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thiswasinevitableid · 3 years

Note

Could you do an Indruck (or OT4 because you got me into the whole pairing :) ) NSFW ghost prompt? Go nuts, I just love your writing and I trust your creative vision.

Here you go! I went with the OT4. And I’m so glad you like that pairing!

The kitchen box is half-unpacked when there’s a knock on the door. Duck figures it’s the take-out he ordered, so he’s surprised to see a tall guy in nice jeans and short-sleeved dress shirt decorated with Jackalopes. Unless the Thai place uses male supermodels as delivery boys, this isn’t his Pad Thai.

“Uh, hey, what can I do for you?”

“I’m your downstairs neighbor, so I wanted to come up and introduce myself. I hope I’m not interrupting dinner.”

“Nope, still waitin on it. Nice to meet you, name’s Duck.” He holds out his hand and Mr. Gorgeous shakes it.

“Joseph. Oh, um, here” he produces a small greeting card with a sea monster on it, “welcome to the neighborhood.” His pocket rings, and so he excuses himself, hurrying down the stairs with his phone to his ear. The card contains a gift certificate to the coffee shop on the corner.

They don’t cross paths again right away. It’s more that Duck will move Joe’s packages into the main hall rather than leave them on a rainy porch, and Joe delivers Pinecone the cat back to him after she slips out the door and down the stairs while Duck wrestles his keys.

As it warms up, they use the pool around the same time each day (which is how Duck learns Joe’s had top surgery, same as him), and start talking more in the lobby when they see each other. He learns Joseph works for the FBI in the UP, the agreement being he can make X-files jokes as long as Joe gets to make Smokey the Bear references in return. The way Joseph laughs, water streaming down his honest-to-god defined abs as he pulls himself onto the edge of the pool, makes Duck glad he’s never seen a boyfriend coming or going from the other mans apartment.

Tonight, he’s done helping Joe get all his groceries up the stairs in one go, and decides to go for it.

“Hey, uh, Joe? You doin’ anythin tomorrow night?”

“No.” He studies Duck’s body language and gives an encouraging smile.

“In that case; wanna get dinner?”

----------------------------------------------------------------------

“I think this building is haunted.”

Duck, head still resting on Joe’s chest after jacking him off as thanks for an excellent blowjob, laughs, “That’s some interestin pillow talk you got there.”

“Are you that surprised?”

“No, you fuckin nerd.” He nips his collarbone, shifting so they’re each on their sides, facing one another, “for real though, why do you think we got ghosts runnin’ around?”

“At first I thought I was imagining it, or that I felt like I was being watched because the cases studies I was reading put the suggestion in my head. Then things started moving around the apartment, and now and then I swear I hear people whispering. I tracked the sound one day and it was coming from the wall that looks out onto the street. No one was down there, and if it were the result of an echo or strange acoustics, I’d notice it more.”

“Huh.” Duck pokes the inside of his cheek with his tongue.

“Still, I’m not ready to say for certain that it’s haunted. That kind of thing requires concrete evidence that I just don’t have. Sorry, shouldn’t talk shop when I have a, um, guest.” He wiggles back into Duck’s space, kissing him gently, and Duck forgets what they were talking about.

---------------------------------------------

He knows Ouija Boards are a dodgy investigation tool at the best of times, but today he came home to find all his laundry folded when he had, much to his chagrin, had to leave it in the bag in a rush to get to work.

No one has a key to his place. Which means whoever did that had another way in.

He clears his throat, “If there is a ghost or other supernatural entity in the apartment with me, I wanted to say thank you for putting my clothes away.”

Nothing but his own creeping humiliation, then a slight chill across his face. The planchette moves

U.R. W.E.L.C.O.M.E

“HAH!” He whoops, “I was right! My apartment is haunted. Okay, um, spirit, do you have a name?”

B.A.R.C.L.A.Y

“It’s nice to officially meet you, Barclay. You’ve been spending a lot of time around me.”

Y.E.A.H S.O.R.R.Y

“You don’t need to apologize, I don’t mind it. You’re not malevolent, and if this was your apartment when you died, I can’t very well get mad at you for hanging around. Are you able to become visible?”

YES

“Is there, um, a reason you’ve never materialized around me?”

D.I.D.N.T W.A.N.T T.O S.C.A.R.E Y.O.U

“You won’t, I’m a professional. And I’m curious about the person I’m sharing my home with.”

The planchette trembles, unsure of it’s direction at first.

S.H.Y

That explanation never occurred to him.

“That’s alright. If you ever change your mind, know you don’t have to hide on my behalf.”

------------------------------------------------------------------

“Barclay, even I can tell that was an invitation to interact with him. What more are you waiting for?” Indrid cocks his head.

“Maybe he’s just trying to appease me because he’s scared of ghosts?”

“Those ‘paranormal romances’ on his shelf suggest otherwise.” Indrid touches Barclay’s cheek. They’re in the wall, their shared nature meaning they can see, hear, and touch each other without trying, “dearest, you’re clearly fond of him, and he’s eager to meet you.”

Barclay’s beard scratches his palm, “Yeah, I know. I’m just...I like to take things slow and, uh, I guess this is no exception.”

Indrid chuckles, dryly adds “Yes, I recall how long after propositioning you it took for you to practically bang down my door.”

“Okay, hot little art punk who literally asked me if I wanted to see what his tongue piercing felt like on my dick is the exception.” He kisses Indrid’s cheek before drifting away.

Indrid floats up into his former apartment, now occupied by Duck Newton. He spends most of his days on the couch while Duck is off at work, watching T.V or reading or, increasingly, playing with Pinecone, the only being he’s materialized for in some time. He’s been content to never alert Duck to his existence, but yesterday he overheard him remaining skeptical at the idea of the building being haunted, much to Joseph’s disgruntlement. Indrid’s as well; Barclay isn’t the only one who finds Joseph attractive and charming.

So he thinks Duck deserves some low-stakes haunting of his own.

---------------------------------------

Duck’s having a hell of a week. The hinges on his cabinets must be going, because they keep falling open, his router keeps getting unplugged (probably by Pinecone), and no matter how he insulates, there’s a chill in the living room.

Worst off all, when he pulled the fridge away from the wall to see if it was to blame for the cold spot, it revealed a hole into the wall that is just big enough for Pinecone to get into. Which she did, last night, and will not come out no matter what he tries.

When he walks into the living room after work, his brain stalls out. The good news is, Pinecone is no longer in the wall.

The bad news is she’s floating at a fixed point four feet about the floor.

His cat notices him, mrrps, and lands on the floor. All Joe’s talk of ghosts suddenly feels very real and points at one conclusion.

“Holy shit” he picks up the black and brown ball of fluff, “my cat’s fuckin’ possessed.”

“Not quite” the voice in his ear is quiet, lilting.

“JESUSFUCK.” He spins to face an invisible interloper, Pinecone firmly in his arms.

A smile, and only a smile, appears a fear inches above his eyeline, “Do you still doubt the building is haunted?”

“Wh--motherfucker, you’re Joe’s ghost and you decided to talk to me? To what, make a point?”

“Yes and no. Yes in that I wanted you to stop doubting my existence. No in that Barclay is the former resident of Josephs’ dwelling. I am a former resident of this one.”

The implications of there being a ghost dedicated to his apartment hit him like a train, “Have you just been hangin around me since I moved in, watchin my every move?”

The smile wavers, “Nono, nothing so alarming. I usually come here when you’re at work, or spend time with Barclay in the spaces between walls and worlds. That’s, ah, not to say I haven’t been in the armchair while you were watching T.V on the couch, but in my defense you have very interesting taste in documentaries.” The ghost notices Duck’s alarm, and the smile fades from view, “I apologize. It was rude of me to be in your space without permission. Space is a much more malleable thing when you’re a ghost, but that is no excuse.”

“I mean, yeah, it’s fuckin creepy.”

Pinecone jumps from his grasp, winds herself in a circle around what must be ghostly legs.

“But uh, my cat likes you. And she can be skittish. I, uh, worry about her gettin lonely on days when I work late. So you can hang around when I’m out. But other’n that we gotta play by vampire rules; you don’t come into my space unless invited. Deal?”

The smile flickers back into view, “Deal.”

---------------------------------------------------------

Joseph, all too aware of his own perfectionist nature, tries to avoid jealousy. It only ever serves to poison him against others and his own fragile inner being.

But lord almighty is he jealous that Duck got a verbal, physical visit from his specter, Indrid, while Barclay doesn’t so much as whisper in Joseph’s vicinity. It had been hard to be envious in the moment, because he was too excited by the news, to the point that he climbed into Ducks lap and started kissing him because all his adrenaline needed an outlet.

Then Duck had frozen, asking if he thought the ghosts would watch them hook-up. Joseph pointed out that Indrid had promised to only visit when invited and Barclay was polite, so odds were good they were truly alone. He kept the fact that Duck’s suggestion made him instantly hard to himself.

(Duck picked up on it anyway, if the jokes about Ghost and the supremely satisfying make-out session were anything to go by).

He’s making fried rice for dinner, is mid-way through chopping green onions when his phone buzzes. A glance over his shoulder reveals it’s not a work call or an emergency. Suddenly, something cold and strong grips his right hand and there is, without a doubt, a human frame pressed to his back. He can’t move his hand, follows the line of his knife and sees the next chop would have caught his finger.

“Barclay?”

“Yeah. Sorry I, uh, just didn’t want you cutting a finger off.” The hold on him disappears as that baritone drips down his spine.

Joseph turns just as Barclay comes into view; he’s taller than Joseph, a rare thing given he’s six-foot, with shaggy brown hair and a short, coppery beard. Full lips and brown eyes round out the face that is straight from Joseph’s fantasies.

“Wow. Um, I mean, thank you for saving me a trip to the emergency room.”

“No problem.”

Drawing on years of training, he tries to keep the other man talking, “Were you just passing through?”

“Kinda. This is gonna sound weird but, uh, I loved cooking when I was alive. Sometimes I like to be close by when you’re cooking so I can get some of the sensations again.”

Joseph steps to the side, gesturing to the cutting board, “Do you...want to help me make dinner? If you can interact with my body, you should be able to prepare veggies no problem.”

Barclay hesitantly steps to the counter, shakes his head when Joseph offers the knife, “I have to dematerialize first. Being visible and being solid take so much energy that I can only do one or the other.”

“Fascinating. Just, um, I hope I get to see your face again.”

Barclay disappears, and a half-second later an invisible hand squeezes his arm, “Think I can manage that.”

Barclay joins him for dinner regularly after that. Duck recovers fairly quickly to Joseph’s spectral assistant, especially when Barclay makes him french onion soup. Joseph suspects Duck is also getting used to ghosts in general, since more than once he’s knocked on the door and walked in to find the ranger conversing with Indrid (though Indrid insists on remaining dematerialized).

Tonight it’s just him and Barclay, and Joseph is busy sticking his foot in his mouth.

“I’m sorry, that’s a rude question-”

Barclay chuckles, “Not really, it’s kinda the first thing everyone wants to know about ghosts, right? Why we’re here? Short answer is, uh” he sighs, “I had a heart condition but not the time or money to get it checked out. Fucking thing failed me one Sunday morning at that was it. Poor Indrid found me. We had a casual thing going and he had a key to my place. Came to check on me when he heard me hit the ground.”

“Oh Barclay, that sounds awful for you both.”

“Yeah, death isn’t my fave.” Barclay lays down, disappearing so his head can rest properly in Joseph’s lap. The agent feels around until he finds soft hair, petting it as Barclay continues his story.

“At first I thought my unfinished business might have to do with Indrid. But when he died pretty soon after, I kinda figured it was more that when I died, the direction I went was the ‘become a ghost’ one and not, like, the ‘rest in peace’ one.”

“Do you wish you could move on? Because I have access to a lot of classified occult information.”

The head under his hand turns, the direction of the motion suggesting Barclay is looking up at him, “Gotta be honest, lately being a ghost has gotten way more interesting.”

------------------------------------------------

It takes two drawers before Duck finds where he put the AAA batteries. The package is already open, and when he gets to the living room his Carbon Monoxide detector is floating, back removed as fresh batteries click into place.

“Damn, ‘Drid, the thing just started beepin about it’s low battery.”

“Such things cannot be delayed. Trust me.”

“....Oh fuck, is that what got you?”

The detector slips back onto it’s wall mount, “Yes. I, I was always so careful, trying to prepare for every possible disaster. When Barclay died I, ah, I found it harder to do daily tasks. One of those was replacing the batteries in this” a plastic tap, “the low-power beep kept bothering me, so I detached it, planning to fix it in the morning. Then the next morning, and the next, and so on. Well, I put it off one too many times. A mundane, pointless death if there ever was one.”

Duck sets the battery package on the table, opening his arms. Cold fingers cling to the back of his shirt as Indrid hugs him. Duck does his best to soothe the ghost, rocking them subtly in a way that works wonders on his living friends.

“Thank you” spectral eyelashes flutter against his neck as Indrid burrows against him. They say nothing else, staying in the embrace until Pinecone pads over and demands dinner.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Duck just means to drop off the books he borrowed from Joe, finds the door unlocked and figures the other man is home, probably cooking or yelling at a bigfoot hunting show. When he doesn’t see him in the living room, he pokes his head down the hall.

It takes a moment for his brain to process what he’s seeing. By the time it does, he’s already backing out the door.

Okay, he just walked in on his sorta-boyfriend getting railed by a ghost, face buried against the bed, moaning while a cock he couldn’t see spread his ass open over and over again. That’s fine, that’s completely fine and not hot at all, he’s just taking his pants off in his living room for unrelated reasons.

“Ah, Duck?”

“Fuck!” He looks around, trying to work out where Indrid is and how much he can see.

The couch cushions shift, “I apologize, I thought you were out running errands.”

“S’okay” He pulls his hand out of his boxers, “I, uh, I was just, uh, tryin to, uh…”

The ghost waits patiently for him to come to the truth.

Duck sighs, slumps down on what he’s pretty sure is a free spot, “Walked in on Joe and Barclay.”

“I see. Does it bother you?”

“No. I, uh, kinda got the sense they were into each other, and we ain’t exclusive.”

The smile appears next to him, invisible fingers tracing up his arm “Does it do something else to you?”

“Indrid, please I already got the weirdest fuckin boner right now.”

“And I am offering to help. I know I often joke about sharing Barclay’s taste in men but…” a light, chilly kiss on his cheek, “I share Joseph’s as well. I would very much like the chance to show you what I mean.” The fingers and lips teasing his skin cease their touches; space to refuse that Duck appreciates.

“You know what? Fuck it” Duck works his pants the rest of the way off, throws his boxers after them, “get on your knees, sugar, and show me what you mean.”

“Ooh, I get a pet name!” Indrid claps, excited, rests his hands on Duck’s knees after he spreads them. Duck tracks his position by his smile, is unprepared for how strange it feels when it dives between his thighs. He’s used to Joe, all hot breath and enthusiastic precision. This is like the time an ex tried using an ice cube but way, way better, the chill heightening the sensations rather than numbing them.

It’s also teasing, and he grunts, tipping his hips up, “‘Drid, please.”

“Patience, sweetheart, I haven’t done anything like this in years, I intend to take my time.” A playful tongue drags up his dick.

“Sugar, I’ll let you do this every day for a week, figure out how to give a ghost a fuckin hand job, anythin, but if I don’t cum soon I’m gonna combust. So get that cute little mouth where it belongs and suck my dick.”

The smile sharpens, “Make me.”

He threads his fingers into Indrid’s hair, shoving him forward. The ghost moans, tongue working across his folds in rapid swipes. Curious, he tugs on the soft strands and a messy purr vibrates up his dick.

“Someone like it rough?”

He feels the responding nod. Tightens his grip, “Then fuckin suck it like I told you too, sugar.”

Cold lips envelope his dick, Indrid moaning as he sucks. One hand rubs what his mouth can’t attend to, but the other leaves Duck’s knee right before Indrid’s whimpers grow shorter.

“That’s it, get off while I fuck your face, fuck, Joe’s really onto somethin with this paranormal shit, you’re so good sugar, fuckme that’s good. C’mon” he jerks his hips, orgasm building mercifully fast, “make me cum, like that, right fuckin there ohfuck.” He cums, feet scuffing on the rug. Indrid’s moan turns to a gasp as he pulls away, cum making a damp spot on the ground.

Duck pets his hair, “Sure showed me.”

Indrid snickers, turns to press his face to kiss his palm.

“‘Drid? You, uh, you don’t have to, but could I see you? All of you?”

His hands cradle air as a man forms before him; lanky and bony, hair dyed silver with black roots showing, pierced ears and lip, tattoos coating the arms that stick out from a white tank-top. He bites his lip, awaiting judgement as Duck sinks off the couch to sit with him.

“Not gonna lie, sugar, mighty peeved you kept usin my pens and didn’t even let me see this face everyday as payment.”

Indrid blinks, then laughs, loud and relieved, “I’m glad you approve; I am not everyone’s type.”

“Sure as hell are mine.” Duck puts his hand through his knee, frowns, “wish I could hold you and see you at the same time. Be that as it may, know you’re always runnin cold. You, uh, wanna join me for a little afternoon nap?”

“Of course” he fades away, and takes Ducks’ hand.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Duck’s never seen Joe this excited which, given that they went to a “Cryptids in Film” exhibit last weekend, is saying something.

“Ready?” His boyfriend tightens the strap-on harness, sporting Duck’s favorite of his dicks.

“You know it, darlin.”

Joe climbs onto the bed, makes a suave roll onto his back and pats his thighs, “Then come here. I want to see as much of you as possible while I fuck you.”

“You’re the boss, handsome.” He sinks down with a groan, slowly rocking his hips to get warmed up.

Joe gropes his ass, growling, “Lord, look at this. Your ass is incredible, Duck, just like the rest of you.”

He dips down to kiss him in reply, messing up that dark hair and leaving a hickey on his collarbone. A chill runs up his spine and he shudders; two days ago, after the two ghosts and two humans hashed out who was dating who and what that meant, Joe admitted to a fantasy in which he and Duck were rudely interrupted by two horny paranormal entities.

Duck kisses the corner of his mouth, grinds down with a whine, “c’mon Joe, know you can go harder than that.”

“The angle isn’t to my advantage.”

“Well then” purrs a voice from their right, “let’s remedy that.”

Duck’s pulled sideways, the momentum enough to reverse their positions and pop the toy loose.

“Now, pet, you are going to start fucking him again, and I’m going to fuck you to insure the pace is the perfect one for my dear Duck.”

The strap-on slides back in, Duck arching when it does. Joe’s hips snap forward, propelled by something other than the strength of his muscles.

“AHlord, Indrid, yes. Is, is that good?” His blue eyes focus on Duck, who pulls him down into a kiss, panting as Indrid uses Joe to fuck him hard and fast. Then Joe’s head whips up and sideways, an invisible cock forcing it’s way into his mouth to muffle his moans.

“Fuck, that’s it babe, get me hard so I can fuck you when Indrid’s had his fill.”

“That may take some time. Never fear, I have other plans for my pet.”

Joe squeaks, and Duck watches the muscles of his ass flex in new ways as black silicone appears and retreats from view over and over. From under him, Duck has a singularly good view of his lips stretching to accommodate Barclay, who’s busy demanding he look him in the eye when he takes his cock. He runs a loving hand up Joe’s chest, strokes the cheek not bulging with the head of a thick cock.

“Fuck that’s hot.” His body agrees, but in spite of his boyfriends’ joint efforts and the obscene view making him wetter by the second, his orgasm eludes him.

“J-joe, ‘Drid, please I, I’m real fuckin close but I need more pressure or, fuck, or friction or somethingfuck, hell fuckin yeah that’s it.” He pumps his hips, Barclay having freed Joe to bury his face in Ducks’ neck and put strip of the harness holding the toy where Duck can rub off on it.

“That’s it, like that Joe, ‘Drid, fuckfuckfuckfuck” He gasps, eyes rolling back in his head as the orgasm shoots through him. It’s perfect, made more so by the knowledge that Indrid will let him bask in the aftershocks.

Joe, however, is in for something very different. Duck is still getting his vision back when the harness takes an unceremonious flight off the bed. As he sits up, the plug takes the same journey, and he knows Joe will insist on cleaning it even more thoroughly than usual now that it’s been on the rug.

His boyfriend is on his knees, lowering with incremental bursts of effort and jerks of his hips. When he stops with a moan, it looks as though his ass is hovering in mid-air. Phantom indentations press into his hips.

“Very good pet” Indrid’s voice is turning breathy, “no, lean back so Barclay can fuck you raw while I make short work of this tight” Joe jolts up as Indrid bucks his hips, “little” another jolt, “ass” a final jolt before Joe tips backwards, opening his legs.

Duck watches, mesmerized, as Joe is spread open, feet lifting off the blanket as more indents appear beneath his knees. The agent, usually so articulate, does nothing but moan at the invisible intrusion.

“Fuckin-A, I’ll never get tired of this babe, you’re fucking dripping for me and it’s so fucking hot, how much of a fucking needy, dirty guy you are.”

Joe reaches one hand forward, trying to run his fingers up Barclay’s chest. The other extends towards Duck, and the ranger crawls so he can take it, kissing it as the indents of Indrid’s arms wrap around Joe’s lower belly.

“I’d hold tight, dearest.”

“Why-”

Duck’s answer comes in the form of a yelp from Joe. To anyone else, it would look like the agent is trying and failing to wrestle the air. His back arches, making every sinful line of his body tense, while his hands claw at the bed and Duck’s arm and his legs bounce uselessly in the air.

Duck peers around, careful not to bonk his head into Barclay. From here Joe is on full display, both holes stretching and twitching to take what they’re given. He wishes it was easier for him to get hard again; all he can think about is sitting on Joe’s face while the others fuck him like this, catch this sobbing moans in his skin while he’s reduced to nothing but a plaything for the paranormal.

“Damn, darlin, you’re takin it like a champ. Maybe next time I’ll film it for ya, so you can see how fuckin hot you look getting fucked to pieces on some ghost dick.”

A louder sob of pleasure, and as he goes to soothe him with kisses Barclay grunts, “Don’t you fucking pull away, don’t care if you just came you’re fucking taking it all.”

“Do hurry up with him, Barclay. Ah, perfect, thank you.” With that, the forces bouncing Joe in the air come only from beneath him, Indrid pumping mercilessly into his ass and punching little “ah, aah, ahnns” out of him. He’s so blissed out that Duck can’t help himself, steadies his face in his hands so he can kiss him while Indrid cums with a high cry.

There’s an “oof” as Indrid rolls Joe’s head into Duck’s lap. A hand turns Duck by his chin so he can get a kiss before Indrid becomes visible. Barclay appears at Joe’s feet, does his best to lay parallel to him and then disappears.

“You always did like to spoon immediately after.” Indrid says fondly, drifting to sit beside Duck.

“Mhmmm” comes the rumbly reply.

“You okay, darlin?” Duck brushes the hair from Joe’s face as blue eyes flutter open.

“Never better. Oh!” He sits up abruptly, Duck is more used to his boyfriend’s post-orgasm bursts of inspiration than the other two and thus doesn’t jump in surprise, “I found a potentially useful book at work the other day…”

---------------------------------------------

“So, uh, how long do we have?” Barclay brushes lint from his shirt, stepping outside the chalk pattern on the floor somewhat hesitantly.

“As long as the candle burns. Which is why I bought one that can stay lit for at least ten hours.” He offers his hand and his fully visible, touchable boyfriend takes it. Indrid, having more trust in occult processes, practically leapt over the chalk a moment ago to kiss him and Duck. Joseph draws Barclay into his arms, “which is all to say: we have plenty of time for date night.”

#OT4: Government Men and Their Cryptid Boyfriends #reader requests #monster march #ghost AU #Indruck #sternclay #agent stern/barclay/indrid cold/Duck newton #duck newton/agent stern #indrid cold/agent stern

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xxbakacoconutxx · 4 years

Video

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So here’s a nice little interview with Tobias where he talks about Copia, changing characters, the three times Papa III fell, a common nightmare, horror movies with his kids and horror movies in general. The volume is pretty low, so I’ve typed everything out below the read more!

Nudge: This is Nudge on the bus here with Tobias Forge. It is an honor to be here, sir. Thank you for creating an entire universe with your music.

Tobias: Thank you for enjoying it. [laughs]

Nudge: I’ve enjoyed it from the very start. Now, I wanna start out in the – Cardinal Copia… Your backstory with him, he won the most employee of the month awards from Papa Nihil. What kind of crazy stuff did he have to do for that?

Tobias: Uhhm…. For my well-being, I’m actually quite happy that I don’t know.

[Someone in the background laughs]

Tobias: I don’t want to think about whatever chores there are within the ministry that adds up to employee of the month. I don’t know exactly.

Nudge: You don’t know? But that’s alright.

[Someone in the background says “but I’m sure it’s hard work”]

Nudge: Speaking of hard, when you transition to another singer with Ghost, is it hard to say goodbye to that particular character? That front man?

Tobias: Uhm… I usually feel a bit ambivalent about that segment of… you know it’s always enthusias- like I’m always enthusiastic about making a new record, and also very very pumped about having a new release as much as any artist, I guess, and from a creative point of view, it’s always refreshing. And it’s exciting, but that bit is definitely putting a limiter on that excitement, unfortunately. But I’ve learned over the years, of doing it a couple times, that it’s just part of the program and uh….yeah. [laughs]

Nudge: Now Cardinal Copia is sticking around for a second album. At one point, he was called an imposter. Do you still feel he’s an imposter, or has he proved himself?

Tobias: I think he’s fine, I mean I think he’s cool. I would love- like also from the previous questions asked- to do it that way. [laughs] Because then that means you don’t have to change that much. But still, it’s like, also like reconfiguring the look of the band is also like a…it’s a hard thing to um… Imagine if your … it’s almost to the point where - if you’ve had a long, big beard and long hair for a long time and all of a sudden you shave everything off, it takes time to sort of like adjust to that because you have, you know, this picture in your head of what you’re doing and… but throughout all these years of doing Ghost it is a sort of a schizophrenic experience just because you are so distant. Me, personally, my own vision of myself does not correlate with what I see on a picture of us playing last night. It’s like this completely different being. So, adding to that is like when you’ve done the first few shows of a tour cycle and with a new costume and with the new look of the band it always feels a little bit like “ok, so this is what we are now?” [laughs] You know, it’s always a little strange.

Nudge: With new costumes, it’s been rumored that Cardinal Copia is still working hard at becoming a Papa. Are you excited for that movement? And getting promoted?

Tobias: Um, potentially yeah. Yeah, yeah I’m very curious to see where we’re going as well.

Nudge: what does he have to do to get promoted?

Tobias: [in a funny voice] oh, meters and meters of – [regular voice] no! [laughs] Uh, I dunno. Hard work and… that’s what it is. Hard work, and don’t fuck up.

[Someone laughs in the background]

Nudge: Has he fucked up in your opinion? On these last legs of the tour?

Tobias: No, I mean, I mean even compared to his brother in the past… uhm, no his brother- that was the previous guy… uh [laughs nervously] compared to the previous dudes, Cardi has not - so far - fallen off stage, which is a good thing.

[Someone is the background says “Oh I remember that video. Did that hurt?”]

Tobias: I-I wouldn’t know!

Nudge: He didn’t complain?

Tobias: He felt - like, Papa III fell three times. Three times was… like- hard. Like I remember there was one time at a festival in LA and that wasn’t very- it wasn’t involved with pain, but it was one of those where the air almost like [makes a coughing/wheezing noise]. And uh, the one on the Iron Maiden show where he fell into a hole on stage- or technically it was in between the two sort of thrusts – that could have ended very badly. Because it was a jack in the leg and would have been a jack in the back of the head hadn’t it been for the extra padding. So that could’ve ended very, very badly. And what else was it…?

Nudge: It was impressive that he went on and didn’t miss a beat after he got back up.

Tobias: Right, well we were lucky because we were doing it in between Mummy Dust and Monstrance Clock so there was the speech thing in between and had it been like just a dry start into the next song it would have been probably not doable. I had sit down and I was sitting on the edge of the stage just like “my god”, just feeling - like touching my leg and it was all numb and I could feel that it was all messed up underneath and it was bloody, and… and um, you know when you injure yourself sometimes you feel so nauseous? [Person in background says “yeah”] You’re about to- you know I was almost hurling like [makes pained noise] and you feel all shook up.

And the third time was in Leeds, of all places. We have these ego risers, which is basically just a box on stage - on the edge of the stage - with a little bit of grating on and then underneath you have like pyro and things that sort of- lights and stuff. But you can jump up on it, and we do that all the time, and this was a night like any other so we do that little bounce and you land with two feet on that box. But one foot was outside the box, so I just went like, almost head first down into the pit. And I sort of landed on all fours, sort of like a cat like [makes a “kch” sound] but I sort of hit my head on the mojo fence. Because you know, the barrier has like one um, sort like leg that it’s resting... um what do you call it… angular to sort of support the crowd. So, landing on all fours like that, but then hit my head right on the, on that little leg there.

Nudge: Speaking of horror stories, is there any mask horror stories? I find it impressive that performers wear a mask and go through all that. Is there one where it almost fell off or you lost it?

Tobias: oh, I thought you said whores- [laughs] no, no. Um, horror stories… well, I mean the most terrifying things that I usually dream about, which is a nightmare – which I know several others in the band also have, and I think it comes sort of with the fact that, I think most entertainers that are due to stand on stage at a certain time and prepare to do something dream this, it’s like – every now and then I dream that we’re sort of circling up before the show and we’re like “alright, go!” and everybody runs up to their positions and then you notice that you’re standing there in your civil clothing like “…no!” [laughs] uhm, but other than that, like…. Yeah, sneezing in it is not very cool.

