#certified insane freak
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ghost x reader; woman with higher rank than him. she's someone new, someone that price brought to help them.
she's frustrating for him bc she talks and giggles w EVERYONE but him. she's so smart, she always talks respectfully and professionally with him. asks him if he needs something and he wants to yell that he wants to make her giggle as well. to know her more.
ghost does things methodically, though. so, instead of that, he just happens to accidentally meet her.
to accidentally have morning runs around the hour she runs.
he asks about things that he knows very well.
he stands straight when he knows you're watching, he flexes his muscles in a subtle manner. boy is obsessed and has a plan to charm you in his own way.
he wants to know more about you.
part 2 or some sort
and part 3 lmao
and 4??? wtf
even better, part 5
#certified insane freak#not gonna shut up about it#call of duty#cod x reader#simon riley#simon riley x you#simon riley x reader#cod mw2#ghost cod#simon ghost riley#simon ghost x reader#simon ghost x you#ghost call of duty#call of duty x you#call of duty x y/n#exiles.simon
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blake and bestie
#redacted audio#redactedverse#redacted blake#redacted bestie#argent rambles#bringing back the blake is a time traveller content because LOOK AT THIS AND TELL ME IT'S NOT HIM#shaking the bars of my enclosure ERIK HE SHOULD'VE BEEN A TIME TRAVELLER#also yeah i did the shitty thing of screenshot a tumblr post instead of reblog#but i wanted the rest of you certified redacted freaks to see this one#join me in my time traveller blake insanity
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just revealed my position as Cryptidfag Celebrity to my sibling (who knows what twomp is) and they just stuck a sheet of paper on me that just said “GOOD BOY !!!!!” in bright pink
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im so so obsessed w the ibuki/tetora toxic yaoi art ive been seeing on twt. There was a loveit redraw one and i think its gonna live in my brain rentfree forever
#melty rambles#enstarsposting#acn you believe we have people out there sayign yumes a freak or arguign that fuyuesu is toxic#HEY GUYS . I THINK YOURE LOOKING AT THE WRONG 4PIECE MEMBER#IBUKI IS LIKE CERTIFIABLY INSANE
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#umineko#umineko no naku koro ni#turn of the golden witch#kanon umineko#ushiromiya shannon#as a certified enthusiast of overly long stupid drawn out narratives. mangas pretty good too#insane spending so many hours just on the first ep first time aroound and then just reading it all again in a night#i wouldve had SUCH a different opinion if i read the manga first though bc it hasnt been as upfront w shannon being 16#and george being TWENTY THREE YEARS OLD. i will never shut up. george hate club kill that freak
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sometimes i hate being crazy bc i am crazy.
#myevilposts#/vent#been feeling this horrible alienation lately. g-d bless my dear friends i have been in terrible pain and have been being#certifiably insane lately 😵💫#there is so much wrong with me vs i do not want to fix it. fight.#bc there is so much wrong with me i do not want to fix what is wrong with me.#i wish i got hate anons telling me how insane i am and calling me a freak. it'd be funny. validating in a way.
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something I do love about Gale is that he's got such a sweet, affable exterior that it can totally make you miss the fact that this man is a 100% certified grade A freak. He stole an insanely powerful magical artifact from an insanely powerful archwizard as a kid and used it and lived to tell the tale. He tells it as a funny story! He wants to be a god! He loves magical knowledge and doesn't really care too much if people get trampled in the process of finding it! We love a wizard with slightly questionable morals 🖤
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Series Masterlist
Previous Chapter
YOURINSTA
liked by latto777, summerwalker, SZA, selenagomez, druski, urbanwyatt, and 678,567 others
yourinsta: daddy, am I your baby? @champagnepapi
view all 8965 comments
user: waited about 3 hours to like this so I didn’t look desperate
user: I’m bigger than drake btw
user: all I need is 3 seconds frfrfr
user: the slayage is insane. face card never declines. category was body and you bodied
user: will never get over Jack fumbling a bad bitch
mariahthescientist: 😍😍😍
user: Jack somewhere crying
flomillishit: I’m in looooove
CHAMPAGNEPAPI
liked by urbanwyatt, saweetie, sexyyredd, icespice, SZA, druski, yourinsta and 1,990,708 others
champagnepapi: I miss you when I wake up before you.
Happy Valentine’s Day ya freaks!
view all 6,789 comments
celeb: 🥹🥹
SZA: I love you guys
celeb: goals fr my guy !
celeb: thank god you married her
celeb: certified lover boyyyy
yourinsta: I love you forever
JACKHARLOW
liked by thatgirlstacey, justinbieber, icespice, neelamthadhani, 2forwoyne, quiiso, and 968,456 others
jackharlow: Happy Valentine’s Day to Stacey! Even though our paths have diverged, my heart still holds a special place for you! I’ll hold your heels for you any day!
view all 10,568 comments
user: oh
user: did he seriously just do this
user: he saw y/n got married and now he’s trying to make her jealous
user: this kinda embarrassing
thatgirlstacey: 🥹
user: so y’all back together or what?
user: I’m so confused
THESHADEROOM
liked by 789,360 users
theshaderoom: uh oh #roomies Y/N Y/L posted this to her IG Story but quickly deleted it! They appear to be messages from her ex boyfriend and rapper Jack Harlow! TMZ just reported earlier today that Jack and Ms. James spent Valentine’s Day together! Two months ago Jack was doing interviews saying he was still in love with Y/N!
messy messy messy 
what y’all think roommates?!
view all 12,754 comments
user: y/n is attention seeking
user: I love that she has him saved as a graveyard
user: is Stacey not embarrassed
user: jack the one that needs to be embarrassed
user: hope she gets a restraining order
user: what was the reason for her posting this
user: now when Stacey say something I don’t wanna see her acting like the victim
YOURINSTA
liked by urbanwyatt, flomillishit, mariahthescientist, saweetie, selenagomez, usher, latto777, thatgirljt and 10,566,677 others
yourinsta: we good over here boo!
view all 17,689 comments
user: OH DONT GAG THE LIVE LIKE THIS
user: 😭😭😭
user: drake the type of nigga to sing his own song while on a date
user: chileeeee
user: y/n said my man ain’t cheating on me
user: I know Stacey sick rn
saweetie: I know that mf right!
user: married y/n a savage
***
AN: ANNNNNND WE BACK!!
