Tumgik
#but that means i will then have to do the awkward small talk thing of 'hiiii lol we havent talked in like 2 yrs but do u remember-'
momowritings · 2 days
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K i l l i n g M e S o f t l y
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Pairing: Toji Fushiguro x Female Reader
Summary: It's hard to compete with a ghost. Especially when that ghost was Toji Fushiguro's wife.
Wrd Ct: 20k
tags: angstyyy, established relationship, complicated relationships, non curse au, vaginal sex, missionary, wall sex (?), oral sex (f receiving), breeding kink, DILF Toji, grief/mourning, Toji is trying to be a good dad to Megumi, Toji has a praise kink, mentions of mamagumi, open ending
Part One, Part Two
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Part Two
You managed to speak a grand total of five words from the time you got into bed with Toji to the moment you all sat in the car to watch Megumi board the train. Good night, good morning, and thanks. He wasn’t going to take more than he was given, but the way you even avoided his gaze was really getting under his skin. Both of his hands were glued to the steering wheel as he drove, and the music playing from the radio was the only thing to break the heavy silence in the car. 
When you all arrived at the station, you held Megumi in your arms, giving him a tight hug. “Don’t be a stranger, alright? Please take care of yourself. And take your vitamins!”
Megumi laughed. “I’m still going to visit on the weekends.”
“I guess that’s true. I’m impressed that you go to a top school but it sucks that you have to live there. I was hoping to push off this experience until you got to college,” you sniffed. Megumi gave you one of his signature soft smiles.
“I’ll call you, I promise.”
“Thanks, Megs, but also, have fun. I’m not trying to smother you.” 
Behind you and Megumi was Toji who watched you talk. Megumi caught his gaze over your shoulder. Toji gave you both enough space that you weren’t within earshot so Megumi could speak freely. 
“I know it’s not really my place to talk about it…. but my dad really likes you. And I like having you around too. Please don’t give up on him yet.” 
Megumi eyed his father again who was fiddling with the handle of his suitcase, trying his best to look unbothered. Toji has a lot of faults, yes, but Megumi could tell that he was trying. Megumi hated to think that a good thing for his dad was going to end so soon.
“I’m trying to be more understanding,” you said honestly. You turned your head to the side, looking at Toji out of the corner of your eye. “And I love your dad. You don’t have to worry about us, okay?” 
You patted Megumi’s head and Toji finally came up behind you, giving his son an awkward pat down that was supposed to be a hug.
“Study hard. Remember how I taught you how to hold a knife and how to use it. Don’t stay out too late.” 
“Thanks, Dad.” 
You snorted at the short exchange, and you and Toji both watched Megumi get on board. You waved until the boy was too small to see through the window, then stood quietly together. 
“I need to visit my friend later today. I’ll probably stay over there tonight.” 
Toji raised his brow at you. You were really determined to stay away from him. 
“This is the first time you mentioned this.”
You shrugged your shoulders and started to make your way back to the car. “I can’t predict when her ain’t-shit boyfriend is going to break her heart.” 
Toji frowned. It didn’t have to be a double meaning, but he felt like it was. “Do you want me to drop you off?”
“Hmm, no thanks. If anything happens while I’m over there I’d like to have my own car.”
“Right… Anything else?”
You stood in front of the car door he opened for you. With your eyebrows drawn together you shook your head. “Are you expecting anything else?”
“No. Let’s go.”
Halfway back home you took Toji’s hand just to hold. You didn’t say anything, and he didn’t ask any questions, but when you laced each of your fingers in between his heart calmed down. He brought the back of your hand up to give it a kiss. Toji was getting into his own head. Maybe you weren’t trying to avoid him. He still had the chance to fix this. 
When you got home you went right to packing your bag for your overnight stay. Toji watched you at the doorway, his arms crossed and his frown deepening. Not that he didn’t care for your friend but fuck did she have the worst timing. You folded over one of his hoodies to put in a duffle bag and he walked up behind you, carefully holding your waist to not break the delicate beads that you wore, and rested his head on your shoulder. You took a shower in the morning but he could still smell the shea butter scents on your skin. He took a deep breath in and sighed. You continued to fold clothes into your bag, trying to ignore his wandering hands that had your breath catching. 
“What am I going to do with you gone?”
“I’m sure you’ll find some home project that needs improving,” you snorted.
“I’ll miss you. I mean it.” 
You turned around to meet Toji’s eyes and wrapped your arms behind his neck. He gripped you even tighter, your back curving to his touch. He wondered if you could hear how fast his heart was beating in his chest. The idea of you staying mad at him before you left was eating him up and he needed the reassurance that you two were okay. 
“Want me to cook something for you before I leave? I can make your favorite.”
Instead of answering, Toji hovered his mouth over yours. The tip of his nose brushed your cheeks, deciding on which side he should tilt his head. With parted lips you both shared the same air, silently waiting for the other to take the first step. 
“Can I kiss you?”
You released a breathy laugh. “Since when did you start asking?” He held your chin with his thumb, and he dipped your head back to cover your lips with his. With a familiar hunger he gently pushed you on the bed, fumbling to get your bag on the floor without spilling all the contents inside. 
“Toji–” you mumbled into his mouth, trying to clear the fog that was in your head. You weren’t mad, not as much as you were in the morning at least, but this still wasn’t the best idea. Not without having a serious conversation. 
However, talking could wait after he was done working his tongue on you. 
Toji left red hot trails down your body, littering your neck and chest until he got disrupted by your clothes. He took off your top with ease, taking time to admire your bronzy skin before resuming his worship. He lapped at one nipple and rolled the other with his thumb and forefinger until you were squirming beneath him, just to switch off and continue the tortuous process. Toji didn’t stop until you were panting. You grabbed a handful of his hair to pull him off your breast to smash your lips on his mouth. 
You directed his hand to cup your sex, grinding shamelessly to get him to move on. Toji grinned in the middle of the kiss. He loved it when you dropped your reservations and started to want him in the same fashion. Your fingers scraped his scalp and he groaned, resuming his path down the hills and valleys of your body, stopping once he reached your navel to slowly slip off your shorts. He swirled his tongue over your belly button while removing your shorts and it sent a shock up your spine. 
“You’re always into weird shit,” you groaned. Toji couldn’t do anything other than chuckle. He’s still on the tip of the iceberg of all the things he wanted to do to you, but he would get you there someday. With your legs bared he could finally see how you were dripping wet for him. Ever the tease he sucked on his two middle fingers, taking them out with an obnoxious pop to drag them over your folds. You arched your back to his touch, breathlessly urging him to give you more. 
“I thought you always say that I rush it,” he smirked. His fingers glided over your sex, rubbing circles on your clit before dipping inside of your heat. You mewled, twisting underneath him, your chest rising and falling rapidly. “You could always stay home so it could last longer.”
“Je- ah! -Jess needs me,” you whimpered when his fingers curled against your spot that brought tears to your eyes while putting his thumb on your clit. Tears brimmed your eyes, a look that Toji enjoyed looking at and he climbed up again to kiss them away. He licked the salty liquid off of his lips, straying from your eyes so he could reach the junction of your neck. Toji continued to stimulate both spots, his fingers reaching deep inside of you and his thumb drawing out moans from you until you were kicking the sheets on the bed. 
“I need you,” Toji murmured in your skin. He was unsure if you heard him. You gazed at him with watery eyes but you were too overcome with your speeding climax to catch what he said. He dropped to his knees, dragging you to the edge of the bed and threw your legs over his shoulders. He left butterfly soft kisses on the inside of your thighs, his fingers grazing over your quivering thighs until you gripped his hair.
“Don’t you wanna make it up to me?” You asked in a husky voice. The edges of your sentence trembled with anticipation and a challenge. His eyes widened then darkened at your words. He couldn’t really tell what you were thinking. He hated that; being left in the dark and completely at your mercy. This was his chance to have you only focus on him and how good he could make you feel. 
Toji buried himself nose deep in between your legs, lapping up your arousal and you thrashed around in his tight grip, drenching his tongue with your come. Your thighs threatened to crush his head between your thighs. Toji didn’t mind it, only continuing his onslaught against your sanity. Your hips drew back away from him, looking for a break only for his mouth to follow incessantly. It wasn’t until you dragged his head out from your cunt that you got relief, but as soon as you did you still wanted more. 
You could taste yourself on his tongue when you pulled him up, the remnants of your orgasm evident, shiny on his lips and down his chin. You were on your knees on the bed, making you the same height as him, and with your mouths welded together you worked your hands to get him out of his pants. Toji stood painfully hard. The moment you started to stroke his hot length a guttural groan escaped his lips. You kissed his jaw and neck until you got to his shirt. 
“Take this off,” you ordered in a thick voice, and within the next second his shirt was flung to some obscure corner of the room. You harshly bit his shoulder  once you had access to his pale skin, then ran your tongue over the area to soothe it. 
“You know how to take care of me, baby,” you whispered in his ear, telling him exactly what he needed to hear. Over time you learned that Toji enjoyed the praise that fell from your lips, craved for it. His ears would take a fiery shade when you complimented him outside of the bedroom, so naturally it carried on inside of it as well. You took only a moment to break away to spit in your hand, mixing the saliva and precum that gathered to glide over him. You bumped noses with Toji to get him to focus on your face. He looked at you through his dark lashes and you focused more on his frenulum, making a tight circle right below his tip and his eyes rolled back into his head. His hand that rested on your hip had nails that dug into your skin. You thumbed his slit and spoke in his ear again. 
“You’ve always been good to me,” you murmured. “Just take me like you mean it.”
You were on your back once again, pressed deep in the sheets with Toji deep in you. Every attempt to say his name was lost by his movements. Toji fucked you just as you asked, leaving no room for you to doubt him. He was rough, pushing you into different positions that made his length reach the end of you, his mouth sloppily covering yours until you were gasping for air. When he flipped you on your stomach, Toji’s unabashed moans went directly in your ear, fucking you through another orgasm out of you with his hand squeezing the front of your neck. He twisted, bit, and sucked your nipples so much prior that the collapsed position on the bed made them hypersensitive against the sheets. The tears rolling down your face attested to it. Your hands were clawing at the sheets from the overwhelming sensations. 
Toji wondered if you could feel the desperation coursing through him. The apologies he wasn’t good at, the sincerity, the need he has for you, his love. He hoped it all translated well with every touch even if it was rough around the edges. It wasn’t until you were shaking again, your cunt messy from another climax that his strokes shortened. Toji threaded his fingers through your hand that was outstretched above your head, and you latched onto him like a lifeline. You cried out when he slammed into you one last time, painting your insides white. 
He was resting in you, barely holding himself up to keep from crushing your frame completely. You shook off his hand that was holding him to snake it up to the back of his neck, pulling him down to your side for one last kiss. It was salty from sweat and tears yet sweet, clumsy, and reassuring. You were clearly tired, and he was still inside of you, but you were no longer in a rush to leave. You deflated back into the bed and Toji got up to get a wet cloth to wipe you down. Once you were clean he laid beside you and you gave him a sleepy smile, your eyelids half open. 
“You win, for now. I’m too tired to go anywhere right now. Wake me up in an hour,” you murmured, already falling asleep by the end of your sentence. You looked so peaceful when sleeping, like all was well and there were no problems between the two of you. Toji wished that he could sleep untroubled in the same manner, but all he could do was watch you drift away with his arms around you.
~*~
Toji stared at his empty phone after he got off of a call with you. You had just let him know that you were at your friend’s house, and Megumi was away doing school stuff, so he was alone on a weekend, something that hasn’t happened in a very long time.
He poked at the device, his mind wandering. There were things to do, he would find something to do, but instead he typed in “therapists near me” in the search engine. It couldn’t be that bad. You were right, he never officially went through a grieving process, whatever the hell that meant. His wife died and the next ten years were a blur. He happened to run into his son and Megumi didn’t even know who he was. He never knew how much he looked like his mother and it snapped something back into place in Toji’s brain. All he knew is that he had to fix what he ruined all those years ago.
The fixing was still in process, and Megumi lets him off the hook way more than he fucking should, but maybe that’s why the mistakes and dreams were happening so often. Toji got his son back, he found you, and his life was… normal. It was something that he wanted since he was a child, but it came only after her death. His stormy life has finally become calm and now he has to sift through the broken pieces left behind. 
Toji turned off his phone after reading reviews of a counselor. They all seemed full of shit. Clients talked about their feelings for a month and suddenly they were doing a lot better? Right. The feelings he had will pass, they always do. He didn’t need someone to tell him that what happened all those years ago fucked with his mind. The gap in his memory was a clear indicator already. He didn’t want to go poking around there either. 
After long deliberation Toji decided to go to a bar he used to frequent in the beginning of the relationship. The both of you became homebodies the longer you dated, but after he brought you there the first time it was the one place he found that the two of you could agree on going first and letting the night play out after when you weren’t to sure on what else do to for date nights but wanted to get out of the house. Upon entering and taking his section on the counter the familiar face of one of the bartenders came to serve him. With a smile without words she immediately started to prepare a cosmo for him out of habit, because it was something you ordered. Toji had to stop the bartender once he realized what she was doing. 
“She’s not with me tonight.”
Her eyes went wide with surprise. The only woman Toji continually had around him was suddenly no longer here. Toji could see the stories building up in her head and immediately put a stop to it. 
“She’s out with her friend. Girl’s night.”
“Ah, that makes sense. I was worried there for a second,” the bartender giggled. “Just water for you still?” 
“Actually, I’ll have a glass of whisky. Neat.”
Once again the eyebrows on the bartender almost touched her hairline. He has never taken a sip of alcohol no matter how many times he stepped foot inside of the bar, no matter what sugary concoction you ordered, so she never thought she’d see the day. She snapped out of her astonishment when Toji gave her an annoyed stare and quickly made his glass. She slid it over to him and he drank it in a flash. 
“Another one,” he ordered, and gingerly she took the glass. 
Toji eyed the TV overhead, half listening to the program playing when he heard a familiar voice come from beside him. The bartender handed him his second glass when the guest guffawed at Toji. 
“I didn’t think I would ever see you again.” A sharply dressed Korean man slipped into the seat next to Toji at the bar and it made him gawk for a second. As always, a cigarette hung from the other man’s lips, unlit and carefully balanced. His tie that he usually wore was nowhere around his neck, and the top buttons of his shirt were undone.
“Well you did say the only time you ever want to see me again is in hell,” Toji remarked after the moment of unexpectedness passed. 
“That I did say. Almost thought I died for a second.” Toji gave the man a side eye, then they both let out wry laughs. 
“What are you doing here, Shiu?” 
“Nothing you’re interested in. I heard you retired.”
“Heard right,” Toji grunted. He stared down his glass and downed the rest of the ambery liquid. It stung on the way down, but he was on the third glass and still didn’t feel any buzz like he had hoped. Drinking never did much for Toji. He didn’t know why he thought tonight would be any different.
“Never thought I’d live to see the day.” Shiu shook his head in disbelief. He worked with Toji when he was at his lowest for years doing unsavory business. He knew that he was dealing with a broken man, someone who would take anything that was given to him because it would be better than working with his blood relatives, so when the news finally got around to him he couldn’t believe that Toji finally decided to stop working underground. He had a hard time imagining what Toji could do anywhere else. Seeing him in the flesh, alive and relatively well was a sight to behold. 
“Usually I wouldn’t pry because it’s none of my goddamn business, but I’m feeling a little loose tonight. What made you leave? What do you do now?”
Toji waved down the bartender to fill his glass once again, and he gulped the drink down with a sigh before answering. “I got my kid back and I teach other spineless fuckers how to defend themselves for a living.” 
Shiu gave him an incredulous look. “Megumi lives with you? And you just help people now?”
“Yeah. Why do you look like that’s impossible for me to do or something?”
“The last time I asked you about your kid you didn’t even remember his name and you used to blow people’s brains out for cash. Sorry if I find it hard to believe,” Shiu chuckled. 
“Better believe it.”
“So what’s the problem? I find you here after all this time, drinking when you told me before that it has no effect on you. The only other thing that made you this way was lady issues.” 
Toji ran his finger over the edge of his glass silently. If Shiu wasn’t being annoying before, he was now. 
“Seriously? You? You married again? Third time’s the charm,” Shiu winked.
“I’m not married.”
“If she’s not your wife then why the hell are you moping around like this?”
“Fucking hell, Shiu. I like you better when you don’t talk.” 
“Suck it up. You’ve piqued my interest.” 
Shiu finally lit the cigarette that he held in his lips and called the bartender over for his drink. After a long drag, Shiu released the smoke. It billowed up in front of both of the men, its tendrils grazing Toji’s face that made his nose itch. 
“So you got a woman. She’s not your wife but what, you’re thinking about marrying her? Being nervous about that kind of thing is not something I believe would bother you so no, that’s not it. But maybe it is. Maybe marriage isn’t the problem right now, but it will be pretty soon. And seeing how you suddenly got soft, a fight that you guys had is shaking you up. You’ve always been pretty attentive to the few women in your life that you actually liked outside of a place to sleep.”
“Shut the fuck up,” Toji gritted. 
 “Right on the money,” Shiu smirked. “I happen to like you more when you don’t take yourself as seriously. So what is it? She must be terrible and won’t let you do anything or you guys are fighting all the time and you’re starting to think it’s not worth it.” 
“Neither. Believe it or not, I’m the problem.” 
“I figured. I was just trying to be on your side for a little bit.”
Toji stared down at the empty cup as he spoke. The words were moving faster than the ability he had to actually process what he was admitting to. It seems like all the drinks were finally catching up to him. He confessed everything before he could bring himself to shut up. 
“We’ll be doing great, her and I, and then Megumi’s mom starts showing up again. She lurks in my mind, haunts my dreams, creeps into our lives. I'm calling my late wife’s name instead of her and it’s breaking her down. She doesn’t even want to be around me right now.” 
It was so silent between them that Toji had to look up to Shiu. He had the stick between his fingers, the ember smoldering and Shiu’s eyebrows were raised for the umpteenth time. 
“Of all the things you could have said, I wasn’t expecting that. Could you blame the girl?” “Why do you think I’m here?”
“Give her some time to cool off but you fucked up.”
Toji tried to wave the bartender over once again but Shiu stopped him. Toji gave him a hard stare, one that could kill a man if the man wasn’t Shiu. 
“I know you don’t do this often but you will be shit faced if you keep that up. Leave now while you can still walk in a straight line.”
“Yeah right.” Toji shrugged him off. He didn’t feel that much different, but he took Shiu’s advice. He left a hefty tip in his place and left the bar, getting in his car and driving on autopilot until he suddenly was in front of a graveyard. Toji hasn’t been here before, even the day that they buried her. He was just told the location and avoided it at all costs. 
Your voice rings in his ear again, telling him that he could talk to you about his wife if it made it easier. It still baffled him how he managed to find someone as understanding as you when he didn’t even have the balls to attend the funeral. Her grave was, as expected, large, gray, and cold. He stood in front of it, not saying anything, dusting off the leaves that piled on the top of the stone. 
“I met someone new,” he started, shocking himself but he kept going. “I think you’d like her. She’s like you in some things, completely different in others.” 
Wind blew through Toji’s hair and he realized that he left his jacket in the car. Or maybe at the bar. He hoped that wherever you were you had a jacket. You got cold so easily, your fingers turning to icicles at the slightest temperature drop. 
“I’m taking care of Megumi the best way I can. I fucked up in the beginning, almost ruined everything, but he’s a great kid. All his best qualities are from you.” Toji sighed and looked up at the starless sky. There was no moon either, just an expanse of darkness that stretched in all directions. A helicopter with blinking lights passed through his vision, breaking the sea of black.
“I love her. You’d probably say some shit like you want me to be happy, and I’m trying to be. It’s harder than it looks,” Toji huffed out a dry laugh. He looked back at the grave.
“Thank you.”
~*~
When you showed up to Jess' place she was exactly how you expected her to be; angry. She had heavy metal music blaring through her speaker so loud you worried for her neighbors. She was actually in a much better mood than you expected. Before when she had first broken up with her boyfriend (along with the second and third time), you were welcomed to big, soppy tears running down her face and a handful of tissues clenched tight in her fist. You guessed that with each breakup Jess hardened her heart more until there were no more tears left to give and only anger remained.
You let her get her emotions out, tidying up the place while she told you every shitty thing her boyfriend did, things that you had said that he was going to do because you already knew that he was bad news, until she was out of breath from screaming and talking and finally sat down on the couch with you. 
“Feeling better now, babe?”
Jess held a pillow in front of her and her face was obscured by it, her answer coming out muffled. “No.” 
“But you will be. He was only holding you back,” you reassured. 
“Yeah. Sure. Whatever. I hope he falls in a ditch somewhere.”
“Me too,” you said, handing her a wine glass and you both sat in silence for a few beats. You were lost in your thoughts full of Toji when Jess called out your name. 
“Your boyfriend– his last name is Fushiguro, right?”
“Yeah, why?”
“I was talking to a client today. More like listening in on his conversation. Real sick fucker, kept calling all the girls sluts and whores, and not in a cute way. Unfortunately, he wanted me to dance for him in the booth, and I heard him talk about Toji. I mean, I don't know about you, but I don’t think that there’s that many Toji's out there. Anyway, this blond motherfucker keeps talking about trying to find a way to bring Toji back into the family. Whether he means that literally or it’s some yakuza shit, I don’t know. What I do know is that he said that he wished he knew if Toji was with anybody so that they can use them to bring him in. Obviously your Toji’s girlfriend now, and you mentioned that he used to have a wife. I just thought it was strange. This guy’s last name was Zen’in though. He mentioned it like, 50 times. I think he’s supposed to be important.”
“It’s gotta be some type of coincidence.”
“Yeah, I fucking hope so. Do you really know Toji? I mean blondie was a bitchboy but the other guys he was surrounded with… I don’t know. If it is your Toji, he’s dangerous.”
“… Toji isn’t like that.”
Jess gave you a hard stare. Neither of you believed the lie you were trying to convince yourself of. You knew that Toji must be a lot more dangerous than he let on, but it seemed to be in the past. 
“Anymore! Whatever he did before he met me is none of my concern. He has a kid that he’s very devoted to and he’s been… well he says that he loves me. I just have to trust him.”
“Right, until he gets you killed.”
“Jess!”
“Don’t shoot the messenger! I’m not wishing any harm on you, just be careful.” 
“Oh wow thanks for putting that thought in my head,” you sarcastically grumbled. You huddled yourself in a small ball on her couch and didn’t notice Jess studying you intensely. 
“So what’s up with you?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean you barely talked about Toji since you came in.”
You gave you a pointed look. “You called me on the phone crying that you're finally over your boyfriend and I’m supposed to talk about mine?”
“True… but this feels different. You didn’t even bring him up in passing. You’ve said nothing about Toji.”
“Right now it is about you, love.” It was a dodgy answer, both you and Jess knew it, and she stared you down until you cracked and told her what had happened the night before and everything preceding it. She winced at the mention of Toji’s late wife the same time you did and went into deep thought. 
“So how are you feeling?”
“Like an asshole. I know it’s really not his fault.”
“You have been dating for how long now?”
“Gonna be six months pretty soon.”
“Six months? You’re better than me,” Jess side-eyed you. 
“He was married. That’s a big deal.” You didn’t even know why you were getting defense for Toji. It’s been bothering you too, a lot more than you let out to him. Now you felt like you actually had a reason to pull back instead of it all being in your head. 
“Married yeah, but been with you for a while now. You’d think he’d try not to mix you up. What if… what if you’re a replacement? Like he doesn’t actually see you. ”
The thought has crossed your mind before and you fell into a deep silence. If you had been asked this just a few weeks ago you would’ve confidently been able to say no. However, now… now it seemed totally plausible. 
“You could remind him of his wife so much and that’s why he likes you.”
“Stop,” you muttered, but Jess didn’t hear you. 
“I know you don’t know anybody who was close to her but what if you two look alike? What if—“
“Shut up! What is wrong with you?” 
“I was just saying—“
“It’s his late wife, and I’m not anything like her.” Your voice was cold and heavy, settling in the air with a deadly finality. Jess was stunned, but then she gave you a saddened smile. 
“You don’t know that, but you’re right, I'm meddling again. You know what we should do? Go out. I’m tired of being the entertainer, I want to be entertained.” 
You were grateful for the change of sec energy after the conversation, even if you had to get ready in a whirlwind. Jess put you in one of her dresses and you were glad that you two were similar sizes and styles. You choses a simple silk dress that went down just past your knees with a high collar but an open back. Jess, who never gave up the chance to show off her legs, donned a plum dress with a halter neck and a skirt that flared and stopped mid thigh . Low yet stylish black heels were clad to both of your feet, as you decided that you would take a taxi and walk to the club instead of trying to find parking with your car. To your surprise Jess chose a jazz club, and music poured from the open door down the street, soothing and flowing like honey that calmed your soul. Immediately you thought of how you would love to go here again with Toji and you shook the thought out of your head. 
“I'm here with Jess,” you muttered to yourself. 
 Jess turned around and cocked her head to the side. “Did you say something?”
“No. Nothing. Let’s head inside.” 
“Are you sure you’re okay?” 
The night was supposed to be about Jess, and you weren’t going to let her focus on you like this. You dragged her inside of the establishment, your eyes adjusting to the dimly lit space covered in a thin veil of smoke. You couldn’t hear it from the sidewalk, but now inside here was a woman singing on the stage. The embodiment of old Hollywood, a silver sequined dress glittered on her smooth, caramel skin as she sang romantically into the mic. Her body swayed side to side, getting lost in the music, drowning in it, and you wished that you could be absorbed by the melody like she was. 
It was Jess’s turn to drag you around since you fell into the trance of the singer, and she chose a booth tucked away on the wall. You still had a great view of the stage, but close enough to the bar.
Jess went to do her thing, standing at the bar and sitting pretty and batting her eyes to the people around her. It didn’t take long for a drink to be offered to her, and it worked like a charm every single time. You had thought that was the case for you as well when a strawberry margarita was brought to you at the table by a waiter, but when they pointed in a direction opposite of Jess you were more inclined to search for the sender. 
A familiar face, or rather faces, gazed back at you. White tufts of icy hair, crystalline blue eyes peering about black circular shaded, and a million watt smile flashed at you while the other face had dark pupils and sharper eyes, but a comforting grin you knew well. 
You waved for Satoru Gojo and Suguru Geto to come over to your section with a wide smile. 
“Satoru? Suguru? What are you guys doing here?”
You stood up to hug the both of them and inspected their faces. It has only been a few years since you last saw them in college. Gojo’s hands remained on your back while Surugu gave you a recap of the last few years without you. Just then, Jess came back with two drinks in her hand and a confused look. You quickly introduced her to your old friends. 
“Jess! This is Suguru and Satoru… I met them back in college,” you explained. As soon as Suguru’s name left your mouth Jess zeroed in on him with a seductive stare. 
“So you're one of her friends. I was afraid that I was the only one she got,” Jess purred. She didn't even bother with Satoru, only giving him a quick nod of acknowledgement before giving her undivided attention back to Suguru. 
“It looks like you’ve been taking good care of her,” Suguru praised, returning the interest with his own heavy gaze. When he took Jess’s hand you couldn’t believe your eyes. You lost your friend to Suguru the moment he opened his mouth. Turning to Toru instead, you pulled him down to sit next to you. 
“While they do that over there,” you said, “Tell me what’s been going on with you! Are you still drinking straight sugar for the hell of it?” “Ha-ha,” Satoru laughed dryly. A bright smile was still plastered on his face. You took him in full, his casual black t-shirt and thighs clad with dark washed jeans, and his signature black frames pushing up his hair and framing his face. He wore a fresh and sweet smelling cologne that even you would get. On the outside, Satoru seemed great. However, you’ve known him for a long time, managed to become someone who he cared enough about to call a friend and you took the title seriously. You knew how well he hides his emotions because he’d rather keep things light. He did it extremely well that sometimes it was hard to tell what exactly could be wrong. 
“Stop psychoanalyzing me before you burn holes through my head. 
