#dark matter feces

[mydisenchantedeulogy]

On Air [Chapter One] Smile [Alastor]

A/n: this is my first attempt at a Hazbin Hotel fic. I was inspired by 'Trials and Tribulations' by Mrs_Divinity on AO3(if you have not read this, please do) to write this. The story will contain dark content, so please heed the warnings. I'll add more as I go. Please enjoy.

The first chapter is going to be short for various reasons. And because I have lots of fics to update, this story will be a bit slow on updates but don't worry I won't abandon it.

Summary: Aelia is a hopeless romantic, so much so, that she makes a deal with an enigmatic man named Alastor whom she communicates with via a wireless radio that she found in the attic of her new home. It's not until she winds up in hell after a spree of brutal murders does she come to realize that the voice she trusted and longed to meet belongs to a demon overlord who now owns her soul.

And to make matters worse, her new demon body only reacts to him.

Will she seek redemption? Or be forever stuck to a demon who wishes to use her as an escape from boredom? Stay tuned.

Warning(s): Original female character, blood, and death, emotional manipulation, the OC is a serial killer, hopeless romantic, dark content, short chapter, false love, unhealthy relationship, and dark content.

No Minors Allowed!!

The putrid stench of death permeated the humid Tennessee air, a blend of feces and rotting flesh, but that was the least of Aelia’s concerns. 

She was at the end of the line. 

Red and blue lights bounced off the walls of her 50s fixer-upper home and despite the persistent thundering bang on her front door, Aelia did not move. She remained hunched in the corner of her bedroom, embracing a wireless Cathedral radio in a cherry wood case against her chest. 

Her heart raced as the fear of being caught dawned on her. After everything she had done; the brutal murders and the kidnappings, now she was feeling remorse. But why? She had the world in her hands. What was there to be scared of? Her life was just starting.  

“Alastor–” Aelia paused upon hearing the sound of her voice. Never had she heard something so pathetic and weak. “Talk to me…please.”

The radio hissed as two separate sound waves tried to simultaneously coexist, and then a voice as low and intense as radio static broke through; a voice Aelia yearned to hear. 

“It's nearly that time, isn't it? Tick tock. Tick tock.”

“I'm scared,” Aelia admitted. As soon as the words left her mouth, she instantly regretted it. But she knew better than to apologize.

Alastor tsked. 

“Don't lose your pluck, my dear. I still need you.”

Her heart raced and her face heated up. He needed her. His patience knew no bounds. Aelia clutched the radio tighter, wishing to hold the man behind the voice for he was the only one who gave her a reason to smile. Alastor was the angel on her shoulder, helping her take back her life. 

The day she found the radio sealed off in the attic of her new home was the best day of her life. 

“You're everything to me.”

Alastor chuckled. 

“Yes, yes. I know.”

A loud bang shook the house as the front door was kicked from its hinges. Aelia could hear the heavy footsteps of the officers as they piled into the house. The fear returned, but she took an uneasy breath and tried to sound brave.

“What do I do?”

“Why, go and meet your guests, my dear. Don't be rude,” Alastor insisted. “And remember to smile. You're not fully dressed without one.” 

Aelia stood, despite her body begging her not to, and tottered toward her bedroom door; her blood-stained dress clung to her like a second skin. She could hear the shock and disgust of the officers as she stood at the top of the stairs, knowing that it did not take them long to locate her most recent victims; she left them out as a sign of hospitality.

An officer with an elderly appearance was the first to see her, widening his eyes. Aiming his Glock 22 at her, he yelled at her to get down, gaining the attention of the other three. 

Each of them raised their guns, but Aelia did not cower. She hugged the radio against her chest and with all the strength she could, she forced a wide smile. 

Soon…my love.

#hazbin hotel fanfiction #alastor x oc #hazbin hotel fandom #oc #dark themes #Spotify #murderer oc

[loveletterstoeverything]

on smelling the flowers

Walk One

My dog takes great pleasure in our evening walks. I have not always felt the same. Our walks, historically, go like this: she pulls on her leash, and I follow behind doom scrolling social media on my phone. The heat of the evening feels oppressive, the breeze hot and taunting. She is happy, and I think only of getting back inside to lay down in the AC. She insists on smelling every fallen fruit and darts after bugs with joy. I endure.

On one of our very first walks together, Daisy rolls on her back, feet in the air, happier than I have ever seen her. I pull out my phone to take a quick video of her joy, feeling it rise in my chest as well, until my nose catches up with the situation. My dog, finally out of the shy shelter dog phase, has rolled in feces. Any joy I felt is lost in the realization that I will now need to wash a three legged dog who hates bath time and that I might be late to work because of it. Daisy, despite being covered in shit, seems to be even happier. 

I envy my dog for her seemingly natural propensity for joy, especially in the face of hard times. I brought her home 10 days after she lost her hind leg to a car accident, her side still scraped and scarred from the pavement. And yet the first moment we met she came bouncing over, sat in my lap and licked my face. She was sniffing flowers with her entire cone in the bushes, tail wagging like nothing bad had ever happened to her. Could I ever do the same?

In church I grew up hearing that happiness was a feeling, but joy is a choice. To a 17-year-old with severe depression, this sounded like bullshit shared to shift the blame of our pain from God to ourselves. I spent my life with a clenched fist, nails digging into my palm, enduring what the church might claim was God’s plan for my life. Expressing unhappiness was met each time with a smile and a condemnation: happiness is a feeling, joy is a choice; your feelings don’t matter, do a better job at getting rid of them. Truthfully, I still believe that this mantra was shared with the purpose of absolving the Almighty of any hand in our affliction, though I have found meaning of my own in them since.

Walk Two

My favorite time to walk with my dog is right before the sun fully sets, when the heat has started to seep out of the concrete and dissipate into the air but it hasn’t quite become dark yet. We walk along the fence of our complex, where bushes of purple flowers bloom when it rains. My sweet dog, with her flopping ears and wagging tail, has always believed in smelling every single flower for as long as necessary. I, with my allegedly important life, believe in shorter, functional walks. I believed that feeling joy and that noticing the beauty of this world and this life was something I could only achieve through time and medication and luck. 

I want to be clear: medication is for many (and certainly for me) a prerequisite to study and participate in joy. But I thought medicine would be magic. I was disappointed to discover that it functions more as a life jacket than a cruise ship. I wanted joy to happen to me, and I was frustrated to find that all the mood stabilizers and anxiety meds in the world wouldn’t bestow immediate happiness upon me. 

But here was this dog sniffing flowers. 

Why could I make hours of time for things that made me miserable but not take these ten minutes to be present, outside, a spectator to my dog’s delight? Why was I so annoyed when our walks would take longer while she took the time to smell every fallen olive from the trees, as if each would be a brand new scent? Maybe they are to her. Maybe each sniff makes her heart feel lighter, more excited to go to the next, the way I read books when I was young and joy was easy. Maybe if I stood here with her, I could learn her secret to happiness. 

Walk Three

I think Daisy knew what all dogs innately know: to experience joy we must choose to participate in it. Every walk, she knows to smell everything in reach of her nose: pink and purple flowers, a grasshopper before it leaps away, even the occasional snake. I wish I could say it only took one or even a handful of walks for my perspective to change. But it took years of walks (and of therapy, and of finding the right balance of medication) before anything clicked. Walking a dog is consistent; it requires intentionality and participation. Joy is similar. 

We cannot choose the perfect set of conditions to experience joy any more than we can make flowers bloom, but we can choose to seek all those places where the conditions are right for it. And when they do bloom, soft orange petals bursting open to the light, dirt still soft from the rain, we can choose to give into it. When we are consistent in looking for where our heart finds joy, in noticing where that little pull in our chest whispers “pay attention”, we can choose to experience that joy fully. 

Daisy reframed joy and happiness for me. Happiness is a feeling, yes – one of the many across the spectrum I can experience and express fully and with no shame. And joy is a choice; even when I might be covered in shit from my roll on the grass, I can choose to feel joy that I am alive, joy that there is grass to roll in, joy to not have a cone around my neck any longer. Daisy would.

On our walks now, when Daisy smells a flower, I smell one too. The yellow ones make me sneeze, and the purple ones smell a little like feet to me, but each time I breathe in the flowers with my dog I find myself smiling and marveling at what it is to be alive. Daisy rolls in the dirt, and even though a part of me wishes to pull her back to avoid trying to de-mud a 3-legged dog who hates baths, I take off my shoes and jump in puddles with her. I laugh and her tail wags and I realize that this is the way we choose joy. 

#pets #essay #happiness #joy #flowers #dog #dogs #tripod

[she-karev]

Out of Nowhere

Chapters: One of Six

Age Rating: 12+

Fandom: Grey’s Anatomy

WARNING: THIS CHAPTER INCLUDES ELEMENTS OF STALKING AND HARRASSMENT.

AN: Hey guys this chapter takes place in season 14 episode 8 when the hospital gets hacked. The next five chapters will be released daily in the morning starting with the next chapter. Enjoy and let me know what you think and a like or reblog would be great. The gif above is Amber's mood throughout the day.

Summary: Amber gets followed one night and spends the night in the on-call room out of fear for her life causing her to look and feel crappy the morning after.

Words: 3643

I walked out of the hospital with Dahlia and Schmitt as I stretched my neck after my 16-hour shift. My feet are sore and my eyes are barely open. I think the same could be said for the other two since their walking at the same exhausted, slow pace as me.

I groan, “16 hours of scut and popping cysts.”

“16 hours of ordering labs and discharging patients.” Dahlia countered.

“16 hours of B team.” Schmitt says with disgust and I chuckle, “Oh you think that’s funny? It was bedpan day and I haven’t eaten since dawn. I don’t think I’m ever gonna eat again if I keep getting saddled with B team.”

“Yeah, it’s like me after I saw The Human Centipede.” I shudder at that mention and the unappealing scene where the guy dumps in the girl’s mouth and she has to swallow it, “I think I lost like five pounds after that eating his feces scene.”

“Remind me to never let you pick a movie for us.” Dahlia whimpers in pain, “My feet are so sore will one of you massage my feet for money?” Schmitt and I immediately say no, “I had to ask.”

“Well look on the bright side.” I walk ahead and turn to face them walking backwards, “It’s gonna get worse for us tomorrow.”

“That’s the bright side?” Schmitt asks with a raised eyebrow.

“There’s a cold comfort in embracing the suck.” Dahlia shakes her head at my quote, “Yeah I heard it too I’m really tired I’ll come up with a better saying after at least two rem cycles.”

“We’ll be lucky to get half.” Dahlia quips, “Your wrong it’s not a comfort to embrace the suck.”

“I didn’t say it was for everyone.” I pull my keys out of my backpack, “My car is on the east side I’ll see you guys tomorrow.”

“That’s assuming we don’t die from exhaustion.” I chuckle at Dahlia’s dark humor, “Nope still not working. Good night.”

“Good night.” Schmitt says.

“Night.” I walk away from them and see my car at the end of the lot. The pole lights help guide me through the dark area as it’s a little before midnight. I’ve gotten used to walking down a dark path at night and I feel a lot safer here than in the NYU campus. I see a few staff members getting in their vehicles as I get closer to my car. My stomach suddenly turns uneasy but it’s not physical, it’s more intuition, the kind you get when you feel danger coming. I look behind me and I see nobody is there. I try to shake it off but the feeling doesn’t go away even when I get in my car.

I turn the engine on, calmly exit my parking spot and leave the lot. I rub my eyes to keep them open as I stop at the red light. I look at my rear-view mirror and see a black Lexus behind me that I dismiss. I drive towards my destination for about ten minutes as I yawn, I look at my rear-view mirror and double back when I see the black Lexus is still behind me.

I’ve heard stories from my friends about how a car was following them home no matter how much they slowed or sped up so I decided to test something. I pull my foot off the gas pedal so I can slow down considerably. I go from 40 to 20 MPH and I look to see if the car goes around me but my blood turns cold as the car is slowing down instead confirming that he is following me.

I take a deep breath so I don’t panic and think about the next logical step. The cops are gonna think it’s nothing and just tell me to keep driving. I can’t go home because he’ll know where I live and follow me inside my apartment. I would go to Andrew’s but he moved out of Hunt’s and he hasn’t texted me his new address. I want to go to Alex and Jo’s loft but I don’t know if their working tonight and I don’t want to be alone in that place because their neighborhood is a perfect kill zone.

There’s only one place I can think of where I won’t be alone and this guy won’t follow me, the hospital. I make a U turn and I gulp as I see the Lexus do the same thing. I try to stay calm so I can keep my eyes forward and not crash. My eyes are wide and alert as my exhaustion is replaced with fear.

I’ve had creeps hit on me at a bar and I’ve been cat-called almost everywhere I go but I’ve never had to deal with a stalker. The fact that he’s following me in his car scares me more because he can make us crash and kidnap me. I try not to speed up so I don’t give myself away and ten minutes of tense driving later I find myself in the Grey Sloan parking lot again. The car is still following me so I opt for a space close to the entrance and am relieved to find the one empty space right by the lobby entrance.

I park my car, take my keys out and quickly get out of my seat. I look to see the black Lexus stop in the middle of the parking lot as I get out and even with the windows tinted, I can feel someone’s eyes staring at me. I feel my spine creep with chills and quickly get on the sidewalk practically running towards the lobby where I’m hoping to feel some semblance of safety for tonight.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jo stands in front of the mirror in a doctor’s lounge practicing her speech to the interns on her first day as chief resident. Alex is sitting on the couch behind her eating a breakfast burrito to give her pointers.

