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todayisafridaynight · 1 year

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YEAH........... YEAH..... LIKEWISE, NO NOTES AT ALL, THAT'S EXACTLY IT... Main antagonist deaths are often treated as "comeuppance," but that would be the ultimate comeuppance for Aoki. As it stands, the only people who actually suffer for it are Ichiban and Jo, and Ichi didn't even do anything wrong. Also please I'm positive there's more to wring out of Aoki and Jo for an essay 😭😭at the very least, I always love to hear your perspective!

"he'd made a social circle for himself where people predominantly liked him for the power and influence" <- incredibly Mine-core of Aoki btw (I also feel the rest applies a little in terms of Mine probably being very quick to write off people who Do care about him as not caring about him, as with Katase, but it's nowhere near the extent of the Arakawas)

Wait actually it's kind of funny... for both Mine and Aoki, I was so sure their endings would go a certain way. Mine and Kiryu'd fight Richardson off together and Ichi'd, I don't know, shield Aoki or hug him so Kume couldn't get to him in the first place, or after that INSANE direct parallel to Arakawa running to the hospital with Masato, he'd miraculously pull through like he did on New Year's. Tormented with visions of the better timeline... With Aoki in particular, it makes me want to tear my hair out because the moment of him choosing to put the gun in the locker was REVOLUTIONARY for the series, looking at the characters he was most heavily based on.

Anyway. Bottom line. These bitches need to hug it out. It was so evil Arakawa didn't hug Ichi at Omi HQ or on the waterfront like bro stop being """manly""" for five seconds you're ruining my life you're ruining your own lives

There'd genuinely be nothing more painful yet more satisfying for an antagonist than being confronted with the consequences of their actions and having to navigate life after having making those decisions, ESPECIALLY when it comes to mending the bonds that- for anyone else- would have shattered long ago. With Aoki being motivated by the want to be loved and appreciated for himself, it would've been nice to see him finally acknowledge that he did have that love and start to better himself as a result (however much he'd be able to while in prison anyway lmao).

The Mine and Aoki comparisons are so real though, I remember joking to myself about it days after beating the game but it just fuels my mental illness every time I think about it ☠️ I LEGALLY AM NOT ALLOWED TO GO OFF ABOUT THE Y7 ENDING I'VE DONE IT TOO MUCH it makes me so mad every time I think about it 😭 ESPECIALLY THE PARALLELS WITH ARAKAWA AND THE LOCKERS UGGGHHH IT COULD HAVE BEEN SUCH AN EPIC CONCLUSION WITH THAT... Arakawa running from the lockers at the start of Aoki's life compared to Ichiban running from the lockers and getting Aoki to the hospital so Aoki can restart life I'm Going To Kill Someone (myself) (in Minecraft)

#snap chats #theres a note here about aoki's self hatred and ergo his inability to believe people could love him without 'worth'#and some kind of. I Dont Know occurs that comes with aoki accepting that love and ergo At Least Tolerating himself #and again becoming better as a person as a result. not WHOLLY you cant undo Everything Wrong With Him with one therapy session #but itd at least be a start and thats far more than anything else rgg has given since like. ryuji in dead souls #but w/e i- as per usual- have the vocabulary of a walrus so we're just gonna have to imagine i said something profound #AND THE LACK OF HUGGING IN THIS FRANCHISE IM GOING TO STAB ALL OF YOU. IN MINECRAFT.#with the power of delusions and this like seven-year-old wacom tablet i can fix that......#it'll never be enough it'll never fill the void in my soul but it'll be something i guess #BUT UGH NO SORRY IM JUST MAD NOW #nothing in my life has ever genuinely triggered anger in me than the y7 ending its just soooooooOOOOO #IT WAS SOOO CLOSE TO BEING PERFECT I CANT #im going to give myself a blood clot thinking about it anymore i feel my heart stopping Do Not Call An Ambulance I Cannot Afford It #so to stop myself from going in any more debt than i already am..... the possibility of any essays from me are very small #my ability to use words is near non existent. i feel like a right ninny sometimes #in any case im not sure what else i could expand on that isn't restating what you've said #cant ever be upset with bein on the same wavelength tho it gives my inarticulate ass a helluva easier time trying to explain LMAO #plus im petrified of trying to interpret anything from the english dub or english subs #and looking into language use is Very Much important when dissecting abusive relationships #i guess there's always just talking about general actions committed and not inspecting the exact words used #idk.. at the very least ill rotate the concept in my head and then fend off the urge to eat my teeth #i'm gonna throw up.... im still thinking of it........ gonna make an unrelated-but-arguably-related post in like three seconds #dont look at it its cringe

