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#dad still in the hospital and i still don’t Rly know what’s going on but im going to work :’)
zodiacsea · 3 months
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the horrors are unending truly
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smilehoya · 1 year
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Okay so spoilers under the cut for AIB s2 things that I wish they had added / I have a problem with / I liked !
- SPOILERS -
* I honestly liked that Niragi didn’t have a ‘redemption’ arc, not really. He was a little more toned down then how he was at the beach, but also maybe that’s a mixture of he wasn’t killing people every two seconds like he was when they were doing the witch game, and also maybe because we didn’t see him a whole bunch? But yeah, i’m all for letting bad guys be bad guys.
* also I CACKLED at how within two seconds of Niragi and Chishiya seeing each other again, Niragi shoots Chishiya and tHIS MOTHERFUCKER proceeds to then lie on the ground in a ‘pose’ and complain ‘you didn’t even hit me anywhere vital on purpose’ while looking wholly unimpressed and then thru started bickering like an old married couple.
* Chishiya’s game with what’s his face (the 2nd leader from the beach don’t remember his name) was everything I ever wanted, literally. I remember reading that in the manga and being like holy fuck this is intense but amazing and they rly managed to pull it off just the same in the live action.
* on another note, I really wish Akane wasn’t sexualised as much as she was. I know at one point it says she’s a senior in high school, which would make her around 18 in Japan but like … I kept being so fucking aware that she’s soooo much younger than Arisu and Aguni who she kept flirting with and I just - it made me uncomfy. Plus ALL the panty shots????? There were SO many!! If they were gonna do that (which I still wish they wouldn’t but this is an example) why not do it for one of the older woman whose ya’know an actual adult?????
* I really dislike the trope of like … forgetting something that had happened as a plot device, so the ending irritated me. It’s written the same in the manga, so it’s not even that they changed it, I just hate that trope all together because it kinda just feels lack lustre once they’re all back that they don’t even remember each other properly they just have a feeling ‘they’ve met’ and we don’t get like … that big emotional re-union ya know?
* speaking of re-unions though Kuina’s broke me. Her dad finally being supporting of her! I cried.
* also love that Kuina and Chishiya stayed bsf all thru the borderlands, even in the gap between s1 and s2 and all the time in s2 when they were separated the first thing Kuina asks when she sees Arisu again is where Chishiya is and how he’s doing.
* someone correct me if I’m wrong for this one but - in the manga, don’t they explain what happens now that the game has been concluded? Like yeah they explained that people can choose to stay or go, but they left out the part where the people who stay get to take over whatever bosses game they won!!!! So like, those two motherfuckers from the prison game now get to stay and continue being the boss same with a ‘new’ Mira or whatever; isn’t that something that happens? That the games just … keep going with a new group.
* upset also that they left out Chishiya’s relationship with his dad because that explains his personality a LOT for people who may be confused why he acts like he is / why he’s so logical. It’s because his dad didn’t give him the emotional / love when he was a kid so he became cool calm and calculated. I don’t wanna say the guy he was calling ‘Sir’ in the LA was his dad, but I’m pretty sure in the manga is dad is some higher up in the hospital too??????????
* I NEED / NEEDED more of Usagi + Ahn + Kuina being best girlfriends like … ugh, their friendship. I want them to go on cute fashion trips together, get manicures or w/e, braid each others hair and tell each other secrets just ugh gIVE ME GIRL BSF.
That’s it for now but I’m sure I’ll think of more and add to this thanks !!
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oh-katsuki · 1 year
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.
okay i am now more prepared to mention what has happened but im doing it because i need to complain about something. anywa
so yesterday i got a phone call that my dad was in the hospital with a brain bleed and needed emergency brain surgery. naturally, i was scared to death (still) and rushed back home to go be with him and my family. he’s had his operation and now he’s in recovery, but things still feel incredibly surreal and scary and im not rly sure how to handle it. even now im like... idk whatever. anyway 
my housemates emailed my professors on my behalf yesterday to tell them i’d be going home and wouldn’t be in class (because i was physically incapable of doing anything yesterday), but they were brief bc they really don’t need to know my business. 
now that my dad’s in recovery though, the adrenaline is starting to subside and im exhausted and like... weirdly scared idk whatever. anyway... i now have to email all of my professors and explain to them that i need extensions and wont be in class on monday either and i know school is my responsibility bc higher education and all... but it is so humiliating to have to ask for an extension on an exam and say that i can provide proof of the fact that i thought i was gonna lose my dad this weekend. like i was travelling all day yesterday and in the ICU with my dad all day today and i feel like i am incapable of doing anything else. 
and like... the fact that i will probably have to beg to not have my grades take a hit for this is fucking infuriating and humiliating because there is nothing i can do. even right now there is nothing i can do. i can’t focus. i can’t study. i can’t help my dad. like i have to choose between my academics and being with my dad and family during one of the hardest and scariest experiences in our lives. like the fact that im going to have to go in on tuesday and wednesday and be like “pleaaasee professors, don’t knock my grade down because i had to go home bc i thought my dad was gonna die, pleaaassee” is making me so upset and anxious. and it’s embarrassing to have to email the professors who specifically ask NOT to be told anything personal because like “family emergency” and “dad having emergency brain surgery” are not on the same level to me, but i have to do it that way anyway... idk i get why they do it but at the same time like what is okay to say and not okay so that the gravity of the situation can be understood... (i said ‘incredibly emergent situation regarding my immediate family). 
i also feel so GUILTY about missing classes. i feel so GUILTY about it but i need to be here because i would rather be overreacting and have everything turn out okay than under react and regret it later. and i KNOW that it’s a valid reason and excuse... i KNOW that... but like im so wired to believe that it’s work/school < everything else.. that i feel so guilty and that ive somehow made this whole thing up as an excuse to slack off (even though i KNOW how emergent the situation is). whatever im just stressed and sad idk. 
whatever it’s just been a really awful past few days and im so tired and have only just now had a moment to sit with the feeling of my academics continuing on even while my family is dealing with this. whatever im just weird right now.
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perfectlullabies · 2 years
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this is going to be a long vent post so if u read it thank u, i am giving u a cookie, buying u a pony and kissing u on the mouth 🌹
my health’s in shambles... i’d spent the entire summer locked up in the house, leaving only to run errands with my mom (mostly ones revolving around my deceased grandparents) and i thought i was dealing with all this quite well so as soon as i moved back into my uni flat i’d started going out and walking and talking and laughing and all that shit and after 10 days i got so sick...cos rly i was totally unprepared to go back to uni and see all the people and talk w them and pretend i’m fine. ok so i wanted to vent properly but i now realize i don’t feel like it anymore lmao i’m so tired and i’ve barely eaten anything since saturday :( and today was the first night i didn’t wake up so sweaty but i had a dream abt my grandma again and then later abt my granddad as well. first i saw my grandma in a tram, she was standing on the other side of it, looking at me. i turned around to look back at her and she nodded and smiled at me as if she was trying to say it’s all alright. then i found myself in my grandparent’s house that was destroyed back in 2017 and some people followed me there and tried to kill me and my dad but we managed to escape through the window
i’ve been in such a dreamlike state for a long time now. and i already missed three days of uni and i’m gonna miss three more and also my entire hospital classes and i have no idea how i’m gonna do all this???????? bro what the fuck. i don’t know and i don’t care. and my mom’s in terrible shape as well...just pretending everything’s alright but god it’s notttttttttttttttttttt i wanna scream
plus what rly did it for me was my last therapy appointment on friday. a disaster. told her i’m gonna come back next friday and then decide if i want to quit for good but i’ve already made that decision. i rly hoped she’d be able to help somehow? i had no idea it’d turn out like this
ALSO there’s a placebo gig on monday in warsaw and????????? i guess i still want to go but will i be able to? i’m gonna try. worst case scenario i’m just gonna get to warsaw and then get back home if i feel sick or something. jesus christ
for my own health’s sake i’m gonna continue being a hermit now bc i don’t think i’m ready to be a Person yet. i’ve gone through so much and i have to remind myself of that bc nobody else cares. i just don’t care abt anything my friends. just wanna mind my own business but idk what my business is lmao anyway anyway anyway * dying sounds * i see a pic of my grandma i go into hysterics bbbkjcfjdkj honestly people stressing abt shit is so amusing to me now...you can go all your life stressing and then bam you’re gone and that’s it and that’s just it !!
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yourmidnightlover · 3 years
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all my fault
Request: spencer and y/n are married, and they’ve been trying to have kids, and then she finds out she’s pregnant. a few weeks into the pregnancy, she has a miscarriage, and at the hospital the doctor said it’s bc she had an abortion as a teenager, and it fucked up her it yet us. spencer didn’t know she had an abortion, and blames her for the death of the baby, and they end up sleeping separately for a while and they have to grieve by themselves. spencer ends up talking to emily about it bc of her experience and it has a comforting ending!
Summary: when reader has a miscarriage after trying to have a baby with spencer, and things about her past are revealed and leaves things rocky within their relationship.
CW: miscarriage, pregnancy, mention of abortion, spencer’s rly harsh at first, teenage pregnancy, mentions of surgery, a cervix condition that i kinda made up, depressive thoughts, negative self-worth, HAPPY ENDING. *please let me know if i’ve missed anything*
A/N: i’ve been working on coming up with a series, which i posted last thursday! i’m sorry i haven’t been as consistent with my schedule, this summer has really taken a toll on my mental health and school is about to start back up. i promise i’m not quitting writing, but my writing might become a bit more sporadic in terms of my posting schedule. i’m still not sure if i like how i’ve executed this piece, so please let me know what you think!
IMPORTANT A/N: this contains serious topics centered around pregnancy and abortion. reader end up blaming herself and it is a very triggering subject to some. if you aren’t comfortable with those kinds of depressive thoughts PLEASE DONT READ. i don’t want anyone to be triggered by my writing. your mental health matters. you matter. do not read if your sensitive to the subject matter, please!
———————————————————————
when you and spencer checked the third pregnancy test and saw those two, very clear lines on the stick, you felt an unbelievable amount of joy.
“oh my god,” you clamped your hand over your mouth, your eyes welling with tears.
“y/n…” he held his breath, holding your free hand with both of his own.
“you’re gonna be a dad,” you huffed out a laugh as his arms flew around you.
“and you’re gonna be a mom! we’re gonna have our own little family,” he cheered as he breathed in your scent, elated from the news he had hoped for since you said ‘i do.’
spencer had wanted to be a father since he met henry, you remember how attached he was to the child who wasn’t even his own. you hadn’t always wanted children, only when you were absolutely ready for them. now, you were more than ready.
your arms flew around spencer’s neck as his went around your waist. he dropped to his knees and began pressing kisses against a bump that wasn’t even visible yet, praising you and your body for carrying his child.
because it was so hard for you to get pregnant, spencer decided to baby you every chance he got. you didn’t do the dishes or sweep, you weren’t allowed to reach for high shelves or even step on a chair to do so. he was worried about you and the baby, so you let him. you found it endearing.
the perfect man that you married was so worried about the little bean inside of you, worried for your safety, that it drove him a bit mad. who were you to complain? each time he’d do one of the new little quirks like not letting you lift anything above 10 pounds, you just smiled to yourself and brushed it off.
being pregnant was something that you had lost hope for, in all honesty. spencer had been talking to a few friends who had adopted children prior to finding out you were pregnant. if this hadn’t worked out, the two of you were going to look into adoption.
spencer had planned your doctors appointment for 6 weeks after your last period. the appointment was in three days. and then the perfect outline you had for your future went down in crumbles.
you had been having pains in your lower abdomen, and you figured it was just because you were pregnant. you went to the bathroom like you normally would when you felt queasy, kneeling by the toilet in preparation for what was to come. only nothing came.
you decided to just go pee and get back to bed. there was a pain that wasn’t like you’d felt before when you were peeing, like someone had been pulling your intestines out of your body. when you looked down, you felt your stomach drop.
“spencer!” you cried out. “spencer, hurry!” you felt tears well in your eyes until he ran up beside you. his hand was on your thigh as the other one was trying to steady your shaking hand.
“what is… oh,” he looked in the toilet to see blood inside of it.
“spencer… what happened? i don’t know what happened. everything was doing so well and the baby-we just found out and now they’re-wh-what’s gonna happen?” you rambled out, unsure of how something this horrific happened so quickly.
“i-i don’t know, my love,” he pressed a kiss to your forehead. “i don’t know. but we’ll go to the hospital right now, okay? we’ll get answers.”
you just nodded. you couldn’t speak anymore. you felt your throat closing in on yourself. you cleaned yourself up and got dressed. even looking in the mirror with spencer’s arms around you, you didn’t feel anything but guilt and worry.
spencer’s touch would usually be something to ease your mind and take away the thoughts of everything else around you. only this was something wrong inside of you. you were the problem this time. and you didn’t think anything could fix this feeling.
“let’s get to the hospital, yea?” you nodded as he held onto your hand, trying to ground you to himself as he guided you to the car.
you were silent the entire drive to the doctor. there was nothing to say. there was nothing to do. there was just… nothing. you were numb.
“hey,” he spoke up, “we don’t know what happened yet. there’s a chance it’s just a fluke, right? the baby might be okay.”
“what’re the statistics, spencer? tell them to me,” you ordered as tears flowed from your eyes.
“y/n…”
“tell me! why don’t you want me to know?!” you accused him, looking over at the man driving as he but his lower lip. “1 in 4 women who experience bleeding during a pregnancy are fine. 25 percent. the other 75 percent of people have either a miscarriage or serious complications. those are the statistics.”
“y/n…” he sighed, “it’s not your fault. you didn’t want this to happen. besides, there’s still a 25 percent chance that nothings wrong.”
“whatever,” you rolled your eyes and opted to look out of the window for the remainder of the drive to the hospital.
-
“alright,” the doctor entered the room. “we have the results from the test and we’ve examined the ultrasound pictures. i’m so sorry, but you’ve had a miscarriage.”
what were you supposed to feel? an overwhelming sense of sorrow? like a failure? like the one thing you wanted most in the world fell through?
“how-how did this happen?” you spoke through the tears. “we were so-we were careful. i didn’t lift heavy objects, i didn’t do repetitive motions, i just… we tried so hard to make this work,” you shook your head in disapproval, as if you wouldn’t accept the answer that had already been proven to you.
“there’s proof of an abortion when you were a teenager. there was severe damage done to your cervix that wasn’t assessed pre-pregnancy. now, we can repair the damage within the next two months, but it will still be difficult to become pregnant after the surgery,” the female informed you.
“then what’s the point of getting the surgery?” you scoffed, looking at spencer who was just staring off in space.
“while getting pregnant will still be difficult, maintaining the pregnancy is much more likely. the fetus would be more protected and secure after the surgery,” she explained with a pitiful smile, you couldn’t help but wonder how she could smile after giving you the worst news of your life.