“I am your chief resident.” Jo speaks with command, “What does that mean? It means that I am your chief. Your boss, your commander, your overlord, your queen. It means when I speak, you listen! And when you make mistakes, it reflects on me. So no mistakes!” She drops the scary glare and smiles turning to Alex anxious for his approval, “Was it good? Was it scary?”

“Very, very scary.” Alex replies with a full mouth.

Jo smiles gleefully, “Really?”

Alex drops the lie, “No.”

Jo frowns, “What? Didn’t I sound like Bailey? I was trying to sound like Bailey?”

Alex chuckles nostalgically, “Oh no.”

Jo groans, “Whatever you’re not an intern.” She pulls her phone out, “I’m gonna call Amber and see what she thinks. She’ll probably shake in horror when I pull that badass speech on her.”

Alex chuckles, “Jo my sister is not easily rattled, last week I saw her yawn at a sewer rat. A very big, very dirty sewer rat that hissed its razor-sharp teeth at her and you know what she did?”

“She yawned and walked away?” Jo asks numbly.

“She yawned and walked away.” Alex confirms taking another bite of his breakfast, “But if you think your scarier than a sewer rat be my guest.”

“Oh I am so much scarier than a sewer rat and I will prove you wrong.” Jo calls Amber’s cell and they hear an old phone sound coming from the on-call room next door. Alex and Jo look at each other perplexed before they go next door and open the door.

They find Amber sitting on the bottom bunk groaning tiredly. She’s wearing a black and white striped shirt with wrinkles for days; dark jeans and her black combat boots are in the corner. Her makeup looks worn out and her long blonde hair is in disarray from pillow head. Her phone is still ringing by the pillow and Jo hangs up looking at her confused.

“Amber?” Alex looks at her concerned over her state as she looks up at him with bags under her eyes, “What’s going on? Did you spend the night here?”

Amber looks around and realizes she did to her disgust, “I must have, gross.”

“Why didn’t you go home?” Jo asks, “I remember your schedule said you clocked out last night.”

Amber rubs her eyes and inhales, “I was followed last night.”

Alex’s eyes widen in shock and his brotherly instincts kick in, “You were what?”

“After my shift I went to my car and I got this feeling like I was being watched but I thought it was nothing so I got in my car.” Amber recounts, “I didn’t notice until ten minutes later that a car was following me, it kept following me even when I was slowing down. I didn’t want him to know where I lived so I circled back to the hospital and he did the same.”

Jo looks at her in shock and fear, “Oh my god, are you okay?”

“I was scared but I got here as fast as I could and went inside even when he stopped his car to stare at me.” Amber shudders at the chilling memory, “I didn’t see a face but I swear I-I could feel him looking at me. I thought I’d wait him out in here but I guess I fell asleep.”

Alex sits next to Amber looking at her with regard, “Why didn’t you come to my place I was home I could’ve let you spend the night.”

Amber looks at him in mild shock over his protectiveness and explains, “I didn’t know that at the time and no offense but your neighborhood is the perfect place for him to dump my body.”

“So, you spent the night here after being terrorized by a stalker?” Alex’s tone is filled with anger over what his sister had to do to be safe from a creep, “I am calling the cops.”

“Don’t it’s a waste of time.” Amber explains bitterly, “I didn’t see a license plate and his windows were blacked out so I didn’t get a face. The cops are just gonna say I was exaggerating and won’t do anything unless he gets out of his car and attacks me and only then.”

Jo nods, “She’s right the cops don’t do much in stalking cases until after he makes a move.”

“Damn it.” Alex stands up furious over that harsh but realistic statement, “Well you’re not gonna spend the night in an on-call room again that’s for sure and you’re not going back to your place.”

“What do you mean?” Amber asks.

“He means you’re staying with us until this creep gets caught.” Jo explains knowing what Alex is suggesting and agreeing with it.

Amber shakes her head, “No I don’t want to be a burden and it was probably just a one-time thing anyway.”

“I’m not taking any chances.” Alex states with conviction, “I’ll drive you to your place after we clock out and you can pack stuff for a week and I’ll take you to the loft. No arguments.” Amber looks at him with an unknown face, “What?”

Amber shrugs, “Nothing it’s just strange to see you being my overprotective brother again even though I’m all grown up now.”

“Yeah, better late than never, right?” Alex says, “I’ll meet you in the lobby after work you should get ready for the new chief resident.”

“I think she’ll take it easy on her after last night.” Jo says with sympathy and turns to Amber, “But he’s right you should get ready.”

Amber stands up, “I need a shower god knows how many butts I smell like right now.”

She walks past them and closes the door leaving them to stew, “She’s had a rough enough life she doesn’t need some stalker on top of this Jo.”

Jo nods, “I know I’m worried too but let’s take this one step at a time. She’s working today so she won’t be alone and she’s coming to our place so she’ll be safe. She’s tough Alex if I was afraid for anyone it would be the creep when he makes the mistake of approaching her.”

Alex chuckles lightly, “Yeah having two brothers teach you how to fight against your schizophrenic mother preps you for anything in life. I’m still worried though.”

Jo grins at him, “You know this whole protective big brother act is actually really sweet. Not to Amber she’ll think it’s stupid but to me it’s sweet.”

Alex nods, “Well I figured I owe her about 13 years of brotherly support and I should start now.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

After my shower I exit the bathroom in my scrubs with my hair wet feeling refreshed and clean of the on-call room germs. I’m still disgusted that I spent the night in there but I’m more pissed on why I had to. It’s bad enough this guy made me feel unsafe to go to my house but now he’s making me feel unsafe at work too.

I didn’t tell Alex that after I went inside, I waited in the lobby for an hour to make sure he left the parking lot. During that time, he called me and I was too afraid to answer it so I hung up. After I hung up, I noticed the black Lexus driving by the front entrance slowly like he wanted me to know he was still there. That happened four more times after that and I decided to go to an on-call room and wait it out. Instead, he called me throughout the night and I only got a good hour of sleep.

My pulse stops as my phone rings and I see the UNKNOWN NUMBER caller id, “God leave me alone.” I mutter under my breath as I hang up and get a cup of burnt coffee from the complimentary dispensers by the door. Roy notices my state and smirks to my annoyance.

“You look like you slept under an overpass.” Roy says smugly.

“Whatever.” I take a big sip of my cup hoping to get my energy back. I’m so exhausted that I don’t have a comeback for Doctor Douche as I call him in my head. From the corner of my eye, I see Dahlia and Schmitt looking at me concerned.

“Are you okay?” Dahlia asks, “You look tired.”

“Did you get any sleep?” Schmitt asks as he closes his locker, “I thought you went home last night?”

I groan at their questions, “I’ve got a mild case of insomnia it’s nothing I’ll just pick up some melatonin after work and crawl under my blanket for a week.” I leave out what really happened because the last thing I want is pity from them and showing weakness is a guaranteed bullseye. They’re already gonna rip me one once they figure out my brother’s girlfriend is the new chief resident.

“Ah don’t worry She-Karev.” Roy starts his morning with the usual condescending comment, “If you ask nicely, I’m sure the chief resident will prop you up some pillows and lay out lavender oil. It’s the perks of having her date your brother, right?” I roll my eyes at him and he’s suspicious, “No comeback again? What’s your deal?”

My crankiness catches up to me and I face him with a vicious glare that scares him, “My deal is that I can’t sleep and I’m spending my morning being harassed by some entitled douchebag who provides nothing except daddy’s infinity pool and a baby dick.” The last insult shocks everyone around me including Roy who’s so taken back that he walks away from me thankfully. I notice Taryn looking at me in shock causing me to glare at her too, “Take a picture it’ll last longer unlike your life.”

Helm’s eyes widen and she walks away too. Dahlia looks at me scared but for some reason she approaches me as I chug my second cup of coffee, “Are you good?”

I finish my cup and snap at her, “I’m peachy fucking keen does that make you happy?”

“I’m gonna walk away from you because you’re the equivalent of a fire breathing dragon right now.” Dahlia walks away from me. I didn’t want to be mean but I’ve been told repeatedly that if I don’t get at least 2 rem cycles a night I get bitchy and more so than usual which means everyone around me is in hostile territory. I make a note to avoid Andrew so he doesn’t become collateral damage.

“Morning everyone.” I swallow the last of the caffeine and turn to face Jo who stands by the door waiting for everyone to stand in front of her. As soon as we all gather around she clears her throat, “Okay I’ll be your chief resident for the duration of your intern year that means when I say your on the pit your on the pit, when I say your on scut your on scut and when I walk you follow me got it?” We all nod at her boss like tone and she turns and walks out the door pausing to look at us in annoyance, “This is when you follow people!” We all snap out of it and follow her on foot as she leads us through the waiting room, “So just know that I am here for you. I will lead and support you and in return you will not be stupid or slow or…make me look bad.”

I smirk at her feeble attempts at intimidation and whisper to her, “Speech was good until the last pause.”

“Karev, you speak when I speak to you.” Jo snaps as we keep walking.

I nod impressed, “Nice if I was an average intern, I would be pissing myself.” Jo smiles at my comment and we stop to wait for Dr. Grey, Pierce and Shepherd so we can be assigned to their service.

The three attendings stop in front of us and Pierce says, “Wilson who do you got for me?”

“Oh okay uh…” Jo checks her tablet as I yawn, “Parker your on cardio with Pierce.” Casey leaves us to follow Pierce and all of us are anxious over which of us is in Dr. Grey’s service. Ever since she won the Harper Avery awards, we all regard her as a god among surgeons and fight over who is gonna be under her wing.

“I have a splenectomy and I need a couple of hands.” Before she even finishes they all raise their hands and butter up to her. I refrain from doing it as I know the strategy is to play it cool and act like I don’t care. It works with dates so it should work here. She doesn’t want a suck up and I really want a surgery but don’t show it even in my tired state.

“I said try not to embarrass me.” Jo reprimands causing us to be quiet as we wait for her decision.

I cross my fingers behind my back waiting for her to make a decision and she finally speaks, “Glasses.” I frown deeper in despair and look at Schmitt behind me in shock who also looks confused, “Your with me let’s go.”

“What?” I whisper to Helm who shrugs and Levi follows Dr. Grey.

Jo also agrees with us, “Would not have been my first choice but moving on. Okay Shepherd?” They raise their hands again and butter up to mine and Jo’s annoyance, “Are you kidding?”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I try to keep my eyes open as I juggle three patients in the pit. One is a man in his 30’s with a sprained ankle, one is an elderly woman complaining of stomach pain and the last one is a young woman who came in with a migraine. I feel like taking a quick nap in one of the beds but I know if I do I’ll get a reprimand and I have enough on my plate as it is.

I head to the station to update the board when my phone vibrates and I groan. It’s the fifth time since I entered the pit. I hang up but Hunt notices, “She-Karev unless it’s a page our patients would appreciate it-”

“I-I know Dr. Hunt I am so sorry. It is the last time I swear.” My phone vibrates again and Hunt raises an eyebrow at me accusingly.

“Last time?”

“It’s not my fault!” I snap and I pause as I try to rectify, “I’m sorry I’m exhausted I’ll take care of this.” I answer my phone and speak in a low angry voice, “Leave me alone you asshole!”

“Amber?” I freeze embarrassed as I recognize Andrew’s voice, “Um I was just calling to ask if you wanted to get dinner tonight but I’m guessing I called you at a bad time.”

“You have no idea.” I say bitterly under my breath and inhale, “Look I’m sorry I’ll call you back later I gotta go bye.” I hang up and face Hunt who raises an eyebrow at me, “Don’t worry I’m blocking him right now.” I block the unknown number id and go back to my patients. Suddenly my elderly patient flatlines and I widen my eyes.

“Karev she’s coding!” Hunt runs over to help.

“I need a crash cart!” I yell at the nurses who get me the crash cart and I ready the paddles when I hear the flatline sound coming from all the monitors. I look on in shock and suddenly my elderly patient wakes up.

“What’s going on?!” The old woman sits up and I am baffled that she’s fine even though her monitor is still flatlining as well as Hunt next to me. The flatlining sound fills the pit and I’m suddenly wide awake with a new and bigger problem staring at me.