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tardis--dreams · 8 months

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#tw eating issues #say it with me #we do not work out to burn calories but to feel good and do something nice for ourselves #working out is not a punishment and is supposed to be fun and not make us feel like we didn't do enough #we do not care about how many calories any food we eat has #we will not restrict our food intake #the number of calories in food is irrelevant #the number on the scale is irrelevant #the way our body looks is irrelevant #jesus christ how do i have to teach my brain all of this all over again #why is it doing this to me lmao #stop being so obsessed with numbers #what is it about numbers that makes my brain go so insane #i have really stop all thoughts related to food and calories and weight and my body #no more obsessing over numbers #no more arbitrary rules related to food #this is so annoying #i really cannot believe it got that bad again #ffs we've been over this a billion times. and yet.#I'll be in another city over the next 4 days so maybe that's an opportunity to really focus on life rather than weightcaloriesfoodexercise #exams are coming up. i still have 2 term paper deadlines this month. there's a country I've never been before outside my room that i could #explore #i don't think the way I'm spending my days here is quite. right..#void screams #tbd probably #resetting my brain real quick

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choface · 8 months

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i wrote 2300 words tonight. are yall fucking ready for my first steddie fic?

#coming soon to an ao3 near you #at long fucking last #my dumb little fic #steddie beddie #i cannot believe i am making it in under my dumbass arbitrary deadline #of getting a steddie fic posted before the big bang starts #lmao miracles happen #i've been writing for four hours #looool #and for once in my life i don't have a tumblr fic post ready to go ahead of time #tomorrow's problem #sweet surrender

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margareit · 10 months

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ALIEN IS COMING TO DEAD BY DAYLIGHT

#I ACTUALLY NEARLY CRIED WATCHING THE TRAILER IM EMBARRASSED TO SAY BUT JESUS CHRIST #IVE HOPED FOR THIS LICENSE THE WHOLE 3 YEARS IVE BEEN PLAYING #I CANT BELIEVE IT #THIS IS THE BEST LICENSE THIS GAME WILL EVER HAVE #🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹#for YEARS ppl have said alien would never go to dbd bc of the licensing issues and it’s own game #I STOPPED HOPING BUT I NEVER STOPPED DREAMING #this game is about to be actually scary again #bro #the xenomorph running at me with its shrieking scream at 10 feet tall I’ll have an aneurism #I’ll dc in real life bro #gracie talks #dead by daylight #alien #I CANNOT STRESS HOW EXCITED I AM #I DID MY HECKIN DISSERTATION ON THIS FILM LMAO #THIS IS LITERALLY THE BEST DAY EVER #now bring stranger things back 🫡🪓

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swervestrickland · 11 months

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me, anxiety ripping through me as we sit grounded on a plane unable to leave: this is what the wrestlers go through every week emi. fucking cowboy up

#never in my life have i seen 40 mfs volunteer to get off a plane when they were guaranteed a free hotel stay and new connecting flight #now i am late when i couldve barely made my connection after the possible maintenance issue #and lmao….i just cant #they have to take off all these mfs’ luggage bc its an international flight #i cannot fucking believe this

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mushroom-for-art · 1 year

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Part 3 of Shadow au, Syns making progress! I think! He thinks! We don't know! Also added some extra stuff to this one because I was inspired by the height chart art using Darkness' extra sharp design so woo! Enjoy your boy @seasidemew! This part was actually meant to be bit heavier but lmao I've changed the order of my canon it's fine lmao so you get another relaxing one

Conversations and Progress

The dark hued two delicately landed in the middle of the makeshift camp, the grass was soft and cool under her feet as she glanced wearily to the side, her pink toned brother snuffled in his sleep stretching wiggling made a mrrp and rolling over with an exhale returning to lightly snoring as she let out a faint sigh of relief. He didn't actually know her yet, they'd never met and frankly after what happened she intended to keep it that way.

