#come out real kaz | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

19burstraat · 5 months

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ketterdam dashboard simulator

goedmedbridge420

who up boeking they canal

10,345 notes

drydens follow

I can't believe some of you log on here and thirstpost about barrel vagrants. it makes me so sick. these men are the very pits of society and have never honoured ghezen a day in their lives. there are so many other young men who make their living in a reverent way. have some dignity.

#ghezen #inghezenssight #ghezenhonouring #churchofghezen #handofghezen

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kooperomno1fan

lionsroar12 follow

omg HOW is kaz brekker winning this he's SO problematic he's not even good for the economy he killed members of his own gang and kidnapped councilman van eck's son

dregsundrained

cranky coz your gang fell apart aren't you

17,860 notes

oskervoexchange follow

guys is this a mandela effect or what bc I SWEAR this painting used to be in the university district art museum, I literally saw it this week??? but I went today and it was GONE?????? there wasn't even a plaque?? guys pls I'm so confused why is everyone acting like this is normal for ketterdam? do priceless antiques just VANISH? am I being gaslit?

450 notes

stadhall-clerking

guys I'm so sorry I've been MIA :( I found out that my landlord was using my rent on the staves rather than fixing my black mould problem so I pushed him out the window and told the stadwatch he must have fallen and died because he wasn't honouring ghezen and got away with it. anyway I think maybe the black mould explains the dirtyhands/sturmhond fic I was writing sorry :( but I WILL finish my fairy queen of istamere meta post once I've moved into my new lodging

670 notes

dregsconfessions follow

SUBMISSION: sometimes I lie awake thinking about the time I fell down an entire flight of stairs at the slat when kaz was at the bottom, and he just stared at me (still lying on the floor), and then asked if I'd changed the beer kegs at the silver six yet. GIRL NO?!?!?!

#submission #dregs #dirtyhands #admin comment: laughed so loud my upstairs neighbour threatened to shoot me

546 notes

dregsconfessions follow

ADMIN NOTE: if the razorgulls don't fucking stop sending anon hate to this blog we'll tell dirtyhands n he'll send you your own IP address back

#see what happens you hack job seagulls

500 notes

kerchtourismboard

it's us, the real kerch tourism board, here to tell you what we're putting in the new summer season pamphlet. we got 1) three pages all about kaz brekker that end up being more of an advertisement than a deterrent 2) list of slipperiest spots in the barrel where you will fall over and get a concussion when ur drunk 3) top 10 ways to get your wallet stolen by a child in broad daylight 4) paintings of the komedie brute 5) advert for sten's stockpot 6) map of public toilets

570 notes

kerchtourismboardreal follow

we are not affiliated with any degenerate impersonator accounts who claim to be us. we are the only real kerch tourism account.

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kerchtourismboard-real follow

grafcanal smells like piss and you should bite everyone you see wearing the mister crimson costume

450 notes

stensstockpot follow

it's all 'fuck sten's stockpot' and 'I got food poisoning from the special at sten's stockpot' until you realise you don't have the money for cilla's fry, and then you come CRAWLING back to the loving arms of sten's stockpot and our special. you fucking traitors. you'll be back! you'll all be back

canaljumpings follow

what's in the special sten's stockpot

stensstockpot follow

it's a surprise ;)

bertskerch follow

nah I thought this was the real stens lmao

stensstockpot follow

bert smit you still have 45 kruge to pay on your tab and if you don't cough up we'll send our debtors to break your legs

230 notes

exchangingbabey follow

my grisha girlfriend who still wears a kefta and says things like 'nikolai lantsov is a bastard': ugh they're still debating whether or not the council of tides should be able to control kerch shipping, I hate inter-country politics

me: I think I hauve the queen's lady

4500 notes

(insp) (insp)

#I wasted a full hour making this #six of crows #crooked kingdom #soc duology #kaz brekker #ketterdam #soc #grishaverse #shadow and bone #my post #dashboard simulator

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cammys-imagines24 · 1 year

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• Kaz Brekker Being Jealous •

It should come as no surprise that jealousy with Kaz is a common occurrence. The green eyed monster making it's presence known almost daily.

Even towards others who Kaz knows aren't a threat to your relationship.

It rears it's ugly head whenever he sees others touching you in ways that he cannot.

Such as when Nina kisses your cheeks in greeting or when she takes you on a day of shopping, her being able to see or touch your form as she forces you to try on fancy gowns.

And when Jesper casually drapes an arm around your shoulders or picks you up into a bone crushing hug, twirling you all around.

The envy is prominent then, when Kaz witnesses his own Crows giving you simple intimacies without a second thought. Ones he should effortlessly be giving you and more.

But with Nina and Jesper, Dirtyhands is never resentful towards them for long and can move on as soon as he sees you smile at him.

Or when you show how comfortable you are around him, like after a long day when he sees you relax on the settee in his office or when you carelessly throw your over-clothes around your quarters with him there.

When he sees you so content being in his company he can almost feel slightly grateful to the sharpshooter and heartrender for being there for you in ways he is unable (almost).

Now, let's say you're recieving unwanted attention from a mere Pigeon at the Crow Club? Or even another member of the Dregs? That's where the problem starts.

If anyone, anyone, lays a hand on you without your consent then that's where, as Mathias is apt to call him, the real Demjin shows himself.

See Kaz is very good at threatening people. And when it comes to protecting you, when it comes to the little green eyed monster inside his head, he even gets great satisfaction out of torture if necessary.

For instance, say some seedy bloke is staring at you too much for too long, well Kaz might just have to gouge out his eyes so he can never look again.

A hand finds it's way to grope your hips, ass or chest? Kaz deems it appropriate that the offender should just have said hand cut off.

There is a reason why you feel safe walking even the shadiest of alleys or going into the worst of pleasure houses on your own after all.

It being a well known fear told throughout the streets in hushed tones of just who is protecting you and what happens to any that disturb you.

Kaz would sooner lose the Crow Club itself than admit whenever he's jealous but you can always tell.

After all, despite his sharp expression, his eyes are a dead giveaway to how he's really feeling.

And though you cannot touch him as freely as most couples can with each other, you have your own ways of subtly reassuring him that he has nothing to worry about.

You are his and he is yours and no hug from a friend or grope from a creep will ever change that.

Your relationship isn't lacking, despite his fears. Despite the lack of physical intimacy.

Because in your heart you know how much the bastard of the barrel loves you.

#six of crows #six of crows kaz #kaz brekker #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker imagines #kaz brekker imagine #kaz brekker headcanons #kaz brekker headcanon #six of crows x reader #six of crows imagines #six of crows headcanons #soc x reader #soc fanfic

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star-anise · 5 months

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Everyone's got a take, and I've got a take too, about the current Internet Villain: James Somerton, a gay Youtuber who just got exposed (in the back half of a 4-hour video) as massively plagiarizing the work of LGBTQ+ media critics, historians, and memoirists, and then exposed in another 2-hour video as just making up the wildest nonsense about the topics he demonstrably had access to accurate information on.

He achieved a six-figure income on his work by squeezing money out of his audience with claims...

That only he was creating content that preserved queer history and elevated the voices and experiences of the LGBTQ+ community (a lie)

He was in serious financial distress and would have to go out of business if people didn't give him tons of money (a lie)

That he was going to use some of that cash to make definitely good and not-at-all-plagiarized independent movies, a thing he was definitely skilled and experienced enough to do (a lie), and

That those plagiarism allegations were incorrect,, and frankly,,,, hurtful and homophobic. (a GIANT lie)

Like, here's a visualization of the script of one of his videos, "Society and Queer Horror". The highlighted bits were lifted nearly verbatim from the works of others—the 18 authors identified at the time the exposé was posted—and presented as Somerton's own work.

So here's what drives me absolutely up the wall about this:

If he had just ADMITTED that it was the work of other people, THAT WOULD STILL BE COOL. If he had just said, up front, "We are going on a survey of thoughts and insights people have had about this topic", that would still be a good video with a real audience!

Like yes, he studied business in university, he might not have gotten the kinds of research skills and knowledge someone like Kaz Rowe uses to not just report on the history and analysis of others, but evaluate their relative validity and trustworthiness.

But honestly, since watching my niblings (oldest is 13) watch Youtube, I think you honestly can't underestimate the number of viewers who are really hungry for someone saying, "I don't understand this topic! Let's explore it together!"

But NOOOOOOO, Somerton didn't want to be just some schmuck waxing enthusiastic about homoeroticism on film and acknowledging the smartness of other people. He wanted to be HIM, MR. SMARTYBOY, very sophisticated and alluring and thoughtful and deep. Definitely an intellectual heavyweight who just happened to spout off his own personal ideas and analysis that put him at the forefront of all the scholarship on the topic he's come across.

