#certainly not me!

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

Milk theory? 👁️👁️

ANYTHING FOR YOU TWO!!!!

ok this is gonna be short and mildly insane. i would like everyone to understand that this is pretty much Entirely unfounded & i'm just reading too much into a teeny little thing. however i've convinced myself that this theory is viable against all better judgement

take these mad ramblings with a Monumental grain of salt. im not to be taken seriously ever

so it all boils down to This

Little

Motherfucker.

the milk carton behind Barnaby's house.

it was added with the last large update, and it Immediately made me lose my mind. it's such a... strange thing to add to the map, which already has Teeny Secrets - along with other choice objects that make me narrow my eyes. but this isn't about them.

The very first thing I thought of when I saw the milk carton was the phrase "no use crying over spilled milk". which, of course, essentially means that there's no point in crying over things you can't change / things already done. There are a couple ways i'm interpreting it with this context

Something is going to happen that Barnaby feels personally responsible for. or is responsible for - either indirectly, or maybe he'll do something terrible. i think it's entirely possible that he might do that possible something for Wally. and again, take this with salt, but Clown has implied through trivia and fun hypotheticals that Barnaby would go to lengths for Wally. and yes, i know. taking evidence from "what would the neighbors do in Among Us" is absurd. IN MY DEFENSE! while the trivia isn't really to be taken seriously, there's always a thought process behind character roles and dynamics and behavior, and that is something that can be (carefully) looked into and applied. like in Among Us, apparently Barnaby would, and i quote, "Barnaby does all the Dirty work if Wally is an Impostor- Anything to help his little Buddy out...". anything to help his little buddy out, huh? like, it's been stated that Barnaby knows things about Wally that no one else does. and it's been mildly implied that he's fairly protective of Wally. and we all know that Wally is getting into some deep shit, and whether he means to or not he's likely gonna fuck everything up for everyone. it's not that big of a leap to speculate that Barnaby might do something drastic/horrible/regret-worthy in Wally's name / for his sake.

2. something terrible is going to happen to Barnaby / directly related to Barnaby, and he's going to be absolutely powerless to do anything about it. though i think that's kind of a given... yeah this section is pretty self explanatory

3. Barnaby is going to go missing. because what used to be on milk cartons? Missing Posters! yes yes i know this one is even more of a reach, since milk cartons didnt have missing posters on them till the 80s, but yk. it's a Thought.

my second thought was "oh ok so when the carton spills, it's curtains for Barnaby." this part of the theory is just me being paranoid that Barnaby is going to wind up kicking the bucket - though i suppose if that were the case, there would be a bucket, not milk. well, if a bucket ever appears, i'm going to start prematurely mourning. Still!

the point is - at some point, that milk is probably gonna spill. it may be just a detail as things get better Worse, or it could be indicative of something terrible happening to / because of Barnaby. the milk spills, Panic Time.

Milk Theory.

#innocuous milk carton: *appears* #me: I Will Now Proceed To Lose My Absolute Shit. Thank You. #ITS AN OMEN TO ME PERSONALLY #im sorry i read too much into the map. OR MAYBE I READ INTO IT JUST ENOUGH! who's to say who's to say... #certainly not me! #its just. such a choice of prop #i mean it makes sense-ish on just a decoration level #milk is pretty common in relation to comedy methinks #but still. it stands out to me. #Im Aware That This Barely Makes Sense And Its Somewhat Ridiculous #Im Not Known for Having Good Or Even Coherent Theories #homebogging #wh speculation #welcome home speculation #alright well this was fun. nobody look at me #the day i stop overanalyzing the map is the day i die #THERE ARE ALREADY SECRETS IN THERE! THE MAP IS PROVING TO BE IMPORTANT! #IM ALLOWED TO READ INTO THINGS! #also riv i havent gotten the chance to sit and listen to it yet </3 Soon though! i Promise!

