Mine
[Part 1] Dean lets Cas in when his vessel is badly injured.
“Cas, yes! I’m saying yes!” Dean’s voice rose frantically as he held the fading Angel in his arms.
“Dean, you don’t-“
“I do!” his eyes were practically shaking as they darted from his tattered body to the hollow looking gaze fixed upon him.
“Dean-“
“Please, Cas!” a tear dropped down his cheek and the Angel’s head nodded just barely before the white-blue light of Cas’ grace was all Dean could see.
He blinked rapidly until his vision cleared enough to take in the now lifeless form in his arms, panic setting in at the sight of him until he felt it… a wave of comfort so familiar he almost didn’t have to ask.
“…Cas?”
Yes, Dean. I’m here.
“But I’m in control…” he noticed, flexing his fingers out in front of him.
I have no desire to control you, I’m just here.
“And you’re okay?” the hunter asked with such sincerity that it took Cas aback.
Dean’s concern was overwhelming and the Angel found himself reaching out, though he didn’t know with what.
“What was that?” Dean shook the goosebumps from his skin.
You felt that?
“Yeah, felt like…” Dean’s eyes scanned, unable to put a word to it.
This?
“Yeah, what are you doing?”
I think my grace is…
“Cas,” Dean stiffened, his senses on fire.
I think my grace is interacting with your soul.
Cas’ words blurted quickly within the hunter’s mind.
Are you okay? I didn’t mean to-
“I’m fine, just…”
Just… what?
The Angel’s voice softened.
“Nothing…” he wiped the back of his neck to flatten the hairs standing on end there.
…Dean?
“Drop it, Cas,” the hunter’s other fist clenched at his side.
His tone was cutting and after a moment, the hunter could practically taste Cas’ hurt, embarrassment, and shame, and it tasted bitter. And familiar.
Then a flutter of heat. A sort of excited but terrifying hope spread through them before Cas could guard himself.
It hit Dean like a truck.
“You can see everything…” his face flushed, he imagined that was a group effort, “Everything I think and feel…”
So can you…
“God, what was I thinking!” Dean stood and began to pace until a sharp stab of guilt hit him, “No, Cas, I didn’t mean that… I’m… there are things…” the hunter ran a hand through his hair and Cas’ grace did that thing again causing a shiver to run down his spine, “Cas, please tell me there’s a way to stop that!”
I’m sorry, Dean… I could hide away in a safe space like that bar you had or the bunker when Lucifer was-
“You mean lock you up?” Dean cut him off, “No, out of the question…”
I’d understand-
“You don’t have to ‘cause it’s not happening,” there was a finality to the words as they left the hunter’s lips.
Okay…
“We’re not locking you up to save me from embarrassment,” Dean huffed.
But what could you be embarrassed of?
The immediate reaction slipped by even as Dean tried his best to stop it.
Just a strong feeling of yearning and a flash of blue eyes.
Dean, I…
“We need to figure out what to do about him,” Dean deflected, crouching next to a form that now looked far more Jimmy than Castiel.
It’s possible I could heal it over time… My grace is replenishing quickly since I…
Cas decided to be bold, reaching out again to feel the jolt and the flood of warmth that Dean’s soul provided but this time, it was like Dean was reaching back.
“Cas…” the hunter’s head lulled back.
And that only seemed to encourage the seraph currently sharing his psyche.
He weaved his grace even more with the very essence of the man he occupied, pulling a sigh from their body’s lungs.
“Cas, what are we doing?” Dean finally found his voice but it was weak.
I don’t know… Should I stop?
“I don’t know,” Dean grunted frustratedly, “This is a lot, man… and you’re still lying in front of us and bleeding on the floor!”
Of course… We should move my vessel to another room for safe keeping until it is healed.
“Okay,” Dean hesitated.
I can take over if you’d rather not-
“No,” the hunter shook his head before dropping down to lift him, “I’ve got you…”
He walked toward the hallway before Cas broke the silence.
Take it to the dungeon… out of the way…
He nodded but didn’t speak.
Something bothered you just now… Something I said.
“This is you…” Dean lowered the body into the cot in the corner, “You’re not an ‘it’.”
