#cannot fucking believe the DEI thing

[grison-in-space]

Via a conversation on Metafilter about the state of Florida's decision to crush its public institutions, a person I think is particularly wise left a comment about the state of the legislature on higher education in Wisconsin.

The situation in Florida is atrocious, but it's important to be aware of how widespread this movement on the part of MAGA politicians to ban all academic and support programs related to gender, race/ethnicity, and sexuality is. I'm a professor in the Wisconsin state university system, where, in addition to my regular fulltime work in my home department I direct the LGBTQ+ Studies Program (a more-than-halftime job I have done for many years in return for zero additional salary, or summer funds, or course buyout, or any other compensation...).

This summer, the Wisconsin state legislature, gerrymandered into permanent Republican control, voted to ban all DEI programs in the state university system, and cut $32 million from the university budget, which it stated was amount of "taxpayer money being wasted on divisive indoctrination efforts" (to paraphrase Assembly Speaker Robin Vos). This comes after years of successive budget cuts and a ten-year tuition freeze and years of faculty and staff taking pay cuts in the form of "furloughs" through which we were expected to just keep working. The situation is now somewhat improved in that Gov. Tony Evers, a Democrat, vetoed the DEI ban, but he cannot restore the funding. Anyway: a few days after the legislative vote to ban DEI , I was giving a talk about the range of state bills attacking trans youth and adults, and there was a Democratic state legislator on the panel. When we were introducing ourselves and I told her I directed the LGBTQ+ Studies Program, she said, "Oh, but that's no longer legal. Well, unless Evers vetoes the ban; we'll see."

After doing some blinking, I responded by explaining the difference between DEI programs and academic programs. DEI programs provide student support services, which is deemed administrative work, in contrast to academic programs. The LGBTQ+ Resource Center and the LGBTQ+ Studies Program at my university are both vital and important. But the resource center organizes support groups and social activities for students, while the academic program teaches classes and sponsors academic talks. Academic programs are not part of the DEI system--and the very same legislature that voted for the DEI ban had spent years prior threatening sanctions against students and faculty for supposedly not sufficiently respecting the absolute value of free speech in academia. Legislators presented instructors as censorious ideologues, students as snowflakes in love with a victim narrative, and the legislature as the champion of teaching and discussing all ideas freely.

The image of DEI programs presented by Republican legislators is some kind of kink fantasy, in which cis straight white men are forced to prostrate themselves, declare themselves to be bad and deserving of punishment, and lick the boots of students who are trans and queer, of color and feminist. The reality is that university DEI programs are providing mental health services and tutoring and social support to college students, at a time when their levels of mental health challenges are very high. They have zero to do with the kink humiliation fantasy, they really are about inclusion, and it is ludicrous and cruel to cut social support to marginalized college students.

But even if the state ban were not vetoed, a DEI ban does not dismantle programs like Gender Studies or African and African Diaspora Studies or LGBTQ+ Studies, because they are academic programs, I explained to the Democratic legislator. But from her response, it was clear that not only did Republican Wisconsin legislators think they'd banned all academic programs examining race/ethnicity, gender, sexuality, and who knows what else (disability studies? Jewish studies and Islamic studies?), but that the Democratic legislators seemed to believe so as well.

The flip from "we are the party of free speech!" to "we are the party that bans books and entire academic disciplines!" happened with dizzying speed. But take it from me as a trans person--these legislative attacks can burst across the country in the space of months, shifting the landscape radically. The thing about the MAGA movement is that it is made up of people who believe that the situation is desperate, the American project is on the verge of failure, and the time has come to destroy or be destroyed. Most Americans, including non-MAGA Republicans, want to see the culture war cool down and Americans get along, but MAGA-sorts want it to go hot. And I have to admit some despair about what to do about this, because of the unpersuadability of this group. Take a look at Question 39 from this CBS/YouGov poll of Iowa voters last week, and what percentage of Republican voters there believe they are being lied to by various parties. The percentage of MAGA voters who said they said they believed they were being told the truth by Trump was 71%, in comparison to 63% for friends and family, 56% for conservative news sources, and 42% for religious leaders. Only 32% of Iowa Republicans generally believed they were told the truth by medical scientists. (The figures for Joe Biden and "liberal media" were 10% and 8% respectively.)

It is hard to persuade people with facts and logic and calls for empathy when they think you are a liar attacking their great leader with whom 99% say they identify. What we have to do is persuade others to stand up. And I don't want to be doomy, but my experience with resisting transphobic legislation and action causes me a lot of concern. It's not just "the face-eating leopards won't eat my face" problem. The fact is, frankly, that a lot of institutions and people are craven. This past year I was in a working group with medical and social scientists advising the HHS about creating guidelines for research with intersex and transgender populations, and then Libs of TikTok spread lies about hospitals supposedly performing "sex changes" on little kids, and several children's hospitals received bomb threats--and suddenly most of the medical researchers working with trans youth were pulled from the working group by the hospitals they were affiliated with. Hospital administrators are shutting down research on trans youth and clinics serving trans youth, rather than having the backs of threatened doctors and patients, handing a victory to the face-eating leopards who growled at them.

My conclusion is that we need to focus energy on teaching people who have not dealt with serious bullying before how to stand up to bullies. For people like concerned parents considering attending school board meetings to oppose book bans, we could teach basic mutual aid strategies, like forming a supportive group to attend together. But what we are to do about people like college administrators and corporate executives who would like to do the right thing for students and employees, but not as much as they'd like to avoid offending a wealthy donor or receiving negative conservative media attention. . . that's a big question to me.

I have left my own longer comment in the wider thread.

(If you also like longform, thoughtful text conversation, this is my regular plug for Metafilter as a platform. If you DM me an email address, I can send you an invitation link for a free account.)

#metafilter #education #public education #colleges #legislators #cannot fucking believe the DEI thing #the thing is I have collaborated with this person in the past and he is a deeply sensible human being #so if he says this is what the legislators think #I believe him

[johaerys-writes]

Hello! I hope you're having a better week than the last. A WIP Wednesday, if you're okay? You can skip this ask so plz no pressure! Have a nice day and I luv u❤️

Hey anon!! This week has so far been slightly better than the last, and for that I am SO grateful lol. I've started working on yet another disasters!patrochilles one shot (shocking absolutely no one) which is basically The Break UpTM, from Achilles' POV:

"He did what?"

Dei is standing in front of him, fists on her hips, her dark eyes flashing. Achilles shakes his head, sniffling into his tissue.

"I cannot believe it. This is— This is just— the fucking nerve of him!" She angrily flips her sleek black hair over her shoulder and paces the living room, her mouth twisted in fury. "After all this time— all the chances you've given him!"

"I know," Achilles laments, and he can feel the tears coming again. He doesn't even bother dabbing at his eyes, letting them flow down his cheeks instead. There's no stopping them now; the wave of emotion that climbs up to his throat is thick and hot and all consuming, choking him. It’s pain and loss and heartbreak and frustration, all wrapped up in one, and he can’t unravel it.

The previous night, when Patroclus pulled him and held him close, is still fresh, searingly bright in his mind. He can still feel Patroclus’s hands on him, taste him on his lips; all those years and years of pent up longing and hoping and praying finally finding their release. And then he remembers how Patroclus had looked at him that morning, how he’d pushed him away without a second thought, and he wants to start screaming and never stop.

"What did he say to you? Tell me again, word for word."

"That he doesn’t know if we should do it again," Achilles sobs. "That it's not right, not… proper. That friends aren't supposed to do things like that, aren't supposed to—to sleep together."

"Friends, my ass. He's been throwing himself at you since you were fifteen!"

More like the other way around, Achilles thinks to himself, but he doesn’t have the heart to correct her. He takes a shaky, stuttered breath. "Then— then I asked him why he kissed me last night, why he let it all happen if he didn't think it was right."

"What did he say?"

"He didn't know-w-w," Achilles bleats pathetically, burying his face in the fistful of tissues he grabs from the box.

Dei huffs and shakes her head. "The fucking nerve of him!" she repeats, more emphatically than before. She throws her hands up and starts pacing the living room again, muttering and cursing to herself.

Rhea brings him a glass of water as Dei keeps ranting and talking with her hands. Achilles shakes his head at the water; he can’t drink anything, he can’t eat anything, so tight is the knot in his throat.

"Are you sure that's what he meant?" Rhea asks. "Maybe there's something else going on with him, maybe… you misunderstood him."

"There's nothing to misunderstand," he tells her. "He just— doesn’t want me. That's all."

"And that’s his loss. Okay?" Dei stops pacing to come sit next to him. She strokes his hair and gives him a new tissue from the box. "He doesn’t deserve you, sweetie. You're so much better than him."

Achilles shakes his head. He knows Dei means well, that she only wants to comfort him, but the notion is alien to him. How can Achilles be better than Patroclus, how can Patroclus be worse than him, when they've always been the same? One heart, one mind? He doesn’t know if there are words he could say to make Dei understand.

He shivers, his chest run through by a bout of fresh pain. He doesn’t know what to do with himself. He wants to scream, and he wants to wail, and he wants to tear his hair out by the roots; he wants to curl up in a ball and crawl under the covers and never again come out. He wants to die. He simply wants to stop existing.

"It's over," he sobs on Dei's shoulder while Rhea holds his hand. "It's all over."

"Now, now," Rhea coos, patting his back. They both comfort him copiously as he empties their tissue box, and then some.

~~

Thank you so much for this ask!! I hope you're having a good week too 💙💙💙

#it's basically Achilles being as dramatic as humanly possible #and making a bunch of bad decisions #that's it that's the fic #patrochilles #achilles #the song of achilles #patroclus #tsoa #hades game

[nonbinaryeye]

The concept of Innocence and religion in the world of Disco Elysium is so fascinating and surreal and I would love to learn more about it.

They had six Innocences in the history of Occident. And Innocence is international political figure but also they are religious figure in a sense as well and they are also a personification of the History. Their rule is absolute to the sense that their decisions and orders are taken as just announcements of what will happen, the inevitabilities.

The concept is so fascinating and questionable. Oh and the processes of electing one is even more fascinating and fucked up. Who is this Founding "Holy" Party? We unfortunately know so little about them. They are said to be international organisation but what kind? Are we supposed to imagine peaceful monks looking for their next incarnation of Innocence to follow or more of a "behind the curtain secret society running the world" kind of organisation? How could there not be political agenda in their establishment of the concept of Innocence? How could there not be political agenda whenever they decide to elevate new Innocence? And how international and internationally accepted they really are?

And if we wanted to kind of draw some parallels for sake of better understanding... How should we interpret the Innocence? At first they appear to be Saints of the kind. But they are voted and have basically unlimited powers so they are kind of Pope if the entire world was Christian and we all agreed Pope was also the Holy Roman Emperor and also literally anyone could be picked.

Which leads to the question that maybe should have been asked first and that being: what even is a religion like in Disco Elysium? Because they do have concept of a God. And said concept of God is said to be introduced by the first Innocence The Perikarnassian. But also God really does not matter, the religion itself is not really about Them, They don't even have churches, the churches are build for Innocence. But also people seems to be using phrases like "oh, God..." and there even is a hint in God being considered Entity to pray to (though as far as I remember there's only Kim's "God, please..." during the Tribunal but it still counts).

So really it's like if we all believed in God but also ignored Them in favour of Jesus, except Jesus lived only three hundred years ago and was a tyrant and mass murderer and very much human and yet we build him all the churches but also these days are churches nor relevant anymore. (Also if we agree Dolores Dei is Jesus what does it make the first Innocence? Could we consider Perikarnassian maybe Moses then?)

And after reading this all it really sounds like the whole concept of Innocence is a bit fucked up. However so is the entire world of Disco Elysium because the most important thing was not really mentioned yet. Because there are supernatural unexplainable powers in the world. There is the Pale, there are mysterious Cryptids, there are Ghosts and Harry can sometimes read minds and talk to inanimate objects and to the city herself.

So what do we know maybe lungs of Dolores Dei really did glow. And so maybe there was something special about all the others too. And maybe the Founding Party has some means to recognise this and there is nothing wrong with some people being given that much power because there are some unexplainable forces which we cannot comprehend and Innocence just really do what they are supposed to and themselves are puppets of some power to which they are connected.

Or not and the concept is really as fucked up as it seems. Just some thoughts. (And I can have even more of them... Including ones regarding Harry being the next Innocence )

#I have much more to say about religion and Innocence but this post is getting a bit long so I'll continue later #disco elysium #disco elysium meta #disco elysium analysis #disco elysium innocence #dolores dei #mEye post

[whatbigotspost]

God I just feel exhausted today by encountering stuff that's just wrong by people who think they are setting the record straight.

As I've mentioned on and off over the years, I work at a nonprofit that primarily serves girls. We've literally always had the most inclusive approach by what that means, basically, "if you want to be served, we want to work with you."

Lately, our staff has gotten tied up in overly focusing on labels and there's a not insubstantial portion of the group who truly, fully believe that people cannot identify with BOTH being girls and ALSO being nonbinary and it's driving me up the fucking wall. Like, they really are thinking, "there's no longer TWO BOXES for gender there are THREE BOXES" and they're patting themselves on the back, whereas I am begging everyone to just burn the fucking boxes. Abolish boxes. Be box free. Anyway, today I heard it said AGAIN that someone cannot be both a woman AND also be something outside of womanness too, and I want to set my hair on fire in protest because I. am. literally. the. person. they. say. doesn't. exist. But they're apparently more interested in being "right" based of some 101 DEI training they went to than they are listening to people who live outside the binary.

And then there's the Thinx post of mine that blew up.

