#can you tell ive thought about this since the first time i ever watched rots?

[anarchy-and-piglins]

It takes a while before Phil even convinces them to tell him where Techno’s room is.

There’s red tape he has to get through first, causing frustrations that only his job experience can waylay. Hospitals are stricter about these types of things than a lot of other places and no matter how Phil spins the situation, Technoblade and him are not related. Not in a way that matters to these people. It’s been ages since Phil had to pull out his credentials as Techno’s case worker, he isn’t a minor anymore so technically the title bears no weight. But it makes one pale-faced nurse purse her lips and send him on his way with some hesitation. Phil finally ends his call with Ranboo, who is still in a panic.

Not that Phil can blame the kid. From what he hears, the situation Ranboo found Techno in did not paint a pretty picture.

Phil knows stress has been wearing down on Techno’s shoulders. The flower shop doing poorly, his biological parents suddenly being back in the picture, his magic becoming more unpredictable by the day. Things haven’t been easy.

but he never thought Techno would do something so drastic.

He opens the door without knocking, knowing Techno wouldn’t mind. But the man standing next to the bed draws up to his full height, a crease in his brow at being intruded upon. When his eyes glide off Technoblade, Phil swears he notices his friend’s shoulders sag notably in relief.

“Oh,” the man before him says. “It’s you.”

Phil takes a step closer, braving the storm, only focusing on Techno for the moment. He doesn’t let the cold, red eyes burning into him deter him. “Technoblade, are you okay? What happened? You gave me the fucking fright of a lifetime, mate, I’ll tell you that much.”

Techno opens his mouth as if he’s going to respond, fingers fidgeting with the IV stuck into his hand. Before he can, his father cuts in.

“He’s fine.”

“Ranboo told me what happened.” Phil cuts straight to the chase. He’s too tired to play games. “Why did you-“

And once again it’s that horrible man known as the blood god among his peers who responds. “I don’t know what you heard, but it was a simple accident.” He steps closer to Technoblade, hand reaching out for his shoulder. Techno flinches, but doesn’t stop him. When his father’s touch brushes his skin, Techno whines. The bracelet glows a faint purple. Phil watches a flower burst from Techno’s palm unbidden, wilting into rot immediately.

“Tell him,” Techno’s father commands simply.

“It was an accident.” Techno says, voice tiny. He hasn’t looked at Phil once since he came in. “I just… I just stupidly forgot I’d already taken my sleeping meds. Typical, huh?” Techno laughs, sounding like it physically hurts. His pink hair falls over his face, his cheek. It doesn’t completely hide the bruise there.

“That’s not-“ Another step closer, desperation clawing at Phil’s throat. “You know you can tell me anything, Techno. I can get you help.”

“Phil.” That deep voice calls out to him once more. But this time, Phil sinks into it. It rushes over him like a wave. he gets lost in it.

When Technoblade’s father smiles, there is no joy to it except that of a predator with its prey at its mercy.

“It was an accident.” The words are spoken so simply, so straightforward. "So you can leave now."

Phil suddenly can’t remember why he’d ever doubt them in the first place.

“An accident,” he answers faintly. Blinking takes too much effort. He rubs a hand down his face. “Yeah, of course. I uh- I need to call back Ranboo. You can get in touch if you need anything.”

Technoblade nods, still not looking at him. Phil leaves the room without another question.

#technoblade #philza #thoughts #Shara writes #No context for you #I don't know if the people I originally wrote this for even give a shit but tada #suicide attempt tw #It's only alluded to but it's there

[sobachyakukla]

i like to sit out back & pretend im hanging out with a bunch of alt-leftists in the one world army. its neat. i pretend im hanging out with a bunch of people who laugh at the things i say & i laugh with them, & they make me laugh with the thoughts they beam to my brain & what i beam back is great too. & then we just chill in our little fried people only lounge. see ive made the mistake of making my mother seem cooler than she is to people in my life, all my life. leonid was allowed to stay the night one night & he started playing guitar & she kept coming out to tell him to stop. "i have to work in the morning". i mean, she did, & it was kind of rude to play guitar while someone was trying to sleep. it was wild that we were even allowed to have the tv on playing Harold & Maude. we watched it & when i knew she was asleep i went in my room & got the book of shadows i was making to bring out & show him. i showed him my tarot cards & he like them, told me they were really neat. he liked my book of shadows too. this is right when i was skipping school all of the time. she knew i was. & didn't really care. see thats the thing, she goes along with anything. as long as its not satanic. even though she used to laugh at some of the stuff i would show her. she used to only get like this when she'd come back from going to see my grandmother in Arkansas. now she's fully fuckin' jesus-rific all the time. it could very well be the death of my grandma looming ahead, making it more imperative that she continue impressing her with the lord & all that. but i thought i heard her call me a demon on the phone & it really upset me. i hate when they talk about me being demon possessed. im not. im really not. demons dont exist. im worried about my mother & i being mixed up too. i know all her stuff was gotten into when i was in California & Colorado but my stuff was gotten into long before that. & i dont like it when the disembodied voices overstep their boundaries. or mix my mother & i up. or consider us to be too similar. my mother has been balls deep in the small town church ethic since the 80's. she went almost every day, they raised each others kids. & then i can call myself a liar all i want, because ive had the therapy to combat those thoughts. my mother has not had therapy very often / doesn't let herself accept she has any problems. so when we get mixed up i lose my ability to self-regulate. & start talking down to myself & abusing myself because of how she has treated me in the past. the other day it was more prevalent than it had been in a long time. i dont know, its all a mess. but hopefully this jump will make the right amount of difference. my mother will get physically ill. but i'll be dead & all of it will be over. it will finally be over. also her obsession with children is getting to be too much. & all these years of her saying shit like "i dont have a foot fetish. fetish is a word that means you hate something." & then the memories of my early childhood like kindergarten & first grade / second grade when my dad was letting her come around every now & then but them taking me into the shower & stuff & finding out what it meant to get sick from not having opiates for the first time. & i was just THINKING about my abuse the other night & "oh come on" came OUT of HER MOUTH i SWEAR IT DID but then the next day she told me she thought someone was in the house. its the ghost of my schizophrenic father & he has come to take me to hell. read every hospital note you can of mine, its in there. hes covered in mud & sticks & he is rotting away & he has come here to take me with him to hell. & the voices give me locations & numbers & names of people to hurt. this isn't just my first rodeo, its my only rodeo, its the only bullshit to ever bullshit in my life. its all been leading up to this.

[burning-sol]

anyways i didnt do anything today ive been very. uhh. stuck. but i did think about what it would be like for the godslayers to be plopped into prime, specifically about how they would react to "youre not allowed to kill people".

peter is the most fucking relieved like "oh so we dont have to kill anyone ever???? thats so great" and rumi is cautious but like "hmmm well in 99% of situations if prison works then i dont see any reason we WOULD kill anyone. killing people is not something that should be taken lightly after all."

thanatos is. not enthused. i mean he gets the concept because peter and rumi have been trying to tell him to like. spare people. but he still REALLY thinks they should get to murder people. like. its just the most effective way to get rid of an enemy right? so. why . wouldnt you. he is not going to pretend like it isnt an active effort for him to not kill someone.

exandroth has a whole bundle of mixed up emotions because firsty. he cant KILL anyone??? even the bad guys????? like!! that was his favourite part of retributing!!! what the fuck does he do now?? r u kidding me what bullshit is this. he doesnt think jail is an equivalent punishment at ALL like he thinks if theyre evil then smite them off the face of the earth thats divine judgement baby. but also. he sort of likes seeing others rot away? but also she doesnt because it reminds her of being imprisoned herself?? its weird. exandroth walking through a jail would feel like pulling teeth in a mix of "I WANT TO KILL EVERYONE HERE" "HAHAH THEYRE ROTTING IN JAIL" "BEING IMPRISONED IS... NOT SOMETHING THAT SHOULD BE THIS TAKEN THIS LIGHTLY" exandroth can sort of tolerate it since its not affecting him directly but if there were a question of "we're going to try and imprison someone you care about" exandroth is just going to kill everyone involved no matter what. FUCK prison bitch. no.

but basically, peter and rumi have a much easier time adjusting to prime and the social conventions. except for the concept of i.d probably? i dont think theyd be too happy that there is a constant surveillance and a lack of anonimity that there was back in prevarus. they dont mind following rules but the idea of someone constantly watching over you?? thats really fucked up. even if rumi is a charismatic type that's not the same as consenting to being constantly watched. itd make them freak out.

meanwhile exandroth and thanatos are. theyre sort of adjusting? but not that well. theyre like. murderers. and god slayers. for realsies. like thats built up to be a considerable part of their identity?? they can adjust but letting go of that is difficult.

oh and their views on authority. i think peter and rumi are a bit iffy on it but are like "well... technically it is run by PEOPLE so thats not all bad". exandroth and thanatos are showing sheer disrespect "THESE BITCHES ARE ACTING LIKE THEYRE GODS LOOK AT THESE STATUES THANNY THATS LIKE WORSHIP STATUS WE NEED TO MURDER THEM" and yeah u talk them down from not judt running up and murdering them. but thats not necessarily because they dont WANT to. but because they go "exandroth. if i could compare this situation back when we first met" "UHUH" "..i think these superheroes would, metaphorically, turn us into spiders" "SHIT YOURE RIGHT. WE'RE STILL NOT STRONG ENOUGH FUCK THIS"

ig overall the group isnt like EVIL but they would be considered morally grey more towards the darker tones. theyre just *waiting* for the moment the prime superheroes turn on them and label them villains. not that its their fault. they just wanna change the world for the better. if theyre considered evil for that rhen irs not their problem.

anyways those are my thoughts rn im getting sleeby.

#📚 my posts #📌 thoughts

[mandoalorian]

Sugar and Spice [Max Lord x F!Reader] — Chapter 12

Summary: When you are evicted from your apartment by your toxic ex boyfriend and have no place to go, who do you turn to? Alone in the city as the countdown to Christmas begins, you find yourself applying for a job as the assistant of the world’s biggest entrepreneur; Maxwell Lord. Little do you know, he has other intentions for you. No doubt about it, this Christmas will truly be like no other.

Word count: 2.3k

Warnings: Smut, mentions of a previous verbally abusive relationship, typical 80s misogyny (but very little of it), mentions of food and drink, alcohol consumption. This is a sugardaddy x sugarbaby fic soooo… a daddy k!nk too oops.

But in this chapter: food mention, tooth rotting fluff. Our story comes full circle.

Author’s note: Here it is. The final chapter of Sugar and Spice. The Epilogue should be coming soon. I hope you enjoyed this story as much as I did, and I'd like to thank you all for supporting me and my writing. This was my first ever series and the love I got for it was unlike anything I had ever felt before. I love you all so much. (PS— i’m still sick with COVID so I am really really sorry if this is a poor chapter. I tried my hardest. Happy valentines day.)

MASTERLIST

PREVIOUS - CHAPTER TWELVE - EPILOGUE [coming soon!]

The second Maxwell engulfed himself amongst the soft satin blankets of his bed, he knew he was glad to be home. You climbed in beside him, and his eyes raked your body as he took in the sight of your baby pink slip on silk nightgown that you were wearing. He swallowed, and reached over to grab your waist and pull you on top of him. So there you were, straddling your sugar daddy after not seeing him for over a month. You pressed your palms against his bare chest and looked him in the eyes.

"There's something I need to tell you." Maxwell announced, knowing it had to be now or never. He couldn't keep hiding it. After the month in London and Alistair being brought back into his life, a lot had changed for him. He wasn't the same man he was back in December.

"About Ali?" you asked, tracing circles into his skin.

"Well, yeah. But— something else." Maxwell replied, shuffling around slightly. You sensed it was serious due to his tone of voice and your movements paused as you stared dead into his eyes.

"You don't have another secret child, do you?" you deadpanned.

"No!" Maxwell said defensively and you smiled softly. "It's about us."

You braced yourself. He'd been gone for a month, come back with a kid, and you were certain he was going to break the arrangement off with you. You pulled your hands off him and went to crawl off his lap, but his large hands landed on your thighs to hold you down.

"That night after the annual Black Gold Christmas gala… I saw you with Bruce and I got drunk and— my mom— and… I told you… I told you everything. About my father and having absent parents and. I said— I said— I said I was in love with you," Maxwell gulped and it took him every ounce of strength to not break his eye contact with you. He wanted to remain strong. You remembered the night like it was yesterday; clear as day. Of course, how could you forget the moment he said those words? And he hadn't spoken of it since, until now. Between you being held hostage by Tristan and Maxwell being whisked away to London, there'd hardly been an appropriate time to bring it up. "I swore that once I returned from the UK we would talk about this. So, Y/N, I have to tell you that my feelings haven't changed. It's been months, we've been together and apart. We've argued and fought but we've laughed and made love too. We've had distance— hell, I've been on the other side of the world for the past month but not a second has gone by where I haven't thought about you. About loving you, and kissing you, and even if you don't feel the same way, I hope you can forgive me."

"Forgive you?" You asked after a brief silence. You'd been waiting for what felt like a lifetime to hear these words, and yet you were struggling to comprehend them. It didn't feel real.

"For not doing anything or saying anything sooner. I should've said something sooner. I wish I had. I wish… I wish…" Maxwell rambled but you placed a finger to his lips, silencing him.

"No," you told him sternly. "No wishing. You don't need to make a wish because— everything is fine just the way it is," Maxwell's heart sank at your words and you watched as his chest deflated. "No!" you cried before trying to clarify. You didn't want him to get the wrong idea. "You have a successful business, and a son, and Max, you have me. You'll always have me. Because I love you too. I'm in love with you Maxwell Lord."

Max's chocolate coloured eyes widened at your confession as disbelief bolted through his body. Never in a million years would Maxwell expect that you would truly love him back. How could he expect anyone to love a man like him? Kitty hadn't. His mother hadn't. But you…

"I love you so much Max," you sighed before pressing a kiss into his lips. You caught a tear slip down his cheek and you quickly wiped it away. "Don't ever apologise for being you. Our story has been a whirlwind so far but it's not over. It's not over Max. I love you."

"I love you too." he whispered, wrapping his arms tight around your body when you kissed him again.

By the time Valentines Day rolled around, you swore it was like Maxwell and Alistair had never spent any time apart. The six year old boy was the spitting double of his father— personality and all.

He dived into your bed and jumped up and down.

"I got a card! Look daddy! I got a card!" Alistair beamed. Maxwell groaned and rolled over, holding a pillow over his head. You smiled tiredly and pulled the little boy into your arms.

"Good morning Ali, where did you get that?" you asked.

"It was on the kitchen table! Look mama, it's for me!" He squealed, pointing at the name that was inked in perfect calligraphy. Your perfect calligraphy. Your heart melted slightly at the little name he'd given you. "Mama". You figured it was something Maxwell had pushed, but he swore he hadn't, and that Alistair had decided that you'd be his mama from now on anyway. Kitty was out of the picture for good now, and you were nicer to him in the past two weeks than Kitty had been to him his whole life. That was the sad truth.

"Oh, so it is." you giggled, pressing a kiss into Alistair's forehead. You rolled over slightly and pat the middle of the bed, gesturing for Alistair to come and lay down in between you and his father.

"I only ever get cards like this on my birthday and Christmas. And today is neither of those days." Alistair pondered out loud, tapping his index finger against his chin as he thought. Just like his daddy.

"Do you know what day it is, Ali?" you beckoned.

You realised Maxwell must've finally woken himself up when his hand reached over to hold yours, his thumb circling your skin. You glanced over to him and saw that his big brown eyes were watching his son.

"Ummm…"

"It's the only day of the year where I can do this," Maxwell interrupted, pressing his lips against yours and kissing you. His sudden action was enough to take your breath away and Alistair went to make a noise of disgust. But Maxwell pulled away from your lips and placed a hand over his son's mouth. "And you, mister, can't do that!" he chastised, wiggling his finger with a chuckle.

"But daddy, kissing is yucky!" Alistair frowned, sticking his tongue out in dismay. You rolled your eyes, pulled the little boy on top of you and pressed another kiss into his forehead. Since you had a hold of him, Maxwell took the opportunity to tickle Alistair, erupting a scream of laughter. "Dad-daddy! Aaah daddy please!" Alistair laughed, kicking his legs and flailing his arms around.

"Have you worked out what day it is yet?" you asked the little boy once he'd settled back down. A small blush crept upon his cheeks.

"Va-valentines day?" Alistair asked, his voice timid.

"Are you telling me that my son Alistair has a valentine?" Maxwell gasped jokingly and Alistair's grin only grew wider with excitement.

"Can I open it?" Alistair giggled happily.

"Go on!" you laughed, giving him a small nudge.

You and Max both watched intently as Alistair opened the card. Of course, you had purchased the card and wrote it out. But seeing the excitement on Alistair's face when he read ‘love from your secret admirer’ was undefeatable. It was magical, and it filled your heart with so much love and joy. Alistair was new to your life, just as new as he was to Maxwell's, but if one thing was for sure, it was that you loved him just as much as you'd love your own child. And that wasn't lost on Maxwell.

He honestly expected you might have left him. Or grown distant upon learning that he had a son. But once again, you had proven Maxwell Lord IV wrong. You were unlike any other woman he'd ever met, and now that he had the two most important people in his life, he felt like he could accomplish anything. Nothing else mattered anymore. Just you and Alistair.

"My son, only six years old and already has a secret admirer!" Maxwell chuckled, shaking his head and wrapping his arms around Alistair. "But you'll always be my boy, won't you Ali?"

"Yes daddy." Alistair smiled a toothy grin.

"Us Lord men… we always get the ladies." Maxwell told his son, causing you to belly laugh. Maxwell shot you a joking glare and you tried to stifle any more of your giggles.

"On that note," you rolled your eyes and slid out of bed. "How does pancakes for breakfast sound?"

Both Maxwell and his son cheered with joy at the thought of pancakes. You remembered you even had some strawberries and cream left over from the night before which would go well with it. You pulled your silk robe over you and padded to the kitchen.

"Do you remember the plan?" Maxwell whispered quietly once you'd left the room, cradling his son.

"I do." Alistair beamed snuggling into his father's chest. Maxwell smiled a little.

"Tonight, yeah? After dinner." Maxwell reminded his son.

"Do you love her?" Alistair quizzed further, and Max's smile grew even more.

"I do," Max confessed. "More than anything."

"I think she loves you too." Alistair said softly.

"Yeah?"

"I see the way she looks at you," Alistair mumbled. "Like how Ariel looks at Prince Eric."

"Wh-who?" Max furrowed his eyebrows together and Alistair's jaw dropped slightly.

"Okay daddy. We're all watching The Little Mermaid after dinner." Alistair decided in that moment, his tone of voice leaving no room for question.

Maxwell quirked an eyebrow. "Really? And who put you in charge?"

"I'm a Lord," Alistair said proudly. "Besides, someone has to watch over you two lovebirds. Make sure you don't get yourself in trouble."

Maxwell couldn't believe the six year old boy. Alistair was definitely Maxwell's son, that's for sure.

Just as you were finishing up frying the last pancake, the kitchen phone began to ring. You answered it, surprised to hear the voice of your lawyer— or more accurately, Maxwell's lawyer. You had been using him to defend yourself on the case between you and Tristan. He had told you that Tristan was going to be locked away for a very long time, and that you'd won the case. A wash of relief flooded over you, and finally, things were beginning to look up for you and your little family.

You called down Alistair and Maxwell once breakfast was ready, and you served the heart shaped pancakes at the table. Maxwell came down a few minutes later than Alistair and he was holding on envelope. When he sat down opposite you, he passed you the envelope with a smug grin on his face.

"What's this?" you asked curiously, and Maxwell shrugged his shoulders casually as he sipped on his black coffee. He hadn't stopped smirking though. "Maxie, we agreed on no gifts this year?" you sighed, already feeling bad for not getting him anything.

"Baby, it's not exactly a gift. I mean, it's something for both of us. Something that's important to you and well… just open it, please." he urged.

You hesitated, exchanging a glance between Max and Alistair (who was already neck deep in pancakes), before sighing and opening the envelope. Inside was a letter from a retail agent? As you read the letter, your heart began to slam against your chest. No way.

"Max… you bought my old apartment building? The whole building?" you gasped, slamming your hand over your mouth in disbelief. "You bought it in both of our names?"

"Because I knew how much it meant to you. And how much your neighbours meant to you. They were all mistreated by Tristan, and that isn't okay. I bought the property from the council so we're the rightful owners now. And we won't overcharge rent like Tristan did. We don't need to. We'll refurbish the whole place. We'll give the families who live there a safe place that they can call home, and they won't have to worry about any abuse from Tristan, or their utilities falling apart, or bills… it'll be wonderful."

"Maxwell I- I don't know what to say I…" you were utterly speechless, tears filling your eyes. Obviously this was going to cost him a lot of money and a lot to upkeep, but for the first time, it felt like it wasn't even about money. It was a grand gesture, sure, but it was also the most thoughtful and unexpected thing he'd ever done for you.

"I love you." Max revelled and you smiled.

"I love you too." you replied, leaning over the table and pressing a kiss into his lips. You glanced back down at the letter, admiring the way your surname and Max's surname looked together on the sheet of paper.

At the start of December you didn't even own a car. You couldn't even pay rent. Now you were living in a suburban manor with your perfect little family. Amongst a little bit of sugar and a little bit of spice, you had found love, meaning and purpose. You'd found your soulmate.

Just as you thought your life was good and couldn't get any better, you didn't realise what Maxwell Lord had in store for you this evening. Your whole world was about to change.

---

Sugar and Spice taglist: @100layersofdaddyissues @mrschiltoncat @honeymandos @thisisthe-wayson @this-cat-is-dea @blonde2bomshell @maiyaaaa0130 @autumnleaves1991-blog @justanotherblonde23 @softly-sad @laaadygisbooornex3 @kaelyn-lobrutto24 @drinkingwhileblogging @kesskirata @honestlystop ​ @promiscuoussatan

Permanent taglist: @paintballkid711 @supernaturalgirl @phoenixhalliwell @ah-callie @luvzoria @stardust-galaxies @wickedfrsgrl @goth-topic @nerdypinupcrystal @wonderfulfluffer @kiwi-the-first @pedroepascal @castiel-barnes @honeymandos @rocketqueen @ladycumberbatchofcamelot @dybalalover10 @girl-obsessed-with-things @elena-myth @moth-guillotine @pedro-pascal-love @hayley-the-comet @pinkninja190 @maxiarapamaya @autumnleaves1991-blog @artsymaddie @harrys-stan @kennedywxlsh @cripplingmoon @cheekygeek05 @mrschiltoncat @martellthemandalor

#pedro pascal #pedro pascal x reader #maxwell lord #max lord #maxwell lord x reader #max lord x reader #ww84 #pedro pascal smut #jose pedro balmaceda pascal

[starr-fall-knight-rise]

Humans are Space Orcs, “I Have Seen.”

Wrote something easy and more similar to my original stories today. I hope you like it. 

I have been thinking about taking a couple days off from writing these stories, since I have been working non stop on this and the book for over a year now, so I am considering taking a break for about a week so I don’t burn out. I haven’t decided yet, so we shall see, but I hope you all have a great day.

I have a job no one knows about.

I don’t think anyone would be surprised if they heard about my job. I don’t even think they would care all that much.

None of this explains why my work station is in the basement of a nondescript government bunker on a death planet…. A!36. I can’t explain why I need three codes to get into my office, or why I go through five locked doors, or why I am not allowed to tell anyone what I do on pain of termination and imprisonment. 

You would assume, perhaps that I am a spy, and involved in some covert cloak and dagger espionage against other species and nations: you would be wrong.

You might assume I am a weapons developer, but you would also be wrong.

Perhaps you think I spend my time wire-tapping on important calls between species and recording important information.

None of this is really the case.

In fact, what I do is quite safe and relatively simple, plenty of other non-humans are doing it of their own accord and plenty more humans do it on a regular basis. What I do is not illegal, it is not espionage, it wouldn’t even phase you.

If that is the case.

Why do so many of my coworkers go missing?

Why are there absent desks every few months?

Why can I not make any lasting friends?

Management always give excuses to those of us who are left.

They left for mental health reasons.

THey moved on to a different job.

They are moving up in the company.

They had to be let go.

All things generic and all things that wouldn’t generally raise suspicion… unless they happen so frequently as us.

You may be wondering at this point, what it is I do for a job.

Perhaps, you think, it is very boring and unfulfilling that I would go insane from sheer boredom.

No, I actually find my job quite interesting.

Perhaps you think my job forces me to watch very disturbing and violent things…. And I suppose that could be close to the truth, though no one forces us to watch the videos if we don’t want, and no one makes us read the material if we cannot handle it. In fact, there are those of us who specialize in that sort of thing.

I do.

I am a specialist in historical xenopsychology.

I study human history.

When I say that I study human history, I do not mean as in a passing fancy. I do not simply read their school children’s textbooks and accept everything I see as truth, no, every day , I come into work and it is my job, to learn about everything that has ever happened in human history, to the best of my ability.

It is my job to know the good, the bad, the ugly, and the monstrous.

I work from day to night, cataloguing and filling my brain with all the information I can before recording it as a lecture on aura drives, which are then stored away for future use in a deep backup system under the surface of this planet.

I have followed human history since the beginning of time.

And I have marveled at it.

Much of my research is flawed, I know. Human history has always been biased, history being shaped and molded by the winners of conflict. Much of what else I know stems primarily from scholarly work humans have done on their own species, looking back the centuries and making assumptions about what they were doing.

While this is a good insite -- humans trying to explain the behavior of other humans-- it isn’t necessarily correct.

For this reason, it is my job to study every piece of information that comes across my desk.

Due to a government agreement between the galactic assembly and the United Nations of Earth, I was given access to the rebuilt library of Alexandria and all of its electronic files which include photos and information on the original documents that they keep in sealed vaults below the library.

I have read every account of human history, and every second hand interpretation of human history that I could possibly find in my time working here.

I have read Darwin and his early theory regarding evolution. I have examined his evidence, which include images and diagrams of the human body spanning centuries. My determinations were made just the same as the rest of them. Humanity was a tree-living species that found its evolutionary niche through walking and the use of opposable thumbs.

This ability to walk, in tandem with the use of hands eventually gave rise to the slow swelling of the brain in comparison to other animals. Human evolved primitive tools, and even more primitive religions, societies and rules.

They developed art early on, painting on the walls of their caves, in the darkness of night surrounded by their fires.

I have read about their befriending of animals in that same darkness. Man’s slow molding of the wolf into the dog - a species designed specifically for the needs of man.

I have attempted to read every account of every atrocity ever inflicted on humanity.

I have read of wars, and battles, Marathon, Thermopylae, Kadesh, D-day, Vietnam, Korea, Russo-Japanese, World wars I, II, III,  and IV and the Panasian War. 

I have witnessed in images and first hand accounts the chilling discoveries of natural disasters gone back thousands of years. Pompeii, Mt. St Helens, Katrina, Tsunamis, earthquakes, the fire of london, 1887 yellow river flood, the 3130 California earthquake, and Haiti earthquakes. 

And I have studied and witnessed every atrocity man has ever committed on its own people. The Mongol hordes, the crusades, Mayan and Aztec sacrifices, The Armenian genocide, the Holocaust, mustard gas, 9/11, slavery in the America, the Trail of Tears, The Bataan Death March, the Berlin wall, Civil war, the French revolution, Nanjing, Hiroshima and Nagasaki.

I tore a hole in humanity and looked inside to see your rot. 

I study the maggots that crawl under your skin.

Don’t confuse me with someone who fears you, or is even disgusted by you. You have committed thousands of horrors, yes this is true. But humanity is not a polished gem, it is an uncut stone marred by dirt and debris, but beautiful in a way that can hardly be explained.

You scrub away the rot only to find more underneath, yet you continue to scrub, in a futile attempt to better yourselves.

It is a beautiful thing if not in vain.

I do not judge you for your crimes because I have also seen your achievements. I watched you survive  the dark ages, I learned your philosophy from the greek world which brought the beauty of democracy and equity in later forms. I watched the enlightenment of the Renaissance, and have seen your beautiful artwork from each period of time. 

I have witnessed your great nations and empires rise and fall, Assyria, Byzantine, Rome, Britain, Egypt, Mongole, Aztek, Soviet Union, The chinese Dynasties and the Communist parties. The United States, and the Asian Co-Prosperity Collective

I have seen your bravery and your loss.

I have learned about the good that walks your earth.

Humans who stood up to tyrants.

I have even examined your stories of creation, of deities who molded humans from clay or dust, watched your world come into form in seven days, or ride on the backs of giant animals. I have seen the gods gift you with fire and learned the teaching of your martyrs over the centuries. Men and women slain and stoned or pulled away by spirits. I have learned of crucifixion, death and rebirth as well as reincarnation and a return to the very fabric of the universe itself.

I see everything.

I see everything. I see it all in my dreams laid out before me like a tapestry following each woven thread through the ages. I thought if I looked back, I could know as much as I possibly could. If I dug deep enough, I would be able to see your secrets.

And I have discovered you.

I see you hiding in there.

I know what you are.

Come out, come out.

And I won’t stop until it is all over and your cities crumbled into dust and bone.

…

…

I am being called into my manager’s office. Perhaps I too am ready to go up in the company.

...

I will be back soon…

Deus 

#humans are insane #humans are space orcs #humans are space australians #HUMANS ARE WERID #humans are space oddities #earth is a deathworld #Earth is space Ausralia

[penfullofwordsaheadfullofstories]

So We Refuse To Take it Tragically

A/N: I’ve just accepted my fate is to be obsessed with this man, so here’s yet another Obi-Wan fic. There will be a second part to this, and I’m thinking a mini series of in-between moments. I won’t give spoilers, but this is NOT my normal type of fic, but he’s an exception to every rule in my book, apparently. Thank you to @caffeine-in-an-iv​ for being my beta on this, I don’t know where this would be without you!

Thank you also to @beskars​ for her post here that birthed this. Always blessing us with fuel for the thirst. 

And to the one I know IRL that found my tumblr, one I will refer to as Top Voice, this is your final warning to gtfo before feasting your eyes on unprecedented filth and sap. 

Pairing: Obi-Wan Kenobi x Force sensitive! Fem Reader (no Y/N)

Warnings: SMUT!!!  Cumeating, hair pulling, Comfort Sex, ANGST!! (It has a happy ending later, I promise, but it starts after ROTS, so it’s par for the course) If you’re gonna write not-particularly-pertinent-to-plot-porn, might as well make it unnecessarily detailed, right? As usual, too many feelings for porn,  More warnings will be in the tags to prevent spoilers 

Title from one of my favorite quotes: 

“Ours is essentially a tragic age, so we refuse to take it tragically. The cataclysm has happened, we are among the ruins, we start to build up new little habitats, to have new little hopes. It is rather hard work: there is now no smooth road into the future: but we go round, or scramble over the obstacles. We’ve got to live, no matter how many skies have fallen.”

-D.H. Lawrence

Tatooine is no place for a baby.

 There are no soft surfaces, nor comforts, nor surplus of anything. It’s desolate and deprived and oppressive, but you watch as Obi-Wan shields the child from its harsh, sand-pelting winds with his whole body, despite the fact the child fits in the space between his wrist and elbow. It’s overzealous, but you don’t say anything of it.

 The past two days have ripped away nearly everything he held dear, insisting on devastating every tender place. Nothing sacred has been left untouched.

 He broke the code long before he met you, and you know part of why his love for you came so easily, why he had no qualms with breaking his vows, was because he’d long since loved the man that became his family in every way that matters.

 Love and Light so tightly knit together the fabric of his being one could not be separated from the other. 

 And you could take on the entire Force with your two fists for how it had rewarded him for it with Hate and Darkness coming from someone so close it shattered something foundational in Obi-Wan. 

 Yet even now, there isn’t Darkness surrounding his signature. There’s brokenness and his ever-present equilibrium has been replaced by jagged shards. But despite it all, those rugged pieces still reflect light erratically in their shine.

 It’s a loss and betrayal that spans many different planes: on one level, there’s nowhere you look in the galaxy beyond just the two of you that isn’t marked by the Empire’s rise in power, marking the end of the Republic he fought for and the fall of the Jedi, his community, comrades, and only home he’d ever known. And on another level, you’ve seen the weight of war and worse in Obi-Wan’s eyes, but nothing, nothing like this.

 The pain is panoramic, but it’s also profoundly personal.

 Even still, his attention isn’t on himself, but on the fussy bundle in his arms.

 You wonder: is it the galaxy that doesn’t allow this man time to heal? Or is it his own choice to throw himself into the need of others so he has a tangible reason to avoid his own torments?

 When he places the baby into the arms of the young couple, you know the times ahead will give the answer to that.

 Because there aren't the cries of the past few nights to wake either of you, there’s silence. 

 You long to fill it, to try to bridge this insurmountable void with something, anything you could say. But you know it’s bigger than you. So, so much bigger than you.

 Monumental obstacles and tremendous loss find themselves standing in the threshold of an abandoned hut smaller than your flat was on Coruscant. 

 “Well… it’s not much to look at, certainly. But the moisture vaporator seems to be in repairable condition, and we’re just far enough from town to avoid any curious neighbors. What do you think?” He turns to you, and his eyes, dark circles under and all, turn sharp in their assessment of your response. 

 “I told you. I’m going wherever you are so long as you’ll let me.” Your voice is gentle but adamant as you remind him. 

 He walks up from the living room to the threshold of the kitchen where you are, wrapping his arms loosely around your waist. “Be that as it may, I’m asking your input on where we’re going, or living, as your happiness means a great deal to me.” 

 There’s still no smile, but it’s the brightest his energy has felt since the last time you saw him before he came to your door in Coruscant days ago, whispering a rushed, heartfelt farewell, which you quickly countered with an emphatic, unshakable, “I’m coming with you.”

 You look up at him, gliding your hand across his cheek into the hair at the nape of his neck. There’s Darkness at the door of his soul that he’s fighting off every moment, and he has the audacity to speak of your happiness. 

 You don’t dare bring up his. It’s irony, at best. 

 So you smile, timid, knowing the gesture in itself might be blasphemous to the tone, but genuine all the same. “We can make a life here. I know we can.”  

 He scans your eyes, looking to find the authenticity in your statement. “Are you certain?” 

 He’s not asking about the hut anymore. Or, at least, not just the hut. 

 “Obi-Wan, I never had any delusion that any life I had with you would be easy. I thought I’d only ever be getting you in secret, sparse moments. Although I’d never, ever wish for it to be under the circumstances that it is, having you like this is better than I ever hoped.”

 There’s silence as he processes your words, then a wry twist of his features. “How I wish that your expectations needn’t be so low.”

 “No, no, that’s not what I meant.” You incline your head, trying to find the words to convey what you mean. 

 “Nothing any person or any planet anywhere has to offer me holds a candle to what I’ve found in you, nor will it ever. I’d never trade unshakable wholeness for the transience of materialistic happiness.”

 You know this has to resound with him. Is it not within the core set of values he was taught to forsake comfort in any avenue for something far greater? 

 His eyes flick between yours, gauging, and you can feel him reaching out to feel at your signature to solidify the truth. 

 If you knew him any less, you might be insulted at his questioning of your trustworthiness. But it’s not you he doesn’t trust. It’s something good willingly giving itself to him that causes his wariness. 

 The Force can have your middle finger along with your fists. 

 Then he’s relaxing into you, letting out an exhale that seems heavy with more than just air, and burying his nose in your hair for his next inhale. 

 ****

 By the end of the day, you’ve gathered enough supplies for basic necessities and to start on the repairs of the hut. You both snarf down a ration bar before shortly thereafter clearing the blown-in sand off what must have been the bed of the home. It’s a half circle indenture in the wall, and it has a dip obviously made for a mattress or cushion of some sort, but as all that’s available are the blankets bought in town today, you set to fluffing them to some semblance of comfort. 

 Fatigue pulls you into it far sooner than the suns setting. Last night was your first night without Luke, spent in a room you rented in town. Today was spent traveling to and from the hut, discussing details on what needs to be done, and you? You are absolutely exhausted. You can only imagine what he must feel like. 

