#covid round 2 ... i guess ....

[famewolf]

weeping and crying because my mom bought us groceries while we're stuck inside with covid

#[static] #covid round 2 ... i guess .... #i still mask up at work and in public so im rather happy that i didnt bring it home #but i did get it from a fellow housemate ... which felt inevitable considering the circumstances #cant really ... constantly mask up inside my own house #though we had started masking when she found out she went to lunch with someone who had covid but alas it was too late for us #but my mom sent us money to get a buttload of groceries sent to the house which im super duper grateful for fgkjdf #i haaaaate accepting or asking for money but my mom knows this so if I'm ever sick she always sends me something without asking #which helped a bunch because i only had $100 until next Thursday fkdgjgk #now i can make soup today without worrying about how much a whole chicken costs #this is also why i work at a grocery store because all the stuff i just ordered would be much cheaper with my discount #its so hard to order groceries online when im like 'i could get this for $5 at work' lmao everything is soooo overpriced nowadays #but i quite literally cant walk into a store rn so orderin online was the only way to go

[chiriwritesstuff]

The New Girl in Tinseltown - Chapter 2 - Devil's Advocate

A Dieter Bravo x Actress! Reader PR Marriage AU

Previous Chapter │ Series Masterlist │ Next Chapter

Chapter Rating: E (18+, MDNI)

Chapter Summary: A look into Dieter's point of view at the night of our fated trip to Vegas. How does America's favorite Bad Boy™ end up married to America's New Sweetheart™?

Chapter Warnings and Tags: (Not So) meet cute, PR Relationships, what happens in Vegas ends up in the headlines, Dieter just does not give a FUCK, Smut, SO MUCH SMUT, a look at the inner workings of Tinseltown and the sleaziness it comes with, Dry Humping, A hell of a lot of dirty banter, is that yearning?, mentions of devious deeds by sleazy people in show business, our loverboy makes a 'Pride and Prejudice reference, SLOW BURN WE DONT KNOW IT, this is unhinged, no use of y/n, No beta we die like men!

Word Count: 8K (whoops!)

A/N: I know, I know, I KNOW. I promised the release of this chapter weeks ago, but I got struck by the not-covid-but-felt-like-covid virus and managed to get myself into the biggest writing slump. I really do apologize for that, and I want to give a big thank you to everyone who stuck around and showed and shared love and support for the first chapter and this series! I can confidently say that the writing slump has finally passed, and we can finally get this crazy show on the road...

An (almost) year before that night in Vegas.

“Dieter, I'm expecting you to be on your best behavior tonight."

Dieter scowls at his publicist while his groomer diligently applies yet another round of pomade in an attempt to tame his unruly curls. "Define best behavior."

"They're about to launch a new girl into the circuit, some unknown that the studio thinks will become the next girl next door," his publicist responds, tapping away at his MacBook. "She's a genuinely sweet thing, all doe-eyed and untouched by the suits. Apparently, she's so sweet that Feldman-"

“Let me guess,” Dieter deadpans, "Feldman wants to fuck her," he rolls his eyes at that, slightly curious at the prospect of fresh blood. "Why am I not surprised?"

"That's not the best part," his publicist quips, his eyes locking with Dieter's over the rim of his laptop. "The studio wants to protect their asset, so much so that they hired-"

"No fucking way, they hired the Shark for this broad? What? Does she have beer-flavored nipples or something?" Dieter exclaims, his curiosity piqued. "Is she really that sweet?"

His publicist's mouth quirks into a small smirk. "The sweetest, most fucking forbidden fruit, my friend. So sweet that the Shark doesn't want you within ten feet of his client."

"Oh yeah?" Dieter replies, his eyes raised.

"Hell yeah. He tried to corner me earlier, warning me to keep my client's - and I quote - Dirty fucking paws off of his Doll-"

"Doll, huh? I bet I could tap that," Dieter challenges, his chest puffed out.

Dieter's publicist chuckles to himself, shaking his head. "Dieter, I know you believe you're God's gift to the masses, but trust me, this Doll? She's a bit out of your league."

Dieter leans back in his chair, a sly grin forming on his face. "Out of my league, huh? That just makes it more interesting. The thrill of the chase, my friend."

His publicist raises an eyebrow, skeptical. "Dieter, I've seen you chase plenty, but this Doll is different. She's not like the others. There's an innocence about her that even your charm might struggle to crack."

Dieter smirks, undeterred. "Well, we'll see about that. The forbidden fruit always tastes the sweetest, doesn't it?"

The publicist lets out a resigned sigh. "Just remember, Dieter, not every fruit is meant to be plucked."

"What is this event even for?" Dieter counters, appraising himself as his stylist smooths the fabric of his suit, a deep emerald green number with a crisp obsidian button-down. He pouts at the mirror, glancing at his publicist and his agent behind him. "It's not the Nickelodeon Kids Choice Awards again, is it?"

"Why? So you could be caught doing blow off a toilet bowl seat like last year? I'm still doing damage control for that, you know," his agent deadpans. "You're in luck; it's the MTV Movie Awards-"

"... and this is Doll's debut, huh? Is she up for an award or something?"

"Several, actually. Surprisingly, her last film gained quite the following-"

"... let me guess, it's some rom-com," Dieter interjects, a hint of disinterest in his tone. "What are the categories?"

"Three, to be exact." His agent smirks into his cognac. "Best Female Lead, Female Breakout Star, and Best Kiss-"

"Best Kiss? Seriously?" Dieter retorts incredulously, his eyes widening. "What's the name of her movie? I might need to see it for myself-"

"Dieter, level with me. Are you gonna keep your dirty fucking paws off of the Shark's asset?" his publicist sighs, giving him a stern look. "As much as I want to shove my foot up his fucking ass, I don't have the energy to have him breathing down my back the entire fucking night-" he looks off into Dieter's direction, who is currently on your Wikipedia page. He frowns. "Dieter, do you hear me?"

"What?" Dieter snaps, slamming his phone onto his seat.

"Can you manage to be on your best behavior tonight? Stay clear of-"

"No. I mean, sure, fine, whatever-" Dieter interrupts, his tone dismissive.

"Dieter-"

"I heard you! I promise to stay away from her, but the real question is, are you able to keep her away from me?" He smirked, a glint of mischief in his eyes.

The (not-so meet cute) at the MTV Movie Awards.

"Dieter!" you shout, hastily making your way toward him, clearly a few drinks in. "Surprised to see you here!" you shout excitedly, a little wobble in your step as you approach him. 

You adorn a sleek silver gown, your hair elegantly swept to one side, and your radiant face contrasting vividly with the venue's intense lights. Dieter finds himself momentarily breathless as he gazes at you, captivated by your ethereal presence, akin to an angel descending into the depths of hell. "Fuck me," he murmurs under his breath as you draw near, the collar around his neck suddenly feeling constrictive as he nervously swallows. "What the hell? I never get nervous around women," he mutters to himself, his eyes tracing the entirety of your figure. His pants grow notably tighter, his attention fixated on the hypnotic sway of your hips.

He greets you with a nervous smile as you come face to face, tenderly planting a kiss on your cheek. His eyes close momentarily as he savors your delicate scent, a sensation that electrifies his chest and courses through his veins, prompting his hands to instinctively caress the back of your head as he subtly tries to capture another whiff. A subtle sense of pride swells within him as he notices the blush unexpectedly blooming across your skin, its warmth cascading down your cleavage.

Forbidden fucking fruit indeed. 

"Doll," he attempts to say smoothly, a hint of nervousness lacing his voice. "I've heard so much about you. Congrats on your wins tonight; they're truly well-deserved!"

"Really?" you suddenly squeal, and Dieter feels like he could get lost in your energy. It's pure, sweet, and so inherently innocent—the childlike wonder of being thrust into the limelight, untarnished by the sleazy underbelly of Hollywood. He can't help but internally frown, foreseeing the inevitable vultures in suits trying to get a piece of you. Their insatiable hunger for new, sweet flesh is something he knows all too well.

"Well, yeah, Doll, you killed it, as expected. Winning tonight and sweeping all your nominations was a given," he muses, casually leaning against his chair. As he leans towards you, a subconscious desire prompts him to take another whiff of your perfume, desperately trying to commit its essence to memory amid the haze of his coke-induced high. He can't resist burying his nose in your hair, eyes closing as he takes you in once more. 

"Dieter-" you question his sudden boldness, a nervous chuckle escaping you. 

"I'm sorry, baby-" he moans into your neck, his hands traveling down the length of your back. "You must tell me what the name of your perfume is, its divine-"

"Oh," you laugh as Dieter pulls you into him tighter, groaning as his hands travel dangerously close down your hips. "It's 'Missing Person' by-"

"Doll," a voice emerges from behind the two of you, accompanied by a stern clearing of someone's throat. Dieter's expression darkens as he recognizes the owner of the voice, but not before planting one final teasing kiss against your throat. With a smirk playing on his lips, he straightens up and turns to confront the perpetually annoyed yet annoyingly handsome face of the man Hollywood dubs 'The Shark'- also known as the most ruthless of publicists in all of Tinseltown, protecting his clients with an iron fist so strong no one ever thinks of crossing him.

Unless they wanted a cease and desist letter shoved so far up their assholes... without any fucking lube.   

Dieter gets it, though. If he were in his shoes and he had a client like you? All sweet and pure with the face of an angel but a body curated by the Devil himself?

Well, he would fuck your brains out and make you forget your name first, but that's beside the point. The point is, he gets it, he really fucking does.  

"Well well well," Dieter croons as he holds his hand up towards your publicist. "It's been a long time, Shark. Tell me, did you have to call ahead to make sure that some poor bloke's mangled testicles made it onto your plate for tonight, or did you rip someone's balls off fresh on-site?" he snarks with the raise of his eyebrow, shaking his head as your publicist stares at his outstretched hand in greeting. Dieter scoffs as he retreats his hand, placing it on his hip.  

"Bravo," Your publicist grits through clenched teeth as he tries to appear as unbothered as possible. "Aren't you a little old to be here tonight? The rumors aren't true, you know. Fucking girls close to half your age doesn't keep you young, but I suppose it makes sense, considering a woman your age would know better-"

"Shark, I won't tolerate you talking like that in the presence of an actual earth-bound angel. Just because she's young doesn't mean she doesn't know right from wrong-" Dieter retorts, flashing you a smoldering smile. "... you know how to handle yourself, don't you, Doll? You don't need some uptight prick telling you what you can and cannot do, right?" he winks, a slight puff to his chest.