Tag List
(message me if you'd like to be added or removed)
@heavyhitterheaux @hoodharlow @harlowsbby @neon-lights-and-glitter @toocriticalharlow @babiefries @mace23477 @snows-blog-of-fiction @dstark-0706 @itsyagirljaz @harlowcomehome @w1ldthoughts @vinniehackersbaee @halfmoondaze @jaydaaasworld @hufflewhore128 @leftapricotprofessorlover @minkookie95 @katiaw2 @kkrenae @jackharloww @babybardi2 @plushkhiii
#jack harlow#jack harlow x reader#jack harlow x y/n#jack harlow reader#social media au#jack harlow social media au#jack harlow series#toxic
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befriend your landlord
roommate eren x f!reader
you and eren reconcile after meeting your eccentric landlord
**find the series masterlist here
content: drinking, certified nut job landlord kenny ackerman, mentions of thanksgiving and fascism, mentions of a little meow meow
an: I do not subscribe to canon lonely levi he actually just has a very alive mother and a weirdo freak uncle bc I said so. buckle in girlfriends!!! (and boyfriends and all the friends) also this chapter is based on a very real thing that happened to one of my friends in college I just think its funny...also ive evolved from calling this a mini-series cuz I plotted way too much and now cuz we gotta build the trust yk they are VERY MUCH IDIOTS IN LOVE
previous part linked here
-
“So we can’t drive because…”
“He likes to drink. Like, an insane amount.”
“What does that have to do with us?”
You and Eren were currently swinging your feet on the green bench, the train station bustling in front of you. The two of you were riding into the city to meet with your landlord today. Kenny Ackerman. You were officially being added to the lease. But apparently, it was a bigger ordeal than just signing the papers.
You’d thought against it originally. Signing a very legal, very binding agreement to live with Eren, to stay with him for the foreseeable future. It didn’t seem like the best idea, given how the two of you were as of late. Awkward, distant, aimless.
If you had things your way, you would have been moving out, you would have never even been his roommate in the first place. You had even tried apartment hunting again, just to get away from Eren. For good.
The second you tried, you immediately remembered the reason you had to live with Eren in the first place. The options were hardly to die over. Hole in the wall, bathtub for a bed, your old physics professor.
You were stuck with Eren, whether you liked it or not. And that meant you had to go, convince Kenny Ackerman you were ‘worthy of living in the apartment’ (Eren’s words, not yours), and then sign the lease.
Eren had been coaching you for a better part of the morning, this conversation being the longest the two of you had talked in the past few weeks.
Some part of talking to him was becoming easier. The two of you weren’t exactly having the conversations you had before, but it was civil. Nice even. It was the only reason you were able to stomach this entire thing.
“I would never drive you home drunk, Y/N.”
“I could have driven us home.”
“Trust me. He can be very convincing.”
Eren had been coaching you on everything you needed to know about Kenny. Don’t call him Mr. Ackerman, he will hate you. If Kuchel, his sister, is there then make sure that you call her Mrs. Ackerman. Don’t call her Kuchel until she tells you to call her Kuchel. The sooner she says that, the better. Make sure to drink anything he offers you, the pink lemonade smells bad but it’s not too horrible. If his nephew is there, don’t make eye contact unless he makes it with you first.
He was somehow more nervous introducing you to his landlord (and his landlord’s family??) than introducing you to his own parents. Granted, they kind of put a pin in that entire thing, but he seemed way more at ease then than he did right now.
You can see the timer on the screen, signaling that the next train would be here in less than a minute. You nudge his shoulder and the two of you jump off the bench, hesitantly linking arms as you push through the crowd in front of you.
The second the doors slide open, everyone pushes forward, very quickly sliding into every available seat on the train. This left you and Eren to share a single pole to hold onto as the train started moving. You secure your knuckles right under his, the two of you standing in silence, less than a foot away from each other. He leans down, his face even closer than it was before and he whispers into your ear.
“Brace your feet.”
“I know how to stand on a train, Eren.”
He doesn’t respond right away and you turn to find him looking down at the ground, avoiding meeting your gaze. You were just kidding. But then again, you did yell at him last week, so how is he supposed to know the difference?
“Six stops. Then we’ll get off.”
You nod, bracing your feet against the ground as the train starts moving. The train is stuffy, warm, and way over capacity. You can smell the girl standing directly next to you’s perfume, the prune smell so strong it was making your head spin. But worse than the smell was the heat, the congregation of people making the air congested, your hair sticking to the back of your neck from the sweat.
The two of you are pressed against each other, standing awkwardly. In silence. You did that a lot lately. This thing between the two of you was…delicate. You’re not sure what it is but the usual comfort, ease that you and Eren had was all but eliminated, left with this quietness. If you made a joke, it was lost to him entirely. If he said something that caught you off guard, you usually avoided responding by leaving the room. You had shouted at him and he made fun of you, so that didn’t leave much room for comfort.
The train quickly lurches, slowing down all of a sudden. You quickly lose your footing, stumbling in the air as the train stops completely. Before you can fall, Eren secures his hand against your waist, stabilizing you in the air as the train comes to a full stop. You watch a few people get off the train and switch with those getting on, your breath still shaky from losing your balance.
You feel him lean down, his head directly next to yours as he whispers in your ear, again. His hand is still secured around your waist, holding you steady. Even though the train wasn’t moving.
“So when I said brace your feet, I basically meant-”
“Shut up, Eren.”
“We should get a leash for the ride back. Lock you up real nice so you won’t move.”
“Perfect! We can use after too, when I have to drag your drunk ass home.”
The two of you are laughing, readjusting yourself against the pole as the train starts again. His hands are still holding you steady and you can feel your cheeks flushing pink. From the heat. Obviously.
There’s always moments like this - ones where it feels like nothing’s changed at all. You try not to think too hard about them. They’ve always gotten you in trouble.
He tightens his grip on your waist every time the train lurches and stops, for all five of the stops. You avoid the pounding in your chest, which only stops when you both hop off the train at the end of the line.
As you wait for Eren to pay for the return tickets, you spot a tiny black kitten, just at the end of the sidewalk. You immediately run down, nuzzling the tiny little cat as you pet it. As you breathe in the air, you immediately sneeze twice, your eyes watery from the sensation. You immediately hear the sound of a camera clicking, to find Eren standing over you, his phone in hand.
