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#but season 3 needs love and so it’s been 11 years of me giving her love
incorrectsibunaquotes · 2 months
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tumblr glitched and spared you all the most heated rant of my entire hoa fandom tenure
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mightyflamethrower · 3 months
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15 Facts About E. Jean Carroll’s Allegations Against Trump the Media Don’t Want You to Know
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1.  Bergdorf Goodman has no surveillance video of the alleged incident.
2.  There are zero witnesses to the alleged sexual attack.
3.  Carroll first came forward — conveniently — with the allegations while promoting her book What Do We Need Men For? in 2019, which featured a list of “The Most Hideous Men of My Life.”
4.  Carroll was unable to remember when this alleged attack even occurred. She told her lawyer in 2023, “This question, the when, the when, the date, has been something I’ve [been] constantly trying to pin down.” She has jumped years — originally beginning with 1994, then moving to 1995, and even floating to 1996. She cannot remember the season in which the alleged attack occurred either.
5.  The Donna Karan blazer dress she claims to have worn during the alleged incident was not even available at the time of her claims. Trump Attorney Boris Epshteyn told reporters, “She said, ‘This is the dress I wore in 1994.’ They went back, they checked. The dress wasn’t even made in 1994.”
“And that’s why the date’s moved around. This is the 80s. Is it the 90s? Is it the 2000s? President Trump has consistently stated that he was falsely accused, and he has the right to defend himself,” he added.
6.  She never came forward with these allegations over the years despite constantly being open about sexuality, posting things that were very sexual in nature on social media — many of which Trump has shared. They include remarks such as “How do you know your ‘unwanted sexual advance’ is unwanted, until you advance it?” and “Sex Tip I Learned From My Dog: When in heat, chase the male until he collapses with exhaustion … then jump him!”
7.  She said she was never raped, telling the New York Times’ podcast, The Daily,“Every woman gets to choose her word. Every woman gets to choose how she describes it. This is my way of saying it. This is my word. My word is ‘fight.’ My word is not the ‘victim’ word. I have not — I have not been raped,” she continued. “I have — something has not been done to me. I fought. That’s the thing.”
8.  She named her cat “Vagina.” “Her dog, or her cat, was named ‘Vagina.’ The judge wouldn’t allow us to put that in — all of these things — but with her, they could put in anything: Access Hollywood,” Trump told CNN.
9.  Joe Tacopina, an attorney for Trump, pointed out in May 2023 that Carroll’s entire story has incredible similarities to a 2012 episode of Law & Order: Special Victims Unit. In that episode, titled “Theatre and Tricks,” an individual talks about a rape fantasy in Bergdorf Goodman — the same department store where Carroll claims the incident took place.
10.  Speaking of shows, Carroll loved Trump’s show The Apprentice.
“I was a big fan of the show. Very impressed by it,” Carroll said on the witness stand, adding that she “had never seen such a witty competition on TV, and it was about something worthwhile, competing.”
11.  Carroll made a joke associating sex with Bergdorf Goodman in a November 1993 edition of Elle, which was before the alleged Trump attack took place. As Breitbart News detailed:
Carroll was responding to a letter from a female reader concerned that she was having trouble achieving orgasm through sexual intercourse alone while the reader said that she could climax through foreplay. “Is there any way I could learn to reach orgasm through sex?” asked the reader in the November 1993 edition. “Maybe books I could read?” Carroll replied with the following advice (emphasis added): Dear Snowed Under: Stop flagellating yourself. Gadzooks! At least you have orgasms. And if that isn’t spontaneous sex I don’t know what is. Most women (about 70 percent) experience difficulties climaxing through intercourse alone. So you’re perfectly normal. Begin by reading For Yourself by Dr. Lonnie Barbach. She’ll give you excellent instructions on how to have an orgasm during intercourse. Then after 313 queenhell love-wiggles, move on to Gretta Garbo’s favorite love position – the top. (In erotic scenes, Garbo is always above the man. So are Sharon Stone, Bette Midler and Katherine Hepburn). Indeed, this location works better for women than the fourth floor of Bergdorf’s.
12.  Carroll is financially backed by anti-Trump Democrat megadonor Reid Hoffman, who has openly admitted to visiting convicted sex offender Jeffrey Epstein’s private island.
13.  Democrat party activists back her as well, as Breitbart News detailed:
Indeed, one of Carroll’s attorneys is Roberta Kaplan — a Democrat Party activist who led the group Time’s Up. She left the activist group after it was revealed she was aiding former New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo in attempting to discredit the Democrat’s accusers. It served as a great irony as Time’s Up seeks to defend women from what it claims is discrimination and harassment. This fact has led to mounting speculation that Kaplan only gets involved in cases that she views as politically expedient. Further, Federal District Judge Lewis Kaplan is overseeing the process and has connections to Carroll’s other attorney, Shawn Crowley. She was actually a law clerk for Judge Kaplan, and he officiated her wedding. That aside, Trump has denied knowing the left-wing activist as the only evidence of any contact is a single picture with Carroll greeting Trump and his ex-wife Ivana at an event greeting line over 35 years ago. Carroll has yet to provide solid evidence of this alleged encounter and will not use the dress that she claims had DNA on it from this alleged incident. Even Trump publicly said the dress should be part of the case. Further, there are no eyewitnesses of this alleged incident, which supposedly occurred at the popular New York City department store.
14.  The lawsuit was only able to proceed after Democrats created the Adult Survivors Act in 2022. She conveniently pursued this suit in November following the law going into effect, which allowed her to avoid the statute of limitations for this case.
15.  Carroll once said, “Most people think of rape as sexy.”
Donald Trump Jr. also retweeted a list of facts about Carroll, urging others to take a look:
- She couldn't recall the date, month, season, or year the incident happened -
She never told anyone about it, despite being publicly obsessed with her own sexuality -
The dress she claims to have been wearing didn't exist at the time -
Her description of the dressing room at Bergdorf Goodman was inaccurate, making her sequence of events impossible -
Her lawsuit was bankrolled by Jeffrey Epstein pal and Democrat (and Nikki Haley) mega-donor Reid Hoffman -
Democrats created a law (The Adult Survivors Act in 2022) to enable her lawsuit to proceed - Her accusation is the exact plotline of an episode of Law & Order (one of her "favorite shows") -
Trump's Apprentice was also one of her favorite shows -
She has a history of falsely accusing men of r*pe, including Les Moonves - She told Anderson Cooper, "most people think of r*pe as being sexy. Think of the fantasies." -
She made a career promoting promiscuity, even writing glowingly of sexual assault and naming her cat Vagina
We owe Stalin and Hitler a huge apology. We are ever so bad as they ever were. This isn't Justice. Its punishment for for disobeying the deep state elites.
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eternal-kosmo-ghoul · 5 months
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⭒❃.✮:▹ holiday hoes
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“so if you’re keen to listen, here’s an offer i’ll propose. let me work and i’ll provide you with a touch o’ that gold!” —liquid gold, lackadaisy
❝for the christmas spirit I’m going to be doing something… special, this year~
for the following days, i’ll be challenging myself to write an nsfw prompt that’s holiday related, based on the prompt list i gave myself. the masterlist will be posted soon enough, so stay tuned~❞ —kosmo
the list will update as each day passes. all fics are NSFW and must be read with caution!
ALL readers are gender neutral, however some fics may have gendered body language.
┅✦┅
✿ prompts ✿
1. “all dolled up” — phantom x reader, lingerie
- you wanted to look extra pretty for phantom on the holiday season
2. “a different kind of warmth” — swiss x reader, cockwarming
- when the icy cold temperatures hits, swiss has his own unique way of warming you up
3. “gingerbread houses” — aurora x reader, food play
- what a fun little activity to do with aurora! surely she won’t have any other ideas in mind… right?
4. “red ribbon” — rain x reader, bondage
- there was leftover ribbon from gift wrapping that you decided to use, and maybe you’re just the best gift for rain
5. “naughty list” — terzo x reader, spanking
- how sad… you ended up on the naughty list, looks like papa terzo will have to ingrain some discipline into you
6. “candle queen” — sodo x reader, wax play
- the scent of the candles just made this year extra cozy, maybe sodo has some tricks up his sleeve for how to make things cozier
7. “frosted windows” — cirrus x reader, mirror sex
- the fogged windows are perfect places to trace pretty little shapes on, cirrus however has a different shape in mind
8. “come watch me play” — vessel x reader, exhibitionism
- vessel likes to put on a show for the christmas cheers. what kind of performance does he have in mind?
9. “unwrap your present” — cumulus x reader, stripping
- you came home from a long day of work, just finally getting that well deserved vacation. cumulus has a pleasant surprise waiting for you
10. “festive little fantasies” — copia x reader, toys
- your gift for copia surely got him excited….
11. “picture perfect” — iv x reader, aphrodisiacs
- ivy was not expecting this little christmas get together to get all.. steamy.. but now he has you all to himself
12. “not so angelic” — omega x reader, corruption kink
- the little angel that came down from heaven to spread the joyous spirit… surely omega won’t try anything
13. “holiday blow” — iii x reader, blowjob
- as iii is writing letters to his loved ones, you decided to give him a little treat underneath his desk
14. “stuffed like a present” — mountain x reader, cum bulge
- mountain wants to give you something that’ll leave you completely filled
15. “nice list” — secondo x reader, praise kink
- what a good pet you’ve been… and it looks like secondo has taken notice
16. “blind to the light” — ii x reader, blindfolding
- ii wanted to add more spice to the bedroom for this year, and spoil you prettily for his holiday affairs.
17. “give you more” — zephyr x reader, overstimulation
- you decided to be extra generous to zephyr, and assist him when he’s in dire need of some love and affection
18. “my special gift” — sunshine x reader, thigh riding
- sunshine has a special way of showing off what’s hers.
19. “miss me on holiday season” — aether x reader, sexting
- aether is away for the festive spirits, that doesn’t stop you from missing him though
20. “just this once” — ifrit x reader, hate sex
- stuck in a log cabin with an old enemy, except ifrit’s been feeling extra lonely this christmas
21. “take me to church” — swiss x reader, blasphemy kink
- christmas is all about celebrating the birth of jesus… swiss wants to show you off to him
22. “forever ingrained” — vessel x reader, photography
- a new polaroid camera? vessel is getting a few ideas on what to do with it…
23. “christmas tree” — phantom x reader, public sex
- while searching for the perfect christmas tree, phantom finds himself needing some attention
24. “sharing is caring” — sodo and rain x reader, threesome
- sodo and rain learn to share their special gift
25. “merry christmas” — all era iv ghouls x reader, fuck party
- the ministry is all decorated in festive decor and it truly feels like the holidays are in season! now… what do these ghouls want to do with you?
▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄
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babydollmarauders · 6 months
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MEDIA MANAGEMENT — JACK HUGHES (23-24 SZN PART 11)
au masterlist
y/ndevils00
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liked by jackhughes, nicohischier, and 251,869 others
y/ndevils00 well… that was painful
welcome back to my post-game recap! if you don’t know who i am because you’ve been living under a rock, or you’ve been in jail (don’t do crimes unless you can get away with them), i’m y/n! or as my boyfriend calls me, ‘dove’! i work as the social media manager for one of the sluttiest teams (and maybe the worst this season…) in the National Hockey League: the New Jersey Devils!
let get into it! your favorite (or maybe least favorite. i wouldn’t blame you!) men from hell lost 4-6 against the patriotic old guys tonight…. i can’t say i wasn’t surprised
we had an absolutely scoreless (and sinless) first period on our end, transitioning into intermission down by 3!
but second period is when we really started heating up! we got FOUR lovely goals by THREE lovely people!!
starting with uncle Toffee!! who scored our first AND our fourth goal!! he’s been so queen girlboss slay recently! who knew he would be this good?! not me! i doubted him severely! (i cannot apologize for my previous thoughts about you uncle, i can only ask you to forgive me anyways because you took my DILH and i’m still recovering)
Timo the absolute Tank Engine got us our second goal of the night with his first goal of the season! and no penalties!! i feel like a proud mother to a usually extremely horribly behaved little boy 🥹
and of course, my favorite whore, my very best swiss, my least favorite kind of cheese; captain slut got our third goal of the night!! THAT’S MY HOE!! POP OFF! (he also got a penalty tonight but i’ve opted not to show that because he paid me $20)
and i could never forget to mention that my beautiful angel of a bad bitch, Rowdy, got an assist on THREE out of four of our goals tonight!! he’s only 3 points away from 20 points already!! THAT’S MY (baby)GIRL!
and third period is when we immediately went as cool as the ice they skate on… giving up three goals (including an empty netter to the oldest looking man alive)… we got no goals of our own and my sweet baby angel face bestie number 1 got a penalty for being too perfect 😔
all-in-all, let’s wish the boys luck against the sabres on friday because apparently they need it! i think friday’s enemy gave them some pretty good advice though and they should put it to use!
p.s. ikea baby and merc-dog are my exact reactions to how badly we played in the third
p.p.s. ovi… when i catch you ovi 🥊😑
tagged john.marino97, tofff73, tmeier96, nicohischier, jackhughes, lhughes_06, jesperbratt, and dawson1417
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jackhughes dove, baby, what is that abomination of a 5th photo?
y/ndevils00 my camera wouldn’t focus :(
jackhughes so why post it?
y/ndevils00 you don’t appreciate my talents
jackhughes i can assure you, i appreciate your talents plenty. photo taking is just usually not one of them
lhughes_06 gross
user29 did she just threaten OVECHKIN?! 😭
user17 i fear we may lose these updates after this threat 😪
jesperbratt what was i 😦 at?
y/ndevils00 i honestly couldn’t tell you— i was too busy wondering the best way to fit you in my pocket
john.marino97 i got a picture?!
y/ndevils00 you got an assist and no penalties!
john.marino97 but dawson got a penalty and no assists and still got a picture?
y/ndevils00 you’re not dawson, the standards for you are different
john.marino97 i’ve known you for 4 years and this is how i get treated? DAWSON HAS ONLY KNOWN YOU FOR 2!
y/ndevils00 you tattle on me, you deserve your treatment
dawson1417 she’s got you there, bud
tofff73 you doubted me?!
y/ndevils00 in my defense, i didn’t know you were chill like that
tofff73 jack has informed me that you cried at the trade, i forgive your doubts
y/ndevils00 @/jackhughes YOU’RE TELLING HIM MY SECRETS?!
jackhughes @/y/ndevils00 i wasn’t aware that you usually blast your “secrets” on your instagram story
user81 the random luke picture… y/n loves her smush 🥹
tmeier96 did you just call me a tank engine?
tmeier96 also, i’m OLDER than you!
y/ndevils00 that was a compliment! i’m saying you’re built!
tmeier96 you’re a funny little thing
y/ndevils00 also yes you are older— i said i FELT like a proud mother, not that i AM one. i already have one reckless child at home, i don’t want another
jackhughes @/y/ndevils00 she’s a cat.
y/ndevils00 @/jackhughes SHE IS OUR BABY
trevorzegras you love testing how far you can push before you get a warning for your behavior, don’t you?
y/ndevils00 i learned from you 🫶
trevorzegras you’re a cockroach
y/ndevils00 all i’m hearing is that i’m resilient and can live through anything
trevorzegras i hate you
y/ndevils00 you WISH you hated me— if you really did then you wouldn’t facetime me twice a week
nicohischier there are so many things i take issue with about my paragraph
y/ndevils00 is it that it’s not long enough? i’m sorry, i’ll make it longer next time!
nicohischier please DON’T.
lhughes_06 ya know, you were a lot nicer before i joined the team
y/ndevils00 oh good! that means i’m doing this right!
lhughes_06 doing what right?
y/ndevils00 tough love!
dawson1417 i didn’t do anything :(
y/ndevils00 i know, sugarplum!
dawson1417 they jailed me…
y/ndevils00 i can’t imagine how traumatic that must’ve been for you
dawson1417 oh it wasn’t that bad, you were in there too
y/ndevils00 yeah…. lindy put me there in 2nd intermission. he said if i wouldn’t stop chirping the capitals as though i was a player, then i needed to be treated like a player and get a penalty…. then i couldn’t get out because the game started again
dawson1417 you can’t skate, how did you get in?
y/ndevils00 i was betrayed
nicohischier @/y/ndevils00 i stand by it.
y/ndevils00 @/nicohischier YOU ALMOST DROPPED ME TWICE
nicohischier those were on purpose.
dawson1417 and how did you get out?
y/ndevils00 my knight in shining armor!
jackhughes @/y/ndevils00 i didn’t get you out?
jesperbratt i did!
jackhughes oh, yeah, that makes sense
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theitgirlnetwork · 5 months
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Better
Ch. 11: Three Months But It Feels Like Forever
Note: Hello! Happy Thanksgiving to those who celebrate it and just a warm hope you had a good day to those who don't. Another chapter written in the middle of the night, so...you know. Still I hope you enjoy it. Unfortunately our fave couple still has troubles ahead, but there's a fun, a little (a lot) crazy surprise at the end. As always, thank you for all of the love on this story, I'm really grateful for it. It really inspires me and makes this stuff even easier to share. You're all great. I love interacting so feel free to continue. Also this is short but the next one will be longer bc it's something big. Also again, this taglist situation is probably my bad so I'm gonna sort it out, try again next chapter, and then y'all can tell me if it worked, bc atp I'm embarrassing myself. Thanks and I hope you enjoy. <3
Charlotte's Work Party Look
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Lip's Work Party Look
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“So this is bullshit. He dumps her for one basketball game?”
“That’s not what happened, he was having an inner conflict, and he was only sixteen.”
“Sixteen year old piece of shit.”
Charlotte huffs, continuing to run her fingers through his blond curls. Lip is laid across the couch, his head in Charlotte’s lap, hand underneath her thigh. Debbie is sitting on the floor in front of the television and Troy Bolton had just told his friends he didn’t give a shit about Gabriella. 
“He’s just choosing basketball and his friends.” Debbie protests, breaking free from her basketball boy trance to argue with her brother.
“Basketball and his friends can’t get his dick wet-ow! Charlotte.” he winces, rubbing the spot on his scalp where his girlfriend had decided to bury her hand and tug. “Damn it, I was just sayin’ he’s got like one game left in the season, why does he need to break up with her to play? And that shit she just wrote on the board is wrong-why the hell are we watchin’ this shit?”
“You just don’t get it.” Debbie huffs, pausing the movie. She pushes off of the floor and grabs the popcorn from the coffee table. “Let’s watch try again when he’s not here.”
“Oh excuse me.” Lip rolls his eyes as his sister storms off, running up the steps. When he looks back up at his girlfriend, her cheek is dimpling with her deep frown. “What?”
“You ruined movie night” she fake pouts, rubbing her hand along his chest.
Lip smirks, before indulging her, sitting up and tilting her chin with his finger. “Aw, did I?” he kisses her cheek, “I don’t think I did.” her jaw, “We could go in my room and make our own movie.”
“Yeah?” Charlotte hums, meeting his lips briefly with her own before pulling back. “Can’t. I have work.”
“Stay here,” he murmurs, pulling her back to him. “You can dance for me.”