The orange hued two lifted her head from where she sat leaning against a tree looking at her sister with dark bags forming under her eyes. She stood slowly motioning with her head and stepped out of the campsite walking a small distance before stopping and waiting for her taller sister.

"What has he asked then?" May hugged herself as she asked the question, thumbs rubbing her arms softly in self soothing motions as she turned her head to glance at her sibling.

"This and that, he still wonders how and why we know each other and he's suggested his own theories he thinks we have a truce or blackmail on each other. And he's been asking what we've been saying about him naturally."

The orange one hummed uncomfortably squeezing her own arms, "and are you still being safe? He's not threatened you or followed you back to your nest?"

"No, not yet, he's moved as if to join me on the flight home but I told him I needed my beauty sleep and my privacy and I didn't like a man that disrespected either of those." She shrugged casually, "it seemed to work."

"Citrine… you really must be more careful..if he, I don't know he might turn if he thinks you're just screwing with him or get real nasty if he gets bored of the games."

"I know.." Her tail swayed, "I know. I'm being careful don't worry so much May, you should be thinking of yourself more I mean look at those bags. Are they designer? You could steal a purse with them when did you last get a proper nights' sleep?"

May looked away squeezing herself, "not since I thought I saw him that night… not properly since finding out I was right.." She shook her head looking back at her sister, "But it's my JOB to worry about you and to worry about Matt. I'm the oldest, you're my baby sister and he's my baby brother. I can't just sleep peacefully knowing he might lurk into camp and slaughter either of you."

Darkness grimaced to herself "May.." She felt Mays hands grab her face reaching up with some difficulty for the height difference.

"No, don't you May me, you're family okay? And I care about you a lot so I'm gonna worry."

She sighed, moving to take her sisters' wrists, planning to move her hands off her face, "you're too forgiving all things considering with me you know."

"You've grown and you've changed, I know you feel bad over what happened because you push away any kindness thinking you don't deserve it, but you do. I mean you keep checking in on us and watching that, that guy for us even though he could be a threat to you. AND hush hush ehp not finished close your mouth, and you're trying to change your identity claiming a new name moving on from being Darkness, and I'm really proud of you for it. Maybe I am too forgiving but I think you've earned the forgiveness."

Darkness hummed awkwardly looking away with her eyes, "I mean the whole experimental new names thing is personal because the name was dumb not some, spiritual metaphor." She moved Mays hands to emphasis the denial of self flinching and pulling her hands away when May winced.

"Ah-!" May looked at the bloody little marks on her wrist and frowned before grabbing one of her sisters hands who tried to retract them pulling it close to examine, she squeezed one of her fingers hearing her hiss in discomfort as a jagged crystal protruded from her paw like a claw.

"What did you do…" her voice was soft and deeply concerned as she examined Darkness' hand noticing the spikes protruding from her wrist also, "Citrine…"

"Dont…that names too nice for me.." She sighed softly, "I saw him. During the day fighting a Mega evolved Aggron. It didnt stand a chance… I got, scared, and panicked so I added more to myself to be stronger so if he turns nasty, if I have to fight him it'll give me the edge and extra strength."

"That must hurt.."

"It's not so bad, rather ache now and win then avoid needed pain and lose."

"I don't agree with you doing this to yourself, but it's done now.. If it comes to it you know I'd fight by your side against him."

"You're such a mother sometimes." Darkness chuckled softly, "I suppose I like the sound of those odds." May gently released her hand.

"Just please don't do anything else like this to yourself okay? Cause I don't want it turning into a self punishment thing. I know you because you're like me, you're from me, I am your mother." Though her tone was stern it did end in a playful way as she offered her sister a comforting smile.

"Hm, fine sure whatever mom," Darkness laughed softly, "I should go entertain him then for a bit, don't want him getting too bored or jealous." Moving to step away.

