#but yeah im sick and i feel awful

[grandpasnailgroovy]

#but yeah im sick and i feel awful #im not even that into to tmnt as much as before its kind of sad. #i still watch it though #im on season four of 2003 i think #i watch it while i have my breakfast :) #comic sans #tmnt #rottmnt #tmnt meme #tmnt 2k3 #tmnt 2003 #mutant mayhem #rise of the tmnt #tmnt 2012 #teenage mutant ninja turtles #illness #common cold #sneeze #winter #huh

[bunnihearted]

🪦🩹

#it's so mentally draining nd taxing for me to live w my family... #they are never considerate towards me and always treat me like a bother #even after my surgery my sisters kept making sure i knew i was a burden and took up too much space #i could tell how sick my mom is of me too #it's just so exhausting #bc like now when i only slept 3hrs bc of tooth pain nd then couldnt sleep more #nd now still have tooth pain nd im rlly tired nd need to wake up early tmrw to call the dentist #my mom nd sister r in the living room watching tv #so i asked if they could plz be mindful of the volume #nd they sighed nd rolled their eyes nd said yeah yeah whatever #like im an awful demanding person for even daring to ask them this #it's just not fun to have to deal w constantly #sorry im in pain nd i wanna try to sleep as much as i can but i cant even try when i can hear u laugh nd talk etc etc #just rathet be alone :(( #but yeah idek if i'll be able to sleep bc the pain isnt fun #im trying to just breathe nd accept that it is there nd that hopefully the dentist can help T-T #am i bad for wishing to be shown consideration nd sympathy? sometimes i even wanf them to feel sorry for me

[angel-of-sweet-revenge]

When your friend needs you to be there to comfort them, but you have no energy for serious conversations and so you're stuck wondering if youre being a selfish asshole or if youre justified in not wanting to be the one to sort their problems out

#vent #its not like they didnt offer to hear my problems. but i just dont want to talk about. or anything #i dont want serious conversations. i dont want to have to worry about other people. i just cant. #im just so fucking exhausted and i dont know if its talking to them and feeling drained by the fact that theyre going through something- #-and that i need to be the therapist or if im just sick. again. #plus yesterday i slept late. my mum made me cry (i think she was just tired out by that point in the day so i doubt it was personal) #and just #im fucking tired ok #and I'm sorry im a bad friend #i just dont have energy. i want to have good energy around me to try give me some. #but when theyre upset it gets into me and drains me and I've been there as much as i can but i just cant right now. im too tired #i know im a shitty person but literally everyone got to be a shitty person at my expense so isnt it my fucking turn? #and then assuming i was acting like that to hurt them. I DO NOT WANT TO HURT ANYONE. IF WE HAVE A FIGHT I WANT TO MOVE ON. #I'm not gonna be caught up in it if we resolved it #but yeah. long story short they're going through shit and i feel like shit #and i think them going through shit is what makes me feel like shit. because i worry about them #and they can lash out on me #i just dont know anymore. i dont know if im an awful person or not #last year i broke up with a friend and my mum said I'll do the same with the next friend #it wasnt my fault #that friend ghosted me #im trying not to be her rn too and im scared that ive been in the wrong im scared im a shitty person too #but at the same time im too done to even really care #i just wanna stop fucking feeling all this and just get on with my day

[soupmanspeaks]

you ever wonder if the Glamrocks's face tracking acts up when they look at Glamrock-Freddy, like they'll look at his face, and the recognition will register as Freddy, but their systems for whatever reason or another think that there is a face overlapped on Freddy's do you think they see two small squares next to him, at his side, roughly child sized, but no one is physically there.... right...?

