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#butterfly effect or smth
ginzburgjake · 1 year
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Statement of Jonathan Sims, regarding the events before his alleged disappearance in January of 2016. Statement never given.
Somewhere, in another universe, Jonathan Sims didn’t watch his feet. It’s not that he was always so clumsy, but the current case research was stagnating, driving Jon into sleepless restlessness that, he found, could only be alleviated through hard work.
He’d been working at The Magnus Institute for over a year by that point, which was not a dream job, exactly, but it paid the bills alright. One day, as he was carrying a rather large cup of black tea, looking through the brief notes on his phone, a tall lean guy crossed his path, causing Jon to trip. He regained his balance quickly, sloshing his drink in the process and, to his utter mortification, staining the stranger’s shirt. Jon apologized awkwardly, while the stranger loudly bemoaned the loss of his favorite expensive piece of clothing (personally, Jon thought he’d accidentally done humanity a favor. The shirt was abysmal, with a garnish pattern of pink oranges and blue orchid flowers). Jon, as politely as he could, offered to buy the man a coffee in exchange.
“Nah, probably not a good idea,” the guy said, “I’m on my third espresso already. Let me, hm—” Then he squinted, contemplating, and Jon detected something akin to mischief glinting in the stranger’s eye. “Say, uh — I’ve seen you before in the, er, Research?”
“That is correct,” Jon replied stiffly. Was he going to be sent an official invoice, or something? God, he hoped the shirt didn’t cost more than his weekly rent, otherwise his savings would be in serious trouble. “Jon Sims.”
“Oh! That’s neat, ‘cuz I’m from Research as well! Name’s Tim, Tim Stoker.” The guy —Tim — stretched out his hand eagerly. Jon shook it with no small amount of hesitation. “I was thinking — uh, it’s kinda weird, to be honest — but me and a couple of others were planning to go on a trivia night, yeah? And we need a team of three, actually, but no-one else is available, and, well. You should be real smart, so I thought, why not, y’know?”
Jon decidedly did not know. He hoped his blank expression conveyed this feeling accordingly. “You want me… to go… on a trivia night. With you.”
“That’s right!” Tim grinned, pointing to the brown stain across his chest. “I really liked this shirt, okay? And it hurt. A lot,” he added, almost as an afterthought. The whole pity act wasn’t particularly convincing — although, in all honesty, Jon was often told he simply misunderstood how people conveyed their emotions. Maybe Tim always expressed himself in such an exaggerated, jovial manner. “And if you come to the trivia night, your debt will be forgiven and forgotten.”
Jon made a face. He specifically avoided crowded social gatherings — he had no time for such pointless, nerve-wracking, chaotic engagements. But something told him now that Tim found a way of retribution, Jon wouldn’t be able to escape his grasp easily. And anyway, better get this over with quickly, so that he could continue his existence in peaceful solitude.
“Fine,” he sighed. “But I can’t promise I’ll be of any help.”
“Brilliant! Meet you down by the reception at five. The bar is fifteen minutes away.” Tim clapped his hands excitedly. “And if I don’t see you on time, I will come hunt you down.” He winked, waved his hand and was off, leaving Jon standing there in complete stupor.
Jon bought himself another cup of tea, worked on the case until the appointed hour and, as promised, was packed and ready to head out at five o’clock sharp. Tim and a girl Jon didn’t know were already there, and Tim shot his finger guns at the newest arrival.
“That’s our savior! Jon, welcome aboard. This here is my accomplice, Sasha. Sash, meet Jon.” Both of them nodded at each other, and Sasha smiled. “Now off we go!”
This occurrence was not, in fact, the last time Jon saw this Tim Stoker. Tim, like a pest, started finding him during the lunch breaks and accompanying him to the tube station. It didn’t matter that Jon was curt and blunt with his replies — Tim filled in the gaps for the both of them, ranting about movies, urban legends, pizza flavors, and llamas, for some reason. Sasha was also quick to join the party. She was sharp-minded and curious, and a troublemaker — sometimes even worse than Tim.
Jon had learned fast enough that his stand-offish attitude and general unpleasantness had no effect on those two. He’d gradually grown to tolerate them, contributing to their conversations when he deemed it impossible to stay quiet. Then they started sharing their lunch when Jon, in his obliviousness to his needs, forgot to bring his own. Before he knew it, they were going out for drinks every Friday and spending the weekend evenings at each other’s flats, picking apart scientifically inaccurate television.
And just like that, Jon, surprising everyone, and himself especially, had… friends.
This all, however, happened somewhere else, in a different story, with a different Jon.
In this story, a sleep-deprived Jonathan Sims was carrying a cup of black tea when a tall lean man crossed his path. Jon looked up from his phone just in time to prevent a collision — he nearly avoided ruining the guy’s (frankly, quite ugly) Hawaiian shirt. Jon muttered a sort-of apology and continued on his way to get some bloody work done.
He never met Sasha James or Martin Blackwood.
He never requested assistance with the Archives — he didn’t know anyone well enough for that, and he refused to deal with a bunch of potentially incompetent strangers on top of his usual headache-inducing workload.
He worked alone in the basement for seven months, interacting only with Elias (when he graced the Archives with his presence) and Rosie at the reception.
He had no family or friends to miss him.
He had nowhere else to be.
And then, one day, he was suddenly nowhere to be found at all.
< part 1 part 3 >
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peemil · 2 years
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i have ocd and as such semi-unironically believe that if i had gone to a different university covid would not have happened
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big fan of when there's bugs. deep cut coming whenever I feel like it.
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bytedykes · 4 months
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i have been having sick brain-eating thoughts about original lbh for the past 2-3 business days
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akashicpoint · 5 months
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Also, I definitely like the idea of just one NMH because it truly feels like Travis was supposed to die at the end of NMH1. I feel the reason the nmh games have gotten wackier is the same reason Life is Strange had more natural disasters trying to get Arcadia the longer they kept Chloe alive. They are disturbing the balance of the world by still being alive and now look, we got aliens.
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cutemeat · 2 years
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so scared for the Dennis Reynolds: An Erotic Life podcast tomorrow… u hav no idea how much time and energy i poured in2 analyzing that stupid ep n all its threads 😭 n rcg is just gonna tear that to SHREDS i just kno it..
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arowrath · 1 year
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idk exactly what i believe & i figure if no one else has figured it out for certain i won’t either but i can definitely understand why some people believe in some kind of intelligent design. i dont really anymore but like. i dunno. sometimes i see the moon and i wonder abt it
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pixiefms · 1 year
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me typing my full government name into a uquiz
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worthyking · 2 months
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spotify either COOKS with their music recs/algorithm or absolutely TANKS them there's no in between
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biohazrd · 2 years
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oh my god. oh my godddd my ocd has been SO BAD the last few days help me
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ashwhowrites · 4 months
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Eddie Munson x cheerleader! Harrington! Reader, what if reader goes to The Hideout just to see Eddie playing, and Eddie doesn't know about this bc Reader is his best friend's "little" sister (she's 18). The night Eddie saw her there he was like what are you doing here? Does Steve knows you're here? And she tells him that she wanted to see him play. Reader goes every weekend to the Hideout just to spend time with Eddie until they end up hooking up. They try to act calm bc when Steve is around them that can't just act weird or suspicious, so they really try to act like nothing happened but Steve feels like something is going on between them and obviously they can't stop seeing each other, they start to see each other at Steve's back (or smth like that?) And then Steve finds them at Reader's room making out and he's like I knew something was going on with you two! (Like Eddie and Reader being in a secret relationship, I hope my request makes sense!)
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So I combined both of these so I hope that's alright and both anons find this 🫶🏻 thank you for requesting and I hope you enjoy it
Love vs popularity
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Y/N had a small secret that she didn't tell anyone, not her best friend, not her cheerleading team, and not her brother Steve. It was a secret that led to other secrets and she didn't want anyone to cause a domino effect.
But she had the biggest crush on Eddie Munson. His dark hair and eyes made her stomach flutter and his sexy smirk made her head spin. She's been skipping the weekend parties to sneak off to the hideout. She stayed in the back corner, not that anyone from school would be there anyway. But she had a guilty pleasure of watching Eddie perform. He had the rockstar look, and she gushed over it. She tried to make sure she wasn't seen, she'd feel embarrassed to know Eddie caught her.
~~~
Another weekend and another night Y/N was at the hideout. Eddie just finished his set, and she prepared to leave. She quickly finished the last sips of her drink and grabbed her purse.
She was feet away from the door when someone slid right in front of her. She looked up annoyed, ready to snap but the insult fell flat on her tongue. Instead of a drunk, she was face to face with a sweaty, panting, and smirking Eddie.
"Well well well, a Harrington? On this side of town? Why is that? Does your brother know you are here?" Eddie asked, a smirk still on his face but his tone was very curious.
"He doesn't," Y/N admitted nervously.
"Sneaking out then? Meeting a date here or something?" Eddie asked, his eyes checking her out. Slipping up her dress and sneakers.
Y/N felt butterflies in her stomach as he checked her out. She never thought she'd get to have a conversation with Eddie in the first place. So she wasn't going to waste her opportunity.
"I came here to see you play." A confident smile on her face as she gave him flirty eyes.
Eddie tried to fight off a smile as he bit his lip. Y/N Harrington snuck out of her preppy world to watch him play. His cheeks were hot and he began to sweat again. The tables turned and now he was the nervous one.
"Did you like the set?" He asked, she adored how hopeful his big puppy eyes were. Like what she thought was very important to him.
"I did! You get better and better. You play very well. And look incredibly attractive while doing it." She flirted, she figured she might as well. She had him nervous and blushing. She wasn't sure where the confidence came from but she hoped it wouldn't disappear with a snap of a finger.
"Oh, so you just check me out!" Eddie teased, laughing as he looked to the floor.
"I do, but I know a musician when I see one." She praised, smiling when he looked up with a smile of his own.
~~~
After that night, she continued to spend her weekend at the hideout. But this time, he joined her after the show. They sat in a back booth for hours until the bar closed.
She loved how easy it was for them to get along. And the way they flirted and sat closer each weekend that passed. She knew her crush on him was turning into something way more.
After a month of constantly flirting and talking, both craved more. Y/N couldn't remember who made the move, but it didn't take long for her to be on his lap with her tongue in his mouth. His hands gripped her ass as he leaned back against the booth. The lights were dark above them, keeping them hidden as they dry-humped each other. She felt on fire when she kissed him and his hands added more matches. Her skin burned with desire and she loved it. She'd never felt feelings like this before.
Once they had sex, more feelings got involved. Neither could forget how perfect their bodies fit together. Eddie couldn't shake off the feeling of her cunt around him and she couldn't shake off the feeling of him between her legs. They both admitted it wasn't a sleazy bar hookup. It was something they both wanted and wanted to do again and again.
Before they knew it, a relationship began.
~~~
Y/N's secrets added on another secret, a secret relationship. She was terrified of what Steve would think and say, and Eddie vowed to keep it a secret for her. He didn't want to put her in a rough situation. In a world of secrets, the hideout was the one place they got to just be a girlfriend and boyfriend. The band loved her and welcomed her. She even arrived before the set to spend more time with Eddie, then once the show was done he'd race through the crowd. He'd grab her hand and they'd go fuck in his van. Who would want to give that up for the truth?
Just like all the beginning of a relationship, they struggled to keep their hands to themselves. Y/N could feel her hands shake as she tried to hold back from caressing Eddie's skin as she talked to Steve. She cursed Eddie for standing right next to her. His cologne and cigarette smell filled her nose and she could feel her body craving him. But she couldn't do a thing, not with Steve around.
