#but ya this isnt meant to be like anything crazy or nothing i just felt like talking abt izaya and some stuff in particular i found amusing

[subarashiihibi]

my thing about izaya is that he's so strange and weird and i love that so much. i didn't want to ramble too much in the notes of that poor person's post but i find the way he speaks and the words he chooses so interesting so let me ramble a little bit. this may or may not even be coherent so bear with me here im just going to speak my thoughts.

ok this got really fucking long and all over the 0place so im putting this under a read more sorry.

so i have volume 9 of the novel in both english and japanese. i only have two novels in japanese and that is this one and yuuyake wo. so i'm pretty crazy about this izaya speech analysis shit. anyways i was rereading thru the jp ver the other day just to compare it to the eng and i kinda realized that like.

a lot of people you can separate their speech in either formal and informal speech right? someone like shizuo speaks really informally and uses a lot of rough, dragged-out versions of words and stuff (しゃーねえ vs しょうがない) and then someone like shinra who speaks in a ton of yojijukugo and generally sounds like a nerd emoji gijinka.

izaya on the other hand rly... doesn't fit in either? i mean sure he sounds like another nerd emoji gijinka but it's kinda different. it's not so much the words he speaks but rather the intonation and his tone...

and he has his moments where he speaks pretty seriously and whatnot of course, but in general he just... doesn't sound very human when he speaks? i don't know if that's a conscious effort or not. is it his attempts at distancing himself from his own individual humanity? or is it just because he's a weird guy? i dunno. but it's interesting nonetheless.

one thing i will note though is that despite his somewhat inhuman speech patterns, it's also pretty...dramatic? to the extent where it's really exaggerated but also very cute and charming. (this part is important.)

i think a lot of what makes izaya's speech so weirdly inhuman is because he doesn't really use a lot of slang or similar lingo that people his age would typically use. i know mikado said in the novels that he doesn't really try to fit in with his age group's fashion sense either so it makes sense but still. he's like an old hag it's so funny. and it's because of that that when he says stuff like 'i don't get all hot and heavy over headless women' or whatever he said to celty it's really amusing to me because like... why is the strange man saying this?💀

another example i kinda giggled about on my twitter when i read it it's not even crazy and i sound corny and cheesy and stupid but theres this scene in vol 9 where izaya messages celty for business and hold on let me just put it as a quote.

he sounds so old saying 'video game' like 😭 idk it's just funny cause he barely even knows anything abt games like bro knows nothing im crying

in the jp hes like 「…ゲーム中なのかい？」 and then when celty tries to explain herself he says 「何を言ってるのか、良く解らないんだけど」 and im rly bad at tling parts of sentences and stuff but just know that the way he words it makes it sound like this gif to me

i love both versions i think the original jp makes him sound like hes so lost and confused (hence why pw gif cause lord that man always looks lost LMFAOOOO) and then eng tl just blunt ass "I don't know what you're talking about." makes him sound like full on hag 😭😭😭

OMFG WAIT I HAVE TO MENTION THIS FUCKING SCENE WITH SHINRA ITS SO FUNNY.

first i think it's funny the translation has izaya say fuck here cause he very rarely swears and i did read this one thing about how he only swears when his mask slips so to me this is like genuine bewilderment that he cant even hide LOL. second why is he so excited to hear about 'whatever sexual fetish' shinra has im crying he's so damn nosy . okay but this is not the funniest part let me add that now.

???

ehy the hell is izaya orihara talking about foot fetishes???😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 im crying bruh i was so flabbergasted when i read this i was like WHAT did he just say? he says it in the jp ver too which just makes it even funnier. this goes back to what i said earlier but i always get so amused when izaya has something to say about sex or whatever cause he's so fucking weird and unsettling why does he know that

(i mean i also get so hard i nearly pass out thinking about izaya tlaking about sex but thats probably just a thing with my heart condition and stuff)

oh also another scene i think is really cute and amusing and funny is back when shinra was first still trying to get izaya to form the bio club w him.

1. shinra is funny as fuck in this scene but also izaya's "Hmm. Can I punch you?" made me havbe a good laugh. in the jp he says 「んー。殴ってもいいのかな？」 which is pretty much the same thing just with the intonation of like 'hmmmmmmmmm should i hit u or not...' sorry like i said im just bad w explaining this stuff. but i felt the need to point it out not cause im one of those annoying ppl who praise the original jp ver and reject translations and localizations i just think it's important for izaya specifically cause i love him and i want to analyze his speech patterns as best as i can.

i was going thru the novel just now for other stuff i wanted to mention and i forgot abt this part but it's so funny.

'Let's not get hasty. Type calmly, please.' its not even funny or nothing i just find it so amusinf whenever he talks like that💀 i will say though the english translation kind of makes him sound more weird and inhuman than the original. that line in the original was basically just him telling her she needs to calm down enough to at least type properly LOL. idk if im just being nitpicky cause this is izaya tho so feel free to ignore that. fwiw i like the eng tl bc while it's a different intonation than the original japanese ver i think if he did speak english it would probably sound smth like that anyways.

this too made me laugh like ??? seriously he is really nosy when it comes to people's intimate affairs. in the jp ver he calls them an 'intimate couple' which just is like .. ok bro💀

does anyone else see my vision of izaya getting cucked by celty (does it count as cucking when celtys the one dating shinra) while he looks sad and pathetic and miserable that he never decided to shoot his shot w shinra back in the day

if i were commenting on the actual stuff going on in this scene rn this post would be a lot olonger and even more terribly all over the place so im just gonna focus on how i think it's funny izaya says 'easy, man...' this is like one of the only times his words are somewhat natural and sound like smth you would hear someone else say. in the jp ver it's 「おいおい…」 which is somewhat less out of left field in terms of coming from izaya but still it's pretty surprisingly normal. i have to wonder if in that moment he's too worried about shinra to care about keeping up appearances.

this is just random and me making fun of izaya as usual but why the hell does he weigh himself after his showers💀💀💀 it's cute and endearing and only adds to his strong gap moe but still... it's strange...

speaking of cute things this is from a volume i forget but he says this one phrase a couple of times and it is just both really cute and also kind of idk... saddening. one of the times i can remember he says it is when namie was making fun of him or something and he replies 'Don't tease me. I'm only human.' or something along those lines and it's like . hm. ok.

i think it's cute he says 'dont tease me' a few times cause eughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh (trying to ward off severe brain damaged incoherent thoughts) but 'im only human' is like... are you really? even after you try so hard to escape your own humanity and individual self so much... im going to try and give my thoughts on it here but this is just based off my hc that izaya has bpd so yanno. im basing a lot oif this on my own experiences sorry. i do that a lot. (gestures over to all the posts i make abt fob/mychem fan izaya)

when it comes to just straight up acknowledging his humanity izaya has no problems with this because 'sure, i'm human. isn't that obvious?' is probably something along the lines of what he thinks. it's easy for him to just say that because it's just that. it's just words. it holds no real meaning and shows no true insight into how he actually perceives himself. but when it comes to actually having to come face to face with his own humanity and the fact that yes, he is only human, it's a lot more difficult because now it's out of his control. i wonder also if he has problems with perceiving his own self.

i say this a lot but i truly do believe izaya is so so so beautiful and i love him so much. also i just saw a funny post on twitter so i wanna say this here idk if yall know this but izayas actually a latina hes got chismosavirus❤ ok thats all i have to say sorry for rambling so much

#my media literacy suddenly skyrockets when it comes to izaya #anything else im like zzzzzzzzzz as soon as its time to talik abt izaya im like I'M UP !!!! 💯💯💯💯 #but ya this isnt meant to be like anything crazy or nothing i just felt like talking abt izaya and some stuff in particular i found amusing #sorry if i sound stupid in some spots im trying not to just add 20 skull emojis or crying emojis and make fun of him #it's either that or im trying not to sexualize him #it's a battle. it's prety hard. #theres a REALLY easy joke i could make there but im not going to . im gonna be mature . #ok sorry thats all i dont have enough energy to think anymroe #i started new meds today and my heartds feeling a little funny so imight die after posting this</3

[love-and-anarchy-au]

Love & Anarchy: Chapter 17

hey yall. i wished i had something to say about this chapter but i dont. this chapter took my soul and sold it to the devil, so now im going straight to hell :’) (as it also gave me writer’s block and a precious mental breakdown). i cant say i hope you enjoy this chapter cause it isnt enjoyable at all. is a necessary chapter, so i hope you understand.

REMEMBER THIS AU HAPPENS IN THE SAME UNIVERSE THAT THIS ONE

Find out what this AU is about here

Masterlist

WARNING: this chapter includes death and violence.