[Someone in the background laughs]

Tobias: I’ve done that a couple times.

Nudge: [laughs] It’s trapped in it

Tobias: Yeah, yeah.

Nudge: Let’s go to the family side of you. You don’t get a lot of time at home, so I’d like to know: when you’re home what kind of family fun activities do you enjoy?

Tobias: One thing that I enjoy now which I’ve been waiting for, for years- I’ve always been, I mean, I come from a very liberal home, we’ve always been very… you know, my mom was very…allowing? And I had an older brother so I saw a lot of things that I maybe shouldn’t have seen. And many, many, many nights… mom sleeping on the couch and I’m seeing late night films with her sort of just sleeping next to me. And that could’ve been anything, like Scarface, Alien, you name it. Like all those things, when I was like 5, 6, 7, 8, 9. Um, Shining. So my relationship to a lot of these films are very, very- I connect it with my childhood, like I connect it with so many nostalgic things… And I guess I was a little quick sometimes with my kids, like “Yeah, Temple of Doom, sure” like, and it-

[Someone in the background says “yeah, see a heart get ripped out!”]

Tobias: Yeah, and basically that scene was just like… caused like, a negative effect and like… “What’s…? This is like a matinee Lucas/Spielberg film…?”

[Someone in the background says “Rated PG!”]

Tobias: Yeah, yeah, like, totally fine! But now they’re 10 and my son has been - started to show real interest in horror films. He’s like really into Chucky and Child’s Play and you know, he wants to see Friday the 13th and like, “I’m game!”

[Someone in the background says “Oh yeah!”]

Nudge: you have to take him to see the new Child’s Play movie that’s coming out.

Tobias: Yeah that’s the one that we haven’t seen.

[Someone in the background “It’s coming out in a few months I think. There’s a new trailer for it.”]

Tobias: Yeah, I hope it’s as humoristic as the other ones. But most films that’re being remade, they have a tendency to completely not be charming anymore and they’re just like filled with jump-scares and it’s just horrible from first to last second. And that’s not really cool. I mean, all the horror films that I love are sort of very well balanced where there are segments of just transportation. So they’re just, you know there’s just better pacing in the old film.

Nudge: Alright, final question: what is your favorite horror film? Or a couple?

Tobias: My favorite ones… if I’m just going for like, for pure quality, it’s definitely the big cinematic releases like Jaws, Silence of the Lambs, Shining, Omen, The Exorcist, like the real films done by directors who don’t normally do horror films because that tends to get better that way. But on the other hand, I’m a big fan - from an entertainment point of view - of the more specialized like, genre directors. But those films have a lot of other qualities. It’s not techn- they’re not necessarily like, the best films.

[Someone in the background says “Mmhmm, like B movies”]

Tobias: Right! Yeah, yeah, yeah. That I really enjoy. Um, but yeah I mean I like a lot of the Italian like- old- like Fulci, like stuff like that. And not throwing him under the bus in any way, I think a lot of his films are fantastic, but they do not compare to Kubrick. It’s like a completely different level. So I sort of differentiate between like, here you have the “A grade”, big cinematic, fuckin box office success films, and then you have all of the cult films. They’re sort of two different things. And a lot of the things I grew up watching as well, that I have like a very fond memory of seeing, that I used to obsess about when I was a kid as well, like Friday the 13th and Texas Chainsaw Massacre is obviously – obviously that’s, even though it’s not a huge budget film, that is obviously very good. I think Terror - we say Terror in Sweden because it’s called Terror on Elm Street - but Nightmare on Elm Street, the whole Freddie series – especially the first four… three…. four films - I’d say is really cool. Every time I’m in LA I always swing by that, the house that’s on Genesee Street just because it’s like “there it is!”

[Someone in the background chuckles]

Nudge: Well I appreciate the time, man. Thank you so much for what you do. I appreciate it, and have a good show tonight.

#Tobias Forge #Cardinal Copia #Ghost #The Band Ghost

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bigmafluff · 3 years

Text

Unreal Love Story “Henry Cavill” chapters 1-3

Sequel To My Story “Tom Hiddleston”

Summery

“ Tom Dear ! She is gone!” His mother says when her son barges thru her front door. Diana Hands a sobbing Charlie to His Stunned father Leading them into the house to a computer sitting @ her kitchen table with a flash drive in it. Just as Tom is about to say something . His Mom hush's them both and starts the video. I start with calming Charlie through the computer. “ Hello Little one . I'm am sorry I have to leave you so. But You are a strong young man . Sometimes even stronger than your father at times. Just know that I love you dear one and will always be your special friend . Now dry those tears and Go see Nanna . So Your dad and I can talk.” I said to Charlie thru the computer. Tom Knew after that our relationship was over maybe had been over for a while.

Chapter 1

Numbness,& NASCAR

I couldn't Stay in London. It hurt too much all I saw was pain. I couldn't go home yet still felt like I failed myself some how so home wouldn't work. So I numbed myself out in Cali. I did what I swore I wouldn't. I went full Party Girl. Between the parties ,clubs, Bars I was wasted most of the time. But I knew that being In Love Like this before then Losing love has it's down side . Tom and I had been it for 3 years. But towards the end I was more His son's nanny than his girlfriend . Most of his friends warned me this was one sided . He never got over Sophia Di Marino ,Charlie's Mom. The split was Mutual. I'm Not mad to be truthful. Annoyed really that I let it go on this long ..

So California I went , to numb the hurt. I don't give a rat's ass what they say about better to have Loved crap ! It still hurt's dammit! So Party Shannon I became. I still wrote my stories without impairment. By day I was the mildly hungover writer coffee in hand . Luca was still Daydreaming so I was still writing. But @ night Let's just say in the great words of Bill & Ted .” Party on Dudes” So I did. Shaking my ass Beer in hand in a club in south beach ! Rockin' out to Pink. I am vaguely aware I am Jamming with a rather large Englishmen Go Figure ! He has a familiar tone I can't place ,frankly all I see is curls ,beard & muscle , Cause I'm too drunk and don't care but he was hot and can grind Like no other. But even though I was no lady ,he was a gentleman And at the end of the night I was in my Hotel room clothes and dignity intact.

Woke the next morning with another hangover that I never use to get when I was younger. They still Suck! UGH! I'm about to start typing when I get a feed from TMZ. “TWH PROPOSES TO SDM!” I switch on my TV and sure enough The rock on her finger is massive and Charlie Looks so Happy . The numbness lifts along with the pain . I can see the sun again so I finally pack my stuff .

But not for England . I head home. I decide I need time with my son . So Arkansas, Hot Springs that is. Although when I get there I find out my son is in Florida . In Daytona Beach. At the Racetrack! My nephew Christian and his wife Kiki took Lucas to a NASCAR race and Somehow Lucas Landed a job as head mechanic for Carlos Contreras's race team. Shocked as I was, I get on a flight to Florida it is a good shocked but WOW. I got a Hotel room and then went to the track . Took me a little convincing to get in . Security walked me to the Pit where I found my baby boy covered in grease. Under a car . When Lucas jumped up and hugged me they left us alone . test moment's in a parent's life is seeing your child seceded at something he loves. This was Lucas's dream !Like writing is for me. It was his turn. Lucas Introduced me to Carlos with sparkles in his eyes . Carlos seemed to Like what My Son does. Even tells me that Because of my Boy, Carlos has won 8 races. How more proud can I get I am in tears. While I was here I went to a few races and Lucas and I raided the theme parks. Then one night Lucas had a grown up moment and told me I had to go back to the U.K.. He said I write my best stuff there and I need to make peace with Myself. How did my Autistic Son get so smart. Then he tells me. He is a big Guy now and He didn't need his Mom to hover.

Chapter 2

Something New

So once I'm back in London. I dust off My flat that Luke made sure I got despite me moving in with Tom. Besides writing, a few friend's gave me the intro to the London night life and I found a outlet to unwind . But I didn't drown myself like in Cali. But I still maintained my Party Mama status. Also I am exercising regularly, to compensate for the Night life . But I found that I have way's now that I am Back to make exercising fun. I do the Gym of course. But I also like rollerskating in Hyde or St. James park, when it's sunny. I found a Ice Skating rink that is 7 day's a week. And there is a indoor pool at the Gym I go to. .

But I realized some things while I was home in the states. I can't ever forget where I came from . So I pay it forward to 4 special organizations for charity and I never write them off my taxes . I went back to church I actually found a Nazarene church in the U.K. Honestly Church is what keeps me semi sober in the clubs on Friday and Saturday. No hangovers in Gods house .So I have been busy. By maintaining the order of my life like I did way before when My soul purpose was being a MOM. God, Family Friends career is a new addition but not that high on the list.

I found a way to keep myself going .My heart has even healed to a point and I am actually making good friends with “ The Hiddleston “ I can't even comprehend The fact that Sophia took Tom's name . I didn't think her agent's would let her do that. Any how I Am officially Aunty Shannon to Charlie and he even still talks to Lucas and they talk cars regularly according to Tom. As for right now though I'm actually doing more than writing I am at The Harold Pinter theater in London as a Producer and assistant to Kenneth Branaugh the director of a play Based on one of my fan fiction stories . It's a Vampire Love story with a family twist. No Not Twilight no blood sucking fairies here. But what has me excited is the cast . Tom is in it along a whole bunch of my fave idol's Including Henry Cavill as the male lead. . OK! I fibbed Kenny doesn't need me the whole time so I am writing when I am not teaching Charlie Who is acting for the first time. Tom is One Proud Papa! I will tell you what. And Charlie Looks like he is having a wonderful time despite playing a Girl demon!

also I do have a little Mystery of my own I am trying to solve. Every morning when I get to work. Yes I'm getting paid for this production. I go to my seat and drink my coffee but I find a different colored long stem lily in the seat . I asked Tom. If Charlie was doing it and I even ask Ken. None said It was them. Both even offered to investigate with me . Saying they have a little experience because they played P.I.'s

I was actually flattered I had an admirer. I just hope I won't regret taking the Lily more seriously. Anyway The play is gearing up for opening night I called Lucas's aide Reed to Se if He will be able to be in London for my Play . Which If it does well it will head to the States and go on Broadway. Now tell me if that ain't totally awesome. I.K.R. We as far as my Book's are concerned Luca start's Middle School. So Social interaction and puberty mixes in with his amazing world which should make for a wild ride for our readers. My honorary nephew is even reading them which make's my heart sing Oh! So I don't leave it out my lily was Aquamarine and silk today not real but it had a pink bow and it sparkled . He-he! Who ever this is knows I like things that sparkle. It makes me giddy.

Opening Night!!!!

My Lucas is here . Looking Just Like he did Prom Night When he took my god daughter to the prom. My boy is So handsome. Lucas has been working out so My lucas is Tall and Jacked thanks to His Buddy Phillip Hull. We get to ride in a Limo It will be Lucas's first time in one. Me! I'm In all Red Long red hair with a touch of gray at the temple and proud of it. A Long Jessica rabbit dress that sparkles in the light. Red flat's I ain't that crazy . It's gonna be a long night and I am in my 50's Heels are not in the program. I had red cloves and a red silk Shaw. I felt amazing and all my boy could say is Wow mama Look Pretty! LOL! I am also excited not only for the play but according to the Little note I got with My Red Rose that was sitting in my seat on the last day of practice. I get to meet my admirer tonight too

So Lucas and I are off Lucas is Like a school boy Looking around and he is also a little nervous. I can tell he Keeps Playing with his collar and tie. I made sure Luke had a pair of ear buds and his fave music in a MP3. And sunglasses to help with Lucas's experience. Plus so he doesn't have to deal with the red carpet stuff Reed is here so Lucas will be with me only for a few pictures then Reed will take him inside while I deal with the popularity this sold out play has caused . New York here we come!!!!!!

Lucas went inside as planned. And Luke is by my side in his place as my escort. Luke felt I shouldn't be alone. Because of the split and Tom's marriage. Even though Tom and I are cool talking about and he is even here with Taylor so I'm cool. I was having lot's of fun taking little interview's and pictures and such. Luke always said I was surprisingly easy going in the lime light and it shows tonight. `Sophia , Ken and I had some fun with the photo people and Kissed Each side of Tom's cheeks while he was trying to pic up Kenneth, then we Bent down to Kiss Ken's cheeks when Tom dropped him on his butt ,our booties where purposely in the air. Let's Just say we made Kenny's night! I was all in good fun Tom told me that Charlie was inside with new Hot wheels car's to show Lucas cause they are NASCAR ones.

Finishing up the pictures and fixing to go inside I was about to give up hope on there being an admirer. When I went to take one last. Picture, Henry Cavill came to Join me in the picture and whispered in my ear to Look down, as he grabbed my waist for the picture . I did. And their was a pink Lily and a white rose in his hand tied in a pink bow. Let's Just say that pic had my mouth hanging open and Henry laughing as we went in to the theater. Let the new dance begin.

Lois Lane never Got Superman this way Ha!

Chapter 3

Don't jump! One moment @ a Time.

As far as the play went it was as major success. I couldn't pay attention at all . I was staring at Henry the whole time In awe of all of this.As far as I was concerned it was like I had never tasted this before . I won't lie, it scares the shit out of me . I was a ball of nerves the whole play . It was Thomas all over again. @ least that was what I thought. Until Henry asked if I would sign a book for is Nephews Daughter who has Down syndrome. I was politely surprised . He then introduced himself to my Son. Which Lucas can recognize any actor who has ever played a Superhero or villain . Henry was one of our faves. He asked if we wanted to grab a bite to eat . Lucas always could eat. Even in his 30's endless Belly! Can you see 3 adult's in fancy dress in Mc. Donald's. I Loved it Because Henry took the liberty to date Lucas first. To me that Mc. Donald's was 5 stars. The Limo dropped 2 very full and sleepy men at My son's Hotel. I was sparkling in happiness. We pulled up in front of my flat but Henry wouldn't let me out yet. I think he wants to talk . So naturally I listened.

fore I could even say anything He Quieted me and held my hand . Baby Blues connected. Then he spoke. “ Shannon I know what you went through with Hiddleston. I grilled him after meeting you . Actually I'm kinda surprised he didn't rat me out. Story for another time. Now that you understand my intent. I want time. Time to know you. Also before you get nervous, will it help If I got permission from Lucas to date you and Charlie Hiddleston second's the permission. I'm normally a prideful Man But Shannon something inside Tell's me I am supposed to started something new with You. I want get to know you Date you proper. If anything let's see where it goes. Even if we don't connect more personally . We can at least catch a grind to a tune and groove like buddies”.

My breath hitch because I just realize that dude I was grinding with in California at that club. The English Dude. That was Henry!!!!! He notices my blush and Shakes his head showing me the bracelet. I smack his shoulder Laughing my Blush off. Then I told him I am willing to try and if all else fails Partying in New York won't get boring . Then he kissed my Palm and let me out . I gave him my # and told him to give me a call when he was ready to try. The Limo waited till I was Inside. But instead of Leaving The door opened and Henry came running up to me . Grabbed my waist, pulled me close and Kissed me. We exploded!!!!

Hand in Hand at JFK airport Henry and I go straight to the Hotel . No Not for that . We came early so Henry could as he says Court me proper. LOL! There is nothing I'd rather do the then run all over NYC for the first time with Henry. I have jumped in fully no comparing to any other love . This is true Eros and I'm going with the flow. That was our agreement for each other the next morning after the Play. To Just Love & enjoy till the fluffy lady quits singing.

I exploded because of SuperMan!

{None of this story is real the pic are from Googles images !!!!!!!!!!!!}

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galadrieljones · 4 years

Text

The Lily Farm - Chapter 49

AO3 | Masterpost

Pairing: Arthur x Mary Beth

Rating: M (Mature) - sexual content, violence, and adult themes

Summary: After Sean’s death, Mary Beth asks Arthur to take her on a hunting trip, somewhere far away. What takes place at first is a simple love story: full of trials and journeys that they must endure together, as a team. But over time, things complicate. The gang is in trouble, and as Arthur and Mary Beth aim to set out on their own one day, they must find a way to help those they love while eventually, finding escape. Their ultimate goal is to go north with the Marstons, to find the bucolic stretches of Wisconsin where, rumor has it, there are lily farms. Will they make it? How will they survive when all hope seems lost? This is their story.

Chapter 49: The Trelawny Special (by moonlight)

The sense of isolation had been strong for Charlotte, for many weeks now. The house had felt cold and still, even with Arthur and Mary Beth. Her memory of Cal felt separate from anything real. How their time together had been something special, like a blessing from god, which changed her life, but it was not actually her life anymore, just somebody else’s life she had read about in a book once.

Now the house was full. Lanterns lit in every room, the sights and sounds of people. She never could have imagined that somehow, she would have ended up here. When they had returned, Mary Beth helped her draw a bath for John. He was messed up, thought Charlotte, scarred and malnourished, but he stood very tall. He seemed resilient, and young. She couldn’t tell if he and Arthur were brothers or just friends. But they seemed to share a kind of mutual, childhood warmth between them. Arthur was concerned about John’s health. It had been Arthur who suggested the bath.

After John was squared away, she and Mary Beth prepared dinner—venison and root vegetables. Arthur sat with Sadie at the kitchen table. They seemed to be leaders among men, and they very well understood each other. They were drinking whiskey tea out of delicate, porcelain cups with saucers. Sadie seemed to have no idea what the hell was going on, and she looked rightly awkward as she drank from such a dainty mug, but Charlotte still thought she was one of the prettiest women she’d ever met. Something almost stately about her, chiseled and full of pride.

The letter Arthur had received was written in some sort of gibberish outlaw code, which only Arthur seemed to understand:

Dearest Cousin Arthur,

It was so good to hear from you last you wrote. How are the rutabagas? I hope this finds you well. I am writing today because the Fathers have decided, upon careful consideration, to finally perform the Trelawny Special (by moonlight). Yes! It is time! Though, you won’t be needed. Please, instead, take your wife and depart for Cumberland Falls. Arrive on the twenty-first of November. Dress for colder weather.

On your fair journey, do stop in Valentine to read the news on our state of affairs. Don’t fear the towns. Do you remember the old man from New York? You know the one. Lives in the space between Exodus and Numbers. Anyway, you don’t have to worry about him, or his guard dogs. For once! While you move west, they’ll move south, dear boy. And all will be fine in the way of nature.

We hope to see you there. Some sooner than others, of course. Give your loving wife our kindest regards. For her bright beauty and intelligence have been greatly missed in these dank and swampy hours. The two of you will be a sight for sore eyes indeed.

Yours impeccably. Today, tomorrow, and forever.

Cousin Ned

“Well, Josiah wrote that, for sure,” said Mary Beth, smiling while she flipped a couple cuts of meet onto the pan in the kitchen. Charlotte was beside her making rolls. “That answers our question about whether he survived the riverboat.”

“Sure. But what the hell is the Trelawny Special?” said Sadie. “Arthur?”

Arthur sat up in his chair, leaned forward with his elbows on the table. He was studying the letter. “It’s what we used to call an elaborate distraction,” said Arthur. “In the old days. Make the law look left, then we go right.”

“Like a magic trick,” said Mary Beth.

“What kind of distraction we talking?” said Sadie.

“Something big,” said Arthur. “Loud. A bank robbery, something like that.”

“A bank robbery as a distraction?” said Sadie.

“Sometimes,” said Arthur. “If you rig it up like so. Might not be a real bank robbery. Might be staged.”

“Staged?”

“An illusion,” said Arthur. He lit a cigarette. “And all this stuff here, about the man from New York, living in the space between Exodus and Numbers? That’s referring to Leviticus Cornwall. Trelawny’s talking about Pinkertons.”

John came out a moment later. He was dressed in some of Arthur’s things, which hung off him a little. Even before the near-starvation, he was a fair bit smaller than Arthur. Mary Beth greeted him with a cup of tea, which he drank graciously. “What’s going on?” he said.

Arthur gave him the letter. John lit a cigarette as he read it, sitting down at the table. He had trimmed his beard down but it was still growing in pretty full and very dark. When he finished he said, “Jesus goddam Christ.” He flipped it over, set it face down as if to punctuate the moment. “Is this from Trelawny?”

“Think so,” said Arthur.

“What do you think it means?”

“I think they’re moving,” said Arthur. “The gang. I think Hosea is gonna orchestrate an elaborate and nocturnal bank robbery, cause a mass distraction in St. Denis, draw the Pinkertons south whilst we move west.”

“Why a bank robbery?” said John.

“Hosea has been talking about robbing the city bank in St. Denis ever since the party at the Mayor’s house. That’s got to be it. That’s what I think.”

“A Trelawny Special,” said John, smoking. “Christ. They must be in a goddam bind if they’re doing this now.”

“Why?” said Mary Beth.

“Because we ain’t there,” said John.

“They’re prepared to move without us,” said Sadie, finally catching all this meaning. “But they’re supposed to wait for me and John, to make a move. They must be in some sort of trouble.”

“Could be Pinkertons, local law, Sisika, anything,” said John. “We are goddam oversaturated on this side of the map.”

“Don’t jump to conclusions,” said Arthur. “This time of year, the rains will flood the marsh. Could be environmental. It don’t have to be law.”

“Either way,” said John. “They’re right, Arthur. Dividing is the only way to escape this time, and the only way to draw the Pinkerton’s eye with assurance is to cause a distraction, and to make sure they know it’s Dutch.”

“Which means drama,” said Mary Beth.

“There are already a bunch of Pinkertons in St. Denis, after the riverboat job,” said Arthur, smoking. “After the Mayor let loose his goddam mouth, they’re already there, with more on the way. This is a sacrifice, to give the gang time to escape.”

“What do we do, Arthur?” said Sadie.

“They want us to be in Cumberland Falls on the 21st,” said Arthur. “That’s less than two weeks out. My guess is, they’ll hit the bank within the next week.”

“Shit,” said John. He looked at Sadie. He looked scared. “We gotta get back. I ain’t letting Abbie and Jack out on that open road, all the way out to goddam Cumberland Falls without me.”

“I hear you,” said Sadie, studying the tip of the wooden stake. It looked completed. She set it down on the table. “We’ll leave first thing in the morning.”

“It’ll take days without horses,” said John. “The snow is good for slowing down the law, but we risk freezing, or worse.”

“Well, that’s the prize, Marston,” she said. “Next time don’t get yourself caught.”

He squeezed his eyes shut. He was punishing himself. “I ain’t seen her in—shit. It’s been such a goddam long time. I don't remember what it means to be a goddam man.”

“It’s okay,” said Arthur. “It’s gonna be okay. You’re gonna make it.”

That is when Charlotte spoke up. She had been quiet for a while. She was standing in the kitchen, holding a tray full of unbaked rolls. She had been listening quietly. “Abbie and Jack,” she said. “Who are they?”

“That’s John’s wife, and their boy,” said Mary Beth.

“You have a family?” said Charlotte.

“Yeah,” said John. He was shaking his head now, looking down at his wretched, bruised hands.

Charlotte bent down to place the rolls in the kiln. She closed the door, and then she wiped her hands off on her apron. She said, “You can take my horses. There are two of them. That should help, right?”

Sadie was looking at her, her hair down around her cheeks, ratty from the wind and the snow. “Are you sure?”

“Yes, of course. I wouldn’t have offered if I weren’t sure.”

“Charlotte,” said Arthur. He looked upon her with concern. She was getting too involved. “You don’t have to do this. You’ve already done enough. And you need a horse to survive out here.”

“It’s okay,” said Charlotte. “I can afford to buy another horse when the time is right. But I just—I don’t need them anymore. Those are…old horses. I mean, they’re not old. They’re just from the past. They’re perfectly bred and handle well, both Dutch Warmbloods. Fillies, less than two years old. I don’t mind being rid of them.”

“Thank you,” said John. “Charlotte, thank you. For everything. I’ll pay you back.”

“You’re welcome,” she said, smiling. “And please. You owe me nothing.”

Arthur got up from the table, right away. He took the tea pot off the stove to refill his cup and John’s. As he passed Charlotte, she smiled. He looked at her, didn’t really know what to think. He said, “I’ll break you one. This week. I will.”

“Break me one what?” said Charlotte.

“A new filly,” he said. “A good girl, right from up in these hills.”

“Are there wild horses, in the Roanoke Valley?”

“Yes, ma’am,” said Arthur. He poured his tea, then John’s, then Sadie’s. “Real beauties, if you know where to look. I do. You won’t regret it.”

“Of course I won’t,” said Charlotte. She felt like she was living in a dream inside of a dream. It had used to be a nightmare, but now it was merely bizarre, the sights and sounds bright but muffled in the plasma of her subconscious. She was experiencing everything from the other side of a screen door. But it was okay. It was new. It was better than nothing.

After dinner, John and Sadie stayed out to help Charlotte clean up in the kitchen. She tried to discourage them but they insisted. Charlotte had put music on the gramophone, which livened up the atmosphere and made it feel like a whole different house. Everybody was a little warm in the chest from the booze that night.

Arthur and Mary Beth went back to their room meanwhile where they undressed in a kind of a rush to seize the moment. They had not had many chances, with the house so quiet and the world so sad from Charlotte’s terrible loss. But something about the day spent out of doors in the snow, meeting John and Sadie, and the letter from Josiah—it was like a slap across the face. It had hastened the pace and tipped the hourglass, and now there was laughter in the kitchen, and Arthur and Mary Beth were making love in the bed. When they finished, they leaned against the pillows, finishing their tea, and Mary Beth was reading a book in her nightgown and eating some of the chocolate Charlotte had bought for her so sweetly at the store that day. Arthur was trying to write in his journal, but he felt too close to the brink of his thoughts, like they needed to steep for a while longer. So he sketched instead, finished an old one of Mary Beth swimming and then started a new one, trying to capture John in his destitute physical state from all that had taken place at the penitentiary. It was rough going, but John was more or less the toughest asshole he had ever met. He had survived a near-hanging when he was twelve and a pack of wolves when he was twenty-six, and he’d survive this, too. Arthur hadn’t taken much time to think about it purely, but he did feel they had come closer to being brothers again, those days.

“I’m worried about Charlotte,” said Mary Beth, out of nowhere. She had placed her book on the windowsill and looked wistful. “She won’t survive here by herself. It’s only the beginning of winter. She’s come a long way, but it ain’t a good idea, Arthur. Leaving her here alone.”

“If it’s what she wants,” said Arthur, “we can’t interfere.”

“I know,” she said. “But maybe—maybe we could take her with us. We rescued Sadie, after her husband died.”

“Yeah,” said Arthur. He took a deep breath, closed his journal. “We did. Only Sadie, she was living rough even before all this. Charlotte—she’s as dainty as they come. You think she’d be able to handle life as an outlaw?”

“Maybe,” said Mary Beth. “Or, we could just take her with us up to Wisconsin, where we don’t plan to be outlaws no more. Or maybe we could convince her to go back to Philadelphia.”

“We’ll always be outlaws,” said Arthur. “One way, or another. Even when we’re living straight, we’ll have to lie. But why don’t you talk to her. See what she wants. We still got a little time before we have to be on the road.”

“I will,” said Mary Beth, reassured. “First thing in the morning.” She smoothed both her hands over his long, yellow hair. She kissed his eyes and his nose and his mouth. She said, “I love you.”

His eyes were blue, and his skin was rough. “I love you, too, pretty girl.”

When John went to bed, Sadie stayed up. She was a night owl. She liked to read in the evenings, or to practice throwing her knives. Staying up late was the only time that rendered her completely alone. The weather had whipped up into a full blown blizzard outside. She was banking on it subsiding by morning, but what did she know. She was interested in Charlotte. Charlotte was a stranger, seemed fancy, and yet, she was helping. Arthur and Mary Beth seemed to bring many allies with them. Wherever they went, they made friends in high places. Sadie knew it had to be Mary Beth. Arthur, cute as he was, and extremely effective in a bind, was dumbfounded by people in ways she had seen. He had good intentions, and he was a damn fine gunslinger, but he was not as quick with his tongue as he was with his heart. He usually ended up scaring people, or coming off aloof. For a while, he seemed headed for the deep end anyway. Like he was prone to depressed moods. She had been waiting for him to off Dutch for months, any goddam day before he finally knocked up Mary Beth and they got married. It was good for him, responsibility, goals. He was a man who needed a mission. Mary Beth, meanwhile, she was as charming as they came, like any good conwoman had to be, only with her, it seemed predicated on something genuine. Sadie had used to underestimate her, thought her just along for the ride, but she knew now that was bullshit. Mary Beth was young and pretty, but it was more than that. Sadie had been a wife and understood the stakes of loving a man. Mary Beth fulfilled the role with abandon.

After the cleaning was finished, Charlotte and Sadie were sitting in the living room, still listening to the music on the gramophone. Charlotte was embroidering a beautiful pattern upon a set of white curtains while Sadie read a book she found on the shelf by the window. It was filled with the journalism of Edgar Allan Poe, most of which Sadie deemed as frivolous. But it was something to do. After a time, she closed the book and could no longer stay quiet. She looked at the fire. “Charlotte,” she said.

“Yes,” said Charlotte. She did not look up from her work.

“I noticed you’re wearing a wedding ring,” she said, holding tightly to her own. “But your husband, he ain’t here.” Sadie looked at her, sadly. “Is he dead?”

Charlotte stopped what she was doing. She set down the curtains and the needle and thread in her lap and folded her hands on top of it. She looked down at her thumbs as if she had forgotten, up until now. “Yes.”

“How’d he die,” said Sadie, direct, unflinching.

“He was mauled by a bear,” said Charlotte.

“Mauled by a bear?” said Sadie. “Jesus. I’m sorry.”

“Thank you,” said Charlotte. “But it’s all right. I’m all right.”

“That’s why Arthur and Mary Beth are here,” said Sadie. “Helping you get back on your feet?”

“They stumbled upon me one day, weeping at Cal’s grave. They stayed. They’ve been here for almost a month.”

