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tlouadditc · 9 months

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screw the cops!!

cop!ellabs x dealer!reader

warnings: 18+, MDNI, smut with plot, mentions of drugs [marijuana], cop!ellabs, dealer!reader, a lil bit of knifeplay, dom!ellabs, sub!reader, use of y/n, reader gets cut a lil bit oops!, probably more but i cant think of it rn

last minute a/n: this was another ask i forgot to put under the question ☹️ anyway thank u for the ask!!

[10:06 pm]

MY FAV ;): heyyy u got an 8th?? i can pick up at the library in 15 :)

you read the text, grumbling as you get up from your couch. you quickly shoot back:

YOU: lmk when ur there

it was supposed to be an off-day; sit in your dorm, watch tv, maybe have someone over, but no. everyone needed your shit at all times. she's lucky she's your favorite -- otherwise you would've told her to fuck off.

locking your door behind you, you get in your car and pull out of your driveway. as you glide through the gentle darkness, you feel random anxiety, like something bad is happening. it could be the lack of sleep. it could be the upcoming deadline you haven't started. it could also be the fact the entire campus is being searched because some dumbass freshman left his- no, sorry, YOUR- weed in his dorm and got the cops called. he didn't snitch luckily; he knows you would've gotten him killed if he did. but now there's a patrol going on until they find who's distributing. it's not like you wanted to live this life- you barely graduated high school, getting a small scholarship to a local college. the debt hit you, parents refused to help you anymore because you're an adult, blah blah blah blah. you ended up here to finally make a stable income and not have to chose between being warm or being fed consistently.

the sob story makes you cringe, snapping back into reality as you park in a spot by the front of the campus library. you pull out your phone and send:

YOU: here. wya

3 bubbles quickly pop up, written with a response:

MY FAV ;): kk coming out now

as you read the text, you hear the front doors swing open and a tall, slim figure gets larger as it comes closer. as she steps into the streetlight, you see her; sophomore dina. her long, onyx hair dances down her back as she comes closer to your car. she rests one arm on your window, other arm reaching into her pocket. she pulls out 35 bucks, tilting her head to the side slightly and smirking. you hand her a small baggie and take the bills out of her hand, shoving it into your pocket. "you're the best," she gushed, taking her arm off your window. she starts to turn to walk back to the library when she says, "oh, by the way, gave my friend your number."

you freeze, looking up at her in pure horror. "you what?"

"okay, chill, she's cool," she quickly explains, putting a hand on her hip in annoyance.

you roll your eyes, "the entire campus is getting fucking raided, for god's sake. cmon, dina."

"so, what? not everyone's a dumbass like that kid was."

you sigh. you guess she's right. plus, more business for you in the long run. she gives some information about this girl; her names ellie. she's a sophomore majoring in astrophysics who transferred from another school in jackson. around 5'5, auburn hair, science nerd. "pretty sure she's gay, too," dina winks.

you roll your eyes once more before pulling out and returning home. as soon as you unlock the door and step in, you check your other phone, an unknown number's texts sitting on the lock screen.

[UNKNOWN NUMBER]: hii this is y/n right?

[UNKNOWN NUMBER]: dina gave me ur number

gotta be ellie, you think to yourself. kinda cute. you don't respond; you hate small talk. no point in trying to get to know each other if you already know what they want. you put your phone down and start to get ready for bed.

an hour later, you get out of your shower and into comfy clothes. as you get into your freshly made bed, your other phone buzzes. you would usually ignore it, but you remember; debate checking the message or leaving it alone until tomorrow. eventually, curiosity gets the best of you and you check your phone. you groan as you read the message:

[11:37pm]

EL: i know its late but can u drop off? i need it :(

goddamnit, leave me alone!

you type up some message along the lines of 'im off today, ask tomorrow bitch,' but decide to be nice. you don't know why, but you only respond with the following:

YOU: off today. ask tmr

3 dots in a bubble move swiftly as a response pops up on your screen:

EL: pleaaaaase itll be quick

you sigh. she's not gonna let up; just like dina.

YOU: fine. ill b at the library.

she hearts your message as you throw on some sweatpants and grab your keys. you go on the same drive but you feel no anxiety this time. it's a newbie, for god's sake- she's the one who's probably nervous. you even put on some music this time, drake lowly lulling in your vehicle. you pull up, same spot as earlier, and you turn down your music. you go to text her, but the doors open before you can press a letter. she's just as dina described- until she gets up to your window. her scattered freckles complimented her bright, emerald eyes. her friendly expression made you soft under her gaze. you didn't realized she was talking for a while until she whispered, "uh... hello?"

"what?" you said, clearly perplexed. she smiled as you remembered what you're there for. she hands you 25 bucks as you place the baggie in her free hand. she lets out a silent "thanks" before you get ready to drive back home.

"uh, actually," she suddenly blurted out, catching your attention. she seemed nervous, like she had something to say, but she was scared of the outcome. "do you mind.. uh.. giving me a ride back home? i mean i walked down here and it's dark so-"

"hop in," you interrupted. it was pretty dark and you wouldn't want patrol on her ass about being out by herself, so you decided to get it over with. she pranced around to the passengers side and practically jumped in.

the ride to her dorm was quiet. ellie was on her phone the entire time; you assumed it was her roommate asking her where she's at. there was a bit of tension you could feel in the air; what type? you couldn't answer that.

coming to a stop at the entrance of her dormitory, she thanked you once again before you prepared to go home yourself.

"you could stay the night," she mumbled, fumbling with the bag in hand.

"what? no- no, i can't do that," you answered. you weren't against staying over, but... going home with someone you literally met an hour ago? absolutely not.

"jus' c'mon. it's late," she insisted, biting her lip anxiously. "plus, i owe you." you sight and give in, turning off the engine and ignition before grabbing your keys and phone and joining her on the walkway. she smiled politely and led you to her dorm.

the entire time you were walking with her, you assessed her appearance in clearer light. her hair was a shaggy cut, parted to the side and tucked behind her ears even though some stray strands still stood. her eyes were welcoming and friendly, giving you a warm feeling of hope. she had a tattoo on her right arm; a fern and a small butterfly. you debate asking her the meaning, but decide against it.

you snap out of your trance when you make it to her door. she unlocks the door and gently pushes it in, leaving room for you to step inside. "come in!"

you take 3 steps inside before you're pushed to the ground and pinned by strong, rough hands. "what the fuc- hey!" you start to shout. you squirm, hopelessly attempting to be freed from the tight grasp of what you thought was a male officer.

"you're under arrest," an unfamiliar, feminine voice states, "for possession and distribution of marijuana. you have the right to remain silent at this time." you see ellie's shoes standing in front of you, silently taunting you as you're handcuffed.

fuck, i should've never trusted her.

you're patted down and escorted to an unmarked car, parked around 30 feet away from your car. the unfamiliar figure is a tall, built woman with a long, blonde braid swinging down her back. her calloused hand grips you tightly as you're being walked. once you reach the vehicle, you're thrown into the back and the door slams in your face. you don't argue or protest; you were caught after one fuck up.

"didn't expect to catch her so easily," ellie brags, slightly looking back at you. you scowl at her, feeling betrayed by not only ellie, but dina, too. she had [hopefully] unknowingly helped them ruin your life. you were for sure not going to be able to finish college now. you wouldn't be able to get a job nice enough to stabilize your life. not to mention the possibility for 5 years of jail time and fees. it all made your head hurt. tears weld up in your eyes as you started to really let reality sink in.

"aw, she's crying," the blonde officer teased, looking at you through the rear-view mirror. you blinked back the tears before spitting out, "fuck you."

"the fuck you just say to me?"

"you heard me; fuck. you."

you could see her jaw clench, her bone well-defined under her skin. "oh, i know you wanna fuck me." a snicker was heard from the auburn girl.

the hell??

it was a weird response, but you decided to play into it. you're already being sent to jail; why not have fun?

"you wouldn't do anything about it if i wanted to anyway."

you saw the blonde's eyes go wide and her jaw drop with disbelief, looking over at her partner. ellie seemed calm, but intrigued by the situation. it was silent, but the way their eyes met was like they were talking through eye contact. ellie tilts her head towards you, signaling something to the other officer. as if she could read her mind, the blonde nods and pulls over to an abandoned alleyway.

"what's going on?" you question, attempting to hide the fear in your voice, but failing miserably. the blonde got out of the car and slammed the door shut as ellie simply answered, "you said we wouldn't do anything, hm?"

a shiver went down your spine as the door to your right opened, the blonde hopping in as you scooted all the way to your left.

"uh-uh, come here," she demanded as her hand wrapped around your neck and dragged you back to her. at this moment, your back rests against her toned thighs, handcuffed hands under your ass, legs laying on the seat.

"you wanna be disrespectful to me and my partner?" she jerks your head up, making you look at her. her sharp features take up your vision as she looks down at you with dark eyes. "you think you were just gonna get away with that? nuh-uh, not on my watch." you take your gaze off her face to read her badge, which reads "ABBY ANDERSON".

you're so focused on abby that you don'r realize ellie is on the other side of you, watching you and abby interact. you feel a sharp object on your jeans, scoring against the material. your head jerks down to see ellie running a pocketknife over your clothed cunt, fear and adrenaline running through you all at once. your breathing picks up speed as she cuts through your jeans, making a hole in the crotch. abby chuckles at your reaction, caressing your face as she coos, "not so tough now, huh?"

you're too caught up in looking at ellie's actions to respond. she puts the knife down, letting a feeling of relief wash over you. she mutters a "fuck it" before placing both hands on either side of the hole she made and ripping your jeans. you gasp, anxiety filling you once more. she smirks up at you, grabbing her knife and running it over your barely covered pussy. she loves the way you try to get away from her knife, silent cries as she gets closer to the meat of your thigh. she slightly cuts into you, small drops of blood racing down your inner thigh. you wince in pain, turning back to abby. "shh, it's okay," she reassures, kissing your sweaty forehead. "just a little cut. you're okay." you feel ellie's warm tongue running over the wound, collecting the red liquid. she kisses near your core, green eyes piercing into you before whispering, "so sweet" and smiling. abby gently kisses you, drawing your attention away from your cut to her and only her. she taps her pointer finger on your chin and whispers "open up", which you obey to. her lips purse together, gathering the liquid in her mouth before a ball of saliva drops into your mouth and onto your tongue. "swallow," she commands, and you close your mouth and swallow it, feeling it slip down your throat. she smiles, tapping your cheek lightly as she praises you. "good girl. she's doing so well, isn't she, el?"

ellie hums, hyper-focused on your pooling pussy. "so wet," she says in awe, "all this gets you off, doesn't it?"

you're oh so needy, cunt begging to be touched in any form. you nod ferociously, whining for any friction on your puffy clit. "you want it, yea? beg for it."

"p-please, ill do anything, just fuck me- ohmygod-" you babble, hips bucking up into ellie's face. she chuckles before looking up to abby, meeting her gaze. "she's been so good for us. give her a lil' reward."

with that, ellie cuts your underwear with one swift movement, completely exposing your pussy to her. she gasps at the sight, glistening skin in the low light. she whispers a spew of curses, spreading you apart as abby kisses you passionately. you moan into the kiss as ellie rubs your bud with her thumb. your noises go straight to her core, making her slightly whimper. she lays a flat tongue on your core, soaking up all of your juices on the pink muscle. abby wraps a firm hand around your throat, restricting airflow enough to make you completely feel ellie on you.

"fuck- oh, my god-" you cry, tears welling up in your eyes once more. the feeling is too much; abby kissing you, ellie eating you out- everything is overstimulating you. ellie smiles against your pussy, sucking on your clit while shoving two fingers in you. you whine and squirm away from her, but her other hand keeps you in place.

"i'm gonna- m'cumming- !!" you breathe, clenching around ellie's long fingers. abby praises you through it; "oh, so good for us, baby." "cum all over her fingers f'me, yes." small kisses are planted on your face once again, soothing you through your orgasm. ellie slowly takes her fingers out with a pop! before shoving one glistening finger into her mouth. she moans at the taste of you, maintaining eye contact with you. "shit, so sweet," she murmurs, looking over at abby. "wanna taste?"

"of course," abby says slyly, glancing over at you before sucking on ellie's middle finger, completely cleaning it off. she moans at the taste, finally letting ellie's middle finger go after a couple of seconds. she pulls you into another sloppy, heated kiss, making you taste yourself on her tongue.

"such a sweet thing," she coos, wiping your face. "too bad we gotta take you in now."

"can't let me off with a warning?"