Literally from the moment I published the first version of the post, I regretted sampling the info from tweets that are inflammatory and scare style in tone. The tweets I chose were where I genuinely for the first time learned of the situation and as I always do, I gave credit to where I learned the thing. Some of the early comments I got rightfully pointed out how the original material implies that people are currently being harmed, physically, by the toxic materials in Thinx, when really the case is about the false advertising claims. I should have better clarified that there are not reports of Thinx damaging anyone's body……….yet, from the get-go. THAT SAID, the original tweets I posted in no way claim that anyone was harmed... but they DO SAY that if you think you may be harmed, don't take the class action settlement money so that you can sue them later if you need to. Which is still good advice, in my view.

What I don't regret at all was raising the alarm that Thinx doesn't have your best interests in mind as much as you may assume from their advertising and brand. I stand firm in my unshakeable belief that people have a right to know what's in the materials they put up close to their fucking genitals and that companies will happily lie to you about that kind of thing if it drives their profits. Now that folks are calling that post "blatant misinformation" I gotta just say for a moment: No. It's not. Read it again. While it is inflammatory, there is not actually ANY false information in that post. The closest it gets is by encouraging people to stop wearing their Thinx, which is an opinion that OP held, based on real information the case reveals. Other than that is says: Thinx has materials in it that are toxic that they previously did not reveal. IF you think you've been harmed, don't take the settlement money.

That's it. So YEAH feeling quite a bit frazzled today by bumping into some self-righteous views of "truth" that are actually false in and of themselves so just had to vent that shit.

Turning off reblogging on this because I only feel like sending this complaint to my followers 😂 But I always appreciate a ❤ as a sign of support for my whiny rants!

[transkenobis]

experiencing thoughts about predestination and total depravity and salvation and Harrier Fucking Du Bois. how calvinist thought around predestination is the double-sided coin of “you are fundamentally evil and cannot save yourself, you need god to change your heart” and “you are Chosen and Special because god decided to save you” and how harry does both.

i think there’s a large part of him that believes that he is fundamentally flawed, fundamentally unable to save himself and change the course of his life and atone for his own actions, he’s bad once so he’s bad forever, self-fulfilling prophecy, et cetera. and so he turns the people he loves into these savior figures where he expects them to pull him out of these awful circumstances that he has created for himself. he expects them to fix him. to the extent that jean leaving him to his own devices in martinaise is framed as jean finally pulling the plug and not taking responsibility for harry’s actions anymore. it’s both implied and stated outright that jean has spent the last few years picking up harry’s mess for him - he’s fulfilling harry’s responsibilities within the rcm, he’s trying to save face for harry within c-wing. and the second he and the rest of the mcu are gone, harry literally parties so hard he gives himself retrograde amnesia (with the implication that he was trying to commit suicide). 

and i know everyone says this, but the religious imagery gets so fucking literal with kim, where harry pretty much explicitly idolizes him and wants him to save him. so many people (myself included) joke about reloading saves because you picked an option that disappointed him - the game sort of leads a lot of people to rely on his approval to “make the right choices,” whether or not the choices that kim approves of are the morally correct ones. 

(another interesting addition here is that kim repeatedly refuses to take on a savior role for harry - he is not going to be the one to pull him out of his mess. he’ll intervene if your “personal matters” are interfering with the case, but beyond that, he’s very clear that he Is Not Going To Make An Effort To Fix You. you can ruin your life however you please, and by and large, he will just stand there and side-eye you, nothing more or less.)

and on the other side of things, harry has this weird relationship with moralism where (because he’s projecting his ex onto a religious figure) he seems to think that he’s got this profound connection with dolores dei and moralism and the innocentic system? in the sense that he has a personal relationship with a thematically and literally impersonal god. dolores dei is dead - she is not speaking to him. the moralintern and the coalition are overseas governments that have imposed their rule onto revachol - they do not care about harry as a person. even the portrait for the radio personnel on the coalition warship archer is distant - there is only the suggestion of a face, of its features, surrounded by shapes. and yet harry creates this personal connection with the idea of dolores dei, where she has Chosen him, he’s special, he’s part of an imagined group of the “spiritual elect,” he cannot lose that election and he is special and chosen Forever. 

but, by the same token, it’s now his responsibility to save martinaise, to save revachol, to save the world. the bloated corpse of a drunk gets a line where he says that harry personally failed all 4.6 billion people on elysium. shivers/la revacholière tells him that he can save them and the city, he can keep them alive, they need him. i doubt that it’s a coincidence that that the scene happens in a church.

it’s just wild to me because this whole line of thinking is so deeply protestant, so deeply calvinist, despite all of the catholic-and/or-orthodox-type set dressing in the church in martinaise. there’s the contradictory push-and-pull between the idea that “all humans are totally depraved, you do not have control over your sinful nature, you cannot become good by yourself” and the idea that “you are personally held responsible for your failures if you don’t choose to accept christ as your savior, and so you are doomed to an eternity of torment.” it’s total depravity and unconditional election. which is admittedly not what i was expecting when i went into disco elysium. but basically i think we can take the christian imagery and symbolism about fifteen steps further.

#matt speaks #de #i dont think the romans class my parents made me go to was an entirely lost cause. because it enabled me to write this #anyways apologies for the baptist upbringing do you guys still think im normal #christianity mention #suicide mention #ask to tag #de meta

[brooklynislandgirl]

3. Would you ever fuck someone in exchange for something? Money, business deal, gifts, etc? What’s your price? {Swamp Sharklette}

A Little Light/A Little Dark || Accepting

Immediate knee-jerk reaction is to say no. To be so indignant that there would come the resounding sting of flesh striking flesh at the velocity of a gunshot. Or at the very least and less harmful a drink thrown in a face before she rises like a Tsunami wave and marches out with her dignity intact. Several factors though go a long way from stopping that.

First is that this is not a public venue. It's the formal dining room of their home, where in Beth and Anakin are putting together survival packages for the up-coming hurricane season. Most of the items were gathered donations from the kinds of friends that have no idea what they're actually giving to; people up north that Beth has been immensely popular with even if she never really fit in amongst them. Supplemented by church organisations, local folk, and literally anywhere else that Beth could find help. Even if some of those were at best questionable, and at worst? Evil. Well, from a human stand-point. She was very careful not to take anything from Pentex, or its millions of subsidiaries. She wouldn't accept help, not even in the form of money, from places like O'Tooley's, or Pangloss Cosmetics, or Shenzhen Tianming, no matter what kind of electronics and NOAA weather radios they offered. Whenever he asks about those, she only shakes her head and tells him 'mebbe laddah'. But that later never comes. As if she through ignorance she can keep him safe, though for how long is the question that she likewise puts off. Spread out on every available surface at things like flashlights with extra batteries, whistles to signal for help, personal hygiene items, can openers, nonperishable, water tight food stuffs {canned goods that didn't require heating, and MREs}, potable water, baby formula and diapers, and even books and games for children. All being meticulously sorted into storage containers and backpacks.

The work is surprisingly sweltering and even the central air is having a hard time moving the oppressive wet-blanket heat. No matter how high up and in a bun she pins her hair, no matter how thin the bandeau and sarong she's wearing are, no matter how comfortable the board shorts and no shirt Anakin is wearing, it feels like a shallow layer of sweat covers...everything.

It's that fact that puts a sour look on her face as she reaches up to mop her brow with the inside of one arm and leaves the question lingering between them.

The second reason is... It's rare that his use of that one particular word offends her, she's heard it more times than she can count with a rather shocking frequency growing up and again from her brothers. And there's certain ways that Anakin uses it in certain context that gets under her skin in the worst ways, turning everything in its wake to lava. He uses it to great effect sometimes and it almost has become a playful game between them. But he's not talking about love making, not now, at least. He uses the vulgarity to imply the exact opposite of that. Carnality without emotion; a disconnect from the heart, the soul, the brain that leaves the body an empty shell of a vessel to be filled...or to fill someone else...with the same abject nothingness. She knows the implication hurts him as much as it would her because they are very much alike in regards to physical forms expressing love. And lastly, because while he doesn't often talk about it and she can't bear to really ask because she knows even the slightest facial expression will burrow its way into her and she will rage like one of her changing cousins until nothing is left when he answers truthfully, as he always does. She knows he has been abused. She knows he's been mistreated. She knows that he has, at least before moving into the house, and maybe after...it's not her place to pry... participated in some kind of sex-work. The only difference she treats him with than she would the sex workers back in New York? It's plain to anyone with the ability to see, who possesses a single ounce of empathy, that Beth loves him. And that love is without condition or reservation.

She stretches. Pushes away from the table and pads barefoot toward the kitchen, circumnavigating the fortress they've built up around them with a preternatural grace. A flutter of fingers in the air is all the invitation she offers for him to follow her.

The door of the fridge groans in protest of being opened, sighing before letting a floor of cold air waft over her and for a moment she closes her eyes and takes pleasure at the rush of chill. All too soon though she reaches in and pulls out an icy pitcher of cold water that immediately clouds over from condensation so it looks like a foggy morning with slices of lemon floating near the top, slivers of sunlight. She's half tempted to hold it to her chest until it becomes as tepid as possible. Let Anakin fend for himself with the other pitcher in there, the ubiquitous Sweet Tea that she made by directions left by the housekeeper. Unfortunately, it could pull double-duty as hummingbird nectar.

She sets it down on the counter. Retrieves two glasses and fills one up. The other is left beside the lemon water with the idea that he should hydrate since she isn't getting him into the pool without extreme measures, and she doesn't feel like forcing him to do anything. She lifts the glass to her lips and indelicately gulps down half of the contents before she presses the wet, cold glass to her brow. Her eyes shut the too bright world away. They cut off the pallor of Anakin's slight chest, the way the sheen catches the light in splashes of dampness. Not unlike the occasional bead of sweat that runs like an errant fingertip down her spine. And she's stalled as long as she can in answering him. She doesn't like to keep him waiting, a long enough pause can come across in the worst ways; at best it implies that he is undeserving of an answer, which isn't true in the least, and at worst, whatever she might say would come across as the softest kind of lie, the sin of selective omission.

"Growin' up...I t'ink I was near enough fifteen or sixteen... before I really had any curiosity about sex, an' you know dat already, so not shockin' dere. Dat curiosity nevah bloomed beyond a lil self-exploration before it was disregard as...mos'ly unimportant t' me. Of course, nevah gonna lie an' say dere was no ah..." She searches for the right word, the right explanation and comes up with exactly none.

"Experimentation wi' a receptive partner, but even dat result same-same f' me as on my own. I t'ink it no was a matter of attraction, oddah person was one of da few times I did feel da kine. Uhm...desirous...for lack of mo' beddah word. Now, ovah da years I been on da fringes of various covens wi' da Verbena. Small an' big an' in between...an' as ya know... Beltane one of our most sacred rites. An' I keep meanin' t' take ya proper, an' introduce ya...but..." But? ...But there's a part of her that is neither properly territorial or jealous but that IS adamant about taking Anakin before a gathering of priestesses and druids, of bards and fairly mediocre witches. The Verbena are a myriad of theologies and philosophies banded together to uphold their paradigm. They hold the Seat of Life on the Council of Nine, and have since the Council was formed, before the betrayal of the first Cabal. They are her friends, her peers, her sisters and brothers in a hanai sort of way. But she doesn't want to share him, not yet. Maybe once she's taught him a little more, maybe once she's sure he can survive the pit of flesh, politics, and chaos that mage gatherings can be.

"Not jus' yet. You might catch chill." She half laughs at her own little joke but it dies out almost before it ever stood a chance of surviving.

"I was offer da chance t' play da Maiden aspect of da Goddess in da Great Rite, an' still get aks ow and again. An' it nevah appeal to me even wine-soaked an' head stuffed wi' sacred incense. I nevah go out into da fields or under da trees eiddah, for more intimate an' less ritual...couplin'. I know fertility rites are important but not enough. Even if we could bring back magick like it was durin' da Mythic age....I still no would." While it might not mean anything to anyone else, Beth's belief in being a guardian of the mythic threads, a branch of the World Tree, she cannot imagine giving a part of herself for it.

"Money? I got dat...an' of alla da kine dat make me real angry? Is when women are led t' believe da only way dey got of improvin' deir situation is by allowin' someone f' slide between deir leg, an' I hate t' put it so cruelly. If a woman wanna do dat of her own accord...dat's one kine, but to be seen as only chattel, as only an object...an' not really jus' women, but anyone, regardless of how dey identify. "Business is usually about avarice...about acquirin' money, or power, or any number of stuff...an' it's all same-same. A gi nevah come wi' a price. Anyone who tell ya oddahwise...lyin' to ya. I give da kine to ya because I know ya need. I know ya nevah aks f' it. I know it makes us bot' choke happy. I would nevah aks ya for any kine in return, nevah expect it...not'ing li'dat. It's not my way. It's not livin' pono, an' I nevah would corrupt eiddah one in dat way." She pauses, finishes the glass, then starts pouring herself another. "F'I were force t' choose a price? I would only give myself for one kine, an' as stupid an' cheesy it might sound? It would be for love. An' love nevah ask f' any kine but to be and to grow. No maddah who or what is bein' loved."

