reminder that the Bad Kids are just that -- KIDS!!! Fabian is allowed to flirt with everything he sees without defining his sexuality. Kristen is allowed to still be figuring out who she is and what her beliefs are. Gorgug is allowed to take as many levels of Artificer he wants. Fig is allowed to change parts of her personality or class. Adaine is allowed to be cool without her anxiety defining her. and Riz is allowed to try out new styles and vibes as much as he wants.
They are KIDS!!!! they are allowed to change and be complex and make choices that a competent adult might not. they are figuring themselves out. stop saying they're "bad" or "stupid" for it. they aren't. this is normal.
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You are not a real person.
You wear a face that is not your own.
You were designed to die.
You wear a face that gets you recognized around the grounds of a school you are not enrolled at (you aren't enrolled at any school.) You live in the same house as the person you were supposed to be. She has the right voice, stands the right way, wears her clothes correctly. When you look like her, you feel wrong. You see all the parts of yourself that are wrong, the makeup you wear, your style, your mannerisms. You can only see all the parts of yourself that fall short of her, but, any closer, wouldn't feel like you.
You are at a party. You don't know anyone her besides her friends (they are the only people you have ever known, but they never know what to make of you.) They helped you enroll in your own school, one that won't know you, one that won't know her. The other day you were desperate, uncertain and panicked. You took a pregnancy test and it came back positive. She never had to worry about that. She never has to worry about disappearing. The steps were confusing, you could've done it wrong. There is a rumble in the ground and you all leap to action, you're loading cannons, healing people, sharing the blessing of her deity (you never really bothered to ask her about all that.)
You are needed on the roof. You can feel it.
The storm is thick and choking, the spray of clouds forces your eyes partly closed. You take stumbling steps towards her. She is on her knees. You've seen her pray before, but something about this is different. You can't tell if its tears or mist pooling on her face. You can't tell if its the pains of combat or the strain of heartbreak contorting her expression. The prayer itself feels wrong too, less holy and more personal.
You follow her gaze.
The words leave your lips before you realize, an automatic reaction to the mammoth mess of wind and cloud and hate: "Blimey."
There is a face in the storm. Monumental, twisting, grotesque, but a face nonetheless. You are good at recognizing faces. She looks a bit... No. It is grotesque. Monstrous. The face you see in nightmares. Lightning cracks and whips around you. You feel something deep and heavy click in your chest as lighting cracks inside the storm. It looks exactly like her.
It looks exactly like you.
And She is beautiful.
It was awe that clicked in your chest. Fear and hope. Awful and awesome. Sublime. Recognition of a power that is beyond yourself.
You don't know what will happen to you if you survive tonight. You don't know how long you live. You don't know where you go when you die.
But you need to reach Her.
You place a hand on her shoulder and take a step towards the roiling clouds, towards It. You can reach her, that is all that is certain.
"I don't know if you heard me,"
The face contorts with rage and fear. It knows not what it is. It is everything that is wrong with Her. It will destroy you, when you return Her. That's O.K.
"But I said—"
You were designed to die.
Lightning envelops you as uncertainty replaces fear. It burns your hands, clasped in prayer, it singes your lips, forming the words of your impromptu, awestruck prayer. It's lightning is not what destroys you though. You feel the prayer work as a peace in all the chaos of your life becomes clear, waves of cool night and weighty cosmic power flow through you, calling you home.
You die a person.
Goodbye K2.
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Hello all! Happy to present a collaborative 18+ D20 fanzine organized by @ribbittrobbit and me titled "All Gore Goes"
There will be fanfics, art, and comics with gore and other 18+ themes (everything will be labeled in a table of contents in case there are squicks/triggers you'd like to skip)
It's free and coming out digitally in late February!
Here are the talented artists and writers involved:
@cloudmancy @codaattheend @sootchild @dogfennel @eamesie @chromathesia @gilears @supersardineburial @47witchyneurons @lessmouse @yeehawpim @rebe-draws @ribbittrobbit @kindlespark @grasslandgirl
cover by @yeehawpim
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