“What was that for?”
“Two kitties!”
“Ew.”
He holds his hand out, pulling you up as the two of you walk down the block to Kenny’s apartment. Your hands are at your side, lightly brushing against Eren’s every time he leans over, making room for the other people on the sidewalk. The sun is setting on top of the buildings, the air slightly chilled. The two of you stop, standing directly on Kenny’s porch. He glances over, giving you one last look.
“Why are you so nervous, Eren?”
“He can be really weird. And he’s going to grill you. Just- we have to bear with him to keep the rent the way it is and live together so, just don’t blow it, okay?”
“I really appreciate your vote of confidence, Eren. Your faith in me is rejuvenating”
“That’s- shut up, you know that’s not what I meant.”
The two of you give each other a smile, as Eren turns to the side and knocks on the door.
“Why didn’t you ring the doorbell?” you whisper.
“His doorbell is La Cucaracha.” he responds.
The door swings open and you’re greeted with three faces staring down at you - identical sets of jet black hair and gray eyes glistening in the lamplight of the street. At the sight of you, their faces all visibly droop, as they all welcome you in.
“He looks too young for you, Levi. And he brought a pretty girl.”
“Those are the tenants, Mom. Not Erwin.”
The two of them shuffle down the hall, pushing past into the room.
“Kenny Ackerman. You must be Eren’s new roommate.”
“Yes, that’s me. It’s so nice to meet you.”
You hold your hand out, him nearly jostling your entire body as he shakes your hand. He idles down the hallway to where the other two had gone, leaving you and Eren in the walkway. You whisper to Eren as the two of you hang your coats on the rack.
“They hate me already.”
“That’s not true. Kuchel called you pretty.”
You roll your eyes, the two of you awkwardly shuffling into the living room, where the three of them were sitting across from you. It’s only then that you can get a better look at them and realize that you know one of them. Levi. Your old physics professor. The one who you cried to about not having a roommate that took pity on you and let you sleep in his house.
“Hi Professor Levi. It’s been a while.”
“I see you’ve found a roommate. I can’t believe you found a place to live in one week.”
“I thought you said the two of you had been living together for a few months, Eren.”
“We have, Kenny.”
“Ah, right. I was just looking around at other apartments for the past week just to see if anything popped up on the market. And they didn’t. So I’m here.”
Eren ducks his head down, the expression on his face dark. He whispers into your ear as the three of them start chattering, still discussing Erwin.
“What? You want to move out?”
“No, no. I was just looking. It must be awkward for you to live with a girl who isn’t your girlfriend, you know?”
He leans over, his eyes teetering between annoyed and irritated.
“She’s not my girlfriend. I don’t know how many times I have to tell you that.”
The doorbell rings, throwing you and Eren out of the conversation you were having. You watch the three of them jump up and rush to the door, fixing their hair and their clothes as they make it to the door. You and Eren stand up, peeking your heads down the hallway as you watch the three of them greet Erwin. Your old political science professor.
First Levi now Erwin too? You can feel your cheeks burning from embarrassment, remembering that you had actually cried to the two of them twice - the first time to Levi when you were jumping houses and he agreed to let you stay with them and a second time when Erwin offered you an extra pillow before you went to sleep.
“Hello. I’m Erwin Smith.”
“Eren Yeager. This is my roommate, Y/N.”
“Ah, Y/N. How are you? You figured out your living situation fast!”
You don’t miss Eren glaring daggers at you out of the corner of your eye as you give Levi and Erwin an awkward smile, shaking your sweaty palms against their hands.
“Okay kid. You and Kuchel should go fix the dinner with Erwin in the kitchen. I have to talk to these two here.”
Why are you and Eren here the first time Levi’s family is meeting his long term boyfriend?
You look over to Eren whose irritation has very quickly been replaced with nervousness. Kenny is staring the two of you down, the two of you squished together on his very tiny couch.
“So. You go to Shiganshina?”
You feel your voice tangle in your throat, suddenly intimidated by Kenny staring you down. You can hear Eren’s voice echoing in your head, his angry look seared in your mind, your voice not coming out. He’s going to grill you. Don’t blow it.
“Yes. She’s an Applied Kinesiology major. She’s very smart.”
You look over, silently thanking the gods that Eren answered for you.
“Can you pay rent?”
“She has been, for the past two months.”
He nods, leaning over the table as he stares you down.
“I’ll give you a situation. Respond accordingly.”
You nod, clenching your hands into little fists against the couch.
“You just got off of work. You’re really tired but you have to stop by the store to get groceries. You’ve purchased them all. What do you do after?”
You look over at Eren, giving him a weary stare. What the fuck kind of question is that? Is there even a right answer to this?
“Well, I would leave the store. And take my cart, if I had one, to my car. I’d probably put my stuff away, return the cart, and then just drive home, put everything in the fridge and the cabinets.”
He nods, taking in your answer as he leans back in his chair.
“Do you like Eren?”
“What?”
“As a roommate.”
“Oh. Right. Yeah, he’s great.”
“Why did you start rooming with him?”
You can’t lie. It seems wrong to tell him that your old roommates chose not to room with you for the next year - he was sure to not think you were a good fit if you said that. But if he found out you were lying, it would be even worse.
“Well you see, she-”
“I asked her, Eren.”
You feel him move his knee, pressing his against yours as his fingers curl around your hand. You feel him squeeze your hand twice, his green eyes warm as he looks at you. Right. You can do this.
“I used to live with a few of my friends last year. I didn’t really know, but they had picked other arrangements without telling me, so I was left without a roommate for around a week. Eren was nice enough to offer me the empty spot in his room so I didn’t have to jump around from my friends' places every night.”
He stares the two of you down. You’re rubbing circles into the back of Eren’s hand, the two of you holding your breaths as you wait for his response.
“Sucks. Kids are bitches.”
You both squeeze, trying your best not to smile.
“Yeah.”
“If you kids start dating, you can't be loud at night. You’ll piss off the neighbors. You can sign the lease after dinner. You passed.”
He gets up off the couch, his distinct smoke smell leaving the room with him. You turn to Eren, the two of you smiling at each other as you lift your hands to high five. Eren holds your hand in the air, shaking your hand excitedly.
“You passed, kitty.”