I hate being wrong. Hate being wrong. But blogging for most of my life has forced me to confront constant textual evidence that two or ten or twenty years ago, I said some dumb-ass shit. Honestly, it'd probably keep me up at night sometimes even if I didn't have a written record. I absolutely understand the desire to scan the field, find the coolest people around, and quickly clothe yourself in as perfect an imitation of them as you can manage.

But if you want to be an artist or a scholar who produces something lasting, you can't prioritize coolness over truth all the time. To develop your true, independent voice, you need to find a time and place where it is just you and just the work you're doing, and you have pick up your tools and say, I don't know if I'm doing this right, but this is what feels right to me.

There are a lot of things in life to which we can only truly contribute our presence and our perspectives. Things we can only witness or hold space for. We cannot go back and bleed the pain out of history, or erase the complexity of another person's life. Not honestly, at least.

But those are the times that need our presence, our perspectives, our witness, and our space. When we gather round and tell sad tales about the death of kings, honesty can be the only thing you give that's worth a damn in the large scale of things.

If this dude had owned up to the truth and honestly showed the work of trying to piece together a queer understanding of the world, trying to draw the threads of culture together until he found a place he fit inside them, it would have been so much more valuable to our culture as a whole.

He probably made more money this way, though. While it lasted.

#staranise original #james somerton #plagiarism #lgbt discourse

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raz-writes-the-thing · 5 months

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Passing The Baton (Six of Crows One-Shot)

Kaz Brekker x Fem!Reader / requests are open and encouraged

Summary: To your knowledge, your crush on Kaz is unrequited. Apparently this is not the case.

CW: Kaz is dumb but we love him

SAB/SOC Tag List: (send an ask to be added to a tag list!)

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Kaz ‘Dirtyhands’ Brekker. Bastard of The Barrel. Also- your unrequited love. Kaz had caught your eye just as he had caught everyone else’s. Everyone knew not to mess with the Dregs, and that was thanks to Kaz. Before he’d risen through the ranks of the club, the Dregs had been no one. Quite literally the dregs of society- and while, yes, that was where the name came from, it was quite the rise to fame as the Dregs started getting more and more popular, and more and more dangerous.

Even the Crow Club was starting to become a real pain in the other clubs’ asses.

But Kaz? He’d fascinated you well before any of this. You’d been working at the Crow Club as a serving girl since before Kaz arrived. Not long, mind, but long enough before that you got to experience both sides of the Dregs’ fortune.

Kaz hadn’t seemed to take much notice of you at first- and why would he? Weren’t you just another serving girl being groped by the drunk patrons? Anything to make a few Kruge. But he did take notice when you threatened to cut the balls off a patron when said patron got a little too handsy one day.

He’d taken you back into his office and thwacked his cane on the table hard enough to scratch the varnish and told you rather harshly to never do that again. To come to him next time there was an issue like that and he’d deal with it… discretely.

What that had meant was clear only to Kaz, and that was fine by you. But that was when your little crush had really taken off. What could you say? You liked a bad boy. Someone who could handle his own and Kaz could definitely handle his own. Cane or no.

Despite telling you off, Kaz had clearly taken note that you weren’t afraid to get your hands a little dirty either, something he had an appreciation and mutual respect for. And so you went from lowly serving girl to, well, still a serving girl, but a serving girl who also took jobs for Dirtyhands and worked with him to secure patronage for the club, and Kruge for his and your own pockets. And for Per Haskell’s pockets as well, you supposed. Lazy bastard.

But you longed for more.

You longed for Kaz’s touch, for his lips on your skin. You longed for his affections as much as you longed for his approval. It was a dangerous combination.

As far as you could tell, he did not feel the same way. But then again, would you have ever known otherwise? Kaz kept his cards close to his chest- as he should.

Today seemed different though. You’d barely made it back from a job and Kaz seemed… angry, to put it lightly. You had no idea why, though, considering you got what he wanted, and made it out alive, too. Win-win.

Inej may have had to save you, but that was beside the point.

“You need to be careful,” he said, mouth pursed angrily. “You can’t be making reckless choices and silly mistakes. This is The Barrel. I can’t afford mistakes.”

You met his harsh gaze head-on and shoved the ledger he’d asked for into his chest with vigour. Kaz didn’t even break the gaze between you, just reached with one gloved hand to take the ledger off you.

“I got what you wanted, didn’t I?”

A muscle in Kaz’s jaw twinged.

“That is not the point.”

You let out an exasperated scoff, removing your hand from his chest with another soft shove. Surprisingly, Kaz lets the action move him.

“Then what is the point?” You ask, frustration evident in your features.

“The point is- oh, for Saints’ sake,” he sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “We could have lost you. I could have lost you.”

Your eyebrows practically disappeared into your hairline.

“You could have lost me…” you trail off, echoing his words, feeling them out for hidden meanings.

“You’re a good investment. I don’t like to lose investments.”

Oh. Okay. An investment. You should have known that that was all you were to him. That’s all you were ever going to be to Kaz no matter how much you wished differently. Ridiculous.

“Of course,” you reply, turning to walk away. “Your investment needs a dri-hey!”

Kaz’s gloved hand snatches at your forearm and yanks you back towards him. You re-balance yourself and glare at him, looking between the tight grip he has on your arm and his heated glare.

“Stop,” he says before forcing his features to soften. “I’m not one for feelings.” He practically shudders through the word. “You’re more than that. An investment, I mean.”

You stay quiet, not giving him anything to work with here, but you’re surprised he can’t hear the uptick in your heartbeat.

“Look,” his grip loosens. “I don’t want to lose you. Purely selfish reasons. Not because you’re an investment, but-” Kaz clears his throat and avoids eye contact. “I care for your wellbeing.”

It’s not an outright declaration of love, but it’s about as close to it as someone like Kaz would give. He’d bared his soul to you here. All the fractured, broken pieces of it. He’d bared his heart for you to treasure or smash into bitty little pieces.

You sucked in a breath.

“Are you saying you have feelings for me?”

Kaz grunts and lets go of your arm. You brush your fingers over where he’d just touched you.

“I suppose so, yes,” he said, eyes flitting to the door like he was thinking about making a run for it.

“Don’t suppose it would interest you to know I felt the same way, would it?”

And there it was. Passing the baton back to Kaz. Passing your heart in return for his. Now it was he who held the power to treasure or smash you into pieces.

Kaz finally met your gaze, and his lips ticked up into a small smirk.

“Oh, I knew that.”

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reputationgf · 1 year

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summer went away, still the yearning stays.

kaz brekker x grisha.

genre - slight angst, fluff.

summary - Three years ago you were taken away from Kaz to Ravka to train as a Grisha, now you found your way back to him and he was your again, Kaz Rietveld was yours again.

word count - 2.3k

a/n : hi wow writing after a long time !! also the summary of this sucks lowkey but we roll <33 please reblog/comment it makes my day <33

leave reqs here !! (no promises tho)

The little palace never felt like home. Something about being considered superior and the ongoing talks about how being a grisha was a gift by the saints, one meant to be cherished made you irritated. Being a grisha was what took your real life away, took you away from a person you cared for the most, Kaz brekker.

Kaz brekker was known by many names be it the bastard of the barrel or dirtyhands but you never knew him as those, to you he simply was Kaz Rietveld, to you he would always be the boy who was caring and smart and broken. Life hadn't been kind to him and it probably still wasn't.

When you both were fourteen and were roaming around the streets of Ketterdam without a care in the world on your part, some grisha came and took both of you to be tested, Kaz wasn't one but you turned out to be, and then without a choice you were taken away from him to the little palace. You wished you had put up more of a fight, maybe even tried using whatever powers you had to free yourself, maybe then you'd still be in Ketterdam with the one you wanted.

But deep down you knew however hard you would've tried you wouldn't have been to run away. You missed everything about your old life even if it wasn't the most safe and comfortable, even if you weren't guaranteed a meal everyday, even if it meant living on the edge everyday cause it meant you could be with him.

You were now seventeen and you felt like you knew nothing except the fact that you missed him. And now you were amidst a war for a country you weren't sure you cared for but you still helped of course, you battled for Genya to receive her justice, you battled for the people who lost their lives due to General Kirigan being an abomination to the society and using people as pawns in his own twisted game.

"Zoya let me come with you to Shu Han." You spoke with eagerness in your voice.

Ever since knowing about the plan to hire the crows to retrieve the Neshyenyer from Shu Han you've been on your toes. This could be the one chance to see him before you possibly died. You weren't going to give up on that.

"Tolya is coming with me I've already told you this once before." Zoya said, Her voice was dripping with sternness, she didn't want any further arguments, "besides why do you even want to come with me?"

