#dating website berlin

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Tabs give me superpowers

Berliners: Otherland has added a second date (Jan 28) for my book-talk after the first one sold out - book now!

"Lifehacking" is in pretty bad odor these days, and with good reason: a once-useful catch-all for describing how to make things easier has become a pit of productivity porn, grifter hustling, and anodyne advice wreathed in superlatives and transformed into SEO-compliant listicles.

But I was there when lifehacking was born, and I'm here to tell you, it wasn't always thus. Lifehacking attained liftoff exactly 19 years and 348 days ago, on Feb 11, 2004, when Danny O'Brien presented "Life Hacks: Tech Secrets of Overprolific Alpha Geeks" at the 0'Reilly Emerging Technology Conference (aka ETCON). I was there, and I took notes:

https://craphound.com/lifehacksetcon04.txt

O'Brien's inspiration was his social circle, in which people he knew to be no smarter or better or motivated than anyone else in that group were somehow able to do much more than their peers, in some specific domain. O'Brien delved deeply into these peoples' lives and discovered that each of them had merely ("merely!") gotten very good at using one or two tools to automate things that would otherwise take up a lot of their time.

These "hacks" freed up their practitioners to focus on things that mattered more to them. They accomplished the goal set out in David Allen's Getting Things Done: to make a conscious choice about which things you are going to fail to do today, rather than defaulting to doing the things that are easy and trivial, at the expense of the things that matter, but are more complicated:

https://gettingthingsdone.com/what-is-gtd/

One trait all those lifehacks shared: everyone who created a little hack was faintly embarrassed by it, and assumed that others who learned about their tricks would find them trivial or foolish. O'Brien changed the world by showing that other people were, in fact, delighted and excited to learn about their peers' cool little tricks.

(Unfortunately, this eventually opened the floodgates of overheated posts about some miraculous hack that turned out to indeed be silly and trivial or even actively bad, but that wasn't O'Brien's fault!)

I'm one of those people whom others perceive as very "productive." There are some objective metrics on which this is true: I wrote nine books during lockdown, for example. Like the lifehackers O'Brien documented in 2004, I have lots of little hacks that aren't merely a way of getting more done – they're a way to make sure that I get the stuff that matters to me (taking care of my family and my health, and writing books) done.

A lot of these lifehacks boil down to making your life easier. There's a spot on our kitchen counter where I put e-waste. Whenever I go out to the car, I carry any e-waste out and put it in a bag in the trunk. Any time I'm near our city dump, I stop and throw the bag into their e-waste bin. This is now a habit, and habits are things you get for free: I spend zero time thinking about e-waste, which means I have more time to think about things that matter (and our e-waste still ends up in the right place).

There's other ways I use habits to make my life easier: after many years, I learned how to write every day:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/01/22/walking-the-plank/

For longer-form works like novels, I "leave myself a rough edge," finishing the day's work in the middle of a sentence. That way I get a few words for free the next day, meaning I never start the day's work wondering which words I'll type:

https://locusmag.com/2014/01/cory-doctorow-cheap-writing-tricks/

One of the most powerful habits I've cultivated is to have a group of daily tabs that I open in a new browser every morning. The meat of this tab group is websites I want to check in with every day, either because they don't have RSS feeds, or because I want to make sure I never miss an update.

This tab-group habit started before RSS was widespread, when most of the websites I wanted to check in on every day didn't have feeds yet, and for many years, this group was just a set of daily reads. But over the years, I started throwing things in the tab-group that I needed to stay on top of.

My daily tabs are in a folder called "unfucked rota" (they were originally in a folder called "rota," which got corrupted and had to be reconstructed in a folder I called "fucked rota," until I finally took a couple hours off and got it in good running order, hence "unfucked rota"). As I type this, "unfucked rota" contains more than a hundred websites I visit every morning, but it also contains:

The edit-history pages for four Wikipedia entries I'm watching;

Chronological feeds of my books on Amazon and Audible, to catch counterfeits as they are posted;

The parent notification portal for my kid's school;

The mileage history for the airline I flew on yesterday (I'll delete this once the flight is posted);

The credit card history for a card I reported a fraudulent charge on (I'll delete this once the refund is posted);

The sell-pages for three products that are out of stock (I'll delete these once the products are in stock and ordered);

A bookmarked newest-first Ebay search for a shirt I like that has been discontinued by the manufacturer;

The new-survey-completed pages for my last two Kickstarters;

The courier tracking page for an item being shipped sea-freight to me from Asia.

The tail end of this unfucked rota changes all the time, but as you can tell, it's got a lot of stuff that would be time-consuming to build a whole new system to track, but which has a web-page that can be easily added to a daily, habitual check-in and then removed when it's not relevant anymore.

Some of these things have email notifiers or RSS feeds, but those are too easy to lose in the noise. I generally delete email from ecommerce sites unread, since 99.99% of the messages they send me are unsolicited marketing nonsense, not the "notify me when this is back in stock" message I do want to see (same goes for my kid's school, which sends me fifty unimportant messages for every message that I must reply to).

Most of the internet is still on the web, which means it can be bookmarked, which means that it takes me one second to add it to the group of things I'm staying on top of, and one second to remove from that group. I get up in the morning, middle-click the "unfucked rota" item in my bookmarks pane, make a cup of coffee, and then sit down and race through those tabs, close-close-close.

It takes less than a second to scan a tab to see if it's changed (and if I close a tab too quickly, the ctrl-shift-T "unclose" shortcut is there in muscle-memory, another habit). The whole process takes between one and 15 minutes (depending on whether there's anything useful and new in one of those tabs).

Tabs, like lifehacks, are also in bad odor. Everyone stresses about how many tabs they have open. It's even inspired Rusty Foster's excellent newsletter, Today In Tabs:

https://www.todayintabs.com/

But this is a very different way to think about tabs. Rather than opening a window full of tabs that need your detailed, once-off attention later, this method is about using groups of tabs so that you can pay cursory, frequent attention to them.

In a world full of administrative burdens, where firms and institutions play the "sure, we'll do that, but you're going to have to track our progress" game to get out of living up to their obligations, this method is a powerful countermeasure:

https://memex.craphound.com/2015/02/02/david-graebers-the-utopia-of-rules-on-technology-stupidity-and-the-secret-joys-of-bureaucracy/

My little tab habit is so incredibly useful, such a powerful way to seize back time and power from powerful actors who impose burdens on me, that I sometimes forget how, for other people, tabs are a symptom of a life that's spiraling out of control. For me, a couple hundred tabs are a symbol of a couple hundred tasks that I'm totally on top of, a symbol of control wrestled back from others who are hostile to my interests.

This isn't how tabs were "meant" to be used, of course. It's an example of the kind of "innovation" that comes from users repurposing things in ways their designers didn't necessarily anticipate or intend.

This is what Jonathan Zittrain meant by "generative" technology back in 2008, when he published his incredibly prescient The Future of the Internet: And How To Stop It:

https://memex.craphound.com/2008/07/22/zittrains-the-future-of-the-internet-how-to-save-the-internet-from-the-internet/

For Zittrain, "generativity" was the property of some technologies that let its users generate new, useful tools and solutions for themselves (this is very different from "generative AI!")

Zittrain described how "curated" computing systems, like mobile devices that relied on apps that couldn't be adapted by their users, were dead ends for generativity. 15 years later, the dismal world of apps has proven him right:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/01/24/everything-not-mandatory/#is-prohibited

To the extent that "lifehacking" is about doing more, rather than being more deliberate about what you accomplish, it can be harmful. I am not immune to the failure modes of lifehacking:

https://locusmag.com/2017/11/cory-doctorow-how-to-do-everything-lifehacking-considered-harmful/

But overall, using tabs as something I close, rather than something I open, is a source of comfort and calm for me. For one thing, ripping through a group of tabs every morning means that I don't have to worry about missing something if I go too fast. I'll get another chance tomorrow:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/05/27/probably/

Decades ago, Dori Smith dubbed her pioneering blog her "#Backup Brain":

https://web.archive.org/web/20020120231027/http://www.backupbrain.com/

At their best, our systems – be they physical, like a spot on the counter where the e-waste goes, or digital, like a tab-group – are "congitive prostheses." They allow us to move important things from the highly contested, busy and precious space between our ears and out there into the world:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/05/09/the-memex-method/

Like those lifehackers that O'Brien studied for his presentation in 2004, I confess to feeling a little silly about telling you all about this. For me, this habit of decades is so ingrained that it feels trivial and obvious. And yet, when I look at people in my life struggling to stay on top of a million nagging administrative tasks that could be easily watched through a morning's flick through a tab-group, I can't help but think that maybe some of you will find a useful idea or two in my unfucked rota.

I'm Kickstarting the audiobook for The Bezzle, the sequel to Red Team Blues, narrated by @wilwheaton! You can pre-order the audiobook and ebook, DRM free, as well as the hardcover, signed or unsigned. There's also bundles with Red Team Blues in ebook, audio or paperback.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/01/25/today-in-tabs/#unfucked-rota

#pluralistic #productivity #life hacks #mozilla #firefox #open web #systems #getting things done #externalized memory #outboard brain #generativitiy

[thatwasthenightthingschanged]

MASTERPOST: eras tour presale (German dates)

since there’s already so much information floating around & we’ll probably get new info regularly, I’ve decided to create this post which collects all information available for the presale for Taylor’s German dates (Gelsenkirchen, Hamburg & Munich). I will pin this post to my blog and update it regularly! also, if you find information that is not on this list yet, please send it to me so I can update this post!

INFORMATION FOR ALL PRESALES OF THE GERMANY SHOWS

FYI: When in doubt, check out the FAQ page of eventim for the Germany shows!

+ I don’t know enough about the other European shows to be able to give you 100% right answers (keep that in mind if you send me an ask about those shows 😊)

UPDATED: July 11th, 7pm CET (latest two updates are marked through cursive font)

REGISTRATION for the pre-sale is only possible until June 23rd at 10am Central European Time (CET) (note: the website also names 23:59 as the time when registration ends. I don’t know which time is the right one, so I’d advise you to register before 10am). To register, click here or follow the link on Taylor’s homepage. Important information regarding registration:

Make sure to register with the same email address you use for your eventim account. They‘ve stated that they will check all e-mail addresses to make sure bots don’t get access, and they do so through checking if the email address refers to a valid eventim account. If you haven’t gotten an account under the email address yet, you should be safe as long as you create an account for it until registration ends (Friday, June 23rd).

Registration does NOT guarantee you will receive a code. They will randomize who will get a code, and the rest of the people who signed up will be put on a wait list.

it does NOT matter when you’ve registered, as long as it is before the deadline ends. like I’ve said, it’s randomized.

you should receive an email from eventim. in it, you have to confirm your registration. however, it might take a while for you to receive the email (e.g. on the first day of registration some people had to wait quite a while to receive the email, as the servers were overloaded).