#greys anatomy #amber karev #alex karev #jo wilson #andrew deluca #elizabeth gillies #headcanon #liz gillies #14x08 #out of nowhere

[mountaingoatsfirstlineaday]

for several days the visitors were here. we saw them turned down, watched them disappear.

when i watch saw, i'm thinking about a daddy and twink kissing time. the entire movie is based around transience and time limits. we're always creeping towards 6:00, creeping towards the end of life for at least one person, creeping towards the climax. It's what makes a movie primarily set inside one disgusting bathroom, four walls, engaging to watch. from the start, we have an end. these people are dead. in genesis 30:3, we have a time limit too, or at least the vague sense of impending doom that is common in tmg music. knowing john darnielle's writing style, it's not surprising that he doesn't give us a specific apocalyptic vision (because the song isn't really about the doom, it's about the relationship between the narrator and someone else, at least when I listen to it), rather he adds in the hints here and there: "we talked about the days the said were sure to come, had a hard time believing" and "for several hours we lay there, last ones of our kind. harder days coming, maybe, i don't mind."

and adam and lawrence did lay there for several hours, the last ones of their kind? yes, if we count "their kind" as a category created by the experience/trauma of going through a jigsaw trap. they are the only two people on earth who know almost exactly what the other went through. another interesting piece of beginnings and endings... they are both the first and last. others might get close enough to fake it, and maybe that will be enough, but it's not the real thing. who knows if that matters in the long run, but right now, it's lawrence and adam laying together on a tile floor, trying to keep cool, desperate all night, sweating-- wait, wrong song.

however much it matters by the end of it, i fully believe that to some extent, lawrence did really care about adam. he cared for him in the same way he cared for his wife and their kid and his patients; that is, by lying to him. "the power in your voice, your rough touch. you keeping care of me, keeping watch." trying to make adam feel better even though he can't do anything about the problem... I suppose it's a skill set you develop when you constantly have to tell people that they have terminal cancer and there's nothing to be done. he has an inoperable tumor on his frontal lobe. a ticking clock. a time limit. et cetera.

adam cared for lawrence more obviously. hiding the picture and sticking his hand into a toilet full of feces. bludgeoning zep to death without lawrence even needing to ask him to. he is the narrator of genesis 30:3, to me, because i think that he really would do anything lawrence asked him to. it sounds kinda dumb when i say it, but it's true. goddamnit. it's true. i would do anything for you. adam's a bad liar and yet he lies all the time; his actions reveal his love because his actions are his love. they are both simple, straightforward things. i love you so i will make you a cup of tea. i love you so i will do what you ask me to.

on the choruses:

the first chorus ("open up the doors to the tent, and wonder where the good times went. i will do what you ask me to because of how i feel about you") reflects the rough first half of the movie to me. both adam and lawrence are trying to figure out how they got to be where they are right now, what went wrong. where did the good times go? not that either of their lives before could necessarily be called "good times" in all honestly, but i'm pretty sure most things beat waking up in a jigsaw trap. and they do the little things, right off the bat. for each other.

the second chorus ("open up the promise of the day, drive the dark things away. i will do what you ask me to do, because of how i feel about you.") corresponds to the second half, particularly at the end. with a sawnlysis of the song (as opposed to a regular reading of it), the second chorus becomes somewhat sardonic and sad. lawrence does try to drive the dark things way for adam. by, you know, normal couple things, sawing off his own foot and soaking in another man's blood together before blatantly lying to him multiple times in an attempt to calm him down. he drives the dark things away but it's at the cost of letting a real dark thing in for good.

and this kind of fits the note the movie ends on. it always makes me cry. adam, alone, dark room. screaming, crying. i always hope against hope that this time the movie will be different, and lawrence will come back. surprise extra end credits scene. here we are. two boys in love. saw ii is about the legal battle lawrence has with alison over alimony and baby's first pride riot. adam and lawrence accidentally murder a cop.

okay this has gotten really long. i just rewatched saw bc it's available for free on tubi in the us right now and every single time this movie makes me feel emotions. i thought i was done. i'm not. okay goodnight

#not a first line #sawbsession #the mountain goats #tmg #john darnielle #saw 2004 #adam from saw #lawrence gordon #genesis 30:3 #the life of the world to come #tlotwtc

[waeziverse]

Royal Punch: Atsidas and Connie

The Pie House had been the most successful eating establishment in Onyxville for the last sixty years. Besides the many pies and quick service, the place had been revolutionary back when they became the first restaurant in the dock town with a toilet. Such a thing was considered a matter of course in modern Nesredna society and no one thought of the brilliance of the dwarves who had made the removal of feces so simple. The miracle called toilet was truly unappreciated.

Atsidas the Orc did not appreciate the toilet as he was cleaning it. How much importance they had did not occur to him as he was pretty simple minded. The list of things he did not consider was rather long, which was part of the reason to why he would soon be in a lot of trouble.

One of the many things he did not consider, just to name an example, was how dangerous the neighborhood he both lived and worked in were. But that was most likely because Atsidas was a big fella. Taller than most adults he met. He was not used to creatures trying to pick fights with him.

So he was met by a surprised when his shift had ended and left the restaurant through the back door. Someone who as not impressed or intimated by his size ambushed him by hurling cold water in the face with so much force that it felt like as if he had been punch in the kisser.

“You bastard! You green piece of shit!”

On the backstreet behind the Pie house where trash had been thrown, a creature with light-brown skin, round ears and dark hair glared angrily at Atsidas. She was dressed in a blouse made of cheap silk with (poorly) hand-sewed patterns. She was also wearing an apron that had white powder on it, presumably flour.

Her beautiful black hair had been gathered in a braid.

“Ouch...” Atsidas’ cheek had turned red from the impact of the water that now had returned to the human who had cast the spell. The human held her hand over her head and the water levitated over her open palm. “Hey, hey, easy.”  Atsidas said as he held up his hands to show he did not want any trouble. “What is this-”

“SHUT UP!” The human grind her teeth as she with a wave of her hand sent the floating orb of water flying as if it were a ball. It landed on Atsidas‘ stomach, making him trip backward. “Do you have ANY idea what you have done to me, asshole?!”

Atsidas shrugged. “No?” His reply seemed to make the human even more pissed as she clenched her fist, making the orb of water freeze and getting small spikes. Atsidas gulped. It looked unpleasant. “Wait, just tell me what I-”

“What’s going on out here?!” Rosalio, the satyr with black wool who cleaned the toilets with Atsidas, had heard the commotion and had just opened the backdoor and was about to enter the backstreet. The human turned red as a tomato and the ball of ice turned liquid once more. She threw it at the face of the satyr. “AARGH, MY EYES! WHAT THE HELL?!” Rosalio nudged his eyes as the human ran away. Atsidas still sat on his behind, confused. He only now realized that he sat on puke.

“Hey, you okay?” Rosalio offered Atsidas a hand that the young orc accepted. “What was that about? Did you piss off that human?”

“I guess...” Atisdas shrugged as he dusted off his clothes and used the back of his sleeve to dry himself of water. It did not smell pleasant.

Rosalio rolled his eyes. “Nasty creatures. Still don’t get why the orcs didn’t get rid of the kids as well. Did you get a good look at her? We could tell the city guard on her ass.”

“... Nice earring.” Atsidas noticed the feather-formed pieces of silver hanging from Rosalio’s long sheep-ears. “Are those new?”

Rosalio’s nostrils grew wider as he got annoyed. “Don’t change the subject, this is serious! Did you get a good look at her?!”

“Nooo...” Atsidas blinked three times as he lied. Rosalio luckily did not notice as his eyes were still sore. “No, it... happened so fast. Humans, ah, look all the same, am I right?”

“Come on, there live, like, five or six humans in this town. Skin color? Nose size? You must have noticed something about her.”

“Nope.” Atsidas blinked rapidly once more. “No, I’m not sure I could recognize her if I met her again.”

***

Kahaani the Human, called Connie by friends, took the dough and slammed it against the wooden table, getting flour on herself. She knead the dough as she blew a lock of hair away from her face. She kept pounding the dough over and over again, taking her frustrations out on this bread-to-be. As she finished kneading the bread six times too many, she placed it inside a pot and then sprinkled flour on top of the dough before putting the lid on the pot. As she did so, the water inside a bowl turned around by itself mixing the water with oil, salt and yeast. Connie then added flour to the mix that eventually became dough that she also punished.

After doing so for an hour or so, she felt exhausted and sick to her stomach. She was about to leave the kitchen as she was created by Agnes, the owner of the bakery and the centaur who had agreed to be her foster parent when Connie’s parents had been banished from the kingdom after the orcs took over. Like the rest of the human adults.

“You look pale.” Agnes was leaning her upper body through the window that connected the kitchen and shop. “What’s the matter, luv?”

“I don’t wanna talk about it...” Connie went to the stairs that led to her bedroom. She knew she could be in peace from Agnes there since centaurs and stairs did not get along.

Orcs however did stairs just fine. That and ladders.

“What th-” Connie was about to yell, but stopped herself as she did not want Agnes to be worried. So she took in a deep breath, walked into her room, closed the door and then glared at the orc who was about the same age as her. “What the hells are you doing here?!”

“I just wanna talk.” Atsidas casually closed the window he had used to enter the room. “Is something wrong? Did I do something... bad? If I did, then I’m super sorry!”

“Do something ba-” Connie stopped herself yet again from working herself up and took in a deep breath as she took off her apron and sat on her bed. She held up a hand as Atsida was about to sit next to her. She then sighed. “I’m... I went to the local healer and... Look, I’m pregnant, okay?!”

Atsidas’ jaw would have hit the wooden floor had it been long enough.

Connie looked at Atsidas as she was expecting something from him, then she looked away and scratched her nose.

Atsidas looked at the human girl and tried to say something, but his mouth was dry and his throat felt like was filled with nuts. But then he forced himself to speak despite his voice being meek. “So... so, what do we do now?”

Connie groaned. “We? WE are not doing anything. I’m gonna work extra hours at the bakery to save up money. And I’m gonna change my diet to gain weight so no one will think it’s weird my stomach is getting bigger. And I will hopefully somehow save up enough to leave town and figure out what to do about this mutant baby.”

“Connie, I’m not an asshole. I will save up, too. Help and... stuff.”

Connie made a bitter laugh as she shook her head. “Sid, you barely make enough as a cleaner to pay rent. Hells, you don’t. You have to share a shitty apartment with an overgrown turkey.”

“Actually, I think Don is a pheasant harpy... sorry, not important. Look, I did this to you, I-”

“Stop, Sid, just... just stop.” Connie nudged her eyes as she stood up from her bed. “You are sweet, but... Just stay away from me from now on.”

Atsidas blinked. “But-”

“We both agree that everyone and their aunt hate hybrids, right? So lets keep our distance so no one thinks the eventually visibly pregnant human and orc are somehow connected. Besides, you and me... this was a bad idea to begin with, right? It’s stupid how lucky we been so far, not getting outed. You don’t owe me anything. This was never gonna go anywhere.”

Atsidas looked like a lost puppy. A big green one. Connie tried to smile but instead just made a weird grimace. She then placed a hand on the cheek she had hit earlier. Atsidas placed his hand over hers. It felt as if time went too fast and too slow simultaneously.

Unsure what to do, Connie pulled her hand free and patted Atsidas on the shoulder. “It was... nice while it lasted.”

“Yeah. It was... I will go, I guess. See ya lat... ah, right, no.” The young orc opened the window and turned one last time to look at the prettiest creature he had even laid eyes on. “... bye.”

After Atsidas had climbed down the ladder and hidden it in the bush like he had done many times before, Connie closed the window, went to bed, buried her face into the pillow and wept.

***

Atsidas’ home was a three-room flat above a shop that sold cheese. The young orc had lived there for two years since his parents had agreed that it was time for him to learn what Nesredna society was like and work on his personality like his three older siblings.

Atsidas wondered why he couldn’t work on his personality while working at the family company. Then again, having his big sisters and brother as supervisors might not have been that great.

Atsidas opened the door and heard the snore of Don, the co-owner of his humble home. He took off his work suit and picked his casual brown shirt and pants that hung from a nail hammered into the wall next to the door. He took a look in the bedroom and found the red-faced bird guy sleeping like a rock and having accidentally kicked his blanket off. He was wearing nothing but his trousers, making almost all of his brown and green feathers visible. After opening a window to get some fresh air inside the flat, Atsidas went to the humble kitchen where there were some bean stew left, easy to heat up. Don had written a note for him again despite Atsidas and all other orcs not being able to read.

Atsidas decided to eat the stew cold since the heat crystal was not working and filled a wooden bowl with food and decided to reuse the spoon used to cook it. He went to his bed and sat on it as he ate and took a quick glance at the harpy dude on the bed next to his. He considered if Don could help him, but decided not to since he did not want to be called a pervert and then having to find a new home.

As he chewed on the stew that tasted fine cold, Atsidas decided that the best thing to do was demanding a raise. He was a hard worker, he deserved one.

***

After being laughed out of Mr. Yarrow’s office, Atsidas sighed and went to join Rosalio in cleaning tables before the Pie House would open for customers.

“What’s the matter with you?” The black-haired satyr was about to dry the washed chairs with a rag.

“... I asked the boss for a raise.” Atsidas took a rag from the bucket of water next to Rosalio.

“HA!” The young sheep-man tried his best not to make a stupid smirk as he covered his mouth. “Sorry, sorry...”

Atsidas just shrugged and whipped the tables in the restaurant.

“Seriously, I’m sorry.” Rosalio took a dry rag. “What’s the matter, money trouble?”

Atsidas hesitated. He liked Rosalio, but he didn’t know him that well. “It’s... private.”

“Fair, fair. None of my beeswax.” Rosalio took a glance at Atsida’ built. He came to the conclusion that the tusked green-skinned guy could do well in the Undersea Temptress. “But, ah... I know...” The satyr’s eyes flacked left and right to see if they actually were alone. Then he stepped closer to the orc and lowered his voice. “... I know a place where you could make some quick cash.”

Atsidas stopped moping and blinked. He looked at Rosalio. “What? Where?”

“See, you can’t tell anyone, I’m not really suppose to tell anyone, I risk getting my cute wooly tailed kicked for this, and if you go there, don’t mention that I told you, but... You know the Undersea Temptress?”

“The tavern at the other end of town?”

“Yeah. You know what coronet style is?”

***

Idun the Half-Elf was the owner and bartender of the tavern named the Undersea Temptress, a shady little establishment near the docks. Shad her long red hair cover most of the left side of her head so you couldn’t see the nasty scar that was where a pointy ear had once been. She cleaned a mug with a rag as she stood behind the bar counter. She studied the young orc with the one eye she had left. “Well... You are a tall shit. But you ever been up fighting?”

Atsidas scratched the back of his head. “I got sent to wrestling lessons by my parents when I was ten. For like... a year or so?”

Idun narrowed her eye. “Aha...”

“AND, I have three older siblings, so there’s that.”

“Ouch.” Idun ginned. “So you know how to take a punch and throw one as well, eh? Good enough. You got two coronets?”