“Where are we right now? Do you smell that? How does it smell like smoke and laundry at the same time? And what the fuck kind of question was that? I thought I was going to vomit. ”
“Weird guy. Nice rent rates, though.”
“And Levi. He’s my physics professor. I literally had a crush on him. And his boyfriend, he was my political science professor too. I even stayed over at their house once. This is about to be super weird.”
“Why did you stay at their house?”
“I didn’t have a place to stay! This was before you offered, when I was jumping houses.”
“Were they loud at night?”
“Ew. Don’t put that thought in my head. I’m going to vomit.”
“Save it for later.”
“As if. I can hold my drink. Trust me.”
-
You and Eren are seated directly across from Levi and Erwin at the dinner table, Kuchel and Kenny taking the heads of the tables at the ends. A large part of this feels like you and Eren are intruding on a very special moment, but you ignore that and dig into the food.
Right. For some reason, Kenny picked Thanksgiving food for the menu. In the middle of September. Like full on turkey dinner, mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce.
“So, do you like Thanksgiving, Kenny?”
“I hate fascism, Y/N. No, I do not like Thanksgiving.”
You look over at Eren, trying your best to contain your laughter, as Kenny goes on, rambling about something you’re not quite sure about. Everything Eren said was slowly starting to fall into place - you really can’t turn down drinks from the guy. He’d already made you try three different drinks he made and you had only been here for an hour. And the pink lemonade was actually disgusting, Eren’s just a liar.
Kuchel turns to the two of you, flashing you both a big smile.
“Say Eren. You never told us you got a pretty girlfriend.”
You and Eren both choke on your food, clearing your throats.
“Ah. I’m not Eren’s girlfriend. We just live together. Friends.”
“Uh huh. Right. What a shame. You two are so sweet together. Sharing your sweet little smiles, playing footsie under the table.”
You immediately drag your foot off of Eren’s under the table, embarrassed that she had caught that. Every time Levi rolled his eyes, Eren tapped your foot to get your attention, the two of you trying not to laugh. It’s not your fault that rolling his eyes is basically like blinking to Levi.
“Ma. Leave them alone, yeah? They’re just kids, they don’t know what they feel.”
“I have to agree with Lee’ here, Mrs. Ackerman. Surely, they just haven’t reached that stage yet.”
“You call Levi Lee’, Erwin? That’s so sweet. Oh you two are just perfect and I-”
The four of you five of you watch Kuchel burst into tears, taking turns pressing kisses to everyone's cheeks at the table. You and Eren included. When she sits down, Eren leans over, whispering in your ear.
“She’s like Annie on hour five of being drunk.”
“More like hour one.”
You both laugh, silently eating your food as you watch them interact with each other again. Some parts of it feel like a reality tv show. Kenny’s is downright ridiculous - he’s been hurling out whatever comes to his mind. He told Eren that he seemed like the type to commit genocide in another life and then told Erwin that he would be a corrupt military man.
Kuchel is sweet. Almost two sweet. She spent a large majority of the night crying, telling baby stories about Levi when he was a kid. You don’t miss the way Levi’s ears turn red when she confesses that Levi used to be scared of the toilet when he was younger.
Best of all are Levi and Erwin. You don’t miss the glances between them - the silent communication they had going on at the table. It’s like the rest of you weren’t even here. That’s where you think Eren got the idea, the tapping on the feet. A signal that you were going to talk laugh about it later.
-
Eight drinks in and Kenny is blasting music, doing a solo interpretive dance to Etta James. You and Levi are in one corner with Kuchel, Erwin, and Eren in the other.
“I can’t believe this guy is your uncle. Did you ever do a DNA test?”
“Hundreds.”
You turn your neck to find Levi, staring across Erwin on the other side of the room. You follow his gaze, watching Kuchel pinch Eren’s cheeks and Erwin laugh at the two of them.
“What’s your deal?”
“What do you mean?”
“With Eren. You like him right?”
You look down into your cup, the opaque liquid staring back at you. Erwin had made you a fruity drink, to which Kenny responded “everything about this guy is fruity!”
“Yeah.”
“He doesn’t like you back?”
“No.”
“I didn’t like Erwin at first. He was too much - pretentious, arrogant, irrational at times.”
“But?”
“But, he was my best friend. At some point, all the love and admiration I had for him just became something more. Like, yeah, he was my favorite person to be around but then I wanted to be around him all the time. Tell him the good things, the bad things. Share something with him, anything, everything. I…I didn’t hate myself when I was with him.”
You smile, squeezing Levi’s shoulder in your hands.
“That’s sweet, Levi. I’m happy for you.”
He gives you a small smile, turning his neck back to look at them across the hall.
“Be his friend. Maybe he’ll come around.”
-
Six drinks in and Eren is feeling buzzed. He was trying his best to pace himself, make sure he was sane enough to take you home at the end of the night. He could tell by the glazed look in your eyes that you were getting there, close to being fully plastered.
He turns his neck, scanning for you around the room. You kept disappearing. But there you were, directly across from him, leaning against the wall from Levi. He meets your eyes and you give him a soft smile, accompanied with a tiny wave. His heart’s pounding.
“Do you like her, Eren? Oh please say that you do.”
Kuchel is squeezing his shoulders, her eyes lighting up in excitement.
“Yeah. Maybe a little bit.”
“Oh, oh, oh. You have to tell her. Don’t let her get away now!”
“Ah, I tried. She doesn’t like me.”
He watches her face droop, Erwin shaking his head in the air. Both of their cheeks are flushed pink, the cups they were holding shaking in their hands. Surely the only people who were at least somewhat sober were you and Eren, which was saying a lot.
“You know, Eren. I knew Levi was the one the moment I saw him.”
“Really?”
“I liked him so much, I wanted him around. In whatever sense that means. Even if he only wanted to be my friend.”
“He didn’t want to be with you?”
“Oh no, he loathed me. Like full of hatred.”
“And that didn’t…bother you?”
“Maybe a little bit, but we became friends after that. And I just wanted him around. Whatever way he would have me. Even just being his friend, getting to see him everyday, that was enough for me.”
Eren cranes his neck back over, where Kenny has his arms slung around you and Levi. He’s forcing the two of you to sign with him - Levi looking downright murderous while you flash Kenny a polite smile.
“Just be her friend, Eren. Maybe she’ll come around like Levi did.”