YOU HAVE TO REGISTER FOR PRESALE TO BE ABLE TO BUY TICKETS! one of the venues tweeted that you’ll only get to buy tickets if you’re registered for pre-sale (x). (don’t know if that means there won’t be a general sale for now)

you have to register separately for each show you want to have access to. If you for example aim for Hamburg and Gelsenkirchen, you cannot make a joint registration for them. click on “register now!” for the dates you’re interested in (see screenshot below)

you cannot register for the additional shows that were announced for Germany. The registration you’ve done before suffices. Via the company organising it: The code you’ll get for a city is valid for all the shows in one city. aka: you can pick the date you want to get tickets for, for example if you’ve gotten a code for Munich you can choose between the two dates.

eventim said that whether ticketholders of Lover Fest Berlin tickets will get a separate presale is up to the concert company organizing the concert, therefore they don’t have any information on it. I personally don’t think there will be a presale for Lover Fest Berlin ticket holders.

The PRESALE for the German shows will take place on July 12th. Important information regarding the presale:

please note that the presale for some of the European shows takes place on July 11th or other dates. however, July 12th applies to all shows in Germany.

The times when the presale starts are now different! The Gelsenkirchen presale starts at 9am, the Hamburg presale at 11am and the presale for the Munich shows at 1pm CET.

If you were chosen (per the email on July 5th), you will receive your code via email until July 11th, 5pm CET at the latest.

click on the link in this email for access.

it is very likely you’ll be sent to the waiting room. eventim says this about the waiting room: When completing your ticket purchase, stay within one browser window. Opening multiple windows or tabs to purchase tickets may result in errors.

tickets are limited to four per customer per unique code. this means: if you receive a code for, for example, Hamburg, you can pick a date and purchase up to four tickets for that date. If you purchase four tickets for that one date, you cannot use that code anymore. If you, however, only purchase two tickets, you can purchase two tickets for the second show as well with that code (see eventim’s reply).

UPDATE: please note that each code only refers to a specific venue. once you’ve gotten through the queue on presale day, you can only buy tickets for that one venue, but you can choose which date you’d like to try for. If you receive codes for several venues, you have to finish purchasing your first order before you get purchase tickets for another venue.

TICKET CODES CANNOT AND SHOULD NOT BE SHARED OR TRANSFERRED. you might not be able to buy tickets if you do so. (imo transferring does work if you’ve got the other person’s account info, as the code is specific to the eventim account tied to it)

tickets will be sold until inventory lasts.

per eventim’s faq page you can only deposit your payment info into your account if you buy tickets from the website. Otherwise it is NOT possible to save your payment info in your account before the sale. But! This should not matter since, after you have added a ticket to your basket, that ticket will be reserved for you for approx. 15 minutes, so plenty of time to put in your payment info! But you should still make sure to check if your credit card has a spending limit!

UPDATE: Tickets will be personalized for the person from whose account the tickets are bought. the people accompanying them do not have to be noted when buying. The buyer of the tickets has to attend the concert! If for some reason the buyer cannot go, you can transfer the tickets to someone else, but it’s a rather lengthy process. an example for how to transfer personalized tickets for a different artist can be found on eventim’s faq page under 3.

UPDATE: USEFUL INFORMATION FOR BEFORE THE PRESALE

make sure you have your password and payment method ready!

clear your cache & cookies!

you CAN and SHOULD already click the link in your presale code email before presale starts. the link sends you to the general presale page. Pick the date of the show you want to attend & click on the grey button to at the right (I’ve added a screenshot below but it’s for the Vienna shows for which the presale was already today, so the button is blue. The button tomorrow will be gray before presale). NOTE: dates may appear twice, as you can see below. the date at the top is always for regular tickets, the one below for vip tickets:

after you have clicked the button, you will be send to a page which will say sth along the lines of “presale hasn’t started yet”

They’ll open a waiting room 30 minutes before presale starts. This waiting room will refresh & send u to the queue automatically once the clock hits the time of the presale. I don’t know whether it influences your position in the queue but I would recommend going into it anyway.

you will be send to the queue once presale starts. DO NO OPEN ANY OTHER TABS OR BROWSERS ANYMORE ONCE YOU’RE IN THE QUEUE! if you do, you’ll lose your spot in the queue.

If you’re WAITLISTED:

per eventim’s faq page, this means that you’re waitlisted until more, if any, tickets become available for your chosen city.

if that is the case, you will be notified via email with the relevant information & timing details.

your notification may come at ANY TIME after July 12, 2023.

eventim & all the venues recommend signing up to the Taylor Nation newsletter in case new presales happen/more shows are added

PRICES & SEATING: 

eventim tweeted that they don’t know the prices for tickets until pre-sale begins (it was the same with the Lover Fest Berlin show). so I’d recommend setting yourself a budget (x)

UPDATE: eventim finally released the seating maps for all of the shows! here’s the one for Gelsenkirchen:

this is the map for Hamburg:

and this is the map for Munich:

UPDATE: for Vienna, you could not pick your seat but only the price category of your ticket. eventim tweeted they can’t tell whether that will be the case tomorrow. So, once again, set yourself a budget!

INFORMATION SPECIFIC TO THE GELSENKIRCHEN SHOW (VELTINS-ARENA)

Link to the venue’s site for Taylor’s concert

the stadium will sell hospitality tickets - those will go on sale on July 12th, 10am, too (you’ll be able to buy them under this link)

below, you’ll find the general seating chart for the stadium. They will close the roof of the stadium in case of rain, so - in contrast to Munich - you’ll be sheltered from it anywhere.

General Advice

the venue is cashless - alternatively you can buy a card from them onto which you can load money via cash or use the “schalke 04″ app to preload money on a digital card. this is relevant for buying merch! the physical card might also have a special design for Taylor’s show. (thank you @youlooklikeasixtiesqueen​ for the info! for more information, you can read her full asks he/re)

INFORMATION SPECIFIC TO THE HAMBURG SHOW (VOLKSPARKSTADION)

below, you’ll find the general seating chart for the stadium. All seats in the bowl are covered by a roof, the floor isn’t.

INFORMATION SPECIFIC TO THE MUNICH SHOW (OLYMPIASTADION)

(I’ve actually been to a concert in this venue before, so if you need info re: where to sit & what the venue is like, send me an ask!)

Link to the venue’s site for Taylor’s concert

General Advice

the Olympiastadion has a roof (in case it rains). but! only sections E2 until V1 one are fully under it, with sections F1 to G2 and U2 to S2 being partially roofed (see general seating chart below). I had tickets for section U2 at my concert and I would actually recommend not going further than this if you really want to be covered by the roof.

if you’re looking for cheap tickets: there should be standing tickets available for the bowl (besides the regularly seated tickets) and those should be the cheapest ones. I can highly recommend them! I had standing tickets for section U2. This section is tiered and has sectioned off rows. Each row consists of two stone steps on which you can sit down. So, imo, it’s essentially like having seats but paying much less money. And you have a great view from them! You also don’t have to worry about when you arrive - they fill these rows up from the back, so technically if you arrive shortly before the show begins, you should be at the front of the section.

#eras tour presale masterpost #! :) as promised #there might already be info missing here so pls bear w me i'm still trying to process everything

[maleyhae]

WE FELL IN LOVE IN OCTOBER g.s x fem! reader

Gustav x Reader

warning- rushed(?)

A/n- best way to start the even:3 thinking abt giving some of my socials let me know!!

i don't consent to my work being copied, translated, or posted on any other website thank you <3

READERS POV:

I've known my friend Georg since the start of his brand new career of a guitarist and his band 'Tokio hotel' though I've never met them but I've heard of them as Georg talked about them and this friend who is the drummer named Gustav. He must've thought it was a great match since I was a drummer in my band (band-name). I'm meeting the band today ok October 1st a couple days into my favorite season Fall. It was cliche yes but it was whatever. I walked to the coffee shop we were meeting at thankfully I was on tour in Berlin, Germany where they lived and not in any other part of Europe. "Hi can I get a (coffee order) please?" I asked as I had accidentally gotten there early due to me mis-reading the time Georg sent me.

As I finally finished my coffee they walked in and order whatever they order and came and sat at my table "Hallo ich bin ___" I said in german as I did when I meet new people it's a weird habit of mine that I got from my mom. "Hallo! Ich bin Kaulitz Bill!" Said the lead singer of the band. "Ich bin Tom." The one with dreads said following Bill they kinda looked like twins. "Hallo ich bin Gustav..." The I assume drummer of the band as he fit Georg description of the drummer said quick as if he did not want to be here. It felt like Cupid hit me with his arrow and I had Hearts in my eyes almost. "Nice to meet y'all and hi again Georg!" I said nervous in English.

GUSTAVS POV:

Georg has been telling me about this ___ girl said she was a drummer and that he thinks I would like her a lot I didn't really pay attention till October 1st when she was available as he said. I honestly thought it was to hook me up with this random girl he meet. No! They actually knew each other. And my god she was beautiful.

Her hair, eyes, smile, laugh, hoe she was blushing all the time. I had to snap out of it quickly as tom hit me to tell her my name and dear heavens above her voice was almost as beautiful as her. We hung out I was quite as I didn't feel wanted in most of the conversations which I was used to from the interviews.

Then ___ said "Gustav how are you I haven't heard you talk since you introduce yourself to me?" She asked in a worry type way "oh, um, I'm good and yeah sorry been thinking a lot how are you today?" I asked back and she smiled at me again me and her talked for a bit then Tokio hotel had to leave for a interview or something I don't really remember and I grew a pair of balls and I asked if I could talk to her.

"Hey Gus what's up?" She asked me "I wanted to know if you wanted to go out with me one on one maybe as a date I know we just meet today but I'd love to get to know you more. " I said fast I'd be surprised if she understood what I said. "Huh?" She said I knew this was a bad idea. "Never mi-" I started then she cut me off with a "Yes I'd love to Gustav"

So kids that's how I meet your wonderful mother and how we feel in love in October

#maleyhae fanfictions #gustav schafer x reader #fall #maleyhae halloween event #halloween #love at first sight #tokio hotel #bill kaulitz #tom kaulitz #georg listing #gustav schäfer

[ifthenslashers]

Celebrate 10 years of If/Then with Original Cast Members at 54 Below in NYC!

Dates:

Monday, June 24, 2024 7:00PM; doors open 5:30PM

Monday, June 24, 2024 9:30PM; doors open 9:00PM

Pricing: $67.50-$176.50USD, excluding $25 food minimum

Website Description:

Let your “Map of New York” lead you to 54 Below for a celebration of the Pulitzer Prize and Tony Award®-winning team of Tom Kitt and Brian Yorkey’s 2014 Broadway musical IF/THEN. Join original Broadway cast members as they share memories from the production, as well as sing from the beautiful Tony Award®-nominated score once again for New York audiences.  The evening is produced by Brent McCreary and directed by IF/THEN Associate Director David Alpert. Music direction by Carmel Dean.

