#conflict in the first place - is just so cathartic to see | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

anxiousheart7 · 8 months

Text

*spoilers* Astarion’s story - analysis and thoughts

I’ve been thinking quite a lot on Astarion the last couple of weeks, and the journey I’ve been on with him. I’ve seen a lot of content about him.

I’ll start by saying this - I didn’t ascend him. I couldn’t. I did, however, watch the ascension on YouTube but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. And I’m going to explain why.

Here’s the TL:DR version, with my deeper dive below.

As Astarion gets his revenge in Cazador, his flurry of knives felt oddly satisfying to me. It was a release as grim and cathartic. That cry of pain and ending felt necessary for him. I came out of that palace knowing that it was ok and he’d be ok.

The ascension felt gratuitous. Watching him carve exactly what Cazador put him through should have been cathartic too, but it wasn’t. I just felt a shiver of cold. And that was the moment I knew it was the ‘bad’ ending.

Experiencing Astarion’s Journey - delving deeper

I don’t think I’ve ever quite experienced a character story like his before. Here’s someone who is quite clearly designed to draw you in via the usual routes. He’s attractive, he’s got the funny lines. He’s the rogue - a lot of D&D players’ favourite class. He quickly becomes indispensable.

At the start, his flirting was fun. Act 1 I think is supposed to be a light hearted toe in the water, so to speak. Right up until your first major choice with the goblin vs tiefling conflict. Then it becomes real. But until then you can spend copious amounts of time wandering and chatting to your new friends in camp while some of them (namely Lae’zel, Gale, Karlach and Astarion) go straight to ‘i want you’ territory. And you’ll gravitate to those that are ready to get hot and heavy because…video game sex.

There was such a focus on romancing your camp and you lean into that so heavily in act 1. Approval is all-important. And his approval is harder to get, so you try harder with your choices. You want this guy. Like really want him. He’s like ambrosia. And, if you’re not one of the 100k rejections toted in Larion’s infographic, you get him.

As a recovering people pleaser, I’m not going to lie, that was a hard concept to grasp. To make your choices based on who you were trying to impress is exactly the kind of behaviour I’ve been trying to step away from in real life. But hey, this is a game so I’ll be ok.

And then it starts…

Looking back, there’s this line that stood out ‘it felt like you weren’t all there’. Despite his insistence later, Astarion was very likely going to that place of dissociation that he talks about later on. And that’s sad, because as Tav you want this milestone to be special. You want them to fall in love with you. The reward for all your hard-earned approval hiking.

But Astarion masks. He masks well, but you can tell on Insight that it’s all an act. Even when you look closely, the ham fisted complements he throws at you reflects the 10 charisma he’s carrying around. He works as a lothario not because he’s an adept silver-tongued Casanova. It’s because he’s simply beautiful. People see him and want him. His looks mask what’s going on underneath. But then you look into his eyes and it’s right there, plain as day.

There’s so much more underneath. I have watched the scene over and over with the hammy chat up lines as he’s trying to convince you to sleep with him again (I got propositioned first before the tiefling party) and the more I watch, the more I believe that ‘I love you’ wasn’t an act. They wouldn’t have given you three brush off comment choices if it was. He meant that, and I don’t think he even realised he meant it until he found the words coming out of his mouth - as though he was daring himself to say it.

With Astarion, it’s all in the eyes.

And, as someone who has seen those eyes in the mirror on a pretty regular basis, I knew there and then until he started revealing his backstory - the scars, the master and all the rest, I knew this was going to hit very hard and this man was a deep well. He was so lost that he barely had any idea of who he was any more.

By the time you’re well into Act 2, you’re starting to get the gist of him. You learn about his sadness and sense of loss around his identity before he was turned. You learn about the scars. And you learn about Cazador. I got the sense that all of this exposition was almost like a therapy dump from him. Thoughts and feelings he’s wanted to express for decades but hasn’t had a soul to tell - or he’s been compelled not to by his master. Now he can get them out. He can voice how unfair and unjust it feels. The sarcasm, the cynicism, all a way of expressing how much pain he is in. But one thing he’s never lost is the knowledge that he doesn’t deserve this. He hasn’t been beaten down so much to believe that he is unworthy of better treatment. And that sense of self is what I believe has kept him going all this time. He knows it wasn’t his fault. He knows Cazador was a cruel, sadistic monster.

And I hugged him. Of course I hugged him. I defended his autonomy from the moonrise drow and I hugged him after. At this point I’d fallen as hard for him as he had for me. I cared for him. I couldn’t make any of those obviously awful choices with him. When the details of the ritual came up I felt a knot in my stomach. And sure enough every time we talked after that point he talked about taking that power and I thought ‘this will be rough’.

It reminded me of a lot of really bad experiences I’d had in the past. Boyfriends and friends who were clearly bad for me and I was bad for them. And yet, I needed to help this guy. This person who had nobody for so long. Who didn’t know what it felt like to have someone actually care about him.

I looked this as someone who has experienced trauma in their life. How would I feel. How have I felt? To be scared of so many things. To wonder why on earth would I do something nice for someone else when I’ve sat in alleys, starving and in pain while people just walk on by. No gods to answer my pleas for help. I’d be cynical and disapproving too. I’d have a warped sense of humour. I’d want to never feel that again. Of course he saw the one thing that could protect him and feel compelled to grasp it with both hands.

Astarion has conjured up feelings in me I thought were long gone.

Astarion’s finale

The images I’ve included in this post have been doing the rounds on tumblr and this hits so hard it hurts. Astarion’s journey ends in such as way that it’s meant to be hard.

If you’re a gamer that commodifies your characters as a series of stats or objectifies them based on their design, then ascend him. It doesn’t matter to you. And I’ve seen plenty of people on message boards and Facebook saying exactly that - “but he gets these powers and is so badass”. They’ve never seen past the facade. He was a jerk at the start of the game, a creepy flirt and a vampire ready to be staked. And that was it.

Every excessive power in this game has a major consequence that you have to live with. This choice I think is one of the biggest before the climax of the game.

The ascension pretty much erases him. It takes who he was and the healing that he’s done and throws it away, as if it never really mattered.

And to him he’s worth exactly what he thought he was to begin with. His self-worth is warped into superiority and his hunger and fear replaced with a hunger for power and dominance. He’s not free in this form. He just becomes a new kind of imprisoned. He’s placed in stasis forevermore. And this won’t last forever because as absolute power corrupts absolutely, it also falls. Just like Ozymandius, he’ll rise and collapse under his own grandiose. And he’ll take you with him if you let him.

That steamy scene before he turns you is basically exactly what the Larion writer is saying - you’ve not empathised or grown here. Have your sex scene and then enjoy your eternal enslavement with New Cazador. It’s a bad ending for you and Astarion. You get to be exactly what he was, no matter what pretty words he tried to convince you with - he’s still that 10 charisma trying to convince himself as much as you. He’s Act 1 Astarion with some nifty new powers. He will control you like a doll and yours will be the same half life his was. He’ll start with promises of being his right hand, but somewhere down the line you’ll do or say something and he’ll do to you what was done to him. It’s the ultimate narcissistic relationship.

If Astarion walks away, he’s him. Truly him. With purpose and a new path to walk. You can build a new life together with nothing holding you back. The trauma behind him, he can now walk a path of healing for himself and learn who he is. It makes me feel hopeful and joyful that he gets a second chance.

And that’s where I’m at. My ideal ending is for them both to go off together searching for a cure for his vampirism. Whether it’s possible, who knows - on writing this I’m still to finish my first run of the game. But at least there’s that glimmer of hope in that ending.

I think Astarion is beautiful. There’s a reason half the internet is madly in love with him right now. But if you let yourself, he becomes more than a nice body and a pretty face. His complexity opens up like a puzzle box and you feel the satisfaction of a truly beautiful arc come to its climax. He’s a beautifully written and crafted character and I’m so glad to have experienced his story.