Tag list: @healing-winston-pratt @dawniebb @obsidianfr3sk @nodrianbcyes @everyone-has-a-nightmare @magykaldealings @nobellrenaissance @cerenoya @cassin-the-assasin @cindersnightmare

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Words

11,550

Part 2: A teen named Ace Artino

16 years old Alec

See ya, Acey <3

    They had agreed to meet in Gatlon Park, in a hiding place where there was a strange copper statue. Alec was dressed in his usual, normal clothes (though people considered that style was rather formal), walking until he reached the park. It was nine in the morning and the sun was still not showing all its splendor nor giving all its warmth. It was Sunday, so there weren't many people circulating; Sundays were prodigy hunting days and people used to split into small groups of self-called Squads. They carried their nets, red bands and were dressed in gray. They knocked from door to door, asking if there were  prodigies in that house, and if they were not granted permission to come inside, then they would break the door down.

    Commonly, they were known as the Death Squads.

    Luckily for Alec, Alexandra, and James, the Squads specialized more in the Gatlon suburbs, given that inside the city people were so crazy that it didn't take more than one person to murder a defenseless prodigy.

    Well, maybe they weren’t lucky.

    No prodigy was.

    Alec sighed. He stopped at the corner of the block, before crossing the street, since the light was green and the cars were speeding by like a car race.

    The traffic light turned red.

    Alec was about to cross.

    About to.

    His senses, his telekinesis, felt something that was not far away. A metal box, rubber wheels, leather, cotton, more metal, plastic, cables, pedals, motor, gasoline...a car. This car was approaching at full speed, and it couldn't stop on its own. Alec could stop him, but it would reveal that he was a damn prodigy.

     So the car went by in  the  blink of an eye, without even having a chance to realize that the traffic light was red, for how fast it was going.

    Alec sighed again and crossed the street in a couple of long strides.

    Gatlon's park had an extension of five hectares, all lined with trees, wooden, plastic,  playgrounds made out of metal, statues, busts, concrete paths, and even a small  artificial lake. Alec, James and Alexandra did not usually hang out there, as it was where the majority of the prodigy burnings took place. James was the type of person who was capable of trying to stop a demonstration of the opposite party to his at all costs; that was the reason why Alec and Alexandra went to the park alone and hid in their place: the Valley of the Goddess of Heaven.

    How they had discovered this place was to the credit of Alexandra's spiders. Alexandra's power was to control spiders, see what they saw, hear what they heard. That  was  why  Alexandra precisely  knew what most did not. She knew where the best bars were. She knew the secrets of many. She knew the best corners of Gatlon’s park. And she decided to show it to Alec. Only him, because according to her, James would not be able to appreciate it.

    When they first went there, Alexandra only told him that she would see him in the Valley of the Heaven Goddess, and Alec understood absolutely nothing. While he insisted that Alexandra should give him a specific address, he only got mysterious smiles from her. He wished he were a telepath right now, but then he remembered his deceased sister, and her sunken shoulders and eyes, and he wished he weren’t a prodigy at all.

     Either way, what she did achieve was for them to go together, so, when they went to the park that time, they entered through the most inhospitable side of it , closer to the artificial  lake. Alexandra took Alec's hand and led him through the bushes, which hid quite a steep slope. They walked carefully down the slope, step by step, and found themselves in a small valley full of trees and bushes and a statue painted with green vines. Alec and Alexandra leaned back on the grass, confident, staring at the enigmatic hooded statue. Neither of them said anything; just before they left, Alexandra told him the story of the statue:

    “That statue is the Goddess of Heaven. It is ancient, more than a century old, and it represents a mythological goddess of a civilization native to these lands. The Goddess of Heaven held the stars and prevented them from falling on top of this civilization. They adored and benevolent her. When the conquerors arrived, they were moved by such belief and, before annihilating that civilization, they gave them this statue. Legend has it that this statue held a star, but the colonizers took it away. I come here every day, hoping that one day, the star will return to where it belongs.”

     It was not necessary to ask how Alexandra knew that story. Alec just nodded and later they went back to their mundane lives, step by step, smile by smile.

     Four years had passed since then.

     Now, he was seeing Alexandra for very different reasons.

     Unimaginable for the Alec of the past.

     Alec clenched his fists and slowed down.

     How were you supposed to explain your girlfriend that you didn't want to kiss her because the mere thought of someone kissing your lips made you nauseous?

    Well, he definitely wouldn't tell her that.

    Alec sighed for the third time. He had reached the main entrance of the park and was so immersed in his memories, that he did not even realize that they were setting a prodigy on fire. It was a sound, such an everyday act that it was often automatically silenced by Alec's ears. However, that did not imply that it wasn’t horrendous enough for Alec to start walking away from that crowd of people (who acted like animals).

    Then he heard it.

    He heard her.

    A scream, a shriek, a wail, a fine and sharp sword in Alec's heart, pierced the entire park, all the ears of those present around him.

    That scream could only belong to one person.

    The same one he had he was meant to see there.

    “ALESSANDRA!” Alec yelled, as he made his way through the crowd of humans / animals. He pushed, tripped and elbowed himself from the masses of people but he didn't care because he had to get to his beloved...

    There were many, many people and a lot of light and ashes and screams and...

    “ALEC!” Alexandra answered, with a raspy voice .

    In the center of that crowd, there was a large pole, fifty centimeters in diameter, and Alexandra was tied to it, hand and foot, like a witch. Beneath her feet (which were dangling) was a raging fire that wanted to consume everything, Alexandra included. The more people arrived, the more the fire grew, as these same individuals threw highly flammable items  to make the fire grow. Papers, gasoline, garbage, whatever. The flames were beginning to rise through Alexandra's clothes and skin and it would be a matter of minutes until the girl was just a piece of charred meat.

    They were burning her, they were burning her, they were burning her.

    “ALEXANDRA!” Alec shouted again, when he reached the front of the fire and was five meters from Alexandra, which was as close to the fire as allowed him to get. Alec started to sweat and gasp from the heat and the fact that he didn’t have the physical condition to run this fast.

    Alexandra made a guttural sound in response.

    “Go away, Alec! GO AWAY!” the girl snapped, gasping, as she writhed under the will of the flames. In her words you could feel the effort behind her pronunciation, Alec's will was breaking and breaking.

    “Alessandra…”  he whispered. There was no voice left to scream. He had fallen to his knees in front of the fire; people from the crowd who were not focused on the fire but on Alexandra, hit him with occasional kicks. Bang bang bang.

    He couldn't...couldn't ...couldn't save his beloved.

    He was just a telekinetic.

    Asking for help was an absurd fantasy.

    He...he...was to blame for all that.

    If only not ...!

    “Alessandra ... forgive me,” Alec pleaded, and looked at her in the eye. Alexandra was looking at Alec with lava in  her eyes, not angry but nostalgic. Her expression was exhausted and her mouth opened and closed as a fish out of the water, looking desperately for air. The fire was just touching part of her feet right now, but the pain was unbearable, according to what Alexandra’s expressions said.

    “Don't apologize for existing. Never,” Alexandra ordered with lots of effort and closed her eyes, while she rummaged with her untied hand for something in her right pocket. She hauled it out and tossed it at Alec, awkwardly but effectively.

    Alec caught it (with a very subtle aid of his powers, indistinguishable among that animal crowd) and treasured it in his hands. It was hot but not as hot as he expected. It was a cassette.

    “You're not the villain in your story, Ace,” Alexandra proclaimed, and Alec looked into her eyes again. Her voice was cut between gasps and insults from the crowd; in spite of that, the girl kept talking, with more difficulty as every second passed. “You weren't, you aren't, and you never will be,” she promised. The fire had almost destroyed all her feet and her voice had grown as strong as a house of cards, if it hadn't been before.

    “I love you, Alessandra,” Alec said, his voice as firm as his beloved's.

    “Ti amo anch'io, Ace Artino,” Alexandra Onitraze said without smiling but putting all her self on it, and shouted, with the last strength of her soul, with her whole soul, “FUCK Y'ALL, SUCKERS! WE'RE ALL GOING TO HELL!”

    And that was the last incentive the crowd needed.

    A man threw (at least) five liters of gasoline on the fire without pain or glory but with a hundred tons of suddenness. The fire rose up the thirty-foot length of the pole, like snakes curling at breakneck speed over wood and Alexandra. The snakes scorched Alexandra completely, in a matter of seconds like a small and contained explosion. When the fire died down, Alexandra’s body was unrecognizable; her arms and legs were black and bloody, her face was just ashes and pain. She had no hair left, just a horrific image of what Alexandra Onitraze had been, and not even that. A putrid smell crept up Alec's nose and contaminated his lungs.

    Alec couldn't bear it: Alexandra's corpse (the frightful remains), the listless boos from the crowd, the smells, the hate, the memories, it was all too much; reason why he started crying 

    He was about to fall to his knees to the ground, but the crowd booed him and started kicking him outside, to the chorus of:

    “Be a man, faggot!”