Sadie gazed at her, feeling crushed. She said, “They’re good at that, ain’t they?”

“What do you mean?”

“My husband died, not a year back,” said Sadie. “Killed by the scum of the earth. Turns out he’d borrowed money from a gang of outlaws, never told me. A couple of days after they killed him, they came back, for me. But Arthur was there, too. Killed them, helped me. Him and his gang took me in.”

Charlotte’s eyes were very large and wide open. She had frozen. “That’s…horrible,” she said. “About your husband. I’m so sorry.”

“It weren’t no bear,” said Sadie, “but yeah, it weren’t good neither.”

“So you just…you travel with them now? And their gang?”

“That’s right,” said Sadie. She took her gun from her holster, started shining it up with a blue handkerchief. “I had nothing left, and they offered me a second chance, which I took. Now, I don’t know what I am, but I ain’t alone. And that’s all I need.”

She felt Charlotte, watching, as she polished the gun. She became aware, suddenly, that this might not have been very ladylike, and therefore intimidating. She put the gun away. “You gonna come with us?” she said, tilting her head to try and take in the whole picture. “To Cumberland Falls?”

“You mean, back to your gang?”

“Yep.”

“Oh,” said Charlotte. She demurred. “I—I don’t know.”

“You should,” said Sadie, very serious. “You shouldn’t stay here by yourself, Charlotte. Nothing good can come of it, believe me. Stick with them. They’ll protect you. It’s what they did for me. I don’t like to think what would have become of me if Arthur had not…stumbled upon me that night. It took a long time, but I have come to find my reckoning now. The world took Jake, and I took a lot more from the world. It weren’t pretty, but it had to be done. Now, me and the world, we’re squre again. Or, mostly. But it’s enough so I can finally start over. You get what I mean?”

Outside, the wind and the snow were rustling through the trees. The wind was blowing down the chimney, whistling. The song played on the gramophone, something by Bach. “I think I do,” said Charlotte. She said she would sleep on it, but just like them all, except for John who was outright exhausted and had not slept in a proper bed for months, the storm kept them up for some time.

#red dead redemption 2 #arthur morgan #rdr2 #arthur x mary beth #an update!#thank you for your patience #<3 #the lily farm

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unofficialkfamtranscripts · 4 years

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King Falls AM - Episode 9: Jack in the Box Jesus

View on Google Docs

Summary: September 1, 2015 - An alleged sighting of the Lord & Savior at a downtown fast food restaurant has the residents of King Falls ready for deliverance, meanwhile Sammy & Ben try to navigate the flood waters of this revelation.

[podcast intro music]

Mayor Grisham Ladies and gentlemen, I promise you that while it is a terrible inconvenience that our modern electronics are out— this is not the end of the world. It could be a refreshing change of pace! Instead of reading, on your tablet, go down to the King Falls library, and check out the real thing! Instead of texting your BFF, go enjoy some pancake puppies at Rose’s! and have a face-to-face chat. This isn’t as bad as it seems— and it could be a blessing in disguise.

[KFAM intro music]

Sammy Good morning guys and dolls, you’re listening to King Falls AM—

Ben —That’s 660 on the radio dial.

Sammy And this is day 13 of what has been dubbed the King Falls Electrolocaust.

Ben This has easily been the hardest two weeks of my professional career.

Sammy It has been tough, but Ben and I want to thank you, and everyone out there listening, for the continuing support of the show.

Ben We got another doozy of a show for you tonight, King Falls. During hour two, we’ll be interviewing Maria Chandler, manager of the King Falls Apple store, and speaking about the effects the shut down has had on business.

Sammy As well as fielding your calls and talking about whatever’s clever this evening.

Ben I miss computers, Sammy. I miss the schedule. Our automated systems, my alarm clock. I’ve went through three the legal pads in two weeks!

Sammy [sympathetic] I know, buddy.

Ben I would literally watch Channel 13 if given the chance.

Sammy Wow. That’s saying a lot.

Ben [softly] I need my life back.

Sammy King Falls, how are you taking the modern electronic shut down of 2015? Are you refreshed? Reliving the mid-90s? Or— are you falling apart like our dear Ben Arnold?

Ben I’d listen to boy bands, to have a working smartphone. I’d wear, puka shell necklaces and sell my pog collection,[1] if you give me five minutes with my email.

Sammy Look on the bright side, Ben. You’re spending all your free time down at the library, and I haven’t called you out on it!

Ben That’s calling me out on it.

Sammy Eh-Well- and you know it’s nice hearing the birds tweeting instead of @kingfallsam. I’m not saying I don’t miss it but, I’m enjoying this a little bit.

Ben ♫It’s tearing up my heart when I’m with yoouu♫[2]

Sammy The references are not gonna bring back your goods.

Ben [hurt] Dammit Sammy, let’s just take a call from our jury-rigged phone system.

[bg music being provided by Chet’s record player]

Sammy You’re live with Sammy and Ben.

Cynthia Yeeaah, I wanna talk about the outages.

Sammy Cynthia Higgenbaum, ladies and gents. How are you doing during this electronic crisis?

Cynthia [blissful] I feel the warm embrace of the chastity belt that’s been placed on society. I’m relieved, de-stressed, marvelous!

Ben *chuckling* Whoa, heh, that’s- that’s a heck of a change!

Cynthia [suddenly aggressive] What are you trying to say, Ben?

Sammy It’s just you’re usually- you’ve been a little… pessimistic in the past.

Cynthia [mostly calm again] Ohhh, I still have problems; I’m full up with issues. But right now, I don’t have to worry about what websites my husband is perusing, what brain-dead TV my kids are watching— I’m at peace! It’s just me and my harlequin novels. Plus, with Jesus back and all—

Ben [jokingly suggestive] 50 Shades of Cynthia

Cynthia [angrily] Don’t be filthy Ben Arnold! I Know Your Mother!

Sammy I-I’m sorry, Cynthia— did you just say that Jesus is back?

Cynthia [gossipy tone] Have you guys not heard the news?

Ben Is she talking about Jesus Jesus?

Cynthia There’s only one.

Sammy Wellll, I think Mexico would disagree, but please tell us why you think Jesus—

Cynthia [snappy] I don’t think Sammy, I know! [softer] Earlier this evening, he was spotted glowing and speaking in tongues at Jack in the Box.[3]

Ben The one off Main Street or Red Oak Avenue?

Cynthia Ew, nobody does to Red Oak.

Sammy [softly] Jack-in-the-Box-Jesus.

Cynthia Oh, Hell no! I will not participate in that blasphemy. You’re gonna get smited—

Sammy Oh, I- I mean- I wasn’t- I’m sorry, I’m not meaning to, uh—

Cynthia Tell it to Satan! In Hell, Sammy! [hangs up forcefully]

[dial tone]

Ben This is big.

Sammy [slightly reluctant] If you or someone you know has had a sighting of *clears throat, Ben laughs* Jack in the Box Jesus please give us a call. Uh, 424-279-3858

Ben You’re on King Falls AM.

Deputy Troy Now I know what you’re thinking: how could the second coming of God’s only son happen and ol’ Troy here didn’t clue you in.

Ben Not what I was thinking.

Sammy What do you know Troy?

Deputy Troy Well I got a suspicious persons call out at ol’ Yack[sic] in the Box around 9. So, I hit the lights and cruised over to see what the fuss was about. And lo and behold, back by the dumpster with a mess of people looking on— there he was.

Sammy Now, are you really telling us that— [still reluctant] you saw, or, you believe you saw the son of God and the King of Kings bangin around outside the Jack In The Box?

Deputy Troy Well, he was a man. Somebody’s son, no doubt. Bearded. Good lookin’, if-if you’re into that sort of thing. He had a robe on—

Ben [cutting in]We can solve this right now. Was he white or was he black?

Deputy Troy He was more of a greenish color. Like a glow really.

Sammy The man had an aura around him.

Deputy Troy It was shinier than a damn Fukushima foxhound, fellas. Like, I felt a need to put on the old aviators, but I- I didn’t want to be cliché.

Sammy Alright, Troy. So, work with us here; you’re in the back of the Jack in the Box, there’s a uh, a Jesus-type guy—

Deputy Troy Just-a-ramblin’ on.

Ben Speaking in— tongues?

Deputy Troy Speaking in somethin. The last time I heard gibberish like that was comin’ from the back of my Chevy with Shell Snyder’s daughter.

Sammy So what happened next?

Deputy Troy Well a group of looky-loos had descended, as I said, and since it was only me, there was no perimeter set up yet. So I start ta approach this glowing Christ and somebody— Roy Higgins if you gotta know/— hollered out “It’s Jesus!” and the whole parking lot just went bonkers!

Ben Well, di-did you speak to the guy?

Deputy Troy Damn skippy. I told Roy that this was official police biz. And he shouldn’t be squawling around like a little baby.

Ben No, Jack in the Box Jesus.

Deputy Troy Oh, well no. I- I turned around and he was gone. Split right off into the woods, I suspect.

Sammy Did you follow him?

Deputy Troy Sammy. So you’re tellin me that you’d follow a 6-foot-tall and glowing perp into the woods??

Sammy [muttered] Point taken.

Ben So any other sightings?

Deputy Troy Well, not as of yet. But there were so many people they could’a had a revival in that parkin’ lot. So I’m guessin’ that’s how word spread so quickly. And without internet, too? That’s pretty damn impressive.

Sammy Is there an APB out or anything?

Deputy Troy For what, dilly-dallying around with a jumbo jack? He wasn’t doin nothin bad. Just acting a fool— Lord forgive me— where he shouldn’t’a been.

Ben And glowing.

Deputy Troy That’s right.

Sammy Well, please let us know if get any more info on this, Troy. We’d appreciate it.

Deputy Troy You bet. I’ll be sure to keep you boys and the listenin’ public informed. But if you should happen to stumble upon Jesus? Do not approach, bother or pester. You just call up Ol’ Deputy Troy.

[hangs up]

Ben …or your local church. [dial tone]

Sammy Deputy Troy, ladies and gents. Now we’re just going to take a quick break and hear from one of our new sponsors: Carl’s Candy!

Ben Yeah I don- I don’t think we should play this

Sammy What? Ads pay the bills remember?

Ben Folks, as a workaround with all the tech issues, uh, I went out and recorded a few spots of some of our sponsors- uh, new and old. Emphasis on Old, after this one.

Sammy Okay, so the audio is bad.

Ben *sucks in breath* You could say that.

Sammy This company’s paid up! They’re scheduled in one of your many notebooks. Let’s do this. We’ll be right back folks.

[slow, creepy xylophone music]

Carl [voice is soft and creepy, like you expect from a guy who offers kids candy from the back of a van] Do you know why they call it a blow pop? I sure do. And if you come on down to Creepy Carl’s Candy, I’ll fill ya up! I mean in. [whispering] It’ll be our little secret.- A sweet tooth is a terrible thing to waste. Come find a new sugar daddy to butter your fingers at Creepy Carl’s! Come in and grab a sack of Carl’s Boston baked beans while you’re at it. Oops, one fell in my pocket. Free if you can find it! *Ben groaning “oh no”* Every child’s welcome at Creepy Carl’s, big mouths, small mouths, white mouths and brown mouths. We’re equal opportunity! And just cause they shut down the ol’ brick and mortar doe’n’t mean you can’t buy it from my van. Be sure to ask your parents’ permission first, kids. Creepy Carl’s Candy, where the suckers don’t suck themselves. [Police sirens]

Deputy Troy [through megaphone] Carl, turn off your ignition. You are too close to the school zone.

Carl I gotta go! Catch ya later [tires squealing]

Ben [desperate, in bg] The mic!

[sirens fade out]

Sammy … Never again.

Ben I tried to tell you.

Sammy I know. Let’s never speak about this.

Ben [whispering] I need a shower.

Sammy *sigh* …Moving forward, we were just talking about a sighting that happened a few hours ago around the 9 o’clock hour, just off Main Street. It seems quite a few people believe that we may be experiencing a religious phenomenon. Perhaps the second coming of–

Ben [slightly gruff impression] “Don’t call it a comeback, I’ve been here for years!”[4]

Sammy *chuckles* Right, let’s go to the phone lines.

Ben [happily] That was good though right?

Sammy It was good. Good evening, you’re live on King Falls AM.

Reverend Hawthorne Ask and ye shall receive! King Falls-uh. It is the gooD Reverend Xavier “Right. With. Gaawwd-uh” Hawthorne.

Ben Reverend Hawthorne? Are you back in town?

Reverend Hawthorne [speaking over Ben] The One and Only, and we are turnin’ the wagons arounD as we speaK-uh. And we’re headin’ back to my flocK-uh. How’re y’all feelin’ tonighT, King Falls- I said How are you, Feelin’!

Sammy [softly] We’re feeling alright.

Reverend Hawthorne Praise GoD-uh! Hallelujah! Now a little birdie, uh-just chirp’n on my shoulder, told me there was a SighTing. A Vision. Dare I say it, eyeballs were laid on our Lord and Saviour at a burger joint in our fair city.

Sammy Yeah, about 9 o’clock here.

Reverend Hawthorne Could it Be-uh! that our 5-week-revival worked. Could it Be-uh! that our prayers have been brought forth the lamb of God-uh. Can I get an amen!

Ben Reverend Hawthorne we—

Reverend Hawthorne Amen! This miracle-uh, this sight from our God-uh, perched on a Mountain of Sanctity, says that he is ready to lead-uh, his most Highly Favored, Congregation bacK to the promised land. Gimme some organ, Deacon Reggie [organ music begins playing in bg]

Sammy [aside] Do you think Reggie has to wheel that thing around just in case?

Ben This is getting good.

Reverend Hawthorne Play it dirty, brother. We are going Home-uh. Take us back to Calvary, take us BACK-uh! … Samuel, Benjamin may I ask you gentlemen if you have a relationship-uh with the Author of the E-ternal Sal-vation; [organ goes silent] [softly] are ya saved?

Sammy I’m—

Reverend Hawthorne Then let me tell y’all, [organ starts again] because if you aren’t-uh, I’m coming back to town. One weekend only, the Xavier “Right with GoD-uh” Hawthorne Experience will be wheelin’ bacK into King Falls Fairgrounds this very night-uh. We are hoping to get One- On- One with the Risen Christ and start preparin’ for Kingdom Come. But just like old Xavier, you gotta come on down-uh so we can get you TurnT uP With GoD-uh. [click, dial tone]

Sammy Xavier? Hello?

Ben He’s, gone. Sammy.

Sammy Well, you heard it here first folks. Xavier Hawthorn’s Travelling Roadshow is coming back to town. Will Jack in the Box Jesus make his stage debut?

Ben [muttering] Tch- Jesus.

Sammy Literally.

Ben Do you think we could get an interview? Would it be Mr. Christ? Or-

Sammy Something tells me that there is something more to the story than what we’ve heard so far, Ben.

Ben Tsk. I get that, but this is King Falls, Sammy.

Sammy What a perfect place to make a return: a rinky-dink town with no internet.

Ben Line- [muttered] dammit, there’s only one line. Uh, you’re on with Sammy and Ben.

Archie Good evenin’ fellas!

[small dogs barking in bg]

Sammy Is thi-

Archie It’s Archie Simmons!

Ben He-ey Archie, how’s Princess Von Barktooth?

Archie Well, I do have news concernin’ the princess, and I just want to possibly recant some info from our previous call a few weeks back.

Sammy About the werewolves?

Archie Correct.

Sammy Wow. I mean, you sounded pretty convinced that you saw a werewolf.

Archie And now I’m saying that maybe I was misinformed.

Sammy I think you should probably tell Troy and the Sheriff’s Office, Archie.

Archie *giggles* You silly Sally, Troy’s on his way over now

Ben Why the change of heart, Archie?

Archie Well, new information has come to light boys, I mean with the Divine One making his triumphant, and let’s be honest, dramatic return to King Falls.

Sammy You’re talking about the glowing man at the Jack in the Box?

Archie [softly] Let’s be real here, it’s the J-Man, of course a heavenly carpenter would pick King Falls. So many projects to keep busy with.

Sammy [dryly] Uh-huh.

Archie Plus, with the princess and this new information, we have to believe this.

Ben You keep saying that, what’s going on with the princess Archie?

Archie She’s in a delicate condition.

Sammy Oh, of course. I mean she’s been through a lot.

Archie *giggles* No Sammy, I mean she’s with child. Ch-children. Puppies? There’s a bun in my $2400 oven boys!

Sammy Wait. She’s pregnant? From the werewolf attack?!

Archie [softly again] Well, that’s the thing. While I believed in my heart of hearts that the hillbilly beast from the trailer park had gotten to the princess, I think…

Ben What. What do you think Archie?

Archie I mean it was dark, I know it was a full moon but I was scared and recently awakened, sleep in my eyes etc. and so on.

Sammy You don’t think it was the werewolves.

Archie I’m thinking with this new evidence and the fact that I saw a long-haired, bearded man in a Biblical Act— Yeah I-I- I think- there’s a chance it could have been [whispering] the man upstairs.

Ben [stern] Upstairs from whom?

Archie Mankind! Come on Ben, get with the picture!

Sammy He’s saying that because there’s been a holy sighting tonight- which we should all be a little bit doubtful of- then maybe it wasn’t the werewolves, but the Alpha and the Omega.

Ben No! NO WA- That’s too much, Archie. You saw the werewolf. He looked you in the eye and howled at the moon.

Archie I don’t know what kind of weird things Jesus is into.

Ben No way. This is ludicrous.

Archie You just wait and see Ben! The princess may have lost her Westminster dreams, but it was all part of God’s plan.

Ben We’ve got to go Archie *laughs* you’re crossing a line that we cannot cross at King Falls AM.

Archie Judge Not, lest ye be judged boys. Kardashians[sic] 3:16 or a Psalm or something. I think Troy’s coming around the bend anyways boys, laters!

[click, dial tone]

Sammy You know? When I walk in the door every night I say to myself, “Nothing’s gonna surprise me tonight” And more times than not, I am just Dead Wrong.

Ben Let’s give the phone a rest for a moment, Sammy, the record player is just begging to be used.

Sammy *chuckles* Not a bad idea Ben.

[phone pings]

Ben What? *gasps* My phone! [several pings] OHH it’s back baby!

Sammy Me too! What’s going on?

[pinging continues]

Ben What’s up! Oh my God, I could literally kiss the apparition of Steve Jobs.

Sammy Hey, I’ve got a text here, Unknown Number.

Ben Okay, what does it say?

Sammy “I- I know why this happened. I know how to stop it. We need to talk“

Ben What?

Sammy No, that’s what the text said.

Ben You don’t think this has anything to do with… Thank You, Jesus.

[KFAM outro]

[CREDITS]

References:

[1] Pogs - Pogs, generically called milk caps, is a game that was popular among children during the early-mid 1990s. The name pog originates from POG, a brand of juice made from passionfruit, orange, and guava; the use of POG bottle caps to play the game preceded the game's commercialization.

[2] “It’s tearin’ up my heart when I’m with you” - Lyrics to the song “Tearin’ Up My Heart” by NSYNC, an American boy band from the mid-90s

[3] Jack in the Box - American fast food chain, primarily along the west coast and southern states.

[4] “Don’t call it a comeback, I’ve been here for years” - lyrics to the song “Mama Said Don’t Knock You Out” by LL COOL J (also came out in the 90s)

#king falls am #king falls #kfam #sammy stevens #ben arnold #kfam transcripts #kfam ep9 #cynthia higgenbaum #mayor grisham #troy krieghauser #archie simmons #jack in the box jesus #reverend hawthorne

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indestinatus · 4 years

Text

Something Blue (part 3/15)

Please read it in AO3, this fic has soundtracks.

Summary: Now that Ziva is safe and can return to her family… Tony doesn’t waste any time. She’ll need to have something blue to go along with a white wedding gown.

“Dad, Dad, can I go by the window?”

“But I also want to go by the window…”

Johnny raced to his place, jumping on the seat with a loud ‘thump’, casting a knowing smile to his sister, blue eyes mischievous. He stuck out his tongue and looked to the window. He had won the fight this time, just as usual when it involved physical advantage. He was faster than his sister, but when it came to vocabulary and expressing oneself, she was almost scary for a three years old.

“But Dad,” said Morgan, pulling her father’s shirt down, watery eyes revealing either the hurt she felt or the plan to win his heart over, “I want to see the ground.”

She stopped where she stood, planting her feet on the ground and looking up to her dad with big puzzling eyes. People started to complain down the line why they all had to stop, grunting and asking what was going on. “It’s a child,” one of them said, as if this was reason enough to understand the delay. A flight attendee asked them to please move forward quickly and to not obstruct the way.

“Well, Morgan, we will be up in the air, so the ground will be very far below,” said McGee, raising her daughter to his arms as tears started to trace her cheeks, which made onlookers stare longer at the scene, “besides, the middle seat… means you can… hmmm…”

“You can stand closer to your mum and she’ll give you more snacks,” stated Delilah assuringly, eyebrows raised to McGee in a questioning look.

“Yes, yes, more snacks,” he said smiling to his wife, muttering a soundless ‘thank you’ as Morgan started to babble to her brother about her win.

McGee buckled up the seatbelts of the twins and sighed, thinking all was settled. A moment later, John was pulling the window cover up and down loudly and he had to interfere, asking him to leave it alone or else he’ll break it. “And what will we do if you break a window of a plane, John?” he added.

He sank in his seat by the aisle, opposite to Delilah who was now shamelessly laughing at his own struggles.

“Gosh, do you think these two will be able to pull this off?” asked Breena, hair in a ponytail and sunglasses on her head, “when Jimmy told me the guys would take care of the children on this trip and the women were obliged to relax, I just burst out laughing.”

“You know, I have no idea,” answered Delilah with a big grin, eyes twinkling with the thought, “but at this point, I really don’t care.”

“Oh, calm down, you ladies,” added Palmer with a smile, “Victoria here told me,” he gestured to his daughter who was holding his hand, “that it was Tali’s idea…”

“Mermaids and then a princess makeover!” exclaimed Victoria, her pigtails swinging as she jumped excitedly.

“And Tony assured me the island had a bunch of activities for kids,” said Jimmy looking at her.

He was carrying not one, but two backpacks, one at his front and one in his back, along with tour group leader flag which read “NCIS scouts” and a yellow whistle around his neck.

“Yeah, good luck with that,” said Breena with a playful smile as she put her travel pillow around her neck and her sunglasses down, already going to sleep even though the boarding was still on.

“No, no, I’m not scared of planes,” Torres told Bishop as he put her suitcase on the compartment above her seat, “it’s just… they’re creepy, okay? If you think about it, it’s hundreds of people and tons of luggage just suspended in the air, I mean, just floating around with nothing holding it. Clouds? They’re not solid, man.”

“What are you talking about, Nick?” asked Ellie, visibly laughing at him, “It’s a flight. One flight. How many millions of flights there are in a day?”

He sat down at the middle seat, taking out the safety card and flipping it back and forth, quickly putting it back where he found it with a stern face.

“If the oxygen masks fall,” Nick declared as she sat down at the aisle seat, “don’t expect me to help the one sitting next to me, Eleanor Bishop.”

“Noted,” Ellie responded with a laugh, “so why don’t we… talk to ease your nerves for the time being?”

He looked at her with narrowing eyes, pondering if she was joking or laughing at him, but nodded all the same.

“Okay. What do you want to talk about?”

Ellie faced him uncertainly, her eyes darting from the seat in front of her to the people passing by to get to their places. She coughed lightly and started to fidget with her hands. Nick glanced at them, noticing the gesture, but quickly raised his eyes to her face again, making sure he didn’t make her more uncomfortable.

“So did you… did you have the chance to ask that girl you’re seeing… at the gym… as-your-plus-one?” the words came out briskly as if she suddenly had to catch her breath.

Ellie lifted her head when she noticed Nick didn’t answer right away. He was already staring at her, chest going up and down as he breathed with difficulty.

“No,” Nick blurted, “No, I didn’t have the chance… you know, work.”

Ellie nodded with a puzzled look. She wasn’t certain what work had to do with any of it, they were going on vacation for the next few days.

“And you-”

“No, I gave up,” she interrupted, shaking her head, “this party is for Tony and Ziva, not for matchmaking. Besides, I don’t have the energy right now for that kind of stuff.”

“Hmmm,” Nick said, eyebrows furrowing, “let’s make a deal, then,” he sighed.

“What kind of deal?”

“We can be the each other’s plus-one,” he told her carefully, the words coming out slowly, “and then no one will bother you.”

“Hmmm,” Ellie answered, not noticing she had just mimicked him from moments ago, “Okay. Deal.”

They shook hands, looking into each other’s eyes for a second too long. They withdrew quickly.

“As soon as all your admirers lay eyes on my toned body at a greek crystal blue beach,” Nick said as he flexed his muscles, “they’re gonna run to the mainland.”

Ellie huffed a laugh as redness started to grow from her neck to her cheeks and her ears started to feel warm.

“Eleanor Bishop, is that you?” a voice came from the seat at the other side of the aisle.

It belonged to a man in his mid-thirties, bright blue eyes, short spiky brown hair. Broadly built. Took out all the space of his chair, legs tightened by the chair in front of him. Handsome. Really handsome.

“Phew,” she said, now the color of beetroot, “do I know you…?”

“I’m Richard,” he said, stretching his hand to shake hers, “Richard Wayne, from high school? We used to study together.”

“RICHARD WAYNE, OH MY GOD,” Ellie shook his hand vigorously, “wow, you’ve changed.”

“And you didn’t. Not a thing,” he cast a dazzling smile her way “I’m here for a wedding.”

“You are? How convenient-”

“Hey, Bishop, hey,” Torres started to punch her forearm, trying to get a better look at the stranger, but she kept moving in front of him to block his view.

“-Tony and Ziva’s wedding?”

“Yeah, in fact,” Richard answered with a puzzled look as he tried to understand what Nick was trying to do, “I used to help Tony when he needed something back from Baltimore PD. I’m a cop now, he taught me all I know when I was younger…” Nick continued trying to push Ellie away repeatedly, “you going to the wedding as well? Wow, that’s a coincidence. Bride or groom?”

“Both- HEY!”

Nick managed to push the button that declined her chair, and now that Ellie was almost at a 180-degree angle, he stretched himself on top of her to hold his hand for the stranger.

“Nick Torres, her plus-one,” he said with his chin up, chest inflated, “and yeah, both. Both bride AND groom. WE are close friends to them.”

“Oh, I see,” the man huffed a laugh, raising his eyebrows as he looked at Ellie, “well, nice to see you, Eleanor.”

“You too,” she blurted out as she raised her chair to the normal angle.

“I hope I see you at the ceremony.”

“Yeah yeah, have a nice flight,” Nick said loudly, his tone muffling whatever Ellie had said. She punched his shoulder but he didn’t even flinch, just looked at her with a scowl.

“Too late for that, Bishop. A deal is a deal.”

“Humpf.”

“Are you going to help the guys with the kids as well, Gibbs?” asked Jack Sloane to the man sitting next to her while she browsed a fashion magazine.

Gibbs straightened up in his chair, opening one of his eyes to look at her with a grin.

“They’re all kids to me,” he replied.

°°°

“You look a bit worn out in this picture. Hair sticking out to every direction, dark circles under your eyes…”

Seagulls sang their summer melody over his head, flying from the cliffs to the wooden stakes which held the pier bridge. The crystal water reflected the sky perfectly, the rays of sunshine scattered through the light waves. The air smelled of saltwater and orange juice, with a faint touch of dried fish. Children ran at the pier with kites on their hands, feet making the wood tremble with their movement. Colors were splashed on every surface, from light blue to bright yellow and shiny pink, in clothes hanged in small shops and the various drinks at the hands of tourists and villagers.

The sun warmed his skin but the wind made it pleasant.

“What do you mean by worn out, bro?” asked Nick to customs officer sitting in the booth by the pier with his passport in hand.

The man lifted his head and his scowl deepened. He was bald and had tanned skin, a beard with flakes of white framing his face.

“Hmmm… it appears you’re worn out in real life too,” he declared as he pressed a stamp in Nick’s passport loudly, dark eyes staring at him inquisitively.

“Wait, what the-”

“NEEEXT.”

“Good morning,” said Jack happily, putting her passport on the booth’s counter.

The man looked at the document and then back at her. One, two, three times.

“Is everything alright?” she asked with an eyebrow raised.

“You cut your hair.”

“Yeah…” answered Sloane as she touched the ends of her hair lightly, “it’s easier to maintain now.”

The man scowled and then shrugged, handing her passport back with a new stamp on it, “I prefer it shorter.”

“Oh, thank-”

“NEEEXT.”

Gibbs approached the booth and took out his sunglasses, handing his passport to the man without saying a word. The officer straightened in his chair, fixing his tie in its place. He looked at the document and then back at Gibbs gravely.

“Where are you going, Leroy Jethro Gibbs?”

Gibbs’ eyes narrowed slightly, “to the boat. There’s a wedding on the island.”

“Hmmm, I see.”

The customs official kept flipping his passport, counting all the stamps on each page, taking his time.

“Is there anyone accompanying you, sir?”

Gibbs coughed softly and blinked a few times. He looked at Sloane, who was waiting for him just beside the boat which would take them to their accommodations. She waved to him. He smiled.

“Yes. Yes, I think there is.”

The officer pressed a stamp at the passport, but just as Gibbs tried to grab it, his hands wouldn’t let it go.

“You… You think?”

“I know.”

“Hmmm,” muttered the officer just as he released the document.

Gibbs opened up a rare smile as he walked towards the group, ticket in hand. He heard a commotion and turned back for a moment.

The officer was bending forward on the counter, half of his body visible out of the booth.

“IF YOU CHANGE YOUR MIND, I’LL BE FIRST IN LINE-”

Gibbs was laughing out loud when he held out his arm for Jack to hold.

