#but that has not been an issue lately

[imjustli]

My train got bumped a second time, but we're finally rolling. I have no idea if that's a correct idiom or whatever but I'm too tired to care

#there's this family. this guy and his two very young children. they were at the platform the first time and now theyre right in front if me #the youngest is like 3. theyve been waiting for more than 4 hours. now that doesn't sound too awful. but its 22:30 rn #like how did not a single thing go right today. theres something broken at several important sections #how the fuck could this happen. we haven't even had any super extreme weathers recently. at least not worse than like 2 weeks ago #and 2 weeks ago it worked just fine #like man. somethings up #everything cant just break at the same time. if that can happen something is wrong #like one thing breaks severly? sucks but oh well its fine. two things? unlucky. everything? what the fuck #ive been praising how well the trains have been running the past few years. and now this happens #its been really reliable until now. only a few lates and cancels every now and then #like a few years ago it would come up on tge news twice a year that the weather conditions were to hot/cold/chaotic to run tge trains #but that has not been an issue lately #and tgen everything just breaks on seemingly the same day #again; public transport is great but when it fails it sure as hell fails badly

[petrichormore]

yknow a moment from today that I feel is really under appreciated and kinda highlights the difference between the people q!Bad trusts and the people he doesn’t?

(this is about the characters obviously. You cannot make me use q! on long analysis posts. None of you can make me.)

Aypierre was showing Bad the room he used to capture and question Fred, and built into the only entry into the main room was an inventory scanner.

An inventory scanner - the thing Bad was hesitant to use to save Forever because he was scared of the islanders knowing of its existence and turning it against him. He did it anyway obviously because he cares about Forever but it’s clear he knows this is the one thing that could remove all his carefully built up protections in an instant. And the only way into the room was through it.

So Bad stops, of course, and Aypierre (who already walked through it first) notices and goes “I’ll just give you your items back, come through”

And Bad says “Ehhhh no, I…”

And Aypierre reassures him “You can come through. Don’t worry, don’t worry, don’t worry.

And Bad repeats “Ehhhh no…” And then “Forgive my paranoia, can you disable it? Or make an opening for me?” He asks it very politely too, as if he believes it’s a hard ask (it’s not).

And Aypierre does. That’s why I think this moment is underrated. Bad asks for forgiveness for his paranoia - a paranoia that has been built up and rewarded and reinforced by his experiences on the island - and yet Aypierre doesn’t treat it like a burden. He doesn’t complain about it, he doesn’t tell Bad he’s overreacting, and he certainly doesn’t try to guilt-trip or otherwise insist Bad go through when he’s clearly uncomfortable. He just… makes another opening, and Bad walks through that, and the moment of hesitance, of distrust, is left behind. Not just left behind, but accepted. From Bad’s perspective, Aypierre has essentially communicated that “I can see you don’t trust me fully, and that’s okay, I understand why. It’s not a big deal, and I can move on.”

And I think that acceptance is why Aypierre has managed to gain an impressive amount of Bad’s trust so much faster than other islanders. I think that’s why when he told Bad he put cameras in his house, Bad didn’t get upset.

A lot of islanders, even islanders that are Bad’s friends, would not have reacted the way Aypierre did to Bad not wanting to step through the inventory scanner. And it does make a difference.

#and this isn’t even the first time q!Aypierre has been considerate of q!Bad’s paranoia instead of dismissive or disparaging #I’m reminded of the time q!Bad was hesitating on entering the art museum so q!Aypierre offered to walk ahead of him in case of traps #it’s just. interesting #q!Bad does not have many people who are so nonchalant about his extreme trust issues #it’s probably refreshing for him #qsmp #qsmp liveblog but late #qsmp aypierre #q!aypierre #qsmp badboyhalo #q!badboyhalo #q!bbh character analysis #bebou and the French stay winning

[canisalbus]

this image came to me a while back and wouldn't leave me alone until i brought it into the world, and after seeing your Barbenheimer art i thought i might send it to you. love all your work, and it's been great seeing the development of these two! <3

.