#fnaf #michael afton #five nights at freddy’s #glammike #crying child #elizabeth afton #i wanted to allude something to william but idk #would the glamrocks go into the sinkhole? maybe #maybe next to glamrock freddy alongside the weird overlapping face he has and the two kid height faces #there is a face tracking box next to him...standing #remember that post about the ghost hunters comin to the pizza plex? maybe the weird face tracking happens too... #im watching garret watts and Andrew's constant facial tracking anomalies inspired this post lol #anyways i really like the thought that despite being the most friendly Glamrock; Freddy has this......feeling about him #his AI was made just this year! programmed with cutting edge and top of the line technology! #then....then why does he go off script sometimes? why does he say things that wasn't programmed show dialogue? #how does he know about Mr. Afton? the killer from the 80's who committed heinous deeds? #Why does he speak as if he knew him personally? if his AI is just pulling stuff from online; Why does he speak with resentment about him? #IM SORRY I JUST LOVE THE CONCEPT!! #like just because this franchise has gotten more neon and sugery than ever; remember; lights can be blinding and sugar causes cavities #idk what that means just omg there is more horror potential than you think in the SB era of games if you look hard enough #off topic but back to freddy being a sweetie pie i think that its funny okay #freddy sasses adults okay okay but he isnt mean to kids okay maybe michael just idk; MATURED? maybe he just got some whimsy mkay? #listen if i was forced to be in a perpetual cycle of atoning for my own and my father's sins i would find any and all silver linings mkay #aw yeah this is sick i get to be a freddy mercury inspired glamrock bear WOOO #granted michael was probably tired of animatronic bands and pizza by fnaf 6 but ykkkkkkkk it.....could be worse? he could be his dad lmao #anyways headcannon michael listend to freddy mercury and this is the equivalent of cosplaying him scott told me so (trust) #tag rambles! theyre fun lol

[hecksupremechips]

Girl like. The reason he said "this is how it should be" and faced death with a smile....is cuz he wanted to die. For 2 years he sat there thinking he was worthless and deserved to die. If he hadn’t be shot, his death would’ve been suicide, he was fully planning to die in a gutter somewhere undetected. When saying "this is how it should be" hes literally saying "don’t cry because I’m dying, my death is a good thing actually because I fucking suck and you are better off without me". I don’t think that’s badass even slightly, it’s actually really sad and really shitty. Shinjiro is so convinced that he deserves to die and hates the idea of anyone giving a shit about him because he literally can’t wrap his mind around the idea that he will be missed when he’s gone, that his death is a bad thing actually. And his last words were meant to be comforting because he fully did not intend for anyone to be there when he died, he intended to die alone, so he says them as a reminder that he’s not worth crying over

Personally, if it were me, if I was holding my dying best friend in my arms who was deeply depressed and suicidal and he said "this is how it should be" uh. I wouldn’t admire him for it??? Like am I losing my mind when I say the way this game handles Shinji is bad or is anyone else seeing this too 😰