“right,” you nodded curtly, allowing her to sense the mood of the conversation.
“i’ll leave you two be. i’m so sorry for your loss,” she gave the both of you a pitiful smile before exiting the room, the only sound audible being the closing of the door.
it didn’t feel real. it felt as though you were in a nightmare. only this time, you wouldn’t wake in spencer’s comforting arms. you wouldn’t hear the soft soothing voice of the man you love trying to calm you down. you wouldn’t feel the solace he would provide by merely being himself in your proximity.
the drive home was eerily quiet. there was an inkling of animosity between you. looking over at spencer in the driver’s seat, he had a dead look on his face, the only sign of previous emotion being his red-rimmed eyes and tear-stained cheeks. he didn’t even look like your spencer. he looked like a stranger in the drivers seat with a cold expression that you could barely read.
you knew this was something you should talk about. when the nurse came back in the room it was only to offer a few referrals go therapists that specialized in this kind of grief. clearly, any couple should talk about losing an unborn baby. but you knew that’s not what spencer was truly upset about.
you waited until you shut the door to your apartment before saying anything.
“maybe we should talk about it?” you whispered, not knowing how he’d react.
“about what? the fact that you’ve lied to me for our entire relationship?!” he wouldn’t even turn around to face you. “i thought we were in this together, y/n. we aren’t supposed to keep secrets from each other - especially not any that just killed our child!”
“hey…” you winced at his words. “why would you say that?”
“that’s the truth! your choices when you were a teenager just killed our child! my child!” he finally turned to face you, and you wished he hadn’t.
“do you think i knew they would botch my abortion, spencer?! do you think that’s what i wanted?!” you stepped closer to him, he sighed and ran a hand through his hair.
“i don’t know what you want anymore, y/n,” he shook his head, clearly exasperated.
“i want you. i want to get the surgery to fix my cervix. i want to grieve our child. i still want kids… with you, spencer,” you tried to ease the mood, calm him down. you reached your hand out to cup his cheek before he dodged your touch, afraid of touching you. “but you don’t want that?” you whispered so quiet, too afraid of the answer to raise your voice.
“i-“ he sighed and bit his lower lip. “i don’t know.”
“right. of course you don’t,” you shook your head before sitting on the couch, dropping your face in your hands.
“what’s that supposed to mean?” he scoffed as he took off his coat.
“it means that: of course, you’re making this about you! it can’t be about us grieving our loss together like the doctor recommended?!” you peeked between your hands at the man you still didn’t recognize.
“maybe we shouldn’t grieve together since we can’t even have a conversation without getting angry at one another,” he tried to reason.
“the only reason i’m getting mad is because you’re blaming me for my baby’s death,” you spat back at the doctor before you.
“because it’s your fault!” he stood strong in his belief. “when you were a teenager, did you or did you not have an abortion?”
“i did,” you admitted.
“and the nurse said that in said abortion, they screwed your cervix up! if you didn’t have that abortion, our child would still be alive! we would be on our way to become happy parents!” he accused, rubbing salt in the already stinging wound. “it’s your fucking fault!”
“stop saying that,” you shook your head and dropped it back in your hands, trying to hide the tears that began to flow down your face.
“it is, y/n! i can’t believe you’re even trying to say this isn’t!” he chuckled, clearly getting under your skin.
“shut up, spencer!”
“i can’t, y/n!” he sat in the chair across from you before standing back up, too hyper to sit. “no wonder it was so hard for you to get pregnant.”
“spencer,” you begged him to stop, meeting his face with your teary eyes.
“y/n,” he stared you in the eyes, and you saw a glimpse of the man you loved for a second before he retreated to the bedroom.
you sat on the couch in confusion of what had just occurred.
when you were 15, you’re boyfriend was adamant about taking your relationship “to the next step.” you didn’t think you were ready to have sex, but you wanted him to stay with you. so, you gave in. it just so happened to be that you were one of the lucky girls that ends up getting pregnant her first time in spite of birth control and a condom. you couldn’t tell your mom about your pregnancy, she’d have your head on a pole.
so, you earned enough money from your job to get an abortion yourself. you went to a clinic and had your boyfriend’s mom come with you to sign as your guardian. was it smart to get an abortion that cheap? probably not. but you had no other choice. your mom had made it abundantly clear that if she caught you fooling around with him that she’d kick you out.
you were 15. you were young and still had to finish high school. there was no support system for you. you would’ve been on the streets with a little baby - not to mention the amount of debt you’d go into for just giving birth to a child in a hospital. it was the only choice.
and now you were being berated for making the only choice you even had - and by the person you loved most in the world.
you curled into yourself on the couch, laying your head on the arm and crying into the fabric. you released all of the tension and turmoil. you held onto the cushions as if it were the man that you wanted - no, needed to comfort you. because as much as you’d hate to admit it and try to fight those thoughts, part of you thought that spencer was right. it was your fault.
you fell asleep on the couch that night. you didn’t have the strength to get up to grab a blanket so you just sucked it up.
spencer didn’t sleep at all. he was used to having you curled into his chest, or himself on yours. he felt terrible about how he had talked to you, but he was too stubborn to admit anything just yet.
in the middle of the night he went out of the room to grab a glass of water. he saw you curled up in a ball, you head resting on the arm of the couch as you slept. it was the most peaceful you looked in the past 24 hours. but you began shivering as you slept. you were probably too exhausted to get up to do anything.
he went to the hall closet on a detour and grabbed your favorite, soft blanket and laid it on top of your body. after placing a soft kiss on your forehead, he went into the kitchen and made his glass of water before taking one more glance at you. you had snuggled into the blanket, pulling it up to your chin with a gentle smile that always appeared when he kissed your forehead as you slept.
maybe he didn’t screw up too badly, after all.
the next few days were spent avoiding one another. spencer couldn’t face you after knowing you had kept something so dire from him for the entirety of your relationship. you couldn’t face him after he made you feel as though it was your fault you lost your baby.
you would stay on the couch all day, barely eating or drinking anything while spencer would go out - only mentioning the library or the office to do more paperwork. eventually he just started sleeping at morgan’s house - probably because he couldn’t stand being around you.
you didn’t know how to grieve your baby, you were hoping that spencer might help, but that clearly won’t be happening. on top of that, you were worrying about your marriage. he couldn’t even look at you, how was he supposed to talk to you and sleep beside you?
a lot of times, it’s perceived that the only reason women were put on this planet were to have children - of course that’s a false notion, but it didn’t make it sting any less. your body had betrayed you. you had betrayed yourself.
it was only 12 days after spencer left when he came back home, if he could call it that anymore. once he walked into the living room, he saw you curled up in that same position on the couch. you had a blank stare that was directed towards the black tv. the only evidence that you were doing something was the empty water bottles surrounding you - certainly not enough considering he’d been gone for over a week.
when he entered you didn’t even flinch. your gaze stayed on the empty screen and your face remained vacant of any emotion.
in all honesty, morgan was the one to tell spencer he should check on you. spencer hadn’t told him everything about your argument, he knew he was in the wrong. but he was just so angry. regardless, he was here now, and it’s a good thing he was.
you hadn’t been taking care of yourself. spencer had morgan and savannah checking on him, but you had nobody. he only realized this when morgan pointed it out. and as upset as he was, spencer would always love you. your expressionless face only worried him more. your clothes had been changed from when he last saw you, but he doubts you’ve had a shower.
he stayed silent as he began picking up the empty water bottles from around the table and couch. you looked at him quizzically with furrowed brows.
“what’re you doing?” you asked, your chin already quivering as tears threatened to stream down your face.
“i’m trying to help,” he whispered as sensitively as he could, making eye contact with the most pitiful face you’d ever seen.
“i think you’ve helped enough,” you rolled your eyes before resuming your serious stare-down with the television. “you can leave.”
“no, i can’t,” he replied, sitting down on the opposite end of the couch while being sure not to touch you - he didn’t know if you were ready for that.
“you already did,” you brought to his attention, briefly looking at him. “just go.”
“y/n, i-“
“i don’t want to hear it! what’re you gonna say that could make me feel worse, spencer?!” you let the tears fall past your waterline. “i know it’s my fault. i know i screwed up! and i’m sorry! i’m so sorry!” you replied with far too much sincerity, the tears streaming down your face before he scooted closer to you, planning on wrapping his arms around you. “stop! don’t come near me!” you pushed his shoulders away. “it’s my fault,” you lowered your voice significantly before wrapping your arms around yourself.
he had called emily as soon as he got back into the bedroom. he knew she had previously had an abortion when she was a teenager, and he just needed to hear her side of it. part of him didn’t even expect her to pick up the phone.
“reid, what’s wrong?” she immediately answered.
“i-i think i need to talk to you,” he whispered in a hushed tone.
“right now?” she asked in a mildly concerned tone.
“if you can? the sooner the better,” he answered honestly.
“alright. you want to meet somewhere or just come over?”
“can i just come over? it’s really personal and i wasn’t sure who else to go to,” he began tying his shoes and hoping she’d agree.
“of course, come on over,” she replied in a worried voice.
“ok. i’ll be there in twenty.”
he quietly left the apartment, not before sparing you a regretful glance. he lost his child, but you also lost your child as well. he just couldn’t control his anger. and partially, he thought he was right.
how could you not have told him about something so serious? the second you had began having issues getting pregnant, maybe you should’ve been open about previous pregnancies.
“hey,” emily greeted before giving him a hug after seeing his teary eyes. “come inside.”
“thanks,” he sniffled before stepping into her apartment.
she guided him into her living room and sat down on the couch beside him. they sat there for a few silent minutes before he was able to work up enough courage.
“y/n was pregnant,” he whispered, barely audible if she weren’t right beside him.
“was,” she pointed out, already feeling as though she knew the rest of the story.
“she uhm-she miscarried two weeks ago,” he somberly admitted for the first time to someone else. “the doctor said it was because she had an abortion when she was a teenager that somehow ruined her cervix.”
“and that’s why you felt like you needed to talk to me?” she gathered, she was a great profiler for a reason but this was far more obvious.
“i was pretty harsh. i-i told her it was her fault,” he bit his lower lip as he grimaced. “i really rubbed it in, too.”
“spencer… “ she sighed, taking a deep breath before continuing. “you’re mourning a life, right now. obviously, that would raise tensions and emotions would be heightened. but… have you apologized? for telling her it was her fault?”
“no?” he replied after thinking about it. “i was going to do that today but she’s… she’s not in good shape. i’m not saying she needs to be perfect, but while i was at derek’s i can tell she didn’t take care of herself. she barely drank any water.”
“did you ask her why she had an abortion? why she didn’t tell you? did you ask her anything about how she’s feeling?” emily asked once more.
“no,” he cowered down, feeling even worse about the truthful answer. “i was just… selfish. i didn’t think about how she’s feeling. i just-i feel so bad now, seeing what state she’s in.”
“when i got an abortion it was because i wasn’t ready for a child,” she began to inform him. “i was a child, myself. how was a child supposed to take care of another one? my mother would’ve been disgraced. i basically had nobody there for me. i kept it a secret because having an abortion is so controversial. i knew people would look at me differently for making a responsible decision for my future.”
“god, i feel so bad,” he began to tear up himself. “i love her so much and i told her these horrible things.”
“make it right, spencer,” she gave him a supportive smile and pat his thigh before he stood up.
“i-i have to go,” he wiped the tears from his face before giving emily a hug, grateful she would listen to him at such an ungodly hour.
he quickly drove back home, where he decidedly belonged in the first place. he never should’ve left home. he never should’ve left you. you were his home, and he didn’t know how he could possibly lose sight of that.
“y/n,” he cooed as he entered the apartment once more. it was noticeably a bit more clean. the trash was taken out, the dishes were done, and your hair was wet from a shower - he assumed. “hey,” he smiled when he saw you sitting on the bed, cheeks still red and tear-stained with red, puffy eyes.
“hi,” you sighed as you brushed your hair, spencer sat down beside you.
“how’re you feeling?” you shrugged. “i need to apologize to you,” he admitted, placing a hand on your thigh. “i’m so, so sorry for what i said. telling you that it’s your fault that we lost our child… i-there’s no excuse. i was clearly upset, but so were you. what i said was so out of line, and i’ll never be able to express how sorry i am to you.”
“you’re right,” you shrugged. “it was my fault.”
“no,” he rubbed his thumb on your skin. “it was not your fault. i’m so sorry i made you believe that.”
“when i was 15 my boyfriend at the time pressured me to have sex. we used a condom and i was in birth control but i still-i still ended up pregnant,” you began, taking a deep breath before continuing. “i couldn’t tell my mom because she would’ve kicked me out, so i saved up some money and had his mom take me to a cheap clinic. she signed as my mom and i got the procedure done. that was the end of it,” you finished tears streaming down your face. “a few weeks after the procedure i started having pains in like my lower back, but i didn’t think anything of it. so… it is my fault. i shouldn’t have gone to a cheap clinic, but i couldn’t live on the streets with a baby and no way to clothe or feed them.”
“y/n,” he got your attention, wiping the tears from your cheeks. “you were a teenager who had no other choice, love. it’s not your fault, it’s the clinic’s.”
“i just… it hurts so bad, spencer,” you shook your head in defeat before he wrapped his arms around you. “not even just emotionally, my body physically hurts so bad. i don’t know what to do and i thought i lost you and i didn’t know what i would do without you because i didn’t think you loved me anymore because it’s my fault,” you ranted out, sobbing into his shoulder before he moved the two of you around the bed to lay down, you on his chest.
“i’m so sorry you had to go through that, and that you’re still dealing with the repercussions,” he pressed a kiss to your forehead. “but know that i’m not leaving you. i love you and nothing will ever change that.”
“there’s nothing we can do now,” you whined, clutching to his shirt as if he’d disappear once more.
“we can go to the recommended therapy. we can get that surgery to fix your cervix,” he reminded you, rubbing circles onto your back as you sniffled. “then, if you’d like, we could try again for a baby.”
“so you still want to be with me?” you whispered by his ear, clearly worried of the answer.
“of course i do,” he said as if there were no other option; there wasn’t. “i’m so, so sorry, love.”
“the reason i didn’t tell you is because,” you sighed as you shuffled on top of spencer, now sitting on his lap and facing him. “because there’s this stigma that comes with having an abortion - and i didn’t know how you’d react. i also didn’t know it didn’t go well in the first place, but that’s a different story,” you chuckled. “i’m sorry. i should’ve told you about something so serious.”
“you don’t have to apologize,” he brushed a strand of hair from your face. “that was from your past. this is our future, we shouldn’t get caught up on it and allow it to ruin this.”
you nodded, “you’re right. are-are you staying here, now? or are you going back to derek’s?” there was an obvious look of hope in your eye that spencer never planned on squashing.