"Please stay." She paused at Mays request, "I, want Matt to meet you and I just, I have a bad feeling tonight. I don't know I feel bad letting you leave to go to him. I worry you won't come back. So, stay? You can have my bed." Darkness swished her tail smiling softly to her sister, usually she'd argue about having to go but to some degree she'd been wanting to meet her little brother too even if she was anxious with his initial negative experience with shadow mewtwo. "and I might actually sleep better tonight with you both nearby and safe!"

"aah fine I guess you've convinced me," smiling casually she watched Mays shoulders drop in relief as they moved to walk back to the camp.

"I think Matt will love you once he gets to know you realize who you are...and I think you're wrong Citrine is a nice name for you you deserve a good name and I think you should get a name that's pretty. Like Crystal or Jewel or uh Diamond or Moonstone." Darkness snorted softly.

"I'm noticing a theme here," smirking as May floundered.

"Well you said Citrine was a gem so like eehh was trying to think of other gem things I thought you liked it for that?"

"Well, it's like a yellow gem and it's kinda pretty..though it was his suggestion before he swapped to Citrus cause I got the two confused."

"Ah yes orange scented," May lightly bumped into her sister playful as they walked into camp, "I mean you're a pretty gem, it's up to you what you choose."

Darkness hesitated for a moment, "I, was thinking of maybe looking at M starting names…since like you and Matt..but that's probably intruding.."

May smiled at her comfortingly, "Hey that'd be nice, or if you pick an A starting name we could become M A M." Darkness lightly hit her face shoving her away as she laughed.

"Never mind I'm never taking suggestions from you ever," but she laughed fondly as May chuckled in mischievous motioning for Darkness to take her bed, a few leaves carefully arranged on the ground for padding against the dirt just as cushioning the best they could do considering they were out in the wilds with no equipment.

Darkness moved to sit but pointed at her in play threat, "you better sleep." With May putting her hands up in surrender before moving to find a spot to sit to sleep as Darkness awkwardly tried to get comfortable. She missed her cot back at her nest but she appreciated the gesture and that her sister wanted her there. She stretched out and then curled up using the middle of her tail as a cushion. May found a tree trunk to lean against, she looked up past the treeline scanning the sky for a moment before taking off her glasses carefully placing them down on the grass besides her before as she brought her knees to her chin crossing her arms over her knees and nuzzling her cheek into her arm crook to sleep.

From far away higher up, Syns tail swayed and thumped aggressively into the tree trunk of the branch he was sitting on. He scanned over the area where the pair had made camp watching the other shadow pokemon join them as his brows furrowed in frustration and confusion, why was she staying there?? What about their chats? His tail thumped the tree trunk in frustration again.

He moved to stand and stepped casually from the branch he was stood on to fly over, if she wasn't going to come see him he'd go see her. He felt the air shifting as he grew closer, a subtle but tangible building of energy as he approached causing him to slow but not stop. The air shimmered and he stopped before he flew right into the shining white dome that materialized feeling the sharp gust caused by its sudden creation. He watched it glisten a shine of white before fading and wondered what that was, he reached a hand out with practiced caution feeling his fingers collide with something solid the white shimmer reappearing where his fingers made impact.

"A protect huh…" He pulled his hand back and the glow faded but as he observed where the dome had originally formed there was a slight haze to indicate it's existence that it wasn't gone just simply blending into its surroundings. He started to wonder how a protect this large and powerful could form as his eyes glanced to the campsite, Mays whited over eyes stared forward without seeing glowing with psychic energy. He should've guessed.

Judging by the size and strength of the protect, he theoretically COULD smash his way through it if he really went for it but watching her eyes roll back and her body slump to the ground gave him the impression it was a subconscious move and breaking it might actually wake her. Besides, there's no way it'd last forever. He'd wager by morning it would've weakened or faded. Sighing just a little annoyed he moved to go find a new perch to watch them more closely he supposed.