You visibly shiver at his cheeky insinuation, nodding. "Right," you breathe, taking a hasty gulp of your champagne. "I'm 29 years old, I don't need you defending my 'honor' like I'm some virginal maiden-"

"Well, when my client has far too many drinks in her and doesn't understand the kind of man she's in the presence of-"

"The Devil, right?" Dieter exclaims, pointing to himself. "A no-good washed-up actor who fucks anything with two legs while high off my rocker, who just so happens to be good at what I do with the Oscar in my shitter to prove it? Don't you think she knows all of this? My bare ass isn't on the front page of TMZ weekly because I'm a nobody, baby."

"Oh my god, Dieter," you gush, clapping your hands together. "I loved you in-"

"Doll," your publicist interrupts, a firm hand on your shoulder. "You have that meeting with Favreau at the Beverley Hills in 30 minutes. As much as we would love to stay and chat... we have our jobs to get to, right Doll?" your publicist says to you sweetly, his hand grazing your arm. He clears his throat, nodding at Dieter. "Bravo, it was stimulating, as always," he deadpans with a hint of finality, pulling on your elbow like a lost puppy on a leash. Dieter swallows as he witnesses your light dimming from your face, a small frown on your face as you try to remain cordial, a fake smile etched on your face.  

"It was nice meeting you, Dieter," you almost whisper, pulling him into one last hug. "... maybe we'll just run into each other again soon?" You quickly whisper in his ear, and the thought of the two of you meeting up in secret thrills him to no end. His dick certainly twitches at the prospect. 

Dieter takes one last whiff of your scent, his eyes closing as he wills the time to stand still, not wanting to lose the warmth radiating from your aura. He presses one last kiss on your cheek, his fingers caressing the spot as he gives you a genuine smile.  

"... it wouldn't be soon enough, baby."

He gives The Shark one last salute, flipping him off once his back is toward him. “Fucking asshole cockblock,” he mutters to himself, patting his suit pocket for his little baggie of E. He pinches the baggie between his fingers, looking at its contents in silent contemplation.  I guess if I can't get the girl, at least I can get the high, right?

The morning after.

Dieter is face down on his sofa in his boxers and his robe, groaning from the after-effects of his debauchery just a few hours before. As if his skull is splitting into two, he winces as he turns himself onto his back, staring aimlessly into his ceiling as his iPhone suddenly starts to go off from under him.

Sighing, he blindly reaches for his phone, one eye open as he squints into the tiny, shattered screen.

TMZ NEWS FLASH! Up-and-coming Actress who swept MTV awards show last night being groped by Resident Playboy Dieter Bravo? Her publicist sweeps in to save our New "It" Girl in Tinseltown from the grasp of the Devil himself-

Dieter scoffs as he swipes the notification away, his eyes scanning the next headline.

AP NEWS ALERT: Dieter Bravo seen kissing Rising Actress at MTV Movie Awards last night, is a new romance brewing between the Fresh-Faced Actress and Playboy Lothario Dieter Bravo?

"Dieter," his publicist groans as he walks into the room, picking up a crumpled pair of boxer briefs off the sofa, and throws himself on it, pinching the space between his eyebrows as he shakes his head. "What the hell did I tell you? Stay away from The Shark's client, don't grope her in front of him! Can't you just listen to me for once?"

"It was innocent! I kept my hands at a respectable distance from her ass," Dieter retorts, throwing his phone across the room. "I didn't even make a move—"

"That's not the point, Dieter!" his publicist spits back, pulling out his phone. "Do you realize how much this guy despises you? I'm good at my job, but The Shark? I can't go against a god—"

"You're making him out to be some untouchable—"

"...because he is untouchable, Dieter! Do you even know he's buddies with Feldman? After learning about your stunt last night, he's considering pulling you from the project."

"Please," Dieter scoffs, rolling his eyes. "They need me more than I need them! I'm practically doing them a favor, signing on to this fucking movie. They're not going to pull Dieter Bravo from a sinking ship! It's just scare tactics!"

"Yeah, well, you know what they say. The pussy is stronger than god, right?" his publicist replies, scrolling through his phone. "Feldman didn't appreciate your hands on his girl, and now he's out for blood. I warned you about this, D. Is some girl worth losing a multi-million dollar contract? Do you want to go back to doing 'surprise guest star' roles on cable TV? I heard they're thinking of rebooting 'Suits', it might be a good fit for you-"

"So what do I need to do then?" Dieter fires back, a joint between his lips. "I assume I'll be needing to make a public statement or some shit? Keep the old bastard happy?"

"It's funny you mention that D. I have an email from The Shark himself, with a list of what he wants you to say in your statement, promising he'll back the fuck off if you promise to not go within ten feet of his asset-"

"Have you ever heard of 'Missing People' perfume?" Dieter suddenly asks, taking a hit off his joint, his eyes following the thick plume of smoke as he leans back into the sofa. "Missing... Woman?" he mumbles to himself absentmindedly, licking his lips. "Fuck, what did she say it was? I need to stop going to these things blitzed out of my fucking mind-"

"Dieter, focus. Are we releasing the statement or not?"

"MARCUS!" Dieter calls out for his PA suddenly, ignoring his publicist as he grabs the phone out of his hands. "MARCUS! I NEED YOU!"

"Yes D?" Marcus responds as he rushes into the living room, pulling a fresh pack of Kitkat out of his back pocket. "Did you need a snack?"

"Have you ever heard of 'Missing Someone' perfume?" he asks once more as he pulls up the Safari app on his publicist's phone.  

"You mean 'Missing Person' by Phlur?" Marcus quips, picking up the stray pieces of discarded clothing strewn randomly around the room. “One of my favorite actresses just became the spokesperson for that perfume, swears by it-“ 

“Missing PERSON, that’s what it was!” Dieter shouts, tossing his publicist's phone back at him. “Marcus, you’re a fucking godsend! I knew there was a reason why I kept you around! Could you do me a small favor?”

"What do you need, D?" Marcus asks eagerly, his hand perched on his hip. 

"I need you to buy me 'Missing People'. A couple of bottles, at least."

"How many is a couple?" Marcus asks with a nervous chuckle. "Five? Are you giving these out as gifts or something?"

"Maybe I could call Chriselle, and tell her you're interested in the company, there are more scents suitable for men, D," his publicist says casually, pulling out his laptop from his messenger bag. "I ran into her at Erewhon the other day, she's a big fan of your work, and couldn't stop talking about Cliff Beasts... Now, about that statement-"

"Fuck asking, just go to Neimans or Sephora or something and buy out their entire stock. Lotions and body wash and candles if it comes in that scent, too, Marcus. Go to all of the fucking Sephoras if you need to."

"... the entire stock? D, what is this for?"

"Do I pay you to ask all of these fucking questions? Don't worry about what I'm going to do with it. Just get it in my hands by the end of the day, do you think you could swing that?"

"... yes?"

Dieter takes another drag out of his joint, nodding aimlessly. "Great. Also, stop by Blicks on your way back. I need an entire arsenal and the biggest canvas they have. New brushes, too! Set up my studio and put the 'Missing People' in my bathroom, and I'll want my usual In n Out order, too."

Flustered, Marcus pulls out his phone and starts typing Dieter's requests on his notes app. Running a nervous hand through his hair, he looks at his boss once more. "Anything else?"

"Yeah. Get the fuck out of my face and get to work, Marcus. Chop Chop!"

His assistant nods and scrambles out of the living room, tripping on the corner of the area rug on his way out. Dieter's publicist raises his eyebrow at the display, shaking his head as he types away on his laptop. "You know, you could be nicer to him, D. He tries hard to cater to your every fucking whim and fancy... now, are we gonna release that fucking statement or not?"

"What statement?" Dieter asks absentmindedly as he pulls out a small baggie from his robe pocket.  

"The one where you say that you had a little too much to drink and that you didn't mean anything by groping Doll at the Movie Awards, and that you're really sorry and will be donating a couple thousand to a women's shelter-"

"... and this will make The Shark happy? and Feldman off my ass?" he replies, rubbing his gums as he smiles to himself. "I'll be able to stay on the project?"

"You can start packing your bags, yes. Filming starts in a week for the next few months in Europe. It'll give this whole Movie Awards nonsense some time to blow over."

Dieter considers this for a moment. He sticks his tongue out in contemplation, coming to the unsettling realization that he hasn't been in a major studio project in the last few years. He needs this job more than they need him, and deep down, he knows this. He takes one last drag out of his joint, flicking the roach away as he turns towards his publicist.

"Release the fucking statement."

His publicist nods, fingers flying across the keyboard. "Good," he murmurs, genuine relief softening his features. "I can't handle you out of work for another month, not after the fucking pandemic... What's the deal with all that perfume, anyway?"

"What?" Dieter replies absentmindedly, scratching his beard.

"The stuff you made Marcus buy in bulk," his publicist clarifies.

"Forget the perfume. Do you still have those photos I sent you?"

"I've got them, but I haven't checked them out yet. Why?"

Dieter gestures toward the laptop. "Why don't you take a look?"

His publicist eyes him warily, opening the email. His expression shifts to shock as he glimpses the contents. "Is this—"

Dieter nods, a smirk creeping onto his face. "Yep."

"This is huge, Dieter. How did you even get these? They're screwed if this ever goes public—"

"That's why it's payback time. A little warning shot," Dieter interrupts, leaning forward eagerly. "We leak the photos. Anonymously, of course."

"Dieter," his publicist warns, "If they trace it back to you—"

"I'll take the risk. They messed with the wrong guy," Dieter scoffs, a hint of satisfaction in his voice. "These amateurs think they can get away with it?" he mutters to himself, then clears his throat. "Remember our motto?"

"Nobody fucks with Dieter Bravo."

Dieter leans back on the sofa, nodding. "That's right. Nobody fucks with Dieter Bravo."

Six Months later.

"Hi, I'm Carol Cobb!"

"... and I'm Dieter Bravo!"

"And we are doing a Wired Autocomplete Interview!"

"Alright! Is Dieter Bravo..." Carol energetically rips the first sheet of paper off her card, a playful smile spreading across her face as Dieter looks attentively at the camera. "Is Dieter Bravo dead?!" She bursts into laughter, smacking Dieter with the card, who simply shrugs. "Wow! Why would they hit us with that right out of the gate?"

"Not dead yet!" Dieter exclaims, pushing his signature glasses off his face while gazing into the camera. "Got close... several times," he adds with a pointed smirk.

"...and we are very much thankful for that!" Carol shouts. "Shall we move on to the next one?" She tears the next slip of paper, her eyes widening as she reads, “Is Dieter Bravo secretly married?!”

“Well, it wouldn’t be a secret if I spilled the beans now, would it?” Dieter smiles conspiratorially, rubbing his chin in contemplation.