#Mahalo!Shady <333 #Like A Sad Hallucination|Anakin Skywalker #Like a Memory in Motion|Anibeth #The Trunk You Kept Your Life In|Mage The Ascension #Strange Days|New Orleans #Reborn on the Bayou|Louisiana

[mrsunderhill678]

Ya Gorl’s Been Tip Tappin’ against the keyboard and makin’ magic with her fingies

“I used to think I was a troubled man, stumbling mistake to mistake, wondering what people's lives would be like without me. But now I've come to realize I'm not troubled, just hurt, and there's such a fine difference in that. Love and trouble used to look like cocaine and sugar, and I could hardly tell the difference between pain and gentleness. So I let neither guide my way in fear of choosing the wrong thing and breaking myself in ways I could never fix.” - Dan Castlestone

“I met my love as she wept in her sorrow, wondering why she couldn't find freedom. But it feels like, as I dance my fingers against the etches of her spine and kiss her gently where it hurts the most, our love is the freedom she's been craving. She's got scars on her heart, but look at her, sitting gentle and peaceful like a dove prophesizing great peace and love. I'd never seen someone so gentle, so beautiful, so lovely, until I met her sorrow filled and kind eyes.” - Mel Ackers

“I've always wanted to be somebody to someone, but it feels as if, I have finally become somebody to me.” - Fern Ackers

“She stood next to me in the garden as I sprouted, everybody else stood tall, but there I stood, bent in ways I didn't think could heal. But she didn't care. She stood there every day, giving me water and watching me grow, building me up with gentle kisses in the dark and nights spent tangled in each other's arms. And now here I stand, tall and loved, knowing that without Mel, without my beautiful children, I never would've learned how to be somebody to me.” - Fern Ackers

“I'm a love riddled fool, sipping on sorrowful poetry and sad songs in the dark, knowing I shall never be me, for I was born somebody else.” - Anderson Mafasa

“Some people call me crazy, but I prefer the term lucid in reality, for I crave fantasy much more than I enjoy the real things I can touch and feel.” - Anderson Mafasa

“There's no one but me in my mind, so how could I blame anybody but myself for the thoughts in my head?” - Anderson Mafasa

“It feels as if I have sunken deep into the recesses of myself, and there's no one but me to run to.” - Anderson Mafasa

“I've learned God can never tame the monsters he's made. He sets us loose in a hunting ground and when prey fell short we'd come to love the violence and the way blood felt on our hands. So we turned on each other and brought our stones down on those weaker than us, just for that high we got from power. I won't smile, but God damn brother, I'll show you my teeth.” - Adir Butcher

“I met evil in the heart of my hometown, sinister grin brewing with trouble, heart bared black on a leather jacket sleeve. I lost myself deep in the twisted and black spine of the underground, firing off bullets for the wrong reasons and losing pieces of myself each time they flew from the chamber. But as I sit here, honor beating in my chest, who I am flowing through my veins, I know I ain't never losing myself to trouble's smile once more.” - Adellia Rustfey

“He built hell on the streets of our home, but I'll be damned if we can't find heaven in ourselves.” - Adellia Rustfey

“I've brushed my fingers against the ever expanding pages of history, eyes dragging across kills immortalized in verse, wars written as beauty in prose and poetry, humanity's darkness called natural and inescapable. And I must wonder, as I stare history eye to eye if it's a warning we didn't heed or a monster we've created up of crimson etched poetry and verses glorified in blood.” - Achilles Arrowheart

“Asking "Why," to love is like looking up to the midnight sky and trying to count all the stars.” - Achilles Arrowheart

“I cannot live dancing under the shadows of ghosts.” - Achilles Arrowheart

“I was on my deathbed, six foot underneath a man I never was.” - Abramio Gold

“The way I see it, hate is a small plate, and you fill it with the little things that upset you, gorging em down and feeling full because you trick yourself into thinking it's a complete meal. But a few minutes later your heart begins to growl so you fill your plate with more hate and keep on doing it, again, and a fucking gain until all you can do is sit there at your hateful table, wondering why you're alone in a room full of your demons. We trick ourselves into thinking not everyone wants to sit at the table, so we never even give em the fucking chance. And I think that's sad, that we've tricked ourselves into thinking a life of hate is fulfilling.” - Abramio Gold

“I can say sorry for wot I've done, but dat doesn't change dat it 'appened. For some people, it just won't mattah dat I've changed, because when dey look into me eyes dey'll see da memories'a da cruelty in me. But a man don't change because 'e expects ta be forgiven. A man changes because he just can't fuckin' live wif da person he's been, so 'e kicks 'imself outta 'is 'ead and learns ta be somebody new past all 'is fuckin' pain.” - Lincoln Essex Twis

“I've got blood on me 'ands and ghosts in me blood.” - Lincoln Essex Twis

“No man wants ta go through redemption, for it's one'a da most torturous scars a soul can bare.” - Lincoln Essex Twis

“I used ta say I was a ghost loomin' over a grave dat weren't me own, but it feels as if, I spent me three days in me tomb, and all these people I love came around ta roll back da stone for me. And so, gentle, quiet and joyful I fall inta da arms'a all I love.” - Rosie Essex Twis

“The way I see it, and the way I'll always, see it, is that the man that fears change in the right direction has been walking in the wrong direction for too long, and has come to believe walking the wrong path is the only way he can go without resistance. So he sits in his comfort level, trying to force others to bend to his own fears.” - Pete Lockman

“I've always been a little wild, dancing barefoot in the garden and digging my nails into dirt and streams, falling in love with the way nature gently hums and shows her beauty. People say the world is hateful, but if you listen to the birds hum and you sing along to the gentle roar of the river, you'll come to realize the world never hates, only people, do.” - Lassie Lockman

“My father once told me that the strongest person of all is the one that embraces her identity and lets no one else narrate who they are. We all have our own stories and memories, and everyone's always trying to tell you how it is. But only you, know your story, and you're the only one who can tell it.” - Lassie Lockman

“She who changes based on every word spoken against her will never remain the same in the seconds that pass.” - Lassie Lockman

“I look to the sky, rays of light drifting through the dreary and lazy clouds. And I begin to wonder how God looks down on us. And as the sunlight caresses my cheek and brings warmth to my skin, I come to realize she speaks so gently, like a soft and quiet wind bringing the scent of love and forgiveness in it's wake.” - Lassie Lockman

“I was born under the shadow of bad men's deeds, looking to the sky for answers, praying to a silent God. But as I stood there, silence choking the goodness in me, I came to learn there's nowhere a sinning man can run from the madness and cruelty that comes on by to claim all who are troubled. And so I put another bullet in my chamber, firing off rage from a crimson revolver and killing under the shadow of cruel men's deeds.” - Navy Remington

“For as long as the sun has risen and fallen, trouble and violence have known man's heart, and so falling deep into the disease of murder and lies, I become one with my ancestors and succumb to the hum of spilling blood.” - Navy Remington

“I was just a girl looking for her peace, but now I place my finger against a sinning woman's trigger, looking down the scope of my rifle and knowing, it's not a wolf in my crosshairs. I always close my eyes the moment before a kill, convincing myself that it's just another deer, it's just another wolf, but I'm always haunted by the dead lying face down and crimson in the snow.” - Suzanna Hargroves

“I look to the stormy skies, wondering if my mother's eyes dance in those dark clouds, wondering if her tears drip down my cheek as another drop of rain splashes against my skin. Or am I just trying to see her everywhere I go so I never have to let her go?” - Suzanna Hargroves

“I stepped into that old mansion like a flickering and killing light drawing in the wicked moth, but as I walked out, I learned I had never been the flame, nor had Ickabod been the moth. I was human, and fragile, and Ickabod knew that, huh?” - Shamallo Green

“I was a white dove grenade hurtling toward darkness, but I was caught in the arms of cruelty and thrown back to the light where pieces of my shrapnel trouble broke through the skin of peace.” - Shamallo Green

“I'll never come to understand what life has in store for this old, blood spilling sinner, but I suppose all I can do is keep my head up high and pretend I've got a heart that's whole.” - Shamallo Green

“I ain't much more than a name in a book, these days, waitin' ta be cut down with ink scrawled 'cross my damn spine.” - Andraak Flint

“My full moon faded ta black and shadow, and God damn, I ain't much but a haunted man fallin' through the echoes of his snarl.” - Andraak Flint

“There ain't enough words on my tongue ta describe the love I lost. But 'er name tastes bitter on this guilty tongue. Carmellia was everythin' I never knew I needed, and when she danced 'er fingers 'cross my bare and scarred chest and told me I was er's, I could'a sworn I was gon' die a better man than I was born.” - Andraak Flint

“I look ta a grave too young, and ta me, it still feels like that soil was freshly dug.” - Andraak Flint

“I look to a cloudy sky and in the drops'a rain that splash on my eye I see the tears'a the holy pourin' down on the man peace and mercy forgot.” - Andraak Flint

“My life fell apart before I ever had a chance to live it.” - Arco Dogson

“It's always strange, losing yourself. Because when you find yourself again, he almost feels unfamiliar. Like an old friend you haven't seen for years. But then you get to talking and you realize everything changed, all but the laughter and joy that came with talking about nothing with a friend.” - Arco Dogson

“The powerful always call your whispers too damn loud cause they're morality stands on fragile glass, cracked and hollow, ready ta break with whisper decibels.” - Lockman Pierce

“I was a cracked seed wonderin' if he'd ever bloom, but all I needed was someone ta come on by with water and love, tendin' ta my heart and my soul and touchin' the scars in me with the tips'a their words in places my hands couldn't go. And that, is what Lucille is ta me. She's strong and valiant, risin' 'bove all trouble and cruelty. And when the war cry comes, you best believe she's gon' fight.” - Lockman Pierce

“It is when we are at war with ourselves that darkness comes on by, beggin' ya to diverge from your path. But don't stray, brother. When you're at an all time low, you gotta keep on walkin' the path'a the right. Cause darkness stands as the only poison mankind dares ta swallow.” - Lockman Pierce

“On the edge of death and madness I met a man with sadness bleeding from the edges of his eyes. He was just another broken man under a cruel man's shadow, and ever since I met him, trouble's known my name. But I don't blame him, for that.” - Fisher Rupkal

“We all need to cry a little, we all need to die a little to live a little. The sky's heavy with the scent of trouble and sin, and as the storm comes down I know, we'll face the rain and cackling thunder clouds side by side with those we call brother and sister. It seems people pass by the sorrowed man, hands in their pockets and ill thoughts in their heads, wondering why we don't help ourselves. But truth is, we left our hearts out in the storm to rust and always felt like if we put them back in our chest, our bones too, would rust over with the musky scent of trouble.” - Fisher Rupkal

“Hey man, look, the powerful will tell you you're nothing, but doesn't that mean you're free to become anything?” - Derrick Furmusa

“I'm just a curious spirit walking home in the dead of night, passing old identities by like stumbling strangers, knowing all I wanna do is walk through the front door of who I am and embrace this person I've become. And sure, as I walk inside claw marks etch the wallpaper and there might be one or two shadows hiding in the corners of my sanctuary. But this person I am is home, he's me, and I'll never let that change. All these hallways and doorways of me tell a story dotted with trouble and love that builds who I am from scars and memories.” - Derrick Furmusa

“I was never strong, but I've always figured the most important kind of strength is the kind that walks in your heart and your mind, rather then the kind that resides in black eyes and broken knuckles. I've got a lot of fight left in me, so I think it's high time I face the cruelty of this world with a crooked little smile and a few quips and jokes.” - Derrick Furmusa

“Someone once asked me why in the face of death, I smile. And maybe it's because I never saw death as a foe, or something to fear, rather just another part of life coming and going as the wind blows on by.” - Derrick Furmusa

“I's got a cold shoulder, but it's all I got to lean on, holdin' on long enough for it ta haunt me. My daughter says that it's okay, ta be me, but bein' me has only ever made me regret who I am. And so I let this person I am drift away from the cigarette smoke, wishin' a princess would come and save me. Cause I sit here in my eyes like Rapunzel, lookin' out her stained window'a glass and regret, wonderin' why she can never leave her tower. And I only ever let down my hair to let those that hurt me inta my mind.” - Julianne Hufflesburg

“My lips taste like lies whispered on a cold afternoon, my love feels like a flickerin' spark driftin' from the cigarette, and my heart, in the hand'a someone who cares, feels like not the rose, but the thorns from it's stem.” - Julianne Hufflesburg

“I must remind myself that life is a slow and insidious killer, drainin' the soul and heart outta ya before ya ever get a chance ta fuckin' live.” - Casimir Heartfull

“When I first met Remana she asked me who I was prayin' ta, and I sparked up a cigarette and told her truthfully? I was prayin' ta the silence hopin' I'd hear sumthin' in the echoes 'a my prayers. But now I look back at all these memories'a her and I see a red eyed ghost, lost in addictions and some delusional 'ope that she could crawl 'er way outta hell. I tried ta help her, but who I am simply weren't enough, so I took our kids and I ran from 'er ghost, wonderin' if I did the right thing or the cowardly thing.” - Casimir Heartfull

“I'm just a waste'a fuckin' life, sippin' on whiskey and lies in hopes ta bury this man I am six foot deep beneath liquor, cigarettes and sex. But part time pleasures never saved a man. Only made 'im forget who he is. I've got midnight rain swimmin' in my heart, growin' a garden'a regret and weeds in my soul. And God damn, man, I forget the way her fingers feel on my skin or the way her lips tasted on mine. And I gotta wonder if she misses me when I ain't around, or if she wishes she'd never met me and saved herself the trouble'a rememberin' me.” - Casimir Heartfull

“I was stolen away in the night by wolves in the dark, and now I grasp at who I am, clutching only air, wondering how I'm to bloom in gravel and bark.” - Candie Scavell

“The thing bout life is, it ain't fair. And it ain't never going ta be, nor will it ever be. We're all born different, given different lives and opportunities, so ta say life treats all as equals would be a lie. But that don't mean we can't treat each other, as equals.” - Vernon Crazendale