Giggling, Charlotte lets herself be pulled back in, exchanging kisses with the blond until his phone buzzes on the couch next to him, a dreaded name lighting up on the screen. She pulls back fully this time, standing to go get dressed. “Your professor is texting you. At 8:36 at night.” 
Blue eyes watch Charlotte disappear up the staircase before closing tiredly. Lip had been dodging almost all of Helene’s communications. He would read her texts to make sure they had nothing to do with his job, and only responded when they did.  He’d hoped that was enough, but everytime Charlotte saw that name pop up on his phone she would retract from him. Leave the room, pick up Liam, interact with anyone but him. One morning she asked again, if she had a thing for him, or if they’d hooked up in the past. No matter how much he wanted to, Lip just couldn’t bring himself to answer her with a yes.
“Fuck,” he breathes to himself, before running up the stairs after her. He pushes the door to his bedroom open. “Charlotte-” he pauses, staring at her, taking in her form. She stands in her work outfit, if you could call it that, the only thing offering an ounce of covering is the one leg of a juicy tracksuit she was putting on over it. “Um, what the fuck?”
She turns, meeting him with confusion, giving him a glimpse of the front which only has him letting out a laugh of disbelief. “What?”
“What? You’re gonna wear that to work?”
“Oh,” she shrugs, putting her leg through the other hole and pulling the pants up. “Yeah.” she chirps, reaching past him to grab the matching jacket, zipping it over the small bikini top she has on.
“The only thing that shit covers is your nipples.” Lip says, scratching his head.
“S’a stripclub, Phillip. They’re supposed to see stuff.” she giggles. Her laughter stops when she sees his stoic face. Charlotte makes her way over to him, cupping his cheek, “Hey, you said you were good with this. You’re not?”
Lip looks away from her for a second, shifting on his feet. He’s too embarrassed to admit to her that he thinks he agreed to this whole stripper situation too soon. He’d never been a jealous guy, so he didn’t think it was a problem, but he supposes that jealousy is a new feeling that Charlotte had brought into his life. “No, baby I am, just…shit.”
“What shit. Like shit? Or shit.”
Lip closes the distance between them, waiting for her to meet him in a peck, patting her ass when she does. “Watch your mouth.” he mumbles against her lips.
Big brown eyes just stare up into his blue ones. “M’workin’ for us, remember?” She whispers, wrapping her arms around his neck and rubbing his hair at the nape. “Besides, why would I look at the losers that hang out at the club, lookin’ at me all night when I could come work and be with my sexy boyfriend?”
“Good point.”
“Yeah?” she laughs, letting him pull her into a bunch of small pecks, between matching smiles. The couple starts to get lost in each other again, only breaking away at the sound of Lip’s phone going off again. Charlotte pulls back with a blank look on her face. “Your other girlfriend is trying to reach you.”
Lip rolls his eyes and sighs as she slips past him again, running down the stairs. “Bunny-”
“Just take me to work, Gallagher.”
“You do privates, honey?” A drunken man slurs, leering at Charlotte, waving a hundred dollar bill in front of her face. He’s with a group of older men who’d been tipping shittily and buying the cheapest drinks since they’d gotten there.
“No, sir I don’t, but the ladies that do are on the other side of the club…and they charge more than that.”
The man’s lip curls as he stands, scowling at the woman. Charlotte subtly takes a step back, glancing over at security, ready to call them if he got aggressive.
“Hold on, wait a minute, Trent. That’s my daughter in law you’re talkin’ to.” a voice rasps. 
“Frank?” 
The scraggly man emerges from the crowd of older men on the couch, positioning himself between Charlotte and the other man. “The one and only.” His gaze drops briefly. “Nice outfit.”
Charlotte wraps her arms over her chest and frowns at the man. “What’re you doing here, Frank?” She looks at the group behind him. “Are you in trouble?” 
“Trouble? I’m enjoying the ambience! You and your lovely naked friends are a sight to behold-”
“Oh, God, Frank!” Charlotte gasps, covering her mouth to hide her disgust. 
“What? You have a beautiful form!”
“I’m calling Phillip.” she huffs, turning to go to the locker room, she pauses as a thought passes through her mind. Twirling back around she makes her way back over. “Frank, what are you paying with?”
“Oh,” the older man produces a sock full of cash from his pocket. It’s familiar to Charlotte. Ever since Frank and Monica located the first squirrel fund, Fiona had started keeping the money in a new place. In the dry rotted hole on the floor between the wall and the dryer. Inside of the sock that Frank was currently dangling in Charlotte’s face. “I came into some money.”
“Hey, that’s-” Charlotte tries to grab it, only for Frank to yank it away at each attempt. “For the house! For bills, for Carl’s field trip this month-”
“That’s my house that you’re shacking up in fyi. This is Gallagher money, and therefore it’s mine to spend. Now point me in the direction of the ladies giving private dances. I’m a private man.”
“Frank, I can’t let you spend that-” Charlotte argues, grabbing one end of the sock and pulling. Frank is tugging at the other until he stumbles into a table, causing a couple glasses to fall and shatter, leaving Charlotte with the sock. Charlotte stands over the man angry, disgusted, and feeling a wave of hate she’s never really felt for anyone. Up until this point, she really didn’t consider Frank beyond the far and few in between memories Lip shared. But now she was seeing the man be shitty live and in person. And she was fed up. “It’s for your fucking kids you deadbeat!”
Two seconds later security is grabbing Frank and the manager on staff that night, Sarah, is pulling Charlotte a couple steps away. She can distantly hear Lip’s father yelling and cursing as he’s dragged from the club. “Lottie, what happened?”
“I…Frank is my boyfriend’s father, and he’s trying to spend their house money, and he was being a dick about it-”
“Okay, okay. Well, Frank knows he’s not really supposed to be in here anyway, so it won’t happen again. The new guy at the door must have let him slip through. But, because a personal altercation occurred out on the floor, I have to send you home, babe.”
“Damn, really?” Charlotte whines, looking at the crowd starting to pour into the club, no doubt big spenders. She could practically see the dollar signs fading away. Sara offers her a sympathetic look, shrugging. “Fine, okay, let me call my boyfriend to pick me up.”
Lip had been dead asleep when Charlotte let him know she needed to be picked up from work. He has work tomorrow and so in an attempt to get some real sleep, he was in their room at V and Kev’s house, taking advantage of the quiet. He’d rushed over to get her, grabbing Kev’s car keys without asking and noting to himself that a car should probably be the first thing on their list to purchase with the Bunny Bank. When he pulled up out front she was already waiting there for him, the big burly security man, John waiting beside her to walk her to the car. 
He and Lip exchange nods as Charlotte climbs into the car pouting. “What happened?” Lip immediately questions, barely letting the door closed. “Someone was fuckin’ with you?”
Charlotte huffs, buckling her seatbelt, allowing him to turn the light on and try to check her for any bruises or injuries. “No…kinda, just- your dad showed up.”
“Fuckin’ Frank.”
“Yeah, right, and he had all of your house money, and I tried to get it back, and he wouldn’t give it back, and we fought and I told him he was a piece of shit deadbeat.”
Lip frowns at that. He hates this part of having a girlfriend. It’s fucking humiliating. He doesn’t know how Fiona lets a bunch of different guys get involved with their family shit. Finding Frank drunk in the yard, Monica coming and spewing her bullshit, now Frank was showing up at Charlotte’s job. And she was fighting with him over money he’d stolen from his children. It’s fucking embarrassing. “Yeah, well, that’s Frank, don’t worry about that shit okay?”
“Well he was stealing from-”
“Fiona and I handle it, it’s not your problem, alright?” Lip says, muscle in his jaw jumping in irritation. 
From the corner of his eye he can see Charlotte stare at him with a hurt expression for a moment, before sitting back in the passenger seat, facing forward. “Okay.” she drops the sock full of money on his lap.
The rest of the ride is quiet, Lip drives her through dingy streets, in a borrowed car and wallows in shame. Charlotte is leaning as far into the door as possible, far from him. When they pull up to their neighborhood she hops out of the car before Lip can open the door, going over to Kev and V’s house. Lip follows a couple paces behind quietly, assuming the fact that she’d left the door unlocked was a sign she still wanted him to come with her. 
As he enters the room he finds Charlotte already in her pajamas, curled up on the bed facing the wall. Small movements let him know she’s crying. The blond quietly slips behind her, wrapping his arm around her waist and resting his face against hers, pressing soft quiet kisses against her cheek. “M’sorry, baby.”
She just offers a sniffle in response.
Lip sighs loudly, dropping his head to the desk. His eyes fucking burn. He got little to no sleep after he’d basically told Charlotte off and made her cry, and she was quiet as hell this morning. He was such a screw up. “Fuck” he curses, grabbing a cigarette and his lighter from his bag, leaning back in his desk chair as he sparks it. 
“Gallagher! You have a visitor!” Eric calls from the hallway. Immediately, Lip’s mind goes to Charlotte. Maybe she was feeling better and didn’t fucking hate him for telling her off for caring about him.
“Let her in!” 
The door creaks open revealing Helene with a condescending smile plastered on her face. “You’re a hard man to hunt down, Phillip Gallagher.” 
He just sighs, exhaling a cloud of smoke into the air. “M’busy.”
“With what? Work or your girlfriend?” Helene sits in the chair across from Lip, crossing her legs, rolling her eyes when he doesn’t bother answering, taking another drag. “I’m kidding. But you have been ignoring my calls.”
“Well, you’re here now. What’d you wanna talk about?”
A muffled voice that could only be Eric’s is heard through the door. “His office is this way. You look great by the way.” The door to Lip’s office pushes open again, and who enters this time has him shooting out of his seat.  “Gallagher, your girlfriend’s here.” Eric grins, tucking his hands into his pockets as Charlotte slowly makes her way in, eyes flicking between Lip and Helene.
“Fucking shit, okay-” Lip mumbles under his breath, holding his arm out for Charlotte to come to him. He watches as she rolls her shoulders back, standing straight and walking behind Lip’s desk, leaning into him. “Hel-Helene, this is my girlfriend Charlotte, Charlotte, this is my old Professor Helene.”
“Nice to meet you, young lady.” Helene says, holding her hand out.
Charlotte takes a deep breath before setting down the bag she was carrying in her hand, reaching over and taking Helene’s hand. “Nice to meet you too, Mrs.-”
“Miss.”
“Ms. Helene.” Charlotte finishes, a tight smile on her face. 
The blonde woman laughs, tossing her head back. “Just Helene is fine.”
“Mm well, I dunno. Doesn’t seem right.” Charlotte shrugs, leaning further into Lip. “Thank you, by the way, for helping him get this job, it’s been wonderful.”
“You’re welcome. It was no problem at all, Phillip is a special boy.”
“I know,” Charlotte grins even harder, roughly patting Lip’s cheek. “A very special man. So proud of him.” 
Lip watches the exchange trying to figure out if he should be nervous, laugh, or think it’s hot that Charlotte is staking her claim right now, running her hand along his hair, face and chest as she pretends to smile at Helene. 
Eric clears his throat stepping further into the room himself. “Charlotte, something smells great, and it came when you did so either you smell amazing or you cooked something.”
“Oh, I,” She takes a piece of blue tupperware out of the bag, placing it in front of Lip. “I made you lunch, you didn’t eat breakfast this morning and you didn’t take lunch so…I thought we could eat and talk, but, I see you’re busy.” 
Lip turns to her, voice softening as he grabs her hand. “Bunny, I’m sure I can-”
“Oh, that reminds me.” Eric sighs, tapping his own forehead. “I meant to give you some assignments from my dad, I know it’s your lunch break, but you’d have to stay late otherwise.”
“Fuck.” Lips breathes, running his hand through his hair. 
“It’s alright bro, I could take Charlotte to lunch.” Eric offers, not withering under the looks he received from the couple. “My girlfriend and I are meeting up anyway, let the girls hang out and spend my money, Becca’s always looking for a partner in crime.”
Charlotte looks at an apprehensive Lip. And she knows it’s wrong, but the way he and the cradle robber across the desk interact makes her feel petty. “Sure, if Lip’s busy.”
Lip fixes Charlotte with a look of betrayal that has her questioning her decision, but Eric is already guiding her away from him out of the door. Yeah, fuck that. Lip thinks, grinding his teeth as he goes to follow them out of the door. Helene’s hand shoots out to stop him before he can get far. “Oh, and Lip, before you get back to work, there’s a work dinner for all of the different departments that I’m hoping you’ll attend. I mean, I know your boss, Mr. Avery is excited to meet you there.”
“Look, uh, Helene, I mean, thank you for all of this. For the job, recommending me and shit, but,” He scratches his nose, “the texts, the calls, they have to stop. Like, now you’re visiting, and that’s weird, you see I have a girlfriend so…”
“Of course, I wouldn’t ever want to disrespect that, I just thought, after everything, we could be friends.” Helene stands, grabbing her purse. “Well, I can see now that’s inappropriate. But you really should come to this party. It’s good for your career to make friends and shake hands. Bring Charlotte with you.” 
Lip tucks his head, “I dunno, I don’t…don’t really think Charlotte is gonna be in the mood, we uh, need to talk.”
“No matter what was going on, my husband and I always made it to each other’s work functions. We always supported each other’s careers. If someone can’t do that for you, are they really the one?”
The young man recoils, frowning at the implication. Yes. She is. Period. Full stop. They were out of tune today, but Lip knows what he knows. And he knows he and Charlotte are there for each other. He knows they love each other. He knows that these past few months were the best of his life. Even when he and Charlotte weren’t on good terms, he knew he wouldn’t want to be struggling to communicate with anyone else. “You uh, mean ex-husband. And she’ll be there.”
Helene barely hides the hurt look on her face before she lets out a short, “Great.” 
“Do you think this is okay?”  Charlotte twirls, the skirt of her brown dress flaring around her gives Lip ideas that he knows he shouldn’t be having. Especially while they were fighting. Kinda. Something else he’s learned over these last few months is that Charlotte holds stuff in. When she’s upset she doesn’t explode like his family does, shit like he does. Breaking property, getting arrested, fighting. She doesn’t withhold affection like Helene and Karen used to. No, she still let him touch her. Quietly letting him press his lips to her cheeks, not moving when he rubs his hips, bringing him lunch. It was the stillness. The angry tears. The lack of warmth that let Lip know things were strained. And it hurts. 
“You look great, bunny. Fuckin’ beautiful.” Lip says from his bed, tapping his cigarette ashes into Ian’s ashtray.
“Okay, good. You ready?” Charlotte asks, smoothing her hands over her dress as she looks in the mirror. Her voice is so devoid of emotion, but her eyes are extremely expressive. Big brown pools full of sadness as they meet his in their reflection. 
But Lip is new to this. New to trying to maintain. New to trying to keep someone of value. “Babe, uh, should we talk or somethin’?”
Charlotte takes a deep breath before turning to Lip with a tired smile. “Later. Let’s get you to your work thing and after you wow them with your big genius brain, we’ll leave early and try to get on the same page.”
“Yeah?” he stands, looking down at her.
Charlotte just shrugs, reaching over and adjusting his tie with a small smile playing at her lips. “Yeah.”
And that’s the game plan. When they arrive at the party, which they find is being hosted at a friend of the company’s house. If one could call it that. It looks like a fucking mansion, down to the marble columns. Lip felt out of place, everyone here looked so…expensive, and not in the ‘I worked my ass off way’. He felt different than he did when he’d met Helene’s friends back when they were hooking up. The only thing preventing the bounce in his leg as he basically paraded his intelligence to the highest bidder with the future of his family on the line, was Charlotte’s soft, steady hand on him at all times. Fingers intertwined with his. Rubbing circles on his back. Rested on his thigh as she leaned into him. All Lip could think about was the fact that he was here for her, for them. He could secure their futures together if he turned this internship into a permanent job. He could…could…shit. Is that what he wants? Hell, is that what she wants?
Lip’s thoughts are interrupted by Eric and Rebecca’s entrance. The latter immediately beams as she sees Charlotte, squeezing her way between crowds of people, turning her nose up at a tray of hors d'oeuvres being passed in front of her face. “Lottie!” she cheers, tugging Charlotte up by her hands, pulling her into a hug. “You look gorgeous my love, who are you wearing?”
“Um, I’m sorry, my mother got me this dress, but if you wanna pull the tag out-”
“Oh, no, honey it’s fine. You can call me with outfit details later, I need to go find Eric’s bitch of a mother.” she murmurs under her breath. “Sorry I couldn’t make lunch earlier, but thanks so much for reminding that asshole to bring me something. It’d be just like him to go to my favorite restaurant and bring me nothing.” Rebecca scoffs, tossing her hair before fixing a fake smile on her face, leaving to find her boyfriend’s mother. 
“You,” Lip pauses, laughing in disbelief as he stands, looking between Eric and Charlotte. “You went to lunch together. Alone.” He nods to himself, still chuckling, slowly walking closer to Eric. 
“Phillip.” Charlotte tries, putting her hand on his arm. “Phillip, we were already there when Rebecca said she wasn’t coming, stop.”
“Yeah, man, it’s nothing serious, I just took your girl to lunch, she’s probably never been to the nicer restaurants in Chicago before-”
“Man, I’m about to knock your fuckin’ head off.” the blond continues, calmly putting his drink down, the force making a sound that gathers the attention of passersby. Charlotte tugs at Lip again, pleading to him his ear, telling him to go get their jackets and she’d use the bathroom. 
“Please, Phillip. Please. Just go get the jackets. Please. We don’t have to talk to him. Please.” she begs, cupping his face. Eric huffs as he watches the woman coddle her boyfriend and takes a deep swig of his drink wandering off to go find Rebecca. 
Lip runs an angry hand through his hair stalking off to the room where the jackets are being kept without saying a word, trying to maintain his temper. But of fucking course. Of course he’d meet a girl like Charlotte. Of course she’d make him fall in love with her, and like a fucking idiot, he would. And of course they’d meet a jackass like fuckin’ Eric who wanted her, who could give her the things she deserved like nice dinners, cars, houses, the pretty fucking outfits she likes to wear. He could give her that without planning for months, saving, taking money in and out of their joint savings to take care of his batshit family. Lip slams the door behind him, going to sift through the coats before pausing, hearing sniffling from the other side of the room. “Uh, hello?”
“Oh, I’m sorry,” a watery voice says, stepping out from the closet area Helene is clutching a tissue in her hand, going over to Lip. “I’m sorry, it’s just-” her words are cut off by sobs.
“Uh, shit, sit down.” Lip says, guiding her to sit on the bed in the room. 
“I…my son just called, let me know he made it back to school okay. And…it slipped in conversation, his father went on a date. He’s started seeing someone. I’d thought…he’d maybe surprise me by coming here. Oh, and I was so rude about Charlotte earlier, but my partner is the one not here.”
Lip watches awkwardly as the older woman sobs, placing his hand on her shoulder after a moment, glancing around. Sure he felt bad for her, but after all this time, he’d realized she really had been a bitch to him. And her ex-husband. He’d thought so highly of her before, thought she was the best thing that would ever happen to him. Now she was crumpling in front of him and he could barely bring himself to comfort her. “Sorry. But, I thought that was like…you guys’ thing. Fucking other people.”