-
You can’t hold your drink. Obviously. But Eren knew that already. He had been watching you for a better part of the last hour, your inhibitions absent. Erwin had made you yet another fruit themed drink, which you were all too happy to down. The second he saw the glass hit your hand, he’d focused all of his best efforts in trying to sober up, calm the thrill running through his blood.
You had made your way back over to him after some time, the two of you on the couch. You were leaning your head against his shoulder, your breaths heavy and uneven. At the sight of Kenny - who was now singing with Kuchel on the table - you suddenly perk up, your hands pressed against his shoulders as you lean over him.
“Eren.”
“Hm, peaches?”
“I have a plan.” you whisper, your eyes somewhere between delirious and devious.
“Uh huh. What’s that?”
“You and I should sign the lease now. Then mail the letters. That way, we can leave and Kenny can’t get mad because we basically did him a favor. We’ll just tell Levi in case he asks.” you whisper, a smile spreading across your face.
You’re drunk out of your mind. Not that Eren himself isn’t drunk either, he can certainly feel the buzz he was trying to will away living, but he’s not as gone as you.
“Genius idea.”
“I know right!”
He was being sarcastic, but you had already jumped off the couch, to where Levi and Erwin were standing in the corner. He quickly follows, catching up to balance you as you stumble over to where the two of them were standing.
“So. Levi. Right, hi Levi.”
He’s mentally debating if he should stop you. You are very plastered and could potentially say something embarrassing. But there’s something so funny, so endearing about the determined little look on your face that he decides against it, letting you go on.
“You’re a man.”
He watches the confusion spread across Levi’s already strained face, his eyes flitting between you and Eren.
“And you, Erwin, are a man too. You two are men.”
“That’s correct, Y/N. You’re very perceptive.”
Eren tries his best to conceal his laughter, as you go on, talking to the two of them. You’re definitely worse than Annie.
“Marriage. It’s a thing, you know? And a man can do it. And a woman can too. And you are a man and he is a man and you can both do that. And we want to come to that. Like go to there.”
How did you get from talking about the lease to marriage?
“Eren. What is she going on about?”
“We’re going to sign the lease papers and mail them on our way out so we can leave. We have to be up early tomorrow and she literally cannot drink more. We were going to ask if you could let Kenny know tomorrow and tell him to be easy on us.”
“You drive here?”
“No. Train. We’ll be fine to get back, Levi. I got her.”
He nods. Eren doesn’t miss the look Erwin and Levi give each other as the two of you lock hands, tip-toeing into Kenny’s office. Of course Erwin told him.
The two of you quickly rush out, laughing as you run down the block before any of them notice. You slow down as you pass the corner, the two of you strolling the rest of the way down the block back to the train station. He can tell you’re winding down by the way you’re leaning against him, skipping steps.
The train car is empty, this being the last train leaving the station. He settles the two of you into the seats at the front, getting in first.
“Ren. Can I have the window?”
He nods, wordlessly changing seats with you. This seat’s better anyways. You look out the window. And he can look at you.
You lean over, your eyes drooping as you lean over. He’s not sure what it is, maybe Kenny’s rancid tequila is still running through his bloodstream, but he locks his hand with yours, pressing his fingers against the scar in between your knuckles.
“I…miss you, Y/N. Being your friend.”
He watches your expression drop, your eyes fluttering fully open.
“You don’t think we’re friends?”
“No! I mean, yes. I just didn’t realize you thought we were still friends. After everything that happened, the fight we had I just kind of- I don’t know.”
You’re quiet for some time and he can see the gears moving in your head. Your eyes are now pinched shut, your forehead scrunched in concentration. Maybe this was the right time to say this. Hopefully, you don’t even remember tomorrow.
“Are we in second grade, Ren? Do you really not think we’re friends?”
Of course. The words he said to you, the day you were sick.
“We are still friends. I just meant, it was different for the past few days. But today, this was…nice. I enjoyed it.”
You smile in response, the two of you leaning your heads against the back of the seats, the only sound being the whirring of the train behind you.
“Y/N. You wouldn’t really move out, would you?”
“I was hoping you forgot about that. It’s my fault. I kind of…get in my head sometimes, I don’t know.”
“About?”
“I thought you didn’t want me around. So I didn’t want to be around you. I thought you hated me or something.”
“Y/N. Look at me.”
His eyes are dark, the same way as when Levi mentioned you were looking for another roommate.
“I could never hate you.”
“I know, I just meant-”
“No. You clearly don’t know.”
You turn over to find an irritated look plastered on his face, his jaw clenched shut. You press your fingers against his shoulder, squeezing twice to get his attention. He flutters his eyes open, leaning down to look at you.
“You’re special to me. I don’t understand what I did that made you think I would ever make fun of you or hate you. You...piss me off when you say stuff like-”
He’s cut off by you placing your hand on his cheek, your eyes peering into his.
“Sorry, Ren.’
“S’okay. I know why you do it. But just remember, I’m not your stupid old roommates or your lame ex-boyfriend or anyone who ever made you feel that way. You and I are-”
“Friends.”
Not what he quite had in mind, but he’ll take it.
“Yeah. You can tell me anything.”
“Okay. You too.”
He sees you smile, your eyes wafting shut against his shoulders. He can feel the pit in his stomach burning, the exact same way it did every time you did something. When you smiled at him, fixed his hair, got him coffee. God, he still loves you.
“So Ren. Do you want to hang out after recess?”
“Shut up. You’re so corny, kitty.”
“Ew.”
-
The next morning, Eren makes you breakfast and you sing in the shower. Progress.
-
next part linked here
taglist: @maliakealoha @smolone88 @mykyoon @squirrelspoetry @roronoazorosbxtchh @fell-4-u @erensleftnutt @thelazylemur @mg63k @filunara @mblrrr @spidersinmybutthole @lezsie @erensmoodygf @maesthebestmonth @nanamiswife22 @lalalucidity @lapin0u @cullenswife @leafguitar @saiyasworld @rebeccawinters @mrs-sullys-blog @red-moon-dream @icansmellsouls @luvinclouds @katestrophes @amourely @6sakusa @miralbdo @k0z3me @celiniverse @txminie-blog @erenspersonalwh0re @s0f14sbs @violetmatcha @sweetenertea @wheredidmycrowngo @serendippindots @intimacywithceline @alonemoth @l0v31yw0r1d @meowmeowmau @miasthoughtsdotcom
reply under this post or any of the one’s linked above to be added to the tag list! <3
#besties in love!!!#back to our regularly scheduled cutie#seeingivywrites!#roommate eren#eren x you#eren x reader#eren x y/n#eren jaeger x you#eren jaeger x reader#eren jaeger x y/n#eren fluff#aot#snk#aot x you#aot x reader#aot x y/n#snk x you#snk x reader#snk x y/n#read more break
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Follow-up to my last ask--
Headcanon: you are just as weird and obsessive and stalker as penpal!Simon... you just don't have the resources he does.