“i’m staying here,” he smiled. “home. you’re my home.”
“you’re so cheesy,” you rolled your eyes as a laugh left your lips.
“i’ve missed your smile,” he pressed a kiss to those very lips, your smile not going away but growing even bigger.
“i’ve missed you,” you pointed at his chest. “please don’t leave again.”
“i won’t. ever again,” you held your pinky out, he smiled and wrapped his own around it. “i’m so sorry.”
“we’ll work at it,” you sighed. “we’ll build back the trust and fix my stupid cervix and then maybe try again for a baby.”
over the next few months spencer and you had been going to therapy once a week, mourning the loss of your baby and working through your other issues.
five months after you found out about the miscarriage, you had the surgery to fix your cervix.
one year after you fixed your cervix you and spencer began talking about having a child. you were extremely nervous, rightfully so. you voiced your concerns to spencer about what if the surgery didn’t work? what if your cervix wasn’t the only issue? and he replied by reminding you that you would both take this one step at a time.
seven months after having the conversation with spencer about having children, a miracle had caught up to you.
you were pregnant.
taglist:
@averyhotchner
@greenprisca
@muffin-cup
@spenxerslut
@spencerreid9
@spencyreidpls
@spencerreid9
@spencersmagic
@calm-and-doctor
@the-local-pendeja
@spencersrose
@spencersmagic
@shemarmooresfedora
@pastelbabygirl19
if you’d like to be added to the taglist, please don’t hesitate to message me or leave a comment!
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ofherlionheart · 2 years
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ok ok so according to ur boo chronicles timeline u dont have anything planned post talkin shit, so now i simply must know how izumi + zukka dads happens in the boo chronicles universe 👀
omg anything for u, beau. the chad to my ryan <3
there was actually a point in time when i considered making pt 6 abt izumi coming into their lives, but then decided i didn’t want to do that. izumi 100% eventually becomes part of boo ‘verse zukka’s lives, but ending boo chronicles on ‘they obtained a child!! look at that family unit!! dads being domestic!!’ seemed a bit. uh. less interesting to me. (the current ending i have planned is more compelling to me, narratively/structurally speaking. still tbd how exactly i get there tho lol)
but ANYWAY you’re not here for that you’re here for izumi!! ursa’s cousin gets pregnant but does not want the child. z happens to be visiting ursa around when the child is born; he goes with ursa to the hospital and hears everything abt the situation. feels some kind of way abt it … later when he’s talking to s on the phone abt it he realizes, sokka, i want to ask if i can adopt her. s: yeah, you should do that. z: … are you sure? we haven’t rly, like, talked abt kids that much. s: i’m sure
so z asks, the cousin says yes. z asks the baby’s name; cousin doesn’t want to name her. z’s like, i’ll wait just in case. i want you to know that this is for-sure what you want
for the next several weeks while z and ursa and ursa’s cousin are navigating baby stuff in thailand, s’s going into a research frenzy in his and z’s apartment. calls katara and suki and yue and hakoda and bato every few hours, freaking out because how can he be a good dad if he only has, like, a month to prepare?? he hasn’t done the spreadsheets he should have been preparing for this YEARS ago. his loved ones remind him he’s insane and help him thru dialing back the spreadsheets and the parenting resources he keeps rush-ordering. when he’s awake he’s definitely freaking the fuck out but almost every night he dreams of z being very gentle and warm with this soft little thing swaddled in his arms and s always wakes with a sense of excitement
the day before z’s going to fly back home, ursa coming with him, he asks the cousin one last time if she wants to name the baby; she says no. z tells ursa, i don’t know how to name her. i still kind of feel like i shouldn’t be the one to name her.
ursa looks at the newborn, who was just shitting and screaming and crying 20 mins ago but is now sleeping peacefully on her son’s chest. it feels like an out of body moment for her. how about izumi? ursa suggests. 
izumi? z asks. isn’t that japanese?
ursa: it’s what i wanted to name azula.
z: why?
ursa: childbirth was painful the first time, and i didn’t want to go through it again. i’d already given your father a son. but one day, i took you to that fountain at the end of our street, and another mother had also taken her children to play in the water. her sons were maybe a year apart, with the younger about your age. and as i watched them play together, and i saw you watching them … in that moment, i wanted to give you a sibling more than i wanted to avoid that pain again.
z: oh.
when z and ursa finally arrive back in nyc, they reach an apartment that’s been baby-proofed to high hell and a bedroom that’s been rearranged to make space for the crib that s spent half a day building. s sees his hubby holding a tiny human like he has been in s’s dreams for a month, but this time it’s real. z’s got deep bags under his eyes but he smiles so genuinely anyway. ‘want to meet your daughter?’ he asks s. ‘her name’s izumi.’
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wistfulrat · 4 years
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a 4-part rec list of my fave drarry fics - the thrillers, dramas, soft bois, and wankbanks getting me through 2020′s shitstorm
[ for my fellow fledgling drarry stans! the drama list is here and, well. like i didn’t initially intend to go off in the mini-reviews beneath every rec but it’s just that you can't nOT yell about drarry as classic literary foils!! also it’s my dumb sideblog so i decided there are no rules and i get to be annoying about good writing.
but rly, the whole premise of the drarry pairing is shaped by this genre and if the ~serious world of serious published writers~ weren’t absolute cowards, they would admit that drama fic authors have contributed more to the genre than the average shit you can find at your local chain bookstore. so that's that on thAT. & if you love a fic here, don't forget to follow the authors, leave kudos & comments on their work, send them nice msgs bc they do all this shit for free xoxo ]
part 2: dramas
mood: for when I need emotional catharsis and maybe 7 hours to sob/brood about loneliness, the cost of love, & the perpetual fear of being truly known
includes: angst, hurt/comfort, reconciliation fics. it’s cruelty o’clock folks and someone is about to say/do something Fucked Up that they can’t take back. but don’t worry!! there will be a Reckoning feat. hamlet-worthy monologues, ugly truths, unbridled rage, trauma, insecurity, and just a fuck ton of tears!! but maybe even tender apologies and mended things.
(Un)wanted by @aibidil​ - 36k - E | Ginny's pregnant, then she's not and Harry's single. Harry, again with no family, doesn't know what to do with this turn of events, or how to find a new life—post-war, post-Ginny, post-abortion—in which he belongs. He doesn't expect that life to include dancing to the Backstreet Boys with Hermione and Draco Malfoy. A story of finding belonging in the unexpected. | --- can a fic be tender and unflinching at the same time? bc this story strikes that balance rly well and for a piece about unwantedness, it is incredibly humanizing. ginny holding her own, draco being gentle but not letting harry play victim, hermione calling harry “hazzah” and just the way this friendship insists on the validity of found families even when harry is spiraling?? and you’re forced to consider that no one has the monopoly on fucked-upness and that doesn’t absolve us of the ways we hurt each other but it means that everyone has the same potential to be better after being broken. goD JUST READ IT, OKAY.
Blood Magic, the series by @houseofhebrideanblacks and @thestralsofspinnersend 335k - E “Later that night. . .Draco wondered at the depths of magic, its breadth and scope. The ways in which life pervades and eludes death, the ways in which they endure all manners of small and large deaths within their lives.” -- if you don't read any other fic on this list, i hope you read this series bc holy shit it’s breathtaking. harry’s a recovering addict, draco’s recovering from abuse, and in a cottage within the forbidden forest begins an unlikely partnership as the boys take up the tedious work of healing. there are thestrals and everyone's in therapy. there are whole chapters of cottagecore drarry. it's a beautiful exploration of how we bare the immensity of loss against the miracles of birth and regrowth. 
Ship of Theseus by GallaPlacidia - 18k - T “A ship in a full sail, a ship in a state of decay, a ship that had been rebuilt, slightly different. A repeating cycle. “What makes the ship the same?” asked Harry. “I don’t know. There must be something in it that lasts across the changes.” -- DO YOU KNOW HOW THIS QUOTE LIVES RENT FREE IN MY SAD, SAD BRAIN. DO YOU KNOW HOW I LOSE SLEEP THINKING ABOUT THE FUCKING SHIP OF THESEUS. it’s a memory loss fic and everything is so unFAIR. you want to murder harry sometimes bc he’s such a shiT and you suffer through the ways he questions desire, penance, redemption, true love. and by the end, you want to believe in those golden slumber lyrics: “once, there was a way to get back home” 
Yours to Keep by @dracoismytrashson​ - 135k - E i love the university setting, i love getting to see harry and draco’s first forays into a real LGBTQ community, the class and race structures outside of the wizarding world. i love that this is the context in which they’re allowed to confront the shittiness of PTSD, anxiety, depression etc. as they come together and fall apart against each other’s traumas. it makes the ending feel earned af. “Baby, we’ve been easing into it for a decade.” -- my god this line
Away Childish Things by @letteredlettered​ - 153k - T  this fic is devastating. like, completely forget whatever reticence you might have towards a de-aging fic and read this. the de-aging premise allows the author to cut through the ways harry and draco hold each other at a distance and you end up with these stunning moments of clarity where they’re truly seeing each other for the first time. and suddenly everything makes sense. i won't spoil it here but there’s a scene towards the end where harry is talking to hermione and ron about realizing the first time he felt what its like to be loved and I fucking SOBBED. an all-time fave fic about learning how to belong.
Had To Be You by @lettersbyelise​​ - 59k - E a genuinely excellent slow burn about absolute fucking morons who refuse to express their mutual love over the course of literal years?? HOW MANY TENDER MEET-CUTES DO 2 GAY IDIOTS EVEN NEED. a car ride a bookshop a street corner -- when harry met sally is my enemy. but you know what? this fic is masterfully written, it’s an epic tale of unexpected friendships and the inability to say the things we feel. also its very much also a soft boi fic if not for the Major Fuck Up that pushes it into drama territory for me. so worth the turmoil tbh.
Hurricane by phrynne - 120k - E auror partners terrified of love. it’s a fic about walls - where the emotional landscape of this fic is occluded by dishonest words so you feel the tension play out in hollow voices, shuttered looks, emptied eyes. it’s like watching two ppl get flayed alive in slow motion and everything is SHIT for a little. it’s mean, it’s ugly, it doesn’t let you give the characters an out when they’re being cruel - to each other and to themselves. but harry and draco are two violent forces hurling toward each other’s walls and the inevitable reckoning comes and it’s so very worth the ending. the hospital bed scene to rule all hospital bed scenes.
Returning Tides by @zigster-ao3​ - E  “Is my timing that flawed? Our respect run so dry? Yet there's still this appeal That we've kept through our lives” --those fuCKing ian curtis lyrics in the summary!! p a i n. why do i put myself through getting-back-together fics knowing full well i’m gonna be Sad As Hell during the not-together portion of the story?? we are all unfortunately hoes for heartache. anyway this fic is beautiful. draco’s a dad and recently widowed, harry has a thestral reserve, the settings here are stunning. a story about grief and love that lingers.
A Piercing Comfort by @talithan - 44k - T “There is no objective scorecard. There isn’t anything that a person does that tips the balance from ‘deserving’ to ‘undeserving’, or vice versa. A ‘deserving’ person will not run out of worthiness after a set time of happiness and have to then go about working to deserve it again. And an ‘undeserving’ person does not have to suffer at length before having the opportunity to be ‘deserving’.” -- the heart of this fic. harry’s in therapy, facing depression, and learning how to accept love he doesn’t think he deserves. (also draco is harry’s therapist but yes, that power dynamic is handled ethically-well imo and addressed in the author notes I promise!!).
Borrowing Courage by @xx-thedarklord-xx​ - 70k - E |After years of being a Magical Artist and painting for other people, Draco decides it’s time to paint for himself for once. The secrets pile up as he tries to unravel the mystery of his relatives but the only thing he didn’t count on was having to go to Potter of all people for approval.| --god i love this fic. the thing about drarry here is that they never mean to hurt each other but they do. they do and draco’s trying to do the right thing and he wants so badly for good family but harry’s never rly stopped grieving sirius and it’s this whole unintended mess of festering wounds forced to heal. everyone needs a hug. also ron/blaise pairing and ron+draco’s friendship here is everything!!
Reparations and the sequel, Foundations by Saras_Girl - 320k - E | Harry is about to discover that the steepest learning curve comes after Healer training, and that second chances can be found in unexpected places.| -- incredible. harry and draco’s dynamic as healers, the cast of original characters, the boys learning what it means to trust each other, draco building a rehabilitation center, harry falling in love with him, and “meus fabula est mei ut dico: my story is mine to tell.”  i cry
The Ties that Bind by phoenix_writing (not on ao3) - 61k - T | Upon Andromeda’s death, Harry and Draco are given custody of Teddy. Their lives will never be the same.| -- harry’s got major abandonment issues and he’s just trying to be a good co-parent with draco but everyone is being the woRST and you want to murder them on behalf of harry. but then, the boys learn to listen to each other and god it all becomes so tender. also harry has a gay panic. things are awful but it all works out. -
[part 1: thrillers | part 2: dramas | part 3: soft bois | part 4: wankbanks]
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i8jisoo · 4 years
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𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐘 𝐊𝐈𝐃𝐒 ⇉  skz with pregnant!reader 
bangchan x reader | first part of dad!skz
↬ genre; fluff & a tinge of angst
↬ warnings; pregnancy, birth, talk of vomiting, and lots of cursin
↬ notes; fuck i love bangchan sm and im excited dis the first part of daddy!skz o whateva
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from the moment he knew, he honestly was scared at first and just wanted to pretend like he wasn’t going to be a father
he needed time to evaluate it all, he was honestly confused and scared, he was nervous and doubtful of his parenting skills and providing eighteen years + many years after for his child
u were nervousssss as helllllllllllllll to tell him what was up
“well, i’m- y’know- baby?” you tried to get out, ur words were hella scrambled and he was confused before he came to the realization of what you meant 
silence which is vv concerning 
u knew this was a shot in the dark sorta, u two weren’t even public on the relationship let alone public about a pregnancy?
u guys ended up taking a break for about a month, really not knowing what to say to each-other
u two were afraid, which was normal, u just rly didn’t expect it from chan of all people to walk away from u
anybody else u could expect,, but this?? this was unlike him & u were more scared by that
he wound up at your place, box in hands
(u were kinda at ur breaking point bc u thought he was returning ur things)
(newsflash it was his stuff)
“i’m sorry, i just— being a father? being a parent, i don’t.. i don’t know anything about it, but nobody does when they become one. so, i’m gonna figure it out with you.”
