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b4mpyre-k1zz3s · 6 months

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hello! I’m a big fan of your jackass fanfics and I have a request. What if Knoxville and reader just had a baby (reader is in the jackass crew) and they bring the baby on set and surprise the boys??? Sorry if this is too long 😭😭 anyways love ya bye 😘🫶🏽

Baby on Board

Y/N and Johnny bring their son on set one day, not realizing what chaos may erupt!

Johnny Knoxville X Fem!Reader

(Fluff)

820 Words

Warnings: None! :)

An: Thank you for the request!! Your request was not too long at all and I really enjoy long requests in general! ;) Anyways, as a warning I have been around very few babies in my life besides in passing, much less responsible for one, so I hope this is all accurate to real baby behavior! As a side note I’d like to thank you all for getting me to 100 followers! This probably deserves it’s own post but I just want to say that I’m so happy so many people enjoy what I write! I would love to do some sort of special or unique fic to come rate, so please send me any and all requests! :)

“So…that’s your baby?” Steve peered curiously at the little human in Johnny’s arms. He chuckled a little, “Well, it’s more Y/ baby. She did all the work- I just made a deposit at the bank.” It was a slow day on set, so you and your husband decided to bring in your new baby to meet the guys. You didn’t really know what to expect, but you were pleasantly surprised as your son reached out a little hand to Steve and his eyes went wide. It was no mystery that he hated babies in general, on account of their propensity for being doorstops that shit and cried, but for some reason this was different. Johnny noticed his reaction and cracked a smile, “If you want, you could hold’em.”

He nodded but didn’t really seem to know what to do after Johnny handed him over, just sort of holding your baby like this precious, fragile thing in his arms. It was sweet, in a way. While he was busy marveling, a production assistant came up and tapped Johnny on the shoulder, whispering something in his ear before trying to hurriedly usher him and you away to something or other that needed to be attended to on set. Johnny quickly turned to Steve as he walked away, “Hey, we’ll be back in five! Think y’could watch him?” There really wasn’t any way he could say no. “Uh, sure, I guess…?” Of course, that was the exact moment your son pooed all over him.

Maybe he wasn’t wrong about babies being doorstops that shat. Though he still looked calm, Steve’s eyes had a trace of panic behind them as he nervously looked around for someone on set to hand your son off to while he went to the bathroom to clean the stuff dripping off of his arm. The first person he found was maybe the only worse person to give a baby to- Ryan. He handed off that drooling little bundle of joy to him in the blink of an eye as he rushed away, “Hey, dude- just hold onto this for a sec.”

He knew even less what to do with the thing, holding the baby at an arm’s length while he kicked his little legs and giggled. Ryan eyed it with suspicion, unsure of what to do next. Steve was long gone, and he didn’t know when he’d be back, so in a moment of quick thinking, he did the only rational thing- handing it off to someone else. Effectively, this baby was being passed around like a fat little babbling football.

Johnny squinted, eyeing him up and down with suspicion at the absence of your son, “Steve, where’s the kid?” He dried the water that dripped off of his recently washed hands on his camo shorts. He sighed and said like there was nothing wrong with it, “I gave him to Ry ‘cause he shat all over me.” Of all people to trust with your baby, you just had to pick Steve-O. You rubbed the space between your eyebrows in frustration, “It’s a baby. It’s gonna shit!”

And so the wild goose chase began. The two of you eventually found the man you were looking for leaning against the side of one of the makeup trailers, beer in hand. “Ryan! Where the hell’s my kid?” Johnny was getting exasperated at this point, as were you. Ryan shrugged nonchalantly, “Gave it to some production assistant lady- Y’know, the one with the hair.” You fell slack jawed and started to wonder if any of these men had been around a child before, much less responsible for one. He sipped his beer “What? It had ‘poopies’. I don’t do ‘poopies’.” Blinking in disbelief, you furrowed your brow, “Okay- okay. Do you have any idea where the woman is?” “Yeah! She’s here all the time- see her every day.” Really narrows it down. Frustrated, you turned to Johnny, “I can’t believe we trusted him with your idiot friends!- no offense, Ryan.” Ever unconcerned, he shrugged, “Hey, none taken.”

After a few panic-inducing minutes of rushing about on set and stumbling into dressing rooms people may or may not have been in (sorry, Bam), you eventually tracked down the aforementioned production assistant. It was Johnny actually who found her, tucked away in some quiet room on set with your son (who had a miraculously clean diaper)- and someone else. In all your time as a mother, you never saw a baby more captivated with anyone than he was with Chris, pawing at his long hair with tiny hands and giggling while he made silly noises to entertain him. “Pbbtt! Goo goo goo! A- pbbtt!”

Johnny cracked a smile and waved you over to look at the sight. God, it was heartwarming. Relieved, you softly awed and he wrapped an arm around you, pulling you close, “Well, I do think we’ve found our new babysitter.”

#jackass #bam margera #johnny knoxville #steve o #chris pontius #jackass fanfiction #jackass fanfic #fluff #jackass x reader #johnny knoxville x reader

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glitterinmyveinss · 6 months

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// say yes to heaven //

johnny knoxville x reader

authors note: Johnny goes by PJ, some things might be innacurate apologies in advance, mentions of homophobic slurs (i can say it)

❥༄ It's a warm july evening, the sunset sky looks like cotton candy, the kids are still out playing, and me and pj are on the steps of his trailer drinking some cold beers. i've known pj ever since me n my mom first moved to Tennesse at age 5. i ponder back on that moment, the memory still fresh in my mind.

❥༄ "y/n! get your boxes from the back of the uhaul girl!" my mother shouted. i sighed and made my way from the empty field to the back of the van we came in while my mother put her belongings inside our new home. a boy around my age with dark chocolate hair, warm brown eyes, and a horrendous haircut came up to me. "are you my new neighbors?" he asked enthusiastically. i nodded shyly. "cool! i'm pj by the way. my trailers right there." i glanced over to where he was pointing. i noticed a brown trailer with white stripes, white steps, and various beer cans and cigarette butts littering the patch of grass in front. i turned back to him and introduced myself back. "my names y/n. my parents divorced so we moved here." "mine are divorced too! wanna be friends?" we've been inseparable ever since.

