#but you refuse to do that

[medicinemane]

Try to avoid talking politics cause it's a fucking cesspool, but god I fucking hate mike johnson, he's such a lying piece of shit

"Oh I've always supported Ukraine", bitch, you refuse to ever bring an up or down vote for aid to Ukraine to the floor, you refuse to even do the basics of your job and see if the house is willing to vote yes for aid to Ukraine. Quick being the biggest fucking liar around, at least fucking be honest

Wouldn't like you, but as it stands it would be hard fro my respect to get any lower when you straight up have been blocking aid to Ukraine since you got this position by simply refusing to even bring a vote to the floor

I'd be annoyed if it got voted down, but the fact he won't even just bring a simple yes no vote to the floor, that's why out of all the scum in American politics, right now I probably like him about the least

#I mean I've lost any respect for any of them that used to crow about supporting Ukraine that turned in the drop of a hat #I will never ever respect or trust them again #but the aid could have been voted on literal months ago cause it used to have bipartisan support before people decided to take it hostage #I'm sorry; I just can't fucking stand johnson and I needed to bitch today #I don't know how anyone can possible vote for that trash #do your fucking job and just bring things to the floor to be voted on #but don't say you're an ally to Ukraine while refusing to do your job #like people want to vote no; well they suck; but at least we'd have had a vote #but you refuse to do that #and I'm sorry; I forget if any of the DOA version were ever voted on #but any of them with a bunch of amendments to do other shit do no count; cause... well cause they're dead on arrival like I said #just a clean up or down vote; that's all I ask and what he refuses to deliver cause he's trash #name a dollar amount for aid to Ukraine; house votes if they like it #I'm not asking for anything fancy; literally just that it be put to a vote #that's too much for johnson #cause you see why I can't stand him? #sorry; I can't trust politicians who don't support Ukraine #just so happens I think most of the ones who don't are dumb fucks regardless #but like I would straight up vote against anyone who can't support a major fucking ally that's being invaded and bombed #Ukraine has been such a good investment; purely talking numbers and strategic goals being achieved for the US #like tossing my humanity out supporting Ukraine is a good fucking deal that just puts money back in our wallet #cause all that aid money? most of it's just getting spent here in the US #but aside from the practical I just am fucking sick of seeing people dying every day cause of russia launching attacks on civilians #I don't know; fuck mike johnson in particular #he seems like a piece of shit just in general; but this is what just makes me loath his stupid ass #and then he goes on tv and straight up lies to everyone's face #fuck that dumb shit bag

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

[chimaerakitten]

if fantasy genre reincarnation were real (ie, the kind where everyone always reincarnates as human and can recover most if not all previous-life memories) humans would use it for such DUMB SHIT you guys. like every other week you’d get headlines like “20 year old cave diver vanishes down This One Fucking Cave for the 5th life in a row.” and the body of the article would be like “His last words were ‘This time I'm going to find out what’s at the bottom of that crevasse!’ We’ll see you when you get your memories back in 16 years Dylan, the scientific community can’t wait to find out what was at the bottom of that crevasse.”

#you know that 'man who loses arm to lava smugly refuses to say what lava feels like' meme? #everyone would be doing that all the time.

[panstarry]

my final from last semester that i made into a zine. cooked this one up in a couple hours before the critique (the ink was still wet!), so it's very raw and kind of sloppy but the sentiment is there. i love you trans people of color. we are the backbone of this community 🌟

#pan draws #pan designs #zine #risograph #i'm not gonna lie i don't love how this one turned out OTL and i think the wording is not done but well... a deadline is a deadline #i'll probably touch it up and rewrite it in the future but who's to say.. i need to stew on how to articulate my feelings coherently #anyway my transness is so closely tied to my experience as a person of color. the current political climate is so fucking ass to exist in #but more than anything i am pissed off at white punks & leftists & trans people that refuse to have meaningful solidarity with us. #so yeah anyway. i was stuck on this one forever and only really got anywhere with it after attending 2 punk noise shows in a row where they #actually used their fucking platform to do like. anything. our struggles are connected you need to careeeee YOU HAVE TO CARE........ ok bye #tdov #trans day of visibility #<- i was sitting on uploading this for a while so the stars kind of aligned for it to be today huh.... happy tdov i love you