A strong affection flared through them, Cas supposed from both sides, and Dean cleared his throat.
“Now what?” his voice came out softer than intended.
You’re hungry…
“Hm?” Dean considered this, “Yeah, I am…”
You should eat.
“Easy enough…” Dean clapped his hands together on his way toward the kitchen, “What do we want?”
We?
“You’ll be eating too so I figured we should both have a say…” Dean rubbed the back of his neck, but Cas felt it as if he were the one receiving comfort.
A flash of skin on skin appeared in his mind, causing Dean to inhale sharply. It was a quick thought but unmistakable.
“Cas… What was that?“ Dean’s voice was low as the image of a door shutting in his mind left everything quiet and empty, “Cas.”
Nothing.
“Did you just shut yourself away?”
Still nothing.
“Cas!” he barked angrily before dropping his arms to his side, “Real mature, man!”
He turned to the refrigerator and flung it open.
“Your loss…” he grumbled, “I’m gonna eat something delicious…”
Hours passed that way, and Dean was propped up on his bed watching tv when the Angel decided to make himself known again.
It started with a warmth, almost too hot. Embarrassment, Dean realized, and the hunter unexpectedly found himself with a smirk that turned into a grin.
“There he is,” he quipped to cover, though he knew it was useless trying to hide anything in their current state.
Hello, Dean.
“Wondered if you were coming back,” Cas’ nervousness made Dean’s voice shake, at least that’s what he was choosing to believe.
I feel like I should explain-
“Yeah, I’d say you should,” Dean interrupted, “Where you been?”
I needed space. I was… worked up.
“Worked up?” Dean imagined Cas’ face with the blush he could feel on his own, “Like… worked up-worked up?”
As if picturing him opening up a floodgate, Dean’s imagination suddenly produced an image of the Angel performing a very private and personal act.
Dean…
“Don’t…” he looked horrified as it passed, clenching a fist tightly in his lap to ground himself.
He wanted nothing more than to run away, especially when his sharp tone flooded him with Cas’ feelings of hurt and dejection.
Of course…
Guilt was next. That, he would imagine, was coming from him and not the Angel.
“Cas, please…” his voice was weaker than he’d ever live down, and the wave of anxiety was almost overwhelming.
He ran a hand through his hair as fragments of thoughts invaded their mind.
I’m sorry, Dean. I didn’t mean to cause you distress.
Moments passed and then a pressure of something tugged at Dean in his prolonged silence.
A warmth ran through him again but this time more comforting and soft, and a sigh released itself from somewhere deep within.
I can’t hide from you without shutting myself away, Dean, and you’ve expressed a reluctance to do that. So my thoughts and feelings are bound to come through sometimes. I apologize that I can’t stop that… not without-
“Caging yourself.”
Hardly.
“Basically!“ the hunter shot back before taking a calming breath, “Cas… I don’t want you gone… okay? I just… need to get used to this.”
I understand…
Silence fell heavily as Dean picked up on the Angel’s uncertainty.
“You’re worried…” Dean remarked softly.
I trust you with anything, Dean, but you might not like what you see and that scares me…
“What would I see?” his voice was barely a whisper.
“Dean? Cas?” Sam’s voice carried down the hallway.
“Shit…” Dean’s pulse spiked.
“Dean?“ Sam tried again when he received no response.
“In here,” the older of the brothers called half-heartedly before he could worry the other.
Are you okay?
The small voice was almost low enough to be mistaken for a passing thought of his own, but Dean knew it was Cas.
“Yeah,” he sighed in response as Sam was rounding the doorway.
The younger of the two glanced around with a raised brow, “Yeah?“
“Sorry, talking to myself…” Dean brushed it off, “How’d the case go?”
“Basic salt and burn, but we’re beat so Mom’s gonna stay the night… We got burgers and milkshakes…” his brow furrowed, “Where’s Cas?”
“Sammy, something happened…” Dean’s fist unclenched and gripped again, “Um… Cas and I went to a bar to blow off some steam and I got pretty trashed…” the guilt and self-hatred began to creep up in spite of Dean’s attempt to tamp them down, “Thought I was on to a demon, turned out to be some ancient Demigod with a grudge. Important part is Cas was hurt. Bad. And it was my fault.”