I could say so much more…but it’s long enough as it is. Thanks for reading x

#baldur's gate 3 #astarion #astarion ancunin #bg3 astarion

345 notes · View notes

melonteee · 4 months

Note

I think what hurts the most about how Nami was handled in OPLA is how thoroughly her character themes and trajectory were screwed up. Nami is one of the first representatives we see fake smiles hiding genuine suffering as an overarching motif, to the point that it’s engrained deeply to her backstory and the final note Arlong Park ends on, and it just… isn’t there. At all. To the point that the one time Nami smiling/laughing *is* brought up in the show, it feels backhanded. Like the narrative equivalent of telling her she should really smile more. Then, because Netflix/Tomorrow Studios are cowards, the show did everything in its power to downplay Nami’s financial insecurities and decided Nami stealing should be framed in a worse light than Zoro killing people for money. Which meant Nami’s arc became her needing to overcome a “fuck you, got mine” attitude, which led to Arlong Park being thematically (and somewhat narratively) incoherent once they got to her deal with Arlong. But the worst of this was the choice to give Nami all of Sanji’s parts in Baratie. Because, really, what does Nami thinking Luffy should stop Zoro’s fight have to do with her problems with Arlong? The whole reason she didn’t see Zoro’s fight in the original was because that wasn’t a lesson she needed to learn. She was already risking her life for her goals, and she still believed she could achieve her dreams once she paid off Arlong. It was the hope that Arlong *could* be bought, and that she had no other options when compared to Arlong’s strength, that was holding her back in the original. Nami trying to convince Luffy also felt so nonsensical because it’s the one place that doesn’t have heaps of over explaining (while also removing Luffy *and* Zoro’s explanations from the original scenes) so it’s like… what do you expect him to do, Nami? What could Luffy possibly say or do to stop Zoro that doesn’t either lead to Zoro responding “okay then I quit” or require some massive violation of Zoro’s autonomy? And, again, what does Luffy not doing so have to do with Nami’s conflict with Arlong??? Is the implication supposed to be that Nami thinks Arlong is *right* to use force to make people do what he wants???? But then you get to the episode 6 and Zoro’s second unnecessary pledge to Luffy (that’s already ruined Thriller Bark) and it was like… Oh. I see. Nami was given all of Sanji’s parts so she could be an easy straw man for Luffy to knock down. She *can’t* explain why she thinks Luffy is wrong (nor can anyone else) outside of vague repeated phrases, because if she did Luffy would have to actually defend his stance the way he did in the original. Instead of having Zoro tell him that he was right all along and doesn’t need to self-reflect about anything. Because Luffy’s true arc in the live action is that he Wants loyalty, and Needs other people’s validation. Hence why Luffy spends very little time actually interacting with his supposed crew most episodes, why storylines that were originally about Luffy proving himself worthy are now reframed to be about the others proving their loyalty to Luffy, and why the show’s ending reframes his first bounty as him *finally* achieving the recognition he felt entitled to at the beginning. And Nami’s sadly the one most effected because the East Blue is her saga. Cool.

(I realize you must get a lot of these, so thank you. It’s been very cathartic to hear your thoughts)

Anon you are doing exactly what I'm doing, which is thinking further ahead in One Piece's story and going "Wait, but if THAT happens, these scenes in future arcs are going to be totally ruined and make no sense?"

Hence why I'm saying, ALL these changes, ALL these characters being uprooted from their original writing, is going to cause MORE changes down the line if this keeps going. To the point the series is going to be completely incomprehensible and won't be One Piece at all. They already failed multiple scenes by just ADDING them in while changing EVERYTHING around them so they made zero sense and had no impact, but it's virtually impossible to fix this show without totally redoing everything. They ruined the introductions, they ruined the original motivations and original personalities, these characters are simply not the same at all.

And with these story changes, as you pointed out, it has ruined future character development AND future scenes.

Also the "Nami stealing is more immoral than Zoro killing for money" is so fucking funny, makes just as much sense as a WHOLE town genuinely hating a LITTLE GIRL 😭😭

#ask #melonask #oplatalks

31 notes · View notes

sunyot · 2 months

Text

Must See T.V. Moments - Invincible 2024

*****SPOILERS for SEASON 2: EPISODE 6*****

I'm in my T.V. Phase now...

*******I MEAN IT. SPOILERS AHEAD******

The 'parasitic alien' remains a classic Super Hero villain. My personal first introduction to this villain came from watching Batman Beyond. In a two-episode Saga, Terry gets the opportunity to fight alongside The Justice League of his era. Naturally, he finds discord only to discover... well you get the idea.

This concept plays on one of our fears as people: being controlled. As gamers, we're so used to being puppetiers. Yet imagine Being the puppet. Imagine further maintaining a small hint of consciousness; an out of body experience where you watch your every action taking place. We might wonder if we'd still feel pain? Would we feel anything at all? The parasite would probably have a total lack of self-preservation, and that scares us.

This show still reigns as one of the best-written shows on television. Robert Kirkman handles tension so well. I'm avoiding reading the comics, but when I see an episode as good as this one it's very tempting. The series integrates so many layers, adding a density to the storytelling. Amazing story craft like this, in my opinion, is the cause of fiction withdrawal. I know the feeling well.

Sometimes, a series feels like it's speaking to you personally. It becomes a drug that taps directly into your veins. I keep a list of shows on my phone that give me this feeling. Maybe one day I'll share them. Really, I keep them to remind myself which shows give me the true feeling I'm searching for. I do this in the hopes of limiting my sometimes lengthy searches for new entertainment.

Let's start with the obvious.

Do you Ship 'Mark X Amber' or 'Invincible X Atom Eve'?

Fans of the series remain vocal about their preferences. And I get it. They prefer for Mark to spend the majority of his time as Invincible, the superhero. They want to see him at his most powerful, going on adventures, fighting alongside a crew, and receiving the admiration of beautiful potential partners. Seeing Mark in a more ordinary human life could feel less fun. And Amber is, in a way, a representation of that. Her groundedness reminds Mark, and the audience, that he's still just a guy. This can cause conflict between the audience and certain characters. Protagonists often serve a cathartic outlets for viewers. Fans of Twilight want to see the quiet, studious, normal young lady swept up into an extraordinary series of events. Seeing someone like themselves, allows them to live vicariously through the plot.

Likewise, superheroes serve as one of our culture's best self-insert fantasies...

This is good. This is healthy, I'd argue. Being able to explore yourself in an idealized fashion can help people create fragments of identity which can sometimes become the sparks of our moral centers. All that said, writers like Kirkman, understand that stitching these fantasies to universal human experiences are what make them memorable. It's the filtering of the wild through the boring that make our stories sing.

In real life, we have relationship problems. We screw up. We do poorly in school. We fail at our obligations time and time again, while the world forces us to push onward because our obligations are always with us. As Mark continues to try and do the right thing, his humanity outshines his Viltrumite heritage.

*****SPOILERS for SEASON 2: EPISODE 6*****

Rexsplosion reads Home Decor Magazines - Invincible 2024

"I actually thought Rex died..."

This series plays with tension brilliantly. It also avoids having too many moments of relief. When the immediate danger fades, the characters still live in a state of worry. They're always waiting for the other shoe to drop. We learn something quirky about Rex, but only because he almost died. This semi-sweet moment humanizes him, yet emphasizes the ominous nature of the series. Our heroes have to take their happy moments when they can get them. The Team, now scattered, became a question mark. This world cannot afford uncertainty surrounding its heroes. We saw their near demise in Mark's absence.

And with a few quick scenes of Mark's loved ones, we're of where he's most vulnerable.

This brings me to my favorite aspect of the episode:

- The Fiction inside the fiction -

This will always be one of my favorite methods of storytelling. Seeing characters in fiction read or watch their own fiction lets us see how they relate to their world. Sometimes it's done through myths and legends. Sometimes in other clever ways...

When Mark receives a box of science fiction stories (stories written by his father) we are able to more directly relate to the character.

This look of wonder and skepticism on his face. This is all of us...

My father introduced me to Star Wars. He had the original trilogy on VHS tapes. He recorded the movies when one of the major networks aired them without commercials. I wore those tapes out, watching until my imagination expanded to the vastness of any epic tale; spilling over into my daily life sunshine I could carry in my pockets.

At this moment in the show, I am Mark. I'm sitting on my bed, hearing my father's voice as the story plays out on the pages and in my mind. And I'd wager, I'm not the only one.

In dramatic fashion, we now get to go on the journey inside this new universe. This fiction within a fiction is crucial as it becomes the notion of creation from the perspective of beings we know to be created. How funny is that. Funnier still, to Mark this tale plays as cinema. Whereas to us, it's still animated; which is a wild concept when thinking of sentience.