[oifaaa]

Fuck your insomniac Tim Drake head canons instead join my team and start pushing the idea that Tim actually has narcolepsy boy can't stop himself from falling asleep even if he wanted to

#dc #dc comics #batman #tim drake #further hc that he refuses to admit he has narcolepsy #“what do you mean steph everyone falls asleep on rollacosters thats normal im up all night”

[vebokki]

i present to you for your consideration: luo binghe and sha hualing as roommates. also they're both going to be late to their respective dates

#why haven't they moved out and gotten their own apt even tho they can afford it you may ask? #they both refuse to because they'd cry when they said goodbye to the other (even if they saw each other weekly) #the sibling bond is real folks #also for binghe being late is like. not being 30 mins early to impress shen yuan #scum villain self saving system #svsss #svsss fanart #luo binghe #sha hualing #mxtx #人渣反派自救系统 #next bingqiu when im done w comms babey #ALSO DO NOT COME FOR ME FOR BINGHES OUTFIT OKAY my stupid ass is scrolling all day on pinterest for ideas and coming up empty

[andsewingishalfthebattle]

Novice sewing pattern: Cut out shapes. Line up the little triangles on the edges. Stitch edges together. We've also included step-by-step assembly instructions with illustrations.

Novice knitting pattern: yOU MUSt uNDerstANd thE SECret cOdE CO67 (73, 87, 93) BO44 (63, 76, 90) 28 (32, 34) slip first pw repeat 7x K to end *kl (pl) 42 * until 13" (13, 13, 15) join new at 30 pl for 17 rows ssk 27 k2tog mattress lengthwise BO and sacrifice a goat to the knitting gods. WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU WANT "INSTRUCTIONS," I JUST GAVE THEM TO YOU

#knitting #no it's not a real pattern but I can't write one that makes sense because I have no freaking clue what any of that means #How do you make things that aren't basic rectangles #Why has every knitter I've asked for help just said 'patterns are easy; you just have to know how to read them' & then refused to teach me #Where do I even find a goat to sacrifice #How do I join the pattern cult #I am so confused #I've been knitting for almost a decade but I can only make scarves and potholders #I learned one (1) stitch by watching a YouTube video and none of my friends or family knit so I have no IRL resources #And nobody I meet seems to want to take the time to explain the rest to me #I taught myself to sew through trial and error but that doesn't really work with knitting because error is pretty much just... Unraveling? #Anyway sorry for the tag rant I'm just frustrated that I see pretty things I want to make but the instructions are in an alien language #And the gap between 'absolute novice' and 'intermediate' seems to be about 20 years of experience and formal instruction

[lazylittledragon]

i refuse to believe that boycotting is hard. my favourite thing in the world is ordering maccies after a late night at work/a concert/getting drunk. yes i do miss it sometimes. but the other night i ordered from a small place near my house instead and it was the most orgasmic burger i've ever had in my life. i very rarely say this but fucking suck it up people are DEAD

#ramble #also only 0.29 delivery instead of 3.99 #and chilli cheese bites #i swear to god the best food you'll ever eat while drunk is from the tiny shithole that's open until 4am #if you're refusing to do literally the smallest thing you can do to help then i have questions #it's FOOD. you'll survive #it's not even NECESSARY food #if it was like a chain grocery place and you don't have access to anything else then i would understand #but it's just NOT #make your own coffee for the love of god #when there is NOTHING you can do to stop this fucking tragedy. and let's be honest there isn't a lot normal people can do #and people say to you 'do this insignificant thing just to show that you even CARE' #and you DON'T do that???? what is actually wrong with you #also i've been worried about this since my last post about sbucks but this is Not an attack on the people who WORK at the boycotted places #because it is an absolute privilege to be able to leave your job and immediately find a new one