And when he finds out? He's not sure whether to run for the hills or keep you forever.
simon would never run for the hills. he's a certified freak, he likes crazy. probably prefers it cuz that way he doesn't have to hide who he is. we know that he's not mentally stable, got a few missing screws and all.
i love him being unrepentantly insane and when he finds his match? might genuinely think about settling down. like take her last name and all.
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i am so happy the bart allen fandom subsect against his infantilization are finally back in business (only tumblr user @melonlthawne gets a pass for drawing baby bart with a childhood cuz they’re cool and funny).
i understand some ppl need their Actual Kid Characters to cope, but bart aint a tomasian superson, as some of you might believe. he’s barely a flash (the scriptures say even mark waid wanted flash!bart dead), and he’s certainly not young justice’s baby brother/son/infant to care for. i understand some of y’all’s lives are dedicated to infantilizing the first short/neurodiverse/weird character that you see for whatever hellish projection purposes you got goin on, but i want you to know that it’s wholly a YOU problem, not a bart allen problem.
bart allen fucks. he’s short and has amazing hair. his girlfriends in canon involve a girl he didn’t even know was his girlfriend until he got smooched at a baseball game. his homies thought he was a rat bastard cop when he was disguised as impulse. his superbestie is kinda horny for him, which is great, bc kon is rarely horny for men but Bart Allen Is The Exception. he’s a canon gamer. he was a foster kid. he’s a refugee. he died a couple of times. he’s insane and dangerous and violent to boot. he’s weird too. no amount of headassery is gonna erase the fact that, that man is a Certified Freak From The Future. find peace in your heart.
and make sure you participate in bartkon week this summer
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canon fun-facts about eren that I think would bleed into his character when in a modern universe:
this mf fights all. the. time! acting like he don’t got nothing better to do 🙄 relax and use your words for once, mr.hot hands!
eren jaeger is a certified clean freak!!! he’s constantly scrubbing or washing something. at times, he likes to therapy-clean to calm himself down. also very big on his hygiene and self care, especially when it comes to his hair. he’d make a great househusband with those cleaning skills of his…
he’s a heavyweight drinker! this man could throw back shot after shot and still be (somewhat) sober, which means he can’t blame his wild behavior on the alcohol. that ain’t drunkenness, it’s all him!
eren has a creepy-cute pet centipede, because he’s always felt some sort of connection to them. he’d probably get a centipede-inspired tattoo on his arm.
his high pain tolerance is borderline insane. this man could get shot, stabbed, beaten, have the very worst done to him, and he’ll still be standing— ready to retaliate, even! he’s a crazy man, I tell you!
he probably used to habitually bite his hand as a child. now he has these faint marks around his thumb because he preferred hand-chewing over a damn binky 😭
this man has been on my mind for unexplainable reasons… now I’m writing headcanons about him? ABEG! SOMEONE SAVE ME FROM THIS EREN PHASE!!!
#the eren brainrot is clearly taking over me…#my love for bitchboy jaeger is officially rekindled 😭💔#he’s just a crazy little guy#— harmoni rambles#— (.eren)#eren jaeger#eren brainrot#eren headcanons#eren
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okay i just finished reading the yangchen novels and i need someone to talk to me about yangchen/kavik 🙏 does it count as a rarepair because nobody has read the yangchen novels 😭
ikr there are like 5 yangvik fanfics on ao3 which is crazy you guys should be going insane over them. like it should NOT count as a rarepair it’s literally the central romance of these books and it’s hetero (hetroooo jessica that’s her name) how is it so unpopular. i mean kyoshi/rangi being popular is good tho bc i do love to see dykes winning but yangvik fucking rules i am sorry to say. like i think they might be more compelling than the lesbos i can’t believe i am saying that but.
they’re both so insane and in really similar ways (extreme younger sibling complex) and sooo smart and manipulative and scary it’s awesome. i love that yangchen is always making kavik her bitch and she refuses to admit that it’s because his skills are useful to her and she likes having him around so she’s always just like “im doing this to make you suffer >:D” and he fully believes her. and then once he’s finally fulfilled his contract (by literally getting stabbed for her) he’s like “ok well i think i am going to move back home and become a healer now” and she’s like “omggggg NOOOO you CANT go I NEED YOUUUU” like she simply did not consider the being nice and honest approach until she could no longer extort him to get him to work for/with her she’s so fucking funny for that. also I love the line where she’s like “well. he has nice teeth.” what a strangely horny thing to think about someone, like okay you dentally-minded freak.
meanwhile kavik is constantly oscillating between “she is the all-powerful avatar” and “she’s just a sopping wet poor little meow meow. why won’t anyone help her????” and that scene where he tries her tea and it has like. amphetamines in it is so fucking funny. he’s just like damn bitch you live like this???? also that scene where they’re playing sparrowkeets and yangchen is like “oh my god kavik is actually so bad at this game he totally oversold his abilities he’s literally a fucking fool and i was a fool to trust him” meanwhile kavik is sitting there like “wow this is so obvious and i am in complete control of the situation. i love how we are both on the same page about how i am totally fucking playing this guy rn :)” when he spins her around in the air and the rest of their team gets so fucking mad that he’s treating her like a girl and a friend instead of the supreme leader of the universe and they’re just like “um. what. we’re literally buddies. and yes we are also extorting each other. what about it.”
they’re so fucking crazy. and the fact that they never even so much as kiss is even crazier. kyoshi and rangi are like so much more confident with each other and yangchen and kavik (literal heteros) who are constantly dancing around their latent feelings and sublimated desires and for what. they’re both young and attractive the world is literally their oyster. what’s with all the fucking secrecy. oh right. they got that spy grindset. can’t even admit you have feelings because that’s a card that can be played against you. gotta act like you don’t even care about your best friend in the world because they’re a really good liar so what if they’re just faking their affection as part of a long con. never act on your feelings because that’s a weakness that can be exploited. they’re like the gay people of m/f ships but also what they’ve going on goes far deeper than that like they’re literally certifiably insane. both of them.