Even the title 'The Man with the Invincible Gun' ...feels like foreshadowing to me.

*****SPOILERS for SEASON 2: EPISODE 6*****

I'm sure most of you caught on quick, realizing that these stories are based on Mark's Father's real adventures. I think it's funny seeing a character like Mark, superhero, space traveler, one of the strongest beings in the Universe, forget all that, and lose himself in the story. Again, this character trait displays Mark's humanity. Of course, he eventually realizes that these stories are far from lore.

Knowing his father, it's probably safe to assume these were not heroic journeys of an idealistic space explorer. More than likely they were unsuccessful Viltrumite invasions of unsuspecting alien inhabitants. I also think we'll at some point get to meet some of these aliens and learn the truth of these encounters. But still, it's fun to dream.

This episode makes me want to read a good book...

It also makes me want to write. It's been a while since I've done that either.

A few more things. Seeing the Seth Rogan alien makes me wonder when I'm going to be able to hear him as his own character because every time he talks, all I hear is Seth Rogan. His is the only character that does that to me. I'm hoping my brain eventually adjusts.

Also, let's readdress the title screen.

What does it mean this season? In Season 1, the answer felt obvious. The blood splattered across the title showed the surprising violence of the heroes world, which slowly dragged Mark deeper into its depths. In this season, the classic 'Invincible' logo cracks away to reveal a red one.

What's the meaning, I wonder. Mark might be one bad event away from turning into Omniman, a true Viltrumite warrior, like the Mark of the other Universe. And speaking of other Universes...

Our friend Giant-Brain-Outside-My-Body-Man returns to get a bespoke suit from a tailor with four arms.

This tells me that no matter the universe, timeline, or year, nothing feels better than wearing a fresh new suit. We also get to see him do a little multi-dimensional hopping.

I wonder which Universe this could be...

Cryston

#sunyot #sunyotmedia #invincible #nolan grayson #omni man #debbie grayson #invincible show #viltrumite #amazon #amazon prime #amazon prime video #prime video #robert kirkman #tv stills #steven yeun #invincible season 2 #invincible spoilers

19 notes · View notes

possumcollege · 22 days

Note

I dont know how it took me till you posted that most recent sole survivor art to learn you were a fallout enjoyed, it fills me with joy. Fave companion/storyline?

Of the main companions, I think my favorites are Dogmeat, Nick, and Piper, but I've probably brought Ada along more than anyone.

I really love the character of this robot, built by a band of survivors from spare parts, developing attachments and feelings. I appreciate her trying to square the conflicting input of grief and justice at the point where neither really fixes anything unless the root of that injury is repaired. Ada's friends died because the robots programming was flawed and lacked the ability to see struggling humans as viable, not because Isabel wanted them to kill. At that point, killing her would be cathartic but it punishes her for a mistake she rekt didn't intend and lowers us to the level of the other wasteland factions who perpetuate the broken exterminationist view of conflict. It lets Ada continue to grow as a living being in spite of her loss and status as a robot. It's something I love about Ada in my interpretation that I felt was lacking in my impression of Curie.

The game wants to give us a romanceable female synth who is even less experienced than we are, so porting a robot's memory into a "human" works but that's a bit cheap for my taste. I don't dislike Curie but I would've enjoyed the option to help her realize a human body wasn't strictly necessary to help people. Developing the "humanity" in a machine feels more in line with rebuilding a better world than finding ways to eliminate the anthropocentric limitations of machines in a world where they can be fully sentient.

And yes, I think you should still be able to romance Robot Curie. It seems to work for Mr. Zwicky and Miss Edna! I think that's sweet and let's be play this as a world where people realize joy is precious wherever you find it instead of queueing up Curie's emergent personality. We see plenty of other robots with fully functional autonomous identities. The ability to accept them for who they are and can become in spite of their origins is a wonderful aspect of the world for me.

In general, I like keeping folks around and trying to give them another chance to make a go of it in the Commonwealth without the Institute or the Brotherhood trying to pull the strings from above or below. I try not to kill anyone I know I don't have to unless they're going to keep trying to kill me.

I've destroyed the Prydwen and the Institute every time, but I wish there could've been opportunities to bring a few BOS characters over to my side in the process, Proctor Ingram, in particular. I also like that there are hard choices to make though, that characters you would want to join you can just have incompatible ideology and loyalty.

For the game's sake I back the minutemen and the Railroad, but ideologically, the Atom Cats are my "faction" of choice. They're good people, hacking out a place for themselves, putting their skills to less genocidal use, and trying to bring a bit of light and beauty to their little peninsula. They watch out for their friends and neighbors. They ain't so keen on exterminating anything in particular. They aren't looking to rule over anything in spite of their impressive power armor skills. My favorite outfit these days is the armored AC jacket and modded Mechanist helmet.

Far Harbor has some great missions too. The hotel murder mystery is a hoot and the settlement locations offer a lot to play with. I try to strike a live-and-let-live balance there too, preserving the synth refuge, Far Harbor, and the CoA if I can help it. I never rat them out to the BoS. The memory-retrieval mini game missions are miserable though! It glitched out on my first playthrough and I couldn't finish it before my PS4 died.

Favorite settlements are probably vault 88, the Starlite drive-in (makes a fanatic multistory apartment base), Spectacle Island, Abernathy farm, Egret Tours Marina, the lumber mill, Outpost Zimonja, Greygarden, and the lighthouse. I'm a fan of modding-off the build limits and resource cheats so I can build elaborate apartment blocks out of scaffolding, warehouse bits and vault pieces. I can't get enough of encasing ruined buildings in larger buildings like warehouses or vault atrium assets too. After a while, the settlement building becomes my favorite aspect of the game after the story and world-building.

#possumcollege #fallout 4 #fallout #automatron #far harbor

11 notes · View notes

babacontainsmultitudes · 1 year

Note

Heya Baba! <3 I remember you mentioned Lark and Grant recently and I would love to know more!! So Lark/Grant for the ship bingo :)

😊🌸 Hiya Countless!!! Eheh y'know, I have this awful habit of putting off answering your asks specifically because I want to be especially thorough with them... And consequently not getting to answering them 😅😓. Like, I HAVE NOT forgotten about the music one LOL one day I will answer it I fucking swear!!!

Anyways, oooh, well rad of you to express interest in this one! I'll try my best!

(eheh also fair warning I'm a tad drunk eheheh but hopefully this will still be reasonably comprehensible? Just to say that I might be a bit extra all over the place but I'm trying my best ahaha. Also cheers lol 🍻💜)

(My second bingo I think? I'm too lazy to mark them lol)

Okay so the thing is, in my head I know exactly how I want this ship to play out and what it means to me... But putting that into words? Quite difficult actually!

I've been like, silently obsessing over these two for the past few months actually. I did this to myself? It was an accident?? I have this non-magical AU road trip fic for them that I've been rotating around for the longest time and have been *dying* to write, so I guess that's what a lot of my thoughts have centered around! That said, if I could explain the appeal more generally...

*Well*, as far as ships I feel strongly positive about go, this one is... Definitely one of the most unapologetically toxic ones tbh? Not as the end game for them! Rather, usually when these two play out in my head it sorta starts as two people with a lot of conflict between them (perhaps cause they're so similar in a lot of ways), who ultimately come to understand each other very well and grow as a result. Does that make sense? I think they make each other worse, and *then* they make each other better.

So what is it about them? Well... It's a bit hard to place actually! I would say that near its core, their relationship to me is very much defined by its physicality. Which I guess I mean from a number of angles (eheh including the sexual side sure but I'll spare you that dw I'll spare you from that LOL). For one there's... Something very physical about both of their most core traumas (the pyramid, the chimera) that to me separates these two from the rest of the other kid(dad)s? Similarly, and perhaps related to this, they certainly have a relationship with physical violence that is unlike the others as well, wherein it tends to be more of a pleasure or source of catharsis rather than purely being a necessary evil. Obviously in Grant's case this takes on a particularly dark tone, but still I think Lark's violent disposition is apparent and important enough.

I'll go back to all of that shortly but as a side tangent, they both have similar (albeit not identical) habits of shutting down and pushing people away as well? There's a lot of self-loathing, a lot of not believing oneself to be worthy of love, and so on and so forth.

