#character: kotya | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

heraldofcrow · 8 months

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Okay, now it is YOUR turn to talk about what your Laurence's (eventual?) vices/flaws are! There is a general theme of Laurence having good intentions but growing corrupt, but at the same time something's always unique and all. I reckon yours is an impulsive and arrogant asshole of sorts, but what else / how can it be elaborated?

OH INDEED.

Fucking Kotya lmao

Ok, so…I drew this pic literally to answer these asks, because I figured a portrait of young Laurence looking all ✨ambitious✨ would suit the whole thing, so here.

Free art for u

I am now recieving reports that he looks like Light Yagami from Deathnote even though I have only seen a few pictures of Light in my life and I also totally drew inspiration for this design from a totally different character but ANYWAY

Lol. Ok, now for the headcanons!

My Laurence is pretty straightforward. He has rich kid with a chronic illness syndrome. That’s it. Bam. (I’m kdding. Kind of).

In all seriousness, from day one I saw Laurence as someone that was born into wealth and into a different lifestyle from most people. That’s why the “he’s from Cainhurst” thing was perfect for me, because yeah, of course he is. He comes off like that. (I’ll get to the chronic illness thing).

I’m not just going on some “billionaires can be careless individuals that wreck people’s lives because they can’t fathom being poor or desperate or barred from certain privileges” rant…but I am acknowledging what I see as one of Laurence’s biggest issues, and that’s…well…he’s too reckless with human life. I don’t even think it’s entirely sinister or intentional, but he simply doesn’t get it. He thinks he can treat the world like a lab experiment and everything will be just fine.

(This is also why I think Micolash was more deprived as a child, because he’s sacrificial with human life in a more deliberate way. He’s desperate as hell and is willing to brutalize countless people to reach the top. That urge and drive to even reach a higher plane just screams “lack” to me. Micolash wanted to claw his way out of the slums, but I won’t go into that now and if anyone dares suggest I am saying that less privileged people are more cutthroat, I am NOT. This applies to a very specific type of bastard ffs 💀).

Oh and, since we are not just going over flaws in light of me answering both your asks, I will give more detail on my headcanons for Laurie’s background. After all, it also ties into the flaws discussion.

—

Bakckground 🔱

So. For some background context, I headcanon that Laurence’s father was, in fact, That Guy we always point out (Beltran) on the portraits and for the same reasons you do.

Credit to you for the reference obviously, but that pendant…the Cainhurst/Yharnam/Healing Church links…well, yeah. We know.

Anyway, so Beltran was a pretty famous Cainhurst academic professor and research expert on the Pthumerian genetics of the Cains in particular. (When I say I think Cainhurst was full of experimental scholars around the time Byrgenwerth was founded, I am dead serious. I SWEAR IT MAKES SENSE. Byrgenwerth and Cainhurst. Two sides of the same coin, my friend.)

Anyway, Beltran was married to a non-royal but wealthy lady from Hemwick that descended from a Loranite family that happened to be full of priests and seers. Yippeee!

This couple’s only child was Laurence, and he was raised in their oh-so-fancy rich lifestyle where the father was constantly being invited to snobby scholarly events and the mother was holding tea-centered socials in their lavish mansion parlors. Like ya do.

I picture Laurence growing up trying to fit in with his parents’ lifestyle like this:

Lmao, so long story short…it wasn’t his thing. He didn’t quite vibe with the snobby richies he grew up with.

In fact, I like the idea that he absolutely hated his parents’ high class world and felt that they expected too much from him. He was too restricted and stifled. They expected him to be them. His mother was strict, disapproving and nagging; his father was absent-minded and a bit too focused on his life’s work, which, when he wasn’t lost in, was the only thing he tried to connect with Laurence on.

“You should be a great scholar too, Laurence!! Uh hur hur.”

This is where Laurence started to rebel and go his own route, while also developing plenty of complexes along the way (of course). He would be a better academic, better influential figure, better leader, better plutocratic socialite, etc., oh yes. His parents would see.

He had all the makings of these things too, because despite bucking against his childhood influences, he was ,quite frankly, obsessed with enriching study, scientific pursuit, old mythologies and religions, etc.. He loved the world of academia. He was fond of the ancient tales of glorious heroes and scholars that changed the world for the better, and he often fancied himself one of those “types.”