#aw dang partners in crime! #very in character yes #Vasco's gleeful look is just something else I love it #thank you for drawing my boys #;_; #I'm glad to hear you've been enjoying seeing them around! #Machete #Vasco #own characters #Pandaboar #gift art #a little context tidbit since this reminds me of it #for the majority of their co-existence Vasco is the one who has a little bit of a criminal record and autrority issues #and since he's never gotten into serious trouble for it he's quite nonchalant about the whole thing #he has solid morals for sure but they don't always align with the law #Machete is an obedient well behaved goody two shoes until he slowly boils over irreparably and becomes the worst version of himself #I actually had a similar thing sketched last month but never got around to finishing it #should I still do it or is it too late at this point

[jeffreyfrancoeur]

Can we just...stop comparing Colin to Anthony? Please? They aren't remotely close to the same person, and it's frankly disheartening to see time and time again now.

"Colin had no trauma related to love and self worth to deal with like Simon and Anthony had."

Unless I am very much mistaken, Colin and Anthony have the same father. They both watched said father die from a bee sting. They both watched their mother hold her dying husband in her arms and sob because she just lost the love of her life. The only difference? Anthony was 18, and Colin was 10-12, depending if we're talking show or book. Regardless, watching his father die absolutely gave Colin trauma.

Colin was sent off to Eton not months after his father died. He never was able to process it with his own family, because they stuck together and processed it together. But Colin had to go away to school. And when he was home, he would bring flowers and play games and try to keep everyone smiling. The only way he felt useful was to focus on everyone else's happiness and diminish his own needs.

He went away on travels each year to try to find himself, process his own trauma and experiences. His engagement to Marina blew up in his face, so he immediately left to go traveling, to lick his wounds away from the rest of the ton. And while he was gone, Penelope was the main one to read and reply to his letters. When he got back, his own family diminished him, said it was a waste of time, that his "prattling on about his travels" was boring. So what did that teach Colin? That his family doesn't care about him. Doesn't value him. Doesn't find his time, his experiences, worth it. Eloise says to Pen (in front of Colin) that she found his letters about Greece dull, and couldn't finish them.

So at the beginning of season 3, when he's returned from another summer away, after no one in his family replied to a single one of his letters, and in the carriage to the presentation, he's absolutely going to not want to talk about his travels with Anthony. "Who are you and what have you done to our brother?" You happened to Colin, Anthony. Colin is masking and pretending like his travels weren't a big deal, that they didn't affect him, when he straight up tells Penelope later that he used the time away to remake himself into a new man. To try out a new persona, away from the ton, where no one knew him as Colin Bridgerton, or as a Bridgerton at all. He was just some nameless man.

He felt like he had no one back home to care about him, so the problem must obviously be him. That there was something wrong with who he is as a person, and that maybe this new version of himself would finally make the people back home--and his family--care about him. Maybe this version would finally be the version of him that's good enough.

So when he comes back to London, he's a flirt. He plays at being a "rake." He sleeps with random women. He goes out drinking with his "friends" all the time, laughs with them at their conquests. But he doesn't enjoy any of it. His mother tells him that he's always been one of her most sensitive children, always putting others first, helping them, trying to lighten the mood. But she also says that he downplays himself for the sake of others. That he puts on armor, that he needs to not put others first so he can ensure that the armor will not some day rust and be unable to be removed. She is possibly the only person who sees Colin, truly sees him.

He feels like he needs to hide his sensitive side, be less needy, be stronger, be more manly. (I would eat my hat if Anthony hasn't told him to "be a man" more than once.) This flirty rake is not who he is at his core. At his core, he is kind, and sensitive, and craves connection. He craves connection so deeply. He wants to be seen, to be loved, to be cared for, to be cherished. Ultimately, he wants someone to value him, like he does for all those around him that he cares about. His family ignored him for that entire summer, and he still brought back incredibly thoughtful gifts for each of them, that shows how much he knows them and loves them. He wants to be able to love, care for, and cherish someone in return.

How is his desire for love and to be loved and this ease in which he creates a new Colin to try and please everyone else not a trauma response related to love and self worth?

#colin bridgerton #bridgerton #i am so tired of everyone being fine with anthony sleeping around but the second that colin does it it's an issue #i am so tired of colin being compared to anthony #he is not the same person as anthony #he has never been the same person as anthony #he is so much better than anthony #and he deserves recognition for who he is #he is a fine fine man #a good man #a kind man #this probably doesn't make a lot of sense because it's late and i'm tired but i'm annoyed and i had to write this out

[the-kingshound]

Hey I just wanted to ask when you plan the next update? It's really good so far and I'm kinda obsessed😂

*cries in bad italian*

I wish I could tell you😢 the truth is that I have something written but I have hit a complete block because doubt has creeped on me. I wanted to scrape everything, to remake the entire structure of the chapter...