“No, that was more me, he…tolerated it.” 
“Oh. That’s…shitty.” Lip whistles.
“It is.” Helene sighs, sniffing one last time. She wipes her face before fully looking at Lip. “I think I was filling some kind of void you know? Low self-esteem, issues with aging, I have them all. The only relationship I had outside of my marriage that meant anything is you.” 
They hadn’t even heard it. At least, Lip hadn’t. The door opening. The sound of Charlotte coming to check on him since he hadn’t returned with their jackets. But he did hear her curse before slamming the door. He couldn’t move fast enough, leaving Helene behind he slips between the bodies of movers and shakers in scattered throughout the house, swinging open the door and running down the steps, finding Charlotte stumbling in the grass as she kicks off her heels, grumbling. “Charlotte!”
He catches up to her quickly, grabbing the car keys from the valet stopping at Kev’s truck. The woman keeps walking, head held high as she limps out of the gate. “Charlotte, are you serious? Get in the car.”
“No!” 
“Fucksake.” he growls, getting into the car and backing out of the driveway, following alongside her slowly as she makes her way on foot. “It’s fucking dark, get in the car.”
“Leave me alone.” she huffs, crossing her arms, whining to herself about the dirt touching her feet.
The muscle in Lip’s jaw jumps, his scowl going deeper. He reaches over and lights a cigarette, smoking out of the window. “You know, you’re the one who went on a fuckin’ date with someone else today.” 
Charlotte laughs, speeding up. “It wasn’t a fuckin’ date. His girlfriend was supposed to go, and she canceled. We were already there, and you were too busy eye-fucking that old professor that you conveniently left out you used to literally fuck.” 
“I really don’t wanna talk about eye-fucking when you get naked for half of Chicago, alright?” Lip grits. Too far. He knows it immediately. He watches her stop, and look at him with hurt he never wants to see, her tear tracks shining in the lights from the streets. His own eyes glisten with unshed tears. He puts the car in park, cigarette still balanced between his lips as he hops out walking around the side and grabbing a kicking, protesting Charlotte by her waist, tossing her over his shoulder. Lip places her in the car and slams the passenger door before getting back into the driver’s seat, staring forward at the road.
Charlotte pettily snatches the cigarette from his mouth, opening her window and flicking it to the road. “Why didn’t you tell me you dated her?”
The blond takes a deep breath, letting his eyes slip closed. “I was embarrassed, and I thought it’d freak you out. That you’d ask me to quit cause she helped me get the job. And I would if you asked me to.”
“I would too. Quit. If you asked me to.” Charlotte sighs.
“I don’t wanna ask you to do that. You like it, it's good money, shit you just started. But I do hate it. Thought I wouldn’t, but I do.”
“So, we’ll talk about it more. Until we both know where we stand on it.” she says, facing forward too, she's quiet for another beat before speaking again. “I’m telling the truth about Eric.”
“I know.” Lip scrubs his hands down his face. “I know. And I am sorry that I yelled about that stupid shit with Frank. That bullshit just shouldn’t be your problem.” 
“I want it to be my problem. I love your family and I love you. I want to be part of it. I want…I want to be your family. So I care about the money you guys saved being stolen, I care if Liam’s diapers get bought, and I care if Carl gets to go on his field trip.”
“Fuck, bunny, I know you care. I just don’t want you to deal with that shit, it’s fuckin embarrasin’ you having to see my family like that. Having to kick in money for the house.”
“It’s stuff I wanna do. Ian doesn’t walk on eggshells with Mickey. None of you do. You treat him like an honorary Gallagher. Why can’t you do that with me?”
The couple turns to each other now, Lip reaching over the console, grabbing Charlotte’s hand. “You’re fuckin’ better than us, bunny.” He says, one tear finally falling.
Charlotte reaches up, wiping away the drop before smoothing his hair. “You’re gonna stop talkin’ about my boyfriend and our family like that. Nothing is better than you.” She smiles as Lip brings her hand to his mouth kissing her hand. “Well, except Chad in high school musical, I mean, I let the Troy slander go, but he’s different-” she laughs into the kiss that he pulls her into, the two of them smiling into the embrace as they share soft, tender kisses. 
The pair stays like that for a while. Wrapped up in each other. Sitting in the dimly lit car, running Kev’s gas on the side of the road without a care in the world. After a few moments of peace Lip decides to take a risk. It’s a big one, a very Fiona style decision. But those were random loser fuckers who got her off when she was vulnerable. This, this is Charlotte. His Charlotte. Who'd singlehandedly made his life better in the short time she'd been here. Who he loves an unexplainable amount that almost pisses him off. And he’s scared. Fuckin’ terrified. But he has to try.
“Sweetheart, how long have we known each other?”
Charlotte scoffs, playing with his fingers with an absent smile. “Well, three months, but it feels like forever. You know, I never know if people mean that in a good or bad way. I mean it the good way, obviously.” she beams at him, looking into his eyes and finding him with a serious face, her smile fades. “What?”
“Do you work tomorrow?”
“Hm, nope, not supposed to. You?”
His chest tightens as he answers her. He doesn’t believe in stars aligning, or cosmic whatever, but he thinks that this might just be the fate shit that Debbie is spewing all the time that makes no scientific sense. “Nah, I uh…threatened my boss, so I gotta see if I still have a job. I think he has a thing for my hot girlfriend that I’m..I’m uh really in love with.”
“If he does, he doesn't stand a chance. Because I really love my boyfriend.” she hums. If anything was gonna be his confirmation, Lip thinks this is it. Those words were enough. “So what’s with the questions? You wanna do something?” she asks cutely, leaning her cheek into his hand.
This is it.
He looks down into her brown eyes and decides this is what he wants to see forever. Looking at anything else sucks anyway. 
“Yeah, um…”
Just fuckin’ do it pussy.
“You wanna go get married?” 
67 notes · View notes
radiobelle23 · 2 years
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All the KinnPorsche fics that had me in a chokehold - completed recs because I know we all have PTSD from incomplete fics
So here I am after thousands of years of being off tumblr for one reason. KINNPORSCHE. Now if you’re like me and you like to hyper fixate on things, then you know what’s it’s like to spend hours trying the find the best fics to satisfy that boost of serotonin. So here I’ve listed all of my favorite KP fics I’ve read on AO3. Now, I mainly read smut but I do enjoy a little fluff every once in a while so WARNING: I’m gonna list some of the most toe curling, smut filled fics of them all here, some summaries are VERY EXPLICIT. I do read Vegas/Pete and Kim/Chay fics as well but this is primarily dedicated to my two favorite kingpins. Originally this was going to be a complete/incomplete rec list but I then realized it was going to be a monster of a rec page. Anyways ENJOY !
Update 10/1/22: Happy spooky season! Can I just say that I honestly did not expect my little list to blow up like this? You guys all fed into my praise kink, not gonna lie. And some of the authors saw it!?! I am not worthy!!! You all deserve the love!!! I realized I left out a couple fics and I am back to right my wrongs! So any * you see has been added since the orig post date... I might need to make a second list.....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Kings Tree - LuckyDragon
Summary: Kinn was seven when he woke up one morning to discover a small silver circle on the back of his left wrist.
Chapters: 14/14 Words: 78,474
In the Eye of the Beholder - asleepby2
Summary: Rich, the latest recruit to the main family's famed security detail, has no idea what exactly the two dons have going on and he's determined to find out.
- or -
Kinn and Porsche as observed by an oblivious fool.
Chapters: 3/3 Words: 7,883
tiny spark, mighty flame - BeStillMySlashyHeart
Summary: In a world where the touch of your skin with another could reveal your soulmate, Kinn keeps his collars high and his gloves on. What happens when he's not allowed to do that anymore?
Chapters: 11/11 Words: 29,452
A Little Wicked - midnightsurge
Summary: “There is a way to get her off your back,” Kinn seems reluctant to say. “I don’t know how willing you’d be to go through with it.”
Porsche raises an eyebrow.
Kinn sighs and finally spills. “If she thinks you’re with me, she won’t dare approach you anymore.”
Porsche freezes. He stares Kinn down.
-
Porsche never pawns the watch. Kinn never kidnaps him. Somehow they still fall for each other.
Chapters: 1/1 Words: 11,146
Paperwork Promises - surrealsunday
Summary: Filing paperwork and tending to the needs of rich, stuffy executives was never Porsche’s dream career, but a job is a job. That job is made a lot less easy – but maybe a bit more interesting – when the boss he’s been avoiding since that very first day in the elevator, gets a lapful of coffee and an eyeful of Porsche. Just when Porsche was getting used to the monotony of the every day…
Executive Bossman Kinn | Assistant Smartass Porsche
Chapters: 8/8 Words: 80,533
fool me once (fool me twice) - perfumes
Summary: Porsche wondered if any of it was real. It sure seemed real at the time, when Porsche chose scissors to Kinn’s rock, when Kinn looked back at him with such devastation. Such love. It felt real when he’d looked up from the fish they’d caught and said: So kind. Why do you keep your smiles to yourself?
Now, Porsche wore handcuffs again. He left them lying alone in his cell. He could barely look at them.
Perhaps, Porsche had only seen what he wanted to see. Perhaps, he had only ever been a replacement to Kinn. Until the real thing came along.
“I’m going to do what I should have done a long time ago,” he said. “But I need your help. Will you give it?”
Vegas smirked.
-
(Or: When Kinn believes Tawan over Porsche, Porsche asks Vegas to help him fake his and his brother's deaths to escape the mafia world. Years later, Kinn visits a small, private beach and orders a drink.)
[Episode 9 Canon Divergence]
Chapters: 8/8 Words:  30,528
Parallel Love - PrinceHeart
Summary: “Do you take Porsche Pachara Kittisawat as your lawful spouse?”
Kinn’s jaw clenched at that, then he reminded himself why he was doing this.
“I fucking do.”
Or where the only solution to bloodshed, violence and disaster between the two mafia clans, is simple. An arranged marriage.
Chapters  20/20 Words:  64,154
between the sheets - DasWarSchonKaputt
Summary: “And who’s that?”
“Oh. That’s Porsche. He’s Khun Kinn’s live-in boytoy. He’s harmless, mostly. Just a pretty face.”
--
A boyfriend can go so many places a bodyguard can’t. As the threat of a potential leak in their security forces looms large, Khun Korn hatches a plot to place an added layer of protection around his heir presumptive. Enter Porsche, former bartender, current bodyguard, and reluctant fake boyfriend of Kinn Theerapanyakul.
Chapters: 8/8 Words:  70,456
cravin’ - yeetlegay
Summary: It’s only when Kinn is two knuckles deep in Porsche’s ass, his teeth buried in the meat of his thigh, that it occurs to Porsche he probably isn’t that straight.
Chapters: 1/1 Words: 1,847
Trials & Tribulations - rainbowcolored7
Summary: In which Kinn is a renowned lawyer for TK & Associates, as well as a certified bastard, and Porsche is his new assistant who isn't sure whether he'll scald him with hot coffee or fuck him before he decides to quit.
Chapters: 3/3 Words:  26,348
Your teeth round my organs - androktasia
Summary: “Aren’t you meant to finger me?” Porsche asks, breathless, as Kinn smears lube around the rim of his hole. Kinn looks up, pausing his movements, and Porsche shifts slightly, almost unconsciously, as though trying to get him inside.
“Where did you hear that?” Kinn asks.  
“I watched some porn,” Porsche says, and Kinn raises an eyebrow at him, unimpressed. He remembers the kind of porn Porsche likes – shrieking women lying back and taking it from coarse, grunting men. “Gay porn,” Porsche clarifies after a moment.
Chapters: 1/1 Words: 3,148
Weak Spot - tessalane
Summary: Kinn nods and clears his throat. “Yeah, I’m – I’m taken.”
“And who is the lucky one?” His uncle snorts, clearly not buying it. He crosses his arms in front of his chest and scans Kinn as if his nephew would say, “ha, sorry, I was just joking.”
Kinn seems hesitant for a moment, but then he turns around and points at Porsche. “It’s Porsche.” He holds out his hand and fakes a smile aimed at Porsche. “Baby, come here.”
What the actual fuck?
Chapters: 11/11 Words:  35,920
give it to ya like you never had it - mirrorofprinces
Summary: “Porsche is extremely close to signing. In fact, he has a final meeting with the execs on Monday morning. The only condition is that he wants to request his first partner, and it’s you.”
Kinn takes a long drink of his whiskey, sets the glass down, and runs his tongue over his teeth. “So you had to meet with me, urgently, to tell me that a beautiful boy wants me to fuck him, thinking I’d say no.” He drums his fingers on the bartop. “Which means there’s a catch.”
Chapters: 1/1 Words: 7,448
right here beside you, i’m still - P1n3appl3_p3n
Summary: When Kinn gets sick, Porsche steps in to lead the major and minor families. They are grossly in love.
In his five months as head of the minor family, this is his first meeting with other clan heads without the weight and presence of Kinn, and to some it probably appears like blood in the water. Porsche much prefers to sit at Kinn's right hand, but he knows he can manage on his own.
His grin is careless, a careful veneer. Time to show these assholes the minor family isn’t one to be underestimated.
“Let’s begin.”
Chapters: 1/1 Words: 3,869
You picked a dance with the devil, You lucked out - aby01
Summary: Feral alphas are devastatingly violent, brutally vicious and absolutely loyal. To have one under your control means great power. Kinn has been looking for his own for years now.
He just didn't think he'd find it in a mouthy beta that tricks him out of his favorite watch.
Chapters: 4/4 Words:  34,025
Note: this is a A/O/B fic, if that’s not your preference genre then skip ahead... But you should really try anything once 😉.
Make Me Come Undone -  ahdriking *
Summary: Porsche fucked up. He fucked up badly.These are his consequences. Kinn teaches Porsche a lesson in trust, and being careful what he asks for. Unfortunately for Porsche, some lessons have to be learnt the hard way.
Chapters: 1/1 Words:  15,108
give him something to believe in. - Skamtrash *
Summary:  vegas and kinn make a bet to see who can fuck their bottoms better. the couples fuck next to each other to see who will win, pure filth ensues.
Chapters: 1/1 Words:  4,134
The Things We Do For Love - Hissnoiice - A/O/B fic *
Summary: He loves in the way a Theerapanyakun does. Kinn is his father's son afterall, looking after what is his has been ingrained in him since birth.
Chapters: 1/1 Words: 8,021 
If You Like Series
like real people do -motherfleckers
Summary: A series of fics set in a fluffy AU where Kinn is a celebrity singer and Porsche is a bartender in a small beach town. That's it, that's all there is.
Works: 2 Words 20,279
speeding through all of these red lights - foreigncars (lunarsoo)
Summary: “I’d like to work for you.”
Porsche didn’t expect his words to draw such an easy laugh out of Kinn. He can’t say he doesn’t like the sound of it, but it’s a little disappointing that he gets to hear it at his expense.
“Why would you want to work for me, Porsche? You know what I do, right?”
- Alternatively, the one where Porsche asks to work for Kinn instead.
Works: 4 Word: 90,539
What I Would Do - TheObsoleteOne
Summary: Kinn was always in control - he had who he wanted, when he wanted and how he wanted.
Of course Porsche would end up being the exception.
Works: 3 Word: 36,042
note: author does not have a series summary so i placed the summary for part 1 instead. Part 2 is a Kim/Chay one shot that I found cute. Part 3 as of now is incomplete, hoping the author finishes because I really did like this series. I still placed it on the list because part 1 ended well and is worth a read.
Readers Choice - here's where I gush over some authors
Note: Can I just give a round of applause to the following authors for having multiple works ready for me (and you) to spend countless of hours - and I literally mean hours reading through. 
iffervescent  
Note: this author also happens to have all of the sexy scenes from the KP novels translated... just saying 👀....
The power in the taking
Summary: They warned him, when he started working for the Theerapanyakun clan. Forget leadership, forget duty to his people, forget all that – they warned him. Kinn Theerapanyakun, clan heir: obsessed with power.
Porsche should have fucking listened.
Chapters: 2/2 Words:  17,005
Public Consumption
Summary: Porsche agrees to be in a gay porno. Kinn doesn't work here.
Chapters: 1/1 Words:  13,598
and its VEGASPETE counterpart
Brand Recognition
Summary: Vegas wants his top billing back. Pete likes being on the bottom.
Chapters: 1/1 Words: 6,910
Sample Tasting * 
Summary: Porsche wants Kinn to ask. Kinn just wants the answers.
Chapters: 1/1 Words:  10,037
Note: also part 3 of Public Consumption 😉
Intent to Cherish -  A/O/B fic
Summary: A mouthy beta runs off with Kinn's watch. He goes to get it back
Chapters: 4/4 Words:  47,670
Knowing him, knowing you
Summary: They do the threesome thing, every now and then.
Kinn and Tay meet Porsche
Chapters: 1/1 Words:  12,619
Note: Okay so i couldn't resist throwing this Kinn/Prosche/Tay fic in here, so good and so smutttttyyyy
SourwolfZiam
The Crown
Summary: “Your Highness” Porsche greets after opening the door and finding Prince Anakinn standing there. He keeps his voice flat and emotionless as if he was addressing the King or his General. He bows his head for a few seconds, not looking him directly in the eyes as he’s taken to doing the last few months.
Porsche doesn’t miss the way the way the corners of the prince's mouth tightens at his tone.
“Lieutenant General” Prince Anakinn – Kinn – returns, his voice carefully neutral.
-
Lieutenant General Porsche and Prince Kinn are together and in love, until they aren't anymore.
This is a love story.
Korn is the villain.
Chapters: 6/6 Words:  25,752
Mr. and Mr. Theerapanyakun-Kittisawasd
Summary: The life of the It couple in Thailand, billionaire Kinn Theerapanyakun and supermodel Porsche Kittisawasd.
Works: 2 Words:  8,634
fortunehasgivenup
the undone and the divine
Summary: In the aftermath of battle, all that's left is need.
Need to touch, to feel, to be certain that one is alive and whole.
Kinn and Porsche give in to their need.
Chapters: 1/1 Words: 1,587   
but you’re everywhere (yes you are)
Summary: What if Porsche, upon remembering the kiss on the pier, went to Kinn and said that he remembered? What if there was no diamond auction? What if they'd had a different start?
Would it make them any softer?
(No.)
Chapters: 3/3 Words:  92,424
even though you’re not mine, you’ve got that look in your eyes
Summary: "He doesn’t do that kind of thing."
What Yok means when she tells Kinn this: Porsche doesn’t engage in sex work.
What Kinn hears when Yok tells him this: Porsche doesn’t take men as clients.
One day, Porsche is struggling to make ends meet, enjoying the occasional hook-up in the back of Yok’s bar. The next, Anakinn Theerapanyakul is offering him an obscene amount of money to get added to his roster of “friends”.
The money’s good, the sex is better, there’s no way that this can backfire, right?
Chapters: 2/2 Words: 26,805
The One Where Porsche and Kim Are Gym Buddies
Summary: When the Phoenix comes up to Kim at the gym and introduces himself as Porsche, it's only polite to reply. They're both in the fighting circuit after all.