“I've been a wild, country rockin' ramblin' soul for a long time now, dancin' under the sunlight with cheep beer on my breath and just another reason ta live in my heart. But when that beautiful woman caught me up in her arms and tangled her way inta my heart, I knew it had been trouble and nuthin' I'd been livin'. Bobbi's a kind, gentle and wild soul, singin' her heart out, never afraid ta share her melody. When she places a hand on my cheek and tells me we'll brave this storm together, I always git this feelin' we'll walk out the other side, all be it scarred, and damaged. But still intact and fightin'.” - Vernon Crazendale

“I've never been a blind man, but it feels like, when Bobbi presses her lips against mine, she taught me ta open my eyes. I wouldn't want anybody but her lyin' on my chest when I fall inta sleep, I wouldn't want anybody but her tangled in my sheets. She's this beautiful guardian angel and I'm always swearin' up and down she was sent from heaven on peace's wings. She always chuckles and says she's human just like me, but I always figured that's what angels were.” - Vernon Crazendale

“A place an orange capped revolver under my chin, breathing in, breathing out as with the click of a plastic trigger, I let my imagination kill me.” - Alvadia Crow

“I often wonder if trouble kisses her knuckles before they hit my cheek, or if she loves the man she torments. I've crossed my heart and vowed to die, trouble looking me up and down with hungry eyes, my faith pinning me against the wall and stealing the mercy from my lip. I have a menace in my bed, he tosses and turns, nightmares plaguing him, faith killing him, and he is me, he's always been me. And so long as I am me, I shall never truly be. How cruel it must be to live under the shadow of love and faith, falling in love with all the things that want to kill you.” - Alvadia Crow

“I am beginning to fear God watches over me not as a loving mother or father, but as a watcher and tormentor, learning the ins and outs of me before she learns the cruelest ways to kill me. Perhaps it was never God's voice I heard, but a steady and aching silence I mistook for guidance.” - Alvadia Crow

“With trembling hands and shaking fingers I place this orange capped revolver under my chin, closing my eyes with a mind so weary. And as I slide my finger gentle against the trigger, and place my hand cruel against the hammer, I whisper to the sorrowful sinner that is I, "I think I better go before I try something I might regret." - Alvadia Crow

“My head's cloudy and my mind's up in the empty sky, soaring like Icarus toward their death, knowing as they fall, clutching at the world with tears in their eyes and freedom in their smile, they died themselves.” - Juno

“My father was everything to me, you know? He was like this hero I could always look up to when my mind treated me cruelly, and when I let the truth spill from my words, he accepted me as I am and pulled me into this warm hug that smelled of leather and acceptance with the slight tinge of smoke. It honest to God feels like I'm crumbling without him, and as villains and bastards swarm around me, I cry out to a grave to save me.” - Juno

“I just wish I could have one last hug from my father, one more kiss goodnight from my mother. But as I close my eyes and fall back into my mind, it's not their smiles that greet me, it's their graves that come to haunt me.” - Juno

“I'll always stand as a whiskey burning question, wisping and fading away like cigarette smoke on a cold afternoon.” - Tristan Ripburn

“I sink ta the bottom’a my thoughts and begin ta wonder who all the bones at the bottom’a the sea belongs ta. Only ta learn they was me, they was always me.” - Alaric Alistair

“I look up at grey eyes, wonderin' who I am as my tears and sorrows disappear like silence in the rain.” - Alaric Alistair

“I was just a boy with nuthin', tryin' ta make a somebody outta himself until I met the man that'd kill all the things that made me Alaric Alistair. He always tells me it's my fault that I continue ta live in his shadows and lies, and God damn, he's right. I pass by guns in the nightstand but never pull the trigger, I walk past him as he sleeps and don't kill the monster in my head, and as he tells me ta kill another soul and enact another consequence, I do as told.” - Alaric Alistair

“I'm a skinny and starvin' dog that never learned how ta bark, and so I rile myself up and leave no warnin' for my bite, always leavin' teeth marks and claws in everythin' I ever let go.” - Alaric Alistair

“I wonder what my mother would say if she saw me today, old bat slung over my shoulder, wicked grin lyin' crooked on my lip. I ain't the boy she rose no more, just the boy that fell.” - Alaric Alistair

“All that's left of me is an old chalk outline laying at the bottom of the streetlight, knowing that it was a knife in the back that killed this man I am.” - Maxlion Saltkal

“Some men will claim themselves good, some men will claim themselves bad, but I don't think I've got a definition for me. Cause I've been good, bad and everything in-between, wondering who I'll be when that first bullet flies. It was in the flashing and colored lights of the nightclub that I met my demise. There he stood, dancing to dead melodies and sins, not knowing, as the two of us met, fate had decided both of us would die.” - Maxlion Saltkal

“Bits and pieces of me have died throughout the years, and as I realize I can't carry all of them in my arms, I regretfully shove them into my empty chamber, slinging six broken pieces of me at the man that shattered me.” - Maxlion Saltkal

“I can never tell if I'm the hammer or the nail, but when we stare each other down, pistol's eye to pistol's eye, the smoke that leaves the gun shall determine who we are.” - Maxlion Saltkal

“Carva was just another justice bound soul until we met, and in my eyes she saw something wild, something reckless, but more importantly, she saw the possibility of us. She didn't care that I was a fucking lowlife livin' the outlaw life, because all she saw when she looked at me were the beautiful things I built my scars of. I've got blood on my hands and regret in my mind, but when she takes me by my hand and tells me I'm good enough for her, I can't help but think I'm on the path to redemption.” - Mika Hammerclub

“All cruel men who ever walked always left some kind of death in their stride, gunshots and echoes always following wherever their bootprint lied. But to all the cruel men of this world? I'm a cold fucking reckoning. Because God damn, I stand for justice these days and my chamber's full of names.” - Mika Hammerclub

“I'm a finger trembling on a dead woman's trigger, knowing I've no bravery left, only the emptiness that comes with sorrow.” - Kecia Brightburn

“It feels as if, in someway, my heart has become vacant in my chest and my demons rent out rooms in my head. And here I lie under the shadows of the bed, waiting for my monsters to slide their ankle over the edge. And as they do, I drag them under, hoping I have the courage to do what I must. But I always stare back into the eyes of my son, wondering if it's right of me, to kill the monster that stares at me with eyes I used to love. And so I let him go and sit like a shadow under the bed, knowing above me lies a wicked angel sleeping gently in his chaos.” - Kecia Brightburn

“In the span of a few days I lost my life, and now I swing from the hook skinny, starved and silent, wonderin' who I'd be if I never met all the things God's come ta fear.” - Markus Caesar

“In my small town'a secrets and lies I found an angel watchin' over the remnants'a Eden with a flamin' sword and sorrow in 'is eyes. And there he stood, defendin' the serpent for he was just another victim ta the lies'a the wicked. I used ta damn the man who bit down on his tongue ta keep secrets in the dark, but I's learned we're all victims ta the cold, hearts beatin' empty in a heavy and burdened chest.” - Markus Caesar

“I look up ta the empty sky, wonderin' what my aunt would think if she saw me now. She were my light in the dark, really, but now that she's gone my restless head's been singin' the damn blues and I'm lost on the silent highway ta freedom and grace. When ya lose your guardian angel, what are ya 'sposed ta become? I sit here like a regretful dog, layin' at his owners' grave, wonderin' when she'll come back. But it's bones and soil I'm lovin' and hopin' on.” - Markus Caesar

“A thousand dreamless lives sit heavy on my heart, howlin' for justice, but the beat'a my heart's become just another sound, and my bravery's fadin' like sparks in July.” - Markus Caesar

“The way I see it death has always been mercy. The moment a man falls he's been spared of the misery life tends ta bring, and whosoever lives on shall die a man they're not. After all, it's what happened ta me, eh? I stared into the unblinking eyes of death, but she turned my gaze to cruelty and shut my damn eyes.” - Zachary De’Lillium

“I bite down on bullets etched with my own fucking name.” - Max Tripp

“I've been a bad, bad man, and as I look at the sky and see the sorrowed eyes of my love in the clouds, I know she died ashamed of this man I am. I was her last mistake, and now here I sit like a flickering remnant of who she was, wondering when I'll get the justice I deserve. But I never find karma at the bottom of the glass, I never find redemption in the burnt stump of the cigarette. It's impossible to find who you are when you've always been blind, huh?” - Max Tripp

“Me and my demons play this funny little game of two regrets and a lie. I let her down, I whisper, I loved another, I shout. I'm a good fucking man, I weep. And there the demons sit in my mind, laughing and clapping, for they always know the lie.” - Max Tripp

“In the shadows of the wood I met a wolf, and with childlike glee and curiosity I followed him as he tossed rose petals on the ground. I built a rose from his lies, not caring for the way the thorns bled my palm. And just as I began to realize all wolves lie, he ripped me away with hungry eyes and carved my innocence into darkness.” - Carrie Howl

“I've got a few scars beatin' in my chest, whisperin' in the melody of my heart that I don't deserve these things I've got. But family ain't about deserve I reckon, it's more about who sticks by your side even when you don't really deserve it. When my rifle becomes too much ta bear, and my sins sit too heavy on my shoulder, I've got my family ta lean on. Cause it's when you're at your worst, that family's love is at it's best.” - Despevada Solace

“I've got prayers sittin' on my cowboys' sleeve that never made it ta God, and I wonder if he sees these words I scrawl on the scarred leather and linen'a who I've become.” - Despavada Solace

“I've got demons in my fucking head, man. They stand there just in the edges of my sanity, always leaving scratches and bites on the inside of my skull until pieces of them bleed into me. I've never been someone worth while, just another sad boy whispering lies to himself that everything would be okay. But look at me now! I've got power and insanity on my side, and I can't help but think these wicked things are what I should build my name off of.” - Wulf Azari

“In the shadows of murder and the light of sin I met a devil like me. She sits quiet and still with a festering rage in her heart and when you dare think she's a sheep, she'll smile and show you her fangs.” - Wulf Azari

“I've said goodbye to myself too many times, it's time I met who I'm not.” - Wulf Azari

“The world will remember the boy it forgot.” - Wulf Azari

“I am a quiet strangulation hidden behind words like, "No need to worry bout lil' ol' me.” - Hildon Crowrappha

“I was just another man on the streets, consuming part time highs, filling myself full of substances that would kill me. But as the angels started carrying me back home on wings of glass and fragile prayer, I had this horrible realization that I had never lived, for it had always been through death I walked. And so, kicking and screaming I tore myself from heaven, condemning myself to a life on Earth.” - Hildon Crowrappha

“I'm standing under the shadow of another woman's damnation, wondering why, if God is watching over us, she is allowed to exist? But perhaps God never had a plan for us, and all he could do was observe us like a dream, wondering why it was never lucid.” - Hildon Crowrappha

“It feels as if I carry a cross in my heart, and slowly but surely, it is turning itself upside down.” - Hildon Crowrappha

"I'm drownin' under the trouble I created, and I can blame my problems all I like, but it's my mind workin' against me, so in a sense, I've got an enemy inside my head and he looks like a God damn mirror." - Stefanio Dogvalk

"You wanna kill a man? Well then God damn, brother, just give 'im a reason ta hate." - Milo Horvinshay

"Something sinister lurks deep within his kindness, for it is just another masks he wears like gossamer and silk." - Maddox Spelfellheim 

"Even the farmer stares at the coyote through the scope of a rifle." - Alfred Godsel 

 "And so when fate finds itself at the crossroads of two promises, which do you think it'll choose? Because from where I'm standing it sure as fuck seems like fate don't vow for the conquerors." - Mac McVale

"Sometimes life bats around the good people because it doesn't trust them to keep good hearts in their chests, so it dares fate to make the good hearts black." - Coby Mackentime 

"I'm pretty sure the soul is a concept we made up ta answer the uncertainty of our morality." - Lockman Pierce 

"Fear is a very funny word, it runs through many a man's veins, bringing them so gently to death. But death was never a friend, nor was life, nor fate, nor mortality. It was always just another way God could keep us trapped, for the day we sinned, immortality flitted away into nothing." - Calzell Flickerfeid 

"A threat is a threat, the words matter not, the intention breathes through the blood in the air." - Calzell Flickerfeid   

"Life is lived right up until the moment it isn't." - Calzell Flickerfeid 

“Crazy only exists in the eyes of the well man." - Comodus Kalchamber  

"Staring into my eyes, you see every man who fell like an angel from the sky. I used to believe God stood by all who worshipped, but I now know he only stands by those who worship right. I knelt at the altar, heart empty in my bones, and I prayed to a God who could never hear the quiet whispers I spoke. For he was never there, it was just who I am shouting in the corner of my mind." - Alvadia Crow

Man dun'it make a sound as he falls apart." - Oswin Sealock 

"You think me a crack in this castle of glass? Brother, I'm the fucking hammer." - Lorenzo Storm 

"My monster looks at me through the edges of my eyes, he's corrosive like poison, seepin' into my thoughts, my actions and the way I speak. Because in the end he's apart'a me, and ain't nuthin I can do to change that other than hope he leaves with the driftin' smoke." - Rustin Threadpatch

"I don't fear. I analyze, I come to understand. Then I damn, I fight. I condemn not what I don't, understand. But what I do." - Rustin Threadpatch 

”I’m falling apart like a 1965 photograph. I’m faded and torn at my edges, little pieces of me missing, like a puzzle that you know ain’t never gonna look right. They can put little pieces of me back together, stitch my edges back against one another, but in the end I’m the still the same old photograph, caught as a ghost in a single frame of time.” - Rustin Threadpatch

"Some people like to think that getting away with it is another form of mercy. This is untrue! You didn't get away with it, my friend. The world simply forgot you did it. How unfortunate for you that I didn't." - Lieutenant Stenbarge 

"People are, monsters at best, human at worst." - Rustin Threadpatch 

 "He walks confident like a loaded gun with the hammer pulled back and ready." - Rustin Threadpatch   

"A delusion is only beautiful if the mad gives it a reason to be." - Maureen Chiseldowe

"Thing bout second chances, Graham. Is that they give the spared man the wicked fuckin' idea, that he can get away with it." - Henry Sinix

"Mankind does not believe the broken man. In the whole we trust, in the broken we condemn." - The Crow

"Be it God or man, we are always looking for someone to blame. Unfortunately, I am the blade others fall onto." - Arasill

#writing #oneliners #characters #author #dialouge

[hidansama]

can u do the couples thing for itachi and deidara if ur still doing that 👀

i sure can dear anon :>

Gives nose/forehead kisses: i mentioned previously that dei loves kisses, and it’s no different with itachi. he’ll sneak in kisses when nobody’s watching, followed by a giggle that make others turn around to look at them. itachi doesn’t mind these kisses at all.

