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elizabethvaughns · 3 years

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so i've been mulling over this for quite a bit now, so i might as well articulate my thoughts and get them out onto this blog. so i was just thinking: subjectively or objectively, which one is better? the if/then dc preview or the broadway production? long post (1750+ words), so i'm putting a read more break <3

now, objectively at the very least, i know i have to say it's the broadway production. why wouldn't it be? it's a lot more polished, it's...the final draft, of sorts, of the production. we all know the final draft is usually better than the rough draft. but here's the thing. when it comes to an artwork that has several different versions, one tends to gravitate toward the version they saw first and have a certain bias against all the other versions. if you saw the bway version first or the dc version first, you probably like that one more. now i'm not saying this bias is conscious by any means. absolutely not. however, when one falls in love with some media, in my case at least, they take it in over and over and over again. and then they get so used to that one thing that all other versions seem weird. i can pinpoint two non-if/then instances in my life where such a thing happened.

in the summer of 2018, i watched the RENT movie on netflix. now i was fully intending to listen to the obc soundtrack before watching the movie, but i never really got to it. anyways, that movie was like love at first...watch to me. oh man, i loved it so, so much. so i downloaded the soundtrack on my phone and, you guessed it, listened to it over and over and over and over again. one fine day, (about a few weeks after, actually) i realized i never actually had listened to the obc soundtrack. so i did. and it sounded...odd to say the very least. i mean, some of the voices were different, sometimes the lines were changed, all in all, a confusing experience. to say the least, if you asked me back then which version i preferred, i would've readily said the movie version. but now, three years in retrospect, i'm not so sure. the obc version is a lot more...complete, i like the vocals more, and i'm now salty that "christmas bells" as a song was cut. evidently, i like the obc version more(but i still love the movie version hell it's still one of my comfort movies).

in the fall of 2019, i listened to falsettos. i actually listened to both the obc and the 2016 revival cast recordings. i guess that lessened the bias a bit because i was exposed to both versions at about the same time. on the fateful date of 2 october 2019, i watched the falsettos revival proshot. that's when i truly fell in love with this musical. but, even so, my initial exposure was to both recordings so even though i had a slight bias toward the 2016 version, i still loved both of them.

now, back to if/then. i actually find it difficult to pinpoint where exactly my exposure to if/then started. was it the very first time i heard about it in 2018 when i read a very meta RENT fanfic on ff.net where elizabeth made an appearance and i thought "what the fuck"(pun very much intended)"is if/then" (psst if you find the fic could you please drop the link in the replies meta fic isn't really my shit but i want to reread it for nostalgia's sake)? or was it the very first time i listened to the obc recording in 2020? or was it the boot of a broadway production that i first saw on 13 march 2021? whichever one i pick, they all lead to the same conclusion: i naturally gravitated(and sometimes still do) toward the broadway production because it was the first version of if/then that i was exposed to.

now sometime in early april 2021 over my spring break, i watched a recording of the dc production. i knew beforehand that this production is a preview, after which some changes had been made, resulting in the broadway show. since those changes were obviously made to better the production, it would be a logical conclusion that the very presence of those changes entailed a...worse production (not considering the fact that the interpretation and the very liking of art is entirely subjective). one could say i entered the watching experience with an unconscious bias, of sorts.

from the very first note, i was caught off-guard. i didn't know they changed this much. when i watched the bway production, i was just enjoying it for all it was worth. but when i was watching the dc preview, i was comparing it constantly to its broadway counterpart. oh, david's shirt colour is different here. oh, anne's wearing a pantsuit instead of a dress(cute). oh, time for hey kid! oh wait no they put "the moment explodes" right here. also, i was just humming along to the songs, just mouthing along the lyrics(because i have them all memorized), and every now and then and getting thrown way off-track when the tune remained the same but the lyrics changed. most notably, in "walking by a wedding" and "you learn to live without". all in all, i had what one could consider negative opinions about the dc production because of that bias.

but then i watched it second time. a third time. a fourth, fifth, sixth time. and over that time, i fell more and more in love with that production. as i've said before, the interpretation of art is wholly subjective–what one may consider a shortcoming of a particular piece, another may consider a strength. let me take the placement of "the moment explodes", for example. in the dc production, it's before "some other me". therefore, the line "every friend i ever knew or thought i did" doesn't hit as hard because we don't know her situation with lucas yet. even so, "some other me" hits twice as hard because lucas is an even bigger asshole now. in comparison, however, "the moment explodes" is after "some other me" in bway as you all know. so the aforementioned line holds a much greater significance when compared to its dc counterpart. however, one could also consider that line (in the dc production) as a sort of foreshadowing for the reveal in "some other me" of the new normal of beth and lucas's friendship (or the lack thereof).

obviously, some changes were most definitely welcome, "this day" to be more specific. of course, there was that little reprising of "what if?" near the end of "this day" in the dc production which i really loved, but all in all, the mood of "this day" was much more fun and enthusiastic in bway as opposed to dc, which in my opinion is an excellent way to start an act. in contrast, some changes were...not as welcome. i don't know about you, but personally, i really enjoyed two cut scenes from "the story of jane"("no more wasted time" dc version). first, the scene where kate brings her kindergarteners to beth. it was fun to see higgs squirm. second, the scene where elena and beth's interaction parallels beth and stephen's in "map of new york". narrative-wise, i think that it is an incredibly important scene as we get to see two sort of boss-employee relationships mirrored to each other, only beth does it well as a boss (if that makes any sense). we see beth as passionate but still sort of hesitant in mony but she grows to be more self-assured by nmwt, and i think the aforementioned scene only cements that notion as beth takes on the role of mentor for elena. also, "the story of jane" was a really fun song and, as much as i love "no more wasted time", i wish it still contained elements of "story of jane". and while i did enjoy the reshuffling of "the moment explodes" such that it became clear when beth and lucas made up in the bway production, they were ultimately still...not talking during "you learn to live without. as a result, we miss that one scene from the dc production where lucas and kate attend beth's awards ceremony and shoo stephen. and need i talk about the lucas/david duet verse("you get that we're connected, / i feel like you get me") in "ain't no man manhattan"? honestly, i feel like dc anmm was, all in all, better than bway anmm–especially that one verse where lucas sings to this other dude about how everyone is connected(no, not the one to stephen, the one after that. the one that ends with "[something something] / who you helped get elected").

also the situations with stephen and with kate/anne in both timelines were relatively clearer in the dc production. even so, the actual distinguishing of the timelines was better in the bway production.

in conclusion, the relative merit of each production(broadway vs. dc) is really up to the interpretation of each viewer. scenes that may seem weak to one may be considered narratively important to another. both productions have their own merits and flaws.

to me, both productions are equally good. my previous assertion/assumption that the final draft is always better than the first is not necessarily true. some things that you think were actually pretty good get lost in the editing process. some other things that should've been cut (ahem ahem, kate's referrals to lucas with "she", ahem ahem, liz's "i don't believe in independents like i don't believe in bisexuals. pick a side" line) get left in there. art is subjective. the editing process is subjective. in the end, though, the only thing that matters is that you enjoy what you're watching and find personal fulfillment in it. and i do! for both of these productions. for both of the productions, i'm smiling all the way up to "here i go". i'm slightly saddened during "you don't need to love me". i'm empowered by "the story of jane"/"no more wasted time". i'm grinning in liz-verse all the way up to "i hate you". i feel like sobbing during "some other me". my throat clogs up when "i hate you" starts. i'm actually sobbing by the time "you learn to live without" ends.

...you get the gist of it. all in all, both of these productions are phenomenal and i'm grateful for their existence and to have been able to watch them in the year of our lord 2021.

i love this show so much i swear.

i talk a bit more comparing broadway and dc here.

my other ramblings essays:

if/then appreciation

"what if?" vs. "what if?(reprise)"

character analysis of lucas

#if/then #broadway vs dc production comparison

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aloera · 3 years

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The ask prompt is too long to fit into an ask TT_TT but here's the doc for it docs(.)google(.)com/document/d/1yDI7iFRhOJ8ENv_IwZAo3rDSUqj80EiJROS10RzRbj4/edit

the lengths u are going for this,,, much appreciated you're very sweet!!!

prompts + answers under the cut!!

INTRODUCTION

Name: aloera

AO3 account: aloera

Fandoms you write for: bnha

How many stories have you written so far: 19

FANFICTION PROFILE

What's your favorite fandom to write for? hmm,,, used to do pjo and eah (ever after high) and eah was fun as fuck i will say!!! i think bnha is my fav mostly bc i made the most friends in this fandom :D

What's your favorite character/person to write for? bkg and kirishima!! cannot choose do not make me <3

Fic you'd want to improve? probably what we deserve? i rushed the beginning and the confession is a bit stilted imo

Hardest fic you've written? between lion and men -_- bc there is so much canon compliant stuff i've gotta write out before i get to the divergence and its HARD

Easiest fic you've written? come home to me!!! it happened so easily,,, no second guessing no writers block just vibes <33 was lovely i miss it

What would you say is the most "famous" fic you've ever written? also probably come home to me? its got the most interaction

first line of the first fic you've ever written and published. [not including my 2014 ffnet fics] "The bell rings, class starts, and Katsuki and Midoriya are inexplicably absent." from come home to me

Have you ever done a collab with another writer? yes!!!!! on two separate occasions and its so fucking fun i highly recommend trying it out its the best

Do you beta? if asked but honestly im a shit beta lmao

Do you like joining fic fests/exchanges? depends on what i have going on irl but in general yeah!!

FANFICTION PREFERENCES

Fluff or angst? definitely fluff

"OCs" or "Reader" inserts? reader inserts!! have been going ham on them recently

Blurbs or drabbles? blurbs!!

One thing you love about fanfiction i just. i really love slice of life romance?? and most media doesn't give you that bc its dedicated to plot and action and that's valid!! but fanfiction fills in the gap which is really nice

One thing you don't like about fanfiction most of the stuff i don't like is less about actual fanfiction and more about how people behave about it

What is/are your favorite fandom author/authors? IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS ONE!!! TURN IT UP!!!

bnha: hiuythn, rae_tnub, Moniix, Ata_Lanta, wrunic, chezka, PurplePersnickety, surveycorpsejean, mahadevi, arxaris, deviance, Oceanbreeze7, MikeWritesThings, bonnia, wonhaebunny, dinosuns

voltron: hiuythn, Oceanbreeze7, DeerstalkerDeathFrisbee, arahir, dinosuns,

and honorable mention to loveclouds im not even in the haikyuu fandom i just love their fics So Much

these are just the ones off the top of my head i have so many favourites idc if i'm only supposed 2 have one!! die mad about it!!!

What is your favorite trope? secret relationship + relationship reveal til the day i die babie <3 <3

Least favorite trope? hm,,, probably just like. angst lmao i cannot stand 90% of it

A fanfiction cliché that you can't help but love? coffeeshop aus,,,, so good

Do you have a type when it comes to pairings? the otp where its like. piece of shit + himbo = love. ex. krbk, catradora, jade/beck

Favorite setting/au? hm,,, truly i cannot pick one KGKSJNHKj but i really like college aus!! and modern aus!! and roommate aus!!

Explain the meaning of your favorite line of dialogue you've written as if someone hasn't read it in context. “He doesn’t know,” Katsuki says, softly. “My timer stopped and nothing happened. He’s not mine.”

the line is from what we deserve!! it's a soulmate au where your timer counts down to the moment that you meet your soulmate!! bakugou's timer ends at USJ when he and kirishima attack kurogiri at the same time (impulsive kings <33) but kirishima's timer doesn't end until kamino because that's when he accepts himself as bakugous soulmate!! unfortunately, when bakugous timer has reached 0, he turned to see that kirishima's was still ticking and therefore believes that kirishima isn't his soulmate.

this line just,, idk. it's really sad. bakugou is such an action-driven character? if something doesn't go his way he Makes it go his way. he's got this insanely volatile quirk and he's got impeccable control of it!! but his love for kirishima isn't something that he can change and he's not going to ruin kirishima's chance of finding his own soulmate because he loves him and wants him to be happy. i really wanted to focus on how resigned he is? and how unusual that is for a character like him.

Favorite trope/genre to write? again, secret relationship with relationship reveals <33 fluff in general is my wheelhouse!!!

A trope/genre you haven't written but think would be a fun challenge? idk if this counts?? have been working on some dead dove concepts!! its super different from what i normally write so its a cool challenge

The one trope/concept you'll never touch and why probably cheating/infidelity?? it just looks,,, super difficult to write well and i don't have enough of an interest in it to try it out

Which do you prefer to write: longer or shorter fics? shorter!! low attention span gang <3

Ideal length to read? 5-10k?

Ideal length to write? 4-8k!!

How long was the longest fic you've ever written? control fraek is around 28k i think?

Have you ever written an AU? yeah!! i've done restaurant au's, soulmate au's, pro hero aus, and fantasy aus (general, not the bnha fantasy ending)

What's your favorite AU trope? hm,, probably when two people in authority are in a secret relationship? ceo's/uni professors/etc etc

Have you ever written smut? yeah!! was. difficult tho

What's your comfort genre? (the one you fall on most in writing/reading) fluff,,, hurt/comfort,,, fix-it fics with happy endings <3

If you were to start writing in other fandoms, which would they be? maybe jjk?? the characters are really cool!!!! fr i might go back to my ever after high roots i love the characters and setting so Much its so fun!!! idec if no ones into it anymore!!!!!

Is there a trope you think you could be easily recognized by in your writing? i've had people say they saw the mention of buff hagakure and recognized it was me so. probably that skdjhnksjd

WRITING STYLE

How would you describe your style? i tend to use shorter sentences and pretty simple words i think? and i gravitate towards lighthearted concepts that allow for ensemble casts and humour!!

Describe your style in three words romcom but fanfic

Favorite words to use when writing? the word reverent!! fuckin love including it!!

Dialogue tags or no dialogue tags? (she said, he said, they said, etc) dialogue tags!!!

Favorite dialogue tag (other than said, if you use them) again idk if this counts but "they said softly" is unmatched

Long sentences vs short vs a mix short <33

What colors would you use to describe your writing? hm,,, depends on the fic i would say?? control fraek is dark green to me?? kinda like a forest at night yk?? scary but there's still life there. sugar cookies is yellow like early morning sunlight, when it rains is yellowy-orange like a caution sign. not gonna list all of them cause theres a lot its just. do u get it? the colours change based on the vibe of the fic.

What song or music genre would you use to describe your writing? think. i am constantly trying to emulate that moment at the end of wasteland baby when hozier goes "im in love/im in love with you."

What kind of metaphors do you rely on? religious metaphors my beloved <33 they're just so pretty!!! i also love comparing stuff to water for some reason?? like that ocean vuong quote thats like "what are you now?/water." it goes hard!!!

What's something you'd say is experimental in your writing at this time? definitely action!! i have,,, no idea how to write it so anything i do is really just me playing around and seeing what works and what doesn't

Do you prefer to write by hand or to type? i've tried both!! personally i prefer typing because it goes way faster but i will say that writing by hand lets me get words down when i'm going through writer's block

What is your preferred place to write (notebook, laptop, cellphone, etc.)? laptop!!

What app/apps do you use to write (word, notepad, etc.)? google docs skjdnkjh its fine on desktop but mobile is,,,,, disgusting

Do you keep a notebook or file/notes page in your phone/device for notes on your writing? ngl i just have everything organized in my drive?? one folder per fandom and then sub folders for ideas+hcs, unfinished wips, and finished fics. multichaps get sub sub folders so i can organize outlines and drafts

Do you listen to music to help you write? yeah!! playlists organized by fic vibe :D

Where do you usually go to write (bedroom, living room, etc.)? mostly in my bedroom??? but moving around to different stops helps too i think!!

How long does it usually take for you to write? again this depends on what i have going on irl, how attached i am to the idea, my mindset at the time, etc!! i am,, the least consistent person skjnhdkjh.

What's your favorite font to use when writing? times new roman my beloved

Other writing habits? sometimes i'll write in the dark?? bad for my eyes but for some reason it gets the words flowing

CONCEPTUALIZATION

How do you conceptualize your ideas? (See specific moments like they're a movie, writing specific lines in your head, don't know until you put the words on paper, etc.) i tend to get inspiration from movies, books, poems, or other fics!!! sometimes one line just makes me go oh,, i want to write something like that,,, and then it helps me create an idea that makes me feel the same way?? i did this with control fraek!!!! i wanted a scenario where bakugou was cold and calculating and i was like hm. to do that he’d have to be focusing on something important. and from there i was able to flesh out the rest of the idea.