One conversation leads to another and soon they're gossiping about their romantic lives.
Romantic lives being the rich dude who's been railing Porsche into next week and the cute guy that Kim can't help but want to spend more time with.
It's nice having a friend who doesn't know your brother.
Chapters: 2/2 Words: 19,598
Happy reading! I will be making a separate list for the current ongoing fics, hopefully by the time i get started they'll be close to completion. Let me know if your interested in the VegasPete or KimChay list, I dont have as much but still good to spread.
kurtstiel
i'm the one for your fire 
Summary: This series is canon compliant with the exception of Kinn and Porsche being in an established Dom/sub relationship.
It will explore various aspects of a Dom/sub dynamic with lots of bratty Porsche and doting but firm Dom Kinn.
Works: 5 Word: 39,660
gone was any trace of you *
Summary: Kinn is looking at Porsche like he’s seen a ghost.
Porsche blinks and the haunted expression is gone, Kinn smoothing it over with something neutral, but there’s still something fragile at the edges of it, like a crystal figurine balanced on a ledge. Kinn’s body relaxes in a way that’s purposefully casual, tucking his outstretched foot back onto the bed.
“You were in the bathroom,” Kinn says. He phrases it like an answer rather than a question
Or: Porsche left Kinn in their bed with nothing but a note. In the aftermath of the shootout, Kinn can't stop thinking about it.
Chapters: 1/1 Words: 11,097
all of me (is all for you) *
Summary: The water has saturated Porsche's white shirt completely, soaking through the vest beneath. The translucent material clings obscenely to the swell of his pecs. His nipples are clearly visible through the sheer material, hard and pebbled, with the unmistakable shape of the metal barbells pierced either side of them.Porsche’s head jerks up to check if he can still hide them from Kinn, but it’s already too late. Kinn is standing across the room, staring in Porsche’s direction, entire body coiled tight like a spring.Or: While Kinn is away on a business trip, Porsche gets his nipples pierced as a surprise for their anniversary. Kinn comes home earlier than Porsche expected.
Chapters: 1/1 Words: 9,940 
And
Please leave comments and kudos to the authors, they deserve all of the love and more 💞
***yeah im gonna need to make another list...
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Season 3 Rewatch Drabbles: 3x5 Good Form
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Summary:  A series of 100-500 word drabbles to accompany my    rewatch of season 3 of Once Upon a Time.  There will be a drabble–either a deleted scene, a “fix it” fic or a character musing for each episode of the season.  Focus will be on Emma, Henry, the Charmings and Killian–with an emphasis on Captain Swan’s epic love story.
Word Count: 745
Other Chapters: (1) (2) (3) (4) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) (11) (12) (13) (14) (15) (16) (17) (18) (19) (20) (21) (22) (23) (24) (25) (26) (27) (28)
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Killian touched his lips softly, almost reverently, as he sat alone in the forest. She’d kissed him.  She’d actually kissed him.  Killian reached for his flask, needing the familiar burn of the rum on his tongue to prove to himself that he was awake and was not, in fact, in the throws of a delicious dream.
He’d flirted with her, smiling his teasing smile and playfully touching his lips as he suggested a way she might thank him for his service toward her father, but he’d never expected her to take him up on his suggestion.
Not that he was complaining.  That kiss had been…. He blew out a long sigh.  Even for a man so normally silver tongued as he was, there were no words.
It was more than the kiss itself–that had been steamy, passionate, blissful, of course–but it was more than that. It was….it was what the kiss revealed.
He loved her.  He was in love with her.  She’d snuck under his defenses as stealthily as any pirate could have, and without his knowledge, she’d taken possession of his heart.
It was an uncomfortable feeling, if he were being honest.  He’d never been one to bestow his love lightly, but when he did, there was no going back.  He’d spent two-hundred bloody (often literally) years in Neverland because of love for Milah, for heaven’s sake.  The thought of moving on from her, of bestowing his heart on another and giving her the power to crush it as thoroughly as Milah’s death had done…
He took another long swallow.
Well, there was nothing for it now.  It had happened.  He’d fallen in love again.
As he continued to sit and ruminate on the events of the day, it occurred to him that while the revelation of his love was momentous, it was by no means the only noteworthy thing that had happened that day.
This place, Neverland, had a truly ghastly effect on its inhabitants.  It had a way of bringing one's worst fears, one's greatest insecurities, one's biggest regrets to mind.  This place was depression in physical form.  He’d survived his last stint here with the aid of one thing and one thing only–his revenge.  That goal, that singular purpose had allowed him to keep his wits about him.
This time around….well, the fact that he’d allowed the Crocodile on his ship, formed a tentative truce with him, proved that he had given up on that revenge.  Without that singular focus to ruminate upon, he’d spent the hours on this island this go around reminded of his sins, his faults, the fact that he was a villain whom the heroes tolerated only.
Hadn’t David said it himself this morning? “Let me give you a bit of advice, Hook. She’s never gonna like you.  How could she?  You’re nothing but a pirate.”
Though he’d tried to keep the mocking grin on his face, it had stung, and for the first time, Killian realized how very much he wanted to change his life, become the kind of man Emma’s father–a man who was so much like his own hero, Liam–would approved of.
But at that moment, the gloom of Neverland had descended, and he’d come to realize he’d never be that man; he’d never overcome his past.  He’d never reach a higher status than “the pirate with which we’ve formed a temporary but begrudging alliance”.
And so it had continued throughout the day.  David had taken pains to make his disdain and dislike known and felt, taking small verbal digs at him, even as he attempted to save his life.
So it was that the second most astounding event of the day–second only to the kiss–had happened.  When they’d returned to camp after achieving their ends at the top of Dead Man’s Peak, David had not only given him credit, but had toasted him, had bestowed on him the look of approval and gratitude Killian had never dared hope to receive from him.
It had embarrassed him a bit, having the entire company of heroes and Regina (he still wasn’t sure where upon the hero-villain spectrum she truly belonged) raise a flask to him, but the warmth it engendered had been as potent as his rum.
For the first time, he could see a way forward.  Maybe he didn’t have to be forever defined by his past villainous deeds.  Perhaps….perhaps there was a path to redemption available for him after all.
NEXT CHAPTER->
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percyjacksonblog · 2 months
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PJO TV series thoughts (some spoilers)
The actors know their characters really well
The pacing is too slow
It really missed the mark on Percy and Luke’s early relationship and therefore missed the emotional impact of Luke betraying Percy in the forest
Quit giving the kids the answers immediately, one of the best parts about the series is how you see Percy and the rest of the half-bloods wrestling with their issues during the quests and therefore generating more character development
Missed the opportunity to look more deeply into Annabeth and Luke’s relationship and Annabeth feeling betrayed by Luke
Did like them bringing up Thalia in more detail before SoM
Action scenes were lacking. These characters with the movie action scenes would have improved the overall experience in my opinion
The Lotus Casino and Hotel was disappointing to me. That chapter in the book revealed so much more about the characters then everything up to that point i.e a preview into their “fatal flaws”
Didn’t mention Annabeth’s love of architecture but A+ mentioning her fear of spiders
I did like some of the changes, and it overall was more true to the story than the movie
Not Jason Mantzoukas actually being one of the best casting choices for Dionysus
They did a good job making Kronos creepy, but missed just how sinister he actually is
Overall I did enjoy it. I think this was a good place to start to test the water and the audience before the rest of the story comes out.
Things I hope they do and keep in mind moving forward.
They need to pick the pace up. They cut so much from the book and just left the big plot points that it seems like nothing is actually leading them from one plot point to the next.
Hopefully the show runners saw what is happening with the stranger things kids and won’t let that happen here. They were like 12 years old when they started and now they’re in their late teens and early twenties. They need to film as much as they can for the next two installments as possible over the course of this year and then they can do the same with BotL and TLO. We’d either get a Logan Lerman or Stranger Things scenario where adults are playing teens and it looks so bad.
Better marketing for the pre-teen audience. I was in 6th grade when I first heard about Percy Jackson and The Lightning Thief had been out for probably close to 3-4 years so I literally grew up with Percy, it was a very personal story for me. That being said, because I was around Percy’s age I related to the characters more and there needs to be a better job of connecting the 11-14 year old target audience to this story. PJO fan clubs at the junior high schools, book clubs in their English classes with resources from the show etc. I love this story, but I’m a full grown adult now with an adult job and have had one for years so I know I’m not the target audience for this show, but I know several people like me who are in the same situation.
SoM is the shortest in the original 5 book series so they need to stick closer to the source material, maybe more Odyssey references as SoM is essentially a retelling of The Odyssey.
Unless they literally film the next 4 seasons at once within the next two years, I don’t think we’ll get a HoO series, the kids will be too old. The only work around I can see is recasting Percy and Annabeth or making two original characters, but then SoN,MoA and HoH wouldn’t make sense.
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alovesreading · 1 year
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Constant Repeat | Part 7
Summary: Having worked at Focus Creeps for a year, Ella knows that as a production assistant and part of the crew, there’s one important rule: don’t interact with the talent unless it’s needed. But once she meets Arctic Monkeys, and the recording of the music videos for their upcoming fourth studio album starts, the band seem to become her exception. Not only because they treat her more like a friend than just someone else they’re working with but when Alex continuously makes her blush with his flirting, so enthralled by her that he forgets he’s got a girlfriend, Ella finds herself growing closer to him. As videos are filmed, wrapped and edited, the friendship lines become blurry. Situations unfold, secrets are told and others are kept under lock and key, but how long can Alex and Ella endure being stuck in each other’s minds on constant repeat.
Word Count: 16.8k 
Story Warnings: Throughout this series there will be suggestive talk, jealousy, cheating, alcohol and drug use, angst, smut.  
A/N: Happy Friday my lovelies! This is probably one of my favorite chapters and you'll know why by the end of it. Seeing your reactions to this one is gonna be a wonderful birthday gift hahaha, so I'm very excited to see what you think of it!! Enjoy xx
Masterlist
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 |
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It was the start of the second week of the year and Matt had just arrived in Los Angeles. Ella had picked Breana up early to go and pick him up from the airport, and she had acted like the couple's reunion hadn't made her tear up. She truly loved them both so much, even if they were a multiplied menace together.
The three went to have breakfast, with Julian joining them shortly after they had been seated. It was a cute little bakery that had some of the best pastries and coffee Ella had ever had, she went there so often that she was recognized by the staff.
"So how were the holidays?" Ella let her cup of tea rest on the table softly to give the drummer her whole attention, hoping to hear only wonderful things about the holiday season in his hometown.
Matt just shrugged, knowing it had been good but like usual, "Really good, nothing too interesting. Got to spend time with my mum and dad, the lads..." But he trailed off, remembering his grand discovery. "Well..." He started with bubbling excitement but when he realized Julian was there, and Ella was very much not single, he decided against telling her. It would only bring trouble. "No, yeah, nothing interesting."
Ella chuckled, sarcastically replying, "Don't sound so sure there."
"Sorry, I thought something worth telling had happened but it's nothing." It was something, but he just couldn't say it. It was a bad idea. "Hope you spoiled this one for me during the holidays." Matt was quick to change the subject, hugging his girlfriend into his side.
Ella smirked, "Surely, I did. I'm sure Julian got a bit jealous over how much time I was spending with her rather than with him."
"These two right?" Matt asked jokingly, with a facial expression that screamed 'can you believe them?'
Julian shook his head, "They're unbelievable."
"Don't go complaining much, most of the time we spend together is when we take those pictures you two love so much." Bre fought, raising her finger up in the air and pointing at both the men accusingly.
Matt lifted his hands up, "Right, right."
Ella wanted to taunt the drummer some more so she added, "Don't show him the pictures from the last session we had, make him beg for them."
"Jesus Christ," Matt scoffed playfully, "Does she always have you begging, mate?"
Ella turned her gaze to Julian, scowling at him. "You will not disclose that information."
"I won't," Julian agreed but then he turned to Matt and mouthed, "Sometimes."
Bre smirked and Matt laughed, Ella smacked Julian's hand which was resting on top of her thigh. The two boys were nothing but trouble.
The next seven days had been just like that, pure banter coming from the drummer, mainly targeted at Ella. He just couldn't hold himself back from teasing her, it was funny seeing her glaring at him all annoyed.
Ella had spent most of the days third wheeling for Bre and Matt, but she truly didn't mind. Julian had started the year with full force, work taking him away most of the week but she wouldn't complain, not when he enjoyed what he did so much and he still made sure to text her sweet things and updates about his whereabouts throughout the day. He had promised her to spend the weekends he had free with her and that's exactly what they had done the weekend before the rest of the band was due to arrive.
When Monday morning arrived, she was ecstatic to go back into the rhythm of things at the studio but much more excited to have her friends back. She was determined to start the year well, having fully let go of any grudges she had from her past with Alex and with her mind set on having things be the way they had been before, when they first had met.
She gave them all a tight hug when she had gotten to Rancho de la Luna.
"How's everything been?" Ella asked them all, and they all replied positively with smiles on their faces. They were brief at telling her how the holidays had been but it all sounded so nice, she was happy for them.
She'd smiled back at them and, once inside, they all rolled right back into the groove of things.
About three hours into the time they'd been there, James had gotten sent the final version of a song they'd done in their last week in LA. They had all agreed in wanting to hear it so James plugged his laptop to the audio system and played it.
The drums quickly drowned the room and then joined the bass which made the room vibrate, the guitar soon came after and Ella was already obsessed with the song.
She hadn't been prepared when Alex's sultry voice started singing, but hearing the first word be the name Arabella got her thinking about how this song was a love song for Arielle.
She cooed internally, thinking about how adorable Alex was for that.
When it got to the chorus, she'd gotten excited over hearing their own version of the 'War Pigs' guitar riff. She'd started beaming at the music she was listening to.
She was slightly confused about the first line of the second verse, feeling oddly personally addressed but it just had to be her brain trying to make shit about herself. She even ignored the fact that the chorus lyrics reminded her of when they were driving down San Diego's coast on the way to that restaurant they visited after Belmont Park.
But when the bridge started and it brought back those memories with each line, she couldn't help her smile faltering, falling down until it completely disappeared. She couldn't believe what she had just heard, her thoughts too scattered to even gush over the stunning guitar solo that was bouncing off the walls by the end.
Ella only snapped back to reality when the last chord of the guitar died inside the room and the lads started eagerly talking about the song and how it had ended up sounding. She was too stunned to speak, having trouble letting the words roll off her tongue when Jamie asked her if she'd liked it.
Forcing herself to smile, Ella nodded, "Oh, yeah, you absolutely killed that Black Sabbath guitar riff." Her gaze was swimming around the room but trying her hardest to keep it from falling on Alex's. "What's the name of this one?" She asked just to make sure.
"Arabella." Jamie replied with a soft grin and she could only nod.
She was so confused, her steps slow as she went back to the settee and focused again on replying to emails but as the minutes passed and the letters on the screen turned into one single blob of unreadable imagery, she decided she needed a breather.
She grabbed her cigarettes and lighter and exited the place. Her shaky legs were barely able to carry her up to where her bike was parked. She plopped down on it, sighing with her head still scrambled. What the fuck? The whiplash she'd gotten from that song was enough to make her want to take the day off.
So much for wanting things to go back to normal.
She sat there, with the sun keeping her warm despite the chilly winds of January, smoking until she felt better. It was on her third cigarette that she had tried to turn the situation around in her head—Maybe he just wrote it a long while ago, she convinced herself and the more she said it, the more it became more factual.
She nodded as she threw the dying bud and stepped on it—It will be the only one about me, he's happy and in love with Arielle.
That's the one thought she kept on loop as she walked back in, going to the kitchen and pouring herself a shot of the studio's brand of tequila. She fucking needed it.
Ella was startled when she left the shot glass with a thud on the kitchen counter and Matt had seen her swallow the gulp of alcohol, "Oi!" He'd exclaimed, "We starting the party early today?" The clock showed a pitiful 12:23pm which made her sigh heavily—it was gonna be such a long day for her.
"Be my guest." Her voice didn't sound inviting at all as she poured a shot for her friend.
Matt frowned at her, "Well if you're gonna be the one starting the party, you should come alive a bit. Damn."
"Piss off." She muttered, no energy left at all to deal with Matt's teasing.
He snorted, "You hated the song that much?"
She shook her head, "No. It was... it was good, just–" She started, but she had to bite her tongue not to spill it out to Matt. "When did you record that one? After I was gone?"
He downed the alcohol without much of a reaction to the taste, "Yeah, we made it pretty quickly actually. I think it might be one of the best and fastest songs we've done for this record so far."
Ella hummed, not knowing what to do with that information. She just turned to the sink to wash the glass and then followed Matt back to the recording room.
When she'd walked through the door, it was like no one had realized how much the song had affected her. Alex was sitting in a chair with a guitar in his hand, next to James and Nick who were also in their own chairs but in front of the massive mixing console.
Their backs were facing her, and she was grateful for that—she was sure her every thought was written all over her face.
She knew she wasn't brave enough to ask Alex about it, to confront him or get any reasoning from him, so she just decided to ignore the whole situation. She had wanted the whole recording period to go smoothly and drama free, but she now knew there was never gonna be a dull moment as long as she was around the band.
Taking a deep breath she reminded herself of her plan of action, just ignore it. And just like that she forced herself to resume sorting through emails, hearing Alex mumbling along a melody he was playing on the guitar.
Isn't it hard to make up your mind
When you're losing and your fuse is fireside?
She heard them celebrate at the sudden composition of the lines, encouraging Alex to go over it again and see if he could come up with anything else. His brain was going a thousand miles per hour, trying to find the perfect words to rhyme for the first part of the verse he was coming up with.
After a few tries he knew which configuration of lines he'd liked better, settling for:
I'm not sure if I should show you what I've found
Has it gone for good, or is it coming back around?
Isn't it hard to make up your mind
When you're losing and your fuse is fireside?
James nodded eagerly, "That's it. That's it mate." he patted Alex's shoulder proudly, "Sounds like a good chorus actually, we can make it one."
Alex and Nick nodded, having worked with James so many times before meant that the band trusted him fully to take out the full potential of whatever they'd come up with.
That's how that day, Ella had gotten back home humming the melody of the song. She dropped her bag on her sofa and ran to her room to call Breana.
She'd told her all about it, trying her hardest not to mess up the order of the lyrics she could remember and asked the model if she was overreacting, to which Bre firmly said no, agreeing that it was something she'd freak out over too.
Breana had helped her settle adding, "He's a musician though, honey, they all do that. Don't be surprised if there's another one there about you."
Ella groaned, "I rather not. I hope Arielle doesn't even notice about this one." She stayed quiet for a few seconds before she whined in dismay, "Why did he have to go and record a song about me when he has a fucking girlfriend?!"
Breana giggled on the other side, "'Cause he's a man, babe."
Ella sighed, "Fucks sake."
"He could've been more discreet though, don't you think?" Bre added, amused. "He literally has your name in the title of it."
Ella whined like she was in pain, "Why are you making it worse?"
A hard laugh was what she got as a response, "And there's also some of Arielle's name there but that's purely to fool everyone."
