Tumgik
#disqualified as a human being
vexypest · 3 months
Text
writing an essay on 'No Longer Human' while listening to Ayesha Erotica.
'Yōzō's reliance on alcohol to numb his pain and anxiety, serves as yet another lens through which the novel examines mental illness. This aspect of Yōzō's story illustrates the complex relationship between mental health and substance use disorders, challenging the reader to consider the ways in which society addresses—or fails to address—these intertwined issues.' NOW ITS FINE CUZ IM A WHORE
10 notes · View notes
kxllerblond · 1 year
Text
*leans in real close to the mic* since clark is a monster does that disqualify him from being a monster fucker? wouldn't fucking other monsters just be another normal tuesday for him? isn't it just...expected?
Tumblr media
11 notes · View notes
chaoticwhoknows · 2 years
Text
im about to pitch the dumbest idea i have ever pitched and i need you all to listen. really stick with me on this.
what if post-nwh peter parker decided to take his spider-bite-gifted super strength and become an olympic athlete bc he’s really low on cash and wants the buffalo wild wings sponsorship deal? think about it. don’t think about all of the other, better, more emotional things i could write using that time. just think about peter parker, olympic athlete
2 notes · View notes
mephiles-the-jester · 13 days
Text
Tumblr media
interrupting mordred posting with heather and her girlfriend,,that is all
1 note · View note
vitiateoriginator · 23 days
Text
Made a big mistake today while trying to reapply to keep my medical insurance now I wanna eat glass
1 note · View note
solrin · 4 months
Text
listen if no one's going to marry Marine I'LL DO IT
1 note · View note
rose022 · 5 months
Text
reading dazais books goes between three moods: this is way too relatable wtf, idrk whats happening but all this exposition seems monotonous, and what is bro on.
1 note · View note
love-rats · 10 months
Text
just read dazai's no longer human... i personally loved it but i can see why people would dislike it
1 note · View note
misskamelie · 1 year
Text
Brain is going all brrrr now that I've finished No Longer Human by Dazai and I'm ahghhhhhf I need to read an essay on it by someone who actually studied this stuff
1 note · View note
trivia-sea · 5 months
Text
Tumblr media
disqualified as a human being
2K notes · View notes
ichorai · 5 months
Text
thread ; coriolanus snow.
Tumblr media
pairing ; young!coriolanus snow x capitol!reader (gender-neutral)
synopsis ; “they’re all just copying us, you know,” he said, sounding almost bitter. 
“of course they are,” you replied, taking a drawn-out sip from your cup. “we showed them there’s no sharks in the water. obviously they’re going to jump in.”
words ; 6.6k
themes ; mild fluff/angst, action
warnings / includes ; themes of classism, violence/injury/death/drug misuse, coryo's paranoia, he isn't exactly toxic yet but the seeds are very much planted, i tried to keep him in character as best i could </3
series masterlist. main masterlist.
Tumblr media
Coriolanus came late to class. He rushed in, uniform only slightly askew, and hair messier than usual. You moved your bag aside so he could take a seat beside you. With a nod, he slipped into the row and began laying out his books. 
You wondered how Tigris reacted once he got back home. Probably worried sick for her cousin and her friend. Your father, of course, was furious with you once he learned about your tryst with Coriolanus in the Capitol Zoo, but there was little he could do when he was off working in the districts. During dinner with your mother, Lucretius Flickerman, and his wife, the tributes and the games were practically all the three could talk about. Lucky was going to be the first ever host, apparently.
How fun.
To neither of your surprise, Highbottom eyed the two of you with disdain. When you had strode into the hall, he remained silent. Coriolanus’ arrival seemed to tip him right over the edge.
“Both of your little excursions were in violation of about five different academy rules,” he grumbled. “Chiefly amongst them—endangering a Capitol student. Yourselves.”
“There were peacekeepers crawling all over the place,” Coriolanus retorted. 
The dean’s nose twitched angrily. Then, he fixed you with a harsh look over his spectacles, and drawled out your name. “Since you are the academy’s brightest, and your records have been… untarnished until now, I will let you off with a warning.” There was a pause, before the dean continued. “Mr. Snow, I’m moving for the gamemakers to disqualify you as mentor, effective immediately.”
“What?” the two of you exclaimed at once.
“You said we had to get them to perform, not stay away!” Coriolanus just about spat.
“I’ll add insubordination, as well,” Highbottom replied, tone venomous.
Raising your hand and ignoring the dean’s irritated exhale, you haughtily said, “It was me who went into the tribute’s truck. Coriolanus only followed. We didn’t know that we’d end up in a zoo enclosure.”
Arachne tittered with condescending laughter. “Yeah, and then you held hands with them. Made it seem like we’re the same as those animals.”
From your other side, Sejanus was quick to defend the two of you. “Coriolanus and Y/N didn’t show those people anything they didn’t already know.”
Stiffening, Coryo scowled and said, “I don’t need your help, Sejanus.”
He ignored him and continued on, “That the tributes are human beings, just like us. That’s why nobody wants to watch the games—because people know, deep down, that winning a war ten years ago doesn’t justify starving people’s children, taking away their freedoms, their rights!”
“Dean Highbottom,” you called, not bothering to raise your hand this time. “How is it fair that Coriolanus gets disqualified while I’m not? We did what you told us to do! We were just trying to get to know our tributes.”
“Would you like to be disqualified as well? I can surely arrange for that to happen,” he deadpanned. “But poor little Wovey would be left all on her own.”
Nausea coiled within your abdomen. You drew yourself up to your full height. “Well, that would be entirely unnecessary—” 
Before you could finish your sentence, the doors to the lecture theater swung open once more, and Dr. Volumnia Gaul crept in, footsteps completely silent. How she managed that, you weren’t at all sure.
With everyone’s eyes on her, she fixed her stare on the two of you. Her hair was wrangled back into a high up-do, tall and grey on her head. 
“Quite a show you two put on. You’re good players,” she said, voice booming throughout the theater. “The hunger games needs good players. Maybe one day you’ll be gamemakers, like me.”
The thought sent chills up your spine. Coriolanus kept his expression stoic.