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That’s it. Here are my personal Top 10 favorite TBOSAS fanfics to read on the weekends.
PS: Most of them were published even before the trailer for the upcoming movie premiered.
So here are my recommendations:
1. The Plinth Prize by Redex
This oneshot is a certified classic angsty Snowjanus/SnowPlinth fic. And honestly, this is why I support my fellow SnowPlinth shippers, cuz this story could definitely replace the last 3 chapters of TBOSAS and I wouldn’t even question it.
2. Nothing to lose by HopelessRomantikk
This oneshot is another Snowjanus/SnowPlinth fic. However, this one is quite romantically sweet as cinnamon with lots of kisses. Just play the song Say Yes to Heaven by Lana Del Rey in the background and you’re good to go.😘
3. Reflections of the Garden by madzdolin
This one is an angsty SnowBaird fic that actually gives you one of the best bittersweet endings ever. It also gave the readers a proper closure to Coryo’s relationship with both Lucy Gray and Sejanus. You might even cry a little when you read the last chapter. Just saying~.😚
4. Saving Each Other by flipflop_diva
This oneshot is one of those unique SnowBaird fics that gives the readers a good “What if” scenario to seriously think about, cuz in this AU, Coryo doesn’t escape the Arena with Sejanus. So he’s basically stuck with Lucy Gray as another “tribute,” until they both won by waiting and poisoning everybody else. And yes, Reaper was not amused.
5. You Complete Me by gaytriforce
This oneshot is another classic Snowjanus/SnowPlinth confession fic. Moreover, I really loved the simple way of how they got together. And to be honest, this short fic could replace the whole Peacekeeper arc and I wouldn’t even notice the change.
6. Pursuit Predation by evaerobics
This oneshot is that rare Snowjanus/SnowPlinth AU fic that deserves another 50 chapters. It basically gives the readers a “What if” scenario where Coryo was chosen to Mentor District two’s male Tribute, Sejanus Plinth. And yes, Sejanus kissed Coryo in front of his classmates before entering the Capitol Arena.
7. The last two loves of his life by boneslen
This one is a good bittersweet angsty SnowBaird/SnowPlinth fic. Basically, Lucy Gray was forced to become an Avox by Dr. Gaul. Sejanus is still dead. And Coryo is busy having a mental breakdown every second of the day. The newly elected President of Panem just really wants both his girlfriend and boyfriend back, ok. The Bi-panic is real with this one.
8. Roses and Nutmeg by PliaPlia
This Snowjanus/SnowPlinth oneshot features a very stressed out malnourished AF Coryo, who became quite ill because he keeps giving away his food to a very busy Tigris. Seriously, somebody give the poor cabbage boy some soup. Sejanus, call your Ma and feed your future boyfriend.
9. Feverish Dreams by Cordeliadumaurier
Let’s just agree that this long ass SnowBaird fic has the craziest story of the season. I mean, the revenge plot alone is amazing, and every single character is insane in their own way, even Lucy Gray. Moreover, everyone is just borderline obsessed with Coryo’s dead dad, Crassus Snow. Even dead Dean Casca Highbottom was freaking in love with Snow’s dead dad! So yeah, they’re all obsessed, depressed, and crazy. Everyone needs therapy, but Snow still lands on top. #Crasca4ever
10. The Sound of Snow Falling by PRES_CS_HGT
This HG/TBOSAS fic is one of my personal favorites. The plot alone is great and unique in its own way, because it features a very young and confused 5’4 and a half Coryo Snow waking up after the end of the Second Rebellion. Also, the new President, Alma Coin wants to place him inside the Arena as a Tribute for the crimes he doesn’t even remember committing. And his assigned Mentor, Katniss Everdeen hates him for some reason. And what the heck happened to Tigris?! Why is she so old?! And why does she look like a literal tiger?! Who knows, Coryo Snow.
Special Mention:
1. I’m so sorry, Coryo by HopelessRomantikk
Basically, this features Sejanus Plinth’s angsty POV in TBOSAS, and how he was secretly in love with Coryo Snow since forever. However, he still meets the same fate here.
2. The needle in the brain by Sweetlit
This TBOSAS AU fic is already wild and spicy like some Lana Del Rey album. The plot alone is great and full of mysteries. Moreover, this story’s “What if” scenario features a very desperate and depressed Coryo Snow seducing a heartbroken Dean Casca Highbottom to let him stay in the Capitol after winning the Hunger Games. And let’s just agree that if ever Crassus Snow reads this fic, he might as well burn Panem to the ground.
3. The Hanging Tree by SirFanfic
This oneshot features a regretful Coryo Snow, who decided to have a last minute change of heart and saved Sejanus from being hanged.
#coriolanus snow#president snow#coryo snow#tbosas#bosas#hunger games#lucy gray baird#sejanus plinth#casca highbottom#dean highbottom#the ballad of songbirds and snakes#ballad of songbirds and snakes#the hunger games#suzanne collins#thg#fanfic#thg fanfiction#thg fic#thg fandom#snowbaird#snowplinth#fanfiction#fic recommendation#ao3#ao3 link#fanfic rec#fic rec#coriolanus x sejanus#snowjanus#crassus snow
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Any general Yandere!Dennis Rafkin headcanons? Like general relationship headcanons?
A/N: love that you specified you wanted some general yandere relationship hc's!!
DENNIS RAFKIN / IDOLIZER, CLINGY, PROTECTIVE
Depending on the environment you meet him in you'll either walk away from that first meeting thinking he's certifiable, or thinking he's a little high-strung, but sweet.
If you meet him in day to day life, such as at the grocery store or while picking up food, you'll think he's a little odd, but cute.
If you meet him because you both work for Cyrus you will think he is insane. There is no in-between.
Either way, you find him charming enough to interact with him on a continual basis. Why you choose to do so might vary. Do you pity him a little? Sense the loneliness that he hides beneath his snark? Do you just want to figure out what his damage is? Up to you. But you keep coming back for more.
Starting a relationship with him will be slow going. Hell, becoming his friend was like pulling teeth out the mouth of a tiger.