Ella rubbed her temples, tired. "I just hope they scrap it from the final record, they told me they had recorded some more songs in London back then along with 'R U Mine?' and 'Electricity' so I'm crossing my fingers they do the same for this one."
"Hopefully, yeah." Her best friend agreed, "Just, don't lose your mind about this okay? If there's any trouble with his girlfriend, it's all his fault."
"I will try my hardest. The worst part is that the song is good..." She was truly in dismay but then she heard the muffled sound of Breana's doorbell through the phone and she laughed, knowing exactly who that was meant to be, "Right, have a fun night hun."
Bre giggled, the sound filled with joy, "I will. Love you! Bye!"
"Love you too, bye!"
The line died, and Ella sighed. What had she done in her past life to deserve this? She was so stressed about the whole thing, she was close to start pulling her hair out.
But then her phone rang and when she saw it was her boyfriend, she felt like she could escape the situation for a bit. Hearing Julian's voice was a breath of fresh air, and him telling her he was coming over was like everything had lifted off her shoulders.
What would she do without him?
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Julian having four days free to spend with Ella was the cure to it all. The next few days at the studio had gone by like a breeze when she knew she would be coming back home to him.
But the day she'd come back home from the studio to kiss him goodbye, since he was leaving for a week to work in San Francisco, it had all gone to shit.
Every bit of calmness that Julian had given her after the 'Arabella' situation was thrown out the window when none other than Arielle called her in despair.
"Hi Arielle! How are you?" Ella had asked her in a chipper tone but her whole face fell when she heard the model sniffling on the other side of the call.
"Hi Ellie, not that well to be completely honest."
Ella was completely confused, she wasn't close enough to Arielle to receive a phone call from her during a low moment but that didn't mean she wasn't going to be kind to her and help in any way if she could. "I'm so sorry, is everything okay? Anything I can do for you?"
"I was wondering if you knew anything–" Arielle started but her voice broke and Ella's heart hurt for her, "I saw you were with the guys at the studio already," She remembered the picture she'd posted the day before of the lads just doing their thing, scattered around in the studio.
Ella had no idea what this all was about but what she didn't expect was the model suddenly asking, "How's Alex?"
Her frown got impossibly deeper after that, "Alex? What do you–"
"We broke up." Arielle was quick to say like the words were burning her tongue, "Well, he broke up with me."
Ella pouted to herself, feeling a wave of sadness for the model but the confusion was still very much there because Alex seemed so okay at the studio. "I'm so sorry to hear that, Arielle. I had no idea. I don't think anyone knows... No one mentioned a thing at the studio."
Arielle covered a sob with her hand, heart breaking a bit more at seeing that apparently he hadn't told a single person about it, Matt had texted her earlier asking her if she was joining them anytime soon and that had been a cruel reminder of what had happened, hence why she had decided to call Ella.
"Right." She replied defeated, "I had hoped he'd told you about it, just so I could get some answers."
"What do you mean?" Ella's confusion grew every time Arielle said something else.
"It's just– He broke up with me out of nowhere, Ella." The model took a deep shaky breath and continued, "Can I tell you something in confidence? It's gonna be TMI but I–"
Ella nodded despite knowing Arielle couldn't see her, "'Course you can, it's okay."
But Ella wasn't prepared for what she would get in return, "I'm so sorry, this is so TMI but I'm just baffled," She started again as if she was giving Ella the chance to take it back but at the silence, she sighed, "The night before, Ella, I swear we had the best sex we'd had in months. He fucked me dumb, telling me how gorgeous I was over and over. He called me darling! He's never used that for me before, I–. Fuck, I'm just going crazy trying to understand this."
Ella was shocked. Not only to have to be hearing this but she truly wouldn't have suspected a thing from Alex's behavior—and she was sure the lads didn't know either because only a few days ago Jamie had made a joke and teased him about the singer's girlfriend to which Alex only had replied with a short chuckle.
She decided to ignore the details Arielle had given her, which weren't many but the fact that Alex had called Arielle darling for the first time in that moment had Ella shifting in her place uncomfortably.
"Arielle, I'm so sorry. I genuinely had no idea, he seemed so normal." She sighed, biting on her thumb. "Jamie mentioned you a few days ago, to tease him and he didn't say a thing. He just laughed and kept doing whatever he was doing."
"It's okay Ellie, I guess I will always wonder what happened..." The model sounded so defeated but she continued telling Ella what had happened that last day, "The next morning he made me breakfast and everything, and in the middle of it he just said he couldn't keep our relationship going. Just like that." A curt chuckle came from Arielle, "He almost said that 'it's not you, it's me' bullshit."
Ella winced, "Oh fuck that..."
Arielle could only hum in agreement and then remembered her poor timing, "Sorry Ella, I probably just interrupted something."
"No, no. Was about to go to bed. Don't you worry Ari, truly." Ella consoled her, "We could go out this weekend? To drink and dance it all away? Julian just left for work and I'll be alone for a week, I'm sure Bre will be down for a girls night." Yes, Alex was her friend but Arielle was one as well so Ella wasn't choosing any sides and if there was anything she could do to help Arielle feel better then she'd do it.
Arielle smiled, silent tears rolling down her cheeks at Ella's kindness. "I would yeah, just send me a text and I'll go wherever."
"Sure. Now go dry those tears hun, he doesn't deserve them."
Arielle giggled, wiping her cheeks. "Thank you, Ellie. Have a goodnight."
"You too Arielle, can't wait to hug you soon. Goodnight."
Fucking hell.
Ella had no idea what the fuck had just happened but she'd decide to ignore it for as long as she could. She needed to relax.
So she rolled a joint, and started smoking out in her backyard. In between puffs, she decided to call Breana and quickly tell her everything, also make sure she was in on going out with Arielle two days from then.
Needless to say, retelling everything had left her even more confused and she ignored the silence on Breana's side when she mentioned his use of the pet name for Arielle. In the back of her mind, Ella knew just what her best friend was thinking but she didn't want to give that another thought.
The next day, Ella had been extra observant, her eyes on Alex at all times and by the end of the day, she was fully intrigued.
She'd bitten her tongue all day, waiting for the perfect moment to bring it up but when they were all leaving and she hadn't had a chance to talk to him alone, she basically baited him into staying a bit longer before they left.
Ella asked him for a cigarette, knowing damn well that would make him stay to have one with her. Two minutes had passed of them smoking as they watched the sun die on the horizon, when she gained the courage to ask.
"How's Arielle? Haven't seen her in a while." In her mind it made more sense to go straight to the point, like ripping a bandaid.
What she hadn't expected is for him to hide behind an inquiry of his own, "How's Julian?"
She chuckled quietly to herself, someone's defensive. "He went to San Francisco yesterday night, he's doing a weeklong shoot over there for some city event." And then she turned to him with an eyebrow raised, challenging him to respond to her question.
Alex barely looked at her then, he was afraid that if he told Ella about his new relationship status while looking her in the eye he might beg with them for her to have him.
"We broke up." His statement was simple, not heartfelt at all—it sounded more like he said it fast to get it over and done with.
"Oh," She muttered, trying to contort her face in the best way so he didn't notice she already knew.
But Alex didn't even turn to look at her, he kept his gaze straight ahead of him and took a long drag of his cigarette.
"I'm sorry." She added, hating the suffocating silence.
The singer only shrugged though, "It's okay, just wasn't right anymore."
Her hum was low and quiet, Ella had no idea what to say. "Are you okay?"
He offered her a half smile, "Yeah, why?"
"I don't know, you just seem so normal. Do the guys know?"
"No, don't tell them." Alex silently begged her, "Matt's gonna try and set me up with someone, or worse he's gonna force me to go out on the pull– I can't be arsed."
Ella giggled, fully convinced Matt would. She offered her pinky finger, and Alex locked it with his—the 'death ramps' ring on her skin once again. "Promise."
When she was done with her cigarette, she discarded it on the ground. They hugged each other goodbye and he watched her as she left on her bike.
He shook his head, now that she knew he had no idea what to do with himself. Especially not when he still felt her pinky finger intertwined with his and his skin craved her at all times.
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Alex had seen Arielle's post that weekend, the three girls with tequila shots in hand and flipping the camera off.
He had no idea how that had happened, if it had been something planned before he'd told Ella about the breakup or if Ella had called Arielle and taken her out because of it. But he didn't care much, as long as they'd had fun then it would be fine by him—he thought it was kind of Ella and Bre to take Arielle out to distract her after everything.
Ella knew Alex had seen it, the look on his face was enough to know but she was glad to see he seemed completely fine about it. Maybe even happy, as the singer asked her subtly if she'd had fun, she nodded with a smile and added "Trying to power through the hangover though."
That day had been quite calm, the lads had focused on giving a few modifications to some of the songs they had been making and putting on a queue to finish later. Of course Ella was recording the whole process, she'd left the camera on the end of the table they were all sitting by so the angle had the camera catching perfectly what they were all doing.
They had gone back to 'Fireside', trying to make the verses work with the melody they'd been creating and she had been watching it all unfold from her usual place on the settee so she managed to catch Matt instantly when he went to disturb the footage she was getting.
"Oi! Matthew!" She called out after the drummer had stuck his face right in front of the lenses of the recording device, "Stop fucking with the footage."
Jamie had cackled loudly as he turned to point at Ella, "You've just said 'oi', you're officially spending too much time with us."
"Only because I'm getting paid for it." Ella joked with a straight face.
"Same here." added James, making Alex laugh beside him.
His chuckles were contagious, making the rest of the room erupt in laughter. Ella loved moments like these, it was just pure bliss for everyone around.
The hours were going by and the guys had reached the point where they had exhausted their brains too much over finding the perfect placements for the verses in the song, so they moved on to talking about random shit.
Ella had gotten a call from Julian in the middle of Matt telling his childhood antics and how he'd fake being ill to skip school, so she excused herself to go outside. It hadn't been a long call, just about ten minutes since it was all her boyfriend had gotten of free time while working.
When she'd gone back to the room, it was all a frenzy. They were arguing so loud, she grimaced at the change of volume compared to the crickets softly building up a choir outside as the night fell.
"What is going on?" She couldn't even make up what it was that they were talking about.
"Ella, how many instruments can you play?" Nick asked quickly.
The question was so sudden, she automatically let out a confused, "Huh?"
The bassist sighed, he wanted to prove a point, "How many instruments can you play?"
"None," She blushed as it was embarrassing to admit in a room full of musicians.
Matt turned fast to the bassist, "See! Told you."
Nick shook his head, "No, c'mon, you gotta at least know one. Even if it's simple."
The PA stayed quiet under their attentive stares, thinking about how she'd only really played one instrument consistently at a point in her life. "Xylophone." She mumbled to herself, somehow that was even more embarrassing to her than saying she didn't know how to play a single instrument.
"What?" Jamie asked since he was the closest to her and not even him had been able to hear correctly.
She raised her volume enough for them to hear her, "The damn xylophone."
Matt had laughed out loud, whereas the rest of the band had smiled amused at her. She rolled her eyes at their reactions, the only one she liked at the moment was James who was smiling at her understanding how annoying they could be.
Nick turned back to Matt and brought their argument back up, "See! At least one."
Matt refused to accept his defeat, "Not agreeing with you until she plays it. She can say she knows but she might not."
Ella sighed exasperated, "Why would I lie dumbass? That'd be even worse. If you find me a glockenspiel then I'll play it for you, dick."
Matt stood up and went to find the percussion instrument not before telling her, "You're on it." as he walked past her.
Five minutes later, she was sitting in front of a coffee table where the thirty note glockenspiel rested. She had two little wooden mallets, one on each hand, and she started getting nervous under the gaze of all the boys.
"I feel like I'm back on fucking eight grade about to perform for father's day, Jesus Christ."
Matt was ready to take the piss out of her so he encouraged her, "Go on then."
She'd rolled her eyes before thinking back to her last few years in middle school and how she'd been assigned band as extracurriculars. She'd chosen the xylophone because she really hadn't want much of a challenge, it was enough that she'd had to be in band to start with.
So Ella hit the first note and after that E note reached her ears, it was like memory had completely taken over. She played 'Für Elise' smoothly and when she was done she flipped Matt off, "Whatever it was, Nick won."
The drummer waved her off like one waves an annoying mosquito, "But everyone knows how to play that song in whichever instrument they know."
She didn't say anything back to him, just grabbed the mallets back up and with a C note she started playing 'Fly Me to the Moon' by Sinatra. Right after she'd finished with the chorus of it, she started playing 'Take On Me' by A-ha and just to shut him up she finished her repertoire with 'Bohemian Rhapsody' by Queen.
Ella remembered the endless days she'd practice that last song until she got it to perfection, her middle school self was really hard on herself—she still remained the same in that aspect.
Everyone but Matt started clapping making Ella blush, "Thank you, thank you." She took a small bow, "I cannot believe I still remember how to play those songs, haven't played since I started high school."
"Well she can actually play an instrument, so your argument is fucked Matt." Concluded Nick with a victorious smirk on his face.
The drummer rolled his eyes and proceeded to stand up, "Whatever, Ella might be able to but I stand my ground."
She was confused but, honestly, she didn't want to bring the whole thing back up so she decided to just stay with the curiosity. "Where'd you get this? So I can put it away." She asked Matt but before he could answer, Alex interrupted.
"Actually, can you help me?"
Ella set the mallets back on the table, "With what?"
"I feel like we should try and make a soft song," He looked for words to describe what he wanted to do, "Like a lullaby of sorts."
Ella slowly nodded, not so sure if she'd be much help but agreeing nonetheless, "Sure, yeah. Just... I never really composed anything so I'm gonna be hitting notes like a dickhead for a while until I manage to find a melody that sounds right."
Alex shrugged, "That's fine. Would you like to go to another room so you can do it in peace?" He subtly nodded towards Matt and Ella chuckled.
"Yes, please."
A few minutes later, Ella and Alex were settled in the keyboard room. She set the glockenspiel on the small table she was sitting in front of and Alex sat beside her with a Gibson J-45 on his lap.
She had no idea what to do first so she laughed embarrassed, hiding her face in her hands. "Alex what do I do?" Her giggles kept going as she felt her cheeks grow hot.
He laughed with her and started playing random chords to distract her, "Whatever you'd like, just go at it and when you play something you like try to write down the notes so you don't forget."
His journal was open then, in front of her with the pen he always used to write resting in the crease of the middle of the open book. The pages were blank and intimidating, she was so nervous for some reason and she didn't want to disappoint him so the pressure was even greater.
But after an hour, Ella found that making music with Alex was truly an easy smooth ride. He'd played different melodies, sometimes along with the random notes she was playing and when they'd fallen on a pattern that sounded beautiful, she gasped.
"No fucking way." She was truly blown away by the fact that she had been able to help in the making of something that sounded actually pretty.
He smiled proudly at her, "That was stunning. You remember the notes?"
She nodded eagerly, grabbing the pen with her right hand to start writing it down as she played it with her left hand slowly.
It was a tiny part, but it was a start and Alex seemed to really like it. Soon, Alex was playing away on the guitar like a door had been opened and the inspiration had just flooded out.
Alex raised his eyebrows expectantly when he was done with all he was coming up with, "That sound good?"
"Beautiful." She confirmed with a beaming grin on her face.
They went over it again and again, Ella timidly adding a few notes here and there which he always smiled and nodded to. She had a good sense of timing where to put them.
Ella listened to him attentively as he played the chorus again, "I think the bass coming on after the second chorus would lift it all up, maybe everyone could come in after it."
He had a thought, "Change it all, maybe to start a bridge..."
Ella nodded excitedly, that sounded great.
They went over it again, he was racking his brain trying to find anything that he wanted to sing about to such a slow-tempo song.
She'd seen times before how he mumbled as he played, trying to find the perfect words that fit the song, and how like that, slowly, the lines came to life.
On this occasion it wasn't different, the chorus being played by him over and over again as he formed sentences. He seemed to have settled for 'Mad sounds, in your ear. Make you get up and dance' and it sounded beautiful.
"What is it about?" She asked as he wrote the lyric in the journal, his handwriting contrasting against hers on the bottom of the page.
"Dunno yet." He stared at the words he'd just written, what did he want to write about?
"Sounds like the start of an ode to music."
His eyes went over the words again, seeing it in that light made sense. Maybe he'd try and make it go in that direction. "You're right, it does."
Ella smiled once again, feeling very much overjoyed at the new experience she'd just gone through. She was sad about the fact that she hadn't caught at least something on camera, having left it in the other room after the battery died earlier.
When they went back to where the rest of the band and James were, sipping on beer bottles as they chatted, her cheeks hurt from smiling. They showed them all what they'd come up with and Alex made sure they heard Ella's idea.
Matt had stood up and crushed Ella in a hug, "That sounds fucking lovely, welcome to the band Ellie." Her giggles filled the room as Matt squeezed her tighter and she tried to get away from him.
"Thanks but I'll leave that to y'all, I'm not a rockstar." Matt let go of her, and ruffled her hair just to annoy her. She shrieked as her hair came all over her face, she poked him in the ribs making him yelp so loud, it got a chesty laugh out of her.
Alex couldn't wipe the smile out of his face, nothing would. Not only had he gotten Ella to be part of this experience but she had enjoyed it, and seeing her genuinely happy was all he wanted. He'd have to get used to not having her with him in the way he wanted, as long as he had her as a friend then that'd have to be enough.
✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧
The days had gone by fast—between songs getting written on and wiped off the whiteboard they had on the room now, demos getting sent and returned, Ross Orton joining James Ford in the production of some of the songs, days they'd stayed well past the time they had planned, spending weekends at different places of the city. The year was going incredibly well so far.
One afternoon of the very last week of January, they had found themselves rather bored and stuck. They had gone to a pub the night before and they'd been absolutely plastered before it was even two in the morning.
Ella vaguely remembered holding Breana's hair back as she heaved in the pub's bathroom from her attempt at taking consecutive shots of tequila.
So they were all wearing sunglasses indoors, the curtains were closed—but it wasn't doing much because they were pretty much see-through—, sitting in the worst positions on the settees.
"Shouldn't we have just taken the day off?" Jamie wondered with a groan, he had drank just enough but having to basically carry Nick out of the pub to the cab and out of the cab and to the hotel was what had exhausted him completely. "Not even James, nor Ross are coming today."
"It was already booked for us, mate." Replied Alex, his head thrown back and resting on the back of the settee.
Ella grimaced as she sat back straighter and reached for her bag, she smiled seeing the ziplock bag she'd brought with her. She didn't even know why she'd thought it would be the best idea to bring them to the studio but if there was a possibility of nursing their hangovers then she'd take it.
"Would these help?" She lifted the plastic bag in the air, it said 'sandwich bag' and it made her chuckle because inside there could be seen five thick spliffs waiting to be smoked.
No one really cared to see what it was. Ten in the morning was too early for them to want to be there, but when she moved the bag around in the air and opened it, the smell of weed hit them so suddenly that they instantly perked up.
Alex straightened up beside her, taking his sunglasses off and squinting to adjust to the light coming from outside. "What the fuck?"
Nick cleared his throat, "Didn't know you smoked."