Returning Cast Members: *subject to change

Miguel Cervantes

Jenn Colella

Marc de la Cruz

Curtis Holbrook

Stephanie Klemons

Janet Krupin

Tyler McGee

Anthony Rapp

Ryann Redmond

Joe Aaron Reid

James Snyder

Jason Tam

Damien Bassman on drums

Alec Berlin on guitar

Brian Hamm on bass

Venue: 254 W 54th St. Cellar, NYC 10019

Find out more: Website | Instagram | Facebook | YouTube | Twitter

#if/then #54 below #new show #ten year anniversary #james snyder #jenn colella #miguel cervantes #marc delacruz #curtis holbrook #stephanie klemons #janet krupin #tyler mcgee #anthony rapp #joe aaron reid #jason tam #news #new production #54 Below 2024

[edithhaimbergernotebook]

Tibetan Uprising Day 2024 and a Half-Forgotten Human Rights Disaster

Protesters on Tibetan Uprising Day at Pariser Platz. Berlin, March 10, 2024. Photograph by me (Edith Haimberger). All rights reserved.

"Tibetans inside Tibet: We are with you!"

— sign at Berlin protest on March 10, 2024

The red, yellow and blue colours of Tibet's flag flew across the Pariser Platz square behind Brandenburg Gate on Sunday as some 80 protesters gathered for Tibetan Uprising Day.

Reeducation camps for Uyghur Muslims in China, more rarely developments in Hong Kong, and controversies around the Dalai Lama who is the spiritual leader of Tibetan Buddhists, may dominate international news headlines.

But the plight of inhabitants in the Tibetan region that the protestors portrayed in signs, speeches, and information panels yesterday is no longer common knowledge.

A youngish man in jeans and a puffer jacket, who was walking across the square on Sunday, asked the police officer beside him who had mentioned Tibet, "Was ist das?" ('What is it?') The police officer, at least, knew the answer.

Miniature History In 1950 the Chinese People's Liberation Army invaded the remote region bordering Nepal. Ever since then, the autonomy or even the independence of Tibet has been hotly disputed, as well as the measures through which the ruling Chinese Communist Party governs the country. Tibetan Uprising Day marks the anniversary of a revolt in 1959.

Image: "Tibetexpedition, Kloster in Samada." (Tibet Expedition, Convent [or Monastery] in Samada.) Photo taken by Ernst Krause in 1938. Uploaded to Wikimedia Commons by the German Federal Archives.

'Many of us standing here today,' a speaker wearing traditional embroidered clothing told the crowd in Berlin, 'have never been in Tibet.'

Instead the protesters on Sunday were often exiles, many second-generation.

Their relatives in Tibet face systematic repression.

"Menschenrechte für Tibet" "Freiheit für Tibet"

— 'Human rights for Tibet' and 'Freedom for Tibet.' Signs at the Berlin protest on March 10, 2024.

The Berlin speakers accused the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) of cultural genocide. Children as young as 5 years old are sent to residential boarding schools where they are educated as Chinese, while Tibetan language and culture are forbidden.

Monasteries and convents that were destroyed in the mid-20th century and only partly rebuilt in the 1980s remain vulnerable.

The Chinese government has been building massive hydroelectric dams in Tibet. Permission from Tibetans is not asked, a reporter from Tibet.tv said at the protest in Berlin. Instead, entire villages and monasteries, dating back even to the times where Europe was in the Middle Ages, are destroyed.

Local Tibetans who protest mega-dam projects are arrested and, at times, beaten.

A-Nya Sengdra, a nomad in Qinghai province, is in the middle of a 7-year prison sentence on charges like 'provoking trouble.' In a 2020 press release from the UN's Office of the High Commissioner for Human Rights, experts say that he had been active for example against "illegal hunting and poaching of endangered animals."

As his prison sentence continues, friends are worried for his health.

Outside Tibet, in his Indian exile of Dharamshala, the Dalai Lama has also spoken enigmatically about his successor as spiritual leader. He is 88 years old. The reincarnation of the Dalai Lama has a spiritual dimension for Tibetan Buddhists, but the Chinese Communist Party — a secular body —wants the next Dalai Lama to be approved by them first.

But, also explaining why Tibet is seldom in news headlines, it is difficult to obtain information from within the region. Writing for the Human Rights Watch website in 2022, an expert spoke of

draconian controls on the flow of information between Tibet and the outside world *

The Heyday of International Awareness of Tibet In the 1980s and 90s and early 2000s, Tibet was a cause célèbre. Actress Sharon Stone and actor Richard Gere, who are Tibetan Buddhist, spoke out in favour of its independence. The Tibet-inspired American fantasy film The Golden Child (1986) earned $149.4 million at the box office. In 1997, two films followed: Kundun, directed by Martin Scorsese, and Seven Years in Tibet . When this reporter arrived in Germany in 2006, a string of Tibetan prayer flags crossed above a neighbourhood street. Tourists were drawn to Tibet — this has not changed: it is estimated that 15 million of them visited in 2015. But Tibet was not just famous in cultural spheres. In 1989, the Dalai Lama won the Nobel Prize for Peace.

*

Tenuous links exist between Tibetans in countries like Germany and Tibetans in the Tibetan Autonomous Region. But the CCP's surveillance extends beyond international borders. Telephone calls may be monitored, participation in protests by Tibetans in exile become a problem for relatives.

Young women at the Tibetan protest in Berlin, Germany, speak out against the Chinese Communist Party's gathering of DNA as part of a surveillance programme. Photograph taken by me (Edith Haimberger), on Sunday, March 10, 2024. All rights reserved.

Surveillance within Tibet is so severe that human rights organizations and activists reported in 2022 that the CCP are gathering DNA on a large scale — of hundreds of thousands of people, including schoolchildren — to track dissidents.

*

The Tibet Initiative Deutschland and the Gesellschaft für bedrohte Völker, two non-governmental groups, co-organized the Berlin protest on March 10.

The Gesellschaft noted on their social media that German Chancellor Olaf Scholz will travel to China in April.

In Tibetan communities in the country and abroad there are conflicting opinions on how to resist the Chinese Communist Party. Peacefully, through classic forms of protest? Through self-immolation?

"We know through painful experience that freedom is never voluntarily given by the oppressor; it must be demanded by the oppressed."

— Quoted during the March 10 protest. From Martin Luther King, Jr.: Letter from a Birmingham Jail (1963) [Wikiquote]

A speaker from the Tibet Initiative Deutschland described his group's campaign to persuade municipalities across Germany to raise the flag of Tibet over their town halls for Tibetan Uprising Day in solidarity. Over 400, he said, had agreed.

Efforts at the federal level by the German chancellor, foreign minister, and others on behalf of minorities' civil and political rights, however, are apparently often undermined by German corporations.

A representative of the Gesellschaft für bedrohte Völker told the crowd in front of the German Foreign Ministry yesterday:

Corporations doing business within China — the German foreign ministry reports in its China-Strategie publication that there are 5,000 of these — lobby for silence, fearing financial losses.

[rockislandadultreads]

September NoveList Challenge: Dark Academia

It's time to go back to school! Read a book with the theme dark academia.

Did you know NoveList is a database you can access with your library card to find reading recommendations? Find your next favorite read with this fantastic readers tool! Check it out on our website here.

Ninth House by Leigh Bardugo

Galaxy “Alex” Stern is the most unlikely member of Yale’s freshman class. Raised in the Los Angeles hinterlands by a hippie mom, Alex dropped out of school early and into a world of shady drug dealer boyfriends, dead-end jobs, and much, much worse. By age twenty, in fact, she is the sole survivor of a horrific, unsolved multiple homicide. Some might say she’s thrown her life away. But at her hospital bed, Alex is offered a second chance: to attend one of the world’s most elite universities on a full ride. What’s the catch, and why her?

Still searching for answers to this herself, Alex arrives in New Haven tasked by her mysterious benefactors with monitoring the activities of Yale’s secret societies. These eight windowless “tombs” are well-known to be haunts of the future rich and powerful, from high-ranking politicos to Wall Street and Hollywood’s biggest players. But their occult activities are revealed to be more sinister and more extraordinary than any paranoid imagination might conceive.

This is the first volume of the "Alex Stern" series.

Heaven by Mieko Kawakami

Hailed as a bold foray into new literary territory, Kawakami’s novel is told in the voice of a 14-year-old student who is subjected to relentless torment for having a lazy eye. Instead of resisting, the boy chooses to suffer in complete resignation. The only person who understands what he is going through is a female classmate who suffers similar treatment at the hands of her tormentors.

These raw and realistic portrayals of bullying are counterbalanced by textured exposition of the philosophical and religious debates concerning violence to which the weak are subjected.

Other People's Clothes by Calla Henkel

Hoping to escape the pain of the recent murder of her best friend, art student Zoe Beech finds herself studying abroad in the bohemian capital of Europe - Berlin. Zoe, rudderless, relies on the arrangements of fellow exchange student Hailey Mader, who idolizes Warhol and Britney Spears and wants nothing more than to be an art star. On Craigslist, Hailey unknowingly stumbles on an apartment sublet posted by a well-known thriller writer. Feeling as though they've won the lottery, the women move into the high-ceilinged pre-war flat. Soon they realize that their landlady, Beatrice, who is supposed to be on a residency in Vienna, is watching them - and her next book appears to be based on their lives. Taking stock of their mundane routines - Law and Order binges and nightly nachos - Hailey insists they become people worthy of a novel. As the year unravels and events spiral out of control, they begin to wonder whose story they are living, and how will it end?

Other People's Clothes is brilliant on the sometimes dangerous intensity of female friendships, on millennial life in the city, and on the lengths people will go to in order to eradicate emotional pain.

Real Life by Brandon Taylor

Almost everything about Wallace is at odds with the Midwestern university town where he is working uneasily toward a biochem degree. An introverted young man from Alabama, black and queer, he has left behind his family without escaping the long shadows of his childhood. For reasons of self-preservation, Wallace has enforced a wary distance even within his own circle of friends—some dating each other, some dating women, some feigning straightness. But over the course of a late-summer weekend, a series of confrontations with colleagues, and an unexpected encounter with an ostensibly straight, white classmate, conspire to fracture his defenses while exposing long-hidden currents of hostility and desire within their community.

#dark academia #fiction #fiction books #novelist #reading challenge #reading recommendations #reading recs #book recommendations #book recs #library books #tbr #tbrpile #to read #booklr #book tumblr #book blog #library blog #readers advisory

[nfcwproject]

(ENG) Auf Deutsch unten #nfcdab2024 “Leise-Park” 6th Ed. Berlin Near-Field Communication Digital Art Biennale aka #nfcdab #nfcdab is a DIY or DIWO [DO IT WITH OTHER]? Digital art biennale that travels on wireless technologies, light waves and electromagnetic fields e.g.: Wi-Fi routers, QR codes or NFC tags to access content. the idea of the biennale is to take advantage of the potential of near-field (mis)communication[sic!] and other sharing technologies for making web-based digital art accessible in outdoors settings. it slack-keeps presence next to the frameworks of galleries and institutions. Hashtag: #nfcdab #nfcdab2024

Open call: for online artists link to facebook event: https://fb.me/e/1MHZXhXzO

Project title: "Leise-Park".