    “It was a monster!”

    “Moron.”

    “Why are you crying? Aren’t you a real man?”

    “Are you crying over your whore friend? Sissy.”

    ”Look at her, she's a little girl crying because we saved her from her satanic doll.”

    “Pussy.”

    As people continued to insult, Alec wandered among the real monsters, oblivious to all their insults and profanities. For him it was unintelligible how these beings could hate their equals so much, their brothers. Prodigies were also human and Alec could not grasp how one human was capable of dismissing another as scum.

    However, despite the invasive toxicity of his environment, there was only room for two words in his mind and those were ‘Alexandra’ and ‘James’.

    One was dead and the other was still alive.

    Or so Alec believed.

    An unusual panic and despair invaded him with the worst thoughts.

     Speeding up his pace , he ran out of the crowd, thirsty for the knowledge that James was still alive, unlike Alexandra. His mind was colonized by many ‘What if? What if? What if?’.

    Alec had to see James.

    Before it was too late.

#love & anarchy #love & anarchy au #ace anarchy's backstory #ace artino #a teen named ace artino #ace anarchy #alec artino #renegades au #before renegades #renegades fandom #marissa meyer #renegades universe #renegades #my au #au #fic #writer #writer on tumblr #read #reblog #tw: death #tw: violence

[shhh-no-ones-home]

secrets (2/2) izzy stradlin x reader

+++++++++

part 1 part 2

tour is over, its been about two months since it ended. you all are finally back to your own places in LA and youve been back and forth with izzy ever since, spending much more time with him as well as all the gnr guys. the aftermath finally caught up with you though.

song: forgive me mother by the relentless

tag list: @cynic-spirit @satans-arse

+++++++++

"hey mike can i ask you a question?"

i looked over at duff who wasnt really paying attention. i was hoping if i used his real name he would understand i had something important to say. it didnt. he kept moving his fingers against his bass, strumming it and nodding his head back and forth.

"mikey?"

i asked again but still nothing.

"Micheal!"

i practically yelled and he looked up at me shocked.

"jeez y/n cant you see im busy? what?"

i huffed and crossed my arms over my chest, sinking further into the couch.

"i have a question."

he looked over at me like 'really?'

"okay?"

he said unamused.

"do you think im a good person?"

i said a little shy. he drew his brows together before setting his bass down.

"of course, youre like a sister to me."

he said and i shook my head.

"thats not what i meant."

he looked at me a little concerned.

"wheres all this coming from?"

he asked, sitting back and really looking at me. i shrugged.

"i have a secret that i really want to tell you but im scared."

he placed his hand gently on my thigh, squeezing it.

"you know you can talk to me about anything but if its to much you dont have to."

i nodded.

"duffy i-"

i closed my eyes and inhaled deeply. then the front door swung open, snatching my attention. iz and axl both walked in, izzy sending me a weird look noticing duffs hand still on my leg. they both walked down the hallway away from us.

"ill tell you later."

i said, standing and walking to the kitchen.

"okay."

he said softly, watching me leave. i stepped behind the wall for a second and took a deep breath, hearing him strum his bass again. if i couldnt even tell duff, how the hell was i supposed to talk to izzy about this. i walked slowly to the fridge and looked in it, frowning.

"god, do we have anything here other than alcohol?"

i complained, slamming the door shut.

"its never been a problem before."

izzy said sternly, making me jump as he watched me from across the room sipping his beer. i hadnt really noticed him there when i walked in and was wondering if he had really been there that long. i could have swore he went to the back room with axl. i shook my head of the thought and sat down at the table.

"maybe i want something different for once. is that a problem?"

i asked, picking at the doily under the napkin holder. he shrugged and sat across from me, crossing one leg over the other.

"i guess not."

he kind of snapped back. i frowned at him.

"you okay iz?"

he seemed a little off but then again maybe i was just projecting my own feelings onto him.

"yeah im great, why do you ask?"

he said a little coldly and i drew my brows, looking down at the table. i knew we were a secret and all but he didnt have to be mean about it. hed never been like this with me before.

"i dont know, you just seem a little mad."

i said softly, not wanting to actually anger him. he took a long sip of his beer.

"nope just ready to be alone i guess."

he sent me a knowing look and i immediately knew what he wanted. part of me wanted it to but i had more pressing matters to attend to. besides, duff and ax where still here and we wouldnt be able to get away with much, specially not the way he made me scream the last few times.

"alone doesnt sound like a bad idea."

i said back, noting the glimmer of hope in his eyes as he smirked at me, taking another drink.

"hey, slash called and we're gonna meet him and steven to eat, you two coming?"

duff said, poking his head into the kitchen.

"uh no im good, im not hungry."

i said looking over at him and he nodded.

"how bout you iz?"

he side nodded.

"no, ill stay here with y/n, we can go grab something later."

duff nodded once.

"okay."

he said disappearing behind the wall again. i thought for a second before standing and walking to the doorway, watching him and axl leave, waving goodbye before he closed the door. then i felt a looming behind me and it didnt take long for his hands to find their way to my hips.

"so, alone time..."

he said softly, leaning down and nuzzling his nose into my neck. i sighed out as he began kissing there, his thumbs rubbing circles into my sides. then, without warning he spun me around and connected our lips, kissing me deeply. i wrapped my one arm around his shoulders before remembering what i really needed to do and pushed him away.

"wait."

i breathed and he moved in for another kiss.

"i said wait."

i smiled at him, free hand firmly against his chest.

"c'mon, i missed you."

he protested kissing my cheek a few times, slowly moving to my neck.

"i have something to tell you first."

he hummed against me, his hands making their way to my ass and sliding into my back jean pockets. my eyes went wide as he looked at me a little confused, pulling what was in there out. my heart rate increased as he looked down at it with his brows furrowed.

"surprise?"

i said carefully, trying to study him. he just stared at it for a second, not letting me go.

"wait, y/n what is this?"

he looked up at me. i cleared my throat, feeling his hand remove itself from my waist as he held the picture with both hands now.

"what does it look like?"

he looked down at it again then back up at me and his face fell.

"this isnt what i think it is right? you arent?"

i scratched the back of my neck nervously.

"it is, and i am."

his mouth opened and closed a few times like a fish. his hand found its way into his hair, his eyes getting wide as he stumbled back.

"wait."

he said shaking his head.

"i need to process this for a second."

i sent him an odd look.

"izzy are you okay?"

he shook his head no and went back to the table, sitting down and staring at the photo.

"youre... pregnant."

he said slowly. i walked to him and placed my hand gently on his shoulder.

"yep."

i said a little worried now.

"who's is it?"

he asked looking up at me. i sent him a look.

"do you really need to ask?"

he let out a staggered breath and looked back down at the photo sitting on the table.

"so it is mine."

he affirmed with himself and nodded a few times, very slowly. he turned his head back to me and of course my stomach was eye level with him. he looked up at me for a second before wrapping his arms around my waist and kissing my stomach, never once breaking eye contact.

"i know ive never said it before cause we are so on the down low we are basically nonexistent but i love you. so much."

he said sincerely, standing up and placing his hands firmly at my back, pulling me closer to him. i smiled at him, tears stinging my eyes.

"i love you too Jeffrey."

i said softly, placing my hand against his cheek. he picked me up quickly and sat me on the table, leaning down and kissing me deeply.

"what the fuck?"

i heard and both our attention snapped to the kitchen doorway, duff standing there with a shocked expression on his face.

"i thought you were getting dinner with slash."

i said, eyes wide.

"i forgot my wallet. and hey! i thought you two were just friends!"

he torted back.

"not anymore."

izzy said, holding the picture of the sonogram up.

"im gonna be a dad."

he said endearingly, looking back down at me with a wide smile across his lips.

"youre pregnant?!"

duff practically screamed, walking into the kitchen and taking the picture from izzy. i nodded.

"thats what i wanted to tell you earlier."

he looked up at me, a distressed look on his face.

"my fake sister is pregnant with the child of my bands guitarist."

he said unbelievably, making me giggle.

"duffy its not a big deal."

he looked at me like i was crazy

"not a big deal? youre pregnant! this is life changing!"

"wait, y/n's pregnant?"

i heard slash say, the rest of the band coming into view behind him. i face palmed, making izzy laugh as duff moved to sit in the chair, looking over the sonogram again.

"alright, since everyone's here now, yes i am pregnant."

i said, looking over slash, axl, and steven as they walked into the kitchen. slash took the sonogram from duff and looked down at it, duffs fingers tangling in his messy blonde hair.

"who's the father?"

slash asked looking over at me, izzy still stood between my legs, looking smug as ever. he was still waiting for an answer though so i just pointed to iz.

"no."

he said, shocked.

"congrats."

steve said, walking over and half hugging me the best he could with izzy still in the way.

