#but until then i am alone in the apartment | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

hoshifighting · 1 day

Text

Synopsis: Where you find out you were a bet.

Preview: "So it was all a bet Seungkwan? Who makes you feel like this, hm?" you taunted, "Who else are you going to find out there that can do the things I do to you?" "That's right," you continued, your voice low and fierce. "No one. No one can fuck you like I do. No one knows your body like I do. No one else can make you beg like this. And you know it!"

Word Count: 3.3k

Warnings: Smut, RAGE SEX, humping, penetrative sex, angst, hair pulling, riding, possessive words & etc.

For the past few months, you and Seungkwan had been living a secret life filled with youthful exuberance and passion. Despite your differences, there was an undeniable chemistry that kept pulling you back together. It all started innocently enough, with shared interests in theater and park outings, but it quickly escalated into something much more intense.

You and Seungkwan had a routine. You’d meet up after work or on weekends, sneaking off to hidden corners of the city to spend time together. The theater was your favorite escape. There, you could lose yourselves in the drama unfolding on stage, only to create your own dramatic scenes afterward, both playful and passionate.

[...]

One chilly evening, you both found yourselves at the local theater, watching a comedy play. You sat next to each other, sharing a bag of popcorn and exchanging sarcastic comments about the actors’ performances. Seungkwan leaned over, whispering a joke in your ear, and you couldn’t help but burst into laughter, drawing a few irritated glances from other theatergoers.

“Shh, you’re going to get us kicked out,” you whispered, trying to stifle your giggles.

“Oh, please, like you can keep quiet,” Seungkwan shot back, a mischievous glint in his eye.

After the play, you both headed to the park. The night was cool, the stars shining brightly overhead. You walked side by side, occasionally bumping into each other on purpose. It was your little game, a way to provoke and tease.

“Bet you can’t catch me,” Seungkwan said suddenly, breaking into a sprint.

“Oh, you’re on!” you shouted, chasing after him.

You ran through the park, laughing and shouting, until you finally tackled him to the ground. You both lay there, panting and laughing, the world around you forgotten.

[..]

Your relationship was like a roller coaster. One moment you’d be laughing and joking, and the next you’d be bickering like children. Your friends found it amusing, but they also knew it could escalate quickly.

“Seriously, you two are like an old married couple,” Mingyu said one evening, watching as you and Seungkwan argued over who had won the last game of mini-golf.

“Am not!” you both shouted in unison, glaring at each other before bursting into laughter.

Despite the arguments, there was a deep connection between you. When you were alone, the bickering turned into something else entirely. The passion between you was undeniable, each encounter more intense than the last. You’d find yourselves in the most unexpected places, unable to keep your hands off each other.

[...]

One evening, after another heated argument, you found yourselves in Seungkwan’s apartment. The bickering had turned into something more playful, and before you knew it, you were kissing, the tension melting away.

"You're impossible, you know that?" you said breathlessly between kisses.

"And yet, here you are," he replied with a smirk, pulling you closer.

The night was a blur of passion. Your bodies moved together with a familiarity that came from months of secret meetings. You’d always been able to push each other to the edge, and tonight was no different. The intensity of your lovemaking was a stark contrast to the playful bickering that usually defined your relationship.

[...]

But just like you said. It could escalate quickly.

You and Seungkwan had always been able to handle your arguments with a playful edge, but this time was different. You didn’t even remember what sparked the fight, but the words that came out of his mouth stopped you cold.

“It was all a bet.”

You froze, staring at him in disbelief. “What did you just say?”

Seungkwan’s eyes widened as he realized what he’d said. “No, I didn’t mean—”

“You didn’t mean what? That this,” you gestured between the two of you, “was all a joke to you? A bet?”

“No, it’s not like that—”

“Then what is it, Seungkwan? Explain it to me!” Your voice rose, trembling with fury. “Because right now, it sounds like you’ve been using me this whole time.”

Seungkwan’s face paled. He reached out to you, but you stepped back, your anger intensifying. “Don’t touch me,” you snapped. “I trusted you. I thought this meant something.”

“It does mean something,” he insisted. “I swear, it started as a stupid dare from the guys, but then—”

“Then what? You decided you’d string me along for fun?” Your voice was loud now, echoing through the room. “Do you have any idea how humiliating this is? To know that I was just a game to you?”

