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#but with a bit of a reality check I'm desperately hoping for 2 more before the deadline
omaano · 1 year
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“Dank farrik!” Din shouts. “There’s a karking rancor in there!”
Boba is grinning like a kid. “Yes! And I haven’t named him yet. He imprinted on me. I spend so much time down here, you have no idea.”
The Return of the Mandalorian to the Book of Boba Fett by TranquilizedDropBear
If you ever thought "I love Boba Fett, I'd love to see him in his own damn show sometime" in regards to Ep 5 of TBOBF can I maybe very enthusiastically recommend you the above linked fic? Because it's lived rent free in my brain for months now and I've thought about it so much that as far as I'm concerned Boba was the one to fill in Din on the background lore about the fall of Mandalore and whatnot. Because we can all use a pair of maybe-Mandalorians bonding sitting on top of a rancor in our lives, no?
Also I had been dying to make this drawing for months now for @bobadinweek's AU bingo for my Canon Divergence slot.
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Off and On Again
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This fic will cover my "Do I have to take it off again?" square on my 2nd @jacklesversebingo card. The prompt will be in bold.❤️
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Summary: When Y/N wants to hang on to Jensen's shirt he has a very interesting way of getting it back.
Warnings/Explicit 18+: Smut. All smut. Sexy af Jensen. Rockstar!Jensen. Definitely a warning. Slightly rough, unprotected PinV Sex. Oral (f. receiving.) Vaginal fingering. Slight orgasm denial (very light) and edging (sort of).
Pairings: Jensen x Reader
Word Count: 1,619
A/N: Here is the next request for my second @jacklesversebingo card. This one is a slight AU - Rockstar!Jensen. It came from a sort of request from @envyaurora95 who shared this pic with me. So, I stole this prompt to fulfill that sort of request. 😊 I'm sorry that this didn't turn out exactly as we'd talked about. Hope you enjoy it anyway, my dear. ❤️
A/N 2: As always, this is a different version of Jensen from within the Multiverse who is single. Absolute and complete fiction, of course.
The beautiful dividers used here are from @talesmaniac89
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Y/N’s eyes fluttered open and she looked around the room, disoriented for a moment.
It was a hotel room.
Was it morning or…?
Reality came floating back into her brain slowly and she realized the clock on the nightstand read 8:04 PM. It was evening. Then Jensen walked slowly out of the bathroom, a towel slung around his hips, and she remembered everything. They’d met in the bar the night before, and he’d picked her up with barely more than a smile. 
They’d come back to his room and he’d spent all night making her fall apart over and over - he’d been insatiable and Y/N had woken up in the morning with aching muscles and a desperate need for even more of him. She’d convinced him to ditch the interviews he was set to do that afternoon, and they’d barely left the bedroom all day. She’d fallen asleep from sheer exhaustion a few hours earlier.
Jensen noticed her waking now and smiled at her from the foot of the bed. “Good evening, beautiful.”
It was beyond ridiculous to feel shy after everything they’d done together, but she blushed anyway. She had a feeling that there was something in his smile that would always make her blush.
“I was gonna wake you soon.” Jensen continued as he dropped his towel and stepped into a pair of dark blue boxer briefs. Y/N tried not to stare as he tucked himself away in the snug underwear. But fucking hell that man was…very...naturally blessed.
He spoke again as he slid on a pair of black jeans. “I’ve gotta get to sound check. But I hope you’ll come to the show tonight.” He thumbed towards the desk behind him. “I left you a ticket. Backstage pass.” He said with a wink. 
Y/N nodded excitedly. “Yes, I’d love to come.”
His smile was soft. “Good.”
Y/N bit her lip and grabbed Jensen’s long-sleeved, black, denim shirt that sat at the end of the bed, pulling it on as she pointed towards the bathroom. “Gotta use the little girl’s room.” She said as she darted away.
When she came out a few minutes later, Jensen was fully dressed in his jeans and a gray t-shirt; he wore a watch on one hand and a couple of metal and beaded bracelets on the other, and a chain around his neck. His long hair was still slightly damp as he pushed it back off his forehead.
He was the sexiest thing Y/N had ever seen.
His smile was slow and sensual as he lifted a hand towards the shirt Y/N wore. “Gonna need that back now, sweetheart.”
Y/N arched a mischievous brow. “And what if I don’t give it back? Gonna make me?”
Jensen’s gaze became incredibly heated as he stared at her, slowly approaching her and forcing her to step backwards till she hit the wall.
“No, I won’t make you," he said silkily, "but if you don’t give it up, you’ll be sorry.” He said the last bit in a sing-song voice that made her giggle with anticipation while a shiver ran through her. 
“Really?” Y/N questioned cheekily. “And why is that?” 
Instead of answering Jensen pushed the sides of the shirt open, sliding his hands up over her ribcage to cup her breasts in both hands. He gently rolled her nipples between his thumb and forefinger and Y/N gasped. They were extra sensitive after so many hours of Jensen’s mouth sucking and biting at them. 
He dropped his head to her left breast and licked the aching, slightly chafed bud, his warm tongue soothing and exhilarating at the same time. He let go of her right breast so he could slip one finger between her wet folds to circle her clit, making her moan and thump her head back against the wall. 
He sucked more purple marks into the soft skin of her breasts as he slid his thick middle finger into her body, making her cry out.
“Unf! Jensen, oh fuck, fuck!” She shouted as he pressed against her sweet spot.
He lowered himself to his knees and bent his head, dipping his tongue into her slick and finding and teasing her clit, flicking the tip back and forth against her. She bit into her lip, desperately trying not to scream out her need and brushing back the soft hair that fell across his forehead as he pleasured her.
She was on the brink, ready to topple over, all she needed was for Jensen to press against that sweet spot one more time. She was gasping and panting as she begged him to end her exquisite torment.
But suddenly he pulled back from her and licked his wet, swollen lips as he stared up at her, slick glistening on his beard and mustache. 
“Told you you’d be sorry, beautiful. Now give me my shirt back like a good girl, and when the show’s over, I promise I’ll let you finish.”
Y/N whimpered as Jensen stood up and wiped his hand over his mouth. He pushed the shirt from her shoulders and leaned down to speak low, breathing against the shell of her ear. 
“It’s gonna make me hard as hell onstage tonight, to know you’re watching in the wings, all wet and aching for me. Promise you won’t touch yourself? Wait for me.” He insisted and Y/N nodded, even though she pulsed with need.
“Good girl.” He praised as he shrugged into the shirt. He kissed her briefly and smiled against her lips. “See you after the show.”
***
The concert had been torture for Y/N. Watching Jensen onstage was like an hour and half of foreplay. Every note he sang and every move he made, shot fire straight to her core, making her muscles clench and ache from emptiness. She was so desperate to feel him move inside her again that there were moments she honestly thought she might come just from standing in the wings and watching him.
Finally the show ended and Y/N clapped and screamed with the rest of the fans as Jensen left the stage. Backstage was filled with clusters of people, managers, and backstage staff, VIPs and groupies, media personnel covering the tour; they all crowded into the limited space.
Jensen came through, with two big bodyguards on either side of him, pushing aside the groupies and media as Jensen smiled at them all and gave them a wave. But as he passed Y/N he grabbed her hand and yanked her along with him and she dashed a bit to keep up with his long stride. Finally he broke free of everyone and stepped through a nondescript black door. He pulled Y/N through it quickly and she was just barely able to recognize that it was a dressing room before Jensen slammed the door shut and spun her around to press her against it. 
He shoved up the short corduroy skirt she wore as he tugged her hips out towards him. He dug his fingers into her hips as he bent across her body and panted onto her shoulder. 
“I need to fuck you. Now. Say yes.”
“Fuck yes!” Y/N groaned. Jensen just pushed her panties aside so he could slam into her drenched cunt without hesitation.
“Ah fuck!” Jensen growled against her as he bit into the skin exposed by her off-the-shoulder sweater. 
Y/N pressed her forehead against the door and tried not to scream as Jensen slammed himself home again, angling his hips so his cockhead perfectly hit her sweet spot. But when he pulled out and did it again, Y/N couldn’t hold back, as the hours of denial and edging finally erupted in a seemingly endless climax.
As Y/N squeezed around him over and over, Jensen’s rhythm faltered and he thrust deep and hard one last time before shouting out his own pleasure and spilling into her, hot and thick.
Y/N knew they could likely be heard throughout the entire backstage area. But as Jensen slipped his hand around her hip to tap and rub at her clit, bringing on yet another mind-blowing orgasm as he finished, she couldn’t manage to make herself care.
***
The next morning Y/N was simply incapable of moving for a solid hour after she woke up. So, Jensen just ordered them room service and they ate in bed, sharing some more of their lives with each other and laughing and joking together. 
After a couple of hours of lounging and enjoying each other's company, Jensen had some phone calls he had to make and Y/N finally left the bed to go shower. The water felt heavenly and she was refreshed and far less exhausted when she stepped out. 
As she toweled herself off she noticed Jensen’s black, denim shirt hanging on a hook on the back of the door. With a smile, she slipped it on and did up a few buttons before walking back into the room. Jensen was just hanging up his phone and he looked up as she emerged. His eyes darkened and he lifted his phone, waving it slightly.
“That was my manager. I need to go downstairs and make up for all those interviews I skipped yesterday.”
Y/N pouted slightly but nodded, unbuttoning one of the buttons on his shirt. “Do I have to take it off again?”
Jensen stood up and stalked towards her. “Fuck no, I’ll do it.” 
He yanked the shirt open, ripping off a couple buttons. He kissed her deeply, and then pulled her forward to fall on top of him on the bed. “My manager’s gonna be pissed, but hey,” He shrugged and grinned wickedly, “it'll be worth it.”
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1 - Jensen RPF + Any/All characters Jensen plays. @lyarr24 @deans-spinster-witch @impalaslytherin @maggiegirl17 @akshi8278 @candy-coated-misery0731 @deanswaywardgirl @slytherinlyn314 @globetrotter28 @jensensgirl @perpetualabsurdity @tristanrosspada-ackles @djs8891 @muhahaha303 @kayyay1219 @emily-winchester @recoveringpastaaddict @maximumkillshot @mimaria420 @sacriceria @envyaurora95 @lacilou @jc-winchester @spnwoman @mimi-luvzyu @jackles010378 @mayafatimakhan @impala67rollingthroughtown @evznackles @suckitands33
2 - Dean Winchester Fics Only. @carryonwaywardgirl @slamminmine @roonthelittlespoon920
3 - Any/All Fics (regardless of fandom/character.) @kazsrm67 @sexyvixen7 @alexxavicry @nancymcl @spalady26 @slut-for-evans-stan
4 - Everything (includes fan vid/DOOL edits as well) @unabashed-lover-of-fictional-men @maliburenee @supernatural4life2022 @spn730015 @kickingitwithkirk @waywardbaby @foxyjwls007 @deanwanddamons @deandreamernp @deanwithscissors @myloversgone @snowlovespie @leigh70 @all-alone-he-turns-to-stone @charred-angelwings @hopefuldreamers-world @jensensgotyoudean @thoughts-and-funnies @magssteenkamp @princessmisery666 @eevvvaa @mishkatelwarriorgoddess @waynes-multiverse @mrsjenniferwinchester @bernasaurus @jensenslady79 @courtn92 @avanatural @ellie-andthemachine @this-is-me19 @roseblue373 @katbratsupernaturalwhore @fanfic-n-tabulous @k-slla @stoneyggirl2
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pedriswife · 1 year
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𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬 ☆ 𝐏𝐞𝐝𝐫𝐢 𝐆𝐨𝐧𝐳𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐳
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《In which Pedri and the reader have been in a relationship for a while but its not as perfect as it seems.》
TW⚠️: mentions of cheating, swearing, mentions of heavy drinking and reckless behaviour
~ part 2 to "The Other Woman". Part 3 will be posted soon, I hope you enjoy this as much as you have enjoyed part 1, thank you for the likes guys 🫶🏼
As you entered the kitchen, Pedri had his back to you, still preparing your meal. He was gently humming but he felt your presence behind him and immediately turned around to face you. His facial expression dropped upon seeing your tear stained face and your phone in your hand.
"Mi vida? What is the matter? Is something wrong?" Pedri was instantly by your side, your face in his hands, looking straight into your eyes. You ripped away from his touch, feeling more betrayed. How could he act as if nothing has happened?
You turned your phone to him and saw his puzzled face upon recognising himself in the compromising picture.
"What is this Pedro? Care to explain to me why I'm seeing you in a car with another woman?"
He was quick to respond "Its not what it looks like, I promise, she's just a friend, I'm not cheating on you". He wanted to say more but you stopped him before another word left his mouth.
"Pedro, I don't want to hear it. You always do this; the stolen glances, checking other women out, getting touchy with them, and now you're kissing yet another different girl out of the hundred others before her. This may not be cheating to you but it is to me. You just can't seem to commit yourself to me. All this time I get people saying they are jealous of our relationship, of how perfect it is but the reality is that it is ANYTHING but perfect. AND THAT IS BECAUSE OF YOU! You keep FUCKING me up, making me look like a desperate whore in the media pulling all these stunts! GET A FUCKING GRIP! I'M DONE WITH THIS SHIT! WE. ARE. OVER!" - you screamed out, your rage finally getting the better of you.
Pedri said nothing but look at you with tears in his eyes. He knew you were right; this time he took it too far.
"Mi vida, please, let me make it up to you, it all meant nothing to me, you're the only one for me. I love you and only you please" - he begged, trying to reach out to you again only to be pushed away.