“That’s my line, high beams.” you shoved him with your shoulder. “I just feel like we never talk anymore. I’ve missed you.”
A sly smile crept over his face. “Told you that America wasn’t all that. You just had to learn it the hard way.” “Yeah, you’re right there.” You took large gulps of your drink until it was finished and sighed. Gojo raised his brow.
“What’s that about?”
“Ask me after my third drink,” you said, calling the waiter over. 
“Drinking away your woes has never worked for you. In fact, I remember when you drank so much you got confused and said that I was kidnapping you.” 
You threw your head in your hands. “That was one time!” Heat started to creep up your face as Gojo recounted all your embarrassing drinking moments. 
“One time? Maybe the kidnapper thing, sure, but then there was the time that you broke down sobbing, and I mean big fat tears rolling down your face, at a deer just crossing the road. You tried to take it home with you.”
You groaned but there was humor in it. You’ve seen the videos of how you act around animals, and Gojo was never too far, oftentimes scooping you up to take you home since you could barely walk. He kept good care of you whenever you went out. 
“Suddenly you think that every animal is the most beautiful creature in the world and you get sad that they don’t know that.” “It’s true. There’s only eight species that can identify themselves in the mirror.” “Of course you know that. Nerd.”
“Shut up,” you laugh. “I’m the nerd while you have an electrical engineering degree?”
“Would geek fit better? You’re the one who becomes a hyper vigilant Snow White when you get drunk, spewing animal and space facts just cause.” 
“I’m not gonna stop drinking and I'm not apologizing. I give you valuable information whether you know it or not,” you shrug. Your next drink was brought to you, and you tried to drink it a little slower through the straw. It didn’t work, as you were suckling on it faster than expected as Gojo caught you up on his personal life. He always amazed you with all the projects he had going on simultaneously. It made your head spin, but you held deep respect for him. For the care free act he put on he was incredibly considerate of those who were younger than him, and always ready to challenge those above him if he thought they were out of line. You envied Satoru’s assertiveness, and when you finally got to your third drink, he asked you what was wrong once again. 
“Just silly relationship stuff. I’ll get over myself soon enough,” you tried to wave him off. Your tolerance was nothing like it was during college, and your words were starting to slow and crash into each other. You nursed the drink close to your chest and Satoru sighed. He pulled it out of your hand, resting the glass on the table while you whined. 
“Toruuuu, stop.”
“Tell me what’s really wrong. You get everybody to talk about their feelings and shit but you want people to overlook yours.” 
“It’s nothing to worry about,” you mumbled.  “I came out tonight to forget about the whole thing.”
On the floor Suguru and Jess swayed in each other’s arms, whispering in each other’s ear and giggling. He looked at her with such adoring eyes, something much deeper than the lust you first saw. Jess was a bubbly mess in his arms but she was enjoying herself. When his back was facing you she gave you an ecstatic look, mouthing a “thank you” that made you smirk. 
You could never get Toji to dance with you. Said it wasn't his thing, and after a couple times of asking and being rejected you dropped the matter altogether. It didn’t make you want to dance any less, it hurts all the same. Gojo saw you looking at all the couples circling around and slid out of the booth. He offered you his hand, and you raised your brow suspiciously. 
“What? You don’t like dancing anymore?”
Gojo wasn’t Toji, and you have never compared them in your mind ever before, but in that moment you had wished that Toji would be a little bit like him. You took Toru’s hand and he took you to the small dance floor, twirling you around to the song. You barely caught the lyrics, but it was a sweet melody about first love. You rested your cheek on Gojo’s chest and he carried the tempo of your dance. 
“Thank you, Satoru,” you muttered, sure that he didn’t hear you. But he did, and he leaned back to look down at you with concerned eyes. 
“I haven't done anything yet. What did your boyfriend do to you?”
Your bottom lip wavered to answer, ready to spill your troubled heart’s concerns when the slow song ended and an upbeat instrumental song started to play. Trumpets were introduced, charging the air with electricity and everybody on the floor started to dance more vigorously. Your face lit up, already forgetting what you were about to say and you twisted and spun around with Gojo, matching the beat, flowing to the rhythm, laughing just as happily as the music sounded. You only went back once to finish off your drink, and you danced until your feet were throbbing. Before Jess left the dancefloor she winked at you and told you that she would be leaving with Surguru, giving you a sly smile. Gojo offered to take you home, and drunkenly you agreed. 
You sang badly to the radio on the drive back to your place, basically yelling songs into Satoru’s ear but he joined in with you, singing right back to you. He matched your energy until you were dissolving into a fit of giggles from singing lyrics entirely backwards. When reached your home Gojo held your heels and bag in his hands while you tiptoed across the stones to get to the front door. 
“Bag please!” 
“Still have manners even when you're drunk,” Gojo laughed. He held your purse open for you to rummage through. You were both looming over the purse and accidentally bumped heads. Gojo’s hand immediately went to rub your forehead instead of his own and you nervously giggled. 
“Careful. You could’ve given me a concussion with that hard head of yours,” he teased.
“Oh fuck you,” you laughed. Your eyes were trapped by his until his lips became the prettier picture. Always pink and plush, you started to drift closer to his face until you finally got some sense. 
 “God Satoru, why did you have to come back now?” You tore your eyes away from his lips and shoved your face in his shoulder. Gojo wasn’t going to stop you from kissing him. He should have if he was a better man. However, he has always wanted to be with you, and you never gave him the chance, so he would’ve taken anything you gave him. Now that he has settled down, he would have been your boyfriend. 
He spoke first to break the silence. “Do you have a headache?” 
“No… I should get my keys now. I’m cold,” you mumbled. 
You couldn’t find your keys in the bag, and you patted yourself down as if you had them in your pockets but you were wearing a very pocketless dress. He could already see the tears forming on your lash line and wanted to soothe you. 
“What if they're at Jess’ place?” Satoru said to calm you down. 
“Why would Jess steal my keys? I thought we were friends?” You were about to start crying. Just then, the front door opened, and Gojo was greeted by a face he never thought he’d see again. 
“Fushiguro?”
“Toji!” 
You jumped in Toji’s arms and he caught you with ease. He came to the front door because of all the noise he was hearing. Never would he had thought that it was Sataru fucking Gojo and his woman bickering outside. 
“Toji I missed you so much. I sent pictures. Did you see them?”
“Yeah. I saw them. You’re gorgeous.” Each word came out with daggers thrown in Gojo's direction.
Toji’s grip on your waist got tighter as you peppered his face with kisses, his stare unbroken from Gojo’s. The first and last target that he wasn’t able to kill all those years ago came back to bite him in the ass. Of course you of all people knew who Gojo was. Gojo looked at the scene like he walked into an alternate universe. You were with Toji. Toji was with you. This was the man that had you moping at the club. 
“Thank you, Sa–Satoru,” you hiccuped. “Don’t be a stranger.”
“You do the same. And let me know if you have any other relationship issues you want to talk about,” he smirked to Toji, and the other man scowled. 
“I told you, it’s nothing,” you said in a sing-song voice. “I’m really sleepy now.”
“I bet you are,” Toji said in your ear. Toji gave Gojo one last look. There was no real emotion on his face anymore. Satoru was only able to thinly veil the annoyance in his voice when Toji dismissed him. “Let’s go to bed.” 
Once inside you led Toji to the bathroom, stripping down naked and stepping straight into the shower. You beckoned him to join you, and he grabbed your shower cap that you forgot so you don’t get your hair wet. Toji took the washcloth from your hands, wanting to wash you himself. This was routine to him, something that made him feel calm. You had the faint smell of alcohol and cigarette smoke lingering on your skin, yet there was still your natural scent of you underneath. He kissed your shoulder, turning you back into the spray of the water, and you peered up at him. You brushed his hair out of his forehead to see him clearly. 
“Did I mention how I missed you?” You giggled. 
“I missed you too, doll.” 
Toji lifted your chin up to look at him. His thumb rubbed the flat surface right below your lip and he kissed you softly once. It wasn’t even a whole day since you were gone and he had missed this feeling more than you could know. The touch of your lips was enough to get him hard, and it was starting to show. 
“I’m never gonna drink again,” you groaned, dropping your head into his chest. “Thank god I don’t have work tomorrow.” “You’re really lucky,” he mumbled. “How do you… who was that guy?” 
You took your washcloth out of his hand and grabbed his own. After lathering it with soap you started to scrub him down, admiring his body in the lowlight.“What guy?” 
“That guy that brought you home,” Toji said through clenched teeth. 
“Toru? He’s just a friend.” 
You even had a nickname for him. 
“Just friends? Since when?” Toji hated the way he sounded. It was needy, prying, totally unlike him. He shouldn’t give a damn, you were back in his arms, going to sleep in his bed. Why couldn’t he just let it go?
“Since uni. We weren’t in the same college but our friend groups overlapped.” 
“That’s it?”
You slowed the way you washed him. The questions started to feel more loaded, and you were sobering up. Your eyebrows were drawn together when you answered. 
“I mean, yeah? I never dated him, if that’s what you’re trying to get at.” 
“I thought you went out with Jess.” Not a question this time, yet the air felt heavier. You were aware of how cold the water was when you usually like to take hot showers. 
“I was with her. She wanted to go to this jazz club and we met up with friends. Jess left with a guy and Toru took me home.” 
“Isn’t he such a great guy,” Toji said through clenched teeth. “So instead of calling me you climbed into some bastard’s car, drunk , at one in the morning.” 
“He’s not just some guy, Toji. I’m sorry, I should’ve called you but I know him.” 
“That’s what you think,” Toji scoffed. 
You scoffed right back at him, now crossing your arms over your chest. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” 
Toji was getting too emotional. He tried to grab the washcloth out of your hand but you stopped him. You both gave each other hard stares with anger seeping into both of your expressions. Toji already spoke too much, ready to let it go, but you were just getting started. 
“You can’t just move past that. What’s the problem this time?”
Toji rolled his eyes. “You make it sound like I always have a problem.” 
“I wouldn’t know, you never tell me anything,” you fired back. 
“There’s no problem. We’re wasting water.” 
You turned the faucet so the shower stopped then stood your ground. This was a side of you that Toji didn’t see often. The stubborn one, the immovable object against his usually unstoppable force. He would be on the sidelines when this happened, watching you deal with family members or other people outside with this unwavering spirit that wouldn’t back down, but now it was turned on him. 
“There. Water’s not wasting. You want to get something off your chest? Say it.” 
“I just didn’t think I’d have to tell you to call for me if you wanted to come home. I know your phone wasn’t broken because you sent me pictures. I expect you to tell me where you’re going and call me when you want to leave. I think that’s the least you can fucking do,” he said through gritted teeth.
You pinched your eyebrows together. “I was drunk Toji, and it was a quick decision that really doesn’t mean anything.” In the back of your head you knew that you sounded like a hypocrite. What he was asking wasn’t a hard request. In fact, it was the very same thing you had asked of Toji when you first started to date. Toji would just up and disappear for hours. Granted, you could always find him at his dojo or in his garage, but he never told you that. You didn’t want to know every little thing that he was doing but a general “I’m okay” would suffice. You knew this, yet you still couldn’t stop the malice crawling up your throat.
“The least you could do is call me by the right name but I guess we’re both having problems with simple tasks.”
Your words rang in the air for a long while. You wanted to regret them coming out of your mouth but you didn’t. It’s been eating you up since you heard her name. She must’ve been a gorgeous lady with a name like that. You couldn’t find any information on her, and it’s not like Toji kept pictures around, yet Toji’s late wife haunted you. Somebody that you have never met had permanent residence in your head. It made you sick. 
You took things to hell and Toji didn’t push back. He didn’t know how else to comfort you, to convince you that he was in love with you, now, and always has been. Flashes of Toji going to see her grave earlier popped into his mind. Even though he was there, all he could think about was you. Toji thought he couldn’t explain himself that well, so he settled for something else.
“You’re not her and I don’t want you to be .” 
Hot tears ran down your face before you even knew that they were there. Toji cupped your face and used his thumb to wipe away your tears. “I thought I could let go of this. I thought I would be mature enough about this whole situation but I’m not. I can see it in your eyes, Toji,” you sobbed. “It only happened one time but if another slip up like that happened I won’t be able to handle it. I think– I think I need a break.” 
Toji froze. You held his wrists and pried them off of his face, putting them back to his side and wiped your nose with the back of your hands. The cold was starting to settle in his bone, a chill that he was familiar with but alway unprepared for. He waited for you to explain yourself and you sucked in a deep breath. 
“We did this whole thing pretty fast, don’t you think? I mean– it’s just–”
“A break. You want to leave.” 
You tried to clear up the confusion. “I want to have some time to think. That’s all. Stay at my place for a little while. I need to think everything through.” 
“Think what through? So what, I’ve been keeping you hostage? Forcing you to be with me the whole time? Fine, go ahead.” 
Blood was rushing in Toji’s ears; he could barely hear his own voice. He left you behind in the shower stumbling over your own words to calm him down. Take a break. What a stupid fucking concept. If you want to leave, just say that. Why would he hold hope for you to come back to him? 
“Toji, wait. Listen to me!” You hastily wrapped a towel around your body, calling behind him but he was not stopping. 
“You already said everything. Go pack your stuff already. I won’t be holding you back anymore.”
“I didn’t mean it like that–”
“What the hell could you have meant?” He growled. He regretted it the second you shrank away from him. It was never Toji’s intention to make you feel small. He sighed and rubbed his hand down his face. 
“You don’t get to talk to me like that,” you whispered. The glassiness in your eyes was not lost to him. You stomped back into the bathroom, coming out with your toiletries in a basket and putting them on the floor. From the closet you brought out your suitcase you had bought the time you had flown to Malaysia with Toji. You started to open the dressers, throwing your  clothes haphazardly inside. You put on your clothes to ditch the towel and grabbed everything that was yours on top of the dresser. 
“Stop,” Toji said in a low voice. If you genuinely didn’t hear him or ignored him, he couldn’t tell. You continued to move like a whirlwind around the room. 
“Stop. Just stop,” he repeated, grabbing your arm and you reeled away like he was a red hot iron rod. 
“I just wanted you to be better, Toji. That’s all I ever wanted. You’re not the only one who’s dealt with loss, you know? There are steps you can take and you refused them all and I am tired . I love you but clearly that’s not enough anymore. If you love me, let me go.” 
The white in your eyes and the tip of your nose was tinged red. The tiredness that you spoke of physically manifested itself, and Toji saw just how much of a toll it was taking on your body. He didn’t want to hurt you anymore.
“It’s not safe to leave right now. Wait until the morning. Please.”
The “please” was your undoing. Not only was he right, but you also didn’t have your keys. They were still at Jess’ place and getting a ride this early in the morning would be impossible. You gave him a curt nod. 
“You sleep here. I’ll sleep in the living room.” 
You didn’t say anything to him when he left the room. Toji sat on the couch plunged in darkness, listening to you shuffle around in the shared bedroom until the light went out. He sat there until the sun rose from the horizon and he didn’t remember when he actually fell asleep. He didn’t dream of anything. All he knew is that when he finally came to you were gone, your stuff cleared out as much as it could be with a note to throw everything else out.
~*~
Toji’s finger hovered over your name on his phone. He shouldn’t call you. He’s the one who pushed you away, told you to leave if that’s what you wanted to do. But after seeing you tonight for the first time in weeks, at the bar that you used to go to together, with with that white haired fucker you looked happy. You were as gorgeous as always, and Toji could almost taste the lip gloss that you were wearing, knew the exact shade it was as it left a mark on the glass you drank. You hung off Gojo’s body, hooking your arms with his, resting your head on his shoulder, giggling and holding his face the whole night. Toji was sure that neither of you saw him, and watching the both of you felt like he was intruding. Jealousy reared its nasty head on Toji, making his chest tight. He wondered how long you’ve known him for. You never brought Gojo up before, not once, but his past always had a funny way of sneaking up on him. Toji left before he did something reckless. 
He couldn’t be mad at anyone other than himself. Now he sat in his car after spending hours driving around the city to clear his head, time slipping through his fingers. Toji’s phone dimmed, a sign of inactivity from his inability to make a decision. He hasn’t been able to reach you in weeks. Every call went to voicemail, but lately they’ve been ringing through with no answer. You must’ve blocked him, but he’s unblocked now, right? The worst that could happen is that you don’t pick up, again, or he could call and call like he’s been doing and you do pick up, but only to tell him to never speak to you again. It would be deserved, but at least he’ll get to hear your voice one last time. 
“Fuck it,” he muttered, pressing the call button and waits. The first ring goes though, then the second, then the third. “Come on,” he urged. You always have your phone on you. He imagined you sitting down somewhere, just watching his call vibrate your phone. Finally, on the last ring the screen changed, the time starting to show that you had picked up. 
“Hello?” It didn’t sound like you were in the middle of anything, but it was hard to tell. You could’ve been laid right up underneath Gojo for all Toji knows. You didn’t sound angry either. There was surprise in your voice, but nothing else. 
“Hello? Toji, are you alright?” 
He spent so much time analyzing your voice he forgot to actually respond. He cleared his voice before answering. “I’m good. How are you?”
“I’m fine. Tired.”  You shifted, the sound of sheets settling around you and Toji tried to imagine where you were. Hopefully in your own bed with no one else in it. “Is– Is everything okay? Did something happen?”
“Nothing happened. Megumi’s okay too,” he said before you could ask. “I just wanted to hear your voice.”
 It was a truthful admission, even if it stirred from jealousy. Nothing could be heard from your line besides your soft breathing. Toji’s finger impatiently tapped on the steering wheel. Usually when he says that he likes the sound of your voice you would turn your face away from him to hide the lopsided grin that would grow on your face. He wondered if you were fighting back the same reaction now. 
“Oh,” is all you said. Oh . Oh well? Oh no? Oh what?  
“I’m going to come over. Is that alright?” 
“Right now?”
“Yes. Now.”
“Why?” 
Toji already started to drive in your direction. He needed to have more than just your voice. He didn’t want to end things with you like this. He didn’t want it to end at all. 
“What, are you busy or something? Got somebody over there?”
“No. I just wasn’t expecting a visit so soon. And I’m surprised that you even asked. Usually you just show up at my place like it's yours too,” you laughed. Music to his ears, that what your laugh was to him. 
“I thought I would use those manners you’re always talking about. I’ll be there in twenty.” 
You sighed heavily. “Bab– Toji. I don’t think this is a good–”
“I just want to talk.” 
“Just talk?” 
“If that’s what you want.” 
“Don’t flip this on me. I tried talking to you and that didn’t work. It never does. I’m not sure if I should even let you in.” There it was. The hardness in your voice that had finality like you were truly done with him. 
“I’m not gonna force you to.” There was nothing left he could say that he thought would convince you. You hated being told what to do, so this was Toji’s last chance to give you the final say. If you told him no, he would turn his car around and lick his wounds later. Explaining to Megumi what happened between the two of you would be a pain in the ass, and getting used to you not being by his side would be hard to get over, but he could do it… at least he thought so. He would try his hardest to avoid that outcome. 
“Fine. See you in twenty minutes. To talk ,” you acquiesced. 
“Right. See you.”
 He was one lucky son of a bitch. 
Toji might’ve been speeding since he made it to your apartment in 10 minutes instead. It’s been months since he’s been in there, the last time being when he helped you pack up a few boxes to put in his house. When he climbed up to your floor and knocked on your door, you cracked the entrance open to look at him. You didn’t open the door all the way, instead using your body to block the rest of your space. 
“Aren’t you going to let me in? You said that I could come,” he said. 
You rubbed your forehead. “Yeah, I guess I did.” 
You looked exactly how he imagined. A satin bonnet covering your head, a big, loose t-shirt from an old rock band, bare legs, and fuzzy socks. It was your nighttime uniform that he’s seen a thousand times before. He just wished it was his shirt instead. “Want anything to drink?” 
You . “No,” Toji grunted, following into your space and closing the door. 
Your apartment looked like you had never left. It’s like he didn’t even make a dent in your life like you did his. You walked over to the kitchen, pulling out some health drink you were obsessed with. He bought that exact flavor when he saw it at the store just to see if it had grown on him. It didn’t, but he drank it down. He stared at your fingers and hands, then your neck as the liquid moved through you. His favorite place to leave a mark on your skin was bare. 
“Aren’t you gonna say something?” You questioned after licking your lips clean. Toji cleared his throat. 
“I’m going to therapy now,” he announced with no preamble. Your eyebrows raised up in an instant. You had no idea what he was going to say, but it definitely wasn’t this.
“Th–that’s good. Really good, Toji. How is it going?”
 “It’s not the condescending bullshit I thought it was going to be.”
You gave him a small smile. “So it's not that bad. I’m really proud of you. I could’ve recommended it till I was blue in the face but actually going and being consistent is where all the hard work lies.” 
“It’s not that hard. Should’ve gone sooner.” Toji cuffed the back of his neck that was heating up from your praise. He couldn’t even look at your face, instead focusing on your fuzzy socks moving around. “I didn’t know how much I was bottling up.” 
You reached for his hand to hold it. It was a simple gesture, something that you have done a million times before, yet Toji’s heart hammered in his chest like it wanted to jump out. “I’m glad you're having a great experience. I mean it. I also went back to therapy myself to work some things out internally.” 
You tried to return your hand back to your side but Toji wrapped around your wrist, pulling you till you laid flush on his body and you used your other hand to prop yourself up on his chest. Your legs slotted between his and he trapped you there, holding you tighter. 
“Toji,” you gasped. Your nose was full of him, you were so close you could count his lashes. He was too close, too soon, but you didn’t push him away. 
“You’ve always been better when it comes to voicing your emotions. You’re perfect.”
“You are the only person in the world that thinks that,” you laughed. “I was a major hothead before we met.” Your giggles died out when Toji’s lips ghosted over yours. It made your lips twitch with how near he was with no contact. 
“Toji… You came to just talk, remember?”
“Tell me how proud you of me are again, ” he stated unashamedly. You sucked a sharp breath in when his free hand slipped under your t-shirt, starting at the middle of your thigh, grazing up to your waist. Warm hands that could lull you to sleep now set your body ablaze. You should’ve told him to stop when  his fingers went south, brushing past your pubic hair before dipping into your sex. You should’ve told him to stop when he used two fingers to stretch you out, hissing at how tight you because you haven't done it in a while. Hell, you should’ve told him no when he called you to come over because you knew how it would end up. Instead you locked lips with him, hiking your leg up to his waist so he had better access, giving him the praise he wanted to hear. 
“I’m proud of you,” you whispered in his ear before licking the shell of it. You combed his nape and started to grind into his hand, using his palm to rub on your swollen clit while he curled around the spot that made you bend to him. 
“You’re doing so well Toji, just like that.” 
“Fuck,” he groaned. He wanted to taste you, he wanted to fuck you. You already had that glazed look in your eyes, about to reach your climax soon. Tonight you were extremely sensitive, shivering to every touch, gripping him like a vice. His fingers were drenched, and when he put his thumb over the silky mess covering your clit you tipped over the edge, your legs shaking so hard he held you up under your knee to keep you from falling over. 
You only caught your breath for a moment before you went to his pants, fumbling over his belt and pulling him out of pants. Toji pressed you up against the nearest wall, giving you just enough time to throw your shirt off before he smashed his lips on yours. You cupped his face, afraid that he would pull away as he lined himself up with your entrance. Breathy moans filled the quiet apartment when he finally fit himself inside of you. Toji has missed this feeling of you around him more than he had thought. No amount of jerking off with a clothing article of yours that you left behind would have satisfied him. The sounds that you made, the soft gasps and mewling couldn’t be replicated. He fucked you up the wall, holding one of your legs up so he could snap into you over and over again, the toes of your second leg barely touching the floor anymore. 
“Faster, faster,” you begged. You hugged around his neck tightly, and when you pulled away to look at him you were met with his pupils dilated. There was a rosy flush on his cheeks that was lovely to see. You were worried that if you saw Toji again he would not be interested in you anymore. It has never felt so good to be so wrong. You brushed his hair out of his eyes to look at him more clearly and traced his lips with your thumb. Pushing your thumb past his lips, you ran it over his bottom teeth and he held it gently with the top one. You pulled your thumb out, then used your index and middle finger to push down on his tongue, watching the pink muscle move around in his mouth. He did well without gagging, and for that you murmured a “good boy” to him. All the blood in Toji’s body went straight to his dick after hearing those words. If he went any harder he would’ve broken through the wall. 
“Open your mouth,” you ordered. You really didn’t need to, as your fingers were still down his throat but you took them out slightly so he could widen his lips. You spat in his mouth and closed it immediately with a harsh kiss, your teeth bumping each other. You hugged him tightly once once, wrapping your arms around the top of his shoulders and tried your best to match his strokes in the position. Never have you been fucked on a vertical surface, and for a fleeting moment you felt bad for your next door neighbor. Toji’s teeth teasing the skin on your collarbone quickly made it a secondary thought. 
“I’m gonna come,” you warned. “Come with me?” 
Toji nodded, his nose bumping yours. The place where you were connected was a mess, your essence staining the front of his pants. The tinkle of his belt loop added a musical quality to the claps of your bodies meeting each other. 
Just like you had hoped you came at the same time. Soft yet heavy pants replaced the other sounds crescendo you just made. You could feel Toji softening inside of you, and he slowly slid himself out of your cunt with a sigh that you second. There was no way for him or you to comfortably stay connected while standing up, fucking was already hard enough. You cupped your sex, catching the come that was starting to drip out of you when Toji brought damp paper towels to clean you up. You wanted to collapse on the floor at the end of it. 
Toji carried you to your couch per your request. You admitted that you still had some of his clothes, and there were his sweats in your closet if he wanted to change his pants when he put you down. You laid on your stomach, stretching your legs as far out as you can, praying that you wouldn’t catch a cramp. When you gained some feeling in your legs that wasn’t static you took a peek at Toji when he walked back in. He was staring down at you, waiting for your reaction. He wasn’t a fool that would believe that sex would fix everything, but it wouldn’t hurt if it reconciled something between the two of you. 
“I want to preface this by saying I do not regret what we did,” you started. You wanted to address the elephant in the room before it crushed you. Toji got down on one knee to be at your level when you spoke and you smiled. Unknowingly he was such a gentleman but he didn’t see himself that way. 
“I don’t regret it either,” Toji agreed. If it was up to him he’d fuck you again and stay the night. He knew that would be asking for too much but a man can dream. 
“Right… but I don’t think we should get back together. Not yet.” You nervously bit your lip. You dared a glance at him and his face was unreadable. 
“We’re working on ourselves, trying to get better. I really do think we’re benefitting from the intimate time apart. I swear I’m not trying to be an asshole when I say this, but I think we should be friends first.”
Toji was silent for a few minutes. You were so worried that you poked his arm to get some kind of response. “I still get to see you?”
“Yes,” said slowly, as if you were afraid he would change his mind suddenly.
“And we can eat meals together?”
“I don’t see why not.” 
“Are you still going to drag me to see movies during the daytime?”
You scoffed. “It’s cheaper and has less people!” 
Toji gave you a shy grin. It slowly melted off of his face, making you ask what’s wrong. 
“You’re not in love with me anymore.” 
You sat up from the couch, putting your hand over Toji’s that rested on the brown leather. It wasn’t a simple answer. The love you had for Toji could not be given to anybody else. You only had room for him in your heart. Trying to pretend that you didn’t, moving on before you were ready backfired, and Gojo got the worst of it. Not that Toji needed to know, but when Toru kissed you, you realized that you never had romantic feelings for him. All you could think about was what Toji was doing, but you were the one who left. It was unfair to Gojo. 
“I still love you, and I do think we can make this work if we do it the right way. We are in fragile states right now, and if we mix a relationship in it we might blow up like we did before. What I'm saying is; let’s take this slow. There’s no rush, right?”
“You’re right.” You were asking for a fresh start and Toji could do that. You were trying so hard for him, and he was willing to do the same. He would earn you back eventually. However long it takes.
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Thank you so so so much for reading!! Any interactions are appreciated!!