[rius-cave]

I'm imagining Adam going through a phase where he doesn't want to admit that Lucifer is his boyfriend so he just calls him the jerk who stole his wives without mentioning that they are fucking and it is starting to turn romantic. Lucifer calls him his boyfriend in the same conversation, in part because he likes to see Adam's reaction

I doubt any of them put a label on each other for like... a while. Boyfriend has a weird emotional connotation that neither of them identify with. But then it's not like they're really friends, but then they sleep together sometimes, but it's not like there aren't ANY feelings there, so they're ?????????? who the fuck knows!!!!

#certainly not me! #hazbin hotel #adamsapple #ask

[phoebe-delia]

WIPITTY SNIPPITY

@purplehotmess thanks for the tag, lovely!!

So @basicallyahedgehog also tagged me in Wip Snip stuff, and thanks to you as well, my love. This is dedicated to you, my love, because I wrote this today for one of my two recent Ideas, and you always talk me down when my negative self-talk kicks in, and I doubt I'd have started this WIP without you. (Also tagging anyone who hasn't been tagged yet!)

Harry sat on the work table on the opposite wall, watching as Draco gripped the hammer in his fist and brought it down onto the steel, still glowing from the furnace. Clang clang clang clang it hit the steel over and over again, the material molding to Draco’s ministrations so it narrowed. Harry noticed the flex of his arm, the sweat beading at his brow from the exertion and the heat of the furnace, the way he grunted softly every so often when he gave it a particularly hard whack.

The sound should’ve been abrasive to Harry’s ears. He should’ve taken his leave then, or at the very least dampened the noise with his palms. But instead he sat there, mesmerized at watching Draco work.

After a while, Draco finally stopped and looked up, glaring slightly. “Gawk at me all you please, Sir Potter, but get your arse off my work table.”

#wip snip #MEDIEVAL AU BABY #step 1 of writing a medieval au: learn how to spell medieval lol #KNIGHT!HARRY AND BLACKSMITH!DRACO #I GOT IDEAS!!! #will this fic be for The Series? #Who knows??? #Certainly not me! #Or do I??? #*makes spooky noises* #anyway #drarry

[triflesandparsnips]

The OFMD teaser gifs are finally populating in the gif search, and as such, I intend to Become a Menace

#I'm sure no one will regret this #certainly not me! #our flag means death

[flowerpotmage]

what's funny about taking a while to write between chapters is having to go back and double check where you put someone's bedroom

#did i put miguel in the tower? or did i put him in a different building? who's to say! #certainly not me!

[suaine]

I recently started watching 911 thanks to some very talented old friends putting out some very convincing material and I thought, sure, let's check out some fic... a few weeks later and here I am, obsessed with the firefam and chomping at the bit to pick up writing again. I am absolutely feral about this show in a way I haven't felt in a while but it is hard getting into a fandom that has been going on so long. So. Who should I know? What's the fic, the art, the gifs that should absolutely not be missed? Gimme all your recs and your faves and your guiltiest pleasures.

#911 on fox #firefam #buddie #henren #bathena #madney #are these the tags? #who knows? #certainly not me!

[theputterer]

you know maybe if i just approach the trash fire as if the writing of it is an actual mind out of body experience then maybe it'll actually get somewhere

#who put these words here #certainly not me! #some other pretentious freak #out of the frying pan into the trash fire

[iknow-thisisallinmyhead]

*SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP*

How have I managed to write this much?? How am I almost down with the last chapter? How has it been a year since I started writing this fic???

#the holiday lie #buddie #fanfiction #writing #eddie diaz #wip #buddie 911 #buddie fic #911 abc #evan buck buckely #christmas au fic #christmas romcom au #christmas au #buddie holiday romcom au #holiday buddie fic #holiday romcom au #holiday romcom #100k words its so insane to me #who wrote that??? #certainly not me!

[the-light-of-stars]

Day and Night version of Mr. Goodman! ...or is it Mr. Badman? Who knows!