You glared at the woman in front of you, it felt as if the fire that normally blazed through your fingers was now in your eyes, "you know why." You said, your voice cold, your jaw clenched.

Zoya studied you, she saw the way your hands were in a tight fist and how your lips were in a thin line. She noticed the slight hitch in your breath and the way your eyebrows were scrunched, then she met your eyes. Your eyes were filled with a fire she had only seen once before when you had found out General Kirigan's reality.

"Fine. You can come with me," She said tilting her head slightly, "don't make me regret this." A smirk rested on Zoya's face.

"I won't. Thank you." You said and gave her a nod, going away to get ready for your travels to Ketterdam and then Shu Han.

Ketterdam. You had so many feelings about Ketterdam that it overwhelmed you. Was Ketterdam your home? Maybe it was cause he was there. Or was it your enemy, the place which broke and bruised you, which made you feel as if someone took a dagger and slowly ran it through your body, just enough to sting forever. Was it a place that placed an irreplaceable hurt in you or was it a place you longed to be in cause he was there. Sometimes you found yourself missing Ketterdam, or maybe you just missed Kaz. After all, it's always the people who make a place feel like home, a safe haven.

The whole ride to Ketterdam to you was completely utterly anxious. Your fingernails dug deep into your fist, your bottom lip so chewed out that you could now taste blood in your mouth. You had to remind yourself to breathe and your heart to beat. One of your hands reached the necklace that laid against your chest, your fingers softly gripping its pendant— a heart, engraved with flowers around the corners and a capital R in the middle. You had remembered the day Kaz had given it to you, it was your fourteenth birthday. He had nicked it from a pawn shop and hoped you'd like it. You remembered it as clear as day how he gave it to you, it was a memory that brought you peace, taught your heart how to beat again. You closed your eyes, releasing the tight grip of your fist and freeing your lips from your teeth. Taking a deep breath you lost yourself in the memory.

"hey," Kaz called out to you, your name leaving his lips, "come in"

You followed Kaz into his room and sat on the chair of his study, he opened his cupboard and removed a small circular velvet box. Your eyes curiously followed the box and him as he sat on the bed opposite to your chair, his hand still holding the box. You looked at him and slightly raised your eyebrows.

"happy birthday" he said, holding out the box for you to take. His voice seemed almost emotionless, like always, but this time you could hear the slightest quiver in it. Was Kaz Brekker nervous?

Your face adorned a smile, "is this for me?" You asked him, your voice slightly teasing.

"yes." He spoke, motioning you to take the box.

You took the box from him gingerly, a small thank you leaving your lips as you gave him a big smile, your finger ran along the edges of the box feeling the soft velvet and then you opened it. A soft gasp of surprise leaving your mouth as you removed the necklace out of the box, "Kaz! This is so precious" you said, an even wider smile now covered your face, the one where he could see your teeth, "thank you so much." You spoke earnestly.

"I'm glad you like it." Kaz spoke, the tiniest of smiles on his face.

You studied the pendant, your finger dragging along the pink flowers carved along the heart's edges, you smiled at the 'R' in the middle of the heart, "There's a 'R' in the centre of the heart" you said, your eyes meeting his, your eyebrows raised slightly as if questioning him.

Kaz remained silent, you felt as if you said something wrong, maybe you shouldn't have pointed it out, maybe it was accidental. But then Kaz said, "This way, there's always a piece of the real me with you." of course it wasn't accidental, kaz brekker is a mastermind, everything he does will always have a meaning.

"Thank you," you said, putting the necklace on, "I love it"

He merely gave you a nod and you left his room.

"Let me do the talking." Zoya said, her eyes on your face as you stepped into the crow club, you hummed a noise of approval your eyes desperately searching the dim lit room which reeked of alcohol, a smoky haze covered the room. Someone approached Zoya, you didn't know who he was nor you cared cause it wasn't him.

You soon got lost in your thoughts again, kaz often had that effect on you. You couldn't stop thinking about how he would react to seeing you, would he even acknowledge you? Would he show the slightest reaction? You weren't sure. Soon, Zoya grabbed your arm and tugged on it, "Let's go? I've been calling your name." Her voice had its usual sternness.

"Yeah, right, sorry." You spoke softly, your face held a look of melancholy, Zoya noticed it and her eyes softened, she placed her hands on yours gingerly and gave it a gentle squeeze, "it'll be okay" she said softly, offering you a small smile. You gave her a warm smile and a nod as you both walked towards a hall led by someone.

"Boss will meet you here", the man said as he opened the door to a room which looked like a study, you walked in and Zoya took a seat on the wooden chair kept opposite the table. You walked along the room, your eyes taking in every single corner of the room. You saw the painting hung up on the wall, scrolls of paper neatly placed on the side table, a black wool coat hung on the coat rack. Your breath hitched slightly, "was it his?," You thought, your hand reaching out to touch it, your hand grazed along the soft wool and then you heard the door open. You turned around and your eyes widened a little, your mouth slightly open, a breath left your mouth and your eyes met his striking blue ones. You felt as if time had stopped, you could feel your heart beating fast, so fast that you could feel it in your throat. "Kaz" you said, your voice barely a whisper.

Kaz's eyes widened a little, you could see his grip tighten on his cane, you gave him a little smile, he had to remember you. How could he not?

Zoya's sharp voice suddenly cut the thick tension that settled in the air, "Kaz Brekker, Ravka seeks your help." Her hand holding a letter out to him. A scowl covered Kaz's face, he snatched the letter off Zoya's hand, "We aren't patriots," he said grimly, his eyes meeting Zoya's.

"The money isn't the matter, the king will give you your price" She said with certainty.

Kaz hummed in response, his eyes reading the letter and then it met yours again. Oh those eyes, how you had longed to see them, Kaz's brown eyes were something you'd never forget. You couldn't even if you had tried. His eyes were the shade of brown you saw everyday in your morning coffee, you saw his eyes in the dark leather bound books, you saw his eyes in pieces of dark chocolate. For you he was everywhere- he was in the game of cards you saw younger Grisha playing, he was in the snarky remarks passed around, but more importantly, he was always in your heart.

"Leave." he said now looking at Zoya, "we will discuss about this in a moment." His voice sounded bitter.

Zoya hesitated, her eyes followed yours and she gave you a nod, "Fine, but just a moment", she uttered, leaving and slamming the door shut.

"Kaz," You called out, this time louder. Your voice held desperation in it, it was soft yet tense- you wanted to hold him, you wanted to touch him and try to make up the lost time, you took a step closer to him, "i missed you" you said, your hand fiddling with your necklace.

Kaz's eyes followed your hand, he was surprised to find out you still had the necklace with you, "Three years." he spoke, his voice softer now, "it's been three fucking years." you could see his walls slowly breaking down, his eyes becoming softer, the grip on his cane becoming weaker. "I wondered if you had died", his voice quivered slightly, his eyes glossier.

Another step forward, "How could i die without seeing you?", you said, humor in your voice, "Kaz, are you okay? is everything okay?" you asked, your face held a look of melancholy, your lips pursed.

"You look different," Kaz said, ignoring your question, "you look beautiful." he said slowly, a small smile playing on his lips.

you could feel the tears in your eyes, you smiled at him, a soft giggle left your lips, "Thank you, but that still doesn't answer my question, are you okay?"

"I missed your laugh" he said, "i missed you." This time Kaz took a step towards you, his gloved hands tensed a little. "You still have the necklace." he remarked.

You nodded, "how could i not carry a piece of the real you with me always?"

Kaz looked down, his hand tracing patterns on his cane, "I hated being away from you" he admitted, "i-" he took a breath, his eyes meeting yours, the look on his face made you want to cry, you could feel your eyes filling up with tears again, "I needed you" he said, your name leaving his lips, another breath in, "I wanted you".

You tilted your head slightly, your hands wiping the few tears on your cheek, "I am sorry,"

"It wasn't your fault." he said quickly.

"You have me now, if you still want me." you said, your voice slow, "after this, this war is over I'll stay here in Ketterdam, if you want me too"

Kaz's face looked like that of a young boy again, he was changed in the way he was now, he was dirtyhands, the bastard of the barrel, he was someone people feared- but right now, in this moment, he was Kaz Rietveld again.

"I will always want you." He said slowly, his hand reached out for yours, it tensed a little.

"Kaz you don't have too-"

"I want you to stay." He said, his hand relaxing in yours, "i want you." He gently squeezed your hand.

"Then you'll have me" you said smiling, "you will have me Kaz Rietveld."

#kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker #kaz brekker x reader fluff #kaz brekker x reader angst #kaz brekker x fem!reader #kaz brekker angst #kaz brekker fluff #kaz brekker x y/n #kaz brekker x you

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magneticflower · 3 months

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When is it not raining in Ketterdam?