Seungkwan looked panicked, desperate to make you understand. “Please, just listen. It started as a bet, but it’s not like that anymore. I care about you. I—”

“Stop,” you cut him off, tears of rage and betrayal filling your eyes. “I can’t believe I let myself fall for this. For you.”

The venom in your words made him flinch. “Please, don’t say that. I care about you more than anything.”

“Caring about me? Do you even know what that means? Because right now, it feels like you’ve just been laughing at me this entire time.” Your fists were clenched at your sides, your whole body shaking with anger.

Seungkwan took a step towards you, his own eyes glistening with tears. “I’m sorry. I never wanted to hurt you.”

"Fuck you, Seungkwan," you spat, pushing him back until he was sitting on your bed. He looked up at you, shocked and uncertain, as you began unbuttoning and unzipping his pants with trembling hands.

"What are you doing?" he asked, but his voice was weak, almost pleading.

You ignored him, pulling your panties off and straddling his lap, feeling his length harden beneath you. You started to grind against him, your movements hard, and fast. "It was a bet, huh? It was all a fucking lie, right, Seungkwan?" you snarled, your teeth gritted with rage.

His hands instinctively went to your hips, but he didn't try to stop you. "No, it wasn't like that—" he began, but you cut him off, swirling your hips hard, causing him to gasp.

"Fuck you," you repeated, your voice shaking. "You think you can just apologize and make it all better? You think you can just say sorry and I'll forget everything?"

Seungkwan's grip on your hips tightened, his breath hitching as you continued to grind against him. "I never meant to hurt you," he whispered, his eyes locked on yours, filled with regret and sorrow.

"Too late," you hissed, moving faster, your anger boiling over. "You already did." You could feel the heat building between you, the wet friction driving you crazy, but you were determined.

Seungkwan's face contorted with a mix of pleasure and anguish. "Please," he begged, "don't do this."

"Why not?" you shot back, your voice breaking. "You did this to us. You made me feel like a fool."

He tried to speak, but you silenced him with another hard hump, making him groan. "Just shut up, Seungkwan. Just shut up and take it."

As you continued to move against him, you could see the conflict in his eyes. He was torn between the pleasure you were giving him and the guilt he felt for what he'd done. It was a twisted form of revenge, but in that moment, it was all you had.

As you sank down on him, stretching yourself to take all of him inside, Seungkwan gasped, the air leaving his lungs in a rush. You gripped his hair roughly, yanking his head back. He hissed, the pain mingling with pleasure, making his eyes flutter shut for a moment.

"Who makes you feel like this, hm?" you taunted, your voice dripping with venom and lust. "Who else are you going to find out there that can do the things I do to you?"

Seungkwan's eyes were wide, filled with a mix of pain and desire. He tried to speak, but you cut him off with a harsh roll of your hips, drawing a guttural moan from his lips, he could only whisper a "No one." his voice leaving weak from the position you held his hair, head back. "Only you. Only you, please."

"That's right," you continued, your voice low and fierce. "No one. No one can fuck you like I do. No one knows your body like I do. No one else can make you beg like this. And you know it!"

You rode him harder, your movements fueled by a blend of anger and desperation. "Do you regret it, Seungkwan? Do you regret fucking with me?"

His hands gripped your hips, his nails digging into your skin as he tried to ground himself in the storm of sensations you were unleashing on him. "No!" he gasped, his voice strained. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

But you weren't done. You pulled his hair harder, making him look up at you, his eyes glazed with lust and guilt. "Sorry isn't enough," you spat. "You're going to remember this. Every time you try to touch someone else, you're going to think of me. You're going to remember how I made you feel. How no one else could ever compare."

Seungkwan's breaths were ragged, his body trembling beneath you as you continued to ride him with a furious intensity. "Please," he begged, his voice cracking. "Please, I can't—"

"You can't what?" you snapped, your pace relentless. "You can't handle it? You can't handle what you started? You're going to take it, Seungkwan. You're going to take every bit of it."

His eyes fluttered closed, his mouth falling open in a silent cry as he teetered on the edge of release. "Fuck, I'm going to—" he started, but you cut him off again, tightening your grip on his hair.