Project description: We invite online artists to participate in our disturbing project entitled "Leise-Park". In this project, we want to explore the issue of silence as an opposition to the anxiety we may feel in the context of the development of various digital trends and Internet technologies. The pervasive availability of mobile devices for spreading content and ideas through all types of Internet-based media, creates a sense of loss of self-control resulting from the pervasive information chaos. Our beloved smartphones are beginning to turn us into a kind of zombie addicted to absorbing information content from the Internet. What consequences does this have for us as well as for further social evolution? Do the emotions that accompany us at this moment allow us to analyze this phenomenon. Can we face this new reality? Can artists help us understand what currently surrounds and shapes us. Can we find distance from the world around us and calm down, or will we become technological zombies? That's why in the “Leise-Park” project we want to ask this question to artists who are willing to take part in our project with their work. Like all our projects this one too is based on the idea of DIY and DIWO. We often think of the park as a place with sculptures, traditionally made of stone, here those sculptures are to be works displayed on the smartphones of the show's viewers. Access to the links via a poster with a QR code pasted on a cardboard presenter cut to resemble a plant plaque. Presenters with the artists' works will be placed at various locations in Leise-Park. The show will run from February 2 - 4, 2024 and is part of the Vorspiel project, which is an initiative of transmediale and CTM Festival to showcase the richness and diversity of Berlin. So we invite you, as part of our project, to a creative exploration of a former Berlin cemetery turned into a publicly accessible Leise-Park.

The events were organized in cooperation by #nfcdab - Dominik Podsiadly, noemata - Bjørn Magnhildøen, BrowserBased - Zsolt Mesterhazy

Place: Leise-Park Heinrich-Roller-Straße 24, 10405 Berlin (DE)

Date: Vernissage: 2 February 2024 2.00 PM Open: 2 – 4 February 2024, 8.00 AM - 8.00 PM

Technical requirements: In short about submission: we would like to show the art works that can be implemented on QR CODE and can be displayed on mobile devices eg. links to websites(YouTube, Tumblr, Soundcloud to name a few), short texts and little ASCII art, links to personal web pages, art app, games or arts hacks. We would like to present all type of art expression and intellectual invention.

Deadline: ▓ January 27 2024

Submission Guidelines: ▓ add subject: “Leise-Park” - required ▓ send an image or PDF file or (*.zip or link to download) to our email: [email protected] ▓ feel free to add some short info in pdf max 500 characters

Image Guidelines: ▓ depth – Black & White only ▓ print dimension – A4, landscape

QR Code Guidelines: ▓ all type of qr & bar codes ▓ readable in popular mobile apps ▓ attached data, example: links, text, images ▓ we love custom art and free modifications (look point above)

More Info: ▓ blog: https://nfcdab.org/ ▓ fb page: https://www.facebook.com/nfcdab/ ▓ fb open group: https://web.facebook.com/groups/1nfcdabiennale/

(DE) #nfcdab2024 “Leise-Park” 6th Ed. Berlin Near-Field Communication Digital Art Biennale aka #nfcdab #nfcdab ist eine DIY oder DIWO [DO IT WITH OTHER]? Digitale Kunstbiennale, die sich auf drahtlose Technologien, Lichtwellen und elektromagnetische Felder stützt, z.B.: Wi-Fi-Router, QR-Codes oder NFC-Tags, um auf Inhalte zuzugreifen. Die Idee der Biennale ist es, das Potenzial der near-field (mis)communication[sic!] und anderer Sharing-Technologien zu nutzen, um webbasierte digitale Kunst in Außenbereichen zugänglich zu machen. Sie bleibt locker neben dem Rahmen von Galerien und Institutionen präsent. Hashtag: #nfcdab #nfcdab2024

Offener Aufruf: für Webkünstler Link zur Facebook-Veranstaltung: https://fb.me/e/1MHZXhXzO

Projekttitel: "Leise-Park"

Projektbeschreibung: Wir laden Online-Künstler ein, sich an unserem beunruhigenden Projekt mit dem Titel "Leise-Park" zu beteiligen. In diesem Projekt wollen wir die Frage der Stille als Gegenpol zu der Angst erforschen, die wir im Zusammenhang mit der Entwicklung verschiedener digitaler Trends und Internettechnologien empfinden können. Die allgegenwärtige Verfügbarkeit mobiler Geräte zur Verbreitung von Inhalten und Ideen über alle Arten von internetbasierten Medien führt zu einem Gefühl des Verlusts der Selbstkontrolle, das aus dem allgegenwärtigen Informationschaos resultiert. Unsere geliebten Smartphones verwandeln uns allmählich in eine Art Zombie, der süchtig nach der Aufnahme von Informationsinhalten aus dem Internet ist. Welche Folgen hat das für uns und für die weitere gesellschaftliche Entwicklung? Erlauben uns die Emotionen, die uns in diesem Moment begleiten, dieses Phänomen zu analysieren? Können wir uns dieser neuen Realität stellen? Können Künstler uns helfen zu verstehen, was uns derzeit umgibt und prägt? Können wir Abstand von der Welt um uns herum gewinnen und zur Ruhe kommen, oder werden wir zu technologischen Zombies? Deshalb wollen wir im Projekt „Leise-Park“ diese Frage an Künstlerinnen und Künstler stellen, die bereit sind, sich mit ihrer Arbeit an unserem Projekt zu beteiligen. Wie alle unsere Projekte basiert auch dieses auf der Idee von DIY und DIWO. Wir denken oft an den Park als einen Ort mit Skulpturen, traditionell aus Stein, hier sollen diese Skulpturen Werke sein, die auf den Smartphones der Betrachter der Ausstellung angezeigt werden. Der Zugang zu den Links erfolgt über ein Poster mit einem QR-Code, der auf einen Präsenter aus Pappe geklebt ist, der wie eine Pflanzenstecker aussieht. Die Präsenter mit den Werken der Künstler werden an verschiedenen Orten im Leise-Park aufgestellt. Die Ausstellung läuft vom 2. bis 4. Februar 2024 und ist Teil des Projekts Vorspiel, einer Initiative der transmediale und des CTM Festivals, um den Reichtum und die Vielfalt Berlins zu präsentieren. So laden wir Sie als Teil unseres Projekts zu einer kreativen Erkundung eines ehemaligen Berliner Friedhofs ein, der in einen öffentlich zugänglichen Leise-Park umgewandelt wurde.

Die Veranstaltungen wurden in Zusammenarbeit von #nfcdab - Dominik Podsiadly, noemata - Bjørn Magnhildøen, BrowserBased - Zsolt Mesterhazy organisiert

Ort: Leise-Park Heinrich-Roller-Straße 24, 10405 Berlin (DE)

Termin: Vernissage: 2. Februar 2024 14.00 Uhr Geöffnet: 2. bis 4. Februar 2024, 8.00 bis 20.00 Uhr

Technische Anforderungen: Kurz zu den Einreichungen: Wir möchten Kunstwerke zeigen, die auf QR CODE implementiert und auf mobilen Geräten angezeigt werden können, z.B. Links zu Websites (YouTube, Tumblr, Soundcloud, um nur einige zu nennen), kurze Texte und kleine ASCII-Kunst, Links zu persönlichen Webseiten, Kunst-Apps, Spiele oder Kunst-Hacks. Wir möchten alle Arten von künstlerischem Ausdruck und geistiger Erfindung präsentieren.

Abgabetermin: ▓ 27. Januar 2024

Einreichungsrichtlinien: ▓ Betreff hinzufügen: "Leise-Park" - erforderlich ▓ Senden Sie ein Bild oder eine PDF-Datei (*.zip oder Link zum Herunterladen) an unsere E-Mail: [email protected] ▓ Bitte fügen Sie eine kurze Info im pdf-Format hinzu, max. 500 Zeichen

Bild-Richtlinien: ▓ Tiefe - nur schwarz/weiß ▓ Druckformat - A4, Landschaftsmodus

QR-Code-Richtlinien: ▓ alle Arten von QR- und Strichcodes ▓ lesbar in gängigen mobilen Anwendungen ▓ angehängte Daten, Beispiel: Links, Text, Bilder ▓ wir lieben individuelle Gestaltung und freie Änderungen (siehe Punkt oben)

Weitere Infos: ▓ Blog: https://nfcdab.org/ ▓ fb-Seite: https://www.facebook.com/nfcdab/ ▓ offene fb-Gruppe: https://web.facebook.com/groups/1nfcdabiennale/

#nfcdab #nfc art #biennale #digital #art #digital art biennale #internet #open call

[a-reality-dream]

Mmm they put website 7 days ago with almost full line up so i dont think its fake (event tho the tickest go from eventim only, no livenation) and miles hasnt added this to his tour dates but bielsko biała??? Im sure its lovely but u have a perfectly functional Kraków (or Katowice) above with good train connection

Also i think the universe is trying to tell me sth bc i fucked up with Berlin tickets but 15th may is on wednesday and i dont think im gonna get a free day bc at accounting we close months till 20th and theres just tone of work???

[ddrmuseum]

Gestern vor 32 Jahren wurde der letzte Wartburg im VEB Automobilwerk Eisenach gefertigt. Wir zeigen euch die Vorderseite einer Medaille des VEB Automobilwerk Eisenach mit der Aufschrift »1 Million Automobile – Typ Wartburg«. Auf dem Kennzeichen ist das Datum 30.04.1981 vermerkt. Die Rückseite der Medaille seht ihr auf unserer Facebook-Seite oder in der Onlinedatenbank auf unserer Website. 32 years ago yesterday, the last Wartburg was produced at the VEB Automobilwerk Eisenach. We would like to show you the front of a medal of the VEB Automobilwerk Eisenach with the inscription »1 Million Cars – Type Wartburg«. The date 30.04.1981 is written on the plate. You can see the back of the medal on our Facebook page or in the online database on our website. #ddrmuseum #ddr #gdr #museum #berlin #wartburg #oldtimer #vintagecar #medal #medaille — view on Instagram https://ift.tt/qNpg09b

#Instagram #IFTTT

[redbus2germany]

Moving To Germany – Part 1

We know that you want to move to Germany. There are a lot of people who follow their desire to move to Germany for many reasons. These reasons could be anything like pursuing love, living in a place with a higher quality of life, getting a benefit of a unique education system, and getting an education without paying thousands of euros in tuition fees. It also could discover a new culture.

Table of Content

Eight Things To Prepare Before Moving To Germany

Find a Job or Get a German University Enrollment

Get Health Insurance

Apply For Visa On Time

Book Your Flight Tickets In Advance

Find A Place To Live In Germany

Get An Appointment To Register

Look For Which Bank You Want To Use

Start Learning The Basic German Language

Eight Things To Prepare Before Moving To Germany

You must be thinking about how you can make this happen. In this article, we will talk about eight steps that explain how to move to Germany as a foreigner. You will get eight things to take care of before moving to Germany.