"we would, but we'd be here for much longer and you'd be more bruised up." abby frowns in a mocking manner.

"so you're taking me in with no pants or underwear?"

"yup. don't underestimate us and, more importantly, don't sell drugs."

a/n: this was so fun to write omg ... part 2 will be coming me thinks

#tlouadditc #abby anderson smut #ellie williams smut #the last of us smut #tlou fic #abby anderson #ellie williams #ellabs #ellabs smut #ellabs x reader #lesbian

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absolutebl · 10 months

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This week in BL - I am all over the place, But Laws of Attraction is Phenomenal af

July 2023 Wk 2

Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs. Organized by which ones (in each category) I’m enjoying most.

Ongoing Series - Thai

Laws of Attraction (Thai Sat iQIYI) 1 of 8 - Icky picked it up but it’s not airing for me until Sundays so I held this post specifically to watch and talk about this show. Stars the pair from To Sir With Love with the same production team. IT’S SO GOOD Y’ALL. A morally corrupted trickster lawyer with a tragic past, sad eyes, and a beautiful smile that he uses like a weapon. Meets paladin martial arts instructor from other side of the tracks (who is out, at least to his baby sister). Corrupt police. Spoiled rich kid evil. Ambitious politician. Tragic death. Terrible subs.* This show is very like Manner of Death but so far it is a much better/tighter story. It’s NOT BL but it is fucking phenomenal. And you shoudl watch it. Not wait to binge it. WATCH IT. On a global scale this might be the best thing currently airing featuring gay romantic leads. Its really fucking good. It’s Lawless Lawyer but more complex character motivation and gay af. Fuck yes please and thank you. FINALLY. Triggers for violence, beatings, death & torture depicted on screen. Like MoD they are not holding back. (* A lot of the familial names they are using are not gendered in Thai but translated as such, like “nephew”. This one is gonna go down a lot easier if you know some Thai.)

Step By Step (Tues WeTV & Gaga) ep 12fin - 2 years pass and no one’s hairstyle changes? Srs. Them meeting again = hella AWKWARD. Both still pining & hurt. NO SINGING. The reconciliation scene was great. I enjoyed that on the “do over relationship” they went with phi/pom (instead of the super formal khuns). So cute and so much more relaxed. Also lots of neck kisses! Charming final ep. It’s only flaw being they dropped the side couple, but I wasn’t really into them anyway. Ultimately? This is what Boss & Babe should have been and could we please have Up lead out another BL? I miss him and he only gets prettier. Full review below.

La Pluie (Sat iQIYI) ep 12fin - I adore the tiny little baby GL thread that we almost got. And I wish we had had more of it throughout the show. The side couple turned out to be good too. Emotional crying kisses are my favorite. Sunshine netted himself an earnest serious romantic boy, we likey. As for the main couple? Well... Tai’s search story arc was dull and dragging in a final ep and it felt bloated and slow as a result. It was a good confession reunion with Tai figuring all of his shit out, not surprising but fine. Kind of a a weak final ep. Full review below.

Hidden Agenda (Thai Sun GMMTV YouTube) ep 1 of 12 - JoonDunk are back and we have all seen this a million times before, but Thailand never executed a successful formula it didn’t want to repeat a million times over, drunk bathroom and everything. Welcome (back) to Thai BL (and back and back and back). Basically they just added glasses, a new 1-shared-brain-cell friendship group, and different uni departments. Ah GMMTV, forever trying to recreate the magic of 2gether. But also I’m enjoying it. I’m a simple person. (Hi Jamie! Still in college since 2018 I see.) Anyone else notice that Chinese phrase that they did not translate for us? Mmm hum. Cute. Still... NO SINGING.

Low Frequency (Sat iQIYI) ep 2 of 8 - Thames is in coma and getting slagged off on the socials. It’s moving a bit slowly but the premise is interesting despite the poor quality of the execution.

Dinosaur Love (Sun iQIYI) ep 3 of 8 eps - Major trigger for self harm depicted on screen in part 2/4. I skipped it. Then there is assault and verbal abuse. I told you Ultimate Troop is NOT to be trusted.

Be Mine Super Star (Mon Viki) ep 2 of 12 - Look, I don’t really mind this show but I also don’t like second hand embarrassment and I sense a metric butt ton incoming.

Be My Favorite (Fri YouTube) ep 8 of 12 - I was not best pleased with this episode. Ya’ll round the tumblr-sphere seem to be enjoying it but I have officially hit the wall on Kawi. There is not enough booze for me to cope with his shizz. I may be alone in this. But gotta say how I feel... Unlike him. Trash watch here.

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Tokyo in April is... AKA Shigatsu no Tokyo wa (Japan Thurs Gaga) ep 5 of 8 - Poor Ren, he feels compelled to take on the burden of protecting everyone from sexual assault because he blames himself. And he can’t even talk to his boyfriend about it. Oh fuck me the pair of shoes at the door. And neck kisses? TOO MUCH. Argh. Japan. Why must you hurt so good?

Stay By My Side (Taiwan Fri Gaga) 3 of 10 eps - It’s a very cute show. All the tropes and archetypes with no fuss or attempts to be clever, just executing them (sometimes over and over again). Even hiccoughs as a result of flirting! I haven’t seen that one in ages. The show feels old fashioned as a result. Nostalgic. I’m good with that.

Tie The Not (Pinoy YouTube) ep 6 of 8 - Sad boys still sad now drunk. (Noooooo shoes on bed! Argh.) Finally kisses! Also good ones for a large portion of this ep. Plus hair pulling. And verse rep! And after sex convo. Then side dishes have a whole proper gay ax covo about top/bottom. Everyone say thank you Philippines! get down with your queer selves!

Stupid Genius (Vietnam Fri YouTube) ep 6fin - I believe this was the final episode. It was cute. This is a standard sort of semi-crappy VBL high school drama. Enjoyable in its floppy friendliness, weirdly like a queer after school special promoting education. Dead fish kisses but fine for what it is. 7/10

Minato's Laundromat Season 2 AKA Minato Shouji Coin Laundry Season 2 (Japan Thu Gaga) 2 of 12 eps - Activate cohabitation trope. They okay bfs. Minato not as frustrating this week, but still frustrating for me and Shin. Next week = cute outfits and dumb miscommunication yay!

Vian the series (Vietnam YouTube ) ep 11 of 12 - again it didn’t show up on my dash in time for this. I’ll pop it into next week.

It’s airing but ...

House of Stars (Thai Mon iQIYI) 12 eps - I bounced at ep 3. Will binge if told it is worth it at end.

Stay (Pinoy YouTube) 7 eps - It’s mostly English & set in LA (shudder) so I’m not bothering.

Stay With Me ... NO I WILL NOT! And you can’t make me.

Ended This Week

Step By Step Series Review

This was Thailand’s answer to The New Employee, and everything I loved about that show I loved about this one. This was an office romance between stern boss and sweet subordinate that felt more authentic to an office environment than previous Thai BLs of this ilk. And that authenticity added tension to the narrative and character development (how novel). Now that might be because it has western source material, or it might be because it is actually kind of old-fashioned (it’s been years since I worked as an office grunt). I also really enjoyed the brothers’ relationship, and kinda wished they hadn’t attempted (and failed) to give said brother his own side BL. That one flaw made it a 9/10 for me. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED.

La Pluie Series Review

This BL takes to task the fated mates trope and what it means to have love chained intimately to predestination. It’s about how faith in destiny before choice diminishes the authenticity of emotion, relationships, and connection. This is a high concept to examine through the lens of a BL. By activating + examining the soulmates trope this show is challenging a foundation of romance: the idea that there is one person meant to be your one romantic partner all your life. This means that we, as viewers, spend much of the show worried about it having a happy ending, and that’s the source of both its brilliance and tension: would the narrative have the strength to truly challenge its own romantic core? But, ultimately, all this elevated complexity was executed in a somewhat shaky manner with the narrative derailing into some serious pacing issues and characters manipulated by miscommunication. However, with good chemistry and decent acting all around, plus some excellent high heat and representation of consent and a few other rare tropes, this one has to (like it’s sibling show My Ride) earn a 9/10. I enjoyed it even as it made me think, so despite its flaws: HIGHLY RECOMMENDED.

Next Week Looks Like This:

Starting:

7/19 Wedding Plan (Thai Wed YouTube & iQIYI) - It's Mame and she's coming for our GL. She's such a misogynist IMAGINE what we will get with a GL side dish? It's going to be absolute carnage. To crane your neck as you drive by the car wreck or not? That is the question. Me? I'm wallowing in the guts. Trying to decide to trash watch or not...

7/20 Jun & Jun (Korea Thu Viki) - From 2022 I CAN’T FUCKING WAIT! So excited for this one.

2023 forthcoming BL master post (see comments, some are inaccurate, NOT KEPT UPDATED)

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

FYI roselle juice is made from hibiscus (a flower) so technically neither a tea nor a juice. (Hidden Agenda)

Tie the Not = all the verse rep this ep. I love this for them.

The giggling was SO DAMN CUTE (Step by Step, na?)

We all guessed it but it was still fun. (Stupid Genius) Also miracles of miracles, two actors who actually look like they could be brothers play brothers.

First time I’ve seen faen translated as significant other. (Laws of Attraction)

THE PAIN! (Tokyo)

(Last week.)

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cheesysoup-arlo · 29 days

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Cady’s Cousin (pt.2)

(pt. 1)/(pt. 3)/(pt. 4)

A/N: sorry this is mostly like “texting” also the relationship/couples I have in here are (karen and gretchen), (cady and regina), later I’ll add (janis and reader) and maybe (aaron and kevin g) idk maybe lol I won’t be tagging the ships since they’re not the main ship I hope y’all liked this lol

(Sunday 8:30pm)

*Cady created a group chat*

Cads 🦁: hey guys I made this group chat so (Y/N) can get to know you guys, you guys can get to know them, and just for fun 👍

???(1): aw Cady that’s so sweet, this is Aaron by the way lol

(Y/N): can everyone send their name please 🙏

???(2): karen 💕

???(3): Beyoncé

???(4): that’s Damian ^, this is janis 👾

Damian🌟: janis you’re no fun this is homophobia

Janis👾: yeah I hate the gays 🙄

karen💕: ??? u hat me 😞

Janis👾: no not you karen just Damian

karen💕: o okie 😽

???(5): the hottest bitch you’ll meet

(Y/N): hi Regina

Cads🦁: Y/N!!!

(Y/N): cads chill I know she’s off limits

Regina👛: aw baby you’re so cute when you’re jealous

Janis👾: barf 🤮

(Y/N): 😭😭😭

(Y/N): wait where’s Gretchen?

karen💕: sleping 😴

Damian🌟: Important question! Y/n are you one of them queers?

(Y/N): I would be offended if you thought I wasn’t

*damian has named group chat “fruit loops”*

Janis👾: I-

(Y/N): oh that’s-

Damian🌟: OK STOP BEING HOMOPHOBIC TO THE GAY BLACK MAN IM A MINORITY HERE

Regina👛: how’s everyone feeling about school tomorrow? I’m kind of excited mostly because the school cheese fries just hit different yk?

Cads🦁: I’m excited too but for classes I picked an extra math class this year

(Y/N): ha nerd 🤓

(Y/N): I’m nervous lol but at least I have you guys

Janis👾: I’m not excited I hate school it keeps me from doing more important things

(Y/N): like what?

Janis👾: sleeping

Damian🌟: I’m excited I decided that I’m gonna take the new senior only theater class which is a little out of my comfort zone but I’ll manage

Aaron🧍‍♂️: I was supposed to be graduated last year so I’m not excited at all

(Y/N): YOU GOT HELD BACK?!?! WHAT?!?!

Aaron🧍‍♂️: yeah I failed English and history so I couldn’t graduate

Cads🦁: it’s ok Aaron now you get to be with us for another year 😊

(Sunday 11:50pm) fruit loops

(Y/N): guys I can’t sleep

Janis👾: same I’ve been lying very still and it’s not working

Damian🌟: janis did you take the melatonin I gave you?

Janis👾: yeah but it’s not working 😔

Damian🌟: welp that’s a you problem then

(Monday 2:30am) fruit loops

(Y/N): do you think I can fit 40 mini marshmallows in my mouth?

Janis👾: oh absolutely

(Y/N): omg ur still awake too?