Which comes first: the pairing or the plot? with krbk its always always the pairing,, i'll be sitting there like wow <33 i love them <33 what if one of them had amnesia <33 (which, yes, wip!!) otherwise it's usually the plot!! and i slot in characters that i feel make sense

Have you ever used a prompt? yeah!! used a prompt for wlw week 2020 and it was fun as hell

Do you write around the story around a specific scene you want to get to or do you start from a plot idea definitely the first!!!! i almost always write like,,, a super messy scene thats 90% dialogue, keep it in my head, and then write the entire fic around that one moment

Do you find that you include a projection of some part of yourself in the way you write a character? a lot of the time when i write love confessions or love in general i'll have one of the characters think or say that the other person makes their head quiet? and it's because that's what i feel whenever i'm in love?? a quiet mind. i project on characters yeah but i think most of the projection actually goes to the way that i write love

Do you research some of the things you write deeply, partially and kind of wing the rest, or play entirely by ear (in this case, go with whatever base knowledge of the subject you have)? most of the time if i do research it'll be about the setting (ex. the izakaya in to have and to hold) or if i'm having the characters interact with an object that they like. need to know how to use (me, in control fraek: google. hey google. does someone die if they get shot in the foot??? no???? awesome thank u <3)

Have you ever had an idea for a story and forgot about it? lmaoo yeah all the time i'll find like 500-2k words of concepts in my gdocs like i do. not remember this at all

Is there a trope you think you could be easily recognized by in your writing? probably krbk secret relationship lmao

Are there concepts you've tried that turned out better than expected? yeah!! i fully thought the action in control fraek would be awful but it turned out not bad??? which im happy with

Are there concepts you've tried that turned out worse than you expected? again, what we deserve, i personally think it would have worked out better if i'd paced it slower and drawn out the pining but i. do not feel like going back to fix it so its staying the way that it is. pining is so fucking hard to do AHHHH i get so tired with it!!! im like just date already!!!!

PROCESS

How do you come up with titles? in rare occasions (literally. all my multichaps for some reason) the title comes after writing like .5 words of the first chapter im like YES this is it!!!!! sometimes i write the whole thing and pick out one line that fits (what i did with come home to me) a lot of the time i just. steal from songs or poems that i like

What's your favorite emotion to cause on your readers? i like making people happy!!!! love when people comment saying they're cheered up

What's your favorite emotion to write? lovelovelovelovelovelove

Have you ever cried or felt any emotion while reading something you've written? never cried?? but sometimes i'll rereading my hurt/comfort fics 4. yk. comfort

Do you write in order or whatever comes to you? in order!! unless i have a scene that i Need to write and i'll quickly jot it down so that i don't forget

Usual way you procrastinate while writing? ...doing asks like this, making playlists, discord, watching netflix. what don't i do smh

Do you outline or free write? i am. so shit at outlines. i mostly free write and write lil notes for stuff that i wanna add later

Do you set word goals or scene goals (scenes you want to include)? yes!! like i said i'll write loose notes for scenes that i want to add later!! it gives me something to write towards :D

What do you consider when writing your scenes? what goes into making the atmosphere and mood you want? to set a scene i do two things? the first is like,, the five senses bc that always sets the scene really well and makes it feel Real. i'll visualize stuff in my head like its a movie and write out what i would want to tell the set designer?? if the lights are low, if the space is busy, if it's supposed to exude comfort or not.

for putting forward the character's mood one thing i've found that makes a difference is sentence length!! long sentences are good for making a character seem flustered and nervous or not really in control of their emotions? good for love confessions. short sentences are good for when the character is focused on something or short on time. good for fights!!

What's something you never considered to include in your writing that you can't leave out now? def buff hagakure,,,, once i thought of it i was like. if i don't include this at least once in every single fic how could i look at myself in the mirror!!!!!! how could i face anyone!!!!

How do you start a story? establishing a fact about the character or describing the setting! option a is one single thread of gold, option b is between lion and men

How do you end a story? either by tying it back to the beginning or doing like a funny kind of closing??? option a is sugar cookies, option b is a godless society

How do you get out of writer's block? change something!! move something!! i go from typing to handwriting, moving from my bedroom to my living room, switching wips to work on something else!! i do sprints as well?? give myself like fifteen minutes to write something and sometimes 200 words opens up the way for another 2k. sometimes i'll just delete like 500 words and start fresh

Do you edit? or do you toss your writing out there? i edit!!! i'll go over it myself then send it to one or two betas (bee my beloved <33)

How do you edit? do you use spellcheck, grammar checkers, etc? bee is my grammar checker bc he is So Good with grammar. i use grammarly as well for spellcheck stuff mostly?? sometimes my edit process is just like "am i tired of looking at this!! yes <3" and then i post it

PROGRESS

Do you usually like what you write? yeah!!! i post stuff that makes me happy and that i'm fine with rereading!!! i write stuff for self-indulgence reasons first and foremost and i think my writing reflects that sjhnksj

Have you ever written something you didn't like but posted anyways? nope!! even what we deserve i LIKED even if i see a lot of room 4 improvement!! if i don't like smth it's not getting posted

Do you find yourself rereading your writing often? yeah!! the reason i wrote so much krbk secret relationship is because i loved it but i'd read all that there was so i just,, wrote more,, ngl its kinda nice being in a place where i actually like my writing bc i can write stuff that i want to see and really enjoy it!!

Can you tell us anything about your current WIP? sure!! i'm currently working on when it rains which is a fic where bakugou gets hit by a crying quirk!! i'm gonna be using it to explore So Much of all might's character and his relationships with bakugou and aizawa (and i think some people from his past!!)

Can you give us a sneak peek on your current WIP? “You did something. What the hell did you do?” Kirishima sounds pissed off. It would amuse Katsuki if he wasn’t fighting just to stay standing.

“Nothing he didn’t ask for,” Shinsou replies.

“K’ri… shima,” Katsuki croaks out. “‘S fine. Not him.”

His chest collapses back into the familiar dry heaving after that but Kirishima shuts up. He doesn’t apologize to Shinsou.

Kirishima’s a good friend, stubborn and loyal. He stands by Katsuki’s side like an attack dog, blocking him from the view of anyone ogling at his tears.

The last line you've written Ochako knows more than she'd realized. She knows enough to keep her guard up.

It’s not enough.

Open a wip. what’s the first line?

Katsuki wakes up feeling like absolute fucking shit.

INSIGHT

What's your favorite thing about writing? touched on this before but it's mainly just being able to write the things that i want to see and actually enjoy them!!! actually reread them!!!! i thought "wouldn't it be cool if bkg and kirishima owned a restaurant together" and then i wrote it and i like it enough to reread it!!!! being able to create content for myself makes me. so happy

How do you keep yourself inspired? this is gonna sound narcissistic maybe but honestly i'm just really excited about my ideas and where i'm gonna take them and the idea of "i'm gonna get to That scene" keeps me going through the entire thing. also my friends!!!! i'll talk to them about fics and their reactions keep me hyped up enough to finish!!!!

What is your favorite thing to write? just,, slice of life romance,,, stuff thats silly and makes people laugh!!

What do you think your strengths are in writing? i'm good with dialogue!! i do lil voice acting sessions with myself to make sure everything sounds natural and like it's coming from that character skhjnskj

i'm comfortable with my portrayal of love as well??? i spend a lot of time thinking about what it is exactly that i'm trying to get across and i think it turns out well!!

What are things you wish you could practice more? on one hand i wanna get better at writing angst on the other hand i dislike writing angst. do you see my issue

One way you've improved your writing since you began? characterization!! i think i've gotten better at writing characters that are all Different and bring different things to the table!!! i used to project a lot more and it would compromise the characterization because the character was like 70% me and 30% them? not to say that projection is bad but if you do it too much it just,, doesn't read like the character and from a reader's standpoint the narrative can become less compelling

One aspect of writing you're still working on? writing action!!! i. literally hate writing it but i write for a fandom about superheroes so. Unfortunately i gotta learn.

A piece of writing advice you've learned while writing saw this on another tumblr post but they said sometimes if you're struggling with a scene, the problem is five lines back. i've found that to be true!!!! sometimes u gotta delete a chunk and start a little ways back!! i did this with too busy being yours because i was stuck for Weeks and i deleted like 25% of what i had but it helped me actually finish it :D

A bit of writing advice you can't stand when people shit on show don't tell for being overrated lmao bc when u read their writing you can Tell

Something you wish you knew when you first started writing? ,,,,honestly i kind of wish i could know some of the stuff that i used to when i first started writing?? technically i'm better now but creatively i was must better when i wasn't stressing about whether anyone would like what i was writing. so i guess i wish i knew that i should keep that confidence? i kinda wish that i wasn't as insecure about other people's writing styles because i never used to be!!

Something you've learned in life that you apply in writing there's no point in feeling inferior?? writing one genre isn't better than the other. being in one fandom isn't better than being in another. the kind of language you use or the length of your paragraphs- none of that stuff like. matters. what matters is that you're having fun and happy with what you're creating!!!! enjoy other peoples writing but don't let it make you feel worse about yours :D

#AHH ive wanted to answer these for so long...... bro fr i was so happy when u sent these!!! like wow!! finally got sent one!!!#sorry for how long the responses are idk how to be concise #asks #anon #a(lore)a

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theheroheart · 3 years

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New Years Meme 2020

@arqueete: “This survey is a meme that has been passed around among my friends since back in LJ days. If you want to join in, please consider yourself tagged.”

I used to journal more, and stuff like this is really nice to look back on, because I have terrible memory for life stuff or the passage of time. So here, for future me.

1. What did you do in 2020 that you’d never done before? Uhhhh wear a mask to the grocery store? This was not a groundbreaking year for new experiences.

2. Did you keep your New Years’ resolutions and will you make more for next year? I didn't have any. I don't make any. I mean, sometimes I make them in the vague "I want to focus on this in the future", but I'll already have forgotten by March, like I don't really PLAN my life in such a way. I just have goals that aren't tied to specific points in time. You get there when you get there, and you choose what you want to prioritise.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? No, but my brother got married, which was very exciting because he's 40 and has never had a girlfriend who he considered important enough for me to meet. (And my sister-in-law is delightful.)

4. Did anyone close to you die? My (half-)brother's dad died a few weeks ago (cancer), but I didn't really know him, so I wouldn't say he was close to me. I did spend almost a week at my brother's place to be there for him though. And honestly, I kept thinking about how my mom's dead this year, because in a way I'm glad we didn't have to deal with this year together. She already died from respitory failure, had poor impulse control and sense of safety, and I would've been CONSTANTLY worried about her.

5. What countries did you visit? I was gonna go to Malaysia (for my brother's wedding celebration), but that didn't happen. (Flatmates were gonna go to Japan.) So. Yeah. Home country all the way.

6. What would you like to have in 2021 that you lacked in 2020? A driving force to move forward in my life?

7. What date from 2020 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? I don't think... that there is one specific day? I guess the US election? Despite me being Norwegian, it's still fairly historic.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? /stares blankly at the wall I did do some nice art pieces? I coped? I managed to have good times and make friends despite everything else.

9. What was your biggest failure? I dropped out of two classes specifically because I couldn't do remote learning and self-structured study (BECAUSE ADHD YO), even though it wasn't even that HARD subjects, which was very frustrating. It hasn't set my study plan back, thankfully, but it still felt like a waste.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? Only mental. And thankfully not as bad as it could've been, but hell yeah there was some strong anxiety in there.

11. What was the best thing you bought? I've bought some great video games this year. Animal Crossing brought 250 hours of fun, Hades brought 100 hours so far. Good investments.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? // 13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? Both of these are related to pandemic behavior so I think you can guess.

14. Where did most of your money go? Entertainment? Also, god, I spent so much money on theatre tickets that are now just vouchers for non-specific future performances. I'll get my money's worth eventually, but right now it's hundres of dollars worth just sitting in vouchers. OH, and, digital D&D books.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? I had tickets for Chess. Several tickets, for multiple performances. STILL HAVEN'T SEEN THIS PRODUCTION THOUGH. But they're still doing it so hopefully it will still happen.

16. What song(s) will always remind you of 2020? Not sure I have any specific ones, actually. No iconic music.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: Last year I was feeling very accomplished. I was challenging myself, had befriended lots of classmates, had gotten through some stuff I was quite proud of managing. This year has been... not that. But on the other hand, I'm not as exhausted from school stuff, and I'm ready to actually go places and try to do things, as opposed to just wanting a month long nap.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of? General life maintainance stuff. Not just school work, but like, focus more on money sensibility and try to get on disability, go to the dentist, work with my doctor more... All of that got a little bit just... postponed indefinitely.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of? Uh, can't think of any notable negative behaviour. It's mostly stuff I didn't do. Like, I had some bad anxiety in the spring, but honestly I think I did an appropriate amount of worrying.

20. How will you be spending Christmas? Had my first christmas with my flatmates (whom I love very much), and had my dad over as well. It was very lovely, and socially way less draining than usual.

22. Did you fall in love in 2020? lmao I'm aromantic

23. How many one-night stands? lmao I'm asexual

24. What was your favorite TV program? There were a few this year! Good Omens, The Queen's Gambit, Julie and the Phantoms, Avenue 5. There were more I watched and enjoyed, but I think those stand out the most. Also, does Critical Role count? OH, The Baby Sitters Club! A lot of good stuff.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? Nah. I don't hate a lot of people.

26. What was the best book you read? Don't think I read anything notable this year. Don't read a lot of books, I prefer to consume stories in other media.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery? Julie and the Phantoms. Not because the music is astounding or anything, but it was very feel-good and fun. Don't think I had a lot of new music.

28. What did you want and get? D&D campaigns? Have gotten really invested in one of them in particular, it's delightful.

29. What was your favorite film of this year? Hmmm. The only one that stands out was The Old Guard. I watch more series than films. 2 hours isn't long enough for me to get properly invested AND satisfied.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I turned 33 and I don't know that I did anything special. I think I just chilled? Flatmates made me a nice breakfast!

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Having the energy for essays/exams, probably. Just feeling like I actually had some accomplishments. OR LIKE. If Norway did like New Zealand and just wiped the virus out.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2020? Pyjamas. Occasionally 'apocalypse chic'.

34. What kept you sane? My flatmates and my dad. Reliable social interaction with people I care about.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Matthew McNulty, which applies to every single year. But this year I started both a gallery website and a discord server for him, so it was a particularly good year for him. (Special mention to Paul Spera, who I finally talked to face-to-face, through Zoom, but still.) Also I'm using 'fancy' platonically.

36. What political issue stirred you the most? Ha aha hah all of them, oh god. BLM, probably, though. That was when I still had the energy to get invested.

37. Who did you miss? So many people. Like, come on. I don't know that it was even specific people so much just... being in a group? Like, my choir gang?

38. Who was the best new person you met? Met a guy I ended up playing a LOT of board games with. We haven't really talked in a few months now tho. And there's a friend I didn't MEET this year, but I really connected with, who's also now my DM, which was really nice.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2020: It's not necessarily new knowledge, but this year has really driven home the need for both community solidarity and governmental support/leadership.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year: I'm alone in my apartment, that means I can do anything / I'm not wearing pants (alone in my apartment - Brian David Gilbert)

Summary: It's been a conflicted year, a lot has felt like it's been on stand-still, but there's still been some good things in there.

#real life maybe #2020 #personal

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lewlthea · 4 years

Text

A quick study on Yuri Leclerc.

(Spoilers for DLC content, and trigger warning for discussion of sexual assault).

I once (twice) said that Yuri was a Leon clone for straight girls, since they erased the original characters sexuality to make a copy of him but bissexual, with almost all his romantic interests being women. Now that I have seen almost all his supports and interactions though, I have a different understanding of the character.

I believe Yuri is not only a copy of Leon’s character design but erasing his original sexuality, he also is a character that represents how Intelligent Systems sees LGBT+ men to be.

Compared to all the other characters in the game, Yuri’s story seems to be mongst one of the harshest; Born in poverty, he rose up into noble ranks thanks to his intelligence, deceiving skills and charm, while being the leader of a large underground gang, only for him to fall back into the pit after assassinating priests from the Church of Seiros in a fit of rage, and all of that happened before he even was 18 (During the events of the game, he is already 19 years old). Crude and harsh, while also being charming and a tease, Yuri’s entire character is shrouded in mystery, even to himself, to the point where characters even question if ‘Yuri’ is his real name.