“If the games continue at all,” said Highbottom.
Singular blue eye flashing, Dr. Gaul grinned in an unnerving manner. “Oh, they’ll continue. With performances like young Snow and L/N in that zoo? The people would never stop wanting for more.” She drew closer to the rows of seats, gloved hand trailing over a few of the desks. “I came here to ask the star mentors a question… what are the hunger games for?”
You and Coriolanus exchanged a quick glance.
“They’re to punish the districts for their uprising,” he said, as if it were obvious. “To commemorate the end of the war.”
Volumnia’s tongue darted out to wet her lips, in a similar fashion to a snake.
“And what would you say, Y/N?”
It was hard to maintain eye contact with her, especially because it felt like she could peer into your very soul and dissect you apart from inside out—but you managed. With your father being such an avid supporter of the hunger games, you wondered if your answer would be what she was looking for. “I don’t agree with the games. But I know it’s because—fear is power. Keep the districts afraid for themselves, for their children, and you’ll always have the upper hand.”
She smiled, wide and eerie. “You’re right. Fear is power. But punishment and fear can take many forms. They can come from bomb droppings, the cancelling of food shipments, stage executions. The question is, why games?”
Defensive, Sejanus spoke up, “Shouldn’t we be asking whether or not it’s right in the first place?”
“You have a problem with my games?” she asked, unimpressed.
“Some of those kids were two years old when the war ended! The oldest of them were only eight!” he exclaimed. “The Capitol is supposed to be everyone’s government now. It is supposed to protect all of us. I don’t see how making children fight each other to the death is protecting anyone.”
With a sneer, Dr. Gaul told him, “That sort of sympathy might be interfering with your mentoring assignment, Mr. Plinth.”
Finally, Highbottom said to his colleague, “Perhaps Capitol students are ill-suited to be mentoring tributes. Perhaps the games’ time has passed.”
Yes, you thought. It’s time to let it go.
To your surprise, Coriolanus abruptly stood up from his seat. “Dean Highbottom is wrong,” he asserted. “My classmates, too. Maybe Sejanus is onto something here. We should be viewing those tributes as human beings. You saw those kids at the zoo. They just wanted to get to know Lucy Gray. If we need people to watch, we should let them get closer to the tributes before the games. Make the stakes personal.”
“Who would watch the games if they care what happens to the tributes?” Dr. Gaul asked, as if the notion of caring about district folk was ludicrous.
“Everyone,” replied Coriolanus. “Especially if they thought the tribute they cared about had a chance of winning. People need someone to root for and someone to root against! And if we bend a few Capitol laws, we can even have them place bets.” 
You felt sick as you looked up at Coriolanus with a mildly disturbed expression. If he noticed, he didn’t give you any indication.
“I know Lucy Gray may not win in the arena,” he continued. “But if you give her a chance—I would bet the Plinth prize that she could win people’s attention.”
Dr. Gaul was effectively intrigued.
“I would like you to write up a proposal of these thoughts tonight, Mr. Snow,” she said. 
Clemensia, strong-headed as ever, stood up and said that she should be working with Coriolanus, as his class partner.
With an amused snicker, Volumnia bowed her head and made her way back to the door. “It’ll be an interesting test,” she ominously said before turning on her heel and exiting, her dark cloak billowing out behind her.
Tumblr media
During lunch, you sat down across from Coriolanus in the cafeteria, noticing that he had three sandwiches stacked on his plate, along with half a dozen cookies on another. It was a rare thing, seeing him with so much food. Usually he opted for just starving himself to save some money, despite your urges to get him to eat.
“Hungry?” you asked with an arched brow, but he shook his head.
“It’s for Lucy Gray,” he replied, staring down at the food. Then, he pulled out a red handkerchief and started wrapping the food up. “I’m going back.”
With a soft sigh, you started digging into your own lunch. “Hopefully not inside this time.”
He spared you half a smile, though it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Are you coming? Everyone else is. I heard Arachne tell Felix she’s going to use food to get her tribute to do tricks for her.”
With a wrinkle of your nose, you glanced over at her several tables down. “Sounds like something she’d say.” You took a bite of your food and chewed thoughtfully.
“They’re all just copying us, you know,” he said, sounding almost bitter. 
“Of course they are,” you replied, taking a drawn-out sip from your cup. “We showed them there’s no sharks in the water. Obviously they’re going to jump in.”
He tied the handkerchief together so the sandwiches and cookies would stay put. “They’re all sheep. No original thought whatsoever.”
There it was again, your wind-chime laugh. Coriolanus smiled down at his plate, now empty save for a few bread crumbs. 
“It’s not that big of a deal, Coryo. Besides, I’m glad most of the class is going. The tributes must be starving in there,” you told him. “I’ll come and bring some food for Wovey.”
A voice from your right jutted into your conversation, Sejanus’ angry face coming into view as he slammed down his lunch tray in the empty spot beside you. “You guys going to fatten up your tributes so you can finally start taking bets?” he just about snarled.
“Do you think they’ll give those kids a scrap if we don’t give them a reason to do it?” Coriolanus responded defensively, leaning forward with narrowed eyes. “How do you think your tribute will have a chance if he can’t eat?”
“We can’t send them back to their homes,” you told Sejanus in a juxtaposingly calm tone. “The best we can do for them now is help them out here.”
The curly-haired man slumped forward, his shoulder stooping like an old wildflower. “He was my classmate,” he muttered. “Back in two.”
Though you gave Sejanus a sympathetic look, Coryo regarded Sejanus as if he was confused. He wondered why Sejanus even bothered to care this much when he was no longer a part of the districts.
“It’s not your fault that—” Coriolanus began, but was swiftly interrupted.
“Oh, yeah, I’m so blameless I’m choking on it!” he gritted out. Then, he let out a shaky breath, trying to steel himself. “My father bought him for me, you know. At the reaping. Just so he could show me that I could never go back to two.”
A frown marred your features. “He bribed Highbottom?”
“Something like that,” Sejanus told you, using the prongs of his fork to poke and prod at his food. “Morphling costs a pretty penny.”