Y/N was thankful that Steve and Eddie were barely friends, only thrown together when the group was together. But the problem was, if Steve wasn't with her and the group, then he was alone at home with her.
Weeknights were the longest. She ached to have Eddie around and sometimes the weekend just felt too far. So Eddie snuck into her bedroom window. They kept it quiet and stuck to making out. He swallowed her moans and she felt that craving being fulfilled.
It was a success, Steve never knew. So of course, they did it again and again.
~~~
Steve had a weird gut feeling when he watched Eddie and Y/N interact. Steve wasn't a fan of Eddie, but he sucked it up for the sake of keeping peace in the group. And maybe he had a hint of jealousy of the way Dustin adored him.
Steve just couldn't help but see a certain glint in Eddie's eyes, a look that Steve knew too well. He swore he heard Y/N giggle at way too many jokes. Steve kept his eyes on them, hoping his glare scared Eddie off in a different direction.
~~~
"Do you think he can tell?" Eddie asked, slightly nervous as he sat on Y/N's bed. She sat in his lap, her lips on his neck as Eddie talked.
"No way," Y/N said, she had no belief Steve had any idea of what was going on. Not like he paid attention to her life.
Eddie let the thought go, attaching his lips to hers as he held the back of her head. Y/N felt her brain shut off as his warm tongue worked against hers. Her hips slightly shifted against his thigh as she whined into his mouth.
"WHAT THE HELL!"
Y/N immediately scrambled off of Eddie's lap, standing in between Steve and Eddie. Eddie had fear in his eyes, reaching forward to touch a part of Y/N's skin. His fingers rested against the back of her thigh to calm his nerves.
"STOP TOUCHING HER!" Steve yelled, his eyes were filled with rage. A rage Y/N barely saw.
"It calms him down! Eddie, you're fine." She reassured him, her hand reaching behind to grasp his.
"Just calm down and we can talk about this!" Y/N said calmly.
"Talk? What the fuck is there to talk about? There is no way you are messing around with a guy like him!" Steve argued, his hands on his hips as he let his tongue race off with venom.
"I'm not messing around! He's my boyfriend, Steve. And we've been together for months. I'm sorry that it was behind your back, but I'm not sorry for being with him. And don't say a guy like him, there's nothing bad about him. He's a great guy and you'd know that if you gave him a chance!" Y/N argued, Eddie squeezed her hand and she took a deep breath.
"No! No! No way. You are not dating him. Do you have any idea what that could do to my reputation? My little sister dating the fucking freak of Hawkins! Are you kidding me? There's tons of other guys you can pick from!" Steve said and Y/N knew she shouldn't have been surprised by it. But she couldn't help but be shocked. He truly admitted he only cared about how she made him look.
"Look Steve," Eddie tried as he stood up, but Y/N's rage beat him to it.
"Fuck you! Do you think you're some king of high school? Your girlfriend dumped your ass and I can see why. Look at you! You are so focused on being popular that you can't see the real people from the fakes. I'm your sister and I wish you could be happy for me. He's not a freak, he's a gentleman and he treats me so well. Look at how he is with the group, everyone loves him except you. He's not the problem, you are. Is your reputation more important than your sister?" She asked for an answer she knew. But she hoped with everything in her, with any love he had for her, he'd say no.
"Yes." He said without missing a beat. "And I will not accept this relationship. You can't be seen with him."
"I HATE YOU!" she screamed, running forward to smack her fists against his chest but Eddie was quick to hold her back. "YOU CAN'T LET ME EVER BE HAPPY. NO ONE DOES. ITS ALWAYS ABOUT PERFECT LITTLE STEVE! MOM AND DAD LIVE THROUGH YOU, AND I CAN'T EVEN BE IN LOVE WITHOUT YOU MAKING IT ABOUT YOU! "
"Baby, calm down." Eddie tried to whisper against her ear, his arms tight around her as she struggled to get free.
"MAYBE IF YOU WEREN'T SUCH A DISAPPOINTMENT, MOM AND DAD WOULD HAVE SOMETHING TO BE PROUD OF YOU FOR. MAYBE IF YOU DIDN'T SLEEP WITH THE FIRST GUY THAT GAVE YOU ATTENTION, YOU WOULDN'T BE WITH HIM! YOU'D BE WITH SOMEONE PEOPLE APPROVE OF!" Steve yelled back. Once the words left his mouth, he knew how badly he fucked up. But his pride was too important. He ignored the tears that began to fill her eyes and the way her body froze in Eddie's grip. While he still had the last word, he slammed her door and left.
"Shh, it's okay." Eddie cooed as he turned her around and let her cry into his chest. He kept his arms wrapped around her and slowly rocked them. His hands ran up and down her back as she sobbed into his chest.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry he spoke poorly of you." She cried, the guilt of knowing her brother added salt to Eddie's wounds.
"Nothing to apologize for. Everyone has opinions on me, but yours is the only one I care about." He promised, a soft kiss on her forehead.
"Well I love you and I don't care what he thinks. I'm going to be with you and be happy." She made a promise to him and herself. She wasn't going to let Steve ruin this.
~~~
Y/N tried to ignore the uncomfortable tension between her and Steve. She hadn't spoken a word to him since the blowout with Eddie. His reaction made her even more scared to tell her parents.
Eddie and Y/N weren't a secret anymore in school. She soaked in every moment she had with him and loved not having to hide at the hideout. She still went every weekend, Steve would ask where she was going but she wasn't done with the silent treatment. She didn't want to speak to him until he apologized for all the pain he caused.
~~~
Eddie hated seeing Y/N being so torn apart by Steve. He knew their relationship wasn't that close with Steve being the gold star child, but he hated being the reason it turned even more sour.
While Y/N was at cheer practice, Eddie went over to talk to Steve. He wasn't sure if it was a good idea or not, but he'd do whatever he could to save the relationship. He knew Steve's opinion mattered to Y/N, she wanted his approval and support from him more than she ever did with her parents.
Eddie knocked on the door, rocking on his boots as he waited.
"She's not here," Steve said, slamming the door but Eddie's hand caught it.
"Here to talk to you. I'm a good boyfriend, I know she's at practice until five, then dinner with the team until seven. Gives me many hours to talk to you." Eddie said with a smile, pushing the door open and letting himself in.
"Come on in, I guess." Steve scoffed. His arms crossed as he waited for Eddie to speak.
"I know I'm not the rich and flashy type. I'm nowhere near the type of guy you bring home to impress. I'm the type you bring home as a fuck you to dads. I know that about me, but Y/N sees something different. I have no idea what I did in the world to be blessed with her and the love she has for me. I know I don't deserve it. I know she has so much potential, and she could end up with a big shot that can buy her everything she dreams of. But I can promise you, no big shot will ever love her the way I do. I love her with every part of me, and I've always tried to make her happy and I'll always try. I know getting your blessing doesn't mean shit to me, no offense. But it does to her. She looks up to you, Steve. She doesn't get anything from your parents, she counts on getting it from you. I'm not here to push you to accept our relationship. I'm here to hopefully push you towards apologizing and making this up to her. Don't make her have no one at home, she already doesn't have parents, don't make her lose her brother too." Eddie said, leaving Steve alone with his long speech as he walked out the door.
Steve kicked the door as he let out his frustrations. How did he let himself become such an asshole? He lost Nancy because all he cared about was popularity, and he didn't learn his lesson. Now he's seconds away from losing his sister, the one relationship that had unconditional love.
~~~
It was Friday night and Steve was waiting for Y/N to come back home. He wasn't sure what she did on weekends but he assumed it was with Eddie.
She walked in with Eddie behind her, her smile dropped when she made eye contact with her brother.
"Hey, can we talk? In private?" Steve asked, nervously rubbing his hands as he looked between her and Eddie.
"No." She said, she went to walk upstairs but Eddie grabbed her hand and gently stopped her. She looked at him confused and tried to tug him up.
"Talk to him, baby." He said softly, "It'll be good for you. I'll wait in your room." He added with a soft peck to her lips. Y/N sighed and turned around to face Steve.
"Let me start with I'm sorry. I was a total asshole and a shitty brother. I talked with Eddie and he made me realize some things."
"You talked to Eddie?"
"Well, more like he chewed my ass out, and honestly? He's way more intelligent than I gave him credit for. I'm sorry for not giving him a chance, and I'm sorry I never gave you a chance." Steve apologized.
"Thank you, he deserves more credit." She said, her arms wrapped around herself for comfort.
"You both opened my eyes to a lot. I know Mom and Dad are tough, and that means I should have been a safety net for you. I know what it's like to come home to a place that doesn't feel like home, and I'm sorry I added to that. I'm sorry for those horrible things I said, and they aren't true. I wish I could take them back and erase the pain I caused. Eddie, he's a good guy and I can see you love him. And I can see he loves you. Even though you don't need it, you have my blessing."
Steve was caught off guard when Y/N threw her arms around him in a bone-crushing hug. He could feel her tears soaking into his shirt as he hugged her back.
"Thank you." She whispered
"Things I should have said a long time ago," Steve said as he pulled back from the hug, his eyes wet.
"He's good for you. I'll back you up when you tell Mom and Dad." Steve promised
"Thank you, I'm very nervous." She laughed nervously as she tugged on her clothes.
"Fuck them, they don't know anything anyway." Steve joked, brushing them off.
"Do we need a referee or a celebration?" Eddie asked as he walked down the stairs.
"All good here, man. Thanks for taking care of her." Steve said, reaching out his hand. Eddie smiled and shook his hand.
"Pleasure is all mine." He said, ruffling Y/N's hair as she groaned.
"And just please, don't like to make out in front of me or you know what when I'm around," Steve said as he cringed.
"Fair enough." Y/N laughed
Y/N and Eddie walked back up to her bedroom, Eddie turned around to give Steve one last look.
"Thank you" Steve mouthed
Eddie gave him a nod and wink. Turns out the king of Hawkins could be friends with Eddie.
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theoccultz · 9 months
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What do you need to know at the moment?
#random messages edition
General reading,take what resonates leave what doesn't
Pics not mine credits to their rightful owners
Short Chanelled messages for you
Note: readings are not to disregard anyones feelings but to bring more awareness through it ,decision is always yours at the end
Select your pile -see ya in your pile !!!
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Pile l . Pile ll. Pile lll .
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Pile Vl. Pile V . Pile Vl .
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Pile l .
Angel number:898
You need to do some savings ,invest in health more maybe ,i'm hearing open an account as well
Do not talk to strangers or give them full information on your life even if its on internet
You are not wrong for speaking up for yourself even if its against your family, release the guilt
You should tie the loose ends , even if its just sewing your shirt ,it will improve your attention span and you'll feel happier connecting with your hobbies
I'm hearing visit a part or work with ferries ,you might buy a gift or someone could gift you something
Pls limit your screentime its having effect on your eyes and you might be feeling more tired than usual
Buy that outfit?cap ? Watch buy it ,it'll be needed.
You need to heal issues related to your body if its a scar or something else also water is significant here maybe you can go for a date near water or you should eat date with water
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Pile 2 -
Angel number -459
Dont pick a side and dont forget what they have done to you its gonna hit em back
Someone with s or a singer could be significant here ,maybe you should sing more someone could praise you or recommend you for something big . congratulations omg
You need to travel or explore more on your own maybe in not busy places like aquarium or beach or go for bicycling
You leave a big impression on the people you meet ,i'm hearing your outfit choices are great like the colour stands out.
Do not be paranoid you'll get the chance to do something you missed out on ?