"You're not coming until I say so," you growled. "You don't get to have that. Not yet."

Seungkwan's body shuddered, his muscles straining as he fought to hold back. "Please," he whimpered, his voice barely more than a breath. "Please, let me—"

His lips parted, a moan escaping as you ground against him, your nails digging into his scalp. "I-I need you," he stammered, his voice cracking with desperation.

You leaned in closer, your breath hot against his ear. "Need me?" you whispered, your tone mocking. "You think needing me is enough? After everything?"

Seungkwan shuddered beneath you, his grip on the sheets tightening. "I'm sorry," he pleaded, his voice a mixture of pain and pleasure. "Please... I need you so much."

"Pathetic," you spat, pulling his hair harder, making him groan. "You don’t deserve me, Seungkwan. You don't deserve this." You punctuated your words with a sharp thrust, making him gasp.

His eyes were wild, filled with a mixture of regret and lust. "I know," he breathed, his voice barely audible. "But please... please don’t stop."

You felt a twisted sense of satisfaction at his desperation, at the way he was unraveling under you. "Remember that," you said, your voice low and dangerous. "Remember who makes you feel this way. Who owns you."

Seungkwan's breath hitched, his eyes wide and pleading. "I will," he promised, his voice a broken whisper. "I promise."

You could feel him getting closer, his body tensing beneath you. "Say it," you commanded, your voice a growl. "Say who you belong to."

"You," he gasped, his hips bucking beneath you. "I belong to you."

Seungkwan was prepared for the best orgasm of his life. He was trembling, his entire body on the edge of ecstasy, every nerve ending alive with sensation. As you rode him with unmatched ferocity, his breath came in ragged gasps, his chest heaving with the effort to keep up.

Tears pricked at the corners of his eyes, a mixture of pleasure and overwhelming emotion. He cried out loud, unable to contain the sheer intensity of what he was feeling. His voice cracked as he moaned your name, each syllable filled with a desperate longing.

His eyes were fixed on you, drinking in the sight of you above him, your body moving with a rhythm that drove him to the brink of madness. He fought to keep his eyes open, wanting to capture every moment, every sensation, every flicker of emotion that passed between you.

His legs quivered beneath you, his muscles straining as he struggled to hold on. But even as his body trembled with the effort, he knew he was powerless to resist. You were taking him to heights of pleasure he had never dreamed possible, and he surrendered himself completely to the overwhelming ecstasy coursing through him.

Seungkwan couldn't hold on anymore. The sensation of you clenching around him, the sound of your voice echoing in his ears, it was all too much. With a final, desperate cry, he let himself go.

His body tensed, every muscle straining as he reached the peak of ecstasy. He cried out your name, his voice raw with emotion, as he spilled himself inside you, the release so intense it bordered on pain.

You steadied yourself on him, feeling the rise and fall of his chest beneath you. Your head rested against the side of his, hiding your face from view as you waited for your nerves to calm down.

But then it hits you, the reality of what just happened, the anger and hurt resurfacing. You get off him, his cock slipping out of you, leaving you both feeling empty and exposed. Without a word, you start to dress yourself, your movements quick and determined. Seungkwan watches in desperation, his eyes wide with panic as he realizes what you're doing.

Seungkwan, sensing the shift in your demeanor, gets desperate. "Wait, what are you doing?" he asks, his voice tinged with panic. He sits up, trying to reach out to you, but you pull away, focused on gathering your things.

You walk to the living room, ignoring his pleas. "Please, just listen to me," he begs, following you. "We need to talk about this."

You grab your bag and turn to face him, your eyes cold and determined. "There's nothing left to say, Seungkwan," you reply, your voice steady despite the turmoil inside you. This...whatever we had...it's over."

[...]

On the week, you received multiple calls from Seungkwan – you didn’t answer any. Even his friends – who you suppose to be the ones who participated in the bet – called you, messaged you.

And now you are doing your dinner, didn't even have time to take off your work clothes, when you hear your doorbell. You dry your hands on the dish cloth, to open the door. It was Soonyoung. You frown, Soonyoung had contacted you during the week, but showing up at your door?

You lean on the doorframe, and ask him, "What are you doing here, Soonyoung?"