Part One
M.list || Twitter || Ao3
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135 notes · View notes
anothermansjeans · 16 hours
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never give you peace
s.r x youtuber!reader
summary: during their first date, youtuber!reader feels the sudden anxiety that they can never give spencer peace
cw: little angst; hurt/comfort?? mentions of going to a restaurant, strangers coming up to reader, reader is in their head :( the smallest mention of the foyet/haley plot
wc: 855
a/n: hi!!!!!! i would LOVE to take requests for youtuber!reader and spencer!! PLEASE send them in! i love these two sm. inspired by peace by taylor swift!
++
You didn't know when it started happening– the random people walking up to you asking for photos– you just gradually started to get used to it after twenty or so times. Normally, it wouldn't bother you. The people who support you and the reason you make YouTube videos deserve the world in your eyes, but now that you're here, walking down the streets of D.C with Spencer on your first date… it was bothering you… just the tiniest bit!
It took a while for you and Spencer to get to this point. A lot of phone tag (you were both very busy people), you being out of town, and Spencer being out of town really put the two of you through the ringer. To say you deserved this moment of having a proper first date would be an understatement, which is why these two sweet girls walking up to you with shy smiles put you on edge.
“Hi! You're Y/N, right?”
You and Spencer were supposed to be at the small bistro not even a hundred feet away at this point. If you were by yourself, you would be ecstatic to talk to them. Maybe you're a shitty person (you're not. Spencer would later make sure to explain that you're allowed to have boundaries and that talking to strangers normally puts people on edge). Maybe for once, you wanted to not talk to the people who made your career possible. Maybe you feel too bad even thinking this way that the people pleaser is screaming to come out. “Uh… hi.”
“Do you mind taking a picture with us? We’re obsessed with your videos.”
You've been hyper aware of Spencer by your side the entire time. He’s never seen you in your element with followers. You have no clue if he's ever been through something like this with anyone he’s previously dated, but you want to assume this is all new to him and you're probably scaring him away as the seconds tick by.
You're only brought out of your thoughts when you hear Spencer speak up next to you. “Go ahead.”
“Okay…” The process was relatively quick. Spencer offered to take the photo, the girls thanked him profusely, and about five photos total were taken. When Spencer returns the phone the two turn back towards you with wide smiles plastered on their faces.
“Thank you so much! Have a nice night!”
And that was that. Except, it didn't feel like it was done. There was an awkward feeling settling over the two of you, but nothing was said as Spencer linked your arms back together and continued to walk to the bistro.
It was eating at you the entire time you've been in the restaurant. He never brought it up though, always steering the conversation to your shared interests and throwing in a fun fact now and then. It was right before the check came that you finally had enough with the all-consuming thoughts and blurted out the only thing you could truly focus on.
“I could never give you peace.”
“What…?” His wrinkled eyebrows did all of the talking.
“My… job. More people have been doing what those two girls did– asking for pictures. And I know how serious your job is, if people start asking for pictures of you too… I don't want to put you in that position.”
It was quiet for a moment. Although he was a genius, Spencer needed a moment to take in what you said. “Ditto.”
What? “What?” You slapped your hand over your mouth. You did not mean to say that out loud.
He didn't flinch, going straight into explanation. “My job is serious. Serial killer serious. My boss lost his wife because of this job. If you're worried about me in regards to your job, I’m worried out of my wits for you.”
“So… if we both can't provide peace?”
“It's a good thing I enjoy a little chaos.”
A small smile was shared between the two of you, and after the waiter dropped off the bill, you took another look at him. “Well, Dr. Reid, you really are a genius. You solved a majority of my fears with one small conversation.”
“It doesn't take a genius to see what he has in front of him has great
potential to be one of the best things in his life.”
A smirk appeared on your face when he shyly looked at you. “That good, huh? Does that mean I scored a second date?”
“Of course!” Spencer perked up, eyes immediately widening. “Did you know that the typical success rate for getting a second date is 13.7%, which gives a match an opportune time to learn the real chemistry between them and their match, including their values, passions, and family? First dates are actually–”
Sitting there, listening to him changed the smirk to a genuine smile. Maybe the two of you couldn't provide peace on the outside, but as he continues to speak passionately, you feel nothing warmth spread throughout you. The same type of warmth you feel at home; the same type of peace.
65 notes · View notes
joojeans · 2 days
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˚◞♡ ⃗ I Dare You Pt. 2
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♡ Bestfriend!Fuma x Afab!Reader
♡ Summary: You’re sitting on the floor with your friends playing a juvenile game–truth or dare. Things have been spiraling out of control for some time now, but what happens when you’re dared to turn on one of your best friends without touching them? Can they handle it? Can you handle it? Spoiler alert: neither of you can. Find out how things go from seriously fucked up to seriously fucked, one member at a time.
♡ WC: 3.7k
♡ Content: mildly jealous fuma, finger sucking, fuma calling reader pet names, fuma calling reader good girl, reader is foaming at the mouth for fuma tbh (i get it), soft dom fuma, light fingering, unprotected sex (be smart), the actual intercourse is a very small part of this but that's how i wanted it <3
♡ PREVIOUS | SERIES MASTERLIST | NEXT
You lift your head from Euijoo’s shoulder at the sound of your name, eyes finding the mouth responsible almost instantly–Nicholas. He’s giving you the look: the one that says put your phone away and play with us properly. You give him a sheepish smile and slide your phone into your back pocket, sitting up straighter to convey I want to be here.
“It’s your turn, by the way.” 
“Oh.” Awkward.
“So, truth or dare?”
“Tru–” You stop yourself. The truth is usually easier, at least for you, but you feel a bit bad about not being as involved as everyone else, so you figure the riskier option might help make it up to them a little. It can’t be that bad, right? These are your best friends. “Uh, I mean, dare.” 
“Oh?” This time, Nicholas is taken by surprise. “Gimme a sec, I wasn’t prepared for you to actually pick dare.”
You nod, sitting back on one arm while your other hand mindlessly plays with the rips in Euijoo’s jeans. As if inspired by you, he does the same on his other leg.
Nicholas’s face is morphing between concentration, intrigue, and curiosity as he looks around the room. It seems like he’s hoping to be spoon fed the dare by one of the other guy’s faces, and while it doesn’t seem to happen quite like that, it does kind of work. 
“Okay, hear me out.”
Your stomach tenses at the words alone. Nicholas only prefaces things like that when he’s about to propose something your instincts will protest. “Nicholas.”
He holds his hands up in defense, a guilty smile playing on his lips. “Wait, wait. Just listen.”
You roll your eyes, your shoulders shrugging in surrender. Euijoo, Fuma, and K are all looking at Nicholas, certainly dying to know what he’s up to.
Nicholas starts carefully, the honey of his voice smoothing over any startling words. “It’s just that… I couldn’t help but notice that Fuma’s jaw was tense just now. Like, it was locked. And it was because he was watching you… with Euijoo.”
Every head in the room sans Nicholas cocks just slightly. No one seems to be privy to whatever Nicholas is talking about. You look at Euijoo, trying to put the puzzle pieces together for yourself, but he looks just as surprised as you. Your eyes scan him for any signs of you having done anything with him, though you know you haven’t. Then you realize.
Your fingers are still idly playing with the rip of his jeans. That’s it. It’s innocent enough, your fingertips only occasionally pushing inside of the material to lightly scratch at his skin, but you hadn’t even been totally conscious you were doing it.
“Wait. You’re saying this–” You motion generally to the jeans in question.
“Yes.”
You glance up, looking for Fuma. His jaw is definitely tense, but now it seems to be more out of annoyance than–what was it? Disgust? Jealousy?
You look back to Nicholas, still not sure what his point is and definitely sure you don’t want to annoy Fuma any further. “Okay, so what about it?”
Nicholas pushes his tongue into his cheek, a sly grin adorning his face as he prepares to finally reach the climax of this much-too-built-up dare. “I dare you to see how much more you can frustrate him. He seemed to want your attention, so why not let him have it? If you manage to turn him on, I’ll pay for your uber home.”
You only get a moment to process everything because Fuma is nudging Nicholas with his shoulder and muttering words you can’t hear. You’re worried that he’s uncomfortable even if it wasn’t you that started all this. You look from K to Euijoo, hoping that either of them will speak up, but they just look amused and confused, respectively.
Is Fuma really jealous? Does he think of you like that? You had never thought so, but you can’t exactly say you’d be complaining if he does. He’s Fuma. Handsome. Strong. Respectable.
“So are you saying you’re afraid to let her try?” Nicholas laughs. The conversation is finally audible to third party ears again.
Fuma clears his throat. “No. I’m saying that I don’t think it’s very fair to be putting her in that position.”
The atmosphere gets eerily quiet, awkward. You and everyone else know that you’re the only one that can speak for yourself. Strangely, you like having the upper hand like this. It feels like there are exciting possibilities with a handsome man that you’re now maybe starting to think about differently.
“I don’t mind, you know.” And you don’t.
The quietness carries on. Everyone needs you to elaborate.
“I mean, we’re all having fun here, right?” Everyone nods, albeit slowly. “And I could certainly use a free uber home later. So… why not? Unless you are opposed, of course.”
You plaster on a lighthearted, playful smile and it feels like the tension is slowly but surely being sucked out of the room. All four sets of eyes move to Fuma. His move.
“I can’t say that I was prepared for this, but… okay. Who am I to deny you an opportunity for a free ride, right?” His tone is equally playful and it relieves you. 
Relieves everyone, really. Now that all parties are seeing eye to eye, everyone can breathe.
“Well, have at it.” Nicholas motions you towards Fuma and you chew on your lip for a moment. This is probably going to be really fun for you, but you haven’t exactly thought it through. Still, the show must go on.
You carefully sit up until you’re squatting on your feet. You lean forward until your knees hit the floor, crawling hands and knees in Fuma’s direction. He’s watching you, seemingly unaffected as his eyes stay locked on you.
His back is resting against the sofa as he sits on the floor, feet planted, knees bent, forearms resting on his knees. His feet are far enough apart that you can just squeeze yourself between his legs. You do, your hands linking themselves with his as you sit on your knees. His head falls back just slightly on his shoulders, looking down his nose at you. His lips are parted just slightly and his eyelids are lowered, but he otherwise looks the same as he always does.
“Hi, Fuma,” you coo, batting your lashes sweetly.
“Y/n.” There’s a seriousness to the way he speaks, but he gives you a small smile that can only be described as adoring.
“I hear you were feeling a little jealous.” You mock pout, bringing one of his hands up to your face to nuzzle it. “Is that right?”
Fuma exhales an almost-laugh, tongue pushing into his cheek. “I don’t know if I would call it that.” The other guys can’t see it, but the hand that’s brushing against your cheek squeezes yours. It feels like validation that he does feel something for you, even if he hasn’t said as much.
“No?” You free both of his hands from yours momentarily, instead placing all of your focus on one of them. You open his palm with your fingers–his one hand needs both of yours to do this properly–and massage up to his fingertips. “Seemed like you didn’t really like what I was doing with my fingers.”
It’s barely noticeable, but Fuma’s breath catches in his throat briefly. You cock your head innocently, watching as the gears behind his eyes turn, trying to figure out your next move so he can beat you to it.
“I should make that up to you, right?” You press soft kisses upon each fingertip. “Show you I’m sorry for upsetting you like that?”
Fuma watches intently as your lips travel across each fingertip, between each knuckle. “I mean– You don’t have to–”
Saving him the struggle of finding the right words in this complex situation, you pull your head back just enough to straighten his fingers completely and suck his index and middle finger between your lips. You can hear a gasp from someone in the room, but it’s not Fuma. The only reaction he gives you is an almost imperceptible slackening of his jaw.
Unwavering, you let your tongue snake around and between his fingers, humming happily. You thought you’d have to fake that part a little bit, but now that you’re actually doing this, you’re really fucking enjoying it. Something about Fuma not giving into you so easily is making wetness pool in your panties. To be frank, you can’t think of anything else you’d rather be doing other than sucking on Fuma’s pretty fingers. Maybe this was supposed to be about seeing how much you could get to Fuma, but it seems like you’re getting to yourself more than anything right now.
Fuma lets you get carried away, mouth working his fingers the way they would his cock. There’s a slight burning in your cheeks knowing that other people are watching you, but you can’t care enough to stop yourself. Worse, you feel your heart skip a beat when Fuma reaches out to brush away the few strands of hair that found themselves stuck in the little pool of saliva on the corner of your lips. Fuck, even right now he’s a gentleman. 
You moan softly at the act of care, but it’s cut off by a second, surprised moan when Fuma presses his fingers down firmly on your tongue. You stop moving, eyes wide as you look at Fuma. He presses them down further until your mouth opens and your jaw forces apart. He just looks at you as you sit on your knees, mouth and jaw open for him, his fingers still pressing on your tongue. “Good girl.”
Oh fuck.
He removes his fingers from your mouth and wipes the saliva on your lips with his thumb. “Alright, that’s enough.”
You don’t know what to feel. Embarrassed? Maybe. Confused? Yeah. Turned on? Absofuckinglutely.
Nicholas speaks up before you can even begin to think of what to say. “Hey, you don’t get to decide when it’s over. Money is on the line here.” He’s half joking.
“I said it’s over. It worked. I don’t think you need to see the physical evidence.”
It worked?
In a move that would be extremely inappropriate on any other day, everyone in the room glances towards Fuma’s crotch. No one can be sure of anything based on the way he’s sitting, but considering he confirmed it himself, it seems that you were successful.
That’s great and all, but now you have to deal with the aftermath of all of your friends watching you act… like that. You have to change the subject immediately or you might die of embarrassment.
“Alright, Nicholas. Pull your phone out right now and send me the money you owe me.” You playfully toss your hair and retreat back to your spot next to Euijoo, hoping like hell everyone can forget what just happened.
Euijoo seems to stiffen a little when you sit next to him this time and you’re not sure if you love or hate that. Still, you rest your head against his upper arm, eyes trained on Nicholas to make sure he does what’s promised. He laughs when he realizes you very much meant right now and pulls his phone from his pocket.
“Don’t worry about it,” Fuma mumbles quietly to Nicholas. No one else hears him, but you’re hyper aware of him after… what just happened… so you do. Nicholas looks over at him, clearly confused, but Fuma explains himself. “Send her the money still, but I’ll take her home.”
Nicholas smirks.
-
You’re standing at the far end of the kitchen, head resting against the wall near the fridge. You’re ready to go home, but you don’t want to ruin the mood for everyone else by being the first to leave. Still, you decide to open uber and see how long it would take for a driver to come get you. As it goes, there’s a driver only five minutes away. Tempting.
“Should I grab my keys?”
You glance up from your phone to see Fuma standing at the other end of the kitchen. He looks calm and composed as ever. The way you feel looking at him could be considered anything but.
Silence hovers between you for several moments as you consider how to answer. Fuma never actually spoke with you about driving you home tonight. You’re pretty sure he doesn’t even know you overheard his hushed words to Nicholas. It seems bold for him to just assume you’d take him up on it, but then again… maybe not? You are friends. You seem to be forgetting that a lot tonight.
Still, you’re not an idiot.
“Yeah. If you don’t mind.”
With a nod, Fuma disappears into the living room. You mentally prepare for a ride home that is sure to be unlike any other.
He returns only a minute later, keys in hand. “I told them that we’re leaving and that you said goodbye. I hope that’s okay?” You nod. Your hero. You’re not in the right headspace for all the formalities tonight. Fuma offers you his arm and you hesitate, but you ultimately take it and walk out the front door with him.
The car ride is miserable. You’re both quiet and Fuma keeps asking if you’re feeling okay when you’re very much not feeling okay. Especially not when you’re watching the way his hand glides across the steering wheel effortlessly. Especially not when his other arm is propped against the driver’s side door, hand rubbing his jaw and lips. Especially not when you’re trying to not look at either of his hands and instead find your eyes trained on his lap, his muscular thighs looking all too inviting. It’s all you can do to not pounce on him in the middle of the highway.
Since when do you feel like this about Fuma?
Since approximately three hours ago.
You try like hell to shake it off and stare out your window instead. Safe.
When you pull up to your apartment, you expect to give Fuma an awkward goodbye hug and a thank you and then scurry away to hide yourself from him for the foreseeable future. That’s not what happens.
Fuma turns off the car and removes his keys. He steps out of the car and comes to your side to open it for you, arm protectively around your lower back as you let him guide you to your front door. You turn to face him then, eyes inquisitive.
“Well… goodnight? Thank you for the ride home. You really didn’t have to do that. I did get a free ride tonight, you know.” You laugh half-heartedly, mentally cursing yourself for bringing up anything even tangentially related to what happened between you tonight.
“You’re welcome. Are you going to open the door?”
You hesitate. Again. “Oh, uh… yes?” You unlock and push the door open, stepping just inside to say goodbye again. He just wants to make sure I’m safely inside before he leaves.
Nope. Fuma carefully nudges you further into your apartment so he can step inside as well, closing the door behind him. 
What is going on?
You look up to Fuma and cock your head, prompting him to explain himself. He smiles at you with a subtle confidence that makes you feel like you’d do anything to please him. “What?”
“I don’t understand what’s happening right now.”
Fuma chuckles, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. “Y/n. You couldn’t sit still the entire ride home. Did you think I couldn’t feel you staring at me?” 
He pauses in case you’d like to answer. You don’t. 
“Did you or did you not want me to come inside with you tonight?”
Well…
“Fuck, Fuma. I don’t know. Nothing about what I’m feeling or wanting tonight feels normal.”
He nods, taking your hand and walking you to your dining table. He sits in the closest chair and carefully maneuvers you onto his lap. You’ve sat in his lap many times before, but never like this–not straddling him, not with his face so close to yours. “Let me help you figure it out then, mm?” A pause for you to nod your agreement. “Did you like it when you thought I was jealous earlier tonight?”
You narrow your eyes. “You were jealous.”
“Not the point. Did you like it?”
“Well…a little bit, yeah. I don’t know why.”
“That’s okay. Did you like it…” His hand cups your face, thumb brushing over your bottom lip. Your body memory recalls him doing that to clean your own drool off of you only hours before and your cunt throbs. “...when you had my fingers in your mouth?”
“Yes.” You answer too quickly. You didn’t mean to do that.
Fuma’s lips quirk into a small smirk, humming his approval. “Do you want me to kiss you right now?”
Fuck it. If he’s going to ask you about every single feeling and desire, you might as well just be completely honest. 
“Fuma, if I’m being honest, I want you to do more than just kiss me right now.”
A brief flash of surprise reflects from Fuma’s eyes, but he never falters. He gathers your hand in his. “Is that so?” He places your hand over the button of his jeans. “Tell me what it is you want me to do then, angel.”
Your lips part in a silent gasp as you glance down. You can finally feel that he was affected by you even if he’s good at hiding it. Your hand tries to curl around the girth of his clothed cock, but his jeans are too thick and stiff. Your eyes flit back up to his, sparkling. You work on pulling his button loose and his zipper down as you speak, silently praying he doesn’t stop you. “I need to feel you inside me. Want you to make me cum.”
Fuma smiles, taking your hand away from his jeans and pressing a kiss against the back of it. “Using your words so well, yeah? That’s a good girl.” He laces his fingers through yours, free hand ghosting down to free himself from his jeans. 
You chew on your lip at the sight of his uncovered cock, mouth instinctively watering, but he doesn’t let you get caught up for too long.
“Lift up just a little for me.”
You do as requested and he frees the hem of your dress from under you at all sides before letting you sit back down. His hand slides up the top of your soft thigh, inviting itself between them. You whimper at the proximity before he’s even touched you and he playfully slaps your thigh. “So needy. Cute.”
His hand continues its journey, feeling the wet cloth of your panties for only a moment before pulling them to the side. He lets his long middle finger glide between your slick folds, licking his lips as he realizes how truly needy you actually are. “Must’ve been so uncomfortable sitting in your pretty panties like this all night.” He guides the hand he was holding to his shoulder and leaves it there. Understanding, you hold it and Fuma pushes his finger inside you, relishing the relieved moan you gift him.
“There we go. Feels so much better, mm?”
You nod somewhere close to frantically. “So good, Fuma. Want more.”
“Mhmm. I know.” He adds a second finger and slowly starts to scissor them, making sure you’re nice and open for him. His eyes are all over your face as it scrunches up in pure pleasure, his free hand rubbing your hip to soothe you. “Think you’re ready to sit on my cock, angel?”
“Sofuckingready,” you breathe out at once. You lean your body forward, your arms wrapping around Fuma’s neck. You rest your forehead against his while he takes advantage of your positioning, removing his fingers from you and angling his cock towards your entrance.
He hesitates. You feel rabid.
“Tell me you’re sure.”
“God, I couldn’t be more fucking sure. Please.”
His lips twitch into a small smirk. “I got you.” He inserts himself inside you with one hand, his other gently guiding your body down. Your eyelids flutter from the fullness of him, slowly stretching you open until you’re fully impaled on him. He feels better than you could’ve imagined and your eyes close, feeling like you’re in a wet, lucid dream.
Usually, you would take control of the situation–moving yourself up and down his cock at your will–but something about being with Fuma makes you feel small. Like you should be taken care of instead. Like you don’t have to lift a finger.
Seemingly, he feels the same.
Both hands on your hips, Fuma takes care of you. He rolls his hips up into your aching cunt, his hands aiding him by guiding you along his length. He asks almost nothing of you, all too happy to single-handedly provide you both what you’ve been craving. He watches as your head slips back on your shoulders, your jaw slack from the blissful pleasure of him.
“There you go, angel.” His voice is solace. “Hold onto me.”
Your fingers curl into either side of his shoulders, doing your damnedest to keep yourself up. The room is eerily quiet–only the sounds of your slick, Fuma’s praises, and your soft exhales peppering the air. Despite how urgently you felt you needed this, everything about it is tender. The way he holds you, moves you, fucks you–it feels like love.
And maybe it is. You’ve always loved each other. Just…never like this. 
Or maybe you didn’t know it was like this.
You’re not sure how long you carry on like this. You feel dazed, suspended in a beautiful haze with Fuma. Even your orgasm feels careful, gradually building until it takes over you, flooding your body with warmth and dopamine and oxytocin, flooding Fuma’s lap with a thank you. You don’t realize he also found release until you slowly blink your eyes back open to see the remnants of pleasure etched onto his face.
You smile at each other weakly, fondly. You lean your forehead against his once more, the two of you catching your breath in tandem. You feel his lips moving within centimeters of yours.
“Let’s go to bed.”
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slutt4ellie · 7 hours
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Hearts Over Hierarchy
PT2 - Love In Bloom
Loser!Ellie x Popular!Reader
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PART 1
Do opposites really attract?
Summery : After Ellie asked you to go to the cabin with her friends, and you full heartedly agreed, you started to realize that maybe a friendship wasn’t the only thing the both of you had..
Warnings -> Alcohol usage / The smut is hereeeee / Fingering / Oral / Scissoring /Miscommunication (they don’t talk abt wtf their relationship is) / Implied jealously! / tiny tiny bit of smau / Obviously NSFW!! / (Lmk if I missed anything else)
WC: 5.3k
(Not proofread!)
DAILY CLICK 🇵🇸
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It’s been exactly one week since Ellie invited you to go join her, and her friends in the cabin which is few hours out.
You were a bit nervous. You just blamed it on the fact that you were meeting two new people, and the fact it was just going to be the 4 of you. Alone. In the middle of nowhere.
Ellie kept reminding you they were nice, and you literally have nothing to be nervous about. But your nerves were still constantly running.
You were just on packing the last few items you needed to last your 3 day trip but before your thought process could even continue there was a few knocks.
“Y-yeah hold up!” You say walking over to the door opening it slightly. Once your are met with blue ones, you know who it is.
Emily..
Things with Emily have been so fucking awkward since she decided to give her unwanted opinion about Ellie. And you didn’t even understand why!
She was never mean, at least it was fucking rare. But when it came to Ellie, everything suddenly became so uncomfortable and unwarranted.
It’s like she was constantly trying to persuade your opinions on her, just making mini side comments. Small sighs. It was little things but you noticed it.
And Emily must have noticed the tension between the two of you because she nervously spoke.
“H-hey..” She cleared her throat noticing how her voice sounded small and scared. After she clears it her voice finally becomes more full..Either way her eyes aren’t shifting from the floor.
You talked back looking at her hands and how they’re fidgeting. “Hey..”
Emily finally made eye contact with you once again. “Are you mad at me..?”
“W-what no?” It was a white lie. To say Emily’s behaviours weren’t getting annoying was bullshit, you knew it, and she did too.
“I-I just know you’re going away with Ellie and her friends- I just don’t want us to be in bad terms.” Emily says, there’s this look in her eye which is almost unbearable..maybe sympathy, or her just pleading for forgiveness. Regardless it’s a look that you don’t see often.
“Em. We won’t be on bad terms.” You shake your head then look at her. “I promise..”
She bites her lip almost if something is resting on her tongue. You don’t want to push her to say whatever is on her mind, but subconsciously you feel like you should.
But before you can even make decision your phone buzzes in your pocket.
Your hand grabs it and your eyes shortly trail to look down.
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Emily looks down at your phone too. “She here?”
You quickly clear your throat and look back up at her, you feel shitty. It almost feels like your ditching Emily but whatever she wanted to say can probably wait.
“Y-yeah she’s here!” You smile watching Emily slowly nod.
“Okay I can help you take down your suitcase.” Emily smiles causing you to shake your head and chuckle. “Em it’s okay, I got it”
“No! No I want to?” She shakes her head grabbing it.
You don’t protest it this time which causes her to smile, and once the two of you are downstairs and outside the door, you see the parked car.
There’s a man with black-ish hair, he’s sat right in the driver seat, there’s a girl beside him. You quickly take in her pretty features, and brunette hair, which is styled in a messy bun.
“That them?” Emily ask looking at you which you reply with a simple nod. “Yeah I believe..!”
Emily just smiles putting down your suitcase stepping over to give you a tight hug.
“I’ll see you in a few days?” Emily pulls back, her blue eyes not tearing away from yours. After she finishes her sentence you smile and nod. “Yep, few days!”
She then moves a loose strand behind your ear. “There’s a party when you get back by the way? Everyone is gonna be there, soooo you’re definitely going” The way Emily said it almost sounded like a command, it had a chuckle leave your lips.
“Why does that sound like your forcing me!” You smile lightly shoving her shoulder. “Cause I am! You’re coming to the party!” Emily says tilting her head.
“Okay whatever! Byeeee!” you say to Emily giving her a wave as you watch her figure go back into the sorority house.
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Ellie ending up seeing that whole interaction between you and Emily. Her face was practically screwed to the window, when Emily moved that strand from your face, she almost instantly saw how you were smiling and giggling with her.
It gave Ellie unwanted feelings of jealousy which she couldn’t even understand. She doesn’t like you like that. You guys are just friends..
“So are they dating?” Jesse ask looking back at Ellie.
Ellie obviously wasn’t paying attention so he lightly shoves her shoulder.
“W-what man!” Ellie says annoyed. Pushing his hand off her shoulder.
“Are they dating?” He repeats himself, now that Ellie’s attention is finally off of you..
“T-the f-fuck I don’t know!? I haven’t asked?” Ellie says rubbing her eye not knowing what else to say.
“Who’s the girl?” Dina now chirps in looking back at Ellie.
“I-uh I don’t know?” Ellie feels stupid now realizing how much she doesn’t know about this mystery girl. She thought i’d be weird to ask you about her, and if Ellie’s being honest with herself, she doesn’t even know if she wants the answer?
“And you haven’t asked if she’s dating anyone?” Jesse chuckles looking back at Ellie.
“No because that’s weird! We’re friends man!” Ellie says quickly shaking her head, not even letting the thought breath before she turns it down.
Ellies eyes fall back on you. She sees how your walking towards the car and she hops out of the back seat super fast.
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It doesn’t take long before you’re opening the trunk and Ellie’s met outside the car with you. “Hey!” Ellie smiles helping you put the suitcase in the trunk.