Now, why would that be an issue? Well. This is where we dig our hands into the core issue on the writing of Yuri.

Throughout many times, Yuri discusses how he had to ‘butter up and boot lick’ several nobles, as well as comment how many nobles ‘would fight to have a date with him’; a part of his façade, sure, but it does not mix well with the way he looks when you consider that his character design is a copy of Leon’s, whom is already considered by the franchise as a “pretty boy”, which makes him fall into the ‘flirty LGBT pretty boy’ trope thanks to the care he puts into his makeup as well (one of the lost itens you can find in the main game is his eyeshadow brush), which is very common within media. (Unfortunately, Leon does fall into the trope to a degree as well, but you can still do a case for him not being particularly flirty, only vain).

And sure, this is not a good trope, but it’s also not bad per se- there are several LGBT men who are very flirty. But let’s remember his entire character arc: He’s a deceiver, a criminal, the leader of a gang, a marginalized man from the shadows. When other characters are seen as coming from a life of poverty (Ashe, for example), it’s shown as a dark moment from their past and are perceived as now being ‘reformed’ or ‘in the position to never do such thing again’ (And these characters are, might I add, not canonically LGBT). Such things aren’t possible for Yuri; he’s always going to be in the ‘crime life’, regardless of his social status.

AND CURIOUSLY, Intelligent Systems casually added in his character notes, for some reason, that his mother is a prostitute. This is never brought up at any point in game, and there was no real need to be added.

Sadly, this is not the only possible reference to sex in relation to Yuri.

The text above is a piece of Yuri’s A support conversation with Dorothea. The context behind the support is how Dorothea discovered that Yuri is a talented singer, and wishes for him to sing with her, something that he constantly shoots down. She tries to make out why he feels this way while questioning her own love for singing (A pretty out of character moment for Dorothea, in my opinion.) and in here, she finally finds out why. The second quote from Yuri, while vague, can be read as him being the victim of sexual assault. It is not brought up afterwards in the conversation, or ever in any of his other supports of quotes. It immediately follows into Dorothea going out of character and feeling bad because she doesn’t want to sing anymore, and Yuri being the ‘bigger man’ and telling her that yes, she does likes singing, and she should so. It’s even more aggravating when you remember that Dorothea herself is also a victim of the same subtexts as this moment’s but several more times than Yuri, but in here, her feelings are not important.

Do be reminded that regardless of the victim, sexual assault is appaling and something horrible to be a victim of- but the game does not treat this possibility to Yuri nor let us linger on it. It’s merely one passing comment that never gets addressed nor developed. He is also the only male character in the game to be a potential victim of sexual assault. The bissexual man that likes to wear makeup and is flirty.

(Some fans of his have even begun to say that this is canon evidence that Yuri is a CSA victim and have harassed others over it, despite still being something vague enough to be open for possible discussion).

So, where does this leave us?

I feel like before concluding this text, i should express how I feel about Yuri nowadays. Ever since his character design was first shown (We had known Yuri back before the Jeritza update, thanks to dataminers) I felt ambivalent towards him, especially when considering my gigantic love towards the character of Leon, and ever since them I’ve been nicknaming Yuri “Little Leon”.

In general, I find Yuri’s character nowadays okay, and I might even like him quite a lot.

I like how his crest wasn’t something he owned by birth, but something he was given as a token of gratitude after his mom treated an elderly man back to health while asking for nothing, with the same elderly man not only teaching Yuri how to read and write, but also saving his life from a deathly plague by giving him a blood transfusion with Aubin’s crest embedded onto it, being what motivates Yuri into working to make the world a more equal place. That is another thing I like about his character: His ideals. He works towards making the world more equal and to help others in need just as the old man once did, and his uses his gang and influence to help as many people as he can, whether they are from his birthplace or from Abyss, he puts his heart into protecting all of them. His heart is in a good place - and he is someone who knows what to do or not.

However, he is also a mirror as to how LGBT+ men have always been treated by Intelligent Systems throughout Fire Emblem’s 30 years; Marginalized pretty boys who like to flirt, might live a life of crime and, if bissexual, will have a major preference over women. Niles and Leon send their regards.

#fire emblem #fe3h #Fire Emblem Three Houses #fe yuri #yuri leclerc #WOW this took a while #and by while i mean 2 hours #this is a SHORT essay #Anyway yuri is a monster unit and i like using him very much #also his supports w hapi are godly #stan hapi

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staytheb · 4 years

Text

Gotta Go

Pairing: SF9′s Youngbin x OC [Seul] || TBZ’s Sangyeon x OC [Yeon] Genre: slice of life, slight fluff, slight angst Word Count: 3,482 Summary: Seul and Yeon are both at work, but suddenly have to leave. Although Yeon returns to work and Seul doesn’t. KYB: errands/acting secretary || LSY: report

Warning: um... nothing i guess? lol

well, hello! it’s been a while. got in a mood to write a bit and to distract myself and came up with this. this again is originally another work i had, but re-did it for this. so i combined Seul and Yeon in this bit tying them in a little better compare to separate stories of theirs. other than that, not sure how this will go as i just found an old work and this came about. sorry that it’s not like a full story or anything, but i hope you enjoy it as much as i wrote for it. lol but yeah the title is bleh and i just need to title it with something and just came up with that. well, happy reading and kthxbai, Admin Lia~

Seul sat in-between Inseong and Dawon as the Marketing Department was having one of their quarterly meetings. This was the first meeting that Seul was present for since she started working for NEOZ Group a few months ago.

"Ms. Lee, you sit right here next to me." Youngbin stated as he motioned to the seat left of him for Seul to take.

"To better assist me."

Youngbin cast his personal assistant a friendly smile and Seul nodded with a small smile as she quickly stood while the two males sniggered knowingly at her. Seul slightly hushed them to stop it before making her way towards her boss and sat to his left while glaring at the two males who only cast her playful smiles. Seul cast Youkyung a smile who was sitting to the right of Youngbin, but the female only rolled her eyes before turning away from Seul. Seul brushed her off and got herself situated and glanced up to see that Dawon had purposely chosen to sit across from her with a playful expression.

"Why are you sitting right there?" Seul whispered as Dawon grinned before answering.

"So that I can watch you fall asleep like you've done back in school."

"That's messed up and I've never fallen asleep. I always doodled and pretended like I was paying attention. Thank you very much."

"Now that's messed up."

The duo's conversation was interrupted when Youngbin started the meeting.

"Good morning, everyone." Youngbin greeted the employees as he held a small remote control for the powerpoint presentation.

"For this meeting, we're going to discuss last quarter's activities, the activities for this quarter, and the social media and video advertisements for Mrs. Bages' product launch."

Within ten minutes of the meeting Seul already lost interest and began doodling on the agenda out of boredom to keep herself awake. Of course she listened in on what was being talked about, but for her she retained information better when taking partial notes. A moment later Seul's attention went to a small balled up piece of paper thrown by Dawon. She shot the male a blank look as Dawon signaled for her to open it. She did so and saw that Dawon had written 'you're gonna get caught' and in response she crumpled up the paper again with the male pouting.

Soon enough Seul was snapped back to reality five minutes later when she felt something hit her arm again. She looked towards Dawon who grinned at her while pointing at the papered star he had flicked at her to open it. Seul ignored him and pushed the paper back towards the male as to not wanting to deal with the whole note passing situation if they were caught. Dawon quietly rose from his swivel chair to retrieve the note and once he successfully got it back he had sat down only to crash to the floor with the chair rolling away once he tried to stand back up. All eyes were on Dawon as he silently laughed at his embarrassment and continued to just sit on his knees instead of back onto his chair.

"Is everything alright, Mr. Lee?" Youngbin asked while pausing in mid-speech.

"Ah, yes, I'm fine. Just wanted to test out the rolling chair." Dawon replied nonchalantly as he attempted to do just that.

"I thought you tested that out the first time we held a meeting." Youngbin said in amusement while Dawon coughed to hide his embarrassment again.

"Did I? I don't remember."

"I see. Well, let me finish this up and you can present your data analysis with Yoonho afterwards."

Youngbin continued on with his talk for another few minutes before handing it off to Yoonho and Dawon afterwards. Seul paid attention for a few seconds before realizing that she already knew what it was about as she had helped Dawon and Yoonho prepare this just a few days ago. Seul's attention went back to the paper before her as she continued to doodle various things. Unconsciously her right hand had slipped into her dress' pockets and was surprised when she pulled out a strawberry starburst. She had forgotten that her outfit actually had pockets for once. She happily unwrapped the sweet-tart treat and popped it into her mouth.

"What do you got there, Seul?"

"Nothing for you."

"That's not nice."

"Yeah, well, you should probaby shut up as we're in a meeting."

Seul wasn't aware that she was casually speaking with Youngbin as she was more focused on her candy.

"Really? Anwyays, are you going to share, Seul?"

The same male voice asked her and she automatically responded with something she would say to her sister upon hearing her name like always still not aware of the sitaution.

"Not with you."

Before realizing that it wasn't Yeon, but her boss that had asked that question. She hastily looked over at Youngbin with a sheepish look.

"Ah, sorry about that, Mr. Kim. I didn't mean to be so frank with you. My apologies. Um, but here you go, sir."

Seul whispered in embarrassment as she slid a lemon starburst towards the male while thinking why he had called her so casually within the work setting and of their different ranks. Youngbin chuckled softly as he took the item hiding the fact that he enjoyed the reaction he got out of his personal assistant.

"It's okay, Ms. Lee."

Seul just nodded although she just realized that he had addressed her properly this time. She didn't have much time to think about it until she noticed a small piece of crumpled paper coming into her view. Seul raised a brow wondering who it could be until she noticed that Inseong was looking at her expectantly. She realized it was him as he shot her a knowing look. Seul rolled her eyes, but actually went to read it since Inseong wasn't anything like Dawon. That was until she read the content and knew that he was just like him as Inseong had written if she liked their boss or not. Seul shook her head as a response, but Inseong didn't believe her. She didn't care if he did or not.

Once the meeting was over, Seul returned to her desk tired and hungry as she felt drained for some odd reason. It wasn't even lunch time yet. She tiredly placed her head on top of the files of her desk while her desk phone machine was flashing red indicating she already had a voicemail to respond back to. Seul sighed as she closed her eyes to recuperate before going back into work mode. It didn't last long as her short break was disrupted when she heard a file or two slapped against her desk. Seul lifted her head to come face to face with a gleeful looking Dawon. She did not like the look on his face.

"Yes, Dawon?"

"So, you and the b-"

Seul interrupted him.

"There's nothing going on between us."

"Oh, c'mon, don't lie."

"I'm not. Seriously. There's nothing going on between us."

Dawon was gonna tease Seul some more, but she glared at him.

"Don't you have some other work to finish?"

"Well, yes, I do."

"Then why are you standing there?"

"To bother you like always."

"Gosh you're so annoying."

"I know, but anyways, you an-"

Seul shot him a dark look.

"You should probably shut up."

"And if I don't?"

Dawon grinned at her mischievously.

"hen I'ma beat you up."

Dawon backed off from the subject.

"Okay, whoa, whoa. Calm down. Usually that's Yeon's line, but alright."

Seul rolled her eyes.

"Because you talk too much and like bothering people for the fun of it."

"You right."

He chuckled.

"Anyways," Dawon changed the subject, "I need to discuss with you about what cake to get Hwiyoung for his birthday coming up soon."

"Why do you need to discuss that with me?"

"I wanna get everyone's opinions and help on it."

"You don't need my help. You can do that by yourself."

"I could, but I remember that you used to bake, right?"

"Not really."

"But don't you make cookies for Jangmi?"

The phone on Seul's desk rang and she ignored Dawon to answer the call.

"Hello, this is Seul Lee of the Marketing Department of NEOZ Group."

Seul reached for a pen and paper as she took down the caller's message and Dawon reluctantly returned to his desk. For a good hour and a half Seul had been constantly talking on the phone with clients about business ordeals that she hadn't realized her own phone going off as it was muted, but set to vibrate mode. Seul also hadn't paid attention to the beeps that sounded when she was speaking with the clients indicating that another caller was trying to reach her. So when she heard her name called by her sister while in mid-talk with another client she was confused.

"Yeon?"

"Yo, we gotta go." Yeon told her as she came up to her desk almost out of breath.

The others in the office watched the interaction between the sisters.

"What do you mean we gotta go?"

"It's Mom."

Seul made an annoyed face.

"So? What about her?"

Yeon's face turned serious. This caught Seul's attention.

"Yeon. What about Mom?"

Yeon stayed silent, but Seul noticed how her sister's eyes glistened over and face read with worry.

"Hello, Mr. Kwon. I'm sorry, but I'll have to call you back another time. Something urgent has come up. Goodbye."

She hung up with a current client before gathering her things.

"Seul, is everything okay?" Dawon suddenly asked upon seeing Seul packing her things in a hurry.

"Sorry, Dawon. I gotta go."

The pair anxiously waited in the waiting room of the hospital along with their mother's boyfriend, Yongin, and their father, Kisuk, and his girlfriend, Sanghee. Yongin has been waiting for more than two hours while the sisters have been there for less than an hour, and Kisuk and Sanghee just arrived several minutes ago. Yeon only informed Seul that their mom had fainted as Yeon was the only one that had picked up Yongin's phone call and he only informed her of that small information. Other than that the sisters didn't know anything else as they awaited news.

"Hello, good evening. I'm Doctor Oh." The doctor greeted the quintet as their attention turned to him ten minutes later.

"How is she? Is she doing well? Nothing's wrong with Narae, right? Oh please tell me that she's alright and that's nothing wrong with her." Yongin fired questions at the doctor before Doctor Oh shot him a reassuring smile to calm the male.

"Ms. Jung is fine. Are you the husband?"

"Ah, no. I'm Narae's boyfriend. Um," Yongin motioned towards Kisuk, "He's her ex-husband."

The doctor shifted his eyes towards Kisuk as everyone felt awkward at their current situation.

"What's wrong with our mom?" Seul asked, breaking the awkwardness and just wanting to get this done and over with.

"Nothing serious, but your mother is eighteen weeks pregnant." Doctor Oh informed them of the news.

The quintet went silent once more. They weren't sure what to feel, but it was Yeon that broke the silence.

"Are you saying that our mom is having a baby? At her age?"

"Yes, that is correct."

The sisters breathed a sigh of relief and the worries that Seul had disappeared although she was now slightly annoyed.

"I can't believe she got herself knocked up."

"You're telling me." Yeon agreed with a shake of her head before looking over at Yongin.

"Well, congratulations, you're going to be a father."

"Yeah, Yongin, congratulations. You're gonna be a father of a tiny human." Seul mused as Yeon nudged her playfully.

"Uh, thank you." Yongin responded while still trying to process the information.

"Yes, congratulations, Yongin." Sanghee congratulated Yongin with a happy expression while looking over at Kisuk fondly. "Hearing those words are such wonderful news, isn't it, dear?"

"Uh, yeah. Yeah, it is." Kisuk responded a bit distracted although he looked over at his two daughters.

Yeon and Seul avoided eye contact with him and just looked at the doctor.

"Is that why she fainted, Doctor Oh?" Seul asked a moment later.

The doctor nodded.

"Yes, although it was mainly due to fatigue and malnourishment. I also believe there was some added stress over the past month that had eventually overwhelmed your mother causing her to lose consciousness."

Doctor Oh handed the sisters a piece of paper which Yeon took.

"I recommend for her to rest plenty, take vitamins and supplements, eat properly, watch her stress and activity levels, exercise accordingly, and to schedule monthly or even bi-weekly check-ups with her obstetrician or her main doctor that she's currently seeing."

The sisters nodded as Doctor Oh looked to the time on the wall before returning her gaze onto the quintet.

"If you would like you're all more than welcome to visit Ms. Jung for the time being, but only one of you can stay the night."

Before Yongin could suggest for one of the sisters to do it, the pair gave it up to him.

"You should stay, Yongin. We're fine."

"Ah, yes. I think that's a good choice." Kisuk agreed with his daughters.

"Good. Ms. Jung's should be fine with visitors in a few minutes." Doctor Oh informed them with a polite smile before walking away.

"Yongin, I believe you should go in first to see Narae." Sanghee suggested as Yongin nodded absent-mindedly before doing just that.

"So," Kisuk began, but Seul cut him off.

"You and Sanghee can visit Mom. Yeon and I have other things to take care of."

"I see." Their father responded a bit dejectedly. "Well, take care."

"Thanks. You, too." Seul curtly responded before she and Yeon bid them goodbye.