 Obi-Wan secures the lock on the door before sitting on the side of the bed, looking off into nothing for a long, long moment. 

 You push up to your side, placing a hand on his back. “Obi…”

 His shoulder nudges toward your hand, but he cuts you off. “It’s going to get quite cold when the suns set, and since the stove isn’t properly ventilating yet, we’re going to have to work with body heat.”

 “I’ll try to mask my reluctance,” you retort.

 He turns his face to you then, and just a smidge of humor sweeps across his eyes before he sheds his cloak, followed by everything else until only his pants remain. You’ve long since stripped down to your own sleeping comfort level, so before he can fold his cloak along with the rest of his discarded clothing, you take it and cover yourself with it. 

 He shakes his head a little at you once he’s done, settling down next to you, throwing the covers over both of you. 

 “Tell me what you need.” You’re face to face with him, but his expression is unreadable. 

 “I… I don’t know.” He considers you as if you held the answer to the question you just asked him.

 “What about want, then? What do you want, Obi-Wan?” You wish he didn’t have his shields perpetually raised these days. It’d be so much easier to just read his energy. 

 His hand reaches up so he can stroke your cheek with his thumb. “You’re tired, darling. Rest.” 

 Ah, there it is. If the answer to the question of desire is him counter offering his own response with the fact you’re tired… 

  “So are you. But you still want.” You press your body fully against his, dropping your voice down to a whisper. “And so do I.” 

 You won’t push anymore than that, letting him take or leave the invitation. For you, it’s not even a question. It’s been four months since you last saw him. Since you’d last felt his touch.

 You’d spent the last few nights in each other’s arms, but between Luke's shrill cries and the deafening devastation of the events of the days prior, it’d been just that: sleep. Or, what tousled, disturbed counterfeit the circumstance offered you both.  

 For him, though, there’s an abysmal weariness that digs far beyond lack of sleep, and you don’t dare infringe upon him in any way.

 But there’s still a longing present, and even without his Force signature to guide you into his feelings, he can’t hide his eyes. 

 You watch the moment he makes a decision solidify across his countenance right before he presses his lips against yours. You sigh into it, letting the draw of his skin on yours pull you into orbit.

 Because that’s exactly what happens. It’s a kiss for a kiss’ sake, for flavor and fervency and the fullness of each other, but it quickly gains its own momentum when his tongue parts your lips truly. 

 It’s an acute absence. Not having his energy surrounding you with his shields so far up. But it also gives sharp attention to the press of skin against skin, makes it an anchor and an outlet for all that is still too tender to even acknowledge.

 You find grip in his hair, purposefully running your hands the opposite of the way he combs it as he takes your face in both hands and pulls you into him all the more. 

 When you both need to breathe, he only moves so far away that his lips still brush against yours on every exhale. “I..” he starts, then stops. 

 The hand still in his hair rakes through it gently, scratching your fingertips against his scalp as you wait for him to complete his thought.

 “Let me taste you,” he says at last. You know it's a question from the way he stills, waiting for permission, but it’s phrased as nothing like it. 

 You raise an eyebrow. “Is that a rhetorical quest…”

 “Oh, hush.” He’s already nudging you over onto your back, situating his body over yours, claiming your lips again. You allow yourself to sink into it, cherishing his weight over you, his hand roaming your ribcage, before pulling back to speak. 

 “I’m sorry, are you now getting on to me for my sass? Because… oh!”

 He finds a nipple through the thin fabric of your shirt, pinching softly with a small tug. 

 “By all means, continue. I was most intrigued.” His smirk is back, but it fixes you with a tinge of worry when it again proves to be a smile only skin deep.

 You place two fingers just shy of his forehead, but he catches your wrist in an almost painful clasp. The alarm casted by his expression quickly is washed away by a carefully constructed impassiveness, and your heart sinks. 

 He has to see it, because he bows his head in apology. “Not tonight.”

 And before you have any room to respond, he’s shifting himself down as he lifts your shirt up, placing a single taunting, wet kiss on each nipple before moving even further down, nipping at the skin right below your belly button. 

 He’s distracting you from what he’s not allowing you access to, and you know it, and you let him anyway. That’s what this is, isn’t it? Distraction from the barrage of the mind. If that’s what he needs, that’s what you’ll give.

 As he toys with the hem of your underthings, and you lift your hips to assist their removal, you realize it’s exactly what you need too.

 Except he apparently isn’t planning to remove your underwear at all. With a casual flick of his hand, your legs are parted and held like that with a no-nonsense sprout of Force energy. Then he’s simply pulling the cloth to the side and brings his mouth torturously closer, but stops just before contact. 

 You push up to your elbows to tell him you can’t take much of those teasing breaths he’s taking, blowing hot air against sensitive nerve endings. But when you hear his breath stutter as he just looks, unhurried in admiration, you decide against it, even as you flush at the undivided attention. Sprawling his palms out over your inner thighs, he dips down to press his mouth between his fingers, sucking not-so-gently into the soft skin, sending the flesh into tremors before he’s even really done anything to you.

 He says your name as he opens you up with his fingers, parting your folds so everything is bared to his view. You start to squirm, the exposure starting to feel a little too heady, and you’re starting to appeal with the beginning of his name when he leans forward, straight away connecting his lips to your clit. You try to thrust up into it as some shameful noise leaves you, but there’s only so much movement you have with your legs still pinned. 

 He loves to tease, so you don’t expect him to retract the energy that constricted your legs at the first resistance. Instead, he slides his hands under your ass, pulling you on to his tongue and lets you push your hips into him unchecked.

 He hums at your enthusiasm, the reverberation sending your hands into his hair again, which gifts you with even more noises from him. 

 It doesn’t take long at all, and you’re coming undone on his tongue, biting into your forearm to dampen your cry. 

 He doesn’t stop until you push at his shoulder, signaling your tender surrender. He obeys, looking up at you from between your thighs, absolutely besotted, eyes shining a shade brighter than before. 

 Then. Obi-Wan Kenobi keeps his eyes on yours before dipping his head and tilting his jaw, running his beard right where you’re still open and vulnerable, abrasion grating in a way you know you’ll be feeling all day tomorrow. 

 He licks his lips as he moves back up to kiss you again, letting you taste yourself on him. 

 He goes easily when you gesture for him to lie on his back so you can straddle him, carefully avoiding any contact where he’s throbbing for you. His hands fall right to your waist, stroking gently as he waits for you to initiate. 

 You focus your study on the section of his hair that’s fallen in his face, twirling a finger in it, happy to have anywhere to look but his eyes. 

 He’d normally at least be in your mind by now, and even though you understand it, well, the drought of it is as appropriate for the planet as anything. 

 You remember too late to raise your own shields against any accidentally too-loud thoughts, as Obi-Wan cups his hand on your chin, forcing your gaze to his, saying your name quietly in calling.

 “You have to know, it isn’t anything to do with…”

 You interrupt him. “No. No. I won’t have you addressing my insecurities of all things in light of…”

 “Please listen, love. I need you to know, it hasn’t anything to do with the love I have for you. That hasn’t changed and never will. I think I need… “ He pauses, solemn in thought. “Time,” he finishes finally.

 You knew this already in the pit of your stomach, but hearing him say it, hearing him affirm that it isn’t you insufficiency… you hate that you needed it as much as you did. 

 And if he needs time? That’s what you’ll give. But he also has a want, evidenced by the brush of him against you when you scoot yourself down his torso. 

 You take the hem of his pants with you when you continue down, ridding him of them and his shorts. But when you wrap your hand around him and begin to lower your mouth, he grips your chin again, shaking his head. 

 “I can’t… please, just.”  It’s always an anomaly when he’s at a loss for words, usually ever-so articulate.  

 A gasp chokes out of you when you feel the phantom of his mind. Not in full, no. With barriers, and it’s projected out, not at all the same sensation to being within it. 

 It’s desperation. For how long it’s been, for how drained he feels, how he’s not sure how long this will last, and how much he yearns to be inside you.

There’s not even a second of debate in your mind as you take your position on his lap again, lifting your hips, intention apparent. He takes his cock in hand, holding steady so you can start to seat yourself onto the thick push of him. 

 The hitch in his breath is your only warning before he seizes the undersides of your thighs, halting you from taking him any further.

 His eyes are tightly shut, and you know from watching him before that his facial expression is an attempt at borderline meditation, except it’s several long seconds before he achieves anything resembling calm. 

 It’s as good a time as any to push his hands off you and squirm around to take him a little deeper. You plan on rubbing your victory in, but your smirk is wiped away with a whine at the elation. Instead of stopping you again, he almost imperceptibly thrusts up, and it’s your turn to falter, slamming your hands into his chest, nails digging in, working against your weight trying to pull you down onto him. 

 It goes on like that, until you’re both bordering on hysteria before you’ve even fully taken him. You can’t figure out if it’s a worse torment to keep delaying or continuing. 

 Obi-Wan seems to have come to his own conclusion to that, as he finally opens his eyes, locking them with yours as he places his palms flat on the tops of your thighs and pushes down until your skin is flush with his.

 You pull a hand up, biting on your fist, trying to stifle the exclamation in your throat.

 He pulls it away, voice ragged as he speaks. “I want to hear you, little one. We needn’t hide anymore.”

 It’s a dimensional statement. For one, no one is around for miles, a stark contrast to your quarters on Coruscant where you at least attempted to be considerate of your too-near neighbors when it came to noise. For another, it’s the irony of being in hiding from the Empire, but being allowed to be open in your relationship with each other finally.

 And the deepest irony is that you both have your barriers up so firmly right now all you can concentrate on is bared skin.

 Oh, but what a beautiful spanse of bared skin he is. Freckled and almost luminously pale, bending and curving with the strength of the form underneath.

 He sits up slowly, generating a breathless plea from both of you at the new angle. A search of your eyes asks you a question, and you’re nodding, kissing him with the full brunt of your craving. 

 You slide up and then down again just as he drives up, and you’ve found your rhythm, just like that. 

 His hands push you onto him every time you pull up, and his tongue laves your breasts, sucking and biting along your collarbone, as you rake your nails down his chest, over the backs of his shoulders, his scalp, anything you can touch. 

 It’s enough to send him into a chorus of groans, shoving himself hard up into you.

 He doesn’t even speak it aloud, just projects the apologetic warning that he’s on the edge.

 When his thumb finds your clit, everything in you goes tense despite the relief. You clench around him, hard, and he instantly moves his hands to your shoulder blades pulling you flush against him as he lets out an unrestrained sound against your breasts. 

 You push his thumb away from where it’s stilled against you, replacing it with your own. His fingers twitch in their bruising grip, and you can feel him throbbing inside you.

 You stay like that for a moment, just letting him ride out his bliss, whispering sweet affirmations into his hair.

 When he looks up at you again, his eyes are glassed over. You wonder if it’s ecstasy that is the cause, or something from the bedrock boiling to the surface. 

 He doesn’t give you a chance to elaborate, flipping you over on to your back. The moment he withdraws, you can feel the mess dripping down your inner thighs. 

 It takes everything in you to not come at the sight alone as Obi-Wan dips further down your body, parting you and lapping his tongue right where you’re weeping evidence of desire. 

 You know you have to be making a mess of his face and beard, but he certainly doesn’t seem to mind, indulging on his own spill infused with yours. 

 When he adds two fingers in you and curls them strategically, searing heat shoots through your lower stomach as you arch against his mouth, his name a high whisper with absolutely no suppression, echoing across the empty stone walls of the home. 

 He leaves a final tender kiss against you before lying down next to you, pulling you into his arms, and you pull him into yours right back when your limbs remember how to function.

 His head drops against yours, and his eyes flutter shut, taking a deep inhale, like he’s trying to fill his lungs with more than just oxygen. 

 Nothing is fine, and the world is crumbling. But right now, as the suns finally leave the house in dark, as you clasp each other in tight embrace, as sleep pulls you under, you can pretend it’s fine. If only for a moment.

 *******

  There’s a flash of feeling that startles you awake and into the disorientation that comes from waking in a new place. The sensation worsens when you feel the reverberations of the equivalent of a slammed door in the Force. 

 You sit up quickly and look over to Obi-Wan, who sits on the side of the bed, head in his hands, fingers brutal in their grip.

 You move toward him, and he turns around at the sound. “Go back to sleep, darling. it’s nothing.”

 When you fix him with a gaze that essentially translates “bantha fodder,” he just lies back down, pulling your back into his chest, and you doubt the fact you can’t see his face like this is a mistake. 

 The rhythm of his breathing betrays the fact he is nowhere near sleep, but you find yourself fading off soon again anyway.

 ****

 When you wake in the morning, you’re alone in the bed, which is no surprise. He’s not one to lounge, and if the height of the suns peaking through the window has anything to say, he’s already been up for a while.

 His cloak is still tangled in the blankets, though, and you wrap yourself in it, padding outside after doing something about your morning breath. 

 The hut is situated on a cliff, overlooking a barren valley. The suns glare with their unrelenting eyes of heat even so early in the day, and you stare back as best you can without squinting, daring them to do their worst. They know nothing of the misery that’s already visited this home. They have no hope of competing. 

 You find Obi-Wan cross-legged near the edge of the cliff. Cross-legged and levitating. 

 Of course, you know he can do things like this. It’s just such a different thing to see him doing it . You’ve never had a proper morning with him like this, seeing his routine. He was always up before the sun, you with him, gathering moments and soaking them in before he had to leave again.

 He looks almost peaceful now, not at rest, but peaceful. 

 How?

 How does he still have so much trust in the Force? 

 A more lighthearted thought emerges through the grim train, as you notice he’s opted to not put his tunic back on yet. 

 It doesn’t matter out here, you suppose, there isn’t any other living being for miles around. For that matter, you wonder why he even left the pants. 

 His voice damn near startles you, not even opening his eyes to address you. 

 “Although that may be the case, there are some locations more bearable to get sunburn than others.”

 You blush at being caught, and gently ensure your thoughts aren’t accidentally projected again, but he doesn’t give you much time to dwell on it.

 “Join me?”

 As he opens his eyes and descends the couple inches down back onto the ground, you feel your heart do the same. He’s taught you little things, here and there, and you’ve enjoyed it, learning to tap into that constant humming you never had the tools to channel before.

 But now? 

 What interest do you have with The Force that failed the man who served it without fail? You could burn it down for the atrocities it’s committed even in negligence against the man you love.

 But there’s been enough burning.

 Obi-Wan won’t speak of what transpired on Mustafar, but you’ve caught glimpses. Last night wasn’t the first night you’ve had him back, and it wasn’t the first you’d woken to a severe troubling in his aura. 

 You’re still not sure if Luke is a fussy baby or simply a very responsive one, as it seemed Obi-Wan was already awake before Luke started crying. 

 It was only mere seconds before his shields came slamming down, firmly in place, every time. 

You can’t tell if he’s trying to shelter you from his feelings or blockade them away from himself.

 Maybe both.

 But those seconds? They’re long enough. For just a flash of a charred, severed body. Of hateful, pleading, golden eyes. 

 There’s been enough burning. 

 “I can’t ever be a Jedi, Obi.” 

 “That’s not what I’m asking of you.” 

 He knows your criticisms as well as your compliments over the Jedi. You’ve both discussed it at great length many times, always over a firm understanding and respect, but you’ve never really had long enough to have a conclusion. But you’re not going to push now, not with the fall of it all still so close behind him. 

 “I should think our relationship itself is testimony that I don’t inherently agree or adhere to all Jedi teachings.”

 You drop your eyes, trying to ignore the sweat starting to trickle down your skin from the relentless heat. “I thought maybe you were with me in spite of your better judgement.”

 His brow furrows. “At first, that’s what I may have thought too, but it made itself clear that although what transpired between us was forbidden by the Code…” he trails off for a moment, almost hesitant. “...the way Light was and is exemplified any time I have you in my arms presented a solidified case that not always is the Jedi way synonymous with the will of the Force.”

 He says it wholeheartedly, but you can tell it pains him. It’s easy to never speak ill of the dead, either of individuals or groups. To glorify and wipe away any transgressions to ensure their memory sparkles as you grieve it. 

 The harder thing is to grieve everything, both the good you lost and the bad you experienced from the same source.

 And there’s another level there. Something that has him patting the spot beside him and giving a heartbreakingly forced smile.

 Even through it all, wariness of aspects of his own religion included, he seeks unity with the Force without reservation or resentment.

 You don’t fight him anymore. 

 The war is over, but the battle has just begun, and so help you Maker, you’re going to fight for him to have the chance to heal. 

 So you sit, mimicking his position. 

 When he smiles again, it’s much smaller but not at all fake. 

 “First, clear your mind.”

 *****

 The days are afflicted with an underlying gloom, full of work that busies the hands but leaves the mind to wander, which wasn’t at all a luxurious thing. 

 But the nights are filled with unclaimed time, time in an abundance you never had with each other before. 

 Sometimes it’s shot with silence from the weight of the day, reveling in the presence of another as you work together on the supper dishes.

 Or sometimes there’s almost an excitement, despite the labor ahead, of the plans for the place that’s now your home. 

 “Wouldn’t we have to have some sort of larger equipment to hoist that over the cliff edge?” You wonder aloud to Obi-Wan, speaking of the replacement unit for finally getting some very basic temperature control for the hut. “The way around back is too rough and would scratch it up, and I, for one, wouldn’t want to try pushing it up manu…”

 You stop at his smirk he’s trying to hide with tilting his tea cup higher over his lips. 

 “...Or there’s a Jedi solution to this problem that requires neither, and you’re just letting me ramble on anyway.” You punctuate the end of your statement by tossing a pillow his direction, which just stops. Midair. 

 There’s so much legend surrounding Jedi, you haven’t really been sure what’s factual and what’s fairytale. 

 You certainly knew of some of his abilities, but he didn’t tend to elaborate on details of his missions before, and you never argued, knowing it was a liability for you to have that kind of information if anyone ever found out what you meant to Obi-Wan.

 He chuckles, not even trying to look a little guilty. 

 Once you remember to shut your mouth, you get back to planning. “And that same principle just applies to objects of any size?”

 He nods. “Same principle, just more concentration required.” 

 You tuck your feet under you on your chair as you think on that for a second. You’ll have to ask him to teach you that one next. Mediation alone could get rather dull.

 “So, for instance, if a great amount of concentration is being spent Force-lifting an object up the cliff, it would leave a Jedi vulnerable to, say… projectiles thrown?” You throw another pillow at him, which just as easily halts next to the other, gravity defiant. 

 He could have lowered the first one by now. You raise a brow at the knowledge he’s putting on a show for you. 

 “You’ll have to do better than that, I’m afraid.” 

 More often than not, the time of the evenings are spent loving and lounging in sheets, savoring the difference of unhurried lovemaking, with no heart-wrenching farewell on the horizon.

 But every time you gently ask to reach his mind, he pushes the request and your hand away.

 *******

 Obi-Wan’s visits to see Luke are met with a level of hostility. The man, Owen, seems wary of him, doing everything he can to cut the visit short as you and the woman, Beru, if you remember correctly, look silently to each other for some relief in the tension.

 They already likely know his actual name, but you’re careful to only address Obi as “Ben” here, along with everywhere else that isn’t your hut. It’s precautionary, but if it’s for the sake of protecting Luke and Obi-Wan himself, you’ll do it without any further questions.

 But Luke seems to be doing well, and that is ultimately what matters most. It’s hard to believe how quickly he’s grown in the mere weeks that you’ve been here.

 The boy might be by far Obi-Wan’s greatest purpose being on this planet, but it’s not his only. 

 Master Yoda had given him Jedi texts, yes, but also another task for his time here. 

You’re thankful to talk about either, as it seems to be one of the few things he’ll open up to you about as it pertains to himself. 

 But when he goes to meditate alone, calling for his mentor, his father in every right of the term, he comes back more empty than he left. 

 When you look at him with a too-knowing look, too infiltrating for his comfort, he easily slides into a quip.

 “My old master, it seems, won’t appear unless on his own terms. I’m not sure what else I expected, honestly.”

 ******

 You also learn that the man does not cook. Not that you consider yourself an expert, but at the very minimum, you know how to use spices, which on Tatooine come as hot as their weather.

 “Is it a Jedi thing to have tasteless food, or is that just you?” You tease as he dices some sort of root at your direction while you sift through the cabinet. 

 His eyes are full of mischief when he’s quiet for a moment before speaking up. “I would argue there’s concrete evidence that I’m quite happy to indulge in the pleasures of taste.”

 You can’t help your blush as his very pointed look. 

 Dinner is long forgotten after that, but the night is delectable all the same.

 *****

 Something has shifted in your own Force signature. Something you can’t put your finger on. 

 It doesn’t seem harmful or threatening in essence, but it makes you wary in a way that makes your skin itch with more than the dryness. 

 You try not to think much of it. After all, there’s plenty to do between tending to the vaporator, hunting, fending off the Sand People, and your learning to wield the Force.

 After rumors of Tusken raiders being nearby, you ask Obi-Wan to teach you combat.  This would be starting long before he normally would teach someone, he explained, but he does it anyway. It’s not exactly using the Force at first, having to start with how to even move your body in the event of attack, slowly enhancing those skills with the Force as you become more confident in them. 

 You look forward to it more than any other task. It gives you a strength you haven’t had before, and it’s a whole different level of connection to the Force when you trust it physically, not just in your mind. 

 It’s also another level of trust with Obi-Wan, knowing he’d never hurt you even as he enters the role of a potential threat, guiding you through how to handle it.

 So you don’t know why today your stomach won’t agree to the way you want your body to move. You push through it anyway, despite Obi-Wan’s concerned questioning. 

 You lose your lunch into the rocks, and you really wish he wouldn’t pick you up to take you back into the hut, because the shift of what’s up and what’s down doesn’t help at all. 

 And you wish he wouldn’t dote over you the rest of the day, as if you didn’t feel useless enough already, as if the illness didn’t leave as quickly as it came. 

 You make a mental note to ensure you don’t let yourself become dehydrated again to that point.

 *****

 The trips into town are kept to a minimum, trying to keep curiosity away from the new couple. Also, there wasn’t much to do except barter and spend credits, something you both tried not to do a great deal of. 

 Obi-Wan was sent off with enough Republic credits to get you started here, but it was hit or miss if the vendors took them that day, and he also didn’t want to spend too much at once.

 Nothing was more suspicious than surplus here.

 The woman you brought the limited produce available from seemed… different this trip. 

 Obi-Wan was a couple of stalls down from you, negotiating with a man who had obviously jacked up the price on the items needed. Poor man didn’t know what he was in for. 

 You turned your attention back on to the woman in front of you, and tried to decipher what was different this time and why it felt so familiar. 

 As you pointed to a basket of hubba gourds, inquiring of the price, she gave you one that you knew for a fact was higher than last time. 

 You counter offered the same price as last time you were here, and she firmly stated her price again. Ready to stand your ground, you go to state your price again, she puts her hand to her belly, bringing her skirt in around, revealing a small bump. 

 “Can’t afford your low-ball offers with this one on the way, understand?” 

 The sky suddenly falls around you in thunderous clamor as the physical realm around you moves on, unaffected and unreachable. Almost mechanically, you place the credits she asked for on the table, not even capable of addressing the obvious manipulation.

 Understanding drenches you in its brutal weight as you realize the source why she felt so different this time. 

 Your hands shake in their clasp on the basket as you pull yourself into a side alley, heaving your breakfast up. 

 Because you recognize the same difference in her is the exact same one that has changed your Force signature.

 It’s because there’s a flickering light of another being’s Force signature within you. 

  Tagged as requested: @maybege​

#obi-wan #obi wan kenobi #Obi-Wan Kenobi #obi-wan X reader #obi-wan kenobi x reader #obi wan x reader #obi wan kenobi x reader #obi-wan x you #obi-wan kenobi x you #obi wan x you #obi wan kenobi x you #Obi-Wan fanfic #tw: violence #tw: pregnancy #tw: trauma #obi-wan x reader #obi wan x oc

[hanjisungz-remade]

penny for your thoughts? ☽ changbin

✦ genre: harry potter au, fluff, slow burn ✦ description: perhaps staying behind for christmas break would be good. you could get a lot of studying in for OWLs and since you were alone, you wouldn’t get distracted... except you weren’t alone ✦ pairings: seo changbin x reader ✦ word count: 28.2k ✦ warnings: mild language, tooth rotting fluff (seriously.... its a lot) ✦ a/n: ive had this idea for so long (nearly 4 years) and im so excited to finally write it! merry christmas and happy holidays in general to you all that celebrate, i hope you eat well and rest well and enjoy 💓 

i.

“Did you hear about the accident in Potions class today?” Jisung spoke quickly, elbow locked with your own as you tried to avoid being separated in the large crowd of students. Somehow he was always able to get the most gossip out of students and continue to stay at the top of your class. 

“No, I’ve been busy focusing on OWLs. I would tell you that you should study too but I know you’ll ace them all.” You nudged him, almost pushing him into a very annoyed looking Slytherin. 

“Hey! I’ve done my fair share of studying as well.” Jisung pouted but shook his head, focusing on shuffling his feet and recounting his story. “Okay so the accident. It was fucking hilarious, first of all. Secondly, I heard this first-year couldn’t tell the difference between fluxweed and knotgrass when they tried to make Polyjuice and they blew up the whole cauldron, like boom!” He made an explosion motion with his hands.

“To be fair you’re quite the handful in Potions as well, and that's coming from your partner.” You thought back to Jisung burning his eyebrows off in third-year after incorrectly mixing ingredients among the many other things you’ve had to endure the past years.

“I will have you know, I am the best partner ever. You get better marks because you fix my mistakes!” Jisung was about to go on but he suddenly lifted his head, a soft, “woah” coming out as you both entered the Great Hall.

Lights were just being hung up as everyone walked into the Great Hall. Professors flicked their wands and spun the strings together to turn the admittedly boring beige walls into a disco-like party of reds and greens.

The tables, which had normally been decorated quite plainly, were now filled with anything and everything Christmas-like. Small trees sat at the head of each table and at the front table where the teachers sat. The goblets shined with a dark red glow, and the cloths protecting the wood from careless students were dyed a light green and shined with sparkles of glitter. Every year they seemed to do something different, whether it be the color of lights on the tree, the decorations around the house banners hung on the walls or the jeweled arrangement on the cups.

You made your way to the Ravenclaw table quietly, smiling at your other friend Luna as you sat down next to her. Before you could say anything, everyone cheered at the sight of the food being served. To be fair, you were very hungry, and you almost joined in on the loud hollers and claps, mostly coming from the Gryffindor table.

As plates of food floated down the long tables you listened to everyone talking. At the table next yours the Hufflepuffs quietly munched on their food, no words being exchanged except for the occasional student squealing and cursing from another playing a trick on them. From that table you made eye contact with your friend Seungmin, raising your eyebrows and laughing when he held up a Potions book and mouthed “kill me” to you. 

Behind you the Slytherins sat quietly, some of them laughing at one of the other houses while others had their heads in their books. You never fully understood the motivations of Slytherins. They loved to be top of the class yet they always felt as if there was something else higher to achieve. Though you couldn’t find them too weird, you were the top of the class and you still wanted to go higher, still wanted to prove yourself. 

You always wondered if you should have been placed in Slytherin, but no one ever dared question the Sorting Hat. That, and you heard a rumor that the Hat took your own feelings into account, and you knew you were always more drawn to Ravenclaw.

On the opposite wall there was a loud murmuring, the Gryffindor’s heads clacking together and you could only assume they were talking about something interesting with your they all seemed to push together into the middle of the long table. How they could relay a message down the whole table made no sense to you, it all sounded like an impossible game of ‘Telephone’, yet with the nodding of heads it looked as if they got their message across.

“Think they’re having another dick measuring contest?” Jisung whispered in your ear as you both began filling up your plates. Of course he had to overload his, but you knew he would end up eating it all.

“I think they wait to go back to the Common Room to do that.” You stated simply, shoveling as much turkey as you thought you could eat onto your large plate. It always turned out that your eyes were bigger than your stomach, but much like Jisung, you were determined to finish.

To your other side Luna leaned towards you, one hand on a fork and the other holding a book open. “Have you guys finished the Herbology study book yet?” Her voice was soft and barely above a whisper.

OWLs started two weeks after Christmas break and to say you were completely not ready was an understatement. You had studied day and night since the beginning of the year, getting as many books from the library that you could. Learning was fun and while you were quite good at it, the thought of failing was always a fear of yours. With the deadline rapidly approaching, so was your heart rate. 

“I skimmed through it but I feel like it would be better to have more hands-on experience.” Jisung shrugged, stuffing his cheeks with turkey and vegetables from the floating plates passing by even though he had a near full plate sitting in front of him.

“Smarty pants.” You looked at Jisung, sticking your tongue out at him. “I’ve been really busy with Potions so I haven’t started yet. How about you?” 

“I haven’t even started either. I’ve been trying to memorize these spells for Charms but I can never find the time to practice them.” Luna launched forward, nose fitting perfectly in the middle of the textbook, a loud sigh escaping her.

“Well, we can study together more often if you want?” You offered, watching Luna lift her head up quickly. You feared for her neck when she did that. 

The three of you would study together in a small group, sometimes recruiting other people and friends from other houses, but with the ‘big tests’ coming up, maybe studying together more often could help more than hurt. Although you did like studying alone more, it was definitely more beneficial to study in a group. It also offered as an occasional distraction when the stress got to be too high.

“Oh my god really? That sounds awesome. You’re the best.” She took a deep breath, closing her eyes while her hands rested in her lap. Through the years of knowing her and being her roommate for one of them, you knew Luna would occasionally meditate to ground herself. She was quite the quirky person, as most Ravenclaws were, but Luna took it to the next level. It wasn’t a bad thing, in fact it made her infinitely more interesting to talk to. 

Her hair was what first drew you to her, it was a coral blue, but when she turned around for the first time you saw glimpses of reds and purples. When you asked her, she said it was an invention her father came up with, color changing hair dye. At that point you knew you had to be her friend.

A comfortable silence fell over the three of you as you continued to eat. Luckily you had friends that felt like silence was as good of communication as talking was. Well, Jisung was quite the jabberjaw, but he always knew when to stop and when to let the room descend into quiet.

If only the rest of the room could have stayed quiet.

Two tables down a loud crash caught everyone's attention. The silence you had wished for just a second ago granted to you. Your eyes fell on a wide eyed boy, his pink hair weighed down from liquid that had been poured on him. By whom? Like everyone else you looked next to him to see another wide eyed boy, this one with dark hair and seemingly older yet you weren’t quite sure.

“Oh shit.” The black haired one said, his wand quickly being tucked back into his red and black robe but it was definitely too late for trying to conceal anything with hundreds of eyes locked onto them. 

Behind the boys came Professor McGonagall, the Head of the Gryffindors, although it was less of a walking over and more of an appearance from thin air. Her glasses rested on the tip of her nose as she looked down at the two cowering boys in front of her.

“Mr. Bang, what is it do you think you’re doing?” Neither of the two turned around, their eyes closed and noses scrunched. Eventually the older looking one turned around, his hands lightly trembling. If Gryffindors had anything to be afraid of, it was Potions class and McGonagall.

“I’m so sorry Professor. I was just practicing my Wingardium Leviosa spell for OWLs.” He reached next to him and patted the pink boy’s head, shooting him an apologetic look when the younger scowled at him. “I tried to levitate my goblet but I must have gotten distracted and it fell.”

You felt Jisung lean towards you, “I call bullshit, the water would have flown everywhere, why just on that poor boy’s head?” Of course Jisung would be the one to use the logical part of his brain to call someone out. 

“You’re definitely a Ravenclaw, aren't you?” You chuckled, nodding at his statement. “As much as I hate to say it, you're right. It was obviously a prank or something.”

“And Mr. Yang,” McGonagall directed her attention to the pink haired boy. One of her hands rested on her hip, “you’re obviously not studying for OWLs, how did you get into this predicament?”

The two boys looked between each other then back at McGonagall. The older one, Mr. Bang, nudged the other with his elbow. At this point they both looked around and noticed the silence in the room, only causing their already pink faces to go full on cherry red.

“Uhh.” The younger one hesitated with his answer. Small droplets of water dripped from the tips of his pink hair. It wasn’t a bright pink, more of a faded bubblegum pink. Whether it was the aftermath of a spell or he chose to do that you weren’t sure but he looked cute. “I was just sitting next to Chan while he was practicing. I’m sorry.”

She nodded before pulling out her wand. With a flick of her wrist and an inaudible mumble of what could only be assumed as a spell, his pink hair flew up, strands flying everywhere before eventually settling back down. Everyone in the Great Hall gasped as they saw his hair was completely dry now. Even the recipient of the spell was surprised, his eyes crossed as he tried to take a look at the hair covering his forehead, mouth gaping open.

“Woah.” The other one, Chan, you could assume, inhaled and lifted his hand up to touch the other’s hair. “How did you do that?” He looked towards McGonagall, all fear and embarrassment gone in favor of wanting to know the spell.

“Maybe I’ll let you know when you pass your OWLs. For now, minus 20 points to Gryffindor.” Her voice conveyed disappointment as she turned around and seemed to glide back up to the big table at the front of the room. 

Once she finished talking a murmur fell among the students. Each table went back to their own devices, studying, eating and gossiping as usual. You continued to eat, your plate slowly dissipating into empty as you listened to the noise around you. Although you couldn’t hear any specific conversation you were content in the atmosphere around you. Noise wasn't always the worst, but more often than not it felt like a million bee buzzing in your head so you tended to lean towards the silent route.

“Oh my god.” As if snapping you out of your thoughts, Jisung nudged you accidentally, pushing his plate away and patting his stomach through his robe. “That was so good I can feel my brain waves flowing.”

“You know sometimes I just have no idea what the fuck you’re saying.” You eyed him, pushing your plate away as well and shaking your head. If you were given a dollar for every time Jisung said something weird you would have been a billionaire in first-year. 

“You don't know how many people have said that to me.” Jisung laughed, the same loud laugh that he always does. A lot of people would make fun of him for having such an animated laugh, yet you never found it annoying. It was like sneezing, when Jisung would laugh you would start to laugh as well. Once he finished laughing, he leaned his head on one of his hands, “anyways, do you have any plans for break?”

“I think I’m gonna stay here, I already told my parents I wanted to study for OWLs and not be distracted.” You paused when you saw students start to get up, signaling it was time for class. “Besides, our family wasn’t one for holidays so I would rather stay here and do something productive instead of just lay around for three weeks.”

Both of you stood up, following the students as they started meandering and finding their way towards their classes. Luckily you shared the first class with Jisung so you just followed him through the crowd, hand clutching a bundle of his robe so you didn't lose him.

The walk to class wasn’t long, and as you two sat down you both took out your books and quills, getting ready for another grueling day of mixing and hoping you don't blow that part of the castle off. Class hadn’t started yet but Jisung looked around at the other students, checking to make sure no one was listening in before leaning closer to you.

“I heard another student is also staying for break, some Hufflepuff.” Jisung said quietly, messing with the vials of liquids out in front of him.

“First of all,” You smacked his hand away from the ingredients for the day’s potion, “don’t fuck with the ingredients, you don't want to end up like that first-year.” Jisung pouted but let you continue, his hands now resting on his book. “Second of all, I’m focusing on my studying, hopefully they stay away and in their own space.”

You knew you sounded harsh, but you also knew that OWLs were the most important exams and you needed to pass them, though preferably not just pass but get high marks. Obviously if you ran into this Hufflepuff you would be polite, but ultimately that was your time to study. Besides, you didn't even know who this other person was. Maybe they were an asshole, then it would be infinitely easier to ignore them.

“I heard he was also a fifth-year. He.” Jisung emphasized it again, elbowing you into the side. “You guys could study together.” When he raised his eyebrows and wiggled in his seat you resorted to pushing Jisung over, laughing but also shooting him an evil eye. “You know when you do that look you just look like a puppy. Totally not intimidated at all.”

“I could push you over again.” You threatened, watching as more people started to file in before class started. “And I definitely do not want you to be my wingman again, I still have nightmares of last time.” Shuddering, you pushed the memory of the Yule Ball to the back of your head.

Jisung looked like he was going to combat your blow to his ability to wingman but before he could, Professor Slughorn strode through the door. All the students fell silent at his entrance, hands folded in front of their books, eyes scanning the liquids and cauldron in front of them.