#its like okay listen i understand the basic math of any persona game they say things and everything they say is actually #very bad when you think about it for more than 3 seconds #like what theyre intending to do with the death of this character is be like oh no your sad friend dies tragically thats so saddddd #but that doesnt mean you cant live a wonderful life full of meaning you cant let grief consume you life is beautiful awagga #and i guess shinji is a specific character whos used cuz i guess its more tragic that he never realized he was worthy of life and shit #and i guess its also like ‘dont be like this guy who let grief consume him and then died you gotta Be Different’ #which i dont. love. that last part cuz if you think about shinji and what led him down this road #its like. of course hes depressed! he accidentally killed a woman with a child when he was 16! #he himself is an orphan and he just made some other kid an orphan as well and it happened cuz his persona went out of control #which very much can translate to ‘this must mean im dangerous and can hurt everyone if im not kept under control’ #so of course he isolated himself and believed he was evil and became suicidal like who wouldnt feel that way #like am i supposed to be mad he left sees and took drugs cuz uh while i dont think isolation or Evil Drug is good for his mental health #i dont think him continuing to fight in sees is something he can just easily do again given how he killed someone like he shouldnt have to #be a part of this thing anymore like how would he even safely get castor to not do that??? he cant kill more people on accident! #so yeah like using shinji as an example of bad coping mechanisms is already just. a big fucking oof to me like it just feels like the game #is saying he shouldve gotten over it and simply not be suicidal and stayed on the team. idk if thats the intent but uh it wouldnt faze me #cuz persona games are notoriously awful at writing characters who are traumatized and abused #but what makes everything even worse is how the game kinda like. acts like shinjis death is a stepping stone #like we’re supposed to use it as a wake up call and understand the stakes but keep going on anyways #and akihiko and Ken get. ‘great character development’ according to the game telling you they have now developed #but damn all akihiko is is just repressed he cries for 3 seconds and then is like I SHOULD MAN UP and then neglects a depressed child #shinjis dying words are words to live by now even though they piss me the fuck off like girl am i crazy HES FUCKING #HES TELLING ME NOT TO CRY OVER HIM BECAUSE HE SHOULD BE DEAD ACTUALLY AND THIS IS A GOOD THING ACTUALLY #like if the game wants us to still find meaning in life despite losing someone it just really hurts that shinji has to die for that to work #apparently. cuz the character i see myself in is shinji. not some perfect prettyboy who does everything perfectly and has 4 gfs #his death seems like a punishment for bad behavior. the bad behavior being of course depression and drug use. and im simply supposed to be #better than that if i want to live. and we dont get to form a connection with him cuz thats gayyyyy #and his death is like a NOBLE HEROIC SACRIFICE idk its just such bullshit to me i hate it so bad #how is killing a suicidal guy and then treating it as admirable that he said ‘this is how it should be’ supposed to make me feel #makes me feel sick personally and it ruins the entire game’s theme to me because its fucking shallow and the story is bad and im tired

[brosif40]

Me when i once again (the 200th time these past few months) have hip pain

#now its getting to the point my whole entire right leg hurts heeehehaaaaahhaa (im so fucking done) #itll feel better once i sleep but. i know it'll be back regardless- #as a dull feeling #like i have no way of avoiding it either. if i stand- it starts to ache. if i sit on my bed- it aches. if i lay down- it aches #HOPING i can get it checked out and that it's not permanent #its getting aggrivating #but yeah. #this is how it be 😔 #im awful at resting so that doesn't help either #weeehh #brosif rambles #sorry for the rant but im getting sick of it #my whole leg is pissed off at me AUGH

[girl-bateman]

It's time for much more serious measures.... lets bring out the- talking and receiving support from loved ones 😳

#yeah i was trying to research why im feeling so awful #AND BTW THE SHIVERS AND OTHER STUFF HAS ONLY GOTTEN WORSE UGH ! #and i did not come up with any satisfactory conclusions #i though it might be a lesbian thing but eeeh probably not #option 2 definitely fits better taking into consideration my other weird unexplained behaviour #but option 2 doesent help me. at all. and its just sad #so regardless of cause. i think im just never gonna have anyone touch me again and keep being happy on my own #the prospect of dying as a virgin-ish old lady seems much more peaceful to me than the alternative #aka these terrible shivers and head jerks and puke-y feelings and rip-my-skin off escape forever sensations #so i guess i should talk to my friends who i love <3 that prospect is making me sick too but it'll be good for me

[pallases]

