Test test tes test 1 4 3 test testing
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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
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Introducing…
‘DINO’-tello
BIG THANK U to anixolt on twitter for accepting this commission request!!! I'm so excited to share this 'Future' Donatello with you all!
Set in an alternate reality, Donnie & his brothers go back in time to the cretaceous period to stop a cataclysmic event. However, in doing so, the four brothers get stuck in the past and live among the dinosaurs.
[link to twitter thread]
(Note! Permission to post my commission on tumblr was given by artist via Twitter!)
More lore below!
Because the Ooze was designed to make super soldier mutants, it helps its host adapt to the conditions around them. After a few years, it started to double-mutate him to adapt to his new harsh environment, making him very raptor-like.
Because of his double mutation and trauma of past events, Donnie is at risk of going into a feral “Savage” mode like Raph
Has two modes— ‘Hunter’ and ‘Scientist/Alchemist’
While hunting Donatello relies on his instincts. Becomes very aggressive and territorial.
He uses a ankylosaurus skull and other dinosaur parts as his battle shell and protective gear while hunting
When he isn’t hunting, Donnie is trying to reinvent necessities to make living in a prehistoric era a bit easier with what materials are available to him
Whatever he doesn’t have, he’ll make. From scratch.
Dino-Tello’s concept was inspired by a similar 2003 TMNT episode where they go to the past, 2003 Leatherhead, Tarzan, and the anime series ‘Dr. Stone’
His concept is meant to emphasize Donnie’s other strengths beyond technology— such as his Superintelligence, his close-combat fighting skills, and ability to communicate with other creatures (as shown in the Todd Scouts episode)
He and his brothers tame a triceratops and name him Zog, who was both a pet and steed
For one reason or another… Donatello is the last turtle standing
However, due to classic Hamato shenanigans— ‘Dino’tello might not find himself alone for too long 👀👀👀
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