Janis👾: yeah lol

(Y/N): I just put 35 mini marshmallows in my mouth idk if I can fit more

Janis👾: if you fit all 40 I’ll give you 5 bucks

(Y/N): challenge accepted

(Monday 2:37am) fruit loops

(Y/N): I fit all 40 and almost choked lmao

Janis👾: lmao nice your $5 will be given at school

(Y/N): yippieeee

(Y/N): dude I literally can’t sleep

Janis👾: wanna call? That’s what me and Damian used to do before he got a good sleep schedule lmao

(Y/N): um sure me and my friend back home used to do that too

*incoming call from Janis👾*

“Hi” you whispered suddenly feeling a little more tired with her company even if it was only over the phone “hey” janis said with a small yawn “nice shirt” you say seeing her Lego movie shirt “oh um thanks” she says with a laugh “so what’s up?” “Let’s take turns asking each other questions until we fall asleep” you say with a little yawn “hmm ok favorite color?” She asks you “ooo definitely (your favorite color), how about you?” “Hmm either green or purple” “ooo good choice, hmm hobbies?” “I sing and write a little but I guess art even though I don’t consider it a hobby it’s more of a lifestyle” “art? Can I see some?” “Yeah sure I’ll show you some stuff tomorrow” you both yawn “shit it’s 3 am” janis sighs “fuck” you chuckle sleepy “um I’m getting tired” janis says with a tired laugh “me too” you say starting to close your eyes “good night (y/n)” “good night Janis” you say with a yawn falling asleep as she hangs up

Monday 5:30am

“Pst…(y/n)? You gotta wake up” your cousin said lightly shaking you “ugh five more minutes” you mumbled “no come on up you gotta get ready” she insisted, you got up against your body begging to go back to sleep “good morning sleepy head” Cady said with an enthusiastic smile “cads what time is it?” “5:33” “doesn’t school start at like 8:30?” “No it starts at 8 and I wanted to make sure you had enough time to get ready and have breakfast, breakfast is very important” “uh huh…mm thanks cads” you say with a yawn deciding to get up and look through your clothes “meet me in my room when you’re done getting dressed, ok?” Cady said “um ok?” You said grabbing your favorite jeans and shirt then going to look for your jacket as your cousin left

(Monday 5:40 am) fruit loops

Gretchen🌷: good morning everyone soooo so sorry for not texting yesterday I went to bed early

Regina👛: it’s ok Gretch don’t worry about it

Regina👛: also damn I think Janis and (y/n) our new insomniac duo

(Y/N): unfortunately yes I’m so fucking tired also good morning Gretchen

Aaron🧍‍♂️: why are you guys up so early it’s not even six yet? I literally woke up because of all the buzzing

(Y/N): cads woke me up :(

Regina👛: my skincare and makeup routine take like and hour

Gretchen🌷: I like mornings ☀️

You finished getting ready and headed over to Cady’s room like she asked you to. “What’s up cads?” “Eee (y/n) ok so first of all how are you feeling about your first day” “a little nervous and tired I only got like 2 and a half hours of sleep” “oh goodness (y/n) why didn’t you sleep sooner?”cady says concerned “Because I wasn’t tired?” You half joked. Cady hands you a paper. “That’s a map of the school the way Janis sees it she gave it to me on my first day I feel like it could be helpful for you” “oh um wow thanks cads” you say giving her a half hug. Your aunt knocks on Cady’s open door “hey girls good morning” “good morning mom” Cady says enthusiastically, you yawn “morning” you say with a small smile “I’ve got to head to work but I’m assuming you girls have a ride?” “Yeah Aaron’s gonna pick us up I think?” Cady answers “alright I love you two, be on your best behavior and call me or text me if you need me” your aunt says as she leaves “bye” you and Cady say at the same time. You head to the kitchen and pour yourself a bowl of cereal

(Monday 6:40am) fruit loops

Regina👛: my mom is doing a coffee run what does everyone want?

Damian🌟: iced coffee, oat milk, vanilla

Gretchen🌷: just the usual for me and Karen

Janis👾: iced coffee, oat milk, lavender

(Y/N): um (your coffee order) please

Cads🦁: can you just get me a tea?

Regina👛: yeah of course I’ll get your favorite

Aaron🧍‍♂️: regular coffee, cream and sugar please

Regina👛: ok also who’s picking up who today? I can get Karen and Gretchen as usual

Aaron🧍‍♂️: my mom said I don’t have car privileges this week so I can’t give anyone a ride

Damian🌟: I can get janis for sure but if anyone else needs a ride I can get them too

Cads🦁: can you give (Y/N) and I a ride please we’re ready whenever you are 👍

Damian🌟: yeah I’ll be over in 10 then we’ll go get Janis because I know she’s not ready yet

Janis👾: I would be offended but it’s true

Regina👛: alright meet at our usual spot?

Aaron🧍‍♂️: 👍

Damian🌟: sounds good see y’all soon

#janis ‘imi’ike #regina george #cady heron #gretchen wieners #damian hubbard #karen shetty #aaron samuels #mean girls 2024

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spitinsideme · 6 months

Note

( same lil freak again <3 )

as for the gushing about your art ( big long word list incoming ) here you are!

first off, pomni with her little sharp goblin hyena fangs. ooooohh mmmyy goddd it’s so cute and she’s like a feral lil freako and rabid animal vibes i love it so muuuuch dude it’s so cool and neat and amazing and cool!! pomni in general with your neat and uniquely smooth art style is so cute and wonderful 100000/10 rating would recommend

ragatha. oh my god i love her with the face build and hair and everything else. she’s so pretty and sorta intimidating and cool and so amazing!! both of the little loons in your art style are so cool and unique and pretty. pure eye candy and makes my soul happy keep going with the beautiful pictures and buttonblossom anarchy

and i’ve seen some of the zooble pieces and they’re also pure eye candy. so flexible and smooth and wonderful

thank you for letting me gush about your art and wonderful things, keep going with the buttonblossom ragapom stuffs it’s amazing and it makes me verrry happy every time i see it ( and i know other people outta feel the same )

hope yous doin okay, and i’ll always be inspired by your works

SMOOTH ???? THATS LIKE THE LAST COMPLIMENT I THOUGHT MY ART WOULD RECEIVE THAT SHIT IS SKETCHY AS FUCK LIKE LITERALLY !!! BUT THANK YOU VERYVERY MUCH IM SOSOSGLAD YOU LIKE THE WAY I DRAW THE SILLY GAYS !!

pomni really is jist a feral freak shes just a silly little lesbian with fangs that are absolutely adorable and amazing and god i lovedrawing her fangs im glad you enjoy seeing them !!

ANR RAGATHA YES ME TOO !!! I LOVE HER TOO !! i think ragatha looks amaizng with rvery art style possible butni love drawing her with likr ... a thicker mom bod and shes jusy southern to me like i cant explain it but she feels so southern to me lime she had a southern accent to me ... i cannot tell you why i think this i just do ... but i am sososos happy that you like them !!

ALSO FOR ZOOBLE IM HAPPY YOU LIKE ZOOBLE !!! zooble is really easy to draw because they are so shaoes but like .. flexible shapes so it just is simple and fun and god they look so fucking cool i love zooble theyre so badass ajd there isnt enough zooble fanart in this world i think there should be more and i will make more

i will definitely keep going with the ragapom stuff !!! as long as there is even one person who enjoys me making it i will make it, i live and draw to see people happy, the fact that it makes me happy too is my own little bonus !! im glad i can inspire you and i will comtinue to do my silly drawings ajd i uope they continue to make you happy for a very long time, thank you for telling me this ❤️

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elvenbeard · 1 year

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Long rambly headcanon post about Kerry's sexuality incoming (because I have been thinking about this ever since I first met him in game and I wanna write it down somehwere).

Disclaimer: this is my personal headcanon. You don't have to agree with any of this, this is for fun and games. If you do happen to agree with this though hmu bc I need someone to talk Kerry with desperately xDD

So, first of all: I think Kerry himself doesn't give a fuck about labels. Too old for this shit, confident in his own sexuality, what difference does it make? Labels are great for those who need them, he's not against them at all, but I don't think it's something that's he's thinking about a lot. Is he gonna put on a rainbow shirt for Pride? Yeah why not, especially if his partner would like to go protest and celebrate togther. But I think it's not a top priority of his (at least not anymore, in 2077, at the ripe old age of 89. A young Kerry living in our times was probably louder and a lot more outspoken, but in this post I'm gonna talk about my thoughts on grandpa Kerry).

So, let's dive into the game. When the topic of Louise came up during my first playthrough (the first and only time sadly, I'd love to know more about her as a character - more headcanons incoming in a minute), internally I went like... what? Where does this come from? Not in a judgemental way, just honest surprise, because up until this point, Kerry had only been depicted as attracted to guys (making the saddest puppy eyes at Johnny, making out with a fan backstage, Johnny's various comments on him, their sexual-tension-filled relationship with each other). Beyond that, what we know from Kerry himself, he seemed to have tried to get something going with Ariel (who I think is a man - correct me if I'm wrong, it's been a while since I played the actual conversation between him and Johnny at the villa and I'm not sure if he mentions Ariel's gender there). In the Temperance ending, if V was in a relationship with Kerry, Kerry will recount his other shitty exes of which at least one was also a man, and in the Sun ending, when his (male) manager calls, V can ask if that is "an ex of [his]".

That being said... yeah, Kerry flirts with V regardless of gender. Why? Maybe he doesn't know that himself, maybe he thinks V is cute, maybe it's a power play, maybe he just wants to annoy Johnny who cannot escape the situation, who knows, anything goes. His whole rockstar persona is this carefree, laidback sexgod thing, of course he's gonna be flirty. He is flirty with the Us Cracks girls, too (at least I'm getting the impression - they definitely are flirty with him and he doesn't mind, but it could also all be part of the show). So me personally, yeah, I think Kerry is bisexual, but with a strong preference for guys (sincerely, me, a bisexual who also has a preference for guys). Maybe Louise was his bisexual awakening, or a once-in-a-lifetime thing that never happened again with any other woman, or a mix of both. See also: Kerry turns a female-presenting V down when things get serious. Flirting is fun, she is nice and kind and into it, so why the hell not? But he's not gonna lead her on when he notices she wants more than what he's willing to give. Friends can flirt with each other without it turning romantic or sexual. And yeah, I think Kerry is generally attracted to people regardless of what's in their pants, but as soon as things get serious he is infinitely more likely to go for a guy than for a woman.

That being said (and now we're back at Louise), I think it's absolutely fair to headcanon him as gay, too. There is so little we know about the nature of his only (canonically depicted, spelled-out "that's my ex-wife" style) long-term relationship with a woman. This is the dark future, where you can genetically engineer your child to look however you want it to look. Maybe Kerry and Louise were just two sad and lonely individuals that were like "let's raise kids together to fill the void in our hearts!" - and, using Kerry's words, that went as well as you'd expect it. Could be that Louise is a lesbian who wanted a family and kids, and Kerry, being a close friend of hers, said yeah let's do it (and maybe I won't be so fucking lonely anymore and find a new purpose in being a father)! And for reason xyz it was easier to raise the kids if they were also married (something something about getting married to be allowed to have kids - I etiher heard or read something in game once about a 1-child-license or something, again, dark future fuckery could be involved here). Also, historically, there are certainly countless examples of queer men marrying queer women to get their conservative families off their backs. With how little we know about Louise, not even how old she was when they got together, it could also be something like that. And (turning back now to Kerry's flirty behaviour around women when someone else is watching) everything else could have been part of the show - for families, for the media, for the public, for the fans, everything goes.

What I'm trying to say, there's hundreds of ways to headcanon a fictional character's sexuality. Maybe Louise and Kerry were friends with benefits, maybe they fell madly in love, maybe there's more women in Kerry's past than what the game depicts (there's countless women's clothing items across his villa - that could be anything from leftovers of wild parties in which he wasn't involved to him taking home groupies and everything beyond that and inbetween).

You could also just say "Kerry is gay cause I say so, that's as deep as it gets" and that is just as valid. Don't be like me and spend your sleepless nights thinking about this because my brain works in mysterious ways. If you wanna headcanon him as gay because it brings you comfort, wholeheartedly, go for it. If you wanna heacanon him as not turning down your female V because it brings you comfort, go for it, by all means! If you wanna headcanon him as cis, trans, everything inbetween, hell yes, be my guest!!

Kerry is a fictional character, he's not gonna be offended or hurt. And every real person who gets upset about how someone else likes to play with their favourite pixel ken doll then, well... touch some grass @ that person. Headcanons do not take away representation from marginalized groups. Block and blacklist what you don't wanna see and move on, it's so easy (and on that note, anyone who wants to be weird or hateful on this post is gonna get blocked, too xD).