“He’s a bit weird for an officer, don’t you think?” she asked.

“At my age, nothing is weird anymore,” he replied with a smile.

They stepped into the boat together, the wind tousling their hair and the sun kissing their skin.

“Agent Gibbs,” a voice came from the man deck, loud and reverberating.

Anthony DiNozzo Senior was waving at them, a charming smile displayed for the group. He carried a glass filled with a substance very similar to whiskey and on his other arm laid a young woman wearing a bikini, blonde hair dancing in the wind. He gave her a slight nod and she quickly found somewhere else to be. Senior opened up his welcoming arms to invite everyone to the main deck, his eyes twinkling.

“How very nice to see you all.”

“Not agent, just Jethro for the weekend, Mr. DiNozzo,” said Gibbs.

“Oh, call me Senior then, Jethro,” They gave each other a brief hug, patting each other’s back, “and who is this beauty by your side?”

He looked at Sloane curiously, raising her hand to his lips to kiss it lightly.

“Jack Sloane,” Gibbs answered facing her, not Senior, “this is Tony’s father.”

“Nice to meet you,” she shook his hand.

“The pleasure is all mine,” Senior said with a charming smirk, “oh, don’t worry, Jethro,” he squeezed his shoulder slightly, “I won’t go near her, she’s all yours. For now,” he added with a laugh.

“But why do you think-”

“YOU’RE HEEEEEERE!!! YOU’RE ACTUALLY HEEEEEERE!!!”

The air in his lungs was compressed harshly and Gibbs felt his body leaning backward at once, being pushed by someone who came running to meet him.

She hugged him very tightly.

“Abbs, hey, Abbs,” he said softly, caressing her hair, “I’m not going anywhere. Too… tight…”

“Oh, sorry, Gibbs, I just can’t believe you’re here it feels like a dream come true after all these weeks looking at your picture on my phone it’s just everyone’s here and I’m-”

“Abby. Breathe.”

“Yeah. Breathe. Important,” she breathed in and out, in and out until she started to relax and the world slowed down.

Gibbs held her shoulders throughout the process, eyes darting from her face to her outfit. She wore a skeleton swimsuit with a long wide piece of dark purple cloth tied at her waist. Four buns were displayed symmetrically on her hair, red sunglasses up her head. It was if the years hadn’t passed at all.

“I’ve missed you, Abbs,” he kissed her cheek.

“I’ve missed you more.”

“Aunt Abby is here!” exclaimed Morgan trying to get down her stroller. Her brother was sleeping soundly, arms around a fuzzy shark toy. She held her hands out towards Abby and looked to her mother asking her soundlessly to let her go.

“Heeeey, Morgie,” Delilah helped Abby raised the girl in her arms, “where’s the best hug in the world?”

“I like your bikini.”

“That’s very kind, thank you very much.”

“Abby…” McGee sighed heavily, quickly opening a big joyful smile as he stopped pushing the twins’ stroller, “only Tony and Ziva to get everyone in the same place.”

“Oh, McGee,” Abby gave him a side hug with her free arm, “I’ve missed you so.”

They smiled widely until their faces start to hurt, but the joy of the moment made it irrelevant.

“Nick Torres. I’m sorry, but you’ll have to stay at the pier.”

“And why’s that, Ellie Bishop?”

“We’re going by boat. And you,” she pushed her index finger on his chest, “said that you wouldn’t even step inside a boat again.”

“It was a SHIP, this is almost a cruise,” he grabbed a sparkly drink of a waitress passing by, “besides, can’t you see?”

“I fairly certain we all can see, Nick,” added Kasie, hands shading her eyes from the sun as she laughed at her own words. The sun up in the sky was relentless. A light orange cloth around her afro hair complimented her in the summer scenario. It was as if she belonged to the colors and energy of the trip.

“That’s exactly what I mean, Kasie,” Nick flexed his arms, visible from the white tank top he was wearing, and sat on a deck chair, sipping his new drink, “it’s Nick Torres. On a sun lounger. With a drink in his hands, translucent seawater by his feet and a prospering opportunity of a couple of days of paradise.”

“You’re talking in the third person, creep,” Ellie replied, “and this Tony and Ziva’s wedding, don’t mess it up.”

He stood up and got closer to her until they were sharing the same air. Bishop stopped breathing altogether, but her eyes didn’t leave his.

“How long ago since you let yourself truly relax on your last vacation, agent Bishop?” Nick asked.

She huffed a laugh, eyes raising from his lips to his big dark eyes, “touché,” was all Ellie replied.

“I’m- I’m gonna find some refreshments,” said Kasie awkwardly, “want something, Ellie?”

A loud horn sounded across the boat and the passengers started to swing at a slow pace. Seagulls flew overhead and the midday sun was up in the clear blue sky. Children waved from the pier, kites forgotten by their feet. A man started to sing loudly a vibrant song in Spanish, followed by a whole band picking up their instruments one by one, guitars, bongos and tambourines. His voice was clear and powerful, resonating on all parts of the main deck. Everyone started to cheer everywhere, clapping with the song.

“Can I have everyone’s attention, please?” asked Jimmy with a glass raised, eyes searching the team among the other passengers, “may this weekend be as close to perfect as it can be, may us be happy in our stay and may the family welcome with opened arms the new, but old in a way, couple. To Tony and Ziva.”

“To Tony and Ziva!” everyone exclaimed.

Victoria climbed on his shoulders and smiled up to the seagulls in the sky, her little sunglasses slipping from her head.

“My lady,” Jimmy said as he handed her the whistle around his neck.

She blew it with all her strength, receiving smiles and loud cheers in return.

“Victoria just started our very first vacation as an NCIS family. To us!”

“To us!” everyone clinked their glasses.

#ncis #tiva #ellick #slibbs #tiva fanfiction #ncis fanfiction #something blue fic #my fics #PLEASE read it on AO3 if you want the full experience!!!#I put all the song files there #very summer vibes is my way of coping #I just need everyone together and okay

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jackadler · 4 years

Text

TITLE: FUNNY, BUT IT SEEMS I ALWAYS WIND UP HERE WITH YOU. SETTING: Early morning, around 6AM. TRIGGER WARNINGS: Addiction, alcohol, depression, and drug mentions.

Fate is a cruel mistress. Who said that? Jack can’t remember. He thinks he might have heard it in a movie after a lover was scorned. That notion alone seemed fitting without the quote.

Marion Stewart was a needle to Jack Adler’s emotions that came in the shape of balloons. Blue eyes stare blank and uncertain at a gas station across the way, one where a woman with a roundish face and long blonde hair trickles down her back, pumps gas into her car. Another balloon bursts and Jack focuses on something else as the contents of this balloon clamber to the ground inside his mind. Her car is blue, dark blue, and the windows were tinted. His own car is black and the windows were also tinted. The pavement is cracked and so is Jack’s beating heart.

A neon sign beside him blinks and blinks, all bright colors. Blue and red. OPEN, it says in large letters, across the front window. Jack looks to his right, hands still white-knuckling the steering wheel. The sign says open and it’s all so daunting, the little liquor store besides him holding the contents of every ailment come and gone. But had it really gone? Perhaps not as his troubles bring him here, itching to indulge in every horrible desire that festers within the pit of his belly.

One drink. Maybe two. What’s the harm? I want to settle down.

These are the excuses he musters as he steps out of his car and heads to the front. He’s clad in his usual attire, though this time he places a baseball cap on his head. A rather lackluster attempt at keeping a low profile. Somehow, it usually does the trick. The little ding from the overhead bell sounds through the air like a siren once Jack opens the front door and steps inside. A warm smile is sent his way from the cashier working this morning. Jack examines every detail just as he did before. He’s a man, pointy face, and a mouth full of teeth that look like they’re trying to escape his head. His hair is dark and receding though it suits him somehow.

Jack was blessed with amazing hair, is what his stepmother used to say, a manicured hand running through his brown strands of hair. It was blond when he was born, which his biological mother always points out, though she loves his darker hair. He does too.

This all weaves through his mind and he almost forgets he’s standing before rows and rows of alcohol. It all seems to slip his mind, Jack drowning in a certain dissociative state. He could have just been overly tired but the whole situation feels like a dream. The corners of his vision haze a tad, his movements sluggish but frantic at the same time. How was that possible? Jack questions mentally, looking down at himself from above. He was floating above his body but somehow present too.

Jack grabs two large bottles of wine. Red. He brings them to the front, resting them carefully onto the counter before him. The cashier with the pointy face was still smiling as he begins to ring up Jack’s poison of choice. They’re placed inside two brown paper bags. Then the cashier states the price and nothing feels real. Even as Jack reaches into his pocket and plucks out his leather wallet, paying with cash. He thinks he mutters a thank you as he’s leaving the store but the second the moment passes, Jack can’t quite recall if he did or not.

The bags are placed on the passenger seat before he starts his car. The blonde woman pumping her gas was gone and so was her car. Something about that makes Jack feel empty inside. People come and go, Jack, what’s the big deal? You didn’t know her. But he cried regardless, the kind of quiet cry where nothing comes out of it but tears and silence. He can feel them sliding down his face, beard, and neck but he does nothing to wipe them away.

The singer arrives at his home in no time and Jack sits in his driveway for what feels like hours. Really, it was probably only fifteen minutes but within this hazy state, time has a way of wrapping itself around him strangely.

There’s also an itch all over his body. You’d think he’s broken out into a rash by the way he suddenly squirms uncomfortably inside his own skin and scratches at his arms and neck. But, really, it’s an internal itch, one he can’t quite reach. Only booze can ease it or a bump of cocaine or a couple pills. He can’t get those here, aside from alcohol. Not yet, anyway. Jack always finds a link somehow and maybe he will after downing these bottles.

Wait, are you going to down these bottles? Jack, why? The little angel on his shoulder asks, coming in the shape of himself but with a pair of white wings. They look tattered though and somehow bruised. His face too, worn down and tired. He feels bad for the tiny angel version of himself. He was trying so hard but to no prevail. Oh, can it, you stupid piece of shit. Look at him, he deserves a drink. You deserve a drink, Jack. Drink. Now the devil version of him is quite the opposite, scorned in a different way. He’s hurt too but comes in the shape of a beast. He still has Jack’s face but he’s nuzzled inside the body of a large bear. His face isn’t tired, not like the angel version. Devil Jack just seems angry and defeated. He looks for any excuse to indulge in poor behavior, that much was obvious too.

Jack spends the next ten minutes like this, going back and forth, before he reaches for the paper bags of wine and heads inside.

Before he knows it, he’s sitting in his living room, both bottles of wine uncovered and placed before him. Blue eyes stare at them as if he’s waiting for them to speak. Maybe they will, who knows. Nothing can quite shock him anymore especially when it comes to the state of his fragile mind. He’s still crying, his bottom lip quivering every once in a while. This time it’s not as silent and comes in the form of quiet sighs, sniffs, and huffs. He can’t bring himself to wail and sob, though that might help him currently.

He’s not sure why but he can feel eyes on him from all over.

Or maybe that’s just the shame and guilt that pools through him. Shame that stems from more than just being a recovering alcoholic who plans to get to drunk and pass out on his couch. No, this shame also comes from the fact that he’s allowed himself to be lead on by someone he loves. At thirty-eight years old, you’d think these things would have come and gone already. You’d think he’s already endured enough heartbreak to last a lifetime. Yet, here he was, trapped in the same heartbreak he’s been tending to since he was a teenager.

He hates that he still thinks of her even now, right as he’s about to spiral completely. Flashes of the night before clutter his mind. Jack thinks of when everything was just blonde hair, warmth, and a bed beneath them. Bliss. But was it bliss or denial? Perhaps they were the same thing in hindsight.

It’s then he realizes his nails have been digging into his own palms, earning crescent moon-like shapes to form on the delicate skin of his hands. The pigment there has begun to fade too, just as it does around his fingers. It’s a pale white compared to his natural complexion which was a tad more neutral-toned and darker. Jack found a little vitiligo spot on his neck a little while ago too that wasn’t there before.

God, why was he thinking about this? He might have his little angel to blame, that version of himself doing everything in his power to distract Jack from what was really about to happen.

But even that wasn’t enough to scratch the itch. With that, he reaches out and begins to frantically peel away the wrapping around the top of the first bottle of wine. Then he unscrews the cap and brings the opening to his mouth before...

RING RING RING RING RING.

His phone vibrates and makes noise from inside his pocket. For a moment, Jack listens to it, finding comfort in the sound before removing it from where it resides. Mom is the name staring back at him now. He freezes, eyes wide and afraid.

Jack sets the bottle down and answers, “Hello?” The brunette says quietly into his phone now pressed to his ear, “Oh, baby, you’re up? Did I wake you? I’m sorry for calling so early I just wanted to check-in. I had a weird feeling in my stomach and I thought I’d call. How’s everything out there?”

It’s then he realizes it’s Monday and Julia, his mother, always calls on Monday.

Now the two bottles stare at him this time, mocking him. He feels like they were shaking their heads at him even though they didn’t have heads. They were fucking bottles of wine.

“I’m — I’m okay. I, um, I was awake. I haven’t slept yet actually.” At least he’s telling the truth. Not entirely but it was still something. “You see, that might be it. I always know when you’re not sleeping well. I feel it in my belly as if you were still in there. You never slept well in my stomach, you were too excited to get out!” Julia laughs on the other end and Jack does too, faintly. He can hear sizzling in the background. Samantha, his stepmother, was probably making breakfast.

Jack was really crying now. A silent sob. He has to muffle it so his mother doesn’t hear. His hand is clasped over his mouth, eyes squeezed shut as he listens to her. “Baby, you still there?” She says, her voice gentler this time. “I’m here. I’m really tired, sorry. I’ve been um, working on a lot of things. Music. For the new album and everything. You know how I get.”

“Listen, honey, get some sleep and I’ll call you later on, okay? Me and mama love you very much. Get some rest or I’m coming down there and tucking you in myself, alright?” Jack can only nod, even though Julia couldn't see him. Though he feels like she’s there somehow. He sniffs before speaking, “Okay. I love you too. Very much. Bye.”

So, he hangs up and transports right back to where he was before. Though this time the sun is peering through his windows, casting lines of light onto the hardwood. Birds chirp signaling the start of a new day and newfound tiredness blankets Jack. He looks to the bottles and almost gags from shame. Suddenly his entire body is heavy and the lump in his throat grows and grows. He grabs them and heads for the kitchen, almost stumbling on the way there but he somehow stands his ground. With all his might, he turns them upside down and dumps them into the sink, aggressively shaking them to remove every ounce of booze inside each.

Blue eyes watch as the crimson liquid glides through the sink and down the drain until there was nothing left. The bottles are dropped into his trashcan located inside a nearby cabinet. Jack turns the faucet on and removes any excess wine before shutting it off once again.

Again, he stands there longer than he should before padding over to his bedroom. Along the way, he removes his pants and his shirt, clad in nothing but his boxers, and crawls into bed. His bed. Alone. Jack smells the familiar scent of himself embedded within his pillows and sheets. It’s nice, better than he remembered. He feels like he’s lived six thousand lives before settling back into his original skin, his original existence.

Usually, he detested himself, this stemming from deeprooted insecurity. But now he doesn’t mind it. He was too exhausted to be insecure or impulsive or sad. Even though he knows it’ll come back, it always comes back.

But, for now, new morning light leaking through his bedroom, he’s okay being his only one.

#drabble.#tw alcoholism #tw alcohol #tw addiction #tw drug mention #tw depression #WELL..........................................YEAH

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ain-t-bovvered · 4 years

Text

15x04 Commentary

bunch of tired and caffeinated Europeans ( plus a sleepy American) scream together, and then die and try to get on with their day ( lol AS IF)

Hello and welcome:

@purpleskiesandcherrypies (Nat)

@dean-winchesters-bacon (Kat)

@waywardbaby (Zee)

@ain-t-bovvered (Giulia)

Giulia: Ok so in my haste of things i just spilled all my hot coffee on my self. I’m burning but the ep is ready. But fuck

Kat: Oh shit. Go rinse with cold water

Zee: You alive ??

Giulia: No i burned my self with coffee

Nat : Where did you spill it

Giulia: Leg

Nat : You need a minute?

Giulia: No i think I’m good

Zee: Any blisters ?

Giulia: Well i’ll see tomorrow won’t I. Whatever just start the episode I’m already angry. Just...start the ep so I can deal with the mess later on , can’t wait for that

Nat : ok

Nat : 3

Nat : 2

Nat : 1

Nat : go

Nat : "We're gonna be free"

Giulia: No i don t wanna see this again

Zee: Becky ?

Giulia: Gasps

Zee: Wtf?

Nat : is

Nat : that

Kat: BEARDED DEAN BEARDED DEAN BEARDED DEAN

Giulia: AAAAAAH

Nat : AHHHHHHHHH

Giulia: jesus christ

Nat : BAMF

Giulia: Yes please

Nat : I THINK I'M WET

Kat: I KNOW I AM FUCKING HOTNESS IS WHAT IT IS

Giulia: YUM

Nat : I JUST SQUIRTED?

Zee: Are you asking ?

Nat : I'M NOT SURE IT'S ALL WET

Giulia: THE FUCK THE FUCK

Nat : FUCK

Nat : I'M NOT OK

Giulia: I HATE HOW MUCH I LOVE THIS

Nat : IT'S MORE THAN I HOPED FOR

Giulia: YES

Giulia: YES SAME

Kat: SO MUCH BAMF BEARDED DEAN

it’s what we deserve

Giulia: FUCK AAAAAAH

Nat : LUMBERJACK

Kat: BBBEEENNNNNNNNYYYYYY

Zee: Benny?

Giulia: AAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Nat : BENNY

Giulia: BENNY

Nat : I KNEW IT

Giulia: BEEEENNY

Nat : BENNYYYYYY

Giulia: NO

Nat : I TOLD YA

B: I'll see you on the other side, brother

Giulia: NOT THE SAME LINE

Zee: I can’t type

Nat : I'M CRYING

Zee: Bye

Giulia: FUCK OFF

Giulia: FUCKING HELL

Nat : OK BACK TO THE BEARD

Giulia: NO WHERE

Nat : THE VOICE

Kat: SAME THING HE SAID BEFORE HE WENT INTO DEANS ARM

Giulia: FUCK OFF

Nat : HE CAN LITERALLY HAVE ANYTHING HE WANTS

Nat : WHY ARE WE ALL SCREAMING

Giulia: AAAAAAH

Kat: FUCK HES SUCH A BADASS

Zee: OHHH FUCK

Nat : SHIT

Giulia: HATE THAT

Nat : CAN WE HAVE A PARALLEL SHOW WHERE EVERYONE IS BAMF

Kat: BOYKING DEMON SAM

D: What you did to them...what you did to Bobby...to Jody...

S: They tried to stop me. But I will not be stopped.

D: Sam, you listen to me.This is the demon blood. You have to fight it!

Giulia: JENSEN MY GOD

Nat : SHIT

S: Why would I do that?

D: Sammy Please

Giulia: MY GOD I CAN T

Nat : "SAMMY" I HATE IT WHEN HE SAYS IT

Giulia: SAMMY PLEASE

Nat : SAMMY PLEASE

Giulia: HOW ABOUT NO

Nat : NO

Giulia: WOW OK

Nat : FUCK YOU SAM

Kat: OUCH

Nat : Is that chucks book

Kat: And bye bye bearded Dean. Gone too soon

Already missed

Giulia: Well Sam do see his shit now

Nat : The beginning with Dean sounds like something I would write

Nat : I WANT MORE OF THAT DEAN

Giulia: Don t we all

S: Dean, you know I don't eat --

Is Sam vegetarian now?

Nat : VEGGIE BACON

Zee: VEGGIE BACON

Nat : WHY ARE WE STILL SCREAMING

S: "I don't want any of that hippie, Sarah McLaughlin grass-eater crap in the Meat Man's kitchen."

Giulia: MEAT MAN

Nat : THE MEAT MAN DOES HE KNOW WHAT IT MEANS?

Zee: ARE WE ALL GONNA BE TYPING IN CAPITALS?

Giulia: YEAH

Kat: It means he has a big dick

Nat : I KNOW, BUT HE DOESN'T

Nat : Anyway, I'm done watching am I not? That's it. That's the whole episode

Kat: My boys need hugs

D: Look, man, I get it, okay? With Jack...and Rowena..

Giulia: ARE WE GONNA ADRESS

Giulia: SEEMS NOT

Giulia: OK FINE, IT’S FINE, WE’RE FINE

Kat: What

Zee: What?

Giulia: Nothing . We just gonna push it down in true Winchester style.

Nat : Of course not, it's a filler episode

Kat: Oh, I think I know If it’s what I think, it’s not mentioned at all

Giulia: What else is new

S: That’s real bacon

D: You're damn right it is

meat man

Nat : Ok bye guys

Kat: SIT YOUR ASS DOWN

Nat : I WANT TO THINK THAT I SAW EVERYTHING I WANTED

Zee: No you didn’t

Kat: But it’s Jensen’s last ep. And I really like it.

Giulia: Anyway

Nat : lAcrOsS

Zee: The end of the world

Zee: He knows

Nat : The little prayer thing at half time

Kat: Ugh parents

Nat : me talking to someone

Nat : SIR CONTAIN YOUR EYEBROWS

Zee: That’s awesome

Giulia: That’s awesome

Giulia: Ok but u know what i don’t like about filler eps tho. That they are like these oases outside of everything where seems like things don’t matter .... Whatever

Nat : Gag me

Zee: Kinky

Nat : please do

Kat: What she said

Nat : SHOULDER TO HIP RATIO

Giulia: Oh the flask again. What esle is also new, this day is already ruined anyway

Kat: So good

Nat : also it's been shot in the beginning, I hardly think that Jensen knew what happened the episode before that.

Zee: Why is dean drinking and eating all the time?

Nat : don't you do that?

I mean....same

S: We keep them from dealing with the truth, with what's out there, and we carry the weight. It's great. They have no idea What's out there.

Kat: Sammy is a little disillusioned

Giulia: OH WHAT

Nat : oh no

Zee: Becky?!

Giulia: awe

Kat: She’s so normal now

Nat : There's something wrong with Becky

Zee: Great

Giulia: No fuck off

Nat : Ah, there it is

Kat: Not with her lol

Nat : God is fucking desperate

Giulia: That’s not everybody’s else problem tho so can he fuck off

Zee: Somebody’s got a fetish

Kat: Okay Dean

Nat : Don't we all

Kat: Cheerleader fetish lol

Nat : Mine is Dean

Kat: Many

Giulia: Of course she is

Giulia: Oh becky

Nat : mY WOrK

Zee: Oh honey

Nat : A little obsessed

Giulia: Oh honOh look she is us after the show ends

Nat : What show ends?

Kat: The one you’re not watching

Kat: At least she’s not a complete wackadoodle now

Nat : A little bit of a falling out

Zee: Poor God, Nobody wants to hang out with him

Nat : God is a fucking child throwing a tantrum

Kat: Because he’s a douche

Giulia: Awe that’s so pathetic it’s almost cute

Nat : It sounds wrong

B: I am married to an amazing man, I have two great kids,and I like myself, Chuck. For the first time in a long time, I like myself. So I don't need you.

YOU GO GIRL

Nat : you do you, becky

Zee: By Becky nonetheless

G: You don't need me. No one does.

Zee: Boo fucking hoo

G: I feel so lost.

Kat: Oh shut up with the pity party chuck

B: Then, Chuck, you have to write.

Giulia: Oh no he doesn t

Nat : Dean is eating his way through the episode

Kat: Rob plays annoying so well

Kat: thicc arms

Giulia: Sure she wants to help you lol

Kat: Dean with the slow clap

Zee: That smile

Nat : I can't with Dean's eyebrow this episode

Giulia: Felt that

Kat: I need wine lol

Nat : It's the dad?

Giulia: Wow

Nat : Anything stronger than what? Water?

Zee: What does he want with Becky ??

G: I mean, I used to be able to see Sam and Dean in my head, wherever they were, whatever they were doing. It was all just there, ripe for the picking. And now it's just gone.

Nat : oh god, chuck annoys the fuck out of me

Nat : throw him out, becks

Giulia: Hey

Zee: Fan fic isn’t the same ?? Excuse you dick

Nat : I read EXPOSE your dick

Kat: I wish she wouldn’t push him to write

Giulia: Awe look at that maniac stare

Kat: Bad idea

Giulia: Ew no

Kat: Of course

Nat : Ah, it's both of them

Nat : Sam walks in with a puppy look

Kat: He looks like that the whole ep

Giulia: How they know

Zee: TheY seriously need to control their ducking faces

Zee: Fu

D: We're not FBI.

Giulia: Well that was hot

Nat : Where did he keep the machete

Nat : in his pants?

IN HIS MEAT MAN PANTS

Kat: A holster under his many layers

Giulia: Not great

Nat : The way he says Sammy

Kat: JUST WAIT

Nat : But right at his ass

Zee: FOCUS

Kat: She is. On his ass.

Nat : I can't. I wanna see how he pulls it out from another angle

Zee: What she said

Nat : finger guns

B: No one even mentions Cass.

Giulia: AH

Zee: Thanks Becky

Giulia: I LIKE BECKY

Nat : Becky gets it

Giulia: chuck angry

Kat: SHUT UP BECKY

Nat : Ah no,

Giulia: Fuck. No thanks

Nat : I give you danger

Zee: Fuck you becky

NO, WE LIKE HER NOW

Nat : get off my dick god

Nat : Ah

Kat: Now you know

Nat : Well

dad: You don't have children, do you? Because if you did, you would know that to see your child in pain rips your heart out. And you'd know that you'd do anything. You'd die for them.

Giulia: AH but he does. They all do

Nat : He had a child, thank you very much

Giulia: JACK

Zee: And Ben

Nat : EMMA

Giulia: Meh whatever

Giulia: Hate this

Kat: This whole thing is sad

Nat : I mean, I kinda feel for them

Zee: The kid wants to do good

snorts.....like Jack....lol ring any bell?

*sound of someday starts to play*

Nat : AH

Giulia: AAAAAH

Zee: NOOOOOOO

Nat : SOUNDS OF SOMEDAY

Giulia: FUCK

Nat : WHAT

Giulia: STOP

Nat : MY GOD

Giulia: SOB

Nat : Great, now I will associate it with that scene?

Giulia: UGH

Zee: IM DEAD

Giulia: WOW OK

Nat : I'm sads

Zee: SHIT

Giulia: WELL OK

Nat : It's so sad

Giulia: oh no this is so sad. This shot is beautiful tho

Nat : Cuz it's true, the lengths parents are willing to go

Giulia: Chuck fuck off

Zee: FUCK YOU CHUCK

Nat : CHUCK SHOULD FUCKING GET OFF OUR DICKS

Giulia: Yeah it is dark af

Kat: IT GETS SO BAD GUYS

Giulia: Nice

Kat: HOLD ME

Zee: FUCK YOU

Nat : GO TELL HIM BECKY

Kat: Winchester 😭

Zee: WHYVIS BECKY US ?

B: You can't do this to the fans.

Nat : It's good right? Fuck off

Giulia: I already hate this

Kat: OH NO OH NO OH NO

Nat : Ah no

Giulia: OH COME ON

Nat : WTF

Giulia: CHUCK

Nat : FUCK YOU

Kat: IT GETS WORSE

Nat : FUCK YOU CHUCK

Zee: I can’t

Giulia: Ah babe dean already did that. Remember when Dean prayed to God about Mom, Crowley and Castiel? lol Bet this fucker made the exact face , maybe munching on popcorn

Nat : WHAT IS THIS SHIT

Giulia: and we are at 5 goodbyes . So: Kevin, Ketch, Rowena, Becky, Benny

Nat : I SHOULD HAVE STOPPED WATCHING IN THE BEGINNING AFTER THE RIDICULOUSLY HOT DEAN

Kat: See she shouldn’t have encouraged him

Giulia: With my leg burning

Zee: Shut up both of you

Nat : Go look after your leg

Kat: Now for the BM scene

Giulia: My room smells like coffee

Zee: Not bad

Giulia: Coffee i did not drink

Nat : Ah stop it Dean

Giulia: Why they look so much all over the place tho

S: we'd have done the same thing. For Jack. If we had the chance.

I can’t decipher Dean’s expression right now . idk.

D: I get it. We have lost way, way too much. And it's hard not to feel like just...cashing out. I felt like that. After Chuck, back at the crypt. But you know what brought me back? You did. By sayin' that what we do still matters. I mean, that's why I wanted to drag us out here That's why I wanted to -- to work a case, to save lives, you know? 'Cause it is -- it's a -- it's a crap job. We do the ugly things so that people can live happy.

S: lucky them

D: We still do the job. But we don't do it for us We did it for Jack, for Mom, for Rowena. We owe it to anybody who has ever gave a damn about us to keep putting one foot in front of the other. No matter what. And, hey, man, like you said, now that Chuck's gone,

Giulia: AH THEY THINK

D: we're finally on our own. We are finally free to... move on, you know?

Nat : Sam with his stupid puppy face

S: I can't forget any of them. Dean, I still think about Jessica. I -- I can't just let that go.

Giulia: aw sam

Kat: I still think about Jessica

Zee: Someone hug Sam

Kat: Damn it not the hearts

Kat: Sammy is broken af 😭

Nat : "I can't even breathe"

Nat : Same, Sam

Giulia: Hate this

Giulia: Hate

S : But maybe tomorrow. You know, maybe I'll -- I'll feel better in the morning.

Giulia: Can sam stop crying

Giulia: Asking for a friend

Nat : Can Sam just stop Period

Kat: Ugh chuck again

Giulia: Asshole

Nat : We all know it

Zee: I hate it

Nat : Promo?