SOOOOOO... I think at first they could be very cold and mean with each other! (Cue that scene in The Staircase when Lark body checks Grant to push past hm like ouch ooo my feelings but also *go on*). Verbal communication only goes so far with either of them, seeing oneself in the other and projecting that self-loathing onto them in the form of hate... It's a recipe for disaster tbh.

So... They fight! Especially like, physically, they fight. And... It's great? For both of them. It's an outlet, it's cathartic, and when it's just the two of them like this they can be shameless about it! <- That last part is important, for both of them but especially for Grant I think.

>> Now playing: "A Kiss With a Fist" by Florence and the Machine >>

And I think with time they learn to be more open with one another in other ways? As I mentioned earlier, their traumas bear a lot of similarities, among other things, so I think that once they reach this point there's this level of understanding between them that they haven't really been able to find elsewhere, and in that, probably some comfort. And trust!!!

So they're not really a couple sorta deal for me even if some of the feelings present might ultimately be romantic? It's more like, they let off some steam, they kiss a bit (or a bit more than a bit), and they love each other in a way that is deep and personal but doesn't require any sort of label, cause words were never what defined them in the first place.

Does any of this make sense??? Did I mention I'm drunk???

Not that this is exactly how it needs to be play out in every iteration of them, either. I guess there's also a lot of hurt/comfort for me with these two. A lot of that has to do with my own headcanons of Lark having PTSD and related symptoms that are quite similar to what Grant goes through, and the mutual understanding that comes with that (in short). And hey, for all the cuts and bruises from their training sessions (and/or consensual roughhousing), there's just as many carefully applied bandages and ice packs afterwards eheheh.

AHA okay this was long oh my goodness. And I still don't feel like I really got what I mean across!

🤔 Honestly, if this explanation turned you *off* from the ship more than anything, that's pretty fair tbh! They're really difficult for me to put into words haha, maybe in fanfiction it would be less off-putting!

Regardless, thank you very much for the ask :3 💜

#I'd have more to say but it would never come out the right way #dndads #I hope this kind of made sense????? Gee I really don't know #dungeons and daddies #grant wilson #lark oak #lark oak garcia #grant x lark #tw ptsd #tw violence #there's lowkey way more wholesome shit for these two in my head than this description would lead one to believe I think #gee why is it so hard with them haha #I hope this was kinda interesting at the very least Countless!

15 notes · View notes

shuuji-thoughts · 2 months

Text

on Go - Isao Yukisada (2001)

Initial Impressions

Having absolutely loved Yosuke Kubozuka's performance in IWGP, the greatest show of all time, I was extremely excited to see him in this and it certainly did not disappoint. It has almost exactly the same kind of late '90s/ early 2000s energy that I loved that show for, although in a slightly different flavor. The quick cuts, the random speed-ups, the random violence, the sense of humor, etc etc, I love it all so much. And of course, Kobuzuka's performance here cannot be understated, the man is such a fucking vibe. If I had a spirit animal it would be him 100%.

Further Critique

The main thing that impressed me about this film was just how many directions it managed to go and just how many things it covered during its runtime. This did kinda make it feel a bit all over the place at times, but I felt like the variety was appropriate considering the complexity of the topic matter. For example, the father was a bit of a confusing character for me at first, as I couldn't quite figure out what the film was trying to get across by spending so much time focused on him, but by the end it was clear that he was just as relevant to the message of the film as Sugihara was, even if he is kind of a piece of shit at times. Another thing that felt a little weird at first was Sakurai kinda just literally being a manic pixie dream girl, which is why I was so fucking happy her character took the direction it did because I feared she would end up feeling a little too fake and kinda bring the film down, but luckily I was totally wrong there.

On that note, there were so many fucking amazing scenes in this film, namely the confession scene, the following scene with the copper, and that last confrontation scene. The confession scene in particular hit me really fucking hard because I could totally feel the awkward, confused feelings of both characters, conflicted between their own desires and the convoluted and complicated rules surrounding their identities. When she says whatever it was along the lines of "I understand in my head, but my body is rejecting you", it hit like a truck. It is fucking insane how social conditioning and shit gets totally absorbed into your subconscious to the point where even if you understand what's wrong with it, it still takes a crazy amount of effort to consciously resist it. I also thought it was revealing how the first thing Sugihara said when coming out to her wasn't like "My dad's from North Korea", it was "I'm not Japanese", despite the fact that the dude was born and raised there, spoke the language fluently, and could easily pass as Japanese in his everyday life if he wanted to. I thought this was a brilliant writing choice as it alludes to the real crux of the issue here, that being the exclusive nature of the title of "Japanese". No matter what he does, he will never not be seen as something "different" in Japan, purely because of his blood ties. The reverse would also be the case if he were to go to Korea, as evident by his time at the Chosen school, where he was considered a race traitor. No matter where he goes, he will always be defined by what he isn't. This is what made that final confrontation scene with Sakurai so damn powerful. Kubozuka delivered his lines with so much goddamn passion, it felt genuinely cathartic after seeing everything he'd gone through. With lines like, “Lions don’t call themselves lions, you gave them that fucking name” and, “I’m a fucking question mark”, etc, this scene was genuinely so fucking good. Alright, I'll stop gushing now lol. 8/10

#japanese film

2 notes · View notes

emodialisse · 11 months

Text

The guy from GamingWins really gets me, used a whole video just analyze the stupid little details that I tend to notice too.

Not sure about hater, but yeah, it's a bit sad. But at the "bright side" Doc Ock and Spider-Man's origin stories had a bit of instinct to it since the beginning (get it? Animal analogy, hah), both suffered from a radioactive accident that changed their lives but decided to follow their own path after that. And it's amazing how the game managed to bring this together rather than just implying like the comics did.

The exception is that one Tom DeFalco story where he decided to write Otto as someone who views his and Spider-Man's conflict like a cord primal thread to hold their relationship together, something that gives him purpose, to look forward to the next day.

Like Scott Snyder said in a comic con panel on his story "Death in the Family" that Joker sees Batman and him as "these two halves where he says, you love me the way I love you, and they're essential parts of one conflict and it's the only conflict that matters in Joker's mind".

So the game offers us a chance to connect with their relationship, through their mutual project together. And makes sense that said project will always mean something to them even though the concept is deep covered in many layers of hate and regret.

Yuri Lowenthal is really the perfect Peter Parker voice imo. And yet he's totally humble about it. He said in one episode of the podcast Super Conversations With Hero Mentor that he felt "terrified about playing the part and wake up everyday feeling like he was going to screw up something".

I saw many people compare this scene to Far Cry lol. Anyway, it's one of my favorite sections from the game and I have the dialogue between Otto and Peter memorized because I tried to find this full scene in other gameplays.

It's really on the nose, but I love how the sequence changes when we go further into Peter's self degrading subconscious, Bill Salyers voice acting as Doc Ock and my boy Scorpion being a creep.

I think takeout's on Otto, and Peter brings the coffee. He knows the place well, it's the Coffee Bean after all, they give him a good discount.

He gets my humor too. Call me later?

If I stop to talk about this I will get a little Pepe Silva insane, yeah. Like the first scene with Otto, he gets off the power damperer and Peter scorts him away from it, the camera pans out and instead focus on these two as to say "this is their story, yeah the Octopus arms are a product of it but give your attention to these two first".

Or when Otto first rises with the help of his arms, he prefers to hover over Peter instead of talking to an eye level, because when he does it's to give Peter false reassurance. Otto thinks his place is above everyone else, which is why is cathartic to him "for the first time in my life, I don't feel like a failure, I feel like me".

Or the many moments the camera goes back and forth to Peter and Otto like they have some sort of synergy together. Anyway, you get my point.

"I have a father, his name was Ben Parker" lol, sorry. Look, I'm not gonna call out anyone, this just my opinion, but I don't understand why people would view Otto as a father figure to Peter. It's a bit cheeky coming from the guy who ships them, I know. But it's not because of some personal vendetta I have against the trope or fanon headcanons, I just don't see the appeal. Their relationship is already pretty interesting how it is portrayed in comics and I don't think a father/son connection really brings much to the table except being pretty boring.

What I see in their relationship is something entirely transactional, until they start to see each other beyond employer and emoloyee. Otto is a very lonely guy, companionship is important to us dumb humans, so he would love to have someone like Peter to take care of to some extent, to share his knowledge, etc, someone he can be close to.