"thanks."

i said smiling at him. izzy faked hurt and frowned.

"hey, i had a part in this too."

he protested, axl coming over and slapping him on the back.

"oh we know. you dog!"

i laughed and hid my face in my hands.

"ya know, we were having a nice moment. what happened to you all getting dinner together?"

they all looked around at each other and shrugged.

"couldnt decide who would buy so we tried to pool together cash but duff left his wallet here. we came back to get it, he was taking too long so we came in to investigate why and now we all know the big news."

axl narrated.

"now i feel like you two have to come with us, as a celebration dinner."

slash said. i looked over at duff who still seemed like he was having a crisis.

"what do you say iz? celebratory 'we're expecting' dinner?"

he nodded, kissing me gently.

"id love that."

#wattpad #x reader #Izzy Stradlin #gnr #imagines #ones shots #245

[tommyquackson]

The Plant That Grew From the Root of All Evil |P. Parker| Part 2

summary: you’re no good girl, no you’re quite the opposite, chaos itself even, yet somehow, he still affects you // in which a villan and a superhero cross paths

warnings: murder, violence, witchcraft and possesions?, cursing of curse, and torture (lowkey intense) 

pairing: peter parker x villan!reader

authors note: this isnt exactly a love fic?? cause like it was more about their lives than eachother.. but idk i may change the last part and have them end up together, let me know though...

“Hey Pete, we still going to Mays for sunday dinner?” Ned asks his best friend and roommate. Peter is jolted out of his deep thoughts and research.

“Oh uh yea, text may and tell her we’ll be there in like in like 30 mins. I’ll text Tony.” He says finishing up reading the article he was on.

“What’re you working so hard on? Like we just finished midterms.” Ned walks behind peter to see what he’s reading.

“It’s just, some girl. You know Angel?”

“Angel....Oh! The badass lady villain you’ve been fighting?”

Peter gives his best friend a look of confusion.

“Uh..I mean, that bad criminal that’s wreaking havoc and that the amazing spider-man is gonna take down?” Ned corrects with a guilty smile on his face.

“Yea, well i found out she’s got, like i don’t know powers? I guess”

“What kind of powers?” Ned pulls up a chair to sit.

“I’m not sure” Peter rubs his face in thought. “Like strength and speed but it’s not like crazy noticeable. She-she-her eyes like glow? yea they glow like red and it’s creepy and I have no idea where she even came from.”

“Why don’t you ask that girl from high school? Remember everyone said she was like a pagan or something and she practiced dark magic and stuff. Maybe she knows something about it. What was her name? Something like-“

“Y/n!” Peter knows exactly who that is. She’d always been extremely quiet. She stayed in the library most days and seemed to always be studying dark magic and weird stuff like that.

How was he supposed to find you though, you’d dropped out of school 2 months before graduation. You didn’t have any friends and no one knew anything about you.

“I have no idea where she could even be” Peter says defeated.

“Oh she works part time at the library next to the little park. It’s just a train ride away. Can’t take more than 10 minutes.” Ned says moving to pull up the place on Peters laptop.

“Ned, you’re the best man in the chair a hero could ask for” Peter says winking at him, making ned swell with pride. “We can go tomorrow after classes, now come on. May and Tony are waiting”

Your day job was nothing short of fairly boring, you worked at the library near a small community college so you really only had to deal with students trying to study and little kids reading picture books. The library was fairly big so each librarian handled their own section. You handled the history and “magic/religion” section. But since that section was usually only littered with students trying to write a history paper, you stayed at the front desk on your floor.

Today, you’ve been at work since 9am and it’s already 3pm. You don’t get to leave until 8. You’re sitting at the desk, filing through the books that are recorded as late. You hear the door to your section open and you look up to greet whoever’s there.

“Hello, welcome to Green Acres, History and Magic/Religions section what can I do for you?” You speak kindly to the 2 college aged boys who walked in with their backpacks.

“Hey, this is probably super weird, but we actually wanted to talk to you” The smaller, white one speaks as he gets to the desk.

“Umm-“

“Sorry my friend Peter, made that seem really weird. I’m Ned, we went to high school with you. We just had a few questions and we figured given your occupation you’d be the best to help us” The larger one says stepping in front of “Peter”.

How’d they know you worked here, you haven’t talked to anyone from high school. Which occupation is he talking about, do they know about your secret identity. If so, how you’d been so careful.

“Okay...well what’d ya wanna know?” You relaxing into your chair a bit.

“We have questions about like powers... A friend of mine, she um, well they started behaving strangely and I was wondering if you could help figure out what was wrong?” Peter says tapping his long fingers on the desk.

“oh, sorry i’m in the magic and historical and section you’d be better off asking Mrs. Alice in the health and personal care section.” I say wondering why this boy would need my help. I’m not a doctor.

“oH! Yea I know, but my friend, we uh, we suspect that it has something to maybe do with possible magic?”

“You think you’re friend has gotten in to magic?” You raise your eyebrow.

“I know it sounds crazy but please you’re the only person i could think of to help me”

“Why because everyone at Midtown thought I was a dark and evil witch” You speak standing up from your desk and walking towards the shelves.

“No! No- I just, you used to study witchcraft and i figured since you work in the history section you could tell me if this has happened before. I didn’t mean to imply your a witch, that would be rude but I-“

“Who said they were wrong” You wink before guiding the boys towards a dimly lit section. “So, What’s happening with your friend” You say pulling out your favorite books.

“Well, she uh she’s much stronger than she was before, and she’s faster and more agile. She also has this um, this like type of glow around her? It’s like black and then her eyes glow red”

“Mhm, whole eye or just the iris?” You speak turning to one book.

“iris”

You look at the pages that detail when spells go wrong. Nothing describes the right situation. You turn to entities that may be possibly possessing the friend.

“I’m not seeing anything, wait, you said she has a glow around her kinda like an aura right?” You slam the book closed and move to this super large book about entities and witchcraft.

“Yea..”

“Holy fuck. Your friend, might just be the Grand One. The Grand One is someone chosen by the evil sprites to possess the grand power. It can be anyone, or anything at anytime for any reason. But they tend to sway towards people who have practiced and studied dark magic. If this chick gets anymore powerful, which i’m assuming she will, if you’re telling me the truth, she can wreak extreme havoc on New York. But that’s all if you believe in that mumbo jumbo anyway.” You slam the book closed and put it back on the shelf before walking away to your desk again. It was different outside, you could see through the large windows that the atmosphere had changed.

“Um. Thanks y/n, you helped out a lot” Peter and his friend Ned smiled as they left my building, whispering to each other.

You’d forgotten about the Grand One. It was simply just a dream you’d had when you were little. Telling you what would become of you. The people you would hurt and the chaos you’d reign. You thrived in chaos, reveled in it even, but it was a certain chaos. It was the frustration of everyone around you, knowing they’re just not smart enough, or strong enough not worth enough. It was the slow, dark, treaterous journey to the depths of hell that got your blood really moving.

At least, that’s how it was in the dreams. In real life, you weren’t exactly sure what was going on. You were too busy living day to day hoping that it’s all gonna be enough one day.

But what if, no, she wouldn’t have chosen you, she shouldn’t have chosen you. You weren’t meant to be the one to destroy the city. You weren’t Loki, you were just Hells Angel, low-level villanary. So why was the world trying to make you more powerful. It’s not what you wanted. But who dares be ungrateful when the gift of the Grand One is bestowed upon them, it certainly was quite a gift.

You shake your head and get back to work, waiting until it’s time to go home. When the time does come for you to go home, once again the atmosphere of the world has changed. It seems almost, sinister in a way. Like everyone knows it’s all ending tonight, they’re just not sure how or why.

You step through your house and hear thunder begin to roll outside, Shovel darts across the room and behind your legs. You weren’t expecting storms tonight, just then a strike of lightning lights up the entire room and you hear Eddie flip out upstairs.

fight

destroy

You spun your head around to see who could possibly have whispered that in your ear. You grab a knife you have and slowly inspect your room and apartment, you find nothing.

take

kill

THERE IT WAS AGAIN! A whisper, barely there but still strong enough to have you almost trembling in fear.

y/n

“who are you? what do you want” You felt so cheesy yelling those cliche lines.

you

Suddenly, you’re pushed down to your knees, when you look up you see her. She looks just like the picture in the old book you’d shown Peter and Ned just hours before. Her old face clouded in a dark fog like aura. Her eyes were red and empty, her long boney finger reached for you.

i have traveled years

to show you your destiny

my fate is now yours

Was this bitch really speaking in haikus right now? And what was she talking about? She continued to repeat her haiku from hell and seemed to get closer to you.

“If you’re the Grand One, does that mean i’m the one who you’re gonna possess?” You ask at her. She doesn’t answer just gets louder and closer.