As I said, this is all my thoughts and opinions, if you don't agree, that's fair, I get it, I don't agree with 80% of headcanons I come across (not even just regarding a characters sexuality, but in general). But yeh I'd also love to talk if you have similar views on him!

On that note... happy pride xD🏳️‍🌈 be kind to each other!

#cyberpunk 2077 #kerry eurodyne #cyberpunk headcanons #kerry eurodyne x v #totally not spurred on to write this by this by seeing people mentioning being scared of sharing headcanons #my headcanons #otp: to bad decisions #damn now I want to make a hc post about Louise... and I still wanna make one about Kerry's cyberware #akldsöfjdasfkjasfh silly pixel people taking over my life AGAIN

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he-is-lightning-in-a-bottle · 6 months

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2023 Year in Review

In celebration of the coming New Year, I decided to do a re-watch of every drama I gave 3 or more stars in 2023. Only 15 made the cut, which given the number of dramas I watched (I started well over 200, although I dropped at least a third of those) is not that many.

(My rating system is pretty simple: 1 ⭐ = terrible/don't recommend/waste of time, 2 ⭐⭐ = pretty good/enjoyable/would recommend to others but probably never re-watch, 3 ⭐⭐⭐ = good/likely to re-watch, 4 ⭐⭐⭐⭐ = practically perfect/would re-watch frequently. As you can see, it's more about what I personally enjoy than what's objectively great. So some objectively good shows aren't on this list, like La Pluie or Wedding Plan or Our Dating Sim or Doctor Cha or King the Land or Call it Love, because they got a lower score from me because I'm not that likely to ever re-watch them even though I'm glad I watched them and I'll happily recommend them to others. Of course, my ratings are subject to change over time too because I often surprise myself with what I re-watch. Some shows that I originally gave 2.5 stars have eeked out 3.5 stars over the following year or two just because they grew on me and I kept re-watching them.)

As such, my plan to ring in the New Year is to re-watch:

Lost/Human Disqualification - ⭐⭐⭐/⭐ - (IQIYI/Amazon Prime, kdrama, slice of life, healing journey, slight romance, a 42yo woman pushed to the breaking point by life crosses paths with a 27yo man who is mourning the loss of his friend, outstanding dialog, killer A+ acting, tw: infidelity, miscarriage, and suicide BUT DON'T LET THAT SCARE YOU AWAY)

Hit The Spot ⭐⭐⭐ (Viki, kdrama, romcom, 2 women begin hosting a sex advice podcast, funny, sex positive education, extraordinarily relatable, high heat, 8 30min eps)

The Glory ⭐⭐⭐/⭐ (Netflix, kdrama, 36yo woman patiently takes revenge on her childhood bullies, slight romance, incredible dialog, A+ acting, excellent pacing and powerful reveals, tw: the highschool bullies are evil little sociopaths who do some extremely horrific shit)

The Eighth Sense ⭐⭐⭐/⭐ (Viki, gay romance, kdrama, incoming freshman who is a rural-transplant to Seoul meets exiting senior and joins his surf club, gorgeous production, healing past trauma, A+ acting and insanely believable physical chemistry, good OST)

Love Tractor ⭐⭐⭐ (IQIYI, gay, short kbl, big city law student with musical ambitions hides from his responsibilities in the countryside and meets a younger himbo farmer with a heart of gold)

Sing My Crush ⭐⭐⭐/⭐ (IQIYI, kBL, a talented but heartbroken young man is about to give up on his musical dreams when he is adopted by an eager wannabe manager, best friends to lovers, cohabitation, pining, good plot and chemistry)

Moonlight Chicken ⭐⭐⭐⭐ (YouTube, Thai, gay romance + BL, one night stand between a struggling chicken diner owner and a recently promoted office worker turns into more, HS student and lonely deaf boy become the cutest couple to ever cute, A+ writing and acting, themes of: found family, making a home, love matters even when it doesn't end well, class inequality, queer generational divides, letting go of the past, a radically compassionate look at first love, last love, lost love, and unrequited love)

Bed Friend ⭐⭐⭐ (IQIYI, Thai, gay office romance, enemies to FWB to lovers, healing past trauma done right, ridiculously pretty leads, consent kings, high heat, A+ lead chemistry and acting, soft landing in the final 2 eps, tw: sexual assault)

My School President ⭐⭐⭐/⭐ (Viki, Thai, BL, high school boys singing their feelings [well!], wholesome, gentle, sweet and funny, A+ production values, peak low-heat BL with well-executed tropes)

Be My Favorite ⭐⭐⭐ (Youtube, Thai, BL, repressed and fearful boy travels back in time to his college days to woo his crush and falls in love with his supposed rival instead, themes: living each moment to the fullest so you won't have regrets, kindness as a catalyst for character growth and positive change, bravery in the face of uncertainty, telling people you love them can only be a good thing)

Laws of Attraction ⭐⭐⭐ (IQIYI, Thai, gay, mystery/romance lakorn, evil unhinged babygirl lawyer and the heroic idealistic taekwondo instructor who falls for him work together to solve the mystery of his niece's death, loveable granny, A+ lesbians, happy endings all around, great acting and lead chemistry)

Jack O'Frost ⭐⭐⭐ (Viki, Japan, gay, amnesiac young man and his co-habitating ex begin their relationship again, short 6 ep, A+ acting, excellent production values)

Hold my Hand at Twilight ⭐⭐⭐ (Viki, jdrama, twenty-something city mouse meets country mouse and they begin the journey towards making their dreams come true, cohabitation, warm-hearted, angsty 3rd act, A+ acting, excellent banter, post-credit epilogue)

Kiseki: Dear to Me ⭐⭐⭐ (Viki, Taiwan, gay, hardworking med student falls for the gang member he secretly treats, insane plot includes time skip and amnesia [2 tropes I usually hate, but actually done well in this case and not annoying], domesticity, cohabitation, hurt/comfort, friends to lovers, short total runtime)

Fake It Till You Make It ⭐⭐⭐/⭐ (Viki, China, romance, 🔥 lead chemistry, snappy banter, disarmingly honest and vulnerable leads, this couple wants to eat each other for dinner AND dessert but constantly chooses not to because of other life priorities and fears, friends with killer UST to lovers who communicate shockingly well, all the characters feel like real people instead of caricatures)

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urlocalnonbinarybastardwrites · 8 days

Note

Hellooo! I literally refresh ur blog RELIGIOUSLY for content, lmao. Would love it if you could do a fandom ship for me

My Appearance

I’m a 5’7 dude with fluffy dark brown hair, but I dyed it strawberry blonde a little while ago- you can tell I’m a brunette since my roots have started showing again. My eyes are also dark brown, and I have a light tannish skin tone with a couple of moles here and there (I’m POC, for better reference) My favorite color is blue, so I’m always wearing different shades of it (navy, cerulean, baby blue, sky blue etc.) and my style is kinda e-boy/soft grunge

My Personality

I like to think that I’m a pretty chill guy. I mostly spend my time playing video games (Minecraft, Pokémon, Genshin and honkai star rail) and minding my own business. my grades are average since I’m too lazy to really study. I’m autistic and extremely socially anxious, so I tend to be non-verbal out in public and I never willingly go outside. That being said, I have a lot of online friends who I love chatting with, and I sorta have dark humor (NOT sexism or racism, I mean dark humor as in joking abt my mental health - which is shit, lmao). I’m also lowkey a nerd, so I love analyzing video game lore and making theories cuz Matpat lowkey raised me.

My Hobbies

As I mentioned previously, I’m obsessed with video games. However, I also like comic books and listening to music while I draw! I’m not a professional artist or anything, but I like to sketch and doodle my fav characters when I can. Idek if this counts as a hobby, but I also collect whatever coins, beer caps, paper clips or any general trinket I can find. One time I found this really tiny tennis racket on the floor at school (it’s plastic and barely the size of my thumb) and I’ve kept it in my purse ever since. Yes, I have a purse- they’re cute as hell

Uhhh, I think that’s it! Pls do the Outsiders or Slaughter fandom!! Ty

IM DOING BOTH BECUASE YOU COMPLIMENYED MEEEEEEE!!!! Ignore my spelling im gay ok

MATPAT RAISED ME TOO LETS BE FRIENDS ANON

Now to the ships:

The Outsiders: Ponyboy Curtis

Explanation: BCUZ I SAID SO/j You and Ponyboy both have special obsessions that you bond over. I think he really likes your style, the way you look, and how especially it contrasts to him. (He’s totally not jealous, yk what they say if you can’t be them be with them) You’re the most interesting person he’s met in the relatively boring town of Tulsa Oklahoma, and he thinks your style is tuff as hell. He would love watching Film Theory with you and doing his own mini analysis, and I think your less social personality would fit with him just perfectly, and he would make sure to respect all of your boundaries. He loves draw with you and listen to music with you, and he loves that you collect things, which is convenient for him because he can’t buy you super expensive gifts due to his low income household, but he can find you cool little knickknacks and such! He wears blue to match you a lot. Yall just chill and vibe together and we love it Yall are cute I ship it 💚

————————————————————

Texas Chainsaw Massacre:

Nubbins Sawyer

Explanation: I think you and Nubs are an amazing fit together!!! You both have artistic souls….. in much different ways and he has a purse just like you and also likes collecting little things and I think if he ever found anything cool while scavenging for roadkill he’d totally give it to you and you’d probably just have to be like Nubs… I don’t want a dead rat tail…. 💀 But anyway yall are so cute together, I think his more giddy/insane personality is a great constrast to your more shy/chill seeming one. He’s used to being judged for the way he is so I think he would understand you in a lot of ways- not to mention he LOVES your humor, because he has a pretty wacky dark sense of humor himself, and he’s also used to being judged for that too. He would definitely take lotsa pictures of you and then show them to victims. (And ask if you’re attractive and if they say no they get tortured for hours) He loves listening to your rants about your obsessions and in return you have to listen to hours of him ranting about cool roadkill he found that day or how he made a new trap better for catching victims! He also really likes your style despite not being that aware of fashion in general- You both have a way of understanding eachother like to one else. Ayway I love you both I ship it even though Nubs is my pookie

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the-music-maniac · 1 year

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random rant incoming

Y'know, while I think the ship of Kazurei is absolutely adorable, I'm also perfectly happy with Kazuki and Rei being purely friends, cause tbh I love the idea of platonic love and unconventional families and two het men not being absolutely terrified of being conceived as gay with that no homo shit because they don't see it as an issue, and just raising a child together with a friend - we need more media representation of platonic love and unconventional families and they're so adorable and I love how the show depicts them already -

H O W E V E R

The homophobic people I've been seeing online going "oh thank god they're not gay, NOW I can watch it" or just refusing to watch it because they STILL think two totally platonic guy best friends raising a kid together is too "gay"???? It's pissing me off. Enough that I want to ship them even harder out of spite - draw a shit ton of Kazurei fanart and make their eyes bleed. I already liked this ship, it's fucking adorable, but my shipping was also 100% casual. Not ride or die. I would be perfectly happy with them as platonic best friends raising an adorable 4 year old. But damn is that petty side of me taking over now.

I understand if people are tired of media putting too much importance on romantic relationships and not enough on platonic, it's an exasperation I totally understand and definitely feel as well. And of course you don't need to watch media that you aren't interested in, and I 100% understand if people just straight up don't like Kazuki and Rei together as anything but platonic because they don't think it fits! All of that is so valid. But I think it's the entitlement in these specific comments that piss me off. The implication of there being too much lgbtq+ rep nowadays, of all of it being too loud, oh no I can't get away from it, oh no, must you turn every single character gay??? You can't see a single straight person on tv! We aren't able to ignore your existence anymore, oh the humanity!