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Syn grumbled as rays of light beamed offendingly right into his face, he squinted at the sun with a faint growl lazily moving his hand to shove a cloud over it for five more minutes as he wiggled his shoulders to readjust himself against his tree trunk. As he tried to return to his sleep his brain became aware of the lack of psychic tension that had been present the night before practically dragging his thoughts around to force him into an awake state to which he groaned softly squinting to the side of camp, he blinked his tired eye momentarily mistaking glistening droplets of water as the haze around the protect before realizing it was in fact gone.

Slightly unhappily he sat up to properly peer at the campsite, it was early first light and they were all still asleep. He could've easily approached but also he didn't want to trigger another protect, he'd wait till May was at least conscious deducing she'd be less likely to do anything spontaneously powerful with an awake brain.

The Pinky one, Matt or something had managed to roll off of his makeshift leaf bed in the night and had contorted himself into an obscure position with his head touching his lower back nearly, legs stretched backwards and tail wrapping around the tip resting near his chest. Citrine meanwhile had curled herself up quite small into a ball much like other feline creatures. And May was still flopped out on the floor, chin in the grass body twisted so her legs were still up as she was sat which would probably put an ache on her spine.

The sun won its battle against Syns block cloud and the sunlight gently warmed the leaves and grace dancing over the sleeping lot in the campsite with only May grumbling her legs finally falling in a flop as she rolled over to hide her face from the sun before clumsily sitting up and promptly bashing the side of her head into the tree trunk she'd originally been leant again with clearly no spacial awareness. Syn did a mock flinch to himself quietly chuckling as she quietly groaned rubbing the side of her head with a soft "ow" as she slowly got to her feet grabbing her glasses and waddling off to the side.

Syn contemplated walking into the camp with her gone, maybe he could grab her brother as a bargaining chip or drag Citrus away to find out why she abandoned their usual talks but he knew that wouldn't really help him get closer to his goal. He couldn't force May or Citrus to reveal their secrets, couldn't intimidate or threaten them into wanting to join him because they could attack him and would likely reject him. He had to play it calm and he had to be approachable, he was a charming guy he just had to let May see that like how Citrus did.

He sighed softly collecting himself with an inhale and exhale running a hand past his eye to clear away any sleep and smoothly feeling up his horn, he was quite the specimen after all he's sure they could both see that. He moved casually to glide along to see where May went, he didn't want Citrus mad that he ruined her beauty sleep after all.

He was glad by the lack of energy in the air it meant his theory was correct and it was subconscious otherwise another barrier would have appeared as he passed her siblings. He found her knelt by a small stream, her glasses carefully placed down beside her, her head was currently under the water and making bubbles with her head slightly shaking before she sat up and breathed and shook her head again to shake the water off. She squinted past the water on her eyelashes making opening her eyes and seeing kind of difficult. In her side vision she could make out a darker colored shape before she brought her hands up to rub her eyes to clean the sleep away and to clean her face from the grass and mud stuck under her chin.

"G'morning sis," She yawned past her hands cleaning her face, "sleep well?"

"Oh," the male voice that reached her ears caused her to stiffen in terror, "so she's your sister?" Mays head whipped around as she shoved herself quickly against the floor to half stumble and half throw herself backwards scrambling away from Syn as he drank water collected in his hand from the stream. He turned to look at her as she fell into a sit at a distance from him, he could see her eyes were wide and breathing rapidly.

He couldn't deny feeling a bit disappointed at the reaction, the fight had been a while ago surely she would've gotten over it by now and besides he knows Citrus and her have been talking so he didn't get what the reaction was for. He moved his hand to pick up her forgotten glasses holding them out to her.

"I think you need these, right?" Her eyes were trained on him watching his every move down to the flick of his tail. "Look I don't want to fight, I'm not here to hurt you I just wanna talk." He offered one of his dashing smiles and the sight of his sharp teeth sent a feeling of dread through her.

He could see she was thinking locked in place unable to decide what to do, he in this moment kind of held the glasses over her because she needed them so she couldn't flee safely without them but he could see she didn't feel comfortable staying either. It was frustrating he was hoping for a warmer reception but he kept his face steady letting his brows fall in a sad kind of way rather than displaying frustration, acting sad instead of showing his real emotions.