You look at her green eyes noticing how they’re trailing all over your face. “Hi!” Ellie slightly clears her throat. Giving you a chance to give her a tight lipped smile and reply with a “Hellooo!”
Ellie smiles and looks at you. Her eyes keep on shifting between yours. “Um I- I downloaded like some movies so we can watch them on the drive? You don’t have to though! Jus-“
You smile and nudge her shoulder lightly “You always think so deep into things, obviously I wanna watch movies” You say before closing the trunk. And thank god you did, because say you didn’t, you would have seen Ellie’s bright red face instantly noticing how flustered that one fucking sentence made her.
You quickly take notice of the two extra people in the car, taking a short deep breath which Ellie immediately notices. “Dina and Jesse are niceee! Just relax” Ellie’s says, now being the one to nudge your shoulder.
You do appreciate her reassuring words and you nod. “I’m super relaxed Williams!” Ellie chuckles shaking her head, putting up her hand’s defensively which earns a chuckle from you. “Right!”
You quickly enter the back seat and the first few minutes are filled with introductions. Dina and Jesse are super nice. Ellie was right. Not that you’d admit that to her though!
They say how Ellie’s mentioned you quite a bit which prompts Ellie’s face to turn beet red out of embarrassment. But this time you did notice it, and you fully teased her about it, you truly thought it was cute funny! Despite Ellie’s denial.
Even though you teased Ellie about it you always found ways to sneak her into the in conversation. And half the time it was accidental!..
Ellie stayed denying the whole subject, saying she barley mentions you, and how Dina and Jesse were being “dramatic!” It caused you to laugh but you dropped it.
Ellie sat in the middle seat which was ironic because she could have had more space by just sitting on the opposite end.
It would have allowed the both of you to at least have on spot away from each other. Even when you brought it up she just shook her head.
She smiled and argued that you wouldn’t be able to see her phone if she sat one seat away from you. Which to give her the benefit, that point was actually fair.
So here you are now shoulder to shoulder watching the original Jurassic Park. Which Ellie practically begged to watch despite your protest. It unfortunately didn’t take long till you finally agreed.
“Dude this shit is so unrealistic!” You say looking up from the screen facing her green eyes. You saying this causes her to instantly shake her head. “No it’s not?! It’s cool!”
“Barley!” You laugh following up. “The fucking dinosaurs don’t look real!”
“It was made in the 90s??!” Ellie argues. But you didn’t want to hear it. The movies visual effects were genuinely painful to watch.
“Okay! Still I could’ve made real looking dinosaurs!” You chuckle, which leads Ellie to smile. “Oh yeah! Totally!” Ellie shakes her head.
Your eyes fall back on the screen having some final chuckles leave your parted lips. When Ellie looks up at the front seat she sees Dina and Jesse giving each a quick “You notice it too?” Kinda look which Ellie clears her throat to finally get them to stop.
She didn’t want you to look up and notice the fact they we’re practically giving each other morse code through blinks. Dina and Jesse were being far from fucking discreet.
Ellie’s eyes look back down at the phone screen her eyes feeling slightly heavy. She yawns, and just like that she was out.
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Ellie wakes up to Dina tapping her knee lightly. Her eyes flutter open, and after a few seconds Ellie finally noticed this slight weight and warmth planted on her shoulder.
And before she could even process the waking up feeling she sees your head placed conventionally right on her shoulder. Your hand was also laid flat on top of hers. Ellie felt the heat rise to her cheeks once again and Dina chuckles.
Now Ellie doesn’t waist time and she quickly pulls her hand away. She doesn’t feel like getting teased from Dina any longer and she doesn’t want you to wake up and see the weird fucking position the two of you were in.
“Sleep alright?” Jesse chuckles tilting his head and looking at your sleeping body matched with closed eyes right on Ellie’s shoulder.
“Shut up!” Ellie says in a whispered yelled straight at him before gently shaking you.
Your voice comes out light and quiet, having an inaudible sound which Ellie recognizes as a little “Hmm”
Ellie tried not to panic considering your head was still firmly placed on her shoulder. “W-we’re here” Ellie says gently shaking you again.
Your eyes finally open and when you notice you fell asleep right on Ellie’s shoulder your body shoots up mumbling a few sorry’s.
Ellie shakes her head fast. “N-no you’re good! I-I fell asleep too.”
Her words do offer you some comfort but either way you feel extremely embarrassed about the whole situation. You’re just praying she drops it, and you’ll do the same.
Your head quickly moves to the window getting a view of the cabin that you’re going to be spending the next 3 days at.
“It’s nice right?” Ellie says watching as Dina and Jesse get out walking straight to the trunk. “Yeah really nice.” You smile looking at Ellie.
Ellie gets out of her seat and you take that as a signal to do the exact same.
When Jesses eyes meets Ellie’s he gives her a smirk, he knows something is going on the two of you, at least that’s what Ellie’s assuming. It’s like he’s talking through his eyes or something.
Ellie just shakes her head and grabs your suitcase first disregarding her own.. Once she sees you get out she quickly hands it to you. “I can show your where you’ll sleep in a second?”
You just nod and make your way up the stairs. The cabin was beautiful, when you walked in it had a full open concept and huge windows giving you a full view of the forest..
Since the windows were huge you could see everything. The scenery was beautiful, it also helped since there were a few couches you could sit on. Ellie must have walked in shortly after you because you hear her voice softly talk.
“I can show you the room you’re sleeping in.” Ellie smiles as you turn around in face her. “Yeah, yeah that sounds good.”
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After Ellie showed you where you’d be sleeping the day quickly faded into night. You, Dina, Jesse, and Ellie we’re all sitting on the couch a few shots coursing through all of you, it had everyone a bit more loose.
The night was filled with laughs. A few drinking games, and everything felt nice. You don’t even know how it happened, or why it was happening, but as the night went on you and Ellie both got closer. Not romantic or anything crazy, like kissing or some shit? Just more along the lines of sitting beside each other in a way most people wouldn’t particularly call “platonic”.
Along the lines of knee to knee, with Ellie’s arm over your shoulder. But then again some friendships have a more physical aspect?..And that’s all you were willing to blame it on as of now.
Just a physical friendship?
You also learned when Ellie got drunk she got bolddd, which was a huge personality switch. At least in your eyes. You obviously thought this because she’s always fiddling with at least two fingers and studying every sentence before she even says it. Not to mention the stuttering should would constantly go through.
And as the night went on, and all 4 of you got more drunk Dina decided to spit out an amazing idea, which was going swimming!
Of course all of you having alcohol in your system so everyone didn’t even hesitate quickly agreeing. You and Ellie ran to your separate bedrooms and Dina and Jesse ran to their shared room.
It didn’t take long till everyone was in their bathing suits. But your eyes just went straight to Ellie, it led you to basically disregard everyone else in the room.
She had bathing suit shorts on, with a bikini styled top. When your eyes fell on hers and she saw how you observing her, insecurities rushed through her head simply because she couldn’t read what the fuck your eyes meant.
Like she couldn’t tell if it was disappointment or something different? But when she saw your face slowly bring out a tight lipped smile she knew it was fine.
You were smiling at her..
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The four of you all rushed outside going down the steps which promptly led to the doc, your hand now intertwined with Ellie’s.
And to be fair It was on instinct! Since you guys were stumbling on your own feet, Ellie momentarily decided it would probably be safer if you held each others hands.
Which was super responsible!
So she quickly reached out her hand to yours.
And you didn’t hesitate to grab it back.
Sure maybe you guys didn’t need to have your fingers literally interviewed with each other! But! It offered more…grip!
“You’re jumping in!” Ellie says laughing while still holding onto your hand.
“No i’m not!” You quickly shake your head looking at straight at her.
“No?” Ellie’s hands find your shoulder and you guys are going straight to the edge of the doc.
“E-Ellie stop!” You quickly yell, your hands trailing straight to her waist in an attempt not to fall.
Ellie just chuckles, because despite your efforts she knows you’re going into the water.
And she was right.
Because as soon as your foot hit the edge of the doc you were a goner, the cold water hit your whole body instantly which covered you head to toe in goosebumps.
You quickly rose above the water and you see Ellie practically on the floor because she’s laughing so hard. “What the fuck!” You yell while laughing, still desperately trying to keep on the annoyed facade. Which was already failing when you saw Ellie smiling and laughing.
“What!” Ellie laughs looking at you. “I was just helping you in!”
You quickly shake your head and splash her. “Yeah fuck you!”
And after that moment it only took a solid 5 seconds before Ellie jumps in now splashing you..
And in no time all 4 of you guys are in the water splashing and swimming around each other.
You quickly swim up to Ellie smiling “Thank you for inviting me.” You clear your throat watching as her green eyes fall on your lips.
“I-uh know this is like your thing with your friends and shit so..-” You nod trying to show your thanks.
“Well you are my friend?” Ellie’s eyes meet yours again. She’s almost refusing to break eye contact. Which you can’t even understand why it makes you nervous. “Y-yeah well, I was talking about like a thing with you, Dina, and Jesse?”
Ellie sorta shrugs and then nods. “K well now you?” You chuckle looking at her “Huh?”
“Now your on the list? Me, Dina, Jesse, and you?” She says it like it’s obvious. Like she can’t even understand why you didn’t automatically get that.
Your gaze goes behind Ellie’s shoulder and your eyes are met with Jesse and Dina making out.
Ellie didn’t understand why your eyes were now off hers and she turns her head to see what your gaze was focused on.
Ellie turns back to you and laughs shaking her head. “Let’s leave??” She’s says asking you first, which you nod.
“Yep!” You smile getting out of the water and saying mini goodbyes to Jesse and Dina before taking her hand once again.
You notice how the feeling of being drunk was still pretty apparent. And you knew you still wanted to be close to Ellie. But you fully blamed that on being drunk. You and Ellie were literally only friends! Nothing else?
“I-I’m gonna have a shower, get the lake water off of me!” Ellie smiles, she doesn’t wanna be the first one to let go of your hands. She has this feeling with you, one that she can’t ignore, even if she wants to.
After Ellie talks you look at your fingers intertwined together giving your head a slight nod, slowly letting go of her hand. “Okay- me too..”
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As you walk out of the bathroom, your hair now fresh, your body now clean and feeling a bit more sober then before, you hear faint giggles which you already know is Jesse and Dina.
But before your thoughts can even continue you see Ellie with a towel ruffling it in her wet hair. She’s now in a fresh pair of grey sweatpants and a white tee.
Since she didn’t notice you, you decided to talk first. “Hey..” Ellie stops ruffling her hair in the towel and she smiles at you. You can tell she’s also sobered up slightly because her bold persona is now faded. “H-hey”
“You going to bed?” You ask looking at her before following up. “I think Jesse and Dina are gonna be a bit busy?” You give her a short chuckle. “Gross” Ellie wrinkles her nose with an over exaggerated disgust look.
“I-yeah maybe? Are you going to bed” Ellie ask looking back at you. “No, probably not right now..?” You shake your head looking at her feeling a thump form in your throat, which you get out by clearing your throat.
“Wanna just hang out in my room” Ellie doesn’t even know how the fuck she managed to get that out without stuttering but she did! And that’s all that mattered right now.
“Y-yeah..!” You say looking at her shortly talking again. “But i’m not watching another fucking Jurassic Park movie Ellie!” You say walking into her bedroom, when she doesn’t laugh you turn around.
“I-is that girl, is she your girlfriend.” Ellie says out of nervousness. It was so random, but at this point she felt like she almost needed to know, she needed to know if she was reading into this thing between the two of you.
She knows she has a answer locked in her mind. At least the one she hopes it is, but either way. The way that girl hugged you, moved the loose strand behind your ear. It all felt so fucking real, so romantic.
“What- wait who??” You say obviously not following Ellie’s train of thought.
“The girl with the blue eyes. The one who liked- knocked on the door that night?”
Fuck..was talking about Emily?
You would have never really associated romantic feelings with Emily. Let alone Emily being your girlfriend? Sure you two were close, but you two were friends. And since you’ve been friends with her so long? You couldn’t really understand why this was was a topic of discussion. You wanted to know why she even thought that.
“E-Emily- What no? Why do you even?-“ But before you can get a word out Ellie talks
“F-fuck I don’t know?? I mean the way she looks at you?” Ellie shakes her head, maybe she was the one reading into it? But Ellie knows what look Emily constantly gives you. It could easily be deciphered as love. Anyone with eyes could probably see that?
Despite your two pair of working eye balls you couldn’t fuckig see it, so you denied.
“Me and Emily were just friends! We’ve been friends for awhile- that’s it.” Now Ellie’s eyes are unreadable. It’s like she’s deciding something. But before you can even think about what that look might mean. “I swe-“
Ellie’s lips were suddenly on yours.
It’s like she’s worried someone might interrupt, like when the two of you almost kissed the first time.
Your hands go on Ellie’s cheek. The kisses are needy and messy. Ellie’s making little noises which are going straight into your mouth.
She moves your back against the door, her hands finding a comfortable spot on your waist. Ellie’s lips plant right on your neck. She’s kissing and sucking which is 100% going to leave marks for the morning.
But right now you don’t even care. It’s just you and her.
Ellie’s hands go to the hem of your shirt and she pulls back from the crook of your neck. “Can I..?” Her voice comes out in a faint whisper having you nod just as quick as she says it.
Ellie also doesn’t hesitate as her hands reach the bottom of your shirt hems and she pulls them up and over your head.
Ellie’s whole mind feels frozen. Because sure she’s hooked up with a few girls..but they were awkward and meaningless.
When it comes to you, she’s scared she’ll fuck it up or something. “C-can I touch you..?” Ellie ask clearing her throat.
You never really had someone ask how Ellie did. When you hooked up with other girls they were so fast. Just wanting to quickly fuck and get it over with.
But with Ellie she actually fucking cared, so you nodded and the two of you move to the bed.
Ellie kisses you neck and her hand moves to the waistband of your shorts. Her hand is going in slow repeatitipve circles on your clothed clit which earns moans from you..
“Baby..Jesse and Dina- they might hear?”
The way baby slipped so easy off Ellie’s tongue just made you more fucking turned on. Her touching you over clothes wasn’t enough right now.
You needed more.
So you took it into your own hands and grabbed Ellie’s hand leading it down.
Ellie understands what you want and she complies smiling. Ellie’s eyes trail yours, she notices how your eyes screwed shut and how the back of your hand was pushing against your mouth to muffle the moans.
You open your eyes and tap Ellie’s waist lightly as she lays on her side. “Y-wearing to much El..” You moan out and look at Ellie.
And you didn’t have to tell her twice because Ellie uses her free hand and takes off her shirt so she’s in a sports bra and sweatpants.
But Ellie doesn’t stop there, she follows up by taking off her sweat pants then bra so now she’s literally just in her boxers.
You can’t help but let out a chuckle. You’ve never seen Ellie like this.
Ellie then smiles looking at you before kissing you again mumbling a short “What..”
You smile and shake your head, pulling back from the kiss. You also decide to move a few loose strands out of her face. “I didn’t say anything..?”
The way Ellie’s chest pushes against yours. How she refuses to break the kiss, swallowing your moans as she plays with your folds. Even though this is so foreign for the both of you.
It feels right.
Ellie’s hand’s travel to your bra quickly taking it off and just like that her lips are wrapped around your nipple licking the sensitive bud.
Your moans are faltered by Ellie’s index finger going straight into your mouth.
Your tongue is going all around Ellie’s finger sucking it and licking it.
Ellie’s starts to kiss down your collarbone, then chest, passing your bellybutton and waist, her fingers moving to the waistline of your pyjama shorts.
You notice how Ellie looks up at you again, subconsciously looking for permission, she doesn’t wanna accidentally step over a line regardless of how far the two of you have already gone..
As you see her greens eyes meet yours, you nod. You feel your shorts sliding down your thighs as Ellie kisses down them. “This okay baby..” She ask again getting extra clarification.
For someone who’s a stuttering mess in normal situations Ellie knows how to keep herself calm, at least that’s what you thought.
Ellie’s mind feels like it’s going thousands of miles per hour right now and she literally can’t stop it. She just has a better poker face.
Her red face is basically talking for how the fuck she feels right now. You two are so different yet you’re the one moaning for her.
You’re the one who’s wet for her.
And Ellie doesn’t wanna fucking mess this up.
The room is filled with muffled moans and pants from both ends, you start to feel as Ellie’s lips latch onto your throbbing clit.
Every noise you make equally turns on Ellie. She’s so concentrated, eyes closed, a sweat band now prominent on her forehead.
“Right there” You moan, your hand grabs a fistful of Ellie’s hair shoving her nose, lips, and tongue deeper inside your pussy.
Ellie slides her index, then middle inside your dripping cunt. Causing a loud moan to come from you mouth.
Now you’re just internally praying Jesse and Dina are heavy sleepers because if they’d head ever fucking moan leaving your body right now.
Ellie’s hands are pulling you in by your outer thighs causing a shit ton more moans to leave your mouth. “F-fuck”
As Ellie’s fingers slip in and out your overboard. It didn’t last long till you felt a huge sense of euphoria course through your veins.
Fuck you came so hard you could have sworn you saw white.
Then as Ellie’s lips came smashing back on to yours and you taste yourself on her lips you moan more.
“Baby shh” Ellie says kissing you again.
But right now all you wanted was Ellie, you wanted to feel her, in the way she felt you. So you pull down her boxers and place her thighs so they straddle yours.
Your clits now lining up which causes a pretty loud moan from Ellie..
Her body falls limp on yours, smashing her lips on you once again, basically refusing to break it kiss. Despite the fact her clit is rubbing on yours, and she can feel her self going overboard she doesn’t pull back once from the kiss. She just keeps chasing it.
You two just swallow each others moans fighting the urge not to cum.
“F-fuck baby..” Ellie moans again. “I’m so close”Ellie says against your lips.
After you hear the words “I’m so close” leave Ellie’s lips you grab her hips rocking them back and forth aggressively.
Louder and more desperate moans fill the room, both of you saying mini praises.
And that was probably the thing that sent her over the edge because in no time after you literally only called her hot, there was a loud moan followed by warm liquid leaking down your cunt.
“F-fuck” Ellie stutters out of breath. All her body weight now on you, kissing your jaw lightly
You’re also out of breath. And you can hardly believe what the fuck happened.
Because sure you just slept with Ellie, came two times, but fuck was she good.
Everything Ellie did, it just felt better then the last. You didn’t want to lose her. It felt like you couldn’t.
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The way you woke up felt extremely unexpected. You feel a warm body pressed beside you, legs tangled and a pair of lips rested on your neck.
Fucking Ellie.
Her hair is now out of her normal ponytail which you hardly fucking see considering it’s only tied up. Her face is still red even though her eyes are closed and her breathing pattern is steady and slow. Which means she’s definitely still sleeping.
But when you least except it, her eyes are open and she smiles, the events of last night are dawning on her too. She doesn’t know what last night meant, but she’s happy..
“Hi..” Ellie smiles looking straight at you.
“Hi..” You say moving a loose strand of her hair and giving her a light kiss on her cheek. You also didn’t know what the fuck this was. You liked Ellie but maybe last night was a different idea for her.
More of a friends with benefits situation.
“Last night..I mean it was?” Ellie says looking at you.
“Was fun.” You smile nodding, Ellie was happy you didn’t say it was a mistake? But saying it was fun…that also felt odd? She doesn’t really know what she wanted you to say but that wasn’t really it.
You then sit up grabbing your shirt and shorts which conveniently were on your side of the bed. Ellie’s eyes trail your back and your side profile.
She then takes this as a signal to do the same. After both of you are clothed it finally hits how fucking awkward this whole situation was.
I mean you two were sorta drunk last night? At least that’s what you wanna blame it on, knowing damn well you were sober enough to realize what fuck you were doing.
“I don’t want it to be weird?” Ellie spit out practically reading your thoughts. “Like because of last night I mean”
“N-no me neither?” You instantly shake your head looking straight at Ellie. “I a-also don’t don’t want it to be weird.
Ellie doesn’t know what led her to lean in and kiss you after you finished you sentence but she did.
You also kiss her back, your hands trailing to the back of her neck, having Ellie take it as a sign it won’t be awkward.
“Breakfast?” You say looking at Ellie giving her a smile.
Ellie ties her hair in the fucking signature half up half down ponytail, shortly nodding “Yeah let’s goo”
Ellie grabs your hand taking you downstairs.
Dina’s and Jesses attention immediately shifts looking at your guys intertwined fingers then back at each other.
“We miss something orrr?” Jesse chuckles his eyes going up and down. Watching your intertwined hands then face.
“No!” Ellie shakes her head going to the kitchen island and sitting down neither of you wanting to let go of each other.
“Righttt??” Dina chuckles. “Last night then? You guys have fun?” Jesse says after Dina finishes her sentence.
Ellie shakes her head smiling, then denying anything that Jesse brought up. “Fuckkk off!!” Ellie smiles looking back at you.
Despite the teasing, whatever this was between you and Ellie. You were happy. And that’s all that really mattered.
————————————————————
AN -> OKAY! I know how I said I was gonna do angst this chapter but when I hit 5k words I had to tap out 😭
I didn’t feel like anyone would particularly wanna read an 8k fic so I stopped it early!
Regardless I have so much plans for the next chapter which will 100% contain angst and drama so please stick around! 🙏
I wanna just briefly mention I don’t really like writing smut because I feel like I’m bad at it? So sorry if anything is weird, too fast, or whatever idk?
I hoped you enjoyed reading and expect a new part maybe in a week? (again don’t hold be to that because i’m working on part 3 for Fated Hearts Start With Fire!) WHICH U SHOULD READ! 😘
Taglist : @bready101 @onlinelesbo @amberputh @seraphicsentences @a-little-bit-of-everybody @zoehxnji @cyb3rd0nguh @graviewaviee @i-feel-violated @elliesexual @macaroni676
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I know this seems like a weird question, but for the guys that are centaurs or driders or other creatures with a specific animal lower half, how does the reproductive system work? Since the human upper half stereotypically cuts off at about just below the stomach, physically it should function closer to the animal counterparts. But your posts give the impression that crossbreeding with humans is possible which would mean that the genitalia couldn’t be so adherent to animal counterparts that actually performing the act is impossible. I’m just very interested in the biology of this.
Not, weird at all, when you're a monster lover like me it's something you'll definitely think about when it comes to creature boys.
So, for a lot of them, their junk is similar to their animal counterparts but not exactly the same. Think bad dragon dildo's.
I talked about Sliver being a horse beasty but instead of making him a centaur, he has more of a sayter thing going on but with horse instead of a goat. Junk wise I would say it's similar to a horse but not exactly size-wise since that shit can rupture your organs. Why? it's more convenient like this. Not to say there aren't centaurs in this au, I just like things to not be too complicated since I'm lazy and not all that creative.
Cats and big cat predators have very painful bards that induce ovulation and keep you stuck for a while. The painful part is no fun, so I decide they have small nubs that do the same thing without tearing up your insides.
Knots only work if you have the right junk to go with it for sex, so they interlock properly but that's no fun for a human with a beast, so I decided that the knot works regardless.
Snakes have hook dick that, again, would be painful for a human so Jamil got that cool bad dragon snake dick with a slightly hooked tip going on.
All those reptiles, mers, birbs, and spooders that lay eggs? Well, it's only the female that lays them, but I like oviposition I decided all of those guys can and will egg you up. (With your consent of course.)
Image of spider below.
I figured for drider Idia the plates below where a dick would be could shift around when arousing and a cool weird inhuman dick comes out, but actually for male spiders one of those small legs that's in the front is basically his dick but not quite, their body makes the sperm and then transfers it into the specific appendage. It's called a pedipap.
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Not sure which to go with since the latter could be awkward since you're being fucking with a smaller than the other legs but not quite a small spider leg, but then again with Azul you would be getting screwed by one of his tentacle arms since one is his dick so it's not too weird when compared to the others and would make it easy to hold you while that arm/leg goes to town on you.
If you guys have your own ideas or headcanons of how some of it would work, please share, the reproduction process of creature's is very interesting to me regardless of kinky reasons.
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morningmask27 · 2 months
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I do sometimes find it really annoying that most of the things I do right now are At Least tangentially related to a trauma I lived through.
I am living in a university dorm right now, it's a very typical thing to do, but most people return to their family home during the weekends and only really stay in the dorms because they have classes in the week and having to go from their home to the classes, especially the 9 am classes, can be heavy if they live somewhat further away. I stay in my dorm the entire week. For Reasons I don't want to go back to my old home for longer than half a day to drop my laundry and leave with clean clothes, some food and a chat with my mother. I wouldn't feel good doing so anymore, but mentioning that is weird because most people (except internationals because going to a full on other country just for the weekend, every weekend, would be a bit dumb) return to their home (My dorm feels more like home to me right now than my old house did btw).
When I say I stay in my dorm people are somewhat confused, as it on its own already implies that something must not be that good at the familial home for me to not go there for the weekends. By the simple fact I don't go back it's already implied there is something wrong, and it's true, there Is something wrong, but I can't just start explaining the whole thing, it's not really appropriate for most conversations, and I simply don't want to open up about this part of my traumas. So I just have to quickly and very blatantly brush off that fact and the unpleasant implications to continue the conversation without making it awkward and it's so annoying.
Most of my weird trauma responses at least have the added thing that if I don't verbalize them nobody will really notice. I am good at hiding them, I kinda had to, but this dorm situation is such a blatant sign of something Weird (and not the good kind) that I cannot hide since my actions on their own imply a situation already.
I am somewhat good at dealing with all of these issues, brushing off The Problems is a typical part of normal conversations, but it does get frustrating sometimes when I get severely affected by something traumatic, and it's The Only reason that my problem happened, but I cannot talk about it in casual conversations because of how heavy and intense it is. I have to vaguely mention The Horrors (They Are Complex) and move on before I make my conversation partner uncomfortable. It happened when I had to miss a class because of a severe relapse in my mental health, it happens every time I mention I stay in my dorm the weekends, it happens whenever I get too jittery and weird because of stress (I don't even always know Why I am stressed) and I just cannot explain anything about the cause because it's too heavy for most people to hear. (I do understand that fact, it makes sense you're not going to tell classmates casually about the horrific stuff you went through in your personal life, but it fucking gets annoying when it is fully related to a situation and I have to Shut The Fuck Up anyway.)
It's just frustrating to me that I have to deal with all these Weird Things because of trauma, and everyone sees them, but I cannot explain where they come from truthfully because of how much they are. It's in this weird middle state where people See I am weird hurt, but they don't Know why. I do things differently for reasons they can assume are unpleasant, but I cannot ever truly explain everything to them.
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lovehandelreunion · 4 months
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i can't help but laugh when i watch the new p/jo show and it uses all of its effort not to deliver a good story, but to go out of its way to never use more of its vfx budget than absolutely necessary
finished episode 3 and not only do they turn medusa invisible to mime cutting her head off so they don't have to show it but they also have the turning a fury to stone be blurry through a window???
am i crazy? am i a hater?? am i living in an alternate reality where the show is just bad???
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AUGHHH PAIN AND SUFFERING I CANT REMEMBER THE NAME OF A BOOK I READ A LONG TIME AGO AND ITS KILLING MEEEE
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sttoru · 3 months
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.⌇ 𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒. it’s late at night and you try to cuddle with sukuna. keyword; try.
wc. 1.2k
tags. true form!sukuna x female reader. fluff, angst (+comfort). heian era. size difference (readers referred to as small). sukuna’s a bit mean, but he also has a soft spot for you. miscommunication ? it gets solved. reader gets called ‘woman, doll’.
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“what are you trying to do?” sukuna sighs. you’re up to something again, he figures. his red eyes follow your body as it crawls up to him on the bed.
you’re both tired after a long day of fulfilling some duties here and there around the estate. all you need is a big beefy man wrapping his arms around you to keep you warm and safe.
the perfect man for that is sukuna. those four arms of his wrapped around your small body feel like heaven.