Atsidas took two coins out of his pocket. “Yeah. Why?”

“Because I sure as hell ain’t trust you enough to give you two of mine.” Idun leaned over the counter to see if she could spot the satyr who practically lived in the Mermaid after he had been told his boxing career would go nowhere. “Yo, Hector! Want to introduce a newcomer to two-crown fighting?!”

The satyr Hector finished his beer and burped. He had a pair of impressive swirled horns and was dressed in a shirt without sleeves to show off his arms. He was one of those satyrs who did not wear pants, something that was considered rude by most. The creatures in the tavern stood up and shoved chairs and tables towards the walls as they knew a fight was about to start. One of the tavern workers, a goblin, took a piece of chalk and drew a white line on the floor and disappeared in a small cloud of smoke and reappeared sitting on the counter. Next to the goblin was now a big jar that Idun had placed on the counter to collect the coronet coins the creatures would bet on the brawl.

Idun had a piece of paper ready to note bets. “Awright, you pieces of puke! We got usself a brawl! Hector versus the newcomer orc Albert! First bugger to drop a coin lose! Place your bets, ladies and gents!”

“My name is Atsidas, but some call me-”

“Don’t give a shit, kid.” Idun pushed Atsidas so he would go toward the chalk line on the floor. “Win and I might. Now, hold a coin in each hand and make fists. Rest should be obvious.”

Atsidas answer was a shrug as he then stood in front of Hector with his fists raised in order to awkwardly guard his face. He waited for a start signal of some sort, but instead got a fist on the left side of his head.

***

Agnes the Centaur stood by the table in her kitchen and waited for Connie to join her for breakfast. The warm bread was about to get cold as her human foster child finally came and took a seat and made a sandwich with cheese. “Sorry, I had to pee.”

“By the  Unknown Architects, is your bladder leaking, girl?” The elderly horse-lady looked concerned at the very hungry human who devoured her bread and cheese as if her life depended on it. “As a matter of fact, you seem to have been sick in general for a month or so. You spend too much time in the outhouse, you get tired, you are queasy... Maybe you should go see a healer-”

“Trust me, I have.” Connie did her best to not snap at Agnes, easier said than done as her chest felt sore. “It’s some sort of influenza, the healer says I should just walk it off.”

Agnes tilted her head. “I don’t think that’s how influenza works, sweety-”

“Well, the healer says it does. I forgot my apron upstairs.” After making her bad excuse to leave, Connie went upstairs, making it impossible for the horse-woman to physically reach her.

Sitting on her bed, Connie took in a deep breath and then moaned as her body felt uncomfortable in general. She massaged her temples and then finally realized that her window was open. Connie thought this was weird as she was sure she had shut it before going downstairs, but she found it likely that she had just forgotten to do so given her current state of discomfort.

But then she noticed a small bag on the floor. She picked it up and opened it. It was filled with coronets. There was no note attached to it since orcs did not read or write.

Connie rolled her eyes. “Gods dammit, Sid!”

***

Hector the Satyr sat at a table at the back of the Mermaid tavern and glared at the creatures who made a circle around the orc who had become the patron’s favorite fighter since he had beat up Hector two weeks ago.

The creatures who spectated the fight, most of them having had one drink too many, yelled at Atsidas to get his head into the fight as the humanoid salamander-man Bartholomew the Grindylow was mercilessly pummeling the young orc.

Atsidas did not know much about grindylows. He didn’t know that the reason to why they were so strong were that these salamander-men where born to be able to live and move under sea. He did not know that sea creatures were not allowed to participate in any sport held on land. He didn’t know that the reason to why Bartholomew’s punches had so much weight behind them was because he could use his tail as an extra leg. But what Atsidas did know as he guarded his face was that sea creatures did not handle sweating very well.

As Bartholomew was panting due to not being used to fighting anyone playing defensive against him, Atsidas planted a fist on his flat nose. Bartholomew tried to use his tail to make the orc trip, but Atsidas had learned most of the cheap tricks used in the Mermaid by now and stepped on the tip of said tail as he made his fist connect with the grindylow’s liver area. This resulted in the sea-monster tripping and losing his grip around one of the two coins he held in each hand, meaning he had lost the match.

The patrons of the bar clapped at their champ as Atsidas made a sigh of relief and simply dropped the coins that he had held so firm that marks were left on the palms of his hands.

“Bloody hell, kid.” Idun grinned as she poured the young orc a drink as he sat on a stool next to the bar counter to catch his breath. “Have on on the house! I knew the moment you stepped inside my joint that you were a tough green bugger, I just knew it-”

“Yeah, sure.” Atsidas took the cup and swallowed the burning liquid. Idun offered him a rug which he took and dried his sweaty face with. “Cash, please.”

Idun placed a small leather bag filled with coronets on the counter. “Speaking of money, some rich broad said she wanted a word with you. She sits at the other end of the room.”

Atsidas stopped counting the coins in the bag. “About what?”

The eye-patched elf grinned. “Perhaps she needs you as her gardener since you have such delicate and gentle hands?”

“Fuuuunny.” Atsidas walked across the room, being clapped on the shoulder and congratulated by a few, though most of the creatures had turned their attention to a short plump harpy singing while a spindly elf played on a fiddle.

Atsidas looked for the so-called rich broad, then spotted on he was sure fit the title as she was female as well as had an awful lot of jewelry on her. She was dressed in a black fur coat

Atsidas hesitated joining her at her table as he noticed the snakes for hair. The gorgon smiled as she noticed Atsidas and pointed toward an empty chair. Atsidas decided despite his better judgement to take a seat at the gorgon's table. “Ah... hey... ma'am.”

“Please, Veronica.” She poured herself a glass of red whine. “I saw your fight, you got some moves. They tell me you the balls of a lion, kid.”

Atsidas scratched the back of his head as he evaded eye contact. “I, ah, I never met a lion, so I wouldn’t know.”

“HA!” The snake-woman grinned as she sniffed in the scent of her wine. “So, you have a stage name?”

“Atsidas.”

“Naw, kid. Not a name. A stage name. What do folks around here call you?”

“Well...” Atsidas shrugged. “Sometimes, when someone is pissed at me, they call me stuff like that tall green shit.”

“Heh, doesn’t exactly command respect, knowwhatimsayin?“ Veronica took a sip of the blood-colored liquor. “See, I been out of town since before you could wipe your own green ass, and I used to run a pretty good fight club. But to get back in business, I need some brawlers.”

Atsidas looked up from the table and forced himself to look Veronica in the eyes covered by a pair of black glasses. “You offering me a job?”

Veronica finished her glass of whine as each snake-head of her hair wiggled their tongues at him. “Sure. And I pay better than one-eye over there.” Veronica nodded toward Idun who was dragging drunk satyr to the door and then planted her right foot on said satyr’s tailed behind. “But you need a stage name, something that got presence, ya dig?”

Atsidas tilted his head. “Presents? Like gifts?”

Veronica rolled her eyes. “Eh, fuhgeddaboudit. Hmm...” She scratched the chin of one of her snakes. “Let’s see... tall green shit... Green... Hehe, got it.” She patted Atsidas on the shoulder, startling the young orc. “How about we call you... Green Plague?”

***

Connie decided that after finding a bag with 2000 coronets at her window ledge that enough was enough and went to the less fancy part of town to find Atsidas and tell him to knock it off. Whatever he was doing to get that sort of money was not something she was interested in even being involved with, not even directly.

She had been pregnant for two months without anyone noticing. That is, Connie very much noticed as she felt bloated and her breasts felt weird. She was pissed for understandable reasons, but her mood swings made what was bad worse.

She had first gone to the Pie House to try catch him there, but going to the store manager after claiming she needed to make an complaint about some orc who worked there, she had been told that the only orc employee that had worked for them had quit his job some weeks ago.

So she instead went to his home. Unwise since she had tried since they met to not be seen with Atsidas in public, but she was annoyed, felt sick and was somehow hungry at the same time, so her sense of reason was a bit pressed at the time. She knocked on the door to Adsidas’ apartment. The door was opened by Don, Adsidas’ roommate and a pheasant-type harpy. He held a bucket of water that smelled like soap.

The bird looked at the brown-skinned creature, slightly startled. “What do yer want?”

Connie narrowed her eyes. “I need to talk to the tall green shit you live with.”

“He don’t live here no more.” Don tried to close the door, but Connie blocked the door with her foot.

“Then where is he now?”

Don blinked as he gathered his nerves. “I ain’t tell yer shit. Beat it, bitch.”

Connie’s eyebrow twitched. “What?”

Don straighten his back to look taller. “Yer heard me. Piss off.”

With the bucket of water, firm arms that had knead plenty of dough and magic that allowed her control over water, Connie introduced Don to the concept of a swirly whirly. Don had transformed his arms to wings as he basked with them to get free, but they were no help as Connie had a foot planted on his back as she held his head. 

Connie pulled up Don’s face by the feathers on his head. The water in the bucket was still swirling. “Still a tough guy?”

“I don’t know where he is, I don’t know where he is!” Don coughed and blinked franticly. The feathers on his head were heavy and wet. “I’m sorry I called you a bitch, human! That was SOOO uncalled for!”

“Then where is he now?” Connie rattled Don’s head.

“How should I know?! He moved out some weeks ago, left with a bag of his junk, no explanation or nothin’! Him and that black sheep dude took his stuff and-”

“Goat?”

“Year, you know, a satyr. With black wool. Atsi told me he had to move and that satyr helped him-”

“Tell on me to the city guard and you will regret it, birds for brains.” Connie let go of Don’s head and stood up from the floor as Don was still on his knees. Connie left the room, angry at herself for losing her temper as she went to the Pie House where Atsidas worked.

***

Rosalio the Satyr hummed as he tapped his hoof on the wooden floor while he ate his dinner before leaving work for the day. One of the perks of being an employee in the Pie House was the free pie. Sure, it was leftover pie, but second-hand food was still food. And he needed all the free food he could get his hands on as he had accidentally spent too many coronets on his new jacket.

But if Atsidas kicked ass then he would acquire a fairly large sum of coins tonight.

While enjoying his free meal, Rosalio did not pay attention to the human watching him intensively. She wore a shawl around her hair and had a hefty appetite, practically ate for two.

After finishing his food and having changed from his work uniform to his newly bought jacket, Rosalio left the restaurant cheerfully. Connie the Human followed him.

Rosalio was kind of a moron, so he didn’t notice that he was being tailed. Good thing since Connie was not great at it.

The streets of Onyxville were illuminated by oil lamps, but not great ones. Made the end of town they had gone to seem murky in every sense of the word. Connie kept her distance as she watched Rosalio stop in front of a building that seemed like it had seen better days. Had it not been this dark, she would have been able to read the sign over the door that said Hard Knocks Gym. In front of said door stood a rather tall Grindylow who resembled a fire-belly newt. Said grindylow wore a blouse with a neckline that showed the top of her red area on her chest.

Connie couldn’t hear what Rosalio was saying to the grindylow, but he was close enough to the light from a lamp so she could see the satyr laugh and move his hands as if he was telling a joke or a funny story. The sea-creature looked at him unimpressed. Rosalio then gave up what he was doing and gave the grindylow a small sack, which resulted in her opening the door to the gym for him and she quickly slammed it as he stepped inside, almost hitting his little tail.

Connie then stepped closer to the grindylow, unsure what to say. “Hello. I... Well, the thing is-”

“Okay, let me stop you right there.” The grindylow held up one of her scaly hands. “If you as much as think about trying to sweet-talk me into giving you a discount, then forget it. Some furball already tried to. It’s 100 coronets or piss off.”

“Right. No discount, one second...“ Connie collected the amount of coins from her purse, no idea what she was paying for. The black salamander-creature weighted the coins in her hand and then opened the door and gave Connie a light push and then slammed the door.

Connie found herself inside a large open space illuminated by light crystals on the ceiling. A large group of creatures stood at the middle of it and yelled and cheered and she heard the sound of a gong. They were around a boxing ring, watching two creatures beat the shit out of each other. Before this horde stood a dove-styled harpy wearing a multi-colored dress made of sequins held a sign shaped like an arrow that said Place Ur Bets Here. The arrow’s head pointed toward a table were an elf in a black dress accepted coins and handed a blue or red piece of paper to creatures who stood in a line, looking impatient as they turned their heads toward the fight.

Connie decided to get a closer look of what was the center of attention. She managed to push and shove her way through the creatures till she could get a better look at what was going on inside the boxing ring.

And then she spotted Atsidas inside the right with a pair of red gloves and a black eye.

“Aw, hells no!” Connie couldn’t recall being this angry as she watched Atsidas exchanging blows with a bison-styled female minotaur.

“I know, right?!” said a centaur who had a much clearer view of the fight because of his height. “I paid to see a blood bath, where’s the dang blood?”

Connie blinked. “Wait, what?”

The centaur soon got what he wanted as the minotaur, after planting a hook on Atsidas sore eye, lowered her head and stabbed the young orc in the chest. Atisdas screamed in pain as he retaliated by hitting the minotaur in the back of her head.

“Holy shit!” Connie was horrified.

“I know, right?!” The centaur raised his arms over his head and clapped. “Now we're getting somewhere!”

The creatures clapped and whistled while Connie felt as if she was gonne puke. Atisdas and the minotaur mercilessly took turns hitting each other in the face. Atsidas elbowed the bull-lady on the forehead, resulting in her taking two wobbly steps backward as she started to bleed from the cut the orc had just given her. She lowered her head and tried to ram Atsidas who managed to get hold of the horns of his opponent with his gloved hands and slammed the minotaur’s head into one of the corners of the ring. Atsidas stepped away and as the minotaur stood up and was about to turn, the young orc threw as many punches he could while practically gasping.