As you listened to Slughorn drone on, picking up vials and mixing them into the cauldron, you felt a finger poke your elbow. Looking down you saw a piece of paper sitting between you and Jisung. When you looked up at him he was focusing on the front of the room but his mouth was quirked into a smirk that you knew meant that was a note from him. You grabbed it, opening it quickly and trying to read the messy scribbles from Jisung’s quill. When you finally did read it you shook your head, elbowing your best friend, crumbling the paper and putting it in your robe pocket.

“You never know what might happen ;)” - Your favorite wingman.

ii.

“I can’t believe we leave tomorrow.” Jisung’s cheek was pressed against the Herbology book, the page sticking to his skin. The steam from his hot chocolate floated into the air of the library. The pages beneath his face had some important text on whatever plant you were just learning about (if you're honest, you barely remember the name of the damn flower).

“You’ll be okay, Sung.” You reached across the table and patted his head. His hair was soft as always. When you first met him you were sure he used some sort of magic shampoo and conditioner or found a spell to make his hair that smooth but after being friends for 5 years you learned it was just ‘great genes’ as he had put it.

“It’s only for three weeks. Besides we can send each other letters.” Luna rested her hand over yours.

The three of you had been studying for nearly four hours. Having the day off was both a blessing and a curse, no classes but more time to cram studying in. The library was packed with students, all of the seats and window sills filled with bodies and books. Despite having so many students in one space it was quiet, no one wanting to upset the librarian fairies that flew through the bookcases and sought out anyone not following the rules.

“But it’s not the same.” Jisung drew out the last syllable. “I want to annoy you guys in real life not just letters.”

“Trust me you’ll find a way.” A chuckle escaped you when Jisung rolled his eyes, lifting his head and a pout prominent on his face. 

“I guess it’ll be okay.” He looked down at the textbook, fingers quickly skimming over the page before he looked up, an alarming smile on his face. “Oh! Speaking of break,” He leaned closer to you. “I know who is staying here with you.” Jisung winked at you and if you didn’t know that the fairies would kick you out of the library you would have reached around and smacked him in the back of the head.

There was a moment of silence as Jisung waited for you to ask him who it was, and you desperately tried to hold back. You set your mouth in a thin line and shook your head. Yet, your curiosity dug through your brain and got caught in your throat. You knew if you opened your mouth those words would slip through. 

So you did.

“Who is it?” You sighed, waiting for the answer. Truthfully, there wasn't anyone that you didn't want it to be but the answer still shocked you.

“Seo Changbin! The Herbology nerd.” Jisung nearly shouted, and it took you and Luna to tell him to quiet down.

You had known about Seo Changbin, seen him around the castle and in the library and although you didn’t know anything about him besides the fact that he was a Hufflepuff and really good with plants, you did know that he was damn cute.

“Ooh! He’s cute!” Luna squealed, mirroring your thoughts. She bounced in her seat and patted you on the arm. “You guys should study together!”

As much as you would like to entertain that idea, you knew you would have to focus on studying alone. Sure, you could study with Luna and Jisung but that was different, they knew what methods worked and what didn’t. Their humor fit yours and having someone else come in, someone incredibly attractive and cute, would be infinitely more distracting than Jisung’s dick jokes and Luna’s tangents.

“I would rather stay in the solitude of our Common Room.” You noticed the frowns on their faces, so you decided to entertain them and hopefully get them off your back. “But, you never know what could happen, maybe he could help me with my Herbology troubles.”

“You can’t study Herbology without us!” Jisung pouted again, looking down at the book and looking back up at you. You found his pouting funny so you nodded, chuckling when he firmly nodded his head back. “Good. Now let’s please get at least this chapter done before my brain melts.”

iii.

It wasn’t long until you were sitting with Jisung and Luna for the last breakfast before everyone left for break. It was eerily quiet in the whole room, but you didn’t mind it, instead you just ate in silence, enjoying the presence of your friends around you before you couldn’t see them for three weeks.

You smiled when students from other houses were allowed to sit together and you found Seungmin walking over from the Hufflepuff table. He took the empty seat next to Luna, but not before nearly tripping and spilling all his food over the dark blue tablecloths that represented your house.

“Careful dude, I am not sitting next to you if you reek like eggs.” Jisung said with a full mouth, a laugh nearly sending his breakfast flying.

“You’re telling me to be careful yet you're the one talking with a mouth full of food.” Seungmin’s eyebrows raised. Jisung looked like he was going to argue back but decided against it. As soft as Seungmin looked, he was not afraid to stand up for himself (or anyone else, for that matter.) 

“Both of you should be careful. If one of you spills on me and I have to take another shower I’m sending you a howler for Christmas.” You threatened, looking up at them through your lashes as you ate all you could.

Jisung stood up, arms raised in surrender and it took you yanking on his robe sleeve for him to sit down. “Okay,” He said a little too loudly, causing a few Slytherins to shoot you looks. “I surrender to you, your majesty.” You smacked his arm but laughed along with everyone else.

You stopped laughing before the rest of your friends did so you looked around at them, letting out a breath you didn’t know you had held onto. It was nice to laugh as loud as you wanted to and feel just that little bit of relief from stress before you were left alone to study until your brain turned to mush. 

For the past few weeks you had convinced yourself you would be okay alone and that was definitely true to some extent, you loved to be alone and be left to study or read or learn new spells that might come in handy. You had even taken to learning the hair drying spell McGonagall used and that cut getting ready in half. As much as you loved to be alone you knew that you would have to distract yourself somewhat to not think about your friends and how much you would be missing them.

If anything, you knew you could sneak into Hogsmeade or take a stroll up to the Astronomy Tower or the Owlery and send a letter to your friends but you knew that a part of you would still miss them.

Your thoughts were cut off by Jisung tapping you on the head, his face coming into view as you spaced out looking at one of the illuminated lanterns on the wall above the Gryffindor table.

“Hello? Earth to Y/N? Anyone in there?” When you looked down you realized your friends were all staring at you. Jisung’s finger was still tapping on your head and you shook him off.

“Of course I’m here, just thinking about my schedule of studying.” It wasn’t a lie, you had made a calendar of subjects you would study every day with breaks to spend in the Astronomy Tower to calm you down.

“You’re gonna miss us aren’t you?” Luna asked, chewing on the rest of her food before snapping and watching as it disappeared to the dishwasher. She was always the straightforward one of the group, and that was saying something because mister honesty sat directly next to you.

“I’m definitely going to miss you Luna.” You nodded then gestured towards Seungmin and Jisung. “These two, though, I’m glad I’m gonna get some peace and quiet.”

“Hey!” They both said simultaneously.

“You know I’m kidding. Of course I'll miss you all like fucking crazy but like you said, we can send letters and I am happy I get extra time to study for OWLs.” You knew it was stupid to lie to them so you told the truth.

Everyone nodded before they went back to eating. It didn’t take long before everyone was finished, your plates gone and bellies full. After a long speech by the Headmaster students started getting up, some saying bye to friends and leaving and others just sitting and waiting for their ride to arrive.

“So,” Seungmin leaned forward on his elbows. “I heard that Changbin was also staying behind. He’s a sweet guy, always studying as well. He’s a few doors down from mine in the dorm and I hear him singing all the time. He’s damn good.” Jisung and Luna chuckled, wiggling their eyebrows at you.

“He sounds like a cool dude, maybe we could be friends after OWLs.” You held up your book. There was a moment of silence and you spoke up again. Before you could stop yourself your curiosity got the better of you. “Do you know why he’s staying back?” 

“No idea, sorry.” Seungmin said. He looked up front before jumping up and grabbing his suitcase in a haste. “Oh shit my ride is here, I gotta go. Bye guys, have fun!”

You three said your goodbyes to the back of Seungmin’s head, watching his yellow scarf fly in the wind as he squeezed past everyone, muttering “excuse me”s and “sorry”s to anyone he bumped into. As soon as he was gone you turned back to Luna and Jisung, eyeing them as they skimmed through their books. Everyone was cramming before leaving for home, having three weeks at home without the pressure of studying was a godsend to most but some preferred taking their books with them to study while at home.

Although they were Ravenclaws, Jisung and Luna definitely did not share that sentiment. They much preferred to abandon all notion of studying in favor of taking a break. “Studying is important but there was only so much you can do before your brain explodes.” Professor Flitwick had said one day when he met with all of your house.

“So,” Jisung started and you held your breath, knowing something was coming. “Just friends?” He smirked and before you could shoot him down he continued. “All I’m saying is learning and studying is important, I wouldn’t be a Ravenclaw if I didn’t think so, but it’s also important to have a little fun here and there. You’ll have a lot of time and I know you’re not just going to spend it studying or in the Astronomy Tower.”

Shooting him a look you shrugged, he was right and you knew it but you would be dipped in Hell before admitting it to the boy in front of you. There would definitely be a lot of down time considering it was just you in the whole castle (and Changbin but you chose to ignore that thought). 

“Chill out horndog.” Jisung chuckled at your attempt at an insult, patting you on the head. “If I did hang out with Changbin it definitely would be as just friends, no matter how cute he is.”

Jisung’s face moved and his mouth twisted, him mouthing a ‘I can't hear you’ which you knew wasn't true, Jisung acted like he wasn’t listening but his ears were as good as an owl’s. He heard anything and everything in a mile radius and could repeat it back to anyone in a heartbeat. So you were sure he heard you.

“Oh look!” Jisung jumped up, picking up his suitcase and cage with his owl Albert before looking back. “My ride’s here, hope you have fun with Mr. Dreamy Puff, you better spill all the juice when I get back.” 

“There will be no juice to spill but sure, whatever helps you sleep at night. Have fun!” You yelled after Jisung. He waved behind him, body weaving through everyone and you swore you saw him almost take out a group of first-years on his way to the front of the castle.

“He’s gonna bowl someone over one day.” Luna shook her head, looking back to you. There was a quick silence before she spoke again “I’m not gonna pester you about Changbin, just remember to have fun as well as study. You have the castle pretty much all to yourself, enjoy it.” 

You nodded, thankful you had Luna to not drive you completely insane like the two boys. After her statement you two sat in silence, occasionally chatting about Herbology or the latest Potions mishap. Around you students hurried to the front, the occasional pile up happening when a student tripped or knocked someone over.

Eventually you looked up from your book, foregoing studying for the moment and instead enjoying the noise and presence of everyone in the room. As time went on students filed out, the big suitcases and cages full of animals that lined the walls slowly dissipating until only a handful were left.

“My ride is here.” Luna quickly packed her book in her suitcase, zipping everything up and standing.

You pulled her into a hug, smelling the peppermint shampoo that changed scents based on the season (it was her favorite buy from Hogsmeade). The smell was pungent, like drinking butterbeer after chewing gum, but it was a smell that you knew you would miss. 

“Relax a little, okay? Don’t stress about OWLs until after you get back.” You joked with her, knowing she would have fun with her unconventional family.

“I could say the same for you.” Luna tightened her scarf around her neck, the tip of her nose already red from the cold air bellowing in from the doors. “I’ll send letters, Scarlett has no problem flying to the castle.” Her owl stirred in its cage, the white feathers standing out against the bronze bars.

“Of course, I’ll send letters too, though it’ll probably just be me ranting about how many potions we have to memorize and me worrying I'll burn my eyebrows off doing it wrong.” You both laughed. “Now go! I don’t want you to miss the ride to the train.”

“Okay, okay. I’m going!” Luna darted away, screaming a final, “goodbye!” before disappearing into the white snow.

“Bye!” You shouted even though you knew she couldn’t hear you.

There were only three other students in the Great Hall waiting for the last train home. The high windows cast a shadow on your side of the room, the sun going down and the light bending. You weren’t sure if Changbin was there, there were two boys sitting at the Hufflepuff table yet having not seen the Changbin’s face, you had no indication that he was anywhere to be seen.

It wasn’t like you were looking for him or anything.

After looking up and down the table you noticed you were the only Ravenclaw left, even the seventh-year prefect Woojin was gone, having been one of the last ones to leave and help the first-years to the train. It all looked so empty sitting there, so you decided to call it a night and start the three week break in the morning.

You didn’t bother looking at anyone as you walked past, fingers playing with the pages in your Charms book as you made your way to the Ravenclaw Common Room. 

Once you were inside, having solved the riddle lock many times before and answering immediately, you looked around and sighed. You decided not to think about how empty it was, instead focusing on walking up the stairs to your room. Although your bed was soft, you looked over and saw Luna’s empty one, a small pang echoing in your chest.

“I just need some sleep.” You muttered to no one but yourself. “I’ll feel better in the morning.” Turning over, you faced the window. The snow cascaded down so hard it almost looked like rain. It was calming, along with the mix of cold and warm from the fireplace in the Common Room.

You knew the first night alone would be hard but the particular lack of a human presence anywhere near you was the most difficult thing. At night if you couldn't sleep you would find yourself talking out loud and eventually Luna would respond to you. That time, however, she wasn’t there to respond.

The first night is the worst, you thought to yourself, twisting under the comforter and trying to find a comfortable position. Just get through the first night and you’ll be okay.

Taking a deep breath you closed your eyes, reviewing different charms and spells that you had learned through the week. It was a nice distraction, and you felt yourself drift off with the sound of the wind in the background.

iv.

The start of the third day you woke up with a massive headache.

The previous two days had been spent in the Common Room, a big blue and bronze quilt draped over your figure as you stayed curled up on one of the large couches. The fireplace remained warm and inviting and you found yourself content in reading about Transfiguration and the history of magic for the first two days.

Starting the third day with a pain almost as bad as hearing the screaming of a Mandrake was definitely not how you wanted it to start, but there you were.

“Oh, fuck.” Your hand stayed on your head as you sat up, temples thumping with a rush of blood. The light from your lamp burned as you opened your eyes, forcing you to squint. 

It’s not like you hadn’t gotten enough sleep, in fact, one could argue you got too much. There were often times you sat in the large chair, book in your lap, that you found yourself dozing off, time disappearing into dust in an hourglass. You were only focused on the words in front of you and the sense of dusk outside that forced you to trudge up the stairs and finally sleep in your bed.

The rumbling of your stomach made you stand up, slipping into your robe and fixing your bed head. The time on the clock indicating it was breakfast time so you slowly trudged down towards the Great Hall, the paintings whispering as you walked by. 

As soon as you walked through the large open doors you stopped in your tracks. The Great Hall had transformed. In the middle of the room was the giant Christmas tree, lights twinkling like stars and bulbs filled with full snow scenes glittering across the branches. At the very top stood a fairy, twirling on her toe like a ballerina.

On the edge of the room right next to the fireplaces were small tables, sets of chairs set up for anyone to rest in. All of the chairs were empty except one.

Seo Changbin. 

His back was to the door, not noticing you walked in. Wanting to stay out of his eyesight, you quickly shuffled to a table as far away as possible, wincing when you pulled the chair out and a loud noise echoed through the large room. When Changbin didn’t look back you let out a breath of relief.

Your plate appeared in front of you, with all the food the castle had to offer for breakfast. Again your stomach reminded you of exactly what you came there for. You ate in silence, the past two days of living on a small dinner you would sneak down to the Great Hall to get and the few snacks you hadn’t eaten from your last outing at Hogsmeade.

As you ate your eyes wandered, settling on the only other person in the room, and you were surprised to find his eyes staring back at you. Immediately you lowered your head, playing with the egg on your plate. All the food was nearly gone and after not eating much you found your stomach was definitely full.

You were about to wave your wand to send your plate to the dishwashers when the feeling you were being watched washed over you. Pausing, you assessed your options. You took the easy way out, looking up and coming face to face with none other than Seo Changbin.

You never had enough time to actually look at him, only recognizing his name from first-year when you were sorted into your houses and being called in some classes. Now that he was standing in front of you, you noticed how handsome he was.

He had two yellow and black scarves wrapped tightly around his neck, his robe held close to his body. His cheeks and nose were a soft rosy color, as if he had fallen asleep face first on a pillow. Dark hair framed his face, red highlights reflecting in the light of the candles. His eyes were bright despite their dark color, lips curled into a slight smile and you felt a warmth different from the warmth of the candles in the room.

“Hi.” His voice was light, barely leaving his lips in a wisp of condensation from his hot breath.

“Hi.” You responded, a smile making its way onto your face.

There was a moment of silence and you realized that Changbin’s hands were resting on the back of the chair in front of you, the sound of his nails tapping onto the wood the only noise. It echoed through the room loudly. Or you just thought it was loud, the silence heightening everything around you.

“Can I sit here?” Changbin asked, pointing to the chair across from you. When you nodded Changbin smiled wider, slowly pulling out his chair and sitting down. As opposed to almost all other Hufflepuffs you’ve known, he stayed silent upon looking back up at you. Normally you would feel uncomfortable under someone’s stare, but you found yourself entranced with the way his eyes shone in the candlelight.

“So,” you broke the silence, “I see you’re also staying here for break.” Great, just the state the obvious. You thought to yourself. Looking down you noticed your plate still there, quickly taking out your wand from your robe and mumbling the spell, watching as it disappeared from in front of you.

“Yea, yea I am.” Changbin paused for a moment, softly hitting his temple with his fist. “Oh shit, I forgot to introduce myself, you probably think I’m weird. My name’s Seo Changbin, Hufflepuff, fifth-year.” He stuck out his hand and you chuckled at his adorable expression, like he was mentally hitting himself.

“I’m Y/N, Ravenclaw, fifth-year as well.” You reached out, his hand was warm and fit well in your own. The handshake was done way too fast, you noticed, trying not to let a pout show itself. 

It was then that you realize you had quite literally rolled out of bed earlier, rubbing a hand over your face and smoothing down your hair with your other. “I just woke up, I probably look so bad right now.” You laughed.

“I think you look cute.” Changbin mumbled, shrugging his head and looking down at his hands. Before you could reply - quite possibly with a you too - he looked back up at you. “I just woke up as well, I was up all last night studying for OWLs and I was so hungry I figured I should probably have breakfast.” 

“Are you nervous for the exams?” You were intrigued about whether or not everyone else was as scared about OWLs as you and your friends were. Just from the tidbits Jisung heard around the castle, Gryffindors were leisurely studying, Slytherins were nowhere to be seen in the library, probably studying in their Common Room, and most Hufflepuffs were in their own little study groups, determined on studying almost as much as Ravenclaws were.

“I definitely am. I think most of us are, we all have one or two subjects we are the most scared for.” You nodded along to his words, watching the way his fingers tapped on the table. 

“What subjects are the hardest for you?” You asked.

“Charms for sure. This dumb thing,” he pulled out his wand from his robe, “refuses to listen to me sometimes.”

His wand was very pretty, you noted. Dark wood with specs of gold glittered throughout it. A lighter brown wood flashed from beneath his fingers and you saw a soft glow from the tip as he waved it around. When he put it back in his robe you trailed your eyes back up to his face, a lopsided grin stuck on it.

“How about you? Surely you don’t have anything you’re too worried about, you’re top of our class.” Changbin leaned forward, shoulders no longer slouched in an uncomfortable position. It surprised you that he knew who you were, yet a smile involuntary made its way onto your face. 

You shrugged, not wanting to admit that your worst subject was one that his house should be the best at. “I’m not top of the class.” When Changbin raised his eyebrows you chuckled. “Okay, okay, top five, but I’m not first!”  He raised his hands up in defeat, a louder laugh echoing from the both of you. From the top of the Christmas tree the fairy chuckled as well.

“You’re avoiding my question.” Changbin smirked, crossing his arms in a playful manner.

“You’re really observant.” At this point you weren’t avoiding his question because of embarrassment, it was actually quite fun to mess around with someone other than Jisung. 

“You do know I’m a Hufflepuff? There’s no way in hell I’m going to let you off the hook.” 

You sighed dramatically, throwing yourself onto the table and smiling at the table upon hearing Changbin’s laugh. Actually, it was more of a giggle than a laugh. But either way it was really cute and you were sure you wanted to hear it more often.

“Herbology.” You mumbled into the table. When a sound of confusion came from the boy across from you, you spoke up. “Herbology!”

There was silence, and when you looked up you almost had the wind knocked out of you. Changbin was smiling, an extremely big smile that made his eyes disappear and his nose scrunch up. You’re friends had told you he was cute but he blew past that statement. He was more than just cute, he was like ultra cute with a big side of extremely handsome.

You were too busy admiring Changbin that you missed what he said, your face heating up when you had to ask. “What?”

“I said,” He chuckled again, arms unfolding and resting back onto the table. “I’m quite good at Herbology, one of the top in the class, in fact.” Although he said that, it wasn’t in a bragging tone, more of a proud hint to his voice. “I can help you if you want?”

The reminder of the loneliness you would be going back to if you said no creeped into your mind. Paired with a small warmth that spread through you when Changbin smiled prompted you to nod. 

“Sure. I definitely need it.” You chuckled, completely forgetting about the deal you made with Jisung. 

Above you the fairy on the Christmas tree squealed. “Ah, young love!” She screamed, her shrill voice echoing through the large room and piercing your ears. As she said that you're whole body felt warm, but not the warmth that previously came and went. Looking at Changbin you found his face turned towards the floor, his cheeks dusted once again with pink and the corners of his lips pulled into a small smile.

“So what were you planning on doing today?” Changbin asked, the tint in his cheeks slowly fading. Perhaps you were letting your loneliness guide you, but you found yourself drawn into Changbin and his soft smile and pretty laugh. That or you had been slipped a love potion in your breakfast. Or Changbin was just that alluring. 

It was probably the last one.

“Just studying.” You shrugged, not having anything special except digging your face in a book. “That’s why I stayed here for break. That and the fact that all my relatives in one house together isn’t the best thing to go home to.” 

“I get it, family is complicated.” Changbin nodded. “Do you wanna maybe study together? You know that saying, two heads are better than one.”

“Yea, I think that would be leagues better than staying cooped up in my Common Room. I can only take so many taunts from the paintings outside for not coming out all day.” You rolled your eyes, reminded of the annoying voices that were seemingly like a loudspeaker in the Common Room. How their voices carried through the walls like that, you had no clue, but you wished that they had built the castle more soundproof.

“Oh don’t remind me.” Changbin groaned. “I get a lot of shit from our paintings as well. So annoying.”

“So do you want to go to the library?” You asked, getting up from your spot at the table. “Oh wait, I need to stop by my Common Room to get my scarf, it’s only going to get colder as the day goes on.” There were plenty of books in the library to study from, not needing your assigned textbooks just yet. You definitely didn’t, however, want to die from hypothermia. 

Changbin stood up as well, hand tousling the messy hair at the back of his head. “Do you wanna use my extra scarf?” His other hand played with the edges of the extra fabric around his neck. “I mean, as long as you don’t mind wearing another house’s colors.”

“Oh,” You said, surprised. “I don’t mind, but won’t you be cold?”

“I’ll be fine, it’s actually kinda hot in here so I was going to take it off anyways.” Changbin’s face was flushed, teeth pulling at his bottom lip. 

“Okay then, thank you.” You smiled, watching him quickly unravel the yellow fabric and hold it out for you. When you grabbed it you noticed how warm it was, like it had been sitting in front of a heater for an hour. You didn’t mind though, wrapping it around your neck and nearly nuzzling into it. There was a delicate smell to it, like laundry soap that had just started to fade and you wondered if this is how Changbin smelled in general.

Stop it, you thought to yourself, just friends. Focus on OWLs. Your fingers played with the edge of the scarf. It was then that you noticed Changbin staring at you, waiting for you to do something, and you realized you had just been standing there playing with the loose strings of the accessory. 

“So,” You flipped the scarf over your shoulder, striking an overdramatic pose. “How do I look?” The warmth came back when Changbin laughed, and you fought to smother it into ashes.

“Hm, I think you look fabulous, a natural Hufflepuff.” You smacked his shoulder. “Hey! That was the highest compliment I could have given you.” Loud laughter echoed through the Great Hall again, and you were sure the unicorns and other animals in the Forbidden Forest could have heard it from over there.

“Okay let’s go before you think up any other ‘compliments’ for me.” You gestured towards the library. It was only two floors up so luckily it wasn’t that far of a walk, but you still wanted to get it over with so you could relax in the soft chairs up above.

“You say that like I don’t already have a whole catalogue loaded into my brain.” Changbin turned towards the big doors, looking up in the general direction of the library. “I’ll race you?”

Upon hearing that you got into what you could only assume was a good enough stance for getting ready to run. “Okay.” You said, crouching down even more and looking towards your right at Changbin. “1, 2, 3, go!”

With that, you took off, laughing at the faded yelling of Changbin following behind you. Everything turned into a blur, yellow streaks from your (Changbin’s) scarf and the words being screamed at you from the paintings quickly passing by faded until you didn’t care about anything. It was freeing, being able to run through the halls and not worry about losing points (though you did think about the paintings ratting you out to the professors when they came back).

As soon as you had passed through the door to the library you stopped in your tracks, hands resting on your knees and breath coming out in small gasps. It wasn’t everyday you ran as fast as you did, in fact, the last time you did run that fast you were being chased by a small troll through the Forbidden Forest.

You took your time walking to one of the plush chairs surrounding a huge table, plopping down on it unceremoniously. Yeah, you had won the race, but had you really won the race? 

Within a few seconds of sitting down Changbin came bounding through the door frame, chest pumping with every labored breath he took. He followed the same path as you, starting with his hands on his knees and then slowly shuffling towards a chair. Unlike you, he nearly collapsed before reaching the chair, fortunately he barely made it, a loud thud echoing through the library when he fell into it.

“Holy,” He took a breath and let it out, “shit.” Changbin laid back in the chair, hands clasped in front of his stomach. “You’re so,” Another breath, “fucking fast.”

“I knew a shortcut.” You tried to laugh but all that came out was a puff of air, lungs still working overtime to provide you oxygen.

“Damn Ravenclaws.” Changbin mumbled, his breath still escaping in short puffs.

You both took a few minutes to calm down, your backs resting comfortably on the plush cushions. You felt your breath even out, a small bead of sweat falling from your hairline. The smell of old books filled your nostrils, small fibers from the scarf coming up to tickle your nose. Although you had just run until you felt like your lungs would pop, you felt relaxed.

Snow fell softly outside, cascading past the windows of the library and making everything feel like a winter wonderland even from the comfort of the heat filled castle. There was a sense of urgency to study, what with so little time until OWLs, yet as you sat there, you also felt comfort wash over you. You still had a month and a half, there was time.

“We should start studying now.” Changbin said, his voice still holding an airiness to it. Despite him saying that, neither of you moved, feet staying planted on the plush carpet. Neither of you bothered to even sit up, backs being scrunched up slightly from slouching.

A few more minutes passed by, your fingers stroking the soft chair and head turned to watch the snow falling outside. You desperately wanted to grab a thick coat and just lie in the snow for a few hours. Or a few days. Or a few weeks. However long it took for your mind to stop worrying about OWLs.

“Penny for your thoughts?” His soft voice pierced the silence, and you tore your eyes away from the winter wonderland outside to look at Changbin. His hair was cut perfectly, some strands wavy and messy while others completely straight. His eyes were completely calm, just observing you and you felt more exposed than if you were just given a truth serum.

“Just thinking about the snow and OWLs.” You rested your cheek on your shoulder (well, the thick yellow scarf covering your shoulder) eyes closing for a moment of peace before opening them to Changbin’s gaze again. “You know, stressing about exams is my secret talent.” You continued, a near silent chuckle escaping you.

“You don’t have anything to worry about, you’re one of the smartest people in the castle, but a little extra studying won’t hurt.” Changbin sat up, a loud huff accompanied by a puff of air following his statement.

“Fine, fine.” You sat up as well, tightening Changbin’s scarf around your neck. There was a slight scent of pine needles and cinnamon, an unlikely combination but it made you immediately relax. “But don’t blame me if I start dozing off, your scarf is way more comfortable than any of mine.”

“If you want, you can keep it, I have Hufflepuff friends that took up knitting and can make me however many I want.” Changbin smiled and you declined to retort with, well they won’t smell like you. 

“I’ll think about it.” You looked around at the rows of books, debating silently what subject to start first. Of course, the logical thing would be to start on what you were the worst at, but sometimes you decided to ignore those thoughts in favor of working up to the worst. “So where should we start? History of magic?”

With Changbin’s nod you both set out a plan of gathering books, spreading them on the table and skimming through each one. Occasionally you would quiz one another, loud laughter erupting in the normally quiet space when one of you would mumble a funny answer to one of the questions. 

That continued until the sky started turning orange outside the windows, a deeper sense of fatigue settling over the both of you and reminding you both that sleep was an important part of studying. It was then that you both rose from your seats, uttering a soft goodbye with a warm handshake as you both went your separate ways to your Common Rooms.

It was also that night that you realized you hadn’t taken his scarf off.

v.

This pattern of eating breakfast in peace at the same table and racing to the library to study all day went on for a few more days until one morning you approached your normal table, plates of food already laid out. Changbin was already sat down, stuffing his cheeks with everything he could fit in there. 

“Are you okay?” You asked, sitting down in front of him and starting to eat. You noticed it was everything you always put on your plate, and your face heated up at the thought of Changbin paying that close of attention on you. Luckily you could hide any hint of the heat rising with the scarf - Changbin’s scarf - wrapped around your neck.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” His cheeks were still stuffed with food, words coming out slightly jumbled. “I figured today could be the day we get some good old hands-on practice!”

“Okay, I’m both confused and worried at the same time.” You started eating, the warmth from the food spreading through your body and instantly brightening you up from the bone chilling cold night before. 

You both ate in silence, Changbin finishing before you and spending his extra time looking at the Christmas tree. He had a small smile on his face, the lights from the ornaments dancing across his features. With the soft light from the tree illuminating you both, you sat staring at Changbin, who was quite literally glowing.

“Okay so what are we doing today?” You asked, sending your plate away once you had finished eating.

A sly grin made its way onto Changbin’s face and he leaned forward, hand resting underneath his chin. “It’s a surprise.”

“Oh, great. I love surprises.” You said sarcastically, yet a smile still popped up. As much as you tried to act upset or annoyed at not knowing, you couldn’t stop the warmth that filled you at having Changbin’s smile, albeit mischievous, directed at you.

Changbin stood up, extending his hand towards you. Confused, you stood up as well, putting your hand into his and feeling the warmth heat up when he interlaced your fingers. “Close your eyes.” The last thing you saw before darkness washed over you was the slight tint of pink on Changbin’s cheeks and the tilt of his lips up in a now genuine smile.

You inched forward slowly, Changbin’s hand firmly secured in your own so you didn’t accidentally walk into a wall or something. “Just trust me.” Changbin’s voice came from directly next to you and he squeezed your hand softly. You chose not to reply, just squeezing his hand back and waiting as he started picking up the pace.

When you finally started walking normally you focused your other senses, listening to the pictures mumble things about people in the castle over break, to which Changbin firmly shushed them. His hand was warm, palm moist with a thin layer of sweat. Whether it was from your hand in his or the warmth of the fireplaces providing heat you didn’t know. 

From what you knew of the placement of the paintings, you were headed in the opposite direction of the library. As you already guessed, you knew that you weren’t going there, yet the curiosity still ate you up inside. 

All of a sudden Changbin stopped and you almost ran into him, a sound of surprise coming from your lips. The feeling of his eyes on you even though you couldn’t see him made you impatient. You tapped your shoe on the ground, trying to fill the silence with some sort of noise. 

“Okay you can open your eyes.” Changbin said, slowly disconnecting your hands and you had to fight to keep the frown off your face.

Opening your eyes you found you were stood in front of the door to the Herbology room, the full glass wall showing the rows and rows of plants all laid out. The thought of actually handling them while the professor wasn’t there was worrying, and you looked towards a smiling Changbin with raised eyebrows.

“So we’re going to be messing with the plants? Without the professor?” Your voice raised slightly in worry.

“Well, yeah. Why else would I bring you here?” The smile on Changbin’s face comforted you, yet you still had the thought of not being allowed in there. “I know what you’re thinking,” Changbin continued on when he noticed you not answering, “Professor Longbottom asked me to stay behind during break to tend to the plants. You could say I have a green thumb.” He gave a thumbs up and you chuckled.

“So I’m not gonna die of a mandrake’s scream or anything?” Changbin chuckled at your question. 

“Just trust me.” He said, opening up the door and gesturing for you to walk in. “I wouldn’t let you die, there’s no one else to pin it on if you do.” 

“Ha ha,” you faked a laugh, walking into the Herbology room. It was a completely glass room, and you could see the thick snow blanket on the ground outside. You had to admit it was a very beautiful sight, and you stood in awe. The rainbow of plants contrasting with the pitch white outside was picture perfect.

“Beautiful isn’t it?” Changbin came up behind you, walking down to the opposite end of the room. From there, he picked up two pots, each with similar looking leaves and shapes. You were still mesmerized by the picturesque background to focus on anything that was happening in the warm room. 

“Penny for your thoughts?” Changbin asked, much closer. He was still holding the two pots of plants.

“It’s just, so beautiful.” You had seen snow plenty of times before, being at Hogwarts for five years and being there for the slow building cold months, but nothing compared to the sight you saw. The inches of snow coating the ground made everything look bright, even the dark leaves on the trees at the edge of the forest were stark white. It was like a winter wonderland you would only see on TV.

“Yea it is.” Changbin sat the pots down, turning around and leaning on the table. He faced the outside, a soft smile on his face as he watched the slow cascading of the snow. “I’ve been staying here for the past two years to take care of the plants and I’ll never get tired of how gorgeous this view is.” 

When you tore your eyes away from the outside you looked towards Changbin, your face becoming hot upon noticing he was staring at you. You smiled at him, turning around towards the plants on the table. “So what are these?” You asked. You recognized the colors and leaf shapes but you doubted you could dig deep in your brain to remember what their names and purposes were.

“Well,” Changbin turned around, gesturing to the plant on the left. “This one is wormwood. We’ve used it before in Potions class. It’s most commonly used for healing potions, but putting too much could result in extreme effects including death. Kinda ironic.”

You nodded along, watching the way Changbin softly petted the plant. It was almost as if he was communicating with them. His touch was gentle, the same sort of gentle as when he held your hand while leading you to the classroom.

“This one is very similar, both in looks and use. This is dittany.” He pointed to the other plant to his right. “It’s used for healing but doesn’t need to be mixed into a potion, just one leaf could heal a skin wound.” 

You again nodded at what he was saying, trying to distinguish between the two. It became easier as you observed them up close, closer than the professor would let anyone in class. Everything started clicking together and as you listened to Changbin go on and on about each and every plant in the room (besides the mandrakes, you already knew plenty from the extensive lesson in second-year) you started understanding just how to tell the difference between each and every plant. For so long you despised walking into Herbology class but the way Changbin described it made it seem so simple and even a little bit fun.

As he went on you helped him tend to the plants, listening to him naming and describing each one along the way. The way his eyes would light up upon looking at each different pot as he walked along made a smile appear on your face. He was so engulfed in talking that he didn’t notice you stop at the end of a row, watching as he was oblivious to everything happening around him.

When he finally noticed you weren't behind him he had reached the opposite end of the row, turning around and seeing you standing so far away at the other end of the room. He had stopped talking, fingers tapping on the wood table in front of him. His lip was pulled between his teeth, a hint of rose on his cheeks.

“Sorry, I get carried away with talking about the plants.” He shrugged, looking back up at you. 

“No it’s okay.” It was your turn to get embarrassed, even though moments ago you had kind of, not really, been staring at him unabashedly. “I’m learning so much better than if I was stuck in front of a textbook all day. Besides,” You started walking up the row slowly, recalling all the plant’s names in your head. You could remember some of them, and you thought that even a little progress was progress nonetheless. “I love listening to people talk about what they’re passionate about.”

“What are you passionate about?” Changbin asked.

You thought for a moment, your feet stopping in front of a lily flower. “Learning.” You started, “I’ve also really loved astronomy since I was a kid. It’s one of my best subjects.” 

“I’m not that great with astronomy. They’re so far away that I just end up not caring too much but the stars are pretty to look at.”