So recovering form that I am now trying to read what I have and keep writing from that, cutting myself some slack. I really wanted to have an update ready by february or march... but at this point I'm hoping april.

(On the side, I have been quite busy working at my parents bakery. Because in Italy in Easter people buy and gift each other chocolate eggs and my parents are being worked to the bone)

#ask #sorry for the breakdown #i am sad i don't have an update ready #but i guess this year has been a health issue after another #hope i will be able to write in the late spring and summer

[hina-has-no-life]

We all know how fucked up the situation is for Stolas...but have we thought about how strong of an aneurism Blitz has to get anytime he even looks at Stolas?

Stolas is not just the demon he loves. Stolas is a royal, an Ars Goetia. He is the man Blitz is using. He is married and has a kid, a kid that Blitz KNOWS. He is a childhood friend. He is the son of the guy his dad sold him to for 5$ and a condom. He is the guy Blitz has wonderful sex with. He is the guy Blitz thinks doesn't even like him but he's also doing nice things for him. He's the super powerful demon that saved his and his families life. He is the guy Blitz wants to hate but can't. He is the guy that admitted that Blitz was his only friend. He is the guy that had Blitz as his first gay sex experience. Stolas and Blitz are in an BDSM relationship. Stolas is the guy Blitz robbed TWICE. Stolas is the guy Blitz uses and hurts but Blitz also feels so so bad and guilty about it. Stolas is the guy Blitz feels safe with. No matter what Blitz does he feels so strong and so much for Stolas despite never wanting it. He is someone Blitz couldn't forget for over 2 decades after one afternoon together as kids.

#helluva boss #stolas #blitz #stolitz #been thinking about Blitz a lot lately #this man has so many issues and Stolas is half of them by now

[scaredstupid]

*insert corny ass caption here*

image that this was loosely based on under the cut

#hes literally all ive been drawing lately i think i have issues #his joy and whimsy has enchanted me #kie's art #selfship #self ship #THE BACKGROUND LOOKS NOT GREAT BUT WHATEVERRRR IM PROUD OF THIS #selfship art #self ship art #self insert #s/i #autistic selfship #bipoc selfship #latine selfship #crush tag #s/i: 🌾

[little-demy]

The Sword Cane; Rayne Ames

#fanart #MASHLE #mashle magic and muscles #mashle fanart #rayne ames #rayne #i've been into mashle lately #the mangaka is either love or hate harry potter there is no inbetween #and i love it #i love rayne #of course i love the eldest son with brother issue and has little to no skill in communication #sigh #save me

[fictionadventurer]

The worst part about reading in a genre where you have low expectations (in this case, Christian historical fiction) is that when a book impresses you, you have no idea if it's actually good or if you're just overly impressed because it was a fraction of a degree better than the usual garbage.

#basically lately anytime i read a christian fiction book that isn't romance-based i find myself surprised by the quality #i do think that some christian publishers are getting better #and trying to tell stories that dig deeper into real faith and messy issues #instead of making only vapid squeaky clean prayer-filled tropefests #but i'm not sure *how much* better #because anything above the low bar feels like great literature #the most recent is 'in a far-off land' by stephanie landsem #and let me tell you setting the prodigal son in 1930s hollywood is a genius concept #i have some issues with the history and the mystery #but the characters! #it has been a long time since i cried this hard over a book #several chapters of solid waterworks #(and i also have the issue of figuring out if it's actually that moving or if i'm just hormonal/sleep-deprived) #i keep thinking about this book but also i worry about recommending because what if it's actually terrible by normal book standards? #(also the author DOES NOT understand the seal of confession and i was SHOCKED to find that she's actually catholic) #but also looking at the reviews makes it clear that if most of christian fiction is vapid garbage it's these reviewers' fault #here you have something that's digging into sin and darkness and justice and mercy and these people are just #'how can it call itself christian fiction if it only mentions god at the end?' #are we reading the same book this WHOLE THING is about god! and humanity and our fallen nature and how this breaks relationships! #your pearl-clutching anytime someone tries to get even a tiny bit realistic is destroying this genre #i'm gonna run out of tags so i'll stop now

[pigeon-noises]

Mostly been sketchbook-ing recently - a couple from last month.