I hate to break it to these dumbasses, but the internet has been shipping canonically platonic characters together since the beginning of the internet. The only difference is that they don't have any complaints about it if it's a platonic guy and girl friendship that’s being shipped romantically. It's just interesting how they only start finding an issue with romantic relationships overshadowing platonic ones when it's two people of the same gender. And the nature of these types of complaints piss me off because despite how much better lgbtq+ rep has gotten over the years, we are still so far from having enough rep in media. So many people have grown up with heteronormativity shoved so far down their throats (me included) that they didn't even realize what their sexuality was until adulthood! I can't even watch an insta reel of a guy and girl being best friends without the entire comments section talking about how they're secretly in love with each other! People look at me and their automatic reaction is always that I must only like the opposite gender, and if I happen to want to go on a date with a girl in public instead of a guy there will always that part of me that screams unsafe unsafe unsafe. And people can't even handle the existence of a cute little anime about two PLATONIC guy best friends raising a kid, or the existence of a fucking ship that isn't hurting anyone???? Give me a goddamned break

#damn i didn't mean to trauma dump on a kazurei post #i'm just kinda angry rn #and I've decided that i will do what i always do when i see homophobes on the internet getting angry at gay ships #i will ship it harder #and i will point at them and laugh #i hope they're hopping mad #i hope they're absolutely foaming at the mouth #i hope they're screaming at the sky at the injustice of our existence #i hope how loud we are keeps them awake at night #okay perhaps i'm more than just a little pissed #perhaps i shouldn't be over such a small thing #especially not over a cute fluffy ship i'm not even that serious about #but it's just the principle of the matter #how many times have i read this bullshit on the internet over and over and over #it's just about a ship #but is it really?#buddy daddies #kazurei #kazuki #rei #reikazu #miri buddy daddies #kazuki buddy daddies #rei buddy daddies #kazuki x rei #shipping rant #and also lgbtq+ media rep rant

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dirtreally · 4 months

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playing through every fuckinggg vvideo game with gay bitches in it to try and salvage the last 2 weeks of my break. effortpost incoming

potionomics:

kind of insane how high effort the presentation is. the past ten years have been leading up to a kind of cultural dominance of Matte 3D (spiderverse, borderlands, arcane, and every work trying to cop the vibe of any of these three things) so even though this is literally the thing that Matte 3D was supposed to be a break from it still feels refreshing to see an incredibly high effort well-arted-out Shiny 3D thing that splits the difference between "looks like anime" and "looks like a western thingy tryna be anime" really well. of course with shit like The Super Dope And Viral Digital Circus becoming skibidi level popular i can only assume that we're gonna get ten years of Shiny 3D coming up and the ouroboros devours its own tail but right now it still feels fresh in the moment

that being said mannnnnnnnnnn fuck all the stupid ass characters in this game. the writing in this game has the unenviable task of like. trying to sound Whoalsome (cuz it has to market itself that way) while being not as annoying as like when cartoons and games and shit do le quirky dialogue (cuz if you do that now people yell at you on twitter) and for the most part it succeeds but it kind of doesnt matter when every single fuckinggggggg social link conversation is about like your adventurer friend telling you how they feel imposter syndrome about being in a fantasy rpg guild before asking you Okay But Really Though How Can I Contribute To Woke Capitalism While Prompting Reform As A Budding Small Business Owner In Dragontown❓ Awful. you can be gay and have one of several epic girlfriends in this but even after all that they only talk about how they are choosing to work with small clients with their marketing firm (not a joke) fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuc kkkkkk. they dont even show up when you win the fucking potionomics tournament so who cares.

half the steam reviews are bitching about the day limit thing which is fucking insane to me. the game is extremely generous with your time and the day limit at least sets your ass on fire a little bit which is the only uncomplicated positive emotion thsi game gave me. you might fuck up the first 10-day cycle once or twice but if you can clear that you can do the whole game. i maxed out all the social links and ccleared everything and It Was Fine. also there's a really scary egyptian stereotype character.

summon night swordcraft story:

i played this shit because i saw hazel talk about it being surprisingly gay ina video then i play it and if you do the personality quiz at the start of the game good your summonable creature is just straight up a woman who wants to fuck you. so then i watch the hazel video again and she didnt even get or mention that character. crazy.

anyway the summonable woman thing is kind of fucking epic especially with how played straight it is b ut also really funny to think about. every single other character summons like a cute stage 1 digimon type creature to help them out in battle and the creatures all fuck off when they're not fighting but your thing is a human woman with her tits out who just walks around with you all the time who wants you to fuck her (ESPECIALLY IF YOURE A WOMAN!!!!!!) all the time. i want to imagine that all the other ccharacters are like either incredibly mad or uncomfortable about this but just choose not to say anything about it.

i played this shit on a gba emulator on my phone while chilling on my bed and straight up if i got a steam deck and could play video games on my bed or while lying down it would bef ucking over for me. i would never get up. i think at this point its kind of essential for me that video games require the suck ass task of sitting on an ikea chair to be able to be played. either way its incredibly mechanically and textually light so its kind of perefect to be played while dicking around On Da Phone. the story is extremely standard jrpg but it is a little sweet that for the protagonist, becoming stronger is directly conflated with becoming kinder to other people and learning more about her world. again not the craziest thing in the world but its sweet

apparently da sequel is also gay but i kind of cannot be bothered to wwant to play it because the protag isn't as sauced up as this fucking girl. complete perfect harmony of artstyle and character design and the gba making all the art crunchy

ITS FUCKING PRATTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i usually do the thing of naming every rpg protag with my name whenever i play these things b ut this bitch has so much personality just thru her portrait and vibes alone that i stuck w the default name. idk i am extremely charmed by her shapes

crymachina

this shit looks soooo fucking good what the fuckkkkkk. i posted before about how it looks like the renders they used to have on the boxes of graphics cards but it really is Like That. most of it is still filtered through the lens of extremely NIS-america/JAST japanese enthusiast B-game jank but still. the prerendered cutscenes in this are straight up my favourite part of the game they are straight up gorgeous. god tier anime girl 3d artism

the aesthetic and story are both kind of insane hi-concept sci-fi bullshit to the point where i kind of have to salute it no matter what just for swinging that hard and high. extremely weird pacing and it feels like it got truncated at some point and a bunch of the stuff that was meant to be in the game got put inside some of the stupid ass nier-weapon-story-type things this game has. for the record i hate when any video game does thiis cuz eevery single weapon story is like. okay i spent 10 minutes looking for it but there's a meme with a nier weapon story screen and its like

Weapon story 1:

Girl:I am having heart surgery

Boy: I know... I love you

Weapon story 2:

After surgery when the girl woke up, with only her father next to her

Weapon Story 3:

Girl: Where is he???

Weapon story 4:

Father: who do you think gave you the heart?????

it's completely fucking insane to me that people will make fun of fallout skeletons and skyrim journals and shit like that as if this isn't on the exact same level

anyway its pretty good and like. blatantly about being a gay bitch on e very thematic level its kind of crazy. really fun game to think about. i don't like one of the artistic decisions made regarding one of the late-game twists but whatever. The way you unlock the final ending is one of the most fun ways to do it ive ever seen and i was incredibly pleased when i figured it out. the gameplay in every other aspect is extremely perfunctory but the way you unlock the final ending is kidn of just incredibly pog-worthy in a way that you can't really feel if you just watch a video or read a description of it, especially if you figure it out yourself.

THATTTTTTTTTTT BEING SAIDDDDDDDDDDDDD i think the ending is just Fine. I think i have a built in brain immunity or something to like. specifically sci fi video games cuz i saw this had the same thing as nier automata where a lot of people were going on about Auuuuuuu Fuckkkk I Cried At The Endddd So Crazyyyy but when i hit the final end i was just like Hruh That's It??? and spent like 10 minutes making sure if that was the final final for realsies ending. idunno man.

but also overall i still really liked this game and i still think it is extremely bold for what it does so if youve read this far and have 60-ish dollars to throw around you should absolutely buy it at its stupid ass japanesegameonsteam price cuz i wanna see more crap in the Cry_____ vein (crymachina was made after crystar which like. shares loose Vibe Associations but as far as i can tell is otherwise completely unrelated) and just more games that make as many crazy ass aesthetic decisions as this one. either way im definitely gonna keep an eye on what furyu puts out after this

ok thats it. im gonna try mary skelter 2 now hopefully i dont die

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nova-lightz · 10 months

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Uh-oh! Opinion incoming!

I dunno what the fuck is up with some bl drama fans, but sex and romantic gestures are NOT required in order for all serious relationships to be successful irl, so why act like it's the end of the fucking world when a couple in a bl show doesn't kiss or have sex on-screen?

A fulfilling sense of companionship can (and is in some cases) be more than enough for a couple to be happy. Hating on bl shows with characters with this kind of dynamic because the relationship doesn't feel "convincing" or the characters don't look like they have "chemistry" feels homophobic, I'm not even gonna lie ☠️ (at this point I'm pretty sure "chemistry" is just a synonym for sexual activity by how the word gets used all the fucking time, similar to how the word "spice" is used in online spaces).

I will stay bitter at how much hate was thrown at the Cherry Magic drama and movie cause they never had any on-screen kissing or sex scenes. The story doesn't even revolve around sex for the most part! The point of Cherry Magic was to emphasize the importance of not immediately judging people for their surface-level behaviors, to demonstrate how emotional vulnerability + open-mindedness contribute to forming long-lasting bonds, and to show how trust and respecting boundaries is a two-way street.

Adachi losing his virginity in the movie wasn't even that big of a moment in the entirety of the movie. To clarify, the conversation that led up to Adachi losing his virginity was important because he and Kurosawa got to finally be emotionally vulnerable with each other after weeks of pretending everything was ok during their long-distance relationship, which was very important for Adachi's and Kurosawa's character development. After Adachi lost his magic though? The scene brushed by so quickly.

He lost his magic, got surprised, realized he was ready to move forward with his relationship with Kurosawa without using the magic as a crutch, and then continued living his life as an average 30-year-old man for the rest of the film (with the love of his life by his side, of course) AND THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT!!! COUPLES DON'T NEED TO KISS AND FUCK CONSTANTLY TO SHOW THAT THEY'RE IN LOVE IN MEDIA!!! IF A FICTIONAL COUPLE DOES KISS AND FUCK A LOT, THAT'S OK TOO!!!

Would I have liked to see Adachi and Kurosawa kiss? Sure! I'm a gay man, I like gay men kissing lol. Is it worth throwing a fucking fit over the two guys only having meals together, holding hands, hugging each other tightly, and nuzzling their faces in the crooks of each others' necks? NO!!! IN FACT, WITNESSING THOSE GESTURES MAKES ME HAPPY!!! IT'S CUTE AND STILL VERY GAY!!!

It's not bad for bl dramas to show romantic and sexual intimacy—I think it's great that a lot of shows do have those aspects to them—but it's not fucking cool to shit on bl shows that don't have those kinds of scenes. Both can and should coexist. There is no correct way for a couple's dynamic to function and it's stupid to act like there is one. There are plenty of ways for people, in general, to show that they love and care about each other.

Fuck, man. Just don't judge gays for how they gay.

#nova text #onions #fuck this shit im gonna watch more kamen rider amazons #if i get death threats for this ill giggle cause thats loser bavior #cherry magic

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retrokid616 · 5 months

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cute gays shit incoming imoda fans

#cr spoilers #bells hells #campaign 3 #critical role #live blogging #imogen x laudna #imogen temult #laudna #imodna

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jarchaeology · 2 years

Note

Hi! Okay, i have just discovered your blog in the middle of a night...and..i mean...how..what...i am having a FUCKING blast! Even tho i can't pin my exact emotions: am i horny, sad, confused, shocked, hysterically laughing, having a fashion crisis, cringed all the way, crying because i can't even imagine the amount of shit young fruity jackles was thru because of his looks? Anyway this is super entertaining and it feels like a whole new universe i can explore. Thank you for your amazing skills and time that you are devoting to this, its A-mazing! I kinda want to be friends with you now.. I am also super interested on how did you started to collect this things, what was the motivation to dig, i understood that you are an avid explorer, i totally get that, its awesome, i mean why young era Jensen, what's the appeal for you in these things? I am just super curious, if you don't mind answering, ofcourse 💜 Sending you THE biggest hugs and 1 billion points to your karma for bringing us froofy jackles gifts ✨️

i'm sorry this took me forever! this was so sweet and i had to wait for the time to properly respond. thank you for the kind words. and your patience. 🥰

ok and on to your questions about why this blog and why this subject. someone on the dash asked for young jensen pictures and i decided to give it a shot. i sent what i found over anon. i was good at it, so i kept going.

i am, admittedly, the daughter of an amazing amateur sleuth. my mom is a badass. people think i'm lying when i tell stories about her. she has a personal letter from a US president thanking her for one of her valiant finds. one time, i told her that there was a cute customer at work. all i said was that his name was matt, he was gay, and he lived in the bay area. there are almost 8 million people in the bay area, but she found him within a day. he wasn't even on facebook.

so i've got that going for me. and also, life was really really fucking stressful for me at the time. i needed the distraction.

the narrow timeframe came later. i've said it before, but the people behind soaps weren't selling tv, they were selling a miniature hollywood that they created. a microcosm of celebrity culture that could fill the pages of multiple issues of soap opera magazines every single week.

stars were contractually obligated to attend events and these events were a major portion of the actors' income. if a character did well, the networks rewarded the actors with more appearance opportunities. the show was filmed with lightning speed, and the rest of the week was for interviews and photoshoots and personal appearances. they sold cookbooks and board games and award shows and cds and dolls and cruises.

i saw all of this, and really latched on. it was a puzzle that i could put together. data points were available, and i knew i could find more. it got to the point where anything outside of the soap opera years just really wasn't interesting to me. but also, young jensen was very pretty. so that helped.