❥༄ i set down my can with a sigh and put my hands in my hair. i've lived in the same trailer ever since, things never really got better for me and my mom. i started working at the local jcpennys working the beauty department but that's it, and Pjs been working with his dad at his auto repair shop ever since we were 13. pj turned to look at me, his brows furrowed and his eyes fixated on me. "what's troublin' you doll?" i picked my head up with a sad smile. i loved when he called me that. "whens it gonna get better peej?" i let out a dry chuckle. "i mean are we just gonna stay in this town our whole lives? living pay check to pay check?" he huffed and turned away from me. "i don't know y/n...why are you bringing this up?" "because i don't want that to be my life pj. maybe it was good for our parents but...don't you want different?" he took another sip from his can and a long drag from his cigarette and was quiet for a while. "of course i want different but it's not that simple y/n...plus the world needs workers like us and our parents anyway." i couldnt belive what he was saying. it was so out of character for him. he was never one to conform to society despite us growing up in the south where you'd get called a fag for just about anything. but people didn't care when it came to pj. he could be wearing a tutu and still look cool. that's why i didn't understand why he was giving up his future to stay in a town like this when the world had so much more to offer him, to offer us. "you know, i don't get you sometimes pj." i threw my can on the porch and sat up. "when are you gonna wake up y/n?" he shouted at me. i looked at him wint utter confusion painted on my face. he stared back at me with those piercing dark eyes. anytime i looked into them, it was like i was stuck in place, and like the rest of the world was no more, just me and pj. "w-what do you mean?" i spoke. he scoffed at me and continued, still shouting. "do you think it's that easy? that we can just leave this all behind and start a new life like that?" i huffed in frustration and crossed my arms, "that's not what i meant and you know it. i just meant that we both have dreams pj. what about your writing?" he turned away from me and shook his head, his eyes were even darker now due to his mood. i noticed there were imprints on his can due to his grip on it. "what about my writing y/n? you heard my dad." a while ago, pj shared with his dad his dreams of being a writer, and how he wanted to write for this magazine in LA, just to get his foot out the door. his dad didn't take it well at all and said he better get the wrench he asked for because writing won't pay the bills. i stayed quiet, not knowing what to say. pj got up to stomp his cigarette out. when he was done he locked eyes with me. he stared at me with such intensity, it made my knees buckle and my stomach flip. maybe it's a good thing he wore shades 99.9% of the time. i wanted nothing more than to reach out and hug him, let him know that anyone who doubted him didn't know what they were talking about. that me and him could make it on our own. but we were just friends. and he was even more stubborn drunk than he was sober. he turned to go inside then stopped. "you better get home y/n...it's getting dark." i felt the tears sting the corners of my eyes, like bees in the summer time. this wasn't the first time we fought like this, but it's the first time he didn't invite me in afterwards. usually he'd say something along the lines of sorry, or how he has some left over apple pie he needs help eating, really he would say any excuse. but this time, it was like he wanted nothing to do with me. "you're a coward philip and you know it." i shouted. "you have just as much potential as anyone else in this world to do something great, but you're scared!" he stayed with his back towards me, his fists clenched and his head low. "leave y/n."

❥༄ i stared at him until my vision became blurry with tears, which didn't take long. i've always been emotional. i ran away from him, in the direction of our old elementary. i always went there when things became too much to handle and i just needed somewhere to escape to. once i got there i sat on the old rusty swings that squeaked each time you swayed. i felt like shit. maybe i was too hard on pj. it's just that all i wanted was for me and him to have a good future. maybe the reason why i got so mad was because i imagined our futures would be us as lovers, not best friends. i wish i brought one of those beers before i left. i heard rustling coming from my left side and when i turned to look, i saw pj. i turned away and stared at the ground. it was quiet for a while while he sat on the swing beside me. "i'm sorry doll. i didn't mean to yell at you like that, you know how i get when i drink coors." i began to sob as i spoke, "no peej i'm sorry, i was too hard on you." i put my head in my hands and hid my face. pjs eyes scrunched up as he began laughing at me. "oh come on y/n, no need to bring out the water works. we're all good girl" he moved his hand and began rubbing my back. i sniffled and picked my head up, turning to him with a small smile that he returned.

❥༄ it was like that for a while. just me and pj swaying back and forth, till he spoke up. "you know i'm not a coward y/n..." i faced him and frantically began explaining myself. "i know pj i'm sorry it's j-" he cut me off. "the only reason why i'm not doing what i want is because... i wanna keep you close to me." i stayed staring at him. my eyes wider than usual, and my lips tucked between my teeth. "the magazine i wanna write for is based in LA. that means i would have to move there." i remained quiet. he turned to look at me. "come on y/n say some-" it was probably the alcohol more than me, but out of no where, i decided to kiss him. his lips were warm snd soft, i could still taste the cigarettes and coors on his breath. i felt euphoric and nauseous all at once. i pulled away awkwardly and faced him. "i'm sorry peej, i don't know-" he cupped the side of my face and pulled me in for a second kiss. after a minute we pulled away, but we were stuck staring at eachother, like one would disappear if the other dared to look away. "i'll go with you." i spoke, barely above a whisper. pj scrunched his face in confusion. "pardon?" i rolled my eyes at him. sometimes he was such an airhead. "i'll go with you to LA. just say the word and i'll go pj." he stared at me with a goofy crooked smile and picked me up from the swing. i squealed as he threw me over his shoulder. "let's start packing then. we'll get the first flight out as soon as we're done." even though i was upside down and felt dizzy, i couldn't be happier.

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therealpontius · 1 year

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Can we talk about how johnny got a boner after wrestling with a girl

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knoxvillesjackass · 1 year

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hello! I had an idea of No Nut November with Johnny x female reader. The jackass guys all dare each other to do it and the winner couple is who lasts the longest. When his girlfriend finds out, she keeps teasing him and it all ends in smut!! Love your stories!! ❤️

𝐧𝐨 𝐧𝐮𝐭 𝐧𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫 - 𝐣.𝐤

im so happy to finally see a smut request!! pls, send some more, because i want to get better at writing it! also, do you guys enjoy reading it or do you like fluff and/or angst better?

warnings! edging, oral sex dom!johnny x sub!reader? ( reader receiving and giving), dirty talk, very dirty hihi

words; 3.375

It was bizarre. Annoying, really. You’d given him every opportunity in the world to rail you, blow your back out and make you incapable of walking for the day…All of your attempts were shut down, which was new for you.

Usually, all you had to do was send the smallest signal to Johnny, and he would be ready at any time, but the past two weeks had been different.

He’d been avoiding you, it seemed. He only kissed you when he left for work, and he’d even slept on the couch for some nights.

You’d been left confused and a little hurt by it all. Had you done something wrong, or was he perhaps just not attracted to you anymore?

The thoughts killed you, but it killed him even more. If it hadn’t been for that stupid bet….

“A month without sex? You’ve gotta be shitting me,” Johnny shook his head as the room erupted in laughter, but he was totally serious.

He couldn’t believe that he was the only one objecting to this nonsense. The concept was idiotic and frankly childish.

Steve-O had been the one to bring it up during lunch break. Everyone had shrugged it off, but as the tension grew thicker throughout the day, everyone suddenly began to take it very seriously, Johnny included.

So, as stupid as he thought it was, Johnny was knee-deep in the ‘No Nut November’ phenomenon, even though he hated the idea.

You and Johnny had sex a lot. No shame in that. Just two adults, who loved each other very much. What Johnny did feel off about, was that all of his friends knew just how much sex you had. How? Well, at every given chance to escape the craziness of the crew, the two of you did. And you didn’t do it to have conversations and drink tea. No, you did it to fuck.

Johnny had been labelled as the guy to fail the quickest, and it didn’t sit right with him one bit.

Luckily for him, his self-control was a different ball game. He had more control than all of the jackass guys combined. If there was a will, there was a way, and Johnny never let himself down once he had a goal.

“Oh, y-you’re participating?” Steve-O asked Johnny, who shrugged and nodded. “Yeah,” he huffed, and the room once again erupted in laughter, this time, it sounded more ridiculing than anything.

“What?” He asked confused and scoffed as he stared back at his wide-eyed friends. “Dude, you’re not going to last for two days,” Pontius grinned, Johnny returning a simple growl. “Let’s just fucking see, shall we?”

“Hi, baby!”

You grinned excitedly as Johnny entered your shared apartment. You wrapped your arms around him tightly, furrowing your eyebrows at once when you didn’t feel him embracing you.