“I can't imagine you ever settling down,” Carol muses with a smirk. "It seems unnatural, like going against the natural order of things, like sea animals on land. Dieter Bravo, settled down with one girl? Hell would have to freeze over before that ever happens," she teases.

"I think it could happen," Dieter says matter-of-factly, crossing his arms over his chest as he settles back into his seat.

"What could happen?" Carol asks, her curiosity piqued.

"Settling down. Getting married, perhaps... even starting a family," Dieter replies thoughtfully.

"It would take quite the woman to make 'The Great Lothario' change his ways. Seems like an impossible feat," Carol interrupts, chuckling. "A woman who can stop the great Dieter Bravo from his manwhoring ways? Maybe someone who lives under a rock and doesn't know about your reputation."

"Actually," Dieter interjects, a hint of excitement in his voice. "I think I've met someone recently who's made quite an impression on me."

Carol's eyes widen in surprise. "What do you mean, you think you've met someone? Who is this mysterious girl that's captured your attention, D?"

"Well, she's an actress-"

"Of course," Carol quips with a knowing smirk.

"... she's new. I had the pleasure of meeting her at the MTV Movie-"

"You're not talking about Doll, are you? The woman you groped after meeting her for the first time? Someone even said that they caught you sniffing her! Who does that, Dieter?!"

"I am a connoisseur of all things exquisite and beautiful, ma chérie. She smelled absolutely divine, and I swear her scent lingered on me for days after, I swear, just let me nuzzle my face in between the valley of those luscious tits-"

"God, D. I think they're gonna have to edit this shit out!" Carol mutters, looking embarrassed by Dieter's boldness. She leans towards Dieter. "I thought you signed some embargo with The Shark promising you wouldn't mention her," she whispers in his ears. "Even I wouldn't think to fuck with him-"

"Well, Feldman was my main concern, and now he's facing jail time for all of those underage claims and those leaked photos, so fuck it!" Dieter counters, knowing damn well he worked behind the scenes for it to happen, leaking a few photos he had stored away on his iCloud, kissing himself on the mouth knowing it would come in handy sooner or later.  

AP NEWS ALERT: Hollywood bigshot arrested for leaked inappropriate images from an anonymous source of various actresses, denies all allegations of misconduct.

One asshole down, one Shark to bury next, he thinks to himself, chuckling at the thought. "Besides, I can't get her out of my fucking mind! I've never felt this way about a woman before, Carol, I mean it this time!"

"I mean, she's undeniably beautiful," Carol agrees, "but she's still new to the industry. They've been typecasting her in those romcoms with whatshisname, but I've heard she's pushing for more challenging roles—"

"Cut!" The director's voice slices through the air, his eyes narrowed at them both. "This interview is about promoting Cliff Beasts, not discussing Dieter's love life with some woman."

"Hey, that 'woman'? She's my future wife, so watch your damn mouth," Dieter snaps back, his tone defensive.

"Whoa, D, hold on. Future wife? You barely know her!" Carol interjects, her hand pressed against her chest in disbelief. "Take it easy, baby. Get to know her first, at least."

"It's gonna happen, Carol. I can feel it in my damn bones. I was drawn to her the moment I laid eyes on her," Dieter insists, his confidence unwavering.

"Listen, Casanova, I don't care who you think you're gonna marry, but we're on a tight schedule here!" the director interrupts, frustration evident in his voice. "Stick to the damn questions, and no more talk about your little 'girlfriend.'"

"Fine," Dieter mutters, rolling his eyes and taking a sip of water. "But do me a favor—don't cut out the part about her assets. It'll bring in views like crazy. I did you a favor there."

The director waves him off as he storms away. "Remind me why I took this job knowing this idiot would be here," he mutters to himself, heading back behind the camera.

The day of the (not so thought out) wedding.

Dieter is anxiously bouncing his leg, biting his pinky nail as his groomer meticulously applies another layer of concealer under his darkened eyes. "Jeez D, have you been sleeping at all lately?"

"What?" Dieter asks absentmindedly, running a shaky hand through his curls. "Yeah- I've been sleeping, why?"

“Your under-eyes, D. They’re darker than my fucking soul, man. Didn’t I tell you to lay off on the sauce? I’m on my fourth layer of concealer-“

“It’s nothing,” Dieter says dismissively. “Just… have you ever been in love?” 

"Sure I have," his groomer replies, a small smile on their face. "That's why I'm married, silly. Why?"

"Say you like a girl, and you think that this girl might be interested but then TMZ posts leaked photos of said girl and some beefed up Hollywood hunk "canoodling" with each other while filming their movie together in Canada-"

"This is Doll that we're talking about, correct? The one you groped at the MTV Movie-"

"I DIDN'T GROPE HER!" Dieter exclaims, groaning as he sinks further into his seat. "Why does everyone keep saying that? I was simply giving her a friendly, yet casual hug when she APPROACHED ME-"  He huffs like a petulant child, his arms crossed around his chest in defiance. "Anyway, I thought, after I desperately tried to shoot my shot, let my intentions known in that 'Wired' Interview with Carol, that she would contact me, you know? Maybe slide into my DMs-" 

“Slide into your DMs?” His groomer scoffs, plucking a stray eyebrow hair with their tweezers from his face as he dramatically flinches, narrowing his eyes at them. “You flat out said you wanted to smother your face in the ‘valley of her luscious tits’, I would be surprised if she hasn't filed a restraining order against you yet... Let me give you a bit of advice: Girls want to be romanced, not objectified! ... have you ever had a 'real' girlfriend before, D?"

"Hey! I've had girlfriends, alright?" Dieter groans, frustration evident in his voice as he clenches his fists. "Just because they didn't stick around afterward doesn't mean it was all my fault, okay?"

"The girls you hook up with during your benders and then discard once the high wears off don't exactly qualify as 'real' girlfriends, D! Let's be serious here!"

"That's what I'm trying to be," he whines, "I'm trying SO HARD to be serious for once! I can't get this girl out of my head, and it's been what? Almost a year since I've met her? I can't get my dick hard when I'm with anyone else anymore, I don't want to take drugs, it's like I'm fucking broken or something! ... and now she's off fucking Joe Hollywood over here like I'm not bleeding my fucking heart out for her-"

"Wait, you mean to tell me that you're actually sober right now?"

"Well, yeah. The last time I took something was before filming Cliff Beasts, I thought you knew that. Anyway, it doesn't fucking matter. All of that and she doesn't even notice me."

"Well, I would tell you that if you had bothered to read TMZ this morning instead of sulking, you would know that there are split rumors between this girl and Hollywood neanderthal," His groomer retorts, a shit-eating grin on their face. "It was over before it even began. I mean, I've heard for such a massive man, he has quite the tiny di-"

Dieter perks up at that. "Say that again."

"They've broken up. She's back on the market, silly goose."

"So that means-"

"That means that I'm going to groom the shit out of you and help you out by making her realize just what she's missing out on, D." His groomer replies, massaging his scalp as they make eye contact through the mirror in front of them. "You're lucky that I consider myself a hopeless romantic. If you promise not to break her heart, I'll help you get the girl, ok?"

"Shit, do you think she'll like me?" Dieter says nervously, fidgeting in his seat.  

"Obviously," his groomer replies cryptically, a smirk forming on the corner of their mouth. "I may or may not have some intel from another groomer friend of mine about their supposed breakup."

"Oh?" Dieter perks up, his eyebrow raised in curiosity. "... and what would that intel be?"

"Oh, you know. Someone might have asked their stylist if they think you'll be attending tonight, how she kept trying to be sly about it."

"Doll asked about me?! Are you serious?" Dieter's excitement is palpable.

"Well, according to my friend, the reason why they broke up was that someone might have moaned your name while being eaten out by 'Joe Hollywood' the other day-"

"No fucking way!"

"She's into you, D! I would say that your little ploy during the 'Wired' interview worked more than you think, bud."

Dieter nods, taking the biggest sigh of relief as he settles in his chair. "One last thing, do you groom just the top half of me, or are you open to grooming other places?"

"What do you mean?" his groomer cocks their head to the side.  

"Shit, well... are you open to grooming my nether regions? It's been a while since I've been with a woman, I'm almost full caveman down there-"

His groomer tsks, pulling out their phone. "Dieter, as much as I love you, I don't love you that much. Let me call someone for that, ok?"

A few hours later, on the red carpet.

"Dieter," his publicist says under his breath as they walk down the red carpet. "The cameras are this way, why are you so distracted?"

"I'm looking for someone," Dieter replies as he winks at the sea of paparazzi, flashing them a peace sign as he walks toward the venue's entrance.

"Well, who are you looking for?" His publicist replies impatiently, looking down the red carpet.

"Doll, obviously. Do you know if she's arrived yet?"

His publicist rolls his eyes, sighing. "She arrived about five minutes ago, don't you see her?"

Dieter inhales deeply, his gaze scanning past the vibrant red carpet until it locks onto yours. His breath catches in his chest, surprised by the unexpected connection. You appear taken aback at first, but swiftly compose yourself, subtly angling your body towards him with a seductive smile playing on your lips.

"Holy Shit..." Dieter's mind races with excitement. "She really does want me."

Filled with newfound confidence, he playfully purses his lips in your direction, sending a cheeky kiss your way as his eyebrows wiggle in amusement. A flush of color blooms across your cheeks in response, catching his eye. But as he revels in the moment, he notices The Shark's gaze narrowing in his direction, a whisper passing between him and you.

That's fucking right Shark.  I'm coming for my girl, and there is nothing you can fucking do about it.  

Later, Dieter observes you from across the room as you sit at your table, alone, nursing another glass of champagne. He notices how you try to avoid meeting his gaze, despite catching you stealing glances at him throughout the night when you think he isn't looking. It surprises him to see you being so reserved, so quiet, especially without The Shark hovering around you like a protective dragon guarding its treasure.

What's gotten you so down, babydoll?  he muses, leaning back into his chair. As if you could read his thoughts, your eyes meet from across the room once more, and you quickly look away, smiling to yourself at getting caught looking.

Dieter senses the moment's significance, his heart racing with anticipation. He knows he must seize this opportunity, the perfect moment to step forward and break the barrier between the two of you. With a determined smile, he decides it's time to make his move.

As he rises from his chair, Dieter's confidence swells, fueled by the intensity of the moment. With purposeful strides, he crosses the room, his gaze fixed on you, the anticipation building with each step. This is his chance to bridge the gap, to finally reveal the feelings he's kept hidden for so long.

He draws in another deep breath as he approaches you from behind, mustering his most seductive gaze as he leans in towards your exposed ear, his warm breath grazing your skin.