Silence stretched over the three of you for a few seconds. Coriolanus looked annoyed, but Sejanus didn’t seem to notice. 
“Being in the Capitol is going to kill me,” he sighed.
This made Coryo scowl. “So do something about it.”
Sejanus’ dark eyes flitted over to the bundle of food in Coriolanus’ hands. “You’re quite the rebel.”
Coriolanus retorted, “Oh, yeah. I’m bad news.”
When he said that, he’d expected you to laugh again, but you kept quiet, staring down at your now-unappetizing lunch.
Tumblr media
There was a considerably larger crowd around the enclosure that evening. You had a small basket clutched in one hand, consisting of juice boxes (still grape, since you now knew it was a safe option), soft bread rolls, and wrapped leftovers from your dinner with Lucky. You hoped Wovey wasn’t allergic to anything—you’d forgotten to ask in the heat of it all.
Coriolanus still only had the few sandwiches he saved from lunch, but you assured him that you were more than happy to share with Lucy Gray if need be. 
She looked much more haggard tonight, most of her makeup smeared off, her lips chapped and bleeding at the center from what you assumed was anxious biting, and her hair was more unruly. Though her eyes still held the same fire, the same passion, lighting up when she noticed the two of you approaching. She asked if the food was for them with slight surprise—you often forget that they hadn’t much to eat in the districts, anyway—and took what was offered, before handing off a good portion of it to her district partner, Jessup. The larger man declined the food at first, claiming he wasn’t hungry, but eventually caved and took the sandwiches. 
When he turned to walk off, Coriolanus asked about the nasty wound on his neck. It was just behind his ear and oozing with blood and pus. A bat bite on the train, Lucy Gray told the two of you, looking awfully guilty on behalf of her friend. 
Crooning from a little way’s away drew your attention to Arachne and her tribute. She was dangling a cold bottle of water just inches from the tribute’s reach, urging her to beg.
Lucy Gray’s brows cinched. “One thing I learned in twelve is that hunger is a weapon. Your friend over there sure knows it.”
The two of you scoffed at the same time.
“She is not my friend,” Coriolanus told her. “She is poison with perfect teeth.”
“How such a vile tongue hides behind those pearly whites, I wouldn’t ever know,” you remarked, earning you a snicker from Coriolanus. Finally, you peered around for Wovey, eager to finally get her something to eat. However, curse your damned softening heart, your eyes grew gentle upon seeing her curled up by the very same tree stump, head resting on Bobbin’s shoulder, fast asleep. 
Lucy Gray casted a glimpse over her shoulder to see what you were looking at. 
“Could you give this to her?” you asked, slotting the small basket between the enclosure’s metal bars. “When she wakes up, that is. She must be famished. Feel free to take anything in there, but just… leave some for her.”
The girl nodded, taking the basket from you and handing it over to Jessup, who cradled it as if it were more precious than gold. You watched him carefully—not because you were worried he was going to keep all the food to himself, but because you were curious as to why he hadn’t reached in to take anything for himself yet, even after several minutes passed by. 
Coriolanus leaned forward, wrapping a hand around one of the bars as he lowered his voice. “Are you going to share everything with Jessup?”
Lucy Gray’s expression faltered. “Why? You think I oughta build up my strength to strangle him in the arena? Not exactly my forte.”
“I might have a chance to help you,” he told her, watching her keenly. “To make some suggestions to the gamemakers. I might even be able to get the audience to send you gifts in the arena. Food, and water, to keep you going. You just have to try singing again.”
Firmly, Lucy Gray said, “I don’t sing when I’m told, I sing when I have something to say.”
“And you have nothing to say?” you asked her, head tilting. “The whole world is watching, Lucy Gray. Now’s your chance.”
A myriad of emotions crossed over her face. “It doesn’t matter much now, does it? I’ve seen the arena—there’s nowhere to hide. What’s the point?” Her gaze traveled from you to Coriolanus. “The guards say you get money if you get more people to watch and you say you want to help me. Which is it?”
“Both?” he offered. 
It didn’t satisfy her, but it was enough, for now. 
Then, she grabbed a sandwich from the red handkerchief and took a large bite, a muffled noise of appreciation falling from her lips. 
“Bread’s soft,” she said around a mouthful. “Softer than in twelve.”
Then, she offered a cookie to Coriolanus. He began to protest, but she insisted he take it.
“I saw you staring,” she said. “I always thought there was plenty of food in the Capitol.”
Coriolanus laughed, a coarse and unrefined sound. “One time during the war, I ate a whole jar of paste just to stop the pain in my stomach.” 
A match of pity struck within the confines of your chest, but you remained quiet. Coriolanus told you stories of his times during the war often—usually after the two of you laid together, sweaty and naked, bearing your souls to one another. Pillow talk made him quite emotional, you found.
“And how was it?” Lucy Gray queried, eyes round.
Coriolanus took a bite of the cookie, humming in though. Then, he shrugged. “Pasty,” he said.
Lucy Gray laughed. She looked back to you, appreciative. “Thank you, for the food. I’m sure the little one’s going to be happy.” Your eyes flickered back to Wovey. She stirred a bit on Bobbin’s shoulder, but remained asleep. “She’s so sweet. So young. Something about her reminds me of my cousin, Maude Ivory. I can’t stand to think of them without me like this.”
“I’m sorry,” Coriolanus whispered.
You nodded in agreement. “They’re waiting for you, I’m sure. You’ll see them again.”
Lucy Gray smiled sadly. “I won’t hold you to that.” Then, after she took another bite, she blew out a gentle sigh. “You two seem like… genuine folk. It sure would’ve been nice to meet you under different circumstances.”
Coriolanus leaned his head against the enclosure’s bars. “One of your shows, maybe.”
Somehow, her smile grew impossibly wider, but her eyes shone with unshed tears. “Yeah. Yeah, I would’ve liked that.” With a light sniffle, she asked the two of you, “You two keen on dancing?”
You thought back to all the dance lessons you were forced to take as a young child. It was never your strong suit. “Not really, no. Coriolanus is much better than I am.” 