“I can help you with it one day if you want?” You asked as you started to walk forward again. Outside a strong wind whistled through the trees but you paid no mind, focusing instead on the pricks of the leaves of each plant you passed by. You made sure not to touch the poisonous ones, Changbin was a plant expert but he couldn’t stop the effects of any of the deadly plants.

There was silence as Changbin nodded, turning around to load the mister with water for the plants. By the time you made your way up to him he had finished, facing you again with the same pink cheeks and smile on his face. You pushed down the thought of leaning forward just a bit more, and instead pulled back, one of your hands going to stroke the leaves of a dittany plant. The room was a mix of scents, though the unmistaken rush of cinnamon from the scarf around your neck flushed everything else out. 

“I, uh, I think that's enough for the day.” Changbin was the first to break the silence, one hand playing with his sleeve while the other tapped on the table in front of him. “Those are all the ones Professor Longbottom said would be on the test, but don’t tell him I told you.”

“There’s no paintings in here to eavesdrop and rat us out so your secret’s safe with me.” You made a lock gesture over your mouth, lightly tossing the imaginary key over your shoulder. 

“Hm.” He put his hand on his chin, stroking an imaginary beard. “Okay, I guess I can trust you.”

“Well you've already told me so you’ve got no choice.” You laughed, noticing the sun starting to set outside. Long shadows made the glass room you were in seem much more eerie. “So, should we get going back to our rooms? It’s getting dark.”

Changbin leaned forward, the same damned smirk on his face and you didn’t know whether you wanted to slap it off or kiss it off. “Are you scared? I can protect you.” He raised his right arm, flexing it but with his thick robe in the way you couldn’t see any hint of muscle.

“If anyone is gonna need protecting it’s you,” You jabbed at his arm, laughing when he feigned hurt. “I’m the stronger one here.” You mimicked Changbin, holding up your right arm and flexing.

“Remind me never to meet you in an alley, I’m afraid I’ll get my ass beat.” Changbin held up his hands in defeat, eyebrows raised and a loud laugh coming from his mouth. When he lowered his arms his smile lowered as well. “It’s getting really dark though, do you want me to walk you back to your Common Room?” 

You were going to decline, but then you remembered what you said only moments ago. Perhaps tonight was the best night to help him in return. “Actually, I have a surprise for you.”

Another strong wind from outside rustled the branches of the trees. The sun had almost completely set, and you knew that was the perfect opportunity to go somewhere you had been missing out on since everyone left for break. 

“Oh? Okay, where are we going?” Changbin asked.

“It’s a surprise.” You smirked, leaning forward and grabbing his hand as he did to you earlier in the day. “Close your eyes.” 

You waited for Changbin to close his eyes, not before giving you a very suspicious look to which you raised your eyebrows. Once he did, you interlaced your fingers with his, taking notice on how sweaty they were. Deciding not to torture him too much, you started walking, taking special care not to bump him into any walls or anything. 

“You better not be leading me to the pools to push me in.” Changbin threatened from behind you, the hand that wasn’t grasped in yours covering his eyes. 

“I’m not that cruel.” You chuckled, almost wincing at how tight he was holding your hand. On the surface you could see no nervousness, but with the way his fingers twitched and the small scrunch of his nose you knew he was hesitant. “Just trust me, I trusted you right?” When Changbin made a small noise of agreement you continued. “Exactly, you’ll be fine.” 

A silence filled the castle as you continued walking, knowing it was only a few more minutes before you made it to your destination. A deep rumble came from behind you and before you could ask any questions the familiar notes of a Christmas song came flowing around you. You decided not to say anything, enjoying the soft sound of Changbin’s voice behind you drowning out the murmurs of the paintings you passed. 

By the time you got to the tower Changbin was humming the end of the Christmas song, his thumb tapping the rhythm into your hand. It was quite comforting to have his voice fill the silence, bouncing off the walls and seemingly echoing through the whole castle.

“Okay.” You stopped in front of the doors, giggling at how Changbin almost ran into you. “You can open your eyes now.” 

Changbin took his hand off his face, eyes opening and immediately finding yours before searching around. His mouth dropped open when he saw the intricate carvings on the door in front of you.

“As payment for you helping me with Herbology I decided to help you with Astronomy.” You released his hand, a cold air rushing in and reminding you how empty it was.

“Aren’t we gonna get in trouble if we’re in there?” Changbin asked, the hand that was previously in yours fall to his side, palm slowly rubbing on his robe.

“Professor Sinistra lets me up here all the time.” You proceeded forward, holding open the door and waiting for him to follow. “I go up here at least twice a week, you’ll be fine, I promise.” 

Changbin didn’t say anything as he followed, the only sounds being your feet on the steps going up to the top of the tower. You had climbed these steps hundreds of times before but it never really got easier, you found. It was extremely tall, the tallest thing in the castle, and your legs always felt like jelly by the time you made it to the top. 

That time, as well, your legs wobbled when you finally reached the top, but a hand rested lightly on your back, steadying you and preventing you from falling. “Careful.” Changbin’s voice was very close behind you, his fingertips just barely pressing into your spine. “I thought you said you had been up here many times before.” 

“I guarantee your legs would never get used to walking up these stairs either.” You shot him a side eye, walking over to the far end of the room and sitting down. “Come on.” You patted the spot next to you. You didn’t see Changbin come to sit next to you but you felt his presence move and eventually settle beside you. 

“It’s so beautiful.” Changbin followed your eyes to the ceiling. Night had settled in and with the darkness of the forest around the castle it only amplified the bright show above your heads. You made a noise of agreement, your shoulder brushing up against Changbin’s. 

“So, test time.” Changbin groaned at your statement and you rolled your eyes, resting back on your hands as you continued to search the sky for the perfect question. “Where is Capella?”

Once you found it yourself, you looked over at Changbin, chuckling at the absolutely clueless look on his face. The light from the stars lit up his features, his pouted lips, scrunched up nose and quick flickering eyes all shone with a glittering shimmer. 

“Don’t laugh at me!” Changbin’s pout extended further when he heard your laugh, “How do you find them? They all look the same.” 

You tried to not laugh anymore, but the way his lip jutted out and the loud sigh that escaped him was too cute, so you chuckled again. “You have to put it in perspective of Polaris, the North Star.”

“There,” You pointed up towards the bright star directly above you both, “is Polaris. So Capella is due east of Polaris and it’s also one of the brightest stars. We learned about this in second year. There it is.” You found the constellation it was in and pointed, looking over at Changbin and finding him squinting in the general direction of where your finger was. 

“Which one?” Changbin asked, still squinting towards the stars. 

You sat up, leaning over and grabbing one of Changbin’s arms. Time seemed to slow down as your fingers danced up his arm, pushing his fingers down until only his index finger was up. You guided his hand until he was pointing at the star in question, but you didn’t let go of him.

“There it is.” You didn’t feel the need to raise your voice so you softly spoke into the air around you. “There’s Capella.” 

When you finally let go of his hand you turned to him, a near silent gasp escaping you when you realized just how close you were. Your noses were almost touching and you felt both the warmth from his breath and from his body heat. There was also a familiar warmth that started at your face and spread through your whole body. You were almost tempted to take off your - Changbin’s - scarf but you decided against it, knowing the cold would creep in quickly.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Changbin had lowered his hand and it was resting in his lap. The fog from his breath lingered in the air before floating up towards the stars.

You tried to think of something to tell him other than the overwhelming warmth that undoubtedly came from being under his gaze, or the fact that you were only mere inches away from kissing him. It was something you never really entertained the idea of, dating. Sure, there were cute guys and girls at the school but you knew studying was way more important. 

But spending the past few days with Changbin, laughing and studying and having quite possibly the best time in a while with him, all you thought about was spending whatever time you could with him. Perhaps it was the loneliness or perhaps it was actually Changbin, you weren’t sure but you were more than happy to spend the rest of the break with him. 

“Uh,” You stuttered, moving away from him and looking down at your hands. Your face burned and when you looked back up at Changbin you saw his cheeks were a bright crimson. “Just really happy that I have someone to spend the break with. I can imagine how lonely it must be to be the only person in the castle.”

“Yeah,” Changbin looked down at his hands in his lap. “I love taking care of the plants but the past two years have been kinda lonely.” He shrugged, looking back up at you. By the time his eyes met your his cheeks had slowly lost their red color. “But you’re here now so it’s much better now.”

You nodded, and through the silence you felt the tendrils of sleep clawing at your brain. You fought back a yawn and looked back up at the stars. Ever since first year you had been coming up there at night to watch the stars. There was something so peaceful and serene about sitting in the tower and just sitting underneath the stars.

“Tired?” Changbin smiled softly. When you nodded he stood up, extending his hand to you. “I’ll walk you back to your Common Room.”

You reached forward and let yourself get helped up, smiling back at him. As soon as you were upright he let go of your hand and you fought not to get disappointed at the lack of his hand in yours. 

“My brain is melted from talking about Herbology.” You laughed as you started walking down the steps of the tower. “So many plants and uses and effects.”

“I feel the same about Astronomy and Charms, an infinite amount of stars and hundreds of thousands of spells to memorize. It’s fucking impossible.” Changbin said, his feet making a loud echo through the stone walls. 

“Nothing is impossible.” You countered, focusing your eyes on your feet and trying not to miss a step. “Things get hard but not impossible.” 

You walked in silence, the only sound you heard was the soft footsteps and the whispers of the paintings. 

“You shouldn’t be out at night.” A woman spoke loudly from one of the paintings. The pictures around her seemed to get the message in a chain reaction, they all looked around at each other and repeated the same phrase. 

In your head you knew the paintings couldn’t do anything at that moment to get you in trouble, but you also knew they could relay messages to professors when everyone got back. You looked back at Changbin, eyebrows furrowed in worry.

“Can’t we just have some fun?” Changbin shot back at the paintings, and you watched with amusement as they all were silenced. “You’ll probably forget by the time everyone comes back anyways.” 

You both laughed as the paintings disappeared behind their borders. As your laugher dissipated a low hum came from behind you and you smiled at the sound of whatever song Changbin was humming along to. 

The walk to your Common Room wasn’t too long, so you got there before Changbin could finish the first song. There wasn’t much else to say, but you also found that you didn’t really need words to convey whatever you were feeling.

You nodded towards Changbin, the small hint of a smile being somewhat hidden by the yellow scarf around your neck. Heat creeped up your face when Changbin mirrored your expression, his eyes never leaving yours.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.” It came out as more of a statement than a question but you still nodded to confirm. “Great.” Changbin stood still, not moving. “I’ll, uh, I’ll go now.”

When you nodded again you turned to the door to your Common Room, watching out of the corner of your eye to see Changbin turning around, fingers playing with the sleeves of his robe and head ducked low. You read the riddle on the picture above the door, getting distracted when you heard a voice from the hallway.

It was singing.

It was Changbin. 

You stood there in front of the door and listened to him singing. Although you couldn’t really distinguish any words other than ‘love’ and ‘snow’, you were still in awe at how pretty he sounded. His singing was much different than his speaking voice. Where his voice was deep and rough, his singing was light and airy. Never in a million years would you expect him to sing like that but you loved it.

His voice slowly dissipated as he walked away, and you stayed standing there until the last note could be heard following him towards the Hufflepuff Common Room. You wondered if he would still be singing in his dorm room, and you thought of him pacing his room, a serious look on his face as he continued to sing. 

You were disappointed when you could no longer hear him, so you quickly solved the riddle to get into your Common Room. By the time you had finally settled into your bed, changing from your robe into something far more comfortable, you realized something. If it was possible for you to fall deeper into your feelings for Seo Changbin, you were Alice falling down the rabbit hole.

“Fuck.” You said to yourself, hands going to rub at your eyes in an attempt to scrub all the thoughts from your brain. That, unfortunately, did not work, and you continued to think about Changbin’s beautiful singing and bright smile and everything else about him until you eventually fell asleep. 

vi.

After days of the same routine, going to the Herbology room for the day to learn about the next batch of plants and then to the Astronomy Tower to try and teach Changbin about another cluster of stars, you were quite literally burnt out. 

Yeah, it was endearing to see how passionate Changbin got about the plants, and helping him tend to them really boosted your knowledge, but it got to the point where you felt as though your brain was going to burst from how full it felt. You were also sure Changbin felt the same way because the last night you went to the tower he had fallen asleep, cheek squished on your shoulder and soft breaths escaping into fog around you.

“I’m so done with studying.” Changbin groaned as he hung his head over his plate of food. It was almost empty and you laughed at him almost dipping his nose in his syrupy pancakes.

“We can do something else if you want.” You suggested, finishing up your breakfast and sending your plate away. 

Changbin lifted his head up, mouth tilted and nose scrunched in thought. You waited for a few moments, observing the way his teeth teased his bottom lip and his eyes flickering between the lights hanging above.  

All of a sudden it was like a lightbulb had been lit up above his head, his whole body stiffening up and his eyes quickly snapping to meet yours. “I know what we should do!” You shushed him when his voice came out just tad bit louder than you would have liked, even though there was no one else in the room to be annoyed.

“Please tell me it’s not a surprise.” Not that you would have hated if it was a surprise as that meant you would have gotten to hold his hand again which you definitely weren’t opposed to, but you weren’t too keen on not knowing where you were going. 

“Well it would be pretty hard to hide this surprise so I’ll say no.” He chuckled, finishing his food at a very alarming rate. “Come on, let’s go!” The excitement in his voice only served to make your heart pump faster as well, a big smile curling past the edge of your scarf.

You followed him as he stood up, eyebrows raising as he stuck out his hand again. If this wasn’t a surprise, why did he want to hold your hand? You thought as you looked at him.

And he seemed to read your mind, because a pink hue spread across his face, the hand that wasn’t held out to you coming up to the back of his neck. “Oh, just so I don’t lose you.” Changbin smiled but it was more of a nervous one than the excited smile he had shown only moments before. “You know, the castle is really big. One wrong turn and we’re miles away from each other!”

His logic was sound, and you definitely weren’t opposed to holding his hand again so you made no protest, reaching forward and feeling warmth envelop you as your fingers intertwined again. While you weren’t sure exactly what the warm feeling was, you knew that it felt nice and it spread through your whole body. It wasn’t a hot warmth, but a comforting one, and you wanted to feel it all the time.

But if it only happened when you were near Changbin then, fuck. Perhaps you liked Changbin more than thought, or wanted to think, but you knew that at the end of the break you would go back to being strangers and you didn’t want to face that heartbreak. 

“Where are we going?” You asked, noticing that instead of turning right or left at the Great Hall doors, Changbin started walking forward, toward the front of the castle.

Changbin didn’t answer you until you were skirting the edge of the forest, the cold breeze nipping at your nose and cheeks. “It’s boring in the castle so I figured we could go to Hogsmeade.” When he turned back to you his nose was red, cheeks still pink and eyes sparkling with excitement.

“Is that allowed?” Your hand gripped Changbin’s tightly, the freezing temperatures making you cling to any warmth you could get and obviously it was all coming from him.

“There are no professors here to get us in trouble, and the people at Hogsmeade aren’t going to give a shit about our robes or anything.” Changbin shrugged, and you noticed you weren’t headed in the normal direction of village, but through a small path in the middle of the woods.

“Aren’t you supposed to be a Hufflepuff? You know, always following rules.” Your questions kept coming, and you looked sideways. Changbin’s nose was red, his cheeks almost matching. His scarf nearly covered his mouth, but you could still see the fog from his breath escaping through the fibers. As the snow fell around you, you noticed small snowflakes sticking to Changbin’s eyelashes. 

Before you could catch yourself staring, he turned to you, the snowflakes on his eyelashes slowly melting every time he blinked. “Even a Hufflepuff has to have some fun.” He winked at you, the tip of his lips curling above the scarf in a sly smile. 

The walk to Hogsmeade was much quicker than the normal way, and you wondered how many people knew of the shortcut. By the time Changbin had turned back to look down the path, a large brick wall was coming into view. Paired with the mix of talking, laughing and music growing louder as you approached, you were surprised at how quick you had made it there.

“Wow, that was quick.” You noted, looking up and down the wall and seeing you were right outside the village. There was no door, however, just the dark bricks that were jutting out in a distinct pattern.

Instead of responding, Changbin released your hand and you hoped he didn’t spot the way your bottom lip mimicked the bricks, jutting out slightly. He took out his wand, tapping a seemingly random array of bricks and you watched in awe as a small portion of the wall began swinging open. 

Behind the door you could see a steady stream of people walking up and down the streets and you realized you were right in the middle of Hogsmeade, without having to go through the front gates and deal with security. Changbin motioned for you to follow him, and without any thought behind your decision, you reached out and grabbed his hand. His eyes were cast downward and cheeks significantly redder than previously. 

“So I don’t lose you.” You mumbled out, feeling your face heat up and lip being teased by your teeth. The boy connected to you nodded, his fingers gripping yours tightly, but not tight enough that it got uncomfortable. If anything, you noticed the familiar warmth spread through you but this time it started at your hand in his.

“Come on, let’s go.” Changbin quickly started walking, and you looked behind to see the secret door slowly closing, the lines where it was opened now smooth again. You followed quietly behind, the people walking around you paying no attention to two students coming out of a dark alley together. It was understandable, with the holidays closely approaching, people would surely be more occupied with finding presents than busting students.

“Where do you wanna go first?” Changbin turned around to ask you, turning into a space away from the constant wave of people walking, not wanting to get swept away in the crowd. The constant talking and music around you made it hard for you to hear him, and you leaned closer, a sound of confusion coming from your throat. Changbin leaned forward, and you felt his nose almost touch the shell of your ear. “I said, where do you wanna go first?”

You looked around, taking in the shops around you and deciding to start there and just keep walking. Immediately to your right was the bookshop, Tomes and Scrolls, and you thought about seeing if there were any new astronomy books you could read. 

You turned to Changbin, a small gasp escaping you when you realized just how close you were. The tip of your nose just brushed his before he pulled away slightly, the tips of his ears burning red.

“Uh,” You stuttered, eyes trailing down to his lips and the way his teeth teased the bottom one. “Can we go to Tomes and Scrolls? I want to see if there are any new astronomy books.” When you looked back up at his eyes, you were surprised to see him staring at your lips. 

“Sure.” Changbin looked away, towards the bookstore only a few steps away. He seemed to be thinking to himself before he nodded. “Yea, let’s go.” He tugged your hand, weaving through the current of people, but not without catching a few dirty gazes for occasionally bumping into someone. 

As soon as you entered the building you were hit by the smell of old parchment. It was a very familiar smell, having been there more times than you could count when you would walk through Hogsmeade during weekends. You noticed there weren’t many people in the large shop, and knowing exactly where you needed to go, you started walking there.

Once you reached the row of books you had been looking for, the science section, you turned towards the one still connected by your hands. Changbin was looking around, the old antiques lining windowsills and shelves intriguing him.

“If you want, you can go look at whatever you want.” You let go of his hand, loosening your scarf as you had just walked into a room with heating. “You don’t have to stay by my side if you don’t want to.” 

“I don’t mind.” Changbin countered but made no move to grab for your hand again. “I don’t have any books I want to look for anyway.” He smiled, gesturing towards the shelf of books. “Go ahead, nerd.”

You lightly smacked his arm, sticking your tongue out at him and beginning to walk down the aisle, but not before throwing a, “You’re the nerd here, plant boy.”

Soft footsteps followed behind you, and you began to forget about your surroundings as you immersed yourself in the books. Most of them you had read before, some of them being presents from friends or your parents and others being given to you by Professor Sinistra had gifted you for being the top of the class. 

After you had picked out a few books you were interested in, you turned to Changbin, finding him looking very confused at a book of the history of the planets. You chuckled at him, walking the few steps until you found yourself next to him.

“Having fun?” You asked, laughing when said boy looked up at you with an incredibly clueless face. 

“This all feels like another language.” Changbin snapped the book shut, putting it where he found it and fully facing you. “Are you done?” The sentence would sound impatient if it weren’t for the smile on his face. When you nodded, Changbin motioned for you to go checkout, and you walked in silence with him behind you.

As you put your books down on the counter, you smiled towards George, the store owner. “Hi Mister George!” Everyone always called him by his first name and he always had a bright smile on his face despite the slight shake in his hand and the need for a cane to walk.

“Hello Y/N, it’s been a while! Found some books you haven't read yet?” His smile made him look so much younger. George started ringing up your two books, looking between you and Changbin yet he didn’t say anything.

“Yea, studying for OWLs set me back a little bit but I’m sure I’ll catch up with your supply soon.” You chuckled, trying to think back to the last time you had came by this store and not remembering.

“I’m sure you’ll do amazing, sweetie.” George finished ringing up your books, sliding them back to you. 

After you paid you reached forward to grab the books, only to be cut off by Changbin getting there first. When you turned to him, he simply shrugged saying, “I’ll carry them for you.”

You pouted, crossing your arms over your chest and sighing. “I can do it.”

“I know, I want to carry them for you.” He countered, bringing them closer to his body.

A chuckle came from next to you, and you both looked towards the noise, finding George looking at you two with another large smile. “You two are cute together. Remind me of my wife and I, both stubborn as hell but still in love.”

You wanted to say something but your face was aflame, ears burning and head tilted toward the ground. Instead of responding, you changed the subject, “I’ll see you later, Mister George, happy holidays.” You didn’t look at Changbin as you walked away, only knowing he was following behind you when you heard his footsteps and then eventually felt his hand envelop yours. 

Neither of you said anything about what George said, but with one look at Changbin you were sure your ears probably matched his own, bright red. You would have liked to say something about what happened, apologize for not correcting him, apologizing for not confirming what he said, but to be honest you weren’t too sure of your feelings. 

“Do you mind if we go to Dervish and Banges, the magic store?” Changbin asked, nodding towards the building only a few shops down, his hands preoccupied. “I want to get a few gifts.” 

“Of course, let’s go.” You agreed, quickly making your way down the road and running into the shop.

There were more people than the bookstore, loud chatter echoing through the whole shop and you felt Changbin loosen his grip on your hand. You let go immediately, looking over at him and seeing him searching for something.

“Should we split up?” You knew you could find a few gifts for your friends, and you wanted to give Changbin some privacy. “You’re probably sick of always being stuck with me.”

Changbin chuckled, shaking his head. “Not yet.” He paused for a second. “I’m just kidding, by the way. I don’t mind being with you. I mean, stuck with you.” He corrected himself, adjusting the books that had settled on his hip. “But yea, let’s split up and find our gifts. Then we can head back to the castle.” 

“Sure, sounds good.” You held your hands out. “Let me carry the books,” when Changbin didn’t hand them over you continued, “at least until we are done in here.”

“Okay.” Changbin drew out the last syllable, slowly giving them back to you. “But only until we are headed back to the castle, and then I’ll carry them. Let’s meet back at the front of the store in an hour.”

You nodded, turning on your heels and heading straight for the sweets section. If there was one thing you knew about Luna it was that she loved sweets. Looking through the different assortment of delicious looking things you settled on chocolate frogs, recalling once she had tried to keep one of the frogs in their dorm room and for the next month it smelled like stale milk. For a moment you debated getting her the chocolate frogs, but figured that she had learned her lesson the first time. 

For a while you were strolling up the aisles, looking at different gadgets and things. For Seungmin you had gotten a journal that had a whiteboard on the front, allowing him to doodle anything he wanted on it, it also came with a paper with a spell on it to animate the drawing.

You had also gotten something for Changbin, and you hoped it wouldn't be weird getting a present for someone you had only known for two weeks. It was a small snow globe, but instead of it being full of water or small flecks of artificial snow, it was an ecosystem full of plants. They were all alive, still growing from sprouts in the bottom of the globe. You thought that he could have his own greenhouse in his dorm room for when he couldn’t walk down to the large Herbology room. 

But, Han Jisung was an enigma. He was arguably your best friend at Hogwarts, ever since you walked into the Ravenclaw Common Room and saw a very hyper Jisung playing tag with some of the other students. He had ran into you, helping you up and introducing himself. Now five years later you told him all your secrets and he told you all of his and you wanted to get him something really special for when he came back from break. 

Finally you had settled on the quills, knowing how much he wrote, especially music, on anything he could. Sometimes you would go back to bed with ink marks on your arms from where Jisung just started drawing musical notes. 

There was a huge assortment of quills, and you were quite taken aback by it. Anything from quills that told jokes to quills that wrote in invisible ink that were only visible with a spell, they all were laid out in front of you and you were extremely indecisive.

That was, until you saw it. It was a medium sized quill with a very dark feather. At first glance it looked like any normal, non magic quill, but once you picked it up you read the tag.

“Turn any song into actual music with the flick of your wrist! Just draw a music note and listen as the quill plays it for you!” 

You smiled, clutching onto it as if it was the last one. It was perfect, you thought as you made your way up to the front, handing over the things you got to the cashier. Everything you had gotten seemed to perfectly encapsulate the ones you got them for, and you were excited to be able to hand them over and see their reactions. 

However there was still a nagging feeling at the back of your mind that Changbin would find it weird that you got him a present. Maybe I shouldn’t give it to him. You thought as you retrieved the bag of items from the cashier, walking toward the front with the bag in one hand and your books in the other. 

At the front of the store you already spotted Changbin, a small bag in his hand and the other shoved into the pocket of his robe. When he spotted you he smiled before reaching out. Rolling your eyes, you handed over your books, watching as he maneuvered them to one arm, that same hand holding onto his bag.

“Ready to go?” Changbin asked, his scarf already tucked into his robe and nearly covering his mouth. 

You nodded, doing the same to your scarf (which was still Changbin’s, but at this point you really didn’t want to give it back). “Yep! I can’t wait to get back for dinner and then sleep.” If you knew anything, it was that you had no expectations of going back to the castle and studying. One day breaks can be beneficial. Besides, you already felt as if there was nothing else new to learn, and you still had a month to review. 

“I never thought I would hear a Ravenclaw complain about studying.” A soft chuckle escaped into the air as Changbin once again grabbed your hand with his free one. It went without saying anything and you accepted his fingers gripping onto yours as you walked side by side. 

“Just because we like learning doesn’t mean we like studying.” You weren’t wrong, what with the amount of groans and complaints you heard in the Common Room when studying for OWLs started you were sure that if anything, most Ravenclaws despised studying.

There was a comfortable silence that washed over you as you walked, your connected hands swinging slightly as you made your way to the secret door back to the castle. Changbin mumbled something under his breath, his hand disconnecting briefly from ours, wand tapping seemingly the same pattern as when you had entered, and you set off on the short walk back to the castle, his hand subconsciously finding his way back to yours.

“Penny for your thoughts?” He asked from beside you, eyes still focused on the white covered path. It was like a winter wonderland, but you also knew the monsters that could be hiding in any nook or behind any tree so you wanted to get back as quick as possible.

“Why do you always ask that?” It was definitely what was on your mind, and you had hoped you didn’t come across as rude. “I didn’t mean it like that, I am just curious.”

“No, it’s okay.” Changbin started swinging your hands, the cold breeze it created making you shiver slightly. “I guess it’s just an easy way to start a conversation, and it lets others talk about what they want to talk about instead of just talking about something random.”

“I never thought about it that way.” You continued walking, your hand stopped swinging in favor of Changbin’s thumb softly rubbing the top of your hand. You assumed it was on accident, a subconscious thing that he does, but he had never done it before. Not that you minded in the slightest, which was why you didn’t say anything, letting him continue on, a shy smile slipping onto your face. 

As soon as you made it to the castle you both raced into the Great Hall, the smell of dinner wafting through the walls and making your stomach growl. There was only a week and a half until break was over and five days until Christmas, so each meal leading up to the holiday seemed even more delicious than the last.

You ate quickly, the hunger in your stomach almost unbearable now that you sat down and relaxed. Besides the loud noises of you eating, there was silence, not even the fairy at the top of the tree singing. Once you were done you pushed your plate away, watching Changbin do the same. 

“I’m officially done with today.” You leaned back in your chain, your scarf hanging behind the back. “I mean, I had a great time but I’m so tired.” Sleep crawled at your eyelids and you fought not to succumb to it, especially not sitting up in a chair where there was a high possibility your body hits the floor.

“We should head to bed, we exerted a lot of energy.” Changbin mumbled, his eyes also almost closing, his bottom lip poked out in a pout and you had to convince yourself to not kiss him in your sleepy haze.

You made a noise of agreement, too tired to even form words. Your plates still sat there and with a groan you sent them away. Each second you were awake was another second that you felt sleep pulling you under.

“Come on, we should get to bed before we both fall asleep at the table.” Changbin stood up and you saw he was much more coherent than you were. Albeit, he was still swaying on his feet, eyes drooping every couple of seconds. 

Standing up, you shook your head, forcing yourself to wake up just enough to get to your bed. You grabbed your bag and books and fixed the scarf back onto your neck. With a tired smile you reached towards Changbin’s hand, interlocking fingers like you had been doing over and over the past two weeks.

Your feet dragged as you walked and at some point Changbin let go of your hand in favor of wrapping a hand around your waist. Although you were somewhere between sleep and awake, you registered his soft breath on your ear and his voice saying, “You didn’t sleep much last night, did you?”

Thinking back to it, you really hadn’t. You decided to get in some study time by yourself, talking out loud into the room and trying not to think about Changbin’s handsome face. By the time you had deemed yourself done with studying for the night, it was well past midnight, so with some quick, sleepy calculating you held up four fingers to signal how many hours you figured you got. 

Changbin nodded, keeping silent as the walk to your Common Room felt like hours but was only a few minutes. You were coherent enough to eventually pick your feet up fully, but you leaned to the side, resting your head on Changbin’s shoulder. If he didn’t like it, you could just blame it on the fatigue when you saw him in the morning. He didn’t seem to mind though, just walking along as his fingers pressed even more on your waist to keep you upright.

The riddle at the doorknob blinked, indicating you hadn’t solved it yet. Changbin looked over at you and you shook your head, rubbing off sleep just enough to be able to solve the riddle with ease. (They tended to reuse riddles a lot and within the five years of you being there you had seen a few many times before.)

“Get some sleep, Y/N.” Changbin whispered in your ear, thumb softly stroking your waist and you felt a shiver race through you. Whether that was because of the cold or because of Changbin’s extremely close proximity, you weren’t sure. Although sleep was relentlessly trying to pull you under, you were coherent enough to register just how much you liked him saying your name. 

You nodded, not wanting to take your head off his shoulder and definitely not wanting to leave his very warm presence. “Okay.” You finally mumbled after a few seconds. “You too, get some sleep Changbin.”

“I will. I promise.” Changbin laughed, and guided you towards the door. 

As you stepped through the threshold the door closed behind you, and you stumbled towards your bedroom, a smile on your face when you remembered everything that happened. The bag of your gifts hung from your hand and you set it on Luna’s bed, it’s not like she was using it at that moment anyways. 

When you collapsed in bed, pulling the blanket up to your chin and eyes closing almost instantly, you thought back to how secure you felt with Changbin’s arm around you and how warm you felt when he was around. Sure, you had had crushes before, and that atrocious date at the Yule Ball thanks to Jisung, but what you felt was something unknown and as a Ravenclaw you definitely did not appreciate not knowing what you were feeling.

“Damn you, Seo Changbin.” Your voice trailed off, sleep finally taking over.

vii.

The next four days were filled with relentless studying. You would stay in the library way past curfew with Changbin, scouring the aisles for any types of books that could help you that you hadn’t yet read. At one point you even fell asleep sitting in one of the rows of books, one minute you were searching for a book of potions and the next you were being shaken awake by Changbin.

But the morning of Christmas you woke up early, finding Changbin’s present still sitting on Luna’s bed. You decided to give it to him when you both went to tend to the plants, finding it perfect that his present fit the scenario.

You put his present in a small box, trying slowly to wrap it and make it look somewhat presentable. Unfortunately there wasn’t a spell for it to wrap itself, so you begrudgingly fought with your own fingers in an attempt to cover every inch of the box.

You weren’t sure exactly how long it took you to finally be satisfied with the present, but you did know that the sun was shining in your window, as opposed to the dark pre-sunrise glow from when you started. 

“It’s not that bad.” You said to yourself, holding out the present, observing every angle and deciding that although it did look pieced together, because it was pieced together with a lot of patches of wrapping paper, that it looked good enough to give to Changbin.

Walking down to the Great Hall, the paintings around you sang Christmas carols and you laughed when you realized that none of them matched each other, the lyrics and notes mixing together into a very noisy and unpleasant sound. 

“Can you guys at least sing the same song?” You told them as you walked past, chuckling when that only caused them to have an argument over which Christmas song was superior.

When you finally made it to the Great Hall you were stopped in your tracks, the giant Christmas tree in the middle of the room was lit up even more than it was before. Vibrant blues, greens and purples sparkled on every inch of the tree, and when you looked closer you noticed that the lights were actually moving.

“Merry Christmas!” One of the lights screamed, the high pitched voice causing you to cringe. The lights were actually fairies, flying from branch to branch. Their wings emulated multiple colors, changing every couple of seconds. 

Your eyes then travelled to another sparkling object, but as you approached your regular table you laughed, sitting down across from a very glittery Changbin.

“What happened?” You asked, leaning forward and picking a piece of tinsel out of his hair. His regularly black hair with red streaks instead looked silver under the light, an immense amount of glitter and tinsel stuck in it.

“I tried to ask the fairies to wrap my presents and they bombarded me with this.” Changbin gestured to his hair, shaking his head and laughing when glitter spewed in every direction. “At least they agreed to wrap them. I’m not that coordinated to do it myself.”

“I never thought of that. I would let them drown me in glitter if I didn’t have to wrap mine myself.” You thought back to your horrifically wrapped presents, but decided your friends would rather it be pieced together by you than perfectly wrapped by someone else.

Before you could say anything else two full plates of food flew and quite literally landed on the table. There was almost every type of breakfast you could think of sitting right in front of you and you looked up at Changbin, eyes wider than the plates. Changbin, however, was just smiling excitedly, his eyes scrunched up and cheeks shining with the remnants of glitter that had floated from his hair.

“Holy shit.” You whispered, eyes still trying to take in all the food in front of you.

“Yeah. They always serve this on Christmas. I swear I gain 5 pounds each year because I can’t stop eating.” Changbin laughed, licking his lips in anticipation. He looked like he would dive in immediately but instead he looked up at you, a lopsided grin on his face. “By the way, Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas, Changbin.” You smiled back before staring down at your plate and debating where to start. 

A long groan escaped your lips when you finished eating, the last of the food having been cleared from the plate. It was quite possibly the tastiest meal you had ever had, and you considered staying there for break every year just so you could eat it on Christmas Day. Looking over at Changbin you saw the same expression you harbored, a very exhausted and overwhelmed smile on both of your faces. 

“Oh. My. God.” You shook your head, “I don’t think I can eat anything else ever again.” 

“We still have dinner tonight.” Changbin reminded you, chuckling when you groaned even louder. 

You sat in silence while you waited for the immensely full feeling to pass enough for you to be able to get up. The plates still sat on the table in front of you and neither of you had the energy to send it away this time. 

Before you could gather the energy to lift your wand, a flash of glitter appearing in front of you. “Merry Christmas!” The fairy squeaked. “I’ll take care of your plates. In the meantime,” another flash and she looked above the table. When you looked up your eyes widened, seeing a small mistletoe floating above you. “Why don’t the lovely couple share a Christmas kiss?”

“Oh.” You stuttered, “we aren’t dating, actually.” Daring not to look at Changbin, you locked eyes with the fairy, watching her face drop into a very dissatisfied frown.

“Too bad, you guys look cute together.” She pouted, glitter cascading slowly down her wings as she looked at Changbin and back at you. Her eyebrows raised, like she knew something and your face heated up. “Okay, I get it.” She winked at you, “Have a fun rest of your Christmas.” 

As soon as she had appeared she was gone, the plates and mistletoe following after her. You tried to stall looking back at Changbin, in fear of your face giving your new feelings away, but you figured prolonging anything would only make you look more suspicious.

Changbin’s cheeks were red, eyes downcasted and foot tapping softly on the floor. It wasn’t enough to cause an echo, but enough that the sound travelled the short distance between you. He looked adorable, and if you had enough confidence you would have leant over the table and kissed him right there. But unfortunately you didn’t, so you settled with clearing your throat, that sound echoing through the room.