“Are you okay?” You asked and unwrapped your arms around his waist, looking up at him innocently. “Y-Yeah, I’m fine, Y/N, I’m just tired. Think I’m gonna go take a shower,” he commented, his eyes focused straight ahead and not down at you.

“Oh, okay. Well, I could join,” you smirked and winked at him, but he merely shook his head and smiled politely before disappearing to the bathroom.

Well, that sucked, you thought.

He was probably just tired. He’d been working long hours, and maybe all the man needed was some space.

You’d attempted to be the understanding girlfriend, even when you felt ignored by Johnny.

The first few days went by okay, although the hours seemed to get longer as the days went by. The week overall was manageable but when the second week struck, Johnny was beginning to struggle.

The day of your anniversary, you'd made everything really special for Johnny. Dressed up nice, cooked some good food, and made the bathtub the perfect place to end the night, together.

When he'd come home, he'd acted just as you'd feared.

Distant and seemingly blind to the effort you'd put into making your fourth anniversary a special one.

The dinner was awkward and you hated the tension. You broke the silence every minute, asking him questions to which he answered with simple and short sentences.

"I have a surprise for you," you smirked. Maybe what he needed was some extra spice, and that was what you were going to give him.

"A surprise?" He asked as he was washing the dishes. He jumped when he felt your arms snake around his waist. Johnny moved away and coughed. His boxers were starting to feel tight, uncomfortably tight.

You grabbed his hand and dragged him to the bathroom. You'd scattered rose petals on the floor and lit some candles. It was the most romantic bathroom you'd ever seen, but Johnny didn't seem to agree.

"O-Oh, Y/N," Johnny coughed nervously and slowly backed out of the bathroom.

"Did I do something wrong? Are you trying to punish me or something? Please, tell me what's going on!"

"No, Y/N-"

"Then why won't you FUCK ME?" You shouted and sniffled. Johnny's heart tore a bit. He wanted to tell you, he really did, but with the mood and how you were feeling, it didn't seem as if it would've been a massive help in his eyes.

The next days were rough. You were upset, understandably. Johnny continued his odd behaviour and you were just about done with it all.

“Just tell me now; when did you give in and how was it?”

Bam stood like a little child next to Johnny and giggled, but Johnny rolled his eyes underneath his sunglasses and sighed.

“I haven’t given in yet, and I’m not going to, so you might as well quit bothering me.”

Bam scoffed at the answer he got from Johnny, but he hadn’t expected much else, considering Johnny’s recent behaviour.

He was in a pissy mood. He was at conflict with himself at all times. The whole dare had transformed into something beyond his control. He was so competitive, sometimes it scared people.

Johnny sat down in the conference room, where the crew held their weekly meetings. He cursed to himself and looked around. Pontius, Steve-O and Jeff sat and looked at him with smug grins.

“How’re you holding up over there, Knoxville?” Jeff asked, to which he received a middle finger from Knoxville.

“It’s been a long time since I've seen Y/N around? When is she coming by again?" Pontius pouted. Just the thought of your name at this point, could get Johnny hot and bothered.

"I-She's not," Johnny mumbled and rubbed his sweaty forehead. Was it just him, or was it starting to get super hot?

"That's weird. I talked to her this morning. She said, she's dropping by to say hello," Jeff said and immediately, Johnny tensed up.

"What?" He asked. He hated to even think it, but you were the last person he needed to see now.

"Y/N!" Wee-man yelled as soon as he saw your figure in the doorway.

Johnny hid his face in his hands as soon as he heard your voice. He imagined you saying his name, moaning it, screaming it.

"Hi, guys," you smiled and entered the conference room, greeting all of the guys with a hug, moving your way around the table until you reached Johnny. "Hi, babe," you smiled and leaned down to plant a kiss on his lips, although he moved away almost immediately.

You scoffed and stood up. What had you expected? He'd only been treating you like that for the last two weeks.

"Well, I can see that I'm not wanted here," you mumbled but were quickly met with reassurance from everyone but Johnny.

"Why would you think that?" Jeff asked, "we love having you here, Y/N."

"You might, but I think Johnny feels a bit different," you hissed and glared at Johnny, who slapped his forehead.

Suddenly, Ehren began laughing hysterically, to everyone's surprise. "Wait, you haven't told her yet?" He grinned and the boys slowly caught on and joined Ehren's laughing fit.

Johnny was so not having it. His fists were curled and his jaw was clenched. And you, you were utterly confused as to what was going on.

"Told me what?"

You raised your eyebrow and looked down at Johnny, who refused eye contact at all costs, the guilt weighing him down like uranium.

"We dared each other do the no nut Novem-"

"Don't even finish that sentence," you said and cut Ehren off. You were quiet for a few moments, trying to assemble yourself before speaking up.

"You wanna explain yourself, asshole?" You spat and looked down at Johnny, who sighed and looked up at you.

"Y/N, I'm so so-"

"Do you guys know how long it's been since I've had sex with my boyfriend?" I asked into the room and the guys all chuckled.

Of course, they knew. They were a part of it too, after all.

"Two weeks!"

It didn't sound like a lot, but anyone who knew you and Johnny understood that this was totally out of the ordinary.

"You're telling me I have to wait two weeks before he can bang me? How many of you guys are still in this bullshit?" You asked loudly to which Pontius, Jeff, Ehren and Wee-Man's hands went up.

"Fuck this," you sighed. You knew just how competitive Johnny was. Nothing could get in his way. Literally nothing, but then again, if anyone had the slightest chance, it was most definitely you.

"Y/N?"

You sighed at the sound of Johnny's voice.

Your fingers were curled inside of yourself as you lay spread across the bed.

You continued, although the sound of Johnny's footsteps came closer and closer.

You closed your eyes and began rubbing your clit, letting out a quiet moan.

"Y/N-fuck," Johnny breathed out when he walked in on you pleasuring yourself. His cock was throbbing at the sight of your naked body, but he denied all of those feelings and shuffled out of the room. The sight had made him hard as a rock.

"Johnny!" You called out. An idea had popped into your head.

He opened the door and peeked in. Your legs were spread open and they were trembling with anticipation.

"Huh?" He asked you. His eyes were almost closed. He couldn't bare to see more.

"Look, I know you're not allowed to cum or whatever, but I'm horny and I need your help," you stated and Johnny's eyes opened wide. You might be on to something, he thought.

Pleasuring you always brought Johnny pleasure, he didn't even have to pull his dick out for this one.

He smiled and rushed over to you.

He wasted no time digging his two fingers into your cunt, plunging them in and out of your wet entrance. His head rested between your legs as his tongue made contact with your clit. You reached down and grabbed a handful of his hair. God, he loved it when you did that.

What he loved, even more, was the way his name sounded when you screamed it out of pure pleasure. "Fuck, Johnny!" You cried and grabbed his one hand that wasn't fucking your cunt and pulling it up to your breast, signalling for him to massage it, which he did, gladly.

Johnny smiled against your folds and licked them up and down, ever so often pinching your sensitive clit between his lips, which drove you crazy.

"I-I think I'm g-"

"Look at me, babydoll," he ordered and you followed, looking directly into his dark brown eyes. You couldn't contain the eye contact for long though, because your eyes rolled into the back of your head and you let out a loud cry as you reached your awaited orgasm.

You tugged at Johnny's hair and breathed in loudly, trying to gather yourself.

"J-Johnny, just fuck me already, please," you sobbed and looked at Johnny.