There were some boos and some cheers around the ring as he had forced the minotaur against the ropes. But most of the spectators started to chant: “GREEN PLAGUE! GREEN PLAGUE! GREEN PLAGUE!”

After getting a last punch, this time directly on the chin, the minotaur fell to the canvas, spread out on the canvas and gasping. Atsidas looked as if he was about to fall as well but managed to lift one fist over his head as the spectators still chanted his stage name. His face looked like crap.

“That dumb bastard!” Connie was furious but also felt great relief.

“I know, right?!” The centaur looked annoyed as he ripped his betting slip in half. “I just lost 1000 slaps because of that green shit.”

Connie was relieved that Atsidas had survived the fight. Because that meant she had not been robbed the opportunity to kill him for his idiocy.

***

After washing his face and getting dressed and wrapped a bandage around his chest where his wound from the horn was, Atsidas left the gym with Rosalio as two rooster-styled harpies were duking it out in the ring. As they got out on the streets, it started to rain.

“That was awesome!” Rosalio slapped Atsidas on the back.

Atsidas looked uncomfortable. “Please don’t do that, everything hurts. So, the money?”

“Sure, man. Sure.” Rosalio gave him a leather pouch. “This is your cut of the money I bet on you.”

“Not so loud, someone could hear you.” Atsidas hissed. “If someone knew I bet on myself I would be screwed.”

“Eh, it’s not like you fix the fights, you just bet on winning.” Rosalio gave the orc a light pat on the shoulder. “See ya when I see ya.”

As the satyr skipped away, Atsidas turned his head to look at the creature who had tailed him as soon as he had left the Hard Knocks Gym, unsure if he should keep pretending not to see her. Then he sighed. “Yeah, I know it’s you, Connie.”

The human remained some feet away, standing behind one of the poles that held a street lamp.

“Look, ah... we could go to my place? Maybe talk? I live not far from here.”

Connie didn't answer at first. Then, she walked past him and quickly whispered. “Keep your distance from from me as we walk.”

Atsidas watched Connie walk in front of him and realized she was dry despite the rain swince her magic made the raindrops vapor above her person. “Ah... shouldn’t I go in front?”

Connie stopped up. It took her a sec to realize he was right as she walked back and kept her distance while following Atsidas.

***

“Screw you!”

Connie had just entered Atsidas’ new apartment after being sure no one would see her go into the young orc’s home.

“Nice to see you, too...” Atsidas was drying himself with a rag. Getting a cold from rain was a luxury he couldn’t afford. “Want some tea.”

“No, I don’t want some bloody tea.” Connie took a glance around. It was a three-room apartment, it seemed. They were in a big room with a table and some cushions around it used for sitting. A big sack was dangling from the ceiling and it looked slightly worn. There was a mattress next to it with a blanket. A pair of boxing gloves and some training weights were next to the mattress.

Atsidas had a bucket with water he used to wet a small rag he placed on his sore eye. “I don’t really have any food, I just buy something from the restaurant next door, I could go pick some food for us-”

“I don’t want food!” Connie said annoyed. “And I don’t want your money! Especially not if you get them from getting brain damage!”

“Look, how else was I gonna get money for you? I’m tall and I’m pretty good at hurting others-”

“I don’t give a shit, stop coming to my place and stop giving me money, I don’t want to be associated with your shit.”

Atsidas sighed as he wrung his rag. “I keep telling, you, I’m careful-”

Connie kicked one of the gloves that Atsidas had left on the floor. “Why do you have to make this so difficult?! You don’t owe me anything, okay? I don’t want you to get your face battered just because you feel bad about knocking me up. It’s my fault that you get hurt because you want to play gentlema-”

“I’m doing it for myself, okay?!”

Connie blinked. It was the first time the orc boy had raised his voice at her. Heck, she couldn’t recall him raising his voice at all.

“Look... it’s not about anyone being in anyone’s debt. Or, you know, you are not in my debt. I just...” Atsida blushed as he looked at Connie. “Is it really so bad that I want to take care of you?”

“Ah, shit...” Connie mumbled as she sighed.

“Maybe... maybe I’m just doing it for myself, right? Not because I want to feel good about myself, just because... because I don’t want it to have been just us fooling around.”

Connie covered her face a her fingertips tried to drill through her skull. “Don’t make this harder than it already is...”

“Because... because what we had meant something. Or it did to me, I don’t need you to feel that way about me. I... you know...” Atsidas shrugged as he grimaced. “I love you, Kahaani the Human.”

Connie felt as if her entire body was about to bust. She had not felt this pissed and scared since she found out she was pregnant.

“ I have a new fight next week. A big one. This time I’m being paid 5000 coronets. And I thought, well... You think there could be enough money so... I could get a ticket for a boat sailing to Mino as well?”

Connie didn’t say anything.

“I mean... if that’s okay with you. I just thought I could help out when you get more pregnant... wait, is that what it is called? Or is it pregnanter or-”

Connie made it impossible for Atsidas to sound even dumber as she looped her arms around his neck in order to pull his head down to hers and kissed him. Confused for a split second, Atsidas then locked his arms around Connie and lifted her up as their lips were still connected.

“OUCH! You cut me!”

“What?!” Atsidas panicked and let go of the human girl. “What did I do? What did I do?!”

“Your tusk, it cut me.” Connie glared at her own feet as she nudged the tiny wound she had just received on her cheek.

“I-I-I I’m sorry!” Atsidas covered his tusks with his hands as if that should somehow help. “I forgot how thin human skin is compared to... I’m sorry.”

Both of them felt incredible embarrassed. But only for a moment as they went back to making out.

***

As Atsidas took his pants off, he suddenly realized something. "Ah, SHIT! I don't have any condoms!" He pulled his pants up. "Hold on, I will go to the butcher and get-"

"Who cares?" Connie lied on his mattress completely naked and rolled her eyes. "You already knocked me up, genius."

"Ah... oh." It took a second for the orc to let the logic sink in. "Oh. Oh yeah!" And then he dropped his pants.

***

Atsidas ran a hand through Connie's black hair while his other arm was wrapped around her back.

Connie lied on Atsidas' left side, resting her head on his chest, enjoying the feel of his warm, rough yet smooth green hide. She placed her hand on his right shoulder, stroking it. She could feel the bandage that was covering his injury from the fight.

Connie pulled herself free and sat up. Atsidas looked confused. "What's wrong?" He asked, nervously.

Connie sighed. “Okay, look... if this is going to work-”

“Yeah?!” Atsidas both blinked rapidly and swallowed.

“You have to promise me something.” She gave the orc a stern look. “And you have to say yes right away. If you even as much as hesitate-”

“Anything!” Atsidas smiled like a happy child. “I will do anything.”

“We do need the money. So next week is the last time you do this shit. We take the cash, leave the kingdom with the first boat we can find and you will never get in fights again.”

“Yeah. No problem.”

And then, Connie smiled. It was the first genuine smile she had made for a long time.

One week later...

Whatever hopes Connie might have had for starting a new life on Mino was shot down with a harpoon as she from ringside watched a human girl obliviate Atsidas’ face and kept beating him despite him looking half dead.

***

After Atsidas had been dragged out of the ring while still being glassy-eyed, Connie waited a moment before following the two big guys who had picked him up. They had gone to a back door and thrown him outside the building. Connie stood behind a staircase and waited for them to leave. Once they had, Connie went out the door and found Atsidas being left in the dirt.

“Sid?! Sid, say something!” She managed to lift the heavy orc up enough so he could lean against a wall and somewhat sit up. “Sid, are you okay?!”

The orc just breath in an unsettling way. Connie was unsure if he actually looked at her or if it was just an empty stare. His face was a mess, she almost puked looking at him. She tried to get him to stand, but even if she could then she realized putting this sort of strain on herself was not a great idea as she was pregnant.

“This is a load of shit...” Connie was stressing out as she pulled her own hair. "Shit. Shitshitshit..." She was starting to cry. “Wait here, okay? I have an idea.”

She went inside the building and realized that was a dumb thing to say as Atsidas was most likely unable to lift a finger or barely breath.

She got near to the ring again and started to go looking for satyrs with black wool. The creatures around paid her no mind as they were busy watching the harpy in the ring called Sweeper live up to her name.

She finally spotted Rosalio the Satyr who stood up and was swearing as it looked like he was gonna lose a second bet. He got startled as someone grabbed him by the shoulder. He turned and saw Connie. “What the- what do you want, human?”

Connie gave him a mean glare. Her cheeks were still wet from tears. “You. Help me. Now!”

“Help you with what exac... hey, don’t I know you from somewh-”

“Not important. Atsidas needs a healer. Help me get him to town.”

“Ah...” Rosalio scratched the wool on the back of his head. “Look, I don’t get what your deal is, but helping him would not be... smart.”

Connie’s eyes looked like they could burn a house down.

“See, these fights are not that... legal. So if we help him and someone is like Hey, this orc looks like he was in an underground fight club I could be in trouble since some might think I was at an underground-”

Rosalio got water splashed in the face. He could feel something cold poking his neck. He realized that it was ice in the shape of small arrow-heads.

Rosita blinked. “I know who you are! You are that crazy human bitch who can magic water and was trying to kill Atsi and me!”

Connie narrowed her eyes. “And if you don’t help me getting the orc to a healer right now, then I will freeze the blood in your veins.”

Rosalio dropped his betting slips. “You can do shit like that?!”

She couldn't.

“Damn right I can. Come on.” She had a firm grip around his wrist as she pulled him along to go help Atsidas as everyone else in the hall cried for blood.

***

Atsidas woke up with a terrible headache. He could only see out of one eye as the other one had been covered by bandages. Most of his face had been covered by bandages that had been dipped in healing salvia made from mushrooms. He was unsure why he lied in a bed he couldn’t recognize and was in a room that was far cleaner than any room he had ever been inside.

He was for a moment unsure why he had gotten hurt to begin with. But then he recalled the freckled human girl who had beat the ever-loving shit out of him. He turned his head and noticed a window. The sun was up, so he had been some hours since the fight. His entire body felt like an open wound as he managed to sit up.

“Yeah, I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” Atisdas saw that a male elf in a white tunic entered the room. On the chest of the tunic was sewn a green snake with red spots coming from it’s mouth. The spots were suppose to look like three red roses. The snake symbol meant the elf was a professional healer. “You need to lie down and let the enchanted salvia do its work on you. You have suffered a severe case of head trauma, and that’s putting it lightly. The body needs to rest, you are lucky that you aren’t braindead.” The healer looked at Atsidas as if he was something slimy that was dirtying the bed. The elf then turned his head toward the door. “You can come in now. Your... friend... is awake.”

As the elf left the room, Connie came in. She looked terrible, as if she had not slept at all. She had not. “Hi.”

“Hi.” Atsidas didn’t know what else to say. He lied down but leaned himself enough up so he could look at Connie. She looked somehow happy and miserable at the same time. “You wanna sit, or...?”

Connie took a seat at a chair next to the bed. “I told them you got hurt by some muggers. Not sure they are buying it.”

“Okay...” Atsidas felt ashamed.

“I mean, they don’t really have to know how you got hurt, right? I pay them to fix you. Done.” Connie made a half-assed laugh.

There was a long minute of awkward silence.

“Wait... how much does this cost?” Atsidas asked as he placed a finger on the bandages around his head.

“Um... I don’t think I wanna tell you that.”

“Aw, Connie, noooo...” Atsidas groaned, partly due to still feeling pain all over his head.

“Don’t worry, I still have some coronets left-”

“I knew the risk, okay? I knew I might get beaten to a pulp, you weren’t suppose to use that cash on getting me a healer, you didn’t owe me that.”

Connie made a bitter smile. “It’s not about anyone being in anyone’s debt. Is it really so bad that I want to take care of you?”

Atsidas narrowed his one open eye. “Hey... wasn’t that what I told you when-”

“Yes, genius.” Connie chuckled as she dried her eyes. “Gods, Sid. You are so-”

“You two should be ashamed!”

Connie and Atsidas turned their attention toward an elderly satyr who stood by the door and glared at them through her thick glasses. She were dressed in a gown worn by patients. “Disgusting. Perverts!” She then left.

“Yeah, it’s a small hospital.” Connie sighed. "Some healer noticed the bump on my stomach and... well, you know, they can put two and two together.” She shrugged. “And I guess gossip spreads fast here.”

Atsidas was unsure what to say. So he said nothing and moved himself to the left side of the bed and patted on the mattress. Connie accepted the invitation and got in the bed and hugged him as he hugged her back.

“I think I have to get out of town as soon as possible.” Connie kissed him on the cheek.

“Yeah, you probably should.”

"By the way...” Connie tightened her hug. “I love you too.”

#Atsidas the orc #atsidas #connie #connie the human #royal punch #connie x atsidas #atsidas x connie #orc #fantasy #Kahaani #Kahaani the human #Veronica #Veronica the Gorgon

[kattestrophe]

Ok, ok, last thing about Putlitz (for now)..

I know you’ve already read “Brandenburgische Geschichten” but I can’t get over how this is how he introduces Katte…

Apologies for the poor translation….

“

Torn, and the apparent proved that his mutation with the newly arrived guest had been right. Wrapped in his coat, in haste, a lieutenant from the gendarmes entered the room.

Another hasty greeting of the older officers, he approached the Wirth and asked about the Lieute nant von Spaen from the royal regiment.