You get a splitting pain in your head, it feels like someone is driving a knife between your cranium. You scream out and cover your ears as the witch gets louder and louder.

Then everything is silent, the witch is gone and so is the pain in your head. You look around and you feel normal. You sit on your bed in shock.

Was she in you now? Were you possessed? What would happen now?

you’ve always been possessed

i’ve been here for some time now

you recognize that voice! That’s Hells Angel, her voice drops am octave lower than yours and she speaks slowly but more confident. You’re going crazy.

You hear a knock on your door.

“Y/n? Are you okay? It’s Eddie, We-uh- I heard you screaming”

You stumble to the door and rip it open trying to fix your hair.

“Eddie, hey. Yea i’m fine. Just got a little frustrated with um, the TV. You know how Family Fued can get” You out on your best fake smile and lean against the door frame. Trying not to let Shovel out. “Are you okay? I know you don’t like storms and that lighting was weird” You speak trying to change the subject.

“Oh yea, just uh, caught us, me. It caught me off guard. Well, just wanted to check on you. So uh, goodnight y/n. Let me know if you need anything” He bods before sticking his hands in his hoodie pockets and walking up the stairs at the end of the hall.

You shut the door and walk back to your bed, ready to just go to sleep. You settle in and close your eyes almost asleep.

tonight’s the night 

“oh for fucks sake”

taglist: @detroitconnorfangirl @unicorn-sparkles123 @shallowshawn

#imagine #tom holland #tom holland imagine #spiderman #marvel #peter parker #peter parker imagine #peter parker x reader #spider man: homecoming #harrison osterfield #TPTGFTROAE #writing prompt #spiderman imagine

[the-little-red-noodle]

10/11/18 7:47

okay, lets talk. 

Ive had an emotional 24 hours. I’ve been anxious, i’ve been insecure, i’ve been angry and sad and hurt and manic and crazy and i need to get it out so i can fucking cleanse and move into my weekend.

It started with spencer, what like, 2 nights ago now? i dont remember when it was, but i was getting insecure and noticing how i was affecting him. it was yesterday, cuz it was wednesday. i was insecure and didnt want him to leave my room and i think i really stressed him out because i just wanted him to stay and say the things i wanted to hear, but that isnt reality. he cant read my mind, he cant know what i need to hear, thats why i need to communicate and not just suck into myself and away from him, but i didnt want to do that because i didnt want to be crazy, but then i got crazy and i made him kinda late because he dropped by at 3:30 and only expected to stay till 4 but he left at 6:27 as i needed to go to my 6:30 lab.. so i feel bad but i just agh i couldnt let him leave when i didnt feel good..

i didnt feel good because we talked about politics. he got me going on the wage gap, so i got heated talking about the misconceptions and he was (respectfully) arguing with me because he is suuupperrrr super liberal, very very left, very socialist, and he’s a politics major, so he’s well versed and i get that going in, but i also wanted to share my side because im fairly moderate; i dont believe in a lot of feminist rhetoric, or the wage gap stuff. i read the study, and it bothers me that people misuse the statistics to say that women get paid less for the same job, because that is NOT what the study found. The point was that women take different kinds of jobs than men and tend to work less hours and have less education and qualifications. THAT is the ‘feminist’ issue, not paying women less for the same job because thats illegal and cant happen. 

Heres the thing. I know there are sexist issues in our society. i know that it is harder for women than it is for men. but frankly, i feel better ignoring it as much as i can. i feel like if we keep telling women than they shouldnt be scientists because its a man job, or that society tells women that they need a leg up, because then we start believing it and internalizing and thinking we are less than men. i feel like if we just stopped talking about it, i wouldnt know that there was a gender discrepancy and id feel totally normal getting into stem. i dont want to feel like im some anomaly. and frankly yes, i notice sometimes. i notice the gender divide in stem. of fucking course i see it. i know that there are men in my neuroscience lab who think i dont know shit. im not blind, i know the STEM field is misogynistic. i know it is. but i dont like to subscribe to the feminist thing that im so held down and its because im a woman. but thats just me

anyway, my babe is very liberal and he was listening of course but also making sure i knew that the problems im ignoring are still there, which i appreciate but i also get kinda irritated with hyper liberal men because it sounds kinda guilty? like listening to a straight white man say that straight white men are the problem, annoys me. like yes thats true, but also ugh its annoying. i hate the men shame that feminism encourages.

so we kinda went back and forth for a while, which like, good that we can have real conversations, and politics is something that will inevitably come up, but as the conversation went on, i started getting insecure and anxious because confrontation scares me. not that he was really even confronting me? like spencer is such a sweet man, he’s gentle and kind and supportive and so sweet to me, and i know politics is literally his thing, and im glad that he’s super liberal as opposed to the other end. cuz like ya i am a queer woman and im glad that he seems like a strong advocate for minority groups like that, so like im glad, but i also started to feel like he was frustrated with me for like being ill informed.

 heres the thang tho, im not really ill informed. ive done my research, i watch the news, and im a big fan of shoe0nhead which admittedly is very moderate bias media, but its content i agree with. and i was telling him that im fairly moderate, and he was like ya i can tell, and i was like and politics isnt really my thing, and he was like ya i can tell. but i didnt mean that like i didnt understand politics, i meant it as like i try not to really get into the conversation (partially because of sarah lawrence)

no wait i did tell him that. i told him how involved i was in social justice stuff in new york, that i literally led the anti Trump protest in NYC after he was elected. and when i told him that, he got all dreamy eyed like it was so attractive that his girlfriend was an activist, which is cute n whatever, cuz everything he does is cute..

the point is, that after this conversation i was insecure because i felt like he would be mad at me (he wasn’t) or that he would hate me (he doesn’t). and i know that logically of course, but still... ugh idk, the conversation just got me riled up and then he had to leave town for the whole weekend and i was feeling like we wouldnt have enough time to resolve it

but he kept saying everything was fine, that he wasn’t mad, that he might disagree, but still loves me duh. and i know he meant it, but u know when you get in your head and youre like shit i said too much, and now he will never look at me the same because we slightly disagree about politics, like my moms dating a republican and they reallllyyy disagree on politics, like i will be fine! whats yer issue self?

but ya so i just felt insecure, and i know he was trying to comfort me even tho i didnt let on thaaat much that i was hurting. i feel like when people i love get confrontational with me (which again, he wasn’t) i get upset and my heart feels heavy and it hurts and i want them to leave and i would have just ended our hangout because we both had places to be and whatever we’ll deal with it later, but i knew he was leaving tonight and was gunna be busy and we couldnt deal with it so i was scared and when my attachment feels insecure, i get SO insecure. hahahaaaa i was thinking this relationship would be any different? gurl.

but heres the thing, he is.. he’s fine. he doesnt think anything is wrong and he’s still my sweet pea boyfriend. and i know that now, because i did get to say goodbye in a good re-establishing way tonight.

i knew he was leaving after his class at 6:30 tonight and i was nervous because i knew he was gunna be busy with packing up and everything.

i ran into him walking to class and we were fine and kissy and cute and i love him but as we were parting i was like can i say goodbye before you leave, but i dont think he heard me cuz he didnt really respond because we were diverging and he was giving me his sweet boy eyes with an outstretched arm as we parted and i was like shit im still insecurrrreeee

so i texted him during the first class like “hey i meant cant i say goodbye before you hit the road but sounds like yer gunna be busy so have a great weekend baby i love you!” and i meant it, i wanted to end on a good note but then he didnt respond all day, and my anxiety was mounting and i spent the rest of today in my room doing nothing but stressing about him. stressing about a boy, nothing new for me.

but eventually i got really tired and took a real nap, i had accepted that i wouldnt see him again.. sad.. i woke up at like 7:15 and i was like hmm let me see if his car is still here, ya know, cuz im crazy. i went downstairs to fill up my water bottle and his car was still in the parking lot. so ya know, i text him, cuz im crazy. and i was like drive safe babe <3 and then as i got back to my room there he was outside my door with bags in his arm to pack up his car and i was so effing relieved to see him. we hugged and kissed and he seemed genuinely happy to see me and i was so happy to get to have a moment with him before he left.

i walked him down to his car, and filled up his water bottle for him and once everything was in his car, he just kissed me.. and i know im a hopeless romantic, but i was so happy to just kiss him and feel his lips smiling and feel his arms around me and hear him giggle and be adorable.. 

my heart still hurts, but it’s different now. my heart hurts because I miss him. i already miss him even though he only just left. he’ll be gone until monday night and i might not even see him then because he’ll be exhausted, which is fair. but now im sad because ill just miss him. i know he’ll be camping and among friends and nerding out on his larping camp vacation is fresno. of course ill miss him.. because i love him..