Seeing him like this made your heart break but the fact was that he broke your heart too and you just couldn't take it anymore. You finally decided; you had to put yourself first and this meant letting Pedri go.
"I'm sorry Pedro but this relationship can't continue like this. It's time to break up; I'll pack my stuff up and leave, this is the best for the both of us" - you finally said and made your way upstairs to get your bag and keys, Pedri still kneeling on the kitchen floor, the breakfast he made, long forgotten.
Once you grabbed your stuff and made your way to the floor Pedri was still looking at you with pleading eyes, the only word leaving his lips "please".
You gave him one last look and said "goodbye Pedro".
* few days later*
Safe to say, your break up with Pedri hit you quite hard; after all you had many memories together and it was difficult to leave all of those behind. However, you had amazing friends who helped you slowly get over this; they took you to parties, days out, anything to take your mind of Pedri. It did make you feel a bit heartless, the fact that you got over the heartbreak a bit quickly.
Pedri however, was not doing as good as you; he was a total wreck. During practice he just wasn't his usual lively self. No matter how Gavi and Ferran tried to cheer him up, it just wasn't working. This was then noticed by the manager Xavi, who noticed a serious change within one of his best players.
Later Gavi noticed that even though they have the "no drinking" rule whilst playing back to back matches, Pedri was constantly going out and getting massively drunk to the point where he was passed out and the bar, bartenders having to call his friends to pick him up. It was clear that he suffered from this break; he needed you to bring his life back to normal.
After closely monitoring more of Pedri's behaviour, on the fifth day after the incident, Ferran and Gavi have had enough; they decided to do what they thought was best: call you and beg you to take him back.
*present day*
Gavi was staring at your number on his phone, gathering his thoughts on how to approach the matter; he knew he had to do this. Even though he fully condemned Pedri's behaviour, he realised that Pedri only had his love for you and no one else. Now he just wanted to help his best friend in winning you back. Ferran was also present, helping a hungover Pedri who was slung across Gavi's couch to some light food and water.
"Come on, please pick up, this is important" Gavi said as he waited for your answer. After the third ring you finally picked up the call.
"Pablo? What's wrong, why are you calling me?" It wasn't rare for Gavi to call you but you didn't expect this as you haven't talked since you and Pedri called it quits.
"Look y/n, before you say anything, I know what Pedri did was wrong but I'm calling you to ask you as his and your friend to please come over to my house and forgive him. Ever since you left him, he's been a mess; not taking care of himself, he's lost his passion for football and has been making some very reckless decisions due to heavy drinking. Please just this once, please".
Before you had time to overthink your decision, you just simply replied with "I'll be there in 10 mins" and hung up the phone.
Truth was, you still loved Pedri very much, after all you have been dating for a long time. You knew it would take time and lots of persuasion to forgive him, but you were willing to give it another go.
A/N: spoiler alert! I decided to feed you guys with some smut in Part 3. Before that however, I hope you enjoy the second part.
Hugs and kisses, pedriswife 🫶🏼
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sydnikov · 2 years
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Sunkissed (pt. 2)
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Link to Part 1, Link to Part 3
Pairing: Andrei Svechnikov/female!Reader
Word Count: 6.2k
Summary: It turns out that avoiding your feelings was hopeless when it came to Andrei. Full of guilt and sadness from the loss of one of your greatest friends, you flee from the confines of Raleigh to the coast of North Carolina, hoping to outrun your emotions instead of confronting them. It only works for so long, for suddenly the one you had tried avoiding the most is quite literally thrust back into your life when you least expect it.
Warnings: Cursing, angst, a bit of fluff, another cliffhanger
A/N: So remember when I said this would be the last part to this series? I lied. I know I even had a vote and all, but being on a break has really brought things into perspective and despite what everyone else wants, I know what I want and that’s to post a part 2 that isn’t an end to the series yet. I still love y’all though, so I hope you guys enjoy! 😌 Reblogs and commentary is very much appreciated <3
DISCLAIMER: This is a work of fiction. This is not meant to be hate towards Andrei and Julia who are a very happy couple together, which therefore means I'm happy for them as well. This is merely a work of entertainment that in no way, shape, or form represents real life.
Translations:
¹Не могу жить без тебя - I can’t live without you
²rapea - frisky
³rakkaus - love
⁴я сильно скучал по тебе - I missed you so much
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The road to recovery was brutal. It wasn’t some colorful arc of growth that you see in those cheesy movies about break-ups, because the real world didn’t let you come to terms with the way everything had fallen apart in a mere day, and it especially didn’t make the job of trying to pick up the pieces of your broken heart any easier.
Anyone who's ever said otherwise is lying.
Your hangover that morning after was a bitch. And it became even more of a bitch when it all came rushing back to you why you let yourself get so drunk in the first place.
"What if I don't want to be just your best friend?"
"You're joking…"
"You think I'd lie…"
"You've lied about drinking, so…"
"Get out. Now."
"Please let me try and fix this…"
It was a good thing it was the weekend. Two days of blissful silence from the outside world until you had to face the reality that you had just caused the very being of your world to crash and burn.
With your heart freshly wounded and nowhere near close to pulling itself back together, you didn't know how you were going to handle walking through the hallways of PNC decorated with Andrei's smiling face and knowing that you alone were the reason you’d lost him.
You didn't really know what to feel after all of that, if you were being honest. You supposed you should have felt livid, upset, hell, even guilty about the words your drunken self spit at him.
Though he still definitely returned the favor. Sober, too.
All you felt was numb, though. You knew it was just your brain's way of compensating for the overwhelming emotion and trying to give yourself time to recover, but you knew hiding from your feelings was going to just come and bite you, and whoever tries to let themselves in, in the ass.
After all, it was never a good idea to walk in broken glass.
The annoyingly cheerful ringtone of your phone soon snapped you out of your thoughts, and when you confusedly checked the ID and found it to be Sebastian you eventually decided to answer, if not with a bit of caution.
Who the hell knows who Andrei told about your fight. You wouldn't be surprised if the entire PNC staff, including the team, knew about it.
Sebastian all but shouted your name in relief once he heard you pick up, and you couldn't help but sigh in relief at the familiarity you so desperately needed.
"Sepe?" You laughed, confusion momentarily forgotten as his relieved laugh made a small smile pop up on your face. "What's going on?"
"Svech told us what happened-"
Oh.
"-and before you freak out, by us I mean me, Martin, Turbo, and also Marty by accident because he can't not eavesdrop to save his life."
"That… Really isn't any better," You winced with a breathless laugh, exhaustedly running a hand down your face.
"I'd say it's better than the whole team knowing. Or Julia herself?"
Now that caught you off-guard.
"Julia doesn't know?" You immediately straightened up, baffled at the news. If anything, you thought his fiancé would have been the first person he told, not his teammates.
"He said he, and I quote, 'didn't want to worry her', which is complete shit in my opinion, but…"
You tried not to think into why your fight would worry her to the point that Andrei just decided not to tell her at all.
"Well, this is awkward…" You mumbled, slowly crawling out of your bed to make your way to the kitchen.
To be fair, any situation where your friend knows you shouted 'I love you' to their other friend would be awkward.
Especially if said-friend is engaged.
"Just a little bit," Sebastian admitted over the phone. "But... Are you okay?"
No. No, you weren’t, but you weren’t about to let Sebastian in on that.
“I… Yeah, I’m okay. Or, I will be, at least.”
“Mhm,” Sebastian wasn’t buying your excuse, that much you could tell, but luckily he decided to leave it be. “Whatever you say…” He sounded like he was about to say something else, but a muffled voice on the other side of the line seemed to snatch his attention away.
“Look, I have to go now, but… I’m here, in case you need me.”
You smiled.
“Thanks, Sepe.”
Sebastian hung up after that, and you were left to your own devices for the rest of the day, thankfully. Though you didn’t do much except wallar in self-pity, muting the notifications of your texts and social media.
Not that it did much good, considering Andrei’s contact name still managed to flash on your screen several times throughout the day. It was only several hours later that he seemed to get the hint that you weren’t going to answer, and at long last you were finally able to scroll through your emails without having to quickly decline an incoming call.
Sunday went much the same, too, except a lot more silent. You exchanged a few texts with Sebastian, a few with your mom and gave her a basic rundown of what went down with Andrei along with the promise to meet up sometime for lunch as soon as you could come down to her house.
Which, fortunately, was soon.
Because, unfortunately, you living in Raleigh was just no longer an option. You couldn’t do it. You had money saved up just in case a situation like this one arrived, ready to move at a moment's notice. Only you never expected it to be under these types of circumstances.
And god did you try to make it work, you tried to avoid what you thought were the eyes of your coworkers burning holes into the side of your face at your sudden withdrawal and quietness. Despite Andrei having revealed it to absolutely no one about your little spat, the paranoia was getting so bad that you had started to avoid even going out after games with the guys you once considered yourself to be oh-so-close to.
Stuck in your own world of distrust and worry, you never noticed Andrei’s lingering eyes on the rare occasion he’d see you outside of your office, or how his face would fall when Sebastian would look up from his phone with a solemn shake of his head when informing them on a night out that you would not be joining them.
How he was slowly starting to regret his outburst, when instead of looking into Julia’s sparkling blue eyes and feeling love, he’d see the unique color of your own instead and how there had never been a day since he joined the team where you weren't there for him.
He might have been hurting - he lost his best friend too - but he had Julia and his teammates to fall back on. In a sense, you had no one. Or at least that was what you kept telling yourself.
And you couldn’t take it anymore. The constant avoidance and vigilance, the late hours spent at work and the little amount of sleep you were getting… You couldn’t do it, so when you turned in your resignation to your boss with shaky hands it felt like more of a relief than it should have been when she smiled warmly at you and wished you luck, no questions asked.
It was as you packed up the few belongings you had in your office did you suddenly realize that leaving Raleigh maybe wouldn’t be such a bad thing after all. You felt like you had some clarity for the first time in months since the argument, because now that you were free from the trap you'd come to refer to as your job, you remembered that you had your mom, you had Sebastian… You’d been living under the pretense that Andrei was everything good about Raleigh for so long that you failed to recognize everything else that had been right in front of you.
Though instead of feeling sorry for yourself, you tried to recognize that this was a good thing. Because you didn’t need Andrei. You didn’t need the whispers from the interns talking about how happy Julia was with Andrei, you didn’t need the pitying looks from Martin or Sebastian, and you didn’t even need Andrei himself.
Not while you were still in love with him. And especially not while he was engaged.
If only your racing heart understood that as a deep Russian voice calling your name from far down the hallway stole your attention. You almost wanted to pretend that you hadn’t heard him because the elevator was right there, but the left winger knew you better than that and made sure to catch up to you in time.
A broken whisper of your name left his lips once he finally reached you, spotting the lone cardboard box of belongings from your office and the lack of papers he was so used to seeing you carrying to and fro the arena.
“Yes?” You broke the tense silence first, suddenly fascinated with the decorated wall behind him. Did they get a new paint job recently?
“What… What are you doing?” He looked so lost, so helpless, and you would have let yourself fall into his arms if you weren’t so guarded, just so heartbroken from that fateful Friday night that left your friendship in tatters.
You swallowed dryly, torn on what to say or do. Because how do you tell someone that they’re the reason you’re leaving your home? “Leaving. To my car. I’m not working here anymore.”
Andrei blinked once, twice, a good few times before he brought a hand up to run down his face. “You’re leaving?” he whispered so quietly it had your heart screaming out through the walls you had it forced behind. “I’m sorry,” he added quickly, trying to plead with his eyes for you to just look up and acknowledge him. “I didn’t mean-”
He didn’t realize how much he’d miss you until you were gone.
“Andrei, please,” You whispered, lips wobbling with the strength it took to keep your sobs at bay. This was the exact reason why you wanted to avoid seeing your former best friend before you left.
And suddenly he was panicking all over again, like the night he blew up on you, only now he realized you were really going to be gone, and it was going to be all his fault.
He ruined you. And there was no going back.
“¹Не могу жить без тебя,” Was all the hockey player managed to choke out, only his words did nothing but spur you in your movement to get the hell out of there, and he was helpless to do anything but watch you wipe the tears running down your cheeks as you backed away from him. “Is there anything I can do? To make it better?”
To make you stay? Was the unspoken question he wanted to ask, but you weren’t there to listen to his bribes. He didn’t feel the same. Which was okay. You understood. You just didn’t get why he wasn’t letting you go, why he had to make your leave as painful as possible.
“You can step out of the way so I can get to my car,” You eventually whispered out, eyes watery and bloodshot but never daring to meet his own. Without giving him a chance to respond, you took in your former place of work once more, took in your former best friend’s teary eyes as you swept past him for the last time.
And as you made your way down the cemented steps, the sun shining down upon you and filling you with its warmth, you felt a new sense of peace.
You weren’t okay. You weren’t happy. But driving away from the PNC Arena, away from Raleigh, away from Andrei, you figured that maybe one day you would be.
And when you finally moved out to the Outer Banks you just couldn’t help but compare your new home to your former one. But if you had to tell yourself that there were still similarities between the two places you lived in, you figured you could allow it just to make adjusting a little bit easier.
And you still weren't okay. You knew that it would be a while before you would forget your hockey family, Andrei, your old friends, PNC Arena, Andrei and the dark richness of his chocolate brown eyes that set your body ablaze.
But, over time, it became easier.
The first few weeks, Andrei was all you could think about. With vague texts to Sebastian asking how the team was doing - he understood you probably better than Andrei ever had - he thankfully indulged you with no questions asked, informing you how they were adjusting to the change slowly but surely, but it was hard. And it was hard for Andrei, too, who seemed to have lost his lively spark that had attracted you to him in the first place.