#markers #gouache painting #traditional art #sketchbook #angel #myart #really been enjoying drawing in my sketchbook lately - I get a little too wrapped up in making things all perfect with digital #also arm/elbow issue has been acting up again lately #happy anniversary to that injury #cw body horror #just in case for that last one... #original

[seasideoranges]

Bro it breaks my heart that some people will look at the scene with Katara saying Sokka didn’t love their mom like she did and look at Sokka’s scene with Toph when he tells her he doesn’t remember what his mother looks like, and come to the conclusion that he NEVER loved Kya.

#tiktok has been having a field day with assanine takes ive seen lately lmao #Sokka no one will understand your mommy issues like I do #im so sorry I feel like a broken record lmao the atla brain rot is so real #it’s all I can think about #embarrassing really #text

[sageofthestarz]

Some sad kinda fucked Ifrit thoughts because I woke up and they came

Cw; Substance Abuse, Sex as a coping mechanism, and just kinda general sads.

Nothing graphic said but still putting those ^

Ifrit

Big, Strong, oh so stupid Ifrit.

That's what was thought of him. A muscle head who fucked hard, partied hard, and got fucked up without a care.

An easy fuck and go without connections, without having to stick around after sorta thing

That isn't who he was though.

This was all learned behavior because it's what got him the attention he craved, any sense of being useful, cared about even if it was only because his body was useful

He loved and hated every single second of every single hookup, high, and any other thing that got him out of his head

If he wasn't happy he wasn't useful, if he didn't stay the persona they all knew he wouldn't be liked, if she showed just how broken inside he truly was he'd lose everything and everyone he had, no matter how superficial he needed the attention

It didn't matter if it was a vicious cycle of regrets, and horrible sleepless night, bad highs and.. thoughts he shouldn't have. Couldn't have

It was all he had now

His pack was broken.

His pack hated him after he left.

He never bothered to try and reconnect, why would he.

Aether, Mountain, and Dew stayed with the band, Zephyr never spoke to him, Mist was long gone to be with the lake.

He couldn't bother any of them with this.

With him.

He left the pack, he left the band, that was his choice. He left the only people who cared about him and for what? To go and be whatever he was now?

Yes.

Even when he knew he could possibly rekindle something he didn't. Shoved those feelings down and shoved more substance down his throat.

He didn't deserve it.

Didn't deserve to have that happiness.

That comfort.

Ifrit used to be the most caring, lovable golden retriever there was.

Always following someone's trail, loving on them, and doing every favor he could

His pack loved him

He loved his pack

Now a days he's nothing more then an old dog owned by a family long since grown.

One that's waiting for the first excuse to be put down despite all the love it has left to give.

He thinks it's what he deserves.

A life of misery, and pain without comfort.

He watches his old pack in longing, the only happiness coming from seeing how happy and healthy they are

He'd do anything for them even now

He's so happy to see them thrive and love each other

Even if it also breaks his heart.

#He doesnt know how Zeph looks on longing for his mate to come home to him. #He doesn't know how much Aether wants to reach out but doesn't know how that won't send Ifrit farther into the deep end #He doesn't know that after the transition Dew wanted nothing more then for the fire ghoul to help him. comfort him. teach him #Dews been too afraid to ever speak up to him. After a offhanded comment a very fucked up Ifrit made when he smelled the ghouls scent #He couldn't bring himself to thinking he was hated #He doesn't know that the teas and medicines he finds in his medicine cabinet that help a suspicious amount with the exact hangovers #and issues hes been having were Mountain sneeking them in for him. A silent way to care without upsetting him #He doesn't know that the occasional rocks and shells he finds were small trinkets from Mist #He doesn't know that hes still very very loved by his pack #--- #cw substance use #tw substance abuse #These are juet some disjointed Ifrit thoughts #I kinda want to put the tags into the post itself but idk #Too late now #Ifrit has been on my mind so much lately #I think in my lore he does eventually get help and get back into the Pack #Aether and Ifrit are mated in my mind #but also Ifrit and Zeph are #idk it's a lot of thoughts I dont know if I could ever put onto paper #ifrit ghost #ifrit ghoul #dewfrit #aether ghoul #aether ghost #water dew #dewdrop ghost #dewdrop ghoul #dewdrop

[shouts-into-the-void]

To throw my hat in the ring here, my personal theory for Jeremy Knox's unknown fucked up past is that his brother committed suicide, which led to him developing anger issues/self destructive tendencies that were exacerbated by the his former team (I think he mentions them being pretty unsportsmanlike) and eventually escalated into something that got him arrested. He refused to give up exy which the family tried to blame for the issue, so instead his mom had him go to therapy, which helped him— along with the Trojan's general vibe— but at this point his family isn't willing to forgive him due to the potential scandal/whatever happened. I'm thinking the incident probably has something to due with the former exy team as a whole but that's as far as my theory goes.