Flies or bees contain some message's do not ignore ?
Mind peoples action more set firm boundaries,dont indulge or respond .
There's some gossip group you need to be away from i'm hearing someone can overhear and tell others abt it
Tea or butterfly? Someone needs to do some research on it or if you're sick drink some tea .
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Pile 3
Angel number -806
If you start something in this period it will flourish for the best although it may be hard to kickstart at first
Save your files or dont miss something while you're going out ? Double check
There's someone popular here who likes you they could find reasons to talk to you ?i 'm hearing this person has a baby face & sensitive skin they could be popular for their looks ?
Dont let your discussions get highly thereoritical with the people you interact? Keep it neutral
I'm hearing busy environment ,you need to connect with your inner self i actually heard dive lmao whatever you feel like suits you ,it will help you put yourself out there more
How? simply stop overthinking and start doing what feels right .
You are overeating this could your coping mechanism that you're unaware of .
I'm hearing a lot of slangs maybe you should join some online community or start a new one ,you will find fun people there i'm not kidding these people have good sense of humour*yeah i heart k!ling it lmao*
"If you're feeling sad' maybe you should relax " maybe its speaking abt mental rest
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Pile 4.
Angel number:594
Oh wow people find you really attractive i'm hearing baddie maybe you have this dark aesthetic or smth
You look good in any hairstyle yeah you guys i think people are praising you a lot in this period. Yeah under the observation 😭idk if you have applied for an audion or smth there's people making a decision on you .
2months ? You'll receive your lost item ,you need some help -you'll receive
Make a deit plan ,make good food choices & drink clean water maybe go to some cleaning services
Attention by new jeans -song
Check where your scorpio placement is ?its important for your well being ...what ...maybe its effecting you in this transit.
Ah beware at night ,11am is highlighted here especially if you go for walks ,you could see something you wouldn't like .
Pay your tax , do not procastinate, watch a childhood movie you loved
Change your bottles ,blue bottles specially
If you wear some sort of brand that brand Is scamming people
Be more mindful and present when you're walking (:
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Pile 5.
Angel number -982
If you suspect someone have a crush on you then you're right especially if this person randomly calls you or interacts you or tells you weird things which you find questionable
I'm hearing be aware of someone who complimented you recently for your imitation or smth? This person bad mouths you ,they could upload a lot reels in a day or week . someone with dark aesthetic,initials -R ,F,V
You are feeling triggered and overwhelmed emotionally because of your father wounds maybe you have completed a cycle and the shadow period taking over you specially if you feel the need to go out more
I'm hearing do the neediful dont overextended help they dont appreciate it ,this person is critical in nature its not your fault.
I'm hearing a community you are in is fake like they just fake their emotions & hide things or keep it to themselves yeah nothing much ,dont go finding deep connection with them .
You'll get the opportunity ,your background doesn't matter maybe you feel there's competition but the higher authority who's working behind the scenes an older woman she doesn't care for background like experience or smth she just cares for efficiency and excellence maybe if you pass her test she'll reward you
No their relations aren't good -this was random like if you're suspecting a friend or a couple is having the time of their life they aint "there's regret here"
Also you need to rest more or reschedule your stuff
This pile was juicy& direct af goodness 😭✋🏻 are u abt to expose someone? Tagg me jkk
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Pile 6.
Angel number:101
Someone younger have a crush on you i'm hearing 3 years age gap they could be a libra with taurus placements their moon sign could be significant
>Yeah this person keeps an eye on you they feel overprotective over you ,they like you and will probably take Action their energy is very forthcoming
You need to do something less? If you exercise?listen to music or cook ? Clean whatever do it less frequently ,i feel like you're overindulging it will effect your health
"Its not your problem "
someone is mad at you, just leave them alone no need to do or say anything,its obvious they're projecting
Check up on a friend they are suffering, i feel like this friend really admires you, like you make their day better ,you should talk with them if you have been in separation for quite sometime or they dont live close by you
If you're thinking for therapy sessions or keep forgetting things like you dont feel good i feel like therapy or a support group would be of great help ,it will help you release
Flower by jisoo - You guys i'm giving you a big hug ,we'll be fine.
Pile 6 -I just feel the need to say this but you guys are amazing ,thank you for being here
Your energy will be restored ... be ready for s change ,if you do something creative sell it .
ATTEND THAT EVENT - whatever it is a free show ,a wedding,a competition,a meetup .
"Dont eat what you didn't cook " your messages are very crypted for some reason ,yeah dont take anything from strangers specially these 3 weeks .
Use your voice more or improve? Like use diction it will open up your ability to speak confidently.
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Thanks for reading!!! Have a great day/night .
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slytherinshua · 3 months
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MEIN PRINZ
genre. fluff. warnings. petnames (babe, mein prinz, süßer). pairing. maki x reader. wc. 500. request. no. a/n. the author's block is so real i actually hate this fic but i'm posting it anyway... i wanna write smth better for maki soon :( also i don't know german but i am fluent in google translate 👍
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Maki loved to tease you by calling you terms of endearment in different languages. Whether it was German, French, Japanese, Korean, English, or something else, he never seemed to run out despite dating you for months. He never failed to give you butterflies whenever he called you so sweetly with his honey-like voice.
Today, you wanted to get payback. He had been able to get you a flustered mess many times before, but you had never gotten the same reaction out of him. Of course he blushed when he confessed to you and on some dates, but you hadn’t seen the cute colour on his cheeks for a while.
He was muttering something about his plans for the next week as he typed a list into his phone, still a little sleepy from waking up recently. You weren’t sure how someone could look so pretty so early in the morning, but there were no other ways to describe Maki besides beautiful. You were noticing more and more how well he had grown into his features just over the past few months. You missed how cute he used to be, but his sharper more chiselled features definitely suited him the best.
“You used to have cheeks.” 
Maki glanced up from his phone at your comment, flashing a curious smile at you, “I still have cheeks, babe.” 
You shook your head, “But your cheeks used to be cute and chubby.” You leaned over, poking one of your fingers to his cheek, right where his dimple usually popped up, though it wasn’t visible at the moment.
He smiled again, his dimple forming right under your finger, “You like my cheekbones, though.”
“I do.” You sighed, turning your hand to cup his face instead, tracing a finger along his cheekbone. “Mein prinz*…” You mumbled, biting back a smile.
Maki turned to you, colour rushing to his cheeks in shock. You had rarely said anything in German without his coaching, and certainly never such an affectionate nickname. My prince.
Maki had always been the more romantic of you two; planning dates, initiating skinship, and dreaming about the future. Whenever you reciprocated that fondness back to him, it came as a surprise to him. He couldn’t help but get flustered. 
“Where did you… learn that?” He questioned, “I never taught you that.”
You shrugged, “I did some research in my free time, süßer**.” 
“Stop!” He laughed and hid his face behind his hands as your smile only grew from his reaction.
“Are you blushing?” You teased, trying to peek at his face by removing his hands. But he shrunk away more, evading your hands by curling up into a ball to hide just how red he had gotten. The swarm of butterflies in his stomach and the bubbling feeling in his chest accompanied by his racing heart seemed a little too excessive for just 2 pet names. But that was the effect you had on him. 
“Now you know how I felt before.” You grinned victoriously.
*mein prinz = my prince **süßer = sweetie/cutie pie
↳ &team taglist: @eternalgyu,, @kpoprhia,, @weird-bookworm,, @candewlsy,, @cyberpunksunwoo,, @chiiyuuvv
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pennyellee · 1 day
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𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐕𝐈𝐈𝐈 - 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐨𝐬𝐭
LACRIMOSA | MYG MAFIA YANDERE AU
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pairings: mafia leader!yoongi x f!reader genre: mafia!au, yandere au, historical au
summary: Their interlocking gaze served as a butterfly effect on his heart, stirring it to the core. She, in turn, only dreams to find a way to escape. But perchance, over time she might forcefully learn to love the man who has taken so much from her.
Thus unfolds a twisted tale of love and loss, of hope and despair, of life and death. The music reverberated through the dimly-lit streets. Tears of sorrow, weeping symphony - reflects the hurt, the scars that linger deep within and the wounds that never healed. Lacrimosa.
chapter warnings:minors dni 18+ | mafia au, dark!yoongi, mafia!yoongi, yandere, manipulation, possessive/obsessive behaviour, angst, religious references, mentiones of physical violence, loss of blood, incision wound, suicide attempt, strong language, consented sexual intercourse, oral sex, fingering, handjob, emotional distress, remorse, verbal confrontation, emotional manipulation, suicidal ideation, bargaining, ... (if i forgot smth, pls i'm so sorrryy)
beta read by @chaoticpuff17
word count: 11,6K
disclaimer: this story is purely fictional, it does not depict real-life events or involve any actual members of BTS. This story will contain depictions of violence, blood shed, death, mentions of abuse, smoking, alcohol drinking, illegal activities, old social norms and traditions, which we do not condone.
author's note: is at the end of the chapter! 🫧🩵
m.list CHAPTER I CHAPTER II CHAPTER III CHAPTER IV CHAPTER V CHAPTER VI CHAPTER VII CHAPTER IX
lítost (n.) a state of agony and torment by a sudden sight of one’s misery
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She could feel the warmth of the sun on her skin, the soft rustle of wind making her hair dance. The scent of fresh blooms filled the air. She buried her feet into the warm sand and smelled the summer heat mixed with the salty ocean. It was as if time stood still, frozen in a moment of perfect happiness.
She relished the sensation of sand between her toes, the soft grains shifting beneath her feet with each step she took. As she gazed out at the endless expanse of the ocean, the horizon stretched out before her like a canvas painted with shades of blue and gold. The waves lapped gently against the shore, a rhythmic lullaby that echoed the beating of her heart.
She slowly returned to the porch of a quaint cottage, the soft glow of sunset casting a warm embrace around her. Y/N could hear the front door to open when she carefully slumped down to one of the armchairs in the cosy living room.
“I’m home!”
His footsteps were steady and purposeful as he crossed the threshold, his presence filling the room with a sense of familiarity that tugged at the edges of Y/N’s consciousness.
“Hey, beautiful,” he greeted, his voice like a soft melody that danced through the air, sending shivers down her spine. He moved closer, his features slowly coming into focus as he stepped into the light.
Y/N’s breath caught in her throat as she met his gaze, her heart skipping a beat at the sight of him. His eyes were dark and intense, but filled with a warmth that made her pulse quicken with anticipation.
“How was your day?” she asked standing up again to greet him, her voice barely above a whisper as she took in his rugged appearance, the faint stubble lining his jaw, the way his hair fell effortlessly across his forehead.
“Been better, -”
“-hurried home to you, love,” he replied, his voice low and husky as he reached out to take her hand in his. His touch sent a jolt of electricity through her veins, igniting a fire deep within her soul. She feels such a strong connection to him, not stopping to think why.
Y/N’s eyes wandered around the room, overlooking the family portraits on a wall full of memories. Her fingers enveloped his dark soft hair, playing with them. As she caressed his hair, a sense of comfort washed over her, as if she had done this a thousand times before. The warmth of his hand in hers felt familiar, like coming home after a long journey.
He leaned in closer, his breath warm against her skin as he pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead. “And how is my sunshine?”
Y/N’s heart fluttered at the endearment, a warmth spreading through her chest at his words. She tilted her head up to meet his gaze, her eyes soft with affection as she smiled up at him.
“Missed you,” she replied, her voice barely above a whisper. His lips curved into a tender smile, his eyes glowing with adoration as he leaned in to press another kiss to her forehead.
“Did you?” he teased her.