“Not your fancy Capitol dancing,” she told you, waving a hand in the air. “Dancing like you’re free. Dancing with no rules. Just the music, to guide you.”
Both you and Coriolanus exchanged glances. “Can’t say I’ve tried,” you replied. “But it sounds fun.”
Lucy Gray nodded, showing more enthusiasm than you’d ever seen in her before. “You’d have the time of your life. If you ever visit… I’d love for you to come. Both of you—we’d have a drink. Share a dance or two. We’d have all the time in the world. People always say our music shows are the best places for romantic dates. It’d be perfect for you two.”
It was a pleasant fantasy to entertain. But that’s all it was—a fantasy. When you looked at Coriolanus, his expression was simultaneously strained and distant, as if he were far away, thinking of other things. You reached out to place your hand on his shoulder.
But before you could, screams erupted from around the enclosure, followed closely by shattering glass. You whipped your head away from Lucy Gray, seeing Arachne’s tribute jabbing the broken glass bottle straight into her jugular. Coriolanus yelled something—you weren’t entirely sure what, but he jumped up to grab Arachne, applying pressure to the wound.
It wasn’t enough. 
Blood, dark and viscous and filling the air with the smell of copper, began to pool around her neck, down her shoulders, filling the crevices of her collarbones. She was blubbering something, gargling through blood, but you couldn’t quite hear with the loud static buzzing in your ears. 
You glanced to the side, catching sight of peacekeepers lining up their guns to shoot. You rushed forward to get to Coriolanus, yanking him down just as several shots rang out. He was whimpering, telling Arachne to hold on for him, but when you frantically reached down to feel for her pale wrist’s pulse—it wasn’t there.
Arachne was dead. 
You clambered off of Coriolanus, away from the dead girl, backing away. You only barely registered Sejanus calling out your name in concern, but you didn’t pay him any mind. Instead, you turned your eyes to the tributes, all ducking and cowering behind trees and tires. To your relief, Wovey was now awake, eyes wide as she crouched behind the tree stump with Bobbin.
The relief was short-lived, however, because peacekeepers began urging everybody away from the enclosure. You reached out for Coriolanus, taking his arm. He was shaking, eyes as large as saucers and visibly distraught. 
The two of you walked to his estate in tense silence.
Once there, Grandma’am and Tigris fawned over the two of you, though in far different ways. Grandma’am dove into a lecture about rebels and how lucky the two of you were that your tributes hadn’t done the very same. Tigris wrapped a warm shawl over you and a patched blanket over her cousin, telling Grandma’am that Lucy Gray and Wovey weren’t rebels, just innocent girls. 
“Trust me, that one hasn’t been a girl in a long time,” Grandma’am bitterly retorted. “Outside this Capitol, they’re savages, however they may smile. She will use you, Coriolanus. You must use her or you’ll end up dead in the trees, like your father.”
Coriolanus stiffened. 
An hour later, he tugged you into his room and kissed you hard and desperate, as if he wanted to distract himself from his own thoughts. You were the one to pull away, even if everything inside you was screaming to stay. You almost caved, almost, when his head dipped forward in an attempt to capture your lips again, but you placed the tips of your fingers over his mouth with a soft, sympathetic smile. You hugged him tight until he stopped trembling, and reluctantly drew yourself away from him. After embracing Tigris goodnight, you walked home alone with your thoughts, wondering if the games were going to continue in lieu of the evening’s events.
Tumblr media
There was an assembly held at the academy for Arachne’s death, followed promptly by a proper funeral. Though, it didn’t quite feel proper with all the cameras and reporters hovering around. You wondered if people were expecting to see you cry. You were incredibly shaken, sure, but were you sad?
It’d be a lie if you said yes.
They made sure to zoom in on you and Coriolanus when you kissed him on the cheek and squeezed his hand just before he was appointed to go on stage and sing the national anthem. Why he was the one to do so, the two of you had no idea. It’s not like Arachne was friends with him, despite what the reporters wanted to think. It was a ridiculous waste of breath, he thought, singing for a girl he barely knew.
After Coriolanus’ performance, President Ravinstill gave a rather monotonous speech about courage and bravery. How Arachne was going to be sorely missed. Right—of course she was.
And the very next day, life moved on. As if Arachne’s death had never happened.
Soon after, they had all the mentors and tributes gathered into one of the academy halls— with the tributes shackled to tables, of course. It wasn’t like there was anywhere for them to run. You’d seen all the peacekeepers lining the hallways outside.
“In spite of yesterday’s tragic events,” Highbottom said, not a shred of sincerity to be found in his tone, “our President has decided that the games must go on. Show everyone that the Capitol is unafraid of such acts of terror. To which end Dr. Gaul wishes you to preview the arena this afternoon with your tributes. Later this evening, there will be a special, televised presentation of each tribute to our audience so they could… get to know them.”
A glorified show-and-tell, you dryly thought. How wonderful.
You and Coriolanus looked at each other for a brief moment—he’d ask Lucy Gray to sing again, you were certain. Then, you turned back forward, where Wovey was fiddling with her thumbs, sniffling a few times.
“You’ll have an hour to discuss strategy,” said the dean, before whisking himself off to the shadows of the room to down another vial of morphling.
You sat down in front of your tribute, trying your best to offer her a warm smile.
“Did you like the food I brought? Was it okay?” you whispered, making sure to lower your voice.
A nod, a scuffle of feet. Her bottom lip trembled.
Gnawing on the inside of your cheek, you moved on to the pressing matter at hand. “Okay, Wovey. I need… I need to know what you’re good at. Are you a fast runner?” 
She thought for a moment, but then shook her head.
“I know you can climb?”
She let out a shaky sigh. “I used to climb in my mama’s factory all the time. Trees, too.”
“Good. That’s good,” you murmured, pulling out a notepad so you could jot some things down. “Are you good at hiding? Staying still?”
“I think so,” she said, looking awfully uncomfortable. “Will I go back home if I win?”
A sharp pang hit you square in the chest. You tore your gaze away from your notes on the paper to look at her. 
“Yes,” you hesitantly replied. “They’ll take you home.”