"Don't be too surprised." She shrugged, getting her lighter and resting the ziplock bag on her lap, "University parties get you started quite easily..." She trailed off trying to figure out how it would work out, "Should we just pass it around or do each of you want your own?"
"Let's pass it around, so we can smoke for longer." Jamie said logically, he'd rather smoke slowly and throughout the day than finish the weed in fifteen minutes and then have to endure the day being sleepy and still hungover.
Ella lit up the first one, taking a long drag of it and relishing in the familiar feeling of the smoke in her throat. She let the smoke out and passed the spliff to Alex, who mirrored her actions.
By the time the second spliff was done, they were chatting about stupid things. They'd gotten hungry and seeing that it was past noon, they all settled in ordering McDonald's—there had been an overall consensus on how it was the best food to have while high.
They had basically smoked the whole day and when they had smoked the last two, consecutively, it was already nighttime. They were all outside stargazing, the blue of the night so piercing that the spheres of plasma contrasted brightly against it and let their presence known to anyone who could catch it.
For some reason she had started going on and on about everything she knew about galaxies, space and celestial objects. Surprisingly, the lads encouraged her to keep going which ended up in all of them agreeing on how, as kids, they thought that by 2013 they'd be driving flying cars and being able to buy lightsabers at the shops—even admitting that they'd thought time traveling would've been a thing already.
That's how they had ended up back in the recording room, completely determined on how they had to make a song about it all. She'd sat beside Alex, reading the things they'd all come up with and nodding like it was the best line ever written. Jamie was playing the guitar and Nick his bass, Matt patting his thighs as he analyzed what his friends were composing.
She wasn't sure what had happened afterwards as she woke up and found herself sleeping on the biggest settee of their usual recording room. Alex was sleeping on the one adjacent and Matt was snoring away on the floor, with a cushion under his head.
Her groan made the two men stir in their slumber. She grabbed her phone that was thrown in a corner of the room and saw that it was five in the morning. Her back was killing her, why the fuck hadn't we just taken a cab home? she wondered as she walked out to the bathroom.
From afar she saw Jamie sleeping peacefully on the settee in the keyboards room and Nick sleeping on the one by the kitchen.
She was grateful she had been way too hungover to actually do her makeup the day before so the smudge of her mascara was very minimal and she got rid of it easily by washing her face.
Once she was done, she went to the kitchen to make some coffee for everyone. She was drinking a glass of water when Nick's voice startled her.
"Good morning, why the fuck did we sleep here?" Since he'd just woken up, his voice was so much deeper than usual and it actually surprised her.
"I have no idea, I don't even remember at what time we fell asleep."
Nick sighed, rubbing his eyes and stood up slowly. "What time is it?"
"Like five twenty" She cringed, it was still dark out but the birds could be heard singing softly.
The bassist cussed and left to use the toilet. She poured herself and Nick a cup of coffee, it was piping hot as it had just been made in the coffee maker the studio had.
It took about half an hour for everyone to wake up, Matt being the last and the one who complained the most.
"Why would yous let me sleep on the fucking floor?" He said through his teeth, making an appearance in the kitchen.
Jamie scoffed, "I tried to get you on one of the settees but you ran back to the main room saying you had to add something to the song."
Ella remembered then that they had all made a song, "Oh my god... We made a song, didn't we?" They all nodded, sipping on their coffees. "Fuck, I don't even know if I wanna listen to it."
But as soon as they finished with their drinks and they had washed and dried it all, they went to the recording room to hear the demo. The bass was prominent in it, and the guitars complimented it perfectly. Alex's voice was slurred and it made them all laugh, but they quieted down at the guitar solo by the end of the recording.
"The guitars are fucking sick in this one." Ella said in appreciation, she was not expecting something actually that good when they had all been in the worst state.
Nick agreed, looping it back to hear the guitar solo once more. "Has b-side potential, to be fair."
They played it once more, hearing the lyrics more closely this time.
It's two thousand and thirteen all across the galaxy
It's two thousand and thirteen
So, baby, take a walk with me
Past flying cars and time machines
There's magic like you won't believe
Ella let the song reach its end to comment, "We are aware that the galaxy is far older, right? Like..." She paused to clear her dry throat, "It was only Jesus who was supposedly born two thousand and thirteen years ago, not the galaxy..."
Matt let out a loud sigh, "Ellie, we're not high anymore so stop nerding out."
"That's just common knowledge–" She argued.
"Ella." He replied sternly.
"Matthew J Helders the third," She said back in the same tone. "Shut. Up."
"Yes Matt, fuck off." Nick sided with Ella and Jamie repeated the same phrase to support the motion.
The drummer scoffed, "Why am I being bullied right now?"
"Because you deserve it." Alex replied this time.
Matt frowned, "I do not."
"I still remember you slandering Bre's favorite Fleetwood Mac record so if you want to keep your stunning girlfriend then shut up."
That had been the only reason why Matt stood quiet for a good ten seconds, and then he told her. "I can't stand you."
Ella gave him a cynical smile, "The feeling is mutual."
Jamie cackled at them, "You two are like fucking siblings arguing, I swear."
Before they could continue bickering though, they heard the front door being opened and closed and by the time they went out to see who it was, they were greeted by the sight of David coming in.
"Good morning everyone," Dave greeted with a smile on his face. "Was coming to check on you, how are you feeling? Slept well?"
Alex nodded, "Yeah mate, thanks very much."
"I tried to get you all a ride home but you all agreed on staying so..." The bearded man added and they all nodded.
"Thank you for letting us stay, man." Matt patted his back in gratitude. "We're just gonna go pick everything up and then we'll leave."
They didn't have the studio booked for the next few days so they gathered all of their stuff up and tidied the rest of the things they had used. They left the place as the sun rose up, Ella waved them off as she took the opposite direction to where they were going. Alex saw the sun hitting the little mirrorball hanging from her rearview mirror, making the light reflect all over the inside of her car.
"Love you guys! Bye!" She yelled out her rolled down window, disappearing into the highway.
✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧
Things had been going normal. After those three days they'd had in a sense of a small break, they had gone back to the studio with fresh ideas and the energy buzzed in the room whenever they were all together.
Ella had been more and more invested in the whole process, sometimes asking each of the guys what different things did or how they managed to get an instrument to sound the way it did in their demos. James had gotten used to having Ella beside him in the days Ross wasn't at the studio.
She was usually there first, smoking away as she waited for them, greeting whoever arrived first with a lovely smile and her arms open and ready for a hug.
That's why at the start of the second week of February, Alex had been incredibly confused at not seeing her already there when he got to Rancho de la Luna at eight in the morning.
He greeted David, asking him if Ella was already inside and when he shook his head, the singer's confusion grew. Maybe she'll be late today, he'd told himself so he didn't worry but just in case, he'd left her a text.
(11/02/2013 08:13) Hi Ellie, good morning. Around what time are you coming today? Was surprised to not see you when I got here xx
Slowly, everyone started coming in and when James got to the studio at around ten in the morning, that's when Alex started worrying even more. They hadn't seen her as she usually didn't go to the studio on the weekends like them, where is she? She wasn't one to just miss a work day or be late and not say anything.
Around noon, Matt had gotten a call from Breana—who was currently out in New York for a modeling gig—and Alex would've teased him about how they truly couldn't live without the other if it wasn't for Matt's worried facial expression.
The call was rather quick and all of his replies were meek, it was strange for him to talk like that with Bre so he started to wonder if they had fought or something, but then Matt had told her "Alright, I love you" with a loopy grin on his face before he hung up that had Alex discarding the thought.
Everyone was looking at him expectantly because the call seemed to have had a negative effect on his mood and they wanted to know if everything was alright.
Matt sighed, "Ellie's not gonna make it today, maybe not even the rest of the week." Alex's heart sank at the thought of something having happened to her that could keep her from going to the studio. "She's not feeling very well apparently."
Alex felt his whole body grow cold and it was an instant reaction for him to pick up his phone and leave the room to call her.
He dialed her number over and over for about ten times but none were answered, so he went back to texting her in hopes that it was just that she was ill and had fallen asleep.
(11/02/2013 12:06) Ellie, is everything okay? Bre's just called saying you weren't feeling good and that you'll be missing the next few days here. Just let me know when you see this that you're fine xx
(11/02/2013 12:07) Did you catch a cold? I'll come over with some soup for you, I promise I make the best chicken noodle soup (either it is good or my mum lied) xx
(11/02/2013 12:08) You're probably asleep and I'm being an absolute knob making your phone ring over and over. I'll stop now but just let me know what's going on. Sending you loads of hugs xxxx
The more Alex stared at the clock, the slower time went by. He was too distracted to care about what was going on in the recording room, everyone having to bring him back to reality every five minutes.
By the time it was one thirty in the afternoon, he hadn't been able to take it any longer so he excused himself and ran outside to call Breana. He didn't even care if he'd be interrupting her photoshoot by calling her over and over, he had to know if Ella was okay.
When he rang her for the fifth time, he got his call answered. "Jesus Christ, Alex, is everything alright?"
He was so relieved the model finally picked up, "Yes. Everything's good. Just... Ella. What happened to Ella? Is she okay?"
Breana felt silent, only the shutter of the camera and the clicking of heels on the floor was heard for a few seconds, "Erm, yes. She's just not feeling well."
"Did she get ill? I've been trying to call her and she won't answer." His voice was laced with worry and that wasn't missed by Bre.
Silence again, "Yes..." Bre replied but it sounded like a question and that's when Alex knew she was full of shit.
"Bre, what happened? Is she okay?" His voice got firmer, he didn't understand why she'd be keeping quiet about anything happening to her best friend.
She sighed, "Alex, she's not feeling well and that's all that I can tell you. I promised her I wouldn't say anything else."
"So something did happen," The singer insisted, "Bre, at least let me know her address so I can go check up on her."
"Alex–" The model started in protest but he was quick to interrupt her.
"Bre, you're far away and not coming back until next week. At least let me be the one to check up on her. I just wanna know if she's okay." He heard her sigh and when the line stood silent he continued, "I don't care if she's just ill and you probably think I'm overreacting, I'd rather do that and find out she's okay than brush it off and find out afterwards that something worst has happened and she's been alone."
"Fucking hell, Alex," Breana cursed, giving into his point. "I'll send you it in a text, but just... let me know how she's doing when you get there okay? And hug her tightly for me, please."
He felt like he could finally breathe, "'Course. Cheers, Bre."
It was only seconds after hanging up that Breana sent him Ella's address through text. His hands were sweaty as he went back inside and told the lads he'd be leaving for the day. He didn't even give them time to ask why, because he was out the door as soon as he'd finished his sentence.
Ella's home was only an hour away from the studio but traffic had held him back forty minutes, he'd been fidgeting in his seat all the way to her medium sized one floor house which was painted a gorgeous light green color.
Alex was quick to park his rental-car on her driveway which only had her car present, he figured she had her bike inside her garage. Without missing a beat, he got out of the car and with long fast strides reached her white door and knocked on it.
A long minute went by and no one was opening the door, he knocked harder and rang the doorbell before knocking furiously again. He heard shuffling behind the door and he was relieved but when the door opened, he felt every bit of worry fall over him like a ton of bricks.
Ella was still in her pajamas—a big gray shirt almost covering her red flannel shorts—, her eyes were puffy and just as red as her nose, her hair was a mess in tangles on a bun atop of her head and she had a glass half full on her right hand.
The last person she'd expected was the singer to be standing outside her door, "Alex, what are you doing here?" She was so tired of everything, she just wanted to be alone and wallowing in self pity not having to worry about how she looked and how she was dealing with the shit show that had just unfolded in her life.
"Hey Ellie," His voice was so soft, she was surprised at how just hearing him had felt like a hug. "Are you okay?" He asked, very much worried but not really knowing what to do.
"How did you even find my address? Did Ben or Aaron give you it, I'll kill them." She ranted, on the brink of exploding in anger. Her emotions were a mess, she was a mess, she had no idea what the fuck to do anymore. Nothing made sense to her anymore.
"No, no, I had to beg Bre for it, but what's wrong?" He wanted to know why she looked so broken or, if anything, he just wanted to comfort her. "What are you even drinking?" He took a step towards her and into her house and she stepped back but with the sigh she'd let out, the alcohol in her breath hit him. "Ellie, it's only three in the afternoon."
She laughed, without a hint of humor, "Alex, I truly rather be drunk right now. I do not fucking care what time it is."
He shook his head, watching her leave so he closed the door behind him and followed her steps. "No, absolutely not." He stated and tried to get the glass from her.
"Yes Alex," She downed what was left on the glass before he could get to her, wincing at the whiskey burning her throat. "I've run out of cigarettes, have no weed, I look too crazy to even bother going out to get shit and all I have is whiskey and a few bottles of wine." She used her fingers to count all the misfortunes that had come after the blow she'd taken the night before.
She turned to the whiskey bottle and poured herself another glass, way too full, but it was what she needed. She took a gulp of it and whispered a curse after it struggled to go down her throat.
"Ella, you're gonna have to stop right now." His words were firm, he was trying to be patient but he didn't want her drinking her problems away.
She rolled her eyes, setting the glass down harshly so the alcohol splashed around it. "Alex– I truly don't need you to be logical right now." She took a deep shaky breath and continued, "Just leave okay? You've seen I'm alive. I'm just not feeling good so just go, you have shit to do much more important than me and my fucking mess of a life." The way her voice broke saying that last sentence had him frowning deeper, he wanted to do something, anything to stop feeling the hurt she clearly was was feeling.
"What's wrong, darling? Talk to me." Alex hadn't called her that in a long time, not after he'd caught his mistake in doing that after that call at the Olympics opening ceremony, but he just couldn't help it. He'd tried to reach for her hand but she'd flinched away at the pet name.
It had made her wince, thinking back to what Arielle had told her the month prior about how Alex had called her that as he'd fucked her dumb. She felt so fucking pathetic, so far from special. Am I the problem? She had wondered that all night, as she cried herself to sleep.
She was tired of crying but she couldn't stop it. She was tired of people making her cry, making her believe that she wasn't worthy of anything.
She slowly turned around, sighing heavily before admitting, "He fucking cheated, Al."
Alex felt a blow to his chest, "What?"
Ella's tears cascaded down automatically, breaking his heart in a million little pieces for her. "He's fucking cheated on me, I–" She started but she had to stop as a sob ripped through her. "And you wanna know how I found out? Because his parents caught him in a lie. He told them he'd be going out on dinner with me and when they went to surprise us, they found him with someone else." Her voice raised as she narrated everything, fury in her eyes and the heartbreak making her tremble.
"He fucking admitted to it to them, how he's been seeing this girl for over a month, but when they told him he had to tell me the truth, he fucking refused." A loud scoff came from her, "His mom has had to fucking call me and tell me because this fucking cunt didn't have the balls to say it." She was so baffled, sobbing in disbelief.
Why does it always happen to me? She'd asked herself so many times, she had given up on an answer.
She sniffled, wiping her nose, "So now I've had to break up with him over the fucking phone because I know I wouldn't have been able to do it in person."
Alex walked slowly to get closer to her, not wanting to startle her. "Ellie I'm–" His words were cut by Ella's words of desperation.
"I fucking wanted to marry him Alex! I thought he was it for me!" Pure agony was what was filling every inch of her body and soul. "We had started trying for a baby." She broke down in loud sobs that made her hiccup as she tried to get oxygen back in her lungs.
Alex had no idea what to say to that, he wanted to do nothing more than to murder Julian after torturing him in the most sadistic ways. But she was his priority, making her feel better was what he had to do. He was quick to envelope her in a tight hug, she cried harder hidden in his chest as she fisted his maroon shirt.
Her tears bleed through his shirt and it felt like her heartache was burning his skin. "I just want this hurt gone, I feel like my chest is caving in, Al. I want it gone. Please." Ella begged and her body trembled in his arms. In that moment, all he could think was how he'd do anything to be able to take away the pain from her—he'd carry all of her burdens if it meant she'd be eternally happy, like she deserved.
His left hand was rubbing up and down her back, his right hand holding her head to his chest. He softly shushed her trying to calm her down in the slightest, he had never been good at consoling crying women, but for Ella he'd try and excel at anything she needed from him. "It's gonna be alright Ellie, I promise. You are gonna be okay."
Alex had her walk to the settee with him, she just let him guide her as her cries did nothing but increase.
Pathetic, pitiful, worthless, meaningless, replaceable.
That's all she felt about herself and she hated it, with a deep burning passion.
Alex sat down with her and she scooted onto his side, needing the warmth of his touch around her. She needed someone even if she didn't want to admit it and Alex was determined on keeping his hold on her for as long as she wanted it to.
His fingers started scratching her head, making her relax in her arms. Her sobs started to quiet down after five minutes and her breath slowed down.
"I'm here okay? I'm not leaving." He assured her, looking down at her still shielding on his chest.
She nodded, and she whined softly at the waves of memories coming back to her trying to push her back into a breakdown.
It had been like that since she'd gotten the phone call the night before, she would cry for hours and eventually calm down finding some sleep which was interrupted by the situation being reflected in her dreams, making her start sobbing all over again. She'd only gotten a total of three hours of sleep the night before.
A thought flashed through her head, making her break the hug as her skin crawled in disgust for herself. "I hate this so much," She muttered, recoiling to the corner of the settee, the furthest she could from Alex. "I'm gonna have to go and get tested now, not only for pregnancy but for everything else 'cause I don't even know who he's been fucking. I feel so disgusting."
The singer scooted closer to her, rubbing her arms which were hugging her folded legs closely to her chest.
"He's an absolute prick. I'm so sorry, Ellie. I really truly am." His honesty was so clear but she couldn't take it.
She started crying again, shaking her head. "You have nothing to apologize for. He should be."
That made Alex scowl, "Did he not?"
Ella chuckled entirely unamused at the memory of her phone call to him that had happened earlier that day. "He did, over and over but it just made me sick. He said it so many times it started sounding weird. He didn't mean it at all. He's only sorry for himself, that he got caught."
"I want to kill him." Alex said simply.
Her face contorted in pity for herself, because she still felt how much she loved him. "I want this to be a sick and twisted joke." Her chin wobbled, and he knew exactly what it meant.
Of course she still loved him. That's the type of person she was, always a giver. And she never half assed anything so when she loved, she loved in the very best way: passionately and endlessly. He knew that from the way she talked about her family, her friends, her hobbies, her job.
She threw herself in his arms again and sobbed away, none of them noticing how she was basically straddling his lap and how her breasts were pressed against his chest. Her face was buried on his neck and his arms wrapped around her again, the same way they had been doing before. He could feel the erratic thumping of her heart on the other side of his.
It had been an hour that it had taken Ella to exhaust herself to sleep. When her breathing slowed down and he heard one of her soft snores in his ear, he felt relief flooding his system. He knew then that hated seeing her cry, he hated seeing her in despair, sleep deprived—her dark circles were prominent when she'd opened the door and the sunlight hit her face—, relying on alcohol to drown her sorrows.
She deserved so much better.
He stood up from the sofa with her still in his arms, slowly to not wake her up but not even if he had been more careless could she have startled awake. She was in a deep sleep, having found comfort after long hours of misery.