going through the first sonograms w him & crying a lot while u two talked about the future
ur hormones r going to be the death of chan
u are 0-100 holy mooolyy
hes very careful with his choice of words and how he delivers them, not wanting to upset you
chans first present for the baby is a kangaroo, with a matching little joey 🥺
he also is surprisingly a very big fan of kanga from winnie the pooh, which he buys winnie the pooh stuff for the baby JSJSJSJSJJS just bc kanga & roo remind him of u n the baby 🥺🥺🥺🥺 (i rly need to stop)
u were a lil big, having a cute big bump to pair with ur pregnancy, the inevitable announcement was needed to happen if u were ever going to step outside again
chan rly didnt want to announce it bc he didnt know what peoples reactions would be :(
he knew he was only twenty-seven so some people might think it was a bit too early to have kids, but he thought it was perfect the way it was
u guys hid it until u couldn’t, sparking little rumors of ur pregnancy but u both decided not to confirm them
chan obsessing and literally worshipping you in your third trimester
u in his shirts? he was fuckin over
kisses and cuddling all the time, no matter how tired u were or he was, u two would either fall asleep while doing so or lay there for awhile before u were like
“ok i gotta pee, help me up!!”
no but frfr this baby was torturing u the last stretch of ur pregnancy
it seemed that anything u ate either made u throw up or gave u heartburn
ur stretchmarks were getting worse & it seemed like u were getting bigger everyday
u were very insecure the last months, just cause a lot of comments were talking about a bit of weight gain in ur face, which fuck,, u would never be hurt by some comments but with ur hormones and KNOWING u have put on weight, u rly didn’t feel the same
ofc chan knows whats up and hes there to tell u some r e a l s h i t
“okay, yes. you have put on weight, but you’re pregnant. that’s the good thing about it, you’re healthy okay? whether you had a small bump and no extra weight put on or a big bump and extra weight put on, you are carrying a baby. you can lose the weight when it’s over, right? you don’t need to feel this way, okay? i’m the only one who you should listen to about your appearance, i’m here to tell you the truth. you are beautiful. you are the morher of my child, that’s what you are. you’re not ugly, or fat, you’re not anything bullshit that people say to you.”
when u started crying, chan panicked
“nononononoono, don’t cry baby!”
his arms were wrapped around you so tightly, feeling your face pressed against his shoulder and your arms around his neck
“i love you.” u would be rly quiet and his heart would break at the sound but ur i love you, he just— it was so real and he’d never felt like this before
“love u too.” he’d say that shit so proudly and kiss the TOP OF UR HEAD SO SOFTLY 🥺🥺🥺
when u finally went into labor, u were like wow this hurts a F U CK TOO NNN
u woke up to the bedsheets soaked underneath u, pins n needles were all u could feel
u kinda sat there for ten minutes, scaring urself n making urself nervous when u started doubting yourself and feeling the pain become stronger
ur hands were s hh aa kkyy
u would tap chan so softly and feel a little frustrated he didnt wake up but like how tf was he supposed to feel that 😳
u kinda started crying now because u were STRESSED and him not waking up (no shit ur little tap wasnt gonna work but) it felt like he was gonna sleep forever
so ur hands pressed on chan’s shoulders, shaking them a little bit and letting out a,
“chris?” which ur voice was quiet as hell, shaky as hell, and wavering as you whispered to him
him opening his eyes to see your teary ones n hes just so sad that his heart drops 🥺
he never wakes up quicker though and hes sitting up fast as fuck
“what? what’s wrong?”
ur literally sobbing and hes freaked out by this because u have never cried like this
he kinda just wants to go back to bed since ur just crying but he knows smth is probably wrong because ur SOBBING so
“my water broke.”
now its his turn to be nervous cause fuck he is feeling so unprepared
he said fuck shoes on u, slipping u into his own clothes and helping u into the car so u two could go
did i forget to mention the hospital was an hour away 😳
he wants to pull over hearing u whine n grip his hand, noticing ur quietness and ur little mumbles everytime u rest ur head back after a contraction
he doesn’t give a fuck, he will carry u into the hospital and then put u in a wheelchair from the entrance so u don’t have to walk
u have a feeling maybe hes more nervous than u but atm ur fuckin close to losing it over the pain
u two are settled into a room, epidural done and just trying to make u comfortable now
u were seven centimeters which u still had to wait but u both knew u were close to meeting ur baby
when u are at ten centimeters though, chan is just a ball of tears and he’s just so proud of you
your hand was in his the whole time, chan’s lips near ur ear and he’s just whispering for u to concentrate on him and how much u wanna meet the baby
“i—i can’t do it!” 🥺🥺
you were honestly so drained and ur forehead was laced with sweat, ur hands sweaty and shaking in his own from being nervous and slowly becoming weaker as u put ur strength into pushing
“baby, you are probably what? three pushes, maybe you can cut it to one and a half. alright? you can do this baby, we’re so close to meeting our baby.”
that’s all u needed n chan knew it
surprise surprise,, chan was right about one and a half
“it’s a boy!!” which chan would press his lips to yours so quickly, u two crying and letting out watery laughs as your baby boy cried 🥺
he hasn’t felt this much pride and love since debut or releasing an album or tour, he couldn’t express how gifted he was to have deserved the gift of being a father
ofc they introduce you both to kangaroo care, chan so ready to take off his shirt and feel his baby boy’s skin against his own warm skin and he did so
then it was ur turn to hold him the same way, chan asking u if he could pull down ur gown so u could hold him like he did
that was the picture he needed, snapping it and getting you holding the baby against your naked (ofc ur gown was covering ur breasts) chest, your son sleeping soundly with his hands pressed against you
u two were parents now, u both had learned about pregnancy together and now u two were going to explore parenthood together
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oceanselevenism · 3 years
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I've seen that most of the stories on ao3 about them are mostly canon-compliant (and I don't have anything against that tbh) but I was wondering if you have any aus that you think could fit them or that you'd like to see?
omg i have SO MANY aus!! (it got Very Long so its under a cut)
- college au! danny gets kicked out (hes on full scholarship and does Thiefly Things to cover his expenses so hes not endangered just fairly fucked up abt it) (does it count as kicked out if u only live w ur dad three months a year) in freshman year, he befriends rusty (1 year below him) in sophomore year, debbie also befriends rusty (she and danny dont talk much but shes 2 yrs below him at the same college), and when reuben comes calling for a job he thinks debbie has a boyfriend (thanks to debbie telling her dad that she does) so she fake dates rusty. who ends up joining the job. and danny is Very Jealous
- snl ripoff au! danny and rusty are the weekend-update-adjacent anchors and they get gay. i Would have this take place in la (reuben is taking A Risk producing a late night sketch comedy show on the west coast but the 11/12/however fuckin many are fantastic cast members so even though they lose revenue from the other timezones not watching as much as they watch snl or whatever, they still make BANK... but danny and rusty getting gay throws the equilibrium out of whack) BUT la sucks DICK so its happening in new york. also this way u get Ocean Sibling Banter (debbie and lou are the anchors for The Actual Weekend Update and when debbie/lou get together and also when danny/rusty get together there are so many ‘just switch out the blondes/brunettes nobody will be able to tell and we won’t have hr down our necks’ jokes)
- au where the caldwells, abt to go deep undercover on a Huge Fucking Case, have to give up custody of 6 year old linus to tess and danny. the case stretches on for twelve years and linus grows up w tess and danny (who get divorced like right after they adopt him bc tess finds out abt dannys Thiefly Activities-- he confesses to her bc he doesnt rly want to predispose the kid to said thiefly activities) and also isabel (she and rusty break up like Right Before tess and dannys wedding and its very funny; she then goes on to marry tess) parenting him (rusty isnt as much in the picture bc he doesnt feel bad at all abt stealing and tess doesnt want linus to pick up that mentality also rusty Feels Things abt danny)! then when linus is like 18 or 19 danny disappears (tess and isabel think its Thiefly Activities again and arent concerned, just disappointed, but linus is very concerned for his dad-slash-stepdad-slash-sort-of-uncle) and he tracks down rusty so they can find danny. they roadtrip across america and eventually catch up to danny, who is helping the caldwells, and the five of them take down whatever gang the caldwells were chasing. linus now has 6 parents
- au based on this post where some archaeologist finds a bunch of dannys [french person voice] Love Lettairs 2 rusty and so obviously the logical course of action is to rob the museum (which happens to be the museum that tess is curating. funny how things work out) without telling his team What Theyre Stealing. they successfully pull off the heist but turns out the letters were not among the items they stole!! danny is getting desperate. as a last-ditch attempt he calls tess and asks her to let them rob the museum. shes like Why The Fuck Would I Do That. he explains and she begrudgingly agrees. danny and livingston go break into the museum Again but rusty tails them bc dannys been acting Weird and he finds out abt the letters bc livingston sweats more whenever he tells a lie. they live happily ever after (literally, theyre immortal) the end. also even though dannys a werewolf the 11 all call him the new jersey devil (its not his fault that legend came to be ok!! he was very drunk!!)
- childhood friends au!! danny and rusty were best buds as very young kids and then the oceans had to move. flash forward 2 present day where danny and debbie r robbing a museum (theyre building a flower shop over the vault and tunneling in, the dudes in brazil who came up w it are very very clever) and guess which two people are the assistant curators (is that even a title?). guess. ill tell u its tess and rusty! danny recognizes rusty, rusty ‘does not recognize’ danny (which is valid. look at photos of child george clooney and tell me you would recognize him). the 11 demand that they use this to their advantage and so danny and rusty Sort Of Date while the rest set up for the robbery, and danny feels really bad abt it so on the day of (after everyone has gotten away, ofc, he might be a lovesick bitch but hes not a snitch) he confesses and rustys like lmao i was onto u from the start. what kind of a name is [insert alias here] anyway. then they go live a life of crime and its great
- @sanduschism came up w a fantastic au where danny pickpockets rusty and feels bad so he sends the wallet back and they strike up a Correspondence
- HOSPITAL AU!!! danny and rusty r er techs while theyre doing med school and nobody knows how they juggle their shifts w school but also rusty can do a tracheotomy in like 5 seconds and danny can tell when a person needs an mri before they even list their symptoms so nobody questions it and nobody splits them up Ever. when they eventually become surgeons, danny does cardio and rusty does neuro, and whenever they have to work together not only do they never have to say what theyre doing, they don't even have What Do U Want To Cook For Dinner convos fully out loud. tess is head nurse... she makes so many excel spreadsheets... they are ALL color coded. isabel is head er doc and nobody dares to halfass things on her watch. reuben is head hospital admin, saul is chief surgeon, basher is head of the burn unit, the malloys r the HUNKIEST nurses in town, frank does plastic surgery/ent (every patient loves him bc he is just So Calm), livingston is The IT Guy, yen does like orthopedics or physical therapy, and linus is their fav resident who they all lovingly tease 24/7. the ocean sibs r both Cardio Gods and each dominate their respective coasts. debbie is an nyc doctor and if she sees a mass gen doctor its on SIGHT. the few surgeries that she and danny collab on go so fast that the med students in the gallery Cannot tell whats happening. lou is also a plastic surgeon and she and frank r best buds. linus requests time off like 6 months in advance Every Time and everyone hates it bc then They have to be on call but he doesnt realize his Extreme Overachieverness is causing so much strife. whenever tess and danny get in an argument she colorcodes his rounds spreadsheet to be the most neon shit youve ever seen. can you tell i never fully progressed past my greys anatomy phase this one is like 93489302 lines long
- superpower au where rusty has midas touch and danny has corrosive touch and when theyre too young to have control over their powers (abilities develop throughout adolescence and the user gains control at the end of adolescence) they accidentally brush hands and are terrified they just killed each other but turns out their powers like. cancel out. so until they reach like 21 or 22 and can touch things without fucking them UP they just. hold hands all the time. bc otherwise they have to wear gloves to prevent Accidents and both of them “hate gloves” (and also love holding hands. gayasses)
- uhhh hallmark au where danny is a crime fiction writer out on some beach north of ocean city nj and rusty is his fancy nyc editor. everyone else is a thief including debbie who is just Very weirded out that her brother, who robbed boston’s institute of contemporary art at age 22 and got away with it, has decided to spend the rest of his life churning out books. he is very critically acclaimed and about half of the 11 are buds with him and use his published books as heist inspo. the other ~half of the 11 are buds with rusty, and they tell him if danny’s heists are feasible or not (they always are. scarily so.) anyway rusty and isabel break up 12 days before xmas and danny and tess break up 8 days before hanukkah so dannys heading to debbie’s place in upstate new york to mope for the holidays when A BLIZZARD HITS and he gets stranded in midtown. and he and rusty are buds but like. Email Buds. they dont hang out irl and therefore they dont let their Totally Bud-Like Feelings mess up their professional relationship. but danny is stranded and its hanukkah and he ends up crashing at rustys place for the duration of the blizzard. and then rusty ends up coming to debbies place for the rest of the holidays. and then they kiss on new years eve and debbie kicks them out bc theyre being gross
- And More! thanks for the ask, anon! sorry it got so long lol i just have Many Thoughts
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pixelwisp-archive · 3 years
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i want more orimakki 😩 !!! pls answer these q's i rly wanna know 🥺
Flora I love you so MUCH oh my god thank you for feeding me TT-TT (also I'm ABSOLUTELY SENDING THIS BACK FOR YOU AND OSAMU I WANNA KNOWWWW)
I’m gonna answer these Interview style because it sounds fun to do and because I can😌
This ended up taking me SO long because, per usual, I got way too carried away lmao I'm so sorry
Makki is blue and I'm orange! (Interviewer is red lmao)
1. Who loves flower crowns more?
“Ori, for sure”
“I’m bad at making them though, so I make Hiro make them for me” 
Makki looks at her like😒 and she laughs - he bites back a smile.
2. Who is the one who likes to cuddle?
"Hiro, for sure - I get a little weird about physical affection"
"She hates me"
"That's not true bub, you're just so hot"
"Thanks babe, I think you're pretty cute too"
Ori rolls her eyes and elbows him. "Next question"
3. Who has awful taste in music?
*simultaneously* "Hiro" "Me"
4. Who is the meme lover?
"I run a relatively popular account on instagram"
"I wake up every day to at least 30 new memes that he's spammed my phone with"
5. How did their second date go?
Ori starts laughing as Makki groans.
"He tried to take me to a park for a picnic-"
"Listen it would have been romantic but there was this fucking-"
"raccoon coming to grab our food-"
"and of course Ori is a dumbass ("HEY") and was ready to pet the literal wild animal ("he was so cute :(") so I tried to like shoo it away but-"
"It bit him and we ended up just sharing a cheese stick in the hospital"
"It was a disaster, to say the least"
"It's still one of my favorite dates, though"
"You just like seeing me in pain"
Ori laughs. "Not True!"
6. How many children do they want/have?
"17"
"absolutely not"
"we've talked about having two, maybe three"
"with a couple years in between. Gotta make sure they bully each other. It's important for character growth"
"We'll be sure to bully the oldest so they're not a weirdo like their mom"
Ori nods in agreement.