I even like the idea that he discovered the (Bloodborne equivalent) tale of of Saint Laurence the Martyr and saw it as a sign that he was destined for greatness. He tended to reference lofty epics and historical novels in everyday discussion to add a sense of meaning and grandeur to everything. He didn’t want to live a common, mundane life. He wanted to live a glorious one.

And one of the key contributing factors to this mindset Laurence had was his own chronic illness.

Now, this is my favorite thing to headcanon actually because it fits so well??

As a child, Laurence developed early on what I consider to be Cystic Fibrosis, and had horrible lung issues for most of his life. When he was young, the doctors told him and his parents that his life expectancy was likely to be about 30 years. (In the real world, this was actually the life expectancy not too long ago).

Knowing this, and being disappointed in his doctors for not providing any sort of cure, was the catalyst for half of Laurence’s ambitions. He only had so much time to live life, and he was determined to leave his mark on the world…and maybe also find a cure. Yasss bestie!!

—

Byrgenwerth 🍎

Laurence’s parents sent him off to Byrgenwerth at 16 to gain an intense and long-term education from Yharnam’s leading scholars. He went with Ludwig, a childhood friend.

A bit on my Laurence/Ludwig headcanon to add context:

The two had both grown up somewhere near Hemwick, and while Laurence lived in a more isolated, wealthy world, Ludwig was a sturdy farm boy that had helped to keep his family’s ranch afloat after losing their larger fortune. While they had come from Cainhurst in previous generations, family chains of bad habits and broken ties led to a lower class lifestyle for Ludwig’s parents.

Laurence personally knew that Ludwig was a primary caretaker for his parents and many siblings. He was a good, loyal kid, and it was through him that Laurence learned empathy for people with less fortune than himself. I mean, Ludwig would drag Laurence around to visit neighbors and even donate to those that were struggling with money like it was nothing, and I think this is where Laurence started to “feel” for the rest of the world.

Unfortunately, his arrogant streak also tainted it with a sense of, “See! Look how good of a person I am!”

(I think Ludwig did have an impact on him though, so it was always a mix of self-righteousness and a genuine desire to help others. He would have also admired Ludwig and secretly envied his…dead-honest heart for those in need).

Ok. Going back to the storyline, and considering this bond that Laurence and Ludwig shared, here we have them at Byrgenwerth. Laurence was already planning his great ascension into glory and sleepy Ludwig is just happy to be there with his friend and to have been lucky enough to even attend by the graces of a family friend. Yipeee!

My Laurence was at his most fiery and impetuous at Byrgenwerth as a young teen/young adult. He was passionate, talkative, charismatic, fierce, etc., and he made quick work of getting to know everyone in the school right away. They couldn’t escape him. To Laurence, every other student was a potential ally and “part” in the epic tale of his life.

(This was also when Laurence and Ludwig met Gehrman, who was basically Byrgenwerth’s most well-known “security guard” when it came to warding off beasts or general supernatural weirdness. Gehrman was this odd, older kid in his 20s with an insane skillset. He was already an infamous hunter and Laurence greatly admired his bravery. He and Ludwig sought out the antisocial weirdo that was always hiding in the woods and adopted him into their friend group. Aaaand that’s where all the trouble began lol).

Soon, everyone in Byrgenwerth held some kind of connection to Laurence. Rom, Micolash, Maria, Caryll, Damian, Yurie, etc., and they all had their own thoughts and feelings on the brash auburn scholar. He was a handful to be sure. In a way, Ludwig was the only one that could ever “hold Laurence back” a bit, but only in a very brotherly, good-natured manner.

That’s the thing too; people liked Laurence a lot. He was popular, but they could also hate him or grow tired of him. He knew how to be charming and how to talk others up by pointing out their strengths, but then he could turn around and be so arrogant, self-centered, and envious that it would irk his audience.

They wanted to be apart of the grand tale he was telling them that he planned to weave, but they also wanted him to just shut up sometimes; if that makes sense. He was a bit of an endearing, irritating, egoist with a lot of outward appeal and an inward intrigue.

His true friends also knew that he was secretly very insecure around people he didn’t trust or know, and would be vulnerable on occasion with those he did trust. That bit of heart he could show is what proved to his friends that he wasn’t actually a total impulsive snob. He cared. He just also wanted to prove himself to the world and literally everyone in it.

“I swear, you guys don’t realize how important I am to the modern age yet!!”

After years of studying and researching his beloved histories and mythologies, he began to take an interest in medical science, archeology, and the mysterious history Yharnam had with Pthumerians.