I got rather inspired and wanted to draw Kanej since it had been a while. It snowballed into me also writing a little thing to go along with it. I hope you enjoy both sjsj. The rest of the writing will be under readmore~

It almost feels like old times, being out on the streets of the Barrel in the wee hours of the morning instead of at the Crow Club to meet her. Almost. Except he wasn't making his way through the Barrel to scout out a target or to discuss intel without the risk of being heard with her, and they weren't teenagers anymore. He was heading towards the docks for a goodbye. It wasn't the first time he had done so in the last five years, and provided her Saints kept watch like she said they did, it wouldn't be the last.

He made his way down to berth twenty-two and could already see her waiting for him at the railing on the side of her ship, her familiar figure silhouetted by what streams of moonlight could make it through the smoggy sky that encased the Barrel most evenings. He preferred the times when she was silhouetted by the sunsets that only seemed to be visible when she returned, but he couldn't begrudge her for leaving to where she was at her best. He just hated how he felt in the hours leading up to and after her departure. Kaz pulled himself together just fine after, but he had never entirely managed to shake himself of those hours. Maybe one day.

"Punctual as always, Kaz," she said as he made his way to stand in front of her along the railing.

"I know how you like your sleep. I won't keep you long."

"I don't mind losing some sleep, not if it is for you. Saints know I have done it plenty of times before."

"I distinctly remember several instances of you grumbling about that."

Inej rolled her eyes, "Are you trying to keep this brief because you've got somewhere you would rather be, Kaz?"

No, there wasn't a place in the Barrel that he would rather be than right here, right now. Perhaps only his office, but only if she was there with him. "I am trying out being considerate."

"Not what I asked."

Kaz exhaled through his nose, "You know the answer to that, Inej."

Luckily for him, she wasn't keen on being as obstinate as he usually was, so instead of insisting on a real answer, she simply asked, "Then why are you so far?"

He eyed her momentarily, "How could I be closer than I already am while on the dock?"

Inej's eyes looked down and his own followed suit. "Are you telling me you want me to climb up those crates?"

She looked back up, "Well, I may or may not have had my crew leave those right there for that very reason. Come to whatever conclusion that gives you."

"It was raining earlier. They're wet."

"When is it not raining in Ketterdam?"

"Right now."

"Kaz." She gives him a familiar look that tells him she is done with the back and forth. He either does it or doesn't. Of course he does it.

"If I fall on my ass climbing these..." he muttered as he made his way up the boxes to fulfill her request to come closer.

Inej laughed, "If you do perhaps you'll gain greater appreciation for what I used to do for you. At the very least you will leave me with a great memory to reflect on during the less than favorable nights when I'm gone."

Kaz was too busy making his way up to give a retort. It wasn't as if these were particularly difficult, they were just a few measly crates, but his leg never liked this sort of weather and it was proving to stand by that.

"Now that wasn't so bad was it?" She said once he fully made it up, no unceremonious fall to be had.

"It wasn't particularly good either. We're not teenagers anymore," he countered, shifting his weight to better accommodate his leg.

Inej rested her arms on the railing so that she could lean closer to him, a grin on her face. She still had to look down at him even though he stood on the crates now. Regardless, they were closer, just like she wanted. He had wanted it too.

"You're only twenty two, Kaz, you're hardly ancient. Besides, you are the one that declines to simply come on the ship when we say our goodbyes. I know you said it is because it might wake the others, but one day you will have to oblige me, since you are giving being considerate a chance." He knew the last sentence wasn't just a request to come aboard for goodbyes. One day she wanted him to come with her. Maybe one day he would.

"It would be louder. I am not the Wraith."

"No, I suppose you are not. You're just the crow that keeps coming by because she didn't have the good sense not to feed him," she retorts, leaning forward a little more.

"I don't recall you giving me any information recently, Wraith."

"I suppose not," she said as she moved her hands down to place them on either side of his face to prompt him to lean up as she leaned closer to him as well, "Give me a minute to think of something," she finished as she closed the gap between their lips. It was soft and slow. perhaps because the two knew that this was where the goodbye started.

Almost as if Ketterdam couldn't handle the silence of their moment, Inej began to hear the pattering of the beginning of the rainy morning ahead of her. She pulled back, though only enough to stop the kiss, but not enough to let the rain hit his face. Not enough to ruin this.

"Kaz, it's raining."

"When is it not raining in Ketterdam?"

#six of crows #crooked kingdom #kanej #kaz brekker #inej ghafa #six of crows fanart

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swanimagines · 2 months

Text

BY YOUR SIDE | KAZ BREKKER

Summary: Your dad has just died and you have gone to Kaz for comfort.

Kaz hated seeing you cry. Empathy was something Dirtyhands was supposed to lack, but when you sobbed there, it made him feel so helpless to see how you looked like a hollowed-out husk of who you usually were. The light in your eyes had dimmed as you wept into your knees.

Kaz remembered his own father dying, but he had been so young and had Jordie for support that the memories felt distant in comparison. He didn't know what to say or what to do, to be honest he hadn't expected you to come to him for comfort in the first place. Inej would be better at comforting, or Nina. But he would just sit there staring at you crying, you knew you wouldn't get hugs or kisses from Kaz Brekker no matter how much you cried. It wasn't something he was proud of.

After a while your sobs slowly died down and you wiped away your tears with one sleeve of your cardigan, sniffing back some snot. You ran your hand over your hair and tried to smile, though it looked more like someone else's imitation than anything real. "I'm sorry," you said softly. "You shouldn't have had to see me this way."

"No apology necessary," he replied, glancing at your hands folded in your lap.

Your voice sounded weak and strained when you spoke again. "I... I just don't know what to do."

He frowned, he knew you were good friends with other Crows. He was the worst possible person you could come to with a matter like this. He didn't even know you'd be willing to show yourself being so vulnerable in front of him, especially after he had been extremely vocal about affection and love being a weakness, completely opposite of what most of the other Crows stood for. And he kind of considered telling you that and sending you off, but... he couldn't. You weren't weak, just lost.

Kaz glanced around the room as if looking for an answer, but then shook his head and sighed, standing up from his desk. He had a meeting to attend downstairs, but he didn't want to send you off in that state. He walked up to his clothing rack, taking one of his coats and went back to you. You flinched upon feeling the soft fabric landing on your shoulders and looked up.

"Take it. It's cold here," he told you, still not sure where to take you or how else to help you. But this would be the best he could do as for now. "We have a meeting with the Crows in a few minutes. But I'll be back in an hour or so."

You blinked at him, but then slowly wrapped the coat tighter around you. A flicker of your light passed in your eyes, which made the corner of Kaz's mouth twitch upwards.

"Thank you," you whispered, and he nodded before heading out from the office.

---

The heist had been planned ready and Kaz could almost see the kruge glinting in the vault already as he made his way back upstairs. He smirked at the thought of yet another foolish merchant thinking they were clever enough to beat his gang, and having to eat their words when their vault would be empty.

He opened his office door and paused. He had forgotten about you completely, or maybe he thought you'd go to your room while he's at the meeting. But instead, you had dozed off on his sofa, clutching his coat in your hands and wearing it like a blanket. Your hair had fallen down around your face, and you looked like one of Inej's Saints. It made his heart skip a beat.

Kaz set his blueprints down on his desk and glanced at you sleeping there, wondering if he should wake you up and send you off into your own room, but then decided against it. You needed comfort, and if you could get it from sleeping on his couch with his coat as your blanket, so be it.

Maybe he wouldn't confess it, or even acknowledge it himself, but Kaz Brekker was completely and utterly in love with you and would do anything for you.

---

Requests are always open! FANDOM LIST | PROMPT LIST(S) | RULES (READ!!!)