7. Who hides the weapons?
"I have a knife collection, does that count? I keep them in a display case on the wall"
8. Who is the better dancer?
Makki laughs. "Oh, me for sure"
"YOU?"
"Have you seen your dancing babe?"
"Have you seen YOUR dancing? What the hell is this?" *imitates this god awful windmill move*
"...okay, valid. We're both bad."
9. Do/Did they have a theme wedding?
"We're not married, marriage is for chumps."
Makki sighs. "We're not married *yet*."
"Gross, tryna tie me down stinky?"
"Been trying for years, bub"
Ori blushes, and looks away to hide her smile.
"...maybe"
Makki grins and leans in. "What?"
"I said maybe. I just-"
"I know, baby. Maybe is all I need."
10. What do their parents think of them dating?
"My parents are in love with Ori."
"My parents love him too!"
"Even your dads?"
"Yeah, my dads love you"
"Your step dad doesn't seem to like me much"
Ori furrows her brows. "which one?"
"I'm sorry, did you say 'which one?'"
"Oh, sorry. I have three dads. My mom, my dad, and then their husbands"
"I don't know, your mom's husband doesn't seem like he's warmed up to me"
"It took him years to even warm up to me. He shared his pot roast recipe with you, remember? that was his seal of approval"
Ori giggles while Makki looks at her suspiciously but eventually mumbles "if you say so"
11. Are they a super sappy couple?
"She clowns the shit out of me whenever I try"
Ori laughs. "I'm sorry I just don't know how to act when I'm embarrassed"
"I'm trying to woo you, not embarrass you, you jackass"
"*woo* me?!" Ori cackles
"I don't know why I even try"
(She goes up to him later, and takes his face in her hands, her demeanor more serious than before
"Hey, bub. You know I don't mean *you* embarrass me right? I just get awkward about affection"
He sighs and nuzzles into her palm
"I know you didn't, it's ok. I just love you too much sometimes, and its hard to reel it in"
"I love you too. So so much"
"I am gonna ask you to marry me someday. You know that?"
"I know, and my simp ass is gonna say yes. How gross is that"
Makki rolls his eyes, a smile on his face
"So gross")
12. How did they get together?
"We danced around each other for like 2 years"
"it was painful"
"Iwaizumi finally beat the confidence into me enough to kiss her"
"I don't know that you ever actually asked me out"
"Really? Oh, well then, wanna date?"
"Nah, you're a little weird"
"Damn ok, guess I'll call Mattsun" Ori laughs
13. Who asked the other to get married?
*more gagging noises while Makki sighs*
"It'll be me, clearly"
14. Who stays up too late and makes stupid jokes?
"Hiro. 100%"
"Hey, you stay up late too!"
"I know, but my jokes are always funny"
"rude"
15. Who is the nerd?
"Oh my god it's Ori"
"Hey, I converted you, fellow nerd. plus, you have a knife collection - if that's not nerd shit idk what is"
"touché"
16. Who knows the most obscure facts?
"Hiro"
"Did you know that penguins have knees?"
"I do now"
17. Who makes the other a flower crown?
"Hiro! His fingers are better suited for the weaving, I have weirdly small hands"
"Hey, I like your hands"
"Awh, babe<3"
18. Who likes to read?
"I do! If I'm not reading a physical book I'm always reading something on my phone!"
19. Who bothers the other person while the other person reads?
Makki grins, pointing to himself while Ori shoots him a playful glare
20. Who tutors the other?
"Hiro is actually wicked smart. He an invaluable study buddy"
"Ori is the definition of a bimbo"
"Nah I'm the shebo, I'm not hot enough to make bimbo status"
"Excuse me? Consensus says you are both very hot AND definitely belonging in the bimbo category"
"Consensus? What consensus"
Makki smiles, a little too innocently. "Group Chat"
"Oh my god"
21. Do they have similar taste in movies?
"Ori enjoys literally everything so it's really easy to find common ground"
"We change it up a lot, but we're usually end up with either a horror movie or we binge an anime"
22. How do their personalities compliment each other?
"We're both fucking weirdos"
"Yeah, and Hiro's calm complements my loud - he grounds me when I need it"
"goes both ways - I get loud too. Feelings are loud sometimes and that's ok"
Ori snorts. "Ok, dr.phil"
23. How do they tell everyone that they are going to be having a kid/adopting a child soon?
"Is like, texting them an option?"
"We'll take em' out for breadsticks or something"
"Oh lets have them open up like a lil onesie, our moms would die"
Ori laughs "What's it gonna say on it"
"'You're both grandmas now. Congrats, you old bitches'"
Ori wheezes, folding in on herself in her seat
"That's so fucking stupid, we are absolutely doing that"
24. Who has better fashion sense?
"Look at us. Look at how we're dressed"
"There are holes in my shirt"
"and that's his nice shirt"
"In my defense, it had holes when I bought it"
"So holes are fashionable now?"
"Apparently"
"Hobo chic"
25. Who will punch someone out if they are rude to their partner?
"Ori is a doormat-"
"RUDE"
"-Lemme finish babe - until it comes to her people. If someone's rude to me she is ready to throw hands in seconds flat"
"damn straight...would you fight for me?"
"Of course. you think I wouldn't?"
"Just making sure<3"
26. What songs do they sing together in the vehicle?
"EVERYTHING"
27. What other couple would your otp get along with?
Ori perks up "Flora and Osamu!!! I love the both of them so much, they're so cute together too"
"They're great people, plus Osamu gives us free food and honestly, what else do you need in a friend"
Ori slaps Makki's shoulder "Stop acting like you only like Osamu for his cooking"
"I'm only kidding!"
28. Who likes to prank the other?
"Ori does this thing where she'll do something nice for me and then go "get pranked!" when I notice"
"I do indeed do that"
"I am not kind. Sometimes I'll just, buy an air horn. And press it. while she's asleep."
Ori glares at Makki
"he does indeed do that"
29. Who is the one who loves to take pictures?
"I do"
"He's alwaysss taking pictures, but I hate getting my picture taken and he's super respectful of that"
"...yeah"
(Later, when Ori's stepped out for a minute
"I do take pics of her. She doesn't know it but I do"
Makki starts to show off an album full of candids of Ori
Makki sighs, a soft smile on his face "She's so pretty"
"Don't tell her about this please, she'll murder me")
30. How would they react if they found out they were soul mates?
"Oof"
"That's what you'd say? Oof?"
"It's an oof for you. stuck? with me? forever?"
"you doofus, there's no one else I'd rather have"
"you little fucker, you're gonna make me cry"
makki laughs and squeezes her hand "love you stinky"
Ori sniffles "Yeah I love you too I guess"
31. Where would they live?
"right now we live in an apartment in Osaka-"
"but eventually we wanna by a house. We're thinking of going back home to Miyagi"
"We miss the small town atmosphere"
32. What type of dragon would they own, if they could have one?
"oh my god, a little shoulder dragon would be so cute"
"ok but imagine how much money we'd save with something we could ride to work"
"shit, you're so right"
33. If they were both vampires, what type of vampires would they be?
"There are types of vampires?" looks to Makki, Makki shrugs
"Is dying an option?"
34. What would they dress up as, for Halloween?
"we do themed couple ones but like, not sexy ones"
"yeah, like for instance our friends went as a fireman and his girl was a dalmation, and we were-"
"bob ross and his panting!"
"...she was bob ross"
"this year I'm trying to get him to dress as mothman so I can dress up as a lamp"
35. Can they name each other’s favourite food?
"Ori loves chicken to the point where it's almost concerning"
"Hiro likes cream puffs"
"No no, they're Profiteroles"
"they're the same thing babe"
"but profiteroles sound so much fancier"
36. Do they have pet names for one another?
"The usual"
"Babe, baby-"
"stinky, fuckass-"
"bubs-"
"doofus, dumbass, nerd"
"nothing crazy"
37. How do they cheer each other up?
"I swear to god he's a psychic - he always knows exactly what I need. Sometimes I need space, sometimes I just need a hug, other times he'll have a whole self care night in prepared for me when I get home"
"Ori always knows what to do. She's not a snuggler but she will let me hold her for hours if it meant making me feel better. Honestly most of the time she holds me because - well, boobs"
"Takahiro!"
Makki laughs and jerks away as she pinches his side
38. Do they show a lot of PDA?
"I think we're not too bad. We hold hands, I'll give her the occasional kiss. She lets me wrap my arm around her sometimes"
"These questions are making me feel like a bad girlfriend. Let? :("
"hush, you're the best. You think I'd stick around if you were a bad girlfriend? Do you know how obsessed with you I am? The boys clown me for never shutting up about you even after all this time"
*Ori buries her face in her hands to hide the blush* "Oh my god you're so lame"
"That's her way of saying she loves me too :)"
39. How old were they when they got together?
"I was 22, Ori was 20"
"holy shit, almost four years?"
"Yep"
"wow"
40. Who is the one that would bring the puppy home?
"Me!"
"She's done it before. She named her Ripley"
41. Can they do yoga couple’s poses?
both start cackling "Absolutely not. We can try but it would be a disaster"
42. What is their song?
"Oh its-"
Castaways from the Backyardigans starts playing from Makki's phone as he grins.
"-our song is not Castaways, Hiro"
"It could be. We could decide it is right now"
"We are not making our song Castaways"
"oh c'moooonnnnn, it's a bop!"
Ori laughs "Its-"
"Your song by Elton John. It was playing when we kissed for the first time"
Ori covers her smile with her hand, her eyes soft as she looks at Makki
43. What does their room look like?
"A mess right now, Ori had to find an outfit for today so there are clothes everywhere"
Ori grins sheepishly
44. Who would be the one to kill zombies while the other keeps them grounded?
"Hiro would probably do the killing, I would be moral support"
"I dunno babe, I think if you snapped you could totally become a badass"
"You think so?"
"Hell yeah, I've seen you get mad at Mattsun enough times to know you can get scary as hell when you wanna"
45. Who makes the other breakfast in bed?
"we've done it for each other, it depends on the day to be honest"
46. Who loves kids more?
"Ori"
"But the kids LOVE Hiro so much its crazy, and he's so good with them"
"I like kids well enough but they're so rude and for what"
"I find their lack of filter funny!"
"If you ever feel your ego is too big, just talk to a seven year old. They'll drag to hell and back with no hesitation"
47. Do either of them have a crazy ex?
"I dunno. Do you?"
"No. Do you?"
"Nope"
"Cool"
48. What are their favourite colours?
"Hiro's is this very specific red color"
"Ori doesn't have one, it changes all the time"
"this is true"
49. Who likes to cook?
"Oh I love cooking!"
"She does majority of the cooking but we sometimes cook together"
"he is utter chaos in the kitchen but we always have a good time, even if he make my blood pressure go through the roof"
50. Who is the forgetful one?
"Hey Ori, what'd you have for breakfast this morning."
"I- um. An Iced Coffee?"
"Final answer?"
"....yes"
"Bzzzt. Wrong. You had cereal :)"
51. Does either of them know how to fight?
"I don't mean to brag, but I've taken Tai chi lessons"
"Babe, you signed up for those lessons after we binged Avatar, and you only went to four of those classes before quitting because it was too hard"
"Those four lessons taught me enough to kick someone's ass for you though"
Ori laughs "I'm sure they did"
52. What do they do for Valentines Day?
"We have this tradition of going to the store and each of us take turns blindly picking out snacks, pajamas, and either a movie/video game/or craft project and we stay in and have a little pamper day"
"we also absolutely RAID the store next day when the candy is half off"
53. Who swears more?
"We both swear a lot to be honest"
"Oh my god we're so bad"
54. Who has the better comebacks?
"Hiro, 100%"
"Ori is quick too though"
"But you go right for the jugular"
"I'm not mean to you though"
"Oh no! I just mean with others, like Oikawa - you drag that man within an inch of his life"
Makki laughs "Oh ok yeah that's fair"
55. Who would start a fight with another parent at a bake sale?
"Me. Like I said, Ori is a doormat. She is so afraid of confrontation someone could literally spit on her and she'd apologize to them"
"It sounds so bad when you put it like that"
56. Who reads buzzfeed?
"Hiro says he does them ironically, but I'll be reading something on my phone and he'll start asking me obscure questions, and then I realize he's trying to get me to build a smoothie so he can find out with 'Desperate Houswife' I am"
"She got Gabrielle"
"Which isn't even accurate, I'm totally more of a Susan"
"You have some of Gabrielle's spice, though"
"What did you get?"
"Me? oh, I got Lynette"
"kinda accurate, actually"
57. Who is the hopeless romantic?
"I am, she makes fun of me but I know she loves it"
"I do, honestly"
58. Do either of them know how to do a handstand?
"I do!"
59. Who can rap better?
"oh god, neither of us"
"speak for yourself"
"go on babe, rap for them"
"...well I can't right now"
"exactly"
60. Do either of them want to go sky diving?
"I'd be down"
"I love the idea of it but oof, I'm too chicken shit"
61. What do they usually text about?
Makki pulls out his phone
"'hey babe, we're out of eggs' - that was Ori"
"'dog' - with a pic attached of said dog, that was from me"
"11/10, 'I hope he knows what a good boy he is', that was Ori's response"
"Then Ori ranted to me about Uraraka's character development"
"the wasted potential is appalling"
"absolutely it is. 3 hours later, from me - 'I forgot eggs'"
62. Who is the dramatic one?
"me, for sure"
"She's self aware though so its not so bad"
63. Is either one confrontational?
"Not really? We both avoid confrontation whenever possible. If something needs to be said though, I don't really have any reservations about it"
64. What is their favourite cuddle position?
"Me as the big spoon, I much prefer holding him I think, its less hot that way"
"Plus, boobs :3"
Ori groans as Makki laughs "I hate you"
65. Who are their favourite musical artist(s)?”
"Ooooh thats a toughie, we listen to so much"
66. What are their parenting styles?
"I tend to be the bad guy"
"That's not true!"
"Why do you think kids like you better? I'm the one who makes them eat veggies for a snack and you bribe them with ice cream"
"I promise we'll share the bad guy role when we have our own"
Ori narrows her eyes at Makki, sticking her tongue out at him "we better"
67. Who would be the more laid back one?
"Hiro, I get wound like a fucking top sometimes"
"You stress easily, but its ok, when you're stressed you get mean and its kinda hot"
"I'm glad my breakdowns are sexy to you"
Makki laughs "You know that's not what I meant"
68. Who listens to more vulgar music?
"Ehh, neither of us really"
"not our jam"
69. Do either of them have secrets even the other doesn’t know?
"...do you?"
"....no"
"That was suspish"
"I'm sorry did you just say 'suspish'?"
"don't change the subject! what are you hiding?"
"Nothing!! I swear"
"Pinky?"