His illness also grew worse as his thirties approached. He began to study directly under Provost Willem, and that’s when the board was set with all the right pieces.

—

The Church and Research Hall 💉

Ah, here we go.

I think, for obvious reasons at this point, Laurence’s interest in the ancient records of the Pthumerians and their superhuman traits was to be expected. It was exactly what he was looking for.

Divine blood? A link between gods and men? Ascension? It all seemed like the earth-shattering discoveries he had dreamt of all his life; it seemed like the dream of changing the world for the better, making an impact, and even the subtle hope of finding a cure for chronic illness. Needless to say, Laurence was fixated. Willem was right there with him.

Laurence was an assistant professor to Willem by that point and they began to experiment with all of our lovely blood and eyes in the Research Hall. I love the thought you have expressed before about testing antidotes during that stage as well; something Laurence would have been interested in.

Laurence, with all his bright ideas, was the one to suggest a Church as a way to distribute and test their research. Willem agreed, and that’s where our beta Healing Church began. Laurence wasn’t really a religious person himself, but Yharnam thrived on it and he was smart enough to know that religious authority was absolutely an asset, one that he could peacefully utilize to spread his influence and agendas.

He knew Yharnam had always believed in the Great Ones, and discovering a holy medium to use as proof of their interference was everything they needed.

Now, moving on with the lore implications that we have discovered about Byrgenwerth and the Church having been united at one point, AND the subsequent schism having been more of an internal divergence within that union rather than the precedent to a direct, dramatic academic/religious split…let’s jump ahead a bit…

Post-Fishing Hamlet and Byrgenwerth schism Laurence was someone a little more cold and cutthroat. He was still impulsive, but his spitfire characteristics were tamer, more subdued…he had taken up the authority of the Healing Church, reluctantly separated from Willem, and dealt with the aftermath of the Fishing Hamlet—something he absolutely felt guilt over, but was too afraid to acknowledge. He hid everything. All that mattered was what the blood could give him.

There was also a new burning drive in his heart upon reaching his thirties, which he had never expected to see. The blood had seemingly lessened the effects of his Fibrosis and acted as a temporary cure. It was his salvation and the salvation of Yharnam. Totally. 100%

Nothing will go wrong.

—

Yharnam’s Downfall 🩸

We know how things went down from here, but Laurence by this point was, I guess you could say, at his lowest and worst. The mistakes he had made in his earlier years with the Hamlet, the Schism, and the Research Hall were catching up to him, and as Yharnam began to gradually grow worse under the blood ministration, Laurence grew worse with it.

In the public eye, he was a gracious and holy figure that distributed alms and medicines to those in need, who endlessly made promises he probably wouldn’t keep, but everyone that believed him would be dead before they even understood that. Behind closed doors, things were different.

He was harsher with his colleagues, heavily depressed, and more desperate than ever. His illness was like a reoccurring nightmare; something that reared its ugly head in the worst moments and sent him into darker, more hellish states of mind. He suppressed it every time, taking more and more blood to heal himself, but he wasn’t stupid. (I think?)

He knew that the blood wasn’t working the way he thought it was supposed to. It was temporary, brief, fleeting…and if anything, it affected his pscyhe for the worse. He was becoming more paranoid, more withdrawn and bitter. Like a solitary beast. (Omg foreshadowing!)

Most of his old friends either left him, betrayed him directly, or simply tolerated him from that point on. Gehrman was too miserable in those days to draw close to anyone, and Ludwig himself was sinking deeper into self-loathing and disillusionment. Willem was gone, Rom was doing Rom things, Yurie and Caryll were gone…Micolash had become somewhat of a monster, and Maria was strongly opposed to most of what Laurence stood for.

He had lost most of the old ties that had saturated his Byrgenwerth days, and needless to say, it took its toll. This is when Brador came into the picture, but you remember that whole headcanon I’m sure ;)

This is when all bets were off. Laurence was angry, grieved, condemned, and vengeful. Bro went ballistic.

He ordered the Cainhurst massacre, he allowed more unethical experiments in the Church walls, he tolerated the mistreatment of certain people groups in Yharnam, and eventually he oversaw the burning of Old Yharnam. He hid most of his sins too, hiring assassins and spies to take care of any prying eyes.

This was the ruthless, cruel Laurence that the fandom loves, but I don’t personally see him as having been gloating or laughing through it. I think he was giving himself to hatred and self-hatred, abusing his public image to allow a certain amount of “justified” mercilessness. I also can absolutely see him being paranoid out of his mind.