#longest answer ever

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absolutebl · 11 months

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This Week in BL - Dog Days of BL but July is Incoming

June 2023 Wk 4

Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs. Organized by which ones (in each category) I’m enjoying most.

Ongoing Series - Thai

Step By Step (Tues WeTV & Gaga) ep 10 of 12 - I’m finding the time frames confusing. Still, a lovely crying kiss + a very high drama-lllama gay confession. Kitchen counter make out, my fav! The actor who plays Jeng kisses at MaxTul levels, which is to say = like a man who has actually done it before with genuine desire and is capable of portraying that on screen. (What makes MaxTul kings is that they BOTH do this.) Pat caught up, thank goodness. Also P’Jeng!!!! P’JENG!!! I love how intimate phi is when it’s been all khun prior. This is the Thai version of hyung slinging. Errotic linguistics, my fav. And ALL the work drama and homophobia fall out when you sleep with the boss. I really enjoy that the angst concerning their relationship has to do with the fact that this is an office romance. Lastly? I love Chot so much. Everyone needs a gay auntie. Also Bruce is SO DAMN GOOD. (I mean we knew he would be from Lovely Writer, but this... chef’s kiss.)

La Pluie (Sat iQIYI) ep 10 of 12 - There are enough meta-analysis on this one for me not to have to weigh in. Suffice it to say that I like what it’s trying to do, and I certainly appreciate the levels of consent and so forth but I’m not sure I actually like it as much now that we are swimming in high concept. Too much lying. I’m not sure I want my BL to make me think this hard. Also poly, boys = final answer. (Anyone else getting Color Rush flashbacks?)

Be My Favorite (Fri YouTube) ep 6 of 12 - I love Max now and forever, and I made some very bad puns in the Trash watch here. Otherwise I’m not super invested.

Dinosaur Love (Thai Sun iQIYI) ep 1 of 10 eps - from Ultimate Troop (The Yearbook people) so I shouldn’t watch this as it airs, after Remember Me? I swore never again. But there’s so little on right now, I’m falling on the pulp sword... My initial thoughts? It’s an En of Love installment? What is going on? Why all this opening with the sides in a bar? Are we framing? Just move on to the 2 boys kissing! Don’t try to be clever, for fucks sake. Okay, good, the pulp has begun. I like soft wet-blanket Rak and his sad love life. I’m not wild about how aggressive Dino is plus insta-SINGING but I DO LIKE THAT HE’S OUT and knows what he wants which is refreshing. It’s trope filled nonsense (crash into me, instalove, sing feelings, floppy drunk, he’s in engineering, fast and bi-curious) also Dino used ter at first (how forward!) then he went to gu/mueng after rejection, while Rak uses khun & phi/pom. Love this for them. Despite my justified reservations with this production team imma stay watching. I need something on Sundays. *

Luminous Solution (Sat Gaga) ep 6fin - That’s it? Bullsheiit. No seriously. That’s my review. 3/10 I DON'T KNOW WHAT I JUST WATCHED AND NEITHER DOES IT AND I’M MAD ABOUT IT.

* I got to say, you have only yourselves to blame for Dinosaur Love’s ranking. Once upon a time, I lived happily in ignorance of the Thai film industry. And then you all kept asking me extremely intelligent questions about it. And because I am a nosy little shit, I had to figure out what was going on. And now a BL like this, which ordinarily I would just love unconditionally, is a really scary place for me, because I know too much about the production house. The evils of too much information are all true. Remain happily in ignorance, I advise you, especially where BL is concerned.

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Love Tractor (Korea Weds iQIYI) eps 7-8fin - Yechan is such a frank character it confuses all who meet him, also a truly terrible flirt. This is such a puppy/cat relationship. It was cute but it went too far into cringe for a KBL (for me). I don’t think Kdramas are good at farce (sorry), better if they stick with more subtle humor. It was a sweet ending tho, not too cheesy. Nice kiss for KBL but pretty rather than sexy. Full review below.

Tokyo in April is... AKA Shigatsu no Tokyo wa (Japan Thurs Gaga) ep 3 of 8 - Oh, it’s GREAT. Damn it. There is a lot of subtext and things not being said. This is going to be one of those shows where it’s endlessly frustrating that they don’t just talk to each other. The crying first time was gut-wrenching. Ren is complicated & scarred & closed off. Kazuma is earnest & empathetic & thinks he’s unworthy - so will take whatever crumbs are handed to him. They are both giving parts of themselves away in a desperate attempt to shape themselves to the expectations they have of each other. These 2 are gonna fuck each other up while they fuck and fuck with our hearts. Japan is giving us the Bed Friends that Thailand can never even imagine. There is absolutely no guarantee this will end happily (it’s from the Eternal Yesterday people) but it is guaranteed to be painful and beautiful along the way. Oh Japan, must you? I guess you must.

Stupid Genius (Vietnam Fri YouTube) ep 4 of 6 - I’m mostly confused by the catfishing & tarot side plots. But the mains sure act like bfs. To the point of our tiny jock idiot getting gay panicked by how much bfs they are. Surprise kiss! For everyone, it turns out. Yes I laughed. What? It was pat but also… FUNNY.

Tie The Knot (Pinoy YouTube) ep 3 of 8 - The main couple is adorable, but I’m not wild about the gay bashing blackmail side story. Still, it’s the best we’ve had from the Philippines in a while so I am keeping my fingers crossed.

Vian the series (Vietnam YouTube ) ep 9 of 12 - Seriously? Bah Vinh = chemistry with EVERYONE.

Naked Dinner AKA Zenra Meshi (Japan Fri Gaga) ep 12fin - So Souta just disappears off to Singapore and doesn’t say anything to his boyfriend about it? And then comes back with the perfect plan and life for both of them? Oh Japan, must you? Review below.

It’s airing but ...

House of Stars (Thai Mon iQIYI) 12 eps - I bounced at ep 3. Will binge if told it is worth it at end.

Stay (Pinoy YouTube) 7 eps - It’s mostly English & set in LA (shudder) so I’m not bothering.

Ever After (Pinoy YouTube) 12 eps - Spies reported that it's a real mess and not a hot one.

Stay With Me ... NO I WILL NOT! And you can’t make me.

In case you missed it

BL Express reviewed The Egoest. Oh boy am I never going to watch that.

One in a Hundred - Gaga dropped all 12 episodes (c.10 min ea) at once. This is a 2020 Chinese show. It’s not BL. And it has a laugh track. I watched the first & final eps and won’t bother with the rest. DNF

I finally watched the 2022 thing I should have.

To Sir, With Love - REVIEW

This is a true lakorn with scenery chewing performances from an ensemble cast focused on family obligation and past sins, especially from the mother characters. It is a Thai tellenovella + Gone With the Wind but gay. That said? I loved it: A glorious central brother relationship (the best, made me cry), het romances, class divide + gay *gasp* main romance, the camp of it all! It’s like it was invented by drag queens. Arranged marriage, rebellion, cut sleeves, dramatic death with curses and regrets, beautiful if inaccurate costumes, secrets unraveling, cover ups, sparkle murder, sex herbs, coils within coils including snakes and death by glitter (is anything gayer on this earth?). It’s a WILD ride. It’s not BL. It’s not a romance, it’s a family drama Thorn Birds style but it does end happy for our gay boys. Like Manner of Death I’m struggling to rate something on a BL scale when it patently isn’t a BL. I think I have to give it exactly what I gave that show, 7/10

I loved it, but not as a BL.

RECOMMENDED WITH RESERVATIONS (over its BLness)

Zenra Meshi - REVIEW

AKA Naked Dinner

I have to be honest, I didn’t really like much about this show. The central premise was too odd and the main character too clumsy & slow on the uptake. I like the food, but there have been food-set BLs before that failed to meet expectations. Too many of them. This one joined that throng. Good ending tho. 7/10

RECOMMENDED WITH RESERVATIONS

Love Tractor - REVIEW

Most of this country-set BL had me feral for the beautiful broken city boy and his hot young farmer. Hyung romance, puppy/cat pairing, open frankness meets jaded reserve, language play, water hose frolicking, only one bed, all my favorite tropes. This show was basically a light-weight Restart After Come Back Home and I’m not even slightly mad about that.

But (and you knew there was a “but” coming) something about the cringe of the final 2 eps and the impermanence of the ending (both of which highlight the fact that ultimately these 2 are I’ll-suited: too different & too far apart) left me with the feeling that they probably won’t last as a couple. However, in this case, rare for me, I forgive it this finale for my love of the rest.

I did dither a lot though, it’s not an 8 but not a 9 either. Better than Love Mate (8/10) not as good as The New Employee (9/10) but in the end I’m value adding up for the premise and the cast, giving it a 9/10.

RECOMMENDED

(Gotta say, because this is rare for me, that this had a great OST. Not the credit music but the refrain, Rainbow.)

Next Week Looks Like This:

July 2023 Supposedly...

7/3 Be Mine SuperStar (Thai Mon Viki) 12 eps - JaFirst whipping boy/spoiled prince, obsession, celebrity/mundane. Third-year film student Punn (Ja) gets an internship on the set of a drama. He’s come to learn, but "what lights his passion even more than the work" is leading man Achi, Thailand's sweetheart. Adapted from the novel “The Superstar and the Puppy on Set” (พี่พระเอกกับเด็กหมาในกอง) by Orpheus, cast includes Benjamin Brasier (2moons2), Bosston Suphadach (UWMA), Jo Kavinpat (War of Y), Kokliang (TharnType). Directed by David Bigander (Bite Me) which makes me nervous. Maybe he'll do better with an adaptation?

7/6 Minato's Laundromat Season 2 AKA Minato Shouji Coin Laundry Season 2 (Japan Thu ????) 12 eps - The story is a continuation of Minato & Shin's love story, and it picks up 10 years after the events of season 1 but the characters don't seemed to have grown at all. Very Japan of you, Japan.

7/7 Stay By My Side (Taiwan Fri Gaga) 10 eps - Gu Bu-Xia has the ability to hear ghosts, except when he is around his new roommate Jiang Chi. So he starts to find ways to approach Jiang Chi. But is it the ghosts or Jiang Chi’s charm?

7/8 Low Frequency (Thai Sat YouTube?) 8 eps - ghost boyfriend, celebrity/mundane - Mon's life as a spirit-seeing interior decorator is full of headaches. On good days, he helps settle problems for his relative, who is a star manager. But then he gets involved with the spirit of Thames, a famous young actor who is in a coma.

7/9 Hidden Agenda (Thai Sun GMMTV YouTube) 12 eps - JoonDunk are back. Zo, a college freshman whose never been in love, decides to change it by making the college’s star Nita as his gf. He approaches Joke, Nita’s ex, for dating advice. What he fails to realize is that Joke has had his eyes on him for a long time and uses this opportunity to approach Zo. TMS 2.0.

7/15 Laws of Attraction (Thai Sat ????) Stars the pair from To Sir With Love and with the same production team, cryptic description, but it seems to be Manner of Death esk.

7/19 Wedding Plan (Thai Wed YouTube & iQIYI) - It's Mame and she's coming for our GL. She's such a misogynist IMAGINE what we will get with a GL? It's going to be absolute carnage. To crane your neck as you drive by the car wreck or not... that is the question. Me? I'm wallowing in the guts.

7/20 Jun & Jun (Korea Thu Viki) - From 2022 (TutorYim rumored to cameo) this office romance features 2, yes 2! Bls. Seme looks aggressive, we in classic yaoi territory. There is an idol involved. Past failed flirts. I am very excited about this one.

2023 forthcoming BL master post (see comments, some are inaccurate, NOT KEPT UPDATED)

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

To Sir With Love

Best execution of the piggyback trope ever? I think so.

Fucking GENIUS piece of acting. Bruce we LOVE you!

All Step By Step

It was stupid funny, okay? (Stupid Genius)

Ridiculous man, you don’t have to eye fuck THAT hard. But we all appreciate it. (Vian)

Dangerous thing to say in a show about identity in relationships.

Brave boy.

I said this show was deep, not that I was. Although Patts seems to be going there.

I’ll stop now.

All La Pluie.

(Last week.)