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lesbicosmos · 1 year

Text

six of crows is so incredibly hozier coded and to prove it ive assigned each character/couple a song and given a specific section of the lyrics

(i feel entirely normal about this i swear)

the books in general are 100% eat your young

There's money to be made, whatever's still to come Get some Pull up the ladder when the flood comes Throw enough rope until the legs have swung Seven new ways that you can eat your young Come and get some Skinning the children for a war drum Putting food on the table selling bombs and guns It's quicker and easier to eat your young

kaz brekker - arsonist's lullabye

When I was 16, my senses fooled me Thought gasoline was on my clothes I knew that something would always rule me I knew the scent was mine alone All you have is your fire And the place you need to reach Don't you ever tame your demons But always keep 'em on a leash

inej ghafa - would that i

With the war of the fire My heart moves to its feet Like the ashes of ash I saw eyes in the heat Feel it soft and as pure as snow Fell in love with the fire long ago With each love I could lose I was never the same Watch it still live in roofs Be consumed by the flame I was fixed on your hand of gold Lay in waste of my lovin' long ago

jesper fahey - someone new

There's an art to life's distractions To somehow escape the burning weight, the art of scraping through Some like to imagine The dark caress of someone else, I guess any thrill will do Would things be easier if there was a right way? Honey, there is no right way

wylan van eck - through me (the flood)

Any time I've struggled on Against the course Out on my own Every time I'd burn through the world, I'd see That the world, it burns through me

nina zenik - angel of small death and the codeine scene

Feeling more human and hooked on her flesh, I Lay my heart down with the rest at her feet Fresh from the fields, all fetor and fertile It's bloody and raw, but I swear it is sweet With her sweetened breath, and her tongue so mean She's the angel of small death and the codeine scene

(this is so nina post-parem)

matthias helvar - foreigner's god

Her eyes look sharp and steady Into the empty parts of me But still my heart is heavy With the hate of some other man's beliefs

kaz/inej - work song

When my time comes around Lay me gently in the cold dark earth No grave can hold my body down I'll crawl home to her

(this is just so i would come for you and if i couldn't walk i'd crawl to you i cannot)

matthias/nina - in a week

A thousand teeth And yours among them, I know Our hungers appeased Our heartbeats becoming slow We lay here for years or for hours Thrown here or found To freeze or to thaw So long we become the flowers Two corpses we were

(they're also incredibly work song coded, it was a struggle choosing between helnik and kanej for that one)

wylan/jesper - like real people do

So I will not ask you Why you were creeping In some sad way I already know I will not ask you where you came from I will not ask and neither should you Honey just put your sweet lips on my lips We should just kiss like real people do

#i know i say most things are hozier coded but THIS BOOK AND THESE CHARACTERS OMG #i spent an hour making this post #im so normal about them #six of crows #six of crows duology #kaz brekker #inej ghafa #kanej #jesper fahey #wylan van eck #wesper #nina zenik #matthias helvar #helnik #hozier #music

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zepp-l1n · 11 months

Text

His Anchor

Pairing: Kaz Brekker x Fem!reader

summary: sometimes Kaz needs a comforting presence. fic type - angst, hurt/comfort, established relationship warning - Kaz's haphephobia and trauma :(, also a little ooc Kaz at the end?? word count - 1,494 a/n: hiii! hope you guys enjoy!

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It wasn't unusual for Kaz to get overwhelmed and slip into one of his episodes. Too much time spent in interactions, physical or not, would cause him to feel the water rise up his spine and start to consume him. In the past during times like these, Kaz would run off and lock himself into his room. No one was to come in, and no one was to go out. Now things were different. Now he had (Y/N).

The girl had become apart of his team of Crows early on, but it wasn't until a little while ago that the two crossed into a relationship status past friends (one that Kaz refused to call "lovers" due to his hatred for visible weaknesses). Since they had reached this point, the two had been working on trying to break down Kaz's walls. Understandably, the couple had been taking it slow, and didn't try to go to far out of Kaz's comfort zone.

So far, they had managed to make some progress. The first step had been hand holding in short time frames - which was okay, with or without gloves.

Next had been opening up about Kaz's childhood. (Y/N) still didn't know much, due to the fact that she didn't want to push him to far to fast, but it was enough for her to understand where he was coming from. Now, when he had the episodes, she was right there with him - staying far enough away so to not make it worse, but close enough that he wouldn't have to go through it alone. She was now his savior, pulling him back to shore when the waters threatened to drown him. And he needed that safety, especially in moments like these.

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Kaz was crouched in the corner of his room. His goal had been to huddle up on his bed where he would be more comfortable, but the waves had become to much for him to go any farther. All he could see was Jordie. All he could see was Jordie. There was no escaping him. He could feel the cold hands of Jordie and the others gripping at his body.

Kaz had been alone in his study when the attack hit him, so he didn't have far to go to hide away. Unbeknownst to him, (Y/N) had seen his shaken form enter his room. She subtly excused herself from the conversation she was having with Nina and Matthias, and calmly made her way to the room. Inside, her brain was running a mile a minuet. She knew how bad Kaz could get sometimes, and she could only hope that he was alright.

Inside the room, the boy had curled into himself farther, trying to get any slight piece of relief. He was too far into his own head that he didn't notice (Y/N)'s knock on his door, nor did he notice her enter the room.

"Kaz?" she quietly called out. Her gaze drifted to the boy on the ground - the boy she had grown to truly care about. She could tell he was hyperventilating, a common occurrence during these episodes, but his breathing was far more erratic than usual. "Kaz, sweetheart?" (Y/N) closed in on the boy, arms cautiously open and outstretched. Kaz still didn't notice her. Once more, she stepped towards him. "Kaz, I need you to listen to me, okay?"

His gloved hands were painfully clasped around his shoulders. He couldn't take in anything other than the water and Jordie. Nothing else seemed to be real.

(Y/N)'s hands reached for Kaz's. She didn't know what she was planning on doing, but she knew that she needed to bring him out of the episode fast, for his sanity and hers. "I'm here Kaz." she mumbled, soft hands winding around the leather she had become happily accustomed to. "You're safe. You're here with me." Her words and movements were gradually becoming more frantic. While keeping one hand on his, she brought the other back to herself for a moment. She knew that holding him anywhere else was way past the boundaries they had broken, and although it could possibly help, she wasn't sure if it would make things off between them afterwards.

A broken gasp brought (Y/N)'s attention back to the boy in front of her. Kaz's chest was rapidly heaving, trying to take in unnecessary amounts of air. His already shaking body seemed to increase in speed. She needed to do something, and fast.

(Y/N) knew that even the slightest bit of cold flesh may send him farther into his episode, so she quickly pulled both hands away and started rubbing them together to get some friction. Once they were as warm as she could get them, (Y/N) placed her hands onto his body - the left cradling his neck, and the right caressing his face. She pulled his body tight against hers, resting his head on her clothed chest. From this angle he would be able to hear her madly-paced heartbeat. "Kaz, darling, please." she loudly begged.

In Kaz's head, and behind Jordie's angry yells, he started to hear a steady 'thump'. Warmth enveloped his face and neck, pushing away some of the violent waves.

Soft cries started to leave the girls mouth. She couldn't help the frustrated and scared tears misting over her eyes, or the overly panicked thoughts rushing through her head.

Kaz could feel the waves dying down, but he still couldn't get away from the cold and damp feeling of the death he experienced. The thumping was still a steady tune, pulsing through the back of his conscience. He knew something or someone was there, but he couldn't get away.

"I'm here." her choked words returned to their former softness, but still repeated rapidly, as if speaking them over and over would bring him out of his trance. "Please..."

The thumping grew louder, and faster in pace. Whatever it was, Kaz was sure would burst in minuets. It echoed in his mind, blocking out Jordie's yells - blocking out the smell of sea water and the feeling of water filling his lungs. Then came the call of a soft a familiar voice - one that he could recognize and point out within all of the crowds in Ketterdam. (Y/N). The dark haze started to clear from his mind, letting him take in the sight of the girl holding him.

For a moment everything stopped. It was as if Kaz was someone else - as if he hadn't lost Jordie, or been dumped with the other bodies, or as if he could freely touch anything and anyone he wanted. He felt the soft skin pressing on his neck and face, and subconsciously leaned into it. Fresh tears streamed from his eyes, coming into contact with the soft skin he now adored, and he couldn't help but let out matching whimpers and cries of his own.

A soft gasp sounded from about him, "Kaz!" He could feel the girl start to pull away, the feeling of her warmth leaving his cold body, and he swiftly pulled her back.

"Stay." his broken voice whispered. "I'm sorry." Her heartbeat rang in his ears, proving to him that she was real, not some body he was forcefully sat beside.

"Don't be," she hoarsely muttered. "You have nothing to apologize for. Not to me." Her right hand ran over the rough skin of his cheek, brushing against the small scars that littered the area.

"I do." his voice vibrated against her shoulder. "You shouldn't have to deal with this."

(Y/N) pulled his face away from her, and used her hands to force his stare back in her direction. "Kaz Brekker, don't start with that. I am here - to help, to hold, to get you through the unnecessary suffering. I will be here every step of the way." Her voice never raised above a whisper.

"But-" he started, but (Y/N) cut him off.

"No. I will be here. I will be your tether back to reality, whenever I am needed. I will bring you back to me - back to the crows - back to yourself. We will get through this. One day, things will get better. One day, I will have you, without your armor. But until then, I will be with you every step of the way." (Y/N)'s eyes pierced into his own throughout her entire speech. Her words and look were enough to render Kaz, for the first time, speechless.