"Pinky"
(later, while Ori's out of the studio, he shows a picture of the ring to the camera.
"So, yeah. There is one secret. I'm really bad at lying though so let's not put me on the spot like that anymore please" The man looks d a m p with sweat lmao)
70. Who is their go to couple for a double date?
"FLOSAMU, 100%. We're overdue too, I miss them!"
71. Do they tip the waiter/waitress on their date?
"Generously"
"If you don't tip you're a jackass"
72. How do they work out a fight?
"Communication is key. We often give each other the silent treatment but it usually is just to clear our heads so we can come back to talk it out"
"He's so mature when it comes to our relationship. The way he takes charge when I'm flailing and don't know what to do or how to proceed is so sexy" Ori starts fanning herself as if to emphasis her point, a teasing grin plastered on her face
73. Who brings home an illegal pet?
"Hiro will bring anything home if it's injured. It could be a snake and if he's worried its hurt I will come home to it in the bath"
"you gotta save the animals, babe"
"Most people would call a wildlife facility though, not take them to their tiny city apartment"
74. What side of the bed do each of them sleep on?
"I sleep on the left! I don't think either of us are particularly picky about it though"
"We usually wake up sprawled anyway with no clear sign of where we were before"
75. What is their favorite photo of them two together?
"There's a picture someone took of us dancing at a wedding. Ori is mid laugh in that photo and she's just - shit, she's so pretty."
"Hiro what the fuck why are you so sappy today"
"I dunno - I just think you're neat"
Ori's lips tremble a tiny bit. She sniffles. "It's my favorite photo too."
76. Who takes longer in the bathroom?
"Oh my god-"
"Okay-"
"SHE TAKES FOREVER"
"OKAY, LISTEN-"
"SHE ONLY GOES ON TIKTOK WHEN SHE GOES TO THE BATHROOM"
"I JUST GO THROUGH MY NOTIFICATIONS"
"SHE IS NEVER - STOP HITTING ME - SHE IS NEVER QUICKER THAN 30 MINUTES"
"YOU ARE SO DRAMATIC"
"DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON SHOWERS"
77. Who has more songs on their ipod?
"Hiro, I kinda keep to the stuff I know, while he's constantly adding new music"
78. What movie did they first see together?
"Uhhh I think it was-"
"It was Princess Mononoke, you were appalled when I said I hadn't seen it yet"
"Honestly I still am. How do you go through 20 years of your life without having seen Princess Mononoke?" Ori shrugs
79. What do they like to see each other in?
"nothing"
"not sure what I expected, really"
"I mean was there really any other answer?"
80. Who makes jokes during inappropriate times?
"Oh god. Both of us. We are so terrible"
"Sometimes Ori will nudge me if I'm being especially bad but she is usually the one egging me on because there is nothing cuter than her trying to hold in a laugh"
81. At what age do they discuss the possibility of children?
"We started talking about it a few months ago"
"It wouldn't be any time soon either, its just discussing the topic so we know where each of us stand"
"Yeah, there's still a lot for us to figure out"
"Like, you know, finances and getting married and stuff"
Ori bites her lip "...yeah, and stuff."
82. What do they love about each other the most?
"It's probably a cop out to say everything"
"please, you don't love everything, I'm a mess"
"but you're MY mess" Ori smiles and kicks him playfully
"This is going to sound super cheesy, but I just love his heart? He's loves so loudly and so wholly. With everyone and everything around him. He's just such a good person and it's insane to think he somehow chose to be with me, a human dumpster"
"You were so romantic until you called yourself a dumpster"
"It was getting too soft, I gotta keep my bruh girl reputation"
"You're such a dork"
83. Who is the one that sees the big picture, while the other focus’s on the small details?
"I think we're both kind of big picture people"
"No, babe, you are obsessive over minute details"
"No I'm not!"
"Everything takes you twice as long because you are constantly quadruple checking if its ok"
"..."
"and you get so stressed when you're given a project or a problem that's even the tiniest bit vague"
"well, I-"
"And don't even get me started on when you're cleaning, you always take forever because you go through every single item you've ever owned even if you know you're gonna toss or keep it"
"Okay, I feel really attacked right now" Makki laughs
84. What would they write on their partner’s social media’s for their anniversary?
"I usually go with a tried and true mixture of sappy and funny. I post a couple photo of us that I like or just a standalone of him and I give a cute little snippet talking about how lucky I am"
"Every year I just go on a rant about how much I love her. I'm always overwhelmed on anniversaries so I keyboard smash my way through the post."
85. Who is bad at math?
"Me, I don't understand any of it. Hiro is actually pretty good at it though"
86. Who googles everything?
"I've caught her trying to google where her glasses are"
"OKAY to be FAIR I was googling to see what the most likely places would be, it was just to give me ideas"
"And where were they?"
"*sigh* in the fridge"
"why?"
"because I was on autopilot and I assumed it was the butter"
87. Who does stuff on impulse?
"Oh, me. Ori does sometimes but she always regrets whatever she impulse did"
"its normally shopping and then I'm sad because I'm broke again"
88. How do they comfort each other when they are helpless to do anything about the situation?
"honestly? We learned this the hard way, but...just being there, letting them know they can lean on you when they need to. Being a pillar and giving them the space and comfort to let them tell you what they need and how you can help. Communication is so important in a relationship"
"You said you learned that the hard way? What do you mean by that?"
Ori and Makki share a look
"It's a long story. Another time, maybe"
89. What is an inside joke they have?
They both immediately start laughing
"Are you also thinking-"
"Yes! What about-"
"*incoherent wheezing*"
"well there's the-"
"or the-"
"oh my god remember-"
all the sentences go unfinished, laughter dissolving any chance of you ever figuring any of them out.
90. Who makes the other smile with almost no effort at all?
"I think its mutual, sometimes we will literally just look at each other and we'll smile without even realizing it."
"We're so gross"
"Ugh, I know." But they smile at each other
91. What is their favourite holiday?
"New years! Christmas is always nice but its stressful with gift giving. New years is always stress free and a good time, plus Ori loves visiting the shrines the next day"
"It's so peaceful, and seeing everyone pay their respects fills me with an overwhelming appreciation for humanity."
92. Who is the one that is calm and collected while the other is angry and destructive?
Ori pouts.
"I'm the angry one. I know I am. I'm a menace"
"You're not a menace babe, you just feel a little more than others"
"Are you like high right now or something? What has got you so wise and therapist-y"
"Love." Makki wiggles his eyebrows as she scoffs, her soft giggles betraying the eye roll
93. What is their favourite board game to play?
"Clue!"
94. Who accidentally sets something on fire?
"Okay, it's me, it's happened more than once too"
"She doesn't know the first thing about safety in the kitchen"
"I want to argue so bad but I just know I can't" she sighs
95. Who has the car ready while the other is robbing the store?
"I'm robbing. Ori would get distracted"
"valid"
96. What artist/group did they go to for their first concert?
"Mother Mother"
"It was INSANE"
97. Who sleep talks?
"Hiro does" Ori starts giggling, pulls up the sleep app on her phone
"Wanna listen?"
98. Who is the more social one?
"Oh, me, definitely. She is more talkative but Ori rarely initiated conversation with new people or if she's in a new environment at all"
99. What are their karaoke songs?
"I have to be absolutely trashed before we even attempts Karaoke but we do a duet and its either Bohemian Rhapsody or one of our cheesy love songs"
100. Who would get up on stage and make a fool of themselves just to make the other laugh?
"Hiro!! He does it all the time and I love him for it"
"Awh, love you too babe"
"And that's a wrap!"
Makki looks at Ori, grabbing her hand and instinctively intertwining their hands together. "Ready to go, stinky?"
Ori smiles, bringing their entangled hands up to lips as she presses a soft kiss to his skin.
"Ready."
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*whispers to myself* don't send it. Don't send it. Dont. Send. It. Yeah okay sooo I wonder what Lee is like as a dad (and did they still move to New York?) I can't get enough of how you write for him 🥰.
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the move would’ve definitely caused and stirred some gossiping around knockemstiff but no one dares say a word their way, mostly ‘cause y/n technically still owns and funds half of the town and lee couldn’t care less about shooting someone on his last days as the knockemstiff sheriff
he would still be very overprotective of y/n since when they start packing for moving she’s a good 7 months along and he doesn’t want her to do anything
“lee i can pack my own clothes” “no, you stay there” “am i supposed to just watch your pack all our stuff and do nothing?” “most women wouldn’t complain about their husband helping, sugar” “i’m seven months pregnant, not dying” “just in case, sugar” “fine”
okay but i totally see lee wanting to drive to ny instead of flying, so they go on her car with all the boxes pilled up until their new home
lee would be the one to take a bit of time getting comfortable in new york, mostly because he was born, raised and lived in knockemstiff for so long being in a big city, despite living in the suburbs of it, is quite a shock to him 
he does enjoy his job more “they’re still morons, sugar, but at least they don’t bother me” he said when y/n asked him about his first day as sheriff outside knockemstiff
y/n got told to stay off work once she was 8 months pregnant by her doctor and she was not happy about that, yet it was better than to hear her male co-workers send snarky remarks her way about how such a pretty thing should be home taking care of her husband and baby 
they mostly shut up once they discovered her husband was sheriff they shut up, but she still heard mumbling about it until she went off into maternity leave
y/n will mostly pretend she’s not home as all the wives of her street want to come gossip with her and she’s not in the mood. 
“y/n, barbara from down street said she knocked and you weren’t in. where did you go?” “to the bedroom hoping she didn’t see me” “sugar, you can’t avoid them forever” “yeah ok lee but every time i let one inside my home i immediately get asked when i’m quitting my job to take care of my husband or if i’m divorced because married women don’t work” “they’re just nosey, sugar” “one day a week and that’s my final offer” “don’t worry, sugar. i’ll keep them away from them.”
y/n will be mostly bored for her last month of pregnancy and will decide just to randomly cook a lot and re-organise the house. lee definitely isn’t complaining about that.
her water breaks when he’s at work and y/n, as if she wasn’t in labour, calls him and talks very calmly about it “hey sugar, everything a’right?” “my water broke and i would enjoy you came over and drove me to the hospital” “oH OKAY, JUST STAY THERE” “i can’t move, there’s nowhere i can go” “why are you so calm?”
her calm facade crashes down once she’s on the hospital and the labour room 
“nope.” “what?” “i don’t know how to be a mum. i did not have one for long, how do you even mother someone and don’t traumatise them or something?” “sugar, it’s gonna be fine” “barbara said it rly hurts, lee. i don’t want it to really hurt” “you’re gonna be fine” “YOU’RE NOT THE ONE HAVING THE BABY, I DECIDE IF IT HURTS OR NOT!” “ok, sugar, okay”
lee trying his best not to laugh whenever y/n is complaining to the doctor how it’s taking too long
she ends up giving birth to a little girl who they name diana
oh boy is lee even more of an overprotective dad than she expected.
he’s not allowed to take time off work but he’ll bring diana and y/n into the office whenever he can 
“that you little girl, bodecker?” cut to lee proudly introducing his wife and his baby daughter who is just calmly sleeping in her little baby comforter.
he’s definitely a more present father than the ones y/n know, always ensuring he makes it on time to dinner
“how are my girls?” he’ll ask every time he gets home and even further into when diana turns 3 and will come rushing from the living room to hug his leg until he picks her up “were you good to the nanny?” “yes. mummy said if i’m good the whole week i get to pick a brand new toy”
diana being much more interested in lee’s job than y/n’s much to her dismay “admit it lee, do you have sweets at work and that’s why she likes your job more?” “sugar, your job is sorta boring unless you’re doing it” “i guess you’re right” “besides, she almost shot joe yesterday” “wHAT?” “it was hilarious, sugar. our daughter is gonna be sheriff someday” “how did she almost shoot joe?” “you know our daughter, she’s very persuasive and one of the officers jokingly gave her a gun he thought was empty. guess it wasn’t” “as long as she doesn’t shoot herself” “she’s too smart doll”
lee sitting down on the floor and playing around with diana and her million toys “what does this one do, baby?” “i’m not a baby” “of course not” “daddy you can be this barbie, i’ll be this one” “okay, diana”
diana being most upset when lee has to work overtime “mummy, when is daddy coming in?” “daddy’s working late today, sweetheart” “can i sleep with you until he comes in?” “of course you can.” 
lee coming home to see both his girls sleeping on his and y/ns bedroom and thinking life can’t possibly get better for him
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princessjungeun · 4 years
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Half and Half: Lia x Reader
where the reader is a troublemaker at school and Lia is the class nerd and she tries to help the reader graduate by tutoring her and then they catch feelings... I rly need some fluff in my life rn 🥺👉🏻👈🏻
CW: violence
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When Lia agreed to tutor a student who needed help to pass the class she didn’t know it’d be you. You were known as the bitch not to be messed with. You admit you had a short fuse when it came to your anger but you fixed it earlier this year. However that doesn’t dismiss the fact that you’ve gotten into countless fights over the past 4 years you’ve been in high school.
There was the time that one kid insulted Ryujin, you broke his nose, jaw, busted his lip, and gave him a concussion. That time that one girl called Yuna ugly, you broke three of her ribs. The time someone made fun of your family, you’re not even sure what happened to them, you don’t know if they ever left the hospital. And of course the time someone tried to ask you on a date as a dare, he got a black eye and a busted lip. All that being said, you were definitely feared by everyone in school.
But despite your bad girl image, you were good in school, you were at the top of your class directly under Lia. However, nobody in the school knew that but you. The biggest issue for you was anatomy, it was the one subject you were bad at. It was all memorization which you were good at, but something about the muscles and tendons and all that, it was too much. This being said you started failing slowly, your grade slowly dropping as the year went on. But now it’s March and to graduate you need an 80, your grade is a 54%. Your teacher knew you’d be able to fix it with a little hard work and determination so she set you up to meet with Lia everyday for the rest of the year. That leads you up to now, the first day you have to meet with Lia.
You walked into the library and saw Lia sitting alone, smiling as she looked out one of the windows. Your gaze followed hers and all she was watching was the clouds. You swore you could see her lips moving as if she was talk, but upon a broaching her you realized she was singing softly. You brushed it off and decided to just bite the bullet and get this over with.
“Choi.” You stood behind her and loudly called her name. She jumped in her seat before turning around “o-oh hi Y/N...I’m tutoring you?” You nodded and sat down next to her, it was very clear that she was scared out of her mind. You found it kind of cute.
“Ok um. Let’s get started then...anatomy. Uh wh-what’s it you aren’t understanding? I mean not that you aren’t understanding. I bet you do understand. You probably understand a lot of things! You-” You cut off her nervous rambling. “Relax. I’m not going to hurt you.” Those few words were the only thing she needed to hear to relax and talk normally.
