"It's-For-You!" Talking Telephone Toy
Ring... ring... ring... it's for you!
Transcripts below!
Eddie
[The phone rings once before it is picked up.]
Whether letter or parcel, whether rain, snow, or shine, we weather the weather and never decline! This is Eddie Dear of Eddie’s Post office speaking! How can I help you today?
[Silence.]
...Hello? Is anybody there? ...Should I say the jingle again? Okay-
[Eddie clears his throat.]
Whether letter or parcel, whether rain, snow, or shine, we weather the weather and never decline! This is Eddie Dear of Eddie’s Post office speaking! Do you need stamps? I got ‘em! Envelopes and paper? You bet! Markers, crayons, glue, glitter, tape, staples- [Takes a deep inhale to catch his breath.] I got that too!
[Silence.]
[Mumbling] ...I’m starting to think nobody’s there… Wait… I can’t remember if the phone was ringing… Maybe I was going to make a phone call... But who would I call? Well, if you’re there… Uh… Have a good day!
Barnaby
[The phone rings three times. Then it picks up.]
Hello? Hellooo?
[Silence.]
Is this a prank call, kid? Listen, I got a better joke for you- What did the bee say to the flower? I wouldn’t know, I wasn’t there! What do I look like, a BEE’s-dropper?
[Rimshot and horn honk. Barnaby laughs. Silence follows.]
….Not even a chuckle? Boy, tough crowd! Hey, you can’t blame a guy for phoning it in! How about you call me back when you got something funny to say too, little buddy! Buh bye!
Howdy
[The phone is answered in the middle of the first ring.]
You’re calling Howdy’s Place! The home of everything you need and everything you don't! Howdy Pillar at your service!
[Silence.]
...Hello? Hello! Listen, pal, time is jokes and if I’m not laughing then I don’t have time! ...Actually, I do have plenty of time in stock, it’s in aisle two next to the bananas. But …I call ‘em cuckoo clocks!
[Howdy laughs at his own joke, but it becomes softer and more embarrassed as the silence follows.]
...Alright, alright! You’re giving me nothing to work with, buddy! I only deal in funny business and it looks like you’re runnin’ low, pal! So long! You get it? Like a caterpillar! Haha!
Poppy
[The phone rings twice before it is abruptly picked up.]
Hello, this is the Partridge nest- Or I mean, this is Poppy!
[Silence.]
…Hello? Dear? Are you there? I can’t hear you if you’re speaking! Maybe it is my connection- Oh my feathers, a telephone is so difficult to work with- So many buttons!
[The sounds of shuffling, squawks and noises of tutting can be heard.]
Oh my goodness! I- Oh no, I’ve dropped the telephone on the ground I- Gracious me, there’s birdseed everywhere! I- I will call you back, whoever this is! Oh- My feathers are full at the moment! Don’t worry about me! Have a pleasant day deary-
[A panicked squawk is heard followed by a loud thud. The phone call abruptly ends.]
Frank
[The phone rings once before it’s answered.]
Hello, this is Frank Frankly speaking.
[Silence.]
...Hello? … Are you there?
[Silence.]
...Is this Julie? This had better not be another game you’re playing! …Oh no, is this a prank call? Is this Barnaby!? Well, I have a prank for you too, you jokester! A lesson!
[Frank clears his throat.]
Did you know butterflies have their own way of sleeping? It’s not so much sleeping as it is having a rest ! It is always done with their eyes open, too! They also like to rest under leaves as a means of protection from dew or rain drops! Better yet, to hide from larger creatures with an appetite! A bit like you and those horrible hot dogs you love so much.
[Silence. Frank huffs loudly in annoyance.]
Well, whoever this is, I’ll have you know I have better things to do than wait for you to respond! Good bye!
Sally
[The phone barely has a chance to ring once before it is picked up.]
Hellooo! You’re talking to the brightest and most stupendous superstar this side of the neighborhood! Sally Starlet!
[A triumphant 'ta-da!' jingle, followed by silence. Sally whispers her next sentence.]
…I said ‘Hellooo!’ That’s your cue!
[Silence.]
…What’s wrong, do you have stage fright? I know, I know, having a star for a neighbor can be so intimidating! She’s so terrific, you’re probably thinking! Phenomenal, staggering, breathtaking- I’m taking the words right out of your mouth, I bet!
[Silence. Sally sighs softly.]