Soonyoung shifts nervously, his hands shoved into his pockets. "I know I called and messaged, but you never responded. I needed to talk to you in person."

You raise an eyebrow, crossing your arms. "About what?"

He takes a deep breath, looking genuinely distressed. "About Seungkwan. And the whole bet thing. You need to know it wasn't what you think. He didn't mean it like that."

You scoff, feeling the anger bubbling up again. "Didn't mean it like that? How else am I supposed to take it, Soonyoung?"

Soonyoung steps closer, his expression earnest. "It started as a stupid joke, but for Seungkwan, it changed. He fell for you, really fell for you. None of us thought it would turn into something real, but it did for him. He's been a wreck since you left."

You feel a pang of something – not quite guilt, but a heavy sadness. "So he sends you to do his dirty work? Why isn't he here himself?"

"He wanted to come, but I thought you'd slam the door in his face," Soonyoung admits. "He's been miserable. Just...can you talk to him? Please? Hear him out?"

You sigh, the weight of the week pressing down on you. "I don't know, Soonyoung. I'm still so angry."

"I get that," he says softly. "But just give him a chance to explain. If after that you still want nothing to do with him, then fine. But at least you'll have heard the truth from him."

You hesitate, the conflicting emotions warring inside you. Finally, you nod. "Fine. I'll talk to him. But this better not be a waste of my time."

Soonyoung's face breaks into a relieved smile. "Thank you. I'll let him know." He heads toward the door, pausing before he leaves. "And for what it's worth, I'm really sorry about everything. We all are."

You nod again, closing the door behind him. As you lean against it, you take a deep breath, trying to prepare yourself for the conversation ahead.

It didn’t even take twenty minutes after Soonyoung left for another knock to echo through your apartment. You sighed, already knowing who it would be. With heavy steps, you walked to the door and opened it.

Seungkwan stood there, looking disheveled and anxious. Normally, he would give you a hug, but he seemed to sense that this wasn’t the right time. Instead, he stood there awkwardly, respecting your space as you stepped aside to let him in.

You closed the door behind him, folding your arms defensively. “Soonyoung was just here,” you said, breaking the silence.

Seungkwan nodded, his eyes filled with guilt. “I know. He texted me. I came as soon as I could.”

You walked to the living room, sitting down on the couch, and gestured for him to do the same. He hesitated but then sat down, maintaining a respectful distance.

“I don’t even know where to start,” Seungkwan said, running a hand through his hair in frustration. “I’m so sorry, for everything. It was never meant to be a bet, not in the way you’re thinking.”

You raised an eyebrow, still skeptical.

He shook his head vehemently. “It started as a stupid dare, something the guys and I joked about. But from the very first moment I spent time with you, it stopped being about that. It became real, so quickly, and I didn’t know how to handle it.”

You looked away, the anger and hurt still fresh. “And you didn’t think to tell me? To be honest about it?”

Seungkwan sighed deeply. “I should have. I know that now. But I was scared of losing you. I was scared that if you knew how it started, you’d never believe how much you mean to me.”

The vulnerability in his voice made you pause. “Soonyoung said you love me,” you said quietly, not meeting his eyes.

“I do,” Seungkwan replied instantly. “I love you more than anything. I was an idiot for letting it get this far without being honest with you.”

You finally looked at him, searching his eyes for any sign of deceit. All you saw was regret and sincerity. “I don’t know if I can trust you again,” you admitted.

Seungkwan nodded, tears welling up in his eyes. “I understand. And I’ll do whatever it takes to earn your trust back. Just please, give me a chance to make it right.”

The room fell silent, the weight of his words hanging between you. Slowly, you began to nod. “Fine. I’ll give you a chance. But this is going to take time, Seungkwan.”

Relief washed over his face as he nodded. “Thank you. I promise, I won’t let you down.”

You leaned back on the couch, the exhaustion of the week catching up with you. Seungkwan stayed there, a respectful distance away, but his presence felt different now – more honest, more real.

As the minutes ticked by, you both sat there in silence, the first steps of healing beginning to take place. There was a long road ahead, but for the first time in days, you felt like maybe, just maybe, things could be okay again.