Y/N felt her cheeks flush at his teasing tone, a smile tugging at the corners of her lips as she nodded in response.
“Of course, -” she replied, her voice filled with genuine affection. “You know I always miss you when you’re not home.”
He grinned at her words, his eyes sparkling with mischief as he reached up to tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ear.
“Well, we better fix that, love,” he said, his voice laced with warmth as he leaned in to press a lingering kiss to her lips. Y/N melted into his embrace, her heart fluttering with joy as she wrapped her arms around him, savouring the feeling of his lips against hers.
“Good enough?” He asked, his tone playful.
“Maybe a tiny bit more,” she murmured, her voice filled with love. A mischievous glint danced in his eyes as he pulled back slightly, a smirk playing on his lips.
“Is that so?” he teased again, his voice husky with desire. Without waiting for her response, he captured her lips in another searing kiss, his hands trailing down her sides, igniting a fire deep within her.
Y/N’s breath caught in her throat as she melted into his embrace, her fingers tangling in his hair as she deepened the kiss, losing herself in the intensity of their passion. In that moment, there was nothing else in the world but the two of them, their bodies pressed together in a perfect symphony of desire and longing.
“Seems like I can’t get enough of you, love,” he moaned to the kiss, his hand already travelling past her underwear to coat his fingers with her juices. The nearest wall served as a support column for her once she wrapped one of her legs around his waist, working on his suit pants.
With each touch, each caress, she felt herself slipping deeper into the abyss of desire, her body humming with pleasure as his fingers expertly explored her most intimate places. She gasped as he skilfully teased her, sending shivers of ecstasy coursing through her veins.
Hiking the hem of her dress up, the nearest table collided with her upper body, her hand spread over the width of the wood, gripping the edge forcefully. Within her, a fire burned bright, consuming her with a fervour she had never known before, as she surrendered herself completely.
“Such a pretty ass, -” slapping the soft skin with his palm he lowered to taste the juices she produced. Y/N’s free hand reached to press his head to her heat, moving her hips slightly to the rhythm of his tongue.
The feeling of his warm breath against her skin, the flick of his tongue, sent her spiralling into ecstasy. Her hand gripped the edge of the table tighter, her knuckles turning white as she surrendered herself completely to the pleasure. She arched her back, pushing herself closer to him, craving more of his touch, more of his intoxicating taste.
With each flick of his tongue, she felt herself getting closer and closer to the edge, the fire within her burning brighter with each passing moment. Before she could release with a loud moan he slapped the other cheek, turning her over while he straightened himself behind her, chuckling at her frustration once he did so. With a hunger that bordered on desperation, he positioned himself, his hands roaming over her curves as he leaned in close, his breath hot against her ear.
“Is my baby needy?” a soft whimper came out of her, she nodded, her heart pounding in her chest as she craved more of his touch, more of his intoxicating presence.
“Yes, -” she whispered, her voice barely above a breath as she pressed her hips back against him, desperate for the connection she knew only he could provide.
With a swift movement, he entered her from behind, eliciting a gasp of pleasure from her lips. The sensation of him filling her, stretching her in all the right ways, sent waves of addiction coursing through her body. His movements slow and deliberate as he fills her completely. Y/N’s breath caught in her throat as she felt him moving inside her, each thrust sending waves of pleasure crashing over her.
“Fuck!” She had to curse out loud, biting her lip. The room was filled with loud moans and groans, the audible skin to skin contact as he raised the tempo, his hand pressing her head to the table.
As he moved in perfect harmony, Y/N felt a sense of bliss wash over her, her body trembling with pleasure as she surrendered herself completely to the moment. With each thrust, she felt herself teetering on the edge of ecstasy, her senses heightened by the raw intensity of their desire.
“You’re such a good girl, -”
She tightened around him, her nails digging into the wooden surface of the table. His groans became louder with each snap of his hips to her welcoming heat and Y/N could not help but bite down her lip, painful yelp filled with the backdrop of pleasure leaving her mouth as he continued to hit all the right places.
A primal growl resonated as he buried himself deeper inside her, feeling her walls clenching around him, urging him closer to the brink.
With one final thrust, they both reached the pinnacle of their desire, their bodies exploding in a symphony of ecstasy. Y/N’s back arched, a guttural cry escaping her lips as waves of orgasm washed over her, engulfing her in a whirlwind of bliss.
He groaned loudly, his release echoing hers as he emptied himself inside of her, their connection deepening with each pulsating wave of pleasure.
As they slowly came down from their euphoric high, Y/N’s breaths came in ragged gasps, her body still trembling with aftershocks. She turned to him, her eyes glazed with satisfaction, a lazy smile playing on her lips.
“A bath, shall we?” Y/N’s head twitched to the side, thinking why this trivial sentence sounds way too familiar. Shaking it off she pressed her damaged lips to his with a pleased hum as agreement.
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Time seemed to slow as Yoongi lunged forward, reaching out to stop her, but it was too late. The blade sliced through her skin, leaving a trail of crimson in its wake.
Y/N’s breath caught in her throat as pain seared through her, her vision swimming with darkness. She felt Yoongi’s hands on her throat, his panicked voice calling out, but it was too distant, as if coming from a faraway place.
“Seokjin?!!” he shouted; his voice raw with desperation.
He cradled her in his arms, his hands trembling as he pressed against the wound, trying desperately to stem the flow of blood.
The sound of loud footsteps echoed in the corridor as others rushed forward to reach the doctor, their expressions a mix of horror and disbelief. But amidst the chaos, Y/N’s empty gaze remained fixed on Yoongi, her eyes still burning with flames.
“Stay with me, baby. Don’t leave me please.” Yoongi whispered, his voice cracking with emotion. He pressed his lips to her forehead, willing her to hold on, to fight for her life.
But as he looked down at her pale, lifeless face, he knew that the road ahead would be long and fraught with challenges. For now, all he could do was pray that she would survive, that she would find the strength to forgive him, and that they would someday find their way back to each other.
“Please don’t take her away from me, my Lord.”
Yoongi prayed that it was not too late to save her from the darkness that threatened to consume them both.
One thing remained clear in Yoongi’s mind: he would do whatever it took to save her, to make amends for the pain he had caused, and to prove to her that his love was worth fighting for.
Yoongi’s voice cut through the turmoil, his words a desperate plea for forgiveness. He begged for her to forgive him, to give him another chance to make things right. No more secrets, no more lies. No more pain. He was willing to rebuild their relationship from the ground up, on a foundation of honesty and trust.
The metallic scent of blood mingled with the tang of fear, thickening the air with a palpable sense of impending doom. He ripped one of his sleeves a while ago, pressing the roughly crumpled fabric to the wound, praying that Seokjin is near, or that anyone heard him scream frantically enough to relay the message.
“You can’t leave me, baby, please. I promise we’ll work everything through.”
He kissed and caressed her hair with his free hand that was covered with her blood. Tears blurred his vision as his hand trembled at the sight. A blood he never wished to shed.
“Please, Y/N, you have to forgive me.” The weight of his actions pressed down on him like a leaden blanket, suffocating him with the weight of his mistakes.
“Fucking goddammit, Yoongi!”
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Y/N set the plates on the table, pouring the hot water into a kettle of green tea as he joined her at the table. They exchanged smiles, the morning sun casting a warm glow over the kitchen and the windows providing a magnificent view of the sea.
“I’ve been thinking, -” she said with a smile on her face while she set the seaweed salad down in front of him. He hummed in response, reading today’s paper.
“About opening my own practice.” He nodded, sipping his tea thoughtfully.
“Thought you wanted to wait until the babe arrives?”
Y/N’s breath caught in her throat at his words, her mind spinning with confusion. A baby? What baby was he talking about? Her mouth seemed to work without the help of her mind. As if she was a mere observer, not the main character.
“I know. I know. But I can’t shake the feeling that now is the right time. I want to create something for myself too. Daddy's successful, why shouldn’t Mommy be successful too?”
Lifting his eyes from the paper, he reached across the table, his touch gentle as he took her hand.
“Opening a practice is a big step, especially with a baby on the way.”
She knew this was going to be hard, but she was determined to build herself a name too. And help those who can’t help themselves.
But as she looked into his eyes, she noticed a subtle yet unmistakable change. A faint scar marred his eye, tracing from above his eyebrow to his cheekbone. Y/N was certain it wasn’t there before.
“How are you feeling? Can you feel the babe moving?” he asked, his eyes softening with concern as he gently brushed his hand against her stomach. Y/N gulped down, trying to shush all the thoughts that echoed in her mind.
“He’s been active today,” she replied, her voice trembling slightly as she placed her hand on her growing stomach, feeling the gentle flutter of movement beneath her palm. “I think he’s just as eager to be with his Daddy as I am.”
The man’s eyes widened with surprise at her words, his expression softening with emotion as he took in the sight of her. And in that moment, as the sun dipped below the horizon and painted the room with hues of pink and gold, Y/N felt a sense of peace wash over her.
She cradled her swollen belly with tenderness, feeling the gentle flutter of life within. The promise of new beginnings and the joy of impending motherhood enveloped her in a cocoon of love and warmth.
But she couldn’t shake the feeling of unease that settled in the pit of her stomach. Something doesn’t feel right, and she can’t help but wonder what he’s hiding.
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The door slammed wide open, Seokjin’s voice was soar, his breathing frantic from running. His expression grave as he took in the scene before him.
Seokjin wasted no time, his training kicking in as he rushed to Y/N’s side, his hands moving with practised efficiency as he assessed her injuries. Yoongi watched in silent desperation, his heart pounding in his chest as he prayed for Seokjin to work his magic and save the woman he loved.
“You have to save her, Seokjin-hyung,-” Seokjin never saw Yoongi in a condition like this since his parents died and never thought he would ever again.
“She would lose too much blood if we attempted to transport her now, but I need my shit, Yoongi,” his tone was urgent and commanding as he took charge of the situation. “Get me my briefcase, hot water and towels, -”
As Seokjin worked to staunch the flow of blood, Yoongi hovered nearby, his eyes never leaving Y/N’s face as he whispered words of encouragement and prayer. He couldn’t bear the thought of losing her, of facing a future without her by his side.
“Yoongi, snap out of it and get it! I left it in the sunroom,” Seokjin left in hurry once a distant cry of his leader echoed at the first floor. He was sure that everyone outside of the celebrating banquet room heard it.
Yoongi nodded in a mixture of desperation and determination, scrambling to his feet as he absorbed Seokjin’s instructions. His mind raced as he mentally registered each item Seokjin urgently needed. In the tumultuous atmosphere, Yoongi rushed out of the room, his steps echoing in the corridor as he desperately sought the necessary supplies.
“What happened Yoongi?” Hoseok rose from his seat in the sunroom walking towards the dishevelled state of his friend. Yoongi did not even register him as he frantically searched for Seokjin’s briefcase. Reaching out to get it with his bloodied hands his ears miffily caught the younger Miss Wang’s anxious voice.
“Whose blood it is, Kkangpae Min?”
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She couldn’t ignore the nagging feeling that something was amiss. The scar on his eye screamed volumes to her, yet her mind could not put things together and decipher what it wanted to tell her and why she does not recall that her husband had a scar like that. Where would a businessman come to get hurt this way? She couldn’t shake the feeling that her husband’s explanation didn’t quite add up. She stared at the scar on his face, her thoughts swirling with confusion and doubt.
“What do you mean, baby? I’ve always had it.” Said he, setting down the hat from his head, running his finger through the dark locks, pushing them back from his face.
But try as she might, she couldn’t recall ever seeing that scar before. It wasn’t just a minor detail that had slipped her mind—it was as if her memory had been rewritten, leaving her with a sense of disorientation and unease.