Find a Job or Get a German University Enrollment

The best way to prepare for your move to Germany is to find a job or enroll at a German university. It depends on your nationality; however, it is the most hassle-free way for you to move and stay legally in Germany.

Foreigners moving to Germany from other EU countries such as Canada, the US, New Zealand, Australia, Israel, Japan, or the Republic of Korea, may visit Germany as a tourist and start job hunting. Later they can apply for a work and residence permit from within Germany.

The expats who hold a different nationality except the ones listed above can apply for the job seeker visa. It allows you to stay six months in Germany to find a job.

The people who are graduates and skilled professionals from Non-EU countries may apply for the blue card visa in Germany. The blue card is a quick entrance to Germany and the EU and a work permit for up to four years.

Get Health Insurance

One primary requirement to get a German visa is to opt for health insurance the German government accepts. You can sign up for German health insurance if you already have a job.

Suppose you are planning to find a job after arriving in Germany or want to work as a freelancer. Then you can opt for expat health insurance for your visa. It works as temporary health insurance for the time being. You can look for employment and decide which health insurance is best for you. Moreover, you can refer to our article on insurance in Germany to get information about other additional insurances.

Apply For Visa On Time

The waiting time for the visa application range from one to four months. It depends on your home country and the type of visa you want to apply for. That’s why you should check for your visa requirements in advance. You should apply for a German visa three months before your planned departure date to get the passport and visa back on time.

Book Your Flight Tickets In Advance

Your flight ticket booking should depend on the city where you found a job or university. It also depends on where you plan to job hunt and ensure to fly to the nearest international airport. Every big city has its airport. The three largest ones are in Berlin, Munich, and Frankfurt.

You should note that most airlines allow you to travel with one checked bag weighing up to twenty-three kgs. You should book in advance if you are planning on taking an additional bag. 

Find A Place To Live In Germany

You should find a place to stay before you arrive in Germany. If you have an apartment already, select one in Germany that will ease your life. It will allow you to register your home after your arrival. You can check many furnished apartment rental websites such as Homelike.

Get An Appointment To Register

Once you arrive in Germany, registering your accommodation is the most important thing. Most of the cities in Germany require you to do so within the first two weeks of your arrival.

In Germany, the registration process is known as Anmeldung. The process is that you present yourself to a government office and register your address. By following this process, you are letting them know there is a new resident in the city.

The address registration typically takes fifteen minutes. Once you complete the process, you will get a critical piece of paper. This important document will help you get German services such as opening a bank account and contacting an internet service for your apartment.

Look For Which Bank You Want To Use

Once you arrive in Germany, you should look for which bank you want to use. You can refer to our articles opening a bank account and bank account comparison to get the suitable choice for you. Your employer will ask for a German bank account to credit your salary. That’s why it is a crucial thing to do.

Opening a bank account depends on where you live in Germany. You can open a bank account from abroad by using mobile bank services. Suppose you want to use the services of a traditional private German bank such as Commerzbank. In that case, you can open a bank account once you are in Germany.

Moreover, you can choose the money transfer services before moving to Germany. It will help you wire transfers from your foreign bank account to Germany. You should avoid using a regular bank because their bank fees are very high. You can choose Wise, which is a fully digital and modern provider. It offers the real exchange rate without any increased charges.

Start Learning The Basic German Language

If you are still not good at speaking German, you can move, live and work in Germany. However, there are a lot of benefits to speaking and understanding the German language. There is no doubt that the German language is challenging. If you are new to this great and beautiful country, do not expect to speak German fluently during the first few months. Sometimes it takes years to be proficient.

It would help if you took the time to learn some essential German words and sayings before moving to Germany. Here in Germany, the natives do not mind speaking English. These days there are a lot of resources available to learn the basics of German. However, the best way is to actively use the language and get direct feedback from a professional teacher. Lingoda is one of the online language schools, and they have small classes and great flexibility.

Conclusion

We hope you are clear about what to do before moving to Germany. We assure you that you will happily follow these steps and make them happen. In the beginning, moving to Germany might be a long and complicated process. But if you have clear criteria for what to do before moving, then it will ease your life. Now we will proceed to the next part of moving to Germany. Here we will talk about the essential things you need to do once you are in Germany.

Originally published at - https://redbus2germany.com/moving-to-germany-part-1/

#Insurance in Germany #Moving to Germany

[toshodai]

A selection of photos Izumi-san took while visiting the library of Saint Florian Monastery, a religious complex originally constructed during the ninth century in an Upper Austrian town of the same name. Its library wing wasn't built during the original construction, instead erected shortly after it's Baroque remodeling in the sixteenth century.

It's not far-fetched to infer that Izumi-san used the monastery library as a basis for the Central Library, as many of the architectural features seen in these photos can be seen all over the manga, particularly so in this spread from chapter 8:

Per the monastery's website:

The Monastery library belongs to the most ancient and most impressive ones in Austria. The gorgeous main hall in late-Baroque impresses by the mighty bookshelves that practically isolate the sphere of the spirit. The colourful ceiling fresco (1747) by Bartolomeo Altomonte (figures) and by Antonio Tassi (architectural painting) shows the marriage of virtue and science under protection of the religion. The Monastery library possesses a total number of 150,000 volumes out of which 108,000 volumes (60,000 titles) date back before 1900. 952 titles (i.e. 1.6 per cent) are incunables. 35,443 volumes (59.2 per cent) originate from the 16th to the 18th century, while 23,493 volumes (39.2 per cent) come from the 19th century. 800 medieval handscripts present the most precious treasure. Four showcases in the main hall contain approx. 50 volumes and 600 sheets of cartography from the 16th to the 20th century. They mostly deal with geography, but also genealogy, heraldic and war history. The exlibris collection comprises 253 sheets. The oldest exlibris pieces originate from the first half of the 16th century. In 1930, the Monastery library bought the literary remains of Rudolf Geyer (1861-1929), a Viennese orientalist. Still 20 years later, this collection was considered the most comprehensive one in Arabic literature between Berlin and Rome. Meanwhile, about a third of Geyer's books is indexed.

#izumi-san's travels #influences #volume 2 #magus of the library #toshokan no daimajutsushi #manga #library

[dorothea-wieck]

Christa Winsloe's gift to Hertha Thiele

Re: previous post from the same day.

PRE-STORY

Less than a day ago, (probably in relation to #Sylvia und Sybille) the post's poster had remembered that Christa Winsloe gave Hertha Thiele a book with an inscription. It was shared by Thiele in her 1981 interview.

The wrong idea was that it was one of Chris' published books. The post's poster thought that the translated version of the interview vanished as its page was empty (had an error or something) some time last year (or even durning several attempts to access it.)

The thought that didn't turn into actions was to just look for all Chris' books to try to understand which one it could be.

Finally, the idea was to try to open English translated version of the interview. It is there :D :D :D

THE INTERVIEW (English): http://tlweb.latrobe.edu. au/humanities/screeningthepast/reruns/thiele.html   (DELETE SPACE)

After short time, the idea was to save the interview. Screenshots or to copy and paste somewhere weren't very appealing, so . . . Wayback Machine (also known as Internet Archives, i.e. cached copies of pages of websites as they looked at the time of saving there.) And . . . it IS there since 2015. The post's poster did it, but forgot completely.

https://web.archive. org/web/20151004000000*/http://tlweb.latrobe.edu.au:80/humanities/screeningthepast/reruns/thiele.html    (DELETE SPACE)

To access, find a date with a blue circle (there are three, 2015) or click at either the beginning or end date above the calendar.

■■■

SEARCH RESULT INSIDE OF THE INTERVIEW (THE BOOK'S TITLE.)

"I still have a book, The ten year old's love (Die Liebe der Zehnjährigen) bearing a personal dedication from Christa Winsloe, which she gave to me after the theatre premiere." (NOTE: As it is about Berlin, it's 1932 stage version with not only Thiele, but at least also with Hedwig Schlichter as Fräulein von Kesten. (See THIS post for Frl. von Kesten on stage https://dorothea-wieck.tumblr.com/post/656343966970757120)

Results via Google related to the book had nothing interesting, as well as somewhere where the book might be accessed for downloading. Nearly the same Google search didn't give even a short summary. (No matter with the author's full name or without, in German or English (the title), with the word buch or without etc.) HOWEVER, THE BOOK CAN BE BOUGHT :)

BUT it had already turned into a quick research and then . . . a site with the reason why the search was impossible apart from the book's title on various websites.

(English text is thanks to Google Chrome automatic translation.)

Source of the information (if the reader of the post wants to check): https://www.berlin. de/berlin-im-ueberblick/geschichte/berlin-im-nationalsozialismus/verbannte-buecher/suche/index.php/detail/5033    (DELETE SPACE)

■■■

WHY THIS EXACT BOOK AS THE GIFT.

The book Die Liebe der Zehnjährigen (The Ten Year Old's Love (maybe The Ten-Years-Old's Love as it is grammatically correct) was banned by the fascist party. Why? Undoubtedly (even judging only by the gender-neutral title no, it's a masculine word*, thanks to https://www.online-translator. com/conjugation%20and%20declination/german/j%C3%A4hrig  (DELETE SPACE)) it's about same-sex love (two boys or a boy and a lad/man.)

* The explanation is that the word "järigen" is second declension(al?) form, which means possession. In English, it's shown by "of" or " 's " (The Love of Ten-Year-Old or The Ten-Year-Old's Love.)

 As the gift, the book has meaning. It's Chris' one more attempt to convey her feelings to Hertha into something less obvious than a note about a lot of kisses that weren't accepted by Thiele. A ten-year-old doesn't have any adult feelings, they're pure in every meaning of the word. They're definitely not about bed-sharing with all what can follow. The title is the hint about Chris' romantic personality, not the adult part of the feelings. (One-sided huge love is sooo sad, poor Chris.) At least, HT kept the book even nearly 5 decades later (since 1932? to 1981.) 

■

SOMETHING ABOUT THE BOOK.

If look at one of results, AbeBooks (the site from where the book can be bought) . . .

LINK https://www.abebooks. com/first-edition/Liebe-Zehnj%C3%A4hrigen-Roman-Milde-Hedwig-S/31084242219/bd   (DELETE SPACE)

Somehow, here it has 234 pages, which is far from 96.

In description about the book (its conditions etc.) there's so called excerpt, "Und wir umarmten uns und küssten uns wie toll." (ENDE des Romans)" ("And we hugged and kissed like mad." (END of novel.))

Therefore, unless, it's about +/- the same aged people, 10-years-old is only in the beginning (no matter which amount of the novel it occupies), and then the child grows up to older age (unknown which) and kisses follow, but still, it's only like Chris' note about a lot of kisses that keeps the feelings PG-13. Unlike the note, there are pages upon pages to show Chris' love.

■

Based on the link about the word's forms, feminine version for year-old's is jähriger. Time: 1932. Who: Chris (a 43 year-old woman.) Therefore, the version would be Die Liebe die Dreiundvierzigjähriger.