Gets jealous the most: deidara get’s jealous as he wants to be the centre of attention at all times. if itachi is paying too much attention to someone else, that attention cannot be paid to him, and therefore he’s not happy about it. it’s not so much about him fearing itachi is interested in someone else, he just needs all the attention on him.

Takes care of on sick days: itachi will look after dei, as he tends to be a bit useless when it comes to looking after himself, sick or not. itachi will look after him to the best of his abilities, as dei becomes very annoying when sick.

Drags the other person out into the water on beach day: deidara will try his gosh darn hardest to get itachi to join him in the water, and usually does succeed. how can anyone say no to that face?

Brings the other lunch at work: whenever their schedules match and they get to spend time together, dei somehow, very conveniently, always has extra food on him to eat with itachi. despite him bringing his own food with him all time time, he secretly prefers eating half of whatever dei has brought with him.

Tries to start role-playing in bed: deidara bring the weirdest ideas to the bedroom, and wants to try them all. itachi can sometimes be a bit hesitant, but dei will win him over every single time. “you gotta try everything at least once to know you don’t like it, itachi!”

Embarrassingly drunk dancer: whenever music is playing and there’s alcohol involved, dei is on the dance floor. or the yard. or the living room sofa. everything is a dance floor for him. he can’t dance, but has no fucks to give.

Firmly believes in couples costumes: deidara insists on couples costumes for any party, whether you’re meant to dress up on not. every party is a costume party for him, and itachi just has to go along with it. 

Breaks the expensive gift rule during Christmas: christmas isn’t really a huge thing in japan and neither are christmas gifts, but itachi will surprise deidara with gifts every now and then just to keep things interesting. he’s definitely bought him some beautiful jewellery.

Makes the other eat breakfast: if dei sleeps over at itachi’s place, breakfast will be cooked and served by the time the he wakes up. itachi is decent at cooking, but deidara always loves whatever he makes for him to eat.

Remembers anniversaries: itachi remembers their anniversaries for sure, though dei isn’t too bad at it either, but likes to joke around and pretend like he forgot. they rarely do anything special for their anniversaries, and prefer to stay at home and enjoy each others company.

Brings up having kids first: dei would bring the topic up, but itachi will talk him out of it as they wouldn’t be the best of parents to raise a kid up.

Kills the bugs: dei wants to kill the bugs but itachi won’t let him, and instead safely removes them from the house and lets them back into the wild. deidara thinks it’s dumb, but doesn’t put up a fight anymore. 

First to define them as a couple: dei announces it to everyone way too early into their relationship, and itachi just stands there unable to say anything or do anything. he wasn’t ready to tell anyone, but there we go, it’s out there now, apparently they’re boyfriends now.

Who hides their guilty pleasures longer: dei loves making little clay creatures to go with his new found love of gardening, which he can’t hide for long. itachi finds this extremely adorable and wants to get in on it, demanding him to make a clay crow.

Snorts while laughing: deidara snorts quite often when laughing, bless him. everything is so funny to him, and whenever he puts his entire body into it, he can’t help but snort.

#thank you!! #itachi #deidara #itadei #is that their ship name? #Anonymous

[keyofjetwolf]

Bonus Question Answers! (anime heat 3)

I asked a silly question! You gave me incredible answers. SO VERY MANY INCREDIBLE ANSWERS. If yours is listed below, you’ve earned an entry in a random draw to win a GIFTENING liveblog OF YOUR CHOICE

SURPRISE EVERYONE WHO ANSWERED THIS ONE GETS AN ENTRY (with extra entry if you pulled a specific line). This has been such a struggle for me for the past ... you know, million years or something, and each of you made me feel so good, thank you. ♥

—

Q: This is reaching back into the memory a bit, I know, but what's your favourite of my fanfic? (BONUS BONUS ENTRY if you pull a specific line!)

*  i cannot remember a specific line off the top of my head but i remember the post-S series dealing with usagi's trauma from pharaoh 90 (sound of silence?) was a gut punch and a half --  anewconstellation

~~

* "Blue shirt. Pearl buttons." I think this was the first time I read you writing the Outers, particularly Neptune and Uranus, and, uh, holy shit. Absolutely note-perfect dialogue and dynamic, particularly for that period of Sailor Moon S when Michiru and Haruka used intimacy of speech and gesture as an instrument of distancing and obfuscation (of their goals to the Inners, of their hearts to themselves and to each other, of the heli-pad to the staff at Mugen Academy, etc). It was so clear, and so clearly *them* that I could actually hear the intonations of their respective seiyuu. And then to deploy such spot-on character elements in combination with the stakes and the maturity the anime never reached for, my WORD, are you trying to kill me??? The pacing, the restraint! What an absolute gift. You're a wonder. (also your drabbles are fuckin peerless, and the BTL concept is such a clever series framework)  -- @rasiqra-revulva​

~~

*  This was so hard to pick from, but I finally settled on "Cause and Affect" - it's such a heartbreaking story, but the juxtaposition between the clinical lines of information from the computer to the memories Ami is dealing with to the horror of the visuals around her... it's so bright and sharp and PRESENT.  It keeps me in the story, that mix of tones and feelings.  And the final line?  Perfection.  "Number of regrets: none"  What an amazing take on Ami and how she processes information and how she deals with the situation she is in.  I still get chills up my back when I read the story.  -- @amberlilly​

~~

*  I love your Between the Lines series, it's how I found your Tumblr and liveblogs back in the day -- @amboato​

~~

*  Author Alert.  “So never, ever, going to live this down.” -- @crunchbuttsteak​

~~

*  "Of her word" quote "But for all that, it remained sand. Rei erased it with one swipe."  -- Dei

~~

*  Between The Lines. Adding further character/emotional depth to canon is YES PLZ. I really liked the whole idea of Usagi having trauma post-Pharaoh 90 and all the chapters that hit on that. On a less serious note Chibs' circus-related PTSD and freaking out when Hotaru wants to go to the circus kills me every time. ("But your precious dreams Hotaru-chan!")  -- forgottenfae

~~

*  This is probably the obvious choice, but "The Sounds of The Silence" has haunted me in all the best ways since I first read it. The way you write Rei, Usagi, and Rei and Usagi hits me right in the heart every time. This particular fic, with Usagi so traumatized, and Rei being as soft and gentle as Usagi needs, will always stick with me. I pulled up the fic to try and narrow down a single line, and ultimately there's no real debate. "She would never stop trying to do more, but for now, she simply did this." That line is, at its core, the essence of Rei Hino. And it is perfection.  -- gatorsandglitter

~~

*  I don't expect this to win at all, just sharing,, but I just super fondly remembered the goggles and all the amazing content, meta, and fic those inspired, both from you and others  -- @goosebytrade

~~

*  "You Win or You Die"  my favorite line is "She and Rei WOULD have The Moment, they WOULD get their thousand years of bliss, and they WOULD be making out after all this was over. Like, SO HARD."  -- @i-needa-nap-please

~~

*  I'm always really bad at answering questions like this because my mind has pretty much become a goldfish in my old age and I have a hard time remembering specific fics; it all sort of starts to jumble up in my brain and things get lost. But I have always loved reading your writing, it's what got me onto this godforsaken website in the first place -- it was just before Crystal dropped, and we were all foolishly full of hope and excitement, and you were going through the Moon Pride video and waxing poetic about the FRIENDSHIPS and I was like, "YES! Finally! Someone who understands why I love this stupid kids' show!" I think I sent you an ask saying this before, (but who knows if you ever got it, Tumblrs being what they are - indifferent) but I tried reading fanfic and even published novels based on properties, like the Buffy novels and Star Trek and Star Wars novels, for a long time, and mostly found it frustrating and annoying and just... wrong. It always had this awkwardness and clunkiness to it that didn't do anything for me and just constantly screamed "THIS IS A FANFIC IT IS NOT REAL WRITING" at me. Didn't like it. But, I liked yours. Yours didn't feel awkward or clunky. You have never written any sentences like, "Rei watched the blonde stand up" where "the blonde" is Minako, and I don't know why fanfic writers think that calling characters "the blonde" or "the redhead" or whatever is sexy or cute but it ain't (sorry, pet peeve tangent). So, when you were writing stuff more, I would read it like it was going out of style, and you led me to Doc's writing, which had the same natural, "this is real writing" quality, and I loved hers, too. Anyway, my favorites of yours have always been the Between the Lines stuff. I just love the "hidden" moments that we didn't get to see. The Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead bits of Sailor Moon (speaking of fanfic that actually works) that bring so much depth to characters we know and love already or to characters we see only briefly. Also, the Shadow Senshi, because FUCK. Just... Kill Me. In any event, I know that writing has been difficult for you of late, and I know how that feels, so I hope that people who are actually able to answer this question have given you some places to go and draw strength from so that it can become part of your life again. TBH, I've been using the bonus questions on your Giftening surveys and Doc's 8 Days surveys as an excuse to try doing some small bits of quick, no pressure, nobody's gonna see it unless you or Doc actually LIKE it, don't think about it writing, and it has been helpful. I hope you can find something that gives you the same opportunity. Now that I've written you a novel that doesn't even answer the question you asked (goldfish, remember? *sigh*), have a gorgeous Tuesday!  -- @incorrecttact

~~

*  The one with Pluto and Queen Serenity, where Serenity is selfish in a very Usagi way, but her arrogance combined with that selfishness makes it a fatal flaw? I liked that one a lot. -- Jules

~~

*  the bit you wrote to 'fill in' a gap for why during r did mamoru act like a distant jerk. My favourite parts were Rei coming to see the same dream, and despite being the one to have the biggest reason to believe in these kinds of prophetic visions, Rei still doesn't believe fate is set in stone. -- just... a fan. a well-baked one

~~

*  Make It To New Year's -- @kaleidodreams

~~

*  ahhh, where is a link to all of your fanfic? It's the series you started after S, with Rei comforting Usagi, because like you I was let down by the fact that they never followed up on what Usagi saw, or even how she dealt, with the end of S. runner up: the one where Usagi is about to give birth because everything you write with Rei and Usagi is amazing. -- kari

~~

*  There was a drabble/draft/something that you used one of my prompts for, and I prompted you with Usagi and Rei, but you did it from Luna's perspective and THAT WAS SO UNEXPECTED and it turned out SO GOOD cause like!!!!!! You made Sailor Moon both someone Luna cares for, because still the legacy of the moon, and someone utterly discouraging for her because *this should not be*, and wow what a way to make it both about Usagi herself and about her powers.  -- katrani

~~

*  I love the btl fics, they fill in the missing gaps, add depth to the story, and sometimes smooth over things (SuperS) when canon is just...blah. One line I really liked was: “I was listening, at first, but then I started thinking about how hungry I was, and how a pork bun would be really good right now, and then I wondered what makes a thing a bun, and like, if you put ANYTHING in a bun, does it become a Thing-Bun, so could you make a bun out of another bun and would it be a Bun Bun, and wouldn’t that be the greatest thing to– Rei?” It's a great run-on, stream of thought sentence that just really catches Usagi's voice, is hilarious, and such a natural progression. -- @kumeko

~~

*  “HUG,” Usagi demanded again, because dammit, she’d been promised a hug and SOMEONE was going to deliver. (The one where Michiru has the hiccups. Because it's fun HaruMichi stuff, because it weaponises Usagi in a useful way, because it manages to (gently) make fun of both perfect!Michiru and saint!Usagi without being mean to either character, and also because I get hiccups a lot and I haaaaate them.) -- nerdy-flutterings

~~

*  I can't remember a specific fic, but I LOVE your Shadow Senshi headcanons and they're the main reason I started writing my own Shadow Senshi stories. -- @notesfromtheidiotbox

~~

*  The Figuarts saga is the Sailor Moon fic I never knew I needed -- Raye

~~

*  Special Delivery is a delight. So much Rei Certainty (that ends up being misplaced). So much Usagi being The Most Usagi About Pregnancy. So much Comedic Hijinks, because why the hell WOULDN’T ‘the Senshi get blindsided when Usagi goes into labor’ end up going full screwball? There’s a lot of great lines there (Rei’s theory about Chibs taking control of the Gate of Time and manipulating things is fantastic, as is the ending,) but my favorite is definitely “Rei Hino if I give birth to my daughter on the side of the road I swear I will go back in time and tear all the pages out of your favorite coloring book! [...] I’ll break the crayons too, Rei-chan!” Delightfully specific and childish, especially since Usagi sticks with it, and that particular brand of comic specificity is definitely a highlight of yours. -- Regalli

~~

*  Fire on Mountain!!! When I got to “Her voice was deeper than most expected when facing the certainty of her. It was rough, sandpaper running over cherry. She’d been a singer, once. Nobody would have believed her.” I was like oh. OH! -- Sasha