His former desires to appear as a heroic figure were twisted into these evil decisions as Vicar, but there was also a side to his determination that was fueled by the notion of “If this world is going to be so unfair and unkind, I’ll wrest order from it, I’ll bring us to glory if it kills us.”

This was his true downfall. BAD LAURENCE. BAD.

The End 🔥

Yharnam was ruined.

Broken down, defeated, and heartsick…Laurence had lost everything. Cainhurst was gone, Hemwick lay in ruins, Old Yharnam’s people were given to the plague, and every old friend Laurence had known had fallen into darkness. Ludwig was dead, Maria was dead, Willem was in a vegetative state, Rom had ascended, Caryll was dead, and Micolash had lost his mind in Yahar’gul.

I also have this theory that not long before the time of his transformation, Laurence discovered that his mother had been living in Cainhurst when the massacre had taken place. His father had died years earlier, and he had not exactly been devastated considering he barely knew the man, but Laurence’s mother, for all of her cold-heartedness, had been a relevant presence in his life. Knowing that he had been the cause of her death threw him into despair and even further regret.

His sickness also finally came through despite all the blood consumption. Blood itself was something Laurence began to regularly cough up as his lungs ruptured. He was going to die soon and he knew it. He was also possibly on the verge of something worse. The bestial taints of his flesh were omens he could not ignore.

That’s when Laurence finally shattered and accepted his fate. He had achieved…a lot. None of it good. Brador pitilessly remarked that nobody would consider him a good man even after his death, and Laurence lamented the dream he once had of dying in a sacrificial, heroic death in flames like the ancient Saint Laurence had done.

The greatest sacrifice he could make was to die, and spare the world from any further ruin, Brador said. He would never be a saint, but he could still die a martyr’s death. An ironic, perverse variation of one.

Laurence’s final action was to summon the Moon in a last-ditch effort to gain Flora’s help, to help the heart-broken Gehrman bring Maria back, to plead for mercy and freedom from the curse of beasts. Laurence promised Gehrman that they would fix everything, that it would all be made well if the Hunt continued. Gehrman believed in Laurence and the promise, but the latter did not. He knew it was over.

The Moon descended, Gehrman vanished into the Dream, Old Yharnam burned, and Laurence turned at last, accepting his demise. Brador finished him off with fire and blood, beheading him afterwards and wearing his scalp as a twisted symbol forever after. Laurence was in his fifties and had truly died a grand martyr’s death. He got everything he wanted. Yipeee!

—

THERE I DID IT! Damn, I am glad you made me do this, because even though I always really liked Laurence, I never quite loved him. I hadn’t done the character deep-dive yet, but this?? This did it.

I love the reckless, spitfire teen/young adult Laurence of Byrgenwerth, the kid that wanted so badly to prove himself to the world and change things for the better, who wanted to trump his own lifelong illness, and who wanted to be better than the people that raised him. He was arrogant yes, but he was admirable to others in his sheer force of will to succeed and conquer life. I love the idea that he wanted his life to be like an epic, full of heroism and sacrifice.

I don’t think he ever initially used people, and I don’t think he lacked empathy. He had learned it from his friends and from simply observing the world. Yes, he was insecure and envious of others that seemed better than him, but he also vocally expressed genuine support and encouragement on their behalf. They were characters in the story too! They had valuable parts to play! (Oh the irony).

Yes, he was careless with human life. He was simply ignorant as a youth because of his upbringing wherein the “elite” were the ones that decided the fate of others. That carelessness turned sinister only in his later years when he began to lose sympathy for the world. Yes, he made a grave mistake in that.

But there was always remorse. Laurence’s heart was not buried. He regretted every needless death, every failed experiment. He may not have admitted it until just before his death, but he was never entirely without shame. Guilt wasn’t something the heroes in his favorite tales were supposed to feel.

I love all of the symbolism that can permeate his character as well. Blood in health and illness, the forbidden fruit that is dangled to lure men into beasthood, the antlers he carries as a beast, which are symbolic of a glorious crown in most interpretations, etc..

Just how he burns with hellfire, wearing this ironic crown, a sign of his perfectly orchestrated downfall. It’s beautiful.

I love him. You made me love him by writing about him. Congrats lol. Hope this answered all your questions about his flaws and the headcanons!!

Au revoir!