“it’s called cuddling,” you retort. the sarcastic tone you used triggers a deep sigh from the sorcerer. sukuna holds back the urge to say something sarcastic as well.
he doesn’t utter a single word once you snuggle up to his chest. you’ve taught him how to cuddle during the first time you asked him to hold you. sukuna was awkward with showing any type of affection back then.
. . he still very much is.
“hug, please,” you remind him. the cold-hearted man scoffs, though listens to your polite request. all four of his arms imprison you against his chest, your small body nearly disappearing behind his limbs.
that’s what you like most about those cuddles you share together; how you fit so perfectly in his strong arms. it’s much more comforting than you thought it would be.
a pair of hands rests on your waist, the other pair on your hips. sukuna glances down at you and immediately notices that smile on your lips. even after all this time, he still cannot fathom why you’re so carefree around a monster like him.
and that inability to understand you and your love for him is accompanied by an urge to push you away.
“you got your hug, now get up,” sukuna interrupts the silence. his voice is cold and devoid of emotion—he uses that voice when he talks to other people. not with you, “i have better things to attend to.”
thus, it hurts. when he talks to you like that. like you’re not the person he secretly cherishes most. though, you remind yourself of sukuna’s own words. the ones you heard him say a while ago.
‘love is meaningless’, he said. you remember. and yet you kept hoping that he’d change his mind about that statement. you hoped and eventually saw exactly that: your presence and your affectionate gestures mellowed his heart of steel.
but all that effort seems to go down the drain every time sukuna pushes you away.
you know it’s because he’s unfamiliar with the feelings of love. he may not say it nor show it, but you know that sukuna’s afraid of hurting you. so, he creates a gap between you two every now and then.
you know and yet you’re patient.
“oh, ‘kay,” you nod in understanding. you pull away from his embrace and get up from the bed. your bottom lip trembles.
sukuna is not gullible. he’s anything but oblivious. especially if it’s about how you feel and act. he notices every single change in your mood; whether you mask it or not.
you walk to the sliding doors—ready to open them and step out into the hallway. your eyes are a bit watery, but you quickly blink the tears away and take a deep breath in. you reach for the door.
“come back here, woman.”
sukuna’s booming voice makes you stop. you glance at his form over your shoulder. he’s leaning against the headboard of the bed, arms crossed and eyebrows furrowed.
is he. . . upset?
“why? you said you had better things to attend to.” you answer with a shrug. you try your best to not make it seem like his earlier words had effected you. you turn your head towards the word with a huff, “go on, then.”
sukuna narrows his eyes. he sucks at communicating what he actually desires—what he actually wants. right now that want is for you to stay. even though that completely contradicts his previous words.
the sorcerer doesn’t know what to do. when you’re with him, he pushes you away out of guilt. when you’re away, he wants you back with him.
love is complicated.
“you. . .” sukuna grunts in frustration. all those feelings for you inside of his heart are playing with his rational thoughts. he doesn’t like seeing you upset. he wants the usual you back, “tsk. fine then.”
silence, followed by the creaking of the bed frame. seems like sukuna’s getting up to do whatever ‘business’ he needed to attend. at least, that’s what you thought.
you slide the door open and set a foot outside of the chambers. before the other could follow, you’re suddenly lifted up in the air by a strong pair of hands. your vision turns upside down as your body is effortlessly hoisted onto a shoulder.
“woah!” you gasp and feel the blood go to your head. your eyes are fixed on the back of your lover. you kick your legs in protest, but only get a smack to your ass in response. you whine at that, “put me down!”
“watch it, doll,” sukuna hisses at your fierce demand, a warning to fix your tone. he puts you back down on the soft mattress. he’s surprisingly gentle when he settles you in place—not throwing you on the bed or anything similar, “should’ve listened when i told you the first time.”
your eyes meet sukuna’s and you notice how much they’ve softened. that alone makes the lump in your throat disappear. your love for him isn’t one sided—you’ve always kept that in the back of your mind—yet your thoughts made you overlook the little things he does for you.
his actions speak louder than his words. that’s the kind of man he is.
sukuna’s trying to open up more, though that process is slow. you’re fine with that.
especially when there’s that faint pout on his lips as he stares at you. his eyebrows are still furrowed, his crimson eyes sharp yet warm.
“oh, you want me back in bed this bad?” you tease once you get the opportunity. the man in front of you clicks his tongue and grabs your cheeks with one hand, turning your head up to face him.
sukuna’s eyes are focused on yours. the eye contact is intimidating, but you’re hypnotised. you physically can’t look away. he leans in and bites your lip with his sharp canines, “shut up.”
that raspy whisper alone confirms your assumption. you giggle at his attempt of refuting your point. you’re used to all those intimidating words and actions he pulls to get you to stop your teasing.
those empty threats—it’s becoming rather cute with how hard he tries to deny everything. he fails nearly every time, however.
“come,” sukuna lays back against the pillows after placing a quick and sloppy kiss against your lips. he pulls your body against his and presses your head against his chest, right where his heart is beating, “continue with your.. ‘cuddling’ thing.”
he put your ear right above his heart, because he remembers listening to his heartbeat calms you down. you told him that a while back. sukuna doesn’t understand why you like it, but his fingers massage your scalp either way.
that’s also something that brings you comfort.
you’re surprised by how much he knows about you, but appreciate it anyway. he remembers both the big and small things about you. ‘that’s how he probably shows his love,’ you conclude silently.
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seonghwaddict · 30 days
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save a horse, ride your best friend — song mingi
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in which your best friend can’t believe you’ve never ridden a dick before, so he takes it upon himself to teach you.
best friend!song mingi x fem!reader. requested by anon. genre. slight fluff. smut. best friends to friends with benefits. warnings. explicit sexual content mdni, inexperienced!reader, thigh riding, fingering, use of a dildo, big dick!mingi, multiple orgasms, unprotected, creampie, swearing, nicknames (baby, angel, pretty). wc. 4k. rating. mature.
lilo’s notes. this was requested a while ago but i’ve been putting it off because… i’ve never written anything about toys being used so uh, i was worried about the pacing and stuff. i wasn’t sure if you meant for them to be in an established relationship, so i went for the fwb route. IMPORTANT!!!! i lost access to my google account bc of a stupid mistake, if you sent in a request through my google form and would still like me to see it, please send it as an ask <33 i remember a few of them, but do send yours in just in case!!
listening to. need to know, doja cat // if u think i’m pretty, artemas // moonlight, kali uchis
masterlist.
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it was a regular saturday evening. you were on a video call with your best friend, mingi, talking about anything that came to mind as you each ate a bowl of ramen as if you were really in the same room. he really only lived a couple buildings away, a two minute walk at most, but actually joining you in your apartment didn’t cross his mind until something interesting was brought up.
you weren’t sure what led to the conversation, but somehow it steered into the direction of something less innocent as you found yourself talking about an embarrassing date you’d gone on a while ago. recounting the story, laughing together, soon turned into a conversation about what each of you like in bed.
“oh, it’s just amazing,” mingi laughed as he gulped down a mouthful of water, momentarily pausing his rambling about how much he loves it when someone rides his dick. he ran a his hand through his short, washed-out pink hair, “honestly, my favourite thing ever since it probably feels just as good for whoever is, y’know, riding.”
based on everything he’s said so far, you came to the conclusion that he was more into giving than receiving, that he got off on seeing all the pleasure he can give his partner. so, it made sense he’d choose to mention the fact that riding him would feel good. not that you would know.
“can i admit something?”
he looked up from his bowl, sharp eyes looking almost hopeful as he nodded.
you looked around your kitchen jokingly, pretending to make sure no one sense was listened as you leaned closer a whispered, your hand cupping the side of your mouth.
“i’ve never done that before.”
his jaw dropped at that, letting out a small laugh. “you’re kidding.”
“no, really,” you insisted, going back to eating casually as if you were having the most normal conversation in the world with your best friend, “i really haven’t done… much, so i can’t confirm or deny your theory.”
“huh.” he leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms as he thought for a moment. his head tilted and it was then that you felt how warm your cheeks felt, how your thighs were pressed together under the counter. of course, he was well aware of the fact that you had much less experience than him, only knowing about two people you had slept with. but damn. he clicked his tongue and shook his head ever so slightly. “that won’t do.”
furrowing your eyebrows, you opened your mouth to ask him what he had meant by that. he beat you to it before you could get a word out.
“i can… teach you, if you want?”
you blinked at your screen, resting your wrist on your countertop and gripping your chopsticks a little too hard. a silence followed his offer, though it wasn’t awkward. in fact, he could see you genuinely considering it as you thought it over. eventually, you gave him a tiny nod.
“i mean,” you shrugged, shifting your eyes away shyly, “sure, i guess. why not?”
he grinned, trying to hide it as he shoved a mouthful of noodles into his mouth and shoved his bowl aside. he chewed, swallowed then got up and made sure to bring his phone with him. you recognised his hallways then bedroom as he walked through his apartment. “i’ll be there in like 15, i need to buy something on the way. just wait there, and where something comfortable and… um, accessible.”
you nodded, despite your confusion, and he hung up. accessible? you looked down at your clothing—or rather, lack thereof. since you were home and not expecting anyone, you’d settled on wearing just a shirt you stole from mingi that was too large for him and much larger for you, and panties. you lifted the hem of the worn shirt, assessing how much of your dignity you’d lose if he saw your pink hello kitty undergarments that you only wore if you were doing laundry.
you could already hear him giggling at the sight.
groaning and cursing under your breath, you dropped the shirt and sped to your bedroom to dig through your closet in hopes of finding something a little more appealing. after making a mess of one of your closet’s drawers, you finally pulled out a pair of less offensive panties. they were made of soft cotton; a muted light blue with thin white lace trim, the cut shaped more like a bikini than what you call your grandma underwear.
deciding they were flattering enough, you slipped off your hello kitty pair—ignoring the embarrassing amount of wetness creating a wet patch right where it was pressed against your core—and replaced it with the new pair. as you untwisted the waistband and adjusted it to fit properly, your doorbell rang and you froze on the spot before pulling yourself together and heading to open the door.
the walk to the door felt abnormally long as you stumbled over on wobbly knees. admittedly, you were a little nervous. sure, there have been times where you wanted to do some more than friendly activities with mingi, but you never actually thought it was happen. yet here you were, opening the door for him so he could come in and show you what being a cowgirl feels like.
“hey,” he greeted you softly, stepping into your home and closing the door behind him. you noticed a small plastic bag in his hand, eying it curiously as you watched him kick off his shoes and hang up his coat. once that was of the way, he took one of your hands in your free one and pulled you to where he knew your bedroom was.
once there, he set the bag down on your bedside table and dragged you to stand between his knees as he took a seat on the edge of your bed. he looked you over, lingering on the familiar t-shirt.
“so you’re the one that took this shirt, huh?” he quirked an eyebrow, glancing up at you as he released your hand and brought both of his to your hips. his thumbs caressed the curve of your waist over the shirt. “it was my favourite.”
you laughed softly, “clearly you didn’t care enough if i was able to keep it for three years without you noticing.”
“you little thief.” his nose scrunched as he glared at you jokingly, giving you a gentle squeeze.
“if you really want it back, you can always take it.”
“nah, it’s fine, keep it. it looks cuter on you anyway.” he took a breath and gave you another once over, humming appreciatively when he moved his hands up higher, dragging the shirt with it until he caught a glimpse of your panties. you tensed, caught off guard by how close he felt. “i need you to relax a little, how about i help you loosen up, yeah?”
you nodded, averting your gaze but returning it to him when you felt him pull you onto his lap. he slotted one of his legs between yours, easing you down to straddle his thigh. his hands ran up and down your sides and few times before resting on your bare thighs, your breath stuttered and he held back a smile.
“are you still okay with this?” he asked quietly, absentmindedly playing with the hem of his your shirt. “if i do anything that makes you uncomfortable, just tell me and i’ll stop immediately and we can just watch a movie or something, okay?” when you only nodded, he continued, “i need you to say it, please.”
“i’m okay with this,” you muttered in return, resting you hands on his biceps, “and i’ll let you know if i need you to stop.”
“good, now…” without waiting any longer, he leaned forward to attach his lips to your neck, his hands slowly beginning to rock you back and forth on his lap.
you sucked in a sharp breath and clung into his arms a little tighter, your stomach fluttering at the feeling of your clothed cunt on his firm thigh, your panties dragging against your clit with ease thanks to how wet you already were. he lifted you slightly as he pulled you towards him, pushing you down as he pushed, the varying pressure making your lips part in a soft whimper. he nearly groaned at the sound, moving his lips right below your ear.
“you know,” he rasped between the licks and kisses, “i can’t deny that i’ve wanted to fuck you for a long, long time now.”
“r-really?”
mingi chuckled as he pulled back to look at your face, half surprised and half needy. he noticed that if he relaxed his hands, you’d continue grinding against his thigh.
“yeah, really. i mean, look at you,” he glanced down, one of his hands lifting the hem of your shirt to watch you ride his thigh slowly, a dark wet patch forming right where your leaking pussy sat. he bit his lip, “you look so perfect… and i bet you’d feel perfect, too.”
you nearly whined at that, fucking yourself on his thigh just a little faster as he sucked a dark mark right above your collarbone before returning to mutter dirty words into your ear.
“i know practically everything about you and your cute little body, you know. better than anyone else,” one of his hands inched it’s way up your thighs, brushing against the edge of your panties, “i’ll make you feel so good, angel, i promise.”
“mingi?” you whimpered, prompting him to lean back a little to look at you with a curious tilt of his head and a raised brow. “if you don’t shut up and kiss me right now, i might lose my mind so… please.”
his beautifully plump lips stretched into a smile as he wasted no time in practically pouncing forward and smashing his lips against yours. it started a little slow as you got acquainted with each other, despite the fact you could feel a nearing orgasm as a knot in your stomach drew tighter with each roll of your hips, but soon the kiss turned hungry.
he groaned into your mouth as you let his tongue explore, making you let out a quiet moan. mingi knew he wouldn’t be able to kiss anyone ever again. you, his best friend of all people, had the most inviting lips he’s ever felt. so inviting, so perfect and so soft. he thought everything about was soft. his hand slipped just under the edge of your panties as his other one made your grinds slow down.
you didn’t mind the slow pace, knowing just a few more rocks of your hips would have you tipping over the edge. but he evidently had other plans as he finally made your hips still completely. you pulled away from his lips with a pout. if you were trying to make him feel bad, it backfired terribly.
all he could think of as he looks at your swollen, red, wet, pouty lips is how much prettier they’d look wrapped around his cock. but he could save that for another time.
“there’s no need to rush, baby,” he chuckled, wiping some saliva away from your bottom lip.
eventually, when he was sure you had calmed down enough, he lifted you off his lap a little and turned to lay you down on your back, pressed against the comfortable mattress as he kneeled on the edge. he gripped your knees and bent them, pushing them closer to your chest with his eyes zeroed in on where your slick was leaking through your panties.
with one hand keeping your knees together and elevated, he ran his other over the fabric, pressing down on where he knew your clot would be and elicit a sweet little moan as you squirmed beneath him. he thought you were so cute like this, you looked so flustered as he gave you nothing but featherlight touches where you needed him most. for now.
“don’t get all shy on me now,” he cooed as he glanced up and noticed you covering your face with your hands, “let me see you, pretty.”
he didn’t continue his touches until you finally removed your hands, giving him a nice view of your abused lips and round eyes, pupils blown wide with lust in a way that had something stirring in his abdomen. and his pants.
he let down your knees for a moment so both of his hands could slip under the waistband of your panties, slowly pulling them down your legs. he actually moaned when he saw the strings of arousal clutching onto the fabric as he dragged it away, snapping when he got too far.
“you’re so pretty, baby,” he murmured, watching your entrance squeeze around nothing, making more slick drip out.
after tossing it aside, he wasted no time in getting your knees back to the previous position and running his fingers through your folds.
“oh, fuck,” he groaned, eyes squeezing shut for a moment as you let out a moan when he tapped against your clit, “you’re soaked.”
he glanced up at you, wanting to see your face as he slowly pushed in too fingers and catching a glimpse of your hard nipples poking through your shirt. your face contorted for s fraction of s second before relaxing, your head tipping back against the mattress as you let out a whine.
he choked back a moan at the tight walls around his middle and ring fingers, the fingers of his other hand digging into your thighs. “sh-shit… you’re so tight. i’m gonna have to stretch you out first, okay?”
you nodded mindlessly, too distracted by his fingers prodding at your sweet spot to care about any words he may have said. but you furrowed your eyebrows and lifted your head when you felt both his hands leave you, finding him reaching for the bag. your curiosity outweighed your disappointment as he pulled something out.
it was a dildo. about as thick and long as the biggest person you had before, and made of what looked to be transparent silicon. your insides tightened at the sight, somehow the thought of him seemingly buying this just for you turning you on even more.
he returned to kneeling at the edge of your bed, leaning down to loop his arm around your waist and lift you up to place a pillow under your hips before letting lay back down.
“couldn’t find one my size, but this should be fine,” he held the dildo and ran the tip through your pussy, collecting wetness as you shuddered, “my cock will just have to stretch you the rest of the way.”
you breath hitched at the implication of his words. so he was bigger than that? your thighs pressed together at the thought of being completely stuffed by him. he chuckled, separating your knees enough for him to have a clear view of your pussy, pulsing and dripping and begging for his attention.
he began slipping the toy into you, filling you up inch by inch and watching your needy hole stretch around it and swallow it up. the sight had him choking back a moan, biting down on his bottom lip.
the stretch had your back arching and pushing yourself against it desperately, feeling like that alone could get you to finish. it only took a few deep strokes for your pussy to get used to the size, squeezing and writhing around it until you couldn’t handle it anymore. your arousal coated it quickly and seeped out with each stroke, squelching sounds filling the room that shot straight to his dick.
when you finally came, your toes curled and your body twitched as you let out a string of and whines and moans, little curses slipping between. he watched with fascination as you came undone right beneath him, not wanting to wait any longer to be inside you. he shoved the toy deep inside you, leaving it there as he leaned back for a moment to discard his clothes, slipping his hoodie and sweatpants off.
when you were brought back to your senses, you found yourself on his lap again, straddling his hips this time as he sat with his back against your headboard. you felt his erectile straining against his boxers and pressing against your core. you couldn’t help but rock your hips against his slowly.
“do you ever ride your pillow?” he asked suddenly, voice dropped what felt like two octaves lower than his regular tone. your eyes widened at the question but you nodded. he nodded too, his hands finding your ass and helping you grind against his clothes length. “this is a lot like that, except you have something in you… and it’s more of an up and down movement… and i’m obviously not a pillow… still, there’s really no right way to do it, just go slow and you’ll figure out what works and what doesn’t. plus, i’m here to guide you.”
he gave your ass a squeeze as if to punctuate his sentence, massaging the soft flesh in his palms. when you felt ready, you dropped your hands from his shoulders to his boxers, palming his length a few times before hooking your fingers into the fabric and dragging it down until his cock sprung out.
he definitely wasn’t lying when he said it would stretch you more than the already-big dildo. he was definitely a lot bigger than anyone else you’ve been with, well over average. you nearly dropped at the sight, wrapping your hand around him and jerking him off, eyes fixated on the angry red tip leaking precum as you passed your thumb over it.
the muscles of his abs rippled and squeezed as your worked your hands on his cock, his head thrown back against the headboard and letting out stuttering moans. all the sounds he made encourage you to sit up on your knees, guiding him through your folds and whimpering as you finally sank down on him carefully.
the two of you moaned at the same time, him at how well you squeezed around him and you at how well he stretched you. you stopped when you reached just halfway, unsure whether or not you’d be able to fit more. his hips jerked slightly as his hands squeezed your hips.
“come on, baby,” he moaned softly, looking up at you with encouraging eyes, “just a little more… we can make it fit, right? just breathe.”
you nodded and as you took a deep breath, he used his hold on your to sink you further down until he finally bottomed out. he cursed silently, the back of his head finding the headboard again as you whined and dropped yours onto his shoulder.
you felt his tip pushing against your cervix, the new feeling making a lump form in your throat as you blinked back tears. this time it took a while to get used to the stretch before you tried grinding back and forth. it was slow, almost painfully so. he was amazed that despite stretching you with two different things, you were still so unbelievably tight, hugging him in a death grip as your raised your hips an inch before dropping down again.
your soft noises were muffled by his shoulder as your hands rested on his biceps, panting and squeezing gently as every inch of him dragged against the sensitive spongy patch in your walls every time you grinded on him. soon enough you were able to lift yourself to his tip and drop all the way down, your wetness letting him slip in and out with ease.
still, you kept the pace torturously slow, savouring each bounce and grind. his hands had left your hips at some point, exploring your body under your shirt, massaging your breasts and tweaking your nipples. he lifted the fabric but kept it on your as he watched your tits bounce temptingly, your puffy pink nipples making his mouth water as he pushed himself forward to take one into his mouth.
your hips stuttered as he sucked and nibbled at your nipples, throwing your head back and arching into his touch as your grinds grew sloppy. he felt your decreasing pace, using the hand that wasn’t teasing your other breast to guide your hips once more. he angled you slightly differently in a way that made your clit press against his pelvis each time he bottomed out, the speed of your grinds picking up quickly as his hips bucked up to meet yours.
his lips detached from your bruised breasts with a popping sound as he leaned up to capture your lips in his once again. it wasn’t much of a kiss, more teeth and tongue and moans and groans than anything else as you swallowed each other’s sounds.
you finished first, pushing yourself down hard and stilling, filling yourself with his throbbing cock and pressing your clit against him. he held you tightly, burying his face in your neck to suck at all the spot he knew would get your to writhe. many tickling fights contributed to his knowledge on all your sensitive spots.
your body twitched as you returned to bouncing on his length, your juices looking at his base. the overstimulation burned a little, making your thighs and knees quiver, but you were determined to get him to finish too. and by the looks of it, it shouldn’t take much longer.
“shit, baby,” he said, halfway between a whimper and a moan, fingertips digging into your hips as he threw his head back in bliss, “‘m so close— fuck, you feel s-so good.”
his chest rose and fell with shallow breaths, bottom lip caught between his teeth. his cheeks and the tip of his ears flushed a deep red, his plush lips a few shades darker and coated in your mixed saliva from your kisses. as you adjusted the angle of your hips, something in him snapped, grabbing your hips tighter and taking over. he took over your movements, thrusting his hips up desperately as you fell forward onto his chest with the sudden change in intensity. his tip pushed itself against your g-spot continually, another knot tightening in your stomach.
the wet sounds of your cunt and your skin slapping against his egged him on until finally he felt like he couldn’t hold back any longer.
“baby, p-please— fuck— please, can i cum i-inside you?” he begged through a groan, “i— please, angel, i-i can’t wait any longer.”
you nodded against his chest with a whine, you were on the pill anyway. not a second later, he released into you, filling you up with stuttering hips. he pulled you down, flush against him and keeping you there as he emptied himself with softly muttered curses, his head dropping to press open-mouthed kisses to your shoulder.
it felt new to you, the warmth making you squirm until you came again without warning. it was much weaker this time but still enough to make you shake in his arms, panting softly after letting out a strangled moan against his skin.
after a few long moments of trying to recover from the shared orgasm, he lifted his head, one of his hands cupping your chin to tilt your head to look at him.
“so,” he started, lips stretched into a smile, “how’d that feel?”
“fucking amazing.” you rolled your eyes at how smug he looked after your confession, not protesting as he leaned forward to kiss you.
this one was much softer than the previous kisses you shared, much more tender. it was a lot shorter too, he pulled away first to rest his forehead against yours.
“yeah?” he whispered, kissing the corner of your lips, “just wait until i hit it from the back.”
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networks. @cromernet @wonderlandnet @cultofdionysusnet @pirateeznet
permanent taglist. @ad0rechuu @sankatchu @mlink64 @yeosangsbb @seonghwasbbgirl @likexaxdaydream @dreamingofyeo @yalyallic @yunhoswrldddd @coffee-addict-kitten @thunderous-wolf @chngbnwf
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katakaluptastrophy · 2 months
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I think what's so interesting about Gideon as a narrator at the anniversary dinner is the fact that there's clearly tensions that she's just not picking up on because she's only there to eat a dessert.
But these people are all the immensely powerful leaders of the Houses and consider themselves to be in competition for literal godlike powers and the favour of the emperor.
There's so many little snippets that are potentially intriguing: why is Teacher trying to prime the Ninth to consider the Fifth a threat? Why are the Third and the Sixth "sizing each other up like prizefighters"? The Fifth absolutely knew what they were doing when they sat the teen heads of the opposing cults near each other.
Through Gideon's lens, Magnus' speech is a little awkward jokey thing. But...the seneschal of the House that is known to be actively trying to absorb another House is saying it's such a shame they're all so remote from each other and what do they all have in common (and it's so quiet you "could have heard a hair flutter to the floor") - that had to feel a bit different to people who aren't Gideon.
Palamedes' is dissecting the meaning of "Master Warden" and at one point compares it to a prison warden. 'Dulcinea' asking about whether Magnus and Abigail have children is perhaps less small talk and rather more pointedly political. Harrow's apparently stilted conversation with Protesilaus is clearly her actually probing his limitations like he's a bad Chat GPT-run chatbot.
And then 'Dulcinea' tells Gideon she liked the dinner because it was "useful". In her typical "I never lied to you" way, Cyth wasn't lying when she said Abigail had to die because of her hobby - Abigail Pent let loose on the Facility would have risked blowing Cyth's cover sky high. But what does a Canaan House look like where after the dinner party, the Fifth go down to the facility, get a key, and survive to continue their 'the Houses are going to get along or else' agenda? We've seen Fifth House soft power on a smaller scale in HTN: and it looks like inviting a teenager round for coffee, lulling her into a false sense of security with small talk, and then physically preventing her from leaving the room until she does what you want, while smiling the entire time. A series of little coffee chats could probably have led to a lot of cooperation in Canaan House, one way or another.
Gideon jokes about Silas marrying Ianthe because of their similar colour pallete, but it does raise the fact that there seems to be some tension around the Third, its succession, and the *point* of Ianthe. Why is Silas openly saying Ianthe should have died at birth? Combined with Judith's comments in the Cohort Intelligence Files about succession on the Third, it feels like there's something else being said here that Gideon isn't picking up on.
And of course, Harrow wasn't the only one desperate to become a Lyctor because her con was unsustainable. Presumably at some point Corona and Ianthe would be expected to marry, or at least take on more separate roles as Corona prepared to take over the throne and Ianthe was funneled off elsewhere. At some point, their package deal would have become unsustainable and Corona's cover would have been blown. But much as Harrow wants to become a Lyctor so she can reveal the state of the Ninth without repercussions, Ianthe is probably in part motivated to become a Lyctor for the same reason. Because otherwise, what would Ianthe's expected role have been? Amidst the suggestion of anxiety about the Idan succession, the dinner party also presents the fact that the reason Abigail and Magnus' infertility isn't a succession crisis for the ruling family of the Fifth is that Abigail's younger brother dutifully married in his early 20s and had kids. We know there are branch families in Ida - Babs is from one. He may be a prince, but he's not treated well, and you do get the sense that the stakes to stay in power in Ida are high.
We don't learn anything about the political situation in the Houses themselves during HTN or NTN, but in the wake of Canaan House, you have to suspect there are a number of tensions and concerns.