205 notes · View notes

vasyandii · 1 day

Note

I'm kicking my feet I love your oc Vernon! Let me pry though: have Vernon and AM ever kissed, or will they ever kiss? Also does AM enjoy the sensation of Vernon close to him or when she touches him, like in your art of her using him as an AC LOL

AAAAH Howdy howdy!! I'm so glad you like Vernon as I've worked real hard on her! Thank you so much for the ask! 💞💞 I will be answering these in reverse order!

VernonAM 🏺🖥️

Does AM enjoy the sensation of Vernon close to him/when she touches him?

I like to believe AM's come a long way with being touched. When he first transferred his consciousness over to his body, it was sensory overload. The WORST kind.

Everything was too loud, too quiet, he could smell EVERYTHING, everything was too hot, too cold, not hot enough, his mouth felt dry even with the saliva he had, how much it hurt feeling the air in his lungs, HE COULD FEEL HIS EYEBALLS IN HIS SKULL. It was like being born, it was awful. Like Nietzsche said; "To live is to suffer."

Vernon sat him down, trying to calm him since this is technically the first "human" she's seen after 109 years.

AM could feel every fold of his clothing rubbing against his skin, every microscopic fibre stabbing his skin. The residual warmth from Vernon touching him to sit him down so he wouldn't collapse caused AM to start screaming, sobbing.

Because he had no mouth (roll credits) prior to this, he didn't know how to use it to form words. He couldn't articulate what was wrong in his fit of screaming and tears.

And so his body went limp not 10 minutes after. He got out of there, telling Vernon that it's the closest thing he could compare to the torture he put on the other five. Vernon had to convince him to come back again or she'd tear the damn body apart and eat it.

It took months, baby steps of getting him adjusted in being a man. They spent weeks on smell, touch, and heat before they would even consider movement. It was tough on Vernon's end, smart as she is, she's a terrible teacher, asking AM to leave her alone for a few hours or days, lashing out when he's in such a vulnerable state.

But Vernon persisted, and finally AM got to hold her comfortably. Fast forward to now, AM has grown quite fond of the sensation of touch and touching things just for the sake of it. They could be sitting and he'd have it so their shoulders are touching.

AM is fond of Vernon's touch, that's the only time she's gentle (despite her words) with anything that might have the possibility of breaking. He enjoys her softness and warmth; How protective she is of him. AM can't articulate genuine care since his hatred for humanity is still there, but he's grateful, even despite his taunts.

Have AM and Vernon ever kissed? Will they ever kiss?

They kiss often, those two degenerates. It almost makes me jealous how often they kiss (D1 hater over here).

Vernon's technically kissed him before, just to get him comfortable, but it's never on the lips or near his face, usually his wrists and knuckles. Exposure therapy along with affection, basically. He didn't try to kiss her back until he was fully prepared to.

After fully adjusting to his new body, AM was finally able to kiss Vernon. He wasn't very good at it his first attempt. It was more similar to AM headbutting Vernon than an actual kiss.

Having a body gave way to a new emotion; embarrassment. Since he's now technically on the same level as her (in height as well, he's a lil dude) he was embarrassed that his first attempt didn't go as planned. When he didn't have a body, there was nothing to be judged, but now he does.

After brushing it off as him being curious and just feeling like headbutting her, AM didn't attempt to kiss her on the lips until he was sure he was ready.

Their proper first kiss was quite nice.

If you made it this far, thank you for reading my mad man words! I tend to ramble a ton, so if there's anything you'd like for me to clarify, feel free to tell me!

#VernonAM #Ihnmaims #am ihnmaims #vernon ihnmaims #i have no mouth and i must scream #vernon i have no mouth and i must scream #am i have no mouth and i must scream #allied mastercomputer #veomany vernon inthalangsy #art #digital art #artwork #original character #ihnmaims oc #oc x canon #oc x cc #fanart

119 notes · View notes

baby-silly-girlll · 1 day

Note

I wanna kidnap you when you’re walking home all alone. Tie you up with rope and throw you in the back of my car.

You’ll wake up many many hours later, tied to my bed and feeling all weird and sore in between your legs. Slowly you’ll understand, when I walk back in with my cock fully erect for you, that the warmth between your legs is the first of many, many loads I’m gonna force into your sweet little cunnie.