Kaz leaned forward, securing himself back into her arms. He didn't know how much longer this moment would last, or how much longer he'd be able to hold her without feeling the need to throw up, but he knew she would wait as long as it took for him to be free of his fears and hold her like this always. He knew that he had her. he finally had his anchor, and he wasn't letting it go.

#reader insert #grishaverse #shadow and bone x reader #netflix shadow and bone #six of crows imagine #six of crows #six of crows x reader #kazzle dazzle #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker #shadow and bone #freddy carter #kaz dirtyhands brekker

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suffermaze · 2 months

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play pretend | joseph quinn

summary: Stranger Things comes to its last season and Joseph is your co-star. It's the last scene of the day, you were doing fine until now. But it was a pretty intense moment and it's hard to keep focus when the boy's lips are close to your neck. 2k.

It was the last scene of the day. And you were pretty exhausted. Even though it was easy and actually fun to share the screen with Joseph, who turned everything lighter and enjoyable, all you wanted to do was go home and get some sleep. But you needed to hold on just a little bit more.

It was pretty intense, this last scene, and you needed to stay focused just a little more, but it started to get harder and harder due to your tiredness and Eddie characterization. At this point, he “came back to life” as Kaz, confirming all the fan theories and headcanons. That meant he was like some kind of vampire. Everytime he smiled you could see his fangs and scars covering his chest.

You couldn’t help thinking it was... hot. Like, so, so hot.

You needed to act scared, and thank god you were a really good actress, because you couldn’t think of anything else other than how stunning he was. Your eyes travelling through his whole body.

“Hey… you ok?” his raspy voice takes you out of your own thoughts, and only then you notice how long you've been staring at him with a stupid face.

“What? nothing.” you swallow hard, giggling out of nervousness, and he doesn't believe you, not even for a second “I’m just… trying to remember my part.”

“oh, don't worry, you're doing amazing darling.” he says with a warm smile and a soft voice that almost feels like it's hugging you, and all you can do is nod as you smile back, your cheeks getting warm too, not sure if he was just being nice, cause he was actually a gentleman, or if there was something… more.

You don't have much time to think deeply about it, though. Or saty anything back to him. Because the director gets back to his seat and shouts to everyone to get to their places.

You were ready to go on your own when Joseph takes your hand and guides you to your marks, and suddenly you get embarrassed of the camera, because you feel everyone was looking at the way your hands were intertwined. And he notices how you seemed away, that's why he squeezes your palm as an attempt to reassure you one more time, before you hear the directors voice's loudly again.

“And ACTION! Whenever you’re ready.”

You take a deep breath and look into those big chocolate puppy eyes. And you feel safe. He’s waiting for you to be prepared, waiting for you to lead the scene, he wouldn't start until you said so, and you nod as a sign.

It’s almost scary the way he turns so fast to something else. You knew he was good at his job, for real, but witnessing it so close was completely different. His eyes getting darker. You weren’t aware that was something actually real, that someone could actually do that kind of thing, and it seems so easy for him to do so.

Then it’s just easy to get along, to get into character and go with him, following his pace now, like you were someone else too.

“Eddie? W-what are you doing?” Your voice cracks a little, and you take a step back, frightened. He looked just like your best friend but something was off.

“Don’t call me that, princess. You know I’m not that freak.” He growls back at you, with a sick smirk on his lips.

A step closer to you, and even though your instincts beg for you to run, you feel frozen, paralyzed. He looks at you up and down, almost like he’s enjoying seeing you so afraid, so vulnerable.

“That’s not funny Eddie, stop. Please.” You beg one more time, your eyes getting cloudy due the tears.

“You know what? You’re starting to piss me off…” He’s close enough now, his breathe against your own, and he looks at you, at every detail of your face, every mole that draws your skin, and he hushs. “Too bad I have to do this to such a pretty, pretty girl…”

He caresses your cheek, tracing his fingers down to your neck and getting your hair out of the way.

And for a second, his eyes slipper to yours and turn soft again, a glance of your sweet boy there once more, a shred of hope.

“Eddie?” you ask one more time, agonizing, praying he could hear you.

“Run.” He says, with his last glance of consciousness, but it’s too late.

His fingers dive into the waves of your hair and he holds tight, pulling it back so your neck gets more exposed.

“Who... who a-are you?” You don’t have any strength to scream or try to escape. You’re horrified, your eyes bursting desperate tears. He smiles, his fangs actually shining when the light hits them, and he dives his teeth to your skin.

And you giggle.

Automatically flinching, you try to hide your neck, and it takes a second for you to notice what just happened. Your eyes get wide open and your cheeks burst into flames.

“CUT! What the heck was that?” You hear the scream, and Joseph lays his forehead on your shoulder as you cover your mouth out of embarrassment. You were so tired you couldn’t control yourself as his touch tickled your skin. And now your swearing every bad word you could think of inside your head, wanting to desapear to the ground.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry…” you repeated that over and over but when you hear Joseph chuckle, all you can do is laugh too.

“You got to be kidding me…” he shushes, nodding as he raises his eyebrows and looks at you with some joy on his face. He thought it was cute, because, to be honest, what could you do?

“I’m extremely sorry. I… I don’t know what happened to me… can we… can we take five? Please?”

You don’t even wait for a confirmation and just run to your dressing room, praying that you could turn invisible for a moment.

“Shit. Shit. Shit.” you repeat uninterruptedly, taking deep breaths and opening your restroom sink, throwing some water to your face with the hope that could wake you up and get you to your senses again. And it seems to be working until you hear the knock at your door.

“I’m almost done, give me just a sec!” You shout through the room, looking your reflex at the mirror as you recompose yourself, but the knock doesn’t go away, and this time it comes accompanied with a sweet voice.

“It’s me, can I come inside?” he asks, seeming a little worried, and you just couldn't say no to him, so you shush a “yes” almost inaudible and he opens the door slowly, entering the room, and immediately closing it behind him.

It takes a sec to any of you to say something. He just stares at you, concerned.

“… you ok?” his voice is so warm that it feels like a cloud envolves your body. Even though you weren't actually ok, he makes you feel better just by saying that.

“Oh, yes, it’s just… I can’t believe myself, we really had it and I ruined it all…” you sigh, disappointed, and pinch the bridge of your nose with your two fingers.

“Hey, hey! Don’t say that. everyone is tired and we understand... you were doing amazing and, you know, we can shoot it over and over again… you don’t have any idea of how many bloopers of me we’re gonna have to watch after the season releases” he laughs, leaning in your direction and looking at you with those big chocolate orbes. You know he’s only saying this to reassure you, to make you feel better, and it works. Actually, he didn’t even need to say anything to make you feel better, but he could always manage to do more.

You felt like you could run away and jump over the highest cliff, because he would catch you, you would be safe. It’s the first time someone made you feel like this in your entire life. You always knew there was something special about that boy.

And the way he was looking at you now, getting closer and closer, just to caress your hair and make you relax, was really… really special…

“It’s ok, really…” he says one more time, and you smile softly, starting to believe him. “I have an idea… we could practice, you know, rehearse that scene so you’ll be prepared to shoot it. what do you think?” For a moment, just a second, he seems shy, vulnerable, and then you are finally sure of what that meant. The way he said it faltering, and looked at you with those big wondering eyes.

All those months shooting together, getting to know each other. The way he looked at you, without hesitation, without looking away not even a single time. And the way he smiled when you always looked back. How he was always close, always joking with you, just to make you laugh, just so he could see your smile.

“yeah, that’s a… that’s a pretty good idea.” you chuckle shyly too, your face heating up, the butterflies dancing inside you. Because you felt the same way.

He smiles, wide open, his face almost shining, and he gets even closer, getting his hand to your neck again, now with a really soft touch, making you shiver, feeling so electric that it seemed like a lightning had just hit you within his skin, through his fingertips.

“Whenever you’re ready.” he jokes, trying the best imitation he could do of the director’s voice, and you roll your eyes at his stupidity. you know he was trying to make you relax, but the way every inch of your body is desiring him make it almost ache.

“Eddie?” you say, your voice sounding a little raspy and aerated because you couldn’t breathe normally, your eyes looking at his under your lashes.

“Don’t run.” Joseph answers, and he smiles at you, his orbes pulling you to him like magnets.

You can’t even say your line back, you just couldn’t breathe properly to your voice to come out. You feel his body getting closer, his face getting closer and closer to yours, the almost nonexistent between you two evaporating.

You stare at him for how long you could, analyzing every single detail that made him himself, just so you could mark the way he was looking at you forever in your head until his lips get to your neck with a gentle kiss. It’s a shock, and you flinch a bit, just because it confirms to you this is real.