#certainly not me! #artists on tumblr #my art #character design #original character #OC #art #OCs: Goodman & Badman

[ssshh-im-a-secret]

I’m going to start panic applying for jobs.

Does anyone have any suggestions of where to apply? 

I won’t accept food jobs (like waitressing, bartending, or even fast food), simply because I do not trust myself to not fuck up the food or who it goes to.

#panic #panick #just panicking #panicked #panicking #currently panicking #anxiety causing #hate my job #love my job #which is it #who knows #certainly not me! #they're going to fire me #i know they are #and i'd rather quit than have them fire me #it would look bad on my resume #anyone have any suggestions #any suggestions? #please #pls #im begging

[the-lady-amphitrite]

should have been in bed an hour ago but ya girl managed to finally string together the whole of another scene for ofaoi while listening to the fic's playlist in the span of an hour!! we stay winning folks

#amphi speaks #ofaoi updates #one more and i can post the next chapter!!! finally!!! #will i finish it or grow tired of waiting and post the next chapter of dreams first which has been sitting around complete and edited for - #-- like. three-ish weeks already #who knows! #could be persuaded to post the next chapter of Dreams perhaps #maybe it will help me finish ch11 WHO KNOWS #CERTAINLY NOT ME! #anyway goodnight everyone im Eepy and i have work in the morning :c

[stromblessed]

Mizu, femininity, and fallen sparrows

In my last post about Mizu and Akemi, I feel like I came across as overly critical of Mizu given that Mizu is a woman who - in her own words - has to live as a man in order to go down the path of revenge.

If she is ever discovered to be female by the wrong person, she will not only be unable to complete her quest, but there's a good chance that she'll be arrested or killed.

So it makes complete sense for Mizu to distance herself as much as possible from any behavior that she feels like would make someone question her sex.

I felt so indignant toward Mizu on my first couple watchthroughs for this moment. Why couldn't Mizu bribe the woman and her child's way into the city too? If Mizu is presenting as a man, couldn't she claim to be the woman's escort?

However, this moment makes things pretty clear. Mizu knows all too well the plight of women in her society. She knows it so well that she cannot risk ever finding herself back in their position again. She helps in what little way she can - without drawing attention to herself.

Mizu is not a hero and she is not one to make of herself a martyr - she will not set herself on fire to keep others warm. There's room to argue that Mizu shouldn't prioritize her quest over people's lives, but given the collateral damage Mizu can live with in almost every episode of season 1, Mizu is simply not operating under that kind of morality at this point. ("You don't know what I've done to reach you," Mizu tells Fowler.)

And while I still feel like Mizu has an obvious and established blind spot when it comes to Akemi because of their differences in station, such that Mizu's judgment of Akemi and actions in episode 5 are the result of prejudice rather than the result of Mizu's caution, I also want to establish that Mizu is just as caged as Akemi is, despite her technically having more freedom while living as a man.

Mizu can hide her mixed race identity some of the time, and she can hide her sex almost all of the time, but being able to operate outside of her society's strict rules for women does not mean she cannot see their plight.

It does not mean she doesn't hurt for them.

Back to Mizu and collateral damage, remember that sparrow?

While Mizu is breaking into Boss Hamata's manse, she gets startled by a bird and kills it on reflex. She then cradles it in her hands - much more tenderly than we've seen Mizu treat almost anything up to this point in the season:

She then puts it in its nest, with its unhatched eggs. Almost like she's trying to make the death look natural. Or like an accident.

You see where I'm going with this.

When Mizu kills Kinuyo, Mizu lingers in the moment, holding the body tenderly:

And btw a lot of stuff about this show hit me hard, but this remains the biggest gut punch of them all for me, Mizu holding that poor girl's body close, GOD

When Mizu arranges the "scene of the crime," Kinuyo's body is delicate, birdlike. And Mizu is so shaken afterward that she gets sloppy. She's horrified at this kill to the point that she can't bring herself to take another innocent life - the boy who rats her out.