"I can't help but notice that you've been eye-fucking me the entire night."

He groans softly as he takes a seat in the chair beside yours, hoping to conceal any nerves as he attempts to exude charm. "I guess my little ploy of trying to get your attention with that 'Wired' interview worked out in my favor-"

You respond with a subtle smile, your fingers gracefully tracing the edge of your champagne glass. How does something as simple as that manage to rile me up? he wonders inwardly, returning your smile.

"You know," you say softly, a chuckle escaping you as you shake your head in disbelief, "There are more normal ways to get a girl's attention-"

The longer Dieter spends in your presence, the more he feels himself on edge, the tension mounting with every passing moment. His pulse quickens, and he can't ignore the growing semi in his suit pants. It's astonishing how much you affect him, like a siren calling out for him while lost at sea, lying in wait, ready to bring him to absolute ruin. 

Fuck. Keep it cool, Bravo.

"Ah, but you're America's Sweetheart, and your pitbull of a publicist won't let me near you, I had to let my-" he gulps at the sight of your ample bust, licking his lips in anticipation, "... intentions very clearly known."

"Well," you breathe, chest heaving. "I don't know if it's 'clearly' known," your voice drops to a whisper, like a secret that is shared only between the both of you, two lonely souls amongst a sea of chaos. "I think you're just going to have to spell it out for me."

Dieter, sensing victory, leans back triumphantly, spreading his legs as he subtly encloses you within his space. His dark, smoldering gaze meets your thinly veiled attempt at your best innocent doe eyes... but Dieter sees right through it. He grins widely, reveling in the knowledge that he's the cat about to get all of the cream—your cream.  That's right, babydoll, I've finally caught you, and I'm never going to let you go.

He laughs at the sight of you, his chin motioning to your breasts.  "Do you want to have sex with me, Dollface?"

Your eyes widen, and a small gasp escapes your lips, as you search his gaze, trying to decipher if he's just bullshitting or if he's actually fucking serious.  I'm serious, alright, he chuckles to himself. "If I miscalculated this fucking thing that's going on between us, tell me and I'll fuck off, leave you alone-"

"What if I don't want you to fuck off, and want to tell you that I'm this close to being plastered and that all I kept thinking about tonight is you railing me with that huge cock we both know is aching for me in some deserted hallway-" you challenge, picking your champagne glass for good measure, downing its contents in one swig.  For courage, he thinks. "I would beg to ask you... what's taking you so damn long, Bravo?"

WhatsApp chat between Dieter & Marcus: Dieter: Hey Marcus, are you still in the venue? Marcus: Yes! With your publicist. Did you need something? Dieter: This party blows. Can I borrow your car? Marcus: Oh, did you want me to drive you home? The party just started, Dieter. Dieter: I can drive myself back, stay for the party! Catch a ride with the suits afterward! Get shitfaced, you're officially off the clock! Marcus: Seriously? Do you know how to drive a stick? It's my baby, I don't know if I feel comfortable with you driving it, are you high right now? 🤦‍♂️ Dieter: No, for the last time, I'm fucking clean, man. Just do me a solid and let me borrow your car, I swear I'll give you a fucking raise! What do you want for one night with your baby? Tell me, I'll give you anything! Marcus: Fine. Just tell me what you did with all of that fucking perfume, there"s a bet going on and I would like to shove it in your publicist's face that I know! Dieter: Seriously man? That's all you want? Marcus: Do you want my keys or not, D? Dieter: Fine. I took the fucking perfume, doused my entire bedroom in it, and fucked myself smelling it thinking about Doll. Dieter: Is that enough of an explanation for you? Come the fuck on, man, I need your car! Please! 🙏 Marcus: 🙌 Meet me at the lobby in five. 

"So tell me," Dieter shouts as he peels out of the parking lot, laughing at the delighted squeal that escapes your lips as you throw your head back, your arms raised upward as he turns quickly into the streets of Los Angeles. "How often did you think about me, babydoll?"

You boldly reach over to cup his erection, your small hand wrapping around the tip of it. "As much as I reckon you thought of me, Bravo. Tell me, how often did you come, alone in that massive bed of yours, to the thought of your cock thrusting into my tight pussy?"

"Fuck baby, do you want me to crash this car? It's not mine, you know?"

"Answer the fucking question, Bravo."

"Baby, if you only knew how much I fucking came just thinking about your tits... I don't think you know just what exactly you got yourself into, little girl... but I'll show you just how I thought of you coming on my fat cock, giving me absolutely everything-"

I've been hungry for you, baby, and I'm going to feast on every inch of your body, just you fucking wait-

He cackles like a madman as he peels into the dwindling streets of LA. "Are you hungry, Dollface?" he yells, almost running a red light, his eyes fixed on the glowing In n Out sign in the distance.

"I shouldn't, I have that screen test next week-"

"Fuck the screen test!" he shouts. "The night is young, and you are gorgeous. Let Dieter take care of you, baby... while I still have you in my grasp. I ain't gonna waste a moment I have you in my orbit!"

He pulls into the In n Out parking lot, cutting the engine, and pulls you into his lap, his face immediately diving into the valley between your breasts. "You can suffocate me with these tits and I would die a happy man," he mumbles against your skin, his growl reverberating throughout your entire body like wildfire. "What do you say, Doll? Would you do me the honors?"

"Fuck Dieter," you moan, tipping your head back in pleasure as his tongue teases the edge of your dress covering your breasts. "Grab my tits," you beg, grabbing his hands for good measure. Dieter wastes no time as he grabs the back of your head, pulling you into a kiss, his tongue licking along the seam of your mouth, begging for entrance.  

"Open up for me, baby girl. Let Dieter taste you-" he pleads, and you pull away with him, your hair wrecked and lipstick smeared. Dieter imagines he looks as wrecked as you do, his pupils blown and chest heaving. You pull him into another kiss, sighing into it, your mouth opening slightly. Dieter takes this as a sign to devour you completely, your tongues fighting for dominance as you begin to rock your hot pussy against his thick cock.

"I want to ride you into the sunset, D," you whisper, pulling at his curls harshly. "Are you gonna give me what I want? Or am I going to have to find someone else to do it?"

"Fuck-" Dieter pants, his gaze reaching yours, his mouth agape in awe. "How in the fuck did I get so fucking lucky-"

"Grab my tits, D," you ask once more, moaning and throwing your head back, biting your lower lip as you grind on his throbbing erection. Dieter quickly obliges, his large hands engulfing both of your breasts. His fingertips graze the edge of your dress, the hardness of your nipple pressing into the middle of his palm, and he swears that if he were to be struck down dead right at this moment, he would die a happy man.  

"Shit, I knew that your tits would feel amazing, but you are so fucking soft-"

"Oh yeah?" you tease, your teeth grazing the shell of his ear. "I'm soft in other places, too." You whisper in his ear, and he swears he feels the ghost of your smile as he moves his hands back on your hips, his fingertips squeezing the softness of your ass as he angles his dick where he imagines your clit to be, thrusting into your hot, wet heat. "Fuck, so goddamn soft-" he groans, his tongue licking a wet stripe along the tops of your breasts. "You're fucking everything I never knew I always wanted, baby girl," he praises you honestly, cupping your cheek as he pulls you into another kiss, groaning as your tongue dances with his, leaving him breathless.  

"Am I?" you pant as you wrap your arms around his neck, your pussy dragging along the thick outline of his cock. "You talk like you want to marry me or something-"

"... oh, but I do want to marry you, breed you, keep you locked up in my mansion... you have no idea just how much I've thought about you, these last few months-"

"Dieter! My Man!" someone shouts in the distance. "What the fuck are you doing here?!"

"What does it look like I'm doing?" he yells back, "I'm about to fuck this beautiful woman in an In n Out parking lot, what are you doing here?"

"Fuck, can I take a pic, man?" the fan shouts as he approaches the convertible.  

"Don't you see we're a little preoccupied?" you shout at the fan, flicking him off. "Get the fuck out of here!" you shout.

The fan quickly takes a shot of the both of you with his iPhone, a half-hearted apology mumbled out of his mouth as he quickly runs back inside of the restaurant, probably to the group of men who are completely unaware of the two celebrities dry-humping the fuck out of each other in their wake, eating their double-doubles and sneaking sips out of a cup filled with some cheap ass vodka, fist-bumping the night away.

"Are you gonna come in those Gucci pants of yours, D?" you tease, your pace quickening as you ride his dick relentlessly. "How does it feel having America's Sweetheart getting you to come in your pants, baby?"

"Fuck," Dieter pants, his hand wrapping around your neck as he pushes you against the steering wheel, angling the tip of his cock against your clit. "How does it feel to get fucked by The Devil, sweetheart? Your pussy is begging me to just rip those fucking panties off and just claim you, right in front of all of these fucking people-"

You shiver at that, a choked curse and his name out of your mouth as he sees the entirety of your body begin to quiver and shake.  

"Don't fight it, baby, I know you fucking like the attention, I know you want everyone to see how much of a bad fucking girl you are inside... but don't worry, Dieter knows, and I'll help you show them," he pulls you against him harshly, your chest pushed up against his, as his teeth sink at the hollow of your neck. "I'll get the world to see just who you really are, baby. Let me show you the way-"

You scream as he thrusts into you once more as he rips your orgasm out of you violently, crying out into his neck as Dieter explodes into his Gucci trousers, the mixture of your slick and his thick cum making an absolute mess of his loaned suit.  

I guess I'll have to pay for these, Dieter thinks to himself as he cradles your shaking form into his arms, licking away the salty tears running down your face. "You did so good, Doll, don't cry-" he whispers, stroking the back of your head as he tries to get you to calm down. "What do you need, baby?"

You lie quietly against his chest, your breaths falling into rhythm with his, as he assumes you're simply gathering your thoughts. "Baby," he pleads softly, his hands tracing soothing paths along your exposed back. "Please, say something—"

"Marry me," you whisper against his chest, the words barely audible but filled with undeniable certainty.

Dieter freezes, his heart skipping a beat at your unexpected words. For a moment, he's speechless, his mind racing to catch up with the sudden turn of events. Slowly, he lifts his head to meet your gaze, eyes wide with shock and disbelief.

"What did you say?" he breathes, his voice barely above a whisper, as if afraid that speaking any louder might shatter the fragile moment.

You lift your head, meeting Dieter's stunned gaze with unwavering determination. "I said, marry me," you repeat, your voice steady despite the racing of your heart. "Let's take this car and drive it to Vegas, get married by some overweight Elvis impersonator, and book the honeymoon suite at the Cosmo... I don't care how we do it, but let's get fucking married, D!"