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dokyeomini · 1 year
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when i first learned what personal boundaries /are/ i had a lot of realisations in a short amount of time and there certainly were some changes in who i kept as my friends. and all of this was super awkward to navigate (it was hs)
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bratphilia · 6 months
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overtime (m. schmidt x reader)
request: "Hey ! Just discovered your account and I love your writtings ! I was wondered if you could write a smut and romantic thing with mike ? I dont have any specific context and all its up to you ! <3"
note: ty sm for showing love to my work and for requesting!! i finally was able to write something actually sweet with mike for the first time lmao.
pairing: mike schmidt x reader
tags: small age gap, fingering, missionary
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after putting abby to sleep, you fell asleep yourself in front of the tv. you couldn't help it! it was a long night of cooking spaghetti for abby (and ordering pizza, per her request), helping her build a fort, and coloring with her inside it. abby's a sweet kid, but babysitting has always tired you out in general. plus her older brother, your boss, started working the graveyard shift at his new job, so it would be unfeasible for you to not go to sleep during your time spent over there.
you woke up to the chair next to you being shifted in, and open your eyes to see mike sitting there, running a hand through his hair with a sigh. you feel embarrassed that you fell asleep on the job and quickly explain yourself. "i'm so sorry for falling asleep, i was just—"
he looks at you. "no need to apologize. i don't expect you to wait all night long for me."
awkward silence fills the air. well, that settles that. god, he's so cute, you think, even all stressed out and with bags under his eyes. he's also been nothing but kind to you since the two of you met. always concerned with how you're doing, how school is holding up, and just generally about your wellbeing. you try to do reciprocate as it's obvious mike doesn't have a lot of people in his life doing the same for him.
you're the first to break the silence. "uhm, there's leftover pizza in the fridge... you know, in case you want any..." you comment, not quite sure what else to say to him.
"oh! thank you," he says. "did abby ask you to..."
"make her spaghetti and order pizza? yes, she absolutely did."
both you and mike laugh. "i'll make sure i can pay you back for that. you really didn't have to—"
"mike," you interrupt, "seriously, don't worry about it. i understand your situation and i want to help you."
mike looks at you gratefully, almost lovingly.
"y'know—"
"so, i should really—"
the both of you talk at the same time. "oh, sorry, you go."
you smile gently. "no, you go. i was just going to say i should hit the road."
he runs a hand through his hair again, eyes darting across the room bashfully. "well i — uh, i just wanted to say thank you for all you do for abby... and for me. it means a lot. you're very... kind."
your smile widens at his awkward choice of words, but it deeply touches you that he appreciates you. you place a hand on top of his. "of course, mike. i'm always here for you."
mike looks at your hand and inhales deeply through his nose. "will you — will you stay for just a little while longer?"
before you know it he's on top of you on the couch, slamming his middle and ring finger inside you while you bite back moans. "gotta be nice and quiet for me, sweetheart. can't wake abby up, okay? or else i gotta stop and neither of us want that," he whispers to you sweetly.
instead of letting you respond, mike presses his lips against yours in a deep kiss while he continues to finger you. you break apart to quietly call his name, letting him know that you're close.
much to your dismay, he pulls his fingers out before you can come. "mike, please," you whisper.
"please, what, honey?" he teases.
you squeeze your thighs together, trying to relieve the tension in your core. "please fuck me already."
mike presses his forehead against yours, breathing sharply as he slowly pushes inside you, inch by inch. you bite your lip to keep yourself from crying out as your pussy swallows his hard length.
as he begins to move, he also clearly struggles to keep his noises to a minimum. as a solution, he envelopes you in a kiss as he moves inside you. his pace gradually increases from gentle to faster. the feeling is absolutely delicious.
he can feel your pussy spasming around him and his own dick pulsing too. he uses the hand caging you in on the couch to hold yours as he continues to fuck you.
"feel so good around me, baby," he whispers hotly. "you have no idea what you — ngh — do to me. every time i see you i always think about fucking you like this."
"mike," you moan quietly. his words only encouraged you.
his name becomes a whispered chant falling from your lips as he fucks you through your own orgasm. he's sure to pull out and come on your stomach while he pumps himself.
mike wipes the sweat off of his forehead and sits up so your legs lay over his lap. "sorry for pushing you into overtime," he jokes.
you give a small laugh. "no worries. it was my pleasure."
mike shakes his head at your dumb joke. then his smile fades and he looks at you seriously. "is it... too early to say that i love you?"
you lean up and meet his lips in a kiss as your answer.
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horangare · 7 months
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lucky girl
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pairing : model!jeonghan x fem!reader
content : smut (mdni), angst, fluff, fake dating, unrequited (but not rlly) love, friends to strangers to lovers
in which : jeonghan has no interest in a relationship, however it seems that everyone else is sticking their nose into his nonexistent love life. you’ve been in love with him for as long as you can remember, but that was ages ago. he shouldn’t remember someone like you, but he does. and he wants you to be his girlfriend (just for a little while though, right?)
warnings : public sex TWICE (this mf fucks u everywhere but a BED), couch sex (see what i mean???), oral (m & f receiving), unprotected sex (be safe i’m begging), idiots in love vibes like so strongly you two are dorks fr, dirty talk, y’all want each other so bad, praise, cockiness, like one innuendo, a bunch of other idols make features in this (twice, txt, le sserafim, and svt ofc), mentions of rehab, crying, “arguing”, jealousy, pining and yearning and things of that nature
wc : 14.9K words
note : this took me so much longer than i thought it would but it’s finally here 😭😭 written from this request
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Junior year of highschool is when you first fell in love with Yoon Jeonghan.
You were the new girl. The transfer student. The awkward, hormonal, sixteen year old girl who felt oh so small in such a big school. The nobody.
Pretending like the lingering stares, the pointing, the whispering—all of it—was just a figment of your imagination was easy. You had been used to tuning things out. At acting like it didn’t phase you.
Private school was different than public school. Too different. The only reason you were in this place is because you were sent to live with your aunt because of the fact that your mother was in rehab and your dad wasn’t in the picture. Many of the public schools in the area weren’t the best, so she pulled some extra money from her savings to send you one of the nicer, private schools.
You were grateful, for her concern regarding where you went to school, but the huge contrast from transitioning to this new place was anything but easy. You may have looked just like everyone else, but you never felt like them. A bunch of self obsessed, privileged, stuck up rich kids. Yeah, you weren’t that. Not by a long shot. It’s like they could tell you didn’t belong here, but you already knew that.
All of them except for him.
Jeonghan had heard the mumbled talk of your arrival since he arrived on campus. He didn’t get what the big idea was. New kids came all the time, bought their way in with mommy and daddy’s help. Each and every other student here was one in the same. Predictable. Boring.
“Shit, look, there she is,” Joshua whispered amongst the small group of boys, his head jerking in your direction. The rest of them—Minghao, Mingyu, Soonyoung, and Jeonghan—all spared you a single glance or two.
Minghao chuckled dryly. “She’s gonna get eaten alive.”
"She's kinda hot though, don’t you think?" Soonyoung mumbled, trailing his eyes over your body. "That skirt is way too small for her."
“It’s like six in the morning. Can you not be horny right now?” Mingyu sighed, yet Soonyoung’s gaze remained on you until you disappeared from his line of sight. Jeonghan remained silent.
Joshua nudged his friend. “What? You have nothing to say?”
“What is there to say?” Jeonghan asked, swirling around his iced coffee that had been way too expensive to taste so cheap. “She’s a girl and she’s new.” Soonyoung booed him, loudly, attracting the attention of other passing students.
“You’re no fun.” He said and crossed his arms. Jeonghan gave him no response. “Whatever. How long do you think she’ll last?”
“I’ll give her until the end of the day,” Mingyu nodded. The others looked at him in disbelief, which made the boy roll his eyes. “What? I’m an optimist.”
Soonyoung hummed in thought, weighing his available options. “Four hours max.”
Minghao shook his head. “Two and a half.”
“I’m gonna say…One hour.” Joshua added. Then they all turned their heads to Jeonghan. He didn’t respond until the staring became unbearable.
“God, you’re all such pessimists, you know that?” He scoffed. “I’m not doing this with you today.”
“You have faith in her,” Minghao teased, poking the older boy in the side. “You’re so easy to read.”
“Cut that shit out.” Jeonghan hissed, pushing away Minghao’s hand. Minghao, Mingyu, and Joshua giggled. He was so easy to piss off.
“I’m gonna go talk to her,” Soonyoung cracked his knuckles with a confident—bordering on arrogant—smile.
“Seriously, don’t—” Minghao sighed, but the other boy was beyond reason. By the time he even said anything, Soonyoung was literally in your face.
The expression on your face was pensive, relaxed even. Until…
“Hey, new girl.”
You looked up, your eyes looking over him with disinterest. Soonyoung cleared his throat when you didn’t reply, running his hand through his hair in an attempt to relieve the awkward atmosphere.
“I’m Soonyoung, but you can call me Hoshi.”
“No.” You deadpanned.
His eyes widened. Were you serious? He could hear the others trying to keep in their laughter behind him.
“Is there something you need?” You asked, raising one of your eyebrows. Soonyoung stammered, only managing to speak the words “I…” or “what?” before he sighed and lowered his head.
“Hoshi, are you done making yourself look stupid yet?” Mingyu shouted, stopping between almost every word so he could laugh. By now, there was an even bigger scene being made by Mingyu’s additional comment, much to your embarrassment.
“Excuse me,” you mumbled to him as you scurried off to the bathroom, leaving not only Soonyoung shocked but also the little audience you had gathered shocked as well.
“Wow, what a smooth talker.” Joshua clapped, a wide grin on his face. “She was all over you.”
Minghao giggled. “I recorded the entire thing. Hey, who should I send this to first?”
“Oh fuck off,” Soonyoung hissed, his face flushed with embarrassment. “Nobody needs to see that shit.”
“Right, like half the school hasn’t already.” Jeonghan gestured to the multitude of people still lingering around in the hallways, huddled in groups whispering about the events that had just happened. Glancing at Joshua after you were gone, he smirked.
“So?” Joshua asked. “What’s your judgement?”
Jeonghan sipped the last of his drink, shaking it around and poking at the ice with his straw to see if there was any left. When he discovered none, he discarded the cup in the trash and crossed his arms over his chest. “I like her.”
You spent very little time in the bathroom, your visit only being to calm your nerves and steady your thoughts, but you didn’t expect to see the same boy and the rest of his friends huddled outside the bathroom waiting for you.
Wide-eyed, you stared between the five of them.“Um…hello?”
“Hi!” Mingyu smiled at you brightly, side eyeing Jeonghan when he nudged him aside. A quiet gasp slips past your lips; this boy was gorgeous.
“I assume you have a name? Or should we continue calling you new girl?”
“My name…?” You repeated, feeling your body growing warm at the proximity between the two of you. “Oh, my name. I’m [Y/n].” Jeonghan nodded, and then he smiled at you. You felt even hotter now. A little dumb, too, certain that you were embarrassing yourself.
“That’s cute,” he said, still smiling softly. Jeonghan threw one of his arms over your shoulder, keeping you close to him as he and the rest of his friends started to walk down the hallway. “So then, you’ll sit with us at lunch, right [Y/n]?” You stared at him, dumbfounded, unable to believe that he was actually being serious with you. Soonyoung, finding this funny, couldn’t help but laugh.
“Who’s stammering now?” He quipped, earning him a glare from Jeonghan. Soonyoung didn’t speak again.
“Sit with you?” You asked again, and Jeonghan nodded. “Are you sure?” Everyone’s eyes seemed to be on you as you were basically escorted down the hall with Jeonghan at your side, except this time it wasn’t your imagination. For some reason it felt like you were being stared at now more than ever.
“Of course we’re sure.” Joshua reassured you. When he looked close enough to fully take in the look on your face, he gave you a smile that was full of sympathy. “Ignore them. They’re all assholes. We’re the nice ones!”
Joshua was right, in a way. Jeonghan and his friends were the nicest group of assholes you’ve ever been associated with. It was one of those “mean to everyone except you” type of dynamics, especially with Jeonghan himself. You knew it wasn’t wise to, but you couldn’t help how your heart would beat faster whenever he was around since he only seemed to regard you as a close friend and nothing more.
You also couldn’t help but notice that he was as oblivious as he was cute. The others noticed, (Joshua was the first, obviously, then Minghao, then Mingyu, and then Soonyoung, who was heartbroken that you’d choose Jeonghan over him, and you didn’t know if he was joking or not) but he seemed like the only one who couldn’t get a hint. Even when you were being as direct and obvious as possible, Jeonghan still remained as unaffected by your affection as a white crayon did on white paper.
By senior year, you and Jeonghan started to grow apart. It was gradual, falling out of touch with one another as the last school year just passed you both by, until it seemed like Jeonghan was once again nothing but the cute boy you knew nothing about like he had been on your first day. The rest of the boys were devastated, Joshua most of all.
Aside from you, it seemed like he was the one who wanted Jeonghan to quit being dull and realize you liked him. Just tell him already, that’s what he’d always say. You always said you would, only to end up doing the opposite.
What if Jeonghan didn’t feel the same way? What if it destroyed your friendship? What if he never wanted anything to do with you after you told him? Each question seemed more unbearable than the last. It was easier to love him than to lose him.
The last time you saw him was at graduation. After the ceremony, roaming around the parking lot past all the smiling families taking pictures of their children with their brand new diplomas, looking for your aunt’s car—you ran into him.
“[Y/n]!” He called out to you, waving both of his arms in the air to draw your attention. He hugged you once you were close enough, squeezing you a little bit. “I’m sad now, we’re not going to see each other every day anymore,” he pouted, and you smiled, even though the thought of that saddened you just as much.
Having him act so naturally with you threw you for such a loop. Talking to him like this made it feel like your friendship hadn’t come to an end, like you two were old friends who had never been apart.
“Don’t be sad. I’m sure we’ll run into each other again.” You continued to smile, trying hard to make sure it didn’t look fake. You needed to believe what you were saying if you wanted him to do the same. Luckily for you it seemed effective, because Jeonghan’s face soon broke into a smile as well before he held his pinky up to you.
“Promise?”
Now you were smiling for real. Jeonghan, at the ripe age of eighteen, still believed deeply in pinky promises. They were sacred, never to be broken, those were his words. Others may have found him childish for this, you found it noble.
Nodding, you linked your pinky with his. “Promise.”
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The promise you made with Jeonghan turned five today. Five years since senior year ended, five years since you made that promise with him, five years since you’ve seen Yoon Jeonghan’s face in person.
Now you saw him everywhere; on billboards, in ads, plastered on posters in the windows of just about every store—everywhere you went, Jeonghan’s face was sure to be there.
He was certainly doing better than you, no doubt. Odds are he wouldn’t even recognize you anymore. You worked at the local Ihop, drive your aunt’s old Toyota Camry, trying to save up enough money to move out of her house and into your own apartment.
You had wanted to attend college, even if only for a little, but your aunt only had enough money stashed away to send you to that ridiculously pricey private school, not to mention room she was already taking care of you for your mom while she was still…away, and you couldn’t afford to go into debt or pay anyone back.
So while Jeonghan walked runways in Milan and New York, you stayed in town and missed him every time his name was mentioned by one of your coworkers, forcing away the feelings you harbored for him.
Something like that was bound to happen to him, though. He was already so handsome, and his parents no doubt had the connections needed to allow something like that for their son. You were happy for him. Even after all this time, you continued to remain his biggest supporter. You’d buy every product he endorsed, watch any content he was featured in, and you’d stare at his pictures in awe, unable to believe that he just always seemed to get more and more good looking.
To Jeonghan, it was different. He enjoyed the attention. He liked being told by other people how handsome he was. He liked having people who adored him. But that was about it. Not once did he enjoy waking up early, rushing from shoot to shoot, sitting through meetings, none of it. He could live without the pressure to keep smiling, or the nagging from his parents, or—worst of all—the questions on his love life.
Jeonghan had never dated anyone since becoming a model, not even in private. There were zero scandals regarding a romantic relationship when it came to him, but the media was still unconvinced. He wondered how or why they always found the time to be so nosy. Why couldn’t they understand that’s just not what he was looking for right now?
“So Jeonghan, I think you all know the question on every one of our minds, right?” Jihyo asked with a smile, shifting around in her seat a little. Jeonghan responded with his convincing fake laughs—he had to have them mastered by now after all the invasive questions he’d constantly be asked by people like the paparazzi, or in this case, talk-show hosts. “Is there a special girl in your life that you’re hiding from us?”
The audience erupted into a fit of “ooo’s” and “aah’s” all while Jeonghan tried to hide his discomfort with the subject. “Honestly, Jihyo? There really is nobody right now. I’m just…not interested in dating.”
“Oh, come on! Are you sure you’re not seeing anyone in secret?” The sound of Jihyo’s laughter echoed through the studio as is blended with the reactions from the audience. Jeonghan laughed along with her, wondering how much longer he’d be here. He’d already had to have a long meeting with his parents and his agency this morning, then done a product endorsement for a cosmetics brand afterwards, and now he was here, entertaining Jihyo and her live studio audience. Today was relatively low maintenance for him, so after he left here there was only one thing he wanted to do before going home; eat.
Jeonghan shook his head, a small smile on his face. “If I were seeing someone, they wouldn’t be a secret.”
Jihyo’s face lit up in surprise, her mouth parting as she took in his response. “Wow! It seems like Jeonghan is that kind of boyfriend, huh?” Various reactions came from the crowd, most of them being screams of Jeonghan’s name praising him for his response. “All right, that’s all the time we have for today, but tune in tomorrow to hear Jo Yuri talk about her acting debut! That’s all for now!”
“Alright, that’s it people! Let’s wrap it up!”
Jeonghan exhaled with relief, saying a polite goodbye to Jihyo before he excused himself off the set and to his car. He cursed when he noticed how dark the sky was beginning to get. Most of the places he wanted to go would be closing by now. He thought hard to remember the places that stayed open late, then remembered that the local Ihop was always open. He wasn’t the biggest fan of the place, not by a long shot, but he’d just have to suck it up for the sake of his hunger.
Business at work had been slow today. It was only Monday, and you never got too much of a crowd during the start of the week, especially not when it was so early in the morning. Chaewon had suggested the two of you take a short break in the bathroom (though knowing her, she just wanted to gossip).
“No way, [Y/n]. You’re telling me you really knew Jeonghan in high school?” Chaewon asked you, leaning against the bathroom sink as she brushed some of her hair out of her face. “What was he like?”
You shrugged as you washed your hands. “He was nice. Well, he was nice to me.” This made Chaewon gasp and grab onto your shoulder, pressing her lips together to try and hide the smile creeping onto her face.
“Oh my gosh, he was totally into you!”
Yoon Jeonghan? Into you? You laughed dryly, really finding your friend’s enthusiasm cute, but at the same time you seriously doubted it. If what he said in those interviews were true, there was no chance. He wasn’t interested in dating; in relationships altogether.
You were just about to respond to her when the door to the bathroom flew open. Sakura, your manager, was standing in the doorway staring at the two of you like she’d caught you doing something you shouldn’t have.
“What are you two still doing in here?” She asked. “Someone is waiting to have their order taken.”
“Coming,” you sighed, patting your hands dry with three paper towels too many and rushing out behind Sakura. You approached one of the booths closer to the entrance, notepad in hand. “Welcome to Ihop, what can I—”
The person sitting in the booth lowers the menu, and time seems to stop. He looks up at you. You look down at him. It was like neither of you could believe you were seeing each other in this setting, of all places.
“Jeong…han?” You mumbled, blinking rapidly to see if he was really the person sitting there. He couldn’t really be here, could he? But then he smirked and you were convinced; he was real.
“It’s good to see you too, [Y/n].” He muses, flipping back and forth through the menu a few more times before setting in down on the table. He soaks in the dumbfounded look on your face with an overly smug smile. “Don’t just stand there, sit.”
“I’m the waitress, I can’t just—”
“Sit.”
You slid down into the seat across from him without missing a beat. A part of you felt embarrassed for giving into him so easily, the part of you with dignity.
“What are you doing here?” You asked, which got you an amused laugh from Jeonghan.
“I’m hungry, [Y/n]. Why else do people come to Ihop?”
Well, it was good to know he was still a smart ass after all this time. Even if you were attracted to him, then and now, you still couldn’t help but roll your eyes. “Okay, you know that’s not what I mean.”
Jeonghan tilted his head to one side. “I live here too, remember?” Then he sighed and laughed weakly. “Has it really been that long?”
A frown found its way onto your lips. Maybe it has been that long, it was like Jeonghan was suddenly a stranger to you even after the time you’d spent together in school. Thinking about that made something inside of you ache.
“I guess it has.” You mumbled. Your eyes remained locked on the table and not Jeonghan, not even when he started to give you his order. Sliding out of the seat, you gave him your usual service industry smile. “I’ll be right back with that.”
You scrambled to the kitchen, handing off the order to the cooks. “Hey, Chaewon, can you go bring the customer out there his drink?”
Slightly skeptical, Chaewon glanced down at the glass in your hand yet took it anyway. “Why can’t you go bring it to him? You already took his order.”
“Just help me out, okay? Just this once?” The girl sighed, mumbling under her breath as she exited the kitchen. You try to take this moment to finally catch your breath and calm your nerves, but it’s quickly ruined when you hear a shriek, followed by Chaewon running back to the kitchen, a starstruck look on her face.
“Yoon Jeonghan is in our restaurant,” she says, her hand clutching the front of her shirt. “And he’s asking for you, [Y/n].”
Of course he’s asking for you. There was no way you’d get out of this little reunion with him so easily. Jeonghan never let things be simple, you’d learned that quickly from your time being friends with him.
“Just bring the food once it’s ready, Chae,” you muttered, walking out of the kitchen and back to the booth Jeonghan was seated at. He looked up at you, pointing to the spot across from him, and you sat. “Is there something you want from me, Jeonghan?”
“Just some company,” He replied with a faux pout. He noticed that you were still looking at him like you could see through his lie, so he shrugged and smiled. “Okay, fine. I really did come here to eat, but I do need help with something else too.”
Raising your eyebrows, you urged him to continue. “I need you to be my girlfriend.” If you had opened your eyes any wider, they probably might have popped out of your head.
“W-What?” You shouted. Jeonghan put one of his fingers to his lips to shush you, which only helped to get you quiet and not to calm your racing heart. “But you’re always saying…”
“Listen,” He held one of your hand with both of his. “I know, I know. I’m always saying I’m not looking to date right now. But that’s exactly why I need you. I’m hoping to get everyone off my fucking back even if it’s just for a little while. Once the news of our relationship dies down, we can call it quits.”
You felt like this was a really vivid dream; like your subconscious was playing an elaborate trick on you and that none of this was actually real. Jeonghan squeezed your hand and looked at you expectantly. This must’ve been really important to him, and he was counting on you. Curse your simple heart, seven years had passed and you still felt like the love struck sixteen year old you were when you first met him.
This was a bad idea. No, this was a terrible idea. You should tell him that. There is no way you should say—
“Okay, fine. But only until the news dies down.”
Jeonghan grinned, visibly pleased with your response.
“I knew I could count on you.”
Thinking with your brain was always hard for you to do whenever you even thought about him, so having him make such a large request of you was basically keeping you from acting with any sort of rationality.
But Jeonghan didn’t need to know all that. You propped your elbow up on the cool surface of the table and leaned your head into the palm of your hand, swallowing down your apprehension. “What are friends for?”
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When you woke up the next morning, the only thing on your mind was Jeonghan. Your interaction with him at your job hadn’t been a dream. He had asked you to be his (pretend) girlfriend, and you had agreed. You partly regretted the decision like you would a hangover, knowing that you still had feelings for him and telling him you’d go along with his plans could only end so many ways. You’d have to stop thinking with your heart so often.
In your moment of doubt, you received a text from Jeonghan. After he had finished his very late lunch yesterday, he tore off a piece of the receipt and scribbled down his phone number on it for you to keep, leaving you behind with a generous tip and a fuzzy feeling in your stomach. Fucking butterflies.
He’d also left you a very lovely, romantic text.
I’m picking you up at 7:45.
Ever the charmer. You checked the time; it was exactly 7. You groaned and hoped that this wouldn’t become an everyday thing, you didn’t even go into work this early.
Jeonghan ended up arriving outside your aunt’s house ten minutes later than he said he would, which only made you feel dumb for racing against the clock to make yourself look presentable.
He kept his eyes on you as you buckled up. “Good morning.” You side-eyed him, just barely making out the stupid lopsided grin on his lips.
“For you, maybe.”
“You’ll get used to it, I already have.”
So this would be an everyday thing. Great.
Accompanying Jeonghan around had given you a unique perspective on your own life. You had already thought there was a lot on your own plate, but Jeonghan, you weren’t sure how he handled it all. Sitting through meetings, fittings, hair and makeup, and photoshoot after photoshoot was tiring you out and you weren’t even the model.
You did like the rush of pride you got whenever Jeonghan introduced you as his girlfriend. Getting to see the shocked look on the faces of the people who worked beside him made you feel like you were important. If you didn’t have to get up so early all the time, maybe this was something you could get used to.
“It’s boring, right?” Jeonghan said, pulling you out of your thoughts.
“What do you mean?”
He sighed, waving away the man that was wiping off his makeup. “The sitting around, the waiting, all of it. You’re bored, aren’t you?”
You raised one of your eyebrows. “Why would you think I’m bored?” You asked. “Are you bored?”
“Obviously,” he scoffed in reply. “I would’ve rather done pretty much anything else. I mentioned being a model, like, one time and they just went with it. I didn’t wanna argue with my parents, though.” He shrugged, and that was it.
There was a sudden awkward tension in the air with Jeonghan’s overly honest confession. You glanced at the man who was in charge of removing his makeup, sharing a sheepish look with him before breaking eye contact. He was two for two on the eye opening revelations today, and you weren’t too sure you could handle a third.
Clearing your throat, you tried to think of a way to steer the conversation into a different direction. “So, uh, where to after this?”
“The gym. I would’ve gone tomorrow but Joshua said he’d meet me there.”
Finally, a break in this drag of a schedule of his. And you’d get to see Joshua. You could feel your boredom melting away like ice on a hot day as you got up and stretched.
“I’ll be in the car.”
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So, about the visit to the gym…
It was fine at first. Normal. You greeted Joshua, hugged him, expressed how good it was to see him and how much you had missed him after all this time, and he smiled and done the same.
Speaking of Joshua, he had almost screamed when Jeonghan mentioned that you and him were seeing each other, and when he looked at you to confirm that he was telling the truth, he did scream, earning him confused and concerned stares from the people around you. Lying to him warded off the happy feeling you had built up on the way over here in a heartbeat, so you stayed silent for the duration of his workout with Jeonghan.
“Shit, dude, I gotta go. Something just came up,” Joshua apologized quickly and rushed out of the building, leaving just you, Jeonghan, and a small handful of other people rich or important enough to get into this private space.
You weren’t sure why, maybe it was the hot, sticky air of the gym. Maybe it was Jeonghan sitting there, all sweaty and panting and looking at you with that stupidly sexy smirk on his face. Maybe it was a bunch of other things you couldn’t bring your mind to conjure up the words for, but something was about to happen, you could feel it.
“I should shower.” Jeonghan suddenly said, parting his sweaty body from the machine he had been occupying. His eyes flashed with something you couldn’t quite place. “Wanna join?”
That’s the short version of how you ended up pressed up against the wall gym shower, your back to Jeonghan as he took you from behind. Your head spun with desire and a dash of shame. Even though it felt really good, you hadn’t even kissed Jeonghan once since declaring your status as (fake) girlfriend and boyfriend.
“Oh, baby. If I had known you felt this good I’d have done this ages ago,” Jeonghan moaned into your ear, and you could feel your knees buckle under you. That sweet-talking mouth of his would definitely be a problem for you, you were calling it now. Hearing such vulgar comments fall from his lips so naturally made you wonder why he was so good at this.
“F-Fuck, Jeonghan. Don’t stop…” The tiles of the small shower felt cold and wet against your skin, the feeling being the only thing keeping you somewhat grounded. Jeonghan’s hands held your hips tightly when you almost slipped as he mumbled something about being careful. If you weren’t in this position you’d have slapped him. “You’re not funny.”
Jeonghan isn’t bothered by your remark in the slightest. He snaps his hips forward, loving the way you gasp and push yourself back to meet his thrusts. He really thought you looked cute like this, so easily losing your composure because of him. He knew about the effect he could have on people, but none of them mattered now that he saw how you reacted to him. “Tell me how it feels baby.”
“So good, Jeonghan. F-Feels so fucking good.” You whined, your mine tuned in on the feeling of his wet skin against yours and the sounds of both of your moans.