[lesbianballofgender]

Aziraphale would be livid

#I know Spotify is so awful at identifying music but seriously?? bebop #this has to have been on purpose #the Spotify staff knew what they were doing #I refuse to believe it was a bot that did this #good omens #aziraphale #crowley #aziracrow #good omens 2 #gomens #ineffable husbands #michael sheen #david tennant #ineffable sillies #it's ineffable #bebop #everything isn’t tickety boo #UPDATE: if you click on the hashtag it takes you to the good omens soundtracks STOP what is this madness #Spotify knows what it’s doing and I’m not feeling ok about it

[feniksido]

"We are brilliant." "..."

#COUGH COUGH #uhm what can i say except draw background killed my grandma so i simply refused to do it this time #my art #the dark urge #enver gortash #bg3 #zenith #durgetash #uhhhhhhhhhh IF YOU KNOW MORE ABOUT STEELWATCH CONSTRUCTION AND THE LIKE DO NOT GET ON MY ASS IF I GOT SOMETHING WRONG #uhm what else can i say #the outfits are also so plain i couldnt commit to the bit yall #its okay #i feel like an insane person

[zillychu]

Consider for a moment: A slow-burn identity reveal “no one knows” AU with an emphasis on ghosts being taken seriously as an actual, world-changing threat.

Ghosts are treated as an exceedingly dangerous, but unavoidable force of nature. They can come and go without warning, through naturally occurring spontaneous portals. They're territorial, driven only by obsession and hunger for the living. Particularly powerful ghosts are on par with natural disasters.

Life goes on because there's simply no other option. All major buildings have varying levels of ghost shields, some stronger than others. Just about everyone has some form of personal shield, weapon, or general deterrent. For the most part, humanity takes this apocalypse in stride, barely keeping it all together because there's just enough safety to keep them all sane.

Which is why the rumors of Phantom being able to fully mimic a human body incites panic in Amity.

Phantom was already a nightmare as it was–one of the most powerful and intelligent ghosts on record. His territorial fights with other ghosts for haunting (hunting) grounds in Amity have made global news several times already. Powerful ghosts could appear more human–but to think he was transforming down to a cellular level? Hiding among them? Bypassing ghost shields and alarms? Picking them off one by one?

The focus is mostly with Lancer's class, and how the school deals with this new threat on top of everything else. Everyone is a suspect, no one is safe, and Danny Fenton in particular gets slowly more and more exhausted, apathetic, and… unnerving.

The stress, the lack of sleep, the fighting, no one to turn to, not even his best friends or family–it takes a toll on him. Starving himself doesn't help, but he refuses to do more than take small bites from the ambient life energy and emotion of the living around him. Nothing that won't actually do lasting harm. He begins to slip up more and more, which Sam and Tucker begin to notice but haven't quite connected the dots yet.

But, well. What else can Danny do when Pariah Dark comes knocking on Amity’s doorstep, and his whole class is in the line of fire?

#Danny Phantom #zilly squeaks #btw i very much hc that ghosts are so intrinsically WRONG to all our senses that Phantom basically has a built in de-recognition spell #people surmise he's a young adult but that's about it #like they can see him perfectly but their brains refuse to connect his face to a human face #anyway i have brainworms this Friday night. how are y'all doing #kinda want Danny's friends and classmates to be terrified of Phantom #as a treat #(the treat is for me) #also there's not enough Mr. Lancer i love that man #by the way if anyone wants to write this #uhhhhh STRONG possibility I'd make you a ton of art for it #if you'd like to collab even. hit me up

[cemeterything]

idc about "toxic traits" or "red flags" whats your fatal flaw

#🐉 #in the interest of sharing mine is that i cant stand to not be who i say i am #which means that i refuse to expect anyone to do anything im not willing to do myself #and if anyone tries to call my bluff ill do anything to prove them wrong #'haha you wont do it' is like a sleeper agent activation phrase for me #you dont have to share your fatal flaws in the tags though this is first and foremost a sillypost

[bluemoontarot]

I have found that the biggest deterrent to assholes is asking "why?" Over and over.