The offer was so tempting, but he just couldn't. He snapped out of his thoughts when he felt his jeans tightening to the point of it being uncomfortable.

"O-Oh, shi-" he hissed and suddenly flew away from his position. You looked him up and down, eyes landing on the massive boner, he had packed. You held back an evil laugh as Johnny stormed out of the room. "Where are you going?" You yelled as you stood up from the bed.

"I-I'm just gonna go for a drive!" he yelled back and slammed the door. He wasn't angry with you, and you knew that. He was angry with himself. This bet was starting to get really fucking old.

The next days were seriously awful for Johnny. After helping you out, he realised that it might've been a bad idea.

The only thing on his mind was the feeling of your pretty cunt against his fingers and the sound of your screams still rang in his ears every now and then.

And you'd, of course, been making his life a living hell. Walking around naked in the apartment or dressing up in your sexiest lingerie.

Johnny kept himself together, though, and you had to give him credit. He'd handled it all very well, better than you ever could.

(random a/n; this same-ish story, but where the reader is dared?)

The end of November was just around the corner, thankfully. Sure, Johnny's hands were equivalent to magic, but nothing beat the feeling of his cock ramming into you.

You couldn't wait, quite literally. Johnny was so much better at staying committed to a dare than you. You needed him. Like, really needed him.

"Johnnyyyy," you whined and threw yourself at him like a little toddler,

He wasn't as sensitive as before. It seemed that the roles had taken a 180 because you were hornier than ever.

Johnny was sitting with his computer when you suddenly planted yourself in his lap and hugged him tightly.

"What's going on?" He asked and rubbed your back.

"I want it so badly," you whispered and bit your lip. Johnny stiffened up and shifted uncomfortably around on the couch. "Three days to go, Y/N," he comforted you, but that wasn't good enough. "No, but like, now," you said and reached down to straddle his cock. He let out a yelp and lifted you from his lap to the seat beside him as he stood up and paced around.

He was frustrated. It was really not fun anymore. Actually, it never was.

Johnny hurried to his phone and put the phone to his ear.

"Chris, you tell me now and be honest; who's still a part of this November bullshit?" Johnny asked. You smiled to yourself and crossed your fingers.

No one, please say no one.

You couldn't quite hear the rest of the conversation. You didn't really care either, because when Johnny came out, he had darker eyes and a wicked smirk on his lips.

"Go to the bedroom and take your clothes off. I'll be up in two minutes."

You squealed with excitement and ran up the stairs faster than ever.

You stripped out of your clothes and threw them to the side, feeling a knot in your stomach, waiting to be untied.

Johnny entered the room. He'd taken his shirt off on the way up the stairs.

"Get on your knees," Johnny ordered and you did so immediately and without protest of any sort.

The room was pretty dark, but you could still see Johnny's crooked smirk.

He approached you, stopping when he stood right in front of your kneeled figure.

He brushed some hair out of your face and cupped your cheeks as you stared up at him, batting your eyelashes.

He gathered your hair into a ponytail at the back of your head and tied it with the hair tie he had around his wrist.

"Fuck, I've missed your mouth," he moaned and unbuttoned his pants, not even bothering to pull them all the way down. And you were just as desperate to please him again, so without waiting any longer, you took a hold of his rock-hard length and gave it a few pumps. Johnny threw his head back when you put just the tip into your mouth. Impatient and understandably needy, Johnny skipped your slow tempo and grabbed the back of your head, pushing his cock into your mouth fully.

After four years of dating Johnny, your gag reflex was pretty much non-existent.

He began gently thrusting himself into your mouth and then sped up until you eventually could feel his tip at the end of your throat.

You watched with tears in your ears as your boyfriend had lost himself in you, thrusting himself into your mouth again and again until he was a mumbling, moaning mess, cumming down your throat.

You swallowed and Johnny watched you in admiration as he offered you his hand to help you stand up.

Your lips crashed together for the first time in weeks, and you moaned into the kiss when you reached the bed. Johnny put a hand behind your head and the other one on your back, slowly lowering you on the bed as he hovered over you with a hungry, lust-filled gaze.

You were merely wearing his t-shirt and a pair of old shorts, which Johnny quickly tore away, your underwear following. He pulled the shirt from over your head and admired your naked body for a while, before snapping out of his trance to return to his duty.

He began placing kisses down your chest but you pulled him up when you saw where he was going. You grabbed his hand and forced it down to your dripping cunt. "I don't need anything, I just want you to fuck me," you nodded and Johnny smiled. Foreplay was always a big thing in your relationship. It was a way to ensure that both parts were 100% ready, but there was no doubt in your mind; you were ready.

"You're still on the pill despite this stupid bet, right?" He asked and you nodded. He knew how bad you were at forgetting it, and he often scolded you for it.

"Good girl," he whispered raspily. That made your heart melt.

His tip was at your entrance, and you wondered if the three weeks had changed something within you. Was it going to hurt after that long with no sex?

You shook every thought off when Johnny placed a kiss on your forehead and slowly pushed into you.

"Ah-!"

Johnny looked at you with wide eyes. You apologised quietly.

"It must be because it's been a while," you said and Johnny nodded, understanding what you were feeling.

He continued pushing his member into you and watched you closely as you clenched your eyes shut and dug your nails into his wide shoulders.

He rested for a while, waiting for your sign to move, and when that sign came, he began pumping in and out of you slowly but deeply.

You grasped onto him and pulled him as close as possible while also wrapping your legs around his waist. "F-Faster," you moaned with closed eyes and Johnny grunted as he sped up, fucking you at an impossibly fast pace.

Everything seemed to go dull for a short moment. Your pussy clenched and your belly contracted tightly when a wave of pleasure hit you like a thousand bricks.

"I-Oh, my God!"

Your nails dug deeply into Johnny's back and you scratched them up towards his neck, where they rested, fiddling with the ends of his brown hair.

"Look at me, baby," Johnny ordered and continued his thrusts. You had to collect yourself before even listening to his orders, but Johnny was impatient and close to an orgasm, so he didn't have much time.

"Y/N, I said look at me," he repeated. The tone made you look at him immediately and you bit your lip and moaned loudly as you watched him orgasm for the second time that night.

"Fuuuck-urgh, baby!"

He trembled and with one last thrust, he pulled out of you and fell down beside you with a heavy but satisfied sigh.

"This November has been the best and worst of my life," you sighed and Johnny laughed in agreement as he kissed your forehead and snuggled you closer.

probably my favourite smut i've ever written, but what do you think?