This seemed to satisfy her for the time being. Gave her hope that you perhaps shouldn’t have instilled.
You swallowed the lump in your throat. “So—for your televised presentation. We need to win the audience over so they send in donations—I’d be able to send you things. What do you want to do?”
Tumblr media
After quite a bit of back and forth, you managed to get Wovey to agree to talk about her family on stage. How much she missed them. It wasn’t much, but perhaps the youngest tribute sympathy card would push the odds in your favor.
Halfway through the hour, however, Coriolanus and Clemensia were called away by Highbottom—most likely to discuss the proposal Coryo had written up once you left the estate. You made a mental note to ask him how it goes once you saw him again. You felt bad, seeing Lucy Gray sitting all alone, bound hands lightly rapping against the table’s wood.
By the stroke of four in the afternoon, they gathered all the mentors and tributes in front of the arena. Coriolanus came bounding up to the group just seconds away from the gates opening, appearing breathless and mildly frazzled. 
“You okay? Where’s Clemmie?” you asked, resting a hand on his elbow, brows kinking with confusion.
“She’s… not going to make it.” He winced, appearing distinctly torn. “I’ll tell you later.”
There was a brief silence where you scrutinized him, eyes wide. Something bad happened when he was with Dr. Gaul, and you weren’t too keen on finding out.
You walked alongside Coriolanus into the arena, with your two tributes in front of you. Lucy Gray was saying something comforting to Wovey in that sweet voice of hers, and for that you were grateful. The last thing you needed was Wovey to break down in an anxious mess. 
The arena itself was spacious but incredibly rundown, crumbling under the weight of its neglected upkeep. The glass roof was stained and dusty, rusty slants creaking as they parted to filter sunlight into the dome.
“Welcome to the arena of the 10th annual hunger games,” a distorted voice echoed through the arena’s shoddy speaker system. “Tributes, mentors, you have fifteen minutes to survey the space and discuss strategy.”
With one final squeeze on Coriolanus’ shoulder, you parted ways with him, stepping beside Wovey to urge her into a lap around the arena. Staggered rows of dusty seats lined the edges high above the ground—Wovey was a good climber, wasn’t she? 
You tried your best to give her advice. “Hiding in the seats is your best option. Climbing over the rows whenever someone comes to attack you should buy you time. You’re small, too—I think you’d be able to crawl beneath the seats to get away. As for weapons… maybe grab something small from the center. A knife or a dagger. But only if you have time, and only if you know you can make it. If not, just make a break for the seats, as fast as you can. Got that, sweetheart?”
Wovey stayed silent. But she nodded. Nodded and nodded until you worried her head was going to pop right off. 
You bent down at the waist slightly so that you were eye-level with her. “I’ll be watching you the whole time. I’m there if you need m—”
Sudden explosions rang out about the arena. Plumes of dust flew everywhere, blinding you almost instantaneously. With your eyes squeezed shut, you felt the ground shake and split and rumble until another closer explosion flung you a good few feet off the ground. You landed on your side with a strangled scream, though the pain only registered a few seconds later. Cracking your aching eyes open and squinting through the haze of dust, you caught sight of shattered glass thundering around you like crystalized rain, nicking your skin with sharp pin pricks. 
Your right side buzzed with warmth. Something damp. You dazedly looked down.
Oh.
It seemed you’d landed right on a broken metal pipe, sticking right out of your abdomen. Blood was pooling down your academy uniform, soaking the fabric a far more sinister shade of red. You choked out something akin to a dry sob, before screaming out for help. You heard dozens of similar cries echo back to you.
With a grunt, you pushed yourself up, 
“CORYO?!” you screamed as loud as you could. Faintly, you could hear his strained voice echo your name back—somewhere across the arena, you’d wager. 
The pain was starting to grow worse. Searing, almost, as if you were being laid over an open fire. You staggered through the rubble, pressing a hand to your side in a terrible attempt to staunch the bleeding, careful not to jostle the pipe. It was probably the only thing keeping you from bleeding out right then and there.
As you kept moving, you caught sight of a large, gaping hole at the opposite end of the arena. There were tributes running out. Peacekeepers shooting them. The explosions had been so loud that your ears were ringing with terrible white noise—you couldn’t even hear the sound of the rifles blasting.
You glanced around wildly. 
You spotted the small little girl near the edge of the arena. Running with Dill, you realized, mind still lagging a second too late from shock. Another explosion rattled through the arena—this time, crumbling the roof away completely.
With a mangled noise, you began limping as quickly as you could.
Another call of your name, echoing and rattling about your skull, and Coriolanus materialized right beside you out of seemingly nowhere. There were two of him, you realized. He appeared fuzzy. 
You reached out for him, but he suddenly pulled you forward, yelling something. Something you couldn’t hear. A flash of rainbow by his left, and you saw Lucy Gray just barely escape being crushed by a large stone support column. 
More crumbling ceiling. Coriolanus’ hands were cold when he urgently shoved you forward. So hard that you went tumbling down, screaming with the sudden painful jolts the metal pipe sent shooting up your spine. A second later, you blearily looked around for Coriolanus—realizing that he’d pushed you into the clear when you found him pinned down under heavy foundational slants—and they’d caught on fire. 
Numb panic shot through your mind. You barely registered your own voice croaking out his name. You tried to crawl towards him, but he only seemed to get farther away. 
The last thing you saw before your eyes rolled into the back of your head and you went careening backwards was the rainbow dress, and wild, dark hair. 
Tumblr media
The hospital bed was far from comfortable, but you’d been so tired you were knocked out for half of the day. Though, Tigris told you that you did sort of wake up at some point in the night, mumbling Coriolanus’ name with half-cracked eyes, before falling right back asleep.
He’d startled awake before you—rushing to your bed (right beside his) and taking your limp hand in his cold, clammy one. Brushed the hair away from your forehead and muttered apologies and please don’t die like they were a mantra.
When you finally stirred, you nearly burst into tears upon seeing Coriolanus.
“I thought you died,” you dry-sobbed. Your side ached considerably with the effort. “I thought I was going to die.”
