#calvinahobbes

[lesbaurinkos]

Please tell us about looking up catboys on a lodestone and what is a graha and please as many pictures as you want and also is any of it gay i am very interested 🙏🙏

CRACKS MY KNUCKLES this is gonna be a long ramble because i have a LOT to say. as a passionate xiv player and such ^_^ god im gonna put a read more actually because this is gonna be so long. whoopsie!

so FIRST OF ALL g'raha tia is a much-beloved ffxiv character (voiced by jonathan bailey. like from bridgerton. that jonathan bailey. isnt that incredible) look at him. here he is. phil is so incredibly real

he's a fan favorite for a reason he is so lovely and sweet and incredibly self-sacrificing and during my favorite story expansion, shadowbringers, we meet him as the crystal exarch- a leader of a dying world who has summoned us to help because we are that world's last hope. and his grand plan to save said world is ultimately to sacrifice himself. he's very depressed and very mysterious and slowly dying because his life force is tied to the crystal tower where he resides, which is what grants him power to keep going but is slowly crystallizing him, and he's just a very deeply tragic character at first... but then at the end of shadowbringers he LIVES! he has a new lease on life! and he didn't expect to ever get that far! so afterwards he's just so deeply earnest and excited about everything and it's so cute... so sweet... i love u graha <3 and this catboy is like gay as hell like he is soooo blatantly in love with the player character. who, like, officially in trailers and stuff, the default player character meteor, is a man. gayass cat!! anyway here's the crystal exarch figurine, which dnp own, and which i am jealous of them for. but it makes me smile that they have it. bc i love g'raha

NOW ANYWAY. DAN AND PHIL'S CATBOYS!

every ffxiv player character is displayed on this website called the lodestone, which has like community stuff and worldwide rankings and such. just like a standard mmorpg hub. and you can look up character profiles on there if youre curious, say, what mounts they have (cause in xiv you can get a whole bunch of different mounts to ride around on, from a massive shiba inu to a t-rex to the classic chocobo you are given at the start of the game to, like, actual cars and motorbikes) or what minions they might have (you can pick a little minion to follow you around in the game! just for like cute little aesthetic purposes. and they have minions of like cute little creatures, bosses you can fight, characters in the game, etc-- for example the minion iiii always have out to follow my catgirl around the world is a mini version of my favorite character y'shtola, who is a goth catgirl who is absolutely everything to me. wife of all time. she has the craziest lesbian dynamic with this goth butch named zero who you meet late in the story and who is SO everything as well. that's not the point. ANYHOW!) (also when phil said in the rating your favs video that if you play a cat in ffxiv youre definitely gay he was literally so fucking right. there are a bunch of different races to choose from, you can be elves, you can be bunny people, you can be dragon people, etc, but well. i play as a cat. they play as cats. fork. kitchen)

ANYHOW. so when phil said recently that his catboy was named MIKO STRIKER i was like "omg... i have GOT to go search him up on the lodestone and see what job he plays and how far he's gone in the story and such" and hereeee is his profile:

31st sun of the 1st astral moon does translate to january 30th bc the ffxiv calendar is offset by a day. anyway the fact phil plays summoner is both so endearing and makes so much sense to me bc it's pretty well-known as the easiest dps class to play in the whole game. and i also started out playing summoner when i started!! and part of the summoner job is, well, summoning these magical creatures called carbuncles:

isnt this thing cute... i love carbys. i named mine cherry tomato. im sure his is called susan or something ^_^ so delighted by the summoner rep. anyway then i went to look at his minions & mounts cause certain parts of the story award certain minions & mounts and i was like well i GOTTA know if dan and phil have finished endwalker (the most recent, emotionally devastating story expansion) (they have not, btw. both of their catboys are in the gear you get RIGHT before embarking on the final and MOST emotionally devastating leg of the story, but they don't have the mount and minion you get from FINISHING IT, which is killing me sooo bad. you guys.... go play the end of the story.... go cry.... it made me cry for like 7 hours nonstop it was so emotionally devastating. go do it lads)

so yeah phil does lack the venat minion and argos mount which you get from finishing endwalker. but he DOES have this cute carbuncle mount which you have to buy with real money mind you!! and they come in 3 colors on the shop. this is phil's. made me smile :)