“Always?” she echoed, her voice barely a whisper as she struggled to comprehend what he was saying. Following him to his office where he lifted the briefcase to put it on the table while she slumped down next to the unlit fireplace.
“I don’t understand,” she murmured, her eyes fixed on the scar as if searching for answers.
He reached out, gently taking her hand in his, his touch a comforting anchor in the midst of her confusion, and she did not understand why the scar evokes so many feelings inside her, yet his touch calms her.
“You traced it with your fingers when we first made love, baby, I can assure it has been there for a very long time.” She tried to grasp onto the fragments of memory, to recall the moment he spoke of, but it eluded her like a fading dream.
“I want to remember,” she whispered, her voice barely audible above the tumult of her thoughts, “it feels so... significant.”
“Memories can be elusive, maybe it’s because of the accident?” he murmured, his voice soothing.
“An accident?”
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“You are fucking lucky she did it with a stupid letter opener, it seems like it did not manage to do as big of a damage as a regular knife would.”
His brow furrowed with concentration, his hands moving with practised precision as he worked to staunch the flow of blood and assess the extent of her injuries.
“She scraped over her artery, not much but enough to slow the blood flow to her brain. I need to close the wound as soon as possible.”
Seokjin’s words hit Yoongi like a physical blow, sending a shiver of fear down his spine. The gravity of the situation weighed heavily on him as he realised the severity of Y/N’s injuries. The thought of her life hanging in the balance sent a wave of panic coursing through him, but he forced himself to focus, to push aside his fear and uncertainty.
“She did not reach her windpipe, nor did she cut herself deep enough, thank God for that Yoongi.”
He never fell out of God’s grace, and he hoped he wouldn't do so now. His hand intertwined with hers as he whispered words of love and hope into the stillness of the room. Minutes felt like hours as the doctor carefully disinfected the wound to reduce the risk of infection. The stitches are precise.
“Why is she not awake, Seokjin?” He asked carefully, awaiting the worst. Seokjin’s expression softened briefly as he glanced up from his work, meeting Yoongi’s anxious gaze with empathy in his eyes.
“She lost quite some blood, Yoongi.”
“I understand-,” Yoongi murmured, his voice barely above a whisper as he squeezed Y/N’s hand tighter, as if to anchor her to this world. “But she’s strong, Seokjin-hyung. She’ll pull through this, right?” Seokjin offered a small nod of agreement, his eyes reflecting a mixture of empathy and determination. If only he had been more attentive, more willing to listen and understand, perhaps they wouldn’t be facing this crisis now.
“I should have done more,” Yoongi murmured, his voice heavy with remorse.
“You know, this would probably never happen if you would let me ease her mind in the beginning.”
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The warm water cascaded over their bodies. He was holding her and her naked body in a tight embrace. The flickering candlelight casting a soft glow upon their entwined forms.
His hands roamed over Y/N’s skin, she arched her back in response, a soft moan escaping her lips as he trailed kisses along her neck, his lips leaving a trail of fire in their wake. His touch sends shivers of pleasure coursing through her veins.
She moaned softly against his lips as he teased her, sending waves of pleasure coursing through her whole body. Y/N reached between them, her hand finding his manhood, firm and ready for her touch. She grasped him firmly, feeling his arousal pulse beneath her fingertips.
“Fuck, love, —” he moaned loudly, a raw expression of his pleasure and desire as she brought him closer to the edge. She followed the rhythm he settled for, stroking his manhood.
Y/N first felt the warm stream of his ejaculation before she heard his throaty moan of her name and then she could feel his fingers deeper in her than before, moving faster until she saw the stars too.
So, is this how love feels?
Her fingers slowly traced the faded scar from a wound on her neck she couldn’t quite remember when it appeared on her body nor how it came to that. Closing her eyes, trying to recall and dig up any memory that would help her and ease her confusion turned out unfruitful.
“Good night, Dove-” Her eyes snapped open hearing his voice. She felt his lips press into her cheek, one hand caressing her belly. Y/N’s lenses took in the change of surroundings. She’s in bed that feels like home as if she was sleeping in it for years. Clutching the silk duvet she looked at him. The scar is still present on his face, calling to her. He looked so calm, at peace, falling asleep with a smile on his face.
Dove. The word echoed in her mind, stirring up fragmented memories that danced just beyond her reach. It was a name she couldn’t recall ever being called before, yet it felt right, as if it belonged to her in ways she couldn’t comprehend.
Everything around her felt right yet so wrong at the same time. The soft crackling of fire, soft wind blowing outside and the symphony the crickets created. It was nighttime. A day went by, and she could not remember what she was doing for all the hours after breakfast.
Her hands slipped down to caress her belly with a stranger inside. Her hand slowly moved to cover his. Holding it felt somehow right, even though her mind was saying otherwise. The only thing that was wrong yet felt right was her helplessness, her indecisiveness, her unawareness. She was a prisoner of her mind and her body. This life felt surreal, sweet, and endearing, musing to her to live it without doubt. But doubts she had. Is this what her mind thought life would be? The more she thought about it, the more she felt like this projection is what her sound heart and mind longed for. This is what she wanted.
Love, happiness, and-
“Why do you call me that?” She asked suddenly, leaving her mind to speak to him. His eyes fluttered open to lovingly gaze at her. He pulled his hand from under hers, gently took it to intertwine their fingers together.
“What do you mean?” with a gentle smile playing on his lips, he whispered. The flickering firelight danced across their intertwined hands, casting shadows that seemed to whisper untold stories and shared moments.
“Why do you call me Dove?” She searched his eyes for answers.
“Because you brought peace to my heart, -”
“-and my world.”
His gaze held hers, a depth of emotion swirling within those familiar eyes that she couldn’t quite place. The doubts and uncertainties that had clouded her mind seemed to fade away, replaced by a deep sense of trust and acceptance. At least, for now.
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“Are you satisfied now? Hm?” The widow’s steps and words were aimed at the man she loathes. Her brother is laying at the sanitorium’s metal beds, a fractured skull and internal bleeding to be treated. They fear he might have been admitted far too late as Doctor Kim’s priority was the lady of the house.
They are to relieve pressure on the brain caused by the fractured skull and to stop the internal bleeding. They did not tell his older sister anything else. It was a horrific picture of her brother’s head being immobilised to prevent further injury, a trepanation has been done to prevent severe head trauma, his face swollen from all the hits he took from his leader. All for the Kkangpae’s selfish act of desire for his loved one to obey.
She stopped in front of the man whose face was puffy and eyes bright red from all the tears he shredded for his loved one. Now he cries. Daiyu’s mind could not understand the notorious man Min Yoongi is. Nor any of the men of Min Clan. Their women are weeping, yet the reason is not what they assume it is. They weep because of them. Because of the pain they brought upon them. The pain they’ll never admit that ever was there.
“You ruined us all, Yoongi.” No honorific for a man that has done so much damage to her family. He stood there without looking her in the eye and quietly apologising for his doings.
“Missus Park,-” he attempted to raise his voice above the line so she could hear him.
“My mother gave me up to your clan during the first war and after years I made my peace with that, -” he listened to her, standing there like he was the victim.
“Yet you were cocky enough to ask for more?” Her words are laced with bitterness and anger, fuelled by the injustice she feels at the hands of the Min Clan. She vows to never forgive him for the harm he has wrought.
“And yet again my mother gave up Y/N too. But that’s not quite right, hm?” The widow’s heart remains hardened, her anger burning bright as she refuses to grant him absolution for his sins.
“You think you and the rest of your hooligans are clever? Abducting women and forcing them to elope.” A heavy silence descends upon the room, broken only by the muffled sounds of distant footsteps echoing through the hotel corridor. Yoongi is letting her relieve her anger on him. He deserves it.
“Missus Park, I think you’d rather be at your brother’s side, don’t you think?” A smooth low voice echoes right beside her. She turned slowly to face the source, her eyes narrowing with suspicion. Standing there, with an air of quiet confidence, was a man she recognized all too well – Kim Taehyung, a trusted associate of the Min Clan.
“You.” She said with venom in her voice. Her lips tightened into a thin line as she regarded him, his presence only adding to the tension in the room. She knew all too well the power and influence he wielded, and she braced herself for whatever he had to say.
“Hyung, go inside, she might wake up any moment now. She’s been through a lot; you should make sure she’s taken care of-”
“How dare you say that!” Daiyu’s voice got an octave higher when she accused the consigliere.
“This is not the time or place for your interference, Missus Park.” Taehyung said, his voice calm but tinged with a hint of warning.
“We all have been through a lot because of you!”
“What on earth you did to make Xiaoli love you so blindly, -” Taehyung’s lips curved into a faint smirk, but there was a hardness in his eyes that belied his demeanour. He took a step closer, his gaze never leaving hers. But she refused to be intimidated. She knew that Taehyung’s influence over Xiaoli was a dangerous one and her mind was bothered numerous times.
“Your mother was not as smart as the clans perceived her after all.” The widow’s jaw clenched with anger as Kim Taehyung’s words cut through the air.
“You dare speak of my mother?” she spat, her voice trembling with fury. “You and your ilk have no right to claim any semblance of intelligence. You prey on the vulnerable and the innocent, twisting their minds and hearts to serve your own selfish desires-”
“The nature of our private affairs are not something you have the right to be noisy about, Missus Park.” His tone dripped with disdain as he stared at the widow with cold indifference. Daiyu’s fists clenched at her sides, her nails digging into her palms as she struggled to contain her anger.
“You and your clan have caused nothing but pain and suffering, and yet you have the audacity to stand here and lecture me about privacy?”
Taehyung’s smirk widened; his eyes gleaming with amusement at her outburst. He took another step closer, invading her personal space with an air of arrogance that made her skin crawl.
“We operate by our own rules, Missus Park,” he said, his voice low and menacing. “And if you value your brother’s life, you will do well to remember that.”
“This is far from being over. Once my brother recovers, I’m taking them both and Xiaoli to America.”
“Is that so?” he replied, his tone laced with scepticism. Taehyung’s expression darkened at her words, his jaw tightening with barely concealed rage. For a moment, it seemed as though he might lash out in anger, but then he seemed to regain control of himself, his features smoothing into a mask of icy calm.
“You’re welcome to take your brother and go to the far far land but my fiancé and Buin will stay put, end of the discussion, Missus Park. Or do I need to take any precautions — how’s your son?”
She knew all too well the lengths to which the Min Clan would go to protect their interests, and the thought of her son being caught in the crossfire filled her with a sense of dread.
“You wouldn’t dare,” she spat, her voice trembling with a mixture of anger and fear. “You wouldn’t lay a hand on my son.”
“Oh, of course not, we’re not child-killers, Missus Park. But you wouldn’t want me to make sure they take him away as you’re clearly unstable to raise a child.” Taehyung’s smirk returned, his eyes glinting with malice as he leaned in closer, his breath hot against her ear.
“You all are fucking monsters.” She spit his way and with a flick of fear in her eyes she turns away to storm down the hallways back to the waiting car that will take her to the sanitorium.
The flickering candlelight cast dancing shadows on the walls, lending an eerie atmosphere to the hushed conversation that unfolded.
Yoongi’s brow furrowed with concern as he glanced at Y/N, her delicate features softened in sleep. He was holding her small hand in his large one, refusing to leave her side.
“Hyung, do you think she could be pregnant?” he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper, mindful of the gravity of their discussion. Seokjin and Namjoon exchanged a solemn glance, their expressions reflecting the weight of Yoongi’s question.