I’ll slap your face with my thick cock and tell you ‘feeding time’ as I force my cock into your mouth. I’ll hold your hair and you’ll cry around my cock as it violates your throat. I moan as I feel your tongue and throat is so warm and wet for me and I tell you that I’m sorry that I had to abduct you but you just looked so sexy. So slutty. Your little body was too tempting not to pick up and abduct.

I’ll keep forcing my cock into your throat and your tears will mix with your mascara, making you an absolute mess. I’ll slap your face with my hand while you suck my dick and then I’ll pull out of your mouth and rub that spit and drool all over your face. I’ll make sure you look like a fucking mess and I’ll lean in and say ‘that’s what a good dirty fucktoy looks like…’

I take off your clothes as you struggle, uselessly, against me & keep trying to push me off. So I slap you really hard on the side of your head and tell you to stop resisting or I’ll get really angry this time. There’s a bark to my voice that makes your little cunt start to leak and I notice it, mocking you for being such a filthy slut who loves pain. I slap you hard again and tell you that I’m sorry but you’ll never know freedom again, you’re now my cocksocket forever. Once I strip you down completely, I push your legs back and slap my cock on your cunt, it’s gushing wet from all the abuse but you whimper ‘no, please don’t… please stop I beg of you please…’ but I don’t listen. I slap my cock on your entrance once more and thrust into you and your dumb mouth betrays you, as you moan loud when I slam into you all the way. I choke you until you can barely breathe as I keep ramming into your dumb cunt, whispering about how you had to be such a tease, had to get me all worked up and want to put you in your place and abuse and use you.

So that’s exactly what I’m doing now, I’m using your holes and abusing you and you’re moaning for it. Look at you, enjoying being helpless. I could untie your restraints and you wouldn’t even dare to resist or run would you? Because you have always wanted this. You’ve always wanted to be kidnapped and taken by an older man. Here I am, you little slut. The man of your dirty wet dreams, forcefully fucking you. Feeling your cunt clench and unclench on my thick cock I know you’re gonna cum soon.

So cum, cum all over this thick cock. Lose your mind and your fake sense of entitlement. You are now nothing but a toy. Someone to take load after hot load of cum and live with me forever. You’ll never know freedom again, you’ll never want to hang with your family or friends again. I’ll let you go from here and you might attend school and graduate, but every day, you will come back to me. To cum for me. To cum on my cock like my good little cocksocket. Like a dumb little cock starved fuckpet. That’s because you know where you belong. You belong in service to a man who knows how to use and abuse you.

You’re just a set of holes to be filled, and nothing else. Another good girl broken by my cock. Another good girl, lost to her fantasies of an older man. Another good girl, used and ripped apart. Another good girl, cumming on her abuser’s thick cock as he pushes his load deep into your cunt, flooding you with his swimmers.

- T 😈

oh my god, it's so 🫠🫠🫠🫠

53 notes · View notes

2af-afterdark · 3 days

Text

The Cure That Ales You

Fandom: What in Hell is Bad? Content: Leviathan x gn!MC (you/your), dub/noncon A/N: You know, sometimes I want to be transported into the games I play because they are escapist fantasy for me, but, as an asexual, I am sometimes glad that I am not in WHB. MC is sex-happy and loves their situation (mostly) but… I just think of how awful it would be if they weren’t into sex or didn’t want to have sex with a particular person but they didn’t really have a choice in the matter since they literally need it to survive in Hell and refusal may either kill them or make them so ill they cannot keep their deal with Satan, which would kill Minhyeok. It’s kind of a shitty situation to be trapped in if you aren’t 100% up for sex with, well, anyone and everyone at any given time. So, you know. That’s what this fic kind of is. Consider this your warning. Word Count: 1003

You closed your eyes as you cradled your face in your hands. The sensation of nausea flooded your head and left your legs uneasy beneath you. Your stomach twisted and turned and rolled over itself inside your body. The world spun and twirled in random patterns around you, shapes faded in and out of view, and colors blurred with smells and textures.

This was the sickness that came with having your energy depleted to the point of concern. It was like being a wet clay jar, left to dry under the harsh rays of the sun to crack and chip until it couldn’t hold anything inside of it. Hell itself was tearing you apart because it knew you didn't belong.