But there really isn't a person more worthy of waiting around for. While he may have done some things he's not proud of, Dennis is incredibly loyal. Saying he keeps his social circle small is an understatement. His social circle is actually almost nonexistent.
Once you have a place in his life, even one of friendship, he’d be willing to die for you.
He knows he’s strange. He knows that he might throw people off with his seemingly random mood swings, or outbursts. He knows the way he shivers at random, or goes blank faced in certain rooms can be scary. He’s grateful you stick around anyways.
He becomes a yandere as slowly as he lets you take up room in his life.
Every step forward you make in the relationship makes him a little more obsessed with you.
He does put you on a pedestal. Why shouldn’t he? You’re the best thing in his life. Where other people have abandoned him because of his gifts, or thought he was a freak, or nothing but a tool to use, you just see him. Dennis. Who could let that go after a lifetime of looking for it?
You’ll be dating for a few months before he starts integrating touch into the relationship. Like everything else, it’s slow going. He takes an extra dose of his medication to try and prevent himself from having a seizure.
If you’ve had a particularly traumatic life/experiences, Dennis asks how sure you are of touching him. Because he’ll see it all. Even the most honest person lies to others or themselves, sometimes. It’s human nature. If you want to downplay something, or don’t want him to know it happened, Dennis won’t touch you. Not until you’re ready for him to know.
When you do touch it’s small. A simple touch of the hands. Depending on the type of life you’ve lived he’ll either smile at you when he pulls away or he’ll cry. He didn’t think he was going to cry, but the tears start to fall before he’s even finished seeing the memories.
He’s seen some truly awful things before, with his powers. But seeing you in any type of pain is different. It’s you. You can’t hug yet, but he holds your hand, and maybe you cry together.
The more he touches you the less likely he is to have a seizure. It’s like exposure therapy. He’s never liked another person enough to bother trying to desensitize himself. No one’s stuck around long enough to even try.
He’ll still get flashes of your life at random. Your first day of school when you kiss his cheek. The first time you went to a funeral when you hug him. The first time you got your heart broken, when you link your arm through his. Your first time eating your favorite food, when you sit in his lap.
It warms him to be able to know you in a way no one else could ever know you.
Once you start to touch he craves it. He’s gone a lifetime without being able to share the casual intimacy everyone else takes for granted. He likes to come up behind you and just hold you against himself, rocking you gently side to side.
Dennis is always gentle with you. He’s seen too much violence to ever touch you unkindly. His kisses are gentle. The way he holds you is gentle. In a world of pain he wants to be good to you. He wants you to be good to each other.
A/N: if you enjoyed this piece consider reblogging, leaving a reply, or a sweet anon! a writers fuel is engagement. xoxoxo
#13 ghosts#dennis rafkin x reader#dennis rafkin imagines#dennis rafkin#if you see any grammar or spelling mistakes feel free to point them out#thank you for reading the rules of the blog!!!!#black!reader
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Movies I think Dethklok members would really like
No this is not based on anything I’m just in a mood™ rn
Nathan Explosion
Mad God
So, no, I did not have any ounce of an idea of what this movie was about when I originally watched it, and I’m still not 100% sure tbh but an hour and a half of these pure vibes would totally be up Nathan’s alley. The post-apocalyptic setting, all the gore, the details of the various monsters, and I think he would just really appreciate it from an artist’s standpoint as well. This movie would just resonate with him, even if he wouldn’t have a fucking clue what was going on the whole time.
Mary and Max
I’m, personally, a bit on-the-fence about this movie, but it is undeniably sweet and I headcanon Nate to be on the spectrum so 🤷
This would be, like, his guilty pleasure film. The movie he knows is for kids and is totally not brutal but he loves it anyway. The, “I do not feel disabled, defective, or a need to be cured” really hits for him every single time. He rewatches it at least once every few months, especially when he’s in some sort of emotional slump.
Mandy
Another one that just like, like, big Nathan energy, you know? He just seems like a guy to really love loose plots with trippy visuals and strong emotions attached to them. Also, this movie is so completely badass, it is certified metal in his book. He also finds the story incredibly tragic; having the love of your life stripped away from you in such circumstances really tugs at his heartstrings, but in a way that gets him pumped up rather than sad. This is probably his go-to when people ask, “what’s your favorite movie?”
Pickles the Drummer
Son in Law
Okay this is my guilty pleasure movie. I usually don’t like stoner-comedy from the 90s, but this movie hits different. Maybe I just find Crawl hot. Anyway, I’m projecting that onto Pickles. He honestly probably finds a lot of crappy comedies to be peak film, and this is no exception. Pauly Shore pretending to be a country boy for a whole movie? Hells yeah. Pickles would watch while high off his mind, laughing his butt off and going to town on some cheez-its or something. And you know what? He deserves it.
Opal
I’m counting short films because I feel like Opal is the movie for Pickles. He’d watch it on a whim, because these are not usually the types of things he enjoys, and then he’d in tears over the emotional rollercoaster he did not agree to go on. Like, he grew up in a neglective household with authority figures that were overly-selfish and projected their own problems onto the youngest one in the house, to which he had to hide within his own brain more often than not just to properly function. And then he just…watched it happen all again in the hypnotic style of Jack Stauber. The Mom’s song had him in gasping tears for a while, the way you get when a movie somehow perfectly captures your own trauma right in front of you. And the ending??? Ugh. Go watch Opal, guys, it’s on YouTube.
Nathan and Pickles both get very emotional about certain stop-motion films, isn’t that crazy?
House
Thank you to Lucy for this Letterbox review that I think he would write
Anyway-
This movie is actually so insane. It’s not scary in a horror-movie way, like it meant to be, it’s scary as in ‘What the hell is happening and why do I understand it?’ Pickles doesn’t like most traditional horror films, as the long, quiet suspense bores him and the sudden jumpscares freak him the hell out way more than they should. But he loves the campy-wacko-type horror that they were apparently making in 70s Japan. It’s just scary enough to get his heart pumping, but the pure silliness of it all overrides that, getting him in a giddy mood and excited to see what happens next.
(No I am not done but tumblr won’t let me add more pictures)
#polyklok is real#metalocalypse#dethklok#dethklok headcanon#metalocaypse headcanon#nathan explosion#pickles the drummer#Nathan explosion headcanon#pickles the drummer headcanon
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