“So, don’t you need to go tend to the plants?” You had the time table memorized at that point, knowing that after breakfast you would walk with him to the Herbology room, doing the same routine over and over. It would normally have gotten boring, but just being with Changbin made everything interesting. 

“Yeah.” Changbin looked up at you for the first time since the fairy came and took your plates. His hair was splayed across his forehead, nearly covering his eyes, and you almost commented on the fact that he should get a haircut soon but you also noticed just how good his longer hair looked.

“Okay, let’s go.” You tried brushing off the heat sizzling up in you, and the cold air from the cracks in the doors did well at cooling off your burning face. When you stood up you extended your hand, waiting just an extra beat longer than normal for Changbin to slip his hand in yours. 

Rather than awkward, the walk towards the Herbology was filled with tension. Changbin’s hand was sweaty, and neither of you chose to acknowledge it as you weaved through the moving stairs and winding hallways. It wasn’t a long walk to the Herbology room, but when you finally reached the door you disconnected your hands, watching as he unlocked the room. 

His shoulders were slumped as he made his way to the water sprayer, filling it up and then checking each plant carefully. You observed him, his present weighing heavily in your pocket. What if he thought it was weird? There were doubts in the back of your head, but you had already gotten it and seeing the way Changbin looked at each plant, like they were his children, with such care and love, you knew he would like it no matter if thought it was weird.

“Hey Changbin?” You called out to him, the present being held by your two hands behind your back. 

“Yeah?” He said, turning around after setting down a potted plant. His eyes moved to your arms behind your back, eyebrows raised in confusion and a small hint of alarm. “What’s behind your back?”

Instead of answering his question, you giggled, fingers drumming on the small box holding his present. As soon as you were standing directly in front of him, you took the box out from behind your back. Under the lights you got a better look, your lips quirking up into an apologetic smile.

“I tried to wrap it myself but it didn’t go as well as I planned, I definitely fucked it up just a little bit.” Despite it looking as pieced together as a jigsaw puzzle, you were quite proud of yourself for covering each inch of the box. You watched as Changbin took the box out of your hand gently, looking at each and every angle.

“It doesn’t look that bad. It means a lot more that you did it yourself.” Changbin smiled, fingers playing along the edges of the wrapping paper taped on nearly every side. A breathy laugh escaped him as he tried to pull the wrapping paper. “I think you did too good, I can’t get the damn thing off.” 

After a few seconds of struggling with the paper he ripped the top off enough to find the box underneath. A surprised look crossed his face as he slowly removed the top. There was a moment of observing what was inside before he took it out, holding it up to the light. His mouth was slightly hanging open, eyes wide and scouring every little plant that greeted him from inside for snowglobe.

“It’s a snowglobe, except it doesn’t have snow, it has plants.” You explained, pointing to the small sprouts in the soil of the snowglobe. “I figured you could have something to look at when you can’t come here.”

Before you could say anything else, a weight was pressed against you, hands immediately coming around you and resting on your back. Changbin was hugging you, and you quickly relaxed into his arms. He was much warmer than you expected, like a portable heater. The hand that wasn’t holding his present pressed flat on your back, slowly rubbing in circles.

“Thank you.” Changbin repeated over and over. His face was squished into your neck and you felt his breath on your collarbone, a shiver running through you even though you were far from cold. Your own arms wrapped around him, palms holding onto his shoulders and you could feel his muscles moving underneath your hand when you ran it up his spine. 

You didn’t want to let go, but Changbin pulled away first, holding up his plant globe once again to the light. His eyes shone as he scanned each little plant that had shown itself in the couple of days it had been in your room. It was like he didn’t believe it, and you smiled at how happy he looked. 

“So you like it?” Your voice was hopeful, and Changbin’s eyes immediately snapped to yours.

“Of course! I love it.” His smile was everything you could have ever hoped, all the previous worry and nervousness melting off of you. “Why wouldn’t I like it?”

“Well,” when you thought back to your worries, you realized that this was Changbin you were talking about, the sweetest Hufflepuff you had ever seen, even if he liked to break rules sometimes. Hell, he was softer than Seungmin. “I was scared you would think I was weird or something. I mean, we’ve only known each other for two weeks.” Your face heated up voicing your worries to him, but you knew he wouldn't make fun of you for it.

“You’re not weird at all. We’re friends, right?” You nodded, fighting the frown at the word friends. “Then you shouldn’t feel weird. I love it! I’ve been wanting to get a plant for my room but it’s not allowed, this is the perfect substitute.” Changbin’s smile widened again, eyes going back to scanning each and every inch of the plant globe. 

“Good, I’m glad you like it.” The light from outside was slowly dimming, midday already passed and evening creeping up behind it. A bright ray of sun shone directly through the clouds, aiming directly for Changbin’s plant globe. It seemed to feed all the plants in it, and you almost gasped when you saw some of them start to grow taller right before your eyes.

The next hour was spent helping Changbin check on the plants, and within the past week and a half you had learned almost everything you could about all of the ones in the room. How to care for them, how to clean them (at least, the ones you could touch without getting harmed or killed), how to tell if they were in need of more soil or water and how to handle them without setting them off, specifically the mandrakes. 

As soon as you were done checking on them all, you looked towards Changbin, who was still admiring his plant globe every minute. The last remaining light from outside illuminated his features, and you were in awe at just how handsome he looked. 

“Can we go to the Astronomy Tower?” Suddenly Changbin looked at you, asking the question with a nervous hint to his voice. When you nodded, he smiled, and he slowly set his globe in the box you had put it in originally.

Leading him to the tower, you walked in silence, the paintings around you finally on the same page as they all sang the same Christmas song, albeit in varying volumes and pitches. At least it was the same lyrics, you thought as you walked beside Changbin.

Your feet quickly struck the floor, a sense of excitement washing over you because you knew certain stars would be better visible tonight and you couldn’t want to tell Changbin about them. Whenever you would talk about the stars to him, you found his eyes always following your finger as you pointed in the sky. Sometimes he would get it and sometimes he wouldn’t, but just seeing the stars reflected back into his eyes made your feelings for him just dig itself a little bit deeper.

After the tantalus walk up the stairs, you settled for a different spot than before to look at the stars, picking one just a little bit closer to the stairs. Sitting down, you let go of Changbin’s hand, opting instead to start pointing up at all the stars you recognized that you hadn’t yet talked about with him. 

However before you could go very far into your explanation about Pleiades and it’s mythology, you noticed Changbin looking over to the side. “Are you okay?” You asked, your hand moving to rest on his shoulder.

Instead of answering you, Changbin turned back around, his hands clasped around something and before you could ask him anything he interrupted. “Close your eyes.” When your face morphed into one of slight fear and worry, he elaborated. “Just trust me, I have a surprise for you.”

You had trusted him that whole time, so you listened, closing your eyes and relying on your other senses to try and tell what was going on around you. To your right, where Changbin was, you heard a slight rustling and then the sound of fabric on wood. You felt a familiar warmth envelop you and then the feeling of two hands in front of your face.

Trusting him, you didn’t freak out, letting it all happen and suddenly you felt something very cold hit your chest right between your collarbones. Curiosity filled your senses but you waited for Changbin to give you a noise of confirmation to open your eyes. When a small “okay” came from your right you squinted at him, nose scrunched and you were nervous to look down. 

You couldn’t see much of it, but what you did was beautiful. It was a small charm, almost like Saturn itself. There was one dark orb in the middle surrounded by two rings and the one on the inside spun slightly when you moved. It was breathtaking, and you felt your jaw quite literally drop, eyes widening and face burning. 

“Wow.” Was all you could say as you watched Changbin grow more and more visibly nervous. “I love it.” You said, slipping your hand underneath it and admiring the way the night sky seemed to make it shine even brighter.

“That’s not all it does.” Changbin’s hand ruffled his hair, eyes still not leaving the necklace resting almost perfectly directly underneath your collarbones. “Stand up.” His hand was extended towards you and you took it, letting him pull you up before taking out his wand.

One of his hands stayed clasped in yours, the other holding his wand and you stayed staring into his eyes before he was the first one to break it. The tip of his wand tapped your necklace, “astra lumora” he whispered softly and you gasped when immediately you were surrounded by stars. 

Above, below, all around you were bright sparks of stars, and you found yourself looking everywhere you could to find you were quite literally standing among the stars. It was almost as if you were floating in space with nothing around you but the gas balls. 

“This,” your eyes continued to wander before finally settling on Changbin’s bright ones. “Is beautiful. I love it so much.” You couldn’t tear your eyes away from Changbin’s. Despite being in what felt like a dream, sitting among the stars, you were grounded by his eyes on yours. 

“Penny for your thoughts?” A smile flickered on Changbin’s face, and your gaze swapped from his eyes to his lips. There wasn’t really anything else you were thinking about except kissing him, and you decided, fuck it, what better time to confess your rapidly escalating feelings for the Hufflepuff in front of you than while you were surrounded by stars?

“I’m thinking about how much I really want to kiss you.” You were so close that you only needed to whisper it, watching your cold breath escaping as a small cloud in the air. It was going to be heartbreaking if he didn’t feel the same, but it was okay, because at the end of the break you would go back to being just a Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff, not interacting or talking. 

“Ask me the same thing.” Changbin’s thumb rubbed your hand softly, eyes locked on your lips.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Your voice was barely audible, the hand that wasn’t clasped in his moving up his arm to eventually rest on the back of his neck. The hairs there were sticking up and whether that was because of the cold or your proximity, you weren’t sure.

Changbin took another step closer to you, your nose brushing his. His wand was gone, tucked away into his robe as his hand wrapped around you, resting on the small of your back. “I’ve been thinking the same thing for a while.”

Instead of saying anything else, you lean forward, eyes closing. The feeling of Changbin’s lips on yours could only be described as soft. He wasn’t too hard, perhaps afraid you would break into a thousand specs, blending in with the stars surrounding you. While you did feel like you could do that, Changbin’s hand on your back and the prickly feeling of the hair on the back of his neck grounded you into reality.

Yeah, you were kissing Seo Changbin, the same guy that you didn’t want to associate with at all after learning he would also be staying behind for break. The same guy that got too excited talking about plants and had always kept his hand clasped in yours. The same guy that gave you his scarf when you forgot yours and never once asked for it back.

You definitely had no intention of giving it back now. 

Changbin tilted his head, his hand leaving yours and joining his other one on your back. Your free hand also coming up to settle on his neck, thumb tracing a vein that told you his heartbeat was pounding.

It was effortless, kissing Changbin, and you found yourself thinking that it could definitely become a habit. He was like a drug, pulling you into a sense of euphoria and relaxation that had your knees buckling. All of your senses molded into one and you weren’t sure where you started and Changbin ended, or whether you two had just slowly combined to create one bright star to join the infinite others out there.

All you knew was that Seo Changbin was there, he was kissing you, and you could spend the rest of your life stuck in his embrace and you would be the happiest person in the universe.

When you finally pulled back from the kiss, you were met with Changbin’s sparkling eyes, smile stretching from ear to ear. His cheeks were slowly gaining color, his eyes never leaving yours and you were entranced. Leaning forward you left another soft peck on his lips, a small giggle directed at the ground when you rested your forehead on his shoulder. 

“Wow.” You said for the second time.

“I know.” Changbin’s thumbs pressed a little harder into your back, palms smoothing out over your muscles and pulling you closer to him if that was even possible at that point. “So,” He started, hands now moved to your waist and the warmth you had always felt when you were around him surrounded and filled every inch of you. “Where do we go from here?”

Where do you go from there? Surely you wanted to be with him, even if you had sworn off dating in favor of studying. You could have both, right? You would force yourself to have both if it meant having Changbin with you.

“Well,” Your hands moved to Changbin’s hair, softly pulling and stroking any inch of skin you could reach. “I like you, a lot.”

“Duh.” Changbin countered, laughing when you smacked his shoulder lightly. “Okay, okay. I like you a lot too.” Although his laugh had dissipated, the gentle smile still remained.

“Do you think we could make this, like, official?” Your voice stuttered a bit, and you weren’t sure how to ask, you had only been asked out once and that was to the Yule Ball.

“You want me to be your boyfriend?” A smirk played on Changbin’s face, his shoulder ready to take another hit but you just nodded, the yellow fabric of his scarf brushing against your hand as you played with a loose string.

“As long as you want to be my boyfriend.”

“Of course I do.” Instead of saying anything else, Changbin sealed his statement with a kiss, his lips cold after being separated from yours for so long. 

After you pulled away a long yawn ripped through you, the darkness of the night pulling at your eyelids and wanting you to join so many other people in dream land. It all felt like a dream, though, and you were convinced that when you laid down to go to sleep that you would just wake up. 

“We should get some sleep.” Changbin said, pulling out his wand and tapping your necklace twice, watching as the stars all got sucked back into the dark orb. “There’s only a week left until break ends.”

You let a pout fall onto your face, not wanting to go back to classes and the bombardment of students. You just wanted to spend all the time you could with Changbin before you were forced to sit at different tables and only see each other at certain times. 

“Okay. I guess we should.” You agreed, however, knowing that although you were the Ravenclaw, Changbin sounded much more logical at that moment.

Your head stayed on Changbin’s shoulder as you walked back to your Common Room, your hand still grasped tightly in his. Occasionally you leaned just a little bit closer, pecking the corner of his mouth or his cheek or his neck, whatever you could reach. When you did that, Changbin would turn his head towards you, letting you land a kiss on where you wanted to land one the most, his lips.

“Oh look at them!” One of the pictures whispered as you walked by, and you watched as they all followed your movements, soft whispers being exchanged. You ignored them, just wanting to stay with your hand in Changbin’s and his warmth surrounding you.

As soon as you arrived at your Common Room you pulled apart, though Changbin’s hands just wandered to your waist as you solved the riddle, listening to the click of the lock opening for you. When you turned around Changbin’s lips were on yours, a soft hum coming from his throat. You were content with just staying like that, but paintings eventually gossiped, and you definitely didn’t want the professors finding out what you were up to during break.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah?” The hands on your waist were distracting, but you kept thinking that the faster you went to sleep the quicker you could see him in the morning again.

“Yeah, tomorrow.” Changbin confirmed, not making any move to leave. His hands stayed in place, fingers tapping lightly. “Hey, Y/N?” After a few moments of silence he called your name, stepping a little bit closer to you and the warmth started to intensify. When you made a noise in response, you saw his eyes flick to your lips. “Can I kiss you again?”

“Of course, Binnie. You don’t have to ask.” Chucking you walked up in front of him, waiting for him to lean in and give you what you knew you both wanted, but he didn’t. You opened your eyes, shooting him a confused look, eyebrows raised when you saw his mouth gaped open. “Are you okay?”

His cheeks lit up almost red and you found it cute that he was still shy. “You, uh, you called me Binnie.” A small smile appeared on his face, nose scrunched up slightly and before you could ask any other questions, like if it was okay that you called him that, he continued. “I mean, I like it, that nickname. It’s cute.” He elaborated, quickly leaning forward and landing a kiss on your awaiting lips. It was quick, quicker than you had wanted it to be but it was already dark and you knew how bad you got when you didn’t get enough sleep, so you relented.

“Well, you’re cute.” You laughed when Changbin rolled his eyes, turning around and proceeding to start to walk away.

He didn’t get far though before he turned back to you, “Good night, baby.”

Then it was your turn for your face to heat up, a soft, “good night” following him as he walked away. You waited until he was fully gone to shut the door, a small squeal leaving you. Jumping up and down you ran to your room, launching yourself onto the bed and burying yourself beneath the covers.

“Oh my god that actually happened.” You whispered to yourself after getting comfortable in bed. The comforter was enough to keep you warm from the winter outside, but you noticed nothing could compare to the warmth that covered you from head to toe when you were near Changbin.

As sleep took over, a smile fell on your face when you thought about Changbin and his messy hair and soft lips and dorky demeanor and how you couldn’t believe that he actually felt the same.

viii.

The next few days were filled with what you normally did: studying. Unlike the other times, however, you were much more cuddly with Changbin. Laying on one of the couches in the library, you would curl into a ball on his lap, the book open as you lazily read aloud. Changbin’s hand never left your back, fingers massaging your muscles, the occasional kiss being pressed to your forehead or cheek.

It was the last day of break. Tomorrow everyone would file in, the noise overwhelmingly different to the silence as you walked through the halls. It was bittersweet, you wanted your friends to come back and classes to start again, but after having been by Changbin’s side for almost the whole break, you didn’t want to go back.

You met Changbin in the Great Hall, smiling when you saw your chair moved again to be right next to his. The Christmas tree was still up, though you knew it would start to get taken down later that day. The fairies looked down at you two with a glint in their eyes. 

“Good morning, Binnie.” Sliding into the chair, you looked over at Changbin. His hair was still messy from sleep, cheeks just the slightest bit pink from where it had been pressed into the pillow. He gave you a sleepy grin, puckering his lips and waiting for you to catch on. You leaned forward, pressing a quick kiss to his lips. A loud squeal came from the tree, the fairies whispering in an annoyingly shrill almost silent voice.

“Morning, baby.” Changbin responded, fingers playing with the edge of your scarf, noticing that it was still the yellow one that he had given you the first day you met. “Have I told you how much I like seeing you wear this?”

“No, but at least I know now.” Although the scarf covered the chain of your necklace, you could still see the glint of the dark orb resting right underneath the yellow fabric. You could still smell his distinct odor of cinnamon and pine needles, a scent that you had come to associate with the warmth that spread through you, but it was fading. “You’re going to have to take it back soon.” You said as your plate of breakfast waited in front of you.

Changbin was already eating, his cheeks full of pancakes and he turned to you, mouth almost dropped open and food almost spilling out. He took a moment to chew and swallow before frowning. “Why?”

“It’s starting to not smell like you anymore.” You said nonchalantly, picking apart your pancake and beginning to eat. A soft chuckle came from next to you, and before you could turn your head to question why he laughed, his lips connected with your cheek.

“You’re cute, baby.” Was all he said, going back to eating and you eventually followed, a smile and shake of your head preceding it.

After you had finished eating, you found yourself in the same place as the previous few days, strolling back into the library, one of your hands gripped tightly in Changbin’s and the other holding onto a History book that you found stuffed in one of your drawers. How it got there, you would never know, but you knew when you were done skimming it and eventually snapping it shut when you got tired of the boring history terms that it would go right back to where you found it. 

You set the book on the table, letting go of Changbin’s hand and walking down the aisles in search of another book, one that had been recommended by the Divination teacher to help with her class. Having been in the library almost every day for the last three weeks, you knew where more things were, but this one you couldn’t get your hands on. Surely it was there, your teacher wouldn’t recommend it if she knew it wasn’t.

Your search was interrupted by a pair of arms wrapping around you, warm breath making you shiver. “Hey.” Changbin said simply, pulling you back into him. “It’s cold without you.” You could feel the pout through his voice, and you turned around in his embrace.

“I was just looking for this Divination book, but I can’t find it. I think it disappeared.” You looked up the aisle, trying to remember where it could be but coming up blank.

“The OWL for Divination is easy, all you have to do is look in the bottom of a cup and tell her what you see.” Changbin explained, and he wasn’t wrong, your teacher did say there was no wrong answers, so surely everyone would pass, but you couldn’t help to feel like somehow you would see something wrong or that by some sort of cruel stroke of misfortune she would fail you. 

“Besides, you’re too smart to worry about failing, you’ll probably get the top score in everything.” Changbin closed the small distance between you, his lips connecting with your forehead. In turn, you closed your eyes, smiling at the feeling of his thumbs pressing small circles into your back and cool breath fanning over your face. “If anything,” he started as he pulled away, “I need you to tutor me.” 

“I guess I can do that.” You wriggled out of Changbin’s grasp, walking back to the couch and grabbing the book you had set there earlier. Changbin closely followed, sitting on the couch and holding out his arms for you to fit into. 

You sat with your back resting on the arm of the couch, Changbin’s legs comfortably underneath you and his arms snaked around you. The book sat on your legs, one of his hands coming to play with the pages when he saw fit. Instead of exchanging any other words, you started reading a chapter, trying not to let your face heat up when you looked up to see Changbin’s eyes trained on you. 

It wasn’t like he had much else to look at, it was just snow and trees outside and the endless rows of books inside, but it was more of the look he had rather than the fact that he was looking at you. A soft grin stretched his lips, tilting up at one side. His eyes shifted from your eyes to your necklace - that you had yet to take off - and eventually settling on your lips. 

“Penny for your thoughts?” You asked quietly, watching as his cheeks began to gain a bit more color to them. 

“You’re just really pretty.” He shrugged, eyes falling down to the book in your lap. Instead of trying to read sideways, he resorted to tracing the lines of the map at the top of the page.

“I think you’re pretty too, Binnie.” Your lips found his nose, chuckling when his face turned into a deeper red. “But we really should try and get some studying in, there’s only one more day left of break.”

His face morphed into a deep frown, eyebrows tugging into the center of his face. You knew what he was thinking, and you mirrored the same sentiment. After everyone came back you would be forced to sit at your house tables, looking at each other across the Great Hall and wishing you were able to slide in the seat next to him. Reading his mind, you raised your hand up to his cheek, your thumb tracing his cheekbone. His skin was still warm underneath your fingers.

“I don’t want break to end.” Changbin’s frown turned into a pout, head tilting forward to rest on your shoulder.

“I don’t either but it’s not like we won’t ever see each other again.” Your hand moved from his cheek to his hair, smoothing down strands that had stuck up into the air. 

“I know.” He sat back up, the pout still deeply etched onto his face. “I’m gonna miss just us being here, though. We’ve only had a week alone to be cute and coupley.” You laughed at that, and his pout only stuck out more. “It’s not funny.” He dragged out the last syllable.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. You’re just cute.” You countered, looking back down at the book in your lap. “We’ll still be able to be ‘cute’ and ‘coupley’, don’t worry. I think we should get back to studying though, how about we have a quiz?” You suggested, flicking through the book until you got to a section you had read to him before. 

So you read a section out loud again, watching out of the corner of your eye as Changbin looked up at the air, mouthing what you could only assume was dates and names to try and remember them. As soon as you finished the passage you turned your attention to Changbin, finding him still peering into the ceiling.

“What happened to the classes at Hogwarts in 1965?” You asked, knowing that you just went through it.

Changbin thought for a moment, his fingers drumming on your waist in an attempt to come up with an answer. “Oh!” His eyes lit up, a smile on his face as he turned to you. “The roof fell through from the heavy snowfall and so classes were canceled for a while to fix it.” 

You nodded, leaning forward and pressing a quick kiss to his lips, his reward for getting the question right. You continued on with your questioning, rewarding him with a kiss every time he got one right. 

Eventually he began to drift off, his head bobbing up and down as he tried to think of an answer but instead was met with a soft tap to the forehead and you telling him to “wake up”. It wasn’t until the fourth time of falling asleep and being woken up by you that he gave up.

“Fuck it.” He said, tapping your back in a signal for you to get off his lap for just a moment. Changbin turned so his head was resting against the arm of the couch, grabbing a pillow and pulling it so it cushioned his head. Falling back, he nestled into the couch with a sigh. Before his eyes closed fully, however, his arms raised, hands making a grabby motion and you knew you weren’t going to convince him to study anymore so you relented.

Setting the book on the table, you walked forward and squeaked when Changbin’s hands immediately grabbed your waist, pulling you down quickly. A grunt was released when your head hit his chest, the sound of his heartbeat the only thing you could hear besides your breath. He was comfortable, just the right amount of hard muscle and plush skin and you melted into his embrace. 

“Let’s just take a nap.” Changbin suggested from above you, his chin resting on the top of your head, although it was more of a statement than a suggestion. His voice vibrated through his body and you could feel instead of hear his voice.

You didn’t reply, instead opting for snuggling closer into him, the edges of your robe draping over you and creating a makeshift blanket. Though you didn’t need much else to warm you, as Changbin’s body heat was enough to make you feel warmth from your head to feet. His hands settled on your back, thumbs massaging your tense muscles gently. The pressure seemed to let off eventually, and you looked up to see he was fast asleep, mouth slightly open and eyes closed. You weren’t sure how long you had laid there, but it wasn’t long until you were following Changbin into dreamland.

“Baby.” You were awoken by Changbin’s voice in your ear, his hands going back to their normal place of tracing shapes on your back. His heartbeat beneath your ear was soniferous, causing your eyes to stay closed and for you to almost fall back into slumber. That was, until he said your name a little louder, his hands shaking your body that was lying fully on top of his. “Y/N, it’s time to get up, baby.”

“Don’t wanna.” Your voice was distorted due to your cheek being pressed into the junction between his neck and shoulder. During your sleep you nuzzled even closer to Changbin, your nose pressed against his neck and lips close to his collarbone. You pressed a quick kiss there, a lazy smile floating up when the boy below you squirmed. “You’re comfy.” Going back to your previous position, you tried to ignore all other tries to get you to wake up, only wanting to be cuddled closer and to fall back asleep.

“It’s nighttime and although there isn’t anybody here, I’m sure some of the ghosts will do patrols.” Changbin spoke softly, “And I don’t want us to get in trouble the first day after break.”

Although you really couldn’t have cared less about the ghosts, they rarely walked through the library anyways, some citing memories from their deaths in the history books and others just not bothering because who would be in the library this late, you lifted your head. You were met with pink cheeks, hooded eyelids and a seemingly drunken smile.

“Did you just wake up too?” Your voice came out more stable that time, yet you still felt the small hands of the sandman trying to tempt you again. When Changbin nodded you stayed silent, just admiring the boy laid out in front of you. One of your hands rested on his chest to keep you upright and you pushed yourself forward to kiss both of his cheeks. 

“We should head back to our dorms, I don’t wanna get caught, especially not by the Fat Friar or the Grey Lady.” Changbin moved his hands from your back to your waist, helping you in sitting up on the couch. He, in turn, tucked his legs under you and stood up. “I’ll help you back if you want?”

Sleep sounded nice, but sleeping while also cuddled into Changbin sounded even better. So you shook your head, hand sliding down Changbin’s arm to find his hand, not needing vision to fit your fingers together perfectly. “No,” You stood up, squeezing his hand slightly. “I want to stay with you.”

Changbin’s cheeks bloomed red again, a shy smile and quick ruffle of his hair coming and going before he looked back up to you. “Okay, okay. Do you want to sleep in my Common Room or yours?” The fact that he was willing to risk getting in trouble for you had your heart clenching.

“I’ve always wanted to see what the Hufflepuff Common Room looked like.” You said with a smile, almost jumping for joy when he began walking in the direction of his Common Room.

You swung your connected hands between you, an excited skip in your step knowing that you wouldn’t have to cocoon yourself in your blanket to keep warm. The thought came though, that you wouldn’t be able to do that when break ended, and a frown etched itself into your face. The frown stayed there until you got to the door to the Common Room, when your lips straightened into a line.

Changbin looked over at you, hand immediately finding some switch behind a barrel that sat next to the door. You knew there was some sort of code or button or something to get into the room, Seungmin had told you a story of his first time trying to find it, but you didn’t know it was there. A smile was quickly flashed to him as you tried to not let him know what you were thinking.

As soon as the door opened, however, you forgot everything you had been thinking about, a loud gasp leaving your lips. 

You hadn’t ever seen the Hufflepuff Common Room, just getting a picture in your head from what Seungmin had described it as, but wow, did it look way better than anything Seungmin could have said. 

It had a low ceiling made of what looked like oak wood, with a simple chandelier hanging directly in the middle. The light from said chandelier reached every nook and cranny in the room, making everything bright and giving you a rush of energy. You understood why Hufflepuffs always seemed to be smiling. Scattered throughout the room were comfy looking chairs and couches, though there was a small circle of furniture around the fireplace, which was always slowly burning. 

The whole room was shrouded in a light yellow color, from the rounded walls to the fabric of the furniture. A soft orange spilled from the fireplace area, and you were immediately drawn to it, like a moth to a flame. 

“Woah.” You were still observing everything around you as Changbin led you to one of the couches by the fire. Small potted plants sat on tables along with small stacks of books. It was unusual that they had plants in the Common Room but weren’t allowed any in their private rooms, and you were glad you got Changbin the plant globe so he could have them by his bedside.

“It’s not much, but it’s comfy.” Changbin shrugged, sitting down in the middle of the muted yellow couch, pulling you down so you sat on his lap.

“What do you mean?” You continued looking around, seeing the thick layer of snow outside the windows. “It’s so relaxing to sit in here, I could fall asleep right away.”

“Well let’s do that then.” The hand that was clasped in yours let go, moving you so you laid in the same position as in the library. The couch you were laying on was much larger than the previous one, with much softer looking pillows. Not that you needed a pillow, you had Changbin who was like your own personal firm but soft pillow.

After a little bit of moving you settled with your nose pressed back into the column of Changbin’s neck, one of your hands sitting on his chest. As you laid there, you traced small shapes into his skin, chuckling when he started to shake. “I’m ticklish.” He had stated as an excuse, but you continued the small touches, only scaling back slightly because the feeling of his muscles under his shirt was comforting, more so than the color of the room or the lighting hitting the walls.

“Goodnight, baby.” was the last thing you heard before you let yourself fall into sleep once again.

viiii.

You woke up to the sounds of furniture being moved. It was extremely loud, echoing through the soon to be full hallways and traveling out into the snow. Instead of jumping up and exploring the noise, you settled in Changbin’s arms, not wanting to get up and face the reality of the day.

His hands were loosely resting on your hips, no longer adding pressure or drawing invisible pictures. You could feel his chest raising and lowering with each deep breath he took. When you lifted your head up you noticed the same pink tint to his cheeks and you kissed each of them, trying hard not to wake him up just yet. 

The noise continued on, and you decided to get up, your eyes already ridding themselves of the Sandman’s dust and your mind already ready to start the day that you had been dreading since the beginning of break: the end of break. 

You slowly lifted yourself off of Changbin, putting your hands on either side of his waist and swinging your feet to the floor. Luckily the carpet swallowed most of the noise of your footsteps as you walked out of the room. You thought about what would happen when Changbin woke up and you weren’t there, but you also knew that he would know where to find you.

The walk to the Great Hall seemed longer than any other time you’ve had to do it, and you looked on at the paintings, some of them not in their frames and others posed perfectly in anticipation for everyone coming back to the castle. Once you got to the hard stone of the hallway floors, your footsteps echoed underneath the ongoing noise. It came to a crescendo when you reached the doors to the Great Hall, finding what you expected.

The giant Christmas tree that once stood in the middle of the room was gone, the fairies that once danced on its branches stood on the lanterns hanging from the ceiling. They held their hands up like puppet masters, and you realized they were the ones moving the long tables back into the Hall. Everything was being turned back into normal, and while you were happy to go back to the routine, you also knew you would miss being one of the only people in the castle. 

“You scared me.” A voice came from beside you, but you weren’t shocked, only a nod coming as a response. Changbin stood beside you, his arm snaking around your waist and pulling you into him. “It seems like just yesterday I saw you eating with your friends and now here we are.” His eyes never left the moving tables, but yours trailed to his face. Had he known of you for that long?

Before you could ask, however, Changbin smiled. “I’ve had a crush on you for a while.” He shrugged, looking at you. The noise had calmed down, but he still leaned closer as if he was trying to talk over it. “I just never thought you would know who I was, so I kinda gave up.”

The scraping of the tables on the wood floor stopped, and you looked to see everything settled into place, just as it was before. You walked towards the Ravenclaw table, feeling Changbin’s presence next to you as you sat down.

“Well here we are now.” You said simply, leaning your head on your hand and peering sideways at Changbin. 

“Yep, here we are now.” Changbin stared at the Hufflepuff table in front of him. “So,” he started, not switching his focus from the table. “Are you okay if my friends know about us? You don’t have to meet them right away, they tend to come pretty late back from break anyways.”

The statement was kind of obvious, you noted. There was no reason for you to hide your relationship, if anything, your friends would be ecstatic to see you had met, and gotten very acquainted with, Changbin. Especially Jisung. Okay, maybe Jisung could be in the dark for a little bit. You weren’t ready to say he was right.

“Of course, I don’t think there’s any reason to hide it, do you?” The hand on your waist squeezed softly, almost in reassurance. “As long as you’re okay with my friends knowing? I mean, one of them is a Hufflepuff, you might know him, and the other two are very,” You paused, trying to find the right word to describe Luna and Jisung, “interesting.” 

“Of course, I want them to know about us. My friends are all Gryffindors, three of them. One was my lab partner in Potions, he’s two years younger than me, and then another one is a year younger and the other is a year older.” Changbin counted off his friends, not giving much detail except what year they were in.

“That’s an interesting combination.” You chuckled, trying to think of any Gryffindors you knew of. Having nothing come to mind, you gave up, knowing you would see them soon. “There’s not much more time left until everyone arrives.” There was a sad note to your voice.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Changbin smiled as he asked it, his full face now on display as he turned his body to face yours. Instead of responding, you just leaned forward, connecting your lips and letting them rest there for a moment. Changbin was taken aback, a soft, “okay” mumbled against your lips before he kissed back. The hand that wasn’t on your waist was cupping your cheek, while your two hands rested on his shoulders, thumbs pressing into his collarbones. 

Your lips moved together in sync for who knows how long. Time didn’t matter when you were near Changbin, all that mattered was that he was there and that hopefully he would be there for a long time. You lost yourself in him, only focusing on the soft cotton of his robe underneath your fingers, the smooth glide of his lips on yours, and the way your skin heated up where he was touching you. 

The sound of a train horn made you pull away, your face hot and you were sure you mimicked Changbin’s red cheeks. You smiled at him, letting your fingers trail to the back of his neck and play with the short hairs at the nape. Landing one last kiss on the tip of his nose, you turned to the door, watching as some students already started piling in and sitting at their house table. 

You heard Jisung before you even saw him, his loud voice talking about something you couldn’t quite distinguish, but you knew it was him. Then you saw his hair, now a light blond, walking along with blue hair, Luna. Standing up, you grabbed Changbin’s hand, giving it a light squeeze and preparing yourself for the bombardment of hugs and questions you would get.

“Y/N!” The loud scream came from Jisung, startling the still small amount of students in the Hall. He came running up to you, causing you to let go of Changbin’s hand and use both of yours to brace yourself for the body crashing into you. 

It doesn’t mean you were ready for the body crashing into you, though. Almost falling over, you wrapped your arms around Jisung, a large smile making your cheeks hurt. There weren’t any words being exchanged, except for nearly silent “hello”s as Luna also came up behind Jisung and joined in on the hug. 

When Jisung pulled away, his eyes trailed from your face to Changbin standing next to you, his hand hovering over the small of your back. You said nothing, letting Jisung put the pieces together. You knew he figured it out when his mouth hung open.

“So now I know what you were doing instead of reading my owl messages and replying to me!” Jisung held your shoulders, shaking you slightly. “And I told you so!” He said the last part a bit louder, and you felt your face heat up. 

“Yeah, yeah, sure. You said something.” You rolled your eyes.

“I said a lot of stuff, all of which seemed to be correct by the looks of things.” Jisung stared down at Changbin’s hand on your back before following the hand to find it’s owner staring at him, a small smile on his face. “Oh, sorry I’m rude. I know you but you probably don’t know me, I’m Jisung, Y/N’s best friend and I was right about you two.”

“I’m Luna!” Luna said from behind Jisung, her hands holding her cage with her pet owl. 

“Nice to meet you guys. And you were right about what?” Changbin asked Jisung, and you whipped around to him, trying to tell him to not ask about anything Jisung said, but it was already too late.

“I found out you were staying behind along with our lovely friend here, and me, being the amazing lovebird I am, said she should have some fun instead of just spending it all studying.” Jisung explained, clapping at himself and you shook your head laughing. Luna came up behind Jisung, nodding along to everything he said.

“I think the only reason why we’re dating is because you weren’t here to be my wingman anymore.” You jabbed his side with your elbow. “Can we sit down? You guys look tired from the train ride.”

Jisung and Luna nodded, turning around to walk to the other side of the table. While they did that you turned to Changbin, face heating up when you saw he was smiling at you. “You talked about me before we met?”

“Don’t get so flattered, Jisung was exaggerating just a little bit.” You pouted, sitting down and leaning into his side.