He drew you into a loose hug, careful to avoid your bandaged midriff. He pressed a kiss to your forehead. “I’m here. I love you—I’m not going anywhere, okay? Lucy Gray saved you. Saved us.”
“She did?” you croaked, voice soft. Yes, you sort of remembered. It was all a blur.
“She caught you before you could crack your head open on the ground,” said another voice. You turned your stiff neck to see Sejanus at the foot of the other side of your bed, next to Tigris, who was running her hand up and down your arm in a comforting manner.
You blew out a shaky sigh. Your head pulsed, and you suddenly felt nauseous. “What… what happened?”
They took turns explaining. Rebel bombing. The dead tributes. The president’s son, Felix, in critical condition. Sejanus’ tribute missing. How the games were still commencing regardless. The pipe that had been lodged in your abdomen missing any vital organs. How you were lucky to be alive.
“Wovey?” you whispered. “Is she okay?”
Coriolanus smoothed a hand over your head. “She’s okay. Not one of the ones that died.”
“Lucy Gray?” you whispered. 
“Alive. She could have run. She stayed back to help you and me,” he said as his hand traveled down to gently cup your face. There were dark circles under his eyes. “I owe her now. She saved the love of my life.”
“Oh, Coryo—are you okay? Are you hurt?” Your gaze roamed all over his form, clad in an identical hospital gown. 
“A few burns and bruises. Nothing compared to you.” 
You drew in a staggered breath. Every muscle and tendon in your body screamed with even the slightest movements. 
Tigris squeezed your hand. “We were so worried for you. Coriolanus couldn’t sleep all night. Your mother came by earlier but she had to leave—a spill in the lab, or something. And your father sends his love from district two. Your mother said he was furious. Military is doubling down.”
“Typical,” you whispered, supplying the three with half a weary smile, glad that they were there for you. “I can’t believe they’re going on with the games tomorrow. This is absurd.”
“They don’t want to seem weak,” Sejanus bitterly replied. “But you woke up just in time. The televised presentations are starting soon.”
Nearly an hour later, Sejanus switched on the television set hanging in front of the beds. Tribute after tribute went by, most of them appearing gaunt and exhausted. True to what the two of you had discussed, Wovey got on stage and talked about her family back in district eight, despite looking rather shaken. The audience crooned and sighed with pity. Donations were sparse, but still more than you had expected, to your bittersweet relief. You watched from the hospital bed, curled up with Tigris at the head of it, your head on her shoulder, whilst Sejanus and Coriolanus were standing far closer to the curved screen. 
Lucy Gray was the last to go on. She had a guitar with her. And she sang a beautiful song—one about a boy back from home, she said. The audience cheered and sniffled. Even the nurses stopped their bustling to watch, some of them discreetly wiping away tears.
Once visiting hours were over and Tigris and Sejanus were shooed out of the hospital, Coriolanus sat beside you and slung an arm over your shoulder. He slotted his fingers beneath your chin and kissed you deeply. It was a slow embrace, with not a hint of sexual intentions—he just wanted to hold you. Remind himself that you were still alive, still here, still his.
Your nose nudged his when he laid his forehead over yours. The two of you breathed in each other’s comforting presence. Just the two of you. It reminded you of when times were so… uncomplicated. Before all the mentoring came along, the only things you had to worry about were grades and Coriolanus’ refusals to eat properly.
Then, he told you about Clemensia. How she was probably somewhere in this very building. How she screamed when she was bitten by the snake muttation. Your mind raced with questions, but you yawned instead and leaned against his chest. 
“I love you, too, Coryo,” you whispered into his hospital gown, realizing you hadn’t said it back earlier. 
A few minutes later, you were back asleep. Coriolanus was careful not to wake you when he laid you back down. Tucked the blanket up to your chin. He kissed your hairline once more, regarding you with a fond expression, before straightening, trying his best to ignore the aches blossoming over his back and legs.
And then he left the ward, assuring the doctors that he was fine and he could be discharged. They reluctantly agreed after a brief check-up, and had him sign off for himself. Once he was out, he immediately set off for the arena, trying to search for something, anything to keep his tribute alive.
Tunnels. The ground had collapsed into them, giving Lucy Gray a perfect place to run and hide. He went back home, making sure Grandma’am and Tigris were asleep—before pouring a copious amount of powdered rat poison into his late mother’s compact. 
It was cheating. But you and Sejanus had both said it before—he was a rebel by nature. Bad news.
He visited the zoo enclosure and gave it to her then, informing her of the tunnels. Wiped her tears with a handkerchief, then told her he owed her his life and more. That you were okay, and it was all thanks to her. Lucy Gray looked overwhelmed for a moment. She did what any decent person would, she thought. He promised her that she’d get out. Return home to the Covey. False hope whispered unrealistic dreams into her ears and she let herself listen. 
“We all do things we’re not proud of to survive,” he whispered when Lucy Gray attempted to protest, not wanting to poison anyone. He pushed the compact firmly into her hands. “Do it for your family.”
Conflict warred across her features. She nodded once, then twice. 
Coriolanus' expression set with determination. “We are going to win this, Lucy Gray. We’re going to win this together. I’m going to get you home.”
1K notes · View notes
burfbannd0g · 13 days
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Disqualified as a human being.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
641 notes · View notes
Text
The Coprophagic AI crisis
Tumblr media
I'm on tour with my new, nationally bestselling novel The Bezzle! Catch me in TORONTO on Mar 22, then with LAURA POITRAS in NYC on Mar 24, then Anaheim, and more!
Tumblr media
A key requirement for being a science fiction writer without losing your mind is the ability to distinguish between science fiction (futuristic thought experiments) and predictions. SF writers who lack this trait come to fancy themselves fortune-tellers who SEE! THE! FUTURE!
The thing is, sf writers cheat. We palm cards in order to set up pulp adventure stories that let us indulge our thought experiments. These palmed cards – say, faster-than-light drives or time-machines – are narrative devices, not scientifically grounded proposals.