as we were kissing by his car i was like be safe (cuz his larping thing is basically nerd war with foam weapons) and he was like “yeah i will, cant wait to see you when i get back”, and i was like yeah babe ill be here to patch you back together when you get back, and he kinda laughed at me and was like “i dont think that’ll be your intention when i get back” implying that ill probably just want to rough him up immediately when i see him like i usually do. which made me really really happy to hear cuz it was like acknowleding that everythings still good and we’re still crazy about each other and we’ll just want to fuck as soon as he’s home which is sweet to me, like to me thats such a sweet sentiment. and i just got so happy that he in his own way reminded me that like we’re still on a good track, and we’re still happy, and he still loves me, ya know?

and also as we were hugging and kissing i started scratching his back how he likes and he sorta moaned and was like “ugh im really gunna miss this.. like im gunna miss you of course, but im gunna miss your back scratches” and that made me happy.. 

he just makes me happy.. i really love him and i’m really grateful that i got to have this brief reconnection with him before he left town till monday.. 4 days without him is gunna suck, but i know he’s gunna be busy and probably not have service and be off the grid so we won’t talk unless he reaches out. but i will manage. he managed for 4 days while i was camping, so i can manage while he is nerd camping

omigod that reminds me how much i love him, again. he’s nerd camping. ugh i adore him

he was like babe you gotta come next time so we can get drunk and fight together and he was all smiley like he really wants to show me off at his nerd event which is so sweet.. and as he walked me back to the dorm entrance cuz i forgot my key, he called me his girlfriend, and even though its small, its something.. i’ll take it. 

i needed that brief little reconnection. the next 4 days i will have to detox. i have events planned like every day, so i’ll be fine. im gunna see my friends tomorrow and saturday night and i have chapter on sunday and should probably spend some time alone writing and detoxing and getting back to myself and feeling independent. 

i want time to shower and braid my hair and brush my teeth and feed my body good food and watch youtube and write. i need to stay writing. i need to keep journaling because i know how much it helps me. i need to get my emotions out and analyze why the things that upset me get to me. whats the root of the problem and how to get through it. i need that.

i was and still am so frustrated with myself that i got so insecure over one political conversation with spencer. like... thats a problem, ya know? 

and at least now that he’s out of town for the whole weekend, i dont really have an excuse for being anxious about seeing him? cuz he just drops by and i never know when cuz he doesnt text me first. like literally tonight as we were kissing outside my room he was like i came by earlier but you werent home, and i was like oh shit i was taking a nap and i slept through him coming to visit me :(( which is like oh my god that would have been so sad if i didnt get to see him on his way out because i was literally asleep! 

his dropping by, while its the cutest ever because it just like him wanting to see me, its also kind of stressful because i never know when its gunna happen, so whenever im home, im kind of anxious because he could drop in at any second, and of course i get happy when he does because then i get to see my baby, but alsoooooo it means i cant really indulge in my personal space because it could be interupted at any moment, and as i found out tonight, i cant take naps because then i could miss him :(

thats probably something we should discuss at some point, because it creates anxiety for me that is related to spencer, and i want to eliminate any bad vibes from my relationship

relationship.. he’s my boyfriend.. ohmigod wuuuuuuut im still shocked that he wanted to boo me up this much.. he’s so sweet and cute and nerdy ugh

i love him.. i need to get over this dumb insecurity that comes from mild confrontation? that wasnt even confrontation??

so lets remember the things to look forward to about this relationship

he loves me. he claims me proudly as his girlfriend. he wants to bring me to belegarth events, even this day one in san diego where he’d bring me home and introduce me to his home friends which is pretty huge.. he’s sweet, he likes spending time with me and he drops by frequently and stays for hours.. we’re good, and i know i sound crazy needing to convince myself, but thats because i dont want to bug him to validate me, especially not when he has this big event that he’s so excited for. and i want him to be excited for his event and feel secure with me, because of course i love him and want to be with him.

10:53pm i keep taking breaks from the journaling, i get distracted really easy, watching youtube and texting people.. trying to be social, its hard for me. also trying to bury my spencer texts, just cuz i know im crazy and i want to try to not think about him..

do i go walk down to the cooler to get food? or should i just subside on whatevers in my fridge.. also i really should fill up my tank.. and calculate the gas so my friends can reimburse me.. sigh

anyway, i think im feeling mostly better after yesterday. like obviously im still gunna think about it, and ill always worry if spencers as invested as me, but i gotta take it with the context that he was the one who pursued me and crushed on me from day one and wanted to date me and wanted to be exclusive with me and wanted to call me his girlfriend.. he says he loves me and he comes to visit me all the time and spends his free time with me.. he’s a sweet pea and i shouldnt be insecure about it

and not to be cryptic, but what am i even worried about? part of me was reluctant to even get into a relationship, and was supposed to be single and focusing on myself and if anything, dating women. i accidentally caught feels for an amazingly sweet nerd man, and believe me im happy about it. i love spending time with spencer and loving on him. but to be cryptic for just a second.. worst case scenario? he’s just not interested anymore and we break up. sooo? ya that would suck, and i would be heartbroken, but i would also be okay because i have good friends and the whole point of breaking up with ryan was to be single.. so..

anyway, i should probably wrap up this journal entry cuz its long and all over the place

omigod he just texted me

aww he’s letting me know that he got to his thing safely and he loves me

seeee he’s a sweet bean, yall are fine, can you chill now? he’s so into you and you dont need to be insecure about this right now

and wow i sound crazy writing this much, i’ve literally been writing for hours. i know i need to journal more, and this is literally just stream of consciousness for hours and hours.. alright, ima end here and do hw maybe..

stay grateful. stay happy. life is good, you are blessed. friends are good. boyfriend is good. school is good for now kinda haha but i need to stay positive! yes i have bad days, yes i have low points, yes i get insecure and sad and upset and lonely. but i am so very lucky to be alive and to be surrounded by support and love and to feel and give love freely. i am lucky to have found friends i can trust. i am lucky to still have my close friends from beyond this year of oxy. i am beyond lucky to have an incredible man in my life. and also its halloween season which means lots of fun family stuff and so many fun parties on and off campus and looking forward to showing off my jessica rabbit costume and seeing spencers cowboy beebop costume and just drooling over each other ^-^ 

it is going to be a great rest of this month, and after this is november, which means thanksgiving and family stuff, and better fall weather hopefully and that means getting spencer to wear more sweaters.. mmmph and then after that is december which means holiday season, and more family stuff, and of course, finding a time to see spencer and be cozy and watch christmas movies and again, get him into more sweaters.. mmmmmmmph yes babe

there is so much to look forward to!! events and planning christmas presents for people omigod im gunna start that note on my phone, theres so much to do!! cuz i also have so many new great friends for this holiday season which means more presents for people which im always excited about :) and getting to watch my puppy grow up and see my family and take in the quality time together <3 

i am loved. i am blessed. i am grateful. i want to spread love and positive vibes and happiness and love! so much love :)

okay. that’s all for tonight. shower, brush teeth, go to sleep. take care of yourself. LOVE

#samiswriting

[dovahgarbage]

FAR CRY 5 ENDINGS

yknow ya girl went and spoiled the ending for herself but something about how far cry 5 ended left a bad taste in my mouth

now im not one to criticize morally grey stories- oh who am i kidding, i am because its so often theyre handled poorly. 

i was excited about fc5 because hey i love the aesthetic. the villain seemed interesting- plus sign me up for some crazy biblical parallels because the bible has flare and anything that quotes it sounds 87% more poetic than it actually is. 

but theres something to be said, isnt there, for the only game in the series where the antagonists wins also being the only game that takes place in america and operates under a religious ideology. 

again, im also not one to dog a somber ending. sometimes its justified. hell i love how breaking bad ended because it felt deserved and on level with the tone of the show. you can get really creative with a not so happy ending, especially with a flawed protagonist. 

but enough foreplay- as much as i’d like to appreciate the thought behind fc5, its a bitter pill. see- there is no real way to win. joseph seed is the winner no matter the outcome. 

ending 1: you submit to joseph and take your friends and leave him and his cult to continue its work. you are triggered into killing your friends and presumably die.

ending 2: you capture joseph, but a nuclear explosion destroys hope county. joseph drags your unconscious body into a bunker and handcuffs you to a bed and tells you that he was right. and now you get to wait out the apocalypse together. (esp weird connotations if you play as a female because he mentions starting over in a new world so.. make of that what you will)

ending 3: a secret ending you can unlock at the beginning of the game by flat out refusing to arrest joseph and you and your friends get to leave alive and well and no one dies. (this is the best ending you can hope for)

and look, ubisoft has said the game isnt meant to be political and u know what- i believe them. i think that the writers really just wanted to tell a story and probably were so caught up in their badass villain that they didnt realize what the moral of this story really meant- “It’s better to leave well enough alone.”