and well after looking at phil's profile i was like "of course he doesn't play any other classes. yeah that makes sense. BUT i wonder about dan. where is his catboy" but without a name i couldn't find his profile without insane digging or something so i forgot about it UNTIL i was rewatching wdapteo sometime after christmas and i got to THIS picture:

and the thing is that dan's catboy here is wearing job-exclusive gear. only people who play the monk class can wear that outfit there. my first thought was "what the fuck is wrong with him monk is the most baffling job on the entire planet" my second thought was "yeah ok of COURSE he plays monk" my THIRD thought was "wait. i can just look up catboy monks on the server miko is on then. i can totally go look at dan's catboy" and did so and within like five seconds arrived at D'HASH TIA here ^_^

which like. definitely dan's catboy given the pictures we've seen of him. and the ffxiv calendar, again, is offset by a day, so the birthday IS june 11. bingo ^_^

and what is so special to me about this is that dan's catboy has a "canon" name while phil's absolutely does not-- sun seeker miquo'te (cat people) have clan names and then titles, basically, so a canon sun seeker male name would be like. letter of the clan, apostrophe, name, then "tia" at the end which is just a title for young males (like dearest g'raha tia). so yknow. d'hash tia is a proper canon name while also being so incredibly dan to pick, methinks. i love it

(and then i was going thru a lot and rewatched the japhan 2019 instagram stories and realized i didnt need to go thru so much because we've actually known theyre monk and summoner players since 2019. they went to the ffxiv cafe. they got job-specific drinks. for their fucking jobs. dan got the monk drink. phil got the summoner drink. it was always right there. theyre so funny)

i do think it's so funny that neither of them have ever played another job in all their years of playing ffxiv. u guys there are so many jobs out there..... dan go unlock dark knight i know you would love the job story i know it in my heart...... but no they have stuck to their guns they have stuck to their classes all this time. it's beautiful to me

anyway d'hash tia's minions and mounts mostly match miko striker's which makes a lot of sense to me bc i imagine they probably play most of xiv together

BUT the carbuncle mount d'hash has is the RED ONE. which sent me through every single stage of emotions ever.... you have to buy those mounts with real money.... and they bought matching ones.......... ridiculous. ridiculous of them.

AND. dan's catboy also has the fat moogle mount. this beautiful thing right here

which is another mount that costs real money to buy..... and it's a two-seater................ more likely than not he's flown the both of them around in this thing................... i need everyone to know this information. it's so important. to our society.

(also as an aside. the story they told in wdapteo about going to a gay bar in xiv. i cant state enough how real they were for that. bc roleplay venues are insanely common ingame and its so fucking funny and ive always wanted to go to one just out of sheer curiosity but if anyone ever spoke to me i would instantly log the fuck out. so the fact they did just that and then got flirted with by someone and instantly logged out.... like that's it. that's the exact experience. it's so beautiful)

(as another aside. xiv is real gay i prommy. and looking at their minions lets me know they've also done my favorite raid series, eden, which is essentially. two main characters, thancred and urianger, and their adopted daughter ryne who they CANONICALLY RAISED TOGETHER they are LITERALLY HER FATHERS, work to save the world and meet this goth girl named gaia that ryne falls in love with and like. ryne and gaia are blatantly meant to be canon to the point square enix made a spinoff game where characters very clearly based off them actually ARE together. it's adorable. little baby prep/goth lesbians. i hope dnp love them as much as i do. also im SO sure dan is a thancred fan honestly bc he seems right up dan's alley. anyhow look! arent they cute!)

TLDR i am such a massive fan of dip and pip's xiv catboys and i need the world to know that they bought matching mounts bc it's SO important to me. and ive gone on great journeys here. amen.