Throughout the next few weeks you met up with her everyday. You slowly started to catch feelings for Lia and she definitely did too. She’d grab your hand over the table when you two were studying, you’d pretend not to notice. You would just stare at her admiring her beauty while she was asking you a question. She’d laugh at your blushing face when you came back to your senses, mumbling a “you’re so cute” under her breath too.
You liked being around Lia. She was truly an amazing tutor, she knew how to motivate you to do better. You could see her excitement when you got a question right and how much she wanted to help you when you got one wrong. She spent her own free time color coding diagrams and making flash cards just for you.
“That’s not fair! When she tutored me she made me write and color everything. What do you have that I don’t?” Yuna whines as she watched you flip through pages of worksheets Lia made for you. You smiled to yourself knowing she was doing this because she liked you.
Your younger friend whines about how unfair it was. See, Yuna was tutored by Lia for a math class as well as biology. You laughed “stop whining. Go bother Ryu, i’m busy, I have my final tomorrow.” The younger girl sighed and left you alone in the study room, running off to find her other best friend.
The bell rang and you went to your locker, a small note fell out reading:
You’ll do great, make me proud
- Lia ☀️
You smiled and tucked the post it note into your pocket.
When you took your exam it was a lot easier then you thought it’d be. You finished second to last but that was because you went over your answers at least fourteen times before turning it in. “I’ll be handing these back on your way out, for the remaining hour please work on something else quietly.” Your teacher collected the papers and got to grading them.
That was probably the best thing about being in a small class. There only being 14 kids in class with you, your tests, quizzes, and exams were always graded quickly. To pass the time you pulled out your phone, knowing your teacher wouldn’t care, after all everyone feared you.
On the way out you got your paper, nervously you flipped it over and saw you earned a 97% on it. You smiled knowing that this was the last thing you needed to get an A on to pass the class for the semester.
You walked out of the room to go find Lia in the library. After circling around the library and all the study rooms you didn’t see her. That was unusual, she was always here. She practically lived in the library. On your way out you noticed her backpack hanging on the back of a chair and her laptop on a table, but that was it. You felt a pit form in your stomach...something wasn’t right here.
You snatched her belongings up and sprinted out the doors to go find her. You ran into Yuna and Ryujin in the hallways and asked “where’s Lia?” Ryujin shrugged and Yuna responded “I think she’s in the back hallway? I heard some boy earlier saying he was gonna ask her out.” You asked “who? what boy?” Yuna replied “i don’t know he was a little taller than me, pretty muscular, he looked like a player though.”
Your eyes widened as you realized she as with the schools known player. He was the kind of guy to ask a girl on a date and not take no for an answer. He’d cheated on a fair share of girls from other schools as well. Just an all around piece of garbage.
You reached the back hallways and there they were. You watched from a distance and did your best to listen in. Lia was trying her best to politely decline his offer but he wasn’t letting up. She’d managed to stay steps ahead of him as she walked towards the exit which would get her to a more populated area. Just as she was about to walk away for good he grabbed her shoulder forcefully to turn her around. You heard her whimper and you saw her eyes covered in fear.
Without hesitation you grabbed him by the shoulder and pulled him. He pushed Lia away so he could focus on you, and Lia fell to the ground with a thud. You heard her soft sobs, an unfamiliar anger courses through your veins. You felt your mind go completely blank, your only thought was “i’m about to beat the life out of him” .
You threw a punch and your hand collided with his jaw making him take a few steps back. You shoved him in the chest and he fell to the ground before holding him up by the shoulder and throwing a few more punches, adding a slap or two just because. Your eyes filled of fire, you only felt yourself getting angrier, stronger with every punch.
You weren’t showing signs of stopping anytime soon, adrenaline flowing through your veins. As you were about to deliver another punch you felt someone grab your hand. You saw Ryujin standing over you “stop. You’ve done enough. Take her and go, I’ll take care of him.” You grabbed him by the collar and said what you thought was only loud enough for the two of you “I swear to God if you ever think about laying your nasty hands on or near my girl again, I won’t stop. There won’t be anyone to hold me back. And i’ll make sure of it.” You let him go, letting him fall back into the lockers behind him.
You stood up and walked over to where Lia was, still laying on the ground. Making sure you had her backpack as well as yours before you scooped her up in your arms. She whimpered softly “Y/N?” Tears were still on her cheeks, her eyes puffy. You shushed her “shhh just close your eyes it’s fine. I’m here you’re ok.” You carried her in your arms all the way home, internally thanking your older brother and dad for making you take boxing and weightlifting classes with them.
When you got home you kicked the door open and laid Lia on your sofa. You left her to rest for a minute and you went to check if you got any part of your face scatched up. Luckily only your lip was bleeding which wasn’t something to worry about.
You went back to see Lia, her eyes fluttered open and she seemed more aware than before. She asked “wha-where am i?” You responded “you were in and out. I brought you home...well my home.” You told her “you have a cut on your forehead, let me fix it.” She grabbed a hold of your hand, which made your heart beat faster.
“Here” You lifted her onto the counter so she was at level with you. You grabbed a cotton ball and doused it in hydrogen peroxide and said “it’s gonna sting.” The second you placed it on her forehead she squeezed her eyes shut, a few tears leaking out as her one hand squeezed yours. You patted it dry with a cloth before putting a hot pink bandaid over the cut.
You pressed it on and smoothed your thumb over it gently. Before this moment you never really took a good look at Lia’s face. Sure you knew she was beautiful but this... she was more than that. Lia’s eyes scanned your face as well until the two of you met eyes. Slowly you felt her legs wrap around your waist and her arm rested on your shoulder. Bringing your thumb up you wiped away one of her tears and said “pretty girls like you shouldn’t cry.”
She asked “earlier...you said i’m your girl?” You replied “not unless you want to be.” She smiled softly before leaning in slowly. You followed her lead before your lips touched softly. Your hand cupped her cheek and you held her fsce as if it was the most precious and valuable thing you’d ever had.
When you two pulled away she shyly smiled before saying “yeah, i do. I want that a lot actually.” You pulled her into your embrace, she kept her head in the crook of your neck. Her breath steadily hitting your skin.
She told you “thank you...i don’t know what i’d do without you.” You pulled her away and told her “thank you too...i got a 97 on my final, I don’t know what I’d do without you too.” Her eyes lit up and she kissed you “i’m so proud of you. Really it was all you.” You laughed, holding her close once again “it was half and half.” Holding her head close to you, you kissed the side of her head and stroked her hair softly feeling her relax against you. “Fine. Half and half.” She giggles against you, pressing soft kisses against your neck as you held her in your embrace.
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pookiesmcbride · 4 years
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*sorry this is very long but i have a bit of a finale headcanon at the end :)*
i’m almost 100% positive that caryl will have an important interaction in the finale. whether it’s canon or something close to it, we’ll get something good for them. the writers wouldn’t leave their relationship how it is right now and especially not when they have the excuse of putting a big caryl moment in a finale. those few seconds of weirdness when carol came back was supposed to be that way, bc we’re supposed to get this feeling that theyve got unfinished business between each other, that no, they’re not on good terms rn and it’s never rly been like this between them before- but it could never stay that way.
further proof that we’ll get something is that carol went back to ASZ to make things right with those she loves, bc “it’s never too late.” considering carol doesn’t open up to her fam much, if at all, kelly is a great first step in this direction. we need to remember that carol probably never opened up to Ed all those years bc it most likely ended in a beating. plus with tobin she wore a mask the entire time, and she never wanted to open up to ezekiel either, which was kinda the cause of their rise and their downfall. zeke never knew the “real carol”, so she was content to live this little fairytale bc she could ignore all these demons in her head. there’s a common theme with carol and wearing these masks, and ending up alone a lot, hence the mention of “lonewolf” from kelly.
IMO, the last person, if not the only person ever, that carol has actually opened up to is daryl. he’s the one person noticing that she’s not being herself, and thus the only one that is caring about that. in 10x14 i think carol realizes this fact. “i could never let that happen.” she knows how important daryl is to her and if she ever wants to get to her real, happy self in the future, she’s gotta go back to daryl and make sure he’s okay, and that their relationship is okay. he’s the only one that really truly knows her, and considering hes one of the first in carol’s life to be this person for her, it’s overwhelming.
the problem now is talking to him. she wants to, and i believe he wants to as well, but it’s carol who’s gotta make the move here. getting thru the nitty gritty with him is so much harder than kelly because she knows him so much better, and she has it engrained in her head that she’s ruined his future and their important bond from her actions, how do you even begin to talk about that ya know? any word i say could ruin this forever, wtf do i even say? she was crying even talking to kelly, with daryl her emotions will be tenfold.
daryls done everything he could to let her know he’s a safe space - and his frustration rn is that she’s still running and not wanting to take him up on his many offers to talk to him- but she needs to decide. talking to kelly is a good baby step to get this courage to talk to him. like oh, maybe all of this turmoil and hatred is coming from my own head, my fam doesn’t actually despise me as much as i think. daryl probably still does, but there’s a chance he may not, maybe i’ll go take the chance.
i’m not sure how this conversation will begin or the circumstances they’ll be in when they do this. (i do think tho that connie will be revealed as dead beforehand) . maybe carol will blurt it out when they’re pushing back a big horde or something, or maybe there’s a moment of quiet in the hospital and they’ll be sitting like they were when carol was hallucinating daryls speech about his dad. i have no idea. but i imagine they’ll say some things like this.
“daryl..do you wanna know why i asked you not to hate me? ive told you before that i cant lose you, but it’s more than just in death. so much more. you’re the person that could bring me back from this. sometimes i get really caught up in this shit but i always seem to come back to you and things get a little better. you don’t have to forgive me for what happened, please don’t. i deserve it. but i just... really need you with me. you’re the last one daryl.. the last one who knows me. i cant be alone with myself.
did anyone ever tell you about what happened to lizzie and mika? *proceeds to choke thru the story and how she’s being plagued by her kids all the time. i imagine daryl begins holding her thru this and she’s talking into his chest/shoulder* I’m a fucking monster daryl. i kill kids and anyone else who’s in my path. dont forgive me for what happened in that cave either. i hate that i didn’t listen to you. i didn’t listen to a word you said and now connies gone. *starts sobbing* you tried so hard for me and i just... ruined everything for you. the one girl you cared about, the future you were fighting for, daryl i’m just so sorry.”
*i imagine there being some silence as daryl lets carol get all her tears out. then daryl starts talking into her hair or something*
“you know you’re not a monster. the farthest thing from it carol. you’ve saved us more times than i can count on my hands, and that includes you killing lizzie. she could’ve hurt even more people, you did the right thing. and you even saved judith over there, look where she is now *points to judith takin a little nap across the room*
you’ve always got the best intentions. nothing you could do would push me away, you need to know that. what hurts the most is you always try to get away from everyone. from me. *looking into her eyes at this point* you think everyone hates you enough to be fine with you gone? carol i can’t lose you as much as you do me... and that’s terrifying. *chuckles* never realize i need you more than when you’re not here. never felt i needed anyone before i met you, honest. *goes back to hugging her to his chest so he can get the courage to say this next part*
you were the first person i tried to find when that cave collapsed. i stayed put in those woods a few days ago waiting, just staring into the dark for you to come back to us. the reason i fought so hard for you to fight for a future is that i wanted you to be here for mine. you’re the only one i can see clearly in it, and if you were dead... god i dunno where i’d be. but you’re the girl i care about. connie was a great friend, but i really just need you. i just... please stay.”
*then i imagine carol carefully moving away from his chest with tears in her eyes and the biggest smile, she wipes his tears a bit and keeps her hand there. they stare at each other for a quick sec then look at each other’s lips, slowly moving in then BOOM cockblock from something and now we have to wait until s11*
sorry this ended up being vv long all in all I HAVE HOPE OK hope y’all are staying healthy and hopefully we don’t have to wait too long for this beauty🥺
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doinbetter · 4 years
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this is very personal so i completely understand if u don’t want to share!! but i know you have mentioned that you have struggled with an eating disorder in the past. so i’m wondering how you are doing and how you’ve sort of fixed ur eating habits and patterns and how they’ve changed to become more healthy? like have you struggled with binge eating or self control issues with food for example?
i’d like to open this w this is NOT a guide for how to manage an eating disorder & if anyone’s reading this that’s struggling with one, you should get help if you can. you’ll see that that’s hypocritical of me but I don't rly want anyone to go through what I’ve been through w it. 
I’m definitely comfortable with sharing it, but this does get super personal lol so if u don't care to see this or if you’re gonna be a dick about it, i’d prefer if you didn’t read this all. 
ok this is a rly long answer but i feel like it’s necessary to see the whole picture to understand where I’m at? I was about to be vague like...
“well its been ok for a few years now and it’s constantly on my mind, but that’s fine bc I can manage it by reducing negative influences and eating a balanced diet! :))) maybe I’ll get help when I’m older!!!:)))))”
but I’m giving my long answer. I wouldn’t want someone seeing this like “oh! she just eats healthy and it’s fine now!” I just can not minimize this and make it seem less important than it is. ED’s suck and fuck w your mental / physical health like nothing else. 
My history with my ED: 
I’ve actually been doing relatively well w/ the restricting aspect recently (as in for the past 3 years) barring what I call my “annual bad week.” the worst of the restricting happened first in 7th-8th grade, then in in spring & summer 2017. it usually flares up when my life gets out of balance in some way, like in 7th and 8th grade, 4 of my family members died, my mom was in the hospital, my dad wasn’t emotionally present and I was super insecure in general. junior year, i was in a really toxic friend group & in a REALLYYYY toxic / abusive relationship. 
Regularly, it’s easier for me to force myself to eat than to stop myself from eating. This is why i’ve struggled to get down to a healthy weight since I gained like 40 lbs after my 2017 flare up. (sidenote: this is what people mean when they say heavily restricting isn’t effective for weight loss. I had been restricting for so long, that when I started eating more again, I just couldn’t stop. and now I’m actually overweight, when I started at a healthy weight. but that’s not the worst thing in the world. I’ve just been **slowly** losing that extra weight for the past 2 years in an effort to get to a healthy weight, but it’s so much more taxing when you’re trying to balance wanting to minimize the negative health impacts of being overweight, with not wanting to fall into your ed again.) 
There are still some nights where I overeat, and yea I feel kinda guilty still, but I’m good at not punishing myself for it the next day. imo it’s so much healthier for me to accept being a bit overweight still and overeat sometimes, as long as I'm not quickly gaining or losing weight. 
How I’ve been managing it without therapy (not recommended but I do what I gotta do):
Nowadays, I try to just eat a normal amount of what I’m craving when I’m craving it & to not worry about it, rather than making a big deal about it. and that’s good enough to prevent Major binge/restrict cycles from starting, which was my main issue between my main flare ups (like in 9th / 10th grade). Even if I wasn’t quickly losing a ton of weight, I’d binge eat and then restrict bc I felt guilty, until i binge ate again, then i’d restrict again, & I tied my worth/confidence to what I was eating. 