A wave of comfort and reassurance flooded Dean, and he found himself touching his heart absentmindedly.
He cleared his throat and let the hand fall slack at his side.
“What did you do, Dean?” Sam’s voice was flat and dread-filled.
“I said yes…” he held Sam’s gaze as his eyes went from confusion to realization.
“Cas is-”
“Here,” a deeper voice spoke from Dean’s mouth.
“Shit,” Dean’s voice returned to normal again and he looked surprised, “That was new.”
Sorry… I shouldn’t have just… I’m sorry.
“S’okay, just warn a guy first,” Dean smirked to himself before looking back up to his brother again.
He froze under the shocked bemusement on the other man’s face and felt his expression drop.
“What?” he bristled defensively.
“You said yes to Cas…” Sam repeated dumbly, lacking any other response at that moment.
“Of course I did,” Dean steeled himself, and the conviction of his statement produced a fluttering feeling that he’s fairly certain came from Cas.
It was almost like getting butterflies, and the hunter found this far more fascinating than he should allow himself to.
“Yeah…” Sam took a deep breath, “Okay, so what’s the plan?”
“Cas needs to regain his strength and heal his vessel. So, in the meantime, we’re a package deal,” Dean replied, wincing at his own words but trying to play it off anyway, “I uh… maybe we could leave Mom in the dark on this one?”
Dean felt bad saying it, both for hiding things from his mother but also for treating Cas like something that needed to be hidden. Yet, he still didn’t think he could bring his voice to say the words to her.
It’s alright, Dean. I understand.
“It’s not,” he replied darkly.
“Can’t be talking to yourself or she’s gonna have questions,” Sam’s lips turned up at the side and Dean gave him a quick look.
You don’t have to speak out loud for me to hear you.
“Wait, really?” Dean’s head tilted.
Then silently, he thought to himself, I can just think the words…
And I’ll hear them, Cas responded within his mind.
A fuzziness that had been persisting within him since earlier that day intensified, and Dean was starting to think it was a feeling of his own making.
“Still with me?” Sam waved a hand in front of him.
“Huh? Sorry, yeah…” he stood and ran a hand down his torso to flatten his shirt.
It flared something within his chest and he smirked to himself.
It was becoming a little too enjoyable to find what set Cas off, a thought that received him a chiding look from the Angel within.
He’s not sure how he knew, but he could practically see the expression.
I wasn’t expecting you to have… that reaction.
“Yeah, me neither,” he let out on a manic laugh as they walked down the hall.
Sam turned to him with a strange look and he held out his arms in defense.
“Right- inside voices,” Dean nodded before they could round the corner.
“Hey, I was about to come looking for you,” she smiled softly, having set the table for four.
Dean’s eyes fell immediately onto the extra spot with a soft appreciation.
“Where’s Cas?” Mary looked over their shoulders in search.
“He had to go take care of something-“
“Cas is here,” Dean spoke before he could stop himself as Cas’ surprise overtook his mind, and again, found his hand hovering over his heart, “His, uh.. his vessel was compromised so he’s… he’s…”
He felt his conviction fizzle out all at once.
“…In there?” Mary filled in uncertainly.
He nodded and Sam just held his arms out in frustration at the sudden change in tactic.
“Okay,” she nodded, clearly thrown off but doing her best to keep her demeanor calm, “Tell him I’m glad he’s okay.”
Dean’s lip tugged upward on one side in fondness before his eyes rose again.
“He heard you.”
“Well, I don’t know about you guys but I’m starving,” Sam brushed by to take a seat at the table.
“So, tell me about this ghost,” Dean motioned for Mary and himself to take a seat.
“Your story sounds a lot more interesting,” she smirked as she sank onto one of the stools around the table across from Sam.
“Yeah, thinking I’ve had enough drama for the day…” Dean laughed, “Could use a little boring.”
———————
@spuffy-destiel @destieliscanon5nov
A/N: Sorry I’ve been away! Training for a new job, but here’s a little something new I was working on!
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