Nat : So young, and the way he's so full of himself "obviously", so proud

Giulia: So cocky

Giulia: Bastard

Kat: Makes me giggle bc the fandom always says he doesn’t age

Zee: I can’t wait for the million red gifs

Kat: I’ve already reblogged a few sets

Zee: I saw

Kat: And made a post about his beard

Kat: Did you look before the episode?

Zee: I can’t hear you. I’m entering a tunnel

Why am I not even a bit surprised.

Zee: I’m talking about the gifs Giuls will start slapping us with

Giulia: Idk I don t feel like it. I’d would love to make them nicer BUT NO ONE I ASKED TOLD ME HOW so....

Nat : I’ll rewatch the first 5 minutes and keep on squirting

Zee: TMI bb?! lol

Nat : Is there anything like TMI with us?

NO, there ain’t

If you want to get tagged send an ask HERE or to @waywardbaby or a smoke signal, idk whatever I’m tired af.

TAGS: @wayward-angelgirl @destiel-honeypie @mariekoukie6661 @dragontamerm @closetspngirl @rainflowermoon @mattiecat @bunnybaby121115 @aliaitee2 @jacks-word-of-the-day @4evamc @dammitsammy @legendary-destiel @winchesterprincessbride @destielhoneybee @castiellover20 @ravenhg @evvvissticante @emoryhemsworth

#15x04 #15x04 spn #spn commentary #Supernatural episode #Episode commentary #season 15 commentary

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mirkwoodshewolf · 4 years

Text

Christmas with the Klines; Queen x reader x oc male

*Author’s note*

Well gang here we go with the long awaited Christmas fic for my Rock Angel series (god this whole year has been crazy with this series that I started one year ago since the 8th this month. Thank you all to those who have supported this series). Now I’ve been wanting to write this specific fic since last year but after Christmas ended last year I had no motivation to write it, but in light of the last Christmas for the 2010 decade, might as well close this year off with a bang for my Rock Angel series.

I hope you all enjoy this fic and I hope you all have a happy Holidays whether Christmas/Kwanzaa/Hannukah, and I hope the new decade of 2020 brings us better happiness and good fortune.

Taglist:

@plethora-of-things

@psychosupernatural

@waddles03

@ixchel-9275

@platawnic

@queendeakyy

@kairosfreddie

@simonedk

@onebigfangirlworld

@naturalswifty89

@starswin

@labessieisallama

@dj-lowkey

@isabella-bby

@5sos-wdw

@bohemiansweede

@geek-and-proud

__________________________________________________________

*Dec. 22nd, 1983*

It was that time of year again. The greatest time of year, especially in England. Christmas time. Just the other day, the guys and I finished our last show before the holiday break and then after New Year’s we would be back on the road again to finish the Angel-Queen tour. It was also special because now I finally had me a good boyfriend to spend the holidays with.

Don’t get me wrong, the guys are awesome and their families have been so welcoming to me. With Christmas Eve at Freddie’s with his party and then Christmas day dinner location changes every year, like last year it was at Deacy’s and this year Roger was hosting the dinner.

But it is nice to spend it with someone around my age, and one that I can share a romantic Christmas with this time, unlike back with Adam.

This year however was gonna be different, because this year I wasn’t going to join the guys for Christmas. Jack and I talked and he said that it would be a good idea for me to meet his family, since he had met mine.

I agreed to the idea but I won’t deny that I was fucking nervous. I mean he’s told me all about his mum, step-father, cousins and their family but I was really nervous to meet them, especially his mum.

I had no idea what she’ll think of a rockstar dating her son, would she like me or automatically have an image of me based off the Sex, Drugs and Rock and Roll motto?

“Yeah. Yes mom we’ll be there tomorrow morning. Yep flight’s all cleared to go and snow’s not to come till tomorrow night. Don’t worry we’re on the first flight tonight. Mom stop worrying.” Jack, who was on the phone, looked at me and made a funny face which made me softly chuckle. “Yes we can’t wait to see you too. Love you too mom, bye.” He hung up and sighed heavily. I rubbed his shoulder. “I know but sometimes she baby’s me too much.” He sighed. I giggled as I leaned against his back and wrapped my arms around his waist.

“That just means she loved you so much.” I rubbed his back for a moment of silence before I asked him “Do you think she’ll like me?” he turned towards me and he said.

“She’ll love you.”

“How do you know that?” he cupped my face into his hands and said as he leaned his forehead against mine.

“I’ve told her about you. And she’s been begging me to bring you over. Especially since it was made official by the press that the Rock Angel had herself a lover boy.” I eye rolled remembering the first tabloid that got released after Jack and I were caught kissing in Paris before the concert. “Hey,” he stroked my cheek and we both stared into each other’s eyes. “It’s gonna be okay. My whole family’s gonna love you.”

“How is it you know exactly what to say to put me at ease?”

“Just lucky I guess.” He shrugged as he grinned innocently. I smiled and as we leaned in and almost kissed each other, the phone rang. I groaned and dropped my head down onto his shoulder as I went and picked it up.

“Hello?”

‘Well about bloody time you picked up.’

“What do you want Roger?”

‘Well judging by the tone in your voice missy seems I interrupted something special. Good.’

“Just say what you called to ask me Rog.”

‘Alright, alright no need to get your knickers in a twist lovie. I wanted to ask you in Dominque’s stand about what time you’ll be coming over to help her with the Christmas dinner?’ Oh god—I knew this had to come so might as well get it out now.

“Actually Rog I—I’m not going this year.”

‘Oh okay so you’re not—WHAT!?!? WHAT DO YOU MEAN NOT COMING!!!’ I pulled the phone away from my ear as he shouted out. I turned to Jack and I mouthed out ‘I’m so sorry.’

“Roger don’t be so—”

‘I’ll fucking be as hysterical as I want to be! Lovie you always come for Christmas dinners. Does this also mean you’ll be missing Fred’s party too. You’re thankful he’s not hosting this year cause this is just a taste had you told him you weren’t coming.’

“I know. And yes I’m not going to the Christmas eve party either.”

‘Oh lovie, (y/n), (y/n), (y/n), (y/n) lovie. My little lion cub why not?’

“Well—I’ll be in America. See Jack has invited me over for Christmas with his family. And his mum has also insisted on meeting me since we are an official couple.”

‘But can’t you at least spend the New Year with them?’

“It’s too late Rog. Jack and I bought our tickets for tonight and we’ll be in America till the New Year.”

‘But—’

“It’s settled Roger I’m sorry. Now please no begging, whining or pleading. Tell Felix he’ll expect his gift from his auntie right at Christmas, along with all my other nephews and nieces. Goodbye Roger, have a safe Christmas and don’t get hammered again like you did last year.”

I then hung up the phone before another debate could start. I sighed heavily and felt Jack now beginning to massage my shoulders.

“I swear I love that man like a father but sometimes he can be so—hysterical it’s not even funny.”

“Ohh don’t let it get to you baby. That just means he loves you so much.” He threw my words back at his face. I raised my brow at him and he just grinned back at me.

“Guess we both have got ourselves some smothers huh?”

“Can’t argue there. So—shall we get some sleep before our flight?”

“Nah we can just sleep on the flight. Now let’s see we’ve got—4 hours till we have to leave for the airport. I say we order in and then we can head out to the airport shortly after? Cause during the holidays transportation to the airports are always crazy.”

“That works for me.” I smiled and rung up the number for the Chinese restaurant that I usually get my takeout’s from. Within fifteen minutes our food finally arrived and Jack and I sat down at the couch watching some old Christmas movies as we ate our dinner.

Once we got done, I took out my bins for trash collecting, we both ran through a checklist to make sure we got everything, especially Jack. Then once the hour was up we headed on out and hailed a cabbie to the airport. When we reached the airport, of course it wasn’t easy not only dealing with long security and getting our passports checked out, but also fans were stopping us wanting me to sign their CD’s, posters, or wanting pictures.

Of course I didn’t want to seem rude but Jack and I needed to get to our flights. So I signed a few things but refused photos because we needed to get to our gate before the plane took off. Thankfully we made it just as the first class seating’s were being called up.

Jack and I handed the woman our tickets and passports and she checked us out and told us to have a safe flight to the States. Jack and I went through the tunnel and we managed to find our seats. I sighed heavily as I leaned back in my seat.

“Hey, we made it didn’t we?”

“Yes. Thankfully. I’m just so sorry you also had to deal with the threatening male fans telling you to stay away.”

“Yeah well they’re just gonna have to deal with it. Cause I don’t plan on leaving you soon.” I smiled softly and kissed him. I cuddled close to him as we waited for about 20 minutes till finally the plane was ready to take off.

After getting some snacks and a few glasses of champagne, Jack and I took out the blanket and our neck pillows and cuddled close together before finally falling asleep.

When I woke up, I groaned and stretched my legs as best I could and let out a yawn.

“Good morning.” I looked up to see Jack smiling tiredly down at me.

“Good morning.” I moaned tiredly.

“Hello beautiful.” I hummed a chuckle and I said.

“We there yet?”

“Have a look out the window.” I leaned over him and looked out to see a small little town just below us. “Baby, welcome to Lebanon, Kansas.” He packed up the blankets while I packed away the neck pillows and out pilot told us we would begin our decent into Lebanon and to get back into our seats and to fasten our seatbelts. Thankfully there wasn’t any turbulence going down (which I am always thankful for).

And within ten minutes we landed in Lebanon airport. It was a small airport compared to what I’ve seen before in the big cities but it didn’t matter cause it was just as busy as any other airport is, especially around the holidays.

After getting our passports checked out and the worker telling Jack welcome home and telling me to have a good Christmas. As we walked out and headed towards the baggage claim, there was a loud booming voice that seemed to echo throughout the chaos in the airport.

“Jack! YO JACK!” We looked up and as a few people passed by, I saw a man around Roger’s age maybe even a bit older than him waving his hand in the air. He had dark brown hair and had a dark beard starting to grow around his face.

“Ahh shit.” He muttered.

“Wait is that….”

“Yeah, My eldest cousin.” He came up to us with a wide smile and his arms extended.

“There he is. C’mere lover boy!” Jack’s cousin pulled Jack in for a noogie.

“Hey Jensen, been a long time.”

“When Jared told me you’d be staying across the pond till Christmas I almost didn’t want to believe it. Please tell me you haven’t fully given up real American football.”

“No I haven’t.” Jack groaned as he managed to get out of his cousin’s grip.

“Ehh that’s my boy!” he then turned towards me and said, “Oh hohoho. So this is the British beauty that kept you in England huh?”

“Jensen, this is (y/n). (Y/n) my older cousin Jensen.”

“Enchanté mademoiselle.” He casually flirted but of course his mispronunciation in the French tone was so bad it was funny.

“Le plaisir est tout à moi monsieur.” I told him and of course he just gaped at me which made me laugh.

“Jack I thought you said she was British.”

“I can speak several languages. Just because I’m a rockstar doesn’t mean I’m not educated or dropped out of high school to do so.”

“He didn’t mean any offense babe, right Jensen?” Jack sneered towards him as he spoke his cousin’s name.

“Yeah, right, right. I just wasn’t expected a reply in French.”

“Brian helped teach me a few languages. He said it makes the audience feel more involved when you speak in their language.”

“Boy Jared’s gonna love you. Guy has an ear for languages. So come on you two lovebirds, let’s get your bags and onto home. Aunt Kelly’s been calling me non-stop to pick you guys up on my way up here after getting some work done.” As he walked away Jack said.

“He owns a mechanic shop in Austin, Texas.”

“The one your uncle owned?”

“Yep. Jensen got it last year after his dad passed away from a heart attack.”

“Oh I’m so sorry to hear that.”

“It’s fine. Seems like he’s moved on from his grief last I saw him at the start of the summer.”

“Well are you two coming or not?” Jack rolled his eyes and took my hand and we headed on over to the baggage claim. After waiting about seven minutes for our bags to come and another nine to finally find our bags we then headed out to the parking garage and there we saw a 1967 black Chevy Impala.

“Wow, what Roger wouldn’t give to see that car.” I muttered.

“Interested in cars?” asked Jensen as he opened up the trunk and he and Jack put the heavy suitcases into the trunk.

“Well not really. I prefer bikes.”

“Oh really, what do you ride?”

“Well for my birthday earlier this year my—my friend gave me a red Honda CB750 red Nightwing.” Jensen whistled.

“Damn I’ve seen only a couple of those in my shop, mostly mountain bikes or four-wheelers. I’d give anything to see that beautiful thing.”

“Well next time you’re in London give me a buzz and I’ll introduce you.”

“It would be an honor Angel.” Wow this guy was a fan of cars and bikes much like Roger was. Oh god—another Roger Taylor. And an American one at that, just what the world needs.

“Okay well better not keep mom waiting. Let’s get going Jensen.”

“Righty-o cousin of mine. Hope in the back with your lady.”

“Are you ever gonna let me in the front seat?”

“As long as I’m alive, hell no.” Jack fussed but I took his arm and said.

“Oh come on you big baby.” I opened the door and got inside and Jack slide beside me while Jensen got in the driver’s seat and turned on the engine which purred and revved on.

“Ahh, love to hear this old girl purr. Got her as a present from my old man after I returned from the war.”

“The war? What war?” I asked.

“Didn’t lover boy tell you that I fought in Vietnam?”

“No. He did not.” I said as I turned to Jack.

“Is it really that important?”

“Uh hell yeah it is. My reputation is at stake, you think I’d just let you tell this lovely lady I just worked at my pop’s mechanic shop and now own it. Oh hell no pal!” As we pulled out of the airport I was then told of Jensen’s career in Vietnam in the Marines.

I was told he got the Medal of honor for saving his fleet from an oncoming ambush, even though it was against protocol to avert from the trail they were supposed to go on. He saved over 300 soldiers that day by diverting them away from the ambush.

After about an hour and a half on the road, we drove along a dirt path until we finally came up to a beautiful farmhouse. It kinda reminded me of Rockfield farm with a house on one side of the hill and the barn just down below.

Jensen parked his car and shut the engine off and I could see that standing on the porch was a man around Jensen’s age with short black hair and wearing probably the worst Christmas jumper I have ever seen.

“Oh god Misha I told him not to wear that damn thing.” Jensen muttered, oh so this was Jack’s stepfather. We all got out of the car and that’s when Misha came down the steps of the porch and he said.

“Well our long lost sheep has finally returned. Hey Jack.”

“Hey dad.” Jack smiled as he walked up to his stepdad and the two of them hugged each other. “So where is she?”

“She’s right here.” The two of them turned to me and Jack introduced us. “Dad, I’d like you to meet (y/n) (l/n). (Y/n) this is my dad Misha.”

“Well in literal terms I’m his stepdad but I did help raise this little nugget from the day he was born.” Misha said as he ruffled Jack’s hair. I smiled and extended my arm and said.

“Jack’s told me so much about you Mr. Collins.”

“Oh please call me Misha. And our Jack has definitely told us a lot about you.” I turned to Jack anxiously and he assured me.

“Good things babe I promise.”

“Jack?” a female voice soon called out. Then standing at the door was a fairly beautiful young woman. She had shoulder length styled brown hair with highlights at the tips, I could definitely see some of Jack’s features from her like her eyes, nose, and some of her facial features almost resembled Jack’s to a T.

“Mom.”

“You’re back!” she then raced down the steps and immediately embraced her son.

It was such a warm and touching moment, kinda reminded me of my mum whenever she and dad would return from a gig or even just from their jobs. Like Veronica, Jack’s mum beamed with a beautiful aurora that just screamed ‘motherhood’ and ‘warmly’.

“Oh my baby boy’s finally home. I just can’t believe you’re finally home. Never stay away from me that long okay I missed you too much.” She kissed her son’s cheek once more and Jack said.

“Mom please don’t embarrass me.”

“Oh stop it. I’m your mother that’s kinda my job.” She teased. It was then she turned and saw me.

Oh bugger here we go. But keep calm (y/n), remember what Veronica, Dominque and Chrissie told you. The biggest impression you must make when being introduced to your boyfriend’s family is to be approachable to the mother.

She will be the most protective so just remain calm, relaxed, be yourself and hopefully she won’t smell your fear.

“Is this her?”

“Yep. Mom, this is my girlfriend (y/n) (l/n). (Y/n), this is my mom Kelly Kline.” She then came right up to me and I took a soft but deep breath.

“Hello Mrs. Kline. It—it is an honor to finally meet the woman who raised such a gentleman.” She looked me over a few times before finally saying.

“Well I’m glad that my teachings came in handy for someone in the end. Jack told me of how you two met and frankly I never would’ve thought celebrities had to deal with that day in and day out.”

“Yeah it—always comes with the territory. Especially with women in the industry.”

“That’s just dreadful. But I am thankful my son stepped in when he did. And please (y/n), call me Kelly.” She said as she took my hands in hers, her thumbs gently stroking the back of my hands comfortingly. She walked back over to Jack and I thought I heard her say to him, “She’s a pretty one Jack.”

“Alright well why don’t we get you two settled inside, you must be exhausted from the trip.” Jensen and Misha then helped with the bags while Jack, his mum and I went inside the house.

It was a quaint little house, definitely made me think back to Rockfield farm. All along the walls were old photographs of either Kelly or Jack, Misha and Jack’s cousins.

“So is Jared here yet?” asked Jack.

“Just about, last time he got a hold up at work but he and the family left last night. So they should be here in the next hour or so.” Replied Jensen.

“I hope they don’t get into another accident. God why must people drive so crazy?” a female voice stated from the stairs. Soon coming down holding a young girl that almost looked identical to her, was a woman with long auburn hair and deep brown eyes.

“Mommy it’s the Rock angel! The Rock angel is really here!” the young girl squirmed out of her mom’s grip and she raced up to me and hugged my legs.

“Ah-ah JJ! Remember what we talked about.” Jensen warned the little girl known as JJ.

“It’s okay Jensen, I’m used to this. I’ve got little fans back home that do this to me every time I see them.” I thought back to the little Deacy ducklings, little Felix and the May siblings.

“So sorry about our daughter, she’s such a big fan of yours and has been looking forward to meeting you.” The woman said.

“It’s fine. But off stage you can call me (y/n).”

“Danneel, but most people call me Dani. I’m Jensen’s wife.” The two of us shook hands with each other.

“So how did you meet Jensen?” I asked her as I picked up little JJ and held her in my arms.

“Oh well knucklehead was in the bar one night down in my hometown of Dallas, I challenged him to a game of pool and beat him fair and square.”

“Uhh no baby I let you win because I didn’t want you to feel bad.”

“Oh you just can’t accept the fact that a girl beat you at pool even when you were playing your best.” I grinned and I turned to JJ and asked her.

“So JJ, what’s your favorite song of mine?”

“Set it all free.”

“Oh don’t get her started on that. She’ll religiously listen to that song, begs us repeatedly to play it for her in the car all day.” Jensen groaned out.

“Oh you don’t get to complain, I see you jamming out and doing the air guitar solo every time she asks you to play it.” Dani ratted him out. I chuckled and that’s when I set JJ down and I said.

“You know JJ, if you’d like I could sign my record for you.” She gasped and turned to her mum and Dani said.

“Go and get your CD from the car.” And like a shot JJ was off. I looked to her and I asked.

“What’s a CD?”

“Think a miniature version of a vinyl.” Answered Jensen.

“Ahh. So guess Miami agreed to turn my records into these CD’s then.”

“Miami?” asked Dani.

“That’s her manager’s nickname.” Jack answered. Both Jensen and Dani ahhed in understandment and that’s when JJ came in with her CD. She handed it to me and I took the time to admire it. Wow it really was a miniature version of a vinyl record. I wonder if Queen’s albums are also being turned to CD’s.

“Okay let’s see here,” Jack handed me a sharpie and I thanked him as I went to sign the CD cover.

To JJ,

Always believe in yourself and rock on lovely.

Hugs and kisses. (Y/n) the Rock Angel.

And I did my signature angel wings around my stage name as well as the halo over the G.

“There you go love.” She squealed in excitement before hugging me tightly and going off to probably admire and stare at it for hours.

“You know she’s gonna end up worshipping that right?” Jack whispered to me. I playfully swatted his arm and we both grabbed our suitcases and headed up the stairs.

Once we reached Jack’s old bedroom, I took in all of the posters he had in his room.

“Oh shit I forgot about all this.”

“Wow, seems you’re more of a fangirl than I was.” I teased him. All around he had posters of bands like Led Zeppelin and AC/DC and of course Queen, to the solo artists like Bowie and Elton.

“Please don’t tell the guys about this, please (y/n).”

“Ohh I don’t know.” I teased with a cheeky grin.

“S—seriously (y/n) don’t tell them about my room.”

“Okay, okay I promise I won’t tell them.”

“I don’t believe you.” He then pulled me onto his bed and hovered over me and proceeded to tickle my sides.

“Shit no Jack dohohohon’t!”

“Not till I know for certain you won’t tell your boys about this.”

“I swear! I swear I promise they won’t hear about it just stop tickling me!” he ceased his tickle attack and grinned victoriously down at me. “You are a twat I hope you know that.”

“Yeah, a dirty twat that you love.” I hummed.

“That I do.” He leaned down and captured my lips with his. I cupped my hand to the side of his face as our kiss became a bit deeper. Just as I felt his tongue gently peek out wanting entrance, we suddenly heard a young boy’s voice say.

“Ewww! Uncle Jack’s kissing a girl!” we separated and there I saw two young boys. One was the oldest probably around 7-8 and the other one just a couple years younger than him, between 4-6.

They both had dark brown hair and chocolate brown eyes and the two of them just stood there.

“Oh bugger.” I muttered.

“Tom, Shep didn’t I tell you boys to knock before—oh wow okay uhh….So sorry bout that.” Soon an older man came walking in with the same brown hair as his son’s and he had the same colored eyes as Roger. “Welcome back Jack uhh—we’ll uhh…..get out of your hair and…..”

“It’s fine Jared. Might as well get introductions out of the way.” The two of us sat up and I adjusted my hair and that’s when the older boy pointed at me and said.

“Wait you’re the Rock Angel! Uncle Jack why didn’t you tell me you were swapping spit with the Rock Angel!?”

“Thomas!” Jared snapped. Wow this kid sure does love to speak his mind. Jack and I cleared our throats as Jack told him.

“I wasn’t swapping spit with her, it was—just a kiss.”

“Yeah French kissing. Is that really how they kiss?”

“Thomas enough. In fact where did you even hear that from?”

“Uncle Jensen.” Thomas nonchalantly stated.

“Why doesn’t that surprise me? Well there go his babysitting status. Right well why don’t you kids head back downstairs to your mom.” The boys whined but with one look from their father the two of them raced off downstairs. “Again I am so sorry about them, I’ll be sure to talk to my brother about their language and behavior, especially Thomas’.” Jared spoke as he came and stood by the bed.

“It’s fine.”

“I’m Jared by the way. Jensen’s younger brother. Jack’s—”

“Told you all about me. I’ve been getting that a lot lately. Now if I remember correctly, Jack told me you worked in the court system?” I said as the two of us shook hands with each other.

“Yes, lawyer actually.”

“Ahh so what kind of cases do you usually stick with.”

“I went to Stanford to study criminal law. I uhh—work under the Prosecution back in Austin. Work under the D.A.”

“Impressive. So have you put away any bad guys?”

“More than I can count. My first case was actually the O’Bryan case back in ‘74. The Candy man.”

“Wait I think I remember the British News talking about that, it was dreadful to hear such a thing like that could happen.”

“Yeah it—it was brutal. But thanks to my team and I we were able to put the son of a bitch away and sentence him to death. Just wish they would hurry up with the execution already.”

“That’s my cousins. One likes to brag about war stories and the other obsessed with serial killers.” Jack said to me.

“It’s not an obsession!” Jared defended.

“Whatever helps you sleep at night Jared. Anyways, why don’t we go downstairs and I can introduce you to Gen, Jared’s wife.”

“I’d love to. Maybe then we can also help with any cooking for tomorrow that your mum might have planned.” And with that the three of us headed downstairs to the living room.

Like Dani, Gen was a sweet woman. In a way she reminded me a mix between Veronica’s sweetness but also Dominque’s strength and wittiness, especially when it came to her brother in law Jensen.

I’ll admit meeting Jack’s family turned out to be less stressful than I imagined. I can’t believe I was so stressed out in meeting them, turns out some were fans like his cousin’s kids, or they didn’t believe the stereotypes for Rockstars which I was thankful for.

The next morning, it was finally Christmas Eve. I woke up to Jack gently stroking through my hair and him staring down at me lovingly.

“Good morning you.” I groaned tiredly.

“Morning.” He praised. “You ready to have a Kline Christmas?”

“Absolutely. What is the tradition of the Kline family on Christmas eve?”

“Come with me and you’ll see.” He helped me up and the two of us got dressed and headed downstairs.

We came into the kitchen and I saw the entire Kline family in the kitchen prepping for something.

“Ahh the lovebirds arouse awake.” Jensen stated.

“Good morning you two. Did you sleep okay?” asked Kelly.

“Great mom, thanks.”

“We slept wonderfully Mrs. Kline.”

“Great, now come over and help us build our gingerbread palace.” She said.

“Wait I—I thought it was just a house?” I asked.

“Yeah well since we make min gingerbread people of ourselves, a house can’t quite fit all of us so we settle for a palace.” Jack told me.

“So come on guys, help us out. Sooner we get this made, the sooner it can start settling in and we can start making gingerbread us.” Said Misha. So Jack and I walked in the kitchen and we began working on the palace.

Apparently it was Dani’s turn to design the palace this year (Jack mentioned that every year a different person makes a few designs for the potential gingerbread palaces and she picked the best one). And the design she had was beautifully done.

So Jack and I were in charge of the roofs, Gen and Jared tackled the walls, Misha and Kelly worked on the towers, and Dani and Jensen did the bridge and the kids would work on the minor decorations with the gumdrops, candy and all the other small minor stuff. Even though it’s been a long time since I made a gingerbread house back at my nana’s house, Jack helped me whenever I screwed up.

His hands would come over mine and he’d guide me in how to make the style of roof Dani had designed. Much like how I would guide his hands in how to play the piano or the bass. And whenever I did something right, I got a kiss as a reward which made all the women awe and the kids go eww.

Once the gingerbread palace was finally assembled, we then turned to make our official gingerbread men. I figured for mine, I’d give myself the red streak that I first started off with before finally getting rid of it at the beginning of this year.

I also made myself a red special guitar that Brian gave me to hold and to support my boys, I made a Q on my chest to represent Queen. Kelly then put the cookies in the oven and when they were all done, I saw that mine turned out really good.

When we got the all clear after about an hour, the kids finally came in and we helped them decorate the palace. They told us where each thing was going to go and how to arrange certain pieces of candy or gumdrops.

Finally it was time to place our gingerbread men around the palace. First Kelly and Misha placed their gingerbread men down, then Jensen and Jared, Gen and Dani, Jack, JJ, Thomas and Shep.

“(Y/n)? Aren’t you going to place your gingerbread down?” Kelly asked me.

“Yeah I just…..need to find the perfect spot.”

“Why not put it next to Jack? Lovebirds need to remain together right?” asked Jensen.

“Go on baby.” Jack assured me. I then found Jack’s gingerbread man and placed mine right next to his and we all stood and marveled at our gingerbread palace.

After the gingerbread making, we gathered around the piano singing a few Christmas carols (of course JJ and Thomas tried to get me to mostly sing solo) but I kindly declined to sing all of them solo, just a couple. Then it was time for dinner while the kids picked out between the animated Christmas movies only (tomorrow they would do the Claymation ones like Rudolph and Santa clause is coming to town).

With the turkey, ham and all other sorts of Christmas dishes was down on the table, we all gathered around the table and Kelly led us in prayer first before we finally sat down to eat. As I was digging into some of the mashed potatoes, Misha asked.

“You know (y/n), Jack’s only told us a bit about you but not the whole story about you.”

“Yeh, like your parents. What are they like? Were they okay with you spending Christmas with us instead of being home in England?” I paused eating another bite of my mashed potatoes and set my fork down gently feeling that same depressing feeling that I felt for years since I was 8 up until my first Christmas with the boys.

“Uhh mom, dad let’s not talk about—”

“No Jack. It’s okay. I can tell them.”

“Are you sure?” he asked me concerned.

“Yes.”

“What happened? Your parents didn’t approve with your dream of being a rockstar?” asked Jensen.

“You’re half right. Except it wasn’t my parents. They died when I was just 8 years old.” At that point the table went quiet.

“Oh gosh I—I’m so sorry to hear that sweetie.” Kelly said sympathetically.

“How did they die?” asked Shep.

“Shep don’t.” Gen warned her son.

“It’s okay Gen, I can answer that. It—was a car crash, during a storm. I was then put into the care of my mum’s older sister, my aunt. And her and my uncle weren’t—the nicest of people.” Goddamn it girl don’t start crying now, think of the boys. Think of your boys!

I felt Jack take my hand and squeeze it comfortingly, his thumb brushing the back of my hand.

“But—I did find a wonderful family to love me for who I am. Not just your son but my real family. My team, my manager Miami, and my lovely partners not only in the industry but in life, Queen.”

“Well, it’s nice to see that musicians care about one another even beyond work.” Said Kelly with a soft smile.

“Yeah, in more ways than one.” I muttered with a soft smile. Oh I hope the guys are still having a wonderful Christmas even without me there.

After dinner I was sitting on the couch and JJ made herself comfortable on my lap. I then saw Jack coming in wearing probably the most goofiest thing I have ever seen.

It was a headband that had a hook attached to the top of it and at the end curve of the hook, there was a bit of mistletoe attached to it.

“What is this?” I laughed.

“Tradition. Now come on, you’re stuck under the mistletoe, you know what you must do right?”