The older man did not want his brother to be in more pain than he already is.
“It’s certainly possible, —” Seokjin replied softly, his gaze shifting to Y/N’s still form.
“—yet, it’s way too soon to tell.” Namjoon nodded in agreement, his eyes lingering on Y/N with a mixture of concern and hope.
“Her health and recovery must remain our primary focus.”
A sense of apprehension settled over Yoongi as the reality of their situation sank in. The prospect of impending fatherhood filled him with both excitement and trepidation. His hand possessively slipped under the duvet, caressing her belly with a tender touch. Leaning down, he pressed a gentle kiss to her hand, a silent vow of love and protection that lingered in the quiet of the room.
He was determined to never fail her again.
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Y/N found herself drifting into a state of peaceful slumber, the gentle rhythm of his breathing lulling her into a sense of security she hadn’t known before. A feeling that was for a long time foreign.
Yet, even as sleep beckoned her towards its welcoming arms, a nagging sense of unease lingered at the edge of her consciousness. It was as though a faint whisper echoed through the chambers of her mind.
Images flickered in the darkness, fleeting glimpses of faces and places she couldn’t quite place. It was like trying to catch hold of smoke, the harder she tried to grasp onto them, the more they slipped through her fingers.
And then, amidst the chaos of her mind, a single image emerged from the depths of her subconscious—a flash of silver amidst the darkness, a glimmer of recognition that sent a jolt of electricity coursing through her veins.
As Y/N’s dreams began to swirl with fragments of memories she herself did not recognise, she found herself waking with a start, the remnants of a haunting nightmare still lingering in her mind. The boundaries between reality and illusion blurring in the hazy mist of slumber. Beside her, the man stirred, his gaze filled with concern as he noticed the tension in her features.
“Are you alright?” he asked, his voice soft yet filled with a quiet intensity that spoke volumes.
“It was just a bad dream-” she admitted, her voice barely above a whisper.
He nodded, his expression understanding as he reached out to gently brush away the stray strands of hair that clung to her face. “Nightmares are just the mind’s way of processing the chaos of the world,” he said, his words carrying a weight of wisdom born from years of introspection. “-the unwanted reality we dare not to accept,” he slowly caressed her cheek.
“Sometimes, facing our fears head-on is the only way to conquer them.”
“I know,” she replied, her voice steady despite the lingering unease that gnawed at the edges of her consciousness. “It feels like the nightmares are trying to tell me something, -”
“Perhaps they are,” he said, his tone tinged with a hint of curiosity.
“What do you mean?” She asked, shrinking her eyebrows.
“Wake up, little Dove.”
“I don’t want to wake up, Yoongi. I’m wide awake.” Her words proceeded her mind once she uttered them.
Yoongi. Only now she realised that she never uttered his name out loud this whole time. His name is Yoongi. She recognises him now, but this man is not the one she married.
This man is the one the other will never be.
“Are you?”
The warmth of the bed was replaced by the sterile chill of a sanitised room, the soft breathing beside her now replaced by the distant sound of metal clinking against itself.
Her eyes fluttered open to meet the gaze of Seokjin, the doctor who had been overseeing her treatment. There was a sombreness in his eyes, a depth of understanding that spoke of the gravity of the situation.
Her initial reaction wasn’t one of shock or panic but rather a stoic silence whilst she looked around the room. Just yet. That was giving the young doctor a hunch that her mind is stronger than anyone ever thought it is.
“Y/N,-” he began, his voice gentle yet firm. He carefully placed the file he was holding in his hand back to the nightstand next to the bed. Seokjin didn’t want to trigger her. He needed her to be as calm as possible.
“What did you do to me?” A hoarse broken voice laced with pain echoed in the room. It was barely heard and the immense pain on the side of her throat got her head spinning. The sight of Yoongi’s rage-filled eyes flooded back to her mind, the desperation of her attempt to protect Kai from his wrath. She instinctively reached up to touch the bandages that now adorned her neck, wincing.
“You mean, what did you do to yourself?” he replied softly, his words heavy with implication.
Y/N felt a wave of nausea wash over her as the reality of her actions sunk in. The realisation that she had tried to take her own life filled her with a sense of profound despair.
“I didn’t mean to,” she whispered, her voice trembling with emotion. “There was no stopping him. He would have—” it was hard to swallow, it was harder to breathe, painful to speak and just like countless times before, it was harder to see through the tears.
“Is Kai alive?” she choked out, her voice barely above a whisper. Seokjin met her gaze with a solemn nod, Y/N felt a sliver of hope pierce through the darkness that had consumed her. Perhaps, amidst the chaos, there was still a chance for redemption, for healing.
“He’s going to make a full recovery in a few weeks,” he said softly, his words a balm to her wounded spirit.
“But you need to heal too—”
Tears welled in her eyes as she nodded in silent agreement, the weight of her own pain pressing down upon her like a burden too heavy to bear.
“Little birdie sang that you promised to make a snowman with a certain little man.” The little boy was a reminder of the love and happiness that still existed in her life despite the darkness that surrounded her.
“Can I sleep some more?”
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Before she managed to drift back to sleep, Seokjin quietly went about checking her vitals, his experienced hands moving with precision as he monitored her condition. With a deep sigh, he made a mental note to bring her iron pills to help replenish the blood she had lost. Looking at her bandaged neck, he couldn’t shake the feeling that her academic background would totally exclude the possibility that this petite woman wouldn’t know how to kill herself with that one swipe of a letter opener if she aimed correctly. And that made Seokjin suspicious of the young Buin’s intentions and endorsed him into believing that after all, the girl still has some fire to burn and will to live. She just needed good guidance, he thought.
“How is she?” The Kkangpae rushed to approach him once he closed the door to his office. It was very hard to convince him to leave her side. She was asleep for a while and Seokjin did not advise on waking her up anytime soon until she woke up herself. With conflicting emotions, he turned to face his dishevelled form.
“She wants to sleep some more, otherwise she’s stable, but—” Seokjin replied, his voice tinged with weariness.
“—she’s lost a significant amount of blood so I’m going to have her take iron pills—”
The Kkangpae’s brow furrowed in worry, his gaze flickering back to the closed door behind Seokjin.
“I want to see her,” he said, his voice tinged with desperation when he interrupted his Hyung.
Seokjin hesitated for a moment, weighing the risks of disturbing Y/N’s rest against the Kkangpae’s obvious concern. Ultimately, he decided to trust his instincts.
“We need to talk first, Yoongi.” Seokjin said firmly. The Kkangpae nodded reluctantly, his shoulders slumping with defeat. Not happy with Seokjin’s stalling. Nonetheless, Seokjin could sense the tension radiating off him, the weight of guilt and fear pressing down on his shoulders.
“You pushed her way too far, Yoongi—” the doctor begins, slumping down to the low cushion sofa looking at the faded yet evident scraped puddle of blood on the wooden floor.
“I want you to consider me helping her.”
Yoongi’s blood ran cold at the mention of such a drastic measure to be taken. He knew of the doctor practising such methods and he knew of them being successful once two living and walking examples were among them.
“We’ve talked about this Seokjin, and I declined your offer. She doesn’t need it.”
Seokjin’s gaze hardened, his eyes locking onto Yoongi's with unwavering intensity.
“Are you ever going to accept the truth Yoongi? She is suffering here!” Yoongi’s jaw tightened; his fists clenched at his sides as he fought to control the rising tide of emotions threatening to overwhelm him. He knew that Seokjin was right. But he was also still the selfish man he was before.
“She’s my responsibility, Seokjin,” Yoongi said quietly, his voice barely above a whisper. “I’ll find another way to help her. I won’t let you do this to her unless it will be absolutely necessary.”
Seokjin’s expression softened, a flicker of empathy shining in his eyes as he reached out to place a hand on Yoongi’s shoulder. “I know you love her, Yoongi,” he said gently. “But sometimes, loving means making difficult decisions for the greater good.”
Yoongi couldn’t continue to bury his head in the sand, hoping that Y/N’s pain and suffering would simply disappear on its own and perhaps the moment she heals she’ll be capable of falling in love with him just like he did.
“Just how long can you go without your love being reciprocated?”
Seokjin’s question echoed in Yoongi’s mind, a painful reminder of the unrequited love that had tormented him for so long.
He couldn’t bear the thought of robbing her of her identity, of erasing the very essence of who she was. The essence he loved her for. But now, faced with the prospect of losing her altogether, Yoongi couldn’t bear the thought of erasing the very qualities that had drawn him to her in the first place. He loved her for her fire, for the strength and passion that burned within her.
He wanted to keep her flame alive.
How ironic, isn’t it?
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Waking up again felt even worse than the first time. The dizziness remained and a strong feeling of fatigue only reminded her of what she had called upon herself. The bed seemed to mock her with its warmth, the pillow unyielding beneath her. It was a bit firmer for some reason and a heartbeat echoed in her ears.
Her hand went up the sheets until another hand fell upon hers. The bed was not warmer, the pillow was not firmer and the heartbeat she hears isn’t hers. The fingers, adorned with cold metal rings that now laid on top of her smaller hand squeezed hers in firmer grip. What was supposed to be a comforting touch seemed like shackles to Y/N.
Y/N gulped down, trying to not slap his hand right away just like she wanted to. The pit in her stomach was larger and larger. She did not know what to expect from him. Is he going to punish her? Is he mad? Does he have the right to be mad? Of course not. But for what is to come, Y/N would rather him mad and angry.
“I am so sorry, little Dove.”
His voice shattered her thoughts and Y/N’s eyes stayed wide open, just staring up front. He was holding her laying form on his chest and she could feel his other hand caressing her back. He held her way too close, as if trying to mend what he had broken with his other hand.
“I thought I was going lose you,” he choked out, confessing, his grip tightening. She pulled away with swift movement, sitting up to confront him and look down on his half laying form.
“You’ve almost killed him, and the only remorse you feel is for me?!”
Her weak voice trembled with a mixture of anger and disbelief, her eyes flashing with hurt as she confronted him. Her vocal cords were not as damaged, yet her throat was too sore for her voice to be heard fully. The weight of his actions hung heavy in the air, suffocating the space between them. Guilt etching lines on his face as he met her accusing gaze. He opened his mouth to speak, but the words seemed to catch in his throat.
“The words you said before, back home, got to me, and I lost control. I did not mean for any of this, Dove. I am genuinely sorry,” he finally managed to utter, his voice thick with regret. His eyes pleaded for her understanding, begging for forgiveness in the face of his unforgivable mistake.
Despite the hurt and betrayal, she felt a small part of her longed to believe him, to believe that he was capable of change. But she knew very well that the Yoongi starring in her dreams is a completely different man. The scars of his actions ran deep, leaving behind wounds that could not be easily healed.
“You crushed his skull, Yoongi,” she said with a stone-cold anger, her voice laced with an icy fury that sent shivers down his spine. He messed up.
“And I shall do everything to redeem myself. I love you, baby-” He knew he had to make things right, to earn back her trust and repair the damage he had done. How could he earn something back if it was never there?
“You don’t love me, Yoongi. You love the idea of having me under your control!” Each syllable drips with bitterness and resentment. He lifted himself on his elbows to look closer to her teary eyes. They reflected so much pain and sorrow.
“You know that’s not true. I’ll do anything for you.” He insisted, his voice trembling with sincerity as he reached out to gently wipe away her tears whence she slapped his hand off.
“Don’t fucking touch me,” she spat, her voice sharp with venom. She stood up, putting distance between them, but he refused to let her go. The weight of his actions had left her wounded, her trust shattered beyond repair. She could no longer bear the false promises and empty gestures that had become their relationship.