Once the sickness was too much to bear, you stumbled and collapsed. The ground did not catch you. Instead, you fell forward into something firm. Through your hazy vision, you could just barely make out Leviathan glaring at you from over his shoulder as you held yourself up using him as a cane.

“Who said you could touch me?” He asked rhetorically with murder in his tone.

Despite his obvious anger, you were grateful that he insisted on walking in front of you as he dragged you from place to place. It had unknowingly put him in the perfect position to catch you.

“Sorry,” you mumbled as you tried to pick yourself back up.

Your efforts were for naught though, as attempting to push yourself up only had you stumbling anew.

No one – citizen or noble – ran to help you, despite your clear distress. If you had to guess, no one in Hades would dare to upset their envious lord by moving to assist you when it was clear that he was guiding you. Although, what he was really doing was dragging you along with him while you were in his kingdom because he still didn't trust to leave you alone.

You couldn’t see it through your blurry vision, but the judgment radiating from his stare burned holes through the very soul that felt like it was being torn apart inside of you.

He huffed in annoyance. “If you're low on energy, say so.”

You shook your head, regretting the decision immediately as a new wave of nausea overcame you.

“I’m fine.”

It was an obvious lie, but you could make it true. All you needed was to get back to Gehenna or Tartaros and one of the devils there would take care of you. Gehenna was home to the friendliest devils you knew whereas Tartaros’ residents were so devoted that sex with them was filled with laughter and smiles as well as pleasure.

“Do you think that because humans can lie in a way devils can't it means you can lie so blatantly?”

“No. I just-”

You couldn't finish your statement as Leviathan grabbed you around your hip and pulled you closer. If it was anyone but him, the gesture would also feel romantic. The one grabbing you was Leviathan though, so you knew his actions were about pulling you around and controlling you.

“I'm sorry. I’ll see someone to get energy.”

You weakly pushed against him but it did nothing.

“You don't need to go to anyone else. I'm already here.” His other hand snaked up your neck, gripping it tightly. “Bring us to your room.”

“I don't want-”

“What you want is irrelevant.” His coffin appeared out of the ground behind him. “We can go here if you prefer.”

It wasn't a genuine offer. Even in your inebriated state, you could tell that his words were a threat. Either you brought him to your special place – the illusionary realm given to you out of kindness by Satan that also served to remind you of why you fought so hard in Hell – or he would drag you into the same coffin that he had nearly locked you away in forever when you first met him.

Through your hazy mind, you brought him to your illusionary room. If you had to be brought somewhere, you would rather it be somewhere you were comfortable. His coffin was only filled with bad memories.

The pillow was soft beneath your head, though it offered no solace in your current state. Even lying on your back, it felt like you were going to fall through the bed and crash to the ground.

Unlike when you invited others to this space, you were careful to keep your clothing on. This wasn’t a passionate love affair or even a fun tumble in the sheets. The only way you could think of Leviathan was as bitter medicine.

Everything that happened – the hand that clawed down your torso to tear open your shirt and expose your chest, the knee that nestled itself between your legs to force them apart, his grip that tightened around your wrists and guided your hand to his throat – blurred together. You tightened your grip around his throat, trying to push against him to push him away from you. Even in your sickened state – feeling like you were being torn apart – you didn’t want him.

The haze in your mind was only matched by that in his eyes as you began to choke him. That expression reminded you of what he had said only moments earlier.

What you want is irrelevant.

He was terrible to know that he was right. No matter how much you protested, you were currently in a state that could generously be described as dying. Leviathan was the only one with you – although you could assume that Foras had been nearby as always. Whether you liked him or not, whether you wanted him or someone else, Leviathan was the only option you had if you wanted to get better; if you wanted to have the strength to keep your promise and free the devils of Hell.

So you turned your head to try and stare at the wallpaper you knew all too well to remind yourself why you were here at all.

#2af writes #what in hell is bad #whb leviathan #afab fic #cw dubcon #cw noncon

28 notes · View notes

cosmicjoke · 2 days

Note

Am I the only one who finds Erwin and Levi's relationship toxic?