■■■

A. *A talented, very romantic, beautiful woman is courting a woman, but no success* B. The woman's fan(s) who is (are) woman (women) too: To be in such a situation, nearly exact situation (better situation in the World, please and thank you) ♡♡♡

(It turned out to be a mini article, sorry.)

#Christa Winsloe #Hertha Thiele #1930's #1930s #interview #gift #long post

[sunburnacoustic]

Muse on Tour!

Scandinavia will be the first to see Muse's new material live, later this year, when the band will start their extensive tour around Europe. Dates have been booked starting in October, to be posted on this site in full as soon as all are confirmed. Live dates already pencilled into the Muse diary are set to start in Helsinki for two nights, then on to Stockholm, Oslo, Copenhagen, Hamburg, Munich, Berlin, into Italy, France, Belgium, Holland and back to Britain in late November. Many more cities and countries shall be added to this early tour schedule so check back soon for more updates.

Muse In LA!

Having returned from the beautiful surroundings of Grouse lodge in Central Ireland where the band have been recording indoors, outside, in swimming pools and using instruments that don't even have names yet, they have gone over to the West Coast to polish off a few tracks, lay down the vocals and mix the album with Rich Costey.

New Activity Page!

Check out the new page on the site with some video clips of the making of the new album, as well as photos of muse from the last year and a tour archive too! This page will be frequently updated so stay tuned for more bits and pieces updated in the very near future.

Muse album in progress

Muse are currently in the middle of making their third album with the producer Rich Costey. Having spent a few weeks in Air Studios (London), as well as a stint recording in Sawmills, the band are presently organising where to finish off the rest of the record. L.A., Vancouver and Ireland seem to be the current possibilities. Expect to hear some new tracks during summer with the release date of the album set towards autumn.

From the archives: muse-official.com, the old Muse website from April 2003, during the recording of Absolution with Rich Costey in LA (16/4/2003)

#there's a nicer version on Musewiki thankfully. what on earth is that background image on the archive of the muse website! #Surely a placeholder image #from the archives #Muse lore #recording of Absolution #Muse band #Muse #Absolution Muse

[merrellholland]

Silent and Tired → t.holland

A/N: Hey everyone! A little late to the party, but decided to do an angsty one-shot for Tom's birthday hehe.. enjoy

Word Count: 2.5k

--

In just five days, Tom Holland the famous Spider-Man actor would no longer be 25 years of age, but instead 26. You’ve known Tom for almost six years and counting. You first met him at an after party of the Spider-Man Homecoming premiere, and from that moment on you two just instantly clicked. But over the years, you’ve realized that you have developed feelings for the British boy. Everything about him was just perfect. But of course before you even got the courage to tell him about this, he had already started to get into a relationship with his co-star, Zendaya. 

Now you had nothing against Zendaya, she’s beyond gorgeous, has a great charisma, smart, kind, and an absolute Goddess. Ever since Zendaya got casted to play the role of Peter Parker’s love interest, MJ, everyone had started to ship Tom and Zendaya. Everyone could see them dating and making each other happy and content. After a while, you had decided to ignore your romantic feelings for Tom and hide them deep down where nobody would ever get a hint. 

The situation has been like this for approximately two years, when Tom and Zendaya had decided to put their relationship out to the public. They definitely did break the internet, everyone was happy, even you. If you truly loved someone, you would want them to be happy. Seeing Tom with Zendaya was heartbreaking at first. But you’ve learnt to be happy for them, your feelings for Tom shouldn’t get in the way of him being happy. Whenever Tom’s with Zendaya, you’ve noticed that his mood always brightens like she was the sun to his universe. 

Zendaya wanted Tom to have the best birthday party, so she invited everyone who was close to Tom and made you a co-planner with her. The two of you would order many decorations on various websites and have six different packages on the front of Tom and Zendaya’s apartment. Tom was still in Berlin so he wasn’t aware of the packages. Planning Tom’s birthday with Zendaya was extremely fun and exciting and you couldn’t wait for Tom’s reaction to all of the preparation. 

Finally after three days, Tom had arrived in L.A and unlocked the door to his shared apartment. The second he entered the apartment, Zendaya dropped the book she was reading and set down her coffee mug and ran up to Tom, engulfing him in a hug. Tom started laughing, almost crying as it was an emotional moment. 

“AHHH I missed you so much!” Zendaya said to Tom. 

“I missed you too darling” Tom said to her while laughing. 

They laughed at each other and shared a long awaited kiss, both of them happy. 

–

Back in your apartment, you were aware that Tom had reached L.A but decided not to say anything to him yet. You wanted him to relax a little and spend some time with just Zendaya. Plus, you had a tinder date. 

You tried to put yourself out there, tired of feeling lonely and wanting to have someone love you and have late night chats with. But all the dates you’ve been on always went in three directions. 

One: Since you were considered a Youtube celebrity, with over ten million subscribers, people would only go on dates with you for the clout. So that they could be in your videos and have a sprinkle of fame. 

Two: They were a complete douche bag who just wanted to have meaningless sex with you so that they can tell everyone they had slept with a Youtube star. 

Three: They talked about themselves for the whole entire date, making you just sit there in the restaurant, nodding your head and silently eating your meal. 

You were hoping that this date would be different, not a repeat of the last previous 15 dates, yes you were counting. You got ready by putting on your makeup, fixing your hair, and you had decided to wear a long elegant black dress with a slit. 

Thirty minutes later, you arrived at the restaurant and took a seat at your reserved table. You started off with an appetizer, bread and olive oil, while you were waiting for your date, Tyler. On his profile, he looked like the typical frat boy but you didn’t want to judge a guy based on what he puts on a tinder profile. You waited for approximately another hour and forty minutes for him, but still no sign of Tyler. 

The manager of the restaurant had taken pity on you, and decided not to charge you for the bread and olive oil. You thanked the manager and left the place, you felt like your cheeks were burning from the amount of embarrassment you were feeling. 

As you drove back to your apartment, you immediately took off your heels and tied your hair into a messy bun, not caring about the delicate curls in your hair that took you hours to perfect. You walked to your bathroom and quickly wiped off your makeup with makeup wipes, attempting to bottle up your emotions so that the tears from your eyes wouldn’t spread the mascara to other places on your face. You changed into some sweatpants and a random shirt you found sitting in your closet. 

As you came out of the bathroom, you entered the living room. Like always, it was pin drop silent. The only thing you could hear was the cars driving by your apartment complex. You decided to turn on the T.V in order for some sound to be produced, but it doesn’t feel the same as having some company. You ended up sinking into the couch and let out all your emotions. 

You didn’t control the sobs coming out, the tears streaming down your face making your vision blurry, your breathing becomes uneven. You were sick of having to come home to a silent environment, you were just tired of it all. 

— 

You slowly wake up, the sunlight shining on your face. You’ve noticed that you are still curled up on the couch, as you slowly get up from your fetal position. Your bones start to crack and your head has a massive headache. As you adjust to the lighting of a new day, your phone starts to ring. You pick up your phone, seeing that Zendaya was calling you. 

“Hello?” You ask as you answer the phone. 

“Hey Y/N! I’ve taken Tom out on our lunch date and all the decorations are in my closet at our apartment so if you could use the spare key and decorate everything? So that way when we come back it will be an ultimate surprise!” Zendaya said in an exciting tone. 

You glance over at the clock hanging on your wall, the time was 11:30 AM. You then stifle a yawn, “Yeah I can come over, I’ll use the spare key you gave me and then just text me when you're on your way back. Don’t worry Z, I got everything under control.” You respond . 

“Great, I'll see you later then!” Zendaya said. 

“Yep, see you later” you say and then end the call. 

You slowly get up from the couch, making your knees pop. You slowly walk towards the bathroom to freshen up. You look at yourself in the mirror, the oversized shirt engulfing you while your eyes were puffy and bloodshot, your hair equivalent to a bird's nest. You sighed and turned on the faucet to wash your face. You then brush your teeth and take a warm and relaxing shower. After that, you comb out your hair, gently getting two strands of your hair from both sides and pinning it to the back of your head. Finally, changing into some black mom jeans and a black short sleeved shirt.  

You then left your quiet apartment in order to go to another apartment filled with silence. The only difference was that the apartment that you were going to was temporarily silent while yours was almost always silent. 

—

You finally reached their apartment and unlocked the door with the spare key that Zendaya gave to you. You looked around, observing how the apartment looked. You set your stuff and your gift for Tom on the kitchen counter. 

As you were walking around the place, looking for the bedroom, you couldn’t help but start to feel a pang of jealousy as you looked around. Wait-what? No, you can’t be jealous of them. Tom’s never going to like you in that romantic way, there’s no sense in envying their relationship. You have to be happy for them, you must be happy for them. This is what everyone wanted, for them to be together.  

You looked down, trying to avoid tears spilling on your face. You put your finger out in front of your face and caught a single tear drop that would’ve fallen on the floor if you wouldn’t have caught it. You then looked up, trying not to let anymore tears come out. After you composed yourself, you finally found the bedroom. 

You entered the room and walked in the walk-in closet. You saw a big cardboard box labeled, “Tom’s special day <3” You assumed that this was the box containing all the decorations. You carried out the box from the closet and as you were leaving the room, you couldn’t help but notice the framed picture on the bed side table. The picture seemed to be a film picture of Zendaya kissing Tom’s cheek while they were in a trailer, pressumbily for a Spider-Man movie. The both of them seemed to be happy around each other, the joy in Tom’s eyes was a sight for sore eyes. 

That’s what did it for you. Your heart starts to break, the feeling of your stomach dropping, your eyes getting watery yet again, the insecurities getting to your mind. You bit your lip while looking at it one last time before leaving the room. 

You set the box down in the middle of the living room and opened it up. There were banners, balloons, birthday paper plates and cups, and much more. So there you were, setting up their living room with every single piece of decoration that was inside the box. 

Once you were done with decorating the place, you decided to text everyone in the group chat that you made for Tom’s birthday to come over to the apartment. After around twenty minutes, the first couple of guests had arrived, Harrison, Tuwaine, Harry, and Sam. They were visiting from London and obviously couldn’t say no to Tom’s surprise party. You welcomed them inside, informing them that Zendaya and Tom were out on a lunch date and that they would come back soon. They nodded and set down their gifts on the kitchen counter, next to yours. 

Soon, more and more guests arrived and were getting ready to surprise Tom. As the anticipation of Zendaya and Tom’s arrival was increasing, you got a text message from Zendaya that they were in the garage of the apartment complex. 

You took a deep breath in as you looked at the text, you then announced, “Alright everyone! They’re going to be here any moment now! So everyone put on the party hats and turned off all the lights!” You exclaim to everyone. 

They all nodded and started to gather up at the center of the living room while you made sure to set up your phone somewhere so that you could get Tom’s reaction on video. Finally all the lights were turned off, and the apartment was pin drop silent. But you liked this silence, knowing that there were people surrounding you. 