Dieter's mind whirls with a mix of emotions—astonishment, disbelief, and a profound sense of joy. He blinks several times, as if trying to confirm that he's not dreaming, before a wide grin spreads across his face.

"Oh, my God," he breathes, his voice trembling with emotion. "Yes. Yes, a thousand times yes."

Taglist:@yxtkiwiyxt @skysmiller @picketniffler @readingiskeepingmegoing @islacharlotte @drewharrisonwriter

@missladym1981@amyispxnk@thespookywookies@stevie75@mysterious-moonstruck-musings

@daydream-believer19@survivingandenduring@darkheartgatita @gobaaby-blog-blog

#the new girl in tinseltown #pedro pascal #dieter bravo #the bubble fanfiction #dieter bravo x female reader #dieter bravo smut #dieter bravo fic #dieter bravo fanfiction #dieter bravo x you #dieter x reader #dieter bravo x reader #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal fanfiction #dieter bravo fanfic #dieter bravo fluff

[xekutozoren]

Unspoken Words - Part 1

I'm lazy and don't have the patience to draw a full comic so I used MMD.

FOR THE FEELS ; A ; I need Terra talking more dammit, so here's him expressing himself a bit more.

I made this mainly for closure after KH3 (as do most Terraqua artists do with their artwork, I suppose ehe) Sorry if it's OOC, this is kind of the result of exploring these characters, their pent-up emotions, and just my take on them. That and I'm several years late. I got back into KH and BBS after 3 rounds of Covid hitting me. Terraqua became my comfort ship.

How bold of me to use a Terra POV when I don't know him as well as Aqua. Please don't kill me.

I guess I'll see how this goes and decide from the responses if I'll upload part 2.

Credits

BBS models by Otzipai-Art, KlaidAstoria and VulpesFelidaeMMD Anti-Aqua model by wallawallabingbong Stage models by Mr-Mecha-Man, redRevolutionnaire, Square Enix & Disney, Nintendo, Julehyrule, AJD-262 and Hakirya

#terraqua #terra x aqua #kh aqua #kh terra #kingdom hearts #birth by sleep #bbs #fan comic #mmd #kh ventus #wayfinder trio #aqua #terra #ventus

[brightgnosis]

Well. It is, unfortunately, official. Did some tests this morning to see, and this is definitely the exact same Migraine I had post Covid the last time, that kept me bedbound for 3 months straight. And I am, once again, bedbound with it- much to my absolute anger and annoyance.

The good news is, I've already survived this once before in the past. So we know I'm not dying this time; we know what it is, and how we originally treated it. So hopefully it shouldn't last nearly as long this round. Just gotta get the ball rolling on treatment quickly; I also don't have the extreme restricted diet or the extreme Parosmia this time. So that's a lovely little bonus that makes this much more bearable just on its own this round.

Anyways. Going to go ahead and go off my Meloxicam immediately as of this morning, since the protocol last time included Ketorolac every 6 hours for 2 weeks. Calling my GP first thing when they open to see if she wants me to go ahead and make an appointmet, or just wants to call in the same med protocol we tried last time, no appointment. Then my Husband's going to cut my hair for me as soon as he gets home from work tonight; we're going to try shoulder length first this time and hope that helps without me having to shave my entire head a second time. And if not ... Whelp. Off the lot goes again I guess 😭

Fingers crossed. Because I am not about this bedbound life. The first time this happened was enough for me, thank you.

#All About That Bedbound Life #Personal #Alphabet Soup #2024 #Post Covid Conditions #Chronic Migraine

[mdzs-owns-my-ass-i-guess]

Funny things I've done, as MDZS characters:

Part 2

Lan Wangji: one morning on my way to uni, i made myself a thermos of coffee to have during the day. When I took the first sip, I realized it was very bitter and when one colleague laughed and said smth along the lines of "too smart to remember sugar?", I downed it all at once, hot and bitter, then said "what's so funny? I always take my coffee like this". Ended up actually developing a taste for simple, black coffee with no sugar or creamers.

Wei Wuxian: went to a restaurant with a friend and ordered a spicy plate of meat and veggies, but it wasn't spicy enough so I sprinkled about half a container of black pepper on it so it would actually be spicy. My friend wanted to taste it too, and after she did, she asked me if I had lost my sense of taste and offered to buy me a rapid covid test.

Lan Sizhui: I carried various pills i didn't really need in 2 of my purses for a whole year because one of my friends tended to forget hers at home all the time and would randomly remember she needs to take them

Lan Jingyi: went to the supermarket to buy one single loaf of bread, came home with 100$ worth of groceries and no bread. Went to the supermarket again, and came back with another round of groceries... and one single loaf of bread.

Ouyang Zizhen: one of my professors couldn't remember my name at all, so he called me by the seat I took in his class for a whole semester, so he always greeted me with a happy "Good morning, Front Row, First Seat!"

Jin Ling: a colleague was talking about how many gifts she needed to buy her family for Christmas because she had a lot of aunties, uncles and cousins. When she asked me for some ideas for gifts, I said "idk, my relatives are crazy... but you can never go wrong with gift cards or money i guess."

Wen Ning: got stepped on my brand new shoes in the bus after a long, hard day and started crying so hard I missed my bus stop

Wen Qing: i was watching House MD with my mom and we both guessed the diagnosis before dr. House did

Lan Qiren: was the only person who did the non-mandatory assignment because I was passionate about the topic and got 3p extra credit I didn't even need

Nie Huaisang: made a presentation about procrastination 1h before it was due and got full points for it

Jin Guangyao: for one of my events organizing courses, the professor asked for weekly updates on the final project during class so he could offer suggestions and feedback. My team and I hadn't started for the first few weeks because we had been busy with assignments for other classes, so I had to gaslight the professor into thinking our project was well underway. I even asked several questions pertaining to topic and gave examples of what we'd already "done". He believed me every time and our project ended up being used as an example of good time management and high quality content for the next year's classes.

Nie Mingjue: got in a screaming match with my mom about some random issue and when my dad tried to calm us down, we both started yelling at him too and that's how we made up

Lan Xichen: my ex best friend got me flowers for my birthday - except they were half wilted, despite both her parents being florists. She said it was because of the windy weather. There had been no wind. But I believed her anyway and kept the flowers until they dried up completely... the next day.

Jiang Cheng: was in a debate during English classin highschool and after hearing the other side's arguments, I stood up, said "with all due respect, everything you've just said is bullshit." and sat back down to let my debate colleague list out the reasons.

Mo Xuanyu: some dude was suspiciously following me around while I was on my way home, so I faked a phonecall during which I loudly explained I forgot to take my psych medication.

#mdzs #mo dao zu shi #original thots #i might add to this if i remember any more

[notallfay]

Your COVID-19 vaccines are one of the best things you can do for your body. I cannot stress this enough. I say this as I recover from my 3 round of COVID-19.

I had the OG Wuhan strain in March 2020. I nearly died. I have scars on my lungs, and long covid. There was no vaccine at the time.

I'm really unlucky that I am really susceptible to COVID-19, that even 3 time round. With all 4 of my vaccines, it was still like a pretty bad flu, but guess what. This time I didn't need an ambulance. This time it was rough, but nothing like the previous 2 times. It was like bad flu rough, and not as I've described to people as "covid sick" because it is a whole leguage of it's own. And I've survived meningitis.

And it's not because I've already been sick with COVID-19, because I've had 3 very different strains. The vaccines have protected me, and as far as I know I've not had any long term disabilities from catching COVID-19 since being vaccinated.

Unlike the first time getting sick.

So get vaccinated and whatever boosters you might need.

I'd normally say if they offered me a booster now, I'd lift my sleeve. But sadly I have to wait for at least a month before having any boosters. But I would given the first opportunity.

#covid 19 #long covid #vaccation #vaccine #covid vaccine #COVID-19 #Covid

[jokeringcutio]

It's fun to see you deep in the Afton hole hehe

Buuuuut... I was just curious if you have any plans for your joker or Arthur harrow fics that are on hold

I didn't wanna seem rude begging for updates when you're in a fnaf fixation tho

Yes, Anon. I have (:

Sometimes I post updates about my writing process or personal life with info about these tales in it :) TLDR: In short: Joker's TMWCTBY will be completed - although I am considering only publishing the full tale in e-book form rather than posting the new chapters on AO3. Joker's Princess and the Clown is nominated to be continued. Joker's new tale is planned for when Joker 2 has aired. Harrow's Harrowing Love will be continued in the new year. A new story featuring Arthur Harrow and Albert Shaw will appear in the upcoming days. For more Details: Joker's 'The Man Who Claimed To Be Yours' was scheduled to be finished by the end of this year, or the start of next. Now unfortunately due to health issues that have me in and out of hospital and bedbound and asleep most of the time, that schedule probably won't be met. But I am still writing the tale and it's nearly done. Perhaps I will release the final chapters in an ebook adaptation of it only - as a slightly rewritten story - because I wanted to turn the story into an ebook for years now and have the cutest cover for it :3 (Yep, man in asylum clothes but I find it cute).

Arthur Harrow's 'Harrowing Love' has been on hold writing-wise for a while now. I really need to continue writing on it, but decided that some of the chapters are more fit to be uploaded near Easter, and already announced the tale will be slow in updates and take off again next year :)

Joker's 'The Princess and the Clown' is one of the Joker 2019 tales I wish to pick up again but have been struggling with the changing perspectives. Also, I have been doubting where to take it. Romantic? Or Dark Romance? I seem to be doing that latter quite well the past year, but should I pull everything into the dark? I haven't decided yet and might do a poll about it one day. I expect I will be rewriting and updating this fic in the future.

Harrow will feature again in a new fanfic that I have started on. None of the chapters have been posted online yet, but it features the Reader as a young woman living trapped in his 'community', after having fallen for his charm. She is aware that escaping the cult is difficult and tries to make the best of it, until her secret crush - Harrow, who apparently has not looked at her romantically even once - forces her to marry his brother: Albert Shaw. This is, as you can guess, a crossover with the Black Phone and will feature lots of smut. I want to upload this fic as soon as possible, so it'll probably be one of the fics you'll see appear soon that features our beloved cult leader Arthur Harrow.

Joker-wise, I have an idea for a multi-chapter fic that I desperately want to write in the future. Plans are to start that tale once TMWCTBY is finally done. But the idea should also fit whatever sequel they have been making, so if I get round to it, you'll probably see it appear only after Joker 2 is out.