Yeon was the only one to return to work as Seul had to meet up with a lawyer that finally got back to her and could only meet today and soon to go about legal procedures concerning Seokwon. At the same time something had come up for Yuna and she was unable to care for Jangmi for the rest of the day. So that left Yeon to babysit her niece at her job even though she could've just not gone back, but she remembered that she had to finish a few reports that were already due by the end of the week and didn't need more piling up.

So when Yeon appeared with her niece at the lobby Chahee beamed at the child and told Yeon that her daughter was adorable and looked just like her. Yeon had to immediately correct Chahee who quickly apologized for the assumption. After clearing up that situation Chahee had issued a special visitor pass for the child with an image of some cartoon character featured on the pass. Soon afterwards they rode the elevator which Yeon forgot that her niece found very amusing and almost continued the mini ride for Jangmi until remembering she couldn't play. Walking hand-in-hand with Jangmi who seemed to look around the office in awe, Yeon's path was stopped by two of her colleagues, Kevin and Jacob.

"So, Yeon, who is this?" Kevin asked in almost a sing-song like tone while he and Jacob crouched down to Jangmi's level.

"Hi." Jacob greeted the toddler in a soft tone. "I'm Jacob."

"And I'm Kevin. Hi." Kevin followed after.

Yeon didn't bother answering as she just let her niece greet the two males.

"Hi." Jangmi greeted with a toothy grin. "I'm MiMi."

"How old are you, MiMi?" The duo asked.

Jangmi held up three fingers as the males were impressed.

"Wow."

Jangmi giggled at their reactions. The pair continued to gush at the toddler and Yeon had to finally drag her niece away from the two males who still wanted to interact with Jangmi. Yeon finally made it to her desk as she got Jangmi situated before she herself could get herself all settled in when she heard her boss' office door opened a few seconds later. Sangyeon hadn't noticed the child while speaking to his secretary in a firm tone.

"Welcome back to work, Ms. Lee. I see that you've returned two hours and fifty-seven minutes later when I wasn't aware that you had left in the first place. Could you tell me why that is please?"

Just as Yeon was going to apologize for her abrupt departure, but she momentarily paused curiously at how detailed the time was that her boss had stated. She shook the thought away and had barely opened her mouth until hers and Sangyeon's focus turned onto the toddler when Jangmi greeted the male.

"Hi."

Sangyeon's demeanor changed as he cast the child a warm smile and greeted the young child.

"Well, hello to you."

Yeon was weirded out by her boss' sudden behavior, but didn't comment on it as to not return the attention back to her. Instead she amusingly watched the two interact with one another thinking that she was off the hook. That was until Sangyeon remembered that he was at work and reminded himself of that before he righted himself.

"Um, why is this child here, Ms. Lee?" He asked, facing Yeon again. "Is she your daughter?"

"She's in my care for the time being." She answered him. "And no, she's not. She's my niece."

"Oh. Okay, but you do know that it's not a place for a child to be. Correst?"

"I'm well aware of that, but some things came up and I'm the only one that can look after her."

"I see. Is that why you left all of a sudden?"

"No. It was something else."

"Then why didn't you pick up my calls?"

Sangyeon changed the subject in a nonchalant manner, but Yeon quirk a brow in confusion.

"When?"

"I've been calling you since I found out you left wondering why you suddenly left without my knowledge or informing me."

"Oh? twelve times?"

"I say it was less than that." Sangyeon commented casually, but he knew it was more than that if you looked through the call history.

Yeon didn't really care as she continued to speak in a nonchalant manner.

"Ah, so that was your number. Yeah, I don't pick up random numbers I don't know even if they call me many times."

Sangyeon scoffed at his secretary's answer.

"Well, now you do and you should save it just in case something like this happens again, Ms. Lee, especially as my secretary."

"Will do, Mr. Lee."

"I believe that you should do it right now."

"Do what?"

"Save my number."

"Oh. Um, sure. Just give me a moment."

Before Sangyeon could actually get his secretary to urgently do that, Yein from Sales arrived to deliver some documents to Sangyeon, but was without a doubt distracted by Jangmi.

"Aww, hi." Yein greeted the child while becoming eye level with her. "What's your name?"

"MiMi." Jangmi answered with a giggle. "Hi."

"Aww, you're so adorable." Yein continued to gush over the child. "Did you come with mommy to work?"

Yeon didn't bother to correct her colleague.

"Auntie isn't my mommy." Jangmi corrected the female instead.

Yeon slightly chuckled at her niece's words as Yein felt a bit sheepish.

"Oh, sorry."

Sangyeon coughed to get Yein's attention.

"Ahem, Ms. Ahn."

Yein didn't hear him as she was too busy communicating with the toddler. Sangyeon coughed louder and said her name louder than last time.

"Ahem, Ms. Ahn."

Yein heard him this time around.

"Oh, right. Sorry, Mr. Lee."

Yein straighten up as she handed the files over to Sangyeon.

"These are for you from Ms. Jung. She wanted to make sure they got to you before lunch time."

She bowed before hurrying away and waving goodbye to Jangmi. Sangyeon scanned the files before casting his eyes onto where Yeon should've been standing, but no longer was. His eyes wandered to find her and spotted her holding the child while making her way somewhere.

"Ms. Lee." He called out to her.

"Ah, yes?" Yeon answered while momentarily stopping to look over at her boss.

"Where are you going?"

"To the toilet. Jangmi needs to go."

"Goooo." Jangmi stressed as Yeon reassured her niece.

"Yes, MiMi, we're going, we're going."

"But I need you to in-"

Sangyeon didn't finish his sentence as Yeon paid him no mind and basically rushed off to get the child to relieve herself without causing some type of accident if she didn't get her niece to the restroom. Sangyeon tsked in annoyance before letting out a controlled breath.

"Deep breath, Sangyeon. Life happens. Just make sure she gets to these by the end of the week and everything's all good."

He let out another calm breath before placing the documents that Yein had handed to him earlier onto Yeon's desk before making his way to his own office.

#staytheb #tbzfics #sf9 scenarios #the boyz scenarios #kim youngbin #lee sangyeon

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nerdsideofthemedia · 5 years

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Bumblebee was always the plan part 2

It’s time to continue with my controversial posts. When I began writing this, it was intended to be mostly a response to arguments I see around and EF’s. Then my pretty confrontational post that had led to say to a friend “Thankfully no one reads my blog” became much bigger than I ever expected. There’s a good chance I would have gone for a different tone had I known it would get 500x the usual view of… 1, which is usually mine. This been said, it would have been a mistake. Still, I feel like I have to address some points that seem to have confused a few people and this is definitely to do that.

But first, soothing music to prevent knee-jerk reactions.

Let’s start with a claim that was kind of controversial: the suggestion that Blake could still turn out to be a lesbian instead of bi or pan as some claimed this was in itself bi erasure. I understand where this complaint comes from as bisexuality was basically considered to not exist in media, for example, Sex and the City has an episode where all the main characters but Samantha treat it as something alienating and a way to still be in the closet. Yeah, some episodes have not aged well. And I’ve lost count of the number of people that still don’t consider it a thing, even among progressive fandom like Janelle Monae’s and Crazy Ex-Girlfriend’s (I just gave you 2 bi anthems1). Just so we’re clear, even though I do think Blake is bothsexual (let’s see if someone recognizes that reference), I have to put on table of her being a lesbian as some gay people have dated members of the opposite sex for a very long time, and there’s high probability some of them were abused in said relationships. I can’t ignore those experiences (I suppose I can, but I shouldn’t and hopefully never will).

Black Sun: the ship that didn’t sail

Again, there were a few that didn’t like that I compared BB and BS, which they interpreted as a dick contest. That really wasn’t my goal. I did that because those were the ships involving Blake that had a chance to happen (Catmeleon and Enabling-abuse2 were not on the table) and I was arguing for Bumblebee having been the plan all along (which, to me, implies that Black Sun was meant to be a red herring, though I didn’t flat out say it – sorry, I didn’t think I needed to). The point was to illustrate how there had been hints for Bumblebee.

I argued for that way before volume 6 by pointing out several clues like the dance arc, the songs and the injury. At the time, someone asked me how I could know BB wasn’t the red herring. There are 2 reasons why:

While it’s not lacking in hints and foreshadowing, they are (mostly3) on the subtle side when compared to the very obvious Sun’s crush on Blake;

They’re a LGBTQ+ pairing. There are huge double standards when it comes to LGBTQ+ in comparison to hetero ones – many people will deny the first one until it’s impossible to do so. The point of the bait and switch is to have a little twist and you can’t have that if a significant part of your audience notices the switch, but doesn’t see the bait.

And if you have doubts about the last point, remember: in 6x11, Adam attacked Yang out of jealousy, then Blake held her hand while making a speech that put them as equal in contrast to Blake-Adam, a relationship where one of them constantly tried to make the other feel small (the point of the infamous speech). There were many denying BB. Then, he tried to make Yang feel insecure about Blake by telling her she had made the same promise to him and asked the super platonic question: “What does she even see in you?” and people still tried to deny it. In the last episode, Blake and Yang spent the time holding each other’s hands and yet, there were still people denying it. Not that I’m complaining, since it only increased my celebration time. It was like: episode 6x11, “yeah! Bees” for 3 days, the internet crashed my party for one, then 6x12, “yeah! Bees! This time is for sure” for another 3 days, again I had my enthusiasm dashed and finally, “yeah! Bees”. That time it stuck. So thanks guys! It would have been bad if by 6x13 I had already used all my fireworks.

If you thought BS was going to happen – that’s normal, because it was the bait. If I am aware that people tend to think of others as straight until proven otherwise, why do you think the writers aren’t? I may not live in the same country as them, but I still consume a lot of USA’s media and I know that if guy stalks girl, he usually gets her. Not to mention, the number of times media announces a LGBTQ+ character as tactic to gain some support yet deliver nothing, like saying Dumbledore is gay even though there’s nothing in the films or books indicating it (let’s leave the conversation about the “word of God” for some other time). There were more than a few LGBTQ+ people who were afraid Bumblebee would turn out to be just that: queerbaiting.

Miles and Kerry knew all of that and, more importantly, they were aware that you knew it too, so they played on your assumptions to make their bait-and-switch. However, there were plenty of hints that Sun was just the red herring and that Bumblebee was going to happen. Last time, I focused on the latter, this time let’s concentrate on the first. Let’s take a look at Sun and Blake’s relationship, shall we?

Sun was introduced in the last episodes of V1 and Blake trusted him immediately, because… he’s a Faunus. Though she told him about herself and the White Fang, he showed immediately he’s not on the same page as her as Faunus rights mean a lot to her and little to nothing to him. In 2x01, Sun talks to Neptune about Blake and concluded “and the best part is she’s a Faunus”, which goes completely against Blake’s words in the next episode “I want people to see me for who I am, not what I am”. She began going on a downward spiral to which he reacts with “Is she being all Blake-y?”, while Yang’s the one who gets through to her by exposing her own vulnerability.

Sun not fully understanding Blake is something the show hammers in our heads quite a few times even in more recent volumes. Like when he assumed she’s on her way to fight the White Fang when she was actually going to Menagerie to rest. Or suggested destroying the WF while Blake wanted to take it back.

In volume 3, they had literally no interactions besides him winking at her in the Vytal Festival – yes, she blushed, which can be explained by the fact that he did it in front of an entire stadium or that she had a crush on him. Personally, I’m inclined to the latter, but it really doesn’t mean much: not all crushes lead to something. A lot of them are a result of idealization and I think that was the case for Blake. By the way, I have to speak of Blake’s crush as likely, not certain precisely because it was never actually confirmed.

When Yang asked Weiss where Blake and Ruby were, Sun was there, yet it was Yang alone who went after Blake. The next time we saw him, it’s after their injuries and he is noticing an injured Blake grabbing Yang’s hand.

No, this shot doesn’t exist to show Sun seeing Blake injured, because he already knew that. He had just told Ruby that Yang was going to be OK, and the one who brought her there was Blake. Not to mention that if the point was to make him notice Blake’s injuries, it makes no sense for their hands to appear. Yang would have been kept out of the frame, instead of taking up more space than Blake. To me, this is the moment where Sun realizes Blake’s feelings for Yang. If the intention was for him to notice Blake’s injured, it would have made much more sense to see his face, then cut to her. Yes, they could have done the same with their hands, but this way they left it more ambiguous which was probably the intention. It would have made no sense for them to choose that if it was meant for Black Sun, because the audience was more than aware he was interested in Blake. We had been since V1 as there was never anything subtle about their relationship.

In volume 4, he flirts, Blake is usually either apathetic or downright annoyed. The exception is after the injury, and like I said, he’s the one who brings up Yang, revealing he realizes the bond between them. He is also hurt by the chick whose feelings weren’t reciprocated (I talked about that at length in part 1). In volume 5, their relationship is platonic.

Really, in spite of spending the volumes 4 and 5 together, it’s not about developing Black Sun in a romantic way.

Oh, a kiss on the cheek isn't romantic. It can be, but in the context, it was merely a "thank you".

Black Sun hasn’t sunk yet

While RWBY isn’t over, the possibility for Black Sun isn’t completely gone, though I don’t think I’m lying when I say it’s unlikely. You can like it more than Bumblebee, but it’s all right to admit it’s improbable. We (almost) all have been there. For crying out loud, in MHA, I sort of ship Kacchako4 (loses 2/3 of her readers – and that’s why this piece of trivia was originally intended to appear much later).

After everything he’s done for her (that she didn’t ask for)

This is usually phrased in a disgusting way.

There is a lot to unpack here.

First, it’s ridiculous to think you can be owed love/getting into someone’s panties. You can’t. People either love you/want to do you, or they don’t. If you want to do something for someone else, great, but do it because you want to and like (not necessarily in a romantic way) said person or because you’re altruistic – don’t expect a reward. This is what you sound like to us:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YWFfrQtHag0

You wanted the guy to get the girl, fine. You know you can watch that in almost everything else, right?

Second, it’s idiotic to associate getting the girl with masculinity or not getting her with being “cucked”. If your notion of being a man is tied to getting someone else, that’s on you. If you need someone else to feel good about yourself, maybe you have some underlying issues to address (another reference to Crazy Ex-Girlfriend – watch the show, especially if you’re making comments like the one I showed: you need it. I feel like the narrator in “S.O.B.s”).

Third, even by the logic of “after everything I’ve done for you”, Sun doesn’t win, because Yang paid a much bigger price: she lost an arm and had PTSD while he had a minor injury from which he had basically recovered by the next episode. This isn’t a “Yang deserves her” either – that argument is nonsensical no matter the pairing being defended, I’m just pointing out that it doesn’t even favor BS.

By the way, I noticed that a few people completely missed the point of why I compared Yang’s injury to Sun’s and think I did it to indicate Yang deserves it more or to win (?). It’s a bit confusing because I flat out say why I made the comparison, but here it goes again: it’s not to say Yang deserves Blake, but to indicate that, in fiction, we usually associate romance with higher stakes. I literally wrote:

“I think Yang’s and Sun’s injuries are everything I should need to prove the likelihood of BB as they contrast the two main Blake ships: Bumblebee and Black Sun. While heroes tend to save many people who are indeed just friends or sometimes not even that, there’s a reason why Superman and Spiderman usually include Lois Lane and MJ (or whoever the love interest is in said film) in the climax – it makes it more personal, raising the stakes. From this perspective, it’s easy to understand the importance given to either by comparing: what the injury was, who caused it, why and Blake’s reaction, thus allowing to conclude which couple was given more weight.”

“[…] point Bumblebee as the first one is more associated with romance.”

That was me explaining what the points were as well as why I was comparing the 2.

And yes, paying attention to dramatic weight is completely valid, we are talking about fiction after all. It’s not like we accidentally walked in on a guy threatening a gal and saying “I’ll destroy everything you love… starting with her” as another woman appeared in real life. Things happened the way they did because writers (editors, directors, etc.) wanted them to.

Don’t pretend you didn’t know that it’s relevant that the one who caused Yang’s injury was Adam, Blake’s ex-boyfriend, while Sun’s was caused by Ilia, the friend whose feelings weren’t reciprocated, and that it doesn’t say anything about the links Adam-Yang and Sun-Ilia. I lost count of the number of BSers who wanted Sun to fight Adam and wanted him to be the one taking Adam down (even though it got in the way of Yang’s closure), which shows many of you were perfectly aware of the importance of said connection.