ourgejjg

#i am feeling so ill rn for no reason and i need to shower and wash my hair so bad but i can tell if i do it rn it’ll make the #lightheadedness ten times worse and there is a nonzero chance i will just pass out in there 😭 #best guess is bc my period started today and yeah the first two days suck but they’re not usually This bad #personal #also this is the last thing i need rn it’s tech week and all rehearsals lately have been going/are going to go till 10 pm and i have no tim #to do all my assignments and my probability prof assigned a lab today that’s due TMRW AT MIDNIGHT? <- we usually get a class period btwn #it being assigned and the deadline and he’s not even giving us until the next class period to do it now like why is it due at midnight #instead of noon the next day… also i have not one but two exams immediately following this weekend and i really want to see my family for #easter but that sounds like such a bad idea im so unproductive at home and i’ll be busier than usual when i go home on top of that bc easte #and one of the exams is circuits for which exams are worth 90% of our grade and im averaging a 74% at the moment which is NOT #promising and. AAAAA #also have an exam this thursday which imnot nearly as worried abt but still. and i have to meet w someone abt a scholarship tmrw during my #free period so i Still can’t work on that stupid lab due tmrw night like. this sucks okay ‼️ #the engineering chronicles #the music chronicles #i know it was only a matter of time before musical started stressing me out but 😭 please give me back the joys of saturday’s rehearsal… #oh also there’s ANOTHER probability lab due day after easter and same day as circuits exam and the prof is the same so he knows full well #what he’s doing like. why are you not giving us the usual period in btwn for these anymore fuck you <3 #OH ALSO soldering qualification i need to do for like 3 hours wednesday the night before my thursday exam. nearly forgot abt that one i hat #it hereeee #soldering i could reschedule tho which i might do. but ive already pushed it back once so im like :/ do i really wanna do that #idk. still feel sick as fuck and still need to do physics prelab tonight 😭 it shouldn’t take long but i really don’t want to get up and #stare at my computer even more ifeel so awful rn #ANYWAY. sorry that was oversharing even for me i am just 😐 you know.

[pepprs]

june 27th give it up for june 27th

#purrs #delete later #sure would be an INFINITELY more special and auspicious day if there wasn’t going to be • thunderstorms all day • a budget meeting • two #back to back orientations where i am going to have to take on 2X THE FACILITATION ROLESSSSS 🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪 bc we’re doing that now. LMFAOOOOOO #<- and by that i mean splitting up the facilitation so instead of 4 ppl shari ng responsibility for talking AND doing logistics there’s 2 #ppl talking and 2 ppl doing logistics. and mutuals need i remind you that facilitating this specific session requires being extremely high #energy and mobile and getting ppl ‘hyped’ and there are 383729473 reasons why that is difficult for me to do in front of 100+ new students #plus three cofacilirators i am scared of / intimidated by for various reasons. im going to be sick soooo genuinely. i HATE this 😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 #anyways yeah. today is my one year anniversary and also my first day as an fte so. 🫠 and one year ago today was pretty awful too like my #first day was actually extremely extremely bad and i cried like multiple times every day that week bc it kept getting worse so. love how #things have changed so substantially since then and the things that triggered me on that day aren’t an issue anymore <3 (they are very much #still an issue it’s just the specific people involved have changed bc half the ppl working here including one of my dearest closest #mentors who was deeply involved in that situation have left the university and now it is utterly unrecognizable and every day i wake up in #an alternate universe i know deep down i am not supposed to be in and yet im trapped in it irreversibly and this IS my universe now. lolll 🥰 #)) also ik it’s stupid to still be grieving over this but like. the entire way it all went down + the fact that it even did in the first #place and the STAGGGERING consequences of it. are kind of insane. every new development makes me feel more and more like im living in a fake #reality and nothing that is happening is supposed to be happening and im dreaming it all but it’s a bad dream. and idk how to accept #that this is NOT. a dream and that what happened happened and now i have to live with it and stop curling in on myself like a prey animal an #and isolating myself from everyone i love and taking every single conceivable situation badly. like tfw da therapy isn’t working 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 #anyways i need to go get ready and practice the fucking 16 page facilitation guide 🙄 see u on the other side lol

[charlattehotte]

i have a lil spreadsheet tracking my symptoms and theres like a formula to tell me how my day was IBD-wise and like.. no way were the last 2 days 6s I really need to give more weighting to cramps and tenusmus lmao

Edit: changed "nausea" to "UNEXPLAINED nausea", added a little weighting onto tenesmus bc that's subjectively the Worst Symptom, and added a cramp modifier for "during BM cramps" and "all-day cramps" and it seems to have evened out

#also putting my nausea as pretty bad on the 1st might have skewed it bc i was admittedly hungover-sick not sick-sick #but also im looking at everything ive ingested and being like “yeah geez no wonder I feel awful” #casper machine broke #ibd

[im-smart-i-swear]

huh...

familiar face...