#johnny knoxville fanfic #johnny knoxville jackass #jackass #jackass x reader #johnny knoxville #jackass imagine #chris pontius #dave england #ehren danger #preston lacy #ryan dunn #wee man #johnny knoxville fluff #johnny knoxville smut #johnny knoxville imagine

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dangerehrenn · 1 year

Note

Can you do an aftercare HC with Knoxville?

fem!reader

johnny & aftercare

sex with johnny can either be incredibly sweet, slow and romantic

or rough, fast and dirty

barely no in between

regardless of the sex you have, he believes it’s very important to give you aftercare

he’ll always praise you

“you did an amazing job, doll”

“my gorgeous, gorgeous girl”

he’ll clean you with a damp cloth

if you’ve taken it rougher than usual he’ll run you a bath

he’ll join you if you want, he wants you as comfortable as possible

gets you both ice water, and makes sure you drink enough of it

(hydrated king)

he definitely brushes your hair for you after rough sex

especially if he’s had his hand in it while you were on your knees for him

he feels bad for getting it knotty

he’ll get you fresh underwear / pyjamas

and you can chill and watch a movie together

or just listen to some music while you talk about whatever’s on your mind

he wants you to be as relaxed as possible

always offering you snacks

“you sure you don’t want anything? not even a candy bar?”

knox is an absolute angel after sex

#jackass #johnny knoxville x reader #johnny knoxville headcanons #johnny knoxville smut #jackass hcs #jackass fanfic #jackass headcanons #jackass x reader #chris pontius x reader #bam margera x reader #steveo x reader

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philipjohnclapp · 10 months

Note

Heyy idk of ur requests are open

If they are, could you please do some head canons with Steve-o with a 2000s popstar reader like, kind of like Britney Spears because I fucking love her btw looooove ur writing 💗💗💗

Steve-O Dating a Popstar Reader Headcanons

A/N: I hope this is okay, I’ve mastered Steve-O to a T, Y/N? Not so much. This might work; if y’all want more feel free to request. implied female reader.

- You’re his bimbo girlfriend even if you aren’t a bimbo.

- That’s his name for you.

- He thinks your smoking hot.

- Wonders how he ended up with you.

- His friends think you’re an escort, at least at first they did.

- Now they think you’re his sugar baby.

- Listens to all your music and is very supportive; even though he’s a rocking roll man.

- Fucked around once and turned the amplifier up so loud, and got so close his ears bled.

- Was listening to your music at the time, he said your music was and I quote “so good that his ears bled.”

- Literally almost went deaf.

- He goes with you everywhere pretty much, you call him your “trophy boyfriend.”

- Definitely do all the “rockstar” like shit and get wasted.

- You constantly tell him you aren’t a rockstar.

- One time he asked you if you were friends with Tommy Lee.

- He got jealous?

- And then he threw up and passed out.

- Y’all cuddle every night.

- Especially after sex.

- Let’s you sometimes do makeup on him, he proceeded to bat his lashes and then he was kissing all the guys to mess with him.

- Somehow he contracted crabs or something from it and you made him sleep in a different room for like a month.

- He was sad.

- ALWAYS I mean ALWAYS does some sort of trick on stage before you preform.

- Hangs out in the mosh pit a LOT.

- Sometimes as a gag when you bring him on stage he acts like a fan girl and goes nuts.

- Kisses you with tongue in front of everyone.

- Especially on stage just because.

- Tried to learn the guitar so he could preform with you and he failed.

- That also made him reaally sad.

#jackass #ao3 writer #jackass fanfiction #johnny knoxville #jackass headcanons #steve o #angst prompt #drabble #please request #chris pontius #steve o x reader #fem reader #smut #fluff #steve o smut #steve o fanfiction #jackass 2 #jackass 3d #jackass fanfic

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dilfville · 2 years

Text

Imagine eating dinner and Johnny Knoxville is next to you, setting fire to wee mans chair

#jackass #jackass forever #jackass x reader #johnny knoxville #bam margera #jackass edit #chris pontius #cky crew #ryan dunn #steve o #Preston lacy #weeman #shark week #johnny knoxville x reader #johnny knoxville fanfic #dave england #danger ehren #ehren mcghehey

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dunnswrld · 2 years

Note

hey hey hey!! i love your writing and just wanted to request something cute and sweet with my love, chris pontius <333 I’ll give you creative freedom, because I’m not good at ideas haha. she/her pronouns please, and just make it fluffy! i’m not picky lol

i love your work and hope you’re doing well!! :))

Bad Day

a/n: Thank you! I'm so sorry that this is so short and not the best..

prompt: You haven't had the best day on the set of Wildboyz, and when something happens that causes you to finally snap Chris is the first to try and help you feel better!

warnings: Just fluff, fem!reader

Today just didn't seem to be your day on the set of Wildboyz. Firstly your camera settings were fucked up which was something you didn't realize till after the boys shot their whole opener, earning a rather mean talk from Rick.

Secondly you dropped your morning coffee and were already to far out in the forest to go back and grab another which meant zero energy due to your lack of sleep last night.

Thirdly Jeff thought it would be funny to dump a bucket of water on you, on any other day you probably would've laugh but today it was the last thing you needed.

And for the cherry on top your landlord is evicting you because he said it's "suspicious" that your never home, even after you explained your job to him he didn't budge.

You didn't know why you were having such a bad day today, maybe you were about to start your period? Or you simply just woke up on the wrong side of the bed?

But either way you couldn't wait till your watch hit 6:30pm so you could return back to your hotel room and order room service cause you thought you deserved it.

You walked in the crew that followed Jeff, Chris, and Steve-o going to lead everyone god knows where. Usually you might've been right up front talking to the three boys but today just didn't feel like the day.

As you walked you checked the buttons on your camera, making sure all the settings were right so you didn't get called a "fucking amateur" by Rick again.

But while you focused on the many buttons on your camera your left foot hit something hard causing the left side of your body to freeze as the right kept moving causing your body to fall forward. Your camera seemed to fly out of your own hands as your body hit the ground hard.

The whole crew in front of you stopped walking when they heard the sound of something hitting the ground, when they turned they saw you pushing yourself up off the ground. The whole front of your body covered in mud as you sat on your knees.

You looked at everyone looking at you then down at your body and saw yourself covered in mud. It was silent as you looked down at yourself covered in mud until various crew members began to laugh.

"Please tell me someone got that!" Jeff laughed. You looked up at the crew seeing them all laughing. Tears built up in your eyes as you tried looking away from the crew to focus on something else but what you happened to focus on was your camera that was sat almost too perfectly in a puddle of mud.

Your eyes widened as you reached over and snagged it off the ground, the mic at the top of your camera completely falling off when you did so.

As you held the now broken camera in your hands as you and the camera were covered in mud you couldn't help but finally burst into tears after holding them in all day.

The laughing of your crew members seemed to go silent as they all realized you were now sobbing. None of them moved, no one until Chris pushed through them and placed a hand out for you to grab as he gently placed a hand on your back. You took his hand, holding your broken camera in the other as you rose to your feet.

"Don't cry it's ok, lets go back to the van and clean you up ok?" Chris said gently. "Bu-but you have to sh-shoot." You said while crying. "It's fine Steve can do it on his own." Chris said as he wrapped an arm around you. Chris turned his head and looked at Jeff.

"I'm gonna take her back to the van, Steve-o can do this on his own right?" Chris spoke. "Yeah dude I can do this on my own it's fine." Steve-o said as he waved Chris and you off seeing how upset you were. Chris mouthed a thank you to his best friend and began walking you in the direction of the van, trying his best to avoid any possible tripping hazards.

"I'm sorry." You said while you still cried. "Hey don't apologize we all trip, you're ok no one's mad." "But I broke my camera." Your own sentence made you cry even harder as you said allowed what you did, it was like pouring salt in an open wound. "Like MTV can't buy a new one for you, don't stress about it." "But Rick-"

"Who gives a flying fuck what Rick has to say?" Chris spoke quickly. You looked up at Chris who was looking head on down the trail. You didn't reply to him instead just kept walking with his arm around your shoulders.

You two completed the walk back to the van in silence, nothing uncomfortable though. Once you two hit the van Chris unwrapped his arm from your shoulders and walked towards the back of the van where he opened the two back doors.