You told yourself you didn't care. But you did. At least for a while. But then those thoughts first thing in the morning wondering how Andrei was doing started coming less and less, perhaps instead popping into your mind while you were at your new job instead.
Andrei called you his little sun, and it was only months later did you realize you had taken that title a bit too literally.
During all this time you had forgotten how the sun had never actually revolved around the earth, but rather the earth revolved around the sun instead. And finally, finally, you were learning how to become your own sun, nobody else's.
The months passed by quickly, March to April and then April to August, and then next thing you knew you had been living peacefully at the beach for almost a year. You kept in contact with the boys - most of them - and occasionally called them, and lucky for you they mentioned nothing of Andrei's state there without you.
As if your leave would have affected him at all. He made it clear he didn't care.
Though strangely enough, you heard nothing of Andrei and Julia finally tying the knot. You would have asked, but opening that can of worms was something you didn't particularly want to go through again.
Which was why you were so nervous when you finally agreed to let Sebastian and a few of the others finally come down to the Outer Banks for the last week of their off-season to visit.
At least you'd be able to safely avoid Andrei when finally meeting up with the guys, because according to Sebastian, Andrei and Julia were still together. Which meant he'd be going on trips with her instead.
Until you got the call.
"I'm sorry, what?"
A stressed sigh came from the other end of the line, and you held your breath waiting for Sebastian to confirm what you already knew to be true.
"They called it off, just now. Or a bit ago. I don't know." A brief pause of tense silence, and then he spoke again. "It's all over the news, anyways, haven't you seen it yet?"
You cast a quick glance towards the broken wifi box in the corner of the room, thanks to your boss's failure to ever pay the bills on time, your phone was relying on its data to keep the call running. "Clearly not," you muttered, running an anxious hand through your hair. "Look, Sepe, you know I love you-"
"Ooh, ²rapea-"
"But why are you telling me this?"
"Because I figured you'd probably want to know."
"No, no, that isn't it." You let out a nervous breath. "I don't… I'm not in contact with him. Whatever he does with Julia is none of my business. I don't care."
"You know that isn't true-" He immediately rebutted, and you could just imagine the indignant look on his face even on the other side of the phone.
"He doesn't love me back, Sebastian!"
Silence. You pressed a hand to your chest, willing the anger inside of you to just wither away, knowing it wasn't right to direct all of your pent-up emotions onto your friend.
Sepe said your name quietly, and you responded with such. "He's coming with us, ³rakkaus. You're going to see him."
...and you caved. You really shouldn't have, should have just told Sebastian that you had already made the rooms for everyone else and had no space left, but you both knew that was a lie.
You always had a place for Andrei. Even if you were absolutely furious at him.
But you'd be lying to yourself if you said you didn't miss him. Your hands may have shaken as your mom helped you get your new place ready for the guys, graciously providing you with such advice only a mother would have, but you'd still missed it. Not necessarily the misery, but… You missed Raleigh and the memories that came with it.
You missed going out to bars with the guys after a win, you missed working late nights at PNC with your coworkers, and you missed game nights at Warren's where you'd be one of the first to lose until somebody took pity on you and essentially took over your game, but you never minded.
And you missed Andrei. God, you missed him so much. You missed his smile, his dark brown eyes that seemed to sparkle every time the light hit them just right, and you missed his hugs even if most of the hugging was going to Julia instead.
You felt bad at the way your heart skipped a beat when Sebastian delivered the news, but then again, you really didn’t.
The rest of the day passed slowly, the night following in similar fashion, leaving you staring up at your ceiling into the early hours of the morning, knowing that as you finally fell asleep you’d be waking up to a world you’d been desperately trying to avoid for almost a year.
That morning you rose along with the sun, trudging into the kitchen to make your coffee in front of the large window that overlooked the beachfront. One of your good friends at work was taking leave for vacation and offered you a stay in their parents’ beach house up in Corolla, knowing of your dilemna in which you had been trying to figure out how the fuck you were supposed to store four grown men into your tiny apartment.
Having settled in just a few nights before, you couldn't help but send a quick text to said-friend with a picture of the view and, for the hundredth time, thank them profusely for letting you stay. It was absolutely huge, and when you jokingly had asked if their parents were in the mafia for the unnecessary amount of money it would have taken to afford such a place, your friend had just smirked as if they knew something you didn’t.
“You really don’t want to know.”
“You’re probably right.”
When the coffee machine sputtered and choked out the last of the addicting liquid that you had grudgingly taken a liking to, you remembered to keep it running with a bag of coffee beans next to it for the tired group of men that were bound to be arriving later that day.
Well, mainly for the two Finns who would still drink coffee after sleeping for twelve hours if they wanted to. Martin also couldn't live without it, but Andrei had never been much of a coffee person last you saw him.
And, fuck, there was that familiar pang in your heart again.
You roughly swallowed the bitter liquid in your mug, turning away with a wince from the window when all it did was reflect the nervousness and anxiousness present all over your face.
You mindlessly went through the motions of getting ready for the day, your teeth finding a permanent place on your bottom lip to chew away in anxiety as you let your thoughts run freely.
When would they be arriving? You checked the clock. You still had a few hours of peace.
Was everything ready? You walked through all of the guest rooms again, and, unsurprisingly, found everything perfectly in place. Similarly, you found the kitchen to be well-stocked, leaving you without an excuse to head to the market.
It was useless questions like these that kept your mind company as the day passed agonizingly slow, the sun eventually sinking below the horizon until the dreaded time came where the sound of loud voices accompanied by several different knocks broke the fragile silence of the house.
"Fuck, okay," you whispered to yourself, standing frozen in place for merely a moment before rushing to the front door. You got this.
You opened the door, revealing Sebastian and Martin first with Teuvo just beginning to make his way up the porch. You tried to hide the way you immediately began to seek out Andrei first.
At the sight of your face, Sebastian was the first one to release an excited shout of your name before he practically swallowed you in his arms, the grin on his face so infectious that you couldn't help but return it. Martin was the next one to smush you into his chest with a suffocating hug, and Teuvo, as reserved as he was, merely gave you a warm smile before he immediately ran for the coffee with a hasty greeting thrown your way.
You wondered if you should have told him it was cold.
"I missed you guys so much," you breathed out with a laugh that you didn't expect to come out as easy as it did, picking up a bag that one of them had dropped on the porch to carry inside.
"Who wouldn't miss us?" Teuvo soon called out, a lazy grin on his face as he came out of the house with a fresh mug of coffee in his hands.
You rolled your eyes, having missed the playful banter between them all.
Sebastian threw an arm around your shoulders, sending a mischievous smile his best friend's way. "Don't mind him, he's got a girlfriend now and suddenly he's the most confident guy in the world."
"Were you not the same way when you met Rosa?" Teuvo retorted immediately, raising his eyebrows as he took a slow sip of his coffee.
"No, I was much better."
"The shirtless selfies you sent me that day say different."
Chaos ensued, and Sebastian and Teuvo chased after each other into the house as they shouted in incoherent Finnish that had you giggling with Martin until their voices faded into the background.
As you and your favorite Czech caught up, you could only pretend to be admiring the scenery bathed in moonlight for so long before attempting to speak the question that had been on the tip of your tongue the moment they had all arrived.
Martin, conveniently, just finished gathering all of his stuff before he patted your shoulder with a mischievous smile before slowly backing away to the door.
"He's in the car, getting the rest of his stuff."
And sure enough, you could see the faint silhouette of his shadow behind the trunk, looking to be prolonging stepping away from the car for as long as possible. Though you understood the feeling, you couldn't help the sharp pang in your chest at the thought that he was dreading to see you again.
Taking a deep breath and gathering whatever semblance of courage you had left, you cast a wary glance back towards Martin and watched as he gave you a small smile before disappearing into the house.
You swallowed nervously. Walking down from the porch ever so slowly, you approached their car warily until Andrei finally looked up at the sound of your footsteps.
You hadn't been sure what you were expecting, but the brightness of his face sculpted out by moonlight and the healthy glow of his eyes definitely wasn't it. You stood there, frozen, completely and utterly enraptured by how good he looked. There was something older about him as you took him in the same way he was doing to you, a certain caution and hesitance making up the slight lines around his face.
You weren't sure if you expected him to smile, but then again, he was probably expecting you to yell at him or curse out his very existence. You didn't really blame him, because for the longest time you probably would have done just that, but now?
Well… You just missed your best friend. You were finally tired of hurting, of trying to hold a grudge against a guy who just happened to be in love with someone else. It happens all the time, right? Your feelings be damned.
It didn't matter what you thought anymore.
Andrei took a deep breath the moment he saw you approaching from the corner of his eye, a nervousness bubbling up in his gut at the fact that he was about to have a conversation with you for the first time in almost a year; for a moment, he wondered if he should have even bothered stalling to collect his luggage since it looked like you were determined to greet him anyway. He wouldn't exactly lie and say that he wasn't excited to see you, but he couldn't help but feel guilty about that fact since he had quite literally just broken up with Julia, his ex-fiancé, only days before.
Though that didn’t stop him from practically devouring your body with his eyes, taking in the healthy glow to your skin and the natural blush on your cheeks that could have only come from days spent in the sun. You looked happy, and Andrei wasn't sure if it was such a good idea for him to have come here after all.
It looked like you had moved on though, that's what matters. Right?
"Hey Andrei," You greeted quietly, squinting your eyes against the darkness that shielded you from prying eyes to get a better look at him, regarding him cautiously.
It took a moment for him to process the words that left your mouth, and Andrei didn't even think twice before he let himself succumb to the emotion of having missed you for so long, and it would have taken the power of a thousand suns to stop him from hugging you almost suffocatingly close, never letting you go again, ever, bringing you close to his chest and sinking his head into the crook of your neck with a shaky sigh.
You didn't even fight it. You didn't want to. Your breath was labored and weak as the man you loved brought you in without hesitation and you reveled in his desperate embrace, you threw your arms around his neck and burrowed your head into the comforting warmth of his chest, ignoring the voices screaming inside your head that this was wrong.
And yet it felt so right. Like a piece of your soul had finally been found, latching onto that void in your heart that had felt overwhelmingly empty since you’d left.
But it was okay because Andrei was back and he was right here and you were drowning in his arms, the small amount of tears trickling down your cheeks irrelevant as he murmured unintelligible Russian into your neck, because he was here again and he wasn't letting you go again anytime soon.
"⁴я сильно скучал по тебе," He muttered into your neck, voice quiet and vulnerable and full of emotion and one that had you pulling back almost immediately.
Fuck. Your heart couldn't take this.
You attempted a smile, a weak one but nonetheless it seemed to placate your emotional Russian. It was as if the moment he spoke the spell of reunion was broken, leaving you wondering how the fuck you were supposed to fall back into the rhythm of being friends again.
Especially since he knew how you felt.
And most of all, you were still hurt. No amount of time spent distracting yourself at the beach would ever make you forget the heartbreak that Andrei had put you through, intentionally or unintentionally.
Seeing him again sparked those same feelings you fought so hard to smother, foolishly thinking that if you never saw him again then they would just… Go away.
Seeing him standing right in front of you with a sheen over his eyes as he held you close catapulted you back into the earlier times of your friendship, when physical affection was your very own language and innocent flirting - at least on your part - made up almost the entirety of your conversations.
You were so, so fucked.
"I missed you too," You responded in soft Russian, and the brilliant smile that spread across his face at your remembrance of the language almost made you forget the pain he put you through, because this was Andrei and no matter how much he might have changed over your time away, he was still just your same old best friend.
Who you also happened to be in love with, but details, details…
The feelings of nostalgia soon became too much as the two of you stayed with your arms wrapped around the other, taking the other in until you finally managed to pull yourself away.
You smiled weakly, now avoiding his eyes. "They're probably waiting for us inside." You pretended not to notice the way his expression fell at your words.
Walking up the stairs and opening the door to the large beach house, you went ahead of Andrei and led him into the spacious living room and was greeted with the sight of Teuvo fiddling with the TV remote, Sebastian bundled up in so many blankets that he almost resembled a living burrito with a mug of coffee, and Martin unpacking the food they brought in the kitchen.
Ignoring the curious looks all three boys were sending you, you merely rolled your eyes before walking through the open doorway that led into the kitchen and began helping Martin sort through all of the food they - unnecessarily - brought.
"You guys know you didn't have to bring so much, right?" You huffed, trying to break through the tension that had come at the entrance of you and Andrei.
Sebastian, who had a knack at always picking up on the mood, laughed all the way from the living room. "We know you better than that. I can't even cook and my apartment has more food than you."
And as simple and unimportant the statement was, the fact that they had even remembered such small things about you was enough to bring tears to your eyes. Again.
You had missed them so, so much.
"Pizza boxes and soda cans don't count as real food, Fishy." Andrei chimed in with a grin, and Martin merely shook his head in amusement before putting away the last of the bags.
Ignoring the bickering between the two forwards, you merely hummed contently and couldn't resist sending a fond, sneaky glance towards Andrei at the way he still immediately jumped to your defense, no matter how miniscule of a defense it was.
Was he just trying to keep the tension bearable until he could leave? Or has he genuinely missed you and regretted what he said all that time ago?
"You're staring." A low voice whispered into your ear, causing you to immediately whip around with a startled squeak. And, not to your surprise, it was Turbo who had snuck into the kitchen next to you and Martin unseen.