"We can't have universal healthcare!"

Why?

"Because I don't wanna pay for a strangers health!"

Why?

"Because if they can't afford their own health care that isn't my problem!"

Why?

And so on and so on. Keep making them dig. Keep making them explain until they can't anymore and are faced with nothing but the ugly mask of bias and prejudice. Only then can they truly see that taking it off is an option. Whether they do or not is up to them. And that choice tells you whether they deserve more of your energy or not.

Trans kids can't be trans. Why? Why not? Why?

Free food is bad for ppl. Why? Why? Why? Why is feeding ppl bad?

Why?

Why is helping one another bad?

Why is doing what humans are genetically designed to do, to help and care for one another to ensure survival, bad?

#money aside #just think about it #then realize we HAVE the money #we have the money to fund all of this #through laundering in goverments and billionares who refuse to share wealth for the bettermemt of mankind #then get angry #and be radicalized #helping your fellow man through kindness is the biggest fuck you to capitalism #anti capitalism #politics #democratic socialism #socialism #eat the rich #and do this to yourself when you have bias #why did you think that way or do that action? #why was this your first response difference? #dig until you cant...and take off the mask

[jewreallythinkthat]

Something I really don't understand is this obsession the anti-Israel crowd (in the West) have with death and martyrdom. All they care about is dying, and often killing for their cause; I see nothing about building a better future that isn't based on the murder of 9 million Israelis.

It's easy to die for a cause. The challenge is living to make a better tomorrow.

#jumblr #antisemitism #i/p #killing yourself and others does nothing to promote peace. frankly killing others is just terrorism in this scenario #if you want peace then you should be workng with jews and israelis #deal with antisemitism islamophobia and the rot in the knesset to move towards a two state solution #anything other than a two state solution is discrimination and death #dying for your cause is not cute or progressive. its lazy because you didnt want to put in the effort to do real work moving forwards #jews are 0.2 of the worlds population. if you refuse to engage with them you are the problem #majority voice doesnt mean correct. it just means loud #if your voice is leading to people killing themselves then you need to take a long hard look in a mirror

[secretagentsagainstwhatever]

based Doctor who

#doctor who #based #peter capaldi #his inner scott came out #abolish the monarchy #my back It simply refuses to carry the weight of an entirely pointless stratum of society #do you know how hard that goes #12th doctor #dr who #the husbands of river song #King hydroflax #greg davies #river song #the doctor #christopher eccleston would be proud #not my king #not my voice #doctor who quotes

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Get Their Ass.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #wei wuxian #jin ling #jin chan #Yeah that's right. This guy is a named character. All those nameless disciples in the yi city arc and *this* guy gets a name. #Jin ling finally gets his much needed outfit upgrade! Rest in peace double straps. #I adore how we get to keep learning about Jin Ling and peeling back the layers on him...It's also so sad to see him so alone and friendless #especially knowing he really was starting to build peer friendships in the yi city arc... #Jin ling really is one of my top 5 characters in MDZS and its absolutely in part because of how you can *see* how he ended up this way #and we watch him learn and grow! He's doing what most adults refuse to do: Consider that his opinions are skewed and need to change. #You are NOT immune to propaganda and I adore characters who reflect and struggle with that! #Just because someone with assumed authority says something that fits into what you want to be true does not make it true B*/ #In this series about rumours and warped perspectives - Jin Ling is a great example of how hard you have to work for the truth #+1 points of friendship with jin ling: He will self correct himself if he says a slur now