“Did I have to reach the edge of despair for you to wake up?” Her words cut through the silence, echoing with the pain of her betrayal.
“I was scared of losing you,” His voice trailed off, the weight of her accusation hitting him like a ton of bricks. He struggled to find the right words to express the depth of his fear and regret, knowing that no apology could ever fully erase the pain he had caused.
“You never had me to begin with.” She said, her voice filled with finality. But he wouldn’t accept it. The ancient melody, the notes that echoed in the silence, screamed, full of wounds that will never heal.
“Promise me you’ll never do that again, love. Hurt me, not yourself.” He pleaded again trying to reach her, his voice breaking with emotion as he reached out to grasp her trembling hands, hoping against hope that she would find it in her heart to forgive him, to give their love another chance. He cannot let her words get to him again.
“Again?!-” she retorted, her voice laced with disbelief and incredulity. She wondered if he’s even worthy of her pretending. Her hands went to hit his chest, pushing him away from her.
“-You think there’s going to be fucking again, Yoongi?!” Her words were sharp, cutting through the air with the finality of a verdict. A flying cup shattered right next to his head. He did not even register when she took it into her hands and threw it at him, missing him just by a few inches.
“I’ll do anything to have you by my side. Dove, I beg you.” Min Yoongi pleaded, his voice breaking again. On his knees, Min Yoongi bowed his head in remorse.
“You’ll never change, Yoongi.” The weight of disappointment was evident in her words as she turned away, unable to bear the sight of him at that moment. But the selfish side of Min Yoongi wouldn’t let her do that.
He grabbed her by her waist and pulled her close, not leaving an inch between them.
“I can’t fucking live without you-” his voice cracked, raw with desperation and longing, tears welled up in his eyes, begging for her to understand the depth of his love.
“-without those arms,” he continued, his voice softening with the memories of their intimacy.
“-full cheeks-”
“-lips,” he whispered, each word a plea for her to see the love and longing in his eyes.
“Yoongi, I cannot do this anymore.”
Yoongi felt his heart drop like a heavy weight in his chest. He collapsed onto his knees before her, his arms wrapping desperately around her delicate frame.
“I’m so tired of the pain in my chest,” she admitted, her voice trembling with vulnerability.
He had pushed her too far, hurt her too deeply, and now he stood on the precipice of losing her forever.
“I was ready to die—”
“I’m so fucking sorry, Dove” he whispered, his voice barely audible above the tumult of emotions raging inside him. Y/N glanced at his trembling hands and thought about his words for a second. Contemplating his sincerity.
It was his eyes this time that cried. The endearment sounds different coming from this version of Yoongi. It felt so distant from the Yoongi she had once met in her dreams. The man he’ll never be.
“I can make it better. Just let me in and I’ll show you how happy we can be.” Min Yoongi promised, his eyes filled with sincerity. He’s haunted by the knowledge that he just might have let the love of his life slip through his fingers.
“You’re really that delusional, aren’t you?” Y/N questioned; her voice laced with disbelief.
“Aren’t we all? -” Min Yoongi replied, his voice tinged with resignation. “I’m willing to do whatever it takes to make things right. Please, give me another chance.”
Y/N remained silent; her expression guarded as she wrestled with her own emotions. Her mind swirled with thoughts and even when she tried to say something, an inaudible cry of frustration, sadness and anger was heard.
Min Yoongi slumped down to his knees, holding her small hands in his. Looking at her with hope in his eyes.
“I beg you.” He pleaded once more for her forgiveness. His eyes searched hers, hoping to find even the smallest glimmer of something that would tell him that he’ll manage to woo her right this time.
If she could walk away, she would do it right now. But this isn’t her que to leave the scene. Just not yet. Be patient.
“Your beloved God shall decide upon your fate, Yoongi-”
“Upon the fate of us,” she continued to preach.
“What do you—”
“Should God spare his life, I’ll consider forgiving you,” she interrupted, her voice firm.
“Then let it be so,” he said, his voice filled with determination and hope.
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Y/N was clutching the delicate cup of tea in her hands whilst her eyes remained fixed on the outside surroundings of the hotel. Riling herself up was something she was told to seize. Yet, there she stands, ready to run outside any minute.
“He’s trying, you know,” Xiaoli said softly, following Y/N’s gaze. “In his own way, he’s trying to make things right.”
The sight was both heart-warming and heartbreaking, a glimpse of the man he used to be and the man he could still be.
“Well, he certainly knows how to evoke emotional damage.” Y/N sighed, her eyes lingering on Yoongi’s figure adorned in a warm coat. His hands were covered with leather gloves that protected him from the frostbiting cold snow.
“People can heal.”
“Some wounds run too deep to heal completely,” Y/N glanced at Xiaoli, her eyes searching for understanding that she will most likely never find.
“Love has a way of healing even the deepest wounds-” Xiaoli reached out, placing a comforting hand on Y/N’s arm. Y/N scoffed, her eyes never leaving the Kkangpae and her little brother Bo Cheng. Building a snowman. It was a picture of normalcy; his current actions were mocking the magnitude of his power and acts he performed to obtain it.
Min Yoongi was on top of the world. One day, the prime minister of Japan expresses his gratitude for clearing the Yakuza clan and unburdening the country, the other, he’s powerless when the woman he chose to be his companion throughout life, and what’s after, paints the floor red with her own blood.
“Relax, Y/N Buin.” The other voice echoed from the other side of the room. She was clutching the cup way too tightly, making her knuckles go white. She hated when people called her Buin. It did not evoke power in Y/N, rather the opposite. It was a reminder that she is the lady of this clan because Yoongi forced her into this position.
The room felt heavy with tension, each word from Xiaoli pulling at the raw edges of her emotions. The far away sound of Bo Cheng’s laughter when he threw a large snowball Yoongi’s way.
“You did not see him that day,” Y/N finally spoke, her voice barely above a whisper, filled with pain and regret.
“The darkness in him consumed him.”
“I saw him after that—”
“-He’s trying to make amends now,” Xiaoli said gently, her hand tightening around Y/N’s.
“I wish I could believe that he’s capable of change, Xiaoli.” The rustle of newspaper reminded her of the other presence in the room. The consigliere silently worked at the table, overviewing contracts Y/N daren’t deem anything but legal. The other man present in the room was now folding the said newspapers, standing up and walking in the direction where Xiaoli and Y/N stood by the large window.
“Never in my entire fucking life I have thought that I will see Min fucking Yoongi build a snowman-” Hoseok spat out jokingly, his disbelief evident. There was even a hint of amusement in his eyes.
Y/N’s grip on the teacup relaxed slightly, but her gaze remained fixed on the scene outside the whole time.
“He just might be able to change, we all do-” he began, leaning down to her height level, admiring the velvet rose pins holding her hair in an updo.
“for lov—”
“Jiě jie! Have you seen the snowman we built?!” Y/N’s eyes brightened at the sound of Bo Cheng’s voice. The change in her expression was immediate.
Y/N couldn’t help but chuckle, “Yes, dear. It’s marvellous.”
Bo Cheng’s delighted laughter echoed across the snowy expanse as he ran back outside to Yoongi, pulling him towards their creation.
Hoseok, witnessing Y/N’s transformation, teased, “See? He’s not all bad. Look at how happy he makes your brother.”
“One snowman doesn’t erase the past, Hoseok.”
Hoseok laughed, conceding with a nod, “Fair enough, Y/N. Fair enough.”
“What about two?” Y/N rolled her eyes playfully. But the daunting feeling never left her as she watched him and her little brother.
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“Is he asleep?” She asked quietly, trying to restrain her voice as much as possible. The best was not to overload the muscles of her throat at all. She talks very little but thinks a lot. That certainly is not the best situation for someone like Y/N.
Her mind takes her to places. To those she visited and those she is yet to see. The “Yoongi” comes back to her in dreams from time to time, and Y/N’s mind cannot grapple with why it is happening so. What is the cosmos trying to show her?
“He is usually stubborn to go to sleep if it’s not for Ma reading him a story-” The younger sister began to rely upon her never-ending gratitude to her beloved leader. Safe to say, she shifted her loyalty without having to pledge it first.
“-thank you, Kkangpae Min, you’re marvellous with children.” Y/N couldn’t help but roll her eyes at Xiaoli. Not like she was cautious to not get caught doing so, Xiaoli did see her doing so, poking her elbow to express her gratitude to Yoongi too.
“What?” Y/N asked her. Xiaoli was easier to manipulate, easier to forget, and easier to forgive. Y/N wasn’t, she would let him feel the chasm in between them before she made her move to wrap him around her finger.
“Aren’t you grateful for such a caring husband?”
The loud silence echoed in the room, making everyone uncomfortable. Y/N closed her eyes and sighed very loudly. Tears welled up in her eyes.
“Xiaoli-” Y/N has begun only for Xiaoli to not let her speak.
“No, Y/N, he’s at least trying. You never did-” her younger sister interrupted her instantly. Y/N looked into Yoongi’s eyes, for the first time since he crossed the door threshold after he put Bo Cheng to bed. She did not know what she was looking for, yet she expected him to speak up.
“Xiaoli-” she attempted again but this time it was Yoongi who interrupted her.
“Mrs. Wang, I appreciate your concern, but me and Y/N shall resolve our marital issues without your guidance.”
Yoongi’s voice was calm, but there was a firmness to it that made the room go still. Xiaoli’s eyes widened slightly, surprised by his assertiveness. Y/N’s gaze locked onto his again, searching for a hint of what he was thinking. She raised her brows at his diplomatic words to her sister.
Not wanting to admit it, Y/N enjoyed the guilt in Xiaoli’s eyes. Yet it was Yoongi she apologised to and not her.
“Well, I would say that is our cue to leave those two alone, love,” Taehyung murmured all the way from across the office where he was still seated. The room was quiet enough that everyone heard him.
“I meant well.” Was the last thing Y/N heard before Xiaoli and Taehyung got too far away for them to hear anything.
Yoongi took a deep breath, breaking the silence.
“She can be a lot, the sister of yours.”
Y/N chuckled softly, wiping away a stray tear. They sat down by the fireplace.
They always do. He reached out, taking her hand.
“How was your day?” He said gently. For the past week, she wasn’t avoiding him - she was avoiding the talks he wished to have with her to reconcile.
“Jimin told me you went to visit Kai today.”
Y/N’s eyes widened momentarily before she looked away, her grip tightening around the fabric of her dress. Yoongi’s thumb gently stroked the back of her hand, a gesture meant to be comforting, but it only intensified the whirlwind of emotions inside her.
“Seokjin says he is getting better slowly.” She hesitated to talk, biting her lip. Kai was a sore subject between them, yet Yoongi realised that’s where his only chance of a life with her lay. He agreed upon her terms of forgiving him, seizing any opportunity to keep her by his side.
“And so do you, but I would love to hear that from you, Dove.”
“It still pains me to talk, and I get dizzy if I stand for too long.” Yoongi’s heart ached as he heard her soft confession. He knew all too well what her condition was and that he was the sole reason for it.
There wasn’t a day, an hour where he did not think about what he could have done differently with her. Maybe if he told her the truth at the very beginning, she’d let him woo her. But he’ll never know that. The damage was done, and he’ll have to build their relationship from scratch.
Yoongi hesitated for a moment, his eyes searching Y/N’s face for any sign of pain or discomfort.
“I’m sorry, Dove,” he whispered, his voice filled with regret. “I hate seeing you like this.”
Y/N gave him a weak smile. It wasn’t a warm smile, it was not genuine, and it certainly did not reflect the emotion Y/N was holding in.