You crossed your arms, tilting your head up with an indignant huff. "I have no idea what you're talking about."
Martin and Teuvo exchanged an amused glance before, fortunately, changing the topic. You had missed simple conversations with the hockey players, talking about your day or what silly thing the other had done at practice. It was refreshing, and once a lull in conversation came, the three of you eventually turned to face the large window in the kitchen that overlooked the beach front, now pitch black with only the stars reflecting across the water.
"It really is a beautiful place," Martin hummed from beside you, and you were much inclined to agree. "How'd you manage to book it for so long?"
"One of my friend's parents owns it, and they convinced them to let us stay while they're all in Italy."
Teuvo raised his eyebrows. "Italy? Are their parents in the mafia?"
You bit down your grin. "I don't know, they wouldn't give me a straight answer."
You openly laughed at the look on both their faces, ignoring their questions as you finally began to drag them both away from the window to get settled in. While you were positive you could have stayed up until the early hours of the morning catching up, you wanted to give them all a chance to get settled into their rooms considering they were staying there for the entirety of the week.
And you also wanted some alone time so you could freak out over the first physical contact you’ve had with Andrei in ages, but that was irrelevant.
As you entered the large living room once more, the three of you arrived just in time to see Andrei and Sebastian rolling off of the couch simultaneously.
"Are we doing something tomorrow?" Andrei asked as you walked up next to them.
"My company not enough for you?" You teased, completely forgetting the fact that such jokes weren't exactly… Appropriate anymore since, well, your company hadn't been enough for him to accept the feelings you had for him, all that time ago.
The way his expression fell into one of guilt reminded you of that, and you quickly tried to remedy that sad look on his face you couldn't stand to see.
"I heard there were wild horses here?" Teuvo, bless him, thankfully spoke up, and you breathed out a small sigh of relief as the entire conversation shifted onto other things. "Those would be cool to see."
Martin immediately shot up at the mention of his favorite animal. "Horses?"
"Mhm," You nodded, laughing at the excited look in Martin's eye. "I'd have to sign us up though so we might not get to go immediately yet."
"That's cool," Teuvo shrugged, leaning up against the staircase. "Anything on the agenda for tomorrow?"
You shrugged bashfully. "The beach?"
Once the five of you seemingly determined your plans for tomorrow, the boys were finally able to seek out the quiet of their rooms and begin to get ready for bed. The many hours of traveling together must have really done a number on them, especially if Sebastian and Teuvo weren’t even bothering to play their video games together before sleeping like they normally would.
As you showed the rest of them where their rooms were, it didn't take a genius to notice the way Andrei was lagging behind, sneaking careful glances at you from the corner of his eye and trying to speak, but the words just wouldn't fall from his mouth no matter how hard he tried.
You didn't give him a chance to let them. You fled, whispering a 'goodnight' to all of your friends and retreated to the safe confines of your room.
Andrei sighed, accepting the defeat. At least now that you were here, he'd have plenty of time to figure out how the fuck he was supposed to tell you he, well... He didn't know what he felt, but it definitely wasn't what friends should be feeling towards each other.
He couldn't help but wonder if that love you claimed to have for him so many months ago was still just as strong now as it was then, though when he thought back to the way you avoided his eyes and fled to your own bedroom he had a strong inclination to believe that love had long since diminished.
He bit back a frustrated groan at the thought. Why were you acting so strange now when before you had hugged him like you were never letting him go again?
A hand clapped him on the shoulder, and Andrei turned around with a huff to face his other friend. "She looks happier," Martin spoke quietly, referring to how easily you'd welcomed them all back into your life.
Well, minus him.
"She'll warm up to you. Give her time, it's been awhile." He responded quietly, easily seeing through his friend's insecurities.
"What if time was not enough?"
Martin tilted his head, hiding his sly smile and thinking back to when Teuvo caught you staring at him back in the kitchen. "It is. Or it will be."
Andrei narrowed his eyes skeptically. "But-"
"Go to bed, Drei." The left winger laughed, grinning at the confusion in his friend's eyes as he reluctantly nodded his head. God, Sepe was right, the two of you were idiots when it came to each other.
Hopefully soon, one of you would man up and finally decide to address what the fuck had happened that night so long ago and any feelings that might have remained.
Andrei let out a curse from his room, and Martin sighed at his friend’s stupidity.
Hopefully soon indeed.
~
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rainpudding · 3 years
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note; m will be in my next post, someone else already requested it >3
tw; depression,suicide and ed mentioned,alcohol dying and etc..
KAEYA | ANGST ALPHABET
catcall die kidnapped time
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Kidnapped (you’re kidnapped)
Most people would say Kaeya would develop a strong alcohol addiction to forget that his lover went missing however I have to strongly disagree.
When Kaeya gets home and he can't find you anywhere he won't think much of it. Maybe you went to visit your family and forgot to tell him, or you're having a sleepover with a friend. On the outside, he seems calm as for the next three days he goes to work acting as nothing happened. But on the inside he is panicking, he gets his work done as soon as possible as he gets home just to sit down on a chair staring at the door. He Is waiting for the door to open and you to appear. He is sitting there for hours and hours.
After a week of you not appearing he blames himself for not reaching for help sooner as it may be too late to found you. He calls knight of favounius and citizens of mondstat goes in groups looking for you. Traveler makes missing posters trying to help at least a little bit.
Kaeya wants to forget you but he slowly loses interest in alcohol, it feels like it lost Its taste.
His public calm image is slowly breaking as his mind is filled with dark imaginations. He slowly forgets to eat meals or to keep himself hydrated.
Apart from Childe who gets obsessive filled with hope, Kaeya gets depressive knowing that there is no possibility you can be okay.
Jean first notices Kaeya's depression when she sees him standing in the middle of the hall. His eyepatch is missing his messy hair covering his eye. He wears only his white shirt as he is visibly confused.
The dehydration and sleep deprivation have a bad impact on him. Jean knows something is wrong and sends him home in order to take a break. Which does not help since Kaeya should have human interaction and get meds not be home.
Diluc gets worried as he makes meals for him carrying them to his house. The house is a mess as Kaeya is unable to clean which results in Dikuc quickly putting Kaeya's mess into the bin trying to clean up at least a little bit.
Kaeya, on the other hand, doesn't want to go to sleep but once he is asleep he doesn't want to wake up. He can't get out of his bed. Becoming more disoriented and slowly forgetting why he is sad in the first place.
He doesn't remember your face anymore, nor your name. He doesn't remember you at all.
And one morning when Diluc opens door to Kaeya's room holding breakfast to his surprise he finds Kaeya in his bed. Melatonin pills everywhere as he slowly realizes Kaeya overdosed himself.
But let's imagine you were found and you came home just before Kaeya got depressed.
You open the door with a crack quickly closing it as you finally feel safe. You were missing for almost three months yet since day one you were dreaming of the moment when you will be able to hug Kaeya again.
You look around finding your shared house slightly messy. The bin is filled with old food. The boxes on tables are also filled with untouched food. You wander around softly smiling at the pictures and decorations.
You pinch yourself just to be sure this is not one of the fantasies you always dreamed about. Opening one of the doors you walk in just to see Kaeya peacefully sleeping in pillows and blankets. His hair messy and his eyepatch still on.
You don't want to wake him up yet you're too excited to wait. You run to him as you hug him tightly. Sweet tears rolling down your cheeks as you sniffle Kaeya's scent.
Kaeya tries to push you away murmuring from his sleep before sleepily opening his eyes. They are dark as the ocean as the sparkles died down. His smirk wasn't decorating his face anymore. Instead, he sighed rubbing his eyes.
You would stroke his cheeks as you hold his chin softly. You're saying reassuring words while smiling with glossy eyes. He finally realizes that you're real. Grabbing your hands to squeeze them and peppering your face with many kisses.
And after a whole hour of hugging each other and you telling him about your kidnapper he decides to go to knights of favounius so they can throw your kidnapper into jail.
However, as he stands up you suddenly stop him as you look at his body. You can see how skinny he got, how his bones are seen, and how his skin is pale. Not to mention the blue hair on the pillow signalizing hair loss.
And you realize that he barely ate. That's why there were boxes with untouched food.
"Later, I'm hungry can we go for lunch first?" You smile brushing your thumb against Kaeya's hand as he nods.
- it would take some time for Kaeya to start taking care of himself again. But when you're with him he is willing to try.
- He will take a break to spend time with you as you cook together and clean the house later even going for a walk.
- eventually, give him few months and he will be healthy again.
Catcall (you’re catcalled and he’s with you)
Same as Diluc, Kaeya is well known and has a reputation. There is no way someone would catcall you on purpose. Yet let's imagine some drunk group catcalling you in front of your boyfriend.
This would go based on how bold they are.
1; if they will call you baby or any pet name maybe hinting something romantic. Kaeya will just chuckle as he is listening to them. He wouldn't get angry as he thinks it's funny how they try to flirt with you. "You should watch what you say, honorary citizens," he smiles as he is supporting his chin.
2; they would get more inappropriate or even try to touch you. This would make Kaeya slightly alerted. When they say something inappropriate he just slowly moves you next to you or into his lap. Or he has a hand around your waist. They will notice him and leave you alone. Yet if they continue even touching you he would be pissed. He doesn't want to make a scene yet he has to make a move. He stood up taking his sword pointing it at the drunk person's chest. He is glaring at that person as the person shivers apologizing. Kaeya's gaze is terrifying. But as soon as the person apologizes he hides his sword sitting next to you again.
The person will probably never come to the tavern again.
Time (you’re ill and only have a few months to live)
Kaeya started noticing that the last few days you didn't felt very well. And the symptoms you were experiencing were quite unique. Pale skin and black bags under the eyes because of insomnia. Hairloss and muscle pain. You not being hungry and constant vomiting. Scars and bruises randomly appearing on your skin.
His eyebrows were scrunched as he had a sad expression on his face. Yet every time you greeted him he quickly smiled and giggled pulling you into a hug and giving you lots of affection. You knew something wasn't right with you too, but you tough maybe it was an allergy or just some mental illness that could go away with few herbs.
Eventually, after the symptoms continuing Kaeya decided to visit Albedo. This resulted in you spending the whole weekend at Albedo's place. He took your blood and saliva, checking your bones and trying to massage the muscles. Taking detailed notes very carefully.
And when the tests were done and you got to know you're slowly dying as your organs are slowly collapsing, you couldn't do anything but blankly stare onto the wall. You felt hopeless. You knew you had few days to live before dying a painful death yet you weren't ready. All your dreams and goals were left in the dust.
Kaeya on the other hand couldn't believe it. He was following Albedo around asking him if It's true and how can he help you. He pinched himself several times, trying to get out of this nightmare. Kaeya grew desperate as he begged Albedo on his knees to make medication. Albedo would of course love to help but he didn't know how so he would dismiss Kaeya over and over.
Kaeya's wasn't mentally well. He would be obsessed with finding some medication. Contacting Baizhu from Lyuie. Spending all his money on different doctors and different people. He didn't even realize that at this time he should pay attention to you and go on dates with you. Instead, he was away in different nations looking for herbs and scientists.
Die (their reaction when you die/your reaction when they die)
And once Kaeya finally arrives home full of despair as he got few herbs but no medication he slowly walks around the room. But before he can hug you and reassure you and spend time with you he finds you on the floor. You were just taking few painkillers writing a diary entry as you collapsed eventually your organs giving in.
He would sit down in panic his eyes glossy as his breathing is slow. "Breathe, common please breathe, to the archons. Lord barbatos y/n breathe," he repeats himself over and over as tears roll down his cheeks. His hands shaking as he cheks your heartbeat.
Your body so cold and your eyes blank. Without a pinch of life. And that's when he breaks down.
Completely sobbing at your dead body. Brushing his hands over your skin as he peppers your face with kisses. "I'm sorry I didn't try harder, I'm useless, I'm a burden. I can't do anything right," he kisses you. But nothing.
You didn't wake up.
He kisses you again expecting you to wake up. In movies, they always wake up.
But this is not a movie.
This is a painful reality.
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syuga-s · 3 years
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The Last Time
w.c 4.3k
pairing. Jooheon x gn!reader
genre. angst, a little fluff maybe, idk how to classify it but it's my take on relationships in real life(?)
a/n. (warnings) I throw some curses here and there, mention of the word "sex" once, tried to make it as gender-neutral as possible, I could really use some help about t/w, feedback is more than welcome, hope you like the fic 🧍‍♀️
Once again you were at the same bar. With the same friends. Same music. Same drinks. It's safe to say that nothing's changed in here but you.
For some reason, you were awfully quiet tonight. Everyone was away from the table by now. All of them talking and dancing in groups.
You were regretting saying yes to going out the very moment Jasmine was at your front door. But your best friend really wanted to get you out of your house.
The thing is you weren’t going to be alone, all of your friends were tagging along. I guess I need to suck it up, maybe I could have fun, despite him.
And you really tried, there was no need to make a scene anymore. All of your friends have had their fair share of nights seeing you 'talk' with him and making things awkward for everyone. It's been a while, though. You haven't seen him in exactly 2 years.
How do I explain this? There's no resentment anymore, no hate for what happened between you. But when there's a choice between spending your Friday night at the same place as him or staying at home? Well...
But tonight was clearly different. Something (Jasmine) had dragged you here and to be quite honest, it hasn’t been half bad yet. Jasmine kept waiting for you to get up from your chair to come and chat with Jackson and Changkyun. Her all-time crush and his best friend.