“That’s right, feels so good. You’re so cute, you know that?”
Your muscles clenching around his cock when he said that was the one thing that seemed to have Jeonghan lose his cool. He nestled his face in the crook of your neck, kissing and sucking at the skin there while he rubbed your clit in fast circles, urging you closer and closer to the bliss of your release.
“Gonna…I’m g-gonna—” You try to say only to be cut off by your own hoarse wail of Jeonghan’s name as your orgasm hits you. Afraid that you might fall, Jeonghan holds onto you even tighter all while continuing to fuck you through your high. He glances down, biting his lip at the sight of the white ring forming at the base of his cock and the streaks of cum streaking down your inner thighs. Never did he think a visual so filthy would get him off, but he couldn’t help but bite your shoulder and curse quietly as he felt himself cum.
The water had gone cold by now, making the realization of just how long you’d been in here weigh heavy on your mind. Jeonghan squeezed one of your hips before he pulled out of you and stepped out to find some towels. You turned off the cool water, leaning back against the same wall you’d just been fucked against and sighed.
Now you really couldn’t go back.
Out of nowhere, a hauntingly embarrassing thought crawled its way into your mind. “Oh no,” you gasped. “Jeonghan, what if someone heard us?” He just laughed at your panicked words.
“Private gym, private showers.” He explained, smiling when you visibly relaxed. “You make some pretty funny faces, has anyone ever told you that?”
You rolled your eyes, but there was a smile on your face. “Yeah, you have, back in school.” There had been many instances in your teenage years where Jeonghan had often laughed harder to your reactions to certain events more than the event itself, and he’d always tell you how “fascinating” your range of facial expressions were. History does repeat itself after all. “Has it really been that long?” Hearing the words he’d said to you the other day elicited a soft chuckle from Jeonghan as he pulled your body closer to his, wrapping one of the warm towels around your shivering frame.
You didn’t like the way your heart was beating faster at an action as simple as that as if he hadn’t just had his way with you in that little cubicle this place dared to call a shower, but you just laughed with him and hoped that he wouldn’t notice.
“I guess it has.”
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When you returned to work on Friday, you received a warm welcome from your favorite coworker and best friend.
Translation: Chaewon screaming at the top of her lungs and shaking you back and forth.
“You didn’t tell me you’re DATING YOON JEONGHAN!” Her grip was entering bruise territory. “I thought we were friends!”
“Chaewon, please,” Sakura sighed, prying you out of her arms. “You’re dating that boy that came in the other day? What’s the big deal?”
Chaewon had never looked so shocked. Well, that’s a lie, but right now that’s just how her face looked. “The big deal is him! He’s literally everywhere, Sakura. He’s YOON JEONGHAN!”
The customers could no doubt hear her frantic screaming from the kitchen despite your best efforts to make her quiet down. Unfortunately trying to get Chaewon to calm down was like trying to get a penguin to fly.
“How do you even know about that anyway?” You asked. Chaewon held up a finger, quickly pulling her phone out of her pocket and typing a few words into google and hitting search. She held it out to you and Sakura, and your jaw dropped.
Pictures of you and Jeonghan leaving the gym together, hand in hand, along with a plethora of articles inquiring about your identity as Jeonghan’s girlfriend. Your face wasn’t visible in any of them, but anyone who knew you could tell that you were the one beside him in those photos.
“Oh, wow. Yeah, that’s you alright.” Sakura hummed without even sparing you a glance. “That’s nice. He’s a handsome guy. Good for you, [Y/n].”
You smiled, feeling a little awkward with all the sudden attention. “Thanks, Kkura.” You couldn’t even prepare yourself to be grabbed by Chaewon a second time, so you just let it happen.
“Tell. Me. Everything.”
“Uh…”
“You can talk after work,” Sakura sighed, pulling you away from Chaewon once again. “[Y/n]’s boyfriend will still be with her after her shift is over.”
You really hoped so.
For almost the entirety of your shift, you were somewhat unfocused on your actual job and more on the leaked pictures of you and Jeonghan. Never had you been used to having so much attention on you, especially over a guy. Of course, Jeonghan wasn’t just any guy, but still. All of the hype had to be because of what he’d always preached about not being interested in dating, no doubt, but other than that your sentiment was similar to that of your manager’s: what’s the big deal?
Chaewon also seemed off, though it was mostly only because she couldn’t wait to pick your brain about your relationship with the model. She kept looking at you and smiling for the entirety of your shift, and you’d just try and pretend you didn’t see her. It was working fine until you know who came back to pay you another unexpected visit.
“Hey, your boyfriend is here!” She whispered to you when you returned from a quick trip to the bathroom. You felt confused and surprised at the same time, he was supposed to be…anywhere but here right now. The stupid organ in your chest jumped when you considered the possibility that he was actually here for you.
Making your way to the front of the restaurant, Jeonghan stood there, hands in his pockets, looking pleased to see you.
“Jeonghan, what are you doing here?” He pouted at you.
“Is that the only question you know how to ask me?” You crossed your arms, not in the mood for his little games right now. “Sorry, fine. I wanted to see you. Make sure you’re handling the news well.”
“News…? Oh, that.” You weren’t too thrilled to talk about your sudden rise to fame even though it had been the only thing on your mind ever since finding out from Chaewon today. Kind of ironic. “It’s whatever, I guess. I mean, I couldn’t believe it when Chaewon showed me the pictures, but that was pretty much it.” You shrugged.
“Wow,” Jeonghan hummed. “Have you always been this blunt? Where’s the girl with the bob? I like her energy better.” He started to laugh, the sound only getting louder when you hit him on the chest. You knew didn’t hurt him, not even in the slightest, and his cute giggling only made you madder. Damn him and his smart mouth. “Just kidding, baby.”
And there he goes with the nicknames again. Seriously, damn him and his smart talking, filthy, mouth and all the words he’d speak with it to get you all flustered.
“You never answered me. Don’t you have a photo shoot or a fitting, or, I don’t know, somewhere else to be instead of Ihop on a Friday?”
Jeonghan just smiled at you. “Forgive me for wanting to just stop by and say hello to my girlfriend.”
“Jeonghan.”
Your eyes watched him as he tried to bite back the smile on his lips to no avail. He nodded slowly, seemingly getting the hint that you could always manage to see right through him. He didn’t know if it was a good or bad thing.
“Alright, alright. You remember that show I was on not too long ago? The one with Jiyho?” Of course you remembered. Chaewon had sent the link to the video once it was uploaded to youtube (like she did with everything involving Jeonghan) along with a bunch of incorrectly spelled words in all caps expressing her excitement and disbelief. He continued speaking once you nodded. “Yeah, so, she pretty much wants me back on the show…with you.” He puts his hands on your shoulders, waiting for you to object to the whole thing.
But you don’t object. You glance to the side once, then back at him, and shrug like you had done moments earlier. “Okay. I’m off on Wednesdays and Thursdays.” The man in front of you sighed and shook his head.
“She wants us there tomorrow. Can’t you get someone else to come in for you, or something?”
You exhaled a heavy, dramatic sigh. “Fine. But you owe me, okay? This is coming out of my paycheck.” The look of utter happiness on Jeonghan’s face whenever you give into him is something you think you’ll never get tired of seeing, like he really thought it’d take more convincing to get you to say yes. You’ve literally been wrapped around his finger since you were sixteen, it was honestly surprising that he had the nerve to explain himself to you sometimes when you damn near lacked the ability to say no to him.
“You’re the best,” he was still smiling when he pressed a chaste kiss to your forehead. “I’ll pick you up tomorrow, okay? Wear something cute.”
You made some sort of strange yet quiet noise of acknowledgment, watching him with slightly parted lips as he walked out of the doors and back to his car. Jeonghan had just kissed you. On the forehead, yeah, but it was still a kiss. And not like he had kissed you in the shower, either, this one felt different. Tingly. You’d have probably stayed rooted to that spot if Sakura hadn’t started yelling for you to get back to work.
“Coming!”
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Mornings always seemed to come too fast for you, especially when you were going anywhere with Jeonghan. Time had to be speeding up on purpose knowing that you were always rushing to get ready lest you make Jeonghan late to one of his unmissable and very important (that you were still shocked to discover how much he despised) events.
You were worried about wearing the “wrong thing” even though you had no idea you should wear for something like this and texted Jeonghan for help last night. He responded with a short explanation of what he’d be wearing and said that you could just wear whatever you thought would match or complement what he’d have on. And then he’d sent one more a few minutes after that. One that read:
good night [y/n] sleep thigh
You had responded with a series of question marks, expecting some kind of explanation or clarification, but he must’ve gone to sleep right after that because there was no response for the rest of the night.
So when you had settled yourself into the passenger seat of his car, you’d decide to question him about it now.
“Oh, I meant sleep tight,” Jeonghan told you. He pointed at the seatbelt, staring at you until you were buckled up and only then did the car start to move. “Were you really thinking about that all night? Even I make spelling mistakes, [Y/n].”
You could sense that he was about to start laughing even before you started talking. “No! I just…whatever, nevermind.” And you’d been right, Jeonghan laughed just like he always did whenever you seemed to make what you considered a fool of yourself in front of him. He noticed that you were frowning from the corner of his eye and placed one of his hands on your thigh. You flinched at the contact.
“What?” He asked, starting to pull it away, but you grabbed it and placed it back down.
“Nothing.” You shook your head. “It’s nothing. Your hands are just cold.” This made him smirk. He poked your cheek, your forearm, and your upper thigh, the smile on his face getting wider each time you shivered and tried to push it away. “Quit it!”
“You like it,” he was giggling now, and you were too. You didn’t even realize that you were until he had pointed to your mouth and laughed even harder. As long as Jeonghan had known you, you’d never giggled before. He joked that he was starting to rub off on you as he poked you with his cold fingers one more time. “I like that dress, by the way.” His hand found its way back to your thigh, feeling slightly less cold now. Maybe the heat of your body was warming him up, because you definitely felt hot right now.
“Thank you.”
“Mhm. You wore it just for me, didn’t you?”
Your eyes grew the slightest bit wider. That was partly the truth, yes. You’d also worn it because he’d told you to wear something nice and this dress just so happened to be one of the nicest pieces of clothing you owned that was appropriate for an event like this. The former option seemed to be the one he was more interested in though, seeing as how he was pushing up the hem of the dress and glancing at your underwear—and the wet patch on it.
“Well, yeah, you kinda told me to.” Jeonghan loved the fact that you were actively choosing to either ignore the fact that you were wet right now or pretend like it didn’t faze you. He pressed one of his (still somewhat cold) fingers on the spot and started to rub it, making you shiver and moan. “J-Jeonghan, you’re doing this now?”
“Ah, you know what? You’re right. My hands are still cold, aren’t they?” He mumbled, but his hand stayed placed firmly against your upper thigh. You hated the way you whined at his teasing and the way you craved more. “Aww, baby. I was just doing what you wanted. Are you mad at me now?”
“You’re literally the worst!” Huffing, you slapped his hand away and Jeonghan, stubborn as ever, just placed it right back down on your thigh. “Don’t touch me.” You tried sounding stern despite the way you were starting to grin, much to Jeonghan’s amusement.
“I owe you one, okay?” His voice was full of nothing but sincerity as he pulled the edges of your dress back down. “Put on a good show for Jihyo and I’ll let you cum as many times as you want later, deal?”
Your response came immediately, like you hadn’t even had to think about it. “Deal.”
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Jihyo was even prettier in person. You weren’t used to seeing her without her hair in a bob, like Chaewon, but she seemed to be in the process of growing her hair out. Her skin was a little tanner in person and she had a smile that was kind and natural, which made you feel at ease.
“So, everyone, I’m sure you’ve all seen the pictures, right? Of Jeonghan and his supposed girlfriend?” Jihyo turned so that she faced the audience, nodding along at their responses. “I know, I saw them too, and when I tell you my jaw literally dropped. I was like, I’ve gotta get him back on the show. Well here he is, everyone! And with his mystery girl too!” She held one of her arms out and the audience erupted into applause seeing you and Jeonghan hand in hand walk onto the set. Jihyo clapped as well, watching the two of you the whole time while you took your seats beside each other.
“It’s good to be back, Jihyo. Thanks for having me.” Jeonghan was as polite as ever, his fingers still interlaced with your own. The woman just scoffed and shook her head.
“Oh, it’s nothing! You know how much of a joy you are to have on set.” Then she turned to you, eyebrows shooting up. “And you! What’s your name, sweetie?”
“I’m [Y/n].” The smile on your face was a little awkward, but the audience still received the interaction positively and applauded once more.
“Well [Y/n], aren’t you a lucky girl?” She leaned a little forward in her seat. “You’re doing what a lot of other girls could literally only dream of. How does it feel to be dating Jeonghan?”
It’s everything I’ve ever wanted. It’s like a dream come true. It’s perfect, in every sense of the word. And it’s all one big lie.
“It’s…it’s really crazy to think about it, you know? Like, I’m just a normal girl, but I’m dating him?” You ended your reply by gesturing to Jeonghan, both of you smiling. More clapping came from the audience. It seemed to be going well.
“That’s totally understandable. If I were you, I would’ve lost it. You probably did lose it a little, I would imagine, right?” You nodded at her question, recalling the day he had proposed the whole idea to you. Thinking about how you managed to keep your nerves under control in that situation amazed you, followed by a surge of pride for being able to keep up your act on nonchalance so well when in Jeonghan’s presence. So in Jihyo’s words, yeah, you did lose it just a little.
“Right, right. And you, mister, how long has this been going on?” Jihyo pointed one of her neatly manicured fingers right at Jeonghan. “I remember you saying you’d never keep that special someone a secret.”
Jeonghan leaned back and rested his hands flat on the arms of his chair. “[Y/n] wasn’t ready to be in the public eye. She was just nervous, and I’d never make her do something she didn’t want to. Forgive me.” Seeing the fake pout on his lips caused one to form on Jihyo’s face as well. He was pretty good at this lying on the spot stuff. Maybe a little too good.
“You sweet thing. What a considerate boyfriend. Anyone else feeling a little bit jealous right now?” Jihyo glanced at the audience, responding as eagerly as ever. “I’m definitely feeling a little envious. Like just a pinch. No, but seriously, I wanna know everything. Oh, tell us this: who fell in love first? I’m really curious.”
You sat up in your seat a little straighter. Should you answer? Should you tell the truth? Would Jeonghan finally get the hint you just confessed right now, or would he think you’re just playing along?
“I did.” You snapped your head in Jeonghan’s direction, and you felt tingly again. It didn’t help that he winked at you either, insinuating that this was yet another lie and that you should continue to act naturally. The audience was eating this up.
Jihyo held her hands over her open mouth, looking between you and the crowd. “Wow! I…just wow! I’m so shocked! I was expecting you to be the one who…” She couldn’t even finish speaking given her exasperation, but you could read between the lines. Jihyo wasn’t the only one thrown for a loop with his answer, you genuinely had no idea he would say that. “[Y/n], sweetie, did you know he was the one who liked you first?”
“No,” you were being honest for the first time. “I’m just as shocked as you are.” You look at Jeonghan once again, your eyes immediately noticing the smug look written all over his face. You didn’t like it.
A few more questions later, Jihyo announced that there was “no more time, sorry, i know,” and started to dismiss everyone on the set. You and Jeonghan gave her one last round of polite smiling and goodbyes before you let Jeonghan escort you back to his car. The difference in your moods was stark; Jeonghan seemed to be on cloud nine while you were still hung up over what he had told Jihyo earlier.
“Um, Jeonghan, about what you said back there…”
“I know, right! Did you see the faces of the people in the audience?” He looked so happy, sounded so happy. Anyone could tell he was enjoying the attention. You weren’t. You wanted answers.
You rolled your eyes. “Yeah, I saw them. They really just eat up anything you say, even if you’re lying.”
For the first time in a while, you noticed a dramatic change in Jeonghan’s expression. It was only for a second, maybe less, but it happened. Something like nervousness mixed with a dash of sadness and a pinch of guilt mixed together and slapped right onto the canvas of his face to create the masterpiece of his composure being lost. And then just as quickly as he let it fall, he slapped the mask back onto his face in the form of that carefree grin.
“I know, and I’m sorry baby. I’ll drop you off and then we’ll talk all about it.”
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Jeonghan was good at keeping his promises. He kept the one you made at graduation to see you again—which was probably just dumb luck, but it counted. He kept the one he made to you after you left the gym and brought you to your favorite coffee place so you could a drink and a cake pop. He even kept the one he made to you in Junior year when you dropped Minghao’s phone in the pool (you both blamed it on Mingyu). He had not kept his promise to talk to you about what he said in the interview with Jihyo. You were too occupied with his other promise (technically, it was a deal) you’d made with him before that.
“You’re a natural on camera, baby,” He whispered into your ear, running his hands up and down your sides. Jeonghan had his hand down your underwear the whole drive back to your aunt’s house, and when he finally pulled into the driveway, you were scrambling into his lap. Seeing you so worked up made Jeonghan feel good. He leaned back the drivers seat and let you grind against his erection, flooding the inside of your mind until you could think of nothing but him. “I can tell they just loved you.”
“You really talk too much sometimes,” You mumbled. Jeonghan loved nothing more than when you talked back to him, it only made things more fun when he watched you fall apart on his cock in the moments that would follow. “You and your filthy mouth.”
“Shut me up then.”
Jeonghan licked his lips, and you watched him do so with bated breath. He was challenging you. Up until now, you had never kissed each other. You were afraid that if you did, some kind of invisible, imaginary line would be crossed and then it’d be that much harder to let him go. But what the hell, you’d already had him balls deep inside of you, what was a kiss compared to that?
His perfect, pink, lips were calling out to you like a siren does a sailor. There was no resistance when you finally kissed him, finally feeling the softness of his lips against your own. Jeonghan pulls you closer, the sudden friction between your bare core and his clothed cock making the two of you moan into the other’s mouth.
“Ride me,” He whispered with need. Need, you thought, Jeonghan needed this from you. This would’ve been the ideal time to tease him back considering his current state. But fuck, you needed him too.
Jeonghan helped you unbutton his pants and slide them down along with his boxers just enough for you to sink down onto his aching cock. It felt different, but not in a bad way. He felt so much deeper, so much better, so much closer.
He let a chuckle slip past his lips. “Your heart…it’s beating fast.” His ability to be snarky and annoying never seemed to escape him.
“Is yours not?” You asked him while you rocked your hips back and forth lazily. The last thing you wanted to do was rush this moment, this might be the last time you got to have him like this, you wanted it to last. Jeonghan wrapped his hand around one of your wrists and placed it flat against his chest.
His heart was beating just as fast as yours.
There was probably a word out there somewhere to properly convey the emotions you were feeling, not that you could think of it right now with the way Jeonghan was scrambling not only your insides—but your mind, too.
Neither of you spoke again after that. You became caught up in the moment, in the way each other felt. Jeonghan’s eyes fluttered closed when the motions of your hips became faster, the obscene sound of his moaning overpowering your own gasps and whines of pleasure. He looked a fucked out mess; swollen lips, dark eyes, messy hair, the whole nine yards. If your eyes could take pictures, you’d want a million of him in this moment.
Jeonghan couldn’t stop kissing you. He’d been waiting for you to take the initiative, to let go of your hesitation. And now he was addicted to you and the way you kissed him and slipped your tongue into his mouth like you just couldn’t get enough.
“‘M gonna fucking cum, baby,” he breathed, thrusting up into you without warning. You wrapped your arms around his neck, panting, feeling yourself get close too. He kissed you, sloppily, his dick bruising the spongy spot inside you until you were seeing white. No less than a few seconds later Jeonghan was doing the same, your sloppy cunt milking him dry. You stayed like that for a while, his forehead pressed to yours, until the speed and sound of your breathing fell into the same rhythm.
“I’ve gotta go,” is how he chose to break the silence, kissing you to silence your whine of protest. “I know, I’m sorry. But hey, my family is having a party in a few weeks. Some business shit, probably for publicity. I don’t know all the details, but they told me to bring you so they could finally meet you in person.”
You couldn’t muster any other response aside from a sigh. “I’ll be there.”
He kissed you one last time. “That’s my girl.”
One promise kept, another one broken.
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“You know, that day you asked me to cover your shift, I didn’t expect it was because you were running off with your boyfriend to go on some talk show,” Yeonjun mumbled, taking the somewhat heavy box labeled “bathroom” out of your hands and walking it to that room. “It must be nice, right?” His voice echoed through the empty space of your new apartment.
“Why, you jealous?” You could hear him scoff all the way from the bathroom, making you and Chaewon laugh.
It’s been two weeks since you’ve heard from Jeonghan. His schedule has gotten increasingly busier ever since his reappearance on Jihyo’s show (which only made the news of your relationship more popular) , and you missed him for a multitude of reasons. One of them being that talk you never had about what he’d said that day. Every time you’d try to bring it up with him there was always a way he managed to weasel his way out of giving you an answer, so you’d given up trying at this point.
In better news, you’d finally managed to save up enough money to move out of your aunts house and into a decent little apartment downtown. It was kind of small, but it was just you, so you were fine with it. Today you’d finally started to move in most of your things. Joshua, Mingyu, and Soonyoung would come over tomorrow to help you set up your bed and shelves and other things that required the ability to decipher Ikea instructions. Minghao would come too, but not to help put anything together. He just wanted to scope out the place and advise you on the best way to decorate it.
So for now it was just you, your coworkers, and a couple of boxes containing the few things that you owned.
“What was it like seeing Jihyo in person?” Chaewon asked, taking a seat on the edge of the kitchen counter.
“She was nice. And pretty. She’s also more tan in person.” You replied. “I really need to go to the store, I’ve barely got any real furniture.” You stared into your box labeled “kitchen” and felt taunted by the plastic cutlery that rested inside.
There was a sudden knock at the door. You looked at Chaewon and she shrugged, just as clueless as you. You padded to the door, unlocking it and opening it just a crack. It was Jeonghan. Chaewon gasped, and you could hear her jump off of the counter and shuffle over to the doorway. He looked tired and a little annoyed standing there with his hands buried in his pockets. Today must’ve been one of his off days because he was dressed way more casually than he normally was.
“Hey baby. Hi Chaewon.” His voice sounded slightly deeper than you were used to hearing it. Chaewon waved tentatively from her position behind you. “Can I come in?” You took a step to the side, enough to let him come in, and he looked around the mostly empty space with an unreadable expression. “You never told me you moved out of your aunt’s place.”
“Right, yeah, sorry,” You shrugged. “You were just so busy, I didn’t want to bother you. It just slipped my mind.” Jeonghan just shook his head and leaned against the counter.
“It’s fine, I would’ve made time to stop by and help if I’d known. Would’ve been better than all the shit I’ve been doing.”
Chaewon stood awkwardly to the side, soon accompanied by a clueless Yeonjun who had just gotten over the initial shock of seeing Jeonghan inside your apartment. “Um…we should get going right now actually. We’ll come back another day, okay [Y/n]?” She smiled at you and waved to Jeonghan with a bit more confidence this time and yanked Yeonjun out of the apartment behind her by his wrist, shutting the door behind her with a kick of her foot.
The air suddenly felt a lot thicker.
“Do you think you could do me a favor?”
You hummed questioningly, watching Jeonghan’s head drop down and his gaze lower. You followed his eyes all the way down to the bulge in his pants. He frowned when you started laughing.
“This is funny to you?” You only laughed harder, one of your hands hovering over your mouth. “I don’t find anything funny about this.”
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” you spoke through your laughs. “How did this even happen?”
He leans his head back and sighs. “I was thinking about you.” Your laughter immediately stops.
You’ve just come to two realizations.
1. Jeonghan admits he gets hard at the mere thought of you.
2. He came running here during one of his few days off because he wants your help dealing with it.
You felt a mix of things right now. Horny—obviously—but also proud, and kind of special. Weirdly enough, you liked the idea of Jeonghan running to you to find some sort of release. Or maybe you just really missed him in the wrong way.
“Come here.” Jeonghan beckons you closer, cupping your face in his hands and rubbing his thumb along your bottom lip. “You’re so pretty…”
“You too,” came your mumbled reply. You reached down to palm him through his sweatpants, eliciting a drawn-out groan from Jeonghan. His hips bucked into your hand, one of his hands wrapped firmly around your wrist similarly to the way he’d done in the car. You slowly sank to your knees, never once breaking eye contact with him.
The sight of you on your knees, looking up at him through your eyelashes and your bottom lip between your teeth, Jeonghan could’ve blown a fucking load right then and there.
“Did you miss me, Hannie?”
Jeonghan sucked in a sharp breath when you yanked down his pants and boxers at the same time, exposing his cock to the cool air of your apartment. “I always miss you, baby.”
You paused for a moment and wondered if he really meant that, but with his dick literally in your face you came to the conclusion that maybe it wasn’t the best time to mull things over. You peppered his tip with kisses and ran your hands up and down the base. You’d almost forgotten how much you love it when he moans for you.
“S-so good…you’re so good to me,” he rested his hands on the top of your head, breathing shakily when you finally closed your lips around him. Just when he thought he couldn’t become any more addicted to you, you went and proved him wrong.
You choked and dug your fingers into his thighs at an unexpected show of force from Jeonghan, pushing his cock deeper down your throat with a thrust of his hips. A loud gag shot out of your mouth when it hit the back of your throat, tears starting to well up inside of your eyes. He would’ve apologized if he didn’t think you didn’t like the sight of you like this. “You’re fucking perfect,” he said it without thinking, too caught up in the moment.
A single tear trailed down your cheek. You moaned around him and he copied the sound, the vibrations making him shiver with pleasure. Your jaw was starting to hurt, just a little, but Jeonghan seemed too far gone go notice anything but his own need to cum down your throat. You whined as loudly as you could, and that’s when he finally seemed to get the memo.
His grip became the slightest bit looser, letting you wrap your hands around whatever you couldn’t fit in your mouth. You feel kind of gross when you notice that there’s spit dripping down your chin, but Jeonghan thought it was one of the hottest things he’d ever seen. He literally couldn’t take his eyes off of you, big brown eyes now dark with arousal.
“Will you be good and swallow for me, pretty girl?” He asked, though the question seemed entirely unnecessary given that you would’ve done so anyway. Nevertheless, you hummed in agreement, which was all he needed before the warmth of his cum spilled into your mouth. His body went limp once you tore yourself away from him and he leaned back against the countertop.
“I’ve never actually done that before, by the way,” you mentioned all too casually. Jeonghan stared at you, completely dumbfounded, like you hadn’t just sucked the soul out of him. Your face felt hot when you noticed his face. “What?”
“It’s kind of hard for me to believe that after what you just did, but okay.” He shook his head. “Oh, by the way, the party my parents are having is on a Thursday. Totally random, I know, but at lease you won’t have to call off and miss work. You can still make it, right?”
He really remembered that?
“Yeah…I can still come.” Jeonghan smiled and kissed the tip of your nose. It made you giggle. Maybe he really was rubbing off on you after all.
“Perfect.” You expected that to be it and for him to leave you, but instead he picked up one of the boxes on the floor and began unpacking the contents inside. “Do you like it here?”
“Huh?” You pushed aside the shock you felt by him still being here to give a proper answer. “Oh, yeah. It’s nice. The people upstairs are kind of loud at night, though.”
Now he was giggling. You groaned and rolled your eyes. “Not that kind of loud, Jeonghan. You’re so gross.” He was smiling at you, totally unbothered.
“You love me.”
Oh, if only he knew.
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Thursday has never come so fast. Time definitely had something against you, and this was the proof.
The venue for the party—some building as fancy as it was big located in the heart of the city—was hot with dim lights and hallways that were way too long. Dozens of people were lined up around the entrance with cameras and microphones. You couldn’t tear your eyes away from them, even from the passengers seat of Jeonghan’s car, and he grumbled.
“The fucking press is still out here?”
It’s late in the evening. The sun is setting. They’ve been camping out here for days. These people are nothing if not devoted.
“You did say this was a publicity event,” you squeezed his hand. “We’ll just walk fast and smile.”