As to other projects, there are some more up and running. Of course, there are my other favorite slasher men, and I might write about one of my favorite ladies if I have the chance. I still have tales I need to finish for friends, and I am attempting to write something in a different language for a competition currently. But most of all, I am asleep in my bed, missing a lot of my life currently and having not nearly enough time to do everything I want. I am a mom with two young kids, who had to quit her job due to long covid. The long covid has given me Asthma. I was already a Migraine patient thanks to a benign tumor in my youth. And let's just say I am receptible to them. I am facing abdominal surgery soon and hopefully stop the pains, aches and goddamn bleeding (to everyone who has a blood fetish, you may keep it. I am not into it). I'll be in the hospital again tomorrow for a medical exam, so any updates in the upcoming days will probably be scheduled posts. But I love you all and will keep writing for as long as I can and whenever I can.

#anon answered

[skyloftian-nutcase]

Hey it’s time for another round of “guess which healthcare boy would say something I/my coworkers said”

1: “I would rather take care of COVID patients all day with no mask than deal with bedbugs.”

2: “Nothing like being a therapist at two in the morning!”

3: “*sighing heavily*…Why are you naked?”

4: “Oh thank goodness I thought I was the only one who hated my life before going to work!”

#lu in healthcare

[blueathens]

Heartbreak Teens

Summary: In which Steve chats with his hookup gone wrong about unrequited love.

Song: Love Of My Life by Queen Quote: ‘He loves her, so he’s letting her go.’

Requested

A/N: Wrote this whilst having Covid, so it’s not the best as I’ve been really tired - so I do apologise for that.

A/N 2: Not proof read.

A/N 3: Italics means flashback.

Masterlist//Main Masterlist//Agape Masterlist

“Have you ever been in love?” The young blonde questioned.

Steve and the blonde sat cross-legged on his bed. Steve pinched his duvet between his thumb and index finger as he glanced round his bedroom.

It was the easiest question that was ever said to him, so without any hesitation he responded with: “yes.”

The girl simply giggles. “Of course,” she spoke as if the answer was already obvious, “Nancy Wheeler, right?”

He should have just lied, he should have said yes, he should have told her the answer she was expecting, but he didn’t…he told her the truth, and it only made the pain feel rawer.

“Nope,” he says whilst popping the letter ‘p.’ “Y/n Henderson, actually.” He doesn’t whisper it like he was ashamed, but he does speak it quietly as if he was sharing a secret with his hook-up gone wrong.

It was meant to be a hook-up, then she realised this was something neither of them wanted, so now she was getting him to admit all of his deepest secrets.

“Y/n Henderson? No way,” she gasped, dragging out the last word as she tried to wrap her head around what Steve just told her.

Y/n Henderson was a very pretty woman, someone most girls would be envious of, even more if they found out she was the one who captured Steve Harrington’s heart. She was funny too. She always got in trouble at school for being the typical class clown.

And most of all Y/n Henderson had a good heart. Always with those damn kids that were her brother and his friends – no one truly knowing that she protected the life out of them every time danger came, but Steve knew…he knew as he was now the person who helps her.  

“I always thought I didn’t…” he pauses to think of how he should reword his jumbled-up thoughts. “She told me she loved me when I was with Nancy and since then it made me question a lot of things. My questioning made Nancy break-up with me, and when I was ready to tell Y/n that I’m in love with her too, I see her giggling around with some guy she works with…Axel Myers?”

“Unrequited loves a bitch,” the girl breathlessly laughed, “my bisexual arse went and fell in love with this girl who probably doesn’t even know I exist as her eyes are only on this girl called Vickie.”

Steve didn’t even blink at the fact that the girl in front of him was bisexual, no, all he did was raise his brows as he says: “Are you talking about–”

“Your best friend? Yeah…guess I am.”

Robin Buckley is his best friend, the one person who had to suffer hearing Steve cry over Y/n Henderson, the one girl he’s been wanting since the moment Nancy Wheeler broke up with him.

He would bring down the moon for her if that was what she wanted. Or he would buy a star and name it after her, if that was what she wanted. Or he would catch a thousand fireflies to light up her darkest days, if that was what she wanted. He would do anything for her, anything she wants he would do with no questions.

He would do anything for her as long as she knew he loves her.

But he was too late as now Axel was bringing her flowers just to bring a bashful smile onto her face. He was the one that made cheesy jokes just to hear her laugh. He was the one who was sneaking through her window to hold her during the night. He was the one who got to show her the amount of love he has for her.

And he may not have been doing anything extreme in showing his love for Y/n, like Steve would. But Axel was making Y/n extremely happy and that was worth more than a thousand fireflies.

“I-I think I should let her go,” Steve lowly admitted.

“Let her go?” The girl tilted her head, hands reaching forwards to grip Steve’s knees. “Why?”

“And Y/n has the most prettiest eyes ever Rob–”

“You’ve never seen Star Wars?” A familiar voice fills Family Video, a voice he knew so well as he would hear it nearly everyday of his life, but recently he’s been hearing that voice less. It was followed by a laugh that makes his heart jump to the top of the Eiffel Tower.

“No,” a guy chuckled. “I haven’t had the pleasure in watching it yet.”

Steve narrowed his eyes at the door as he watched two of his most favourite people ever enter with his least favourite.

Dustin and Y/n Henderson was with that Axel guy again. He had his arm thrown over Y/n, bringing her closely to his side as he placed the occasional kiss to the crown of her head. He watched Dustin with so much love in his eyes as he listened to Dustin ramble on about Star Wars.

It almost looked like the three of them were a family.

Steve wondered if he could have prevented all of this from happening, if he didn’t push them away the moment he saw Y/n with Axel. He should have told her then, allowed her to see all of her options. To see that he was in love with her, always has been, even if it was too late. That he was secretly in love with her even when he was with Nancy and rejected her.

He was in love with her, but he guess it’s too late to tell her now as she looks happy.

She is happy.

“We got to watch Star Wars now,” the voice belonging to Dustin came closer to the counter, making Steve snap out of his daydream. He quickly looked to his side to see Robin has disappeared, leaving him to check out the film that was now being placed in front of him.

“Whatever you want little man,” Axel teased, placing his hand over the top of Dustin’s hat, and a small scowl appeared on the young teens face when he felt Axel began to move his hand side to side to mess up his hair underneath.

Axel chuckles once more – it was Steve’s least favourite sound – and moved his hand away.

Dustin smiles as he taps the edge of the counter as he looked at his friend, Steve.

“At least you’ve seen Star Wars,” Dustin gave a teasing look at Axel from over his shoulder before looking back at Steve.

“Only because you and Y/n made me watch it with the party.” Steve smiles as he checks the film out.

“Couldn’t leave you uncultured, could we?” A pink tint made its way to Steve cheeks as he hears her voice again – the voice that made his heart race – he glances up to her placing the money down on the counter before wrapping her arms round her boyfriend – well Steve thinks Axel is her boyfriend – waist.

“At least I’ve seen Back to the Future,” Steve narrowed his eyes at her playfully, watching as she rolled her eyes with a smile that could light up an entire city.

Steve made her smile and that was enough to make his day.

“I have now,” she mutters. “Axel and I watched it last week.”

“Oh?” Steve frowns slightly as he takes the money and handed the film to Dustin.

Y/n and Steve always promised that they would watch it together. That he would rent it out and she would get loads of snacks, they would build a den and then watch it together – and perhaps that would be when Steve admits his feelings for Y/n.

But they never did that as Axel happened instead.

“Hey man,” Axel spoke up before Steve could ask Y/n if she liked it. “If you want, you could come over and watch this film with us.”

The Henderson’s looked at him with begging eyes, and Steve would normally never say no to them, but this time he had too as he knew his heart wouldn’t be able to handle the sight of Axel loving the girl that Steve could never stop thinking about.

“I think I’ll have to pass this time,” Steve gives him a fake smile. “Late shift.”

Axel nods, taking the film out of Dustin’s hands before gesturing to the two Henderson’s that they best be going to get some food.

And before they do leave Y/n tells Steve: “we do miss you, Steve. We should all hang out again, I would really like that.”

Steve inhales a deep breath, smiling as he nods at her.

Then he watched the girl he loved too late leave, her hand in Axel’s and when they left the shop Steve watched with a heavy heart at Axel leaned down to give Y/n the softest of kisses.

He kissed her as if she was a gentle flower, and she was, and Steve hopped that that man would look after her as if she was the last remaining flower in the flower.

Steve needed Y/n to stay happy, and so far, she looked like she was the happiest she has ever been.

Even Dustin looked happy.

And as long as the two of them were happy, he didn’t mind, even if that meant he wasn’t in their lives much anymore.

“Why are you letting her go?” The girl questioned him again. “You love her don’t you?”

And that was the thing, he loves her, he loves her so much that he would let her go and be happy with a man that wasn’t him.

He loves her, so he’s letting her go.

And despite the main cracks that would make in his heart, he knew he would be fine as long as knew Y/n was smiling.

“I do,” Steve whispers. “I love her too much.”

“Then why are you letting her go?”

And Steve just smiles before laying back on his bed, arms crossed under his head as he stares up at his ceiling with glassy eyes.

“Because,” his voice cracks as he speaks, “she’s happy.”

OC SERIES: Before You Go

Writing Rule||Character List||Navigation||Masterlist

#steve harrington #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington imagines #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x y/n #steve harrington fanfic #steve harrington fanfics #steve harrington fics #steve harrington oneshots #steve harrington blurbs #steve harrington blurb #joe keery #joe keery imagine #joe keery imagines #joe keery x reader #stranger things fics #stranger things #stranger things imagines #stranger things imagine #blueathensfics #steve harrington x fem!reader #steve harrington x henderson!reader

[fe-sibling-duo-tournament]

I LIVE BITCHES

HEY GUYS GUESS WHO GOT SICK (not Covid, just regular upper respiratory problem) AND ENDED UP TAKING A HIATUS THAT WAS LONGER THAN A WEEK

:D

Anyway, Winners Round 2 will start tomorrow! I'm still sick but I can actually do things now

#fe sibling duo tournament #fire emblem #polls

[hydrangeyes]

Valentines day scenarios

So if you don't know, Yes this already existed, my old account was deleted (accident but I can tell I won't be getting it back), and am reposting my old x male reader works!

I don't know if I saved all of them but here is one that was saved to my AO3 account.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Edit Nov.8.2023: I forgot just how much I was into Bnha/Mha, Like going through google docs I had 130 + fic ideas listed out (Like HUH???)

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Aizawa:

“Mh.”

“Mhm.”

(You both stayed in bed and then later Aizawa surprised you with cooking dinner AND washing the dishes. You absolutely dick him down afterwards)

________

Hizashi:

Okay pretend covid didn’t happen-

“Hiza guess what I have~”

“Hm?~”

“2 tickets to [insert shared fav band], they’re playing tonight!~”

“Y/N!! So did I!!!”