~~

*  My favorite of your fanfic, one one of the first I read is 'Hard to Break'. And my absolute favorite line is Usagi's panic when Minako tries to smoke: "Minako who was almost certainly dying, the cigarette had spread its evil and killed her instantly oh god."  -- @shavedjudomonkey

~~

*  Tonight Ami would grieve, and wish she understood why.'  This Between the Lines about Ami getting her mini computer both haunts me and brings tears to my eyes.  -- @shonasof

~~

*  I can't remember the title, but it's the one where Minako realizes that Rei's been writing Sailor V fanfic under the name Red Bow -- Somariel

~~

*  You would think Mako-chan's Happy Ending, but nope, this one goes to Hard to Break (although I had to look up the exact name.) This thing is filled with such great lines. How am I supposed to pick out one? "[Watch out, boys,]" Minako said in smooth and entirely unnecessary English. "[Lady Super Cool is on the prowl.]" -- Ultrace

~~

*  I forget the title, but it's the 'last senshi standing' fic where Ami is reflecting on the battle that took the others from her. Detatched and cold as she analyzes Rei Minako and Mako and finally Usagi's death with a medical efficiency, going through her Visors readout and then reflecting that the clinical words were nothing compared to what she'd actually seen. following up the method of death of the senshi with a statistic in relation to her friendship with the girl. Number of milkshakes shared, number of conversations lasting well into the night, number of hugs, number of smiles that brightened the darkest of moods. Describing how Rei's heart was pulped in a monster's grip, Minako's once beautiful face smashed against the rocks, Mako's lightning that outlived its mistress as she and Usagi ran off, and then finally that one last attempt to protect Usagi failing as 'Cervical Fracture' flashes on her visor. And From there she just... accepts death. sitting beside where Usagi had fallen and waiting for the end. it's dark af but it's the first one that always comes to mind when i think about ur fics :>  -- Vega

~~

*  I am extremely predictable here with two of my choices, as you know that I am obsessed with Fire on the Mountain and Blue Shirt, two things you wrote when you "definitely couldn't write" (Sidenote: My new year's resolution is to be harder on your about writing) We all know why I love blue shirt, it's basically an underhand pitch to the face for me, but Fire on the Mountain has a quality of regret and longing that I really connected with, something that really struck me in a way that was powerful. It's different from a lot of your inners work, and I think about Mina posing as Rei, in her disguise magic in the woods, and all the reasons why, fairly often. Something that MAY come as a surprise to you, is I really wish we got more ofyour overwatch stuff, and maybe I'll just keep asking for this for my birthday for the rest of our natural lives, but I think of like, the one you wrote on 7/14/20, with Pharah longing to have a man to shoot in the face because that would be easier than the emotions around whatever's going on with her, and I'm utterly tantalized. And I loved that hurt/comfort you wrote for me, where Pharah had this single minded drive to find out what had happened to Angela, and Tracer's trying to, well, comfort her, on some level, and the way you described Pharah's "animal cry" was FANTASTIC, and as always I am deeply jealous of your Tracer voice and IF YOU WOULD WRITE IT MORE IT WOULD HELP ME. -- WRITE, BITCH.

~~

*  The one were Hotaru confronted Michiru and Haruka about how they had tried to kill her in order to stop the Silence. Such a good little moment =w= -- zorrito

~~

AND THEN THESE WERE UNSIGNED SAD FACE

*  Chosen. I like your Overwatch stuff but Chosen was a goddamn masterpiece.

*  Operation: Heart Angels. Senshi going after Mamoru for his bullshit was something I didn't know I needed.

*  The entirety of Beggars Would Ride, including every single line of Anya's dialogue.

—

I’ll be drawing for the bonus liveblog around the start of THE GIFTENING 2020 (currently looking to be Monday, 11 January 2021). Each bonus question is another chance to earn an entry! I CAN ABSOLUTELY AND SHAMELESSLY BE BOUGHT.

#THE GIFTENING 2020 #THE GIFTENING 2020 admin stuff #THE GIFTENING 2020 bonus q #in which jw gets a fuzzy #jw writes stuff

[comradekatara]

the other day, I was thinking about an insane piece of discourse I saw back in '14/'15 once the lok finale had aired. a lot of people reacted negatively to the conclusion of korra's arc. not just due to korrasami, but because just before the scene wherein she and asami all but confess their feelings to each other, she says the following to tenzin: 

"I know I was in a pretty dark place after I was poisoned. But I finally understand why I had to go through all that. I needed to understand what true suffering was so I could be more compassionate to others, even to people like Kuvira." 

now, I can understand why people reacted poorly to that line. for one thing, the implication that she needed to suffer, which a) she already had suffered (amon & unavaatu), and b) no one deserves to suffer; paired with the implication that she needed to become more compassionate, when she was already plenty compassionate, is troubling. admittedly, this line could have used a second draft. 

but here's why I don't think the sentiment behind this is faulty: empathy has no limit. there is no gamut of human experiences, and you will never run out of learning new things. korra's arc is all about having her identity as the avatar being tested, constantly being questioned by the people whom she so desperately wants to help. amon strips away her bending, essentially undifferentiating from everyone else. unalaq violently rips raava away from her, intending to leave her only human. but zaheer doesn't just want to incapacitate korra as the avatar. he fully intends to end the avatar cycle, by killing korra full-stop. of course, he cannot, because even when poisoned and in chains, korra can still kick his ass. 

in short, korra is amazing. not only is she unbelievably powerful, but she uses that power to help others, and she has genuine kindness and compassion for everyone she meets. this has been true since book 1. it was never in question. and yet, another aspect of korra's character that is often glossed over is that she comes from privilege. she grew up in a thriving society, and being the avatar only exacerbated her access to everything she could ever need. of course, she was lonely, and antsy to leave the white lotus compound, and who could blame her, but compared to mako and bolin, whose childhoods would put oliver twist to shame, she lived like a fucking king. mako even points this out, and she acknowledges her privilege. so why couldn't the fandom? i have two guesses: a) it's inconvenient, especially when trying to pit her against asami, to acknowledge that she never had a tragic backstory. both her parents are alive and love and support her unconditionally, she's never had to worry about money, and she led a very sheltered childhood. b) the idea of an indigenous woman not growing up in poverty is inconceivable to some people, even though the southern water tribe is clearly thriving. (.........because racism.) 

korra had indeed known suffering before zaheer, but only in temporary bursts. her fight with unalaq happened in a shorter timespan than a lot of women go through labor in. losing raava was traumatizing and horrible, but it was only temporary. so was losing her bending. we can say that these developments were both a deus ex machina, and lazy writing, and I certainly wouldn't disagree, but literally everyone has experienced traumatic incidents for short bursts of time. this is not the same thing as what korra later goes through, and I will continue to explain why. furthermore, I think the writers agree that these were dei ex machina, because they course correct in book 3. (plus, they knew they had another season in the bag this time. so nick is, once again, at least partially to blame.) korra doesn't just bounce back, like she did in the previous seasons. in fact, after the violence she endured, she becomes so incapacitated she requires the use of a wheelchair. 

(I'm going to try not to make this too personal, so please just trust me that I know what I'm talking about here, and that I have an intimately familiar perspective on this situation.) in the episode "korra alone," we see korra at her lowest as she struggles to recover. a trip back home that she anticipates will only be two weeks ends up with her ultimately leaving republic city for the next three years. due to her past experiences, she does expect to bounce right back. she knows herself to be exceptional, and powerful, and she has no reason not to assume that she won't heal quickly. but it takes her much longer than anticipated to regain mobility, and even longer to build up her strength, both physically and mentally. she struggles with being physically disabled, as well as with ptsd and depression. this episode portrays all of this masterfully. as much as people claimed they did her dirty in book 4, avatar has always been exceptional at subtly portraying the effects of trauma, and this episode.... honestly felt like looking in a mirror. 

the episode title "korra alone" hails back to an episode of atla titled "zuko alone" in which zuko also struggles with his ptsd regarding the loss of his mother. incidentally, it also takes zuko three years after suffering a grave injury at the hands of a man who values the power of destruction over the inherent value of human life (especially your CHILD jesus ozai) to arrive at a place where he comes to terms with what happens to him, and even though he is not completely "healed," he ultimately finds value in the hardship he endured because he can retroactively appreciate the empathy he developed. like korra, zuko has always been empathetic by nature. in fact, it is his empathy that got him in trouble in the first place. but by having endured unknowable suffering, once he finally accepts it, he develops even greater empathy, and in doing so, saves the world. korra willingly sacrifices herself to save the airbenders. for the next three years, she lives in denial, her obstinate pride resisting the notion that she is human, and is allowed to be weak and hurting, and this only pushes her deeper down into her spiral. but ultimately, she finds strength in her suffering, and instead of fighting kuvira, she talks to her, person to person. even though she is a fully-realized avatar, more powerful than anyone could imagine, she recognizes that she is still human. this arc pattern sound familiar? hell, her hair cutting scene is a direct parallel to zuko's in 2.01. it's not subtle. 

and yet, here is something troubling. I have seen someone say that to think that what korra concludes from having suffered is acceptable, is agreeing with the same rhetoric as ozai. that saying, "I needed to understand what true suffering was so I could be more compassionate to others" is the same as saying, "you will learn respect, and suffering will be your teacher." for one thing, compassion and respect are two very different things. zuko learns the opposite of respect for ozai; he learns to (rightfully) resent him for the abuse he put him through. and yet, zuko would agree that his suffering was not in vain, because it allowed him to grow as a person. was zuko a good person before the suffering he endured? yes, in "zuko alone" we see that he has always been gentle and kind, to his detriment no less. had zuko suffered before the agni kai? undoubtedly. the disappearance of his mother caused him great pain, not to mention his father's abuse. and yet, he still claims that his banishment is what "set [him] on the right path," because it allowed him to realize not only the humanity of others, but his own as well. 

everyone endures pain. some pain lasts longer than others. recovery is not a linear path, and being hurt can be difficult to accept. but accepting your pain is the only way forward. you cannot change the past (capturing the avatar is a perfect metaphor for this because of course, ozai had no intention of zuko ever returning home, and yet zuko is determined it is his destiny). you cannot alter what happened to you. accepting this is the first step, and it's hard. the next step is even harder: appreciating what happened to you. experiencing unimaginable pain that lasts years on end is something that can (and does) alienate you from your community and your peers. and yet, it also tethers you to humanity in a way you otherwise wouldn't. both my parents are alive and healthy, and though many of the people closest to me lost their parents far too young, I fundamentally cannot understand the grief of that. but I know that if it happened, I would make it through, because you just do. 

people often tell me I'm "so strong,” and “so brave,” and “so inspirational" for dealing with my illness the way I do. for presenting myself as poised and charming, for forcing myself to work as much as I possibly can, for surviving this. but what else can I do? we do not know what we are capable of until we are tested. no one needs to suffer. no one is inherently deserving of suffering. korra and zuko certainly weren't. and yet, I do believe that to have empathy—true empathy—one needs to suffer. empathy is developed through experience. you will never truly know how another person is feeling. you can never access another person's consciousness. but if you see someone wince at having received a papercut, you will feel their pain if you have received a papercut at some point too. 

TLDR. it is literally the healthiest possible mindset after experiencing trauma to acknowledge that you accept what happened to you, and can find merit in having developed empathy due to that experience. korra's recovery arc may not be perfect (because literally nothing is) but it's poignant, and powerful, and affirming. (especially for qwoc. im js!) to claim that those who see themselves in her suffering in any way agree with ozai is an insanely bad take. you will continue to develop your empathy until you die. being kind is good, but you could always be kinder. korra's accepting of her suffering is not her thanking or even forgiving zaheer, it is her forgiving herself. the legend of korra is a story about a god contending with, and ultimately learning to accept, her own humanity— and for someone as powerful and incredible as korra, acknowledging your weakness and vulnerability is no small feat. there is true strength in humility. as iroh says, "pride is not the opposite of shame, but its source." so instead of resisting, let's allow ourselves to develop a new understanding, and learn to heal.

#korra #zuko #analysis #......................................yeah #i now we are an atla blog but. fuck i just love korra so much #i know this is kinda incoherent but. ugh #i just had to . say it best i could #korra&zuko

[realitv]

Media, do you fear World, or do you think of yourself as being in the safe zone, as it were?