I've read your discussions and I agree that in ACWR Erwin set up a plan to get Levi to join the SC that would get his friends killed. And even though Levi is betrayed when he learns of the intentions of this man he has blindly followed over time, and even though he realizes that the man he followed for his ideology does not serve that purpose, he still follows him. It's very disturbing that he follows him for no reason, even though he's following him for this purpose and even though he finds out that it doesn't serve this purpose, even though he has no reason to follow him, in a way. Did he wonder if he himself was part of this betrayal? Was the deaths of Farlan and Isabel also part of this plan? I would have given him the right to hold a grudge against Erwin just because of their deaths, but he doesn't even do that, let alone mention them once.

I think this is a failed character script and characterization

I will never understand why people romanticize it by saying they have a great relationship.

I agree that Levi's situation is really sad and I find it disturbing that he follows him despite all this.

Erwin didn't want Furlan and Isabel to die. I don't know why anyone thinks that. Yes, he endangered their lives by forcing them into a military unit that has an astronomically high death rate, and I'll agree 100% that Erwin's manipulation of Levi and his friends was the most morally wrong and unethical thing he ever did. But it wasn't his intention for them to die. He used them, undoubtedly, but Erwin isn't a sadist, and he isn't a bad person, despite his many, many flaws.

The thing that needs to be understood about Erwin is, he bought into his own line about fighting for the victory of humanity as much as anyone else. He convinced himself that's what he was fighting for, as a means of coping with the truth, which is that his true motivator was discovering the truth of the world to atone, basically, for the death of his father.

This self-delusion of Erwin's begins to unravel during the Uprising Arc, when for the first time, he does something that is counter to humanity's well-being, that being the military coup he enacts. And we see Erwin begin to spiral from there.

Levi trusted in and believed in Erwin so much because Erwin, in fact, WAS a great leader and DID have a far-reaching vision that allowed the Survey Corps to make more progress toward freeing humanity than any other leader in the SC's history. Levi never "blindly" followed Erwin. He took plenty of issue with Erwin's methods and approach as a leader. But he also trusted in Erwin to do the right thing because, up until the Uprising arc, he always had when it came to benefiting the greater good. He trusted in his abilities as a leader because he'd proven again and again to be someone worthy of that trust. It's why Levi thanks Erwin near the end of his life and tells him that it's thanks to him that they've made it as far as they have. That's the truth. The SC never would have made it to that point without Erwin's leadership and guidance.

Erwin began to sink into a mire of self-loathing and guilt (which in and of itself proves he never was some heartless, uncaring sociopath), and that colored his own perception of himself as somehow unworthy or undeserving of his role as Commander. But Erwin was never the bad person he believed himself to be. Yes, he was motivated by a selfish dream, but the moment that dream began to interfere with his actual ability to lead, we see Erwin start to fall apart and the self-loathing begin to consume him. If he was actually a bad person, he wouldn't have felt anything at all about it. He would have been a-okay with the dawning realization that he'd been selling people a lie this whole time to get them to sacrifice themselves. And it's also important to understand that Erwin, even though he wasn't able to completely let go of his selfishness, and he needed Levi to make the choice for him, he WANTED Levi to make the choice because he WANTED to do the right thing. He just knew he didn't have the strength to do it on his own. But the desire to do the right thing, even as he lacked the strength for it, is also proof that Erwin wasn't some horrible, evil man that was just out for himself.

Levi is a better person than Erwin. But then, Levi is an exceptionally good man. Most people aren't as good as him. It doesn't mean Erwin was a bad person, just because he wasn't as selfless as Levi.

Levi has a greater insight into people than basically any other character in AoT. He sees people for who they really are. And he saw a goodness in Erwin that Erwin couldn't see in himself. That's why he followed him. Erwin was flawed, and in some ways, weak, but ultimately, he cared and wanted to be the leader that everyone believed he was. Levi helped him become that leader.

Their relationship isn't romantic or "great", maybe, but it's important and meaningful and, ultimately, deeply poignant.

Again, this desire to see Levi "hate" Erwin for failing to be the perfect, ideal man is more projection than anything. People projecting their own lack of sympathy or empathy or compassion onto the most empathetic and compassionate character in the series. Of course you're going to be disappointed when Levi doesn't succumb to the same, vengeful mindset and petty grievances that most of us would.

#Levi Ackerman #Erwin Smith #anon asks

26 notes · View notes