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sollucets · 2 years

Text

ocean eyes, v

previous parts

inversion

this chapter takes place mostly within “more than a promise”; it is upsetting, but not beyond the purview of original inversion, and doesn’t take any extra cws.

usual caveat for ocean eyes, named & described listener ocs: ivy (darlin, they/them) & aster (angel, she/they/he) & kieran (sweetheart, he/him) & hazel (baabe, they/them)

on ao3, or full chapter under the cut

They're in David's living room that Aster continues to insist is a home theater, watching the credits scroll of yet another period romance (this one had at least been gay, which is nice). Ivy's on their phone, idly checking through their text history, while a sweatpants-clad Aster kneels near the TV cabinets, pushing DVDs around with a plastic clatter that nearly drowns out their unintelligible grumbling. Sulky Aster is like a kid. It's kind of cute.

A nearby buzzing pulls Ivy's attention down to their phone, but there's no notifications. Head still in the cabinet, Aster says, "Is that mine?"

The other phone is on the couch, within arm's reach. "Yeah."

"Who is it?" Ivy pulls the device towards them, glancing at the incoming call from 'Jersey Devil'. "Milo."

💜

On the day of the E&E Games, Ivy goes over to David's house with Aster. It's not a Wednesday, but they'd asked outright, and Ivy had noticed with a small pang of something they can't name that it had been over a month since Aster had asked for anything.

Ivy isn't involved with David's security business and probably never will be; loose cannon status aside, they don't want to overcomplicate their already bad relationship with him by making it an employee one, and their odd jobs have been getting them by. If they'd like to, it's probably just an impulse to do something, to fight something. To be useful. There could be other ways.

There's no need for them to go, and they hadn't really wanted to, so they didn't. Sam will tell them the results anyway, since he'd changed his mind for Vincent's sake.

Aster had wanted to, though, talked about it excitedly for weeks despite their obvious disappointment that it's not allowed. Getting an unempowered person past that amount of wards alone would be halfway to impossible, never mind all the NDAs and stupid government shit they'd have to sign just to even think about going, informed or otherwise. Ivy thinks it's probably possible to have regular humans go to the Games, but the Department doesn't think it's worth it. Fuckers.

Ivy can't blame Aster for being a little sulky, kept home from the magic Olympics their mate and their entire Pack are going to, job or not. If for some reason hanging out with Ivy makes them feel better, so be it.

Sam is going to give them shit for agreeing so easily, though.

A nearby buzzing pulls Ivy's attention down to their phone, but there's no notifications. Head still in the cabinet, Aster says, "Is that mine?"

The other phone is on the couch, within arm's reach. "Yeah."

"Who is it?" Ivy pulls the device towards them, glancing at the incoming call from 'Jersey Devil'. "Milo."

Aster pulls their head out of the cabinet and turns fully around, holding out both hands with a sharp frown. Serious expressions like that look unnatural on them, like they haven't had a lot of practice and are just approximating what it's supposed to look like. "Give it here."

Tossing the phone to their friend, Ivy sits up, shoulders suddenly tense as the realization that Aster has obviously already had comes to them. They hadn't been there for the rehearsal or anything, but they remember the vague time frames of this job. Right now, when the medals are supposed to be getting handed out, isn't a time when any of the Pack should be calling Aster, of all people. There's still an hour or two left before they should even be getting done.

"Milo?" Aster asks into the receiver. Their tone is a little clipped.

Ivy can hear his voice, even without him on speaker, from across the room. They very immediately wish they couldn't.

"Aster, something went-- went wrong with the medal ceremony. I called Kier already, but there's--" It's a long pause, and fear shivers up Ivy's spine. Milo isn't hesitant, and he doesn't mince words. He's afraid. He doesn't want to be saying this. Something is really wrong. "The Ward... the Ward went up, while they were still in there, there's trouble. I'm gonna call Hazel after, and Kier's gonna meet you all so you can get onto the grounds. Okay?"

Aster swallows once, hard, mounting panic in the eyes that meet Ivy's from across the room. "What? I-- Ward? What do you mean? The... The barrier around the games? What happened? What kind of trouble? Why do you need me to come?"

Milo curses, very creatively. Someone is talking to him on the other line, but it's faint enough that it's just the barest crackle of a voice. "David put up the Ward, he -- Please, I'll -- I'll explain, I swear, you just gotta get here. They're all in there. You need to know."

"Then tell me!" snaps Aster. "Milo, what--"

Ivy crosses the floor in two seconds flat and takes the phone out of their hand. Something freezing is settling at the base of their spine. "Something's in there with them? In the Ward?"

"Ivy?" says Milo, and now that they're not listening to his little tinny phone voice from feet away, it's even more obvious that he is worse off than Ivy has ever heard him. His voice sounds threadbare. Ivy has heard him in a hospital bed, at the bottom of a bottle, crying in his own apartment -- they have never heard him like this. "You're -- yeah. Yeah, you got it."

"What's in there?"

"Shades."

Ivy puts that away, takes that information and settles it into the ice creeping up their ribs. They don't know much about that kind of thing, honestly, but nothing about what they do know is promising or makes sense. All they can hear is the sheer defeat in Milo's voice, the terror bracketing what he isn't saying. Aster is right there at their side now, one shaking hand on their arm and eyes huge.

Milo is calling Aster because their mate is in danger. There's no other reason he would.

Ivy swallows hard against the thought of steady, reliable David hurt somewhere they can't even reach. They can help with this, here; they need to focus. "Fuck. Okay. We'll come. Milo, are you safe?"

There's a pause. "I-- yeah. I'm safe. Everyone else was inside the Ward, all the spectators and the rest of the Pack except, but I -- I didn't -- I'm safe."

The spectators. Ivy's face must do something awful, because Aster's hand seizes on their forearm. They barely feel it. All the spectators. Sam.

Ivy shuts their eyes hard enough to see stars and ignores the useless howling impulse to shift, to run all the way to the Arena and tear something apart. They push it down until it's all the way under the ice. There's a panicking human clinging to their arm. The rest of the Pack is in danger too. They have responsibilities now, they can't just run off.

Milo, sounding haunted as someone starts talking on his end again, tells them Kieran's arrival time and hangs up abruptly.

Aster hasn't spoken since Ivy's initial interruption. They look even paler than usual, freckles a harsh contrast against the horrified white their face has gone. They don't protest when Ivy pulls them off the ground as gently as possible, and they follow easily enough to the front door, stopping only to snatch Aster's wallet and keys off the dining room table, movements jerky.

Ivy thinks about asking if they're okay. It's probably a stupid question, and words seem like they'd be too hard to get out past the ice. Instead, they pretend that letting Aster cling to their arm on the way out is for their friend's sake.

Kieran won't be there for another few minutes. They didn't need to run out so quickly.

Aster, still holding tight to Ivy's arm, steps close enough that it's nearly a hug. "Did he tell you what happened?" they ask, voice the barest rasp of sound.

"Sort of," Ivy replies, far too slowly. They don't want to say. They understand why Milo couldn't. The thought of trying to explain a monster Ivy only knew from childhood fairy tales was overwhelming. Shades sucked the life out of people, they knew that much. The stories said they took their souls. Probably it was something to do with the core, magical energy, some bullshit like that.

There are Shades inside the Ward. With David. With Asher, with Amanda, with the rest of the Pack. With Vincent and his partner. With Sam.

Ivy wonders about their souls.

They must take too long to answer, because Aster turns an indignant look on them, green eyes shining too-brightly in the fading evening light. "Tell me," they demand outright. "I'm not magic, I know, but I'm not stupid, and I need to know what's going on. What happened?"

They try this time. They really do. Aster deserves an explanation, even if it probably won't make them feel better, and they're supposed to be taking care of them until the others get here. They try. But the cold is blocking the words.

Aster's expression hardens the longer they don't speak. "You won't?" they ask, tone gone quiet again. "You won't tell me." Their eyes have gone flinty under the sheen of tears. "Aren't you supposed to have learned that hiding things doesn't protect anyone?"

Panic cracks the ice, just a little, and Ivy flinches. They don't think they moved that much, but the moment they do Aster jerks the hand on their forearm away, stepping back with an unreadable, pained expression.

"I--" Ivy starts to say, forcing it out, but a car pulls up in front of them before they can finish.

Kieran rolls the driver's side window down. The Stealth looks shockingly put-together given the situation, his handsome face a neutral mask, but Ivy can see the way his eyes are just slightly swollen. "Get in," he says, clipped. They do.

Ivy is in the front, Aster in the back next to a completely silent Hazel Ellis. It's only a moment before Aster asks, quietly, "Kieran? What do you know?"

"As much as Milo told any of us on the phone," Kieran replies. His tone is flat, completely unyielding. "Let's get the full explanation once we're there. I need to drive."

It isn't necessary to glance to the backseat to feel the weight of Aster's gaze on the back of their friend's head. Ivy doesn't know Kieran Ironwood well, past some awkward acknowledgements after their painful reconciliation with Milo and that night at the Solstice; they'd thought him to be a warm presence, if a mischievous one. Right now, he is none of those things, and Ivy suspects that he might be lying. After all, Milo had told them more than he'd told the others, and Kieran is his mate.

Bracing for a confrontation, Ivy flicks their eyes behind them, but whatever Aster was about to say is cut off by a muted sob. Hazel has dropped their head to hide their eyes, and their shoulders are shaking.

Ivy has never seen Ash's mate cry, has never seen them anything less than completely in control. Even drunk off their ass at 4am on the Solstice, they'd been composed, if flushed pink and slightly slurring their words. Seeing them turning their entire body into Aster's arms feels wrong.

No one speaks after that.

They pull up at the edges of the arena. Ivy's been here a few times; they'd snuck onto the field at night once, with Milo and a couple others, denying the cameras to play catch in a space thousands of times their size. The stands had been empty then, and they look empty now. There's no massive bubble, no shifting magic wall, nothing to indicate what's happened unless you know how many people should be visible, how many people are trapped in there. Unless you come close enough to sense it. Even Ivy, with their shitty grasp of any magic beyond their own, can feel its sheer power pressing down on their core the closer they get. It's almost suffocating. Something is clawing at the ice.

Ivy wonders what it must look like to the two humans in the back seat who can't even see the stands. An empty field? An abandoned building? Do their eyes just slide off? They don't know enough about this kind of thing, never got to go to school for it. They should have. They should know.

Kieran would know, but he isn't talking. His face is like stone, golden, catlike eyes sharp and unforgiving. He parks outside the arena and takes his Department ID out of a jacket pocket, then gets out without a word. Ivy follows, unsettled, and opens the backseat door on autopilot.

Aster tumbles out, pulling Hazel alongside them. The shorter human is still crying, but their sobs have stopped; it's just tears streaking down their reddened face now. Kieran turns to them, face still set. "You two need to hold onto me to get through the Wards," he says. "I'll extend my aura to cover you. Ivy, stay with us too, if you're coming."

If you're coming. It burns. The ice wants to melt a little; they can't let it. Milo might have forgiven them, Ivy thinks, but maybe Kieran hasn't after all, if he would think--

"I'm coming," they say, a little rough.

All Kieran does is nod. He grabs Aster and Hazel's hands and turns towards the building, his aura expanding enough that Ivy can feel it nudging against theirs in a way they never have before. He's a Stealth; they've never been close enough. It feels dark, like a storm about to break. No one stops them.

Ivy follows Kieran into a brick building attached to the arena fence. Their group is greeted by a stuttering, terrified-looking college-age guy named Lasko, who talks quietly to Aster as they wind through the hallways of what's obviously a security center. It's silent enough that their footsteps echo. Shouldn't people be yelling?

As soon as they find Milo, Kieran runs ahead of the group to crash into his mate, tucking Milo's slightly shorter frame into a crushing hug that turns into a kiss Ivy turns their head to look away from. Aster and Hazel are holding each other again, the shorter of the two tucked into Aster's taller frame, arm wrapped around their waist. Even standing like that, though, it's hard to tell which of them is holding the other up.

Milo stays in Kieran's arms as he starts explaining. He looks awful, hair curling even more wildly than usual like he's been running his hands through it, eyes red and posture stiff as a board in his mate's arms. Ivy pays attention as best as they can despite the ice.

"Every Pack member except me and Booker are in there." "...trapped in there with everyone else that was in the stadium at the ceremony." "...they refuse to drop the Ward." "...it's out of our hands." "...David left this behind when he ran in."

Nothing they can do. Nothing they can do. No one they can fight, Department people off limits and Shades out of reach. No responsibility now that the others are here, but nothing they can do. Claws on ice.

