dahye was honestly not sure why she had signed up for the whole secret santa thing in the first place. she had made plenty of friends at infinite by now, but there were also plenty of names that she could get who she knew nearly nothing about. but when she was assigned kai’s name out of everyone, she immediately thought it was a cruel trick of fate. her relationship with him and with dae was already complicated enough, would getting him a gift make it more awkward? but it was just a silly company tradition, it wouldn’t be that serious, right? what if she just didn’t get him anything? would that be rude? would he ever even find out it was her? what-if’s flooded her head, anxieties drowning her thoughts over such a simple task.
after taking the time to clear her head, pouring over her guitar and smoking one too many cigarettes, she decided there would be no harm in getting him something. it was christmas, after all, and a friendly secret santa gift didn’t mean as much as her overactive brain may have led her to believe. right? she visited an art store in la that looked very nice, figuring art wasn’t a passion someone really fell out of, even after so many years. she even asked the clerk for recommendations, wanting to get something he could get good use out of. she eventually decided on a set of pens and some paints that she thought he would like.
she picked a time in the middle of the day in which she had hoped he was already at rehearsal to approach his hotel room. she knocked and waited for a brief moment. she was leaning down to leave the gift outside the door to make her escape when it suddenly opened. “oh, uh... merry christmas?” her nerves hit her all at once all over again as she held the bag out to him.
i try to pretend i am everything my parents are not, but i look in the mirror and see my father’s eyes and my mother’s stare. my father’s nose and my mother’s laugh. my father’s anger issues and my mother’s tendency to fight back. my father’s selfishness and my mother’s savior complex.
i am an unholy mixture of everything my parents have every hated about themselves. i am the ugly leftovers of singling out inklings of what could make them good.
i am exactly what my parents are, but never what they wanted.
I matched with this guy on hinge. He was cute that’s all I saw. And then he messages me like a dick head with “why do you think we’d be a good match!?😂” and I’m like ahhhh “you seem interesting” and he goes “Ms….leagues…” turns out he was a doctor living in soho. Sooo I get it but why match, why say anything. Idk it hurt me more cause I just found out I’m heavier than I thought and I’m reeling from that. 😭😭😭