“Even if he was exaggerating, I think it’s cute.” Changbin commented, kissing your temple and watching Jisung and Luna weave through students, now followed by Seungmin with very messy hair and an annoyed look on his face. “We can meet my friends later if you want.”

“Sure, that sounds good.” Your head stayed on Changbin’s shoulder as your friends finally sat in front of you. No one said anything at first, but the expressions on their faces told all. Jisung, of course, had a very I told you so face on, one eyebrow raised and a smirk playing on his lips. Luna was looking between you and Changbin and smiling, while Seungmin’s mouth hung open at the sight of the boy sitting next to you. “What happened to you?” You questioned Seungmin, watching as his face turned from one of surprise to one of annoyance.

“My sister’s cat decided to fall asleep on my head and then my alarm didn’t go off so I didn’t have time to fix my messed up hair before I had to catch the train.” Seungmin shook his head, trying desperately with his hands to smooth down his hair before giving up with a huff.

“Just use a spell.” Luna shrugged, running a hand through her blue hair. As she did so, the colors seemed to change slightly, and you realized she must have used a new magic dye to turn her hair even more colors under different lights. 

“It’s okay, we don’t go back to classes until tomorrow so I can just take a shower when I get back to the Common Room.” Seungmin shrugged, waiting a moment before directing his attention to Changbin. “So, I’m assuming you two are a thing?”

Changbin just nodded, the arm around your waist tightening while you just scooted closer to him. “Yeah, she couldn’t resist my Hufflepuff charms.” Your arm came around to lightly smack his stomach, all of your friends laughing as you rolled your eyes.

“Yeah I couldn’t resist the plant nerd.” You patted his stomach where you hit him just seconds earlier. All your friends laughed again, and you felt a soft vibration of Changbin chuckling as well. You were so glad your friends liked him and got along with him, and you were glad that you had decided to give him a chance.

You looked up at Changbin, finding his nose scrunched up in a fake pout and you gave him a quick peck on the cheek to try and satiate him. When you pulled away you saw Jisung push his palms into his cheeks, a loud “awe” sounding throughout the room as he looked between you. Although your cheeks lit up, you stuck your tongue out at Jisung. “You’re just mad I didn’t need you as my wingman.”

“If I was your wingman you two would have been together for a year by now.” Jisung dodged your hand coming across the table, holding his hands up in fake defeat. “Well you are very cute together, like I said before break but of course some people just don’t appreciate genius.” He shook his head, looking down at his hands and then leaning back to pet his owl in its cage. 

You decided not to argue anymore, instead just listening to your friends tell their stories of Christmas spent with family. Changbin’s hand stayed firmly on your waist, his cheek resting on your shoulder. Sometimes he would interject with a statement or a joke and you smiled at how perfect he fit into the group. 

The warmth that you noticed at the beginning of the break when you first saw Changbin was still there, but instead of a burning heat it was a comforting warmth that filled your whole body to the tips of your fingers and toes. It was like you didn’t have to worry about being cold ever again when Changbin was around, even if you weren’t touching him, just him looking at you made you begin to heat up. 

You could have almost fallen asleep there at the table with your head resting on your hand, but you fought against it, trying to stay active in the conversation while also enjoying just being close to him until you had to eventually separate and go to your own Common Rooms.

You knew when you got back to your Common Room that Jisung and Luna would bombard you with questions, and you were happy to answer them. Through the break you had the best time ever, and you were going to have to thank Jisung for telling you that you should have fun, because that’s exactly what you did, and in the process you found someone that made you feel a comfortable warmth that you couldn’t describe but you loved. 

“Penny for your thoughts?” Changbin whispered in your ear while Jisung and Seungmin argued over some sort of history fact.

Looking up at him, you smiled, fighting the urge to press your lips to his again and again. Instead, a simple answer came to mind, and you spoke just as softly as he did, not wanting anyone else to hear. It was what you were thinking about since you met Changbin, and every day since then. It was what you thought in the morning and at night and every second in between. It was a simple answer, but you knew it would get the message across.

“You.”

#stray kids #m.writing #stray kids imagines #skzwriters #stray kids scenarios #stray kids oneshot #seo changbin #changbin #changbin imagines #seo changbin imagine #skz imagines #skz scenarios #this was actually so fun to write !!! #enjoy :D #and its sooo long i apologize i hope you all like it tho !!! 🙇🏻‍♀️😔

[agentrouka-blog]

Arya and Weasel - sending your inner child off into the woods

Weasel is an orphaned, traumatized girl of around two years of age whose story is absolutely heartbreaking. We meet her in A Clash of Kings and she accompanies us for the span of three Arya chapters, which takes place over just about a month, most of which takes place off page. 

We meet her at the end of Arya III, she has her first interaction with Arya in Arya IV and then tags along with Arya, Lommy, Hot Pie and Gendry in the woods until she runs off into the unknown at the end of Arya V.

I’ll follow the story and try to give some sense of time and location to justify my time estimates, simply because GRRM chooses to be so vague. 

Gods, Arya’s chapters in ACOK are among the very finest in the entire book series. 

Warning: Long. As always, excessive use of quotes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ACOK, Arya III (chapter 9)

Yoren and his gang have been traveling the Kingsroad since King’s Landing. She beat Hot Pie bloody in Arya I and they had a tense encounter with goldcloaks looking for Gendry in Arya II. Now they change course westward of the Kingsroad close to the beginning of the chapter.

“We’re not far from Gods Eye,” the black brother said one morning. “The kingsroad won’t be safe till we’re across the Trident. So we’ll come up around the lake along the western shore, they’re not like to look for us there.” At the next spot where two ruts cut cross each other, he turned the wagons west. 

Here farmland gave way to forest, the villages and holdfasts were smaller and farther apart, the hills higher and the valleys deeper. Food grew harder to come by.

They spend an unspecified amount of time, likely about two weeks, traveling and living off the land. Enough for two days delay to still matter but long enough to form habits, see landscapes change, have hunting adventures.

Outside a holdfast called Briarwhite, some fieldhands surrounded them in a cornfield, demanding coin for the ears they’d taken. (…)

The next day Koss came racing back to warn Yoren of a camp ahead. (…) “Might be one side, might be t’other. If they’re hurt that bad, likely they’d take our mounts no matter who they are. Might be they’d take more than that. I believe we’ll go wide around them.” It took them miles out of their way, and cost them two days at the least, but the old man said it was cheap at the price. (…) 

Arya saw men guarding the fields more and more when they turned north again. (…) At one place, she spotted a man perched up in a dead tree, with a bow in his hand and a quiver hanging from the branch beside him. (…) 

A day later Dobber spied a red glow against the evening sky. “Either this road went and turned again, or that sun’s setting in the north.”

Weasel’s tragedy begins when her village is put to the torch. The blaze is enough to light up the night sky from half a day’s travel away. Judging from what we see in Arya IV, the violence was likely unspeakable.

By dawn the fire had burned itself out, but none of them slept very well that night. It was midday when they arrived at the place where the village had been.

It’s butchery and desolation. Yoren goes to investigate the destroyed holdfast. 

When they finally returned, Yoren had a little girl in his arms, and Murch and Cutjack were carrying a woman in a sling made of an old torn quilt. The girl was no older than two and she cried all the time, a whimpery sound, like something was caught in her throat. Either she couldn’t talk yet or she had forgotten how. The woman’s right arm ended in a bloody stump at her elbow, and her eyes didn’t seem to see anything, even when she was looking right at it.

I knee-jerk assumed the woman to be Weasel’s mother, but that is never explicitly stated in the text. For all we know, they aren’t related at all. They are not shown to interact, and even if the woman was Weasel’s mother, she is too far gone from her severe injury to be coherent, let alone care for the child. 

 She talked, but she only said one thing. “Please,” she cried, over and over. “Please. Please.” Rorge thought that was funny. He laughed through the hole in his face where his nose had been, and Biter started laughing too, until Murch cursed them and told them to shut up. Yoren had them fix the woman a place in the back of a wagon. “And be quick about it,” he said. “Come dark, there’ll be wolves here, and worse.” “I’m scared,” Hot Pie murmured when he saw the one-armed woman thrashing in the wagon. “Me too,” Arya confessed. He squeezed her shoulder. “I never truly kicked no boy to death, Arry. I just sold my mommy’s pies, is all.” Arya rode as far ahead of the wagons as she dared, so she wouldn’t have to hear the little girl crying or listen to the woman whisper, “Please.” She remembered a story Old Nan had told once, about a man imprisoned in a dark castle by evil giants. He was very brave and smart and he tricked the giants and escaped . . . but no sooner was he outside the castle than the Others took him, and drank his hot red blood. Now she knew how he must have felt. The one-armed woman died at evenfall. Gendry and Cutjack dug her grave on a hillside beneath a weeping willow. When the wind blew, Arya thought she could hear the long trailing branches whispering, “Please. Please. Please.” The little hairs on the back of her neck rose, and she almost ran from the graveside.

I almost inserted a long paragraph about the textual parallels to Lyanna and Sansa here. But I refrained because this is merely meant to document Weasel. 

The woman and the child (and the murdered men I didn’t include in my quotes) are Arya’s first direct confrontation with the vicious of this war. She and Hot Pie are so humbled in the face of it, they forget their original enmity, their posturing. They become children again. They admit their bone-deep fear. 

The human suffering is an unbearable horror and Arya, understandably, tries to block it out and get away from it. 

So this tiny little girl Weasel has just watched every person she has ever known being murdered by scary, angry strangers and then spent that night and half a day among the charred ruins and the bodies. Hungry, thirsty, scared. No one shows up to comfort her until another stranger picks her up and carries her away. 

It goes on:

“No fire tonight,” Yoren told them. Supper was a handful of wild radishes Koss found, a cup of dry beans, water from a nearby brook. The water had a funny taste to it, and Lommy told them it was the taste of bodies, rotting someplace upstream. Hot Pie would have hit him if old Reysen hadn’t pulled them apart.

We’ll return to this lovely image.

Arya encounters wolves as she relieves herself in the woods at night. They do not harm her, but she is clearly shaken by everything that has happened. 

The crying girl travelling alonside her and the wolves prowling the woods. Two sides of Arya.

She tells Yoren she doesn’t care. She just wants to go home. The chapter ends on:

“Go to sleep, boy. Hear me?”

She did try. Yet as she lay under her thin blanket, she could hear the wolves howling . . . and another sound, fainter, no more than a whisper on the wind, that might have been screams.

Followed by a lovely thematic transition at the beginning of Davos I.

The morning air was dark with the smoke of burning gods. They were all afire now, Maid and Mother, Warrior and Smith, the Crone with her Pearl eyes and the Father with his gilded beard; even the Stranger, carved to look more animal than human. The old dry wood and countless layers of paint and varnish blazed with a fierce hungry light. Heat rose shimmering through the chill air; behind, the gargoyles and stone dragons on the castle walls seemed blurred, as if Davos were seeing them through a veil of tears. Or as if the beasts were trembling, stirring . . .

Arya is about to enter the warzone for real.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ACOK, Arya IV (chapter 14)

We open not too far from where we left Yoren’s merry band. They have reached the river flowing straight south from the Gods Eye. 

It seemed a peaceful place . . . until Koss spotted the dead man. “There, in the reeds.” He pointed, and Arya saw it. The body of a soldier, shapeless and swollen. His sodden green cloak had hung up on a rotted log, and a school of tiny silver fishes were nibbling at his face. “I told you there was bodies,” Lommy announced. “I could taste them in that water.”

He tasted them in the brook, this is a river. Usually brooks flow into rivers, not the other way around. But not too much travel time can have passed for Lommy to make that remark. A day? Two days?

We get a location.

It was midday when the others returned. Woth reported a wooden bridge half a mile downstream, but someone had burned it up. Yoren peeled a sourleaf off the bale. “Might be we could swim the horses over, maybe the donkeys, but there’s no way we’ll get those wagons across. And there’s smoke to the north and west, more fires, could be this side o’ the river’s the place we want to be.” He picked up a long stick and drew a circle in the mud, a line trailing down from it. “That’s Gods Eye, with the river flowing south. We’re here.” He poked a hole beside the line of the river, under the circle. “We can’t go round west of the lake, like I thought. East takes us back to the kingsroad.” He moved the stick up to where the line and circle met. “Near as I recall, there’s a town here. The holdfast’s stone, and there’s a lordling got his seat there too, just a towerhouse, but he’ll have a guard, might be a knight or two. We follow the river north, should be there before dark. They’ll have boats, so I mean to sell all we got and hire us one.” He drew the stick up through the circle of the lake, from bottom to top. “Gods be good, we’ll find a wind and sail across the Gods Eye to Harrentown.”

We don’t know what hour the sun sets but it’s early autumn in Westeros and I’m guessing they’re about 7 to 8 hours from the south shore of the God’s Eye, at wagon and donkey travel-speed.

We have our first mention of Weasel among a heartbreaking instance of Arya’s remaining faith in humanity.

Hot Pie was being silly; it wouldn’t be ghosts at Harrenhal, it would be knights. Arya could reveal herself to Lady Whent, and the knights would escort her home and keep her safe. That was what knights did; they kept you safe, especially women. Maybe Lady Whent would even help the crying girl.

Sadly, we don’t hear who has been taking care of the little girl since her mother died. Arya makes no mention of it.

They reach the deserted town.

The black brother left ten to guard the wagons and the whimpery little girl, and split the rest of them into four groups of five to search the town.

There are no boats, they decide to spend the night at the holdfast. Lots of descriptions of the holdfast and the town. No mention of the little girl. Seriously, who is minding this little toddler? 

When the food was ready, Arya ate a chicken leg and a bit of onion. No one talked much, not even Lommy. Gendry went off by himself afterward, polishing his helm with a look on his face like he wasn’t even there. The crying girl whimpered and wept, but when Hot Pie offered her a bit of goose she gobbled it down and looked for more.

Ah, at least someone is feeding her. Thank you, Hot Pie. Weasel is hungry, she wants to live.

Hot Pie went off and let her alone and Arya curled up on her pallet. She could hear the crying girl from the far side of the haven. I wish she’d just be quiet. Why does she have to cry all the time?

Getting some sister parallels in here.

Jeyne Poole had been confined with her, but Jeyne was useless. Her face was puffy from all her crying, and she could not seem to stop sobbing about her father.

"I'm certain your father is well," Sansa told her when she had finally gotten the dress buttoned right. "I'll ask the queen to let you see him." She thought that kindness might lift Jeyne's spirits, but the other girl just looked at her with red, swollen eyes and began to cry all the harder. She was such a child. (AGOT, Sansa IV)

Don’t like others crying around you when you’re scared, Stark Sisters, do you? There’s a Robb parallel, too.

"Rickon needs you," Robb said sharply. "He's only three, he doesn't understand what's happening. He thinks everyone has deserted him, so he follows me around all day, clutching my leg and crying. I don't know what to do with him." He paused a moment, chewing on his lower lip the way he'd done when he was little. "Mother, I need you too. I'm trying but I can't … I can't do it all by myself." His voice broke with sudden emotion, and Catelyn remembered that he was only fourteen. She wanted to get up and go to him, but Bran was still holding her hand and she could not move. (AGOT, Catelyn III)

They tend to have other characters reflect their inner emotions. That crying, overwhelmed child that they are trying to ingore: themselves. 

Arya, likely through warg power, wakes up to warn the others of the imminent attack. Amory Lorch’s riders are putting the town to the torch. Arya is watching from the holdfast parapets.

Something bumped against her leg, and she glanced down to discover the crying girl clutching her. “Get away!” She wrenched her leg free. “What are you doing up here? Run and hide someplace, you stupid.” She shoved the girl away.

No room for soft feelings when you have to function to survive.

Lorch is not inclined to spare Yoren on account of being with the NW. They attack and throw torches, the barn has a secret tunnel and Yoren orders them to escape. But the barn is already on fire.

As they were running toward the barn, Arya spied the crying girl sitting in the middle of the chaos, surrounded by smoke and slaughter. She grabbed her by the hand and pulled her to her feet as the others raced ahead. The girl wouldn’t walk, even when slapped. Arya dragged her with her right hand while she held Needle in the left. Ahead, the night was a sullen red. The barn’s on fire, she thought. Flames were licking up its sides from where a torch had fallen on straw, and she could hear the screaming of the animals trapped within. Hot Pie stepped out of the barn. “Arry, come on! Lommy’s gone, leave her if she won’t come!” Stubbornly, Arya dragged all the harder, pulling the crying girl along. Hot Pie scuttled back inside, abandoning them . . . but Gendry came back, the fire shining so bright on his polished helm that the horns seemed to glow orange. He ran to them, and hoisted the crying girl up over his shoulder. “Run!”  

In this moment of absolute mortal danger, Arya decides to take charge of the traumatized toddler to ensure her survival, stubbornly, violently even. Just like Yoren did with her. Hot Pie would have left her. Ouch. Gendry soon takes over, luckily. 

The open trap was only a few feet ahead, but the fire was spreading fast, consuming the old wood and dry straw faster than she would have believed. Arya remembered the Hound’s horrible burned face. “Tunnel’s narrow,” Gendry shouted. “How do we get her through?” “Pull her,” Arya said. “Push her.” “Good boys, kind boys,” called Jaqen H’ghar, coughing. “Get these fucking chains off!” Rorge screamed. Gendry ignored them. “You go first, then her, then me. Hurry, it’s a long way.” “When you split the firewood,” Arya remembered, “where did you leave the axe?” “Out by the haven.” He spared a glance for the chained men. “I’d save the donkeys first. There’s no time.” “You take her!” she yelled. “You get her out! You do it!” The fire beat at her back with hot red wings as she fled the burning barn.

Even having grabbed the little girl and knowing there is a path to escaping, Arya cannot simply flee. She hands over the charge of Weasel to Gendry and proceeds to save the lives of the three captives from the black cells. Because Arya doesn’t just let people die. Not unless she wants them dead herself. A force of nature.

She gets the axe from outside in the battlezone, walks back into the blazing barn, throws the axe into the wagon and dives down to safety. The chapter ends thus:

Arya rolled headfirst into the tunnel and dropped five feet. She got dirt in her mouth but she didn’t care, the taste was fine, the taste was mud and water and worms and life. Under the earth the air was cool and dark. Above was nothing but blood and roaring red and choking smoke and the screams of dying horses. She moved her belt around so Needle would not be in her way, and began to crawl. A dozen feet down the tunnel she heard the sound, like the roar of some monstrous beast, and a cloud of hot smoke and black dust came billowing up behind her, smelling of hell. Arya held her breath and kissed the mud on the floor of the tunnel and cried. For whom, she could not say.

So that went from dire to catastrophic.

I love how this chapter was structured. It starts out quiet, the unease builds in the empty town, they create a moment of respite eating dinner in the perceived safety of the holdfast, but even there they have doomed themselves by lighting the cookfire. Then it escalates, the howling of the wolves, the phony negotiations, the blaze they saw in the distance the chapter before now comes to them, and everything sinks into cacophony, until the last second of dubious escape. Arya’s helpless tears are such a well-earned release of panic and tension. There is no safety, only momentary escape, only confusion. It’s monstrous.

She cries, like Weasel cried.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ACOK, Arya V (chapter 19)  

We open to Arya high up on a tree observing a village on the Western lakeshore. 

Someone’s there. Arya chewed her lip. All the other places they’d come upon had been empty and desolate. Farms, villages, castles, septs, barns, it made no matter. If it could burn, the Lannisters had burned it; if it could die, they’d killed it. 

They have been traveling in the woods a while since the night of the blaze. Arya remembers them returning the next night, burying Yoren and joining up with three survivors. The route is North along the Western lakeshore.

Cutjack opened the door at Gendry’s shout, and when Kurz said they’d be better pressing on north than going back, Arya had clung to the hope that she still might reach Winterfell. (…)

To the east, Gods Eye was a sheet of sunhammered blue that filled half the world. Some days, as they made their slow way up the muddy shore (Gendry wanted no part of any roads, and even Hot Pie and Lommy saw the sense in that), Arya felt as though the lake were calling her. (…)

North along the shore, past a number of deserted rural settlings. 

At the end of the day she would often sit on a rock and dangle her feet in the cool water. She had finally thrown away her cracked and rotted shoes. Walking barefoot was hard at first, but the blisters had finally broken, the cuts had healed, and her soles had turned to leather. The mud was nice between her toes, and she liked to feel the earth underfoot when she walked. 

This process will have taken some time. A few weeks.

From up here, she could see a small wooded island off to the northeast.

While the Isle of Faces is not truly small, there is no mention of other wooded islands on the lake. This would place Arya less than halfway up the western shore of the lake. This would match the wagon travel speed of a few weeks from the kingsroad to the holdfast on the south shore. They are slow because they avoid roads, trudge through vegetation and mud, and because they are encumbered by injury and a toddler.

The food situation is not great.

She had broken her fast on some acorn paste and a handful of bugs. Bugs weren’t so bad when you got used to them. Worms were worse, but still not as bad as the pain in your belly after days without food. Finding bugs was easy, all you had to do was kick over a rock. Arya had eaten a bug once when she was little, just to make Sansa screech, so she hadn’t been afraid to eat another. Weasel wasn’t either, but Hot Pie retched up the beetle he tried to swallow, and Lommy and Gendry wouldn’t even try. Yesterday Gendry had caught a frog and shared it with Lommy, and, a few days before, Hot Pie had found blackberries and stripped the bush bare, but mostly they had been living on water and acorns.

The kids are on their own. Kurz the poacher was kind to them and gave them some survival training. But he died four days after they set off from an infected wound. The other two adults abandoned them directly after. Echoes of Dany with Drogo and the khalasar. Up and gone when he died, leaving behind the weak and the slaves.

Maybe Tarber and Cutjack figured they would stand a better chance without a gaggle of orphan boys to herd along. They probably would too, but that didn’t stop her hating them for leaving.

This is horrific. Four children between 14 and 9 years old, plus a little toddler. Sneakily abandoned by the two remaining adults. The Hansel and Gretel vibes are strong. Like Hansel and Gretel, they will be captured looking for food. Like Gretel, Arya will free them using cooking as a weapon, eventually. But that’s for later.

Very much of Arya’s chapters echoes Dany, actually. All from opposite sides. The violence, the abandonment, the eventual enslavement, the starving. The comparison to sheep. It all shows the bottom side of Dany’s war at Drogo’s side, and her travels through the desert with the baby dragons. Even Vaes Tolorro mirrors the Gods Eye town. Food and rest, and visitors that will lead them to another large settlement, eventually. But back to the kids in the woods.

Arya rejoins the others and we see Weasel again. 

At the sound of her voice, Weasel came creeping out from the bushes. Lommy had named her that. He said she looked like a weasel, which wasn’t true, but they couldn’t keep on calling her the crying girl after she finally stopped crying. Her mouth was filthy. Arya hoped she hadn’t been eating mud again.

“Did you see people?” asked Gendry. “Mostly just roofs,” Arya admitted, “but some chimneys were smoking, and I heard a horse.” The Weasel put her arms around her leg, clutching tight. Sometimes she did that now.

So Weasel is all cried out. It’s been a month or so since she lost her family after her village was set ablaze, followed soon after by another such violent, fiery attack. She went from a stationary life in a vilage with her family, meal time, bed time, cuddles and playing, to a life of being scared, confused, hungry, dirty and constantly on the move. 

Like Arya, Weasel stopped crying, like Arya, Weasel doesn’t mind mud in her mouth.

“If it’s a fishing village, they’d sell us fish, I bet,” said Hot Pie. The lake teemed with fresh fish, but they had nothing to catch them with. Arya had tried to use her hands, the way she’d seen Koss do, but fish were quicker than pigeons and the water played tricks on her eyes. “I don’t know about fish.” Arya tugged at the Weasel’s matted hair, thinking it might be best to hack it off. “There’s crows down by the water. Something’s dead there.” “Fish, washed up on shore,” Hot Pie said. “If the crows eat it, I bet we could.” “We should catch some crows, we could eat them,” said Lommy. “We could make a fire and roast them like chickens.”

I love these kids. They are hungry and grumpy and irritated and listless, in their way. They have no clue what to do and injured Lommy is the most anxious of them all. His leg was wounded and infection is setting in. He is the most helpless, and it makes him the most annoying of them. Yield, he says. Yield.

Like Yoren did to her, Arya contemplates hacking off Weasel’s hair. Matted, tangled. Like a bird’s nest, perchance? 

A lovely parallel highlighting the role of privilege, with another taumatized orphan cared for by a Stark daughter:

Alayne smoothed his hair. Lady Lysa had never let the servants touch it, and after she had died Robert had suffered terrible shaking fits whenever anyone came near him with a blade, so it had been allowed to grow until it tumbled over his round shoulders and halfway down his flabby white chest. He does have pretty hair. If the gods are good and he lives long enough to wed, his wife will admire his hair, surely. That much she will love about him. (TWOW, Alayne I)

Arya is trying to care for this child, for her inner child, but she does it listlessly, no practice, no plan. She doesn’t talk to Weasel, at all. Numb.

“Whoever it is, you should yield to them,” Lommy whined. “I need some potion for my leg, it hurts bad.” “If we see any leg potion, we’ll bring it,” Gendry said. “Arry, let’s go, I want to get near before the sun is down. Hot Pie, you keep Weasel here, I don’t want her following.” “Last time she kicked me.” “I’ll kick you if you don’t keep her here.” Without waiting for an answer,  Gendry donned his steel helm and walked off.  Arya had to scamper to keep up. Gendry was five years older and a foot taller than she was, and long of leg as well. For a while he said nothing, just plowed on through the trees with an angry look on his face, making too much noise. But finally he stopped and said, “I think Lommy’s going to die.”

Ah. 

Gendry is the “adult” in the group and he’s definitely going through his own “Rickon in tugging on my leg” phase, and presenting Arya with a variant of an offer Dany gets from Xaro in Meereen later: Abandon this doomed, starving lot and take your chances elsewhere. Unlike Dany, Arya is not actually responsible for any of these children, not even little Weasel. Unlike Dany, she is not even close to tempted.

“I’m sick of carrying him, and I’m sick of all his talk about yielding too. If he could stand up, I’d knock his teeth in. Lommy’s no use to anyone. That crying girl’s no use either.” “You leave Weasel alone, she’s just scared and hungry is all.” Arya glanced back, but the girl was not following for once. Hot Pie must have grabbed her, like Gendry had told him. “She’s no use,” Gendry repeated stubbornly. “Her and Hot Pie and Lommy, they’re slowing us down, and they’re going to get us killed. You’re the only one of the bunch who’s good for anything. Even if you are a girl.”

I am cutting out the following super hilarious exchange around revealing her identity, along with the horrible description of the village with the gibbet and the “SS rounds up the villagers for questioning and deportation” imagery.

Gendry gets himself captured and hauled into the warehouse with the other prisoners. Arya will leave no one behind. Arya will defend her pack. 

Lommy and Hot Pie almost shit themselves when she stepped out of the trees behind them. “Quiet,” she told them, putting an arm around Weasel when the little girl came running up.

Hot Pie stared at her with big eyes. “We thought you left us.” He had his shortsword in hand, the one Yoren had taken off the gold cloak. “I was scared you was a wolf.”

She has her arms around Weasel, trying to comfort the child, keeping in touch with the last of her innocence. It’s her final interaction with Weasel. They thought she was a wolf. She will be. 

Hot Pie glanced at Lommy, at Arya, at Lommy again. “I’ll come,” he said reluctantly. “Lommy, you keep Weasel here.” He grabbed the little girl by the hand and pulled her close. “What if the wolves come?” “Yield,” Arya suggested.

Iconic, badass quote. Heartbreaking context. Their rescue mission is unsurprisingly doomed before it truly gets going. Hot Pie “yields” at the first instance and Arya receives a terrible blow to the head. They take Needle. They are made to lead guards to Lommy and Weasel. 

The man with the torch searched around under the trees. “Are you the last? Baker Boy said there was a girl.” “She ran off when she heard you coming,” Lommy said. “You made a lot of noise.” And Arya thought, Run, Weasel, run as far as you can, run and hide and never come back.

Hide, inner child. Run and hide, like Nymeria. Like the wolf.

So that is the last we see of little Weasel. 

Realistically, she will be dead within days. Exposure, poisoning, injury, starvation unless she has absorbed enough from the others to gather enough bugs for herself. Or eaten by wolves. Plus the fear, the feeling of abandonment. It’s a grim picture. It becomes unbearable when you try and picture any toddler you know in the place of Weasel.

I am going to headcanon hardcore that Baby Weasel is going to be found by loving people and taken away to safety, wrapped up warm and fed and gently raised. Alternatively, she is kindly raised by the giant wolf pack. And somehow not freezing to death. *hands over ears* Lalalalaalalalalaalalala!

We end the chapter with one more death, one that we will see avenged four books later:

“Can you walk?” He sounded concerned. “No,” said Lommy. “You got to carry me.” “Think so?” The man lifted his spear casually and drove the point through the boy’s soft throat. Lommy never even had time to yield again. He jerked once, and that was all. When the man pulled his spear loose, blood sprayed out in a dark fountain. “Carry him, he says,” he muttered, chuckling.

The echoes are beautifully done.

"Well," she said, "I don't know how you'll get there, then." "You'll need to carry me." See? thought Mercy. You know your line, and so do I. "Think so?" asked Arya, sweetly. Raff the Sweetling looked up sharply as the long thin blade came sliding from her sleeve. She slipped it through his throat beneath the chin, twisted, and ripped it back out sideways with a single smooth slash. A fine red rain followed, and in his eyes the light went out. "Valar morghulis," Arya whispered, but Raff was dead and did not hear. 

(TWOW, Mercy)

On the one hand, it’s poetic justice. On the other, it screams out that Arya is basically a child concentration camp survivor but the war is not over. She has had no peace, only ever more hiding, no play, only ever more working, no recovery, only ever more killing. She is in exile, still. But she will return home. And she will one day recover. But she will never ever forget.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In Arya VI, she chooses a new name herself for the first time. The concentration camp vibes are strong. Just read the chapter.

“Some farmer’s whelp, are you? Well, never you mind, girl, you have a chance to win a higher place in this world if you work hard. If you won’t work hard, you’ll be beaten. And what do they call you?” Arya dared not say her true name, but Arry was no good either, it was a boy’s name and they could see she was no boy. “Weasel,” she said, naming the first girl she could think of. “Lommy called me Weasel.”

Lommy and Weasel. Injured and young. No use. Dead and gone but not forgotten.

Ramsey names his dogs for the girls he killed. Sansa and Jon each want to name her future children for the family they lost. Arya names herself for the women and girls she cared about. Weasel. Cat. Nymeria, Nan. Even little Beth Cassel. Her kill list is one part of her. But the list of names that truly matters is another. She takes up their cause not in a hope for a peaceful future with personal happiness like Jon and Sansa but in the here and now, within the broiling whirlwind of injustices. But the very first name is for the little girl, for herself, essentially. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In conclusion:

Little Weasel is, to me, a personification of Arya’s inner child, as she struggles with her loss of innocence and the abandonment by adults. Because she shows up when they encounter their first hardcore warcrime scene. Arya tries to ignore her wailing and pays little attention to her, but attaches her to her hopes for help from Lady Whent and her Knights. She doesn’t take charge of Weasel until their adult caretakers, such as they are, become unavailable by way of being horribly murdered in battle. She is not really equipped to care for her, but she tries and she is determined not to abandon her. When she has disappeared, Arya doesn’t despair, she wishes her well, she has some remnant of faith and she attaches it to Weasel. Off into the wild, to escape certain death, perchance to survive, like she sent off Nymeria. 

It is no accident that Arya names herself Weasel when she enters the concentration camp hell that is Harrenhal, and it is a truly briliant stroke that her only direct memory of Weasel after that is when Arya enters service in the House of Black and White in AFFC, Arya II, which seems more empowering but draws up many comparisons in her mind to Harrenhal. The inner child has run off, but her spirit remains hovering over Arya, never quite fading. 

#asoiaf #arya stark #weasel #war crimes #inner child #gendry waters #hot pie #lommy greenhands #yoren #ACOK

[timextoxhajima]

NOO i swear you're not taking any of my time huhu i love talking to you😭😭 tbh i usually have time at nights but i'd rather use them to sleep or watch some tbz content bc my a test every 3 weeks schedule is still going but i have a lot more to do now so i'd usually spent the first 1 weeks with taking as much rests as i can 🥲

and no worries ur not making me feel pressured to reveal myself!!!! im just saying this bc i really wanna be friends w u,, but if i ever leave tumblr then i WILL OFC I WILL TELL U

hehehe yea i love trying new hobbies no matter how bad i may be at them just to find the feeling of joy when i feel like im truly enjoying them, and with writing even when what i write has nothing to do with my thoughts it really help in keeping my minds busy instead of drifting away into bad thoughts🥲🥲 i do video editing too sometimes, photography, but its kinda hard thanks to the pandemic so yeah,,, editing sunwoo video it is for me😭😂 i hope you found ur getaway too!!! or did u already?

I C THE NEW ENHYPEN POST OMG IVE BEEN SEEING THEM A LOT LIKE A WHOLE LOT EVERYWHERE not to mention im also a shawol so i know that ni-ki was one of the shinee kid?? in shinee's japanese concert😭😂 but i havent found the time to know abt the other members yet so--

ANW I RLLY LOVE THAT FOR UU its good that you're getting a lot more comfortable❤️ so does that mean you are currently on a holiday? yea coming back to uni really sucks sometimes i hated it a lot too but these days i've gotten a lot closer to my friends and i miss them so much now that we havent seen each other for months🥲

i'm pretty good! all the preparation has been kinda a lot and my research supervisor has been kinda laterep lately which is making me super anxious most of the time bc i really need to get everything done by august😭😭 but yeah writing has helped me A LOT in shifting my thoughts and making me feel better, i hope i am taking care of myself enough

how about you dana? are you taking care of yourself ? - 🍋🍋

omg just sleep LMAO just fkin sleep it's fine tumblr isn't worth your physical health HAHAHAHHAHA yeah your 3-week test schedule sounds disgustang fam idk how you do it so props to you

omg... tbh photography is a great way to ?? learn about life?? does that make sense lol i started photography in 2013 and now i've shifted more into filming, writing and editing so it was a very nice shift and transition for me. i guess my getaway definitely includes writing fics, i'm on a video production intern right now too so i get to shoot in studios and edit the footage later on. i was supposed to go on a chill photoshoot with a friend but covid said fuck you LMAO but i might get paid to help my freshies do their committee photoshoot at the end of the year so that'll be a blast. i love brainstorming themes for photoshoots and like templating designs - i think i'm an all-rounded creative person, as in into creatives [not boasting about... my creativity] but i definitely love the freedom in expression and i'm starting to realise that i'm picking up every single medium i could possibly utilise to exploit this freedom of expression thing: writing, dancing, filming, photography, creative designs, you name it LOL

yes niki was a shawol!! he went for a tokyo dome concert of shinee's and key hugged him while he cried LMAO he said it was like 2014 or smth which meant that niki was fucken... 9... stanning enha has been a JOURNEY for me because all this while i've been stanning groups that are generally older than me. even with skz jeongin i began to feel a tad awkward because he's younger, and with txt i basically couldn't whole-heartedly stan them because 3/5 of them are younger than me... then you have enha whose maknae is younger than my sister?! like... fam... how... why... am i that old now... omg

yeah i am on holiday! my sem ended in late april and since then i've been pretty much rotting at home, handling my intern projects, writing, learning some choreos for more covers and sobbing over kdramas owo the tissues wasted LMAO i love this break for myself honestly cause the sem was such a shitshow and i lost a friend or two over some nonsense and i had conflict with a couple of others too so while i do miss their nonsense, i really need the time away from these idiots who act like 5 year olds sometimes

omg i hope your supervisor knows not to pressure you too much, like work-life balance is a thing there right... >.>

i'm so happy you're writing that shit out. back before i began to write i felt so suffocated and i can't imagine my life if i didn't go into writing so i'm glad you found this portal to escape, even if it is for a moment!

i'm taking of myself... by keeping myself at home LMAO i haven't seen friends for like... weeks now, which is pretty surprising given the circumstances, because we're not on lockdown and you can still go out in pairs and i've had friends trying to get me out of the house to hang but i'm... so lazy... and frankly just uninterested in a social life now. idk how i shd feel about that, it's like the introvert rlly hopped the fuck out after i spent majority of the past sem acting like an extrovert.

if you consider sleeping at 4am every night taking care of myself then HEY i guess im fit as a pickle HAHAHAHHAHAHAH

#tth.lemonanon

[space-------kid]

can’t keep my hands (off you).