"Take a seat here yeah?" Chris said as he tapped the edge of the van. You nodded as you walked to the edge of the van and sat down, your legs dangling off the edge. Chris jumped into the van once you sat down and began digging through bags.

Chris found some water, a towel and one of his clean shirts so you didn't have to sit in a muddy shirt for the rest of the time you were here. Chris held everything in his arms as he took a seat next to you, setting everything in his lap.

"Here let me see that camera." You handed your now broken camera to him and watched as he turned and threw it in the van. "Chris!" You said as you turned your back to try and find your camera he just threw. "What? It's already broken." Chris said with a light laugh. You smiled and chuckled at his joke before turning forward again.

"Ok so I got you a towel, some water and one of my shirts so you don't have to be muddy anymore." Chris handed you the towel and shirt and set the water down next to you. You took the towel and the shirt with a soft smile. "Thanks Chris." All Chris did was nod at your words.

You set the shirt he gave you on your lap and used the towel and wiped your face off of any mud that might've been on your face still. Once you were done with the towel you threw it behind you in the van, you turned around and lift your shirt above half your stomach to only pause and turn your head towards Chris.

"Cover those eyes Pontius." You said with a small laughed. Chris's eyes widened as he placed his hands over his eyes, "Sorry." You only chuckled at his response and lifted your shirt fully over your head, dropping it to the side of you and picking up the new shirt Chris gave you and throwing it over your body.

"You can look now." Chris took his hands off his eyes and looked at you. "No more mud." He chuckled. "Oh shut up. I really hope no one got me falling." You nervously chuckled. "If they did I'll break their camera." Chris smiled, causing you to laugh.

As your laughter died down you and Chris sat next to one another in silence. Chris's head filled with possible things that could be effecting your mood, he wanted to help you but he just didn't know how to help you.

"You know you can talk to me, right?" You turned your head towards Chris bring your full attention to the boy. "Well of course I do." You responded. "Then talk to me, what's been bugging you?" You sighed as you rubbed your hand down your face. "Well today just isn't my day and it doesn't help that when I get back home I'm going to be evicted from my apartment." "Evicted? You out of everyone here is getting evicted?"

"Yep. My landlord said it's suspicious how I'm never home even though I told him I film for a TV show." "Isn't that a good thing? Like you won't be causing problems like Steve-o if you aren't there. See this is exactly why I just live in my car." You laughed at Chris's words. "Yeah maybe I should just live in my car." You chuckled.

"How about you just try and not think of that till you get home? I'll help you figure it out when we get back and even help you pack your stuff and whatever but for now just enjoy being on basically a vacation you didn't have to pay for."

"Thanks Chris." You smiled softly. Chris nodded at you with a smile, both of you gently looking at one another in silence until you quickly leaned forward and pecked his cheek. Chris's cheeks began to heat up with a shade of pink.

"Are you blushing Pontius?" You teased with a smile. "No I don't know what you're talking about." He laughed. You smiled and rested your head on his shoulder, Chris hesitantly wrapped a arm around your waist to pull you closer.

You two both looked at the sky that was changing color from the sun that was only just beginning to set, and for the first time today you felt calm and relaxed. Not worried about anything even getting evicted.

"Thanks again, Chris."

"It's what I'm here for."

#chris pontius #chris pontius x reader #chris pontius imagine #chris pontius fanfic #jackass #bam margera #johnny knoxville #ryan dunn #steve o #ehren mcghehey #dave england #preston lacy #wildboyz #danger ehren #wee man #jackass one shot #jackass x reader #jackass fanfic #jackass headcanons

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princessthatcantfuckingsleep · 4 months

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Being apart of the wildboyz☆

WILDGIRLZ<3333

#jackass moodboard #jackass aesthetic #jackass x reader #johnny knoxville x reader #jackass fanfic #jackass #wildboyz x reader #wildboyz #jackass hcs #chris pontius <3 #chris pontius x reader #chris pontius #steve o #johnny knoxville #viva la bam x reader #bam margera x reader #bam margera imagine #viva la bam

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welcometojackass2022 · 2 years

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My Official Masterlist:

I figured it was about time I compiled a list of all of my published fics! This covers all of the boys I write for from Jackass, the CKY videos, and Viva La Bam. The boys are listed in alphabetical order! This will be updated after each fic is published. Any fics I write using one of the boys characters (from Haggard, Minghags, etc) will go under their heading but will also go under a separate heading for whatever movie the character is from.

Currently Taking Commissions

Rules for Requesting

People I Write For

Important Note: ao3 account

Jackass/CKY/Viva La Bam Members:

Bam Margera

NSFW Alphabet: Bam Margera

Bam Being Forced to Fuck You As A Punishment [Smut]

Bam’s Kinks-Headcanons and Short Blurbs

He’s My Thing (Sub!Bam Margera x Reader) [Smut]

Perfect Shot (Sub!Bam Margera x GN! Reader) [Smut]

Sex Is Better When You Share (CKY Guys x Reader) [Smut]

Shut Up (Bam Margera x Reader) [Smut]

Sucking Bam Off From Behind—Short Imagine

Untitled Sub Bam Smut Drabble

Up Against The Shower Wall (Sub! Bam Margera x Reader) [Smut]

What’s My Line Again? (Bam Margera x Reader x Brandon Novak) [Smut]

Brandon DiCamillo

NSFW Alphabet: Brandon DiCamillo

Jealous Dico x Reader Smut Drabble (Untitled)

Laughter (Dico x Reader Drabble) [Light Smut]

Sex Is Better When You Share (CKY Guys x Reader) [Smut]

Short Dico x Reader Smut Drabble (Untitled)

Sometimes (Dico x Reader Smut Drabble)

Dating Brandon DiCamillo (Dico) Would Include

The CKY/Viva La Bam Boys Switching Roles During Sex [Short Smut Drabble]

The CKY/Viva La Bam Boys Try Out New Kinks For You [Short Smut Drabble]

You’re Fucking Disgusting (Brandon DiCamillo x GN! Reader) [Smut]

Brandon Novak

NSFW Alphabet: Brandon Novak

Drool (Sub! Brandon Novak x Reader Smut Drabble) [Dumbification]

How The CKY Boys Would React to Being Called Pet Named in Bed (Smut Drabble)

The CKY/Viva La Bam Boys Switching Roles During Sex [Short Smut Drabble]

The CKY/Viva La Bam Boys Try Out New Kinks For You [Short Smut Drabble]

What’s My Line Again? (Bam Margera x Reader x Brandon Novak) [Smut]

Chris Pontius

NSFW Alphabet: Chris Pontius

Dave England

NSFW Alphabet: Dave England

Ehren McGhehey (Danger Ehren)

NSFW Alphabet: Ehren McGhehey/Danger Ehren (Jackass)

Short Sundresses and Melted Ice Cream (Danger Ehren x Reader) [Fluff]

Jess Margera

The CKY/Viva La Bam Boys Try Out New Kinks For You [Short Smut Drabble]

Being Bam’s Best Friend Who Has A Crush on Jess Would Include:

Joe Frantz

NSFW Alphabet: Joe Frantz

Fairy Wings (Joe Frantz x Reader Smut Drabble)

How the CKY Boys Would React to Being Called Pet Names (Smut Drabble)

Joe Frantz Smut Drabble-Body Worship

Put Me In A Movie (Joe Frantz x Reader) [Smut]

The CKY/Viva La Bam Boys Switching Roles During Sex [Short Smut Drabble]