#i know a lot of people think its because he got outed #but i just dont think so? #like yes the time period and whatnot but i dont think it would have been enough to tear the entire family apart #this isnt well thought out or anything im having late night thoughts #also i hope everyone who has suggested that the issue was jeremy and a step brother having a secret relationship has fucking nightmares #thanks for coming to my ted talk #void rambles #aftg #tsc #jeremy knox #the sunshine court

[crazy-god-bunker-jughead]

I don’t really GET Joplittle most of the time because those guys only spoke to one another like twice. But their dynamic from their few interactions in episode 5 is SO interesting to me. They’re joined in their knowledge of Crozier’s alcoholism and are dealing with the repressions of that. But their responses to it are parallel.

In the cabin scene at the beginning of the episode, Little is so visibly pissed off at Crozier, but does his best to shove it down and follows orders. He’s forced to (try and) hide what’s going on from Fitzjames and now is being made to participate in this by getting Crozier whiskey. A man just DIED, and Crozier is back to speaking about drinking a moment later.

Meanwhile, Jopson has been dealing with Crozier’s alcoholism the longest and knows this is the worst it’s ever been. But he’s not angry like Little, he’s mostly concerned for Crozier’s well-being. (That little pause before “two bottles, sir,”…) He’s a good steward first and foremost, though, so he doesn’t comment and gets the whiskey. Crozier noticeably has a much nicer tone with Jopson.

It’s almost like an eldest child v favorite child dynamic. Edward the angry oldest now shouldering the burdens and Jopson the concerned-yet-empathetic favorite child who mom asked to get another beer.

It's so so so juicy. It’s only really a thing in episode five, but it’s fun to extrapolate on that. You could create such an interesting, fucked up bond for them.

#I finished this draft while high 👍 #Little eldest son voice isn’t this FUCKED UP that she’s doing this and forcing us to deal with it?? Aren’t you mad?? #Jopson favorite son voice well it’s fine she’s just been really sad lately #and then idk #fuck nasty with each other because you can’t with the captain #crozier cannot be a father to me if he’s any parental figure it’s a MOTHER #Jopson has MOMMY ISSUES #the terror #joplittle #POST

[8bit-mau5]

This has been such a tough week and it’s not even the weekend yet 🥲

Can I get some love n positivity? Some pet pics (no rats or snakes)? Or hear what drew y’all in to my art? Asks? Honestly anything rn could help get my mind off things 💙💙 q v q

#with almost having to call the cops several times and waking up unable to breathe yesterday scared me so bad i almost called 911 but like #what was i even gonna say. if i couldnt breathe. acid reflux started choking me in my sleep and I think im p lucky to wake up from it #tbh #im exhausted and honestly still pretty shaky from everything going on so I’m taking a break from working on owed art for at least a week #and try to take things easy.. forcing myself through more and more work i think would only exacerbate the health issues ive been dealing #with as a Result of stress #anyways. ty all for reading this far if u did. im sorry i havent been around much lately but home has been hell for months #i have a few asks from a few nights ago but!! i still have a pinned w/all the trolls i would want more for #if anyones interested in sending things for my characters #or even art suggestions/requests (pertaining to my own OCs) #8bit beeps #on thbe bright side: i have a PCP now! i have health insurance! my first therapists appointment is next week and it's only //FIVE DOLLARS// #a session! #so things are getting better but theres still a lot to deal with

[robo-dino-puppy]

horizon zero dawn | aloy 19/?

#horizon zero dawn #hzd #aloy #her feet look so natural on the branch! that doesn't happen all the time so i love it when it does :D #wearing: #banuk sickness eater #my beloved #hzd aloy #btw i know tumblr has been having some ... Issues lately ... but prior to All That they changed the header behavior in the post editor #and i REALLY APPRECIATE IT thank u whoever made that happen #don't have to scroll up constantly to switch between rich text and html or to switch between blog/sideblog <3