"I'm sorry, I must have really hurt you huh?" He copied the tone of someone genuinely apologetic quite well, he didn't necessarily feel bad about the fight or aftermath. She was a rival, a meal at the time. How was he to know she was interesting? He lifted the glasses with his purple psychic energy and moved them over to her as a peace offering.

She hesitated before slowly taking them and he watched her at least pause to put them on as she looked at him again rather than immediately bolting. He kept the sad look on his face lowering his head as if ducking in apology or embarrassment as she watched him uncertainly.

She didn't move for a moment watching him as he moved to look at the water as if he was unable to bear looking at her, internally impressed with his acting skills. He heard her quietly shifting but it didn't sound like she was standing, she adjusted from her terrified position into a slightly more comfortable sit making sure it was a position she could easily move from. She watched him blinking a bit in confusion as she observed him.

Darkness had said he was much more civilized when she spoke with him, flirty even but not looking for a fight and not aggressive. She'd assumed he only acted that way because Darkness had a crystal too, but he was acting kind of normal now.

"Uhm," May uncertainly coughed into her hand to clear her throat, "I'm, gonna, go…" She moved to awkwardly stand saying, "enjoy the, water?" then cringing to herself as she turned to return to camp awkwardly. He turned his head to look at her watching her go, part of him having wanted her to stay to be fascinated by his good behavior to want to know all she could and he was a bit annoyed she didn't seem to care. He did also know it was to some degree a win, had she attacked him it meant she still saw him as a threat so clearly she must be somewhat intrigued by him.

"May?" She froze a bit at him knowing her name it felt so strange coming from his mouth uncertainly turning her head to look at him, "I am genuinely sorry for what I did, I'm trying to do better with this," he touched his shoulder around the crystal feigning pain and sorrow, "so I hope I can make it up to you and your brother someday." He gave her a smile that seemed genuine and she almost found herself fully believing him. With a shy smile she nodded unsure how to answer that at all and walked away to camp.

When her back turned Syns smile fell into a disappointed scowl, he put his head in his hand and he wrinkled his nose in frustration knowing no more than he did for trying this. He only hoped that he'd planted the seeds and he'd be able to reap the harvest later, if she did believe him then he could start to worm his way in. If her and Citrus were sisters and had a rocky past he's sure he could work it out with her too.

May walked back to camp feeling confused and anxious, her heart was still thumping despite nothing having happened but she knows it could've. And yet he seemed quite sad… She couldn't deny she did in fact feel a bit bad just abandoning him there on his own lonesome but what could she even say to him? And how could she justify just sitting being friendly with the Pokemon who tried to murder her brother? She sighed a bit to herself and stopped, she should've maybe at least asked his name. Should she go back? Would it be weird to? If he was sorry and did want to fix it wouldn't it be polite to be able to address him by name? Mutually extend the opportunity of healing? If he's just 'that Mewtwo who tried to kill Matt' in her mind isn't that a bit cruel?

She groaned to herself debating and awkwardly walking back, he was still sat by the water and he seemed to be lost in his own thoughts, after some more mental debating she cleared her throat making him quickly look towards her, seeming a bit startled which in turn startled her.

"I, uh, sorry, I… never got your name?" She felt awkward just saying it she should've just kept walking. He looked at her and she could only imagine how much he was judging her, meanwhile Syn had to hide the want to break into a victorious smirk, she wanted to know his name and there's no way she'd want to know that if she wasn't thinking about him.

"Syn, you can call me Syn." He smiled at her giving another dashing smile and it weirdly didn't fill her with dread this time, she smiled a bit nodding at him in understanding.

"Syn..well, um nice to officially meet you, you already know my name but uh I'm May." She felt awkward as he looked at her smiling, but it felt a bit weird not introducing herself back. She thought about what to say next until she heard Matt yelling in the distance.

"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU WHERE'S MAY?!"

She flinched a bit at the volume with an oof, "I gotta go do uh damage control, bye!" She moved to run back to camp, stopping to lean back into view, "Syn." giving a wave before sprinting back to explain everything.