“Yeah I know what I have to do.” I then leaned down and pecked JJ’s cheek leaving Jack flabbergasted.

“That’s not what I had in mind.”

“Oh you big baby come here.” I pulled him close and gave him the kiss that he wanted. After that he sat close beside me and as Gen pulled out the animated movies she said.

“Okay we’ve got Charlie Brown Christmas, Frosty, the Grinch. What shall we watch first?”

“The Grinch!” proclaimed Thomas.

“Now I want to watch Frosty!” argued Shep.

“No we started off with that last year. Let’s do the Grinch!” JJ proclaimed.

“Hang on kids, hang on. I think—in light of the fact we’ve got a new addition to our Christmas movie watching, I think we should let (y/n) choose the movie we watch first.” Stated Misha.

“I can work with that.” Jensen said.

“Yeah let’s do that.”

“Oh no I can’t do that.” I argued. “Don’t let me ruin how you guys do this.”

“There’s no harm. We always let the family additions have first pick of movies around the holidays. If you don’t believe us you can ask Gen and Dani.” Kelly said. I turned to the women and they both nodded.

“Might as well pick one out babe. My mom’s like Freddie when it comes to persistency.” He whispered the last part in my ear which made me grin.

“Okay well—I’ve never seen Charlie Brown Christmas.”

“Wait what was that?” Jensen started off. “Did I just hear you right in saying you’ve never seen any of the Charlie Brown movies?”

“There’s more of them?”

“Oh my god how could—how could you not know Charlie Brown?” Jensen proclaimed.

“Sorry Jensen. I just—was never exposed to it. Was he always a cartoon?”

“No they came from the brilliant mind that is Charles Schulz. The Peanuts gang started off as a comic book before releasing their first movie which was this Christmas special.”

“Why are they called the Peanuts gang?”

“Because that’s what Schulz called them in the comics. Don’t worry you poor misguided child, I’ll let you read the paper tomorrow and you’ll see a real Peanut’s comic.” I turned to Jack and he shook his head and mouthed out sorry to me.

“Okay so A Charlie Brown Christmas it is then.” Gen then took the VCR out of the box and placed it into the player and pressed the play button and soon the Kline Christmas movie tradition began to commence.

And I will say by the end of Charlie Brown, I actually came to love it. But poor Charlie Brown always getting bullied by his so called friends and getting the boot out of everything in life, it just—makes me wanna hug him.

By the time it grew dark outside, it was time for bed. So after getting dressed and changed into my pajamas once more, I saw that Jack had not yet taken the mistletoe hat off.

“Are you ever gonna take that thing off?” I asked as I walked up to him.

“Not until the day after tomorrow. Or at least I get 100 kisses from you.”

“Why must you be so cute?” I giggled.

“Well my granddad was a former WW2 veteran, and my grandma was a tiny cute bunny.” I giggled again and got into bed beside him to feel him wrap his arms around my waist.

“Goodnight Jack.”

“G’night my love. See you in the morning.” We then kissed each other again before finally falling asleep after a long Christmas eve day.

The next morning I woke up to a series of soft kisses. I groaned and turned to the side to see Jack staring down at my lovingly.

“Merry Christmas baby.”

“Merry Christmas love.” It was finally time. Christmas morning. I stretched myself out and rose up from the bed and Jack followed suit wrapping his arms around me and pulling me in for a kiss. I looked up to see him still wearing that milestone headband. “I still can’t believe you’re still wearing that ridiculous thing.”

“But it got a kiss out of you last night and this morning right?” I took it off of him and kissed his cheek.

“You know you don’t need mistletoe to get a kiss from me.” He grinned and just as he leaned in to kiss me, the door opened and soon kids came pouring in.

“Uncle Jack! Aunt (y/n) wake up it’s Christmas!” proclaimed Jared’s oldest son Thomas.

“Let’s go get up lazy bones!” cried Jensen’s oldest JJ.

“You can sleep when you’re dead get up! Santa came! Santa came!” cried out Shep, Jared’s youngest son. And then they raced out after shaking our bed and rattling us like we were maracas.

Then as quickly as they came, they raced out of Jack’s room and raced downstairs.

“Kids. Don’t you wish you could be that young again?” I chuckled.

“Yeah. Christmas was always such a magical time of year for me. Mom never forgave me for jumping up and down on the bed waking her up on Christmas morning.”

“Awww now that I would love to see.” He then pounced on me sending me backwards onto the bed with him hovering over me.

“Trust me, no you don’t.” he smirked down at me before cupping my cheek and leaned down and finished the kiss he was about to start before the kid ambush happened. I hummed softly as we soon separated and I said.

“C’mon you, let’s go see if Santa brought us anything.” I sat up and got out of bed but was suddenly pulled back and was sitting on Jack’s lap.

“Can’t I at least have one final kiss.” I raised my brow at him and slightly scowled him before submitting to his demands and pecked his cheek before taking his hand and the two of us headed downstairs.

It was there we saw all the kids already opening or playing with their new toys while we saw Misha, Kelly, and Gen already up and about. Misha was sipping his morning coffee while Gen and Kelly were making breakfast.

“Merry Christmas.” The both of us said.

“Merry Christmas.” They choired back.

“How did you two sleep?” asked Misha.

“We slept good dad thank you. So when’s breakfast gonna be ready?”

“It’ll be ready when it’s ready Jack.” His mother said.

“Here (y/n), why don’t you give us a hand, we sure could use the extra hand.” Said Gen. I nodded and headed over and helped them out by setting up the table and doing whatever preparations Kelly or Gen needed help with.

Once Jensen, Danneel and Jared finally woke up breakfast was just about ready so we called everyone into the kitchen to have Christmas breakfast. We all gathered around in a circle and Misha led us in grace, then after praying we all got our breakfast and proceeded to eat.

After breakfast it was the grownups time to open up their presents. I got Jack some new bass strings and managed to make a scrapbook of some of out moments together throughout this year. While he got me a new necklace with a heart shape locket, and new records.

I also got some minor gifts for the rest of Jack’s family like I got Kelly a new bracelet, Misha got some new literature books that I thought he’d be interested to put into his library, Jensen got some car fuel for his baby as well as Led Zeppelin records, Gen got the sweater she saw at the shop when we all had a girl’s shopping day to bond, Gen got a couple of bracelets and I also got Jared some records like Elton John and David Bowie as well as a new tailored suit that he could wear once he got back to work.

After opening some more presents and getting dressed Jack and I went outside along with Jared, Jensen and their wives. Jack and I hopped up along the porch railing while Jared and Gen were on the porch swing and Jensen and Dani took the two rocking chairs. It was a beautiful day with the sun shining, not quite like the white Christmases I’ve had in the past but at least it wasn’t raining.

“Beautiful day isn’t it?” asked Gen.

“Yeah. Much better than it was last year.” Agreed Dani.

“I’ll drink to that.” Jensen said as he sipped his beer.

“It’s absolutely fabulous my darlings!” At that voice I quickly turned around but the next thing I knew I cried out as I fell right into the bushes right beside the front porch.

I could hear the sound of kids laughing and a proclamation from a familiar Leicester accent.

“Now you done it Fred.”

“Just get me the bloody hell out of here!” Jack came over as well as another figure and when I saw the familiar curly hair of Brian May help my boyfriend in getting me out of the bush he apologized on Fred’s behalf.

“Sorry (y/n).” he said as he took some leaves and twigs out of my hair.

“Sure you are. But—what are you doing here?” I turned around and I saw it was the entire Queen family. Not just the guys but the wives as well as the kids. “In fact what are you all doing here?”

“What’s it look like? We came to spend Christmas with you.” Said Freddie.

“And since Christmas is about spending time with family, we figured that it wouldn’t be a bad idea to meet Jack’s family as well.” Brian said as he finished picking out the final leaf that was stuck in my hair and stroked it down.

“And the kids really missed their auntie and wanted to thank you for their gifts in person.” Said Veronica as she held little Laura in her arms. It was then the kids all came running up to me and hugged me before all saying.

“Thank you auntie (y/n).”

“I really loved the race cars you got me.” Said Michael.

“And the coloring books you got me, I even got to draw you a picture on the plane.” Said Felix.

“I wanted to wear my princess dress you got me but mummy and daddy wouldn’t let me but I’ll wear it when you come home okay?” said Laura.

“I would love to see you in it Laura. I saw it and I thought only one little girl needed to have it.” I said as I picked her up and held her in my arms.

“So this is your family (y/n)?” I heard Dani’s voice say. We all turned around and I said.

“Oh right sorry. Jensen, Jared, Danneel and Genevieve you all probably know the members of Queen; Freddie, John, Roger and Brian. And these lovely ladies are the wives of Queen. Veronica is Deacy’s lovely wife and their kids are Michael, Robert, baby Joshua, and Laura. Dominque is Roger’s lovely raven haired beauty and their son over there is Felix. And Chrissie is Brian’s wife along with their kids Jimmy and Louisa.”

“Wow so you really weren’t kidding about Queen being your family.” His wife elbowed him in the side making him groan.

“What my husband’s trying to say is that—we didn’t expect you guys to actually come.”

“Yeah, yeah we get it. Didn’t think that this lovely girl here could actually be family to one of the biggest rock bands in the world. Well it’s true. The day we met (n/n) here, she just clicked with us as an intern. And she’s only grown into a better artist and a more confident person.” Roger said as he came up and gently ruffled my hair.

“Well why don’t we all head inside? I’m sure Kelly and Misha would like to meet you both since Jack’s told them about you all.” Gen said as she stood up from the swing.

“So you’ve also told your parents about us Jack dear?” asked Freddie.

“In a way.” Jack admitted.

“All good things I hope.” Piped in Brian.

“I promise nothing bad.” Jack assured him.

“Alright well let’s get inside, I need to change this little one’s diaper and then get him down for a nap.” Veronica said as she gestured to Joshua in his little baby carrier that Deacy was holding. We all nodded and soon began filing in the house.

“Mom! Dad!”

“In the living room Jack!” Misha proclaimed. We all piled in and as soon as my family made their appearance, the eyes on both Kelly’s and Misha’s face were eyes that I have seen over a thousand times before.

They were star struck.

“Jack…..” his mom started.

“Yeah mom they uhh—they decided to come spend Christmas with us.”

“We know we should’ve given either Jack or (y/n) a head’s notice but some of us thought a surprise would be better.” Brian spoke as he looked towards Freddie and Roger who both merely looked away as if they didn’t hear anything Brian just said. “We hope we didn’t cause any inconvenience.”

“No. No not at all. In fact we’ve…..we’ve been dying to meet (y/n)’s family. Now it seems we get our wish.” Kelly said.

“So how long have you all known each other?” asked Misha.

“September marked the three year anniversary since I met the guys at my internship.” I said.

“Wow three years, god feels like it’s been longer than that.” Roger said as he wrapped an arm around me and kissed the top of my head. I smiled and leaned my head against his chest and wrapped my arm around him.

“I know it’s crazy. But I wouldn’t have it any other way. These guys—are my family.”

As the day went on, we were now gathered in the basement for more space and also to get ready for Christmas dinner. I was downstairs with the guys and I saw Jensen, Jared, Roger, and Deacy playing a game of pool, while Brian and Misha were sitting together chatting away as a football game was rolling.

“Now Jack said you were an astronomer of sorts?”

“In a way yes. I went for a physics degree specifically in the study of astrophysics at Imperial college.”

“Wow that’s amazing. You know my father studied astrophysics too. He was once even employed over at NASA before he retired.”

“Really? What did he do?”

“He was the Director of field studies.”

“Wait your father was Robert Collins. The Robert Collins.”

“Yeah. Thought he’d see me working alongside him one day but I just wasn’t as smart as he was. So I ended up with the typical 9-5 office job. I swear I never seen my father more disappointed in me than that day.”

“I know exactly how you felt Misha. When I put my studies aside to do this gig, my parents were very radical about it. My dad especially thought I was throwing my life away. That was until Madison Square Garden back in ’77 when they finally understood.”

“Yeah. I think it wasn’t until a few years ago I got my dad to finally approve of my work. Now being the CEO of the company now, helping Kelly raise Jack, he’s starting to slowly come around.” I smiled at the two men finding a commonality between the two of them.

“And Misha. Brian is currently still in the works of his research paper.” I said as I came up to them and wrapped my arms around Brian.

“Really? What’s your paper on Brian?”

“Interplanetary stardust. Specifically in how it affects Zodiacal light.”

“That’s our clever space man. Which is why he always cheats at scrabble.” I said before poking at him as I said my end statement.

He chuckled and placed his hand on the back of my head and planted a wet kiss to my cheek. Making me exclaim and wipe the leftover spit away.

“Especially compared to this one who was going to be a dentist.” Teased Deacy.

“What? Are you serious?” laughed Jensen.

“I was never a dentist.” Roger said as he looked up from the pool table just before he could make his shot.

“He’s a dentist.” Deacy teased again.

“He was a dentist.” Brian agreed.

“Either way I got bored of it and switched my major to Biology.”

“And what of the other two Queen members?” Misha asked.

“Well Fred got a degree in graphic design.” I explained remembering back to when Fred told me of him being the genius behind the Queen logo.

“And I got mine in electrical engineering.” Added Deacy.

“Wow so all of you guys managed to finish your degrees and graduate college. I always thought all rockstars just dropped out of school to pursue Rock and roll.”

“Well there are some that do. A few friends of mine from Def Leppard didn’t finish school for one reason or another.” Brian said.

“We just felt that since we were almost done with our years, well except for that one.” Roger pointed to Deacy. “Might as well finish off while we can and then focus our energies on the band.”

“At first I just did it as a side thing. I didn’t really believe this would get serious, at least until our first album went on the charts.” Said Deacy.

“Wow such confidence in your new band there Johnny D.” Jensen said as he readied up for his strike at the white ball. He took the shot and that’s when Jared spoke up.

“So question, if the band never formed at all would you guys have gone for anything regarding to your majors?” the room went silent for a bit then Brian spoke up.

“We always get the ‘what ifs’ cause at first I don’t think any of us except for Fred really believed we’d last for as long as we did. I mean already over ten years since we been together and we’re just reaching the stratosphere in music history.”

“I’d like to think I would’ve still tried to do something involved with drumming. Maybe form my own band or go solo like I did. Drumming has just always been a part of my life that I don’t think I could work a usual day to day job unless I really needed to.” Said Roger.

“There were some potentials that I did get when I graduated the highest in Electrical engineering. I’ve always just found it fascinating in taking things apart of reassembling them back together, just to see how they tick. Plus I’d be home a lot more with Veronica and the kids, but then I wouldn’t have met that clever girl there. Even with us living 20 minutes apart from each other.” I grinned at Deacy.

“So to answer their question for you Misha, they wouldn’t have it any other way.” I said as I leaned against Brian and he placed his head next to mine.

“Dinner’s ready!” we heard Veronica cry from upstairs.

“Alrighty gents, let’s go eat.” I said as I raced on up the stairs and as I cross the living room I saw not only the mini-queens but Jack’s niece and nephews all playing together.

Oh it warmed my heart to see the whole bunch of these kids immediately click together. I saw Thomas, Michael, Robert, Jimmy and Shep all playing with Thomas’ new trainset while Louisa, Laura and JJ were playing with some cabbage patch kids.

“Come on lovies, it’s time to eat.” At that split second, the kids all shot up and raced towards the kitchen.

“Ah, ah, ah, ah no running kids!” I warned them. We all gathered in the kitchen and gathered around the kitchen.

“Jack dear, would you like to lead in Grace this year?” asked his mum. Jack took my hand and he said with a smile.

“Sure mom.” We all gathered around and bowed our heads as Jack led us in prayer. “Heavenly father we thank you for this wonderful Christmas year. We like to give thanks to (y/n)’s family who had a safe travel to come and see her, may you always watch over them as well as all of us. And continue to watch us as we go on into the new year. Bless us with your love and in your son’s name we pray. Amen.”

“Amen.” We all choired out before finally going around the entire kitchen to grab all the food that was cooked thanks to the wives of each family. Once I had grabbed some mashed potatoes with gravy, turkey, ham, some rolls and mac and cheese I headed over to the living room to see Jack already at his seat on the couch.

He smiled and scooted over and I gladly sat down beside him.

“Hey baby.”

“Hello love.” I set my plate down in my lap and took a bite of my roll first. “God I hadn’t had bread in so long. It’s a shame that once I start touring again my team’s gonna force me back into shape to lose the holiday calories.”

“Well if you want my opinion, I think you look beautiful.” I awed at him but just before we could kiss each other, a throat cleared and there stood Roger with an interrogating brow raised. I glared at him and that’s when Dominque came in and nudged Roger in the ribs giving him a look of her own.

“Okay movie tradition part 2. (Y/n) shall you choose another movie for us to start with for tonight?” Kelly said.

“I wouldn’t mind.”

“Okay we’ve got Rudolph, Santa Clause is coming to town, the Little drummer boy, Year without a Santa Clause.”

“I’ve always loved watching Rudolph as a child. It—was actually my mum’s favorite.” I looked down sadly and that’s when I felt Jack rub my knee comfortingly. I nodded telling him that I was fine and that’s when Kelly put in the Rudolph the Red nosed reindeer VHS tape into the VCR.

The kids all gathered in front of the TV and of course we all told them to not get too close to it. As the movie went on and Hermie made his appearance Jensen just had to say.

“Hey look it’s Roger.” Rog turned to Jensen and said.

“What makes you say that?”

‘Well sir someday I’d like to be a—a dentist.’ We heard Hermie speak his line. At that point Roger rolled his eyes upward while Jensen just chuckled mockingly and sipped his beer. I smiled and bite my lower lip to contain my laughter but I couldn’t help the quiet snort snicker that came out of me. As the movie continued to go on, it was the scene where Rudolph meets Clarisse, which was probably my most favorite scene all because of Rudolph’s famed line.

“Not gonna lie, that’s what I felt like doing the second you told me you loved me.” Jack whispered in my ear. I looked up at him and whispered back.

“Well I’m not gonna lie either, because I felt like doing the exact same thing when we were at the festival.” He smiled and pecked my cheek which made my heart race and I felt myself blushing.

After a few more of the traditional Claymation Christmas movies, the kids were starting to get sleepy.

“Well I guess it’s time for us to get these kids to bed. Do you all know of a good hotel nearby?” asked Chrissie.

“Oh don’t be silly Chrissie. You all can stay at our homes.” Said Danneel.

“Oh no Danneel we couldn’t impose.” Said Brian.

“Really we all have plenty of room. Plus all the hotels nearby are practically filled during the Christmas season.” Said Jared.

“Luckily Jared and I built vacation houses near here so you all can decide who you want to bunk with.” Said Jensen.

“And since Jack and (y/n) are sharing a room together we’ve got two spare rooms to share.”

“Dominque and I can bunk here, if that’s alright with you Kelly.” Said Roger. I glared at him with a look telling him to ‘behave’ but he just looked at me unphased.

“No Roger dear, I can stay here. You, Dominque and Felix will stay with your American twin.”

“Yeah Rog. Why not stay with me?” Jensen said as he pulled Roger in a sideways hug. Freddie turned to me and I mouthed ‘thank you’ and he simply winked at me.

“The Deacons and the Mays can stay with us, and the kids can punk together.” Said Gen.

“Daddy can Louisa and Laura spend the night with us at our house?” asked JJ.

“I think that would be a good idea. Girls can have their own little sleepover and the boys can stay with us.” Said Danneel.

“Would you and Louisa like that Laura?” asked Deacy.

“Yeah sleepovers are fun. Plus JJ said she’d show us her Barbie dreamhouse.”

“Okay you and Louisa can spend the night with JJ. But be on your best behavior.” Said Veronica.

“You too Louisa.” Brian said to his daughter.

“I will daddy, I promise.” Said Louisa.

“Alright it’s official. Come on girls gather up your stuff and put it in the trunk. Let’s go saddle up.” Jensen told the girls and soon Laura, JJ and Louisa grabbed their toys and headed out to the car. Soon it was a hustle and bustle of getting things organized and people getting into the chosen cars so that they could go to the appropriate house for the night.

I hugged and kissed my whole family goodnight and told them I’d see them in the morning. Of course Roger stayed back and warned me.

“No funny business you two. I swear it I have Fred watching you two like a hawk.”

“Oi Taylor! Stop harassing the lovebirds and get your British ass in here before I leave you!” Jensen cried out.

“Language Jensen!” I heard Danneel hiss.

“Sorry honey. Girls never say those words, they’re reserved for grownups only.” Roger looked back at me and I said.

“Go on Rog. I promise nothing’s going to happen.”

“Yeah Roger dear. Besides even if it did, they probably might’ve already done it by now since they no longer had the hovering lion to interrupt them this time.” Said Fred as he wrapped an arm around my shoulder.

“Not helping Fred.” I hissed lowly.

“Now go on Rog, have fun with your American twin. You both can find sexy parts of your cars together.” I snickered and at that point Roger looked up with a ‘just kill me’ look. The horn beeped and Roger turned around shouting out.

“Keep your cowboy trousers on I’m coming!” I turned to Fred and said.

“You’re really not gonna watch over us all night are you?”

“Oh don’t be so dramatic, darling. I wouldn’t dream of doing something like that. I trust Jack and he’s not a nasty brute who would cup a feel of you in your sleep.” Wow Fred always got to make things dirtier than they are. But at least he wasn’t gonna be 24/7 guard like Roger was claiming earlier.

Shortly after everyone left and we all got ready for bed, Freddie and I kissed each other goodnight and I walked right back into Jack’s room and shut the door.

“Again I am so sorry they just showed up. I literally had no idea they’d—”

“Hey. Like I said don’t worry about it. I mean yeah it sure was a surprise but I know my mom and dad didn’t mind. Besides it was better they met them now instead of in the future.” Jack assured me.

“I guess.”

“Come on now,” he stood up and took my hand and guided me back to his bed and we both sat down. “They love you (y/n). And I’m sure they couldn’t stand not spending one Christmas without you, plus it seems that Jensen and Roger were getting along quite well.”

“Fred was right about one thing. They are definitely twins when it comes to Rock and roll and cars.”

“Yeah Jensen always claimed that everything after 1979 is shit.” I smiled and said.

“Yeah Rog always speaks the truth when it comes to other artists. He will like them or hate them. If I remember correctly he didn’t like my song ‘Who I am’ because of the drum loops.”

“Wow so he can even criticize his favorite little angel?” Jack asked in mock-shock.

“Yes he does. But I’m a big girl I can take criticism from my favorite band.”

“I know you can. Because you,” as he emphasized the word you, he pulled me into his arms and even adjusted me so that I now ended up in his lap. “Are no lamb. You are a true lioness in the industry of wolves.”

“Yep, except for Queen who are my pride.” Jack and I grinned at each other before giving each other a peck before cuddling into bed. “Merry Christmas Jack.”

“Merry Christmas baby, love you.”

“Love you too.” And with that the two of us fell asleep holding each other.

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all-hail-the-witcher · 4 years

Note

I have literally no clue how to do this, but director’s commentary on your ‘One expensive can of easy cheese’ fic?

hell yeah!!

all comments will be in bold

______

Race was sat on top of the counter in his and Albert’s apartment, race only knows how to sit on counters lets be real, he can't sit in a chair to save his life a piece of duct tape over his mouth and his hands tied together with kitchen twine KINKYY. He sighed against his restraints, resigned to watch his boyfriend make their contribution to this year’s Thanksgiving gathering: mac and cheese. okay so its mac and cheese cause if you read spies mac and cheese is Literally the Only thing albert knows how to cook, other than coffee, and he's Really Fuckin Good At It (he's the mikey of mac and cheese okay this is my hc)

Now, of course everyone and their mother knew that mac and cheese was not a Traditional Thanksgiving Food is it though, r a c e r?. But, Albert had won (best out of three) mario kart yesterday so he had gotten to decide what they would bring to Jack’s house i was gonna make it rock paper scissors, i do not know hot to play mariokart, but it sounds more heated than rock paper scissors. Had Race known that he had been planning to make mac and fucking cheese, maybe he would have tried a little harder race be quiet you literally love alberts mac and cheese its a known fact.

Apparently, Albert was not pleased with Race’s reaction to his decision to make mac and cheese, and thought that Race might try to get in the way somehow (which he may or may not have fully intended to do) he did. So he did what any loving boyfriend would: sat him on the counter, put duct tape over his mouth and tied his hands together so he wouldn’t interfere albert sounds real kinky in this, why did i make this so kinky, wait when did i even write this.

Race was beginning to wonder why he had agreed to move in with Albert in the first place. CAUSE YOU LOVE HIM THATS WHY

With a violent shake of his head and one final spat who the fuck uses the word spat huh saph??, he was able to dislodge the duct tape d i s l o d g e thats some karen bs right there.

“Albieeeeee,” he whined, laying down on the counter. “Can you pleaaaaaaaseee let me helllllllllp?” yeah albert let him help jeez he's the one who actually knows how to cook

Albert barely glanced up as he pulled the big wooden spoon out of the pot and gave it a thoughtful lick note to self, all licks should always be thoughtful. “Hmmmmmmm. No.” dumbass. if only you knew what was coming.

“But-!” He wriggled w r i g g l e d around to give Albert his best puppy dog eyes. “Can I make something else then? Ple-OW!” He glared at the spatula that had been hurled at his arm. “You apologize for that!” damn albie why so mean? o wait i wrote this wait...

“Nah.” He smirked and went back to stirring his wretched pasta okay but i did a good job making race salty i gotta give myself that. Well, actually Albert’s mac and cheese was quite good hELL YEAH IT IS. Race was just salty that he was making it for Thanksgiving when it was very well known that he was the chef of the two and Jack was expecting something good not the mac and cheese Albert famously made at 2am in college when they were all high as hell. okay real talk tho, no one eats good mac and cheese in college, its the instant microwave shit cause were all broke so thats a lie race

“Can you at least untie me then?” ;)

“No.” Albert even bother considering this time. albert this is gettin Real Kinky..

“Well.” If logic wasn't going to work on Albert he would have to try another method. “I know you know how to make a guy feel good Albie HAH YES I KNEW I PULLED SOMETHING WEIRD, but I never expected ropes to be a part of it. What’s next? Handcuffs? Whips? Chains?” i gotta tell ya life without ya has been hard. hard? has been bad. bad? has been r o u g h. k i N kY

In two seconds flat Race was out of his kitchen twine bonds and flexing his sore wrists. LIKE HECK HE WAS CAUSE ALBERTS ACE AND HE DONT WANT THAT REPUTATION!!!

“Man Albie, who knew you had a twine kink.” hehe u go race

“You know,” Albert began loudly, as if thinking that his loudness would cover up his totally obvious twine kink yeah albie has a twine kink, he licks it, no this is a joke, “if you want to do something that's actually useful, you could go to Walgreens and buy me another can of Easy Cheese.” W A L G R E E NS. this whole fit was an excuse to write another part of the walgreens au

“Is that what you put in your fuckin mac and cheese?” Race swore he actually felt bile rise in the back of his throat when Albert nodded. “That’s it. I’m never eating your mac and cheese again.” BUT YOU LIKE IT

“But-!”

“I’ll eat you though,” Race winked, taking a moment to enjoy the startled, yet somehow pleased look on his boyfriend’s face. okay maybe albert wasn't ace in this particular fic...

“Not until after we’re done at Jack’s.” yeah definitely not scratch that. i write a lot of fics. Albert said only half jokingly as he dug around in his pocket for a second before throwing a crumpled five at Race. “In the meantime though, be gone thot!” GO AWAYYYY. IM A MAN OF GOD. mikey and my sister have subjected me to too many tik toks im sorry

Race barely managed to catch the bill without falling on the floor, but still blew a kiss to Albert before walking out of the apartment.

Who the fuck puts easy cheese in mac and cheese? albert does. but its actually a plot point just to get you to walgreens and if anyone puts easy cheese in mac and cheese i will fite you. He wondered for the millionth time as he stomped the three blocks to Walgreens. Albert claimed that he had chosen his apartment for its proximity to the store he did, actually, but up until today Race had always assumed that he had been joking he was not. The man did make a lot of mac and cheese and if Easy Cheese was an ingredient well….maybe there was some truth to that story after all. you can buy easy cheese at a lot of places tho...i don't actually know if you can buy easy cheese at a walgreens

Race pulled open the door to the Walgreens, pausing briefly to wonder why the absolute fuck it was open on literal Thanksgiving before remembering that it was a fucking Walgreens and why wouldn’t it be open to sell his dumbass boyfriend a can of fucking Easy Cheese. walgreens remains a mystery indeed. my only experience was the one that my best friend and i would go to at lunch during senior year. also have you ever noticed that most walgreenses are on corners? cause their slogan is at the corner of happy and healthy??

In order to get to the Easy Cheese, or at least he assumed so because he had never bought a can of Easy Cheese in his whole glorious 25 years of life a true chef, Race had to walk past the Pharmacy section of the store. And, it just so happened that there was a guy sitting behind the counter at the Pharmacy. A very attractive guy. With a beard. In scrubs. oh my god the most questionable villain I've ever written.

Now, of course Race loved Albert and nothing would ever change that, but he could appreciate an attractive man when he saw one indeed he could. He thanked whatever deity was out there for the bit of man candy M AN C AN D Y that he had been granted and went in search of his Easy Cheese. oh just you wait racetrack

“Mac and cheese, velveta cheese, microwaveable mac and cheese, where the fuck is the- oh thank fuck there we go.” my best friend and i spent much time looking at the mac and cheese in walgreens He pulled a can of Easy Cheese off of the shelf, tossing it once and catching it athletics before turning to go pay for the horrendous product, happy to finally be done with the whole ordeal when- B R E T T

“Easy cheese? Really?”

Race whirled whirled? saph please get a better vocabulary around to see Mr. Man Candy hA himself leaning against the opposite shelf. “Wh- who?”