Historically, the fact that some people – both writers and readers – couldn't tell the difference wasn't all that important, because people who fell prey to the sf-as-prophecy delusion didn't have the power to re-orient our society around their mistaken beliefs. But with the rise and rise of sf-obsessed tech billionaires who keep trying to invent the torment nexus, sf writers are starting to be more vocal about distinguishing between our made-up funny stories and predictions (AKA "cyberpunk is a warning, not a suggestion"):
https://www.antipope.org/charlie/blog-static/2023/11/dont-create-the-torment-nexus.html
In that spirit, I'd like to point to how one of sf's most frequently palmed cards has become a commonplace of the AI crowd. That sleight of hand is: "add enough compute and the computer will wake up." This is a shopworn cliche of sf, the idea that once a computer matches the human brain for "complexity" or "power" (or some other simple-seeming but profoundly nebulous metric), the computer will become conscious. Think of "Mike" in Heinlein's *The Moon Is a Harsh Mistress":
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Moon_Is_a_Harsh_Mistress#Plot
For people inflating the current AI hype bubble, this idea that making the AI "more powerful" will correct its defects is key. Whenever an AI "hallucinates" in a way that seems to disqualify it from the high-value applications that justify the torrent of investment in the field, boosters say, "Sure, the AI isn't good enough…yet. But once we shovel an order of magnitude more training data into the hopper, we'll solve that, because (as everyone knows) making the computer 'more powerful' solves the AI problem":
https://locusmag.com/2023/12/commentary-cory-doctorow-what-kind-of-bubble-is-ai/
As the lawyers say, this "cites facts not in evidence." But let's stipulate that it's true for a moment. If all we need to make the AI better is more training data, is that something we can count on? Consider the problem of "botshit," Andre Spicer and co's very useful coinage describing "inaccurate or fabricated content" shat out at scale by AIs:
https://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=4678265
"Botshit" was coined last December, but the internet is already drowning in it. Desperate people, confronted with an economy modeled on a high-speed game of musical chairs in which the opportunities for a decent livelihood grow ever scarcer, are being scammed into generating mountains of botshit in the hopes of securing the elusive "passive income":
https://pluralistic.net/2024/01/15/passive-income-brainworms/#four-hour-work-week
Botshit can be produced at a scale and velocity that beggars the imagination. Consider that Amazon has had to cap the number of self-published "books" an author can submit to a mere three books per day:
https://www.theguardian.com/books/2023/sep/20/amazon-restricts-authors-from-self-publishing-more-than-three-books-a-day-after-ai-concerns
As the web becomes an anaerobic lagoon for botshit, the quantum of human-generated "content" in any internet core sample is dwindling to homeopathic levels. Even sources considered to be nominally high-quality, from Cnet articles to legal briefs, are contaminated with botshit:
https://theconversation.com/ai-is-creating-fake-legal-cases-and-making-its-way-into-real-courtrooms-with-disastrous-results-225080
Ironically, AI companies are setting themselves up for this problem. Google and Microsoft's full-court press for "AI powered search" imagines a future for the web in which search-engines stop returning links to web-pages, and instead summarize their content. The question is, why the fuck would anyone write the web if the only "person" who can find what they write is an AI's crawler, which ingests the writing for its own training, but has no interest in steering readers to see what you've written? If AI search ever becomes a thing, the open web will become an AI CAFO and search crawlers will increasingly end up imbibing the contents of its manure lagoon.
This problem has been a long time coming. Just over a year ago, Jathan Sadowski coined the term "Habsburg AI" to describe a model trained on the output of another model:
https://twitter.com/jathansadowski/status/1625245803211272194
There's a certain intuitive case for this being a bad idea, akin to feeding cows a slurry made of the diseased brains of other cows:
https://www.cdc.gov/prions/bse/index.html
But "The Curse of Recursion: Training on Generated Data Makes Models Forget," a recent paper, goes beyond the ick factor of AI that is fed on botshit and delves into the mathematical consequences of AI coprophagia:
https://arxiv.org/abs/2305.17493
Co-author Ross Anderson summarizes the finding neatly: "using model-generated content in training causes irreversible defects":
https://www.lightbluetouchpaper.org/2023/06/06/will-gpt-models-choke-on-their-own-exhaust/
Which is all to say: even if you accept the mystical proposition that more training data "solves" the AI problems that constitute total unsuitability for high-value applications that justify the trillions in valuation analysts are touting, that training data is going to be ever-more elusive.
What's more, while the proposition that "more training data will linearly improve the quality of AI predictions" is a mere article of faith, "training an AI on the output of another AI makes it exponentially worse" is a matter of fact.
Tumblr media
Name your price for 18 of my DRM-free ebooks and support the Electronic Frontier Foundation with the Humble Cory Doctorow Bundle.
Tumblr media
If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:
https://pluralistic.net/2024/03/14/14/inhuman-centipede#enshittibottification
Tumblr media
Image: Plamenart (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Double_Mobius_Strip.JPG
CC BY-SA 4.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/deed.en
549 notes · View notes
bsd-bibliophile · 3 months
Text
Disqualified as a human being. I had now ceased utterly to be a human being.
Dazai Osamu, No Longer Human
Tumblr media
人間失格 - Ningen Shikkaku
人間 - Ningen - “Human”
失格 - Shikkaku - “Disqualified”
The Japanese title of No Longer Human actually refers to being disqualified from being a human being. Dazai had gotten to the point where he felt he had lost all the qualifications to be considered human, and thus below even the most despicable and worthless human beings.
891 notes · View notes
shallanspren · 2 years
Text
okay lmafo i have to ask. how in the fuck did s.i,x the musical get a tony award for costuming when the costumes (especially seymour’s) are butt ugly and another award for the score when the music is absolutely average at best????
0 notes
cursingtoji · 10 months
Note
hi ! for cliches could you do “fake dating” with gojo please ?
𝑭𝒂𝒌𝒆 𝑫𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈
cw: fluff, naoya ┊The Clichés ™
Tumblr media
“You’re buying matcha Daifuku after this or I’ll never talk to you again” Satoru reminded when you were about to arrive the Zenin state.
“Stop complaining, I already told you I will. Besides, you’re gonna get free food here” you adjusted your kimono.
“Like I would eat anything made by a Zenin.”