As for the dyke representation… (the fact that they phrased it that way is very telling) if it was just that, then any lesbian couple would do. RWBY is about 4 female characters. Seriously, how come people never ask themselves why this one is so popular, even though Yang and Blake aren't the most popular characters? From what I've seen, Weiss and Yang are.

The claims of “pandering” and “SJW” have been raining for a while and I expect them to continue until they realize CRWBY can’t be bullied into erasing BB. Count on that to happen whenever a show reveals a main character is LGBTQ+ mid-series (unless it’s a particularly progressive show). If your reaction to seeing LGBTQ+ characters is to call it “pandering”, it says a lot about you, none of it good.

I know that we perceive straight white male as default. This is so entrenched in our culture that the first Transformers didn’t have any female transformers because the writers thought it would require an explanation. Yup, apparently you need an explanation to include half of the world’s population.

I suppose screaming “pandering” is better than to pull an EF and say “Bumblebee was and is the safest LGBTQ ship they could have done. Lesbian couples are the safest representation a show can make […] It’s more comfortable to see woman on woman action just because of how fantasized they are”, which:

doesn’t justify why BB is the safest LGBTQ+ couple as there are a ton of lesbian couples possible (White Rose, Checkmate/Monochrome, Freezerburn, etc.);

fails to consider the high number of LGBTQ+ women in RWBY when compared to LGBTQ+ men probably has something to do with the fact it has more female characters;

when did we see woman on woman action in RWBY? How did I miss that episode?

if lesbians are so appealing to straight men, how come they’re the ones whining the most about BB?

The whole straight-men-like-lesbians while being the ones complaining about them is particularly odd to me. It doesn’t sound like they like they are spending their time wrapped up in sexual fantasies. Maybe they are and can't stop. And that's why they don't like Bumblebee anymore... Poor things... But really, it just sounds like they need some kind of… safe space.

You can tell them not to worry. They still have most shows/books/films. And for the next 2-4 decades, they'll be able to count on Disney (taking shots at it since my very first post).

As usual, the original.

More RWBY posts:

Filmmaking and Bumbleby

Bumblebee was Always the Plan

Bumblebee was Always the Plan part 2

Faunus and the White Fang: The Portrayal of Racism

BB & Renora

Weird Post on Weiss’s Clothes

Foils: Adam and Yang (this one is in wordpress; it was my first one and I didn’t have Tumblr then)

Let’s talk about Adam Taurus (I didn’t post this one on Tumblr because the title and tags could lead Adam fans thinking this was about “his wasted potential” when really it defends the decision of killing him off and explains why it happened)

1 “Make me Feel” can also be taken as a pan anthem as Janelle as identifies as such (and I think she’s OK with being called bi too).

2 Enabling Abuse is what I call AdamxBlake.

3 I still consider “Burning the Candle”, V3 finale and the ship named “Pride” to be pretty obvious.

4 Not only are the odds against Kacchako (BakugoxUraraka), the shippers are considered villains who worship chaos, which is fine by me. I can’t say some part of me doesn’t enjoy being The Dark Knight’s Joker and that part is saying: “Tell me Batman, how does it feel to be the hero of a film that everyone watches for its villains?”

#Bumblebee was always the plan #bumbleby #let me 🐝 your bmblb #rwby bmblb #bisexual erasure #heteronormativity #rwby6 #bmblb #rwby spoilers #blake belladonna #yang xiao long #rwby writing #yang x blake #blake x yang #rwby lgbtq #rwby lgbtq+#rwby bumblebee

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paytonsportfolio · 5 years

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Get Movin’

How should the progress of physical literacy be observed and recorded under the conditions of our new, unhealthy societal habits? Due to the constant changes in our society, physical literacy is becoming a popular, yet complex concept to live by. People across the globe are becoming more aware of physical literacy, specifically because of the current obesity crisis. Our society is finally realizing the lack of physical activity in the average human’s everyday life; however, it is not just physical activity that we are lacking. Our society is unaware of how important it is to take care of yourself, whether it’s your mental or physical health. Working at my university’s recreation center, I, along with my colleagues and patrons, are very familiar with the concept of physical literacy and deal with health and wellness every day. I think that everyone should be as educated about physical literacy as the people that I work with. Considering the social changes our society has been through over the past couple of decades, we need to be more knowledgeable about and perform physical literacy.

About two years ago I started educating myself on physical literacy. I have always been active, participating in multiple sports year-round, but I never really took it upon myself to look further into health and fitness. My first step was asking my parents for a gym membership. Walking into the gym for the first time was extremely intimidating. I was surrounded by toned and muscular adults, drinking their fruit punch flavored pre-workout in shake BlenderBottle®’s, but instead of backing out, I learned my way around the gym. I tested new machinery that I have never seen before. I watched videos of fitness enthusiasts to help me familiarize myself with the strange equipment and movements. After many trial and errors, I finally found a workout routine that worked for my body. Before the gym, I absolutely hated running; however, after planning my new routine, I discovered different ways to implement cardio into my workout without having to run a mile or two. Having these different movements and routines made me enjoy taking care of my body. Throughout this process, I started to feel more positive about myself and life in general. I was much happier and less stressed than before I started my journey. What made me love the gym even more was seeing results. Running at soccer practice felt completely different. I was able to push myself much harder. I no longer dreaded going to practice, partially because I didn’t eat a box of pizza rolls doused in hot sauce right before practice. Even my coaches recognized my hard work and faster speed. I think other students need to hear that change is possible. If you dedicate yourself to taking the time to get to know, push, and discipline yourself, changes, for the better, will happen.

There are many different definitions of physical literacy, but they all have the same concept. Overall, physical literacy is the foundation of a healthy life. The development of physical literacy starts at a young age. Children start to learn and develop physical literacy once they start attending school, as early as preschool and or kindergarten. PE majors and teachers, exercise science majors, like health and fitness instructors, and other health and wellness academic fields must be very knowledgeable about the concept. In this case, we are talking about the fundamental movements of your body, and concepts like having confidence within yourself. In the article, “Physical literacy in the field of physical education – A challenge and a possibility,” Lundvall mentions Whitehead’s first definition of physical literacy discusses the idea of “physical performance aspects of movement that enable a particular goal to be achieved, or elements of movement that need attention” (114). Part of physical literacy is understanding that your body has limits and acknowledging those limits. Physical literacy helps humans, not just athletes, recognize their body’s boundaries. As you get older, your body starts to not work as well. Everyday activities, like walking up and down stairs, can become difficult, so it is very important to know your body’s limits.

Along with physical literacy, eating habits are developed during one’s childhood. According to the authors of the first cited article, “A multilevel intervention...,” a little over a quarter (29% to be exact) of preschool students in Canada eat the recommended amount of fruits and vegetables and only 23% eat the recommended amount of grains (2). Children not intaking the right source of food will cause them to not be as physically strong and less fit. The lack of greens and grains could also lead to obesity, which could cause them to be insecure and less confident with the pressures that come from social media. This snowball affect issue all starts with the parents and guardians of the children. After all, they are the ones that provide their child with the food they take in. If parents are providing their children with food that is not nutritional for their child, they are inheriting these bad habits from their parents. Sure, eating some candy or out at a restaurant occasionally, is fine, but is it taking over your child’s diet?

Our society’s younger generations have established different values and habits than those that are older. Children don’t have play dates in the backyard with their best friend from school. Nowadays, children will spend their entire day inside, their eyes glued to a screen, playing video games, eating Doritos. Sometimes I think back to my childhood and compare my everyday live to children today. On occasion, I will babysit my five-year-old cousin, Jonah. He is constantly on his iPad, watching YouTube videos or playing games. I’ll give him some credit, every so often he’ll ask to go outside and jump on the trampoline, but it’s not the same. When I was Jonah’s age, my friends and I would go in the backyard, run around on the swing set, and play hide and seek. If we spent time inside, we didn’t spend much time with technology. We’d watch an episode of SpongeBob or two, then go play “house” or Polly Pockets. Our world revolves around technology and it’s effecting our children.

The unhealthy habits and routines that our younger generations are developing will take over for the rest of their lives and can even cause them to become obese or overweight. According to A Healthier America, 17 percent of children in the United States struggle with obesity and “one in three children are either overweight or have obesity” (“Facts About Child Obesity,” 2019). These statistics are at an all-time high.

As I’ve grown up, I noticed that throughout my own childhood, I myself developed unhealthy eating habits. As I explained before, almost every day after school, I would come home and make a plate of pizza rolls or nachos. This then transitioned over to my freshman and sophomore year of high school. It was even worse in high school because right after I had my afterschool heart attack snack, I would go straight to soccer practice, where I would then run a mile, huffing and puffing. In middle school, I would sneak bags of chips or pieces of candy to my room and go to town for the night. These awful habits were obviously in my hands; however, it was all developed from my family. Even though I was very active as a child, I still had these influences of eating unhealthy amounts of and types of food. My parents, along with my aunts and uncles, have always been big eaters and not so active. It just goes to show you that parents should take a step back, look at their diet, and take their child into consideration. Would you want your child to be eating what you’re eating? Or thinking back to physical activity. Would you want your child to have the same habits that you have?

Social media has placed an enormous amount of pressure on children, teenagers, and young adults. Once a celebrity is photographed, the photo is uploaded to the internet, where everyone can see, and makes young adults feel the need to look like this celebrity because they have the ‘perfect body.’ What these young adults don’t know is that most, if not all, of these pictures are photoshopped. Most people looking at their favorite celebrities through social media feel insecure and less confident about their own bodies. Social media doesn’t just influence the everyday person to change themselves due to seeing others uploading edited photos. Social media encourages viewers and peers to interact with you on your post, like and comment. Your friends can tell you how good you look in that trendy outfit in the city, giving you that extra boost of confidence, or they can tell you that “you look terrible.” The obvious negative about social media is bullying. What physical literacy is made to do is to prevent things like this. You should have the confidence to post pictures of yourself, not delving too deep into the hate comments or changing yourself because Kylie Kardashian got lip injections. People endorsing physical literacy want their peers to be confident and comfortable in their own body and how their body works. In order to prevent our young people comparing themselves to celebrities and social media influencers, they need some type of reassurance that you are your own person. You can’t look at someone else an expect to look the same way. Parents should establish their children with confidence. If a child is confident within themselves, they are following the concept of physical literacy and have a lower chance of thinking less of themselves.

Although sport isn’t what physical literacy is all about, having a child that participates in sports can give them that extra boost of confidence. Of course, it also keeps them physically active and fit. When associating sport with physical literacy, it must be known that there are steps that lead to sport participation. In order for someone to participate in sports, they must learn the fundamental movements of physical literacy. A few examples of fundamental physical literacy movements are running, jumping, throwing, and catching. Once a child had learned the fundamentals, they then learn the more complex movements that are involved in sports, leading to the participation in sports. Playing sports like soccer and baseball will give students the opportunity to be physically active outside of the classroom and will generally lead them to a healthier lifestyle; however, it’s not about creating the ultimate athlete. The concept of physical literacy thinks less about competition and more about the overall wellbeing and health of a person, which supports the fact that physical literacy doesn’t necessarily focus on sport.

Physical Education teachers are the people that first introduce physical literacy to a child. Physical Education courses should be a diverse course to give the children plenty of opportunities to find something that they feel comfortable with. Giving students the opportunity to work inside and outside is a good example of diversity in the classroom. Allowing students to have different opportunities, like working in a different environment or doing nonstandard activities, gives students the chance to find an activity that they enjoy. Once a child has found an activity that they enjoy, they will start to develop confidence, which is exactly what PE teachers are trying to achieve. This development of confidence and comfortability with a certain activity, and within themselves, makes it more likely for the child to continue being physically active for the rest of their life.

Physical Education teachers live and teach by the means of physical literacy. They want students to be confident and motivated to be physically active, but it is hard for a child to be confident when the curriculum requires teachers to categorize students based on their performance. This makes students feel insecure and uncomfortable, exactly what teachers don’t want them feeling like.  Lundvall believes that physical education teachers should stop assessing students “based on how fast, high, or strong a student’s performance is” (116). PE teachers must think back to the idea physical literacy focusing on the development of a child and not how well or poor they perform.  PE educators want their students to develop the fundamentals movements of physical literacy and beyond. They don’t want their students to stop their growth because of a silly test in gym class telling them they aren’t fast enough.

Although Physical Education teachers have a huge impact on a child’s physical literacy, a child’s biggest influence is always a parent or guardian; furthermore, it is very likely for a child to develop habits that their parents have inherited. In order to incorporate physical literacy into a child’s life and to prevent the ongoing obesity crisis, parents should make sure that, along with themselves, their child is staying active, eating healthy foods and amounts, and having self-confidence. Doing all of these things makes it a lot easier for a family to live by the concept of physical literacy and increasing the chance that your child will live a long, happy and healthy life.

#final #research paper #physical literacy #literacy #health #health and wellness #confident #mental health #pe #pe teacher #society #social media #children #sport #physical activity #education

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metalgearkong · 5 years

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Thoughts on “Death Stranding”

Death Stranding was one of the most anticipated releases of this console generation, and finally in November of 2019 the world got their hands on it. I got my copy about three days after it came out, and leading up to me playing it, I intentionally avoided all trailers and gameplay footage. I wanted to experience this game as freshly as possible when it was in front of me. I bought this game out of pure confidence in Hideo Kojima’s brilliance, and wanted to support him regardless. After being fired from Konami, the publisher he was with sincemost of his career, he created his own independent studios, and Death Stranding is their seminal title.

Hideo Kojima is most known for the Metal Gear series, and is the grandfather of stealth video games. I wasn’t a big fan of Metal Gear Solid 5, but Metal Gear Solid 1 through 4 are some of my favorite games of all time. I also adored P.T. the demo for his upcoming Silent Hill rebooted under Konami. It’s one of gaming’s greatest tragedies that it was discontinued, as P.T. is one of the most subtle and terrifying pieces of media I’ve ever experienced. Konami decided he was spending too much money on his projects, and they apparently weren’t about to give him millions of dollars further to finish Metal Gear Solid 5 and start a new game with Silent Hills. Death Stranding is a brand new original game made by Hideo Kojima’s brand new studio Kojima Productions (under Sony), and I have deeply conflicting feelings about it.

We play as Sam Porter Bridges; his name referring to his job and the company he works for. Bridges is a pseudo governmental organization which employs Porters, glorified couriers who deliver cargo between the fractured cities on a post-apocalyptic USA (now called the United Cities of America). Like any Hideo Kojima game, the beginning is front-loaded with cinematics and exposition. In the past, his cinematics may have been long (revolutionary for their time) but at least they were informative, dramatic, or entertaining. The cinematics in Death Stranding feel dull, lifeless, overly long, and worst of all, don’t deliver information of this vastly strange world very well. I was deeply confused constantly as to what the new terminology for very ordinary things were, and I don’t feel like I was given enough emotional connection or information to care much for this world.

Gameplay is all about lugging cargo on foot from one place to another. One of the most major fundamental aspects of this game that keeps me from liking it, is the world itself doesn’t make much sense. Not only are lone men sent to physically carry cargo on their backs between places miles apart, the hazards of getting from one place to another make this method of connecting cities extremely dangerous and anti-efficient. Not only is the terrain rough, the environment is populated with marauders called MULES who seek out to stop you, and ghostly entities called BTs who will essentially drag you to the underworld. These BTs are invisible to the naked eye, and a loud sensor on your shoulder tells you when they’re near. Sam has a special syndrome called DOOMS which allows him to at least partially see these BTs (at lest when he’s holding still). To add to it, Bridges don’t give him a vehicle or weapons of any kind. If someone dies in this world, soon their body causes a “Void Out” which means their corpse basically becomes a nuclear bomb. Yes, someone’s fresh corpse becomes a nuclear bomb, lets send out men by themselves through all these hazards as our means of connecting everyone to the network and making UPS deliveries.

This all would be more than enough if it weren’t for the Timefall. In this world, Timefall is basically the name for rain, and it instantly ages anything it lands on. We see this demonstrated when Sam puts his hand out in the rain, and the place where the rain drops, ages that tiny bit of skin immediately. This is essentially several times worse than if the rain was simply acidic. The problem with this is, why does the Timefall only seem to affect certain things? Why aren’t the futuristic buildings and roads constantly degraded? Why does Sam’s rain coat doesn’t degrade? Why does the entire environment except for what’s inconvenient for gameplay affected? Your cargo, if carried in the rain, will degrade, worsening your score at the end of delivery missions. You have to spray it with repair stuff to get it back to good condition. And if the rain is this destructive, why is Sam only equipped with a hood? Have you every been out in the rain in a raincoat with a hood? You still get wet, especially if you simply look up slightly. This whole world doesn’t seem well thought out, and is unique for the sake of being artsy and different.