I kind of get it how the writers twisted some screws to throw in a father/son dynamic, just like Spider-Man 2 did. Not gonna try to argue against it, it's just my preference to think of them as friends and enemies with some benefits. Not saying I'm not into that father/son shit, but it's in the gross way. Sorry not sorry.

So, on the topic of their friendship imma show you another guy, this time WritingOnGames, who sums everything I said better than I can articulate here.

(Meme not exclusive from the video)

Otto has stated in an audio draft from the game that he doesn't want Peter to think he's his assistant, but his equal partner.

Although, there's still that invisible barrier, right? I don't think they use to hang out, that's for future fics I didn't finish writing, but I'm certain their socializing takes place mostly through phone calls, e-mails and their Brokeback Lab. He's Peter's boss anyway.

But the way they met was very unusual. Otto didn't even have an internship program, he just followed the word of an old friend (May).

He took interest in Peter and so they spent two years together and have shared many personal stories and dreams with each other. Peter is aware of Otto's habits and personality and vice versa:

Couldn't have said it better myself.

It shows their relationship doesn't revolve just around their work.

And once he finds out Peter is Spider-Man, he doesn't anchor himself on Peter's superiority to humankind right away. He did that later to prove his point right, to make Peter stick to his side.

Otto genuinely shows appreciation for Peter's efforts and genius, but he also admires his good will to do the right thing. In return, Peter strives to make Otto proud of him, but also wants to protect Otto from himself. Which is why he walked so many lengths just to try to take back the Otto he once knew, because it's better if he hears Otto says it was just a miscalculation, right?

Peter knows Otto did wrong to him and everyone else in New York, but still wanted to talk some sense to him, even though Otto insisted he was doing it for the greater good. They're weird, complicated and I love them.

#otto octavius #peter parker #spider man #octospider #what was the purpose of this post again #dia talks #spider man insomniac #marvels spider man

13 notes · View notes

luna-rainbow · 1 year

Note

Hi! For the trope game, how about:

Darkfic

Fuck or Die

Established Relationship

I see where your kink is anon 😏

Argh tumblr deleted my entire post again

Darkfics: most of the iconic early Danmei stories on rec lists were darkfics, so I’ve read my fair share. For me though, angst is cathartic, and I’d rather be writing my own (it’s about the control 🙈) than read something without knowing where it’s going. Otherwise, I tend to only pick up darkfics from authors I trust, because sometimes the writing can be fantastic but it’s just not quite the flavour you want.

Fuck or die: Not my kink 😂 It’s not going to stop me if it’s in the middle of a long story, but I probably wouldn’t click on one-shots tagged with this. What makes and breaks it would be how the dubcon aspect is dealt with by the characters after the fact (it’s about the after care!)

Established relationship: I think this trope really tests the writer. How do you take a loving couple and give them a believable conflict, have them approach it in a way that feels true to their personalities, build a conflict that again feels true to their beliefs but somehow doesn’t break the relationship (they can’t be so similar that the conflict doesn’t build, but they also can’t be so different you question how they can get together in the first place), and eventually resolves through mutual personal growth. It’s great when done well but I do think it’s harder to do than the meet and get-together.

Alternatively it could just be 50k words of fluff which is fine too 😂

#asks #writing #tropes

15 notes · View notes

evelhak · 3 months

Note

Well, you asked for it ;)

2, 16, 22, 33, 39, 63, 71

I guess I did. I wish I could return some questions, though. ;)

2. How old are you?

I am sweet 30. And since that's a disappointingly short answer, let me reflect a bit. It's so weird, because before I really became active on tumblr again last year, it never would have even occurred to me that someone would question my presence in a fandom because I'm too old?? (Especially because 30 is still quite young as a human being, and culturally even younger than it was some time ago...) Maybe I just wasn't in the right places, but I honestly never saw it happen before, and all of a sudden I was witnessing and getting really unfair hate because... my brain is fully developed, and I've been around the sun more times than a teenager? Well, the way I see it, and this might not be what some KnB fandom teens want to hear, the characters are now the same age as me, or a year older, depending on how you look at it. Yes, they aged with me in my brain, and that's just as valid a take as pretending fictional characters are forever the age they are in canon. And by the way, you don't lose the right to reflect on your past as you get older, or to vibe with characters who are the age you were in that past and going through similar struggles. This should not be a threat to anyone, this should be a comforting thought. I know I'm preaching to the choir, writing this here, but it's almost every day that I see something that makes it relevant to keep saying these things.

16. Favourite movie?

This is always such a hard question. I have several, but since I have to pick one, let's go with The Railway Man this time. It's different to my other favourites because I've only seen it once, and I can't bring myself to watch it again, because the torture scenes are too much for me to handle. But I think about it constantly. It's based on the true story of a man who initially plans to hunt down his torturer from WWII, but is able to forgive him instead, and hear and understand his side of the war experiences, and his guilt. Not only do they accept each other's apologies, the two become life-long friends. This is by far the most cathartic movie I have ever seen in my life. I cried in my room for an hour after watching it. It simultaneously contains the worst and the best humanity is capable of, and that's what makes it so special, and I'm tearing up now just writing this. Especially because it's based on a true story, this movie is such a lighthouse to me, because it's proof that love and forgiveness and healing beyond comprehension do exist, and I'm not a fool to believe in it, no matter the circumstances.

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law?

No, I don't think so, by any stretch of imagination. The closest would be me keeping my drunk friends from getting in trouble, by preventing them from picking a fight with a security guard.

33. What do you typically have for breakfast?

A smoothie, an avocado toast, and (decaf) coffee (because caffeine gives me panic attacks). Yes, I am such a basic millennial.

39. Do you have any scars?

Yes, many, but most of them are very small. I don't have any interesting stories about them. Ran into something, got hit by something, surgery. Normal things.

63. Biggest Fear?

Losing everyone I love, or a slow and painful death. I don't want to engage my imagination there, but if you imagine the most painful thing that could happen to a human in general, emotionally and physically, for the love of god, don't tell me what it is, but that's probably my worst fear.

71. What makes you nervous?

Being observed closely while I'm doing something for the purpose of evaluation. Having to get something right on the first try. Performing anything physical for the first time. Those job interviews where you have to pretend your interviewers are your students, audience, or clients. Having to advocate for my personal needs, when they are in conflict with the interest of the other person and especially a group. Anything where I have to make sure I'm seen and heard.

Thanks, this was both fun and emotional to reflect on. ♥︎

#ask game

3 notes · View notes

mischief-and-tea-by-the-sea · 4 months

Note

🌍, 🖍, ♻️, 🤔, 🛠

🌍What tags or warnings will your / one of your wip(s) need if you intend to share it?

From Wantons light of heart Pt 3: "To see you eat in the middle of the night (It's Friday I'm in love)" - Some of my tags will be Return of Memories of Mental/Physical Rape, Mental Manipulation, Telepathic Control, Mental Rape, Mental Control Led to Non-Consensual Sex (or Rape). [That one will need work on the wording. But either way, there'll be no ambiguous bullshit about it. There'll be no instructions to the readers that they must NOT read the mental control used to make a guy have sex with the chick (the one who used the mental control on him in the first place) as NOT rape. None of that bullshit.

🖍Post Any sentence from your wip

From Half past four and shifting gear (Part of the Juslo 'verse, and yeah, it's more than just a sentence, sue me):

Tony moved carefully away from the creeper so he didn’t trip and ate up the distance between them in just a few steps. He tossed the rag onto the workbench, aiming away from the sketchbook. Steve reached for his hand then and brought it to his lips, kissing gently over the scraped knuckle, bringing out a sweet smile from Tony. “My hero,” Tony cooed.

♻️A scrapped idea for your current WIP

From the Hemispheres series - Not sure how much of this is a scrapped idea or just what I'm still struggling with, but given how much of canon this series utilizes (and also changes), I haven't decided what I'm doing about Ultron yet or if that's just going to not even be a thing. It'll determine how much of the Wanda storyline will get used or how much of it will be used to exploit things I wanted to see with her and how they deal with her, and that's still just super up in the air, which is fine because I haven't even reached the Bucky aspects of that story yet.

🤔What’s a story you’d love to write but haven’t even started yet?