You don’t want to laugh this time. On the contrary, you let out a tiny gasp and close your eyes, feeling his warm skin touching yours. His lips tracing its way up your neck, to your jaw, and he stops, just so he could stare at you again, cause he wanted to fix this moment in his mind too.

He holds your face, so carefully you feel you were made of porcelain. Like someone holding the most beautiful flower to ever exist, too afraid to damage its fragile petals. And he kisses you, finally. His lips fit yours so perfectly it almost feels surreal, because it felt like you were designed for each other, like you couldn’t belong to anybody else. It is so soft, the perfect texture, pressure, warmth… Everything was just… perfect.

You’ve waited for this for so long, and you feel so light, almost flying. It sounds cliche, but you’re pretty sure you could hear the fireworks, the ones that you feel exploding inside your chest, like they were actually around you, almost too close… too real…

“Guys? are you there? we need to keep recording!” you hear a muffled voice behind the door, and someone knocking again and again, louder and louder. “guys?”

It takes you two out of that trance, back to reality, and you look into each other’s eyes with such joy you could see the sparkles.

Joseph laughs through the kiss, and hides his face into your neck again. When he looks at you, his face is red like a tomato, and it’s the cutest thing you’ve ever seen, making you giggle as you bite your lower lip, attempting to hide your smile.

“We’re coming!” You answer, looking away when you start to blush, trying to recompose yourself as you fix your hair and your clothes, even though they remained intact.

“We can do it.” He says, holding your chin with his thumb and making you look at him, raising his eyebrows to emphasize his words. “You can do it. And I’ll be with you the whole time.”

You nod, holding his hand and squeezing it a little, just to make sure that was real, that it actually happened.

And you knew, no matter what, from that day on, he would be with you the whole time.

hello! this is my first time writing in another language and posting something here, so I'm sorry if there are any mistakes and I hope you guys understand... anyway, it would be awesome to hear your opnions and I really hope you've enjoyed it!! <3

#eddie munson #joseph quinn #joseph quinn fluff #joseph quinn x reader #joseph quinn fanfiction

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19burstraat · 4 months

Text

ketterdam dashboard simulator 2 (electric boogaloo)

(first one here)

❌ urkerchfaveisproblematic follow

Who submitted Kaz Brekker. don't take the piss he's literally wanted every other Wednesday

🍃 squallertales follow

Wait what did Brekker do

🌊 boekcanaling

Girl what DIDN'T he do

🦁 dimelionsofficial follow

Ghezen's Day Piss Up starts TONIGHT at the Kaelish Prince! Come down before four bells and get ten kruge off your first drinks purchase and an extra spin on Makker's Wheel!

👤 dregsofficial

545.06.7.9

🦁 dimelionsofficial follow

HOW DID YOU GET PAST THE FUCKING VPN. FUCK YOU KAZ BREKKER. FUCK YOU SO MUCH. YOU DO THIS EVERY TIME. WE'RE NOT EVEN DOING ANYTHING TO YOU. WE'RE ALL JUST PEOPLE WITH JOBS. TRYING TO GET BY. MOST OF US NEVER EVEN SPOKE TO ROLLINS. THIS IS SO TWISTED. YOUR ACTUALLY WRONG IN THE HEAD. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU. I ACTUALLY CAN'T DEAL WITH THIS ANYMORE. I'M SICK.

👤 dregsofficial

*you're

❓lidandstavessuggestions

#234: build mickey's dick smasher between east and west stave

🍷dregsconfessions

So I've been a dregs member for a long time (I'm in my 30s now) and back when I was a new grunt I was especially trolleyed at the Crow Club, and I ended up spilling like half my pint on the head of one of Haskell's feral little runners, yk one of the little kids?? I just kind of mopped him with my sleeve and said sorry and figured that it was the end of it... however it has occurred to me lately that it actually might have been Kaz. Honestly I never could tell the difference between all the kids, and I didn't look properly at him, but now I've been waking up in a cold sweat several times a week thinking about it. Is it time for me to retire from the gang life

#submisson #admin comment: lately all of these have just been ppl embarrassing themselves in front of kaz

🧇 stroopwafels

There's definitely blogs on here that are undercover advertising for the Dregs btw. I accuse that one that thirstposts abt Dirtyhands

🧤 dirtyhandsy follow

:( no I'm a Razorgull actually

🧇 stroopwafels

WHAT???????

🧤 dirtyhandsy follow

I have eyes :/

🧇 stroopwafels

You won't for much longer if your boss finds out omfg

🃏 makkerswheelies follow

you guys are cowards for not wanting to fuck Brekker. Out of my way ghezenboy I'm bout to get it

🃏 makkerswheelies follow

My wallet is Gone

💀 dregsundrained follow

Kaz Brekker isn't violent. Dirtyhands is. Get it right

🏵️ cillasfryup

Gonna rob a bank tomorrow and when the stadwatch come I'm gonna tell them it was my alter ego Countess Boochie Flagrante

🙏🏻 thumbofghezen follow

sooooo sick of seeing people say that the council of tides shouldn't have complete control over kerch shipping. they stop the island from sinking??? every day?? have some respect

⛲ sanktvladimirs

idk about you guys but I'd be popping the BIGGEST bottles if kerch started sinking

🏵️ cillasfryup

me and the girls when kerch starts sinking

🌊 boekcanaling

staff please let me reblog ads please please please please

💪🏻 lionsroar12 follow

guys you have 24 hours to unfollow sanktvladimirs not only are they impersonating and mocking real etherealki and real saints (they are NOT a member of the second army) they're a dregs member, and I bet they're a fucking ka/nej too

⛲ sanktvladimirs

@ dregsofficial

💪🏻 lionsroar12 follow

I DIDN'T MEAN IT LIKE THAT

💪🏻 lionsroar12 follow

WHO SENT ME AN ANON ASK WITH MY ADDRESS

🍷dregsundrained

guys I was looking at the wiki contributions who the fuck added a jesper fahey page to the dregs wiki... from inside the stadhall???

🥳 pearlhandledrevolvers

you know what. don't even worry about it

liked by dregsofficial

🍃 squallertales follow

the wraith was only seventeen when she started hunting slavers???? she should have been at the club

#DON'T crawl out of the woodwork and say 'oh the crow club-' #the REAL CLUB. for FUN

🎨 dekappelfan follow

it's so nice to know no one agrees on this

#I know most of these are about kaz but he's the closest thing the barrel has to a celebrity. also he is an endless comedy goldmine #six of crows #grishaverse #crooked kingdom #ketterdam #kanej #jesper fahey #inej ghafa #dashboard simulator #my post

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the-sound-of-her-wings · 1 year

Note

hi! can i please request a kaz brekker x reader fic based off of episode 5 of season 2 (despise your heart)? when kaz panics in the market reader finds him and takes him somehwere safe and gives him his gloves, and in that moment kaz kinda of realizes how he feels about the reader. and then the poison fog the reader hallucinates about kaz and him finally making physical contact and giving her love and she thinks it’s real until someone shoves the antidote in her mouth, once she regains consciousness she rushes over to help kaz and kaz sees her pulling him out of the water and the readers just sitting there holding his face and anything else you wanna add !

if it’s a little complicated i understand, thank you have a great day :))

You were always in plain sight

❀ Word Count: 2,145 ❀ CW: Panic Attack, Discussions of Trauma, Pining, Admissions ❀ A/N: Added a few more scenes than requested. I hope you enjoy!

He’s going to panic, you think to yourself.

In fact, his body was already panicking, even if he wasn’t. Nina is too focused on the target's heart rate to notice, but Kaz’s heart rate has been slowly increasing ever since he took off the gloves.

You watch as the woman they were meeting with gets up, and Kaz goes to follow. Unfortunately, another woman immediately runs into him, spilling tea all over the front of him, and definitely accidentally touching him.

“Give me his gloves,” You whisper to Inej.

She hands them over silently. You put on your own set of gloves, a pair you keep on you in the event something like this happens.

Nina places her hand on top of Kaz’ and you watch the life drain from his face. And then he’s running.

“You follow the target. I’ve got him.” You say.

It doesn’t take you long to catch up to him, but by then he’s already completely disassociated and in complete panic. You take him by the arm, leading him to an empty alley, careful only to touch the clothed parts of his arm. Even with your hands in gloves, you are worried any kind of touch to his exposed hands will send him spiraling further.

He collapses to the ground in an unceremonious heap.

“You were supposed to follow her,” He says.

“Inej has it covered.” You reply, sitting down on the opposite side of the alley, a decent distance from him.

There’s a moment of silence before you add, “Someone had to follow you. You can’t be by yourself when your…” And you don’t know how to finish the sentence. Traumatized? Panicking? Having a PTSD flashback to an event you refuse to discuss with anyone? “...like this.”