The game, according to the map, seems to take place on the East Coast, somewhere around Southern New England, but the terrain itself looks like nothing from the East Coast (even after an apocalypse). The environments look more like volcanic Iceland or Northern Europe, and I question why Hideo Kojima chose the East Coast of the United States as the game’s location if the terrain resembles nothing like it. Most of Death Stranding is hiking from one place to another, getting packages to their destinations in as good of a condition as possible. As far as the walking mechanics are, they are very realistic and in-depth. All of your cargo is physically represented on Sam’s back, and each item has a weight. When walking, Sam has to use his balance to stay upright. Each arm is mapped to each trigger button, and as a hiker myself, I appreciate the level of detail of carrying a heavy load. The strange juxtiposition to me, is that this is a very serious game that takes everything super seriously, yet the main game is all about carrying a comically large load on your back. It looks comical compared to literally every other aspect of the game, and I think Death Stranding would have been a lot more fun if the cargo’s weight was simply represented, and not its physical presence.

The menus and much of the UI is also terribly designed. As a lifelong gamer, I shouldn’t have been driven to such levels of frustration trying to simply make sense of the menus. I’ve never had such a difficult time getting to know a game, and I would dissect this UI to study what not to do if you want to teach your players how your game works. It feels intentionally unintuitive, especially because most of what the menus do, are typical things found in any video game. All of these issues would be more forgivable if the gameplay was any fun, but when you have nothing to look forward to are managing meters, walking miles with 120 kilos on your back, and avoiding annoying enemies, it all kept me from wanting to keep pushing onward. There is a multiplayer aspect similar to Dark Souls, in that other players can leave ladders, ropes, and roadways for other players to use, but I live in a place where I can’t use multiplayer, so these helpful aspects did me no good.

Death Stranding is a truly bold and unique vision. I am genuinely glad Hideo Kojima was able to land on his feet so quickly, and form his own video game company with his own staff, vision, and goals. It’s uncommon that a triple-A game is able to take such interesting new routes with the open world format. Death Stranding is completely devoid of microtransactions and other money making bullshit filled in other major titles to release on consoles. While I did not enjoy this game, it seems like many other people did. Even if I don’t love every game, I’m all for this sort of visionary game design, and wish the industry encouraged more of these sorts of titles. It’s better than playing franchise games only pushed out to make a quick buck, or have little difference from their prior titles.

I like Death Stranding for what it is, but calling it a grind to play would be generous. Most of the mechanics and concepts feel deliberately tedious, and I’m not going to subject myself to two dozen more hours of it to uncover the story. Besides the gameplay, the logic of the world didn’t make any sense to me either, and the obtuse cinematics with a bloated sense of self importance when very little is accomplished, I found very little reason to care about anyone in this world. Hideo Kojima always wanted to make movies before he landed in the video game industry, and his passion for writing and directing has reflected that throughout his career. I have a feeling Death Stranding would have worked better as a TV series, and not as an interactive tedious game experience. I like what’s happening at Kojima Productions on a purely philosophical level, and I hope this game does well enough for them to continue making unique games. My personal feelings on Death Stranding are not overall positive, but I’m rooting for Hideo Kojima regardless

#death stranding #hideo kojima #kojima productions #sony #ps4 #playstation #playstation 4 #sam porter bridges #norman reedus

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tessatechaitea · 5 years

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The Extremist #3

I'm disappointed that this half picture doesn't match up exactly with the half picture from Issue #2.

It's probably good I didn't post any of the blurbs that tried to bribe him with a handjob in the backroom of the Portland Comic-con.

Anyway, let's see what happened in "July, Nineteen Ninety-Three"! I'll try to baby it up so Tumblr doesn't shit its diapers.

Peter Milligan begins this issue all Peter Milligany.

Remember that this was written in 1993 when Peter Milligan makes mention of how a person could, at some point, be alone in anything. But also imagine now how the death of an intimate would go in 2019. Back in 1993, Judy is surprised to find that she's whisked away from her grief for long interludes by the bureaucratic machinations of a death in a capitalist democracy. This same kind of thing probably still happens except with more texts and emails and less phone conversations and driving to speak to people in person. But also imagine the non-bureaucratic side of death. We probably have far less close intimate contacts in our physical space now than we had in 1993, at least by percentage when compared with all people we would consider contacts (intimates who now live in another part of the world, people we know only from online, friends of friends we've maybe met once but now sometimes interact with over social media). In 1993. it would be phone calls and personal visits with flowers and cake or cookies. In 2019, you probably receive a deluge of crying emojis and people replying "*hugs*" to your post about your world crumbling beneath you as you try to stagger on with your remaining years bereft of the person you thought you could never live without. I suppose there are plenty of apps where people could send you cakes and cookies so I suppose it wouldn't be too terrible. Should I create an app that sends cakes and cookies to people when they've lost a loved one? It wouldn't cost anything. You'd just have to send me a small cake and some cookies with every use of the app! I can't wait to get extraordinarily fat! The journey is going to be so worth it!

Grief is a savory, selfish feast.

Peter Milligan has a way of expressing potent, terrible truths in such a casual manner that most people probably don't even notice them. There's an almost expressible power in believing you're experiencing something that nobody else has or will ever experience. Or just in knowing that you lived a part of your life unknown to your closest friends and family. I cherish, greedily, the moments of my life spent alone and far from those closest to me and I parcel them out as stories in only the most meager of manners. Hell, I've probably told more about myself and my experiences here on this blog exactly because I know my friends and family don't read it. I might say this every commentary until this series is over but I still don't know if I understand the point of the overall plot. But I do understand that the plot is a way for Peter Milligan to be Peter Milligan. I understand the need for a framework to say things you want to say. Or to just put scenes out there that you don't want to bother encasing in some kind of larger whole that you're less interested in. So here's another scene Peter Milligan had to have thought about and then needed a place to mention it:

Of course people still get horny for their dead partner! But how often does anybody talk about it?! Maybe it's common and I'm just consuming the wrong kinds of media. Alex Trebek never once asked a contestant if they jerk off thinking about their dead spouse!

Netflix's Dead to Me has some pretty frank discussions about the loss of a spouse but while Christina Applegate talks about being horny and wanting to fuck somebody, I don't think she ever says she masturbates thinking about her dead husband. If the point of this story is about dealing with loss, I'm beginning to get it. And that would completely explain why I missed it at twenty-one. I'm only three pages into this issue and it's kicking me in the face with existential issues. Was I too dumb at twenty-one to understand any of this or just too sheltered to really feel it? Maybe I was just too fucking young. Judy finds the key to Jack's Extremist apartment. After looking around the place, she thinks, "It was like having Jack die all over again, but this death seemed more profound. 'I never knew you,' I thought." It's an easy statement to point out that nobody ever really knows anybody. But once, because Jim Starling wrote a terrible run on Stormwatch, I wrote an entire rant about how we all hide our innermost dark secrets from even the greatest loves of our lives. I was essentially asking how can we know anyone if we won't even let those closest to us know our most vulnerable thoughts and terrible crimes (I don't mean crimes in the law and order sense! I just mean like that time you put your finger in your ass and then made sandwiches for your friends and they all got sick and you didn't do it on purpose but you made the connection and nobody must ever fucking know! You know, those kinds of crimes. But not that specific one! I totally just made that one up for effect). So I could repeat myself or just link to the rant or just (and — Spoiler! — this is the choice I'm going with!) move on to page five of this comic book. Judy discovers an old diary written by The Extremist (but not Jack!). Then she finds some of the tapes he burned and salvages a few. She hears Jack speaking about murder and getting pissed on and, most appallingly, calling her "poor dull dead little Judy." She smashes the place up, finds The Extremist's gimp suit, and tries it on thinking, "What the fuck?! Maybe I'll feel sexy and start speaking in sex metaphors!" Then the phone rings. And I suppose the rest is history! And by history, I mean Issue #1! Except I'm only on page seven so maybe I'm jumping the gun. I guess we need to learn how Judy met Patrick and why she decided her life would be better by going out at night murdering people until she comes hard in a leather suit. Oh, I hope that last sentence wasn't too adult for Tumblr! A bunch of pages are taken up by the plot stuff that I apparently paid the most attention to in 1993 and which is the least interesting part of the story (so far!). Patrick "accidentally" runs into Judy and he pretends he doesn't know who killed Jack. He offers to help her find out if she'll pose as The Extremist and do murders and blow jobs for him. Judy is all, "What the hell! Maybe I'll understand Jack a little more! Maybe I'll know why he needed a boring piece of shit like me when he was having such fantastic fuck and murder adventures!" No wait. That's what I would say. Judy just wants to find out who killed Jack and to, maybe, feel a little closer to him. I don't think she's as amped up as I would be about the loads of indiscriminate sex and murdering of the most perverse perverts. The main story ends with Judy making her first kill. She learns that her problem was that she was always living in the past and the future. So even if she had wanted to kill somebody in the moment before, she'd be all tangled up in the past and whether the person deserved it and maybe some of it was her fault and perhaps she's been too hasty with her murder decision. And she'd also be lost in the future like how the person will stop existing and how she might wind up in prison and how the victim's guts are going to be hell to clean up off the floor. But in the moment, she can just satisfy the need without consequence or conscience! She discovers it's a thrill! Well, I could have told her that! I've been playing Dungeons and Dragons since I was ten! Never worry about what the orc did or if it deserved it or if it has family or if you're actually the asshole raiding its lovely home! The actual issue ends with Tony, the black guy on the stoop, sitting in The Extremist's apartment listening to Judy's tapes. He's just finished the last one where she says she's going off to kill Patrick and he's completely caught up in the drama. He wants to know who killed who just as badly as, well, not me but I'm sure some readers were on the edge of their seat at this point. The Extremist #3 Rating: B. I don't find myself caring about the framework. But Peter Milligan has thoughts and those thoughts are well worth the admission price to this story. In a way, this is just an extension of his run on Shade the Changing Man. It's almost the same story if you squint your eyes and unfocus your vision and punch yourself in the genitals. Patrick is the guy on Meta who was pulling the strings to get Shade to go into the Area of Madness and eventually Earth (I forget his name! I bet it was Patrick!) And The Extremist is Shade and Kathy too (they both have similarities to both Judy and Jack, so I don't mean to say either Shade or Kathy is essentially one or the other). The Extremist has crazy missions where they kill and fuck just like Shade and Kathy had! I think. I mean, probably! And Tony is just Lenny in someway that I haven't spent any time thinking about but they were the only characters left!

#The Extremist #Peter Milligan #Ted McKeever #DC Comics #DC #Vertigo

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voidwerks · 5 years

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Ask List

For @absolutelynoterica

#3 rant. just do it

‘Cause you know where we are: that this town is as large as it is (by the standards of the entire rest of the country) but is 95% houses, fast food and copy-cat restaurants, and alcohol for days agitates me to no end. There’s one functioning mall, 3 movie theaters in a city of 300k+, and very little in terms of shopping besides routine big-brand stores. The govt wants people to come here to visit, to have tourism? You need to have things people want to see in the first place! Art museum, aquarium, warship, not a bad start right? They still need attention given to them to make sure people not only visit but have a reason to return. The town’s ‘illustrious’ shore road? Chock full of potholes and houses that look as old as their owners. Downtown? While they’re doing some work now, they’ve still got a lot of work ahead of them to make it a real destination. And half the time when someone actually wants to come to town (i.e. the water park), they end up going elsewhere. Why? A, the city wants too much money or some sort of deal on the project, B, the city gives too little and the project can’t afford to go forward, and/or C, the city tells them to piss off because old voters don’t want things to change.

Change costs money. Change takes action. And yes, change also sometimes means getting rid of the old. But it seems like too many people in power here are content with the stagnation. And maybe it’s my northeastern upbringing, but it bothers the hell out of me that I can drive 30m in almost any direction in town and not run into anything new or exciting.

#4 do you think it’s ok to separate the artist from the art?

Yes. Similar to literature, though an artist’s experiences, politics, mentality, lifestyle, and more may influence the creation and intention behind a piece of art, I believe that art, film, books, etc, more often than not exist independent from their creator from that point forth. People create their own meaning when they interact with media, and over time something can be radically different than what the artist originally intended. In addition, no one lives forever, and after an author literally dies their work often has to speak for itself anyway.

And this can be a double edged sword, no doubt. On the one hand, you’ve got artists who’s creations were effectively taken and twisted far beyond their original intention (i.e. Pepe the Frog), and struggle to return it to what it was meant to be. On the other hand, you can also have creators like JK Rowling who has largely been left to rot by the Harry Potter community because of how radically different the people’s interpretation of the series and world(s) they’ve made are compared to what Rowling says now.

I guess in a way art is like having kids. While it’s nice if they’re able to not only support you but carry on your legacy after you’re gone, often times they go to forge their own path, and they can’t be blamed for it.

#14 what’s your coffee order?

Probably a mocha or shop equivalent with a decent amount of cream. I’m not big on coffee at all. Then again, I probably haven’t had any actually good coffee before either.

#15 what’s a question do you constantly get asked?

Not so much now that I’m out of school, but my last name. I’ve been dealing with people having no idea how to pronounce it or wondering where it comes from as long as I can remember. And to answer those two questions: it’s entirely phonetic if you spend a sec to break it down, and it’s Basque, a rather unique culture that has lived in the corner of NE Spain/SW France than either country has been around for.

#23 if you could break one of your bad habits which would you choose?

Procrastination, hands down. There are just certain things that I have some sort of aversion to, even if I know that they’re Not Bad and Actually Productive.

#27 how long before a trip do you pack?

Usually a day or the night before. I don’t like feeling like I’m primed to launch for extended periods of time, because anxiety. I’ve also traveled/moved enough times that I’m usually pretty good at making sure I have whatever I may need for the duration of a journey.

#29 what quote or inspirational setting do you think is bs?

Any quote or idea along the lines of “you make your own happiness/success”. The world is hard. The world is cruel. The world isn’t fair. You can try and be as happy or successful as you like, and however much we may want it, that is often not enough against the weight of the world and the actions of others. While wallowing in one’s own muck doesn’t get you anywhere, neither does beating one’s head against a wall, or trying to do everything alone. Know when to rest. Know when to ask for help, even if it’s hard. Know when to take a step back and re-evaluate things. Know that you’re doing what you can.

#33 what do you think about a lot?

Too much tbqh, and that’s even without anxiety thoughts. What I could be doing wrong with my job hunt, or could do better on. How my ex is doing, since I worry about her well-being. What’ll I be up to in a few years? Am I forgetting something? Should I spend some time painting, or finding new music, or trying a game I’ve never played? It just goes and goes and goes.