For the Is this a Dagger? series, I really can't wait to tackle the Bucky/Loki 50 States road trip part of the story. I'm looking forward to describing the good food they eat in each state followed by the worst food they eat in each state. It'll be almost like a season of Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives but with Bucky and Loki making out in between all the food discoveries and potential bad guy conflicts they end up dealing with along the way.

🛠Is there a scene or anything in the WIP you are struggling with right now?

Right now, I'm just struggling with the brain goblins who are tired from all the Yule 2023 fics I wrote and posted in a month-ish time. Everything feels like a struggle just to get words on the page at the moment. Actual WIPs, though, well, in Wantons Part 3, I know that I'll be dealing with some heavy themes (as attested to by the tags I mentioned up there), and I think since I usually don't write fics with those (outside of rp writing), I'm feeling hesitant over how I want to write it. I know what I'm doing with it essentially and the aftermath of it, and ultimately because the perpetrator of those tags is a character I hate with a fiery passion, so it's going to be cathartic as fuck when they finally deal with her, and then that character really won't have a place again in that story. It's just the lead-up to it and making it work in enough of a punch to the gut kinda way that's just out of reach.

Thanks for the asks!

Writer Procrastination Asks.

#Writer Procrastination Asks #stormxpadme #Thanks for the asks!

3 notes · View notes

los-ninos-tortugas · 7 months

Text

Shooting this off real quick before I get back to schoolwork but it’s kinda fun to think of hypothetical scenarios where instead of Donnie, one of the other brothers ends up on Voyager. Donnie gets the Voyager treatment because to me it makes the most sense (i.e. I am constantly rotating him in my brain) but I still can’t stop myself from going through the what-if’s.

Raph is very interesting in this scenario because 1) if he starts out in the same place I put Donnie (i.e. random desert planet) then there is the chance that Voyager crew might find him while he’s Savage Raph and it would probably take a decent amount of convincing for him to come back to himself. But from there on you have Raph, a gentle giant getting used to life on a ship where probably for the first time in his life he feels a little too big. He would still find Voyager to be incredibly cool though, although more in the way that he’s a fan of Jupiter Jim and sci-fi than actually being super interested in the tech itself like Donnie is. I think Raph would probably idolize Janeway quite a bit in a way that, at first, might make it hard to form a genuine connection, but I think that as time goes on (and as perhaps the gravity of both his and Voyager’s predicament dawns on him) he’ll start to see and appreciate Janeway for who she really is. I also think Raph would make a somewhat unexpected connection with B’Elanna. I feel like these two would click very well on an emotional level you know? I feel like they would just get each other, because they're both characters who struggle with processing their emotions and so everything just kinda gets filtered into anger/aggression. I also think that it would be interesting if they got to explore their feelings on being diaspora together? Because they're both characters who have been severely disconnected from their culture/heritage in some way (B'Elanna with her rejection of everything Klingon in the face of her father's abandonment. And Raph with having his Hamato heritage kept from him by his father) and I always felt like B'Elanna never really got super healthy or satisfying way to explore the Klingon side of herself in the show so maybe getting to talk it through with someone who has literally no preconceived notions about her heritage, and Raph getting to talk through his probably very complicated feelings about the things his father hid from him could be something interesting for them to do together.

Then there's Leo (don't look out the window. don't look out the window. it's fine it's fine. you're in space and it's cool. you're not there.) He would definitely find Voyager to be very impressive, and I think very much like Raph he would idolize Janeway when he first meets her, though I think he would break out of that idolization a lot faster than Raph, and especially once he actually hears the story of how Voyager got stranded in the Delta quadrant. It would be incredibly conflicting for him to say the least, I think, to find out that there's something about Janeway that so closely mirrors probably the one thing he's most ashamed of. At least it would to his mind, and Janeway certainly has a guilt complex about the likes of which are usually given to Leo in most fanfics, but I still think he would see her as the kind of leader he would want to be, and he'd probably not so subtly try to probe her for advice, which I think would eventually lead them down the rabbit whole a very meaningful conversation about the choices/mistakes they've made. It would be really cathartic for them both. In the same vein of unexpected friendships/some misplaced idolization, I just know that Leo would be following Tom around like a duckling. A starship pilot who's funny, likes corny sci-fi and cartoons, and is the ship's secondary medic? It's like this guy was made for Leo to like him. Tom has the sort of "rebel without a cause" flair that Leo wishes he had. But at the same time Tom is sort of... rudderless? Before he and B'Elanna get married (and even a little bit after but less so) Tom struggles a lot with who he is vs. what his duties on Voyager need him to be (and if you know Tom's full backstory you know why this is). And now there's this kid around who just thinks he is like the coolest guy ever. And either Tom is gonna get the most annoying ego boost out of it or he's gonna think about this persona he's been projecting for the past 4.5 years for more than .02 seconds for once and have a whole ass identity crisis about it (and then Leo gets to have an identity crisis about it cuz, "wait? carefree attitude fake? he cares about everything so much all the goddamn time? oh no not again I have recognized myself in the other FUCK).

Mikey is straight chillin. (I'm sorry even in meta theory Mikey is hard for me to write I'm trying I swear T-T) Okay well, actually now that I've thought about it for a minute I realize that he probably super wouldn't be, because unlike with the rest of the boys, who kind of are surrendered to the fact that they have to wait for Voyager to find a scientific way to get them home, Mikey would probably feel a lot of (self imposed) pressure to get himself home and probably get continually frustrated the longer he can't do it on his own. It'd probably be straight up enraging for him if it got to a point where the Doctor medically forbids Mikey from attempting to make himself a portal home because he keeps injuring himself in the process. But still, ever the eternal optimist he'll still find ways to enjoy his time on Voyager even if he is frustrated about his circumstances. You just know that he's always down in the kitchen with Neelix cooking up alien recipes and loving it (and not for nothing, the crew does appreciate having someone who can accurately remake recipes from earth). I honestly think Neelix and Mikey would get along super well, and have a sort of laid back mentor & mentee relationship. I think more than anything Mikey would really enjoy the exploration aspect of Voyager, both for "whoa cool alien planets" but also I think it really gels with his own belief in finding the good in everything. Voyager is in a tough situation but the crew isn't giving up who they are in the process of getting home, and I think that's something Mikey would really admire.

hmm okay that's all I can think of on this right now.

#set a course for home #rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt au #rottmnt crossover #rottmnt leo #rottmnt donnie #rottmnt raph #rottmnt mikey #star trek voyager #star trek fic #star trek crossover #captain janeway #neelix #b'elanna torres #tom paris #katnip talks #katnip writes

3 notes · View notes

whumppmuhw · 6 months

Text

morally conflicted whumper

contains: moral issues, electric chair/electrocution, torture devices mention, restraints, torture mention, interrogation mention, death wish, implied death threat, lady whump

so basically what if whumper didn't like whump (but had to do it anyways. I'm emotionally whumping the whumper)

yeah I don't have a name for the other character so X it is

...

"Whumper! Good to see you!" X grinned as they set down the device they were working on. Their cheerful face was in direct contrast to Whumper's disheartened frown and cheerless body language.

"Yeah, good to see you too." He was sincere, and both of them knew it, but it had a grumpy, dismissive tone.

"Why the sad face? Are things not going well for Whumpee?"

"She doesn't like it here, and wishes daily that she could get out. She says that things are unfair, and that this never should have happened to her. Every time she looks in the mirror, she sees a shell of who she used to be. She's depressed, but can't do anything about it."

X had known their friend for a long time, and knew when something was going on. Whumper was never direct about his problems, and would rather avoid talking about them entirely, but his expressions and mannerisms would always give it away. "You're not talking about Whumpee," they accused.

"Mhm."

"How's she really doing? More importantly, how are you doing?"

Whumper decided to focus on the first question, and skip the second altogether. "Fine, I guess. Your electric chair is very effective, and I've been able to get a lot of information out of her."

X didn't show their prideful grin, though they loved hearing good things about their torture devices. "What's her day-to-day like?"

"She sleeps on the floor, no blanket, no nothing, in a cell with her ankle chained to the wall. She gets meals twice a day, and water every waking hour. Mostly I use the electric chair on her, she can't stand being electrocuted, but occasionally I'll use other things on her to mix it up."

Whumper sighed, and X didn't reply, allowing Whumper to continue.