The both of you hunt for a double date (only to kinda ditch them later) and are absolutely loud gremlins during the whole road trip and show.

(Rough outdoor sex abit away from the crowds??? Thrusts matching the beat and you both laugh about that later)

_________

Hawks:

“I’m pampering you today.”

“W-wha? Y/n shouldn’t it be-”

“No. Shut up. First order is cuddles and massaging your wings.”

“O-oh okay 😳”

(Your spoiling him rotten. If he has to work, watch you call them up and say get bent before hanging up. Today you have the excuse to finally wreck hawks with absolute care and fluff)

__________

Toshinori:

“Ah~ this onsen is the best~”

“It issss~ we can order whatever after even.”

“Really!? 🥺”

“Mhm, I um, asked them to make something special just for you 👉👈”

(Idk why writing him is so hard)

__________

Tomura:

“Today’s Valentines day right?”

“Uh huh, yeah it is.”

“And your working.”

“Um I didn’t think you cared for holidays to be honest…”

“…..”

“….”

“Any day that you can fully give all your attention to me is one we are celebrating.”

“Heh okay- Woah!”

“I’m not getting off your lap until you call your shitty boss and tell him you’re off today- no. The rest of the week”

(I love the thought that tomura demands your attention/is bratty once he knows without a doubt you’re actually dating.)

_____________

Dabi:

“….”

“No.”

“Oh come on dabi!”

“No. Nope. Fuck that.”

“Atleast accept the chocolate I made?”

“….you..made me chocolate?”

“Of course! I was thinking of buying you alot of presents and flowers but I think you’d like me making you something more”

“….hand them over.”

____________

Gang orca:

It’s just horny all day sorry. Telling me if he was off this day and maybe doesn’t have work the next he wouldn’t spend it absolutely wrecking y/n? Like in a sexy way or non sexy? Pls.

Out of any character besides the obvious ones I feel like he’s eating any type of treat that he can off of you. Round 5? Break time, cuddle bath bubbles, champagne or wine, oil massages at home horny “I love you and miss you and need you” sex. The day ends with you both exhausted because fuck all else you wrecked him too.

——–

Denki:

I’m a simp. I’m sorry I love him so much. Anyway

“Babe, babe wake up.”

“Hm?”

“You have the hardest morning wood right now and I want to lick chocolate off if it.”

———–

Brain starting to crash so this is all I got for now lol

#male reader #x male reader #Bhna x male reader

[gainerbf]

The One Part V

CW: WG, FFA/BHM Relationship, Feedism, Male Feedee, Female Feedee

June 1st, 2020

The Pandemic Break

Covid. It has changed the world. I actually hate writing this part of the story because of ptsd. I despise the year 2020. I hate covid-19 more than I hate anything. This stupid disease robbed us of more than we’ll ever know. The most important thing that was taken from us? Time.

Time had been taken from Eddie and Sydney. Due to the pandemic, they were forced to stay apart for the 1st 3 months of the pandemic. Even worse, Sydney’s camera on her phone was broken and Eddie didn’t have any way to video chat so they could only voice chat on discord or talk on the phone. Sydney was worried 24/7.

Sydney: Are you eating enough?

Eddie: Yes babe.

Sydney: Are you sure? Do you need some money for food?

Eddie: No babe.

Sydney: What if I called over a pizz-

Eddie: Syd…stop. I’m eatimg more than enough.

Sydney: but but but…

Eddie: 8 eggs, a pack of bacon, 3 cinnamon rolls, 2 glasses of whole milk and a bowl of cereal…that was just breakfast babe. Don’t worry. I’m eating.

Sydney was relieved but felt useless. She wanted to feed her man. He was close to 300 pounds but Eddie wanted to tease her by not telling her how much he weighed.

Eddie: We’ll weigh in when I see you

He would reassure her.

Eddie: You might faint when you see me…

He would tease her.

Sydney: This stupid pandemic, I miss you so much Eddie.

Eddie: I miss you too Syd. Not much longer now. Looks like next week we’ll be able to meet up and finally hang out.

Sydney: Thank GOD

The week past and things started to open up on a moderate level. Enough to where Sydney and eddie could go and have a picnic.

Sydney arrived about 20 minutes early to set everything up in a nice secluded spot. She brought Eddie’s favorite lunch. A big foot long sub with all the fixins. An apple pie. Some ice cold lemonade and some chocolate covered strawberries. She was finishing up when she heard his voice.

Eddie: Well aint she the most beautiful flower in the field today

Sydney went red and turned around…

Then Sydney got light headed and fell to her knees. Her jaw hit the floor.

Eddie was big. Really big. Like well over 300 pounds big. His belly was peeking out the bottom of his shirt. His legs were definitely too big for his maxed out shorts. He grew a beard but you could see how round his face had gotten…he was even eating a candy bar as he approached.

Eddie: Well…give me a kiss baby girl.

Sydney jumped into his arms and they fell into the grass. She landed in a pool of fat and wanted to swim forever. They kissed for a long time. It was well overdue.

Sydney: You uhhh…

Eddie: I know. I’m really fat.

Sydney: It’s so hot I might explode.

Eddie: I don’t know why but ever since I met you it’s like my metabolism tanked and I couldn’t stop getting fatter.

Sydney, smirking: I have magical powers 😌 these hands are made for stuffing cute fat boys

She pinched his big lower belly.

Sydney: Well. Hope you brought your appetite. I prepared a big spread for you.

Eddie: Thank god, I’m starving

They sat and ate and enjoyed eachothers company. Yet, Sydney just needed to know. She wanted to know just how big Eddie really was.

Sydney: So..

Eddie: So?

Sydney: How much?

Eddie: How much what?

Sydney: How much weight did you gain? You were 280 last time I saw you. What’s the new number?

Eddie laughed for a second then got a little flustered.

Eddie: Oh my god 280? Yikes babe I kinda ballooned

Sydney was getting very hot and bothered now

Eddie: How about I give you 3 guesses

Sydney: 400

Eddie: Oh my god babe I’m not that big what the fuck 😂

Sydney: Ok maybe some other time. Hmmmmmmmmm. 310?

Eddie: Higher.

Sydney let out an unholy noise when he said that

Sydney: 320?

Eddie: 314

Sydney stood up and walked to a nearby bench. Eddie was confused. He got up and sat next to her…which wasn’t a great idea this bench was STRUGGLING.

Eddie: What’s the matter baby?

Sydney: Are you ok with being that big? I feel kind of guilty Eddie. You met me and put on over 110 pounds in a year and a half. What if that wasn’t what you wanted? What if.

Eddie: Stop.

Eddie halted her right then and there.

Eddie: Sydney. Meeting you was the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I don’t mind being this big, not fitting into booths, breaking furniture, outgrowing clothes as long as you love me. If you do, then I’m ok with it. You’re all I care about. If you like me big, then I’ll be HUGE for you

He kissed her on the cheek and cradled her head into his huge soft chest.

Eddie: Now, lets get ba-

Before he could finish the bench broke and down they went. They both sat up and broke out laughing.

Eddie, current weight: 314

Hope you all enjoyed this! I’d love to put out something like this every week but who knows if I can be that creative consistently 😅

#gainer diaries #the one

[moistvonlipwig]

so i grew up in los angeles (and then lived there again for almost 2 years during covid) and i would be so interested to hear you discuss your experience of it! it is unique place, hard to describe. plenty of good things but "vampiric" is also extraordinarily accurate, i think. personally i will never go back. (living there, not visits!) you come off as very intelligent and intuitive and have such a way with words

haha thank you (i say 5 months later)...so i guess the important thing to keep in mind wrt my experience of los angeles is that i'm from boston and i didn't really...want to move here lol? i'm not gonna get into Why i moved here (and why i probably won't move away unless i get an amazing job/school opportunity somewhere else) but it wasn't a decision i made for my own happiness let us just say. so that obviously influences how i feel about it.

but broadly i guess my experience of los angeles has been:

awful public transport. just dreadful. i mean no transit system is perfect, growing up i felt that the T certainly sucked in many ways, but looking back on it now i'm like wow the T was so good i miss the T!!! because the LA metro is just not good. the bus system (which is what i mainly rely on) is heavily under-scheduled and the rail system operates within such a limited area that it takes forever to get anywhere. i don't have a car and likely never will -- i know how to drive but frankly it terrifies me and i'd rather invest in learning how to get by with public transit, biking, and walking. but LA is very much built for cars. this is one of the aspects i would call vampiric honestly. the car culture of LA sucks the lifeblood out of the other elements of the city. highways dominate the land like parasites. if you don't have a car, you will be bled dry either by the time sink that is the bus system or the costs of ordering frequent ubers.

food really depends on where you are. yes DTLA has lots of great food but the surrounding valleys can be hit-or-miss. in particular it is hard to find good mexican food. when crazy ex-girlfriend's rebecca bunch said that she felt gaslit by a mexican restaurant in the san gabriel valley she wasn't lying. i'm not even talking about 'authenticity' which i think is a really charged & complex topic when it comes to food. i love me some good americanized mexican food like tex-mex or my beloved new mexican cuisine. but cali-mex is just. not good. (cali-mex gothic: everything is covered in Red Sauce. what is Red Sauce? no one knows. can i get this enchilada without Red Sauce? sure, says the waiter. your enchilada arrives. it is slathered in Red Sauce.)

the weather is also kind of hard on me. like to be fair it is convenient to be able to wear shorts year-round and not have to constantly check the weather to see how much i should bundle up. but the lack of seasons kind of makes it seem like time has no meaning. (i'm sure this isn't helped by the fact that i moved here less than a year before the pandemic started which also had a time-distorting effect.) also the summers get SO HOT, like 90 degrees fahrenheit/32 degrees celsius every damn day. and yes it is much less humid than boston thank god. but it's also not exactly a dry heat? like i've spent weeks in northern new mexico in the summer and it is MUCH cooler there with the elevated altitude + actually dry heat. whereas in los angeles it is sea level and it can actually get quite muggy. in the dead of summer it also doesn't really cool off at night because everything is paved over with asphalt which just absorbs the heat during the day. it's may right now as i'm posting this and the weather is actually still pretty nice but i'm dreading june. also the leaves don't really change color in the fall, at least not on the same scale they do in new england, which is so sad because autumn leaves are so pretty. :(

anyway, because the weather never significantly changes, los angeles almost takes on a kind of artificial quality in my eyes? it doesn't quite seem like a real place. and then this isn't helped by the aesthetics of the city & the flora. there are a lot of non-native plants that people have planted here existing alongside native plants which creates a very strange picture, and the buildings seem almost peculiarly generic -- neither the wood & brick of new england nor the adobe blending-into-the-desert of the southwestern u.s. it makes the city & surrounding county seem false and sort of shallow, like a tv set i suppose you could say.