no matter how hard you resist and fight, you lose. people suffer because of your resistance and you lose. joseph at one point even blames everything on you. And the game proves him right. if you’d just left, joseph and his people would’ve been prepared for the Collapse. 

and its a very .... centrist view point. if you do nothing, then no one will get hurt. but thats not how problems are solved. you cant just do nothing- for the best summation of my feelings on this, lets turn to a place you might not expect: the comment section of youtube

thank you, skytop082. 

again, i think theres a lot to like about fc5. the aesthetic is one of my favorites to explore and the Seeds (ew) are fascinating villains. they are traumatized people who traumatize others in an effort to “save” them. and the game even recognizes that these are bad people. but the ending... sort of validates their actions. i guess what im saying is- you cant have your cake and eat it too, ubisoft. 

joseph seed himself preaches of inaction. not very fair of you for punishing your players for helping people :///

#major far cry 5 spoilers #anyways welcome to my ted talk #i dont think the game is bad or should be all out shamed and boycotted but i think theres something to be said yknow #far cry 5 #rambles

[swearronchanel]

6.08, my last commentary™ R I P to me

I wanted to post this right away but my phone died and I broke my charger so I had to handle that but now I’m finally able to. I’m literally dead, I STILL can not process how amazing it was. So I’ll just get on with it post my earlier thoughts  

¡¡TODAY IS THE DAY AHH!! IM FREAKING LATE KILL ME

BUT HOW ARE WE ALREADY HERE? IM NOT READY FOR THIS SERIES TO END BUT I NEED TO SEE SHELGAH *SAFELY* GIVE BIRTH TO A HEALTHY BABY. ANYWAY IM LITERALLY GOING TO DIE AFTER THIS EPISODE SO ENJOY THE FINAL THOUGHTS OF MY LIFE, LETS GET IT ..

MY HEART IS ABOUT TO EXPLODE ITS BEATING SO FAST

TBH I MIGHT SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUST

SCREW THESE CREDITS BUT I NEED THEM BC IM NOT READY OMG

IM SCREAMING

aw baby! & hey val

Does this mean Delia had No letters from pats this whole time??

MY BBY SHELAGH OMG HER BELLY

SHE CANT REACH HER SHOE OMG SO PRECIOUS THOUGH

Sister MJ I love u 😭😂

Family planning clinic!

YES VAL! they’re women not criminals !!

YES TRIXIE THANKS BBY FOR SPEAKING UP

aww poor Barbara

“..There are tales of missionaries served for luncheon in those climes” LMAO OMG SISTER MJ THATS NOT WHAT SHE NEEDS TO HEAR RIGHT NOW

It’s so sweet that Babs really wants her dad, I feel. My grandfather officiated my parents’ and brother’s wedding, I hope he does mine. If someone wants to marry me one day ofc lol 😂😭

SHELAGH IS ACTUALLY YELLING .. WHY DO I LOVE IT?

All the shit she’s been through/delt with and pregnancy sets her off huh..

BUT TRIXE AND SHEALGH INTERACTING YESS NOT THE WAY I WANTED BUT ILL TAKE IT FOR NOW

AWW MY BBY CRYING SOMEONE HUG HER 😭😭💕💕

MY BBY TRIXIE IS SMIRKING AT MY OTHER BBY LOL STOP 😭😭💔

“Hot and bothered” 😭😂 Violet having hot flashes. That’s not funny but i giggled I’m sorry immature of me

I can’t imagine being around when the pill was just coming out(or antibiotics even) like that must have been so wild ? you really would think they were magic *remember Vanessa Redgrave saying that in series 2?*

my mom is a nurse at a gyn/fertility office and she informed me of so much at a young age lol maybe that’s why I’m so curious idk?

lol I remember being like 13 and my friends didn’t know there was more than just the pill when it came to birth control and I really felt I was an expert😂 but *a judge’s voice* irrelevance moving on.

Needing your husbands permisson for a bank account? *sucks teeth* Vete ya!

Aw my bby shelagh 💔💔😭

“And I’ll warrant you’ve never felt more scared” I AM! AND THIS ISNT EVEN MY FICTIONAL PREGNANCY

“Oh lass“😭 PHYLLIS COMFORTING HER OMG I AM CRYING ALREADY, I NEVER KNEW I WANTED THIS

"Phyllis you’ve been a real friend” IM NOT OKAY OMG, THEY’VE COME SO FAR I CRY

OMG SHELAGH BEING SO CUTE WTF OMGGG 💖

PROTECT MY BBY & HER BABY AT ALL COSTS 💕💕

THE NONNATUNs CHEERING SO PURE 😭

“What if something goes wrong?” stop tempting fate Patrick !!

“I’ve made up my mind” MY BBY I CANT DEAL .. once upon a time she couldn’t speak up and was so timid 😭 my bby has grown

Her lipstick is a nice color, wait what’s this lady’s name?

The nurses all together makes me so happy omg why is this so adorable, even Phyllis is there !! SO PURE💕

Lol poor Fred tries his best !

Damn secondment to st Cuthberts, I guess Trixie couldn’t even be considered for to be Shelagh’s midwife

SHELAGH IN THE CARDIGAN >>

OF COURSE SHE CHOSE SISTER JULIENNE WE WOULDN’T HAVE ACCEPTED IT ANY OTHER WAY

“‘MY DEAR” BRB DROWNING IN TEARS

but omg was Phyllis disappointed 😭 no don’t be hurt that’s her basically her mother! (sister j and Phyllis would’ve been a good tag team though)

this montage just reminds me brb #irresponsibleme

Future Hereward’s take a note from the Turners, find out about each other sooner rather than later

LOL TOM’S AWKWARD FACE BC BABS IS GETTING CONTRACEPTION

it’s Wilma! her name is Wilma, noted.

Lol what does she sell? Is the company like Avon ? 😂I’m confused but also screaming too much internally

poor Babs is so nervous and feeling awkward 😂

Her face while on the bed😂 I feel

LMAO BABS TAKING OUT THE DIAPHRAGM & DROPPING IT HA

BUT WAIT THAT WAS THE TURNERS BATHROOM WTF ??

Patrick putting on or tying Shelagh’s shoes my fucking heart is melting

She doesn’t want him there .. for now?

“..We’re a team” 😭😭💕💕 marriage goals

“The minute I look at you I’ll give you everything you ask for” BRB I AM INDEED GOING TO SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUST

I CAN NOT DEAL

Phyllis exercising 😭😂

“I have chosen one of my friends” OMG MY HEART

PHYLLIS BE MY BRIDESMAID !??

why does she only have one though? is it more like a maid of honor?

HERES COME MORE TEARS

THE SPANISH AYE DIOS MI CORAZON

Aw good for Wilma being happy with her job! Does everyone call the sofa the settee?

There’s that babycham! Still was never sure if it was alcoholic or nah? sparkling cider maybe?

OMG I HAVE A BOTTLE IN MY BAG THAT I BROUGHT FROM FLORIDA

new drinking came, shots every time the show makes you cry lol jk i’d be on the floor 20 mins in 

that sports car aye

My bby looking good 😍😍

she knows what it’s like to be hurt Christopher😭

You’re not supposed to take 3 at a time Wilma, I’ve been scolded enough

Okay so Babs just fell asleep and that’s all?? Preview made it seem more dramatic

Now is Val going to listen and not touch anything? lol probably

Violet always rocking blue eyeshadow haha

Is that a silicone faja?? that looks hella uncomfortable

TRIXIE’S FACE OF DISGUST HAHA

OMG THE FAM HELPING OUT WITH FUNDS MY HEART

I WANT TO BE APART OF THE NONNATUS FAMILY!

PHYLLIS AND BABS DRESS SHOPPING I LOVE THIS

“.. she’ll have me to reckon with”  TE QUERIO MUCHO PHYLLIS

I NEED A PHYLLIS IN MY LIFE

SHE HAS A FAV DRESS OMG I LOVE HER

HER FACE OMG I NEED THAT SCREENSHOTTED

SHELAGH MY BBY😭😭

Their new bedroom is so 60s I love it

She still didn’t read the pamphlet !! I love her omg, such pure intentions

OMG SISTER J REMINISCING, AH FINALLY SOME ACKNOWLEDGEMENT THAT SHE WAS A NUN, I AM SOBBING BYEE IM DYING. MY HEART RATE IS SLOWING DOWN

POOR DEELS AW OMG she doesn’t deserve this, she barely has screen time don’t hurt her 

Shealgh’s got another nightgown! 1962/2017 is apparently the year of nighties #thebrinylonforthewinthough

I love pink waffers 😭😂

SHIT WHAT’S WRONG WITH WILMA IM SCARED, IS IT A HEART ATTACK?? BLOOD CLOT??

poor vi!! aww she misses reggie too!