"Don't tell anyone this, but I hate seeing her like that. I hate the way they make me treat her. I hate the way they treat me." He was pacing in a circle now, on a roll. "I don't want to be mean to her. I hate the sound of her screams. Every time she's defiant, I want to take her side, but I can't, so I hit her just to make her shut up. I don't like that either, but I don't want to face the problems. And the bad part is, she'll only ever remember me as the bad guy. I wish they never would have given me this job. You would do much better at it than I am. Hell, anyone would."

"A lot of the others seem to enjoy it. They say stepping into the role of interrogator and torturer can be really cathartic."

"Well, I'm not the others, am I?"

"No, and I get where you're coming from. The role isn't for everyone."

"What would you do if they called you to do it?"

"I'd have to take it, you know that, but...I don't know. Maybe it'd be fun."

"Bunch of sickos," Whumper muttered under his breath.

"Sorry?"

"Nothing. I doesn't matter."

Still, X could see the pent up anger boiling under the surface. "What are you gonna do?"

"I want to leave here."

"They'd kill you."

"Yeah, so what."

"I'd miss you."

Whumper made eye contact with X, and the two thought about what life was like before they came here. Days spent together, laughing and living carefree, before they got wrapped up in this hell. X was having a much better time adjusting than Whumper, and even found their job enjoyable - designing and creating machines meant to break anybody in myriad ways. All Whumper longed for was his old life, something he'd never have again.

"Tell you what," X proposed. "You've almost got everything you need out of Whumpee, right? Once you're done with her, I'll request you come work here with me. I can't say it'll ease your moral qualms entirely, but they'll likely never call you to do it again. And if they do, I'll ask to take your place."

"That'd...be better," and Whumper smiled a small smile, which quickly turned to a frown. "You'd...want to take my place?"

"I'd have a better time with it than you would, yeah."

"You enjoy hurting people?"

"I make all of these devices, don't I?" X sighed, and Whumper almost seemed offended. "Listen, Whumper, things aren't like the way they used to be. I-"

"No," Whumper cut off. "No, you-you used to be good, but you're just like them- I can't, I can't believe you..." He turned to leave, shaking his head, voice wavering.

"Where are you going?" X yelled, but they weren't acknowledged. All they could hope for was that Whumper would do anything that lead him to a fate worse than Whumpee.

#mine #whump #whump writing #morally conflicted whumper #electric chair #electrocution tw #torture tw #restraints tw #interrogation tw #death wish tw #implied death threat #lady whump

3 notes · View notes

mermaidsirennikita · 8 months

Text

ARC Review: Friends Don't Fall in Love by Erin Hahn

4.25/5. Releases 10/17/2023.

Vibes: country music, BIG PINING, heroes who really really love to go down, and... its always the quiet ones

Craig Boseman (or "Huck", as he's known to one person in particular) writes hits for his friend, country star Drake Colter, with little to no credit. He let it go--until Lorelai Jones, Drake's fiancee, is canceled for singing a protest song and is promptly dumped by Drake. After sharing one night together, Craig and Lorelai go their separate ways... until they reconnect years later. Now Lorelai wants to take another shot at country stardom. And she needs Craig's help.

Friends to lovers is a challenge to make exciting, but I was drawn in by how quickly this book establishes the emotional stakes. I understood why Craig didn't make a move immediately; it made sense to me. Plus, he and Lorelai were such charming characters with strong, believable chemistry--I just wanted to see what they did next. The result is a hot, sweet, sometimes cathartic romcom. And you don't have to be a country fan to enjoy it.

Quick Takes:

--The thing about Craig and Lorelai's relationship is that while they are "friends" when the book begins, the sexual and romantic tension is there immediately. It's there that first night, when they drunkenly hook up after Lorelai's career and relationship implodes. It's there when they exist as regular old platonic friends--and mind you, they're practically roommates as Lorelai rents one half of a duplex from Craig. It never feels like these people miss one another's appeal. They don't suddenly wake up and see each other "in a different way". The connection and attraction was always there. But Craig understandably didn't feel he could make a move when Lorelai was with Drake (a classic setup if there ever was one) and Lorelai... wasn't ready, in my opinion.

--Honestly, despite being a nice girl with her heart in the right place (Lorelai's cancellation is linked to protesting the second amendment--a big no no for country singers) Lorelai is refreshingly flawed and human. While she isn't immature, she is perhaps a bit emotionally stunted, not prepared to accept Craig's feelings until he is so certain that she couldn't possibly want him the way he wants her. Their conflict is less about either one majorly fucking up than it is about two people who've put off giving a relationship a chance for so long that when the tension finally snaps, they really don't trust it. I found this super compelling, and as a sidebar, I really loved that they were in their thirties. They didn't have their shit together 100%, but there was a marked difference to the way they handled their emotions that first night and the way they confronted their feelings with years of experience later.

I will say that towards the end I could've used a little more conflict, but that's because I'm a conflict queen. By no means is this book angst-free or without drama.

--One thing I really enjoyed about this book was the sense of friendship? Often, I feel that friends are just there to be there in a lot of recently published romances. Here, the girl talk especially really seemed authentic. There's one scene wherein Lorelai is essentially recapping a recent hookup with Craig, and it's so fucking messy. Because she is BEING messy. And it's both genuinely hilarious and emotional. It felt like a conversation I would have with my friends, and I so appreciated it.

--For the record, his name is Craig, but Lorelai nicknamed him "Huck" (more a reference to the line in Tombstone than the book, a SOLID choice). This helps the Craig part. But also, he somehow pulled it off, because he is quite hot.

--How hard does the country music aspect of this book work? It's present enough for it to feel like Hahn knows her shit and put thought into it, but it's not overly heavy. These are not twang-y fake rednecks, which I find a lot in contemporary romances written by people who think the south is So Charming (I say as a southerner). Craig and Lorelai love country music, and Craig does refer to himself (in a derogatory manner) as a "country boy" at some point. But these are clearly both savvy Nashville music scene people. They know what they're about, they're not corny or silly.

And the musicians referenced are a good mix of classic country and new country, which I appreciated. So often, books like these reference people who were famous like 20 years ago but didn't really stand the full test of time. Here, it felt like the author got country music as an industry--and it's a huge one--and while she clearly loves the music, she's not shy about the issues inherent to it.

None of that is like, ROMANTIC but it's an important part of writing a good book. It elevates the story.

The Sex:

Yes--there are good sex scenes in this book. Sex scenes that are extremely focused on cunnilingus--Craig is very into giving, and I was not mad at it. Nor was Lorelai! There's one scene in particular where this man just like... hits the floor. And it is incredibly good. The climactic (in more ways than one) sex scene? So good.

Also, Craig writes erotic poetry. Mostly about eating pussy. And posts it anonymously on Instagram. This level of "aw shucks I'm a normal guy" slutitude was just too much for me in the best possible way. This girl is just scrolling through her friend's pussy poetry Insta, knowing it's him from the jump, SWEATING.

This was a really fun, emotional book that didn't skimp on the relationships or the sex. Again, I usually don't like friends to lovers--so the fact that I enjoyed this one so much is a testament to how engaging it is. I definitely plan on reading more from Erin Hahn.

Thanks to St. Martin's Griffin and Netgalley for providing me with a copy of this book. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

#romance novel blogging #arc reviews #netgalley #book recs #book reviews #books

6 notes · View notes

greenmeanqueen · 2 years

Note

Saw that ask about Targ stans being gleeful over the fact that Alicent's "line" died out and Rhaenyra's got the throne - and I really find that odd. I mean, there seems to be this perception among them that Alicent's kids are not "Targaryens" but Hightowers. For me, aside from the obvious suffering of the realm and small-folk, the actual tragedy of the dance is that it tore a family apart. Everyone knows the, "A Targaryen alone in the world" line, implying the importance of family. In the very first episode of hotd Daemon talks about how their blood is thick, and Viserys himself talks about the importance of sticking together as a unit. The opening lines of the show were literally that the only thing capable of destroying the Targaryens were they themselves. We see it throughout their history: if they had kept tight as a family, they wouldn't have fallen apart the way they did (Aenys and Maegor, the Blackfyres&Bittersteel, Aerys not being etc...).