You then heard the keys jingle as the door was slowly unlocking. As the lights turned on, you all yelled, “Surprise!!”

Tom flinched but then his eyes widened in shock and awe, all the people he loved in one place. “O-Oh my– Wow this is just– wow I have no words!” he says, still in shock. 

Everyone started to laugh, then Tom turned to Zendaya, “Did you do all of this for me?” he asked with joy in his eyes. 

Zendaya laughs at him, “Yes I did, but I also had Y/N help me.” She says while pointing in your direction, as you were front and center in the group. 

You laughed, “I’m just glad I caught this all on video!” you said to them with a smile on your face, even though deep down inside you felt like the opposite of a smile. But you did a pretty damn good job of hiding it. 

Tom laughs and smiles at you, causing butterflies to erupt in your stomach. “I literally don’t know what to say Y/N, thank you” he says genuinely while giving you a tight hug. 

You cherished this moment, his hands wrapped around your waist while your hands were trapped around his abdomen. You treasured this moment that you had with him, as he hugged you in a friendly way while you hugged him like your life depended on it. Because you were sure that this was probably going to be the last interaction you’re going to have with him in some time. 

— 

Hours passed, the party was slowly dying down and everyone was starting to leave. Tom had just finished opening up his gifts and thanking everyone for attending. You decided to stay a little in order to help clean up the place. 

The three of you were cleaning up the place, then Tom approached you, holding out a garbage bag so that you could throw in all the plastic red cups that you collected. He smiled at you while you smiled back at him. 

You throw the cups in the bag, “Thanks for the gift by the way” he says.

You smile at him, “Of course, it seemed like the perfect gift” you say to him. 

You gifted Tom the official Spider-Man golf balls, you knew he would love it and you were right. 

“I didn’t even know that these existed, I’m definitely going to be using them on the golf course” He says to you with joy in eyes. But you knew that it was joy from the platonic relationship between you two. 

You smile again at him again and start to gather all of your things since the living room was all clean. Zendaya came back from the bedroom as she was taking all the decorations down and putting them back in the box and storing them in the closet. You bid your goodbyes to both Tom and Zendaya and then left their apartment.

As you walked to your car, you couldn’t help but notice that you longed for a relationship like Tom and Zendaya. If you would’ve just admitted your feelings towards Tom, things could have possibly been different. Maybe it could have been you who shared an apartment with Tom, the one who took him out on a lunch date. You were sick of being alone and always being the third wheel to everyone. You just wanted something special like what they have. Maybe one day, you think to yourself.

#tom holland x reader #tom holland oneshot #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland x zendaya #tom holland x y/n x zendaya #tom holland x platonic!reader #tom holland angst zendaya #i love zendaya #queen zendaya #tom holland angsty fic #tom holland one shot #merrell holland

[herrlindemann]

2004 Clipping

After Rammstein had completely disappeared for more than a year, they are now back. On June 2nd and 3rd, the guys around singer Till Lindemann shot the video for the next single “Mein Teil” in Berlin. The release of the song, which is about Armin Meiwes, the “Cannibal of Rotenburg” convicted in January 2004, was originally planned for June 28. But "due to controversial discussions with the record company", according to the band on their website, the release date was pushed back to the end of July/beginning of August. The date for the studio album shouldn't change. It is expected to be called "Reise, Reise", will be available from September 20th and will contain the following songs: "Reise, Reise", "Amerika", "Los", "Wo bist du", "Mein Teil", "Daila Lama" , "Keine Lust", "Morgenstern", and "Amore". Overall, the band's music has become heavier, but still gives melodic vocal passages. Guitarist Paul Landers describes it like this: “We tried to embed the vocals even more into the music!” By the way, there is a big surprise on the long awaited album: For the first time, Rammstein not only sing in German, but also perform some parts in Russian and English!

#Rammstein #Till Lindemann #Paul Landers #Oliver Riedel #Flake Lorenz #Christoph Schneider #Richard Kruspe #2004 #translation #* #*scans

[evabritt]

A Night With My New Sugar Daddy

The past week has been strange, to say the least. One night I got really high and made a Seeking Arrangements profile, mostly out of boredom. This website is mega sad. There's no way of avoiding that. It's mostly a run-of-the-mill Pre-Tinder dating website, ala Christian Mingle. The different part is that men fill out their income and net worth, with descriptions like “discrete” and “no strings attached”. My profile has no photos of my head, just my body. Totally degrading anti-feminist meat market stuff. I have a photo Maria took of me at North Ave. Beach, right before I left. I cropped my head out. One time I showed a guy at a beer garden in Munich the picture and he went, “What? That's you?”. He was very impressed. I hope. Don't worry, I’m not that much of a slut- I have “private” photos only men of my approval may see. I told Talulah about it and she suggested we do it together. So now we’re sugar babies, sorta. I text with the men and once they seem well adjusted I propose that I have a friend who is “interested in this type of arrangement”. Then they ask for a photo. Talulah doesn’t like having pictures of her taken, a belief we share. So, I send them one I took of her in my kitchen. In the photo, she is gazing blankly at the camera, trying to hold back laughter. 

Talulah has accidentally become one of my closest friends. I feel like I’m in a movie when I’m with her. She's genetically cool. She grew up in Brooklyn surrounded by a carousel of artists that lived in her parent's spare room. She frequently launches into long tales about her mythical apartment. Once, she said, someone got married in it. Another story involved a group of Romanian folk dancers who were entrenched in a love triangle. Talulah has beautiful naturally bright blonde hair and amazing bangs. She doesn't even blow dry them. I’m so jealous. If I don't follow a diligent multi-step hair routine, I look like I grew up in an isolated forest and have never seen humans before. Talulah owns an insane amount of jeans but insists that she wears all of them equally. She likes really dark chocolate and peanut butter. She drinks a lot of wine. I feel so special when she wants to spend time with me; we do a lot together too. I think that Talulah is the type of girl guys get obsessed with. At clubs her eyes dart from person to person, occasionally stopping at mine. It looks like she's hunting. She dances a bit like a belly dancer. She moves fluidly, a stark contrast from the typical techno dancing of Berlin. I accept that I follow her around like a puppy. In all my past friendships, I always felt like the one pulling the strings. (An Effy and Pandora from Skins relationship ). But with Talulah I just sit back and let her find the fun. Ive but a lot of faith into her. I find myself spending so much time with her, more than any friend before. This is so exciting for me. Ive always wondered about this type of friendship. It’s a sort of exceptional bond that Ive only seen in movies, or the TV show skins. We made pancakes together once. Shell often break out into song and dance in front of me. This makes me feel awkward. Its so romantic but in this unnerving uncanny way. It doesn’t feel real, like Im a character in a movie. 

The problem looming over our friendship is that we have to have sex together. While we were looking at my account, we laughed really hard. I think we were laughing at the sad absurdity of this get-rich-quick scheme. But we laughed really hard when it hit us that we’d have to fuck each other. Well, at least it took a moment to hit me. We promised that we would set time aside to practice. We even considered asking our lesbian friends for help with the matter. Im writing this a week after the events of this post and since then, we’ve made out twice. It was pretty sexy, cant lie. We were both fucked up at a club. I feel really awkward making out with someone on a dance floor. Especially kissing another very straight looking woman. It feels very tacky, attention seeking. But Talulah  likes it, I think or at least doesn’t share my shame. 

Anyway, back to our adventures: I met this guy on Seeking, his username is Apocalypse Now Later. His bio said he's an artist. He had some of his art on his profile; my mom would hate it. It looks a bit like Target art. Lots of abstract  graphic blobs. Blobs shaped like buildings, naked women, and clubs. Some of the blobs were painted colors. Truly sensational. He was attractive, though, which is rare for the website. We planned to meet up with all three of us. I suggested a really expensive bar in Prenzlauer Berg. When we got there he was talking at the table behind him about the events he hosts. I stalked his facebook and knew that he hosts a Hebrew language reading/performance/show/I don’t really know what it is. Some kind of event where people go and look at their acquaintances do funny little shows or hang up blobby artwork on the wall. His outfit reminded me of something a boy my age would wear. He had on a loose patterned top, reminiscent of the 70s, over that was a similarly patterned black blazer. I think he dressed up for us. He might have had a scarf on but I can't remember. We sat down and immediately learned that his money does not come from art but in fact, from drugs; weed specifically, he grows and sells his own. He told us he grows around 3 kilos of weed a month. He grows weed in all his friend apartments. So, he is frequently just hanging out in other peoples apartments. I’m sure he gets a little money from his art, but no way is it enough to support the likely massive drug habit he has. Personally, I value an entrepreneurial spirit. Owning your own business is hard, especially an illegal one. Being a weed man requires, networking skills, organization, a vast knowledge of botany; It’s not easy work. 

We learned that his name is Barak, he is from Israel, he is 40, was married for 9 years, currently, he has a partner, and they've been together for 4 years. 40 is really old, older than Uwe. 40 is double my entire life. He was my age in 1996. It’s also strange to be on a three-way date. At first, I felt like he liked Talulah more than me; she's prettier than me and just has this indescribable ethereal quality. (I mean that in a platonic way). But then I recited Israeli history to him like an autistic robot and I think that really charmed him. He kept telling me I was the funniest person he's ever met. If that is true, he must have had a boring past 40 years. We smoked two joints with him. He got into a tiff the owner of the bar about his weed. We stepped out to smoke the first joint. When we came back the man asked us if we were enjoying everything and then very politely asked us to walk across the street if we were going to smoke more. He said it was to be considerate of the neighbors. For whatever reason Barak insisted that it was not weed we smoked, but CBD, that he bought from the store down the road. For someone so brazen with weed smoking it was strange how annoyed he got, you would think this was a common occurrence. Or maybe be it annoyed him so much he gets angrier every time. I bet the latter.

We also did coke with him. It was my first time trying coke, it wasn't what I thought it was going to be like. It made my teeth feel tight, like when you put your retainer on for the first time in months. It also leaves a gross taste in the back of your throat. Damn you sinus  system; always fucking shit up. Otherwise, I guess it’s a nice activity to do at a club. The drama of filing into a bathroom and preforming that intricate cocaine ritual. Immediately after he snorted his line, I asked him if he supports a two-state solution. It seems like he probably doesn't but I can tell he has some Israeli-guilt about it. He agreed when I said, “Too bad about Palestine”, so he’s at least a bit emphatic. Honestly, I can’t believe my luck. This is maybe the greatest thing thats ever happened to me. I feel like I’ve found my Berlin-fairy-Godfather. Who else can say they just walked into the most profitable relationship of their life? This is a reward from some higher power. I am Grateful! Thank you! 