The figure was not great, but skilful and strong, the attitude more the free of a world man than the stiffness of the then military. The face was tanned and torn apart by leaf scars, the bushy dark eye browns, which shaded a beautiful eye, gave him a gloomy expression on top, like the raised lips a little dry sensual. [NOTE: The exact word used was “Sinnliches.” I’m not fluent In German…. Is there…. Perhaps…. Another translation that I’m not familiar with?]

Nevertheless, the whole appearance had something Attractive. Youthful cockiness and graceful movements. 

The uniform, blue with red lapels, sequin vest and golden Balleten [NOTE: I can’t find a translation for this I’m sorry] bore the fight. (?) Traces of a quick ride, the high boots were sprinkled with feces, the hair in disarray. The young man had safely taken a seat, had taken off the thick riding gloves, and the most beautiful man's hand, decorated with brilliant rings, rested on the backrest of the armchair.”

Yeah, I love how he's all "Look at this mysterious hot stranger" and then Katte just can't keep his mouth shut to save his life for the following pages :'D Another thing I genuinely liked about Brandenburgische Geschichten, to my own surprise, was Katte's scene with Wilhelmine ("Her Royal Highness will be glad to hear that I am leaving forever and she never has to see me again!! :((" and "You have been talking about his plans and being in his favour with everyone you met!" "No never, I did not tell a soul!" *a few scenes earlier* "So the CROWN PRINCE, who likes me, is totally gonna run away if things don't change. See ya later, I'm being summoned by THE CROWN PRINCE!", he's such a dumbass idiot).

You did very well with your translation!! A few things that were perhaps slightly off/I tried my hand at to clear up possible misunderstandings:

The first sentence is incomplete, it's more like "He could not finish talking, the door was torn open and one look proved, that his assumption about the new guest had been correct."

Wirt[h] is the barkeep/tavern owner/guy who sells you beer

"The figure was not tall, but dextrous and strong, his posture more the free one of a worldly man [Weltmann is like... He is modern and has been travelling and knows what's up] than the stiff one of the military of the time."

Blatternnarben are pockmarks and his "full lips give him something defiantly sensual". Sensual is the proper translation of sinnlich in this context, I believe, which... Putlitz made a choice there :'D

"Nevertheless, the whole appearance had something attractive, spraying with youthful cockiness and the movements were graceful."

"paille Weste" is not a sequin vest (that would be Paillettenweste), although that would be very funny. Paille is an uncommon word for this yellowish beige colour of the military's vests and trousers. If I had to guess I'd say the Germans just used a French word there?

No idea what Balletten are. I know that the fancy uniform of the Gens d'armes had golden trims, so it's either that or maybe Putlitz gave him anachronistic epaulettes? People who know more about uniforms than I do, speak up (also why would he be wearing that uniform, iirc that was a privilege for special occasions and *only* for the Gens d'armes and he rakes it through the mud :'D Get your yellow leather riding fit, silly)

no matter what they are, the Balletten "carry the visible marks of a fast ride"

Kot does mean feces, you are correct in that, but it used to be used in a more general "dirt" kind of way. Since I don't know if the same is true in English I feel like I have to clear up that Katte doesn't show up there covered in shit, it is probably mud :'D

"The young man had exhaustedly thrown himself onto a chair, had taken off the thick riding gloves, and the most beautiful man's hand, decorated with brilliant diamond rings over which rich lace cuffs fell, rested on the [arm- or back]rest of the armchair." [my little drama queen, I adore Brandenburgische Geschichten Katte <3]

#hans hermann von katte #brandenburgische geschichten

[aesthetic-bastard]

Media Interaction 2022

Part 9: September

Cult of the Lamb - I felt a little skeptical about purchasing this game because I'm usually turned off by things that go along the lines of "super adorable thing is actually fucked up and edgy". I'm also not too big into stuff about the occult but I can't stand overly edgy insincere representation of cults in media. I decided to purchase this game anyway since certain aspects of Cult of the Lamb seemed fun to me like interacting with your cult followers.

I've never played a Roguelike game before and I found the gameplay quite addictive at times. Unfortunately, Cult of the Lamb lost my interest very quickly since I think a week after playing it I bought Yakuza 0 for very cheap and that drew my attention a lot more. I guess while playing Cult of the Lamb I enjoyed messing around with my followers more than I did going through the levels and story. But feeding my little animals their own feces can only be so funny so many times and my interest slipped away rapidly as I did essentially everything you can do with your followers like marrying them, killing them, cannibalizing them, sacrificing them, and so on. Edgy humor can only get so much out of me and besides doing things to nurture or torture my followers, an aspect of this game that tired me was the fact that your cult members can reach old age and then Die. It got very exhausting coming back from a quest and 3 of my followers have dropped dead and I need to bury their corpses which means I need to recruit new members. I liked naming all my followers after my friends but after recruiting so many I didn't have enough friends to keep naming all these silly little animals in my cult. Maybe someday in the new year I will come back to this game and finish it properly.

Silent hill 2 - This was another game this year I experienced vicariously through my friends streaming it for me over Discord. Even though I wasn't playing this game firsthand I have never interacted with a videogame that made me cry very hard and let me tell you how much of a struggle that was while being on a voice call. Despite being an action horror game the atmosphere of Silent Hill is very cozy and the ambiance is also fantastic. I love James Sunderland and I think he's an exceptional character with real emotions and flaws. I say flaws, not in a negative way but that he is human and learns to accept and overcome his actions in the story (at least depending on your outcome by the end of the game) I like that Silent Hill is a place people are mysteriously drawn to and each person's experience in Silent Hill is unique to them. It feels like a place you enter and your experiences either make or break you as a person.

Lost in Vivo - Yet another game I experience vicariously through my friends streaming it to me. Most of the time when my friends stream me horror games I don't feel fear or any other sensations associated with these types of games but while watching through my friend's playthrough of Lost in Vivo I felt intense fear. We finished this game together in about 3 hours and my hands were clammy the entire time I watched. Despite being very short and filled with jump scares I was amazed by the dark subject matter this game touches on such as eating disorders, abusive relationships, and body dysphoria. I think Lost in Vivo handles these subjects sincerely and is a horror game about overcoming these intense traumas by navigating through the sewers to find your lost therapy dog.

No More Heroes 3 - I can't remember which month I initially started playing No More Heroes 3 (I think it was February) but it took me a while to wrap this game up which it shouldn't have. After completing the NMH series, I think NMH3 is my favorite followed by NMH1. NMH3 takes everything from the first game and amplifies it to perfection almost making it like a direct sequel that NMH2 should have been. Since I first started playing this directly after I wrapped up Travis Strikes Again in January, it felt really good to get back into the combat style of the mainline NMH games. A feature in NMH3 that I just loved was the time machine and being able to challenge previous bosses. I'm still relatively new to action games so it's very satisfying using the time machine to practice on bosses and grind for materials. The open world is great, and I'm an absolute whore regarding collectibles because I planted all 100 fucking palm trees across every destination. There's a lot to keep you busy in NMH3 besides going through the story and I found myself spending a lot of time doing all sorts of things whether it was jobs, missions, or collecting items. I feel bad that for a short while I dropped this game and didn't come back to it until later in the year to knock it off my list. I feel like after completing the NMH series I am a different person and I have taken an incredible journey with expanding my interests and sharing my thoughts.

Obey Me - I don't play very many mobile games and my phone is usually clear of any of these types of apps but every once in a while I need some sort of entertainment on my phone to pass the time. I saw Obey Me popped up in the app store and knew this was a dating sim and I downloaded it for shits and giggles since I can't understand the appeal of otome games. After finding out right away that Obey Me is actually a gacha game instead of a full dating sim my interest dwindled very quickly but Obey Me does something no other otome game can compare. Most otome games feature a bland female main character typically characterized by brown hair and glasses that act as the player's self-insert. A huge issue I have with otome games is that all the male love interests only ever treat the female MC like a damsel in distress and speak in a patronizing manner. I've never found this kind of writing to be attractive or romantic to me and I've always known these kinds of games simulate superficial romance. Obey Me, on the other hand, does not feature a female MC but instead, you are represented in the game as a gender-neutral anthropomorphic sheep. Every character in Obey Me also communicates to you with gender-neutral terms and never treats you as if you are vulnerable. At times the dialogue is a little too corny for me but I feel that it's so important that a game like Obey Me is gender inclusive and that anyone can be the MC of this game and simulate romance regardless of gender. I feel that Obey Me is a huge step forward for being an inclusive dating sim with writing that isn't condescending. I'm hoping to come back to Obey Me someday and try and pursue a few characters since I did end up liking a small handful of male love interests.

#media interaction 2022

[leossmoonn]

quick question… who/what things would you not write for regarding smut 👀

Well I write smut for all the characters I write for. If you’re wondering abt that look at my pinned post and click on masterlist and click on all the links, or you can go on my taglist bc that’s an actual list of the characters I write for

As for what things. Absolutely no anal. I just… can’t shake the feeling that’s where shit comes out of lmfao. No harmful BDSM. I’m not making the reader cry because the character is actually hurting them (no matter if it’s consensual). Um, lots of kinks like no piss kink, no age play, child play, feces kinks, etc. Not my thing, never will be lol. Any dark themes you can probably think of. I don’t mind, for example, enemies to lovers and there are some intense scenes, but nothing that involves either character getting physically hurt — no abuse or anything like that.

Also, you must be 16+ to be requesting and reading smut on my page. I know people younger than than that read smut, I was one of those people, but I realize that kids who are 13 should not be consuming this. especially since there are lots of dark smut plots and plus it can lead them to have sex irl and no one needs 14 year olds pregnant.

#anon #ask #sara.nsfw

[jadenoryuu]

Going Merry Go? 👀 (from one piece? 👀👀)

Ding ding ding!

We have a winner!

That's one of the WiPs I have in Italian! You get mochi points!

Anyway yes, that's about our beloved defunct ship from One Piece.

In particular the WiP is narrated in her PoV and describes her last day before the Viking Funeral (I stopped writing just when the Strawhats jump from the Bridge of Enies Lobby to reach the Merry, but the intention was to end the WiP at her death.)

After the cut there's a snippet both in English and Italian as a bonus.

Italian:

I minuti in cui combatté strenuamente la forza della natura si trasformarono in ore, prima che il mare si calmasse quel tanto da farla rilassare un poco e farla concentrare esclusivamente sulla velocità e non su quale onda avrebbe potuto sfasciarla.

In quei momenti di relativa calma si ritrovò a pensare a quella ciurma pazza e sconclusionata. Chissà cosa stavano facendo in quel momento?

Prima che Iceburg la trovasse, aveva sentito un secondo treno fischiare in lontananza. Forse erano loro…

Se solo fosse stata più forte, sarebbe stata lei ad accompagnarli…

Se solo fosse stata più forte, il suo scafo non sarebbe stato ridotto in quel modo e i suoi due nàkama non si sarebbero sfidati a duello per colpa del suo stato…

Uno sbuffo di vento un po’ più forte degli altri fece cigolare il sartiame e una delle porte non chiuse a chiave sbatté, riscuotendola da quegli oscuri pensieri.

Sì, poteva essere colpa sua, tuttavia lei aveva fatto tutto quello che aveva potuto per poterli portare perlomeno in quell’isola.

Aveva resistito così tanto soltanto per essere sicura che loro riuscissero a cavarsela anche senza di lei, che fossero al sicuro.

Ora però che erano stati separati così brutalmente, quel diritto le era stato tolto, soprattutto visto che la ciurma era stata divisa e sparsa.

Era dunque suo compito rimediare a questa faccenda.

Fece un fischio lungo acuto e penetrante, come per chiamare i nàkama dispersi, come per avvisarli che stava arrivando. Chissà se qualcuno l’aveva sentita…

English:

The minutes where she fought hard against the force of nature turned into hours, before the sea calmed down just enough for her to relax a little and focus solely on her speed and not on which wave could have smashed her.

In those moments of relative calm, she found herself thinking about that crazy, rambling crew. Who knows what they were doing at the time?

Before Iceburg found her, she had heard a second train whistling in the distance. Maybe it was them…

If only she had been stronger, she would have accompanied them…

If only she had been stronger, her hull would not have been reduced that way and her two nàkama wouldn't have challenged each other to a duel because of her state …

A puff of wind a little stronger than the others made the rigging creak and one of her unlocked doors slammed, rousing her from those dark thoughts.

Yes, it could have been her fault, however she had done everything she could to at least bring them to that island.

She had lasted so long just to make sure they could get by without her, that they were safe.

But now that they had been separated so brutally, that right had been taken away from her, especially since the crew had been divided and scattered.

It was therefore her duty to remedy this matter.

She made a long, high-pitched, piercing whistle, as if to call for the scattered nakama, as if to warn them that she was coming. Who knows if anyone had heard it …

#the dragon answers #wip title tag #wip title game #one piece #going merry #go Strawberry go! #you like OP as well?! 👀 #fic snippet #Italian version #English version #thank you for the ask! #hope you enjoy

[gyarubloodbath]

BUTCHER

character: denji, makima tags:+18, cannibalism, violence synopsis: denji is preparing miss makima for dinner. art by @KRK_1010 on X all edits are mine

the oil in the pan sizzles, splashes on the skin of the guy's hands, piercing with needles while he squints his eyes, — swears, — turns over the burnt meat with a wooden spatula. the room has been stuffy for an hour now, — it makes you sweat, breathing carbon dioxide, compresses, squeezes out all the moisture, dehydrates, — settles on the windows with sticky touches when the snow is crying outside. the smell turns your head, hugs your nose, tickles your nostrils and brains. (the dog broke loose with foam at the mouth.) drool stupidly flows down from his chin and drips onto the old-fashioned carpet.