The CKY/Viva La Bam Boys Try Out New Kinks For You [Short Smut Drabble]

The Viagra Story (Joe Frantz x Reader) [Smut]

Johnny Knoxville

NSFW Alphabet: Johnny Knoxville

Be My Baby (Johnny Knoxville x Plus Sized! Reader) [Fluff]

Don’t Be A Tease (Johnny Knoxville x Reader) [Smut]

Get A Life! (Johnny Knoxville x Bam Margera’s Sister! Reader) [Smut]

Hello, Nurse (Johnny Knoxville x Reader) [Smut]

This Has Got To Stop (Married!Cheater!Johnny Knoxville x Reader) [Smut]

Underwater Exploration (Dom! Johnny Knoxville x Reader) [Smut]

Lord Bottaro

NSFW Alphabet: Lord Bottaro

The CKY/Viva La Bam Boys Try Out New Kinks For You [Short Smut Drabble]

Raab Himself

NSFW Alphabet: Chris Raab/Raab Himself

Hot And Ready, Just Like Our Pizza (Chris Raab/Raab Himself x Reader) [Smut]

How The CKY Boys Would React to Being Called Pet Names in Bed (Smut Drabble)

Sex Is Better When You Share (CKY Guys x Reader) [Smut]

Suck It And See (Sub!Chris Raab/Raab Himself x Reader) [Smut]

The Anniversary Surprise (Sub! Raab x Reader) [Smut]

The CKY/Viva La Bam Boys Switching Roles During Sex [Short Smut Drabble]

The CKY/Viva La Bam Boys Try Out New Kinks For You [Short Smut Drabble]

Rake Yohn

NSFW Alphabet: Rake Yohn

He Blinded Me With Science (Mad Scientist!Rake Yohn x Reader) [Smut Drabble]

How the CKY Boys Would React to Being Called Pet Names in Bed (Smut Drabble)

Old Man (Rake Yohn x Reader Smut Drabble)

Quiet Time (Dom!Rake Yohn x Reader) [Smut]

Sex Is Better When You Share (CKY Guys x Reader) [Smut]

The CKY/Viva La Bam Boys Switching Roles During Sex [Short Smut Drabble]

The CKY/Viva La Bam Boys Try Out New Kinks For You [Short Smut Drabble]

Ryan Dunn

NSFW Alphabet: Ryan Dunn

Sex Is Better When You Share (CKY Guys x Reader) [Smut]

Shove It (Ryan Dunn x Sub!Reader) [Smut]

Stay On Task (Dom!Ryan Dunn x Reader) [Smut]

Steve-O

Coming soon!

Minghags Characters:

Non-Pairing Fics/Female Jackass Member Fics:

Being A Female Jackass Member Who’s Childhood Best Friends With Bam and Ryan Would Include:

My Jackass Girl Idea

What A Female Jackass Member Would Be Like (Except She’s As Mean and Gross As the Rest of the Guys)

Related to But Not From Jackass and Viva La Bam:

Jimmy Pop

NSFW Alphabet: Jimmy Pop

When I Go Down On You (Jimmy Pop x Reader) [Smut Drabble]

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johnnyknoxvilleswife · 6 months

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Jackass's own it girl (she is a teensy bit of an alcoholic)

totally about to write a City Girl x Knoxville Fic

#jackass #johnny knoxville #bam margera #chris pontius #jackass 4ever #jackass number two #jackass outfits #jackass headcanons #jackass fanfic #ryan dunn #gwendolyn'smoodboards #jackassgirl

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b4mpyre-k1zz3s · 2 months

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Seven Minutes

Y/N’s crush on her boss is obvious to everyone, including his co-stars, leading the two into some sticky situations.

Johnny Knoxville X Fem!Reader

(Fluff)

2.4k Words

Warnings: Highly suggestive content, nudity, flirting, praise

An: Thank you so much for the requests!! I really love the Assistant!Au and would love to continue it, specifically with Bam! I would love to see how he would mess with and push around our lovely assistant Y/N XD Anyways, keep sending those requests and let me know what you think!

Clutching your little brown clipboard, you were nearly shaking as you gazed up at the piece of paper sloppily scotch taped to the white trailer door. One would’ve thought that the first name on the billing would be treated with a little more prestige. You had no idea how you got the job, really. Horribly under qualified, virtually zero experience- a real combination for success. I mean, before today, you’d never stepped foot on a movie set, and here you were, Y/N: assistant to the stars. More than that, according to what Paramount told you, you would be an assistant to America’s favorite hot lunatic: Johnny Knoxville. You hadn’t seen a thing he was in, but from what you gathered, teenagers thought of him as the modern PT Barnum, while the churchgoing growd called him the devil incarnate, and you were going to be working under him. Timidly reaching out, you knocked a few times on the trailer to no answer. “Hey, uh- Johnny! Jeff needs you on set soon!” After maybe thirty seconds of waiting and no answer, you decided to try the handle, assuming he was too busy doing whatever movie stars do and just couldn’t hear you.

Boy, did you get an eyeful. There, standing in that silent trailer with his clothes draped over a chair, was the man himself, naked as a jaybird and without a care in the world that you saw him. He was all tanned muscle, Hollywood man meat. You, on the other hand, felt heat rush to your cheeks as your eyes swelled to the size of dinner plates. Stuttering out an apology, you turned away, “Oh! Oh my god, I am-“ Completely unphased, Johnny continued getting dressed, talking to you like he was talking about something as simple as taking out the trash. “Hold on a sec. Just gotta get some clothes on…” Does this happen often with movie stars, or only to him? It had to, you thought, based on how relaxed he was to be naked in front of a total stranger. Is he naked in front of strangers often? All you could do was face the wall of the trailer as your mind went wild, the heat flooding in from outside through the still open door doing nothing to aid the sweat you were already breaking. Your train of thought was brought to a screeching halt when you heard the metallic jingling of Johnny doing up his belt behind you, bringing to mind a flood of thoughts that you weren't exactly proud of. Still, you couldn’t help the urge to sneak another look at his half clothed body but you quickly turned back.

As sneaky as you thought you were being, Johnny noticed your little glance and, more than that, he didn’t seem to mind. Cracking a smirk at the events that were unfolding in front of him, he couldn’t help but want to tease this sweet little assistant of his a bit more. You didn’t even know he was dressed until you felt a tap on your shoulder and you turned around, nearly nose to nose with him while Johnny was still buttoning up his shirt with one hand, sporting that knowing, crooked smile. God, you practically fainted when he spoke, his voice barely above a murmur, “You needed somethin’?” Well yes, there was something you needed, but you weren't going to say that sort of thing out loud, much less to your boss on your first day. Too flustered to articulate yourself, you gestured for him to take a couple steps back, which he complied with, before you attempted to compose yourself, “U- uh…Jeff, he- uh, he asked me to get you for that- that Toro Totter stunt today…”

Johnny loved that you remembered his coffee order, even though that was a part of your job. Not that it was hard to remember- black coffee with two sugars. Every morning when you met up with him on set, you’d tell him good morning when you handed him the steaming hot styrofoam cup, and Johnny would take it from you with a smile that was still tired from partying the night before. He’d take a long sip and get this charmed look on his face and make some joke about how he couldn't believe that you remembered his order. As you worked with him longer and you started growing closer, he would tack on an appreciative, “Atta’ girl!” and reach out to rub your back or ruffle your hair. All the guys on set would whisper and joke about the two of you, especially Bam, who no matter how many times it was explained to him, still couldn’t get why Knoxville hadn’t ‘tapped that’. You didn’t care to admit how much you liked when Johnny treated you like that- all affectionately. Maybe you were nervous about working with a big movie star and really needed some approval to keep you going. On the other hand, you had been busting your ass for the past month making sure everything on set went as smoothly as possible, so it could also be that you felt like you needed the recognition. But most likely, you just liked hearing those words come from Johnny’s mouth.