  THERE’S NO SUCH THING AS BEING OFF RECORD. An interview was just a staged interrogation, an audience a passive jury. Cameras powering down; the blink of the recording dot fading into the dark and upon the manufactured living room stage, they cross their legs. VIEWERS, WELCOME BACK TO MY LITTLE SITTING ROOM! Doesn’t it feel like we’re friends? Don’t you feel wanted? Involved? Don’t you feel like for once in your life, that you belong? A SPOT LIGHT, PLEASE! Any closer, and the pound of CAKE FACE / #NOFILTER make-up they’d packed on over silicone and Teflon skin would begin to melt off. “So, you want a one on one?” With a bob of that bleach-blonde, over-processed head, they sucked in their cheeks; elbows digging into their knees and the camera pans, zooms. HERE’S A CLOSE UP FOR YOU: perfectly framed to that impassive face; dead-pan eyes glassy, a thousand powered down plasma screens. WE’RE LIVE IN THREE – There’s a no smoking rule on set. They ignore it; strike, light, inhale. I make the rules here. This is my domain. TWO – Quiet on set, please! ONE – Eyes shift; make contact with the camera. I see you.  “Perhaps my meaning wasn’t plain enough; all those rules about what’s appropriate to say on air –” THIS IS A LIVE BROADCAST. WE CANNOT PREDICT OR CONTROL BEHAVIOUR. “Don’t fuck with Mister World.” Short, simple; straight to the point. Fear leaves an ACRID smell; an electric fire brewing somewhere and for once, they are not smiling. THERE IS A TERROR KNOWING WHAT WORLD IS ABOUT. Repeated. Repeated. Said too many times and never heeded. VIEWERS, WOULD YOU BELIEVE ME IF I SAID I DID NOT KNOW THE EXTENT OF THEIR POWER? Would you believe me if I said I didn’t want to? “I wouldn’t want that pretty face mad at me. And since we’re off record, they have been cross. Not that it wasn’t deserved, but I -” OFF AIR! Image flickering, blurring; test card popping up: WE ARE CURRENTLY EXPERIENCING TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES. PLEASE STAND BY. Static clouding broadcasting signals and there’s a far off voice within. It skips again: FACE TO FACE WITH THE MASS MEDIA: curls so stiff with spray they could never dream of moving. “–Pardon the interruption. Crossed signals. It’s just bad business, isn’t it? And now look at me, on fucking probation.” Inhale, exhale; smoke obscuring their terrible mouth and they gave a jaunty little nod once more. VIEWERS, DID YOU PETITION ME FOR A REMAKE OF THE NANNY? No? Well, then why am I the fucking star of it? “Maybe I should have taken them to Tahiti with me. Just think about it! White sand, blue seas; a little fruity drink with a damn umbrella in it – Oh, I’ve never been so relaxed. Before all this bullshit, I could do no wrong, honey.”  Uncomfortably close; taking up the entirety of the shot and closer, still. Cutting to those empty eyes, that slash of a mouth parted in a wistful smile. CONFIDENCE IS KEY! Almost demoted below that tyke of a god, that child, the Boy: VIEWERS, I HAVE AN ACE UP MY SLEEVE. “I don’t think they’ll stay mad at little old me forever. Hard to resist a face this pretty, don’t you agree?” Laughter; grating, barking; popping with static and the buzz echoes like sickly blowflies come summer. “The world needs a voice. Mister World needs a voice: so let’s run a bet, shall we? Just how long until Mister World forgives their stunning, beautiful, very overworked and oh-so yummy piece of vox populi, vox dei? CALL 1-800-MEDIA-NEEDS-A-VACATION OR 1-800-WORLD-UPDATE-YOUR-BENEFITS-PACKAGE TO PLACE YOUR BETS NOW!”

#hey anon i love you #FHUISHFU MEDIA ARE YOU DOING OK???? YOU'RE STILL COCKY AND YOU'RE 3 SECONDS AWAY FROM GETTING FIRED #deciptur #BC REASONS #📺❝ THE SCREEN HAS ALL THE ANSWERS ! ( answered. ) #📺❝ ( verse. ) PUT A PILLOW OVER THAT FEELING. BEAR DOWN. SMOTHER IT ! #📺❝ UNCREDITED CAMEO APPEARANCE ! ( anonymous. )

[gbemi-is-rambling]

Realizations

After being severely depressed, anxious and mad at the world for so long, I finally realized why I have been so down. Quitting all my jobs and starting a new venture with my friends helped me realize:

1. I have been all over the place for years and I haven’t really focused on anything aka Jack of all trades, master of none. 

2. I love learning and new experiences but I thrive on feedback, positive feedback. 

3. I’m not as good as I think I am at anything really, exceling on small things had given me the illusion that I was really good.

4. I am LOST. I don’t know who I am or who I want to be really, I’ve tried writing my 5-year plan and I am so confused.

5. I don’t trust myself or believe in myself, this might be pushing it too far but I don’t think I even love myself.

6. I dey bluff gan. Its apparently all I am good at (aside quitting) therefore i become a burden to everyone e.g. T******ia

7. I am not as strong as i pose to be, something about someone telling me I had a weak mind helped me realize this.

8. I only focus on the bad, I don’t know how to see the good in myself.

Who am I?

What do I do?

What can I do?

I was asked this question a number of times last year and I did not know how to answer. I realized that I had been looking to people, jobs etc. to define myself and outside of that the only thing I am sure about is that I am an unrelenting quitter. In working with my friends for about a year what was I able to contribute to the team? I really was just weighing everyone down.

On top of all this, my attention span is really zero so learning new things have been somewhat difficult (also my lack of focus hasn’t really helped). It’s almost like I cannot learn anything on my own and everyone is too busy to help me. Why can’t I help myself? Why do I need someone else to help me?

I cannot even be a poster boy because I am so bloody shy #NotVainEnough. How long will I continue to hide behind these fake smiles? I have fucked up every chance I’ve had to flourish and I am so lost.

[airanke]

Bet You Wish - pt 2

@madmadameem​ YOU ASKED FOR IT AND I’M GIVIN IT 2 YOU //SCREAMS

Sorry ya’ll it would have been some SMUT like someone else wanted because I’m a horribad BUT NOPE EM WANTED THE ARGUMENT SO HERE IT IS--

Suffer mortals.

Alright, so, maybe? Nadia had spent far too much money than she should have. As she unpacked her fabric choices and the multiple dresses and the jewellery and goodness she really shouldn’t shop when she was angry - but all this was pushed to the back of her mind.

She was beginning to notice a theme with everything she had picked out for Vol’jin. Dark blues. Vibrant greens. Golden decorations.

Nadia was more furious about Amita’s departure than she thought.

Hurriedly, she exited the room she shared with Vol’jin, and stormed up the hall to the main office. The guards on either side of the door stood at attention when she approached.

She had half a mind to barge right in, but took a breath to calm herself and looked at the sentry to her right, “is he in a meeting?”

“Yes ma’am,” the troll replied. Nadia pressed her lips into a thin line.

“Do you know when he’ll be done?”

The guard looked down at the floor, then over at his companion. The female pursed her lips, “well, de blood elves be arrivin’ mebbe an houah ago. Dey didn’ tink it would be takin’ dem long, jus’ some talks ‘bout supply lines an’ Amani troubles. So… I tink mebbe, ten mo’ minutes?”

The male guard that Nadia had originally spoken to nodded his agreement. Nadia breathed deeply.

Then moved to stand off to the side in the hall.

“I’ll wait right here,” she said, holding up a hand, “I need to talk to him and I’m not going to let him sneak away.”

At least her comment on the warchief sneaking got a chuckle out of the guards.

Five minutes passed.

Then ten.

At fifteen, the door was pushed open. First, Rommath exited. He caught sight of Nadia, bowed to her respectively, then went on his way. Halduron followed, giving her a salute as he passed, but like Rommath, didn’t stop to converse.

Lor’themar, however, did stop.

“Lady Ravenscroft,” he greeted, dipping his head. Nadia flicked her brown eyes in the direction of the open door, then smiled at the Regent Lord politely.

“Regent Lord. I hope the meeting went well?”

He pursed his lips, glancing in the direction of the door as well, “for the most part! Some things have to put off for now, but I came here with the expectation that that would be the case. We’re off to the Undercity, and I’m assuming you don’t have time for any more pleasantries?”

Nadia sighed in relief that he had noticed her eagerness to go in the office, “not today, Regent Lord. Perhaps some other time?”

“Of course,” he smiled, bowed, and followed after his companions. Nadia waited until the blood elves were gone completely from sight before she stormed into Vol’jin’s office.

She slammed the door, and actually made the warchief jump.

“I cannot believe you,” she hissed. He stared at her for a moment, molten eyes swirling with confusion - then it clicked. Vol’jin rubbed his hand over his chin.

“Not now, Nadia.”

“Not now? Not now?!” she snapped, striding over to the desk until she was standing right across from Vol’jin, “then when were you planning on telling me, hm? Because I highly doubt you didn’t notice how distracted I’ve been by that necklace!”

Vol’jin raised a hand to cover the item in question, his gaze averted. Her anger only increased.

“Were you maybe hoping I wouldn’t see her?”

“As if I be expectin’ her ta show up today!” Vol’jin growled, abruptly rising to his feet. His claws dug into the wooden desk, “I haven’ heard from her fah two weeks!”

“That has nothing to do with why you never explained that to me!” Nadia argued, jabbing a finger at the necklace, “apart from me not asking! Because that’s another troll’s tusk - her tusk - and I didn’t know how to bring it up! So? When were you planning on telling me why she was so absent, Vol’jin?”

The way he furrowed his brows told her that if he could have avoided it, he would have never told her. A chill settled in the room, as much as Nadia tried to rein it in.

“You… she’s my friend, Vol’jin, and you-- you even kept me from going to Ratchet to check on her! Every time I decided I was going to go, you found something that you needed my help with-- no!” she slapped her hand against the desk when he made to interrupt her, “you knew! You knew and you stopped me and you kept me in the dark and maybe I’m glad you did because at least I got to hear it from her!”

Vol’jin’s ears were tipped with red. She’d love to hear him come up with a retort to that, and she glared at him with all the fury she could muster. Vol’jin growled under his breath, the gouges he was making in the desk growing deeper with every second.

“Fine,” he spat through clenched teeth, “I be knowing, so I stopped you. Fine. Bu’ don’ you dare tink I didn’ tell you to be keeping you in de dark,” he gestured to the tusk around his neck, “I had no idea how ta explain dis.”

“Um? Just tell me?” Nadia said, as if it were obvious. She didn’t like the smile that crossed Vol’jin’s lips.

“Right, right, sure,” he walked around the desk, digging his claw into it as he went, “sure. Hey, Nadia, dis necklace I have? Ya, I be gettin’ it aftah I ripped out Amita’s tusk. Den gave it back aftah apologizin’, only ta have her break it in half, an’ give part o’ it ta me,” he leaned down to get in Nadia’s face, an angry fire growing in his molten eyes.

“You know, right aftah she be tellin’ me dis be de end o’ us.”

Nadia flushed, brows narrowing. Amita hadn’t told her that part. She’d assumed that it had just simply been difficult for Amita to want to speak to Vol’jin after he ripped out her tusk. It hadn’t crossed Nadia’s mind that it could be due to Amita… ending her friendship with Vol’jin.

“Bu’ by all means, Nadia, be upset at me ova de fact dat I was havin’ some trouble figurin’ out how ta tell you dat I fucked up enough ta ruin one o’ de most important friendships I had.”

The mage balled her hands into fists, refusing to let him stare her down. Vol’jin scoured deep lines in the desk, and clipped some of the papers lying there too.

“On top o’ ev’ryting I hafta’ tend ta as de warchief of de entire damn Horde. On top o’ ev’ryting I hafta do as de chieftain o’ de Darkspear. Bu’ sure, git ya panties in a twist ova dis.”

Nadia couldn’t stop herself from striking him against the chest with the back of her hand. The nerve--

“You know what? Yes I am going to get my panties in a twist over this!” she jabbed him in the chest with a finger, “you were everything to her, Vol’jin, everything! And now this has happened and she’s up and left!? Did you think I wouldn’t be upset by that?”

“She didn’ just decide ta leave because I be rippin’ out her tusk!” Vol’jin snarled, standing up to his full height, “she been tinkin’ about dat fah a while, an’ I be guessin’ she neglected ta mention dat!”

“What did you do that made her want to leave that badly?! She loved you!”

His eyes went wide. Nadia had struck a chord, and the next thing she knew he brought his fist down so hard on the desk that it splintered.

“I, MARRIED, YOU!”

Nadia froze. Amita had alluded to that being the main reason she left. She had said she couldn’t watch Vol’jin get “cozy” with Nadia.

“I’m not a fool,” Vol’jin continued, more quietly, and in Zandali, “she’d inadvertently told me once before. I knew, Nadia, I knew. We be knowing each other for so long, it would have been natural. But I could never be that selfish,” his fist tightened, “everything I be doing, I be doing for the Horde - for my people. Marrying you was the best decision I could be making for their future.”

He raised his hand from the desk in favor of clawing at his neck, “she loved me and I loved her and we were both too Loa damn stupid to be doing anything about it. All she be doing was trying to put a wall between us after she be returning from Zandalar and I still don’t know why. She didn’t even tell me what happened to her on the islands until the king himself be showing up here to drop Bujune on her out of the blue.”

The warchief fixed Nadia with a scowl, and Nadia could only stare up at him, because this situation had gone and opened up an entire can of worms she regretted sticking her beak into.

“I be making my choice. I could have been selfish. I could have chosen her, but I chose you,” his scowl deepened, his hands balling into fists again, “and don’t you be misunderstanding, Nadia. I do love you. How I feel toward you changed from infatuation to something more genuine but you want to know why Amita left? Because I be breaking more than just her tusk.”

He jabbed a finger between Nadia’s breasts, “I be breaking her damn heart too.”

With that, he stormed out of the office, leaving Nadia to stare blankly at the floor, her face hot.

If only Amita were here.

OKAY WAIT LET ME EXPLAIN THE COLORS THING BECAUSE IT’S KIND OF FUNNY TL;DR AMITA HAS DEEP BLUE HAIR WITH VIBRANT GREEN HIGHLIGHTS AND SHE WEARS GOLD JEWELLERY A LOT SO LITERALLY NADIA WAS LIKE “OOOOOOOO THAT VOL’JIN I’M GONNA’ MAKE HIM WEAR AMITA’S COLORS” and idk why I thought that was so funny //SOBS

Actually my favorite part is where Nadia decides that YES she’s gonna get her panties in a twist over it because I can just see the argument comically ending there with both of them like “.... RIGHT WELL. OKAY. SURE.” //sobs moRE

#Air writes #//SCREAMS INTO THE DISTANCE I HOPE UR PLEASED #Vol'jin #Nadia Ravenscroft #ARGUMENTS ARE ACTUALLY REALLY REALLY HARD FOR ME TO WRITE??? #SO IT'S GOOD PRACTICE EITHER WAY BUT #PLS #DO NOT MAKE THIS A THING MY HEART #WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO TAKE IT I'M DIE #WoW #World of Warcraft #wow my tags ARE SUPER SPREAD OUT TODAY BUT AAAAA THERE IT IS

[debajanfeministuniverse-blog]

De Unmannerly Politics of Opening Doors

Well for de pass few days de only local conversation on my timeline has been responses to a status on FB created by an entertainer. De context of the conversation is that he (De Entertainer) was told to pay attention to the manners of those in Barbados and he did by conducting a very, very, VERY, (0.013 % of the population) small social experiment.