ᅠ naked and funny, the woman is lying right on his kitchen table. denji cleaned it in a "mutton" way. painfully tied the ankles of the legs with a rope with thick villi and hooked it on a hook, before that he slashed well with a large and sharp knife from the adam's apple, dissecting the arteries, to the red pubis. the same red picture appeared in front of him, ingrained in his eyes, — spraying a powerful stream of blood directly into the cornea, a dark soothing mist enveloping the entire room. the skin revealed the whole world. blood dripped onto the unnecessary rags hastily and hastily spread out under the hanging corpse, completely absorbed into them, falling out from under them in a harmless puddle. at the same time, denji looks at her. the woman's head, with that habitually cloying scythe, rested on the countertop, in a deep plate. a peaceful face hides something. the feeling that she will abruptly open her spiral eyes, smile as usual, wave her hands, whisper something and he will unconditionally obey her whims. for example, it will untie you. but that's not going to happen. it will never happen again.

makima.

with a small knife, denji cut out the woman's internal organs, throwing them into a black bag. he hadn't figured out what he was going to do with them yet, and he didn't really want to think about it. the young brain has read everything, seen and tried a lot. he beats his wrists against his ribs. there is a cacophony of smell in the room: fresh dead meat, nauseating blood and shit that the guy is cleaning out of the rectum right now. he grimaces, resists, and almost vomits. there is a sticky lump in my throat of everything that denji ate today. the fingers are poorly protected by toilet paper, which has already absorbed all the female "juices". no matter how hard he tried, his fingers were still smeared with feces, his hands themselves were up to the elbows in blood, his face was in this disgusting mess of blood, sweat, feces, phosphorus, urine and fat. already accustomed to its taste, smell and appearance, denji does not notice how he inhales its drops with his nose, licks them from his lips. but when blood flows into the nasopharynx, it seems to him that the pressure has risen.

a neat process — is skin removal. with the same knife, he, like a jeweler, grabs the thickest layer of it with the blade. coming into contact with metal, the dermis flies off with a bang into the same bag with organs. he is patient, his work is painstaking and he will be rewarded to match satan's ball.

the scream reverberates through the room when the bird crashes into the window. a little bird's blood, feces and bugs are smeared on the glass, which, in all probability, she carried in her beak or paws. the tense, ephemeral silence immediately resumed, as soon as the feathered bird shook itself off and rushed from the windowsill to the concrete with a black wing. it looks like there's new concrete. by this time, denji had managed to put the meat madness on the floor (previously covered with an unnecessary tablecloth), splashing a basin of blood on the floor. a new cry and a new, mixed mate hissed and flew out like a bird in a window: «b-b-bick...»

and, before proceeding to the complete butchering of the carcass, denji turns the severed head to face himself, soiling the back of his head, hair and bridge of his nose with her blood and everything accompanying it. the neck flies off into the cellophane. «can cook soup from her or fry cutlets…» the guy is now wielding an axe, swinging at the joints of his shins and arms. turning her belly down, the chainsaw man passes over the woman's back, at the level of the sacral spine, dividing the carcass into front and back halves.

we have come to what we started with.

the atmosphere changed dramatically after the massacre. the guy has already put the chopped, well-fried parts of his beloved woman on a plate. the torso remained, covered with oil, special spices, vigorous in both colors and taste, stuck (from the beginning of the anus to the base of the neck) directly on a bare pin. he will still play with it, decide what is better to cook: shish kebab or leave it as it is, or maybe pickle it. the rest of her body continues to roast, boil, and steam… makima's head is peacefully lying directly opposite. previously tenacious, warm and incredible. he tastes the meat clean, without any kneading, sauces, side dishes and vegetables…

delicious.

#chainsaw man #makima #csm

[pesttherapy]

Roach-Free Zone: Conquering Cockroach Infestations

Caution: Cockroach Infestations Ahead – How to Keep Your Home Critter-Free

Cockroach infestations can be a nightmare for any homeowner. These resilient pests are not only unsightly but also carry various diseases and allergens that can pose serious health risks to you and your family. To keep your home critter-free, it’s important to take proactive measures in preventing cockroach infestations.

First and foremost, maintaining cleanliness is key. Cockroaches are attracted to food sources, so make sure to keep your kitchen clean and free of crumbs or spills. Regularly emptying trash cans and sealing all food containers will help deter these unwanted guests from invading your space.

In addition to cleanliness, it’s essential to seal off any entry points that cockroaches may use to enter your home. Inspect the exterior of your house for cracks or gaps in windows, doors, or walls. Use caulk or weatherstripping materials to seal these openings effectively. Additionally, consider installing door sweeps on exterior doors as an extra barrier against roach infiltration.

By following these simple yet effective tips, you can significantly reduce the risk of cockroach infestations in your home. Remember that prevention is always better than dealing with an established problem later on. Stay vigilant and take action promptly if you suspect even the slightest signs of a potential roach invasion – it’s crucial for maintaining a critter-free living environment for you and your loved ones.

cockroach exterminator near me

Identifying the Enemy: Recognizing Signs of Cockroach Infestations

Cockroaches are nocturnal creatures that prefer to hide in dark, damp places during the day. Therefore, one of the first signs of a cockroach infestation is spotting them scurrying away when you turn on the lights or open cabinets in the kitchen or bathroom. These pests are fast and agile, so catching a glimpse of them can be challenging. However, if you consistently see cockroaches during daylight hours, especially in multiple areas of your home, it’s likely that you have an infestation.

Another sign to look out for is their droppings. Cockroach feces resemble small black or brown specks and can often be found near their hiding spots or along baseboards and countertops. If you notice an increase in these droppings around your home, it may indicate a growing population of cockroaches.

Additionally, a musty odor in certain areas of your house could point towards a cockroach infestation. These insects emit pheromones that create a distinct smell which becomes more noticeable as their numbers increase. If you detect an unpleasant scent lingering in specific rooms or corners, it’s worth investigating further for potential roach activity.

By being aware of these signs – sightings during daytime hours, finding droppings around your home, and detecting unusual odors – you can identify whether there is a potential cockroach problem within your living space without delay. Remember to act promptly upon recognizing any signs as early intervention will help prevent further infestations from occurring.

The Dirty Truth: Understanding the Dangers of Cockroach Infestations

Cockroach infestations pose a significant threat to both our physical health and overall well-being. These pests are known carriers of various diseases, including salmonella, typhoid fever, and dysentery. Additionally, their shed skin and feces can trigger allergies and asthma symptoms in individuals who are sensitive to them. The presence of cockroaches in our homes not only compromises our hygiene but also puts us at risk of contracting serious illnesses.

One major concern with cockroach infestations is the contamination they bring into our living spaces. As these insects scuttle through unsanitary areas such as sewers, garbage bins, and decaying matter, they pick up harmful bacteria along the way. When they later invade our kitchens or pantries, they leave behind traces of these pathogens on surfaces where food is prepared or stored. Consuming contaminated food can lead to severe gastrointestinal issues that require medical attention.

Furthermore, cockroaches can exacerbate respiratory conditions such as asthma due to their allergenic properties. Their droppings contain proteins that can trigger allergic reactions when inhaled by susceptible individuals. This can result in symptoms like coughing, wheezing, chest tightness, and difficulty breathing. For those already struggling with respiratory problems or weakened immune systems, the presence of cockroaches may worsen their condition significantly.

Understanding the dangers associated with cockroach infestations highlights the urgency for effective prevention measures and prompt extermination methods if an infestation occurs. By maintaining proper cleanliness standards within our homes and implementing regular pest control practices, we can minimize the risks posed by these resilient creatures. Remember: vigilance is key when it comes to keeping your home free from critters that threaten your health and peace of mind

Preventative Measures: Tips to Keep Cockroaches at Bay

To keep cockroaches at bay and prevent infestations in your home, there are several preventative measures you can take. First and foremost, it is crucial to maintain cleanliness and proper sanitation practices. Cockroaches are attracted to food residue, crumbs, and dirty dishes left out overnight. Therefore, make sure to clean up spills immediately, store food in airtight containers, and regularly empty garbage bins.

Another effective way to deter cockroaches is by sealing off any entry points into your home. These pests can squeeze through even the tiniest cracks or gaps in walls, windowsills, or doors. Inspect your house thoroughly for potential entryways and seal them using caulk or weatherstripping as necessary.

Additionally, reducing moisture levels in your home will help discourage cockroach activity. These insects thrive in damp environments such as leaky pipes or areas with poor ventilation. Fix any plumbing issues promptly and use dehumidifiers if needed to keep humidity levels low.

By implementing these preventative measures consistently and maintaining a clean living space free of attractants like food debris or excess moisture, you can greatly reduce the risk of a cockroach infestation taking hold in your home. Stay vigilant with regular inspections and address any signs of an infestation promptly to ensure a critter-free environment for you and your family.

Taking Action: Effective Cockroach Extermination Methods

Cockroach infestations can be a real nuisance, but there are effective methods you can take to exterminate these pests. One method is using cockroach baits or traps. These products contain a poison that attracts the roaches and kills them when they consume it. Simply place the baits or traps in areas where you have seen cockroach activity, such as near their hiding places or along their travel routes.

Another effective method for cockroach extermination is using insecticide sprays. Look for sprays specifically designed to target cockroaches and follow the instructions carefully when applying them. It’s important to spray all potential hiding spots, including cracks and crevices, baseboards, and behind appliances.

In addition to baits and sprays, maintaining cleanliness in your home is crucial for preventing and eliminating cockroach infestations. Keep your kitchen clean by regularly wiping down countertops, sweeping up crumbs, and promptly washing dishes. Make sure to seal any food containers tightly so as not to attract roaches with easy access to food sources. Taking these actions will help reduce the likelihood of attracting these unwanted critters into your living space without having to resort solely on chemical treatments.

Read More

[gillespielaustsen66]

Get Rid of Dust Mites

Introduction

Dust mites are tiny, microscopic pests that can cause severe allergic reactions, particularly in individuals with dust mite allergies or asthma. These tiny creatures are a common problem in households, especially in warm, humid climates. Dust mites live in bedding, upholstery, carpets, and other soft materials, feeding on dead skin cells and other organic matter. Their feces and body fragments are the allergens that can trigger allergic reactions in humans. In this article, we will discuss dust mite bites and protect your home from these unwanted pests.

1. Identify the Problem

The first step in getting rid of dust mites is identifying their presence in your home. Common signs of a dust mite infestation include:

* Allergic reactions such as sneezing, watery eyes, and runny nose. * Asthma symptoms like wheezing, shortness of breath, and chest tightness. * Dark brown or reddish stains on bedding or upholstery. * Itchiness, particularly around the face or neck.

If you suspect a dust mite infestation, consider consulting with an experienced pest control professional who can help identify and eliminate the problem.

2. Maintain a Clean Environment

A clean home is essential in combating dust mites. Regularly vacuum, dust, and clean surfaces to reduce the amount of organic material available for dust mites to feed on. Be sure to vacuum carpets, upholstery, and bedding, as these are common hiding places for dust mites.

3. Use Allergen-Reducing Bedding and Furniture

Invest in bedding and furniture designed to reduce allergen exposure. Look for products with mite-proof covers, hypoallergenic materials, and low-pile surfaces. These products can help create an inhospitable environment for dust mites, making it easier to keep your home mite-free.

4. Control Relative Humidity

Dust mites thrive in humid environments. To combat this, maintain a relative humidity level below 50% in your home. Use a dehumidifier or air conditioner to help regulate the humidity levels in your living spaces.

5. Freeze and Launder Contaminated Items

If you suspect that bedding or other soft items in your home are infested with dust mites, freezing them for at least 24 hours can kill off the mites. Then, wash the items in hot water (130°F or 54°C) and dry them on the highest heat setting. This will help ensure that any remaining mites are eliminated.

6. Seek Professional Pest Control Services

If you are unable to effectively manage a dust mite infestation yourself, consider enlisting the help of a professional pest control service. They can assess your home, identify the sources of infestation, and implement a customized plan to eradicate the problem.

Conclusion

Dust mites can be a significant nuisance, causing allergic reactions and exacerbating existing respiratory conditions. By maintaining a clean home, investing in allergen-reducing products, and managing humidity levels, you can help protect your home from these unwanted pests. If necessary, seek professional help from a qualified pest control service to ensure that your home remains a safe and healthy environment for you and your family.

#dust mite bites

[its-bill]

TWE Vol.1 Prologue: “Inhumanity”

It’s cold, the night wind from outside made the damp cave temperature unbearable for the child whose body only wrapped in worn out clothing. His malnourished body trembled as he clenched his fist and teeth and two tired eyes could be seen on the child’s dirty face. One ought to get it that the sad thing tried to survive. Keeping his eyes open no matter how much the desire to rest them begs him.

Since he couldn’t afford to, afraid that any stray beast might get him. Funny how the situation seemed, the child wouldn’t even get to fend any beast off with that frail body of his.

He miraculously survived until now by feeding himself sorts of grass, bearable to his tongue and bitter water dripped from the cave ceiling that had mixed with bat feces. For five days and five nights. Yet tonight might be the last of his struggle. The heartbeats of the little guy changed by the second, this was the only far he could manage. He rested those eyes.

❁●⸻

A small laugh echoed deep within the same cave. It was a man in a ragged traditional Malay dress, adorned with what seemed to be stained metallic jewelries, reminiscence of a royalty. His long grizzled black hair lengths to his shoulders as they covered his face and fangs which were now bared by a grin.