Anime/Manga: One Punch Man Pairing: Garou/fem!Reader Additional pairing/characters: platonic Metal Bat/fem!Reader, Zenko, mentions of other heroes such as Saitama, Watchdog Man, etc. Genre: Romance, comedy Warning: Absolute silliness. Language – Garou and reader both ate rainbows for breakfast. Dumbassery. Teeth-rotting fluff, maybe? Reader is hella strong like Saitama. Half-assed spice because you’re good at cockblocking Garou despite being low-key thirsty for him. And LOTS of dumbassery from the reader, most probably. Additional tag: Dream-based fic, canon-divergent, Garou is horny af A/N: This is supposed to be a lengthy one-shot, but I’m a dumbass who can’t keep my word so the supposedly one-shot isn’t a one shot anymore.  Now I have to worry how I should properly divide all those parts (I mean, they’re already divided, but–) 😅 Happy New Year! *snicker*

You and Garou continue being friends. And he still couldn’t get enough of your thighs, damn it.

Summary:

Your life had its general ups and downs, pros and cons, the good and the bad.

You were admittedly a coward and afraid of being targeted by people for it. Following the advice of your (best) friend you trained hard, like, FUCKING hard, and now you’re blessedly, utterly strong you can take down enemies with just one hit. A good thing, really. Can’t let any bad guy harass you or something.

But-

You were probably cursed with the biggest, baddest of luck. Not only were monsters chasing you, suddenly there was this fucking hot bastard weirdo who kept on calling himself the Hero Hunter. “I’m not a hero, goddamn it!”

i. and ii. | iii. and iv. | v. | vi. | [more to be added]

“i can’t keep my

hands

off…!”

- can’t keep my hands off you/simple plan

vii.

You were acting skittish around him, and not because of his constant teasing.

Garou was secretly thankful that you weren’t stupid like other people despite being such a dumbass sometimes. He liked that you were being straightforward with him, and it was something that he could appreciate at the moment.

He also loved liked the fact that despite coming to terms that he was indeed the wanted Hero Hunter, you never actually banned him from going in and out of your home as he pleased.

“I mean, I really am a dumbass, right?” you were telling him as he watched you cooked dinner for the both of you. Garou had uncharacteristically held off his hero hunting to discuss things with you, and he could see how relieved you were about it.

“You already told me yourself who you are the first time we met and here I am, still surprised that I’m actually letting the Hero Hunter inside my home!” you continued. Your expression turned contrite when you turned to look at him. “B-But that didn’t mean that you’re not allowed here anymore! I’m just too shocked by my sheer dumbassery to actually- a-and you’re just beating heroes up and not killing them, I heard, so… fuck my logic, right? But as long as you’re not outright murdering anyone, I don’t have the right to tell you to stop doing whatever you want with your life, right? I know you don’t need someone telling you that and-“

He shouldn’t even be here in your house right now. He should’ve left the moment you broached the topic about his identity. But just as Garou thought that you would ask him not to return anymore or else you’d call for help (not that you needed it, anyway), here you were: telling him that he was still free to come and go to your home as he pleased.

What kind of a coward would let a wanted criminal to enter their home as they pleased? A dumbass, you said it yourself.

“If you’re scared of telling me to leave, don’t be,” Garou told you insouciantly. “All you gotta do is ask, jeez.”

You shot him a dumbfounded look at quickly shook your head. “Why would I do that?” you asked him, flabbergasted. “I told you already that you’re still allowed here, did I?”

He frowned at you, steadily feeling annoyed by the wary light in your eyes and how it contradicted with your shaky yet genuine words. Could you decide which of the two you would remove off of you already?

“Then decide if you should be scared or sincere already, for fuck’s sake!” he barked at you, making you squeak and nearly drop the ladle you were holding. Garou caught the thing when you threw it at him in retaliation, glaring half-heartedly and pouting at him.

“I AM sincere, you dork! And maybe I’m just feeling scared because I don’t want my best friend to throw me in jail himself or beat you up because he might think that-“

You stopped talking, looking as if you said something that you shouldn’t have and turned your back to him. Garou narrowed his eyes at your behaviour, curiosity gleaming in his golden eyes.

Why did you just suddenly sport that ‘shit I fucked up’ expression?

The self-proclaimed Hero Hunter crossed the distance between the two of you in a few quick strides and corralled you against the kitchen counter, arms caging you between his body and the countertop in front of you. Garou could see your body tense at the proximity, couldn’t stop himself from admiring your exposed skin thanks to your hair tied up in a messy bun and the tank top you were wearing. He was so close, he could practically nuzzle his nose against your neck should he dip his head down to your level-

Nope, not now, though. He had a curiosity to sate at the moment.

“And why would your best friend beat me up, huh? Lock you up in jail?” he questioned, raising a brow at you when you peeked up at him over your shoulder. Garou fought the urge to grin at your flushed face but he wasn’t opposed to the idea of flustering you further.

Wait a damn moment. How did he get from teasing you in hopes of awakening the thing that took over your body to defend yourself TO teasing you just to see how you looked like while blushing?

Oh, right. You and your fucking thighs, Garou answered himself. But back to more current pressing matters….

You looked away again and stuttered a reply.

“B-Because he m-m-might want t-to! C-Can’t anyone do t-that?” was your shitty excuse.

Man, you could really be a dumbass.

Garou leaned his body towards you, his broad chest touching your back. You let out a surprised squeak at the contact, trying but failing not to take notice of the hard planes of his muscles against the fabric of your clothes.

“[Name],” he whispered in your ear. The gasp he elicited from you sounded so good, and Garou could feel his self-control slipping just a tiny bit. He bit back a groan when you pressed your back against his chest in an attempt to push him off of you.

“C-Come on, haven’t you heard o-of citizen’s a-a-arrest or s-something?” you yelled at him indignantly, your voice turning up a pitch higher in your panic. “Bat is just-“

“Bat?” Garou asked you, perplexed. Did he just mishear you, or…? “I thought you said your best friend’s name was Badd?”

You hurriedly turned around to face him and planted your hands on his chest, pushing him away weakly. Garou, however, didn’t budge and kept his questioning gaze on you.

“That’s what I said! Badd!” you lied frantically, eyes shut tight as you continued your feeble attempts. Damn, where was your strength when you needed it?

Too bad for you, Garou was secretly the sharpest tool in the shed. He was quick to pick up on the erratic pitch of your voice and sudden ungainly body language. “He’s a hero, ain’t he? Your best friend?”

“He’s not!”

You could lie all you want, but you’re not fooling him anymore.

Garou should be angry. He really should. After all, being lied to was one of the things he hated the most. But the reason for your deceit was not to harm anyone – he could clearly see that you were hell-bent into uttering a falsehood just so you could protect your (hero) best friend as well as Garou himself. Not that he needed your protection, but-

He almost smiled at the concern you were inadvertently showing him. More so when he heard what you had to say next.

“He’s not!” you lied still. “And what if he is? I-I can’t let my friends beat each other up, you dummy!”

Ah. Garou should have expected that you two were way past being acquaintances with how much he had been frequenting your home and interacting with you. The thought of being friends with you struck a chord in him that had long since fallen asleep ever since he was bullied as a kid.

You might be a dumbass sometimes, but you were still quite welcoming despite all the previous scares and continuous teasing he put you up with. And aside from making it his goal to fluster you (as his stupid teenage hormones commanded him), Garou found the companionship rather… nice. Not that spending time with that kid at the park and reading the Hero Guide Booklet together wasn’t something he wouldn’t call a form of camaraderie. Maybe spending time with someone his age without having a care in the world was something he sort of sought and found in you.

Garou had no qualms being a lone wolf, but he won’t deny that human interaction  – well, aside from beating heroes up, that is – was a nice change of pace in the life he now led as the Hero Hunter.

You were a coward, but you were never judgmental. And that was one of the things he quite liked about you, if truth be told, other than your perfect thighs-

And there went his mind again. He had seen women sexier and much prettier than you, so why were you the only one who piqued this kind of interest on him, the kind that he usually didn’t even bother entertaining?

And you calling him friend right now wasn’t exactly helping-

“Are you gonna beat my best friend up, then? If I tell you he’s a hero?”

Garou blinked at your distressed question and leaned down at you, grabbing your wrists and placing your arms around his shoulders while he grinned at you playfully.

“I don’t even know which of those damned heroes is your friend,” he told you jauntily. “Ah! Maybe the reason why you didn’t tell me is because he’s weak? Scared I’ll beat him to a pulp, [Name]?”

He was just making fun of you, you told yourself. But Garou implying that your best friend wouldn’t hold his own against the silver-haired male pushed you into your protective mode. People could badmouth you all they wanted, but to hell with it if they demean your number one supporter and his little sister!

“How dare you?! Badd is way stronger than me! He can beat you up real easily!” you angrily defended your best friend. Not realizing that Garou was riling you up into telling you who Badd really was, you unwittingly took the bait and could only stop yourself the last second.

“He’ll beat you up and it’ll be a piece of cake for him ‘cause he’s Metal Ba-“

Hurriedly, you stopped yourself and pulled your arms off of him to cover your mouth with your hands. Eyes the size of the moon, you winced when Garou gave you a look as if he’d hit the jackpot.

“Ding, ding! And so she finally tells me who her best friend is,” he tells you in a sing-song manner, grin splitting from ear to ear now. “And what a surprise, he turns out to be S-Class, rank 15!”

The look you gave him was full of annoyance at being one-upped and ire directed at your own folly. You covered your face to muffle the frustrated whine bubbling from your throat and mindlessly shoved your head on his chest.

Caught off guard at your sudden movement, Garou raised his hands but not quite knowing what to do with them. He settled for patting your head with one hand, his ears turning pink when you unconsciously purred(?) like a cat at the action.

“You’re gonna hunt him now, aren’t you?” you asked him, your voice muffled. “You’re gonna hunt Badd, and there’s nothing I could do to stop you from doing so.”

Garou huffed, hand still petting your hair gently. “Yep. Nothin’ you can do about it.”

This was it. Guess he had to cut your friendship short since he didn’t really want to make you choose between some guy you just met recently and the one you call your best friend.

He was the Hero Hunter, and you were a civilian with a pro-hero for a best friend.

What an uncanny arrangement.

You shuffled slightly and craned your neck to look up at him, your eyes wide and imploring. “Can I make a request, though? Like, don’t try to kill Badd, maybe? Since there’s no stopping you from being the Hero Hunter and I can’t exactly dictate you to drop the act…”

Garou gaped at you, face filled with incredulity. Did you just give him the permission to fight your best friend as long as he didn’t commit murder? And did you just imply that you accepted him for who he was?

And it’s as if Garou was actively trying to kill those he beat up

He watched as your eyes filled with awe and admired the way your cheeks turned red when he smiled at you – and a genuine one at that. Garou squished your cheeks with his hands and lowered his face to yours, his smile turning roguish when you blushed harder at the proximity.

“And what if Metal Bat kills me, huh? Don’t you think that’s a bit unfair?” he questioned. “Can’t make a request like that if it’s gonna put me at a disadvantage, y’know. But… I might be willing if-”

One of his hands crept down and poked your thighs with a finger.

“-I get a handful of these?”

Garou dodged, laughing, when you swung a hand up at him for a slap.

“Pervert! Leave my thighs alone, thirsty bastard!”

---

to be continued

#garou x reader #platonic metal bat x reader #garou #garou the hero hunter #garou the human monster #metal bat #badd #opm x reader #one punch man #one punch man season 2

[cassyopeya]

Lonesome.

         That was the word that Maggie had settled on to describe Birch Hills after a week on the property almost completely isolated, save her parents’ wolfdog, Norman, and the ghosts of her grandparents, who seemed to be lurking behind every corner she turned.

         She had come to this conclusion one afternoon, lounging out on the back porch, its wood slightly damp from the rain the night before, staring as Norman rolled around in the fields behind the house. Maggie had left her grandmother’s ghost in the kitchen, watching from afar as she rustled the old faucets around in the big farmhouse sink, a spectral white figure in the dim afternoon light of an overcast November day.

         Lonesome.

         That was the word that flitted through her head as she stood next to her grandfather’s ghost at the edge of the birch grove the house was named after, pondering what she should do with the decrepit fences and fields in the spring when the weather would be better. Her grandfather had always pestered her older brother and cousins to repair it for him, so that he could buy the flock of sheep that he had always wanted. They had never quite gotten around to it, and slowly the wood had begun to rot. The leaves crunched under her boots and her grandfather’s ghost gave her a knowing look, one that read, “Please, Grete, get me my sheep.”

         Lonesome.          That was the immediate thought she’d had after her mother hung up on her, a month after she’d arrived at Birch Hills. They had tentative plans for Christmas, for the whole family to come back home and be together, shaking the loneliness out of the old bones of the house, and giving Maggie slightly more sanity than Norman could provide. Her mother had been confirming their plans, promising the arrival of people into her life again.          “Now, Margaret, we must talk about next year at some point,” her mother had begun, and then the fighting had started. It hadn’t ended until her mother had hung up the phone, cutting Maggie off in the middle of the sentence.          Norman had picked his head up at the noise, and then placed it back onto the hardwood floor, staring straight ahead towards the door. Maggie realized, at that moment, that there are been a point when this had been her biggest fear. That she would be alone, without anyone to keep her company. And now, and now after a month alone, there was something comforting about it. About the quiet that had fallen on Birch Hills when the first flakes of Maine winter fell from the skies onto Maggie’s awaiting tongue and Norman’s wagging tail, her grandparents’ ghosts standing in the open doorway, staring out over the rolling fields of their property.           Lonesome.          That was the churning in Maggie’s chest as she laid awake at night in the dark, warm, alcove of the attic that she had chosen to sleep in. It was a gaping hole in her chest, a cavern filling and emptying with every breath she took. The dog slept at the foot of her bed, and she gazed out of the small window onto the winding road that lead towards town, the only light in miles the light hanging off of the garage wall, flickering as her grandfather’s ghost stared out at the driveway, kicking gravel as he had almost every night when he’d been here, with her.           The sadness in the pit of her stomach sometimes took a concrete form, when she laid in bed at night and thought about calling Wilder and asking him how his semester has been. Thought about reaching out to the person who had known her better than anyone else, who had held her when she’d found out about her grandmother, had wiped the tears off of her face when she dropped him home for the last time. She hadn’t talked to him since she’d arrived at Birch Hills, not necessarily on purpose, but because he hadn’t seemed to ever call her. That was the first seed of loneliness for Maggie, before it had blossomed into a beautiful bloom of lonesomeness. The kernel planted when Wilder didn’t call her, didn’t text her back as often as he once had.          Lonesome.          Maggie had written the text that she sent to Wilder a million times before she actually sent it, telling him that she was at Birch Hills, and that she felt at peace in the loneliness. She’d debated the medium through which she should send it, wondering if an email or voicemail would be better than a text. But, in the end, she had settled on a text.          She had sat at the kitchen table, the entire room glowing in a yellow light as she stared at her phone, the stairs creaking under the weight of her grandfather’s ethereal feet, composing her text again and again and again.          “hey wilder, its me. im alone at birch hills. ive been thinking a lot about you. i miss you and i love you. please text me back.”          That was what she had settled on, after half an hour. He hadn’t responded when she went to bed that night, trying not to think of the lack of notifications on her phone. The whole house seemed gray and empty, larger than it ever had before. Six weeks alone, six weeks into her self-imposed isolation, and she felt as though she hadn’t made any progress. The only thing that Maggie had made progress on, it seemed, was by identifying the swirling black whirlpool of emotion in her gut and labeling it:          Lonesome.          That was the feeling jolted out of her when the doorbell rang, three days before her family was supposed to come up for the holidays. Norman beat her to the door, barking aggressively and wagging his tail, his nails skittering against the hardwood floors as he made a beeline to the front door. Maggie followed, tentatively, pushing a piece of hair that had escaped her bandana behind her ear.          Wilder was standing there, a bag dropped on the step next to him, staring at her in the mid-afternoon December sun, its weak light shining through his auburn hair. He hadn’t texted her back, after she’d sent him that text the week before, and everyday Maggie had assumed the likelihood she ever heard back was decreasing. But, nevertheless, here he was, dressed in green fleece and jeans, a tentative and small smile falling across his lips.          “Hey, Mags, I…”          She didn’t let him finish as she threw herself into his arms, hugging him as though she needed to prove that he was not yet another ghost there to grace Birch Hills. It took him a second, but he wrapped his arms around her, holding her just as tightly as she had held him.          “Can I stay for the holidays?”          Maggie just nodded into his chest, as if she was worried that her vocal cords would betray her, betray the immense relief that had come with not feeling so completely and utterly alone anymore. Maggie let go of him, opening the door and ushering him inside.          And suddenly with Wilder seated at the kitchen table, drinking tea from a mug and grinning as he began to tell her stories of his first semester at school, Birch Hills didn’t gray. Color began to seep back into the room, the pinks and purples in her grandmother’s rose and lilac drapes becoming brighter, the wood furnishings become a warmer tone.          With Wilder there, Birch Hills had begun to thaw.

#writing #my original writing #ik that this sucks ass but #maybe somoene will enjoy it idk #im in a big major rut and have nothing to do bc covid so i'd like to you know #not be in a rut

[valkyrieofthehighfae]

I Lose Myself In You chapter 1

GIF credit goes to anotherficwriter Juice Ortiz X Original Female Character

Description:  Danica Reid is the princess of the Fae Court of Stars. She has to flee her kingdom as the Blood Court attacks, fending off a werewolf and his Fae commander in a vicious attack, leaving her wounded and angry. Her soulmate rescues her in the nick of time and now Danica has to learn how to cope with the loss of her people, her newfound relationship, and band together with four other displaced Fae women to try and take her kingdom back from those who want her dead. Word Count: 1999 Warnings: Violence, mentions of blood and gore, mentions of death, (not so much a warning): soulmate AU, canon divergence A/N: This is definitely major canon divergence, so if you’re not into that or you don’t dig AU’s, please feel free to move along! :)  Join my taglist!

Blood wept down my face from deep gashes that burned and ached, the blood leaving thin golden trails over my left eye and down my cheek, dripping onto the remains of my shredded tank top. The werewolf that had been hunting me since the Witchwood of the Faelands and out into the mortal realm raised his malformed hand to his muzzle, licking the glittery gold blood from his twisted, gnarly claws, a low growl reverberating in the back of his throat. He was studying me, watching my every move to try and find an opening to jump back in and add to the damage he’d already caused. I was swaying in place, woozy from blood loss, but I couldn’t let my guard down, even for a moment.

“Heel boy, heel.” A silvery voice came from the shadows behind the wolf, another Fae stepping out onto the asphalt of the road we were on. He had a vicious smirk on his face as he called off his minion, his sharp, angular features displaying a sadistic glee that I only ever saw those of the Blood Court project. I’d never seen anyone like him before though; his left eye was sealed shut, old scars keeping it that way, while his other bright crimson eye gleamed with a malice that sent a quiver through me. His midnight black hair was neat, worn back in a ponytail with fine wisps of hair framing his pointed face and a pair of rotting wings that reminded me of mud flared out behind him, bones peaking out from between bits of flesh hanging off the frame of the wings. And he was tall, much taller than most Fae males, towering over me even from ten feet away. I shuddered again, wanting nothing more than to get as far away from him as possible.

“Well, well, if it isn’t the princess of the Star Court. Oh, I’m sorry, I guess I mean Queen,” He mockingly bowed with a maniacal grin on his face. “Please excuse me, Your Majesty, I’m afraid you don’t have much of a court to rule over anymore. You’re welcome for that, by the way.” He was clearly pleased with his role in wiping out my family and our people. “There’s quite a handsome reward for bringing you in. My Queen and King will be pleased to see you back in their clutches.”

I watched as he stalked forward, a large dragon bone and obsidian dagger held loosely in his long, thin hand, the blade gleaming in the moonlight. Even from here I could tell that it was razor sharp and if I let him near me with that thing, he’d slice me into ribbons. I’d have to be smart about this; I was already bleeding pretty heavily from my face and torso, deep slashes in my chest, across my belly and dug into my ribs.

“Eat me.” I spat at him, the glob of spittle and blood hitting him in the face and sliding down his cheek onto the lapel of his bright red suit. His smile quickly went sour upon seeing my will to fight was still strong, even after being chased for who knows how long and got my ass kicked ten ways to next week. His anger was going to, hopefully, be his downfall. I just had to make sure I was quicker than he was.

“Tempting really, I’m sure your blood would be sweet and chock full of fear, but alas, I need you somewhat alive to bring back to the Blood Court.” He kept his voice light and breezy, throwing himself towards me, dagger poised to strike. I dove out of the way, hitting the ground and rolling away, gasping in pain as rocks and dirt lodged themselves in my gaping wounds. Moving quicker than I anticipated, he swung down again, the dagger slicing through the back of my shirt like a hot knife through butter, splitting the skin of my spine like it was nothing. More golden blood dripped into the road, the drops and small puddles glimmering in the light of the full moon and I found myself unable to get up, breathing hard against the pain.

“What a shame, I was expecting more of a fight with that attitude of yours.” He laughed loudly, coming closer so he could land a solid kick in my ribs, the force of the kick knocking the wind out of me. He kicked me again, and again, toying with me, taunting me, laughing at how helpless he thought I was. Letting out a pained grunt, I managed to catch his foot as he swung it for another kick, pulling him down to the ground with me.

“Fuck you and fuck the horse you rode in on.” I panted, pushing myself up and started punching down into his face repeatedly, his nose crunching under my fist, his thin lips splitting with each hit I got in. He growled, struggling under me, and managed to get his arm up, thrusting the dagger forward into my left shoulder, twisting it viciously. I shrieked loudly, white hot fire blazing through my entire arm as he continued to twist the dagger around maliciously.

“Fucking bitch!” He was screeching in my ear, fighting back hard to try and get out from under me. He reached up with sharp talons, digging into the gashes on my face left by his precious pet, making sure to dig deeper into my skin while fangs sank into the junction of my neck and right shoulder, digging in as hard as he could. I grabbed hold of his ear, yanking down as hard as possible, getting satisfaction of feeling the skin give way under the pressure of my pulling down. He let go of my shoulder, screaming loudly, his fingers digging in deeper to my face, black blood covering my fingers from his ear. I let go long enough to get the dagger out of my shoulder and attacked his wings with his own weapon, sawing through flesh, muscle, and bone, and tore the appendages from his back.

I couldn’t tell our screams apart anymore, my hearing quickly becoming just a constant ringing, our blood mingling as we scrapped, trying to one up the other person. He was on top of me, talons digging into my throat as he pressed them into my windpipe, effectively strangling me. Darkness began to pull at the edges of my vision, dizziness threatening to pull me down into its depths, when bright lights managed to catch our attention. While he was distracted, I was able to rip his hands off my throat and kick him off of me towards the oncoming lights. I gasped for air as I crawled away, my brain thankful for the sudden onslaught of oxygen I was able to get in.

By this point his pet had fled, abandoning him to whatever fate lay in store for him, which I found rather humorous. “So much for loyalty.” I half laughed, half wheezed, blood bubbling up in my mouth as I lay there on my back, threatening to choke me. As he lunged at me with a crazed look on his face, the car that had been heading our way slammed full force into him, sending him flying into the woods nearby.

“I win.” I managed to gurgle before darkness took me in its hungry grasp, pulling me down into its depths.

~*~*~

Pain was the first thing I felt when I started to regain consciousness, my entire body screaming in agony as I shifted a little so I could try to lift my head to look around and see where the hell I was.

“Shit! Hey, whoa, don’t move.”

I knew that voice; he was my mate’s friend, or one of them anyway. I managed to open my eyes, my left covered with bandages, and saw the blonde, Jax I believed his name was, sitting next to my bed in a chair.

“Hey, you’re okay, you’re safe now. This is a safe place. I’ll be right back, just stay put and don’t try to move.” His voice was calm, soothing almost, and he got to his feet so he could go do something. I took a deep breath, making a slight face at the sterile smell surrounding me, and laid there quietly to wait and see what was happening. I could hear voices coming towards the room and I whimpered a little bit, hurting badly. “Ivar, Tara, she’s up and needs pain meds. She was crying out in her sleep. Can you hook her up with anything?”

I could see Jax speaking softly with a Fae male and a human woman, their faces grim as they were speaking. Another human male came over and sat on the bed with me, careful to not jostle me in anyway, his hand gently resting on mine. He had his hair styled in a mohawk with tribal tattoos flanking it and these beautifully rich, deep chocolatey eyes that were full of concern and relief.

“You’re finally awake,” His voice was soft, kind, and the sound of it immediately comforted me. “Ivar didn’t think you were gonna wake up anytime soon.” His other hand went up to tenderly smooth my hair back out of my face, the gesture a kind one.

“Can I have some water please?” My voice was just barely above a whisper, my throat raw and angry from screaming.

“Yeah, I’ll go get you a cup. Be right back.” He carefully got up and left while this Ivar and the woman came over with some medical equipment.

“Your Highness, I’m Ivar of the Court of Ashes. My mate, Tara, and I are going to get you hooked up to a few IVs so you can get pain medication and rest.” Ivars’ voice was mildly hoarse, a trait of Ashen Fae, and he got to work finding a vein to insert a needle into. I cried out again as they worked and Tara quietly apologized, not wanting to actually hurt me.

“Getting up is going to be next to impossible for a few days, so I’m going to have to insert a catheter, okay? I’ll wait until you’re a little more numb from the medication. Jax, can you keep Juice out of here while I do this please?” Tara kept her voice even and calm and Jax nodded, following Ivar out of the room while Tara got things together to give me this catheter thing. “This is going to be uncomfortable and I am so sorry, I know you’ve already been through enough tonight and I’m honestly not trying to add anymore discomfort to what you’re already experiencing.” She continued as she carefully moved my legs so she could get up in there. Tears ran down my cheeks as she worked and the moment she was done, she poked her head out the door to let them know it was good to come in. Juice was immediately by my side again, sitting carefully so he wouldn’t jostle my IV lines or any of my body parts, and tenderly wiped my tears away with a tissue, pain on his face as he took in my battered and bruised up appearance.

“I’m staying here tonight with her. I wasn’t there to protect her from that son of a bitch and I’m not letting that happen again.” Juice told Ivar and Tara, his voice firm and defiant. The pair looked at one another, neither of them willing to argue with my mate about whether or not he could stay.

“It’s cool man. I’ll let Clay know what’s going on, don’t worry about coming in tomorrow.” Jax clapped Juice on the shoulder and said his goodbyes. Ivar and Tara followed behind, quietly shutting the door behind them leaving Juice and I alone. I yawned, the pain medication slapping me square across the face, my eyelids growing heavy as sleep pulled me back beneath the waves all over again.

#Juice Ortiz X OFC #Danica Reid #High Fae oc #Sons of anarchy fic #Juice Ortiz #fanfic #soa fanfiction #sons of anarchy #Jax Teller #Tara Knowles #Male High Fae OC #bit of violence #soulmate au

[askmidam]

Interlude IV

“I thought you were against celebrating Thanksgiving,” Michael deadpanned, watching Adam hurry around their kitchen.

“I am,” Adam explained, “Trust me, I am...but I was against the idea of my family until my mom’s family showed up. Them being here, it brings me closer to her.”

Michael smiled softly, just nodding, “What can I do to help?”

“Uh…” Adam trailed off, thinking, “We’re making pies, my grandfather is doing the turkey and stuff at home, it’s always been a tradition that he did that. Joy and Martin are coming too, since they don’t really have their parents anymore...most of my friends are coming, actually, except Jared.”

Michael swallowed, “I am still trying to locate him.”

“I know, you’re doing your best,” Adam smiled, kissing him on the cheek as he walked passed, making the guilt in Michael’s chest swarm around a little more.

“So who all is coming?” Michael changed the subject quickly.

“My grandpa, my grandma, my Uncle Keith, my Aunt Ellie, my two cousins, Lorie and Lorna, Lorna’s boyfriend, Mark, Lorie’s girlfriend, Elena…” Adam trailed off, trying to think, “Like I said, Martin, Joy, Ryka...Dawson,” he added, clearing his throat.

Michael tensed slightly, but didn’t say anything. Adam seemed stressed enough, he didn’t need Michael’s weird stomach feeling bothering him about Dawson.

“This will be good for you,” Michael said quietly, “Having a good family around.”

Adam smiled softly, finally stopping his running around for a minute and wrapped his arms around Michael’s neck, “My family is you...you’re the one who’s been in my life and been there for me the longest, Mike.”

Michael leaned down, pressing his lips against Adam’s.

Adam pulled away after a few seconds, “Okay, no distracting me, help me with this pie crust, halo.”

                                                        …

Dawson arrived first.

Of course he did.

Well, technically he arrived with Ryka, but that was beside the point.

He was still the first person to walk through the door, carrying a bowl of what Michael considered to look like chunks of blood.

Adam explained it was cranberry sauce and needed to go in the fridge until they ate.

Dawson sat on the couch like he owned the place and it annoyed Michael to no end as he sat there watching the “football” and drinking a beer.

“Two’s his limit,” Ryka explained as she helped Adam in the kitchen, “I’m putting him on a limit.”

“Joy said he had a problem with alcohol after…” Adam trailed off.

“It’s not your fault,” Ryka said quickly, “At all. Don’t think it is. People deal with grief in different ways.”

Adam just swallowed, nodding. He smiled at Michael weakly, where he was hovering in the doorway between the kitchen and living room, watching Dawson, “Hey, Mike, I’m pretty sure my granddad just pulled in, wanna help me carry some stuff inside?”

“Yes,” Michael said immediately, following him out the side door.

                                                     …

“Adam!” his grandfather, Kate’s father, James, called, waving as he stood beside his grandmother, Katherine, “Bring you and your muscles over here, we need some help.”

Adam chuckled, walking over with Michael, “Granddad, Grandma, this is my boyfriend, Michael.”

Boyfriend.

Michael had never thought of himself as a boyfriend before.

Of course, he and Adam were together. They’d been together for a thousand years but now they were together romantically by human standards.

He was a boyfriend. 

Adam was his boyfriend.

“Well, good to meet you, Mike,” Katherine patted him on the arm.

“You the one who has been taking care of our boy?” James asked.

“Yes, sir,” Michael nodded, “I will do so everyday of my life.”

“He’s, uh…” Adam trailed off when he saw James and Katherine staring at him, “Formal.”

“Ah,” James nodded, “Mormon, then.”

Adam covered up his laughter with a cough.

Michael mouthed the word mormon in confusion but was quickly cut off by James shoving a huge pan into his arms.

“Take that on inside for me, Mike,” James clapped him on the shoulder, “I need to talk to Adam for a minute alone.”

Michael stared at Adam for a moment who nodded in encouragement, a smile on his face. He smiled back before turning and going inside the house, looking over his shoulder a few times as he did. 

When he looked back, James had pulled Adam into a tight hug.

                                                              …

“My boy,” James said quietly, hugging Adam tightly.

Adam hugged him back, not saying anything. His grandparents had always lived too far away to be there for him when he was younger and his mom was working all the time, but they were still his grandparents, the only ones he had ever even met. He got to spend summers with them every year with Martin and Joy sometimes tagging along, it was always so peaceful with them.

“That man who took you is lucky they can’t find him,” James said, pulling away and touching the side of Adam’s face, “I’d kill the son of a bitch myself.”

Oh yeah.

The cover story.

The lie.

Adam smiled softly, “Don’t worry, grandpa, Michael is protecting me...and I’m pretty good at protecting myself.”

“Let’s not get so serious so quick,” Katherine said quickly, pulling Adam into a hug as well, “It’s a happy day, we’re all together again.”

Adam smiled, hugging her back just as tightly.

“So,” Katherine pulled away, her hands on his shoulders, “Tell me about Michael.”

                                                           …

“Stop spying,” Joy elbowed Michael, having snuck up on him.

Michael glared at them, seeing Martin standing beside his cousin, hands stuffed in his pockets.

“It’s his grandparents, we used to stay with them every summer when we were younger, chill, angel boy,” Martin rolled his eyes, “Come help us set up the table.”

Michael huffed and followed them.

“Not like they’re from the damn Visit or anything,” Martin scoffed.

“What is the Visit?” Michael looked confused, following after the cousins.

                                                           …

“Here, Mike, sit by me,” Adam said quickly, grabbing his hand and pulling him down to sit at the table with him.

Michael smiled softly, continuing to hold his hand under the table.

“Should we...say a prayer-” James started.

“Nope,” Adam said quickly, causing everyone to look up at him, “Everyone dig in.”

Everyone went silent.

“What?” Adam asked, “Our house, our rules.”

“I’m an atheist anyways,” Lorie shrugged, starting to eat as well.

Michael went to say something, but thought better of it.

“Good enough for me, let’s dig in,” Adam’s uncle, Keith, said simply.

                                                       …

“What are they doing?” Michael peered out the window.

“Football,” Martin said simply, wincing when Joy tackled Adam to the ground, “Joy always wins.”

“He won’t be hurt, will he?” Michael asked quickly.

“Well, you can just heal him if he does, right, angel?” Martin asked, taking a long drink of beer.

Michael narrowed his eyes, “I sense you have a problem.”

“Yeah, no shit,” Martin scoffed, “Dude, you’re an angel of the lord and you’re banging my best friend. This group doesn’t have the best experiences with God and stuff, because he hasn’t been helping us out much.”

“Yes, well, my Father never helped me out much either,” Michael snapped, continuing to watch out the window. He quickly leaned down and picked up Aira when she brushed against his legs, holding her close to his chest.

“He left Adam and I to rot in Hell for ten human years,” Michael told Martin softly, petting Aira’s head, “I have lost faith in him as well, you aren’t alone there.”

Martin stayed silent.

“And I am not banging Adam, we are boyfriends,” Michael added, “And I love him very much.”

And maybe he said it just a little louder, knowing Dawson was helping clean up in the kitchen.

But it made the weird feeling in his stomach feel a little better.

                                                           …

Adam closed the door once the last of his family left, letting out a sigh of relief. He rested his forehead on the cool door for a moment, finally letting out a breath he didn’t know he was really holding.

It had actually went well.

He felt a familiar pair of arms wrap around his waist and he sighed again, leaning back against Michael.

“I am happy you were happy with your family,” Michael told him softly, pressing a kiss to the side of his head.

Adam relaxed a little, “Me too...it was actually nice. They loved you too.”

“I’m glad,” Michael added, “But I am tired and would like to head up to bed. Will you join me?”

“Yeah,” Adam nodded, “Yeah, I will, Mike.”

                                                              …

Adam’s family’s FCs, they’ll be added to the character page tomorrow probably:

Cloris Leachman - Adam’s grandmother, Katherine Scott Glenn - Adam’s grandfather, James Kellan Lutz - Adam’s uncle (Kate’s younger brother), Keith Rebecca Ferguson - Adam’s aunt, Ellie Dakota Fanning - Adam’s cousin, Lorie Diana Silvers - Lorie’s girlfriend, Elena Elle Fanning - Adam’s cousin, Lorna Beau Mirchoff - Lorna’s boyfriend, Mark

#cutscene;

[mountphoenixrp]

We have a new citizen in Mount Phoenix:

                                                 Set, the God of Chaos,                                             whose origins stem from Ancient Egypt.                                                 He is now a City Council Member                                                    and the owner of Rip n Rage.