AW FRED HUG HER

and he’s fanning her omg so pure

SHEALGH’S GOING IN TO LABOR ?? AHHHHH OMGG IM NOT READY

but also she has a housecoat how cute

SISTER J SAID “HIS SPINE” OMG HOW DOES SHE KNOW ALREADY

“I knew it” bless u bby😭😭 she is a GEM. WHY IS SHE SO LOVABLE?

omg Wilma don’t die, Trixie can u save her 😭

shit not looking good, maybe this was the death they meant

shelagh throwing up yikes

“She’s smiling and waving” yea we know that smiling and waving😂😂 but omg doesn’t this remind anyone of when you’ve been partying too hard but you’re trying to convince your friends that you’re not ready to tap out yet😂😭

if not nevermind I’ll feel trashy lmaoo

PASS THAT GAS AND AIR SISTER J

AW BBY YOU ARE BRAVE!!!!!!!

IM CRYING BUT RUNNING OUT OF TEARS

HOW TF DOES LAURA LOOK GORGEOUS ALL SWEATY AND IN TEARS WHILE PRETENDING TO BE IN LABOR?? & i’m still a creature?

Poor Patrick! He must be going as crazy as I am!

I DONT HAVE ASTHMA BUT I NEED AN INHALER BC I CANT BREATHE IM SO ANXIOUS OMG

IM NOT A SMOKER BUT I FEEL LIKE I NEED A CIGG BC IM ABOUT TO LOSE IT

Trixie is doing Wilma’s makeup omg I can’t take this 😭💔💔

“I can’t believe I used to dream of this” OMG SHELAGH & SISTER J

“Every woman alive is the sum of all she ever did, and felt, and was.” ..“and how do you know that?” ..“ i wasn’t aware that I did until just now”

¡¡¡IM A W R E C K!!! l o v e that

SHE IS SINGING DORIS DAY’s SECRET LOVE AND I AM F*CKING DEAD GOODBYE

PATRICK SINGING ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE DOOR SOMEONE SEND H E L P IM DYING I BET IT’S “THEIR SONG” & YOU ARE ALL CORDIALLY INVITED TO MY FUNERAL IMMEDIATELY AFTER THIS EPISODE  

I’M NOT GONNA MAKE IT

“We can’t just be like any other couple.. because we’re us”

MY HEART WTF I SWEAR IT IS ABOUT TO BURST BUT IT’S NOT BEATING

IM DEAD INSIDE AND MY BODY WILL FOLLOW WHEN THIS IS OVER

Get in there Patrick!

“The children are here” .. to say goodnight omg no😢

OMG PATRICK HOLDING HER I AM FUCKING SCREAMING

“YOU CLEVER GIRL” OMGG WHO CALLED IT

I CANT SEE WHATS HAPPENING TOO MANY TEARS IN MY EYES

IT’S A BOY I KNEW IT WELL I HAD A FEELING !

BABYTURNERLAND 2.0!!!! QUE LINDO DIOS TE BENDIGA 💖👼🏼

WHAT IS HIS NAME???

THIS IS THE BEST EPISODE OF MY LIFE WOW I CANT PROCESS IT ALL

“May the lord bless you and keep you” OMGGG, JESUS HEIDI WTF ARE YOU DOING TO ME ??!! I’ve never been so invested in a show or fictional characters’ lives like this 😭😭

I NEVER THOUGHT WE’D SEE THIS DAY AND IM HAVING SO MANY FEELS, I BARELY HAVE ANY THOUGHTS I AM S h o o k, I AM NOTHING IN THIS WORLD. JUST USELESS TRASH FOR CTM

WELL, ALMOST 19 YEARS OF LIVING WAS GOOD ENOUGH RIGHT?

HONESTLY JUST PUT ME IN THE GARBAGE BC I HAVE NOTHING OF SUBSTANCE TO SAY IM JUST GUSHING AND DYING

BUT SERIOUSLY LAURA MAIN IS I N C R E D I B L E AND DESERVES EVERY AWARD SO PLEASE GET IT TOGETHER @ THE EMMYS, THE SAGS, THE GOLDEN GLOBES & ALL OTHER AWARDS OF ALL PRESTIGE!!  STOP PLAYING GAMES & GIVE LAURA + CTM THE RECOGNITION IT DESERVES  !! & no excuses it happened for downton!

NO WILMA IS DEAD NO

The pill is so great and useful and miraculous in a way but I’m glad they showed some of its issues but DID THEY REALLY HAVE TO KILL THE FIRST WOMEN THEY GAVE IT TO? I’m still here tho, I’m rolling

NO TOM DONT SAY THaT WTF? TRIXIE IS OVER U AND U ARE OVER HER don’t ruin the moment

why did I think bab’s dad was the rev Applebee Thornton 😭😂😂😂?? where’s Jane lol

My bby trixie serving looks as always 😍😍

Aw his daughter is cute

CHRISTOPHER LOOKS GOOD TOO UGH😍

What are knickerbocker glories?

lol Boots! lowkey want to go there to satisfy my 15 year old self who liked to watch British youtubers affordable makeup videos (tbh I still do when I’m bored)

REGGIE! OMG HE CALLED VI MUM I DIE

OH YEA THE WEDDING OMG LOL I DONT FORGOT FOR A SEC

IM STILL SCREAMING, MY FREAKING BBY JUST HAD A MIRACLE BABY !!!!! I LEGIT RAN OUT OF TEARS WHAT DO I DO

LOOK HOW FAR WE HAVE COME MY GOD

THE GIRLS SINGING “HAPPY WEDDING DAY” TO BABS OMG THAT WAS GREAT, I NEED FRIENDS LIKE THAT

I NEED TO WATCH THIS AGAIN AND IT DIDNT FINISH YET

LMAO TOM AND FRED HUNGOVER, relatable AF😂😭

SO IS TOM’S SURPRISE IS MONEY? Or is he going to buy her something!?

Barbara’s cape reminds me of Phoebe’s from FRIENDS

The stain glass !! love it

PHYLLIS LOOKS SO ADORABLE OMG HER BOUCLE SUIT AW

WHY A HEADBAND ON YOUR WEDDING DAY BABs? BUT good for them lol 😭 I don’t care enough at the moment  but let them be happy they’re so great for each other !

HE GOT A FUCKING CAROUSEL OMG

damn. Nice one Tom. I’m a little jealous, someone needs to love me like that.😭

“At times, the present seems most perfect when it seeds lie in the past. And others, life is rendered flawless when we look towards future, glimpsing from within one golden moment all the joys the days to come might hold” 💕😢😭

THE TURNERS, NOW A FAMILY OF 5 OMGGGGGGG 😭😭

THE NUNS SO PURE ❣️ lol obviously

“We can not stand still because the world keeps turning. Every year must give way to the next and it’s stories must be folded, tucked away like children’s clothes outgrown, cherished and never quite forgotten”

VANNESSA ALWAYS SAYS THE RIGHT THINGS UGH

Aw Angela with Tim!

My BBY SHELAGH IN HER BLUE OUTFIT WITH UNNAMED BABY TURNER ID CRY IF I COULD

“1962 was a year of great change at Nonnatus House, but there’s always change, everywhere, there are always new faces, new tears to shed, new joys to invest in , yet the circle of love is not broken, it expands.” YOU GOT THAT RIGHT🙏🏼👏🏼🙌🏻😭😭😢😢💖💖

I NEED THE CHRISTMAS SPECIAL LIKE TOMORROW PLEASE

lol Val screaming it’s snowing 😭 same

PATSY!!!

SHE AND DELIA KISSED OMG

GOOD FOR THEM 😭

ALSO GOOD FOR ME bc I was tired of the same complaints that BBC broke them apart and Patsy was “sent away” nah man Emerald was busy!

“Love bares all things, love believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things and love never ends”

THIS WAS INCREDIBLE WOW IM A MESS

IF I DIDNT KNOW THEY WERE COMMISSONED FOR 3 MORE SERIES I’D THINK THIS WAS THE END??

BUT UGH NOW WE MUST WAIT

ANYWAY I SEE THE LIGHT FOLKS

IDK IF THIS IS HELL OR HEAVEN BUT I AM DEAD, I SEE THE EARTH BEHIND ME

TBH ITS PROB HELL

Someone throw me in the damn ground already!!

In loving memory of Gabby Nuñez (1998-2017) taken far too soon because of the emotional toll brought by call the midwife, she didn’t choose to get so emotionally invested it just happened. She is grateful for her time on earth, you may leave comments, flowers or send money. Thank you for putting up with her nonsense and foolishness *now someone give my eulogy & someone else may come up and sing a hymn to conclude*

#call the midwife #I am certified TRASH FOR THIS SHOW #IT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL #MY GRINCH HEART GREW BEFORE IT DIED #lets get it 1962 #MY BBY HAD A BABY #ILL NEVER BE OVER IT #masterpost #my commentaries™