“The little meat stopped breathing.”

Only now that he muttered some words, he watched the child from when the child first arrived at the cave.

Living here all this time there was nothing he could entertain himself with, until just recently. It was pretty amusing as he watched it enter here to shelter itself from the heavy rain. Shivered as it entered that day, huddled as of now. Even though breathless.

It foraged the weeds that grew here, ate any insects that passed by and crunched its thirst with that dirty water dripped from the stalactites above.

The second day it seemed to had a little bit of energy when it attempted to catch the hanged bats for a few times, threw sticks and rocks at them. Yet all of that was futile.

Third day, it found Seridara. A tiny flower with five petals that glowed green in the dark. The thing was joyful when it uncovered the flower between two rocks. It was still here, the little thing didn’t pluck it out. It arranged the rocks to make a circle around the flower even. He guessed it liked the flower.

Fourth to fifth day, it only sat looked at the flower and did nothing else. He didn’t know what was going on in its head these two days and the night of the fifth, this night it stopped to move.

“No.”

He unconsciously said that, why? Did he grew fond of the creature these past few days? He wasn’t sure, but he didn’t want his sole amusement to be gone.

He walked slowly towards where the child was and no rush could be seen, his dignity as of royal blood refrain from him doing so. He also swiftly catched a bat from the ceiling along his walk.

The bat wriggle and screech with pain in his grasp as he clawed its gallbladder out.

This cave bats were unique since they feed solely on a type of plant outside which had a property that was very conductive to electric made their own Geliga stone contain the same attribute albeit just a small amount. But this was enough.

He inserted the stone down the throat of the lifeless child to a position near the heart and drag the body by the hand to the outside of the cave that invited him with loud thunders.

“No, you can’t, i want my meat fresh.”

As the body was out a lightning struck it right away like hungrily snatched a meal that was given to it. A loud boom followed, the first it struck the body twitched. The second time, life entered the eyes and the third time scream erupted.

“Enter the cave.” he said to the child he just brought from the dead.

❁●⸻

The pitiful thing awake from what was to him a little nap, when he felt a strong feeling of something hit his chest and let out a voice he never did all his life. Tears flowed as he began to think of his death, unbeknown he just gone through it.

They found me! “Please i dont want to die.” he shouted while he prayed that they, the bad people he thought got him, still had a shred of humanity left for them to not succumb to their desire to kill him.

“Who’s going to kill you, meat?”

The child then heard someone speak to him, an arrogant voice by the tone. Though felt, that someone cared for him, cared for his well-being.

“Who are you?”

“Come inside before you are burnt.”

❁●⸻

The man stared at the child from what appeared to be a throne carved from a slab of black rock. His red eyes normally would strike fear on anyone. Yet the child felt strange comfort in them.

“Thank you mister.”

“Hmm.”

He gave a brief respond and due to a child’s curiosity, the conversation was easy to be continued by using useless topics spontaneously came to mind.

“Ah mister! your nails are so long, how many months you don’t cut it?” the child looked at the man hands and feet, they lengths more than a finger and seemed sharp enough to do more than graze someone’s flesh if ever happen to touch.

“In a quiet some time.” he uninterestedly glanced over his own fingers then glanced back to the child, seemed livelier than before after gaining the energy back from all the food he fed.

It look more appetizing now, but i guess it need more time to become plump. A few more days of feeding perhaps? The goats on this mountain are plenty enough.

These were his thoughts, nevertheless they didn’t have any real evil meaning, in truth he wished for the child to be healthy again.

#thewiltingepics #vol.1kingofaburntpalace

[leonbloder]

Christ Pantocrator & Donkeys: A Journey In Santorini

The island of Santorini off the coast of mainland Greece is part of a large caldera--a large depression formed after the eruption of an ancient volcano.  

It's an eerie feeling when you realize this when you are on a ship docked smack dab in the middle of what used to be the top of a mountain. 

The villages of Santorini are located high above the natural harbor of the caldera and can only be reached by cable car, a donkey ride, or a hike up the same walkway used by the donkeys.  

The last option is not ideal.  

Neither is the second option if I'm being brutally honest.  The donkeys of Santorini have a particularly pungent odor, punctuated by the odor of the walkway, which also serves as the donkey's restroom.  

More on that later. 

One of the most striking features of the village of Fira is the Orthodox Metropolitan Cathedral, located on one of the most picturesque streets on the island.  The Cathedral is filled with beautiful artwork and icons, a cacophony of color everywhere your eye falls. 

But the round, vaulted ceiling of the Cathedral is where not only your gaze will follow as you look around, but it contains the most important piece of art in the building--Christ Pantocrator. Christ Pantocrator, Orthodox Metropolitan Cathedral, Fira, Santorini

The depiction of Christ Pantocrator on the ceiling of the Cathedral is not an unusual piece of art in the Orthodox tradition. The name Pantocrator means "All Mighty" or "All-Powerful," and it's drawn from Jesus' own words when he tells his disciples: 

"All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me."

Another more literal translation of the word "Pantocrator" is one that I particularly like: "Sustainer of the World."   The image of Jesus in most of the Pantocrator depictions places him on a throne, or "on high," and holding the Gospels while making a gesture with his right hand that signifies teaching or blessing. 

I found the artwork in the Cathedral inspiring, and I also noted that no matter where you walked in front of the altar, the eyes of Christ Pantocrator seemed to be following you.  

Much later, after enjoying a spectacular sunset with a nice cold beer in an outdoor cafe, I attempted to return to the cable car for my trip back to the harbor. But the line for the cable car was at least an hour and a half long. 

At that point, I decided (against my better judgment) to take the  690+ steps down to the harbor instead of waiting in a long line for the cable car.  If you recall, these steps are the ones trod by the donkeys of Santorini, which meant... well, you can imagine what it meant.  

Suffice it to say, the walk down was filled with several hundred twists and turns and no small amount of donkey feces and urine puddles to dodge.  What you couldn't dodge was the stench, which permeated the air, stung my nostrils, and almost made me delirious. 

I made it down, eventually, and was able to freshen myself up before dinner and also spray an inordinate amount of Versace cologne upon me to rid my nose of the remembered donkey stench. 

I've had some time to reflect on my journey that day.  It took me to the heights of faith with the eyes of the Christ Pantocrator following me to the lows of trudging along a soiled path in the dark.  

This is what life is like some days, isn't it?  

One moment, we are filled with the intense feeling that the love and grace of Christ is all around us, and we're watching a sunset explode with color and believing we are one with the Universe. 

And the next, we're trying to find our way around donkey poop on a dark descent into God-knows-where.  

But through it all, the eyes of Christ Pantocrator are upon us.  The One who assumed the task of creating, sustaining, and redeeming from before the beginning of time is covering us in grace in our highest of highs and lowest of lows. 

May this knowledge give you defiant hope amid your struggles in the dark.  May this truth bring you peace that passes understanding.  

And may the grace and peace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you now and always. Amen.  

#presbymusings #dailydevotion #leonbloder #dailydevo #dailydevotional #christian living #leon bloder #faith #spiritualgrowth #spirituality #santorini #Christ Panotcrator #jesus

[artemisthestupidturtle]

Friendly reminder to all you existentials out there

Your entire existence is about as significant as a single grain of sand in the vast eternal desert of time...

Right???

NO.

Life has meaning beyond just your carbon footprint. You have to remember that while, yes, eternity can engulf everything into the vast, all-encompassing void of nonexistence, it in and of itself is also infinite. Like a potato growing in the dark, cold cabinet above your refrigerator, life found a way to happen. Everything in the universe is flux. You are literally made out of the remnants of dead stars. In other words, you and everyone else in existence is a part of the universe's way of experiencing itself.

Also, you have to remember that every grain of sand is fucking ENORMOUS compared to the microscopic organisms that live in your gut. They are just as alive as you, but if they somehow managed to see a grain of sand for what it was, they would wonder how ANYONE could think of that as insignificant. It's all about your perspective.

One last thing: if you're a grain of sand in a desert, you also have to remember that there is power in that. All it takes is the right motivation and sand can become a beautiful work of blown glass. Just as quickly, that work of blown glass can shatter and scatter all across the floor, strongly resembling the very same sand it originally was. That's what life is. It's not just a line: it's a beautiful cycle. After you die, assuming you aren't mummified, your body will begin to decompose. Mushrooms will grow using the remaining nutrients and carbon in your body as food. From there, they will be eaten by different animals, which will ultimately defecate them. That feces, rich with the nutrients provided by your generous corpse, will act as fertilizer for plants to grow. Sure, your body might be dead after only a century, but your nutrients will continue to circle throughout the universe until the end of time.

I know I often make jokes about nihilism, but I think it's important to remember that the laws of conservation of mass and energy can absolutely provide comfort in reminding us that we are an eternal and crucial part of the universe. Even if Earth is truly the only planet in our universe that has evolved complex life, that just means that our roles as living organisms are that much more important. As mentioned before, we are the universe experiencing itself.

So next time you get that sinking feeling that your existence right here, right now, is meaningless and nothing you do really matters, remember the sand in the desert that made a beautiful stained-glass window. Remember the bacteria in your gut that depend on you to feed them just as much as you depend on them. Remember the beauty in the fact that life as we know it is created from the ghosts of long dead stars. And remember that even after you're gone, your remains will still help other lifeforms.

#serious post #existentialism #friendly reminder #ily all #idk how to tag this #something something motivational speech #motivation

[cocogum]

Koroks are the bane of my existence.

(pointless ranting ahead)

You know that weird feeling that you get when you’re in the bathroom and you’re almost done doing the business but your booty hole is internally hurting cuz you keep forcing yourself but nothing is coming out despite the fact that you know it’s there and it won’t get out?

That’s what a korok feels like.

Every time I see these little feces roaming around the woods with their weak ass twig legs hanging out from their disgusting and musty body, it makes me wanna commit arson on their whole families.

I swear, when I say I LOATH these little shits, I really mean it.

Koroks were a mistake to be brought into life.

If I see even one of them doing something simple like breathing and standing, IT’S ON SIGHT.

I don’t know how some of y’all think they can be cute.

Like there really be fangirls looking at them and screeching about how their bodies look like marshmallows, how they move around with their little leaves, or how their voices sound adorable and innocent to listen to.

i’m sorry what?

what did you say?

Their voices????

How are you so delusional to the point where you would believe that their high-pitched ear-bleeding voices can be soothing to hear??

These rodents are nothing close to ‘innocent’.

You could be climbing a cliff with the utmost serious concentration you’ve ever pulled off and when you think you’ve almost climbed the whole way up, one of these freaks would suddenly pop up out of nowhere and jump at you, ruining all of your progress by making you fall into the dark pits of what we call DEATH.

They will not stop ruining your improvements and will look for any way to make your day a shitty one by making you subconsciously play their stupid game with them.

You have to let the game make you hear 900 times their stupid ass “YAhAHa YoU fOunD mE!” dialogue AND let them do their pathetic small (thank god) dance till they disappear.

You can also stop searching for them once you hit the number 441 cuz that’s when it maxes out your inventory but still, who the hell decided to stop at 441?

That’s not even a good number.

You couldn’t have just stopped at 444?

That number sounds much better than 441.

But anyways.

900.

Would you go that far?

They even specifically stated that you guys don’t have to catch all 900.

Like what kind of idiot would go around the WHOLE map to find exactly 900 koroks???

Not only is that shit so time-consuming AND there is no useful reward for getting them all, but you also have to carry these.

You have to carry these.

Your nasty ass has to carry feces.

And you know they’re feces.

Because once you give them all to the Deku Tree, he literally shoves them all together to make a golden shit.

The shits turned into one huge golden shit.

Are you proud of yourself.

Are you proud of accomplishing this quest.

How can you sleep at night not thinking about the things you had to do to acquire them.

How can you go up to your friends and show them what you accomplished.

Matter of fact, can you even consider this an ‘accomplishment’?

How dare you.

Remember when Koroks used to be kids?

Well they’re not kids cuz they’re technically adults but you know what I meant.

Yeah…

I sure miss that time.

I mean yeah they were called kokiris and this was pretty much an old evolution but still.

I miss when they used to look like that.

They were so iconic.

They weren’t a pain to catch, their voices didn’t sound too high pitched, they actually had personalities (can you believe that?) and one of them became one of the seven sages.

Now they just look like this.

Doesn’t feel the same when you compare them, now does it?

Looks disappointing right?

Comparing them next to each other almost makes you question how the hell did they end up this way.

But judging by their….uh…. ‘adorable transformation’ like some would say, (*gags*) I don’t wanna know how they turned out like this.

I just feel like the process would be…painful?

Cuz like…. how the hell does human skin turn into….uh. Well THAT.

That’s not-

That’s not possible.

Not even evolution can do that on its own unless they had some kind of shitty gene already placed in their cells to begin with.

I literally have no idea what I’m saying anymore.

I’m trying to come up with a logical explanation for this but I can see that I’m just pulling shit out of my own ass at this point.

I think there was a youtube video explaining that topic exactly but I don’t remember if I actually saw it or if it’s just my mind screwing with me.

Oh well.

Looks like we’ll never know.

I’m too lazy to search for it but if you know a video like that send it to me (put it on my wall or something).

So in short, koroks are something that exists now and if they ever touch me I’m calling the Guardians on their asses.

(also i used to think koroks were edible)

#loz #legend of zelda #loz koroks #loz botw #legend of zelda breath of the wild #loz rants #loz rantings #loz rant #loz ranting #legend of zelda ranting #legend of zelda rantings #legend of zelda rants #legend of zelda rant #the legend of zelda