FC NAME/GROUP: leo / vixx GOD NAME: set PANTHEON:  egyptian OCCUPATION: city council for egyptian pantheon / owner of rip n rage HEIGHT: 6’2” DEFINING FEATURES:

set has multitudes of scars all across him that vary in shape and size, some with stories behind them and some without

tattoos cover his body, primarily across his arms and chest area, although he holds the ability to shift them to new ones or negate them from his skin completely

his eyes are naturally a simmering gold, but brighten to a more fiery orange color when he uses his abilities

a heavy burn mark in the shape of a scorpion has scarred the inside of his left forearm, something he refuses to discuss the meaning behind to most he comes across

PERSONALITY: set is a troublemaker above everything. his entire existence, after all, is to create chaos and strife. regardless of his approach to you, whether friendly or otherwise, it should be known that there is almost always an ulterior motive. set is not without his inner thoughts, and has a tendency to use his silver tongue to rope one into a contract before they even realize it ― a contract he seldom ever adheres to.

however, even despite his wishy-washy behavior he is not one to be trifled with. set is equally cunning and intelligent as he is strong and well attuned with his abilities. years of watching the human population has allowed him to adapt to their ways and learn their weaknesses, utilizing such in whatever he may need. set is always one to play dirty, and was never shy away from doing the work himself.

still, set is not without his faults, however. while he is strong physically and mentally, he has a problem dealing with new threats. he has a tendency that, if he is unable to properly size someone or something up, he will become irrational and tense. this causes him to close up completely, and more often than not, to lash out. he also is not very keen at making friends out of the blue, so you would need to prove yourself “significant” enough to get to know him. when you do, however, you will find he cares for people in a very ‘special’ way so to speak, rather that the longer the relation between you two is, the kinder he will become.

HISTORY:

I. WARMONGER

The last thing Set would have wanted in all of eternity was to end up on some island surrounded by fog that was filled with the sons and daughters of every deity imaginable, including his own.

And other gods. He hated the other gods.

Time had been unkind to the patron of chaos and creation. He once had power, tons of it, and made the very sands of Egypt quake in fear. He watched empires crumble, kings rise and fall, warriors wet the grass and desert with their blood all in the name of everlasting glory. But they were not everlasting. Nothing was.

Still, Set took great pride in the battles fought over the ages. The trickery and malice caused by him was a trophy in a treasure room- a symbol of his power. He enticed mortals, created pacts which he never upheld, and gave leaders their power in return for blood. War became his symbol, and the chaos that followed was his weapon.

He was proud, he was powerful. But most of all, he was feared.

II. DIVINE

He first became worried when warriors, previously accepting of each other, began to quarrel between each other. Diplomatic disagreements had become history, and soon disputes were solved with blades and arrows. Still, his worry was more a pang of uncertainty that simmered down in his belly. They did not prove to be too meddlesome in his affairs, rather quite the opposite. These warriors brought battles and war, something Set was quite fond of, and in one of the few times in his existence, he simply sat back and watched. It was interesting, to say the least.

Egypt had changed overtime, modernizing and expanding. However, time told that these warriors were not fighting to solve national problems, despite what they told the population, but for the throne. This corruption, enticed by Set, ravaged the population, knocking off more people besides the fighters than he could count. Overtime, and despite Set’s efforts, the fighting began to grow out of hand as distrust and malice plagued the minds of everyone, keeping from a single ruler to be found. Despite Set being a sort of overseer in the balance between order and chaos, it was not his exact domain to rule in, and the other gods had already been working frantically in an effort to keep a hold on the civilization that was quickly unraveling before them. The divine beings were losing their grip, and quickly at that, and to add to the mess the idea of a supposed “single supreme god” had been promoted to the egyptian population, causing the gods’ power to diminish greatly.

Quite frankly, Set understood why most of them chose to lose faith in them, and for once in a very long time he was scared.

In fact, Set, the great god of chaos and trickery, was terrified.

III. EVANESCE

It was 1902 when Set officially left Egypt, and renounced his title as one of the gods overseeing it. The Egyptian population, significantly lessened due to war and disease, had given up by now keeping ties with the old religion save for the small loyal stragglers. The gods had dispersed, not telling anyone of their plans and Set was no different. Whether some stayed and tried to reclaim the people’s faith or not, Set was gone. New religion had wiped him away, and instead of praying to Set to end violence and his malicious intent, the people prayed to an everlasting god high above.

Set was small, and he hated the feeling.

Hypothetically “packing up and moving away”, Set began to wander the earth for a new home. Other gods, present in their respective territories, would not have the god of chaos. No one wanted him, and so he instead went to places that he could practice his magic and control temperament on his own terms. These places were different to what he was used to ― Set had grown accustomed to endless deserts and fertile riverbanks, but he found himself in grasslands and looming hills. He became very territorial over his newfound home, especially since, unfortunately, there were very few of them. This caused a rift with other nearby gods, especially those that controlled certain aspects of the territory Set was in, and small scuffles began to break out. Humans would note the skies darkening at random intervals of the day, the smell of rotting wood plaguing the air, and terrible storms appearing and wiping away people and buildings. Overtime, the conflict between Set and the other gods began to completely change the environment, making it go from lush, green, and full of vegetation, to barren, rocky, and without a single tree in sight.

Even Set, not one of the most “caring” individuals on the planet, knew he had to leave.

IV. ASCEND

He was like an infection when not in his natural domain, and this infection would keep spreading into other areas unless Set did something about it. If anything, he didn’t want to piss off an entire legion of divines who were more than happy to defend their realm and join together in utterly obliterating the god of chaos.

So, he chose to find a solution.

Set started inquiring to many beyond, taking on the shape of different vessels as he searched within the human population. More often than not, these people would know nothing about places empty of other gods and cultures, and so Set was left with no answers. However, over time he managed to catch snippets of information regarding a mysterious place home to deities and their children alike, where any being with ancient power housed in their blood could find a home.

Set, although slightly adamant against sharing the same land as others, took this as a blessing and immediately set off to find this island, called “Mount Phoenix”.

He was not disappointed in what he came to discover.

POWERS: set holds the ability to control one’s mental state to varying degrees, although not to the extent of full ‘mind control’, manipulating fears, worries, memories, and emotions to fit his needs. if he pleases, the god of chaos is able to twist someone’s entire view on others as a whole, and even themselves ― making his own truth out of lies is what set does best, and few are able to withstand his charm in the matter. aside from this, he is able to induce anxiety and even to the extent of insanity if he’d like ― set likes to ‘play with his food’ so to speak, and while he very easily can cause one’s mind to snap, he normally reserves it to be the very last of punishments.

alternatively, set’s passive ability is a subset of his main ones ― those that stand near to him for whatever length of time will begin to feel uneasy, the urge to ‘act up’ filling their veins they can’t seem to kick. the longer one is with him, the more those feelings multiply ― either until they act on the wantings or go insane trying otherwise. while it is passive, set does have some control when it is related to varying levels of intensity, mostly for when he needs to have a serious moment with someone else (that of which is few and far between).

STRENGTHS:

set, innately, is a master manipulator and warrior and over the centuries his abilities have become incredibly strong. the majority are unable to resist his temptations and influence, particularly preying upon the mortal side of demigods that is more easily influenced by his chaos.

if panicked or in a state of urgency, set can ‘overload’ his abilities in a wave of sorts around him ― this effectively destroys the mental state of those within a 20 foot radius, leaving them either entirely insane or in some circumstances, entirely brain dead

in the event that he simply would like to watch and not be directly involved, set can somewhat ‘negate’ himself out of a situation and cause his presence to be entirely ignored. this is particularly useful when there are large fights occurring and he would simply like be entertained, something set often indulges in one way or another.

WEAKNESSES:

when set negates himself from a situation and someone/something outside or within of the conflict causes him to be dragged directly into the chaos, then there can be trouble and the suspicions may be turned on him easily.

when set uses his abilities on more than one person it involves varying levels of focus. doing such upon one person is easy ― almost like breathing to him. however, with groups of 5-10 he must be very focused and have all his attention on those people.

when using his abilities, he must be very careful when it comes to other deities and their reactions, especially considering what they might do if they attack him. asides that, set’s powers are heavily diminished against rather ‘holy’ and ‘innocent’ gods and demigods ― it is difficult, if not impossible, to garner chaos out of something that barely has traces of it within them.

#kpop rp #krp #vixx #jung taekwoon #vixx leo #mp; welcome

[snapshotxdelrusso]

blown up cheeks and dark eyes || sebco

Who: @fabsmythe & @snapshotxdelrusso

What: Sebastian and Franco get coffee but have to leave for the estate.

When: 21st January 2020

Where: Coffee shop and the Smythe Estate

TW: Abuse

Franco was scared. Like not even a little bit scared but so unbelievably scared he'd nearly cancelled. He sat down at the small coffee shop, head dipped to hide his injuries. The cut on his forehead looked feirce, the bruised jaw purple to match his eyes from the broken nose. He clutched his ribs, the walk a little too much for him

Sebastian took his usual precautions. He moved with two separate cars. One as a distraction for the paparazzi and one with the real Sebastian in it. His green eyes followed the decoy and a car chased after it so obviously. It took over an hour for him to arrive by natural LA traffic and the extent of his security forces. All it takes is one slip up and his world would be a PR toilet bowl. He walked into the small shop with a hood over his face. He asked his security force to order him his usual as he looked for some handsome looking. Instead he took one glance at the other delegated himself until he realized that was who he was meeting. Sebastian slipped in the chair. “I didn’t know such a handsome mug needed an ice latte that much.” Sebastian was thrown off. His green eyes examined the gashes and the scared and the hurt look. “Do you need to go to the hospital discretely?” Sebastian asked.

Franco watched as the other approaches and he gulped, why was he doing this, leaving himself alone with a guy like this?. He shook his head at the question, playing with his fingers having been to scared to order his own coffee. He shook his head at the question, "I only just got out of hospital last week" he said, "This hasn't just happened"

Sebastian was careful to look at the other as if there were nothing wrong with him. This was surprisingly easy since he did it so many years ago. Rather than scares and gashes, it was mostly breathing rubes, IVs and other various depressing things. His pressed his lips together. His wild green eyes bore into the other with wide curiosity and a reflection of softness. This is what he did whenever he was facing somebody whose was posed with telling of nasty and depressing details. Sebastian would listen if he wanted to speak further about the incident. He wouldn't dare ask the questions though. He knew the anxiety it caused whenever people asked what is wrong. Sometimes, it was this soft communication that people needed. Sebastian reached out his hand and let his long fingers slide into the crook of the male's sleeve. Sebastian was gay, but there was no use in thinking every other male out there was. Plus, this would bring less attention to the to. The security guard came up and placed Sebastian's order on the table. "Would you like anything to drink?" Sebastian said coolly. "Zeke will get it for you."

Franco looked at the hand now on his sleeve and placed his other hand over it, showing it was OK even if he was terrified. He nodded at the question, "Can I get a black coffee" he spoke as he calmed his breathing. He waited for the other to walk away and he sighed, "I was, I've been... My ex beat the shit out of me" he said in a whisper, "I only got out of hospital last week".

Sebastian nodded at Zeke and the large man stalked away to go fulfill the request. Sebastian turned his attention back to him. What was a hole that was filled with sorrow and compassion for the other suddenly pivoted into a wild amount of rage, fear and a bit of surprised. To this, Sebastian almost lifted his hand away from the other in shock. Instead, Sebastian moved so that both his hands covered Franco and Sebastian listened for more. Domestic violence was a common subject that surrounded him. After a friend personally experienced it first hand, Sebastian really didn't know what to then, or now. All he knew is that he could listen and comfort. "Where is your ex now?" He said in a soft tone. He was hoping that his eyes didn't automatically give away his outrage at hearing this type of news.

Franco looked to the table before looking up, the true pain and sadness in his eyes, "He's in jail" he admitted, "He'd been abusing me for about a year and then he found out I was moving to LA so he held me hostage and used violence to convince me otherwise. The whole relationship, I was only in it cause he threatened to fire me" he spoke without being able to stop himself

Listening to the word vomit, Sebastian's nails wracked against Franco's skin. It was unintentional, but Sebastian kept his focus on the other. After he finished, Sebastian didn't really know what to say. Rather than speaking, he decided to move his chair a little bit closed and wrap his arms around him in a gentle hug so that he wouldn't be hurt by Sebastian's movement. "If you ever need somewhere to be..." Sebastian started. "The Smythe estate is open to you. And I'm here for you now." He barely knew Franco. He only knew him threw his work and that's what originally attracted Sebastian to meet him. However, there might have been something floating around that the photographer had been acting odd lately. Then again, everybody famous acted in odd ways in general. Sebastian kept an arm on the other's back as a source for comfort. He gently started to rub his back gently, something his mother did when Sebastian was young. As for the news of where his ex currently was, there was a bit of relief from Sebastian. He hoped that man stayed there and rotted for acting against somebody else in that way. Sebastian's mine blinked as he thought about his general industry trivia. Did he know Franco's ex? Was he also somebody with power like he and Franco had. Sebastian couldn't remember. But that would be something he could ask later.

Franco had to take a deep breath at the touch and he closed his eyes, "I have broken ribs too" he whispered, "I think every inch of my torso is bruised or cut or something". He sighed and held his head up a little higher as he looked to Sebastian's eyes, "Thank you. My friend here got me a place and sorted everything for me. We are in the same business and she sorted me a job as well". As he cleared his throat his coffee came over and he held it to his cold hands, "His name was Jake Weiss, he was the manager at the firm I worked for in New York. He used to cut all my shoot short cause he'd want me home and I could't argue it".

Sebastian looked up as Zeke put down the coffee and then left to go rest at a nearby table. It was how he was trained to be discrete while watching over Sebastian. He continued to listen, taking little sips of his own drink. Sebastian was calmed now so that he could relax a bit. However, he kept his hand on Franco's back. His lips stiffened, with words on the tip. However, he wanted to hear all of it and focus on listening rather than responding. Personally, Sebastian couldn't imagine the situation he was in. Jake Weiss. The name was enough to spark memories. Oh the anger. Sebastian didn't particularly used the firm. There was really no reason for him too because he had all his own things here in LA. However, how many times did he see the bastard and never suspected a thing. He breathed out his frustration and continued to concentrate on the other, keeping his comfort hand on Franco's back.

Franco finally relaxed into the hand a little, wanting to have a friend here in LA. He saw the slight change and he cleared his throat, "Do you know Jake?" he asked as he sipped his coffee, "He told me he liked me and if I didn't return the feelings I'd be sacked. It only took him like 4 weeks before he started to hurt me. I was with him for about a year, fresh out of university... He... I... He didn't want me to come to LA, he wanted me for himself and now I have to have this stupid fucking mashed up face cause I decided to leave"

"I never personally contacted him. We had a bit of a bid on who would shoot some of my lines over in New York." Sebastian confessed. "But, we decided on somebody else." He didn't want to dwell on it or take away attention from him. "You're brave." This was the first words out of Sebastian's mouth that weren't carefully calculated. He snorted as he gave the other a grin. He went back to his controlled, carefully thought out words. "You did the right thing for yourself. I'm proud of you. And hey, I can see that handsome mug of yours." His eyebrows lifted and he gave Franco a sideways grin. He was hoping that he was coming off friendly enough to the other. "I'm dearly sorry to hear these things." Sebastian thought about a question that was looming on his mind. "What is going to come in the next coming months?"

"Yeah well I'm surprised he didn't bid the highest. He was always about the money and buying my silence. I'm glad you didn't use him, he would have sent me then cut the contract early". Franco scoffed, "I don't feel very brave. Brave would have fought back and I never did, I just took the hits and hoped one day they would stop" he admitted, his gaze dropping again, ashamed of how he had acted when he could have done so much more, "Not that handsome, not even under these scars". Franco shrugged, "My new boss is limiting my work load and all shoots have to go through him until I am fully healed but honestly, I'm absolutely terrified of being in the same room as him."

Sebastian pressed his lips together. He was personally glad he didn't use the company since this piece of news was extremely disturbing. Of course, there was nothing that was going to block this sort of thing from happening. It was unfortunate he could only react to it now. "Being brave isn't about standing up." Sebastian started. "Sometimes, things just happen. And it's about doing the best we can. Being brave isn't about a lack of fear, but about the fear that's present and how you react to it. And more times than usual, returning the violence could've had other unwanted outcomes." Sebastian shifted his hand so that he was back to holding the others hand again. It was probably hard for the other to imagine somebody like Sebastian who could come off as superficial to appreciate little things. Like the other's eyes and impressive figure. "Trust me, I've seen some uglies out there, and you're not one of them." "I have some connections." Sebastian told him. "If needed, I can pull some strings and I can put some research to backing up your current position and make sure that he can never touch you again."

"But if I was brave, I would have just let him fire me, let him just not have me to start with" he whispered as Sebastian held his hand. He looked at their hands and his breath hitched, "He never did that, held my hand or anything. He was... He had moments but he just was so possessive". He shook his head, "It's because I'm injured, he wants me to take it easy".

Sebastian was a bit lost for words. "It wasn't your fault..." Sebastian told him. People were desperate in this industry. Unfortunately, it comes at a huge cost. He took in a deep breathe. "He abused his power and he abused you too." It wasn't that easy, Sebastian knew this. But all he had was his words now and the warmth he could give. At the signal, Sebastian rubbed his smooth skin. Sure there were some rough spots, but it didn't matter. Personally, Sebastian loved the rough feel. It was different from his own terrible skin. Sebastian felt an overwhelming urge to tell and show the other that he did deserve it. He doesn't know why. He gave the other a grin. "I'm glad." Sebastian replied.

"It was though" he said, finally letting his voice crack that little bit, "I could have taken my skills any where, gone somewhere small fry and worked my way up but I just wanted to the best for once in my life". He looked at the coffee as he sniffled a little, "I wondered so many times if my greed meant I deserved this". When the other started to rub over his hand he watched it mesmerized and it was like he had a flashback. Jake was sitting on the couch, finishing his beer and holding Franco's hand and he squeezed hard making his ring dig into him.

Sebastian was about to say something when there was a wave from Zeke. Sebastian's lips flatten. This wasn't good. At least, for the moment they were in. Sebastian's green eyes followed him and he gave a signal. Somebody had spotted him. Sebastian glanced up to see his reflection in the painting next to him. He looked over at Franco. This was the price of fame. Plus, it seemed like the man was at his limits and Sebastian didn't want him crying in such a public area. "Maybe we can move to my estate?" Sebastian whispered. "It would be less public." He suggested gently.

Franco was pulled out of his thought and he jumped away, "I can't" he said wide eyed, "I can't be alone with anyone" spoke, fear ripping through him.

Sebastian presses his lips together. He needed to move and so did Franco for his own good. Quickly he wrote his number down on a napkin and handed it over. It was reckless. This was Sebastian private unmonitored line. Franco could sell these nine digits for a lot of money. “I’m sorry.” Sebastian told him. “I think I was the one that spoiled the party this time. But please let’s meet again?” Sebastian looked on to him. “Maybe by central where there is little people around?” Sebastian didn’t understand but he would have to go along. Franco was scared and Sebastian wasn’t going to force him to do anything.

Franco took the number and he sighed, "Fine I'll come" he said, not wanting to be left alone in the cafe either, "Please. I can't stay here alone either" he spoke as he saw Jake's face in his mind the whole time, desperate for others company, even if he was shaking like a leaf

Naturally, Sebastian took his hand. As soon as he walked outside, Sebastian shotted the photo camera and he held up his middle finger. He covered his face with his hoodie and guided the other into the alley where they got into the large black car. "Sorry for the hassle." Sebastian played as he breathed. He commanded that the driver drive them around. "You want to find somewhere else then?"

Franco hated the cameras especially now he looked the way he did, "We can go wherever, just I don't want cameras in my face" he whispered to the other

"There is an apartment complex around here with a park. You want to go there?" Sebastian asked. "It's mostly deserted."

"We can go to yours" he whispered, looking at his hands, "I just need to go somewhere please"

Sebastian leaned forward an pulled a bottle of water out of one of the stashes he had and handed it over. "The estate please. Tell Jen to cancel the rest of my appointments today." He said into a speaker. He thought about what to say on the ride. "Have you planned on what you're going to do in LA after you heal up?" Sebastian asked him

Franco took the water but he didn't drink it, he toyed with the label as he sat in the car, eyes fixed on his hands, "I have a job already I'm just not allowed to work right now"

Sebastian grinned. "As for places to explore." Sebastian took his own water and took a swing. "What you want to see and what you want to do. You're lucky you were relocated to somewhere like Oklahoma or Lima, Ohio."

Franco sighed, "I wasn't relocated. I'd been trying for months to get a  place here and Sydney finally finalised it all before Christmas"

"Well, good, at least you have good taste. So, why LA?"

Franco sighed, "It was the only place I had a contact who could get me away from him"

"You picked a good place. We have music, festivals, everything." Sebastian noted that they finally got to the gates of the Smythe estate and it's vast stretches.

Franco looked at the area around and he nodded, "Yeah I won't be going to any festivals any time soon" he said with a nod, "Can barely go get coffee"

"You'd be surprised about what can get accomplished." Sebastian rolled down the window to feel the breeze on the long wind up to the house. "Normally people are on something or not paying attention. It's easier than going to get coffee, trust me."

Franco shook his head, "It's not that. My confidence got knocked real bad this past year and I am a shell of the person I once was"

“Who moves to a new town and not reinvent themselves.” Sebastian mused with a large grin. The car pulled up and Sebastian waited for the man to come open his door. Sebastian stepped out and nodded to the large doors. As he approached, the doors opened automatically. “Welcome to the Estate. Please come in.”

Franco followed the other into the estate and his eyes widened, "Wow, this is incredible" he whispered

Sebastian's lips grin widely, as if proud by the other's statement. He didn't buy the house, but eventually he had his own stash of money to contribute to the family wealth. Sebastian moved into one of the wide guest rooms where lavish couch sat. "We can relax in here if you'd like."

Franco followed and nodded, "I don't think I have ever seen something like this" he whispered

Sebastian sat on his favorite space on the couch and kicked off his shoes. "Oh? Would you like a tour then?" He asked politely as he crossed his legs over.

Franco shook his head, "It's fine, I need a sit down" he spoke as he gently held his ribs

Sebastian nodded and then held out his hand to signal that he was welcome anywhere. "Don't over extort yourself. You can always get a tour later. Would you like to... possibly tell me more?"

Franco tilted his head, "What else would you like to know? I'm not ashamed about what happened. I can answer any questions"

"I just want to know about court and if he has officially been sentenced to prison." Sebastian wondered. "It took a lot of courage to come here with me. Since I am practically a stranger."

"Well he is going through trial in New York at the moment but being held in custody due to the risk" he spoke, "My face is only half of what he did to me". He took a deep breath and he he looked around, "Better then being left in the city on my own"

Sebastian crossed his legs and watched his foot bounce. "What's the wreckage."

Franco sighed and nodded, "Easier to show you" he said with a nod and he lifted his t-shirt other his head, revealing his bruised and cut body

There had been a lot of nastiness Sebastian had seen. Especially whenever his bloody sickness had taken over his body. He use to think as a child that the only fluid that can flow out of you as blood, but that was contested after his battle with cancer. "And how did he do that?" Sebastian asked. Without realizing his actions, Sebastian reached out and gently touched one of the marks.

Franco watched Sebastian's hand but he didn't back away, "He was trying to convince me to not leave for LA. Brute force was the only thing he knew"

Sebastian's soft green eyes mulled over the bruises. He could imagine the fist being thrown or the kicking that could've happened. He waited for more information as his fingers felt over the rough edges and moved on to other cuts, even some of the stitches.

"He thought the best thing for me was to keep me locked up in the apartment, to show me that he can make sure I won't go anywhere" he spoke softly as Sebastian trailed a hand over his wounds, "He told me so many times this is what I deserved”

The fluster of emotions that washed over him almost bubbled as Franco went on. He continued to look on the other, listening carefully as if it were the most important thing in the world. "He was wrong." Sebastian said eventually. It was the only thing he thought to utter.

Franco sighed, "I didn't even wanna be with him to start with but he was gunna fire me" he spoke, "He would treat me shit and then tell me he loved me, like this is what you do to those you love".

Sebastian pressed his lips together as he green eyes went to the other's face. There was a bit of intimacy in this moment. He had scares of his own, where his liver was partially removed from his surgery, his perfect body tainted and scared for life. He leaned in and moved to put down Franco's shirt. And moved so that he was lightly leaning on the other, moving to a more cuddling position. "Wrong." He said softly

Franco didn't turn the actions down, and he moved to cuddle the other, "I know it's too much for some people. I'm sorry if I make you comfortable" he whispered

Sebastian pressed his lips together. Surprisingly, he was softer than most people imagined. To the tabloids, he always would show them his clever wits and his snarky attitude to show the world he didn't care. "I'm here for you." He told the other as he wrapped his arms around him. "I'm sad, angry, and frustrated." Sebastian confessed. "But I'll help you in anyway you need." He closed his green eyes and settled into the position with the other.

Franco let the other hold him, even if his body screamed not to and he took a deep breath, "I said I wouldn't get close to anyone here. I'm scared to get close" he whispered against his better judgement

Sebastian nodded against Franco's head with his eyes closed. He really didn't know how to respond. Whenever he heard this statement, it was a different reason. "That's impossible you know." He finally said. "You'll turn yourself insane."

Franco took a moment as he felt the other and he had to beg himself not to crumble, "What if the next person hurts me again?"

"What if you died and you left that person behind?" Sebastian asked suddenly. He didn't mean too in the moment, but it was at the front of his brain.

Franco furrowed his brows, "See another reason to not let myself get close" he said with a shrug.

Sebastian smiled at the thought. “There really isn’t a reason in that. Then you’d just die lonely.”

"Would you wanna be happy with that if you'd been through this?" He asked, "No one is even gunna wanna look at this face or like kiss me"

“It doesn’t seem like it now but it’ll get better. And handsome, what if I said I wanted to kiss you.” Sebastian puckered his lips and placed them square on a soft part of Francos forehead.

Franco closed his eyes and he looked at the other, "You wanna kiss me" he shivered at the gentle touch to his head

Sebastian puckered his lips again into a kissing motion and winked. A flirtatious smile blossomed out of the kissy face. He leaned back and sunk into the soft couch and moved his hand so that he was holding Franco's. His green eyes were heavy and he shut his eyes. "Of course. I never lie."

Franco took a deep breath as he watched the over and he looked at him, "You don't think I'm some lame ass dude who gave up?"

"I think that maybe..." Sebastian started. He took in a deep breathe, calculating his answer. "It's okay to give up as long as it's not forever."

Franco nodded, "You don't think I gave up? Let him win?"

"Does being here mean anything to you?" Sebastian asked.

Franco shrugged his shoulders, "I think being here was the only brave thing I did"

"It's a start though right?"

"I'm sorry" he whispered, "I'm sorry I'm dragging you down"

"What do you mean?" Sebastian asked. "It takes a lot to drag me down."

"I'm being so negative and you've been nothing but kind to me"

"I'll restate myself only once for you, it takes a lot to bring me down."

Franco nodded and took a deep breath, "OK, thank you for letting me here today"

"You're always welcome." Sebastian told the other. "I gave you my number. You just have to call to make sure I'm here though."

"I meant today. I erm, with my face the way it is, I'm glad you didn't run"

Sebastian's lips curled. "You didn't seem that bad. I was a bit surprised though. I'm not going to lie." He half heartily joked. It was then did Sebastian realize that Princess had strolled into the room. The large white Maine Coone cat bounced onto the coffee table before them and looked up at the two of them with her giant blue eyes. Her large lioness body made her almost as big as a medium sized dog. "Now if you crossed her in an alley way, I would suggest crossing to the other side."

Franco dipped his head, "Yeah a lot of people have the same reaction when they see my face" he said with a nod, "And then you see the look of pity" he spoke as the cat came in the room, "She's freaking huge"

"She's a maine coon." Sebastian patted the seat next to him. On command, she leaped from the lavish coffee table to the soft couch and came over to Sebastian. "Also old. She's almost 13 years." He told him in a matter of fact tone. Princess showed her belly but flipping over and pawing at Sebastian's hand. He buried it deep in her fur. "I was more or less scared that you were in danger."

Franco watched the cat move around and he smiled at the actions, it was a cute cat, he would say that, "She's looking good for her age" he said with a nod. He listened to the last part, "No danger unless he wins at trial then lots of danger cause he knew where I was coming"

Sebastian swallowed. He had his fair amount of stalkers over the years and even though he's taken legal actions, they were hard to shake. "Do you know exactly what he knows?" Sebastian asked.

Franco sighed, "He pretty much knew everything down to the address. He found all my paperwork when he ripped the apartment apart"

Sebastian tilted his head. "That's difficult. Have you made arrangements to move again?"

Franco shook his head and let out a small scoff, "I haven't had chance to think about it. The company have promised me security if he decides to come after me"

"Sounds like a bridge down the road." Sebastian commented. As he was talking about this, Sebastian felt his stomach lurch and gargle. He loafed over his head lazily. "Oh, the inconveniences of the body. I don't want to get up." He confessed as he held one hand holding Franco's and one hand on his overly large cat.

Franco nodded, "I just have to hope the courts can see that what he did was bad and that he didn't bribe people" he said with a shrug, "You wanna order some food in or something?"

"It'll end one day Franco. Maybe we can hope for the conviction to stick." Sebastian clicked his teeth as he moved his hand off his cat. Instantly, Princess pawed for it back but Sebastian fought against her wants and pulled out his phone. "What do you want? I think we have steak in the fridge."

Franco looked at the other and he shrugged his shoulder's, "I don't really know, I hadn't thought much past lunch and that was hours ago" he laughed.

Sebastian sat there staring at him for a long moment before leaning in smoothly. "Your smile is cute." He said casually as he flipped his legs out under him and stood up. He stretched out his back and long torso before he moved casually into the kitchen to go get started on the steaks.

#sebastian #para #blown up cheeks and dark eyes #sebco

[supercasualtj]

                      truth or dare: totally cool and chill

from cleo raja — truth: since coming back together again, who can you not stand? or just don’t like all that much? or dare: kiss everyone here, besides me, and tell us who’s the best.

“I’ll be the first to admit, I definitely think Kai’s too hot now, so fuck that,” TJ began. She was feeling pleasantly loose, having helped herself to a shower smirnoff before the game began. “But in general, everybody’s exactly the same as they were. The only difference is that Julian and Jenny are stuck with us and can’t ditch us for all their richer, cooler friends. I’m glad to be hangin’ out with my old buddies.”

from dakota harrison — truth: what’s one time you felt like the squad let you down? or dare: eat something you don’t like, right here and now.

Eating gross things was a Powell family tradition, and TJ had always had weird taste buds anyway. She considered, peering around the hotel room. “Did anybody bring a slim jim or jerky or something?” Since they had roadtripped, the teriyaki jerky was eventually produced-- TJ opened a new drink in preparation to eat a single nugget, choking it down before downing the third wine cooler just to rinse the taste of haunted cow from her mouth. “God, that mummy heat is so gross. It makes me feel like a zombie and I don’t know how anyone can casually snack on it-- but make note my mamma ain’t raised no bitch.”

from jenny jordan — truth: have you ever had a crush on someone in the room or dare: compliment me for three minutes straight.

She could already feel her cheeks burning at the idea of confessing to a crush, even in her late twenties, amongst her friends, so instead TJ was content to bite the bullet. She leaned forward, looking deeply into Jenny’s eyes and stated: “Start the timer.” Waiting for the go ahead, she began the flow of words. She’s already drunk, so they flow quickly and with sincerity. “Jenny, you’re so hot you put us all to shame. Your skin looks, and I cannot stress this enough, amazing. You could crush my head with your thighs and I would say thank you.  Your hair smells like sunshine and your teeth are super white. You never made me feel out of place when I was an awkward androgynous teen, and I’m really grateful for that. I’ve always loved your fashion sense and it’s only gotten cooler in the last decade. Remember when you loaned me a scrunchie in the eleventh grade? I do. It was the cutest part of my whole damn outfit, all thanks to you. I always thought you were really clever, and sometimes I used to suspect you could read minds. I think your job and the connections you make there are super cool, and I really envy your jetsetting lifestyle. You should have a show about your life like Keeping Up with the Kardashians, and you are so interseting I really would watch every episode--” The timer went off and TJ drew in a deep breath, feeling a little nauseous for having gushed nonstop without coming up for air. “Don’t let any of that go to your head, now, babe.” 

from julian campbell — truth: what is the cruelest thing you have ever done to a friend? or dare: let the person on your right give you a hair cut, right now.

“Well what I’m not gonna do is give any of you drunkie-drunks a pair of scissors,” TJ asserted. She was drunk but she sure wasn’t that drunk. Besides, if it wasn’t something she could undo after her hangover wore off, she wanted absolutely no part in it. “So I guess I’ll just have to admit to trying to exclude Cleo a little when we were all in school, y’know, cus she was such a baby and it kindof made me feel bad to be willfully providing her with booze and weed and things that would rot her tiny pre-teen brain. Sorry, Cleo. I already told you you’re way cooler now, though, so now return the favor and don’t do anything to me while I sleep.”

from kai eastaughffe — truth: would you kill a spider for me? or dare: kill the spider in my room for me.

TJ let out a dramatic sigh and got to her feet. The booze hit her then, she realized as the world tilted sharply to the right and she braced one hand on the wall behind her, trying to look casual as everything slowly righted itself. “C’mon, A-Kai Berry, show me where the spider’s at. I’ll keep you safe.” She didn’t even really want to kill the thing, but a dare was a dare so she made quick work of it with Kai’s hotel room remote.

from salem st. ives — truth: do you think your family was right to warn you to stay away from the dirtbag? or dare: phone any one of your brothers and tell them kai has always had a crush on him.

TJ barked out a laugh, completely forgetting the first option as the tantalizing dare was presented. “Oh, baby, you got it,” she agreed, pulling her phone out and waiting for the Face ID to unlock it. “Siri, call Miley Cyrus.” The phone rang a few times before TJ’s youngest brother Miles picked up. “To preface this, I do need you to send me a picture of Gizmo, stat, because I miss him,” TJ started, not even waiting for Miles to ask why it was he was calling her at such a late hour, clearly intoxicated. “But I did call you to let you know that all those years ago? My friend Kai was like, totally in love with you. Used to stare at your closed bedroom door while you were being a super emo, and pine for you, waiting for you to come out.” “Well, you’re clearly drunk,” Miles responded finally. “But that’s good to know, I guess. Which one’s Kai, anyway?” “Oh, you know the one. Skinny, big hair, looks a little nervous. He’s a lawyer now, though, so you could do worse.” Miles snorted, which TJ knew was an acknowledgement-- he knew exactly who she was talking about. “Yeah, yeah. Your dog’s asleep, do you still want a picture?” “Absolutely I do. Thanks for pickin’ up, Smiley. Go to sleep soon I’ll see ya in a couple days.” “Yeah, yeah. Night, Teej.” “G’nite!” She let the call end, looking over at Kai. “Miles is just a simple woodworker, but I bet he thinks you’re cute. He could be your trophy husband.”

from samuel flores — truth: do you wish that the squad had never parted ways? or dare: let each member of the squad send one text to anyone they want in your phone..

Since TJ had already tucked her phone away, she decided to take the truth, nodding empathetically as she finished her drink. It seemed wise to steel herself before this confession. “You guys were my only friends, like ever.” She lets out a nervous half-laugh. “Seriously, when I moved here nobody thought I could talk, remember? It wasn’t until I was accepted by all of you guys that I felt like it was, y’know, even worth it. Talking. And now I’m doing too much of it, a little? It would’ve been nice to celebrate everyone’s accomplishments when they happened. Coming together again like how we did is a real bummer.”

from skylar murphy — truth: what’s your biggest worry in life? what keeps you up at night? or dare: confide in someone you normally wouldn’t confide in.

Skylar’s question is the one that gives TJ the most pause. Maybe its because her drink is gone, maybe its because her tongue feels funny, but she takes a long time, chin tucked into her knees before responding. “I think I worry that, I’m going to be alone. Not like, romantically or whatever,” TJ clarifies, waving that away in case anyone tries to remind her that she don’t need no man. “I’m not worried about that. But... I just said you guys were my only friends. I think I just loved you all so much it’s been really hard to make space in my life for new people even after all these years. I think I worry that I can’t ever get our old friendships back, so I’m going to be alone.” Since that was thoroughly depressing, she reached for a cup that wasn’t empty and tried to settle comfortably back into her spot. “Who’s next?”

#thesquadevent #thesquadtask #so late but im always late