"Ivy. Ivy." Milo has a hand on their shoulder, gaze serious. They look up at him. "Ivy, I didn't know you were with them when I called, but I'm glad. I need Kier for a minute. Can you and Lasko stay with the others?"

They want to question why he's leaving, want to cling a little, but it's still hard to talk and he's giving them something to do again. "Yes," they manage, around a tongue that feels too heavy.

Aster has wrapped their shoulders in David's forgotten jacket and sunk down to the floor of the room to sit with Hazel, who is shaking but not crying, just staring into the distance with one of Aster's arms draped over them. It looks odd, Aster still in sweatpants and comfy clothes and Hazel in business casual, having clearly come from work.

It looks like having Hazel to take care of has helped Aster, too. Maybe Ivy should've tried crying? Maybe that would've made it better, back at the house. Maybe they just don't know how to take care of people in any way that doesn't involve claws.

They want Sam. He'd know what to do with this. He always knows what to do.

Ivy goes to lean against the wall by them. The least they can do is protect them. Maybe the Department will see sense and take the Ward down, and when they do, Ivy needs to keep these humans safe. That they can do.

Lasko sits down nervously in a plastic chair at the other side of the room, his hands fidgeting endlessly in his lap as he rocks very slightly back and forth. He looks miserable. Ivy doesn't know him, and he's not Pack, and even if he was, there's nothing they could do about it.

"All those people," Aster says into the silence, after ten minutes. "There were so many. More than a thousand. What will -- what will happen to them?"

Swallowing audibly, Lasko tries. "Y-your mate and the others are... are probably doing their b-best. They're not -- they're not defenseless in there. I'm sure -- I'm sure... We'll all g-get through this," he finishes weakly. Ivy sees him try to smile.

"That's the worst part, you know," Aster mumbles, words pressed against Hazel's brown hair. "That all those people are in danger, and I know he's just protecting them, and that -- that that's all I care about. That my mate's in there."

"Mine is, too," says Hazel in a voice unrecognizable for its tear-induced thickness.

Ivy's breath catches. The ice cracks again. "I--" they start, and all three other occupants of the room look over at them, three sets of shiny eyes. Their throat burns. He doesn't know yet. What if they can never tell him? Shouldn't someone know? "Mine too," they whisper.

"Oh, Ivy," says Aster so, so softly into the sudden, echoing silence of the room, their expression crumbling, and that's the last straw. The ice shatters, leaving only the claws and the screaming, and Ivy forgets their promise entirely.

💜

Aster has never seen Ivy's wolf form. They think of David's hunched shoulders, that first time he'd explained why he wouldn't shift. They think of his open, careful posture the first time they'd seen his wolf. In the end, despite their pushing, the moment with David had been special. He'd trusted them, and it had been a lovely night after.

This is not that. They are sitting against a cold, stone wall, one of their best friends tucked shivering into their side as they all wait in cold limbo to find out whether their partners are dead. And after that too-tender admission, Ivy, who hadn't spoken to them since they lashed out outside the house, stares at them with obvious, animal fear as their form begins to twist.

Ivy's shift looks almost painful. Aster can't quite keep track of each movement, they never can, but it doesn't look easy. When the whirlwind is over, in Ivy's place stands a hulking, jet-black wolf with those same midnight-ocean eyes.

They don't have long to look. The second the shift is over, Ivy turns on one paw and absolutely bolts out of the room.

Lurching, they very nearly try to go after them. It's a reflex; they can't catch a shifted wolf, and Ivy probably doesn't want them anywhere near anyway. But the way they'd looked just before had sunk fingers into Aster's heart and grabbed. On top of everything else they can't do anything about, this is too much. Everyone they love is hurt. Some of them are out of reach, in life-threatening danger, and the others are tearing apart because of it. They're tearing apart because of it. They'd regretted talking to Ivy like that the moment it came out of their mouth. Is that why the shifter had said that, about Sam? They thought they'd be hiding something if they didn't?

Hazel's arms tightening around them is their only indication that they're crying again. Their head aches from all the crying they've already done, and they're sure Hazel is no better.

"I-I'll-- I'll get you guys some water," Lasko mumbles, and they don't raise their head to acknowledge him. Bad enough that this perfectly kind stranger has already seen them all like this.

"Will Ivy be okay?" whispers Hazel when Lasko is out of the room, because they're actually the angel between the two of them.

Aster can only shake their head. "They'll... they'll have to be. I don't know. I'm sorry. I don't know."

They barely know anything. It burns how badly they were unprepared for this. Everything magical they've learned in the years since David had told them has been good, has been exciting and wonderful; the shittiest parts, like the Quinn situation, map well to things that could happen without magic. Abusive exes happen to everyone. But this? This is all magic, and it's all turning to ashes now. Everything gone wrong has been magic, magic they've never heard anything about, magic they can't even hope to have an effect on.

David's not even here to explain it to them. He always had been before, patient and honest as he always has been with them behind every insincere insult. Aster feels the fear in their heart curdling and hates it. They don't want to be afraid of magic, not after everything it's done for them. It's not fucking fair.

Hazel doesn't ask again. Aster turns their head into the leather of David's jacket, presses their nose into it to search for a familiar smell. David typically prefers to go with things without scents entirely where possible. Wolf noses, and all. His aftershave is one of the only things he uses that smells like anything, just a sort of plain laundry scent. The faintest trace of it is lingering, here, and Aster tries their best to focus on it.

It doesn't really help. It just makes them think of where its owner might be.

Out being a hero, they guess. His government's clearly not going to do it.

There's a faint noise nearby, and Aster lifts their head from Hazel's now-messy hair to see Lasko setting two clear plastic cups of water on the floor near them. He looks almost alarmed to have been caught, immediately breaking eye contact when they look up and retreating across the room.

"Thank you," Aster manages, and picks one up with the arm that isn't looped around their friend. "Hazel, honey?"

They look up again on hearing their name. They've taken off their glasses, the large circular frames off to the side, and their pale eyes struggle a little to focus on Aster despite how close they are.

"Drink something?"

Hazel nods slowly and takes the water. It's just another check on the list of awful things to see calm and collected Hazel a wreck like this. Sure, Aster has seen them upset before, but they've barely spoken at all, and they keep shaking. They wonder if it's shock.

Aster ends up having to help Hazel hold the cup to avoid spilling, careful, before they can take their own water.

All that careful work is ruined, though, when Lasko makes an alarmed noise and Aster spills their cup entirely across their lap, jerking up to see what scared him.

Ivy is lurking in the doorway, still in their wolf form. Aster has half a mind to scold Lasko; hadn't he seen them before?

Then again, if you're not used to seeing David, Ivy's wolf form is probably intimidating. They're huge, just about the same size as their alpha, and such a dark black that they look halfway to a nightmare. That is, if it wasn't obvious how upset they are. Their steps are light and careful, their ears flat back against their head and tail lowered as they approach Aster and Hazel.

Aster sets their mostly-empty cup down and holds out a hand that Ivy almost immediately noses into. It's cute, and Aster doesn't have the energy to pretend it's not right now. They're just hopelessly glad Ivy's back, in any skin they want to be in.

"You okay?" they ask the wolf.

Predictably, Ivy doesn't answer; even if they could, Aster's not sure they would have. It's a stupid question. None of them are. Aster moves their hand slowly, walking their fingers all the way up the line of Ivy's huge wolf muzzle to the top of their head. They don't want to startle them.

Hazel, still tucked into their side, doesn't look too alarmed either. Shifted Ivy towers over both of them, seated as they are; they're probably around four feet at the shoulder, and with their mouth hanging open just the tiniest bit Aster can see the points of their teeth. It shouldn't really be a normal sight, but Aster knows from experience that Ash runs around shifted all the time, even if his warm, mottled-brown coat and shorter height isn't quite the same level of intimidating as Ivy or David.

God, David. No, not -- not right now. Only good things. They sink their fingers into the rough fur between Ivy's ears, tangling there the way their mate likes, and the massive wolf goes completely pliant under their hand, sinking to the floor next to them with a soft huff of breath. Aster is so fond.

"Ivy, baby," Aster starts, aware immediately that they've let something slip but too wrung-out to care, "I'm -- I'm sorry, for earlier. I wanted you to tell me, but I know you weren't -- I don't think you were --"

Their rambling is cut off by a high, pained whine that has Hazel sitting straight up in Aster's hold. Ivy shoves their entire massive head into Aster's side, nose wedged awkwardly against their armpit, and makes the sound again, if a bit quieter.

"Baby?" asks Aster, scared now. They keep their hand moving gently through the wolf's fur, letting the weird-but-familiar texture ground them. It's another pain, yes, but one they can maybe do something about, unlike the ghosts hovering over all of their shoulders.

Ivy doesn't move; they just stay pressed against Aster, taking little snuffling breaths. Aster realizes, with a pang that shocks through their entire body, that Ivy is doing the same thing they themself had done earlier. The scent of David's jacket must be easier to pick up on for a wolf.

Aster squeezes their eyes shut. They'd been so sure they'd run out of tears. Ivy's weight is heavy to their right, and Hazel settles back in on their left, physical pressure that anchors them to the cold gray floor of this security building, and they focus there instead to the best of their ability. Their head is pounding despite the water.

Milo doesn't come back, and neither does Kieran. This is probably concerning, but they're probably just still fighting with that commissioner. Or maybe they're together, slumped against a wall just like this. At least Milo has his mate with him. Aster knows Milo just well enough to know how guilty he has to feel for being out here.

After a painful length of time, the weight on Aster's right lessens all at once in a rush of wind, and they glance over to see Ivy wavering back into place, clothes thankfully intact. They look defeated, eyes down, and they're clearly about to shuffle away from Aster's hold.

Before they can, Aster pulls them back, settling Ivy's smaller form against them. Ivy stiffens briefly but lets it happen, keeping most of their weight away, completely unlike they had just moments earlier as a wolf. Maybe it's easier when they can't speak.

"You know," says Ivy. Their uncharacteristically soft voice is perfectly, unnaturally steady. "You shouldn't apologize for things that aren't your fault. You were right, after all. You deserved to know. I was going to tell you, I just--" The t of 'just' is too sharp, practically spit out, and Ivy breathes out hard enough that they lean a bit further into Aster. "I couldn't-- I--"

"It's okay," Aster cuts in. "It's okay. Really."

"I can protect you," Ivy says, in the smallest of whispers. Their eyes dart across Aster to Hazel as they speak, worry and vulnerability, but they still say it. They are so bad for Aster's heart, all the time but especially like this, when it's already broken in anxiety-ridden pieces. "I swear I can. He asked me to. I'll stay here. I'm sorry I left."

Aster wants to apologize again; this is their fault. "Where did you go?"

"To the edge of the Ward," murmurs Ivy, looking down again. They curl their fingers in their lap, flexing the joints with a couple audible cracks and a soft exhale.

"Did it help?" This is Hazel, speaking just as quietly as the other two. Their tone is gentle despite it all.

"No."

Aster tightens their hold on Ivy's shoulders to an extent that's probably uncomfortable and takes a long, shuddery breath. "Stay, then."

"Okay," says Ivy, their voice audibly shaking. "Okay. A-are you alright if-- can I go back to being--"

"You want to shift again?"

"Yes, yeah." They sound relieved.

"Of course," says Aster, glancing sidelong at Hazel without expecting an objection. When they don't receive one, they add, "Whatever you need."

Ivy only lets out one little sob before the sound is whisked away in the whirlwind of transformation, the tiny edge of a whine petering out as the wolf re-emerges. This time, though, Ivy turns, shuffling awkwardly closer until Aster moves their arm to admit the wolf across their legs. With permission granted, Ivy flops a fair bit of their extremely dense body weight across Aster's lap, far enough that they can just barely press their muzzle to one of Hazel's thighs in silent apology.

Hazel reaches out one small hand and pats Ivy once, right behind their ear. It looks like acceptance.

The weight of Ivy's wolf form across their lap is really heavy; Aster's fairly certain their legs are going to fall asleep within ten minutes. It doesn't matter. The concrete of the wall is cold against their back, even through David's jacket and their own sweatshirt, and worse against their legs. Ivy, like most wolves, practically radiates heat. The weight isn't even bad; it's pressing them down again, proving they exist here. They're here, Ivy's here. Hazel's here. They're all in this room. Some of the people they love are here and safe, even if not all of them are, and that has to count for something. It has to count for something.

Aster curls their newly-free hand into the fur at the back of Ivy's neck and waits, afraid and unsure, for their mates to come home.

#redacted asmr #my fic tag #f: ocean eyes #my favorite thing about this chapter is gentle use of pronoun foreshadowing #my second favorite is 'jersey devil' lol

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