Well, parting is such sweet sorrows, but I must shine my brilliance elsewhere! Why don’t you call me back when you don’t have such cold feet, hm? Farewell!
Julie
[The phone rings once, but in the middle of its second ring the phone is answered.]
Hello? [LOUDER] Hello!!
[Silence.]
...Hey, are you playing some kind of game? Well- I want to play too! Okay, let’s go on the count of three! One… Two… Three!
[Silence.]
…I don’t know how to play this game. ...Oh, I know what to do! We’ll make a new game! [Frantically spoken] We’ll need a jump rope, some chalk, a dice, a sandwich- I’ll call it… quiet sandwich jump rope! I better get everything ready, Frank’s going to love this game! Okay, bye bye!
Wally
[A long period of silence follows before three rings are heard. A pause follows even as the phone is answered before the sound of a heart beat can be heard below the ambient noise. This audio track constantly raises and lowers as it proceeds.]
Hello? Hello? Helloooo? … Ha Ha Ha...I’m only kidding. I know you’re there.
Did you like my joke? ...I think you were going to say... Yes! …Ha Ha Ha… You know… It is hard to hear you think through this funny phone of mine. It is as though you aren’t speaking at all. Maybe it is just a little fuzzy… Like me. Speaking of…
[The heart beat and ambience stop abruptly.]
...Do you know who I am?
[The heart beat and ambience resume.]
[Gasp.] Oh no. Well that’s not neighborly at all. We’ve never met before. But don’t worry. Even though you and I haven’t spoken before, I’ve seen you... Every time you have looked into my eyes. I want to know… What did you see?
[Silence.]
I hope you saw a friend, but I’m not sure you saw a name... Stand still. Let’s start over. Ring ring ring. Click. Hi, I’m Wally. I’m so happy to finally meet you, I think you’re the absolute most.
[Silence.]
Uh oh, I have to go now. Everyone is probably thinking about that strange phone call. It is funny to think about. …Ha ha ha… Don’t worry though, neighbor, it will be a little joke between you and me. You have to go too. You have work to do. Remember, until you hear me again, keep your smile merry and always know that I love you very much.
Good bye.
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Saw you mention a Sokka and Azula relationship some days back. Any elaboration?
@spacecuttle Sokka/Azula? I saw you say they could make each other worse.
well they share all the same flaws and complexes but are also scarily intelligent so they would just enable in each other in the worst possible ways if left to their own devices. like they could rule the world together but also feed into all their worst impulses to be condescending assholes who simultaneously negate their egos and consider themselves nonhuman vessels of obedience and sacrifice for their respective causes (both informed by the patriarchal logic they have internalized thru their fathers). they are so fucked up and insane, whether as rivals or as friends or even something more, because it’s like. well it’s the recognition of the self through the other but also they both refuse to look in the mirror (they both have their mother’s face btw) so it’s just this undefinable essence that exists within them both that they refuse to locate despite being so brilliant and observant otherwise, bc their biggest blind spots are themselves, but somehow they know the other like the back of their hand, except they don’t even know the backs of their hands. do you get what I’m saying no i think i sound insane. but they ARE insane. is the thing.
realistically i think postcanon they’d begrudgingly get along because azula genuinely respects sokka and sokka thinks she’s kind of funny and also just feels bad for her (again, he’s like “wow she’s so fucked up. glad I’m normal and nothing like her”) so he sort of just hangs out with her out of pity, but eventually does grow genuinely fond of her. adopts her as yet another little sister (which zuko thinks is crazy he’s just like “ummm you can have her”) and they play pai sho together and talk political theory and gossip about zuko and the gaang. azula tries to get into engineering and physics to help him with his research but realizes that she’s actually way more into politics and history than math and science (like she’s good at it, but it’s not as fun for her) so sokka starts giving her history books with slightly more accurate information in them so that they can actually have a conversation that isn’t just him attempting to dispel imperialist propaganda for two hours. and aang gets really into it too and they start a little book club where they read history and philosophy and go to archives and older libraries.
and they’re just vibing they’re just hanging out but everyone around them is afraid that one day zuko is going to do something so stupid that they’re just gonna snap and stage a coup d’état and take over the world. but thankfully they’re both so fucked up in the ego that even though they’re both constantly like “zuko is an idiot who should listen to all my advice” they never once consider actually deposing him. because their role is to serve not to rule. but no one else knows that they are loyal and humble before anything (because they’re also loud, condescending assholes) so everyone just lives in fear of them snapping. they don’t tho. but they could :)
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