A couple of days later, Talulah and I were with him in Neukölln at his friend's apartment. An Italian-American hermit from Georgia named Nick owned the apartment; he's a chef that works with Irish people. I actually met him sometime after this night. (The context of that story is so bleak: I lost 4 molly pills and had to go crawling to him to get 4 more, long story). His been in Berlin for 11 years but miraculously sounds like a black teenager from Atlanta. It’s a beautiful sight. The apartment was very well-lit but almost completely barren. He had no table, just a small sofa. He had a computer desk and used a vintage trunk as a quasi-bench/dining room table. His kitchen was mechanical. He had no stove, just a hot plate. And only one set of cutlery, the universal mark of a terminally alone bachelor. Though, he had a large and impressive record collection. This time felt notably different than the last time. Barak was quieter, less suave, and more awkward. He was dressed tamer. He wore an intentionally garish patterned button up but toned it down with a black sweater. For pants, he had on simple khakis. He looked sort of like the sexy kind of history teacher. This time felt weirdly un-intimate like we were hanging out in an IKEA display. It wasn’t any of our homes, I felt like an intruder. The three-person part feels strange when one person leaves to go to the bathroom or leaves because there's a “client” downstairs. (When I was first texting with Barak, I thought his “clients' ' were art clients, they are in fact not that type of client). When Talulah left to pee there was a weird silence between us. Like two 12 year olds assigned to a group project. He emphatically- yet awkwardly- asked me how I was. I responded and probably spun into some complaint or general grievance to fill the silence. I wonder what Barak and Talulah talked about while I was peeing. Probably about how she was.  

We ordered Indian food and ate it on the floor. It was pretty good but I got too nervous to eat, the most persisting trait from my days with a light eating disorder. I cant eat in-front of people, especially men. Its really stupid and annoying. It makes me look so dumb, when Im the only friend not eating. As always, can of worms for another day. Around 10, Talulah said she needed to go because she had class tomorrow. An early class is maybe the greatest excuse of all time. Actually, class at anytime is the best excuse. (Pro Tip: If you want to flake on someone at a time when you logically wouldn’t  have class, like a Friday  night, say you have to attend a special lecture or moving screening or someone other bull shit art fest your fake liberal arts college sends you do in lieu of real assignments) He then invited us to a club and said that he got us all on the guest list. I personally believe that it's important to take the opportunities life blesses you with. So, I put up a bit of resistance, mostly for show. “I really should be going soon, I have class tomorrow blah blah blah”. But ultimately, I agreed to go out with him. One thing about me is that no daytime engagement has ever stopped me from going out. I was excited at the idea of going somewhere on the guest list. It made me feel very fancy, like I was part of some inner circle. 

When we got to the club there was no line. The bouncers took his name and showed us inside. The guest list didn’t  get us in for free, he still had to pay a “reduced  free”. The guest list isn’t  some exclusive social club, its basically a rewards card. He seemed surprised that he had to pay. We went through the hassle  of getting our bags “searched” and our cameras covered. This felt very humiliating. The lights were so bright and I felt awkward. Mostly because I was aware the staff might be thinking we look weird together. I remember one time a couple came into the restaurant I worked at. The man was maybe in his 50s and the woman was probably my age now. She was wearing a lot of pink and a playboy necklace . Another waitress and I tried to figure out if she was his date or daughter. Now, I am that girl. Thankfully we don’t look alike. God, maybe that makes it weirder then, because its obvious we are not a father and daughter enjoying some wholesome clubbing. He said he has been going to this club since it opened in 2014. I refrained from telling him that I was 11 in 2014. Berlin is definitely the best city in the world for clubbing yet clubs can be really uncreative in their interior design choices. Berlin clubs are either warehouse-themed or circus themed. This one was the ladder. Personally, I like a warehouse more than Cirque du Soleil. It’s way edgier. He led me to the bathroom and we did more coke; snorting drugs with a 40-year-old in a bathroom stall might be a sign that I’m not making the best choices. We sat on couches in a room next to the dance floor. He seems to be really charmed by my occasional spurts of autism. I told him how much I love drugs to which he responded by giving me 2cb or tusi. It seems to be just a random mix of other drugs, namely molly, ketamine, and LSD. He made me read the Wikipedia page beforehand, which is considerate, I guess. It wasn't as strong as I thought it was going to be. The visuals were mild, but the body sensations were strong. Whenever I take a psychedelic, I use the view of my hand as a gauge of the quality of drug. The club was, in its design, pretty trippy. There was a large replica  of three Greek goddesses in the center of the room. With murals of chaotic scenes plastered on the walls. He was biting my ear and I felt an all-over tingling. The Wikipedia pages described it as “pins and needles”, which makes it sound like a bad thing. But the feeling was really good, good enough to make me forget that I am not really attracted to the 40-year-old kissing me. While we were making out, I wondered again what the people around us thought. Maybe this is a normal sight for 3 am at a club. But I couldn't shake the feeling that people were watching. Maybe they were judging me or maybe they were worried for me. There was a woman who kept making eye contact with me. I wonder if she was repulsed by his grey hairs and deepening wrinkles pressed up against my bright milky skin, untainted by decades of sun and smoking. She was probably just really drunk and staring into space, though. 

Barak is a weird man. Considering how creepy this relationship is, he is surprisingly well-spoken, gentile, and thoughtful. It's impressive how relentlessly happy he is. He is eccentric to his core. He dresses like a character in a John Waters movie; decked out in layers of cheap flashy second-hand clothing. He gave me a vintage Yamaha racing jacket, he said it cost 7 euros. I found the same jacket on eBay and it's worth 170 euros. I gave the jacket to Talulah, I thought it was ugly. It's hard to not find myself charmed by his attention to detail. He doesn’t hold back compliments, he told me I was beautiful in an alien way. He seems so attracted to me. I cant lie, its made me more self confidant. I don’t know if its him or Berlin or the other guys Ive hooked up with but all of a sudden I feel so pretty. Ive never thought I was pretty. In fact, I used to think I was distinctly unattractive. I think most women my age probably have some insane unheard of face dysmorphia caused by years of selfie taking. Ive always liked my eyes the best, still I think they’re too hooded and downturned. I hate my cheeks, chin, and lips. My cheeks are full and make my face look fat. My chin is too small. My lips are uneven and thin. But now at certain angels, I can see the shape of something pretty emerging. When I look in the mirror I am starting to see what Barak might see. I wonder how different things might be if we were the same age. 

After a couple of hours of staring blankly at lights on a dance floor, we went back to his friend's apartment. We snorted some coke in a cab then climbed up 4 flights of stairs. He's pretty active for a 40-year-old, clubbing and drug use will really keep a person young! The apartment felt different the second time. Nighttime made the lights glow warmer, the plants looked greener, and the pots and pans that decorated the wall were extra shiny. I was on a lot of drugs. I felt cozy but there was also a growing anxiety stirring in my stomach. He put on some smooth jazz, a choice that is both too on the nose yet also deeply off-putting . He started to kiss me and pushed me onto his lap. I sat straddling a man who could be my father. This made me think of my old high school boyfriends. I remember sitting on Kiran's lap and feeling a hard penis for the first time. He took my shirt off and then his. His beer belly pushed against my own stomach as he moved to the ground. “I want to lick you”, he said. Ew. Gross. I guess there is no better way to announce oral sex but wow lick is maybe one of the worst. At this moment, I felt an all too familiar anxiety wash over me. I didn't know what to say. I didn't really want to have sex with this guy. It was all wrong, Talulah wasn't here, I was super high, and worst of all I wasn't getting paid for it but I worried that if I fucked this up we would never see him again. And we need to see him again because he's our gateway to a wonderland of crazy party drugs. But I gave in to myself and told him I didn't want to have sex. He immediately pulled away from me and very enthusiastically told me it was ok. I think that liberal self-proclaimed feminist men enjoy boasting about how well they can handle rejection. As if it isn't a normal human response to be disappointed when someone rejects you. 

 I was cold and suggested moving off of the two-person sofa and into the bedroom. We smoked two more joints and I tried to fall asleep. He kept waking me up by massaging me. Eventually, he moved his hand down my tights and began to finger me. It's not like I was being assaulted, I knew I could stop him but I just didn't feel like it. I just wanted to lay there and sleep. The drugs were making me really turned on, I wanted him to keep going. But my brain wanted to sleep. So I just laid still and imagined I was a doll. He seemed so turned on, like probably the horniest person. Eventually, he did give me head because I didn't stop him. Every time I hook up with a man I assume that he’ll pick up on my lack of enthusiasm as a sign to stop but it never happens. Despite lying there like an extra on set for a zombie movie, he pressed on. My senses were completely overwhelmed. I've never felt so vulnerable before. I was completely stripped down both physically and emotionally. I told him in order to have sex I need to complete a complex shower routine, which is only sort of true. (I like being clean before sex but I don't have OCD or anything). I tell this lie to a lot of men in order to avoid having sex and he was the first to actually think about it. He told me that my body is not dirty and that it can actually be nice to shower with other people. I was stunned. I am not used to other people outsmarting me. God, how typical the 19-year-old girl thinks her only intellectual counterpart is a 40-year-old man. Sometimes, my life feels so played out. 

After our rendezvous, I tried to fall asleep but he was snoring so loud. It sounded painful like he was dying. He would gasp for air for a bit and then he would almost choke on his own breath. He would do one big missive snore, so loud he would wake himself up. His nose is probably messed up from all the drugs. At a certain point, my nose became clogged, probably from all the drugs. Then we were, in sync, struggling to breathe. His music is still playing too. But at this point, the Spotify playlist had been on for long that it was playing Disney movie kind of jazz. Imagine the opening credits to The Princess and the Frog. The drugs were wearing off and I was increasingly aware of my own existence. I felt a headache coming. I hadn't been able to fall asleep at all but I knew my alarm would go off at 8:30 and he would wake up. All I had to do was just lay there for a bit longer. However, we were laying in a way that I was basically trapped in his arms, with his mouth right next to my ear. I was uncomfortable and couldn't move. I could tell it was daytime because the room was brighter. Waiting for the alarm was arduous. It could have been 8:27 or 6 am, I had no way of knowing. In hindsight, I don't know why I didn't wake him up. I wanted to pretend that his snoring wasn’t  happening and that I was perfectly content in his arms. I think I wanted to feel alone for a little longer.

It was my lucky day because he soon woke himself up. I felt his hard dick on my back. He commented that it was so nice sleeping with me. He asked me if he could rub himself on me. Instead, I turned around and gave him a blowjob, mostly because I felt it was the polite thing to do. He came quickly, which was also polite of him. He offered to go get breakfast but I said I don't eat breakfast. I actually love breakfast I just really wanted to go home. I did prolong my stay by taking a cold shower with useless organic soap. (My shower is currently broken, beggars can't be choosers). 

Some time has passed since this night and I've seen Barak again a couple of times. Each time is weirder than the last. Once I went to an apartment he was renovating to pick up pills. I think he’s using the renovation as a way to hide the over 40 weed plants growing in the master bedroom. Another time I went out with Talulah and him. Talulah went home with a guy from the club. Barak took me to his friend's apartment where he grows weed. He tucked me into bed, whispered, “I want to eat your pussy”, kissed my forehead, then left. This is maybe the most profitable and strange relationship I’ve ever had. I love it.

#sugardaddy #sugarbaby #berlin #diary #journal #thoughts