[insane ramblings under the cut]

these guys are(top to bottom) Taks and Buddy! theyre a part of my overcomplicated vld au 

the basic premise is that after the events of ‘the black paladins’ six shiro clones and a galran kid find themselves stranded on a unhabited planet, having to rely on eachother for survival. found family and shenanigans ensue!

Taks(its a placeholder name, i havent come up with anything good enough yet) is a smart and snarky 11(?) year old. she loves animals and can also be very a little competitive. shes also trans!(it takes her a while to figure it all out tho)

Buddy is..... a lot. he tries his best to distance himself both from the others and from his past as the black paladin of voltron - he didnt tell the others about the whole we’re-clones-of-takashi-shirogane thing for a long time.... at least not on purpose. he thinks hes sooo subtle and mysterious but really hes just kinda pathetic. (i WILL get more into him[and the other guys too!!] eventually, but right now im just butting down the basics)

taks has something of a one-sided rivalry with buddy - she doesnt like him(at least at first) and thinks hes annoying. and also shes bored. theres not a lot to do most of the time, so bullying a loser youre stuck with seems entertaining enough

buddy is too busy going trough all five stages of grief simultaneously to really notice her attempts tho

he also avoids her beacuse she reminds him of keith too much :/

^cinematic paralles

buddy and taks actually have a lot in common - theyre both stubborn and can be quite dramatic - maybe thats the reason they butt heads so much...

they do love each other tho! buddy often takes the role of a weird uncle or an annoying older brother, and over time their rivalry slowly evolves into light-hearted teasing. they looove to team up and cause mayhem(to their family’s disdain)

buddy was actually the first person taks told about her struggles with gender!(buddy was NOT prepared to deal with that, but he supported her the best way a traumatised shell of a man can!)

who knows, maybe ill make a sideblog just for this story? theres just so much of this shit in my head i need to let it out somehow or itll consume me.

(english is not my first language so sorry if this is incoprehensibe i propably made a shit ton of grammar mistakes)

#my art #clone shiro #kuron vld #vld kuron #<--- i never know wnich one i should use #vld #voltron legendary defender #i love them your honor #i should propably make a tag for this stuff #uhhh #my funky guys #yeah this is good enough #this post has been marinating in my wips for like a week now cause im so anxious about sharing this stuff #but fuck it!! im going to post my silly little stuff and no one here can stop me!!! muahaha #also im sick and i feel awful rn

[indigodawns]

.

#was feeling stressed and melancholy all day and i just... i really need to learn how to cope with that #i feel so self-absorbed and idk i was upset and teary eyed when taking the train early for dinner with my friends #and then i sit down and my friend says oh oops sorry can't tonight and idk. i was counting on that to sit down and talk for a bit and #this makes me sound awful but i kind of. exploded and texted back very shortly and angrily #and apparently. gave our other friend a panic attack so #and then they told me over text and i did nooot know how to react irl and psychically bc whew self-loathing #which felt so toxic and gross??? and again self absorbed??? #and i did reply over text and i apologised and did my best but god. #idk it's like... i think that petulant angry kid is who i am deep down and lord knows i shouldn't post this but #i need some perspective and i feel so manipulative in this too #idk idk. and i was also just wondering if anyone else gets like this like idk this blur in front of your eyes and you just #lose all reasonable thought #and i just think. im selfish as fuck at my core and im scared i don't actually want to change that and i will. try to talk about #it in therapy but that's a while away #anyways. that's also me and yeah. #sorry and also it's my parents' wedding anniversary and all i could think about was feeling mweh and not being able to do #what i was planning to do and i had this assignment blabla and these plans etc #like god??????? god #im calmer now (obviously) but yeah #and now work again tomorrow and im so fucking sick of it the mood is awful and it's busy and bleh

[the-yearning-astronaut]

.