#IM SORRY THAT THIS IS SO SO INCREDIBLY LONG BUT THERE IS MUCH TO BE SAID!!! #i NEED them to talk about ffxiv more i need to know more of their thoughts i GOTTA!!! #i have my strong suspicions about dan's favorite characters. not just thancred... he MUST love emet-selch. danny give me confirmation here #it's so sad that neither of them have the tonberry minion but it IS expensive on the market board... dnp i have plenty of gil i will fund u #i will get u both tonberry minions.... i will..... #i must make them unlock other jobs. dan and phil pls go unlock fisher... go fishing. it's one of xiv's greatest joys #ANYWAY IM SORRY THAT THIS IS PROBABLY ABSOLUTE WORD SALAD. THERE IS A LOT OF PASSION. IN MY HEART. GODBLESS!! #THANK U FOR COMING TO MY TED TALK <3 #ask #calvinahobbes #dnp

[goldenpinof]

Wait, dan got the number of wad shows he’s done wrong???

well, are you surprised? 😄 even the press release was saying 78 dates. dates!!! +1 extra show in Amsterdam on the same day, and it's 79 shows (i counted, the press release was correct). Dan said he's done 76 shows, idk where he got that number. the last show on Feb 11 was his 81st 🫡

#boi either doesn't read his own press releases #or he is as dyslexic as i am and 6 and 8 are the same sometimes #he still would forget 1 show but whatever 😄 #and people ran with this 76 #i thought maybe i misheard?? like the audio can be funny sometimes #but no? #answered #calvinahobbes #wad

[yikesola]

35 for the fic meme pls and thank 👀🙏

here you go bb, I went real nice and cheesy for ya! x 😘😘

#ask #answered #calvinahobbes

[deadandphilgames]

Hi hello what makes dan and phil vs jason such a good dapg video 🎤

(im such a fake fan i dont even remember the specifics video i just remember i loved it 😭) okay im rewatching it and theres something about that video that just ticks all the boxes for me. i love that its 'live so it's their unedited reactions. and it makes it fun that they are not bad but also not good at the game, it gets boring if theyre too good or horrific at a game, the mid level keeps it interesting. but i think my favourite part is how shit phils first attempt was. he immediately died and then read the comments of everyone cheering him on 😭

also i went through my notes from when i made my out of context dnp vids (specifically this one) and yeah. the ~14min mark no we are NOT fine part gets me every time

#i also enjoyed the game #asks #calvinahobbes #i have no recollection of posting so many out of context videos. they have 1k+ views on youtube now??

[phanoutfitsblog]

pls charlotte what was the oldest item he wore to a m&g, do you know?

after some indepth and thorough research thanks to my sources (aka phanoutfits on twitter aka me) i can say with 99.9% certainty the oldest item he wore to a m&g was his black denim jacket. i say 99.9% and not 100% because i can't be sure it's the same plain black denim jacket (even though it definitely is)

the denim jacket first appeared in dan and phil play the impossible quiz #3 posted on 12th November 2016

(his second oldest item by mere DAYS according to my phanoutfits tweets was the grey sexual fantasies sweater. first making an appearance in this photo with catrific on 16th November 2016)

#asks #calvinahobbes #daniel howell #dan howell #why did doing this research bring me so much joy?

[oneiriad]

Would you ever write self-insert?

I mean, isn't all fiction ultimately self-insert?

But if you mean would I write a story where a middle-aged nerdy Danish librarian starts hanging out with our more ferocious iron age ancestors or random superheroes & villains or ancient fantasy!Chinese sorcerers? Probably not. I don't even do much in the way of OCs.

Of course, this is writing we're talking about. Let's not talk about the stuff that doesn't ever make it out of my brain and onto paper.

#calvinahobbes #I do like people from the past mysteriously stuck in the present stories #but I still can't quite see myself as the person stuck interacting with ragnar lothbrok or lan wangji #terribly sorry

[kavat]

Surely Phil has been pregnant long enough by now. He must be due any day 🫃🏻

The Japan trip was a baby moon and he's due in May

#everyone and their mother has a birthday in may it makes sense #ask #calvinahobbes

[normalamber]

Amber as our resident acronym expert how do you feel about the newest one being

DILM

i think phil chose it specifically so it'd stand for 'dude (or dan) i'd like to marry' (in iceland) (in march 2023)

#the clickbaiting was a distraction! the truth is out there! #answered #calvinahobbes

[lesbianphan]

Hi @calvinahobbes,hope you have a great birthday! I was gonna send an ask, but tumblr is stupid about sideblogs not sending asks and we're mutuals (somehow?? still can't believe that's a thing omg) so I just wanna say I've been a fan of your writing for a while so it feels surreal to interact with you sometimes ahaha Anyways have a lovely day!!