“Oh,” he dusted his hand off on his scrubbs oh my god Wait i wrote this cause one time when i was in a walgreens i Did see a hot dude working the pharmacy and decided to write a fic about it!! i remember texting mikey about this hjfhgjhg, “allow me to introduce myself. My name is Brett O’Hare. and mikey came up with that name And you, sir, are a disgrace to society. The very reason why so many Americans are in poor health in this day and age.” brett is an obnoxious millennial in case you can't tell

“I’m sorry, what?”

“The Easy Cheese!” Brett gestured wildly toward the can in Race’s hand. “Gosh do you even know how many preservatives are in that stuff? And all the cancers that it can cause? It’s terrible. We wouldn’t need free healthcare if people just stopped eating Easy Cheese!” apparently he's a millennial who's also a republican...?

Race had lived in New York City his whole life, and he had seen some pretty strange things subway pizza rat, but never had he seen a pharmacist in a Walgreens lecture anyone about the health benefits of Easy Cheese. easy cheese has no health benefits. and if you'd stopped annoying your boyfriend maybe you wouldn't be there

“So let me get this straight,” Race rubbed his head, trying to make sense of the situation. “You go around yelling at people about the ingredients in the things that they are purchasing?” yeah its nyc people love to have Opinions. and so do millennials

“Yeah.”

“You do realize that this is a Walgreens, right? Everything in here probably contains some kind of chemical.” man brett has his work cut out for him. New Yorkers never ceased to amaze him.

“All the more reason for me to inform them of their poor eating habits!” Brett pointed a finger at him. “And stop distracting me! You’re the one buying the freaking easy cheese here!” this is so weird why did i come up with this idea. what possessed me.

“It’s not even for me!” Race shouted back. “It’s for my boyfriend’s fucking mac and cheese that he insisted on making for Thanksgiving even though everyone knows that mac and cheese is not a fucking Thanksgiving food and he’s only making it cause he knocked me off the goddamn rainbow road right before the fucking finish line!” someones salty Race was fuming but the time that he was done.

“Oh, man I’m so sorry, that's lousy.” but it won't stop brett...

Race looked surprised. Of all the things that he thought he would get out of this Walgreens experience, a therapy session was indeed not on the list. But neither had been hearing a lecture about the preservatives in Easy Cheese from a pharmacist. i have literally no explanation for this train wreck of a fic

“But that doesn’t change the fact that you’re still buying Easy Cheese!” Between one second and the next, Brett had grabbed the can of Easy Cheese out of Race’s hand, wielding it like a brick ha percy jackson heroes of olympus anyone??. “Buy some fucking vegetables!” you can't buy vegetables in a walgreens brett

And with that, he struck Race over the head with the can of Easy Cheese.

Now, Race had definitely done some questionable things during his life Thats for sure. Once he had slept on the roof of his dorm building in January for a week because he lost his dorm key god why you can't even get on the roof of dorm buildings i know, I've tried, and another time he had been tricked into making an entire wedding cake using salt by Who??. However, being smacked over the head with a can of Easy Cheese by a health nut in scrubs on Thanksgiving put any and all other situations he had been in to shame in a walgreens don't forget. how did you forget that saph.

He opened his eyes, suddenly blinded by the lights, and reached for his phone, muttering curses about man candy and vegetables as he should be. Squinting so he didn’t have to look at the screen, he somehow managed to dial Albert. no one d i a l s anyone saph. its the 21st century. i have like maybe 8 phone numbers memorized, half of them belong to my family the other half to people i knew in middle school.

“Racetrack Higgins, where is my Easy Cheese?”

Race pulled the phone away from his ear and winced at the sound of his boyfriend’s voice. “Um, it may have been used to give me a concussion by a health nut in scrubs?” for Once al isn't the one who gets injured in a walgreens. bet you didnt see That coming

Albert let out a loud sigh. “Ah man, did you run into Brett? That guy’s the worst.” hehe bet al used to date him

“Wait, you know him?”

“Race, I know every Walgreens employee in Manhattan, of course I know Brett.” There was the jangling of keys in the background. “I thought I told you to go to the one on 4th for this reason, ah, well. I’m on my way. I’ll take you to urgent care. Hang tight.” ofc al goes to urgent care. and everyone there knows him by a first name basis

Race’s head hurt too much to process what Albert had said except for the words ‘I’m on my way.’ “Okay,” he sighed. this was definitely one of the times i asked mikey about oddly specific concussion symptoms and then proceeded to forget everything he told me and do my own stuff

“Love you.”

“Love you too.” Race’s eyes focused on the dented can of Easy Cheese rolling on the floor he should still buy it. “And Al?”

“Yeah?”

“This is going to be one expensive can of Easy Cheese.” get it? cause race has to pay urgent care for his consultation? and they're also Very Very late to thanksgiving. cause al insists on finishing his mac. jack is not impressed. he eats all races pie.

anyway thats that hope you enjoyed

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winchester-interrupted · 5 years

Text

Bad Mood

Pairing: Platonic!Dean x reader, Platonic!Sam x reader

Summary: Deans been in a bad mood, so you tag along with him on a beer run to try and cheer him up - which proves to be a whole lot harder than you thought.

(A/N): Kind of a crack fic. Little bit of fluff at the end. Dean being a dick, thats pretty much it.

“Son of a-“ Dean yelled from the kitchen; you could hear the fridge door slamming from your seat in the library. You raised a brow at the heavy footsteps coming down the hall and into the room, eyes coming up to meet the annoyed green ones staring back and forth between you and Sam.

“Problem Winchester?” you questioned, trying to hide your amused smile behind a very dusty volume of the Heptameron, a book about angels you’d dug up from the Men of Letters archives.

Dean looked incredulously at the both of you and raised his arms,

“Who the hell took the last beer and didn’t think to go buy more ASAP?”

Sam furrowed his brows at his brother, not even bothering to hide his smile as you had been trying to.

“Dean did- did you just say ‘ASAP’ out loud?” You’ve dropped your head in your hands now, unable to control yourself after Sam’s comment.

“It was you wasn’t it! I knew it was you!” Dean pointed an accusing finger in Sam’s direction, to which Sam just snorted at.

“Whatever dude, I’ll make a run into town and buy you a brand new six pack tomorrow.” Sam promised before opening his book back up and was back to intensely translating the ancient latin text. You looked to Dean, who was currently biting the inside of his cheek to keep from blowing up. He was too pissed off for this to be solely about the bunkers apparent beer drought; you’d noticed he had been fairly grumpy since he woke up this morning.

You kept your eyes on Dean as he stalked over to pluck his jacket off the chair beside you.

“Screw it I’ll go now, I’m going freakin’ crazy sitting around here.” he huffed, hastily shrugging the jacket on and grabbing the keys to the impala.

“You mind if I come with? My eyes are gonna fry out of my head if I have to read one more word out of this book.” It wasn’t a complete lie, the book really was damn near indecipherable. And as much as you felt bad for leaving Sam researching alone, you wanted to make sure Dean was okay and see if you could cheer him up while you guys were out. Maybe all he needed would be some fresh air or maybe it was something much deeper, you never know with the Winchesters.

Dean looked down at you in slight surprise, the annoyance briefly dissapearing from his face before nodding at you,

“I guess so, you ready to go like that?” his eyes dropped to the thin tanktop and leggings that you’d been lounging in. You looked down at your clothing as well, deciding to go change into something a little warmer.

“Uhh, give me just a second to run and change, I’ll be quick!” you promised, shooting out of your chair and running to your room before Dean could protest.

You quickly pulled on a pair of jeans and one of Deans red flannels, gathering your hair up into a ponytail as you rushed back down the hall in record time.

“I grew a fucking beard standing here waiting for you, lets go.” Dean grumbled. Sam gave you a silent look that you knew meant you got yourself into this. You gave him one back that you hoped he would understand as Fuck off, Sam. By the smile he quickly covered with a cough, you knew he understood.

The 15 minute car ride into town with Dean so far consisted of him quietly tapping along to Stairway to Heaven on the streering wheel, which covered the first eight minutes of the trip, and now a Boston song was starting. You on the other hand, debated whether you should risk Dean biting your head off to lower the music and try to talk to him in this mood he was in, or wait until you got to the store. You sighed again for probably the fifth time this car ride and Dean threw you a sideways glance.

“That’s starting to get annoying.”

“Oh so he speaks!” Throwing your hands up you turned to face him, “You know what’s getting annoying? This attitude you’re in.” you huffed, crossing your arms and turning back to stare at the road.

“Attitude?” he scoffed, “I don’t have an attitude! If anyone has an attitude its you.” he raised his chin.

You threw him a weird look, “Dude, you just said the word ‘attitude’ three times in one sentence. Clearly I am not the problem.” You looked back out the window and thanked the gods that you were finally rolling down main street.

“Oh my god. I’m too sober for this.” he grundled, swinging the car into the first parking spot he saw which - to your growing annoyance - was too far from the store considering the open spots much closer. Now you’d have to awkwardly walk together in silence all the way to the store.

Or not, you thought as you realized Dean was already out of the car and walking away. With a roll of your eyes you pulled yourself out of the car and slammed the door a little harder than necessary just to piss off Dean. You smirked a little to yourself when he stopped in his tracks and turned around just to glare at you. You coldly walked past him with your arms crossed,

“Hurry up Dean, I’m growing a fucking beard waiting for you.” you threw back at him. You smirked again in satifaction at the audible growl heard from the man stalking behind you.

You felt pleased with yourself until you glanced up at Dean, still visibly annoyed, and your heart sank a little. The whole reason why you came with him was to try and cheer him up, not make him even more angry, although he was the one that started it. Still, you decided as you struggled to keep up with his long strides towards to beer section, you would try to be civil and calm him down at the very least.

“Godamn Winchesters and their long legs,” you grumbled, out of breath by the time you caught up to him scanning the shelves. Taking a look around, you realized you needed more wine - it’s what the three of you broke out on the rare occasion that Jody and Donna or company came over for dinner.

Picking up a bottle of red and a bottle of white, you turned to Dean, “Hey Dean? You think we should get this Chardonnay or the Caberet?”

“What do I look like to you a fucking wine connoisseur? Get whatever you want.” he dismissed. You narrow your eyes at him and mimick him to his back. He’s making it real hard to be nice to him. You take another second to think before deciding on both and putting them in the cart thats now loaded with beer.

“I know we just came for beer but theres a few more things we need while were out,” you said, now walking beside him.

“I’m not buying Ikea furniture again.” Dean interrupted. You rolled your eyes at him and garbbed a case of Jack Daniels to put in the cart.

“Not furniture, Dean, I mean groceries-“

“Didn’t you and Sam just go last week and buy all that kale and rabbit shit?” he cuts in again.

“Would you stop interrupting me?” you snap. He shuts his mouth and turns to look at you.

“For fucks sakes Dean, I was gonna pick up some stuff to make you a pie and cheer you up out of whatever this fucking mood you’re in, but fine let’s just go home.” You sigh, taking the cart from him and walking towards the cash.

“Pie? You were gonna make me a pie?” he speeds up a little, trailing close behind you like a little kid.

“Was. I was gonna make you a pie.” you say without looking at him. Suddenly the cart hits something solid and you look up to see Dean blocking your path.

“Look, I’m sorry.” he starts. Here we go, the big apology. You’re convince this is just because he wants pie.

“Being cramped up in the bunker researching all week… I’m going stir crazy. It’s been too quiet and I’ve been itching to go out and kill something you know?” he puts his hands out in a strangling pose.

A lady walking past with her child shoots the two of you a fearful look and ushers her kids the other way quickly, almost making you crack a smile.

“Yea, Dean, noone wants to be researching for a week straight. We’re all tired of it, you’re not the only one!”

“I know, I know, it’s just…” he scratched the back of his neck, distractedly looking around the store.

“It’s just what, Dean?” You were getting impatient with him. Yea it sucks to be stuck in the library all day reading books you couldn’t even understand, but it was something all of you had to suffer through. Not to mention it was mostly you and Sam doing the majority or the work, while Dean would dissapear half the time to work on the impala or do Chuck-knows-what in his room.

“Well, you know… you and Sam are good at it you know? And you two always spend so much time talking about it and other nerdy philosophy shit that I don’t get and I just- I don’t know, I feel like I don’t get to hangout with you as much.” he finishes, looking at you sheepishly.

“Dean,” you say softly, you anger quickly dissipating. “You know I love hanging out with you just as much as Sam. We have our movie nights! And you’re the one that always comes to the bar with me, or takes me to get burgers when I’m craving them at three in the morning. It’s just been a rough week, okay? For all of us.”

He’s smiling now, the first smile you’ve seen him crack all day long.

“I guess you’re right. Thanks (Y/N).” he grins at you, the frowns looking at the cart.

“I don’t think we really need that much whiskey,” he reaches to grab one of the cases and you smack his hand away quickly.

“Did you just hiss at me?”

“Shut up, Dean.”

He looks at you with an amused smile before he grabs the cart and you both begin walking towards the pie section, together this time.

76 notes · View notes

hitchell-mope · 5 years

Text

Just put on the movie

And there we go. The dedication is there.

Oh god the rapping.

My palms will be bloody by the time this is over.

But I like the parallels to the first movie

To much auto tune

There goes my heart Disney.

Oh lord that’s high

Bbys. Smee twins

WHY WASNT DIZZY THERE FROM FILM TWO

There’s my child Celia

MY BOY!!!!

I mean Mal has a point.

He thinks it through

I love him so fucking much

Loving Doug’s hair

Rat bastard. Rat bitch. Rat fairy (Adam belle Verna)

Fuck off leah chad Audrey

😍😍😍😍. This version is better then d1

SUCK IT PASTEL COW

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAY

Oh Evie love. Just tell him you love him

FUCK OFF YOU GERIATRIC BITCH

YES WE WOULD PREFER MAL TO YOU YA BITCH

I hate you Adam and belle

Ben and the other three are adorable family

Still hating Audrey. So. Fucking. Much

Love the purple limo

WHY IS TREMAINE NICE. IT MAKES NO SENSE

Bal parent vibes are strong

They shoulda painted the limo roof purple

Dying of cuteness

Proud fiancé Mal. Love it

Fuck off leah

Here’s papa hades. And the ham.

DRAGON MAL. WHOO HOO

Ah well. Nice while it lasted

NOT HER JOB PASTEL COW

So. Much. Ham.

Poor girl. Ouch.

🤮🤮🤮🤮. I still hate her and her geriatric bitch of a grandmother

Oh bitch please. First words out of your mouth were creel. And it ain’t abated

I’m supposed to be sorry for this sad act? I don’t think so

So. Much. Rapping

Oh. SPARE ME WOMAN

Still theft. Throw her on the isle with her grandmother

Lonely and friendless. Because Mal is so much better then you ya limp noodle

Gotta be bad on the back

YOU DESERVE A SLAP AROUND THE FACE YOU SPOILED BRAT

Seriously though. The actual singing is better then the rapping. So gotta give satah her dues

Fuck off grown ups.

YOU PUT THEN THERE IN THE FIRST FUCKING PLACD

Blue bitch. Just like always belle

Ok. People. You can see it’s hurting bal to do this. KILL THE BEAST

DONT CRY BABY BOY. PLEASE. LAST TIME ALMOST KILLED ME

Murder. The fucking. Parents

Evie. Evie’s sensible. Listen to your sister Mal.

And here comes the guilt. Like always. The narrative blames Mal

That darn cake

Ah. Pain. Hug them now

And jump scare

Oh god. Shut up Audrey. You’re a sore loser

Eh. The prosthesis look ok

Audrey. Nutter. Ben was more then ready to start the honeymoon when Mal was a dragon. Do you really think a hag would stop him?

😂😂😂😂

Oh boy

That’s a lie and you know it bluey.

At least the bikes have an explanation

Why the red for Evie though

And the mutt speaks

Fuck off Chad. I hate you so much

This bitch again

So shrieky.

Kiss ass

Real original

Jump Jane jump!

So many neck cricks

No one tells him anything

Cella’s right Mal

Overly long gag. But cute

Awww 🥰🥰🥰🥰. At least he’s a good dad

Nice reference

And the fear mongering begins.

And here’s the cryptid. He shoulda died in it’s going down

Psycho bitch pirate whore

Cella’s a troll and I love it

The vehicle needs an oil change

At least he’s sleeping. Though that position can not be comfortable

At long last the reveal.

He’s funny. And hot. (I can see where @mochacake2016 is coming from)

We know! We know

And here’s the music

😂😂😂😂.

He’s got a point

Ok.

THERES NO PHONES ON THE ISLAND QUEEN MAL

She actually sounds like jade west here

So far. Besides the proposal. This is my favourite song. Mostly for Hades great looks. Great voice

And the tambourine

Would be better with purple and blue fire effects. But no. We can’t have nice things. They spent the budget on pirate whores make up

She’s got a point. They both do

LISTEN TO HIM

Proud papa

C’mon girl. Cry

Of course she told her sister

He’s a good king.

T-shirt should be ripped.

🤮🤮🤮🤮. Hate her so much

And. Here. We. Go.

Benny. I love you. But did you not hear what she said to Evie when you first met the vks. Of course not. You were lost in Mal’s eyes.

Oh god. PLEASE SOMEBODY GO AND MELT HER

Whore man is probably skunk drunk. Gil’s cute as ever though

Throw hook in the water. And keep it there.

🎶she’s back🎶

And there screwed

He makes feel physically sick

Uma. I love ya. But honestly. Mal owes no one anything. It’s not her job.

No it ain’t

Jay’s got a point

Oh honey

Hook. In the words of the irreverent Captain Jack Sparrow “if the bikes be crashed properly. You be crashed along with it”. Not you Gil. I like you

Mother hen strikes again. Uma ain’t buying what she’s selling

Pure child Celia. (I don’t use this very much but) Gil’s babey (it feels wrong to type£

Chicken arms. No brains. No wit. No dance skills. No rapping skills. Ya basically a walking corpse hook

The dogs giving me a nervous twitch.

I hate the pair of them so no. No sympathy for prince douche bag

Gil makes me cry so simply

Stab the pirate jay. Please. For all of us

Psycho bitch

I want. It. Dead. Brutally. Dead

And more music. If this weren’t Disney they coulda melted them yo pukes of goo and pour it down Harry’s throat.

Oh god

So she can’t count either. Just like her brother

Definitely cha cha slide.

Deep sigh

So much ham.

Here’s a funny idea. How about instead of a bloody pantomime. ACTUALLY FUCKING FIGHT YOU FECKERS

Synchronised armour dancing. That’s new

Oh for fuck sake

Ha ha. Save it for the sob story bitch

What’s next a kick line

Thank god I was wrong.

Hook should be suffocated under the armour right now. Put us out of our misery

Care bear alert

I had to have a flu jab today. And it weren’t as painful as every single nanosecond hooks on screen

Love the platonic affection (I hate the very concept of malvie. What did you expect?)

Mother alert

Don’t eat wild fruit honey

So cute. But so dumb

Oh. Phineas and Ferb reference

Awww babies.

Don’t you dare tell me Mal doesn’t care.

THEY FOUND DOUG

Uma’s so done with care bear bs

More singing. Yay(!)

Please. Remind me again exactly why this is a DCOM. Cause it honestly does not feel like it what with the backstory pirate whores entire existence and the choreography

How has evie not broken a leg in this number.

Believe me Mal and Uma. I feel your frustration they go together like peanut butter and chocolate spread. (Perfectly if you didn’t know)

Where is she going?

She knows how R&J ended right? Double suicide. Why the romanticism huh?

HE IS NOT A RAG DOLL! Though props to Zachary for not corpsing

How can you hate Doug. He’s adorable. Best straight couple ever

There’s ma boy. Rip Harry’s throyatvout plwae.

Ben’s always been hot. But this is definitely working for me.

Awww. Carlos helping his papa

Wet Ben. Yum

Awww. Janelos cuteness.

Love the beard. So good. 🤤🤤🤤🤤

Someone murder the man whore before I do.

He makes me wanna throw up. And I’m not physically capable of doing that

@rpsocsandcanonohmy. I get where you’re coming from. But I also get where Ben is coming from. Sunbeam did get him abducted. And man slut tried to feed him to sharks. So I do understand both points. Doesn’t mean you’re wrong though

JUST. EXPLAIN. HIS MIND IS BEAST ADDLED

Shoulda let Ben slash hooks throat jay. You’re slipping buddy

Mal’s eating crow

Hopefully he chad suffocates. Then she’s have done one thing that wasn’t completely worthlessly reprehensible

🎶feelings🎶

And it had to ruin it

Te-am work. As plankton says

Proud sister

Boys are back. (With dude and the mutt in tow)

YAAAAAAAAAY

I hate happy harry. But I do like happy Uma. Eh. Double edged sword

BAL THIRST. FINALLY

Shoulda gone with Janelos. Jarlos is from big time rush

Oh they’re so cute

Poor Doug.

DOUG AND GIL FRIENDSHIP.

So. Update. Might be like Mal. (Definitely loving Ben’s facial hair)

Yawning over chad. So pathetic

Her seat from him douchey mcuseless

Poor Janey

Cats outta the bag

Once again. I kinda understand all points. Yeah Mal shouldn’t have lied. But Uma didn’t really give her and choice. And Evie just kinda assumed. And no one really lets her explain anything.

Hooks still pathetic. Even hurt emotionally I still wanna punch his roger rabbit looking face (Sorry Roger)

Oh dear

Mal. Don’t apologise. You did what you felt you needed to do. And no gives you a chance to explain. Ever.

Yes. You needed to do what you could.

Excellent acting all around as usual

Evie. Look. I love you. Your favourite number seven. But WHY IS IT YOUR SISTERS JOB. WHY DOES EVERYONE MAKE IT MALS PROBLEM

Ha! Evie said it. She said family.

Oh fuck. Taken for granite

More singing.

Monster/story/invincible

I do want to stab Harry in the mouth with the hook

More flashback. Yay(.). Couldn’t they fill out the runtime

Flashbacks. TO THE START OF THE SO G THE FLASHBACK IS FROM. OH FOR FUCK SAKES

More dragon.

Audrey’s performance might make me a vegetarian

How is it not crushed by the claws?

Fire should be green

Yay. Auds dead. Please say yes?

The twins say literally one thing

From magical incantation to vaguely irritating verbal tick. Well alright then

Evie. Why do you sound so sad. It’s a good thing Audrey’s dying. The ultimate price and all that. You should be glad. It’s a good thing

Mal: he’s my father. Ben: shocked face. Me: makes a sound like a boiling kettle

Bye bye facial hair

Die slut

More eating crow

The in laws meet

Exactly hades. Exactly. Knee beast in the dick

God Ben’s so hot.

Bite Adam’s throat out please hades

Should’ve let Audrey waste away. And sent granny to Tartarus to meet her

OH SPARE ME YOUR BLEEDING HEART ROUTINE! I still hate you in a fundamental level

OH FINALLY YOU GERIATRIC BITCH

Nice little family moment

What the fuck is Evie’s dress?

Queen Mal has a very nice ring to it.

Sure you can. You owe them noting. You owe nobody anything

Jay has a pull back braid in his hair. Yay!

“Audrey would be gone”. You say it as though that’s a bad thing

“Insert woody woodpecker laugh”. Fuck you Adam

Compromise. Bring the vks over. And plop Adam Audrey chad anleah on the isle. Sink it into the ocean

Why didn’t Verna bring the barrier down. Oh yeah. Cause then she’d be useful

More singing

At least this takes place in daylight

I still hate harry

Push Harry in the drink please. IM LITERALLY BEGGING YOU

God I love Ben and Doug

Why the Charleston?

I still hate tremaine

Well. Jane. In ZM. You met Mal. She’s Carlos’s mother in this au

Giljay. It’s cute

So Harry makes me ill right upbto the end. Now he’s related to purple and blue

🎶a bitch is in the dog house🎶. And deservedly so

🤮🤮🤮🤮

Sweet little king

Oh boy

Whore has a turkey neck

This is the end. Good movie. With some unneeded bits. I’m gonna change a lot in ZM part three. And both dedications broke me.

#disney descendants #descendants 3 #anti harry x chad #anti harry x doug #anti harry x jane #harry x jay #anti harlos #anti malvie #anti haudrey #anti benrry #anti harry hook #anti audrey daughter of sleeping beauty #anti chad charming

19 notes · View notes

jamesbucksiclebarnes · 5 years

Photo

Rating: Mature - Language, Violence, Mentions of Child Abuse

Chapter List: [1] | [2] | [3] | [4] | [5]

[AO3 Link] | [Fic Page]

SERIES SUMMARY:

"Not human. She was not human. They all knew it. Could almost feel it, but couldn't make sense of it. That was why they were afraid. Not because of what she used to be Before. But because of what she was now."

Having found herself serving as the right-hand to the Governor for too long, Synnove le Jacques does her best to make things right with the people of the Prison. Stuck beside her partner in crime, her irritatingly obnoxious and hideously problematic best friend, Merle, she does her best to fight back against the monster she has let the Governor become.

CHAPTER TITLE: The Water of Kinship

As Merle opened his mouth to yell out “three”, a quick series of cracks echoed through the air around us. Gunfire blasted through the shattered windows of the rundown warehouse, causing the crowd to scatter in panic.

Quickly, while the other two were somewhat stunned, I unhooked my chain from around Daryl’s throat and grabbed his arm. I could see the bright light flashing along to the sound of gunfire to our left and began to drag the man towards it. Merle, thankfully, snapped out of his shock quick enough to follow.

Martinez spotted us. Our gazes met for a fraction of a second before he stepped to the side, pretending to take cover from the bullets ricocheting off the metal support beams, allowing us to pass. The three of us made it out through the large entryway, where a group of people I didn’t recognise were waiting, partially hidden behind the scattered rubbish left out in the open area outside the warehouse.

“Daryl,” the closest one called. It was a man wearing a dirty flannel shirt and loose jeans, a light beard brushed across his sharp jawline. “Let’s go.”

We began to follow him when he turned and thrust an accusatory finger in Merle’s face. “You’re not going anywhere with us.”

“You really want to do this now? Come on, man.” Merle whined, gesturing for him to get a move on.

Neither man moved for a few moments before Daryl interjected. “Rick, come on.”

“We’ve got to go,” Merle insisted, glancing over his shoulder at the chaos inside the warehouse. We both knew it wouldn’t last much longer.

“Then go,” Rick growled.

Merle looked to his brother. “A little help would be nice.”

“We ain’t got time for this,” Daryl grumbled.

I spotted Maggie, coming out from behind the edge of the building with a rifle. She began to lead us toward the eastern wall, where I’d told her the easiest escape route was earlier that night.

Merle and I followed behind his brother, ignoring the scathing look from the one named “Rick” as we went.

We managed to escape rather easily, only having to clear a few biters that must have managed to slide in through the loose panel from our path. In the rush, I didn’t even think to close the panel behind us. If I paused for too long, it wasn’t as if these people would wait for me. I had to keep up of my own volition or risk leaving Merle along with them. And, honestly, I didn’t even know who would get the worst end of that situation. Them or Merle himself.

Once we were home free, the five of us made our way through the dense trees until the cool light of dawn broke over the forest. I spotted the silver car in the distance a few moments before Rick called out, “Glenn!”

“Rick?” a familiar voice responded. Glenn stepped out from behind the vehicle, parked along the side of the road. “Thank God.”

Another figure appeared beside him. It was Michonne. The two of them began to jog through the thin collection of trees towards us.

Rick lifted his hands and suddenly increased his speed, trying to reach the two of them before they spotted us. “Now, we got a problem here. I need you to back up.”

He spoke in that calming yet equally condescending voice most police officers had down to an artform and gestured for Glenn and Michonne to return to their place behind the car. It was an attempt made in vein. The moment Glenn’s blackened eye slid across to where Merle and I were approaching, his face contorted into pure rage. Beside him, Michonne took a confident step forward and lifted her sword.

“What the hell is he doing here?” Glenn demanded; eyes locked on the man by my side. Maggie ran to him, turning to face us as she lifted her own gun at Merle just as Rick lifted his gun to point it at Michonne.

Daryl stepped in front of Merle and I, lifting a hand in defence.

“Hey, hey! Put it down!” Rick ordered Michonne, just as Merle and I lifted our hands in surrender.

“He tried to kill me!” Michonne yelled in response.

“If it wasn’t for him –“ Glenn began, but Daryl cut him off.

“He helped us get out of there,” he tried to argue. “They both did.”

“Yeah, right after they beat the shit out of you,” Rick snapped from beside him.

“Hey, we all took our licks, man,” Merle argued, gesturing between Daryl and I.

I just stayed silent, my chained hands lifted as I looked between everybody with raised brows. The last thing I wanted to do was get in the middle of this absolute clusterfuck of pointed weaponry.

“Jackass,” Daryl hissed toward his brother.

Merle began to move forward. “Hey, shut your mouth!”

Rick turned toward him just as Michonne began to step past him, her sword raised higher. He quickly turned back, gun pointed at her head as he demanded authoritatively, “Put that down now!”

Glenn still had his gun raised, pointed toward Merle until Daryl whirled around and stood clearer between them.

“Get that damn thing outta my face,” the younger Dixon yelled.

That made Merle chuckle. “Damn. You gone all native, brother.”

Daryl turned on him, gripping the strap of his crossbow in one hand and gesturing back towards the way we’d come with the other. “No more than you hangin’ out with that psycho back there.”

“Oh, yeah, man,” Merle deadpanned. “He’s a real charmer, I gotta tell you that. Hey, Jacques?”

I looked at him with wide eyes, my hands still raised. “Oh, I am not even remotely getting involved in this.”

Merle scoffed before turning and catching Michonne’s gaze. “Been putting the wood to your girlfriend, Andrea,” the old man sneered as he began approaching her. “Big time, baby.”