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finnicks · 3 years

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i can't put this shit anywhere bc twitter has a character limit and i've p much just left the social media platform i'd post this on anyway.

i usually use tumblr for fun shit and understand other people do, too. this is for myself bc sometimes you have to dump thoughts somewhere, and i don't want to handwrite this bc my handwriting is horrible atm.

navel-gazing personal shit.

i feel like being a navel-gazer rn bc who reads personal tumblr posts? i figured i'd share this here bc i've been reblogging a lot of self-care and positive self-talk quotes for a while now and doing my usual rambling spiel in the tags where i've also offered bits and pieces of where my own headspace is and referenced my own mental health journey. i do hope those posts and even me screeching in the tags helps someone on their journey.

anyway.

for the last two months, i have been putting my mental health front and centre. thanks to a good friend, i realised that no one will ever put my mental health first and the only way that i would ever feel better about myself and break out of this vindictive and awful cycle i found myself in (and have been in for years) was to take the bull by the horns and guide it myself.

so i have been. and it's been fucking great.

it's been hard. it was hard when i first started bc i was wondering if i was doing the right thing or if i was even doing it right. (yes, it is the right thing, and yes, i was doing it right bc i was doing it for myself.) it's been lonely, too, for many reasons, some including the worry of how friends will perceive me and judge me, and also the fact that not everyone i know is even on board the "let's get better and do it ourselves" express yet. if i don't feel a connection with someone about the topic at hand, i don't talk to them about it. it's reasonable; talking about this is opening up a vulnerable part of myself. so, i kept it to myself a lot.

i recognised a social media platform that really let me flog myself. i recognised that it encouraged me to compare myself to others and that i was constantly seeking out shit that hurt my feelings. it sounds nuts but i sought this shit out for the sole purpose of opening up a negative dialogue with myself where i was derisive to myself. ever since being off of it, i have felt really great about myself. that's important to me. not being on there is important to me; if someone can't accept that, that's actually not my problem.

over the last two months, the way i talk to myself has changed drastically. i would like to think that if any of my friends knew how i spoke to myself that they would be saddened and devastated by it bc it's cruel and unkind. how i spoke to myself fed my negative self-narrative and i believed that negative self-narrative was the reality and the truth. it's not.

i know it sounds kind of trite to say "be kind to yourself!" but, seriously, be kind to yourself. pull yourself up when you think horribly about yourself. be your own best friend. it sounds stupid and super cheesy, but it really does work. no one will cape harder for you than you. when i started having a negative thought, i'd say "stop", force myself to reframe, and try and not dwell on it. easier said than done, i know, but it's possible if you really persist.

i changed a lot of my inner dialogue and told my inner voice to go take a hike bc i deserved a lot better. it's gotten to the point where i feel a lot more confident in myself. i still have my insecure moments (of course, we're all people, and this is just the beginning of my journey, too), but these days, i'm able to identify if it's being brought on by me being tired or if it's bc i'm being overly emotional and personalising a situation that doesn't even reflect who i am. i'm kind to myself in these moments (it's important to be).

i'm negl... since doing this, i feel clearer. i feel like i can see shit now. i can see my bad behaviours and toxic habits, and i can see i have power over them. i also feel like bc i've cleared out some space, positive space and energy has come my way, too.

i used to have serious fomo when it came to things and friends. i think it makes sense to not want to miss out on your friends. i didn't want my friends to lose their interest in me and so i felt the need to remain "relevant" to them and i did things that i didn't want to do and took on things i never had any interest in. if you have to be consistently present and in someone's face in order to remain "relevant" (i.e. constantly at the forefront of their mind and someone they talk to), then they're not really worth your time. i did this a lot with a hobby i'm in. ever since i stopped doing that (it's hard to break a habit like this), i felt a lot more fulfilled and less resentful. people will talk to you bc they want to. your friends will remember you and think of you and speak to you and all that shit if they are good people and good friends. i didn't trust people. i am now starting to trust them. (some people do make stupid ass decisions and that also does affect my trust, but, you know, i'm actually open to trusting people to show that they care for me. the whole stupid ass decisions is another thing entirely.)

no one will ever change how you feel about yourself. someone can compliment you, but if someone says you're great, your inner dialogue can rip that apart and call it insincerity if you have a poor relationship with your inner voice. i know; i used to do this all the time and then wondered why i felt like people complimenting me was insincere. (i no longer feel this way. instead, i'm working on stopping my inner dialogue from saying "you don't deserve this" to "i deserve this and i am grateful X complimented me".) i do appreciate the people who are happy for me and celebrate my wins. i am grateful for them. i wasn't grateful for a long ass time bc i could never allow myself to celebrate my wins before. (btw, friends who do not celebrate you are not friends.)

i started complimenting myself. i picked up a gratitude journal again and i write down a minimum of five things i'm grateful/proud of from the day that's been. i do this every night, no matter what. i do it on good days and i do it on bad days. it's important to identify the good. i now look back on my journal and i see all the things that made me happy. sometimes it's as simple as "i'm grateful for my cats" and it can be as detailed as "i'm proud of myself for writing 1,000 words of X fic and posting it." i also make sure to include one person i'm grateful for, especially in the form of an interaction, bc i feel like it's important for myself to remember that, when i feel lonely, i'm actually not lonely at all.

a good friend shared with me that people often make decisions without me i mind. it's not meant to be cruel; it's just a fact. and since acknowledging and accepting this, i've felt a lot better. less vindictive, less hurt. i won't lie, i used to make decisions with people in mind and then grew resentful of them bc i made those decisions, usually out of some desire to "keep" them. the thing is, no one can be "kept". people choose to stay. the moment i began making decisions for myself, i felt better.

i still have a long way to go. i feel like since i started this journey, i've begun to correct really bad behaviours and thinking patterns. by doing that, i've uncovered other ones. people are like onions, and i've begun to unwrap all those gross layers that make my eyeballs water. what drove my insecurities and negative behaviour patterns isn't going to be solved in two months, but in those two months, i've made some great progress. i think that deserves to be celebrated.

the things i feel like i need to work on and feel like sharing include:

accepting compliments; yes, they are for me, and i should be proud of the work that gained that compliment.

accepting that people like me for me.

accepting that people want to be there for me even if i feel like i don't need anyone.

complimenting myself further.

removing myself from situations. this sounds very weird but by removing the "i" from someone's choice has given me so much freedom.

continuing to do what i want to do when i want to do it.

being kind to myself. i am a busy person (my work is a lot) and i need to start angling my self-love to be understanding of that.

stop comparing myself to others. i'm me; i'm great.

appreciating the fact that i am me, and there are some great things about me that are worth celebrating that i won't list here.

accept that i am good enough for me. full stop. (if i'm good enough for someone else, cool.)

sometimes i worry that by me putting myself first in this way and changing the dialogue i have with myself will lose me some friends. maybe it will. some people feel comfortable with who i was before i started this. i have always believed that some people are meant to be in your life for a pitstop or for some part of the ride, and some people are meant to be there with you until you reach your final destination and join you on your next journey. people who can't accept and even celebrate me for who i am and trying to become are not people i want in my life.

understanding (and celebrating) that i'm me and not someone else has been important and great. i used to try and make myself be like someone else, but i'm not. i'm not the person next to me and i'm not my friends. i realised that being me is good enough (it's starting to be). after all, no one is me.

i am enough.

#personal shit

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ibookbm · 4 years

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21 Motivational Books that Will Change Your Mind About Life, Money, and Yourself

My least favored feeling is feeling stuck.

I may be stuck with non-public growth, stale in my relationships, clean out of ideas at paintings… the list is endless.

The worry of closing stagnant may be crippling.

I’ve felt that way many, frequently. Each time it looks like I’ll never overcome it like I’m permanently drained of motivation.

Know what I suggest? Perhaps you’ve resigned yourself to living a miserable, dull lifestyle. Maybe you even agree with you don’t deserve better than that. When you feel so bad to see you later, it’s hard to assume life in some other manner.

I’ve been there too. Many instances.

In reality, I’ve made such a lot of journeys to Auckland and back that I’ve proved to myself that my time there isn’t everlasting. Some of my trips are surely longer than others, however, I constantly return.

And because I realize I constantly go back home, I’ve made it a dependency that each time I’m in a “valley,” I remind myself of all the alternative valleys I’ve already been in. I remind myself that this valley is no specific than the others, although it looks like it's miles. I remind myself that I have felt like this before and that I have overcome it before too.

You don’t need to face the valleys alone. In truth, it’s higher no longer to face them alone. When we’re by myself, that’s while the crushing negativity can creep in… all of the self-doubt, the concern, and the fear.

We’ve all were given little “voices” inner our heads. Sometimes they’re fine, but on occasion they’re negative. When you tell yourself you “can’t” otherwise you’ll “never” or you “don’t deserve it”… the ones are the voices. And the instances while the one's voices are the loudest? Well, those are the valleys.

To get out of the valleys, you have to shush the terrible voices. And the exceptional way to shush ’em isn’t to try and get rid of them — because they’ll constantly return, announcing something different next time. No, the great manner to shush the voices is to crowd them out.

How do you crowd ’em out? The answer may surprise you.

Read.

Every time you study, you get entry to to a fresh perspective — and you get to pick out that perspective every unmarried time.

Every time you examine, you pay attention to other voices except the ones to your head.

And on every occasion you examine, you're making your world bigger.

You allow your self to grow and enhance your existence… one word at a time.

So in which need to you start? I can help with that! Below is an in-depth listing of 21 motivational books you can use to fill your mind with effective voices, empowering thoughts, and inspiration to create a life you love.

Let’s dig in!

The Subtle Art of Not Giving an F*ck through Mark Manson

I wager that identify grabbed your interest, huh? It does have a chunk of shock cost — but it also backs it up with reliable advice on how you could decide what to care about… and what not to. Pretty ambitious thinking, right?

Think and Grow Rich by way of Napoleon Hill

This is one of those books that’s a piece older but makes each person’s “Best Motivational Books of All Time” listing. Napoleon performed dozens of interviews with the most successful and richest human beings inside the early twentieth century and drills down into the commonplace tendencies between them.

Awaken the Giant Within via Tony Robbins

Tony Robbins is one of the names most synonymous with self-help books. And for a proper purpose — he’s written six first-class-selling books approximately economic freedom, private development, and more. I particularly like this e-book due to the fact he stocks what he’s discovered approximately the pleasant ways to assist humans to wreck thru to new degrees in life.

The Success Principles with the aid of Jack Canfield

This is the *best* book for those who sense caught with wherein they're in life. I’ve been there, and this book helped me get out of my hunch. With short chapters on each subject matter, Jack teaches you a way to boom your confidence, address every day demanding situations, live with ardor and reason, and make your goals actual. You’ll be again on track in no time.

Spirit Driven Success by way of Dani Johnson

Dani Johnson went from being homeless to a millionaire in TWO years. Two years, folks. She’s an ordained minister and teaches the way to “release the door to biblical wealth and prosperity secrets.” I was so inspired by way of her story and knew I needed to add it to this list.

Tools of Titans with the aid of Tim Ferriss

Over the remaining years, Tim has interviewed the high-quality of the fine inside the international on his podcast. He’s taken the whole thing he’s discovered from the ones 2 hundred+ interviews and packed it into this GINORMOUS inspirational ebook. But don’t let the scale intimidate you — think about it as a giant resource for fitness, wealth, and happiness.

Rich Dad Poor Dad by way of Robert Kiyosaki

Robert explores the mind-set which you don’t have to earn a ton of cash to be wealthy. He’s responsible for converting how hundreds of thousands of humans consider cash and investing. This is one of the fine private finance books obtainable.

Lean In by way of Sheryl Sandberg

Ever heard of Facebook? (LOL!) Sheryl Sandberg is the COO of the social media empire, and he or she’s created a name for herself using coaching women how to take manipulate in their careers and be proper leaders in their fields. She indicates “unique steps women can take to mix expert success with personal fulfillment.”

How to Win Friends and Influence People with the aid of Dale Carnegie

Here are some other vintage-time traditional that you’ll locate on many “Best of” lists. It has bought tens of millions of copies over time and illustrates how to interact with humans effectively. Communication = the important thing to achievement in ANYTHING.

Losing My Virginity with the aid of Richard Branson

Richard Branson is the founder of Virgin Atlantic Airways, Virgin Records, and more pinnacle groups. He’s one of the most iconic marketers of our day. This autobiography tells the tale of his loopy-exciting existence and the way he writes his very own regulations in the enterprise. It’s a clean take on the traditional “self-help” e-book.

Big Magic through Elizabeth Gilbert

The writer of the wildly a success Eat, Pray, Love is back with some other e-book on the concept, creativity, and conquering the fears which can be conserving your lower back. She’s awesome inspirational and when you finish analyzing the e-book, you’ll need to start taking motion stat.

The Obstacle is the Way with the aid of Ryan Holiday

You recognize what I say: Being happy isn’t about having 0 issues — it’s being capable of clear up the troubles we do have, no matter how big or small. And that’s why I love this book so much. It suggests you how to show problems into successes.

Loving What Is: The Four Questions That Can Change Your Life through Byron Katie

Byron Katie created a manner known as The Work that enables you to notice your issues in a different mild. This ebook expands on that method through particular examples of people running through their issues and understanding the underlying notion tactics at the back of them. It’s considered one of the leading motivational books on private transformation.

The Now Habit by using Neil Fiore

Are you a procrastinator? Always placing things off and either doing them at the last minute or no longer doing them at all? I was once much like that until I read The Now Habit. Now I get my booty in gear and get things carried out so that I can revel in my unfastened time faster — without feeling guilty.

Mindset: The New Psychology of Success through Carol Dweck

You men recognize how tons I do not forget mind-set to be an integral part of everybody’s success. Well, this e-book is THE ebook approximately mind-set. I got so much out of it that I even based part of my Money Mindset Transformation workshop on the ideas taught via Dr. Dweck in this book.

The Dip through Seth Godin

I’m sure you’ve heard the announcing “Winners in no way end and quitters by no means win.” But… on occasion, winners DO give up and quitters DO win! But how do you realize whilst to cease or whilst to push via? Seth teaches precisely that during The Dip.

RELATED: How This New Dad is Proofreading His Way to Freedom

The Millionaire Next Door via Thomas Stanley & William Danko

Being a millionaire shouldn't mean you’re flashy or have pricey things. In reality, you could have a millionaire dwelling proper next door and no longer even comprehend it. This book walks you through the seven “guidelines” all millionaires live via — and they’re likely no longer what you anticipate!

7 Habits of Highly Effective People through Stephen Covey

Stephen Covey is some other noticeably regarded writer inside the motivational international. This ebook got here 25 years ago, but it’s nevertheless one of the most recognizable and encouraged personal growth books accessible.

Psycho-Cybernetics by way of Maxwell Maltz

No, this book isn't always approximately robots 😉 It’s a shorter, less complicated manner of saying “steering your mind to inefficient, a beneficial purpose so you can attain the best port inside the world, peace of mind.” It’s a reasonably unknown e-book compared to others in this list, however, Tony Robbins is a fan — and so am I.

The War of Art via Steven Pressfield

Here’s any other wonderful e-book approximately unleashing your creativity and pushing via roadblocks standing for your way. If you’re a wannabe writer, this e-book is for you — Steven Pressfield was over forty years old when he first was given published. You’re in no way too vintage!

Change Anything by Kerry Patterson & Joseph Grenny

Have you ever tried to make a change in your lifestyles (cross on a food plan, begin the exercise, and so on.) but couldn’t follow thru? There’s a cause for that, and this ebook dives into how you can trade your destructive behavior and replace them with better behaviors.

Looking for pointers for setting up your freelance business? Check out this resource page in which I talk approximately my favored equipment and resources for constructing your website, walking your freelance business, and even keeping healthy!

Our Take This listing has to get you out of the valleys to your subsequent trip to Auckland. 🙂 Just keep in mind that truly analyzing one of these books (or maybe they all) won’t create exchange all with the aid of itself. Motivational books aren’t magical within the Muggle international. Mere records are powerless without implementation. So with every ebook, you study, extract the “golden nuggets” — the matters that circulate you to action — and get to paintings!

What are your favored motivational books? So what do you believe you studied? Are you searching forward to a journey to the library or bookstall? Have you given your finger a workout from clicking away on Amazon? I hope so! If you've got other books you’d want to advise, permit me to understand inside the remarks! I’m always looking for more excellent books to study.

#mindset #self development #self-help books #self education book

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notes-from-a-small-english-woman · 7 years

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Kindness Is Key

As part of the Huffington Post’s “All Women Everywhere” project, which aims to reflect the diversity of the British female experiences and voices through journalistic articles throughout March, actress Emilia Clarke wrote an article entitled “The New Sexy”. In this article, she approaches the topic of feminism and her own place within it with tact and grace. She recognises and admits that her own upbringing, grounded in equality, gave her a privilege that not all women have; the confidence and opportunity to have a voice that can be heard. She also addresses the problem of how women in her position who hold feminist views are made to feel like “guilty feminists” because they have not experienced oppressive sexism as strongly as others, but again approaches this issue tactfully, explaining that her situation has given her opportunity to understand the oppression of other women and the means to stand up against this. Moving on to the crux of her article, Clarke emphasises the importance of kindness in the fight for equality, to eradicate hate from our society where people are so used to tearing each other down (and being torn down themselves). It was at this point during my reading of her piece that I really began to engage with what she was saying, because it was a philosophy I already try to live by.

There’s a phrase I’ve seen circulating around Facebook, on those “inspirational quotes” pages, which really strikes me: “People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” This quote, while not directly reflecting Clarke’s argument, outlines the basic aim I believe everybody should try to have within their lives: to make other people feel good around you. This may seem like an obvious ideal, as everybody likes to be liked, but in eighteen years of life I have had so many experiences with people who seem to live to tear other people down. Sadly, this is one big issue in social justice groups such as feminists, as women (thought they are fighting for equality) have this sense of competitiveness and individualism ingrained so deeply within them that they often fight among themselves about who actually deserves to be called a “real feminist”. In this sense, Clarke’s argument comes into play, with the idea of building other people up, as she says that “one woman’s success, is every woman’s gain”. If every woman in the world decided to stop fighting with each other and sectioning themselves off into sub-categories of “women”, the equality movement would move a whole lot more smoothly as its opponents would find it much harder to fight a unified force than a fragmented and dissonant one.