"In a sec!! Just let me finish this drink!" You said while you showed her your glass. She quickly nodded and turned to keep talking with those two. You have to remember to thank them later for keeping her entertained because if it weren't for them cracking jokes every single second, she wouldn't have let you off the hook that easily.
Meanwhile, you decided to get a little lost in your head. Laughing to yourself because you were feeling like having a main character moment. Being the only one sat down in a place full of people. The mysterious persona drinking by themselves.
But that didn't last long.
"Mind if I sit here?" You shook your head. He put his drink next to yours and asked, "How are you?" And it somehow felt like you couldn’t have avoided this exact situation.
You released a breath that you didn't even know you were holding. "I'm sitting Jooheon, drinking… existing, you?" He forced himself to smile. Trying to hide the fact that he was still feeling uneasy around you. Nonetheless, showing you the dimples that you used to love so much.
“I can see that”, he paused, "it's been a lot since I last saw you, you look different".
You hummed softly, finally making eye contact with him. "So you expected for me to look the same?" You surely weren't going to pass up the opportunity to be passive-aggressive to him.
It still makes you happy to know that he has never minded this side of you.
"I'm teasing, I guess we both look different, it's been what? Two years?"
"I'm not sure, but it feels like a lot" He took a sip of his drink and started to fidget with the glass. Maybe you're not the only one that's changed after all.
In the two years, you were together, you never saw him like this. But let's remember the fact that you never fully knew him back then. It just feels weird to see him this anxious. Especially with you.
"I've wanted to reach out to you for a while now," You frowned at his words. "Guess I lacked a little courage" He let out an airy laugh. "I really want to talk to you".
Now it was your turn to feel tense. What is this supposed to mean? How long has he been wanting to talk? And talk about what?
You tilted your head and opened your mouth to ask him all this, but he didn't give you the chance to get the words out.
"Before you say something, please believe me I just wanna talk", "but not in here”.
"Alright then, where do you suggest we ‘talk’ Jooheon?” He took his phone out to check the time. 10:44 p.m. He pursed his lips and said, more like hesitating, "I could walk you home?"
You stared off into your group of friends. This was going to make their night interesting. Seeing you two go together again, just like all those times before.
Jooheon's been waiting for this since he saw on your social media that you were leaving the city. And Jasmine took care of letting him know that you would be coming back in about 6 months.
That was a year ago. More than 365 days waiting to be in the same room with you. Praying that you would let him talk to you. Not that you would reject him. But he was scared, he was perfectly aware he messed up everything.
As you were both saying goodbyes to your friends, you started to think about how everything had ended between you two.
You know what? Yes, maybe I was wrong in ghosting him but after all, I don't owe him anything. Just like he threw me out of his life two years ago. We didn't work out, he never communicated with me. He didn't choose me back. I just had to watch him get rid of me, no explanations, no nothing. And I find it really hard to believe that he's been dying to talk to me. What could be so important that he wants to have a proper conversation? How will I explain to him that I stopped replying for no particular reason? That I just realized that we weren't good together, and I had to let go of him? Should I tell him that no matter my hard feelings, I still thought about him constantly?
You had left each other in the cold back then.
He called your name, and you snapped back to reality. Didn't even realize you were already outside of the bar when he softly asked you, "aren't you cold?"
You smirked and told him "Well yeah, walking back home in this weather wasn't in my plans dummy, but I didn't bring a jacket though".
He used to be so attentive to you. One of the other things you used to love about him. Always concerned about you.
He simply put his jacket around you and started walking before you could complain about something as simple as this. Like you always did.
It feels nice to know that someone in this world knows you to this extent. The way you’ll react to simple things. How can you still love someone despite knowing that you don’t work together?
You realized he still has this jacket. It's the same one he gave me the first night we spent together. Why do I have to remember this now? Not fair. Maybe he wore it on purpose.
You gave a little run to catch him. Now that you were by his side, you were getting impatient, "Can you please start talking? I'm intrigued by all your seriousness".
You were kind of hating this feeling. Everything about him felt familiar. Suddenly, you wanted to cling your arm to his but thought twice about it.
He chuckled. "Well it's not super serious, I want us to have a nice conversation, you know?" You snorted at this, what does a nice talk mean?
"I can be nice, as long as you tell me WHAT you wanna talk about…", "come on Jooheon, just get to the point".
"Okay!! OKAY… I-" he took a deep breath and continued, "First of all, I want to apologize to you for everything, then I want us to talk about what happened between us if that's okay with you?"
You'd be lying if you didn't say that you wanted this to happen since you drew apart the first time. You always dreamt of having an adult conversation with him.
But the dream left your mind bit by bit. Just like your heart got itself back together after he left you, piece by piece.
Overwhelmed, you could only stare straight ahead into the street. He called your name again. Now your eyes were on his, and you could see his concerns. How his mind was going miles per hour, just like yours.
"I want to apologize too,” you smiled and finally let yourself link arms with him. “It’s gonna take us a while, isn’t it?”.
The walk to your apartment took around 15 minutes. The words you exchanged with Jooheon were kept to a minimum. You weren’t gonna get into the heavy stuff right there in the street.
When you finally arrived, you gave him back his jacket. It was gonna get uncomfortable to talk with him with a piece of clothing that made you remember too much.
“Want something to drink? I have a beer, wine, you name it”. He sat on your couch while you searched for something non-alcoholic in your little fridge. “A beer would be okay”.
You got yourself some water. Otherwise, your head would be fuzzy, and wouldn’t be able to tell him all you’ve had on your mind for years.
You handed him the bottle, and you took your seat on the carpet. Your mind wandered off to the last time he was in here.
When he told you goodnight and planted a soft kiss on your lips like he always did. You knew it wasn’t a simple ‘good night’, for you.
You remembered how your eyes followed him until he closed the door of your apartment.
He took a swig of his drink and by the time he put the bottle on your little coffee table, it made you realize he was sitting right there, in front of you.
Finally, gathering the courage to start telling you what was on his mind. “I never thought I’d get the chance to talk to you again”.
I didn’t think so, either. We both fucked up multiple times.
──────────────────────
You were never a couple. After 5 years, you never understood what had lacked between you. The desire was there. Now and then you had your moments of happiness. Usually on the weekends.
When you met, you weren’t looking for love or a serious relationship. At least one of you.
Jooheon was free, like the wind or like a bird. He flew back and forth and once in a while he needed to land somewhere for a while. Every so often he sought another fire, another bed, other arms that weren’t yours.
The time came when he made you feel a million things inside. Overwhelmed with words and emotions, mostly love. But also turmoil and maybe desperation.
It made you happy that he made you feel so much after being empty for months. You felt different with him. It was the kind of love you didn’t know you had in you. Didn’t even think it was possible to express about someone like this. Until him.
You didn’t need anyone else. You just needed Jooheon. Not only that, but you didn’t care for how long your love would last because you believed that the meaning of the word love was what you had built together.
A few hours together. Every so often the whole night.
But when the morning came, the nightmare started to take form. Texts at inappropriate hours, and even unanswered messages.
You started thinking that you didn’t know better. You started feeling insecure. Replaceable. Maybe he knows better than to be with me.
Desperate to know what you had. But afraid that you would ruin everything with the words “What are we?”.
Tried to convince yourself that all of this was okay. That it was a good thing that you were going slow, giving him the chance to open up to you.
Months kept passing and your trust in him was running thin. He made you feel weird on the daily. Wondering if he was seeing someone else. If he danced with someone tonight. Had they kissed? Is he having sex with someone who isn’t me? What if he’s tired of me?
You wanted to be with him, but It was starting to hurt.
I hate that when I try to get myself to think that I don’t like you anymore… you do these little things that make me love you.
When you were together, he treated you like there was no one else for him. His hand was always wrapped up in yours. Talking until dawn, about college, his family, and your relationship. Those times, you couldn’t lie to yourself about your feelings.
He was the only face you could see in the world. The only guy you’ve ever wanted to keep around. But how did we get to this point?
The day you told him you were starting to fall in love with him, all he could reply was, “I don’t know what to say, I never thought you would be in love with me”.
“That’s all you have to say?”
“Well what do you want me to say? You took me by surprise”.
“You could tell me how you feel. I’m not expecting for you to tell me you love me back, I-“
There’s no return now, you have to keep talking.
“I’m just tired of not knowing what’s in your head, I’m not sure if you want to have something with me anymore, it’s okay if you don’t so, just be honest with me”.
“I like you”. You stayed quiet after hearing this, urging him to tell you more than just three words.
“I mean, of course, I’m attracted to you”.
At that moment, you liked what you heard. But the more you thought about it, you realized that he didn’t actually care for you, or loved you. Maybe that was a greedy thought from you. Maybe you expected too much.
You were angry but mostly angry at yourself.
Why are you still waiting for him? It's been years and nothing has happened between you. Nothing ever will at this point.
You ended up telling him not to bother you again, that if this was his way of ‘loving’ you, you were better off without it.
But that was a lie, you longed for your phone to show his name, even if it was at 5 A.M. Still thinking that there was no other way to love someone.
Unable to put an end to it, months kept passing and nothing changed between you. Jooheon had many others, and you only had him.
You loved spending nights like this by his side, watching him sleep, wondering for hours about you two. Unable to explain how you could love him this much.
Maybe he did love you, but you can’t handle this kind of love anymore. It’s better for both of you to end this, whatever it was because it's driving you crazy. And you meant it this time.
Jooheon told you goodnight and planted a soft kiss on your lips like he always did.
You knew it wasn’t a simple ‘good night’ for you, this was the last time you were gonna let him in. Your eyes followed him until he closed the door of your apartment. Fighting back your tears while softly saying to yourself, “I’m always going to love you…”.
The texts at 5 A.M. came again, but this time there was no answer. Jooheon started calling and sending texts for days, but you didn’t reply. All your efforts in disappearing from him on social media weren’t stopping him.
He met someone else, yet the texts wouldn’t stop. Until one day they did.
Now and then your curiosity would get the best of you and you would see his Instagram stories with her. An older girl you had met once. They were supposed to be friends.
You wanted to avoid comparing yourself to her but, he never posted something with you. It’s a dumb thing to worry about, but it’s one of those things that sometimes matter.
You tried to understand the whole situation. Accept the fact that you two weren’t meant to be. That he didn’t see a future with you.
Your days stopped revolving around him. You focused your time on getting your degree, learning another language, going out with your friends. Even tried meeting new people.
There were a few here and there. No one was enough for you.
Your ideas of love and relationships were different now. You gave another meaning to the word love. You wanted to find someone who would love you and take care of you. A quiet kind of love, real love.
What you had with Jooheon, was something you never wanted to experience again. Days went by, even months until you saw each other once more; for the first time in Jooheon’s life, he felt a knot in his stomach, he knew he lost you, for good this time.
Months passed and Jooheon left his girlfriend. He now felt different because he looked for you in everyone, yet he couldn’t find you, and he felt empty.
He cursed himself a thousand times for not knowing how to appreciate you and the love you gave him for two whole years. Tears finally fell from his eyes, he couldn’t believe he was crying for someone, crying for love, crying for you.
He took his phone out, swallowed hard, and started typing another text.
“I miss you, and I need you with me now and always, I never thought I would say this, but I’m not happy without you. Maybe I should’ve loved you less and loved you better, I just want you to know that I’ll always be waiting for you my sweet y/n…”
But the message was never delivered. You had changed your number.
It made sense that you would do that someday. It’s been too long, but this didn’t stop him from sending you texts in the middle of the night. When he felt the overwhelming need to have his arms wrapped around you.
──────────────────────
I still love you
(9:05 p.m.)
no, I don’t
(9:06 p.m.)
I’m confused why did this happen
(2:26 a.m.)
I want you to be happy, if this is what it takes then I’m okay with it. be happy. for me. please.
(10:45 a.m.)
I kind of hate you for changing your number
(8:57 p.m.)
I’m sorry
(1:43 a.m.)
maybe if I wasn’t so fucked up this wouldn’t have happened
(3:37 a.m.)
why can’t things be like they were before
(10:13 a.m.)
please come back to me. I need you. You need me
(1:58 a.m.)
I still want you
(4:06 a.m.)
──────────────────────
The day you left town was the day he swore to himself to try his best to get another chance to talk to you, just once more. To make things right, not caring anymore about his pride. He just wanted to let you know everything he didn’t say when you were by his side.
That he was sorry that it took him too long to acknowledge he was wrong. That he knew he was a little too late and wishes that he could say something more meaningful than a simple “I want you back”.
──────────────────────
“I wonder why” You smirked at him.
The more you kept making eye contact, the more you realized you didn’t feel any kind of resentment anymore. You both had grown, and while you didn’t actually need this kind of closure, you figured this was the healthiest moment to do so.
His eyes were avoiding you now, his smile was still there, but you could tell he lost a bit of his confidence. “Okay, so I’m gonna talk first, please just hear me out. I want to rip the band-aid,” He said with a forced laugh.
“I don’t know why I could never tell you that love scares me. That it scares me to be attached to someone”. His tone was soft now.
“I still play in my head the day you told me you were falling in love with me. I couldn’t bring myself to tell you not to tell me those things because you could have changed your mind any moment”.
“I never told you how I felt one of the many nights you spent with me. You were stroking my hair and I seriously felt like crying because I was fucking scared”.
“I was scared to lose you”.
“I’m sorry because I know I made you think I didn’t want you for something serious. I’m sorry for being immature”.
“I look at you now, and I’m happy to get to see you like this. You’re still everything I’ve ever wished for and more. You need to know that nothing compares to you”.