I grabbed him by the back of his shirt and yanked him backwards before either Rick or Michonne could shove their respective weapons into his eye socket.

“Andrea’s in Woodbury?” Glenn asked, glancing between everyone, finally having lowered his gun.

“Right next to the Governor,” Daryl answered, sounding none too pleased about it.

Michonne took a step toward the younger Dixon, gradually lifting her blade in defence of her friend, when Rick whirled on her.

“I told you to drop that,” he snapped.

She took a step back.

“You know Andrea?” Rick asked her, taking a step towards her. She glanced between Merle and I, clenching her teeth as the man before her continued to press. “Hey, do you know Andrea?”

Merle interrupted before she could even make an attempt to answer. “Yep, she does,” he said, turning to me and giving me a light jab with his elbow. “Don’t she?”

“Stop bringing me into this,” I answered with a slight shake of my head.

“Seriously?” Merle grunted in exasperation before turning back to face Rick and throwing his hand in the general direction of Michonne. “Her and blondie were cuddled up all winter out in the forest. Mmm-mmm.” He gave her a sickening grin.

I rolled my eyes for good measure.

“My Nubian queen here had two pet biters,” Merle continued. “No arms, cut off the jaws. Kept ‘em in chains.” He let out a curt chuckle and glanced at me. “Kind of ironic now that I think about it, isn’t it?”

I just shook my head at him with a pointed look. Stop bringing attention to me, jackass.

“Shut up, bro,” Daryl growled, spinning to face us.

“Hey man. Jacques here snagged ‘em out of the woods,” Merle remarked, turning to look at Rick whilst throwing this good hand in my direction.

I swear to God, Merle.

“Spotted ‘em spying with those keen eyes of hers. Got you both before you even knew she was there, didn’t she?” he asked, directing that one at Michonne, who looked across to me with a neutral expression.

She, thankfully, didn’t answer. At least someone understood why I might not want that kind of attention.

“Lucky for them, too,” Merle continued. “Andrea was close to dying.”

“Is that why she’s with him?” Maggie asked, looking at Michonne.

Merle nodded, again interjecting before anyone else could answer. “Yeah,” he said with a smirk. “Snug as two little bugs.”

The group shared a few looks before Merle stepped up to Rick, sneering that infuriating sneer of his.

“So, what you gonna do now, Sheriff? Huh? Surrounded by a bunch of liars, thugs, and cowards.”

“Shut up!” Rick snapped, barely even glancing at him. His focus was too heavily on Michonne.

“Oh, man. Look at this.” Merle shook his head as he looked this Rick guy up and down. “Pathetic. All these guns and no bullets in ‘em.”

“Merle, shut up,” both Daryl and I yelled at the same time.

Merle whirled on me. “Shut up yourself! So much for stayin’ out of it!”

He began to wave that stupid metal appendage in my face, and I reached up to grab it with both my chained hands, ducking beneath it and stepping around him to pull it taut behind his back. A hoarse yell of pain escaped him as he fell to his knees and I bent down slightly to speak directly into his ear.

“You need to stop talking, you fucking moron,” I growled.

He tried to turn back to face me, but my grip on his arm made him hiss out a curse, forcing him to remain with his back to me. Still, that didn’t seem to stop him from continuing his idiotic rant. “You callin’ me a damn moron? What about them, huh? Bunch of fuckin’ pussies don’t know jack shit about –“

I pulled his arm tighter. “Shut. Up.”

Merle stuttered to a stop, partially from the pain and partially because I’d used my Don’t-Fucking-Push-It voice.

With a sigh, I turned to look up at Rick. Some kind of animal instinct inside me was telling me he was the alpha of this group, that he’d be the one to plead sense to. The man was looking down at me with a mixture of agitated suspicion and curiosity.

“Look, I’ll keep him here and I’ll keep him quiet. Why don’t you guys sort this out amongst yourselves?” I suggested, jerking my head towards the car parked by the road a few metres away. “Us standing here, putting in our two cents every second word is just going to make it harder for everyone to discuss it calmly.”

Merle’s body jerked slightly, as if he were about to open his mouth to argue. Again, I pulled his arm. Besides the torrent of curses and insults growled at my expense, he kept his opinion on my suggestion to himself.

Rick watched me closely for a moment. His expression was hard, gaze searching, as if he were trying to understand the angle I was playing at. I met his eyes evenly, keeping my own expression neutral, waiting for him to finish surveying me.

It took a tense moment, but he finally let out a huff and nodded, turning and gesturing for everyone to make their way over to the car.

Daryl waited an extra moment; his gaze going from his brother’s pained face and back up to mine. It seemed to take him twice as long to make up his mind about whether or not he trusted me enough to keep his brother on a leash.

“Trust me,” I said. “I’ve got him.”

Merle hissed out another curse.

Daryl muttered a soft, “Asshole,” toward his brother before giving me an appreciative nod and trailing off after Rick.

Once they were far enough away, I let Merle’s arm go and he rose to his feet, whirling on me with a feral scowl.

“The hell was that for?” he hissed.

I glared up at him. “You were acting like a fucking dick. You know that, right?”

He opened his mouth to snap what was likely some long-winded insult, but I lifted my hand to cut him off. The group were back at the car now, far enough away to give the illusion of privacy. A regular human wouldn’t be able to make out the sounds of their voices from where Merle and I stood. But I wasn’t human – not even a little – and I could hear every word.

“They’re talking,” I whispered to Merle, bidding him to keep his mouth closed.

His eyes grew wide for a second before the realisation dawned on him. “You listenin’ with them big ole ears o’ yours?”

I gave him a side-eye and lifted one hand to protectively touch the tip of my pointed ear. “Leave my ears alone, asshole. And shut up. If you want to know what they’re saying, I need quiet.”

Merle let out a huffing breath through his nose before crossing his arms over his chest and leaning back against a nearby tree.

“The Governor’s probably on the way to the prison right now,” I heard Daryl say, his voice barely above a whisper. “Merle and the girl, they know how he thinks. She was the guy’s damn right-hand. Besides. We could use the muscle.”

“I’m not having him at the prison,” Rick hissed in response. “Do you really want him sleeping in the same cellblock as Carol or Beth?”

“He ain’t a rapist,” Daryl snapped.

“Well, his buddy is,” interjected another voice. Glenn.

I cringed at the memory, feeling my skin begin to crawl.

“If it weren’t for that girl,” Glenn continued, voice low, “I don’t want to think about what would have happened.”

Maggie’s voice was soft as she spoke. “She stopped him.”

Rick went silent for a moment. “So you want them to stay?”

“We owe her,” Glenn responded evenly. “Not him.”

“We can’t take one and not the other,” Rick answered. “Not when they were both buddy-ing up with the Governor.”

“They ain’t buddies no more,” Daryl put in. “Not after what happened last night.”

“There is no way Merle’s gonna live at the prison without putting everyone at each other’s throats,” Rick cautiously explained. I could tell he was trying to deescalate Daryl’s rising temper. “And I don’t know anything about that girl except that she’s close with your brother, which doesn’t exactly make her look good.”

“Ouch,” I whispered to myself.

Merle’s attention peaked. “What? What they sayin’?”

“Shut up. Let me listen.”

He huffed once again, though thankfully remained silent as I closed my eyes to focus.

“So, what? You’re gonna cut Merle and the girl loose but bring the Last Samurai home with us?” Daryl let out a curt, humourless laugh.

“She’s not coming back.” Rick’s voice was clear and concise. He’d made up his mind about that long ago and it showed in his stern tone.

“She’s not in a state to be on her own,” Glenn said softly.

“She did bring you guys to us,” Maggie tried to argue.

“And then ditched us,” Daryl snapped.

“At least let my dad stich her up,” she simply added, pleading but not too desperate.

“She’s too unpredictable,” Rick answered.

“That’s right,” Daryl huffed. “We don’t know who she is, but Merle? Merle’s blood.”

“No,” Rick sighed. “Merle’s your blood. My blood, my family, is standing right here and waiting for us back at the prison. And you’re part of that family.”

“But he’s not,” Daryl guessed. His voice sounded close to breaking, as if he were growing desperate to make them understand.

“He’s not.”

There was a stretch of silence before I heard the sounds of boots upon the asphalt and Daryl’s gruff voice. “Man, ya’ll don’t know. Fine. We’ll fend for ourselves.”

The sound of a car trunk opening made me open my eyes and I looked up the slight hill, up to where they were still gathered on the road. Merle did the same.

“The hell’s –“

“Shut up,” I hissed for the third goddamn time, watching and listening as Daryl pulled a backpack from the trunk of the silver car.

Oh, no. Don’t do it.

“That’s not what I’m saying,” Rick tried to explain, but Daryl cut him off, slinging the backpack over his shoulder.

“No him, no me.”

“Daryl,” Rick sighed. “You don’t have to do that.”

No, he didn’t. And he shouldn’t. I’d barely known these people for more than a handful of hours, but I could tell they cared about that man more than he’d likely been cared for ever before. It wasn’t right, pulling him away from them like this. I wanted to yell at Merle to say something, to tell his brother to stay behind, though I knew that would have been pointless. Merle did what best suited Merle and no amount of scathing glares or threats of violence would ever change that.

“It was always me and Merle before this,” Daryl stated simply.

A simple, desperate, “Don’t,” escaped Rick in a harsh breath.

I frowned as Merle pushed himself off the tree and stood by my side, watching the unfolding situation with barely restrained glee.

“What’re they sayin’?”

“Daryl’s leaving,” I answered, making sure my tone suggested my disagreement with the idea.

Merle glanced down at me with a grin. “For real?”

“That isn’t a good thing.”

“The hell it ain’t! That’s my baby bro!”

I turned and smacked him hard on the shoulder, forgetting for a moment that my hands were bound together. My opposite hand almost smacked me in the face as it was pulled along, which made Merle bark out a laugh and effectively ruined my violent attempt to get him to see sense.

“Come on, bro!” Merle called out to Daryl just as Rick called out his name.

Daryl ignored the sheriff, stepping off the edge of the asphalt and into the forest. He kept walking, shoulders hunched as the others called out to him, all but begging him not to go. I bit my lower lip, watching Rick staring at Daryl’s back as he got walked further and further into the trees. As soon as he was in reach, Merle clapped an arm around his shoulder and barked out a triumphant laugh.

“That’s my boy,” he cheered.

Daryl kept his head down for a few more steps before looking up, his gaze catching mine for a fraction of a second. That was all the time I needed to see the damage his decision had caused within him. It had almost killed him to tear himself away from Rick and the others, I could see it.

He looked away before I could give him a reassuring, somewhat sad smile, and allowed himself to be led away by Merle.

“Comin’, sweetheart?” the older Dixon called over his shoulder as they began to make their way deeper into the forest.

I spared one glance up towards Rick and the others, who were still standing by the edge of the asphalt, watching Daryl disappearing into the trees. Rick’s eyes met mine, crystalline blue and rimmed in red. I gave him an apologetic smile before turning to follow Merle into the forest.

####

“There ain’t nothing out here but mosquitos and ants.”

Daryl adjusted his hold on the crossbow as he twisted partially around to look at Merle. I trailed behind, trying to keep the jangling chains clasped in my palms in order to avoid the deafening sound. It wasn’t exactly working.

“Patience, little brother,” Merle mused. “Sooner or later, a squirrel is bound to scurry across your path.”

“Never seen a squirrel in person,” I remarked without thinking.

Both Merle and Daryl stopped and turned to look at me.

I brought myself to a halt and returned their shocked gazes with a cocked brow. “What?”

“How long you lived here?” Merle asked.

“Couple of years,” I answered.

“And you ain’t never –“

“Not once,” I interrupted. “Seen a possum. Seen a raccoon. Never seen a squirrel.”

“Well, fuck me sideways and call me Eileen.” Merle laughed. “We gon’ find ourselves a furry little friend for ya.”

I snorted with a shake of my head before lifting my bound hands up to eye level. “You really think one’s gonna come anywhere near this racket?” I asked, shaking the chains for emphasis. I was just glad I’d worn my leather jacket that night, which had so far served as a barrier between my skin and the metal.

Daryl cringed at the sound.

“Fair point,” Merle agreed.

A slow grin began to form on my face. “You know… If you were any kind of gentleman, Merle, my dear…” I had to bite back a laugh as I looked him square in the eye and said, “You’d give me a hand getting these off.”

It took a second before the joke actually registered, but I could tell the moment it did. His slightly confused expression suddenly smoothed out into pure unamusement whilst my resolve to hold back the laugher bubbling in the base of my throat began to crack.

When my gaze slid across to Daryl, at the slightest of twitches pulling at the corner of his mouth, I lost it.

Merle grumbled out a, “I hate you,” before turning heel and continuing through the forest.

“Ah,” I breathed, sobering slowly. “Never gets old.”

After flashing Daryl a wide grin from which he quickly averted his gaze, I began to trudge after Merle, holding my chained hands to my chest as I walked in order to avoid the incessant jingling.

Daryl followed behind, slinging his crossbow back over his shoulder. “We’d have better luck going through one of them houses we passed on the turnoff?” he yelled over me to his brother.

Merle glanced over his shoulder at him with a hoarse laugh. “Is that what your new friends taught you? Hmm? How to loot for booty?”

“We’ve been at it for hours,” Daryl argued. “Why don’t we find a stream, look for some fish?”

Merle snorted. “I think you’re just tryin’ to get lead me back to the road, man. Get me over to that prison.”

The distant, tell-tale sound of nearby biters began to filter through the air, drifting from somewhere to our north-east. I said nothing, as neither man had noticed the sound as of yet, and it was far enough away not to be of much concern.

“They got shelter,” Daryl pointed out, using a nearby tree trunk to support himself as he climbed over a fallen branch. “Food. A pot to piss in.”

“I’d be inclined to agree with you,” I put in, turning partially to face him. “If it weren’t for the fact your sheriff friend would just as soon shoot your brother in the face than shake his hand.”

“I heard that!” Merle growled from a few feet in front of us.

I lifted my hands, biting back a grin. “That one was unintentional, I swear.”

He just scoffed something that sounded a lot like the word “bitch” before continuing on.

Daryl moved past me, stepping through the dense forest floor without barely stepping on a crunching leaf let alone a stray stick. His footfalls were almost naturally silent, something which I found myself admiring. I knew he and Merle had learnt to hunt at a young age, but even Merle made a misstep more often than not. Daryl moved almost flawlessly through the woods. He could have been one of my kind, it seemed to come so easily for him.

“Look, it might not be that bad an idea!” he called to his brother.

“For you, maybe,” Merle responded. “But Jacques is right. Ain’t gonna be no damn party for me.”

“Everyone will get used to each other.”

I could tell Daryl was growing almost desperate. He had almost instantly regretted his decision to join his brother, moved more by the idea of family than the reality of what he had already had. My heart bled for the guy.

The sound of those biters was growing louder yet remained far enough that neither Dixon brother could hear them over the sounds of their own voices.

“They’re all dead,” Merle remarked, barely a shred of remorse in his voice.

“Merle,” I hissed. “You don’t know that.”

“You and I both know the Governor’s probably hosting a housewarming party where he’s gonna bury what’s left of Officer Friendly and the rest of ‘em,” Merle responded.

I didn’t know that. What I did know was that the Governor wouldn’t let what they had done just slide by. He’d retaliate. The only problem with that was now he no longer had me or Merle. We had always been an integral part of his planning and execution, but now? Half out of his mind, ruled by vengeance and ego? Even I didn’t know what he was capable of anymore.

Daryl, having decided he was done with this conversation, continued past where Merle had come to a stop, barely giving us a passing glance over his shoulder as he called out, “Let’s hook some damn fish.”

#####

“Smells to me like Sawhatchee Creek.”

“We didn’t go far enough west. There’s a river down there. Gotta be the Yellow Jacket.”

“You have a stroke, boy?” Merle coughed a laugh. “We ain’t never even come close to Yellow Jacket.”

My God. Did they ever stop bickering?

Daryl pulled the strap of his crossbow tight across his broad chest as he looked down the slight hill at his brother. “We didn’t go west.”

He was right about that. The non-stop gurgling moans coming from the biters in the distance had remained at a somewhat constant volume, drifting further from the east now than it had been from the north. We’d remained on a near straight line since we’d committed to the plan of catching some fish. A plan I desperately wished would hurry up and come to fruition. I was growing irritable with hunger at this point.

“Just a little bit south,” Daryl continued, waving a hand to the east. “That’s what I think.”

“You know what I think?” Merle asked, lifting up his metallic arm. “I may have lost a hand, but you lost your sense of direction.”

“And maybe you’ve both lost the one brain cell you shared between you,” I added in with a grin.

They both looked at me with almost matching blank expressions.

“Yeah,” Daryl murmured. “We’ll see.” And with that, he turned back toward the direction he’d been heading. Towards the sound of biters in the distance.

I begrudgingly began to follow with Merle close on my heals.

“You want a bet, little brother?”

I opened my mouth to put in my own bet, siding with Daryl as I could already hear the sounds of rushing water nearby, but the younger Dixon brother beat me to it.

“I don’t wanna bet nothin’,” Daryl responded. He had begun marching faster, his footfalls no longer falling silently through the underbrush. “It’s just a body of water. Why’s everything gotta be a damn competition with you?”

I sensed the drop seconds before Daryl’s foot went over the edge. As fast as I could move, I leapt across the empty space between us and latched onto his upper arm with both hands. Anchored by my grip, he managed to regain his footing, balancing at the edge of a sharp drop off. The rapid water of the river below struck the sharp rocks at the edge of the bank with enough force that I felt a droplet hit the exposed skin of my cheek.

Daryl’s gaze fixed upon those rocks for a moment as he let out a shaky breath before turning to look at me. The moment he realised how close we stood, he swallowed and cleared his throat, muttering a “thank you” before stepping away.

Merle let out a whistle. “Nice catch, darlin’.”

I gave him a side-long look, cocking a brow and opening my mouth to make what would have been a rather unfriendly comment when a new sound suddenly filtered through the biter’s moans. My head jerked to the side, to the east and I strained my ears, trying to discern the reality of what I had originally thought the sound had been.

Merle knew the look, knew what it meant when I went suddenly still and silent. He, for the first time in hours, finally kept his mouth shut.

There it was again. The sound. Piercing through the air, cutting through me like a knife.

“Do you hear that?” I asked, despite knowing full well they likely did not. It was almost as if the shock of hearing such a sound in the middle of nowhere had rendered me moronic.

Merle snorted. “You know we don’t. What is it?”

I let out a long breath before turning partially to look at him, my brows furrowed in a deep frown. “It’s a baby.”

“What?” Daryl asked. “The hell you talkin’ about?”

I didn’t answer. My feet began moving before I could stop them, pulling me toward the sound of cries, through the forest. Merle spat out a curse before following, grabbing his brother and dragging him along. Before long, we’d followed the riverbank far enough that the bridge had come into view.

Merle called out for me to stop. “What the hell you doin’, Jacques?”

I slowed to a halt and turned to him, gesturing towards the bridge. “Baby.”

“Oh, come on,” he coughed. “Why don’t you piss in my ear and tell me it’s raining, too?”

“Listen, you prick,” I snapped. The sound was loud enough now that their ears should be able to pick it up.

Merle just stared at me and shook his head. “That there? That’s the sound of a couple of coons making love, sweet love.”

I looked him dead in the eye as I said, “One of these days I might just take off that other hand to gag you with it.”

“I hear it,” Daryl breathed suddenly, taking a step forwards and away from his menace of a brother. “It’s a damn baby.”

The poor guy sounded almost as confused as he was shocked, his bright, narrow eyes falling to me with what I could only assume was suspicion. Like I’d somehow planted the baby or knew it would be there.

His brother had reacted much the same way when I’d first let on that my ears were much sharper than the average human. At one point, I remember him actually calling me a witch. A fucking witch.

Southerners.

I didn’t wait for the flow of questions, nor did I just stand there beneath his suspicious glare. Without another moment of pause, I took off towards the nearby road. Daryl followed behind me with little hesitation. Neither of us waited for Merle.

We arrived at the edge of the forest where the trees gave way to road and burst out into the open. To our right, the asphalt gave way to the cracked concrete foundation of the bridge, upon which sat a red car, surrounded by biters. There was a man standing atop the roof, swinging a rusted machete in a fevered rhythm, trying to clear the surrounding area of biters.

I could hear the baby crying from inside the car, now met with the sounds of a woman’s frightened sobs.

Both Daryl and I looked at one another, no doubt thinking the same thing. We began to run towards the car just as Merle broke through the tree line behind us with an irritated gruff.

“Oh, come on!”

We ignored him.

The man atop the car spotted us coming as Daryl pulled his crossbow from his shoulder and took a shot at the biter closest to the man’s overhanging boot. It dropped instantly, the arrow piercing through its skull as easy as a knife through butter.

It didn’t occur to me until I was close enough to reach the biters that I did not in fact have a weapon. I was going to have to go all old school on this one.

Daryl began reloading his crossbow, pausing mid-approach and enabling me to overtake him. Without slowing, I charged forwards and leapt, planting a solid fly-kick into the closest biter’s ugly, rotting face. It careened backwards, knocking two of its pals down as it toppled. I slammed my booted foot down on its face, crushing its weakened skull beneath my sole. Another biter dropped beside me, curtesy of Daryl’s arrow.

The man above us was calling for help in both Spanish and English.

As I slammed my foot down on one of the other fallen biters, I felt Merle blow past me. He marched through the biters, thrusting the pointed end of his haphazardly designed metal hand through two of their heads before leaning down to inspect the inside of the car.

A biter behind me was getting uncomfortably close, forcing me to take my eye off Merle for a fraction of a second to dodge the rotting, outstretched hands. I stepped behind the undead creature and threw my hands over its head, catching its throat with the chain. Pulling the biter back, I waited until I felt the pressure of cold concrete on my back before turning. I yanked my chain to the side and watched as the biter tumbled over the crumbling railing of the bridge and into the rapid waters below.

At this point, I could hear a commotion much different than that of an ordinary biter attack and turned back to see Merle making a nuisance of himself by the driver’s side door. The woman inside was screaming for him to get out, as was the man, who had now leapt down onto the concrete foundation of the bridge. He didn’t seem to feel confident enough to make a move on Merle, not with Daryl standing so close, a freshly notched arrow resting atop his crossbow, but he was yelling in both Spanish and English that he would kill him if he touched his wife.

Merle chuckled as he began rifling through their possessions. “That ain’t no way to say thank you,” he remarked.

The baby was absolutely screaming at this point. My heart tightened in my chest.

“Get away from my car!” the man yelled, the grip on his bloodied machete growing so tight his knuckles were turning white. “We don’t have anything!”

Again, Merle ignored the man. “Least you could do was give us an enchilada or something, huh? Easy does it, señorita. Everything’s gonna be fine.”

I took a step forwards, intent on stopping him, though I needn’t have bothered.

Moments before I could grab Merle by the strap of his dirty wifebeater, his brother turned his crossbow and pointed it at his exposed back.

“Get out of the car,” he growled.

Merle went still, turning his head slightly to the side. “I know you ain’t talking to me, brother.”

Daryl turned his gaze to the man standing by the car’s bonnet and jerked his head toward the driver’s side door. “Get in your car and get the hell out of here.”

Merle still hadn’t moved. I stepped forward and followed through on my plan to grab the moron by the strap of his shirt, yanking him backwards and away from the open door.

He yelled out a curse, swinging his arm to free himself from my grip. “The hell, woman?”

Daryl kept the crossbow pointed at his brother, though his gaze remained on the Hispanic man behind him. “Get in the car! Go, go! Move it!”

The man did as he was instructed, giving Merle a mighty fierce glare as he walked past him, climbing into the open driver’s side door and slamming it closed.

Neither of us spoke until the car had taken off down the road, after which Merle turned the full force of his anger onto his brother. “The shit you doing, pointing that thing at me?” he snapped, stepping forward and swatting the crossbow.

Daryl let it fall to his side. “They were scared, man.”

Merle snorted. “Rude it what they were. They owed us a token of gratitude.”

“They didn’t owe us shit, jackass,” I hissed, the same time Daryl remarked, “They didn’t owe us anything.”

Merle looked between us with wide, disbelieving eyes, gesturing at us with his good hand in frustration. “The hell is this, huh? You two helpin’ people out of the goodness of your hearts, now?” His bright gaze landed on me. “You? Little Miss McMurder, helping out the good people of Georgia?” An incredulous snort escaped him before he turned his attention back to his brother. “And you? Helpin’ people even though you might die? That something your pal Sheriff Rick teach you?”

“There was a baby!” Daryl yelled, throwing up his empty hand in exasperation.

“Oh, otherwise you would’a left ‘em to the biters, then?” Merle asked sarcastically, shaking his head before he pushed between us and began making his way back towards the line of trees.

Daryl didn’t move. His eyes remained fixed on his brother’s retreating form. “I went back for you, man.”

I turned and looked at him, brows raised. Merle had told me all about his last group, at least as much as he’d cared to, including how they had handcuffed him to a roof in the middle of downtown Atlanta with no key and a horde of biters in the stairwell. I’d been appalled when I’d first heard the story, though the longer I’d spent standing next to the man, the more I’d come to respect his previous group’s decision to leave him for dead. A little extreme, perhaps, but I certainly understood the temptation.

Merle stopped mid-step and turned to face us, his face contorted into a scowl.

“You weren’t there,” Daryl continued. “And I didn’t cut off you hand, neither. You did that, way before they locked you up on that roof.”

I glanced back over to Merle, watching his upper lip beginning to twitch in anger as he listened to his brother.

“You asked for it,” Daryl snapped, pointing an accusatory finger in his direction.

“You know what’s funny to me?” Merle asked, pursing his lips in that indignant way of his. “You and Sheriff Rick are like this now.” He held up his hand with his fore and middle finger twisted around one another. “Right?”

Daryl didn’t dignify that with an answer.

Merle’s gaze turned to me. “Hey, you up for a bet, sweetheart?”

I cocked a brow, remaining silent. This was a brother-to-brother fight and I didn’t want to get in the middle of it.

“Psh. ‘Course you do. You always do.” Merle looked back to Daryl with a grin. “I bet you a pretty penny my little bro here never told Officer Friendly that we was plannin’ to rob that camp blind. Did you?”

Daryl’s gaze dropped to his feet and I got the distinct feeling he had never, not even back then, been entirely okay with their original plan. “It didn’t happen,” he muttered.

“Yeah,” Merle scoffed. “It didn’t ‘cause I wasn’t there to help you.”

With that, he turned and walked back into the forest.

I looked towards Daryl, waiting a few moments after he’d begun to follow his brother before I trailed behind. It was to give them the illusion of privacy and they both probably knew it, but it my slight distance seemed to help enough that Daryl didn’t think twice about yelling out his next accusation.

“Like when we were kids, huh?” he called, marching through the underbrush after his brother, slinging his crossbow back over his shoulder. “Who left who then?”

Merle spun on the spot with fire in his eyes. “What? Huh? That why I lost my hand?”

Daryl stepped further forward, right into Merle’s face as he pointed at his brother and snarled, “You lost your hand ‘cause you’re a simpleminded piece of shit!”

“Yeah?” Merle asked before grabbing onto Daryl’s shirt.

The younger brother tried to pull away, but his foot slid down the slight incline, pulling him off balance. He slid down to his knees as Merle’s grip on his shirt caused a violet rip in the fabric to open up, exposing Daryl’s bare back.

The two men kind of froze in place. I felt my own feet come to a complete stop as I stared at the red scars that criss-crossed over his skin. My mouth parted slightly in shock before I gathered my sense enough to turn away, averting my gaze. I had known, at least in theory, that Merle’s father hadn’t exactly been a kind man. It took one to know one, I guess, but it hadn’t occurred to me until that moment that he and Daryl had shared the same upbringing. The same abuse.

“I – I, uh…” Merle began, letting go of Daryl’s shirt and taking a step back. “I didn’t know he was –“

“Yeah,” Daryl snapped, trying to readjust his backpack and crossbow to cover the exposed skin of his back. “He did. He did the same to you. It’s why you left first.”

Slowly, the younger Dixon got to his feet, his eyes glancing over to me as if he were embarrassed I’d seen him in such a state. I met his gaze evenly for a brief second, making sure to keep my expression neutral. The last thing he needed was to think I felt sorry for him. I didn’t, not really. It was more a feeling of understanding, of a deeply seeded sense of anger that originated from my own dark memories. He looked away quickly.

“I had too, man,” Merle tried to explain, his miserable expression almost pleading. “I would’a killed him otherwise.”

I tensed a little, feeling a slight sting from his words. He left his baby brother alone with a man who beat on him just so he wouldn’t end up doing what I had.

Daryl adjusted the strap of his backpack and, without turning around to look at his brother, began walking.

Merle remained standing, watching his brother for a moment before yelling, “Where you goin’?”

“Back where I belong,” Daryl called over his shoulder.

Merle looked to me, confused as to what to do next. I merely shrugged and started following behind his younger brother.

“I can’t go with you,” he yelled in a hoarse voice. “I tried to kill the black bitch. Damn near killed the Chinese kid.”

Daryl didn’t look back. “He’s Korean.”

“Whatever!” Merle began to stumble along behind us, reaching out to steady himself on a nearby low-hanging branch. “Doesn’t matter, man. I can’t go with you, which means you can’t either, Jacques.”

I glanced at him over my shoulder. “Says who?”

He opened his mouth to argue but just ended up screaming gibberish in frustration, looking to the sky and throwing up his hands in defeat.

Daryl continued walking. “You know,” he said over his shoulder. “I might be the one walking away, but you’re the one that’s leaving. Again.”

Damn. I didn’t look back to see how the older Dixon had reacted to that. I didn’t need to. The sound of his dragging footsteps trailing along behind us was answer enough.

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