He set her down on her bed, which was still unmade but not that messy which confirmed to him that she hadn't slept well at all the previous night. The covers were soon over her and all the way up to her chin, she'd let out a sound of satisfaction as she snuggled her pillows.
Alex decided to kick his shoes off and sit beside her, watching her peacefully sleep. Sometimes she'd flinch and start crying, hot tears falling from her closed eyes and wetting the pillow under her head. He'd rub her back, whispering 'you're okay, you're okay' until she settled back down, but it hurt him having to see her like that in the first place.
He felt so helpless.
After about three hours, seeing that she was in deep slumber, he thought it would be good for him to get some food. She had definitely not eaten at all that day so she'd be hungry when she woke up. He slowly put his shoes on and exited her house, grabbing her house keys and writing a little note before leaving.
Alex let himself smile fondly at the Tennessee keychain she had, a little silver cowboy boot it was and it reminded him of her mirrorball.
He had seen a few restaurants about ten minutes from her house so he settled for proximity rather than finding a restaurant he knew was good. The thing he least wanted was for her to wake up and see him gone, even if he had left a note.
The singer had decided to get some films from the redbox rental her neighborhood Walgreens had, wanting her to get distracted and enjoy herself for a little.
Despite him rushing to get back as soon as possible, and getting annoyed at himself for taking much longer than anticipated, when he got back she was still asleep. But it was eight in the evening then, so he had to wake her up to have her eat.
He dropped everything he'd gotten slowly on her kitchen counter and he walked carefully into her room. The bed dipping beside her had her stirring, so he felt less bad when he started brushing her hair back and softly whispered her name to have her wake up.
She'd hummed in response to hearing her name being called and he grinned at her pout, she was so effortlessly breathtaking—it was beyond his understanding.
"C'mon darling, I brought you some food." He finally said and she mumbled gibberish in response, "There's ice cream too and some films."
Her eyes slowly peeled open, her pout was replaced by a frown because she didn't remember much of how the hell Alex had ended up in her house.
Regardless, she rubbed her eyes awake and yawned. Slowly but surely she got up and threaded to the bathroom to freshen up, Alex told her he'd be serving their food in the kitchen and to join him when she was ready.
Twenty minutes later, she was out of the bathroom. Freshly showered, with her hair damp and wetting the back of her shirt. She'd changed her pjs for a 'Queens of the Stone Age' big shirt and some joggers.
Alex wanted to coo, seeing her hugging herself as she walked to the living room where he had set everything up. Italian food—her favorite—, a few bottles of Mexican coke he'd found in a bodega next to Walgreens, and 'Sherlock Holmes' ready to play on her TV.
Ella felt a knot tightening up in her throat, she was sure what she'd needed was to be miserable by herself until she'd cried all of her tears but seeing him there, sitting in her living room after having brought her food and shit that would make her feel better with the sweetest smile on his face, reminded her that she needed someone to help her during tough times.
Her pout grew on her face, and Alex was quick to stop her from getting herself worked out over nothing. "Hey, Ellie. It's okay, c'mere." She nodded and walked towards him, tears slowly filling her eyes and threatening to spill. He turned to her once she was sitting beside him and brushed his thumbs on the apples of her cheeks, "Don't cry okay? Let's watch a film and eat well so we can have a good sleep tonight, yeah?"
A tear slipped down and he was quick to wipe it, he pressed a kiss on her forehead to then turn and grab her plate for her. "Here," He handed her the plate, "Spinach ravioli bolognese, your favorite."
A pathetic little chuckle fell from her lips as she received the dish, it indeed was her favorite. "Oh, you remember."
He watched her as she placed the plate on her lap, sitting straight next to him. "Of course I do. I remember loads of things," But it wasn't about that in this situation, so he got her excited for the movie. "Have you seen this one? People say it's great."
Ella had been sure she wasn't hungry but at the smell of her favorite food reaching her nose, her stomach growled. She blushed, shaking her head at Alex's question, "I haven't, no."
Alex smiled at her, and pressed play but as the opening credits rolled, he pushed her softly to start eating. "I wanna know if you like it, try a little bit."
"Well, how different can it be from any other place? I'm sure it's good." Ella replied as she stirred some of the sauce around with her fork.
"Just a bite," He negotiated, "For me?"
The pout on his face seemed to twist her arm, she gave him a tight lip smile before she shoved a bite into her mouth. Her smile got bigger then, as she savored the food. "It's really good," He smiled, pleased to see that she liked it. "Thank you, Al."
He nodded before grabbing his own plate and they both ate slowly as the film played. It had gotten her giggling and quietly gasping at different moments, which made his heart swell inside of him. When the end credits rolled, he asked her if she'd liked it to which she gave him an excited nod of her head. She was smiling, small grins, but it was what he wanted to get from her.
Alex took the dishes to wash them and Ella followed after him with the empty coke bottles and complained about him doing the dishes in her house. He just stared at her right in the eyes as he quickly washed what they'd used and his smirk got bigger the more she complained.
"You're annoying." Ella simply stated when he was done.
Alex chuckled and walked over to her fridge, "Would some ice cream help you forgive me for being annoying?"
"Maybe..."
She took out two small bowls and two spoons, pointing him to where she had her ice cream scooper and thanked him when he filled her bowl with three big servings of the sweet dessert.
They went back to her living room, to play the next one. He'd changed the discs quickly in her DVD player and played the new movie in record time, "I've actually seen this one already, pretty good. You'll like it."
She saw Ryan Gosling on the cover of the DVD case and nodded, "Give me anything Ryan Gosling and I'll love it."
He laughed, and nodded, "Brilliant." and turned to watch the screen just as 'Drive' showed on the screen.
About thirty minutes into the movie, Alex's phone started going off so he excused himself to go outside and pick it up.
It was Breana, who had been texting him over and over because he hadn't given her an update on Ella like he'd promised. He cursed under his breath and closed the door behind him. He'd told Ella to keep watching but she was honestly just trying to please him by watching it with him. She'd been lost in her thoughts all through the start of it, seeing the main characters subtly flirt with one another had made her tragedies catch up to her again and made her silently crumble.
She'd left two of her windows open since the morning, when she'd been smoking her sorrows away until she ran out, so she could hear what Alex was saying.
"Hi, I'm so sorry," She knew he'd lit up a cigarette because she could smell the burning tobacco making its way inside her house. "Got caught up with everything and forgot about my phone." She heard nothing but silence for a few seconds until he started debriefing, "She's okay. I had her sleep for a few hours and got her food, we've been eating and watching some films." She was so confused as to who he was talking to but then he mentioned a name that had her in the brink of tears again. "Bre, I–. Yes, she was crying a lot but she's stopped for now." She wanted nothing more than for her best friend to be there but, alas, Ella's life seemed to be highlighted by always having the worst timing. "If she lets me then yes, I don't want her to be alone while she's going through this. Much less if there's a slight possibility of that cunt coming to bother her."
It didn't sound like jealousy in his voice, just plain anger at what Julian had done to her and in that moment she realized that maybe Alex and her were meant to be friends. Despite the direction things had taken when they'd first met, maybe they were meant to have a strong friendship so they could be there for each other, have each other's backs.
Ella realized how good it felt to have him there with her, because he understood her in a way that only a few people did and he made her feel calm. She needed that.
His voice could be heard further away as she went to her kitchen after pausing the movie and saw the other things that Alex had bought for her: two little bags of gummies, a dark chocolate bar, another Mexican coke, and a pack of Marlboro reds.
He was a life saver, truly.
She opened the pack and grabbed a cigarette, placed it on her mouth and, after closing her windows down, she joined him outside.
He'd gotten scared by the sudden movement at the door behind him, she laughed as she came to stand beside him and he lit her cigarette up at her silent question for it.
"Thank you." She muttered and he smiled in response.
Alex nodded and hummed at whatever Breana was saying, "Yes, Bre, I know and I won't. You have my word." A cloud of smoke left his lips when he chuckled, "I'll text you later, bye."
Ella watched through the corner of her eye as he hung up and placed his phone in the back pocket of his jeans.
"Thought I told you to keep watching without me." His gaze came over her, watching her relish in the bad habit they both had.
"You did, but I needed a breather." Ella admitted.
Alex nodded and they both fell to their tangled thoughts. She was lost trying to find answers to the one question echoing the most in her head, why? And he was stuck thinking about what he could do to switch her hurt for brief moments of joy.
"Are you feeling better?"
It took her a minute to answer, her eyes lost in the sky and the sight of the moon. So beautiful and unbothered, shining over every single person on Earth so effortlessly.
"It's a weird thing, honestly. I feel just... numb. Like I'm in shock and don't even know if what's happened is real but then I suddenly feel it all coming over me like I'm getting swallowed by fire and I'm burning alive, but somehow the emptiness I feel in my chest overpowers it all." Word vomit, that's what it had been and she shook her head at herself. "I'm talking out of my ass, aren't I?" Pathetic.
But when Alex instantly shook his head, she felt relieved. "No, you're not. He deserves hell, Ellie, not you. And he surely doesn't deserve your tears or your heartache." He threw the last of his cigarette on the floor and took two steps to be right beside her. He threw his arm around her shoulders and let it fall until he could hug her tightly to his side.
She let her head fall on his shoulder, "I've begged for hours that this is a nightmare but I've pinched myself enough times to know I'm unfortunately awake."
"I'm sorry, Ellie." He kissed the top of her head, and then rested his cheek on it. "But I know you, and I know you're gonna be okay. The shadow of his actions that's following you right now will wither away in time, but it will haunt him till the end of his days."
Tears had started falling again but this time in frustration when she explained, "I hate that my brain wants him to suffer but my heart is begging to spare him some mercy."
"Your heart will catch up, just be patient with it."
He was so good at just saying things like that, it blew her away really. "God, you're so poetic. No wonder you ended up a musician." She felt his chest tremble as he laughed, the cold breeze was a nice contrast to the warmth she felt by being held by Alex. "Thank you, by the way."
That had him lifting his head to look down at her, "What for?"
Ella was still pressed to his side but she tilted her head back slightly to look up at him. "The food, the movies, the candy, the cigarettes, letting me ruin your shirt with my tears, letting me ruin your day with my tragedies, begging Bre for my address, spending the day with me..." She was glad he was there, she was glad to have him. "You're a true friend, Alex Turner."
It hurt, 'friend', but he promised himself that that'd have to be enough for him so it would. He gave her the sweetest smile, "No need to thank me darling, I will always be here for you. No matter what." And he meant that���even if he was on the other side of the world, he was determined to always be there for her. "And you didn't ruin my day, if anything you saved me from Matt being insufferable since Bre is in New York."
She giggled, wiping her tears with her right hand. "Ugh, yeah. He must be unbearable."
Ella decided she was done with her cigarette, so she flicked it and watched it die in the ground of her driveway a couple of feet from her and Alex. She brought her arm to circle around Alex's waist and squeezed him softly, "Let's go back inside."
Alex nodded and dropped his arm from around her, Ella started walking ahead of him back to the front door but stopped in her steps when Alex spun her around by her wrist and crushed her in a hug.
"That one's from Bre," The singer said in her ear, "Forgot to deliver it until now, sorry."
She melted in laughter in his hold. He was such an idiot and she was so damn grateful he'd pestered Bre into giving him her address because she truly didn't know what it would've been of her if she'd spent the day completely alone.
They went back inside and finished the film, which ended up being really good and she'd be sure it would be one she'd watch more times in the future. It wasn't too late, barely midnight but she was falling asleep slowly, the exhaustion catching up to her.
Her yawn made him turn to her, he was gonna have her go to bed and then leave but she offered him to stay before she could even stand up from the settee.
Alex accepted, of course. If Ella hadn't offered, he knew he'd go back to the hotel and then be at her door in the morning to make sure she was alright.
She showed him the guest room and reminded him of where the bathroom was. She'd offered him clothes for him to sleep in but he kindly turned them down as he was fine just sleeping in his underwear.
He had managed to get some sleep for a few hours when he was suddenly woken up by her sobs at three in the morning. He wasn't sure what the noise was at first, too sleep drunk to grasp any logic but when he realized it was her crying, his heart broke.
Alex debated within himself if it would be good to just go and get her to calm down or if he should just let her cry it out but when he heard silence and then another heart ripping sob, he got up and walked to her room.
He knocked softly on her door twice before opening the door, his heart broke seeing her against her headboard hugging her legs. The brightness coming from her phone screen was the only thing keeping the room from being absolutely pitch black.
She saw him blurry through the tears, his hair ruffled and his clothes on his body messily. He hadn't had time to properly button his shirt up, too busy trying to check on her as soon as he could to put every button in its correct place.
"Ellie..." Alex cooed, approaching her as she sniffled, trying to calm herself down.
The second he reached her bed and sat beside her, he saw exactly what she'd been doing. She'd been looking at pictures of her and Julian, not the ones that she'd post but the random domestic ones like the one currently frozen in time on her phone. She looked to have been doing her makeup when he interrupted with a hug, their smiles so big on their faces it made her shiver—it felt like those two people in the picture were making fun of her.
Alex locked her phone and in a quick motion hugged her to his chest.Ella broke down all over again, clutching him like it was the only way she'd hold onto reality and not lose her mind altogether.
"Let's not do that, alright?" He suggested, rubbing her back.
She trembled under his touch from the force and continuity of her sobs, it had been such a stupid idea to go through her phone before going to sleep. Her nod was so small that he'd missed it but he continued on consoling her, pressing kisses to her head and talking in her ear.
"You're okay. He's a fucking idiot. He doesn't deserve your tears. He didn't and doesn't deserve you."
There was sweet conviction laced in his words, somehow Alex telling her helped more than if she tried to tell herself. It resonated more, it echoed louder inside her mind.
"I just don't understand it." Ella hated having to bring it all up again, but when it was all silence around her was when the questions would hunt her down. "A fucking month, he's been fucking someone else and sneaking off while I've been here like a love struck puppy stupidly waiting for him to come back. I feel so used and so stupid."
He lifted his head from where it had been resting on top of hers, so that she'd look at him. It was so dark but he could clearly see the soft sparkle of her eyes. "You're not stupid, Ella. You're the smartest one of us all."
She bit her lip trying not to cry again, chin wobbling at her naivety. "I'm clearly not. I didn't see it happening right in front of my eyes. Fuck knows if she was the only one." She let her head fall back, pressed against her headboard while she stared at the ceiling. The ceiling was the only part of her room she could see that didn't spark memories. "He's everywhere I look, Alex. Every inch of my house is tarnished with him and it's making me feel sick."
Her breath faltered, tears rolling down the corner of her eyes and falling down her temples. She'd started spiraling when she closed her door and suddenly her eyes seemed to only fall on bits that reminded of him. And she had tried her hardest to ignore it, to just think of anything else and let it pass but her heart ached to look back at every moment they'd spent together and she'd been too weak to say no.
Too weak, too naive. Stupid, stupid, stupid. All she felt was stupid.
The more her tears fell on his shoulder, the more Alex could hear her heart tearing apart. "I know, darling. But it will get better."
She straightened up, as her insides filled with anguish. She had no hope left. "I don't see how it can. He was everything. My everything."
He squeezed her tighter and she lifted her head up to rest on his shoulder again. His hand unwavering as it rubbed up and down her arm, warming the coldness in her. How could someone blatantly ruin someone like this? It was so insolent. "I know it's easier said than done, but you'll forget. You'll make new memories to replace the tarnished ones. And with time, the hurt will go and the beauty will remain." Because she seemed to glow so bright when was with Julian and he'd hate to see her dull away.
Ella started crying even more, "How stupid is it that I don't want to let the memories go though? I do this all the fucking time, I cling to every bit I have left of people until I just become numb to losing them one random day. But it's just an endless loop of torture until I get to that point, why can't I just skip this all?" It had only been a day, and she was already exhausted. "I don't even want to be in my own bedroom anymore."
"I know, I know." His hand left her arm to start scratching her head, he smiled slowly when he heard her sigh in content at the feeling. "But think about how this room could easily become your salvation if you ever accidentally let Matt and Breana stay over. And you know how shameless they can be—you'll have to start a new life just in here so you don't accidentally get flashed with Matt's arse. And believe me you really don't. Not a pretty sight at all." That was his awful attempt to lighten her mood up and it seemed to have worked when she snorted and her body shook with laughter.
In between chuckles she managed to respond, "You're an idiot."
Alex hummed a 'no', faux-defensive. "No, Breana is the idiot for going for someone like Matt. Me and you both saw him when we were high in the studio. That line about the galaxy being two thousand years old was definitely him."
"It definitely was." Ella agreed, why would he have gotten so offended by her correction if not.
"Yeah, we're not that stupid." He further backed his point.
But Ella was quick to scoff, "No, not at all Mr. 'Little tiny fruit coming after you'. How high did you get? Rude of you to not share your hallucinogens with me."
He let out a small gasp in fake disbelief, "I've never done such a thing, Miss Hayes."
"I don't believe you. No one writes such a shit song on just weed alone."
"Okay enough of your backchat." Alex argued, but he broke out in laughter at her chosen adjective to the song. "I know it's shit but it's still getting put out, it was a very monumental moment for us. New band member and all."
She moved her head up and tilted it back to look at him with an amused expression, "Yeah, very monumental with your new Glockenspiel player bandmate that doesn't even play a thing in it." The sarcasm making him giggle and the contagious sound had her giggling with him.
After their laughter died back down, Ella felt the ball move back up her throat. And maybe it was the way she held him that little bit tighter which gave her away, but Alex didn't hesitate to pull her the tiniest bit closer and continue to stroke her arm as he asked, "You don't have to stay in here if you don't want to, we can go in the other room?"
She wanted to accept, knowing at least that would make her feel better but the brief feeling of comfort would end up in something worse, "I won't come back in here if I do that... I can't let him take more from me. He's already chewed my heart up, he's not taking anything else."
"Atta girl, see? You're already in the right direction." He could only encourage her. After all, she was going to go about it at her own pace and he'd just be there with her through it.
"I just want the pain to go away. It's not fair." It really wasn't, she couldn't help but think how she was breaking down over and over while Julian could be enjoying his time with whoever it was he'd been seeing. "There's no way he's sobbing at god knows what hour in the morning like I am. How is that fair, Al?"
"It's not, darling." The whole situation infuriated him beyond belief, he wanted to seek revenge for her but not more than he wanted to strip her of the heartbreak. "I wish I could take it all away for you. I really wish I could."
"I just want it all to go away." Ella begged. It was a plea to life, to whoever was up there that thought it was fine to have her go through that.
"It'll pass I promise, and from here it will all just get better and better for you, Ellie. I cross my heart, darling." He'd find a way to pull the strings of the universe if it wasn't soon that it'll all look up for her.
Her hazy mind was able to grasp all that and it was the last thing she remembered before she'd succumbed to slumber, every atom of her being just giving up after the efforts of the past twenty four hours.
She hadn't felt Alex leaving her after he made sure she was truly asleep so she was the tiniest bit disappointed to find herself alone in bed in the morning, without his gentle touch on her to make her feel like all would be alright.