#calvinahobbes #fanfic writers are the coolest people out there <3 #fucking tumblr not allowing me to send people asks so I have to restort to tagging them like a caveman

[dvp95]

Please daye someone beating me up would be a relief at this point 😭

🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊

#i know what you mean! this is ridiculous! #calvinahobbes #daye answers

[indistinct-echo]

Would you press the button: phil entrusts you with the contents of the imac BUT you obviously can’t share it with anyone

oh 100% I’m making him backups, I’m encrypting every last picture they never shared, I’m organizing their drives, and all the while I’m just completely silent about it here

#calvinahobbes #ask game #answered

[feelingofcontent]

goddamit you’re right it IS another japan shirt! when will the japhan reign of terror end???

so much japan stuff always with both of them! I don't think it's going to end unless they somehow top the dan-described "experience that was so perfect that you never want to have it again"

#i mean #WTF HAPPENED IN JAPAN #(sorry for the shouting that's just my tag for dnp japan stuff lol) #calvinahobbes

[goldenpinof]

Wait do we not even like SuperSeizer’s editing? I thought the worst edits by far were CasualGuyy’s and those seemed to calm down a bit with the last ones, but i found them more busy than fast. Seizer just has the best jokes, she really seems to me like she shares their brand of humor but can contribute her own Gen Z jokes. I think I’m used to Kris by now sfsgd. Like i think the thing i enjoy most about him is how much dnp clearly trust him.

This was long i would actually most of all love a concrete example of what you guys mean by “fast” editing, especially if you have an old video to compare it to. And only if you (or someone reading this) feels inspired!!

i personally don't like SuperSeizer's editing. can't speak for everyone, though. i agree that she puts funny jokes, but i hate the way she cuts moments. too many jumpcuts, a lot of them are unnecessary right in the middle of the sentences just to make the pace go faster. her editing took me out from the beginning. that spooky golf video? hate the editing so much, i couldn't even make myself gif the video because of the jumpcuts. stopped watching the sims videos partially because of that as well. wii sports was fine though, gonna give her that. others? too fast, too many jumpcuts. and from a gif-maker pov, very hard to gif. too many moments ruined by zooms in/out or just, like i said, cuts in the middle of the sentence.

overall, even though i also like Kris' editing the most (and here his ap videos are not as fast as dnpg videos). still can't make myself rewatch anything because it's just not the vibe i'm looking for. the editing of all 3 of them makes me anxious. and i'm not particularly a fan of the sims series but i'd rewatch pre-hiatus just fine, because they are kinda slow and i don't have to worry or pay attention to every second of the video.

dnp's editing on the other hand.... don't scream and poppy playtime 2 — bro, could watch it again and again. but i can see that even they are trying to go faster now. not to the extent of their editors, thankfully.

can't really give you examples right now, because it would mean rewatching stuff. and i can't :( if anyone wants to contribute, feel free <3

edit: speaking of Kris. the push the button video is edited awfully. idk what happened, but if you compare it to the pre-hiatus push the button, the difference is scary. i can't for the life of me understand what is going on in 2024 video.

#i feel like i complained about Seizer's editing quite a lot here #i just stopped recently because blah blah negativity and it won't change anything #im not a huge fan of gen z humour lol #and the way they are shaping the internet. editing in particular #and i LOVE crackhead editing when it's actually focused on memes and stuff. dnp's videos aren't focused on that #so this weird mix isn't my cup of tea #dan tried to do this with the Halloween baking. and THAT was appropriate. he didn't push it too far though #answered #editing #(new tag dropped) #calvinahobbes

[yikesola]

"Is that really what you think?" 😘

😘😘😘

#ask #answered #calvinahobbes #ask meme #whoooo feels good to actually answer something in my inbox aksjfksm

[deadandphilgames]

Happy birthday!!! 🥳

thank you cal 💜

#asks #calvinahobbes

[stepja]

I don’t know what's going on with me today but Nun Dan playing the piano actually made tear up

#calvinahobbes