“And believe me, I don’t expect you to take my words as a way of asking you for another chance, I know I don’t deserve it… but I would really love it if you could let me show you I could love you better this time”.
You never imagined these words coming out of his mouth. Couldn’t believe how he was looking at you. Hopeful but understanding at your loss for words.
“Can I ask you one last thing?” His voice was barely audible, but you nodded at him.
“Well, maybe it’s not an actual question, but I’d like to know why you stopped talking to me”.
“Look Jooheon, I don’t know how everything I wanna say will come out, so please bear with me”.
You didn’t know where to start, either.
There were so many things to be said that you were getting nervous to start talking. Because once you opened your mouth, you didn’t know if you would be able to piece everything together.
“When everything ended I really wanted to hate you, everyone around me hated you,” you admitted to him, “except for me and I hated that”.
“I knew that all I could be able to do was cut you from my life, so I just decided to stop talking to you”.
It may sound harsh, but it’s the truth. “I admit it was a poor way of handling things, and I’m sorry for that”.
You’ve always been scared of having this type of conversation.
You let out a sigh because you never thought that the following words were gonna come out of your mouth, ever.
“I’ve only been in love once in my life, and that was when I was with you”.
“It used to frustrate me that I wasn’t able to make it work with anyone after you. I couldn’t help but compare everyone to you”.
“I swore to myself that I never wanted to go through the same thing we had, maybe because those memories are yours and I don't want anyone else messing that up, you made me feel so safe, I felt alive with you, nothing could stop me when I had you”. 

“You've been the only one I've ever wanted to see every day, no matter the hour or how busy I was, I truly wanted everything with you”.
You hadn’t noticed how he had been looking at you this entire time. He couldn’t believe that you used to feel that way about him. Still couldn’t wrap his head around hearing you say how you loved him.
You quickly wiped a tiny little tear that escaped your eye, hoping we wouldn’t notice. But he did.
You let out a nervous laugh and said, “I’m not sad, I swear, It’s just that I never thought I would say all this out loud, especially to you”.
“You don't know how many times I wanted to call you, run to you”.
“Last year before I left I wanted to see you, I kept trying to convince myself that It didn't have to mean anything, that I was just desperate for any physical touch, but from time to time, I wonder if what I really needed was just you”.
He didn’t say anything. So you just said his name out loud. “Jooheon…” Followed by a long pause.
“I feel so different now”.
“When I was far away from you, I realized that I need someone who isn’t absent when it comes to me, someone that isn’t a ghost in my life”.
While you were talking, you were watching his every move and how he couldn’t stop playing with his rings. You’re still not used to seeing him act like this.
“At this point, I want someone who will take care of me, that makes me feel safe. Someone who wants to be with me because they love me, and they love to have me next to them. I’m beyond only spending the night over, I want whole days”.
You finally got up from the floor and sat next to Jooheon. Facing him, making him do the same. He kept looking at you for a whole minute but it felt like hours.
You didn’t know what to do after his following words.
“What I realized with being away from you is that I was pushing away what I’ve always wanted. I wasn’t confident that I could meet you where you were. I felt it would be better not to waste your time back then, but that was then, and this is now…”
You kept looking at each other a little too long. Both realizing you didn't need words anymore. The love was still there.
33 notes · View notes
beomglocks · 3 years
Text
colors ; k.th
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part of the badlands series!
colors: “you’re ripped at every edge but you’re a masterpiece.”
based off halsey’s badlands album.
warnings and other: museum curator!taehyun, old money!y/n, mentions of depression and grass smoking, little bit of angst i guess??
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taehyun sighed as he took down the 11th painting this week. the museum hadn't been very busy in the past couple of weeks, maybe because the weather was getting colder. one part of him figured that many people just wanted to be bundled up at home watching holiday themed movies and drinking warm drinks rather than appreciating enchanting artworks.
he couldn't fool himself though, he knew the truth. today's generation didn't care about the fine arts anymore. a shame, seeing as everything around them seemed to be inspired by it.
kang taehyun worked at his local museum. he had been offered the position by the owner one night while roaming the place. this should've been a red flag looking back. the owner seemed desperate for someone to fill in the position since the previous employee had left without notice. nonetheless, taehyun took the job and didn't regret it one bit.
open 24/7, the red haired boy was always working on the clock. not that there was much to do seeing as most of the people his age or even a bit older didn't hang around museums purely for the joy of it. actually, his only job was to exhibit the newly arrived collections, clean and dust them off, and conduct regular tours and workshops for the public. due to this and the fact that not many people even came by he would take regular breaks.
once in a while you'd see the occasional old person or art expertee roaming around the small museum. if you were lucky, you'd see the local edgy teens posing next to a piece they didn't understand just to get an aesthetic picture. taehyun would also have the unfortunate job of shooing them away or scolding them for getting just a bit too close.
recently his boss, who was the museum manager and maybe the only other person besides taehyun that worked there, had informed him that due to funds and unfortunate unforeseen events, the museum would be closing down in about a month from now. this caused taehyun to fall deep into a depression since this was his only job and he loved it here. the museum was like his second home. he found comfort in the silent images displayed throughout the building. they always told him a story and when new pieces came in he would sit and stare attentively at the new anecdote being told to him.
taehyun smiled sadly at the piece he had just taken down. it was a painting of 2 people kissing however both of their faces were covered by white cloths. this was his favorite and he didn't even have a clue as to why. probably because of the uncertainty of what the other was feeling or because of the fact that the other couldn't see each other's faces through the cloth, that would've made the kiss more exciting in his opinion.
he stepped out of the museum and into the frosty air of the outside world. it was only autumn so why was it so cold? he thought to himself. he discreetly pulled out a prerolled blunt and his white lighter from his pocket. he lit it and stuck in between his slightly chapped lips.
maybe smoking dope wasn't the healthiest thing in the world, especially for a boy so young, barely 19, but it helped taehyun get his mind off the inevitably of losing his job and being homeless for the winter. he shuttered at the thought. he would have to room with one of his friends, he sighed shaking his head. no, he didn't want to be a burden, yeonjun had helped him enough as it is.
he looked at his surroundings taking in the cold autumn afternoon. the trees had long lost their leaves and were bare. the sky was a murky gray color as if it were threatening to rain any time soon. he noticed a girl bundled up in winter clothes near the entrance of the building glance at him. he smiled at her and she jumped at the eye contact, thinking that he wouldn't catch her. taehyun chuckled as he watched her rush into the museum. "back to work," he said out loud to himself.
once the blunt had been almost gone, he smoked what was left of it and headed back into the empty museum. he was feeling light-headed, the effects of the blunt finally taking action, but taehyun was used to it so it barely affected him as much.
he made his way to the girl who was now starting to take off her jacket and scarf. taehyun tapped on the girl's shoulder to get her attention. "hi," he smiled at the girl, showing off his dazzling smile. "if you'd like, i could give you a tour of the museum." well what's left of it anyways, he thought to himself.
"oh...no thank you," said the girl. she smiled warmly at the worker. "well not to be invasive of your decision but it's sort of in my job description," taehyun replied as he rubbed the back of his neck. the girl sighed in defeat, "i guess i have no choice then."
taehyun laughed as he took her coat and scarf to hang up in the public closet, "yep, trust me. they say im not that bad of a tour guide, im quite fun to be around if i do say so myself. i promise not to bore you too much." the girl nodded, not entirely convinced. "if i do end up bored i will hold you accountable..." she took a moment to take a peek at taehyun's name tag, "kang taehyun," she joked.
as they walked through the museum the girl couldn't help but notice that it was fairly empty. "why are there almost no paintings in here?" she laughed hesitantly. "i thought this was a museum?" taehyun stopped walking, turning to her with a sad expression on his face.
"the museum is expected to close in about a month or so," he stated simply. "oh...that's terrible. may i ask why?" the girl responded. "my boss says we've run out of funds or something like that," taehyun chuckled bitterly. "people don't really give a shit about good art these days anyways."
"that's a shame..."
they continued to look through the various paintings that were still up and occasionally the girl would ask to see the ones that were taken down and left on the floor. it seemed the two were lost in each other's company as night started to approach.
"thank you for the tour of this lovely museum taehyun. it was fun but it's a shame such a nice museum like this is closing down," the girl said softly. taehyun nodded solemnly, he just wanted to get this day over with and crash at his apartment. he didn't blame the girl before him but talking to her reminded him of his harsh reality. a notification coming from the girl's bag made both of them jump as they were both lost in their thoughts.
"ah, that must be my father. he's kind of annoying when it comes to my curfew," she chuckled, digging her phone from her bag. taehyun watched her with a bored expression until his eyes reached her bag. he hadn't noticed this earlier but she had been carrying a louis vuitton bag. his eyes bulged at the expensive item that was so close to him, they got even larger when she fished out the latest iphone from it.
taehyun wasn't poor per se, he had just enough to get by since he was living paycheck to paycheck. however, he had never been in such close proximity to any luxury items. he suddenly felt weird being this close to this girl.
"what do you mean by curfew?" taehyun asks hesitantly. the girl sighs, "my father is one of south korea's richest chaebol's, maybe one of the big three at his point." she rolled her eyes as if this information was nothing. "he's super strict with me because i guess i'm just his show pony daughter whom he can show off to say he's a good father."
taehyun gulped, had he just been casually hanging out with the daughter of one of the richest men in korea? he felt sick at this. she looked up at taehyun's uneasy expression, "oh my god im sorry i just dumped that all on you! i just needed to catch a break so i came here, i didn't mean to drag you into my life story."
taehyun fixes his face, laughing nervously, "no- no its fine really. we all need a break sometimes right? im glad you got to have that time here." the girl smiled up at him, completely misreading his nervous laughter, "im glad i got to spend it here with you taehyun."
"oh before i go!" taehyun watched her pull out a checkbook from her bag and his stomach dropped. he silently watched her scribble some stuff onto the slip and tear it out, handing it to him.
"there's not too much i can take out of my account without my father flipping out but i hope this helps even just a little. whether it be in your personal life or with the museum."
taehyun eyes the check and chokes when he sees 50,000 dollars written neatly on the black line. he swears he can feel sweat going down his face like in the cartoons. "i- i cant possibly take this from you." he moves to hand the check back but the girl refuses to take it back. "taehyun, you love this museum with your entire being. i see the way to look at the paintings and the passion with which you explained them to me. i'd hate to see that taken away."
"plus, if you're gone who's gonna give me the tour when i come back?" she laughs as if this is something casual. taehyun's hands shake as he pockets the check, "i seriously cannot thank you enough...you don't know how much you just helped the museum and m-"
the girls phone dings again and she grumbles, "ugh why can't he just leave me alone. sorry but i think i really gotta go for real before he tracks my location or something crazy like that."
taehyun nods wistfully at the mention of her having to leave. he was really starting to enjoy her company.
"oh by the way," the girl giggles as she pulls her coat on hurriedly.  "was that you smoking weed at the corner of the museum earlier?" the girl chuckled to herself again just remembering it. taehyun furrowed his eyebrows, "why would you say that kind of thing at out loud and at my job?!" he scolded in a playful hushed voice.
"i just thought it was funny and you also smelled of weed the entire tour, i didn't mind though so don't worry," the girl concluded. she was starting to walk away towards out the door now. "i'll walk you out," taehyun offers. "such a helpful employee. is this in the job description too?" the girl jokes, turning to him while a smile on her lips. "well, not exactly," taehyun says smoothly.
she shakes her head, "i'll see you soon taehyun." he watches her walk off into the darkness of the night when he suddenly remembers something.
"hey what's your name by the way?" he shouts after the girl. for some reason taehyun really was hopeful of seeing her again.
"y/n!" came the disembodied voice of the girl he had just met.
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skzluvs · 4 years
Text
Phobia; Han jisung
Genre: angst, fluff (if you squint)
Warnings: mention of nightmares
Word count: 1.8k
A/N: Hi! I’m back from my hiatus with another angst fic inspired by the drama it’s okay to not be okay combined with a little bit of phobia I hope you guys like it!
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The girl who fed on nightmares
there was a girl who woke up every night by the nightmares, demons that haunted her dreams. She was twisted inside, held back by the painful memories of her past.
panting breath, irregular heartbeat, a cold sweat dripping from her forehand. she opened her eyes to meet with the darkness of her room. Terror washed over her. frightened.
"it's just another nightmare" she said trying to calm down the thoughts that were messing up her already deranged head.
a familiar setup, you might think she grew accustomed to the feeling after the third night but that's was not true the lingering feeling of numbness grew by the time she realized there was no escape from the chains that still cuffed her up.
the morning came earlier, with very few hours of sleep, she got up and got ready for work. the days turned into a monotone.
she arrived to bookstore, pure silence made her mind feel content. A moment of peace in the torrential rain.
"excuse me" a soft voice called her, almost as quiet as a whisper that's being shared between lovers.
she looked up to meet with a boy, with black hair and a mischievous smile, he looked cheerful with an undeniable strong aura that surrounded his slender figure, definitely not the type you would see in a library at 8am in the morning.
"yes" she replied politely to the boy who carried a handful on books on his arms.
"i want to check all of these out please" he placed the books on the counter.
As she took a look at the pile, she got intrigued by the peculiar selection.
children books.
but not the kind that you read to a child unless you want them to have nightmares, and she knew damn well about that.
"you like this gruesome stuff ?" she was never the kind to question other people's interests but for some strange motive she wanted to know.
" it's a children's book how can you call this masterpiece gruesome" the boy seemed rather offended by her words.