De Entertainer states:

“I purposely held the door open for 20 women going in or out of establishments, 3 said thank you, the others didn't even nod. I held it for 20 guys, 18 said thanks.”

His findings are simple:

90% of men said thank you to a man holding open a door for them. 

75% of women did not.

This experiment did not then go on to explore the findings of a  woman holding the door open for men and women, but no… why <sarcasm> would <sarcasm>it <sarcasm>?

Now whether this post was intended to turn into a woman-bashing post or not, it did. Loads of people mostly cis men, a few cis women then started to chime in talking about their experiences of how “mannerly de men dat does come into my shops does be” and how “unmannerly women nowadays are”.

And though it is decidedly infuriating, it’s also not unexpected. The discomfort of the privileged often overlooks the societal grievances of the oppressed. As usual, people decided bashing black Caribbean women would be the best course of action without truly delving into the reasons why such findings would occur.

So to make sense of it in my own head I made a couple lists to consider:

Reasons why people open doors for other people:  

Manners maketh ... someting? :

In Barbados we brought up to be polite. From the moment we are born we are steeped in behavioural conditioning.  The biblical commandment they make you recite from like five years old is “Honour thy father and thy mother”. There is a lot of emphasis on being “nice”, “respectful”, “well behaved” children and to carry that into adulthood. .

In this small island where everybody knows everybody, even at our own personal expense, we are always to be seen as polite. To do otherwise is a fringed activity. 

Now if you are like me, and believe everything feeds back into colonialism you might see the correlation between the myth that “all the good slaves were sent here”. And you might consider that the emphasis of “Bajans are nice” is taught to us at Primary school level. They tell us “Tourists come here for de sun, sand and nice people.” In other words be super nice to dem tourists fuh dem sweet-sweet tourist dollars. Never let yourself be a seen as a threat. Our country’s economic success depends on it.

Chivalry & gender politics: 

Obviously this “good” behaviour looks different in accordance to the gender society decided for you. If you are decided man, you are expected to be considered  “nice” or a “gentleman” if you do things for other people, and you get extra points for doing things for the women folk. This came from the European idea that vagina havers are somehow the “fairer” (read weaker) sex and need help with heavy things like, pulling out their own chairs and opening doors behind them. Because you know, uterus = weak wrists? 

If you are decided woman, then your “good” behaviour is determined by how you reward/respond to “good” men. Don’t sleep with them too quickly. Be wifey material. Be a mother. Be a grandmother, and never question why your life is solely for the purpose of others.

Ulterior motives:   

Which leads me to the quote I heard when growing up that “Chivalry was just an excuse for men to look at women’s asses”. A lot of men are conditioned to see “niceness” and perceived nice actions as a means to be rewarded for their masculinity. If I as man, give you a lift, I expect, “gas, grass or ass”. In other words, if I do something nice for you, I expect something in return. Either through sexual gratification, compliance, or the opportunity to check out a woman’s bumpa up close.

Flow of traffic: 

Aside from all that gendered stuff, sometimes assistance is just assitance. You know like how yuh should really let out de car trying to come out of a gap you going in, when you have right of way? Sometimes it just makes more sense to hold on, keep the people behind you, and leh de person in front pass to avoid collisions or blockages. It’s not that deep. Just practical.

Now, I’m  down for discussing the differences in gender experiences, as long as you truly want a discussion and not just a place to shout and scream about how unfairly you as man, has been treated by Bajan women simply because you didn’t get the kind of gratitude you wanted when opening a door. If that’s the platform you need, there are no rivers in Barbados as of yet, find a gully, cry in it, and make one fuh me do.

Reasons why  “thank you” may be missing: 

Thoughts are in other places: 

“If I buy dese lil groceries I gun really got enough money to cover dis month bills?”

“Cheezon bread dis sun real so & so hot doa”  

“WHA’ DE ACTUAL HELL  <INSERT NAME OF POLITICIAN HERE> NOW SAY?”   See people often have loads of thoughts happening all at once and sometimes the door gets opened and you literally don’t know how. Just respect de headspace and realize it aint about you, just task 3,006 on the to do list.

Entitlement: 

Iz true, some women conform and uphold the patriarchy and believe it is a man’s obligation to open the door. And some people just stush, dey come in barging pass you like they are the Queen and it is your civic duty, you plebian scum, to eliminate all barriers from Their Highness’s path. Doan mind dese divas, you are your own protagonist too. Admire their self centrism from far and carry on smartly.

Social anxiety:

People have mental health complications that sometimes prohibit them from “simply” saying thank you. The world is terrifying. Tasks are overwhelming. We need to learn to respect and be considerate to those that may have hard times navigating that.

Defiance against Compliance & gender dictations:

Even if this idea rubs you the wrong way, after centuries of the world telling women what they can and cannot ever so often, a woman comes to a state of “fuck dis”. Anger is a legitimate response to oppression. The anger isn’t necessarily directed at you, but at the whole system that has told this woman since she was young “you aint strong enough to get you own doors, you ain smart enough to get you own business”. In this moment remember, you opened de door out of your own heart, you consented to the door opening. It’s now their turn to consent to gratitude or not. You have done your part in society, the rest is up to them.

Avoiding a platform for harassment:

Men, yuh all can be trash. Too often I have done the “polite thing” and said “thank you”  to the security guard paid to open the door, only for them to take my quick politeness as a platform to mentally juk me down with harassment. And my experience is not unique. If you don’t live as women and do not understand what weapons of harassments we have to protect ourselves from daily, don’t disrespect our shields. All I’m asking for is the next time we do a social experiment, let’s ask women how many times they say “thanks” and the person who opened the door for them used that as an invitation to suggest something sexual or romantic.

Conclusion:

I hope after reading that I’ve provided some insight into the matter at hand. Sometimes it’s easier to judge what’s going on in another person’s head, and sometimes it’s not.

But remember:

Do not harass somebody for a “T’anks”

DO NOT HARASS THEM AFTER A “T’ANKS”

Do not pin your positive daily experiences on a  stranger’s “T’ANKS” that you may or may not receive and are NEVER entitled to.

If however, you refuse to listen to me and are determined to practice the mentioned above, den doan bodder opening de damn door in de first place. We good.

No t’anxs,

De Bajan Feminist.

#caribbeanfeminism genderpolitics openandshutcase unmannerly reclaimingmytime barbados discussion feminism feminist lifeinleggings

[blackkatmagic]

(opsYamanakabb!Deidara anon no longer in anon bc i hAVE GROWN TIRED OF BREAKIN DOWN ASKS)

GOSH im SO flattered you liked it so much i mean ..

anyways, i have resurfaced bc… well i thought of another thing? err

.

alright so backing up: on the road so far, inoshikacho plus sai have gone into a long and arduous mission of setting the long past wrongs into rights which means finding YAMANAKA deidara and i dunno actually doing sth about it?? and also somehow they acquired hidan for the trip back ??

so, what ive got is this: dei is probably super uncomfortable?? bc in one hand there is ino wanting to bond??? on the other is cho who is an actual legit cinnamon roll???? and to top it off the other one keeps eyeing him weird???? (shika cannot stop staring omfg and to think theres ppl out there callin him a genius) dei can feel himself becoming defensive!! aggressive defensive!!!! (like obvs the best defense is an attack?? or sth)

and so there is two. dei and hidan actually get into a lot of fights bc they just cant rlly understand each other– i mean w deis thing bein ‘momentary’ whats exactly the point of bein immortal?? where is the fun in that??? (hidan can totally show him the fun in that)

also surprisingly dei and sai get along quite well?? (i mean when hidan isnt hogging sai) they are artistic bros?? in so short a time?? (as the only person w common sense at this point, cho is keepin a careful eye from afar– surely the fact that sai gets along so well w the missing nin is vaguely concerning??)

*BREAK POINT**FORWARD A LOT*

so hidan is just chillin in konoha like ?? there is literally nothin they can do to him to make him care?? he is clearly superior™

anyway, hidan is chillin in konoha and somehow he overhears the true akatsuki plan (or he believes in conspiracy theorist sai so they have a headstart) and he is like outrageously offended!!! WHAT DO YOU FCKIN MEAN I H AVE BEEN WORKIN FOR SOME OTHER GOD?!?!?!! so clearly the only solution is to destroy akatsuki just annihilate everything there is no other option

so hidan goes on the warpath like THOSE FUCKERS THINK THEY ARE IMMORTAL I WILL FUCKING SHOW THEM IMMORTAL

or (fair warning, this is v crack now i mean)

hidan decides to be petty af and grabs sai to make the ultimate plan

(i actually havent watched shippuden soo might be a bit of on the execution for this one buut)

and so they go to the big ass statue and somehow they do magic bullshit fuuinjutsu stuff

and like in the climax of everything w the thing is ready to be activated and everyone is nOOooO

MOTHERFUCKER HIDAN POPS OUT LIKE LAUGHING YOU THOUGHT YOU HAD SEEN THE LAST OF ME BITCHES

and turns out hidan and his sidekick sai changed the thing so instead of liberating that rabbit moon goddess (??) the thing is now set to actually summon THE GREAT JASHIN-SAMA

everyone is speechless?? like ???? actual plot twist

hidan starts the thing

hidan is also bragging bc obvs he would be bragging

n some konoha nin (shika?? naru?? probs naru) turns to sai all what were you thinkin??!?! and sai be like i know it looks bad but– *konoha nin goes to save the day*

but the thing already started right? so they dont make it in time and the thing shakes the grounds shakes everything lights up like a goddamn light show annd–

it just… stops

everything goes back to normal like nothin to see here bruh and….

everyone suddenly becomes 1000% more suspicious bc where the fuck did it all go? 

to turns matters worse hidan starts laughing like a lunatic ?? sai goes to retrieve him– hidan needs his alone time now

and it takes months upon months before people start relaxing and a new meme starts as in jashinists rlly do get you all worked up but?? they just cant deliver amirite (obvs when hidan is not around bc he is still a psycho i mean)

and sai just shakes his head.. he only agreed to help bc he knew nothing would happen like bloodshed war rage and muder.. they are all already in the great era of jashin

(what hidan did was like prolong it for more years upon years to come)

.

maan what a ride

#submission by hlflores #OMG I'M CACKLING #pretty much crying ngl #oops Im writing it #yamanaka deidara #and I'm also somehow shipping hidan/sai??? #this is not okay #do you know how much social ineptness is in that pairing #do you #submission

[stormbros]

Alphabet Meme

Thanks @tori-alexide for tagging me!

Rules: Say something that begins with each letter of the alphabet, then explain what that word means to you. Then, tag 26 people to do it. 

A - Asexual - While my romantic tendencies seem to change by the day, I am very confident in this label. It took some time to accept, but I have never been happier.

B - Bitch - I might as well be honest; I am so fucking mean. 

C - Conspiracy Theories - This speaks for itself. I’m a ho-bag for conspiracy theories. No matter how far-fetched or stupid they are, they’re great.

D - Dragon Age - This series is my shit and I’ll fight anyone who tries to belittle it.

E - Extraterrestrials - Obviously aliens would be easier to say, but I felt asexual was more important for that letter. Basically I love aliens cause they cool.

F - Family - I was going to say friends, but they’re more of my family than my actual family. I love you guys <3

G - German - I’ve taken German for 4 years and know approximately 7 words.

H - Halloween - The best holiday because free candy, little kids in cute costumes, and no one judges my cosplay.

I - Immature - This is pretty self-explanatory. 

J - January - My birth month yo

K - Kuroko no Basuke - The sports anime that fucked me over and put me into hell.

L - Love - Idk it’s pretty important so

M - Movies - I am a movie junkie. I watch too many, have too many conflicting genre preferences, and need to not.

N - Notifications - If you regularly talk to me, you know that I do not reply quickly (or ever?). You better believe I see that notification; I just don’t feel like answering.

O - Overreact - I am the biggest drama queen? 

P - Procrastinator - I am in school, work, and writing hell

Q - Quiet - I’m p quiet if you don’t know me. Also quiet is my safe haven and I need it 23/7

R - Romantic - I am the biggest romantic?? Save me???

S - Sports Anime- I’m in hell. My family actually is starting to think I care about sports because I know a little from anime.

T - Teaching - I’m that asshole that wants to teach high-school level mathematic. 

U - USA - United States of Ass is where I live. Please save me and this country.

V - Vulcan - Star Trek is literally the greatest thing ever? Also I tried to learn Vulcan once. Didn’t end well.

W - Woman - Tis I, the cis-female.

X - X-Ray - I cannot tell you how many times I have been to the doctor this last year?

Y - Youtube - Aka how I procrastinate. Mostly gaming channels but a vlogger or two.

Z - Zero Fucks - I’m literally at the point where I don’t evem care. Probably not a good thing but yk.

I tag: @sunsetandstormclouds @armus2000 @mcdonald-trumpinatti @iruvanime @r0ryy @aquila0altaire @dei-ryuu @tsuyuirihiro @everyoneelse? yeah I have no idea who else. Just do this if you want to <3

#me #about me #shut up all #tag meme #I'm so boring?? #long post