another thing i really don't like that took me a while to realize is the lack of cemeteries. in new england there are cemeteries all over. they are nice places to walk & to drive by. in los angeles there are a couple very small ones scattered throughout the county (as well as some bigger hollywood ones) but in general cemeteries are just not as much of a thing and i miss them so bad.

also the music scene is...really different and not my thing. :[ i enjoy all kinds of music but my favorite genre is folk and a lot of my favorite artists would regularly perform in boston or massachusetts but in l.a. you mostly get pop music. there's also less of an emphasis on live theatre which saddens me. growing up in boston i saw nearly every shakespeare play live due to the thriving theatre scene. there IS theatre here of course it's just not as big.

now that being said of course there are things i like...i like the diversity of people and cultures here. i like that there are mountains in the distance as is good and proper. i admit to still getting a minor thrill out of knowing i am right next to major movie/TV studios -- and related to that, as someone who dreamed for a long time of working in TV (though i'm switching gears now for my own peace of mind & wallet), it's nice to be able to meet other people who work or want to work in that industry. i got out to the picket lines a couple times during the writers' strike and it was really fun.

that said i really cannot abide how angelenos will literally complain that it's cold the moment it drops below 80 degrees fahrenheit/26 degrees celsius like come the fuck on bro 😭 that's some buffy the vampire slayer behavior right there

#thanks for sending this back in january if you still read my blog anon ✌️ always love a good excuse to kvetch #the thing with feathers #city of angphlels

[jomiddlemarch]

Thank you, @tortoisesshells for the kind tag! Sorry for the delay in responding-- work conference, Covid recovery, band geek mom triple threat.

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

845. You read that correctly. Several proper drabbles and at least two co-authored fics, including the Mansion House Murder Hotel round robin.

2. What's your total A03 words count?

1,453,769. Again, that includes some co-written fic I am not inclined to parse for my exact count.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Mercy Street, Foyle's War, Shadow and Bone, Poldark, A Discovery of Witches, Anne of Green Gables, Little Women, The Last of Us, GLOW, Downton Abbey, Frozen, James Bond, Star Wars, The Hour, Ted Lasso, Sanditon, Dune, Leap/Ballerina, Brooklyn 99, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, Gilmore Girls, Far From The Madding Crowd, Emma, Betsy-Tacy, and a few others.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

"what it is to be a thin crescent moon" (SAB), "A Wife--at daybreak I shall be" (AOGG), "Point and Click" (SAB, modern AU), "Bear with the truths I would tell you now," (Emma), "The subtlest fold of the heart" (AOGG)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do. At a bare minimum, I try to thank the commenter for taking the time to read. In the halcyon days of Mercy Street, I wrote long, discursive essay-comments because that was our vibe. I am not always prompt, but I do try to get back to people, though sometimes if the comment is very thoughtful, it takes me a while because I want to give an equivalent response.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Probably "Because I could not stop for Death," a Mercy Street fic where I wrote vignettes where I killed someone in each of the 18 installments, though I did end the whole thing killing the agreed-upon most loathsome character. I don't tend to write fics with angsty endings, though I don't mind writing it midway.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

This is tough, because I mostly write HEA. I'm going to pick a relatively deep cut and say "Always a Bridesmaid," the Mercy Street modern au rom-com, since the whole thing is a fairly giddy romp.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

A little. I've received 1-2 negative comments on AO3 and once wrote a gift-fic for someone in the Reylo fandom and got attacked on what was then Twitter and Tumblr by fans of the writer I was gifting, even though I had offered to the writer to take the story down. I now only write gift-fic for people I have some relationship with.

9. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Yes. It's full of consent, sometimes awkward (who else has written crappy postpartum sex on Tumblr? I may be the cheese standing alone on that one) and almost never results in an unplanned pregnancy as a plot device. I most write cis-het and strenuously avoid using any term for a penis that isn't dick or cock. No straining members (sounds like a bunch of constipated middle management.)

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

OMG, yes! I love crossovers, so this is tough to answer. I'll go with a more recent one, "the better part of valor," Mercy Street/The Last of Us, though I have also used Sesame Street as an AU frame for Mercy Street characters.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of! (Ditto to @tortoisesshells)

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Maybe 1? I don't get a lot of offers and feel a bit proprietary, since I can't read it to see how well it's translated.

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

You betcha! Shout-out to the Mansion House Murder Party and "We run a very tight ship" the Cruise Ship crack-fest that @fericita-s and @sagiow and I boarded during a phase of the lockdown.

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

I guess I'd have to say Mary Phinney/Jed Foster based on the number of fanfics I've written for them, but I don't really play favorites. I have a real fondness for every pairing I write, including the ones with the OC characters I write for @tessa-quayle.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

Maybe this will change the course of history, but "what it means to be a thin crescent moon" is sort of hanging out there. I have some ideas for how to wrap it up but need the time and the mojo, which is harder to come by. I'd also like to get back to my zombie road-trip GLOW AU "Music shall untune the sky" but it's tough because that would be purely for me at this point.

16. What are your writing strengths?

(I hope) Witty banter. Strong female characters who have flaws. Description with plenty of sensory details. Use of quotations, math, and chess gambits :) A pithy drabble.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I find plot the least interesting component of writing fanfic and I think it shows. I love to read long-fic, but I struggle to sustain it. The words "so" and "just."

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I mostly stick to endearments or short phrases. I'm not fluent in any other language and no one needs to discover the various ways Google Translate has let me down.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Mercy Street. I started writing late at night after a work conference, literally drifting in and out of consciousness to lower my inhibitions enough to get started. It was a fic related to a WIP I loved and had written to the author about, so it was very relational.

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

What is this, Sophie's Choice? I can't pick a favorite. I'll say I look back with great fondness on my Little Women/Mercy Street crossover "What thou and I did, till we loved," which features Marmee and the Star Trek Kobiyashi Maru Mercy Street crossover "It had the virtue of never having been tried," because like I said, I do love a crossover! Honestly, when there are over 800 fic, I'll admit to have forgotten I'd written some of these :)

Tagging: @asteraceae-blue @orlissa @vesperass-anuna @oldshrewsburyian, @ladamedusoif @trulybettyand anyone else who wants to take this out for a spin!

#my fic #I should also point out #in the world of crack-fic crossover AU #I have crossed over Shadow and Bone #with the Great British Bake-Off #Noel Fielding and Aleksander Morozova have a chat

[kosher-martian]

I put the "plague" in "Plagueis the Wise".

I'm stuck at home with covid and absolutely miserable.

This is the second time I've had muh-muh-my corona. My (then) boss gave it to me the first time. I got a paxlovid script and felt better after a week. This time I got it from... somewhere (it's making rounds at work), I was denied a paxlovid script on the grounds that I'm "too young". Every day I've felt worse and worse.

Right now I'm battling the coughing, the wheezing, the shortness of breath and on top of that this strange sensation that's a lot like wearing a pair of grade school science class goggles that are waaaaay too tight. My face hurts and I feel queasy despite not being sick at my stomach, if that somehow makes any sense?

But enough about me, let's talk Star Wars!

I've been watching The Bad Batch recently and I love it! I'm close to the end of Season 2. It is a concentrated dose of that... unnameable special something the '08 Clone Wars exudes sometimes. I've also been watching the Prequels and the '03 Clone Wars. It's weird seeing pre-2008 Prequel media and how different the vibes really were. Go and watch the two Clone Wars shows back to back and tell me the vibe wasn't completely different pre-2008. The '08 Clone Wars is wonderful, don't get me wrong, but it very much changed the conversation and the way we think about and discuss that era (both in-universe and out-of-universe) of Star Wars.

I guess the word I would use is "sobering"? Pre-2008 Prequel media was all about the righteousness of the war, the unquestionable moral highground of the Jedi, and (most importantly) pew pew get those droids! Post 2008 there's this somber reckoning with the tragedy of war, the moral decay and dogmatism and degeneration at the heart of the Jedi Order, and (most importantly) oh god that wasn't a Separatist stronghold that was an orphanage for orphaned orphans what have I done!?!

If you have Disney+ or the DVDs or enjoy - ahem - sailing, I strongly suggest you check out the '03 Clone Wars show. If you weren't born yet, were too young, or just never watched it when it was on Cartoon Network (or whatever channel it was on outside the USA) it will be a complete 180 from what you are used to. If you grew up with it and haven't watched it in a while, I invite you to re-watch it and feel the revertigo (aka associative regression) overwhelm your senses. It's not nostalgia, it's stronger than that. You will be reduced to your 2003/2004/2005 self and either you will be horrified or delighted. It's the closest to time travel you can get.

#star wars #the clone wars #clone wars #clone wars 2003 #the bad batch #covid #covid 19 #coronavirus #covid rant

[aconfusedasian]

new year, new (but same) me?

entering into this year, something within me felt different. when reflecting upon the hectic, travel-filled year I had last year, it almost feels like I don't recognize that person - that's how different my energy is now. I'm not one to put a lot of stock into the significance of New Years as a marker, but given that 2 months has passed and my brain still hasn't reverted, I'm taking a cautious approach with my outlook for the near future.

suffice it to say, I've felt an extreme level of detachment and disengagement from life. since COVID hit, I've lost (and have yet to regain) my passion for my hobbies, and even dropped out of grad school. I had hoped that having school off my plate would give me room to discover myself and what I want to do with my life, but it's now 2024 and I somehow feel even more adrift than ever.

it's hard to articulate what exactly feels different now. I feel more focused and maybe like I'm coming out of a fog, but there is still an acute sadness, and a fear that I'm slowly destroying myself with no vision of who I want to be or where I want to go.

I'll probably write a separate post for each of these topics, but I guess this will help me organize the jumble of thoughts in my head:

uncovering a suppressed memory from right after my dad's suicide that l realized likely has deeper implications than I thought

for the first time, in my 30s, developing feelings and attraction for someone else, and trying to navigate what that means

uncertainty of what keeps me here - if I got laid off, I'd probably pack up and leave. but is the job I have now worth staying for even if I survive yet another round of tech layoffs?

the pursuit of dual citizenship and taking steps toward improving my connection with my roots. when the future feels uncertain, I look to the past - for better or worse.

the path toward self (re)discovery - to continue with my hobbies or try new ones?

hello to anyone who's still here. these days, I've pulled back from people around me and my friends because I feel like I don't have anything to say, but maybe whoever is reading this will get something out of this. thanks for reading.