“Then why lead me to this state?” Yoongi’s eyes filled with guilt, his grip on her hand tightening. For the first time, Yoongi rethought all the decisions he had made since he settled his eyes on her. There wasn’t a day he did not think about what would be different if he would’ve been honest with her. Would she fall in love with him?
“We don’t have time for that, Hyung.” The voice of his right-hand man echoed in his mind. He listened to him, and here they are. Broken.
“I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness, Dove—” Yoongi’s tears threatened to fall as he watched the woman he loved struggle with the pain he had caused.
“And that there is way too much damage done, but I burn for you, and I always will.” She only listened to him, there was no need to answer.
“I will wait for you until you are ready.”
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“We had a deal.” Her eyes slowly flattered open upon hearing his low baritone voice. She gulped down carefully, wincing at the still evident pain in her throat. She squinted her eyes at the change of lighting. She was wondering whether he would pay her visit. Several weeks passed and here he is. Kim Namjoon in his full glory, ready to get on her nerves.
“Where’s Yoongi?” Looking at the empty side of the bed she asked, not minding his words. He sneaked late in the night, thinking she was dead asleep and left her room too early in the morning. She has let him do that. It will only help her in the future.
“We had a deal,” Namjoon repeated, his voice firm and unwavering as he was seated in the armchair next to her bed, his gaze fixed on her with a mixture of concern and disappointment.
“And we still have a deal, don’t we?” She asked rather mockingly, her tone laced with sarcasm, pulling herself up to sit on the bed. Her eyes still not used to the lighting she blindly reached to a glass of water that was on the nightstand to ease her throat of the uncomfortable dryness burning inside.
“You attempted to kill yourself. I’d count that as violating our deal,” he stated bluntly. Y/N’s jaw clenched as she listened to Namjoon's accusation, a surge of defensiveness rising within her. The man and his tactics irked her.
She knew she had pushed the boundaries of their agreement, but she couldn’t bring herself to admit it. Not to him at least.
“It was a moment of weakness, okay? I’ve had enough at that point.” Namjoon’s gaze remained steady, unmoved by her protestations. As if he saw right through her.
“Do you want us to throw you into a mental house? Is that what you’re trying to do?”
Y/N’s grip tightened around the glass of water as she fought to control the rising tide of anger within her.
“You all would have to throw yourself in first.”
She refused to back down, refused to let him belittle her struggles or dictate her fate. Y/N’s grip tightened around the glass of water, her knuckles turning white with tension as she fought to control the rising tide of anger within her. Namjoon’s words felt like a slap in the face, a harsh reminder of her own vulnerability and the consequences of her actions.
He chuckled at her response. The sound grating on her nerves like nails on a chalkboard.
“As I said, it was a moment of weakness, there was no different means to stop him—”
“Maybe if you didn’t provoke him before, he wouldn’t do it, Y/N.”
“I did not provoke him. I did not ask for any of this,” she spat, her voice trembling with fury. Y/N’s heart pounded in her chest as she glared at Namjoon. She wanted to throw the glass at him so badly.
“Yet here we are.”
“Here we are indeed,” she shot back, her voice dripping with sarcasm. “And whose fault is that, Namjoon? Certainly not mine.”
Namjoon’s jaw tightened at her defiance, his gaze hardening as he met her eyes with unwavering intensity.
“You’re just like him, Y/N,” he muttered darkly. “Stubborn. Refusing to see reason. Refusing to accept help. We had a deal goddammit—”
“With all due respect, Namjoon. I do not trust you nor your intentions to actually send me over to America once the time is up.” He had expected her defiance, but her lack of trust cut deeper than he cared to admit. He did not know why in detail. But it was for the greater good that the Buin and Kkangpae will be a power role model couple for their clan.
“You don’t trust me?” he repeated, his voice low and tinged with disbelief. Ridiculous. 
“Trust is earned, Namjoon,” she retorted, her voice unwavering despite the tremor in her heart. “And you haven't exactly given me a reason to trust you.” His frustration was simmering beneath the surface.
“Aight.” He said after some time of thinking.
“What do you want?” He asked, intrigued about what would make her trust him. Y/N’s gaze narrowed; her expression guarded as she considered Namjoon’s question.
“Assurances.”
“Name it.”
“I want Xiaoli, Kai, Daiyu and her son out of here. Somewhere overseas. Unharmed and not to be bothered again.” His expression conflicted as he weighed the implications of her request. The smirk on his face was still present.
“Xiaoli is betrothed to Taehyung, and she is so of her own volition. You yourself gave them your blessing, Buin.” Y/N’s tongue clicked unsatisfied with his words.
“Give her the courtesy and at least give her the chance to decide, without your influence.” He knew she had a point, even if he was reluctant to admit it. The power dynamics within their world were complex, and he had grown accustomed to wielding his influence with impunity. The holy seven always did so.
“Fine,” he conceded, his tone grudging. “I’ll make sure Xiaoli has a chance to make her own decisions. But you’re pushing your luck, Yoongi may not—,”
“He will agree.” She stated resolutely. Namjoon’s eyebrows rose slightly at Y/N’s bold assertion, surprised by her unwavering confidence.
“Very well,” Namjoon replied, his voice tinged with resignation. “I’ll speak to Yoongi and I’ll arrange for them to sail away once Kai is well enough to travel, but only if you promise to uphold your end of the deal and it’s new conditions”
“What conditions?” She asked, utterly confused. This was about him earning her trust. But of course, Kim Namjoon would somehow manage to manipulate his way through.
“Forgive him, Y/N. That’s what I’m asking for. It’s been weeks since Kai can stand on his own feet. Talk, walk, eat, everything. Why’d you still not uphold your side of the deal?”
A weighty silence enveloping the room as Y/N processed his words. The idea of forgiving Yoongi felt like an impossible task, a betrayal of everything she had endured at his hands. She could not find a word that would describe what she feels now.
“Holding onto anger and bitterness will only continue to weigh you down. Death would be redemption, yet you are still here, living and breathing by God’s will and doing.”
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I N T E R L O G U E
“When is he planning to do it?” She spoke softly, her words laced with urgency and caution.
“I don’t know-” she murmured, swallowing the lump in her throat. “But I can’t bear the thought of Bo Cheng witnessing such a horror.”
Daiyu’s eyes darted around the dimly lit corridor, wary of lurking shadows and prying ears.
“We must leave this place, Y/N,” she urged, her voice a breathless whisper.
“I can’t-” Y/N’s voice caught in her throat, her gaze dropping to the floor as a wave of despair washed over her.
“—not yet, at least.” Daiyu placed a gentle hand on Y/N’s shoulder.
“But you will-” Y/N took a shaky breath, trying to calm her racing heart. Daiyu’s gaze hardened.
“-And you’ll take Bo Cheng with you. Even Ma if we will be clever enough.”
“Xiaoli?” she inquired cautiously.
“Xiaoli doesn’t share our sentiments. Taking her against her will would make me no better than them.” Daiyu nodded, understanding the complexity of Y/N’s feelings towards Xiaoli.
“He won’t let us all go,” said Daiyu, her eyes shimmering with unshed tears. In normal circumstances, he would never give a green pass to anyone from inside of their clan. Especially, to the closer circle. But the circumstances were not normal. And as he spoke himself numerous times at this point. He will do everything to keep her by his side.
“He will. If I promise to stay.”
“But that’s-”
“It’s not my time yet, Daiyu—” she interrupted her quickly.
“But it will come.”
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©pennyellee. please do not repost
author's note: this took me longer than I thought, mainly coz of life getting in my way, but nonetheless, chapter 8 is here. So far, this is the most I'm sceptical about chapter so yeah, nervous to put it out. Yoongi's got a taste of his own medicine to some degree and maybe finally he'll start to see things differently. Do you believe Yoongi can change for her? Hmm? We will see. Enjoy the chapter. Thank you for reading and continuing to read the story 𖦹 ☼ ⋆。˚⋆ฺ ♡
PS: I hope you don't hate Xiaoli entirely coz I have a filler one-shot mapped out in my head 𖦹 ☼ ⋆。˚⋆ฺ ♡
shout-out to Bex, the queen @chaoticpuff17, for beta another chapter!
Love you all!! ♥
Don't be a silent reader, comment, re-blog, heart, asks are more than welcome ♥
keep in mind - I'm not an expert on chinese, korean and japanese culture, but I tried to research everything realistic I wanted to add to the story. Nonetheless, take it as a fiction. Nor in this case, I'm a medical professional.
let's be friends chummers 🫧♡ ︎
lots of love, p.
PPS: accounts highlighted cannot be tagged, so if you want to be in the tag list, please make sure you have it allowed in your settings. 𖦹 ☼ ⋆。˚⋆ฺ ♡
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kiwioala · 5 months
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foosh and bad talking abt their purgatory experiences rn reminded me of smth and now im counting foolish saying "they'll never know the butterfly effect they caused by killing us over and over" on day 1 of purgatory as one of his predictions bc i genuinely believe if they had not been spawn-killed and gone crazy on day 1, red team probably wouldn't have won
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isa-ghost · 1 month
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How about some qmissa hc's :D? (also hope you're ok🖤 take care of yourself!)
Dude I can't fucking wait to write more of Missa in AMFMN I'm so excited to show what I have planned for him.
Disclaimer these are gonna be very Just Missa or Pissa related since I'm a crow so I don't get to watch him interact with many other ccs the rare times he streams 😭 Forgive me /lh
Ok I've said this elsewhere but my biggest headcanon is that he's a grim reaper. It's why he's gone so often, he's off doing a very demanding job.
Second biggest Missa hc I have is that he has (currently one-sided) romantic feelings for Phil. This is kinda canon actually but the one-sided part who knows. Either way oh my god he gets the worst butterflies around Phil /pos
THESE REAPER HANDS ARE RATED E FOR EVERYONE. You piss him off and he WILL throw hands about it. Probably through tears bc he still gets scared in the face of danger but HANDS.
He 🤝🏻 Phil on self esteem issues to a certain degree. He's certainly not as bad but boy does he have moments. He's not as stubborn as Phil so he's easier to reassure though.
His skull mask is a sugar skull!! :D
When he's wearing the mask and doesn't wanna take it off but wants to show he's big mad he'll sometimes draw angry eyebrows on his mask. He's done this in front of Phil and it absolutely killed him.
Gets overwhelmed /pos being on his own with Chayanne & Tallulah. They let loose a bit bc Phil isn't around to be Oh My God Survivalist Mode about their safety so Missa gets the brunt of unhinged behavior. Lots of laughter but also screaming involved.
He's a professional at saying out of pocket suggestive shit so fast that the translator doesn't catch it.
Yeah no he's smooched Roier a few times. Before Roier was married and he got down atrocious for Phil but yeah they did.
Smth about being with Roier turns him into quadruple the gremlin he already can be. Cellbit has aptly dubbed it The Roier Effect.
If he was given a guitar and the opportunity to do so, he'd sing/perform at every major Quesadilla Island event. (He'd be lowkey terrified bc that's a bit overwhelming but Phil and others would be cheerleading him so hard he'd do it).
When he freaks out about stuff, esp around Phil, some of it is actually secretly exaggerated bc he likes that it makes Phil laugh so much.
He gives the best fucking hugs. Instant comfort. Also he's very huggable himself. Phil's pretty buff so when he hugs Missa tight enough he cracks Missa's back like bubble wrap.
The handle of his scythe has a music staff print on it :D
God DAMN can he be spiteful sometimes. It makes Phil kinda (Floshed).
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