So that’s why you went up to see him in his motel room. Well, that and he was half an hour late and Jeff wanted you to find out why the hell he hadn’t shown up on set. Carrying the well creased list of stunts for the day in your pocket, you walked through the dingy hallways of the cheap place the cast was set up at, carefully stepping over where Steve-O was passed out, drooling face down on the carpet. After finding Johnny’s door, you knocked on the cheap plywood and it swung open without resistance. Wondering what was with this guy and leaving doors open, you timidly called out into the room, “Uh, is everything alright, Joh-?“ Well, that explains why he hadn’t shown up- he wasn’t even out of bed. Shifting slightly at your noise, Johnny sat up with a groan, rubbing the back of his head as the sheets that covered his torso slid down to pool at his hips. “M’fine…god, just- just c'mere.” As he waved you over, patting the side of the bed for you to sit down, you couldn’t help but stare at him now that you were close enough to feel the heat radiating off of his body, and especially since you had more time to look him over. The cheap, frameless bed creaked under you as you sat down next to him on top of the sheets, fiddling with your hands. Johnny, who saw the paper sticking out from the front pocket of your jeans, snaked an arm past your hips nonchalantly to grab it, unfolding it with his muscular arm still around you.

He looked over the list, blinking groggily and quietly commenting about some stunts they should shuffle around to make the day run smoother or how he would change some setups. There was no way in hell you would be able to pay attention to anything that was coming out of his mouth. God, you were awful. It was like the second you got within five feet of him, your brain started slipping out of your ears. Still dazed, you were shaken out of your trance when Johnny wordlessly grabbed the coffee from your hands, bringing it to his lips and taking a drink. The corners of his eyes crinkled up when he swallowed deeply, his voice rough as he slid his arm up to squeeze your shoulder affectionately with a warm smile, “That’s my girl.”

He played you like a fiddle, goddamn it, and you were helpless to do anything about it. He just really got a kick out of messing with you, batting you around like the way a cat plays with its food before it eats it. Of course, this didn’t go unnoticed by the rest of the cast who, although you had mostly ignored their comments and jeering, found your nervous reactions even more entertaining than Johnny did. They’d go out of their way to get you and him into situations where you would be forced to be in close proximity, but because of how often they pulled these pranks and your inexperience working on set, you couldn’t always tell the difference between when you were really needed for something or when they were trying to mess with you, so you naively complied with their requests every time. That’s how you got into situations like this.

“Hey, Y/N!” Steve called to you in passing on set one day, “Can’y grab a couple’a those cowboy hats from wardrobe?” Usually you only tended to what Johnny asked you to do, but since it was a pretty innocuous request, and you had nothing to do, you didn’t give it a second thought as you made your way to the costume department. It wasn't so much of a department as it was a small closet. In the past, the guys made jokes about getting you all dressed up in some skimpy outfit to sit in the background of a stunt on the basis that they really needed some sex appeal in the new movie, so you took a few peeks in there out of curiosity. This is all to say that you knew about it. What you didn’t know, however, was that at the same time Steve was sending you off, Chris was asking the same question to Johnny. See, this was a well coordinated attack, and if there was only one thing these bumbling idiots could coordinate together to do, it was fucking with people.

As soon as you hurriedly stumbled into the dark closet, you bumped face first into something warm which you quickly realized was a person, leaving you a little dazed before the door loudly slammed shut behind you, making you jump a little. The only noise you heard was snickering, courtesy of Bam, who had hidden barely out of sight when you walked in and jammed a chair under the handle of the door. There was only one person you would end up in there with, “Oh, come on, guys!” The familiar southern drawl in his voice made your stomach jump as you recognized Johnny who, while he was trying not to make his annoyance apparent, leaned around you to knock on the door as he yelled to the guys on the other side, “I gotta be on set in five- Jeff’s gonna kill me!” Still, nothing but snickers. You began to realize exactly how close your body was to his- Johnny didn’t even seem to notice nor care that your face was nearly buried in his chest, but you were so freaked out that you could bring your mouth to move or make any noise. It wasn’t until he groaned, leaning back to sit on a costume trunk in front of you that you took a breath.

“Well, we might be here a while…” Johnny mused, and while you couldn’t see it, you definitely heard the smile in his voice as he continued, “Y’know this kinda reminds me a lot of that game- seven minutes in heaven?” Of course you knew what he was talking about, and you would be an idiot to pass this kind of thing up. Unfortunately, under these conditions, you kind of became one. “I, uh- I’ve never played that- that game before…” Well, it wasn't a lie- you really hadn’t, but you knew what he meant. Your response was a half hearted stammer, your heart pounding so hard that you half expected it to thrum out of your chest, cartoon style, and you were sure he could feel it. You were aware he was getting a kick out of your nervousness, but you weren't exactly sure how to feel about that. Johnny’s voice slipped into that low, teasing register as he met your eyes, leaning towards you. “I could always teach you.” You practically let out a squeak at his suggestion. Oh god, it’s happening. He wanted to kiss you, didn’t he? Your brain struggled to form words, but luckily Johnny broke the tension before you dropped dead from the little game he was playing with you. Flashing a playful smile, he chuckled reassuringly, “Ah, I’m just messin’ with ya.”

There was something warm, something comforting and infectious that followed Johnny around wherever he went- a product of his charisma, surely, that just put everyone at ease. Well, everyone except you, but even now that was starting to change. “You know, if I didn’t know any better, I’d think you’ve gotta little crush on me, Y/N.” You thanked the darkness for giving you an excuse not to look him in the eyes, because otherwise he’d find it cute and probably do that thing they do in romance movies- where the guy tilts the girl’s chin up a little, and if he did that then you would be as good as a puddle on the ground. “O-oh, really?” Part of you was tempted to ask if it was that obvious, but you were unfortunately not that bold. “Mmhm. And lucky for me too, cause I was itchin’ to get an opportunity to ask you about gettin’ drinks sometime! Guess that makes my job a little easier, right?” Trying to be slick, Johnny put his arm on the door behind you and leaned, assuming it was still locked. However, against all assumptions, the door of the closet flew open, and as you were still startled from how he just so nonchalantly asked you out, your stiff body tumbled backward, landing flat on your behind. While you were talking, Bam apparently got bored when the ‘action’ hadn’t started, so he got up and left, taking the chair with him. Panicking and confused, the first thing Johnny did was lean down, giving you his hand, “Oh shit, Y/N! You alright?” In any other situation, the genuine concern in his voice and the feeling of his large, warm hand wrapping around yours protectively would be enough to get you weak at the knees, but your mind was elsewhere. Hell, you didn’t even care about how sore you felt as you stumbled to stand, tripping over your own words, “I’m fine, yeah! A, uh- a date! Drinks- that would be great!”

#jackass #johnny knoxville #bam margera #steve o #chris pontius #jackass fanfiction #jackass fanfic #fluff #jackass x reader #johnny knoxville x reader #this is so self indulgent but idc

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