A smile broke onto his face. “I’ve only done that, like, three times.”
“I remember it being more than that, actually.”
He pouted at you, making you giggle. He was so cute it was almost unbelievable.
“Are you nervous?”
“Well, maybe just a little.” It wasn’t the party or the public that scared you, but the idea of meeting Jeonghan’s parents made your stomach churn. He eased your worries with a kiss, then another, and another.
“You’ll be fine. I promise.”
You wanted to believe him. You don’t know if you really do. There’s no fooling your brain, but your heart is much more easily swayed by his words. He holds your hand tightly as he leads you past the hundreds of cameras and people crying out your name followed by some of the strangest questions you’ve probably ever been asked—no, definitely ever been asked. You squint your eyes, allowing them to adjust to the low interior lighting, and you can see two people approaching. Jeonghan’s thumb rubs the back of your hand to soothe you.
“Ready?” He mumbles. You smile and nod.
“Not like I have a choice.”
“Jeonghan! [Y/n]! So happy you could make it.” His father greets you warmly, paired with a smile and a firm handshake. His mom is a bit less reserved with her affection, immediately pulling you into a hug.
“You look lovely, dear. Absolutely stunning.” You smile at the compliment. “It’s so good to finally meet you in person.”
“I feel the same. I’m still a little shaky.” You laughed and it seemed to ease the tension, given the way his parents laughed along with you. His father handed you a skinny glass of champagne which you eagerly accepted, sipping down the bubbly liquid. Jeonghan let go of your hand, now holding a glass of his own.
“I hope Jeonghan doesn’t give you too much trouble. We know he can be a bit of a handful at times.” The woman said, getting another laugh out of his father and you.
“Mom, please.”
“No, it’s okay. He’s really such a great guy. Our time together has been…” You sucked in a breath and glanced up at Jeonghan. He looked down at you, smirking. “…special.”
“Jeonghan? Oh, it really is him! Jeonghannie!”
You and Jeonghan both turned your heads to search for the source of the voice, both of your eyes landing on a girl with dark hair and plump lips waving at Jeonghan.
“Momo,” he smiled at her. “Good to see you. I didn’t know you’d be here.”
Momo smiled back. “We would’ve been here earlier, but Sana couldn’t decide on what to wear and Mina wasn’t being any help.” She huffed at the memory and shook her head. “But we’re here now. Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t even see you.”
You smiled tightly, trying to remain polite. “It’s fine.” It wasn’t fine. It was the exact opposite of fucking fine. Not only was this Momo girl interrupting your moment with Jeonghan and his parents, but she was also acting as if you were invisible. And worst of all, Jeonghan seemed less bored with her sudden appearance and was paying more attention to her than you.
You paused. Were you getting jealous?
“Hey, you don’t mind if Jeonghan takes some pictures with me and my friends, right?” She put a hand on your arm and squeezed lightly, snapping you out of your daze.
“No, it’s okay.” Momo smiled again, and you couldn’t help but notice just how pretty she was. With your approval, Momo linked her arm with Jeonghan’s, leading him to the opposite end of the room where two other girls stood waiting, their faces lighting up at the sight of the male model she had managed to drag along with her.
“Come on [Y/n] dear, he’ll be back. Oh, there are some people we’d like you to meet. Have you met Kang Seulgi? She’s a very talented designer.” Jeonghan’s mom rambled on, guiding you towards an expectant looking crowd of people.
Shockingly (well, it was shocking to you), your attention is the one thing that the majority of the other guests seem to be after. Many of them gather around you and Jeonghan’s parents, hanging off every word you say and looking at you like you’re one of the most precious things they’ve ever had the pleasure of laying eyes on. The topic of the evening is, of course, your relationship with Jeonghan.
"It's..." You search for him in the somewhat dark expanse of space, but you couldn't find him anywhere. He probably ran off somewhere with Joshua, no doubt.
Jeonghan had fucked you over. He’d brought you here just to abandon you. He made you feel special just so you’d make him look good in front of his parents. You felt like some kind of broken toy, so easily thrown to the side once he no longer wanted to play with you.
"I don't know. It's a lot of things. I'm happy though, you know? He's good to me." You smiled, the lie stinging your throat and burning your tongue. There was only so much more of all this attention you could take.
“You’re so lovely, [Y/n].”
“Isn’t she just a dear?”
“She’s the sweetest! Don’t you just love her?”
And there it was; your breaking point. One of your hands flew over your mouth, keeping the pathetic sob from escaping. Concern flashed across the faces of the guests, and you apologized as best as you could as you pushed your way through the mass of bodies and out to the hallway. None of them followed you, probably still confused as to why you had even run away in the first place, but it didn’t matter. None of this mattered.
Jeonghan’s friends loved you. The media loved you. His parents loved you. All these guests whose names you didn’t even know loved you. Everyone loved you but Jeonghan, so in the end none of it even mattered. He had no problem discarding you when you were no longer of use to him, like you were nothing, because he didn’t love you.
You finally cried. The regret, the guilt, it consumed you. You slid down to the floor, your face covered by your hands, crying on the floor like a child.
“[Y/n]?”
You could recognize Jeonghan’s voice in a heartbeat. He stared down at you, worry written all over his pretty face, but you gave him no response.
“Why are you crying?”
He knelt down beside you, trying to get you to at least look at him. You wiped away the last of your tears and sighed.
“I think we need to end this, Jeonghan.”
“What?” He seemed genuinely shocked that you said that. “[Y/n], we’re more popular than ever. That wasn’t the deal.”
You picked yourself up off of the floor, suddenly overcome with anger. "Is that seriously all you care about? How popular you are? What about me?”
His silence was painful.
“God, of course. I don’t even know why I bothered asking. You only care about yourself.”
“That’s not true. I care about you, [Y/n]. You know that.” Jeonghan frowned.
Under different circumstances you might’ve believed him, let him sway you with his sweet words and sad little expression.
“Do you? It feels like you only care about me when you want your dick sucked or when you want someone to clap for you.”
The look on his face changed in an instant. Jeonghan’s patience was wearing thin, you could tell, but there was a part of him that was holding back.
“If that’s how you really feel, why didn’t you say anything? Why even agree to do this in the first place?”
The words came flying out before you could stop them. “Because I love you, Jeonghan! I’ve always loved you!”
A heavy silence enveloped the hallway. It was tense—suffocatingly so. You could hardly make out how his face changed once more in the low lighting that enveloped you.
“[Y/n]—”
“I’m not done!” You’re not sure when you started crying again, but you arely registered the wet droplets streaming down your cheeks. “I don’t even know why I’ve tried so hard to get you to notice the fact that I love you when it’s obvious the only person you love is yourself. You’re nothing but a selfish asshole. I hate you.”
Your vision was blurred with your tears, but you could just barely make out the dejection painted on his face. It didn’t suit him. You hoped that he would say something, anything, but Jeonghan did nothing but stand there. You couldn’t do anything but laugh pitifully.
“I’m going home. Have fun at your party.”
“Wait, [Y/n], please don’t go. Let’s talk about this.” He held onto your hand when you tried to walk away. You tried to get him to let go, but he wasn’t ready to let go.
“What else is there to say, Jeonghan? We’re over, now leave me alone. Why don’t you go ask Momo to be your fake girlfriend, I’m sure she’d be more than happy to.”
You snatched your hand out of his grasp, fooling yourself with the last bit of hope you had that maybe he would chase after you. He made you a promise, after all.
It’s a shame he couldn’t keep it.
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You didn’t go into work on Friday. Or Saturday. Or Sunday. After you got home last night, you buried yourself beneath the covers of your bed, too exhausted to do anything other than lie there in the darkness until you fell asleep. When morning came, you couldn’t even muster up the strength to move, so you called Sakura and said that you were sick and wouldn’t be able to come in for the next few days.
Jeonghan had left you an unbelievable amount of texts and calls, none of which you bothered to respond to. Chaewon and Joshua also texted you to ask about the party and if you’d heard anything from Jeonghan; apparently no one had heard from him since the party. As if you’d know.
On Sunday, you’d managed to tear yourself away from your bed—for longer than a trip to the kitchen or the bathroom—and out onto the couch. A rerun episode of Jihyo’s talk show was playing on the TV, the one that featured you and Jeonghan. You watched with a heavy heart as the two of you walked hand in hand, smiling, waving to the studio audience.
How could you ever fall in love with him? He was just another self serving rich boy who used you for his own personal gain. It didn’t matter that he was charming or funny or cute or—
Fuck, even when you were mad at him you found it impossible to ignore the beating of your own heart when you remembered just how nice it felt to be with him, even if it was all just for show.
Someone was knocking. You sighed, not wanting to get up, but the knocking only grew louder and more urgent.
“Okay, I’m coming! Damn…” You shouted, lifting yourself from the couch and over to the door, frowning at the person standing on the other side.
Jeonghan’s state of being didn’t seem to be any better than yours. His eyes had bags under them, his hair was in desperate need of a brush, and he was still in his pajamas. Even so, he smiled weakly at the sight of you. “I was worried you wouldn’t answer. I’m happy to see you’re doing okay.”
You scoffed. “I’m not.” You missed the way his smile dropped at that. “What do you want?”
“I want to apologize to you.”
Shaking your head, you started to shut the door, almost closing it on Jeonghan’s arm in the process.
“Wait, please! I really mean it, just give me a few minutes and then I’ll be gone, I swear.”
There was no way you were in your right mind, because you actually let him in. He smiled and followed you to the couch, sitting at a distance to keep you from getting uncomfortable.
“I thought about what you said at the party. The stuff you said about me wasn’t wrong. I was being selfish. I did only care about my image. You had every right to be upset with me.”
“I’m still upset with you.”
“And that’s perfectly fine, but just hear me out,” His voice was frantic. “Those two weeks I didn’t talk to you were the worst two weeks of my life. I wasn’t lying when I said I missed you. I really missed you, [Y/n]. And the more I thought about you, the more I realized that I was falling in love. I’m so in love with you, [Y/n].”
You weren’t buying it. “You could’ve texted me. Or called. Or something.”
Jeonghan turned to face you, eyes flickering over your face. “I wanted to, and I should’ve, but…”
“…But what?”
His cheeks were growing pinker by the second.
“But what, Jeonghan?”
“But I didn’t want you to leave me. I didn’t tell you how I felt because I thought it would overwhelm you. If you start to feel real feelings in a fake relationship, what are you supposed to do?” He sounded so…sad.
When the reality of his words finally sunk in, clarity followed. Jeonghan was in love with you. Jeonghan was scared that you would want things to be over. Jeonghan was worried about how you would react to him.
You breathed out a laugh.
“You’re such a dummy, Jeonghan. Why would I ever leave you?”
His sadness evaporated, now replaced with relief and joy and love. He pulled you into a hug and sighed happily when you returned it.
“I’m so sorry. I never meant to hurt you. My heart literally fucking broke when you cried because of me and my shitty attitude.”
“Oh, but I love your shitty attitude. Just not when it’s making me cry.”
“Good. Pretty girls shouldn’t cry.” He whispered against your lips before kissing you. You felt giddy at the way his lips moved against yours, smiling into the kiss. He gently pushed you so you were lying on your back, breaking away to look down at you.
“My pretty girl…” He said again, voice sweeter than sugar, fingers trailing up your legs. They felt cold against your burning hot skin, and it made you shiver. “Gonna let me make you feel good like you deserve?”
“Yes, Hannie, please.”
Jeonghan groaned, pausing the movement of his fingers to bask in the sound of you begging for him. You had no idea what you did to him and it made his dick that much harder. “Good girl. I’ll take care of you.”
“Hurry up, your hands are cold,” You whined. His eyes flashed with mischief, pressing his fingers down into the flesh of your inner thigh, watching you shiver and moan.
“I don’t know, I think that you like it, am I right?”
“If you don’t hurry up and touch me, I’ll do it myself.” To prove your point, you slipped your shorts off and tossed them somewhere onto the floor. Jeonghan touched you before you could even think about sliding off your underwear, cupping your leaking cunt with his hand.
“The only one who gets to play with this pretty pussy is me, baby. Don’t ever forget it.” You moaned at how fast his demeanor seemed to change, nodding furiously as you tried to grind into his hand to relieve the ache he was making you feel.
Pouting and panting, you looked up at him. “Hannie, don’t be mean…”
He found it insane how he didn’t realize how whipped he was for you earlier. Like really, he was totally wrapped around your finger. This must’ve been how you felt for all those years.
“Whatever you want, baby,” He lifted your legs a little higher, situating himself so he was lying flat on his stomach, face only a few inches away from your cunt. He pushed your underwear to the side, gasping at the sight of how wet you were. “Shit, baby, you’re fucking dripping.”
“Just for you.”
He seemed pleased with that. “Better be.”
Jeonghan buried his face in between your legs, groaning when the taste of you hits his mouth. He’s making an even bigger mess of you, licking at you greedily and sloppily, drowning himself in the wetness between your thighs.
You’re moaning louder than you think you ever have in your life. Shaky fingers slide into his soft dark hair, gripping tightly. He doesn’t seem to mind though, already too caught up in you to register the little bit of pain. You grind into his face, staining the lower half of his face with your arousal.
“Hannie, fuck,” You manage to say despite your fucked out state. Jeonghan hums, and the sensation makes your thighs close around his head. If you could speak, you would apologize, but Jeonghan seems to grow impossibly more aroused by the act.
He slips two of his fingers inside of you, it’s easy given how wet you are and keep getting, while he occupies his tongue on your clit. Your eyes roll into the back of your head, any and all coherent thoughts having escaped you in that moment. The only thing you could focus on was Jeonghan, his lips, and his fingers.
You could feel yourself getting close, a familiar feeling blooming in your stomach. Jeonghan could feel it too with the way you were tightening around his fingers and arching your back to stay as close to him as you can. He circles your clit with his tongue before starting to suck on it, your legs shaking with the force of your orgasm.
“You taste so good,” Jeonghan says, licking his lips clean of every last drop of you. He presses one last long, lingering kiss to your pussy before gathering the strength to pull away and wipe his mouth clean.
“We could’ve kept going.” The look you gave him was so innocent and sweet, a contrast to the way your legs were still spread open with your juices staining your inner thighs. You almost convinced him. Almost.
“Don’t look at me like that,” He spoke slowly and softly, as if he was in no rush to give you more despite the painfully obvious tent in his pants.
“Well then hurry up and fuck me already.”
Jeonghan doesn’t want to keep you waiting, but he can’t help but tease you just a little bit more. He sheds his clothes with little urgency, and he smirks like the little cocky shit he is when he sees the way you’re looking at him, like you could just devour him here and now. It’s like you were seeing him naked for the first time all over again, astonished by the sight of him. He was just so pretty all over.
He slides the tip of his cock up and down your slit, teasing your entrance until you were squirming. “Hannie, please,” you whined, steadying your hands on his shoulders. Clearly he was just as desperate as you were, because he pushed into with a groan no more than a moment later.
“So tight, baby, shit. Are you trying to make me cum already?”
His strokes are slow and deep, and you can feel every single inch of him inside of you as he drags himself all the way out before slamming back inside. Whenever you clench around him, he falters and lets himself moan something unintelligible about how good you feel or how pretty you are.
“F-Faster, Hannie, I want—” Jeonghan cut you off with a sloppy kiss, swallowing each and every one of your noises.
He cooed at you and shook his head with fake disapproval. “When did you get so demanding?” Your words turned into whimpers when he increased both the pace and the force of his thrusts, rendering your ability to speak useless. “You know I’ve got you baby, I know what you need.”
“Stop talking like that.” Your nails dragged down his back, streaking his unblemished skin with thin red lines.
“What are you gonna do if I don’t? You gonna cum and make a mess of yourself all over my cock, huh baby?”
You whimpered again, leaving Jeonghan to assume that he was correct and giving him yet another ego boost. With one hand, he pushed your shirt up to reveal your braless chest, kissing and sucking at the supple skin of your tits.
There was no way you weren’t going to be getting a noise complaint. The sounds coming from Jeonghan’s hips snapping against yours paired with the steady stream of sounds coming from both you and Jeonghan were sure to have them making a fuss. Not that any of that mattered at the moment, well, not to either of you.
His hand snakes between your bodies, rubbing feverishly at your abused bundle of nerves, whispering so sweetly into your ear the words “cum for me” which is all you needed before doing just that. Jeonghan watches your face as you cum, and he thinks that you’ve never looked more beautiful than you do now, letting yourself fall apart underneath him like this.
“I love you so much,” He says in between his strained grunts of pleasure. “So fucking much, baby.” Even after you had already cum, Jeonghan’s hips never once stopped moving against yours.
“I love you too, Hannie, fuck.” The overstimulation was starting to hit you, and you whimpered because of it.
“I know, baby. I’m almost there.”
His tip is bruising your sweet spot with each of his thrusts, making you squeeze around him impossibly tighter, and the feeling makes him so dizzy, reminding him of the fact that he is truly and utterly yours. “Want me to cum inside you, pretty girl? Use your words and tell me.”
“Yes, yes, please, Hannie! Need your cum inside of me!” Your mouth and body are reacting on their own, saying and doing what they want as you feel yourself cum a second time. He doesn’t hold back anymore, the warm sensation of his cum being fucked deeper and deeper into you overtaking all of your senses, leaving you feeling fuzzy and lightheaded.
Jeonghan’s head rests on your chest, breathing in your scent and listening to the sound of your heart. He’s too lazy and too tired to pull out, but you don’t mind. “Can you be my girlfriend for real now?” Even as you work to catch your breath, he still manages to make you laugh.
“Hm, I don’t know, nobody was around to hear you say that, should we go find you an audience?” You tease, and Jeonghan whines loudly and shakes his head.
“In that case, yes. I’d love to be your girlfriend.”
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angelltheninth · 3 months
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Back in the Dating Game
Pairing: Lucifer Morningstar x Fem!Reader
Tags: fluff, new relationship, first date, phone calls, being flustered, gifts, kissing, poly Lucilith, Lucifer Morningstar is a gentleman and silly
Word count: 1.2k
Summary: After a while of dancing around it you and Lucifer are finally going on a date. He's been freaking out about it and goes to ask the only person he can for advice, his daughter, Charlie.
A/N: This came to me at like 2 in the morning and I thought it was hilarious.
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Over a month has passed since Charlie and her friends battle with Adam and Hell is slowly going back to... it's usual brand of chaos. Lucifer however has his own worries past Hell's current affairs. His upcoming date.
"It's a date. A date. You've been on dates before. You're the King of Hell!" He yelled at his own reflection, ferocious at first and then sunk back down into his chair. "Like ten thousand years ago. Ugh. Why is it still so hard. I gotta find someone who... wait... that's it!"
He rushed out the door of his bedroom, greeting one Hotel staff member after the other, even Alastor, although he swore that the Radio Demon tried to trip him. It was still early morning so he choose to leave him be. For now.
"Charlie can I- oh- oh my golly-!" Lucifer was has never looked away faster in his life, his long, long life.
"Dad! What the FUCK is wrong with you?!" Charlie kicked her legs so fast one of her hooves smacked Vaggie in the face. "Shit! Vaggie I'm so sorry! Are you bleeding! Oh my god you are!"
Vaggie put her hand up and instead of bothering to stop the bleeding searched for her nightgown. There were few things worse then getting caught between her girlfriend's legs.
"Are uh... you two dressed now?" Lucifer coughed awkwardly as he listened to the commotion behind him. "I'm so sorry I didn't know you two were- I mean it's fine you're girlfriends and sex is a very natural-"
"Dad, please don't. You can turn around just... knock next time." Lucifer turned around, one hand still on his face, "You can look, we're dressed."
The King of Hell cleared his throat, standing there for a few more moments before walking over to a chair and sitting down. "Soooo... wings huh? Hey, me too! Aha-haaa!" He grinned way to much, trying to break the awkward atmosphere. "Charlie... you like girls right?"
"Yes? Didn't you just... dad, what's going on?"
He gulped, tapping his fingers on his cane, "There's this woman I've kind of, maybe, soft of been seeing and... well your old man's been out of the dating game for the past ten thousand years. It's... I'm nervous about the date tonight." He was out of breath by the time he finished talking, almost shaking.
Charlie and Vaggie looked at each other, and a moment later Charlie exploded with excitement.
"Who is she? When did you meet? Did you kiss yet? Is she as pretty as mom? Does she like singing? Have you kissed yet or not?! Wait I already asked that!"
"Charlie, Charlie calm down! This is gonna be our first official date. Your mom gave a thumbs up? We didn't talk much though. I really think this-" A phone rang in his pocket, "Oh! Oh god! It's her! What do I do?!"
"Pick up the phone?" Vaggie suggested.
"Good idea Gabby! That's why I like you!" That wasn't even close to her name but okay, he was under a lot of stress. "What do I say?"
"Just... be yourself?" Not helpful.
"Myself. Okay. I'm Lucifer. The King of Hell!" He took a deep breath and pressed answer, "Hey bitch!"
Both Charlie and Vaggie faceplalmed, Vaggie cringing more because of her busted nose and lip.
"Uhm, hey Lucifer. Are we still on for tonight?" You asked with no small amount of stress of your own. You were getting a date with the King of Hell, it was scary and exciting at the same time.
"Of course we're on! We are gonna get it on! Not like that, no! I uh... want to..." He looked to the side where both Charlie and Vaggie made X gestures with their arms, "Make you an X?"
You laughed at how nervous he sounded too, "Already dumping me? You haven't even kissed me yet. I'm not that bad at it, I promise."
"No, no I don't mean... I look forward to seeing you tonight. It will be the best, most romantic, the most magical shit you've ever seen... baby?" Lucifer tried to chuckle but it sounded very forced.
"Well okay then. Sweep me off my feet, my good sir." Look at you, already using petnames for each other.
"S-Sir...?" His mind was already going places that were very much not appropriate in front of his daughter and her girlfriend, "See you tonight!" He ended the call, "That went well. Wish me luck Charlie! Oh and use protection! Your old man ain't ready to be a grandpa yet."
"Daaad!" Charlie blushed a deep red as Lucifer stepped through a portal and back into his room.
The knock at your door was quick and hard, and a few minutes early. But you knew who it was, the hat and the wings were a dead giveaway. You checked your outfit and make-up in the mirror one last time before opening the door and beholding the King of Hell himself holding out flowers for you with a shy smile on his face.
"Hope these aren't too much for a first date." He handed them off to you. "They're alive! They're gonna be great houseguards when they grow fully." Good, then you wouldn't have to feed them. The demons breaking into your home will do that.
"Thank you, I'm sure they'll be lovely." You put them aside and took his hand as he tapped his cane on the floor and opened a portal to a restaurant you haven't been to before. It looked much too fancy, but not for the King. "Wow."
Lucifer pulled out a chair for you but tripped over his own. "I'm okay!"
He was such a goof ball.
"I uh... look, I need to be honest with you. I haven't been on a date in a while. I don't know how to do... this. I walked in on my daughter with her girlfriend today because I couldn't figure out how to talk to you!" He leaned against his chair and ran his hand across his face, his red cheeks reddening even more.
"Lucifer, it's fine." You reached for his hand, "You're the King of Hell. I was scared to go out with you, I didn't know what to expect. Your reputation is pretty intimidating. But I'm glad you're not that guy."
"And what kind of guy am I?" He leaned in, so interested in what you had to say. He'd been judged for so long, for all the wrong things, he had to know what you think.
"Really funny, someone who cares about his family, charming, and dare I say devilishly handsome." You pushed yourself over the desk and kissed him on the cheek, in front of everyone. "And so cute when you blush." You whispered and looked at him with hooded eyes. Lucifer didn't reply but you did see his tail moving behind him. "Puppy energy. Interesting."
"Oh no, I'm not into pet play. But I'm sure we can find other things we're both into." His eyebrows wiggled as he let his long tongue curl at you. You clenched your legs, excited for more dates with him if this is the energy he's gonna bring every time.
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evilminji · 8 months
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Okay, as I have mentioned, I'm Ace AF. And you know that plot line in kids cartoons where the alien or foreign Warrior Royalty just sort of *violently kicks down door in full armor* "We Will Marry."? I?? Always said:
"Sure!" (#OhThankFUCK!)
Like what do you mean "No"? The powerful, attractive, monarch that is very into you has travel a great distance JUST to marry you! Now you don't have to date! They seem nice! You can skip the whole "trying to find a life partner" awkwardness.
So, Sudden New Fiancee(tm) how we doing this? Blended customs? Two weddings? One in your peoples traditions, one in mine? Should we invite your family? Tell me more about yourself.
God, this solves just... SO MUCH for me? No having to make small talk. No "do they like me?" Or "am I reading the signs here right?" No failed dates! It's positively ideal! AND they announced why they were qualified, in a VERY impressive show of power and prestige, when they arrived! Good lineage AND accomplished!! Very nice.
Don't get why everyone's so upset.
Sure the "we leave at once" thing that usually follows would have to be discussed, but that's what you DO as spouses. Really guys, it's like you think I'm incapable of common sense here.
And you know who probably agrees with me? Damian Wayne.
Hell is other people, INDEED. You expect him to just... randomly go up to people and try Courting them? What do you MEAN it's "creepy" to compile portfolios on eligible individuals of worthy bloodlines? How ELSE is he supposed to know if they are worth attempting to talk too?!
There are BILLIONS of humans on this gods forsaken rock, Richard! Is he supposed to just GUESS? Gamble and hope for LUCK? This is a MARRIAGE not a "best friends club"!
Then? Danny showes up.
Gotham heard her baby talking. Heard her KING being harassed by clearly plotting Observants and power hungry ghosts MANY times his age. Connected some dots. Formed themselves a new OTP.
Danny says "Fuck It". Worst he can say is No. According to Gotham, he is neither Shy not the meek obedient sort. Is in fact, VERY stabby. So if he's not interested he'll no doubt be BRUTALLY clear about that.
So? Danny gets Fright Knight. Go get him a horse. Someone fetch Cujo some armor. He's been told the guy like weapons and animals.
TIME TO BE IMPRESSIVE.
He goes FULL Regalia. Armor of solid night sky. Cape of frost and stardust. Crown like crack in reality itself, through which the cosmos gleam and shift. He gets a horse from the far frozen. They're wooly and carnivorous. Gets THE most impressive sword he can find to wear.
It's gonna be a gift, since he doesn't need it.
He does the whole "rend the skies open" thing. Fan fair and knights. Every title he's ever been given, no matter how embarrassing he find them in reality. And announces his intentions. Declares that ONLY Damian Wayne, aka. Robin, is WORTHY to Marry Him. And (in the traditional Ghost proposal of "either accept or tell me to fuck off" /w violence) Demands Damian accept his offer of Marriage.
Right there.
IN THE WATCHTOWER.
In front of EVERYBODY. And yes, ESPECIALLY the Bats. Who are making glitching, vaguely threatening DEMONIC NOISES. Because? You... you THREATEN the BABY? Death. Ten thousand years DEATH.
People are :O ing and backing away from the visible heatwave of unadulterated FURY being put off by Batman. Danny is nano-second from every bone his ANCESTORS had being reduced to a fine paste.
Then? Damian consider him... considers the sword being thrust in his direction, still held aloft in a steady and armored hand... contemplates those titles for a second...
And goes: "Acceptable. Very well, but I have demands."
N..... Nani the FUCK? Says local Bat-Dad. No??? You are NOT GETTING MARRIED.
Try to stop him. He very obviously IS, according to Damian, the man brought him a kick ass sword and has a giant green dog. Is the king of an ENTIRE REALITY. Yes, he realizes he probably COULD do better... but frankly? This one's cute. But if it upset you so... extended engagement. There. Happy?
NO! Because the JLA Dark are LOSING THEIR SHIT. Damian is still UNDERAGE. We don't even know how OLD this being is! NO MARRIAGE.
Damian is unimpressed. A whole six months? That he's likely already LIVED thanks to various timeloops, temporal shenanigans, and reality warping bits of fuckery? You're reaching.
Just? Marriage Meet Cute.
@hdgnj @ailithnight @the-witchhunter @nerdpoe
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