Syns' tail swayed up and down, content with the turn of events. He grinned satisfied to himself as he stood up thinking that May was indeed very interested in him. He'd be back later though it seemed like the pair was becoming a trio and the change in chemistry may cause difficulties. But, he counted this as a win overall. Maybe Citrus had put in a good word for him.

#My writing #@seasidemew oc #@seasidemew syn #I don't think this needs any tags for once holy moly #But like if you feel it needs any let me know obviously #Darkness choose a name challenge 2023 XD #She's experimenting lmao I'll let her be actually but I think I'm funny that when he's thinking of her he calls her Citrus #Also sibling moments she loves her sis a lot #And Darkness just there like secretly terrified of Syn #Also lmao Syn is so grumpy in my writing. Mad Citrus doesn't do their usual talks mad at sun mad May isn't infatuated with him #Life is SO unfair for Syn XD #He's just here like um excuse me I'm being a sad little meow meow here you're meant to forgive me and be interested in me now #Like what do you MEAN you're still negatively affected by that fight we had that was like 4 months ago why aren't u over it XD #Syn wants her to be interested in him so bad XD like hello??? I'm interesting?? Be interested!!#But also what a manipulative lying lil fucker just oh :( oh Yea I feel awful :(#May: *asks for Syns name because she wants to extend an olive branch believing his acting*#Syn: god I just can't keep the woman off of me #This is also important like building blocks for the next fic lmao because now the idea of Syn actually being a good boy has been planted m #And since she was just earlier talking about how darkness has redeemed herself she'll be thinking huh maybe he can be redeemed too #Spoilers he cannot probably who knows but he lie and fib and May unfortunately sees the best in people #Tw blood mention #Dangit XD

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haarute · 1 year

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reading posts about people noticing things that you do being its own form of love, and then thinking that the thought of being perceived at all is actually terrifying to me because i cannot imagine a situation where that wouldn't be a criticism of my person. and the realization that this is not supposed to be the case is wild to me lmao.

#for context: i just saw a post that was about someone singing again while cooking after a period of depression #and their roommate being glad that there's singing once again and the place isn't silent anymore. and how this is a sign of people caring.#people enjoying your presence.#but i would feel HORRIFIED if someone told that to me.#because it is impossible for me to think that isn't a negative comment.#not necessarily because i think the other person would be mean-spirited. but because i genuinely don't see a lot of good in myself.#and i cannot possibly believe anyone would think things about me in a positive light because negatives are all that there is to think about #it's just a fact of life that i am annoying or whatever. none of us should make a big deal out of it. just leave me alone please.#this is also why i don't really take compliments. i am Averse to people who keep complimenting me.#i've been flirted on by excessive compliments and i'm like lmao you're only distancing yourself from your goal further and further #but like. i am learning that while this is such an ingrained part of my being since i was a child #maybe it's not normal to feel this way Actually.#you know i keep saying my sister has done irreparable damage to my psyche but the more i think about it the more true it becomes lmao #not that she's at fault alone. but like. she's probably the biggest offender.#anyway. there's a lot of things fundamental to my person that i'm starting to question only recently #and i don't know if there's any fixing other than like. forcibly removing all of the parts that i don't like.#because i don't think there's any convincing for me. i am pretty stubborn after all.#so we'll see how this develops. bleh.

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haldanare · 1 year

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apparently i am now infantilizing someone if i feel bad that a 19 yr old is going to drown at the bottom of the ocean

#piss poor reading comprehension on this site etc etc #yeah im vaguebloggin for the first time in my life lmao #i CANNOT believe someone is mad that i made a post about feeling bad about some kid #who is probably gonna die horrifically #or be traumatised for life #lau posts #the nolo track tag

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lanternlightss · 1 year

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Hi yes I am looking at "to see the sky and sea" please elaborate 👀

shsjsjdkrkdlsk your wish is my command!

thank you for enabling me u_u

under the cut because i’m gonna ramble a Lot XD godbless the read more option

okay okay so first off: this all starts when nameless bard is Still Recovering from his Life-Threatening injuries. (actually, BOTH amos and and nb are recovering!)

so now when rag and gunnhildr get into a fight that venti cannot mediate they just 😦✌️to nb’s tent. rag always ends up dragging them back to Wherever the crew has set up shop but somehow venti always ends up back at nb’s side…..

trying to remember what i named nb in this au. it might’ve been cecil again……. hmm……..

actually vito (alive, life) would be so fucking funny—especially since nb and amos nearly die at one point during recovery.

anyways! got off topic a little! back on track….

so. so. ragnvindr has Many Many issues with venti taking vito’s form—most notably, he believes that vito does not want to be an image of worship.