" the pictures make me want to cry my eyes out and I'm an adult, there's no way this book was targeted for such audience" she said
" it seems like you know nothing about this books not the author , therefore I won't be engaging in a discussion, you can continue to be ignorant later just let me borrow them so I can go" he said annoyed, taping with his finger on top of the dusty cover.
The girl refused to give out response and rather continued to do her job. she sure didn't get paid enough for that.
"here" she said handing him the books along with the returning slip. "you have 2 weeks to return them unless you want more time come before the deadline to extend the borrowing period"
"thank you" he left not sparing to look at her for the last time before exiting through the door.
the browned eyed boy who just happened to be named han jisung, she found out his name through his library card. Was all she could think about, not because she was interested, but because of the of his actions. Usually she evaded social situations, she found people not worth of her time, but there was something about that boy that made her wanted to crush him like a fragile butterfly with broken wings.
another meaningless night, it was tiring to get emptied out like that. Every time she closed her fears shaped into a reality. she was stuck with the phobia.
days passed by, a body that walks through the streets without a soul. There was nothing she wanted nothing she desired more but to fall asleep. So she lived her life longing for that moment.
going through the bookshelves placing them correctly by alphabetical order. A pair of eyes stuck to the back of her head.
a boy who watched her carefully from the other side of the room, and he probably thought he was being precautious, but she knew she was being observed.
Jisung. Who came everyday just to sit as far back from the main entrance as possible, hiding in a corner reading the books he so much loved. After the first encounter with the girl he could no longer sleep the same way. His thoughts circled around her small frame and the sound of her broken voice.
there was this thing about her, he called it despondency and he was drowned right into it. like the tales had taken over a human form.
by the end of the two weeks he stood there fidgeting, over the course of the last couple of days his little instigating got him nowhere. She repeated a daily routine, there was nothing to analyze in her vague movements and worn out expressions. However he knew she hides more than the human eye can perceive behind that weary facade.
The moment she clocked out he followed her outside.
"why are you following me" the girl stopped her tracks and made a spin over her ankles, just to meet with him.
"I needed to ask you something" He said rather shy. all the courage he build up over the weeks disappearing at the strong gaze that confronted him.
"I'm not obligated to respond, do me a favor and get lost" She turned around and continued to walk.
It was an expected reply exactly what made jisung decide it was better to come up with a different plan.
every day he would put a book of his collection on top of her desk hoping she would get interested enough to read it.
but instead she would just eye the cover and place it back to its shelf.
Not until one day she meet to something different, the book had a folded edge, opening the page carefully, her fingers ghosting over the words printed on the glossy paper.
"bad memories from the past that he wanted to erase from his head"
"were replayed in his dreams every night"
"and haunted him nonstop"
"the boy was terrified of falling asleep"
a creeping feeling went down her spine, and her trembling hands made the book fall. Her own monsters greeted her with a grin. Collapsing with the wooden floor.
jisung got petrified by the loud sound. He hurried his way to find the girl unconscious on the ground. it was all his fault.
a disturbing sound came from her mouth. She woke up in an oddly unfamiliar house. Her body covered by a thin blanket, the walls were closing like the screams that got caught up in her throat.
jisung who was downstairs making dinner ran through the stairs and opened the door alarmed at the high pitched noises.
"Are you okay?" He exclaimed trying to recover his breath.
"what am I doing here? where am i ?" she asked not trying to panic even more. She felt so dizzy the room kept on spinning.
"you're at my house, you passed out at the library" He said scratching the nape of his neck with guiltiness.
"I remember now, this was your deed, you and your stupid nauseating books" by the looks of it she had been gone for a while. Not to mention the longer she was in a slumber the longer the suffering.
"not my fault you got scared by a book for 5 year olds" He said shrugging, with an unprovoked expression.
"And you dared to call me an ignorant" she deadpanned.
"Do you fear anything?" He asked out of the blue.
what is the real meaning behind fear?. Fear is tangible. Is the anxiety, the desperation to run away and hide forever where they can't find you, it means to want to stab your eyes with a safety pin to blind the pain. Is the captivity of oneself.
"You're scared of yourself aren't you?" it no longer sounded like a question but more like an affirmation.
he had figured you out in no time. You couldn't let them see the vulnerable side, not to anyone and most definitely not this stranger.
"You said it yourself you know nothing so leave alone before it's too late" She threatened.
"Anyways I'm sorry for being so persistent, never intended to make you feel uncomfortable, I'll be downstairs if you need me, dinner is ready if you want to come and have something to eat before you leave" He knew it was better not to push it if he wanted answers.
But why was he so desperate to understand the world inside her head ?
Jisung felt the loneliness of her being. He came up to the conclusion that he wanted to be the person who brought the girl back to life.
After some time he grew a step closer to her, not to the point she would stop pushing him away but at least his efforts had made a very insignificant change.
She would let him read the books to her once in a while, she fed into the words, relating to every single one of them. But things were still the same at night, she would break down to the horrifying sight.
"Jisung why are you still here ?" she asked him unable to understand why the boy remained by her side even when she treated him like a piece of trash.
"Because im trapped under your spell" he confessed.
"You’re e going to end up in so much pain" she said looking into his eyes.
"You can't go to heaven before crossing the flames of hell" He responded with certainty. “ and If I have to burn I rather do it while still holding you”
"Would you still like me if you knew the kind of monster I am, not the one you read in books but the kind that hides behind a mask and transforms at night"
" I would still like you if you were the devil himself"
" The devil wont tear your soul apart like I would trust me" She knew she would drive him into despair. But she had warned him multiple times, from here she no longer take accountability, he would meet fear. She would make sure of that.
I'm stuck with the phobia although I want to stay with you I'm scared that you might disappear in between the shadows. How can I hold you when I was made to destroy you.
there was a girl whose world was a pitch black hole and her insides were dark and twisted, and a boy who fell in love with her repulsiveness swore to never leave her, but her darkness overshadowed the fugacious happiness of a spur moment and the voices in her head claimed that she was all alone. but the boy sang to her a lullaby that lulled her into a deep sleep and for the first time in forever there were no painful memories in her dreams.
She was the girl who fed on nightmares. The one he once read about and the one he was now holding on his arms.
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fangirlspammer · 4 years
Text
Sparks Fly (part 3)
Okay I apologize for my delay, but you will be happy to know that I have the next chapter nearly finished as well (!!!!!) So hopefully it won't take me too long to post that one after all the editing😌 I hope you enjoy this chapter😌
Also, yes, I did use a Desperate Housewives plot for my murder case, and no I'm not sorry. I suck at writing crime😂
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A flash of heat washed over you, the room was spinning, the loud music was drowning out your thoughts, and your vision was blurring.  You could feel your heart begin to pound and the blood rushing throughout your body.  The city lights blurred together as you tried to focus, but that was failing.  There was a voice trying to get through to you, but you couldn't make it out.  The next thing you knew you're head was hitting the dashboard and the sounds of screaming and car horns echoed in your mind.
*
"Y/N!" a faint voice sounded in the distance. "Y/N!"
The voice was louder now, and when you could feel yourself being shaken you shot up from your sleeping position on the couch and gasped frantically for air.  You couldn't catch your breath and hot tears rolled down your cheeks. The person behind the voice was holding you tightly to their chest, and after a few minutes you knew that it was your big brother.  He was rubbing your back and rocking you gently, whispering words of comfort in your ear until you could grasp into reality.
*
"That's your fourth one this month," he sighed from the kitchen 30 minutes later.
"I know," you acknowledge blankly and hugged the warm, couch throw around you tighter.
You watched your big brother roam around the kitchen making you his famous tea. He always knew how to calm your nerves after a night terror like this. Despite the every day frustrations of living with your brother; clothes all over the place, dishes in the hamper, towels on the floor; you were grateful to have him around these past 13 months. After your little incident nothing had ever been the same, and you didn't think you would have made it through without him by your side, especially in your line of work.
When he finally noticed you coming into the kitchen he shook his head at you and pointed back towards the living room. "No. No go lay down," it wasn't a request, but you didn't care.  That old couch was not comfortable in the slightest.
"You don't have to baby me, Travis," your annoyance was clear, but obviously he didn't care about that.
"I do when you aren't taking your meds," he frowned and set an ugly orange bottle in front of you.
"Oh god, don't say 'meds' like that," you rolled your eyes.  "It makes me sound sick," you huffed just as annoyed.
"This isn't a joke!" you jumped, eyes wide, when his voice filled the kitchen.  He softened and ran his hand through his messy hair.  "Y/N, I can't help if you won't even help yourself.  What does NCIS have to say about this?" his eyes were searching yours for an answer, but you couldn't even come up with a quick enough lie.  "Dammit, Y/N.  They don't know about this?"
"Travis, it isn't as bad as you make it out," the words rushed out of you, but he wasn't buying it. "I can still do my job, and it only happens while I'm asleep anyway."
"And how long until that's not the case?" he tested you.
You sighed and walked around the island to him and took the tea he had made you.  "Big brother I appreciate you looking out for me, I do, but it's too early for one of your fatherly lectures," you sighed and he rolled his eyes. "Now if you will excuse me, I have a shower calling my name before I have to be at work," you kissed his cheek and headed across the room.
"Does she know?" the words had you frozen in place.
You knew that he was talking about Jack. Who else would it be?  Ever since the that night she came prying into your life, you couldn't get your mind off of her.  She had been at NCIS for 6 months now, and the two of you had become the best of friends.  She hadn't taken the place of Ellie, but Jack wasn't like Ellie, and neither were your feelings for her, even if you couldn't place them.  Of course she didn't know.  What did he think?  That you were completely crazy enough to tell the NCIS psychologist about your night terrors?  That you hadn't been taking your medication?  Because if that's what he thought, well, he knew better than that.
"Why does that matter?" you tried to make your voice sound at level.  The grip on your mug tightened so the tea wouldn't spill.
"So that's a no," he rolled his eyes and you could feel him staring a hole into the back of your neck.  You hated how he could see right through you.  You almost responded, but bit your tongue and stepped into the bathroom and the door shut behind you.
*
When you arrived at the office Gibbs was already there and a cup of coffee was on your desk.  You dropped your bag on the floor and fell into your seat with a quiet sigh of relief. "Thanks Gibbs," you muttered tiredly and took a sip before furrowing your brow. "Wait, how did you know-"
"You've been early every day this week," he shrugged and glanced over his monitor towards you.
"Right," you nodded and began to set up your space.
"Anything wrong?"
You knew that Gibbs was concerned about any of the team who's pattern abruptly changed. What you didn't know was why it was such a surprise to you. Quickly you shook your head. "Nope," you could feel him staring at you but brush it off when you refused to say more.
You were grateful that he stopped there and you began to go through the paperwork on your desk. It was another 2 hours until the rest of the team arrived. You ignored the look of concern Ellie flashed you and finished up with the last of the paperwork. That was the 4th stack of paperwork you had gone through this week alone. Your mind needed a distraction and case files would do that to a person.
"Y/N," you looked up to see Jack standing up in the balcony. "Got a second?" She eyed you closely and you felt your chest tighten. You had been avoiding her lately. With all you'd been through the last thing you needed was for Jack to get suspicious. She always could see right through you.
"Got a body," Gibbs entered the bullpen in a hurry and grabbed his gear.
"Rain check?" You gave a sympathetic smile and quickly headed to the elevator. Thank God for this case. That was a horrible thought, one that you didn't truly mean, but you just needed to get away.
*
Jimmy was at the scene of the crime before anybody else had arrived, and with the help of Ducky they had gathered enough information to make a proper diagnosis of how this woman had died.  She was murdered, hit by something wooden to the back of the neck and then strangled by a fishing rope and hung from her banister.  It didn't take long for you to find a clue as to who the biggest suspect was while you and the team were looking through the house.  There was a threatening note on the desk that read: I know what you did.  I am going to tell.
"McGee," you looked over your shoulder and held up the note with gloves on.
McGee came over and read it, his brow furrowing the more he read.  "It looks like Cathryn Phelps had an enemy," he stated as he put it into an evidence bag.
"Who is Jamie Harris?" Bishop questioned as she read it now.
"Did you say Jamie Harris?" Torres entered the room.  He held up a picture frame with two women in it after you nodded.  "She was Cathryn's wife."
You couldn't fight the surprise that flashed across your face when Torres announced that.  "Why would she send a threatening note to her own wife?"
*
The rest of the car ride was full of theories tossed back and forth, and you knew Gibbs was thankful when the car finally came to a stop in the NCIS parking lot.  He didn't hesitate to get out and head towards the building, and you quickly followed.  You were eager to get your work done, and if you stuck around with the rest of the team you knew that they would start trying to analyze you.  The last thing that you wanted to do was talk about your problems, besides this case wasn't sitting well with you at all and you wanted to solve it quickly.
"There you are!" Jack bounced into the bullpen with a bright smile, but you could read between the lines.  She was up to something, you could tell by the way she narrowed her eyes ever so slightly.  Not that you were analyzing the psychologist or anything as crazy as that.
"Here I am," you nodded and plopped down in your chair.  "Busy as a bee.  No time for chit chat," you knew you were giving yourself away, but you avoided her gaze.
"Go," you looked over wide eyed to Gibbs.  "Y/N Go," he repeated with a slightly irritated frown.
"Boss I-" you stopped when he gave you that famous death stare.  You frowned and closed your things before following Jack and muttering something under your breath as the team walked by and watched with curiosity.  They were always so curious.
*
You followed Jack into her office and sighed as she insisted you go in first.  It wasn't as though you were going to run away.  Gibbs would just send you back up, and Jack would probably handcuff you to the chair.  You shook your head as the thought of handcuffs quickly veered into a vivid fantasy you did not want to relish in at this moment. You sighed and took a seat on the sofa with your hands in your lap.