MIZU'S ONE MOMENT OF SOFTNESS AND MERCY, COMING ON THE HEELS OF HER NEEDING TO KILL A GIRL TO SPARE HER THE WORST FATE THAT THIS RIGID SOCIETY HAS TO OFFER WOMEN, AND TO SPARE A BROTHEL FULL OF INNOCENT WOMEN WHO ARE THE CASTOFFS OF SOCIETY, NEARLY RESULTS IN ALL OF THEIR DEATHS

No wonder Mizu is as stoic and cold as she is.

And no wonder Mizu has no patience for Akemi whatsoever right before the terrible reveal and the fight breaks out:

Speaking of Akemi - guess who else is compared to a bird!

The plumage is more colorful, a bit flashier. But a bird is a bird.

And, uh

Yeah.

I like to think that Mizu killing the sparrow is not only foreshadowing for what she must do to Kinuyo, but is also a representation of the choice she makes on Akemi's behalf. She decides to cage the bird because she believes the bird is "better off." Better off caged than... dead.

But because Mizu doesn't know Akemi or her situation, she of course doesn't realize that the bird is fated to die if it is caged and sent back home.

Mizu is clearly not happy, or pleased, or satisfied by allowing Akemi to be dragged back to her father:

But softness and mercy haven't gotten Mizu anywhere good, recently.

There is so much tragedy layered into Mizu's character, and it includes the things she has to witness and the choices she makes - or believes she has to make - involving women, when she herself can skirt around a lot of what her society throws at women. Although, I do believe that it comes at the cost of a part of Mizu's soul.

After all, I'm gonna be haunted for the rest of this show by Mizu's very first prayer in episode 1:

"LET" her die. Because as Ringo points out, she doesn't "know how" to die.

Kind of like another bird in this show:

#blue eye samurai #mizu #akemi #kinuyo #bes #women are birds okay they are BIRDS #the let me die line is so SCARY AND SAD like a part of Mizu wants death but she cant? she doesnt know how?? excuse you show??? #when all these other delicate birds are dying all around her #akemis character gets more and more gutwrenching upon subsequent rewatches because whenever she says her life is in danger #NO ONE BELIEVES HER - certainly not other women #because shes rich and pampered and that means shes safe and is worrying about nothing right? right????? #and it turns out that all of akemis instincts were right and she was in danger the ENTIRE TIME #also I need to make a post just for kinuyo because I am sad

[kitkatabasis]

I’m a really axiomatic type person, so I have trouble understanding when people are like “my gender is fog apparition” I don’t entirely see the vision but like. I don’t see ultraviolet colors but I know that my cat can see it and I would think you were real fuckin stupid if you said I cant see ultraviolet so it doesn’t exist. Honestly your ultraviolet and infrared genders sound rad and I’m glad y’all are enjoying them.

#my queue is villainous melancholy #d speaks #gender #genderqueer #honestly maybe as I further experiment with gender shit I’ll understand it more #Maybe I won’t! #Who the fuck knows! #Certainly not me!

[exsqueezememacaroni]

.

#ok ok i admit it #maybe i would like mike to angry-fuck me in the ass #just once #wow - who knew this was where this Thursday was going? #certainly not me! #you definitely didnt read this

[time-woods]

doing these drawing pages is fun but they always end up getting more and morequeer

#prismo the wishmaster #scarab the god auditor #prohibitedwish #adventure time #fionna and cake #i will never recover from the one person who called me out for drawing prismo like im obviously in love with him #and its clear that a love affair was involved. i will never recover #because.they are most certainly right

[suiker]

hey guys we’re almost to 0 followers thank you so much everyone

#webbed site #i’m pretty sure this is to do with all the bots that follow me then i block #so maybe it fucks up whatever they use to count foloweers #i have no idea i’m no programmer #but certainly a webbed site moment