(which. vito Doesn’t want to be, yeah. but, like, he’s never told rag that. a lot of misunderstandings come from rag assuming vito is going to die and putting words into his mouth.

he tries to do something of the same with amos, but stops soon after, because. amos would absolutely try to kick his ass. why he thinks vito won’t, who knows….

venti is very upset about that, because they are vito’s bestie and they know much more about him than anyone else does. ragnvindr hasn’t seen vito have countless breakdowns over the what-ifs and should-beens, he hasn’t seen vito at any low or high of his life up until this point. why does—why does he get ANY say in this matter?

but they keep that to themself, because the group is already so close to falling apart, and they don’t. they don’t want to lose any of them.

they can’t.)

to add insult to injury ragnvindr hardly ever visits amos or vito during their recovery. but when he Does, he’s strangely silent throughout it all. during visits to vito, he keeps an intense watch on venti the entire time, even waking up out of a dead sleep so he can continue watching.

it’s like he’s scared of venti.

it…. well, that doesn’t feel good, for one.

venti and gunnhildr are the ones to visit the most, and while gunnhildr visits amos the most, venti tries to give them both equal amounts of attention. they still, ah, do end up coming by vito’s tent more often XD.

mostly to sleep by them. (they can’t go to sleep without vito…)

because of this, venti is actually the first to see when vito awakes. they wake up to a hand running through their hair!

(and then they alert everyone by uprooting every flora in vicinity through the power of unbridled joy—)

so now vito is awake! and when he learns of what the hell has been going on with the other three, he’s very very pissed off!

he has quite a talk with ragnvindr (and a little talk with gunnhildr XD), and they manage to settle things…….. only for an absolute shit-fest to occur when ragnvindr keeps finding problems with venti taking vito’s form.

(also venti once entertained vito by taking many different forms and when vito asked them if they could look exactly the same, they kinda maybe completely forgot to change back—

um. yeah. that did not go well…….)

anyways so gunnhildr worships barbatos, vito is okay with barbatos because of the fact that venti is his friend, and ragnvindr does not like barbatos. (amos is still fighting for her life. tfw ur god lover took all the air out your lungs and fucked up your veins and nerves trying to take you out with him.)

but, as vito once puts it: “would you rather it be someone else, say, another decarabian? i imagine that andrius fellow would’ve made such an Amazing god, huh.”

hm. then again, ragnvindr tells vito he better be prepared to kill venti if they ever start to become like decarabian.

ah, such a pity, though.

vito could never lay a hand on venti.

#when amos wakes up you best believe she gives them all the scolding of a life time #still though #amos learns to accept the new god (though she’s a little distant. doesn’t wanna get hurt again…..)#but ragnvindr fucks off because he Cannot. he cannot #not trying to blame ragnvindr #venti was an absolute mess and gunnhildr rushing to their rescue whenever something went wrong #(and with the sparkle of a women prepared to die for her god at that)#wellllllll……. that didn’t help!#but yeah #seeing venti act miserable as vito did. not improve ragnvindrs mood #he keeps warning everyone and vito just throws all caution to the wind one day to fight him XD #“im going to pull my stitches out for this you fu—”#venti and ragnvindr still traumatizing each other despite everyone being alive…… sorry guys 😔#vito attempts to play neutral but damn. they do not take kindly to any insults towards venti #“id like to see YOU try!”#bsjsjsjsjs anemo archon ragnvindr lmao #they make up sometime in the future #but yeesh #the beginning did not go well at all #lantern replies #to see the sky and sea au #this au is just “how badly can ragnvindr cope with all of this”#the answer? A LOT.#mutuals !

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