"What is so important that it couldn't wait, Jack?" you huffed.
Jack frowned, not understanding all of this hostility. "I'm sorry, Y/N, I didn't realize having to talk to me was such a chore," she pouted and crossed her arms from across the room.
"I'm sorry," you sighed and let out a long breath that you seemed to have been holding in.  "I just have a lot that needs to get done."
"That's what I want to talk to you about."
Your eyes shot up and you crossed your arms.  "My work?  Jack I don't really think that is any of your business.  It's not like I'm letting cases pile up or coming into work late every day.  Frankly, I don't understand what this is even about."
"It is my business when it's been brought to my attention by someone who is concerned about you," Jack frowned as you kept taking that defensive tone with her.  You had been doing it a lot lately.
"This is ridiculous," you huffed and stood up to leave in frustration.
"Y/N, sit down," her voice came out firmer than she anticipated.  You frowned at her, but slowly retreated back into the couch.  "The team is worried about you, and after all that they've pointed out... well, so am I."
"What the hell does everybody have to be worried about??" you snapped.
Jack opened up a file she had laying on her desk and came over to sit in the chair across from you.  "You were in a car accident just over a year ago, am I right?"
You felt your heart drop and your stomach turn.  Suddenly you felt nauseous and cursed yourself for not taking your medication this morning after Travis insisted.  Your hands suddenly started shaking and you hugged yourself a little tighter than before.  "Where did you hear that?" your voice came out in a hoarse whisper.
"It was in your file.  Vance gave it to me when I started," she stated matter-of-factually.
You could feel your blood boiling.  She had known from the start more about you than you even knew to this day about her!  Was any of this even real or had she been giving you the sympathetic shoulder this whole time?  You didn't know what to say, because if you spoke now you would probably regret it.  You were functioning on 3 hours of sleep, and your emotions were running high already.
"Who was the woman?" her voice interrupted the thoughts racing through your mind causing your head to pound.
"What woman?"
"The woman in the car," her voice was soft as though not to upset you more.  She could see this whole things was causing you to act on edge.  "The woman who died."
The tears silently fell down your cheeks and you held your breath.  You didn't even know that you had started to cry until the tears landed on your hands.  You took a deep breath and quickly wiped your eyes.  "It doesn't matter."
Jack sighed softly, this was going to be harder than she thought, but she needed answers.  Vance had told her that you had refused to talk to anybody about the accident after it happened.  At first it hadn't affected your work.  He had been informed that you had spoken to Ellie and that your brother had moved in.  It was as though the accident had never happened, but these past few months, especially the last 4 weeks, you had started to go backwards mentally.  You had been forcing yourself to work 3 times your normal work load, you had been coming in 2 hours earlier, and you had taken spontaneous trips down to the gym at every chance.  You had even started to doze off on occasion, and Gibbs hadn't been allowing you into interrogation lately.
"It matters, Y/N," Jack pressed on.  Her voice was calming, and it only made you madder.  "You can't keep carrying on like this never happened.  It is catching up to you, and it isn't healthy."
"Just stop!" you snapped and jumped to your feet.  "I didn't ask for your help!  I never wanted help in the first place, so why are you pushing?  This doesn't concern you!"
Jack let out another slow sigh and began to write something down.  You watched her and clenched your fists at your sides.  "I'm afraid it does, Y/N, and until you decide to talk about it, I am afraid that I am going to have to give you a suspension," she tore the paper from the notebook and handed you a copy.
You took the paper and looked down at it dumbfounded.  "What the hell is this?"
"You aren't to step foot back into NCIS until you decide to cooperate," Jack had to be tough, her voice was firm, but she was doing all she could to keep it together.  You and her were close friends, almost the best of, and this was harder on her than she was able to let on.  "Pack your things and go home, Y/N," she whispered and turned to go to her desk.  She took a seat and busied herself with her computer, avoiding any more contact with you.
"You can't do this," you argued, waving the piece of paper at her.  "You don't have the right to do this."
"Actually, she does," you snapped your head to see Director Vance standing in the doorway with his hands folded behind his back.  "Y/N, I trust you will won't need an escort," he eyed you carefully.
Your jaw dropped as you looked between the two.  Jack still avoided your gaze and Vance was calm, be it he had two escorts waiting in the hall just in case.  You rolled your eyes at the thought.  He should have known you better than that.  "You've got to be kidding me," you muttered and pushed past him before racing down the steps.  You went to your desk, slid all of your belonging into your bag carelessly and zipped it up angrily.
"Where do you think you're going?" Gibbs spoke up, but you didn't answer, only worked faster.  "Y/N!"
"Ask your boss," you snapped as you gathered the last of your things.  The team was wise not to get in the middle of this, but Ellie quietly took the note out of your hand to see what was going on.  What did you care?  She was your best friend after all, it was only a matter of time before she knew anyway.  "I've been suspended due to my hard work ethic and punctuality," you rolled your eyes in disdain.  The sarcasm didn't sit well with Vance, who was now standing outside of the bullpen, but you didn't care.
"Like hell you are," Gibbs came to your defense and looked to Vance.  "Leon, she's my best Agent for this case."
"I'm sorry, Gibbs, but my hands are tied," Vance apologized.
"Bullshit," you muttered and you could practically hear the teams eyes widen.  You glanced up to see Jack offer a sympathetic pursing of the lips, but you rolled your eyes and walked towards the elevator.  "Don't expect me back soon.  I don't plan on 'cooperating'," you frowned and with that you were gone.
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takaraphoenix · 6 years
Note
I believe you didn't talk about your opinion of Riverdale's season 2 yet. (You know, in it's entirety and not just of some scenes.) But now I'm left curious. What do you think of the rest of the season? And since you wanted to find out on your own: Did you manage to correctly identify the Black Hood before it was confirmed in the show?
Oooh. Oh, sorry. I just always post the excitement when something, ya know, exciting happens. Still unsure about lengthy ramblings that seem too off-topic from the blog. (Yes, I am still pretending this blog has a theme. Let me. xD)
Oh dear, how do I put all the things into words and in order?
To sum it up briefly as an intro: I’m disappointed.
Now, more in detail.
Starting with the things I liked. Which are significantly less than the things I disliked, hence the overall verdict.
Toni is an amazing character and I love her addition to the show. I just hope she will get her own plotline next season, because this season she was only there to either further Jughead’s plot or Cheryl’s. I’m also very eager to see Toni’s and Cheryl’s relationship unfold, because boy do I ship it hard.
I really enjoyed FP and Alice Cooper’s development this season, much to my own surprise. Alice came out being one of my most hated characters first season, but I actually liked her semi-redemption arc and... I... somehow now ship her and FP? I am very disturbed by that, to be honest.
And... with that, we kind of reached the end of the things I enjoyed this season? Which, yeah, sad.
I didn’t like a single one of the main characters’ plotlines this season.
Archie and how his relationship with his father slowly came apart over the course of the season - despite it being semi-mended in the end, this whole arch seemed unnecessarily forced and in contrast to their portrayal in the first season.
Archie and starting his own fucking gang. TWICE.
Seriously. He gives Jughead shit for being a serpent, but then he goes ahead and starts his own gang. And the fucking names. Red Circle. Dark Circle. Wow. Such creativity, much awe.
Archie running after Hiram Lodge all season long was just... intensely disturbing to watch. He just allowed himself to be sucked in deeper and deeper.
So did Veronica and with her it annoyed me even more. First season Veronica seemed so much like the girl who was against her criminal father. And now she just... doubled down on the crime hard. And I genuinely don’t know what she was expecting? Because the girl acted like what happened was somehow a surprise or something in the end, when she turned against him again. Like. What... What did she think would happen...?
Then there was Betty’s plot.
I liked that she confided in Archie and her friends about the Black Hood and didn’t just do a solo gig. But her trying to get her brother and them just immediately accepting the creep into the family without so much as a fucking background check first.
And Jughead literally went from the sweet nerd with a blog to the fucking king of the gang. Like. Good lords, slow it down some. It seemed so incredibly rushed just how fast he came to accept the serpents as his family and the school as his home. I think that his “becoming a serpent and becoming king of the serpents” plot should have been stretched out over two seasons.
Cheryl’s plot was... so over the top too. Conversion camp? Her mom trying to murder grandma? And... her characterization was all over the place too. One second she is the Queen with the power-moves cutting her mom’s oxygen, the next she is the crying girl in the corner, weak and helpless. I mean, I get that with everything that happened last and this season to her, she wouldn’t be fully stable, but it really felt more like convenient writing. “Mh, we need more tension, so how about Cheryl is utterly helpless and defenseless in the next scene?” turning into “Oh but we could use a badass move, how about she just attacks the serial killer with her bow and arrows and without being the least bit intimidated?”.
Also Cheryl and Rose now living alone in the mansion... Honestly, instead of making her sick grandma her guardian, I think auntie Alice should have stepped up.
The relationship between Cheryl and Betty is really fascinating and I would genuinely enjoy seeing more of it. Like, having Cheryl move in with them, she can have Polly’s room. She would be forced to live a more down-to-Earth life.
The whole evil twin of her dad thing was really unnecessary. I mean. Seriously. It added absolutely nothing to the plot.
Just, overall, there was way too much going on this season for my taste.
And not just too much as in too many plotlines, also just... too dark, too deep, too heavy.
This show is indeed taking the Desperate Housewives route, but it hits it harder than I expected.
That is to say, the first season offers a genuinely intriguing, vaguely over-dramatic mystery that happens and that brings an unlikely band of protagonists together to solve it. Following seasons will so desperately try to top it that the dramatic event is completely blown out of proportions and loses absolutely all grasp on reality.
And that’s what happened this season.
We get a serial killer. And the mafia. And a psycho imposter brother. And an evil twin. And a conversion camp. And a gang war. And a serial rapist. And a drug problem.
That’s just too many “and”s.
First season worked perfectly. It had that one mystery that they had to solve and then some sub-plots around it. That mystery was one murder.
Now, to your other question regarding the Black Hood: HONESTLY HALF THE TIME I FORGET THAT HE IS A CHARACTER ON THIS SHOW.
Hal is so bland and so unimportant. When he made his first appearance this season, I legit went “OH right Alice has a husband! Ooops!”.
I figured it out at one point, but then they went misdirection with that second, or third, I lost count, Black Hood and I grew doubtful because why the fuck.
Last season, with daddy Blossom, it took me really long to figure it out. But when it was revealed, it was a thing that made sense. They set the mystery up so you had to work to figure it out, but it made sense plotwise.
This one? They purposefully wrote it so it doesn’t make sense.
There is no legit motive. They retconned some “Oh by the way his dad was a murderer but he pinned it on someone else and momma brainwashed him and Betty’s words in the last season finale were a trigger to turn him into a serial killer” so hard that it’s just pathetic.
And how he conveniently managed to stop killing when he got it pinned on someone else. That was literally only plot-convenience to make the viewer believe they got the right guy, because Hal had no logical motivation to stop killing. It was never about hiding his crimes? He literally wrote letters and made phone-calls and flaunted it in everybody’s face, why would he find a scapegoat and then stop killing? That’s just... bullshit. He should have, logically speaking, gone after like Hiram Lodge or some other scumbag criminal.
Nothing about that shit could have been guessed.
I mean, I did guess that Hal would be the son of the murderer. Or the one surviving child from the murder. But then they put the janitor in and killed that.
Last season’s mystery came natural. This one was forced in every way of the word.
That just completely took the fun out of it for me.
Well, that and the sheer amount of cruelty and brutality this season. There was no fun this season. Last season still had its lighthearted moments. This one didn’t.
It’s not just taking a bad Desperate Housewives route, that route is crossing streets with the bad Teen Wolf route of going grittier and darker and removing all color and fun from something that used to have color and fun and then somehow expecting that to be good. It is not. It never will be.
Either make something gritty and dark from the get-go so it attracts the right crowd of people, or make something that has jokes and lightheartedness in it and embrace that. But don’t attempt a genre-change like that. It’s a failure.
The musical episode was really out of place for me too. It didn’t fit to the tone of this season at all. Fun musical stuff could have gone with last season. Not to mention the musical could have been Kevin’s plotline. But... Kevin kind of didn’t get a plotline at all. He got one episode of musical thrown his way and that vague shit about him fucking in the woods and that was, essentially, it.
I am also not a hundred percent sure; did Betty and Jughead actually fuck or just make out...? I usually look away when they start undressing on screen and only look up again when the scene is over. I fail to see any reason for sex scenes at all, period, in literally any show, but especially so in a show about supposed teenagers? It’s just... weird for me. But if they did, fuck you show. I want asexual Jughead. Also, this ship has zero chemistry.
And can someone maybe get Betty a therapist now? Last season with her turning into psycho Betty with the fucking wig was already Really Disturbing, but she doubled down on that hard this season? And? Is she supposed to have some form of... personality disorder? Is that intentional? Either way, she helped cover up a murder this season and got psychologically tortured by her father who is a serial killer, so yeah please get her professional help.
So, yeah. That’s it.
I found this season too forced, too dark and too brutal and if the show doubles down on those elements with the same rate that it did from season 1 to season 2, then season 3 is going to be DCEU levels of dark and gritty.
I really hope they will slow down and that they will start remembering that you don’t have to rush from one traumatic, brutal event to the next murder to the next attempted rape and so on, but that you can... pause in between and put something more light in, to even things out. How do writers keep forgetting that...?
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