Extending this idea past feminism and equality movements into a general philosophy of life, simply the idea that everybody should just try to be kind to each other speaks to me on a very personal level. As a person who feels a bigger rush of happiness and achievement from making somebody smile than from getting a high grade on an essay, I can completely say that kindness is underrated in our society. I don’t think for one second that people are innately cruel, or that we as a species are becoming unkind – there are so many examples of some amazing acts of kindness by so many people – but I feel like maybe we have lost sight of the little everyday things we could do to make everybody’s lives just that little bit more pleasant. Something that really struck me was the influx of stories coming out about George Michael, after he died, detailing hundreds of his anonymous acts of incredible generosity. The sheer number of people who had these experiences with him really overwhelmed me, to think that this amazingly talented artist had a legacy of such kindness and pure humanity really gave me faith that there is a true essence of goodness in us. One thing that people seem to say in stories about George Michael or other celebrities who they have had similar experiences with is “I will always remember them as the person who did ...” It got me thinking about what I want to be remembered for when I die and the truth is, I would much rather be remembered as a kind-hearted person who made people who met them feel good than as a successful artist or professional. As a university student, I think sometimes about how the people I know now will remember me in ten, twenty, thirty years’ time. I hope they remember me as being the girl who wasn’t afraid to speak her mind, whether it be to say something contrary to popular opinion (as an English literature student with not much experience with the classics, I often have different views on the literary canon to my fellow students) or to simply tell someone I enjoyed their presentation or love their outfit today. If someone is looking back through their yearbook in the year 2047 with their children, sees my picture and says “Oh that’s Kesi, I remember her, lovely girl”, I will be ecstatic. Too often I see people trying their utmost to impress everyone with their intellectual remarks, but there is a fine line between intellectual and pretentious, and they often fall to the side of the latter. At the end of the day, nobody will remember you for the grades you got, they’ll remember how you made them feel.

I used the example of large-scale random acts of generosity by celebrities because these are the things we hear about through social media, it’s something we are aware of as a collective. An issue with this is the distance it creates between the individuals and the acts of kindness, as they are often too big to be done by people who don’t have millions of pounds to give to strangers or the superstar status to perform a free concert for NHS staff. Because of this distance, people possibly feel like there is nothing they can do to help others and so they don’t bother. This is why I love movements such as “pay it forward” or “random acts of kindness”, which encourage little, achievable gestures towards others which, while only really requiring minimal effort to do, can have a huge impact on the person on the receiving end. I mean, I once spent the last three hours of a shift at work with a huge grin on my face and a spring in my step because some customers (an elderly couple) told me I had a beautiful smile. Working in retail, I tried to make my interaction time with customers as pleasant as possible, which involved generally being polite, making conversation and smiling a lot. Receiving that once compliment made my entire work ethic feel validated in a job where most of the time it felt pointless (people can be quite rude to minimum wage retail workers), and it made my day a million times better. To refer to my earlier point about how people remember you, I will always remember that couple as the lovely people who made me feel so happy when they complimented me at work, whereas I have some people who I will always recognise on the street as people who made me miserable when they were rude to me as customers.

The idea that people remember traits such as kindness more than anything else about you was introduced to me, funnily enough, through Harry Potter. One of the few things Harry is told about his mother, that is repeated constantly throughout the series, is her kindness. In the film of Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, Remus Lupin tells Harry that his mother was “ an uncommonly kind woman” who had “a way of seeing the beauty in others, even, and perhaps most especially, when that person couldn't see it in themselves.” The series also presents a certain value of kindness, with Dumbledore telling Harry that he is “ unfailingly kind: a trait people never fail to undervalue”, comparing him to his mother. Growing up seeing these kind of traits celebrated in the stories I loved so much, I started to absorb these kinds of values myself. My moral education is ongoing, of course. I am one of those people who spent a lot of time watching YouTubers during my teenage years (and currently into my adult years) and one YouTuber I have continued to be inspired by is Carrie Hope Fletcher (her channel is called ItsWayPastMyBedtime if you want to check it out). She is one of my idols for many different reasons, but the one I want to focus on here is her philosophy that she first talked about in her video “Nice for No Reason”, where she encouraged her audience to carry post-it notes and a pen around and leave nice messages in public places to brighten other people’s days. She often talks about how she tries to be polite and friendly to service staff and strangers, the importance of smiling and the power in a simple act of kindness such as saying “have a nice day” to somebody. Watching her videos from the age of around fourteen, the values she promotes helped to shape my attitudes towards others and inspired me to try to be as kind as she encourages people to be.

Another inspiration I had for aspiring to kindness was my mother. Having grown up in the USA, she has a quite bubbly, outgoing personality compared to the slightly more reserved manner of the typical English person, so I was always very aware of how her behaviour towards others was different – she will just chat and joke with random strangers next to us in a queue or with service staff. I remember asking her why she did this, when I was probably around twelve or thirteen and in that moody hormonal phase where your family’s very existence is embarrassing, and she said “they’re a human being, not just a machine that’s there to serve me”. Her answer stuck with me. I had never really thought about that before. I wasn’t rude to customer service people or anything, I just got away with the bare minimum of communication and then left (in my defence, I was a shy child, but even so I probably should have said thank you more than I did). She made me realise that the bare minimum really isn’t enough, that being a kind person requires putting in that tiny bit of extra effort in your daily interactions with others. I remember once walking around a supermarket with my family when I was quite young and seeing this older teenage girl, probably around seventeen years old, who looked absolutely stunning. I can’t remember exactly what she was wearing, but I remember her entire outfit and her hair and makeup were just beautiful. I really wanted to go up to her and tell her how amazing she looked, but I didn’t because I felt like that would be weird and unappreciated. Looking back on that now, I realise that a lot of people are probably stopped by that fear, which is crazy really because what seventeen-year-old girl would be offended by a ten-year-old coming up to them and telling them they’re beautiful? I feel like the world would be a lot nicer to live in if people said more of the nice things that they thought about others and less of the negative.

A great thing I think we could all try this year is to do something nice for someone every day. It doesn’t have to be something big, simply saying “thank you” and “have a nice day” to the driver as you walk off the bus would be a start. Complimenting people’s outfits is always a nice thing to do, and it doesn’t mean you have to lie, if you don’t like someone’s outfit don’t say you do, but you are very unlikely to legitimately think that everybody around you is dressed poorly. Just make someone smile. It’s not difficult, it doesn’t put you out in any way. It can only be a positive thing.

Make someone smile today.

Until next time, folks!

#kindness #positivity #emilia clarke #all women everywhere #huffington post #feminism #carrie hope fletcher #george michael #inspirational people

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canvaswolfdoll · 7 years

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CanvasWatches: K-On!

I haven’t over-talked about an anime for a while, have I? At least, not since October. Life’s been busy. Let’s fix that.

Lately, I’ve had contact with the greatest library system in the world,[1] and through it I have managed to watch one of the Essential Anime Series.

And, as always, I watched K-On![2] dubbed. Take that, anime elitists! Ha-ha!

It took me awhile to get through K-On!, longer than I would’ve liked, since I ended up watching it between two trips, months apart, where other commitments and activities forced me away from the television as I desperately tried to get through it, and maybe onto others shows I checked out (Spoilers: between the two trips, I only really managed to watch K-On!)

Luckily, its overarching narrative isn’t very important to follow closely, as it is the flagship of the ‘Cute Girls doing Cute Things’ anime set that evolved from Azumanga Daioh. It was often quipped, whenever someone tried to come in partway through, that there was no plot.

It’s not even Seinfeldian, since even that had actual stakes. K-On! really is a show about a small rock band of girls where nothing really happens. It’s very cute, endearingly so, but… well, I wouldn’t say you need to go out of your way to watch the show if you’re unsure. If you’re into anime and exploring the various genres, then yes, give K-On! a try, just to see if this sort of show appeals to you.

Actually, going back to my earlier snark, this is a show I’m really glad I could watch dubbed. I’ve previously outlined my reasons for only watching dubs, but in this case my penchant for multitasking was key for sitting through the series, while keeping an ear on the actual show. If I were forced to keep rapt attention, reading every line as it came on screen, there is no way the show would’ve won the effort versus reward balance.

K-On! is a good white noise show, which isn’t an insult. It’s just something that’s very easy to come in and out of as you do other things, or want to watch something without committing to depth. There is value to fluff and escapism, which you can find here.

The entire series is built to be disposable, with no drama. There are no romantic relationships, no major fights or tedious fall-outs. In fact, I almost want to say there’s zero conflict at all. Yet, despite what your writing and English teachers may tell you, the series works.

It’s a story carried by its cast of characters. They aren’t even particularly outlandish characters, compared to other shows. They have quirks and traits, but they’re low key, and I’m not even sure how well I can describe the main cast, as they tend to overlap with character traits. The most obvious differences between them are whether they are extroverts or introverts. Still, it’s my style to talk about characters, so here’s my attempt.

Main Five:

Yui: The supposed protagonist of the series, or at least the focal character during the establishing phase of it. Her endearing characteristics are that she’s immature and physically affectionate! She’s also the second most extroverted character. At the start of the series, she’s directionless and unsure what to do with herself now that she’s a High School student, so she decides to join a club. Except she doesn’t really want to put much effort into it, so she joins the light music club, believing she’ll breeze by only playing simple percussion. But, she ends up having to learn the guitar. She also seems to be the main vocalist, at least for the opening sequences.

Mio: She’s the bass player and is left handed, but is also very shy and relatively serious. Thus, of course, she gets played up for the most fan service and put in uncomfortable situations, though she mellows out as the show progresses. She also gains a fan club, because why not? She sings the closing credits songs.

Ritsu: The club president and drum player. She’s tomboyish, loud, and impulsive, thus the primary driving force whenever she’s actually on board with something, and the one who first really wanted to form a band. Childhood friend of Mio.

Mugi: She plays the keyboard! She’s a little of the quiet, subtle type, but also has a rather wide enabler streak, as she uses her family money to buy her friends nice things, and is the person brewing (very fancy) teas and bringing treats for the club meetings. As such, she might be the one most to blame for how little the club members practice as opposed to just hanging out.

Azusa (Azu-nyan): Joins half-way through the first season as a second guitar player. She then quickly rises to become, if not the viewpoint character, then at least sharing the position with Yui. Unlike the rest of the band, she actually starts with a lot of musical knowledge, and really would like to practice from time to time. However, she lacks confidence to stand up to her “Senpais” (it’s actually interesting to hear the dub casually use the terms), so she gets swept into their usual tea times and Yui’s overabundance of physical affection. Also, she’s almost only addressed as Azu-nyan by the club members.

The five live the expected high schooler lives, studying, hanging out, making jokes, visiting the beach, and in general growing to become a rather adorable group of friends. You know, slice of life stuff.

Though, I’d also be remiss not to discuss the secondary characters:

Sawako: A teacher of… something I forgot? But eventually the homeroom teacher of the senior band members. She’s the wackiest character, despite her efforts to appear professional outside the club room. She’s pretty casual with the Light Music Club, and makes cute costumes to try and force onto the band. She’s also probably my favorite character.

Nodoka: Yui’s childhood friend. She’s a member of the student council, and thus the one forced to try and get the band to actually do paperwork.

Ui: Yui’s younger sister, who is miles more responsible than her older sister. She also becomes Azu-nyan’s classroom friend.

Jun: Azu-nyan’s third friend. She’s a member of the Jazz club, and exists to make the kouhais a trio.

There are, of course, other bit players that pop up now and again for the sake of the plot, but none really matter outside these nine.

So the episodes go: the four (later five) band members interact, get to know one another, and grow as friends and possibly people, but not by a lot.

Honestly, the lack of in-depth and overarching plot makes talking about K-On! difficult because it’s not a show you watch to find out “Will these girls become a successful band?” or “Will the power of music defeat the evil aliens?” It’s just something you sort turn on so you have an excuse to melt into the couch, maybe browse social media, and listen to characters have a nice time.

Like Yotsubaa, though a little less goofy, and actually animated.[3]

So what is there actually to describe? It’s a pleasant experience, watch it if you're interested, don’t if it doesn’t appeal.

There’s the actual music. They are a band, and we do get to watch and listen to music being performed, though usually abstracted into some sort of music video. It’s nice music, and the Dub makes the excellent decision to leave the vocals in Japanese and subtitle it. I may be a staunch Dub advocate, but even I can admit it’s usually best to leave music as is.

It’s all very fun music that I wish I could listen to, but copyright bots have done an astounding job of keeping the songs off Youtube, and I can’t even find the music on any American music service.[5] The lyrics are a little silly, but in a fun way.

Fair warning, though, you will here the ending line of Fuwa Fuwa Time constantly. It’s their go-to ‘and the girls are done playing’ snippet. I found it amusing, quipping it’s the only song they play, but I can see how it might get tedious to hear.

So let’s go a little meta with it. What can I, as a creator, take from this anime?

The girls are very similar from a distance, both in appearance and personality. Yes, they differ in some of the details (hair and major personality traits), but they mostly can fill any role needed for the typical K-On scene. Ritsu is rambunctious, sure, but she’s as susceptible to ‘cute’ antics and sentimentality as the others.

They are very flat characters, who all grow very little over the course of the series. Yui is as much of a childish airhead at the end of the series as she was at the start, if not more. Ritsu never learns to be responsible about club forms or her own actions. Mio is as reserved and nervous. Mugi still is content to sit back and watch. No one learns anything.

And that’s okay.

Because you don’t need to tell a sweeping epic or carefully plotted drama to tell a continuing narrative. It’s nice to have, yes, but it’s also acceptable to keep the stakes low and just enjoy the moment.

It’s also a great example of how to make very similar characters still have little unique traits, and how little differences can make a world of difference. The main characters all fall at different points of outgoingness, ranging from Ritsu’s energetic tomfoolery, to Mio’s desire to not be noticed. It affects how the five will approach a given situation, and gives space for potential conflicts.

And honestly, though I love the concept, the scenes built to show how two characters interacting when it’s only them aren’t the strongest of the show. Like the band itself, it’s an ensemble piece that’s at it’s best when everyone’s there, with the occasional guest performer.

To take another meta direction, it is a show about artists. Musicians, yes, which is an inexplicable magic I have no way to enter,[6] but artists nevertheless. So it’s a peek into the life of young artists, if perhaps slightly improved. Because these girls do have a following amongst their classmates, and thus are successful in that way. And they have, between the television episodes, OVAs, and movie, gotten a few outside gigs, which I never managed as a High Schooler.

Though I’m a writer, so that might explain it.[7]

Still, the world doesn’t just give them success. Though it’s mostly offscreen, they all do practice. They show the importance of networking, which is how they get their scant few outside gigs. With Sawako, we also see artists learning from an experienced artist, as well as an experienced artist helping and nurturing new talent, even if she keeps putting them in silly outfits. Most importantly, the band members support one another and working together to make Afternoon Tea Time (Ho-kago Tea Time) better, show casing the important role friends and colleagues have in an artist’s life.

Because, more than anything, Artists require support and encouragement. It’s difficult to create something and then not have anyone to turn to to evaluate and enjoy it. I’ve never had many people I felt I could hand writing to and expect them to actually want to read it, least of all my high school friends. Or most of my family, really. I’ve tried, in my youth, but always got such an indifferent response that I learned not to try.

So, I guess those are the important messages of K-On!: support your artists, not just financially, but also emotionally. Find what you love, and others will come to you. And sometimes it’s nice to just sit around with teas and snacks and good company.

Thanks for reading, and speaking of support, I have a Patreon.[8]

Kataal kataal.

[1] Could I legally sell merchandise naming the Santa Clara County Library? Seems like an obvious choice for Canvas merch. [2] I know the second season has two exclaimation points, but since animes are always a little odd with naming seasons, I’ll just use season 1’s pattern, like I usually do with Anime. [3] Which actually might just be Azumanga Daioh…[4] [4] Also, c’mon Kiyohiko Azuma! Even a one season anime of Yotsubaa would be amazing. It’d be so cute, and I could get at least two of my family members to watch anime with it! [5] Well, I haven’t tried iTunes, but I never want that on my computer again. It’s so needy. [6] Seriously, I have no rhythm or concept for how to compose original music. Or even words to describe what I want from people who do! [7] If there were a High School anime about artist friends, the writer would be the gloomy one who feels the others get more recognition and opportunities than them. [8] Ha! Smooth transition.

#CanvasWatches #k on anime #CanvasReviews #anime

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