dracula is defeated by 1) autism, 2) true love, and 3) incredible violence, and the fact that this isn’t the mainstream understanding of dracula in pop culture is a fucking travesty
Vlad meets Lex Luthor at a gala, and Lex is schmoozing hard.
Lex has heard about Vlad's weirdass business deals, knows something isn't right, and he want whatever untraceable power Vlad's got at his disposal.
Lex has done his research, and knows that Vlad got the equipment for cloning, but that no child was ever announced. So Lex starts bragging, going on and on about Kon and talking about the kid like he's a Thing.
And Vlad, listening to this, has some unfortunate realizations about how he was treating Ellie.
So Vlad excuses himself and does some digging of his own, and holy shit do the dead have a lot to gossip about regarding how Superman used to treat the boy, and Vlad...doesn't want to be compared to either of those buffoons.
He's better than both of them combined.
And he's gonna prove it.
He's gonna be the daddest dad that ever dadded.
He'll be way better than Jack, and if he's a better father than Jack then Daniel and Jasmine and Maddie will follow! He just has to learn how to be a good parent.
Easy.
He proceeds to buy every parenting book he can find, and signs himself up for parenting classes.
Ellie, minding her own business, feels a shiver go down her back.
Vampire Appreciation Week: Favorite vampire fiction(s) OR first vampire obsession
"A silver stake? A crucifix? What, did you think we haven't tried everything before? We've shot him, stabbed him, clubbed him, sprayed him with holy water, staked him through the heart, and STILL he lives! Do you understand? No-one knows how to kill Dracula!"
Justin McElroy comes up with the best fucking characters lmao. I know a lot of people stopped listening to taz after balance ended so I need you to know that they're doing a mini arc TAZ: vs. Dracula and Justin's character is a stuffy old society lady who is very prudish. BUT she died and she got frankensteined into the body of a hot tall battle maiden with "luscious curves"
oh yeah and she died bc Dracula hit her with his car so hard her body exploded
I love Mina because sometimes she solves problems by hacking her psychic link to the enemy and sometimes she solves problems by Understanding Geography
"Back when you first came into my life,
I recalled a place that I knew as a child
A special place
One that I held close to my heart
Won’t you lead me in a dance down this winding road where light and shadow entwine to take hold of the thoughts of the one left far behind?
Know that, sometimes, I want to turn around and see the things that I’ve passed on the journey, but know with love on my side, with courage and pride, I’ll fight
I will carry on"