It pains you to see him so deep in his own pain, so desperate to keep other people out of it. To keep you out of it. You place his gloves close to him, but far enough away that it doesn’t look like you’re trying to touch him.

He notices your gloves, “When did you-?”

“A while ago. There just in case-” And you cut yourself off with a sigh. In case this happened. “Do you want me to stay?”

Yes? Kaz thinks, but he’s still panicking too much to say anything. In fact, the thought sends him into even more of a panic, because he’s not ever had a thought like that before.

“I’ll be on the other side of the alley. We’ll regroup once you’ve had a chance to calm down.” You say, leaving him to decompress.

XXXXX

“Nina wants an explanation,” Inej tells you as you watch over Kaz from a distance. He’s finally come out of the worst of it and is now trying to act like nothing happened. It’s a behavior that you simply have never gotten used to, despite years by his side.

“Then tell her the truth.” You say.

“Which is?” Inej asks. She sometimes thinks you know more than she does, but that’s not really true. You both know exactly the same thing about Kaz- which is that Pekka Rollins killed his brother and that he absolutely cannot stand another person’s touch.

“He had a panic attack.” You reply. “She’s not going to tell the others, is she?”

“No. But I think Jesper should know. He hates it when we leave him out of the loop.” Inej states.

“I think I’m going to try to talk to him this time. See what else is going on.” You say, watching as Kaz sits down, clearly deep in thought.

“I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”

“I didn’t think you’d be happy about that idea.” You say, cleaning the dirt from under your nails.

“He will open up when he’s ready.” Inej tries to reassure you.

“We both know he’d never be that vulnerable.”

“Then why ask?” She asks.

So I know how to fix it.

“Let’s just get this over with, shall we? The world isn’t going to save itself.” You state, heading towards Kaz and the rest of the group to figure out the plan. Maybe you’ll ask him once all of this over.

XXXXX

“We should talk about what happened in the market.” You say, sitting on his desk.

“Must we?” Kaz replies, lowering the newspaper he had been reading to meet your gaze.

“Yes.”

He set the paper aside, making his way over to you. He towers over you in a way he’s never done before, closer than he’s ever been. “What do you want to know?”

“I want to know what happened.”

“You saw what happened,” He says as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

“I want to know why, Kaz.” You respond.

“Why?” He retorts. Is he flirting with you or just trying to get under your skin?

“I want to fix it. Or prevent it or- I don’t know! I just. I never want to see you like that again. I don’t want to see you suffer.”

“It won’t happen again,” He reassures you, a gloved hand coming up to caress your face. You block it with the back of your forearm.

“Won’t it? Jesper told me what happened when you got thrown in that cart together. I watched as you tried not to panic while helping Inej clean her wounds. Do you think I can’t sense your heart rate when people get too close to you? That I don’t know exactly how your body reacts? Who hurt you so badly that you can’t even be physically near another person without wanting to vomit?” You ramble, letting out all of the questions and feelings you’ve been holding inside for all of these years.

“Pekka Rollins” He replies, the answer he gave you before. It’s always been the answer, and in some ways, it really is the truth.

“Kaz… I just want you to let me in. You carry so much inside of you that you let nobody see. But I want to see it… I want to understand.” You say, and you want to reach out and hug him but you know he can’t receive that kind of affection.

But then he does something you aren’t excepting. Slowly, he begins to remove his gloves. He sets them on the fireplace, one by one. One of his ungloved hands traces its way up the side of your neck and rests on your cheek. You gasp at his touch.

And then you are staring into each other’s eyes, into each other’s souls. Like you’ve always seen each other- like you’ve always known. Kaz plays his cards close to his chest, but you don’t. Nina has teased you for it relentlessly.

When he kisses you, you can’t believe this is happening. It’s perfect. These are things he would only do in dreams. These are things he would only say in dreams. These are…

“This is a dream,” Kaz tells you, or rather, the Kaz of your imagination tells you as he ends the kiss.

“I know” You reply, opening your eyes.

You see Inej hunched over you and taste something disgusting in your mouth.

“We were poisoned. Go to the door- Wylan will give you another antidote.” She says before leaving to go wake up Jesper.

You crawl your way to the door, still feeling the lingering effects of the poison. “Wylan. Antidote?” You croak.

Once you are given the butterfly, you make your way over to Kaz, the only person still under the effects of the poison.

XXXXX

Kaz is confused. He wakes up, back on that mountain of bodies in the river, but his brother is alive.

“Jordie?” He asks, confused.

His brother stares at him, full of rage. Without a word, he begins to drown him. Just when Kaz has almost lost all of his oxygen, his brother pulls him back out from under the water.

“Who are you without your vengeance?” Jordie yells.

“Kaz. Wake up” You say, one gloved hand cupping the side of his face, the other moving his jaw to try to force him to chew. He can’t hear you.

“What is the worth of life if you have no one left to fight for?” Jordie asks, before plunging him under the water again.

“Kaz” You repeat, and he hears you this time. “You’re going to be alright”

You come into focus in a water gaze, the remnants of the poison still giving a dreamlike quality. It takes him a few moments to realize that it’s no longer a hallucination and that both of your hands are on his face. Gloved hands.

You pull your hands away from his face as soon as you see him come out of it.

“Sorry,” You say.

You don’t have to apologize, he thinks.

XXXXX

“Kaz, a word?” You say, wanting to get him alone. You’ve obtained the Neshyenyer and are getting ready to head to East Ravka.

He nods in acknowledgment while the others in the room make no effort to leave.

“Alone.” You add, so the others get the picture.

Everyone exchanges suspicious glances with one another except Kaz, who is only looking at you. Nina winks as she passes you on her way out of the room. You resist the urge to roll your eyes.

You position yourself by the door, a good five feet away from him, in order to respect his boundaries. The boundaries that you’ve consistently had to cross recently to protect him.

“What do you need?” He asks.

“Are you okay?” You ask.

Of course he isn’t, but you want him to admit that. You suspect he’ll respond with something defensive, something clever, something like “Why wouldn’t I be okay?” or “Why does it matter?” or “We have a job to do”. For it to be like the dream.

“Are you?” He responds.

“No. And I’m getting a little tired of pretending I am.” You answer honestly. The difference between you, and all the other crows, and hell, everyone else that you interact with, is that you aren’t emotionally repressed. You don’t hide it under a sense of revenge, don’t mask it with a face of no emotion, and don’t keep your true thoughts and feelings hidden under a veil of humor. He told you it was a weakness, once.

“You’re still wearing the gloves.” He comments.

You glance down at your gloved hands and then back at him. “So I am.”

“You don’t have to do that for me.” You don’t have to do anything for me, He thinks.

“I know.” You say, “I just don’t want to hurt you.”

There is a long silence as you look at each other, not really sure what to say.

“I wanted you to stay,” He states, looking away from you. Almost as if he’s ashamed that he’s allowing himself to be this vulnerable. “When you asked me in the alley… I wanted you to stay.”

You feel your breath catch in your throat at the admission. Maybe the poison-induced hallucination wasn’t too farfetched after all.

“I’ll stay.” You take a step towards him, still unsure of his boundaries. Still unsure how close or far you can get without causing him pain.

“Will you tell me why?” You ask. I can’t help you through something when I don’t know why it causes you pain.

“I don’t know if I can,” It’s the first genuine answer you’ve gotten out of him in a long time.

“When we were poisoned I- you were in my hallucination,” You admit, taking a few more steps closer to him.

“What happened in your hallucination?” He asks. Throughout this, he’s made no effort to move from his seat at the table, but his heartbeat has become steadily faster, stronger.

“I was angry at you- but you seemed to understand why. And you took your gloves off and touched me and- that’s how I knew it wasn’t real.” You reply. “What did you hallucinate?” You add, not wanting him to ruminate on your confession too long.

“My brother was drowning me,” He states.

“I’m sorry,” You say, reflexively.

“He asked me, ‘What is the worth of life if you have no one left to fight for?’ and then I saw you,” You’ve never seen him sheepish before- vulnerability doesn’t exactly suit him.

“Oh,” You breathe. “So what now?”

“We go to East Ravka.”

“Right,” You say, trying not to let the disappointment show in your voice. “Time to save the world. Again.”

“We’re not saving it. We’re just getting paid.” Kaz responds.

You steel yourself, trying not to beat yourself up for thinking you were finally getting somewhere. That this would be anything more than words.

"After. We will discuss us after." He adds, quelling your doubt. "We still have a job to do."

You nod.

"I'm here if you need me." You say, turning to leave.

"I know," Kaz replies.

#kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker x you #kaz brekker x y/n #kaz brekker x gn!reader #aspiring thanatologist writes #title is pulled from the lyrics of only you lonely you by andrew lloyd webber

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