My body image has also improved a lot as i’ve gotten older, and my weight has regulated now that I’m not in a relationship. i’ve been in some unhealthy friend groups & relationships, but now that i’m not in those situations, my habits are a lot healthier. 
until I’m able to get formal help for it, I’m just trying to live the most balanced lifestyle possible- which includes choosing healthy relationships, not getting too stressed/ leaving stressful situations, getting the right amount of exercise, sleeping plenty, and being mindful about food without letting it control my emotions. 
therapy thoughts:
i haven’t gotten help for it yet, but really I should and want to. it’s mostly just money holding me back, bc I don't want to approach my parents with it to get help paying for it. there are reasons that I don’t want them to know, and I’m not sure they even really “believe” in therapy anyways bc I asked for it junior year and they didn’t think I needed it. unfortunately, they’re still the generation that thinks you only need therapy if things are Really Visibly Bad, and things never got visibly bad for me- I’ve always looked healthy. 
My actual health / life hasn’t been at risk in recent years, but I do trust myself to know when I’m getting junior-year-level bad again. It’s definitely on my mind, but luckily I’m able to manage it so that it doesn’t physically manifest. 
But I definitely want to see a professional ASAP, and definitely before I have children of my own, because a lot of my disordered tendencies can be tied directly to my mom. it has become painfully obvious that she’s always had a bad body image and unhealthy eating habits, and she passed a lot of that onto me by a) not setting a good example, but more importantly b) by congratulating me when I lost noticeable weight (even tho I was always at a healthy weight & had no need to lose weight in the first place) and by condemning me and humiliating me when I gained weight. 
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excorcismic · 4 years
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YES i caved n’ decided to pick up my boy and YES i’m trying ,,, to right a quick rundown and plotting post while yearning for the sweet release of sleep bc orientation sapped me of all my energy BUT !! i’m , , ,  so excited . to pick up leon . so excited . i love this man more than anything and i’m OVER THE MOON to pick him up so let’s get on with it before i repeat myself one more time !!
IN A CANON NUTSHELL : so leon is a character originating from resident evil 2 ; he’s considered one of the chief protagonists of the series , but not the first . in his first appearance he’s a rookie cop and his first day on the job , raccoon city is overrun by zombies ( infected humans rather than the undead , though ) and after that day . . . leon can’t do it & because of his heroism for dealing with the raccoon city debacle , he’s made into a government agent instead . in resident evil 4 , he’s tasked with rescuing ashley - the president’s daughter - and ends up uncovering & battling a cult known as the los illuminados as they have their own zombie virus known as the plaga . then . . . in resident evil 6 dude ends up actually . killing the president because of the president getting infected with a zombie virus . long story short , leon’s been through a shit ton of zombie apocalypses ( and other monsters the virus creates ) and he’s exhausted . he tries to go on a vacation and then chris redfield busts in like that dancing paul rudd gif so even THEN homie can’t catch a break . but he’s a very good dude & perhaps one of the most good-hearted , selfless people on the planet - it’s just sad because he started out with so much hope and after witnessing so much horror that hope fades and is replaced with exhaustion & even a bit of cynicism . but not enough as to where he turns into a person that won’t give you the shirt off his back because oh yeah , he is . he’s just maybe a bit more distant and doesn’t smile as much as he used to . 
IN AN ALUCARD NUTSHELL : so leon is a former paramedic ( that sometimes still is called to do things ) turned hospital nurse - he was known for being the hero of the story multiple times in horrifying cases , and he’s overall gotten a pretty good reputation as a medic . however , the reason why he moved onto nursing was because the stress got too much for him for those dire situations after his divorce from his wife - miss cordelia chase . and now he’s just kind of trying to get through things but . things aren’t the best on his end even though he’ll try his best to power on through . he’s pretty okay but not great you know ?? 
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BUT OOOOHHHH YOU WANNA PLOT WITH LEON SO BAD OOOOHHH
just to start off by saying idk if this list will be as long as misa’s bc it’s currently shortly after midnight and i’m getting more and more tired & incoherent as the clock just ticks away -
BUT ANYWAY . ppl who routinely come into the office / hospital he works at would be p cool and know him pretty well as a nurse from that . he doesn’t work in the ER most of the time ; though sometimes . he mainly is in the office doing stuff for checkups and all , clinical things . honestly tho it would be a bit of an interesting connection if sb went to the ER for embarrassing / stupid reasons ( party gone embarrassingly wrong , for example ) and leon’s the guy that has to help with it . just a Thought .
also coworkers !! idk if we have anyone from the medical field yet but there’s also that .
again he was married to cordelia so if ppl who know cordelia know him as cordelia’s ex-husband we can run w/ that and make smth out of that as well .
leon is also . kinda . lonely . like misa . can y’all see I Have A Type when it comes to muses AHHH - but anyways he spends a lot of his nights at bars and stuff so maybe some drinking/bar buddies he sticks with or the like . maybe waiters/bartenders who know him pretty well just from the fact he’s a regular , kinda know what’s going on with the dude .
like misa , neighbors . he’s not a spunk twenty-four year-old emo-fashioned mr. rogers like misa is but he’s a caring dude who looks out for them .
speaking of caring - maybe some ppl leon’s saved as a paramedic or in general just patients he treated for a while ?? i just . rly like the thought of leon caring for people on the job and then he finds them outside of it and he subtly cares for them off the job too . maybe even if it’s doing as much as sitting with them or comforting them when a loved one’s in the hospital or something . idk i just . like how much leon cares abt people .
okay so people from high school bc i lowkey headcanon leon wasn’t a troublemaker but he was more of a bad boy/rebel type just for the fact he had a tendency to do things that weren’t . by the rules . by the book . never mean or anything just maybe sometimes would hang out at abandoned buildings or late at night and now he’s significantly mellowed out and maybe that rebel is still somewhere inside of him but ur gonna have to dig it out a bit . and this could rly be anything too like friends , enemies , exes ( leon is bi u can pry that from my cold dead hands ) , etc . prom / homecoming dates , people who only knew him as a kid that got busted once for drinking alcohol in the back of somebody’s truck , etc . let’s have Fun with this .
also in general , just some good friends he’s always had ?? people who’ve known him for a long while and have still stuck with him .
exes !! whether it be pre-marriage or post-divorce . post-divorce i don’t think leon would rly stick in the relationship for long given he more than likely was not prepared at the time ( probably didn’t go past a few months , def some were just one-shot dates ) . again , he’s bi & capcom cannot take that away from me .
maybe a found family of sorts - leon . . . would be a great dad so maybe some younger folks he kinda dads over without meaning to .
AND AGAIN RLY . . . anything i’m sorry if this isn’t as detailed as misa’s bt IF I GET MORE IDEAS I SHALL ADD !!
this is long again i’m so sorry bt again react or like if ur interested in any of these connections !! imma retire 2 mobile n try to get some shut-eye .
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i8jisoo · 4 years
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𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐘 𝐊𝐈𝐃𝐒 ⇉ skz with pregnant!reader 
changbin x reader | part three of dad!skz
↬ genre; fluff & angst for a lil bit woo
↬ warnings; talk of perinatal depression, cursing, n labor 
↬ notes; changbin babi 🥺  ALSO ITS CHANGBIN DAY WOOO ITS MY BABYS BDAYYYYY SO I HAD TO POST THIS |
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u two had just freshly started an official, public relationship
ofc changbin was freaking out while he was chilling in the bathtub behind the curtain so u could pee on the test already
u two were looking at the line coming in, praying that there would be only o n e 😳
slowly the other line comes in, dark blue n clear alongside the other one
“holy fuck—“
“what do we do?” you asked, your voice wavering while setting the test back down
his hands cupped your face, giving u a soft kiss n hugging you
“we got this, we’re having a baby, baby!” he started to joke and yall burst out laughing while crying in the bathroom
the first few months were amazing
ur lil bump sprouted out n u two were so happy about it
changbin is just so attentive and excited about this pregnancy and his first born
u really couldn’t have been better with ur lil family that was starting to become realer with each day
u two r such bullies yall r like
“what happened? ur a softie now binnie!!”
n he’d say shit like, “well at least i don’t pee every hour on the clock!!”
he makes u cry one time n u use that against him everytime u want something bc he feels guilty >:)
cute lil things like asking the baby what they want to eat or talking to it before the bed
(changbin reads the baby goodnight moon one time and ur just so in love like wow 🥺)
he secretly talks to the baby when you sleep every night because hes waiting for when ur little bean will reply back with a kick or a hand
he is W H I P P E D for u n ur baby bump
nursery is already done at five months
he needs all of the boys to come over though to help him figure out the instructions 😳 these are co nfusi ngg
they notice how smiley n giggly he is when he talks about u two and looking at the finished crib hes just so proud
yall r so happy and content with ur baby that was an accident, but u guys are so happy this happened
but something changes within u
changbin notices your lack of interest in the pregnancy during ur sixth month
ur sleeping pattern was off n u would sleep for hours during the day and night
u were very irritable, not wanting changbin to cuddle with u or kiss u like he did everytime he came back from practice :(
u were always unhappy and always so moody, he just wanted u to be happy 🥺
he is so confused and worried ab u, some days ur not eating or some days u don’t even wake up in the mornings like u used to
sometimes— just sometimes he’d come back home to find u in the same spot, asleep
he’s so fucking scared when ur around seven months that he can’t hold it in anymore
“are—are you okay?” he questions u from the doorway, making u stop to look at him in the mirror
ur eyes were cold, setting down the towel u were drying ur hair with and leaving him by himself while heading into ur bedroom
“don’t you dare fucking walk away from me.”
ur s h oo k
he was really nice during the pregnancy everyday, super bubbly and kind so u were shocked to hear his upset tone
“i can and i will, i’ll just go sleep in another fuckin room.” u mumbled, changbin grabbing ur hands and turning u around to face him
u struggle for a bit while ur arguing with him and telling him to let go so u could go to sleep
“stop! i am your boyfriend, i am the only one who is going to care for you like this. i am the only one who is dying, seeing you like this. do you understand? we’ve been through seven months of this together, it was fine for awhile and now you’re fucking turning me away?”
hes shouting at this point, hes just so pissed after three months of not having answers and your attitudes and arguments, he cannot handle it
u start crying
hes quick to hold you, pulling u down to the bed so u don’t have to stand on ur tired feet anymore
“i don’t know what’s wrong with me.” 🥺🥺🥺
he insists u two will find out n u both will get thru this rough patch together
perinatal depression, they diagnosed u
changbin is so upset when he hears the doctors tell u
everything is making sense to him and he’s just so heartbroken he didn’t put two and two together earlier
he takes time off for the time being to make sure ur taking care of urself
hes watching u like a hawk but trying not to make it evident
the first time u ask him for a kiss, he gives u dozens
he hadn't been asked for kisses in so long he was so relieved 🥺
he’s constantly telling u how beautiful u r and talking to ur bump about how they have the best genes and their uncles
this man is a father already it seems
he is ur #1 face mask partner cause he buys the cute ones only because u deserve the cute ones that r ur favorite ◝(ᵔᵕᵔ)◜
cooking together is something that happens, not often but every once in awhile he will let u do small things
cut up some lettuce? sure! pour in the soup broth? of course u can! taste test his food? always.
he wants to make sure ur comfortable with him touching u or kissing u or what hes saying
“i love you.” he’s mumbling, quickly placing a kiss against the fabric of one of his own shirts that was worn by u and fit u like a dress still
he then goes up to ur cheek n presses a kiss to it, ur hand cupping his jaw and letting him kiss ur lips >.<
also u guys let out a quiet talk of pregnancy to the public, letting jyp release a notice on changbin’s absence from live-streams and posts with the boys
u two received a lot of positive feedback which changbin let u read the positive ones n loved when u smiled at each one
u were overdue by a week which was the worst, ur back hurt and u had migraines
u also were put on bed-rest for the next week before u could be inducted
u guys waited out the week and u got scheduled for an induction
the labor was really slow which sucked because u just wanted to hold ur baby already :(
rly intimate moments like chan just holding u n rocking u like a baby
u guys are given this position to move the baby down, your knees on the ground so u could kneel against the bed and changbin would hold ur hips n rock them
he just feels so bad he can’t do anything to help u with the pain 🥺
yall kinda vibing with the hospital food (idk bout yall but some food from hospitals smack chile)
“i just want to go home.” :(
u bet ur ass he scoots into ur hospital bed, holding ur hands n u just cry into his shoulder
he feels like his heart is being torn to pieces when he listens to u cry out of pain
his free hands holds your jaw, making u look up at him
“we’re almost done baby, okay? i know it hurts, if i could i would take your pain in a heartbeat. you are incredibly strong and i’m so proud of you. you just need to hang in here for a few more hours, yeah? you think you can do that?”
u give him the weakest smile ever but its better than nothing
u reach 10cm!!!
now the part that wasn’t fun was the pushing :/
u were hurting, u were tired, and u had been promised almost seven times that all u need was one more push but no matter what, it seemed like the baby wasnt budging
“the cord is wrapped around the neck, we need you to stop pushing. okay?”
ur too tired and stopping the pushing sounded good so u did as they said but when they told u they needed to actually reach in and unwrap it ur blood ran cold
u both were worried about how much u could take
u screamed, god it hurt and it felt like hours of them twisting but it was a mere minute
the labor progressed n there it was
“a girl!”
u two are like faucets or waterfalls
shes literally the perfect mixture of u both 🥺
he washed her hair n helped wrap her up in a blanket, giving her over to u for the first time
u both were just in love with her, she was absolutely perfect
he’s obsessed with her, taking in that baby scent, the scent of the light baby shampoo and the bit of baby powder that lingered throughout her onesie
her hair wooooww its so soft n fluffy
her little baby pout and her puffy cheeks
i can see him calling her bunny for awhile as a childhood nickname
he’ll just be like
“oh that’s my bunny!!”
weird look from u but ur heart melts while he bounces her in his arms n gives her some kissies and running his fingers thru her hair
he’s also rly soft, i don’t see him singing but i see him definitely whispering to her about how she’s gonna grow up and have the best life because thats his little girl
“ur gonna have eight uncles, they are crazy but it’s okay. u definitely lucked out on fathers though, i’m pretty good at lullaby's. u did get great genes too, u have a handsome daddy and a gorgeous mommy. we worked really hard on making u, please don’t hurt ur cute little face. u also have a storm coming, there’s a thing called stays, they are gonna adore you, i promise.”
omgomgomgomg jejejejeje im blushing at the thought of this i just adore dad changbin 
u guys may or may not be planning for another but it definitely would happen in a few years
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