“You really don’t know them if you think they cook their own food.”
Your family was invited to a wedding at the Zenin state, you didn’t actually knew the couple but your parents did, and they insisted that you had to go to meet Naoya cause ‘you two would be great together’. After that you panicked and told them you were in fact dating and you would only come if you could bring your boyfriend as a plus one.
Of course your parents were a bit disappointed but once you told them your boyfriend was no other than a Gojo they agreed.
“So, just stay by my side the whole time and in a few days I’ll just tell my parents we broke up, by then Naoya will be back in Tokyo so they won’t try to play cupid anymore.”
“What makes you think I wanna break up?” he placed his arm around your shoulders which you immediately pushed away.
“Listen—” you moved to stay in front of him, only then realizing how beautiful he looked with his dark kimono and no sunglasses, you picked the outfit yourself so neither him or you wouldn’t stand out, the less attention you got from the Zenins the better. That proved to quite impossible when your friend had the prettiest features anyone could wish for.
“I’m listening” he teased when a few seconds passed and you still haven’t said anything, “Like what you see?”
“I’m— Shut up” you moved back to his side lacing your arms together and passing through the gates.
Your parents met you there and you formally introduced Gojo to them. Satoru of course couldn’t help but being… Satoru.
“I can see where your daughter inherited such beauty” he directed to your mom who giggled, “Sir I heard so much about you and what a great father you are to my precious girl” you wanted to throw up. The one thing you told Satoru about your dad was his name.
“Excuse me, I need to find the toilet” you headed there trying to avoid any Zenin on your way. As soon as you were done your mother was waiting for you nearby with no one other than Naoya Zenin.
“Darling, come here. Have you met Naoya before?” you took a look at him. He was tall, no as much as Satoru, and surprisingly handsome, again no as much as Satoru. Yet even the slightest chance of becoming a Zenin made you want to run away as fast as you could.
“Pleasure” he said simply.
“Likewise” you replied dryly.
“I’ll leave you two to talk” your mother claimed and walked away. Unbelievable.
“Your mother told me you are with the Gojo kid. If you don’t mind me asking: how did you two met?” he seemed to be suspicious, could your mom have told him she wasn’t sure about the legitimacy of this relationship?
“Hm—“
“We met at Jujutsu Tech, during the joined event between Tokyo and Kyoto” Satoru appeared to your side magically. Naoya raised his brows slightly but didn’t really moved, like a human being teleported in front of him wasn’t really worth being surprised, “It was love at first sight” he placed his hand on your waist, Naoya’s eyes were fixed on your blushing face.
“You two are quite young to be in a serious relationship” he observed. Indeed both you and Gojo were in the last year of Jujutsu Tech, you in Kyoto and him in Tokyo. That weekend he miraculously was in Kyoto for a mission and as soon as he texted you that you already asked him to pretend to be your boyfriend for that event.
Naoya shouldn’t be more than a couple years older than you, but you knew his intentions were to disqualify your relationship, which was quite courageous since your pretended boyfriend was one of the strongest sorcerers.
“And you are quite old to not be a in a relationship, what’s the problem? Can’t find a submissive wife nowadays?” you lighted elbowed Gojo. Even though you didn’t like the Zenins your parents had business with them, so it was best to keep being friendly.
Naoya squinted his eyes, probably thinking ‘how dare him’. That conversation was getting dangerous, the last thing you wanted was to cause a conflict in a house full of powerful sorcerers.
“You should go, thanks for receiving us” you pulled Satoru before their cursed energy raised and everyone directed their attention at the three of you, “Seriously?” you asked when you were out in the garden with him alone.
“Sorry, sweets, I just can’t stand him and the way he was looking at you. The audacity of this guy…” you adjusted your hair to cover the heat on your face.
The truth was you and Satoru weren’t really close, you only hanged out together once a year during the days of the Kyoto x Tokyo event and the times when he was in Kyoto for a mission or you in Tokyo. That’s why Gojo was surprised when you called him to pretend to be your boyfriend and how could he say no when he has been crushing on you since day one?
“We don’t have to stay until the ceremony, I’ll tell my parents we got called for a mission—“ you felt Satoru’s warm hand on your cheek and he moved your face to look at him, as soon as you met his piercing blue eyes you lost track of your thoughts.
He slowly approached his face to yours and you closed your eyes in anticipation for a kiss. His hand held your face gently but his lips kissed you strongly and stood there for a few seconds, enough to make your heart beat faster than it did during a fight.
“He’s looking at us” Satoru whispered making you open your eyes, he was facing the windows of the house you just left.
“Oh” you couldn’t hold the disappointment in your voice.
“You’re right, you should go, the cursed energy in this house is overwhelming me” he massaged his temple.
“No one told you to come without your sunglasses.”
“Please, like you didn’t want everyone to see what a gorgeous set of blue eyes your boyfriend has” you giggled. ‘Your boyfriend’ was a tittle Satoru could get used to, “Besides I’ve been wanting to try something different” he pulled a black fabric from his pocket.
“Is that a mask?”
“Yeah, it covers more than the glasses and doesn’t wear me out so much, it looks weird though.”
“Can I?” you asked for the mask and he handed to you, “Bend down a little bit.”
Satoru flex his knees to be closed to your height, your fingers brushed his hair back before surrounding his eyes with the blindfold and tying it on the back, Gojo could still see the shape of your face due to the cursed energy and he smiled once he noted the darker shade around your cheeks.
“W—What are you smiling for?” you let go of the fabric adjusting his hair a little bit more.
“Nothing, sweets” he pinched your cheeks.
“Take a look” you pulled a mirror from your tiny purse and handed to him, the way you put his hair was way better than what he was doing before, now it didn’t seem like he was about to hit a piñata.
“What do you think?” he asked, it was weird not seeing his eyes but you knew he was going to feel better like that.
“It’s okay… you look nice” you murmured not wanting to give him too much to brag about.
“Haha you think i’m super handsome, don’t you?”
And he did it anyways.
“No, let’s go.”
“Time for matcha daifuku” he placed his arm around your shoulders and you didn’t pushed away this time.
981 notes · View notes