#im fucked #its 2am #i have to be up in like #6hrs to see a friend off and get my own shit packed so i can be to the airport #but another friend accidentally hit my biggest trigger earlier and im having a hard time letting my mind go quiet #because as soon as i do i get a fuckton of intrusive thoughts that make me nauseated and deeply upset #& ive already had some Valium & i can take more but if i do im not likely to get up on time in the morning & I'll also feel hella groggy #but not getting sleep is also not an option sooooo yeah #fucked is what i am #uggghhhhhh #☉ #tbd #fox thoughts #I wish i could delete things from my memory #or at least remove my brain and pickle it for a while #Fuck intrusive thoughts and fuck trauma triggers #ive been fucked up by this one since i was FIVE and it never ever doesn't feel absolutely fuckin awful #i feel like I'm gonna be sick 😭

[lilgynt]

i will sob my brains out at 5 am remembering events from this year and also christmas last year and being annoyingly petty and unable to let go of relatively small comments just bc i’m sensitive and raw and have a complex

#personal #fake therapy is fun till ur sobbing and biting ur lip and realize how hard ur gripping your arm #ben said i was an adult after i jokingly not jokingly mentioned mom made me go to work for 3 days with a broken foot #after she was complaining about how mean we are to her #which i imagine was just resentment of her calling me abusive the other day #and also i was out returning stuff for my mom at like 4 different stores and came back home like give me five to change so i don’t look #frumpy when we get dinner #and then moms like hurry up oh my god and bens like stop that’ll just make her take longer and fuck both of you i’ve been changing for what #5 fucking minutes? is it that deep ? #and mom saying i should have gone earlier but i didn’t bc i was sick and she’s like whatever and i can already feel the difference with my #brother home and it’s awful bc i do love him and enjoy his company #and maybe i’m on edge bc he only visits during holidays and holidays never go well for home #me #and we have fun and enjoy dinner but also that comment and like yeah maybe it was my fault for not just going anyway #but also mom was threatening to kick me out and making fun of me crying in pain #and fuck you you have a completely dynamic to her and she actually fucking likes you #and i just turn into this worst verison of my self around him bc i have a complex and i hate it #anyway. my tummy hurts. im no longer crying so this emotion will be purged pretty soon amen

[violetshine-appreciation]

siiiigghhh look i know the erins are terrible at conflict resolution and portraying female characters feelings as important like i get that and i agree that the writing is super misogynistic. i even agree that hawkwings journey was super unfair to pebbleshine and did not allow her to properly come to terms w her own trauma like it did w hawkwing. but ive been seeing a lot of ppl compare hawkwing to brambleclaw and that just. doesnt sit right w me.

like i agree hawkwings treatment of pebbleshine while hes angsting over duskpaws death is wrong. he acts out of spite bc hes hurt and angry and wants to take it out on her. he tells her he wishes she had died instead of duskpaw. thats bad. we know that its bad, even tho he apologizes for it. but in his case its coming from a place of trauma and projection (which, AGAIN, doesnt make it ok), whereas brambleclaws treatment of squirrelflight has never come from a place of grieving or unhealthy coping mechanisms, hes literally mean to her bc hes always seen her as annoying. he doesnt respect her, he sees her as always contradicting him, as trying to control him, as being a liar who keeps secrets from him, as someone who he cant trust. from the beginning brambleclaw has had no legitimate reason for his cruelty toward squirrelflight. he is abusive to her bc hes always seen her as being lesser, as not respecting him, so therefore in his mind he doesnt respect her.

hawkwing did and said horrible things to pebbleshine while he was mourning, yes. pebbleshine was treated unfairly by the narrative, yes. they shouldnt have been in a relationship in the first place, yes. but hawk does not deserve to be compared to brambleclaw when bramble has always been consistently abusive to squirrelflight for increasingly petty/hypocritical reasons, whereas hawkwing, while certainly not in the right, acted out of grief. again, this does not necessarily mean you have to sympathize w him (even tho the narrative wants u to), but it makes him different from brambleclaw based on that alone. do w that what u will.