Besides, I honestly don't get feeling gleeful over a mother's grief, no matter what. I felt awful for Rhaenyra when her sons died (honestly, I don't know how much she would've enjoyed Aegon and Viserys ruling when she lost Jacaerys, Lucerys and Joffrey). I felt awful for Alicent when she outlived her children and grandchildren (that line about how she wanted to see her sons and Helaena was one of the saddest in the book). And I felt awful for the kids themselves (at least, those who were pulled into the conflict not out of their own volition but because of responsibility toward/association with their family; most of them were so young).

thank you for your ask!!

anon, i think that's an excellent insight on stans implying that alicent and her children are not truly "part of the family", and thusly perceived as outsiders and enemies coming to tear the targs down.

and, frankly, that's objectionably simplifying the situation. that's part of the point, that all of these people were supposed to have some sense of loyalty to each other due to the notion of "family", and yet the chaos of choices drove them apart. this is not to say that just because one is "family" one must unconditionally support them, no no. but there were decisions made by people in power that weren't thought through well enough to consider how it would affect descendants down the line (looking at you, jae/haerys and vi/serys). these decisions laid the pieces in place for everything to go wrong, for people to turn on each other and feel like they had to choose a side (or were too young to fully understand what that meant).

i'm just gonna say it: to boil it down to "alicent started the war/dance" is clearing every other player of responsibility, because no, no it wasn't only her (debatably it wasn't her at all). aegon ii would not have gotten as far as he did if his claim was not arguably legitimate, which it was because he was, undeniably, the son of the former king. he was targ/aryen, as were his siblings, as was his mother a targ/aryen queen. they were valid members of the dynasty, whether they wanted to be or not. "othering" them does such a disservice to the story and removes so many layers.

and even if one doesn't like certain characters over others, it still gives off a sour energy to celebrate the suffering of mothers who were neither good nor bad, just people, and mourn children that didn't deserve what happened to them. like, rhaenyra and alicent are messy and all, but they didn't deserve what happened to them either; neither of their downfalls feel cathartic, it's just horrible and sad, and i can't help but contemplate how different things could have been if it weren't for, bluntly, the patriarchy and the men it empowered.

#feel like this is a little all over the place #but you really got me thinking anon i had so many thoughts #still i hope this makes sense!!#anti targ stans #rhaenyra targaryen #alicent hightower #anti viserys i targaryen #anti jaehaerys targaryen #dance of the dragons #the blacks and the greens #fire and blood #hotd #house of the dragon #house of the dragon spoilers #asoiaf #game of thrones #ask a gal

21 notes · View notes

actuallylorelaigilmore · 8 months

Text

2022 MOVIE OF THE WEEK #34

black panther: wakanda forever. after i saw this one, i noted that reviews for it seemed pretty mixed--but i loved it. not because i felt like it was a perfect follow-up to the first one, but because it didn’t try to be that. it couldn’t, so it went in a different direction. and as messy and excessive as i did think it was in parts, pretty much all of those problems to me seemed caused by the curse of the mcu, which i certainly wouldn’t expect any filmmakers inside the system to be able to escape.

what i mean is, this movie had to accomplish three major things all at the same time: honor chadwick boseman’s memory and say goodbye to the beginnings of this series that he established; introduce a new black panther and situate that character in his place, with all the complications that entails; and introduce a new antagonist AND a whole new world that he originates from, that will be incorporated into the mcu going forward. that’s too much for one movie to do well! it just is.

so they do all the things, but it feels obvious the whole time that we are witnessing a new antagonist who isn’t going to be conclusively beaten like killmonger was, and that he isn’t stronger and smarter and more unusual because it actually makes sense for the movie...at least to me, it just felt really forced, them cramming this new marvel world and character into this sequel, to drive their phases of the mcu forward whether it would be what was best for the black panther series or not.

but again, i don’t blame the movie for that--i think it’s well-established by now that any movie that does well enough in the mcu to gain a sequel will be expected to then stretch those sequels to fit whatever unrelated marvel nonsense the corporation has decided needs an introduction. the best they can hope for is to accommodate what’s required of them (to get to make the sequels at all) without completely ruining what made people love the originals enough to wish for sequels in the first place. and given the givens of this movie, which was also going on without its originally intended star, i thought they did okay.

so, a major part of why i loved this movie is that i knew they would have to address the absence of t’challa, but i didn’t know what to expect from them in doing so. i’m especially fond of media that allows characters to die when their actors do, because there’s something really moving and painful and cathartic and honest, when actors are channeling their own grief that way. but in a superhero movie, i could see that being too heavy, so i wouldn’t have been surprised if they did something different.

instead, i basically started crying when the opening title rolled--i was NOT prepared for the marvel logo to be comprised of slices of chadwick-as-t’challa--and then i didn’t really stop, so much as pause for long stretches in between many other moments scenes that had me crying right up through an end credits scene.

this movie is about superheroes, sure, but even less than the first one was--and that one was about politics and family and responsibility and power, not just a guy in a suit who could fight. the biggest reason why i loved this movie is because more than anything, it felt to me like a meditation on grief. and that is probably not what most people wanted from this movie, or what they want from superhero movies in general (i wouldn’t really know), but i was not expecting that at all and i didn’t realize how much i needed it until i was in it.

if you set aside the Big Conflict in this movie between the new antagonist and Wakanda broadly (and the royal family more narrowly, then down to Shuri specifically), it’s just a story about loss and how it impacts all the characters we know and love from the first film--how it changes them, what they do with it, what they learn and how they reach out toward each other in attempts to heal. i found it honestly incredibly heartbreaking when even MORE loss was piled onto shuri during the events of the film, but all the parts of that narrative made sense to me.

it was like, if you sliced out most of the excessive time spent establishing the underwater world and any other villain had achieved the same results in destabilizing wakanda and the family, you’d have a tighter story that stuck to its core point: the black panther was never meant to be just one man. t’challa couldn’t live forever. but t’challa was the center of his world not because he was the black panther anyway; he was beloved for the kind of person he was, and that was a lesson his successor would have to learn in the face of losing him.

so, yeah. i loved everything they did with characters grieving and comforting each other and trying to face a new future after a terrible loss. i was still in the middle of my own grief-induced depression when i saw this, and it meant a lot to me that they did not hold back about any of it...like the movie was a farewell to t’challa and also chadwick but it also kind of felt like an invitation to collectively mourn whatever we all lost during the pandemic, somehow. together.

and beyond that, tbh, i don’t remember much else. i know they also introduced a young female character, but much like the waterworld people, she felt shoehorned in, somebody it was hard to care about when important stuff was happening to the characters i actually came to see. re: the waterworld people, i should say that i didn’t dislike them or this movie’s antagonist--his motivations made sense and and the actor seems cool. he brought depth to his portrayal. marvel is the real villain here! (lol.)

i firmly believe they did both waterworld (i know, i know, it has a real name, but i don’t remember the details a year later and refuse to google them because then it would seem like i did remember) and the black panther world a disservice by introducing it this way. i think if marvel wants to keep their ‘universe’ going until the literal universe dies someday, which seems to be the plan so far, they should be required to introduce the different worlds and major characters in standalone movies, like they started out doing.

if they had done that with this new waterworld, and let black panther 2 be about everyone figuring out how to move forward after t’challa’s death, this movie could have still focused on shuri’s journey and everyone’s grief and wakanda’s ability to stand strong against america and the rest of the world--and it could’ve done so without also needing to adding so many other layers of battles and introductions. that was the only part that really felt messy to me, when the first film was so well-crafted.

other things i can add that i do remember: the fact that waterworld’s initial introduction in this movie feels like a scene from some other genre, and was absolutely terrifying for me (i hate underwater scenes in everything, i have drowning fear); the music was of course great but i expected nothing else; and the performances were (again expectedly) fantastic. this franchise is the kind where basically every character is my fave, so i loved seeing them all in top form again, fighting or offering wisdom or standing strong.

so this is a movie i can only recommend if you’re in the mood to face your feelings about death, and with the awareness that you’re kind of going to be watching two movies in one...which funnily enough the poster hints at, i guess. when i remember watching it, i remember it fondly, which is why i would still recommend it--but i think i remember it that way because in my head it is so sharply separated into ‘black panther things’ and ‘everything else that could’ve been in another movie’ and i really did enjoy it on those separate levels.

#black panther: wakanda forever #2022 motw #chadwick boseman #shuri

4 notes · View notes