#mod meows #hawkwing #pebbleshine #not tagging as bramble or squirrel bc any mention of bramble being abusive makes ppl crawl out of the woodwork to defend him #also obligatory reminder that i dont even like hawk x pebble bc theyre literally first cousins like wtf #this isnt me defending their relationship so dont come crying to me abt that #yeah im biased bc im violetshine irl. but also im just sick of ppl in this fandom demonizing trauma #YES ppl w trauma can say/do awful things and NO that does not excuse it. #but at least try to understand where those awful things r coming from and THEN decide for urself whether or not they deserve forgiveness #this isnt me calling hawkwing an uwu innocent baby boy its just me saying that he is nowhere NEAR as bad as brambleclaw #im just saying how i feel abt the situation

[hella1975]

there's this one girl at work who thinks she's the Waitress Supreme literally is convinced the goddess of waitresses shat her out and stuck her in a barely-functioning pub in the arsecrack of england and today i was soooo poorly and sickly and weak and feeble literally on death's door cough coughu oug h etc and still had to do a 12-10 shift bc i need MONEY, so safe to say i was not in the mood for her omd. like this girl is not a manager. she is not even a supervisor. she is a student that, while working full-time, comes and goes in regards to her studies. so tell me WHY she tries to give me orders as if she's not only in a position to do so but also like she's singlehandedly running the fucking military. 'that cutlery hasn't been polished yet' 'why are you making drinks for the chefs when there's tables to clear' 'B2 havent had their menus'. all incredibly valid points when you give each problem at least 2 minutes to naturally resolve itself AND the problem in question is in your section AND you speak to people with a friendly, helpful tone instead of the most patronising bitchy voice you ever heard. i wanted to kill her dead i literally had to just ignore her every time she spoke to me even if it did come across rude like it was either that or lose my job to an ABH charge.

#and bc i was so ill i literally couldn't even control my face in time like normally im actually a very good actress #my skill for being a two-faced bitch is held back only by my pride and morals #so normally id find a way to politely be like 'shut the fuck up and go to your own section you're not in charge here and im HANDLING IT :)' #but today i cannot express the extent of couldn't be arsed radiating from me #had me on a 10 hour shift (6 HOURS OF WHICH WAS RUNNING FOOD) when im SICK #and im one of those people that physically im very healthy never have any problems but when i DO have problems cor blimey do i have them #so like my head was swimming had total brain fog kept getting dizzy and nauseas on top of having a stuffed nose and an awful cough #at WORK. at a WAITRESSING JOB. hell i tell you #so yeah this girl was pushing my last limit and i just knowwww i was so rude to her all day #she'd tell me to do something and id fully not even respond id just give her a LOOK #like imagine me polishing cutlery she comes over tells me to do something in my section (NOT HER BUSINESS) #and i just. pause polishing a second. look at her like she shot my dog. and then continue polishing like she never said anything #AND THAT WAS THE GOOD OUTCOME BC IF I DIDNT JUST TOTALLY BLANK HER I WOULDVE STARTED AN ARGUMENT #I WAS SO FUCKING DONE YOU DONT UNDERSTAND #like i feel like a lot of this is dumb waitressing hierarchy/social no-nos so just TRUST ME that the shit she was doing was not on #if you've ever worked the catering industry ESPECIALLY floor staff then you'll get it #like the only right you have to another staff member's section is if you outrank them #if you're just another random fucking waitress let alone a STUDENT JUST LIKE ME #LIKE SHE DOESNT EVEN HAVE THE AGE ANGLE TO GET THE HIERARCHY ON ME #then literally just. shut your fucking mouth. YOU DO NOT MESS WITH ANOTHER WAITRESS'S SECTION #i have literally ignored tables before bc the waitress on section is one im iffy with and if i 'steal' her table it can genuinely #effect your social life at work #it's so fucked #so yeah i was rude and borderline mean to this girl but WHAT WAS SHE EVEN PLAYING AT TO BEGIN WITH #hella slaves to capitalism