She reprimanded herself, it was just her being greedy at that point—he had been doing more than enough and she shouldn't be asking for more.
Her movements were quiet as she completed her morning routine, trying her best not to wake him up. He'd probably been up most of the night because of her cries, she felt so guilty.
She started making breakfast, finding comfort in the sizzle of the frying eggs and bacon on the pan and the drip of the coffee coming from her Keurig. The toasts were the perfect golden brown and, as she plated everything up for them, she found herself happy over the small victory it was for her to feel even the smallest amount of joy out of cooking a small meal.
Ella decided to move dirty utensils so she could wash them, carefully placing the hot pan in the sink when she saw Alex walking down the hallway and towards the kitchen. He looked to have just come out of the bathroom, she hadn't even heard him leave the guest room in the first place.
She didn't know if it was because of the fact that she was going through the worst heartache of her life, but the sight of him with his hair ruffled and wrinkled clothes shattered her.
Not in a negative way, not that it made her want to drop to the ground and cry, but in the way that she was already mourning the fact that she'd never be able to see him like that ever again. She'd always found him so breathtakingly pretty, but the image was so mundane that it added a layer to his general beauty.
He rubbed his eyes in the most childish way, she almost wanted to scream because of how adorable he looked, "Smells good." was all he said and she grinned like an idiot, filled with gratitude.
She slid the plate towards him on the kitchen counter, "This is the 'thanks for putting up with me yesterday and I'm so sorry for keeping you up all night', kind of like the most popular breakfast on the menu."
He chuckled, looking at the food and then at her. He shook his head with a smile and walked over to hug her, "You don't need to thank me or apologize for any of that. But thank you very much for this, it looks delicious." His arms held her tightly over her shoulders, she hid away on his neck with a smile and her arms around his waist.
They stayed like that for a minute and she tried backing away but he was reluctant to let her go. She pinched his waist and laughed, "It's gonna go cold, Al. Sit down and eat."
Alex left a kiss on her temple before letting go of her and sitting on one of the high chairs to dig into the food.
Ella watched him expectantly as he grabbed some of the food with the fork and placed it on the piece of toast, he lifted it up and took a big bite of it. It was good, really good but he exaggerated his reaction to entertain her.
His moan of satisfaction had her blushing and giving him a bright smile that reached her eyes. "That's really fucking good, Ellie."
She looked down at her own serving of food and timidly said, "Glad you like it."
They continued eating, settled in a comfortable silence and when they finished, he had beat her once again to washing the dishes.
She was leaning on her forearms, by the sink, sipping on her coffee while she watched Alex. The truth is that she wanted to ask for a favor but she was too shy to ask for something else from him. He noticed though, and it was so easy to read on her face that she was dying to say something.
"What's wrong?" His voice was so calm, inviting her to just use her words.
"I, um," Ella rose back up straight, leaving her coffee cup on the kitchen counter. "Could I skip this week at the studio? I would go but I'm sure I won't be the best company while I feel like this."
A sweet smile appeared on Alex's face, "Of course you can. But I have to ask for something in exchange..."
She got the tiniest bit more nervous with that, "Which is?"
"That you let me come over and disrupt your peace every day until you're back."
Ella didn't know what she was expecting but that made her let out a breathy chuckle, "Yeah, sure."
"I could take the camera and record for you as well, so you don't have to tell Ben and Aaron."
"You sure you can work a camera?" She teased, remembering how bad at checking his phone he could be. "A phone is enough of a nightmare for you."
Alex rolled his eyes jokingly, "Yes, I know how to work a camera. How hard can it be?"
She only shook her head, "Okay, I'll get everything ready for you. Are you leaving now?" She checked the time on her microwave and it flashed a 9:25 back at them.
He nodded, drying his hands with one of her kitchen towels. "Just so I can get over with the day as fast as I can and then I'll drive back."
Her eyes froze on his face after he said that. She truly was so glad he was there with her and so willing to stay around. She nodded, and when her gaze fell to his wrinkled and tear stained shirt she frowned.
"I'm gonna lend you a shirt so I can wash yours," She pointed at it, "I ruined it."
"No you didn't. It's fine." The singer spoke back, really not worrying about it but she was quick to shake her head and leave to get a shirt out of her closet.
He followed and when he walked through her door, she was looking through her shirts. "C'mere, choose whichever you'd like. Those are the biggest shirts I have." She waved him over and he complied.
He grabbed the first black shirt he saw and when he unfolded it, he laughed. It read 'Boot, Scoot, Boogie' and it had a pair of cowboy boots beside the big words.
"It's a good country classic, to be fair." She commented with a very amused grin on her face.
Alex lifted the shirt up in the air, "Thanks, Miss Tennessee."
She felt the squeeze in her chest, the last time he'd called her that was when he'd written it in the back of their photobooth pictures—one's that were hidden away in one of her drawers in between pages of her photo albums.
"You're welcome." Ella gave him a tight lip smile, "Now go get ready, before the guys start calling you non-stop"
He waved her off, "Already told them I'd be running late."
He walked into the guest room to gather his things and put them in his pockets, changing his shirt for Ella's and he knew he'd be in the best mood all day because the second the piece of clothing was on, he was drowning in her scent.
Flowers, sweetness and that small hint of tender woods.
He was already drunk on it when he came out, maroon shirt in hand and with a beaming grin on his face.
Ella smiled seeing him with the new shirt, "Suits you well."
"Thank you, darling." Bet it looks better on you. "I'll be back later, alright?"
She nodded, exchanging the shirt in his hand for the camera bag. "You take care of that like a child, Turner."
"I will, I promise." Alex let his arm drop dramatically making it seem like he was gonna drop the bag on the floor causing her to gasp loudly.
He started cackling, her face tinting pink at how easily she'd fallen for his prank. "You dick!"
She pushed him lightly and he started walking towards the front door, "Alright, alright. I'm leaving now." He stopped as she opened the door and right before exiting he opened his arms to hug her.
Ella gracefully walked into them, he wrapped them around her and made them both sway in the embrace. "See you later, Al."
"See you soon, darling." A kiss was left on her temple before he left.
She watched as he carefully placed the bag on the floor of the passenger side and, when he backed out into the road, he waved at her before leaving.
Her chest started feeling heavy again, those hours without Alex there would be hard but she had to power through them.
She remembered his words, 'the hurt will go and the beauty will remain'. She couldn't wait for that day to come.
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A/N: I think that after this you can come to the conclusion that I'm an absolute whore for some angst, I love it so much. Bless Ella though, so sorry girl. Hope you enjoyed this one, shit is getting real now... See you soon with the next one, thank you a billion for reading! xx
Taglist: @imagine-that-100​ @red---moon​ @kennedy-brooke​ @faveficz​ @indierockgirrl​ @ladydraculasthings @moonvr​ @unwantedlovergirl​ @eaglestar31 @nikisfwn​ @funniestpersoninnyc​ @andrearroe​ @justacaliforniandreamer​ @alexturnersgf69​
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mybrainismelted · 5 months
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Weekly tag Wednesday!! 🌟🌟🌟
Thanks to Elle @suchagallabitch for putting it together this week!!
1. if you could switch bodies with anybody for only one hour who would it be and what would you do? geez, ok... making me think right out of the gate. Let's go with Elon Musk. Totally screw with him. Sell twitter. Give everyone at Tesla raises. Obviously send myself large amounts of money somehow.... Basically drain him dry with charitable donations and acts of goodwill.
2. what's your most trivial / dumbest hot take? oh gosh. Ummm.... I don't have kids, so I should be allowed to take extra time off because my cat needs me
3. if you had to teach a college course what would it be in? Probably something boring and work-related
4. season 12 of shameless is suddenly happen and youve been put in charge! what plot point(s) are you gonna make happen? ok, so first, Liam living with Ian and Mickey because it makes way more sense. Obviously more of the soft and happy side of Gallavich that we all love. Lip and Tami are separated and trying to juggle co-parenting their kids, and the return of Brad.
5. who would be your godly parent? (can be any mythology). wow... really making me think today. ok.... Persephone maybe?
6. what’s something you love about yourself? I can bring groups of people together and force them to bond. lol
7. describe your day in 5 emojis: 🥱💻🖼️😲🦥
8. what shameless character do you think you could beat in a fight? Franny? Freddie?
9. tell us 2 truths and a lie, we’ll try to guess the lie!
I love seafood
I have a pizza addiction
I once ate a giant container of chocolate covered cherries and then puked them back up
10. do you have a pet(s). if so how did they get their name? I have one adorable kitty named Savvy. She is a rescue, and that was what they named her at the shelter. She had already had the name for over a year so I didn't want to confuse her.
11. show us a meme (or picture) that captures your essence
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12. whats your typical coffee / tea / beverage order? depends where I am, really. I get different stuff just about every time. But I love a good chai latte.
13. use a song to describe the last 5 years of your life?
2019- I'm like a bird - Nelly Furtado
2020- Bad Day - Daniel Powter
2021- Basket Case - Green Day
2022- Every Day is a Winding Road - Sheryl Crow
2023- It's My Life - Bon Jovi
Phew! That took awhile. Tagging in some peeps to play along! @juliakayyy, @krystallouwho, @jrooc, @creepkinginc, @crossmydna, @ian-galagher, @dynamic-power, @heymrspatel, @lingy910y, @rayrayor, @such-a-barbarian
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probablynot-john · 6 months
Text
Oki doki, after the last season of lower decks just ended, I feel like this is a good time to point out some things.
If you think that they're " just friends" still, yeah, i get it. But in case you've forgot, here is a chronological list of everything they have done for eachother:
1. Rutherford spent the entire day looking for a job in a different department, when he already loves his job more than anything, just so he could spend time with her (S1:E2).
2. Rutherford shows her Badgy to help her train for a test (the moon walking scene is so cute). And then when Badgy tries to kill them, he admits "I was just trying to impress Tendi! She's so cute!" As he tries to sacrifices himself for her (S1:E6).
3. She is devastated when he went on the packled ship to save the crew. And when he had his implant ripped out she sat next to his bed every day and read to him every day until he woke up. And then he didn't remember her, she was on the verge if tears, but instead she just says "now we can be best friends all over again!" (S1:E10).
4. When his personality shifts by slightest degree, (he suddenly likes pears) she notices and tries to help. Violently. She was scared that he would forget her again. And rather than be mad that she ruined his date and chased him through a hallway, he gives her understanding, compassion and a hug! "Also don't date Barns" (S2:E1).
5. They built the same model ship over and over again together just so they could spend time alone together. He was so upset that he was "a year behind in being your friend" and that he couldn't remember what he did last year. To make him feel better, she got them a new model they could do together (S2:E6).
6. She thought he was dead and that it was her fault for asking him to step out of his comfort zone and try engineering on a different ship. She refuses to accept that he's gone and searches the other ship for him. He's completely fine when she finds him but she's still traumatized by the end of the episode (S2:E7).
7. They incorrectly suspect that Tendi is going to be transferred off the Cerritos so they spend the day together doing everything they loved on the ship, including the jefferies tube where they watched the stellar anomaly from S1:E2. Of course, she actually gets a promotion and he gives her a hug (S2:E10).
8. When he forgot her, he started saving 3 copies of every moment that he spent with her in his memory banks so he wouldn't forget. He spent so much time with her that it filled his brain and was causing malfunctions (S2:E10).
9. When they were grounded on earth for the trial they spent the entire time sightseeing together until they had to go do plot stuff (S3:E1).
10. Ruthorford loses control of his body to an "evil" version of himself and his first thought is "I need to contact Tendi, she'll know what to do!" And then he's so scared for her when his evil self goes to find her. This episode broke me(S3:E5).
11. Tendi is frustrated dealing with another Orian in starfleet. Honestly I didn't love Ruthorford in this episode, but "it was nice to meet another Orian, but I'd rather just spend time with you!" She's worried that he'll think less of her when he finds out she was a pirate. But he tells her that it's a part of her and he already likes her for who she is, and encourages her to embrace her heritage (S3:E6)
12. She's upset when he doesn't take her roll in a holosimulation seriously. But when she explains why she's upset, she admits out loud for the first time that she wants to be a captian. And he becomes her biggest supporter (S3:E8).
13. "It's gonna be weird not sleeping 5ft away from you, not having your muttering to lull me to sleep" she encourages him to speak up for himself so he can get the recognition he deserves so he can be promoted along side her. Also he's been declining promotions all year just so he can stay the same rank as her (S4:E2).
14. I don't want to spoil the rest of season 4, but oh my gosh, Ferangi Hearth Place. Everything about this episode is amazing. They have to pretend to be a married couple to go on a vacation."Why can't a symbol of love be gorgeous green eyes?" Or "I can't wait to walk around our shared room in nothing but a pair of your boxers completely topless. " Come on! This might be my favorite episode of the series. Not even just for the ships, Self Sealing Stembolts! *Chants Rom and Leeta to the theme of Bob The Builder* (S4:E6).
15. I don't want to spoil the season final, but oh my gosh, he was devastated, and so was I! (S4:E10).
Okay, I know Star Trek has a horrible history of ships falling apart. But romantic ships and actual ships. I would have been perfectly happy with them being best friends, but after rewatching the series, I would be quite disappointed if they didn't at least kiss.
So what do you think, are they still just friends?
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outsideratheart · 2 years
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41 with Leila please
41 - you need some sleep
In your defence you thought going to training straight from the airport would be a good way to beat jet leg, boy were you wrong.
You went straight to the airport after the US played Canada, hopped on an 11 hours flight and then trained for 3 hours. To say you were running on fumes would be an understatement.
"Leila, you need to take her home" Mapi says slightly concerned for your delirious state.
"You know Jonathon told her to take two days off, come back on tuesday?" Alexia asks.
Leila wasn't aware of this but she also wasn't surprised. You hated to miss out on things or fall behind so when it came to training you never missed a session, no matter what condition you were in.
"Where did you get that from?" Mapi asks when she sees you walking over with yet another coffee.
"I will never reveal my secrets"
"What's is that your third, forth?" Alexia asks slightly amused at the fact that you have found yet another coffee despite been in the gym doing recovery.
"This my dear la reina is coffee number 5" you sing the last part in the same tune as Mambo No.5.
Leila recognised this stage of your tiredness, it was stage 3 out of 5. You were in your energetic stage, it's like your body is giving you one last surge before crashing.
"Let's get you to bed" Leila says as she grabs your hand.
"Now you are speaking my language, to the bedroom we go"
With an extra pep in your step you pull Leila out of the gym.
"God, I love that girl" Jenni laughs as she watches you leave rather enthusiastically.
You manage to stay awake during the car ride home, much to Leila's amazement. However once you were through the door you became quiet.
Here comes stage 4, philosophical Y/N.
"Do you ever wonder what got us to this place?" you are layed out on the sofa.
"Hhmm" Leila says knowing that it best not to interupt you.
She sits on the edge of the sofa. One hand resting on your waist as the other moves a stray hair out of your face. She loves moment like these because nobody else got to see you like this.
"I mean I know. I moved to Barcelona met you, fancied you now I love you but if I did one thing different, it could be the minutest thing and our lives would have been completely different"
Leila had heard you talk about this this before, you were fasincated by the butterfly effect.
"It is amazing when you think about it. Everything we have done in lives has lead us to this moment. The things I did when I was 5 lead me to be here, with you"
Leila wanted to argue that 5 year Y/N didn't think about the decisions that 25 year old Y/N made but she knew better.
"Think about it. What if I had shared a room with Mapi my first season with Barcelona. I could have been dating someone with a neck tattoo, maybe we would have got matching. I think I could pull off a neck tattoo, maybe I should get one?"
"Baby, you need some sleep" with that Leila stands up holding her hand out, using her strength to pull you up. Given your state you are almost dead weight.
"I think you're right" your voice is quiet, your face is soft and Leila knows that the tiredness has now hit you.
Once in bed, Leila gets to enjoy your final stage of exhaustion, her personal favourite. Cuddly Y/N.
"Come here mi amor" Leila gets into bed holding her arms wide waiting for you to take refuge.
"I'm really tired habibi" your words are slurred almost like you are drunk.
"I know" Leila holds you, your arm wraps around her waist and you tangle your legs with hers "For what it's worth, I am really happy that your decisions brought you to me"
When she feels your breathe even out she knows her words fell on deaf ears as you are already asleep.
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saltygilmores · 6 months
Text
THOUGHTS WHILE WATCHING GILMORE GIRLS-SEASON 3, EPISODE 1: LAZY HAZY CRAZY DAYS (PART 3)
We now return to your regulary scheduled Paris Geller Nuclear Anxiety Attack, already in progress. Parts 1&2 and all other episodes can be found in my pinned post.
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"Just to end up on a date with a guy without a Zagat and we end up in a restaurant that's just a front for a cocaine ring?" But enough about Luke's Diner. I KID I KID!! It was too easy. All the money laundering is going on next door at Doose's. Paris thought Luke's was a front for prostitution, though.
Paris asks the girl who is dating Dean Forrester how a person knows they're compatible with someone else, which is funny because nobody has figured out why Dean and Rory are still together. Here's a full list of the things Rory considers when it comes to compatiblity: 1.Someone who reads the same books, watches the same movies, and likes the same music 2.But someone who is not boring 3.You respect each other's opinions 4.You laugh at the same jokes 5. Someone who is not boring again Girly is definitely not talking about Dean Forrester. Dean can't read, doesn't listen to music, and in order for him to agree to watch a movie Rory wants to see, it involves 14 rounds of negotiations, he has never respected her opinions, he has never laughed at her jokes or made her laugh plus Rory's got that dreamy Thinking About Jess Mariano look in her eyes. Actually, let's face it, she's thinking about how much she loves Jess and how much she loves Paris simulatenously. The Throuple of all our dreams.
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Oh, the way Paris looks at Rory, while Rory tenderly brushes her hair. Jamie who?
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But she's already there. She's already there. AmyShermanPalladino has never met a "Get in the closet" joke she didn't like, but the timing of this one was just, ugh, impeccable. (Of course, there's another famous Closet Shoving coming up later in this season). Even though Jamey WhiteBread has known Rory for weeks, Paris worries that in the right light, Rory's breathtaking good looks will knock Nyquil off his feet and make him forget Paris exists. Okay, sure.
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STOP I NEED AIR.
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Go away, you bozo! Take your fucking Zagat guide and your dorky restaurant reservation and scram! Meawhile, Rory has retreated so deep in the closet that no light can penetrate it. She continues to pen her totally non sexual, non aching Letters to Jess.
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Meanwhile back in The Heterosexual Hollow, Sookie and Lorelai continue to let the gay jokes fly and discuss a hetereosexual wedding that did not come to fruition. Richard and Emily have been away for the entire summer in Martha's Vineyard and they don't know that Lor and Crusty went kaput.
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If this took place in 2023, Sookie would love Tinder.
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Welcome to BizzaroLand Airport, which is probably a leftover set that once stood in for a doctor's waiting room. The tiniest and cleanest airport with minimal security a year after 9/11.
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LOL, Lorelai's gonna catch a felony. You love to see it. Lock her up.
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I need a moment to pay my respect for phone booths whenever I see them.
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I need a moment to pay my respects for any rare moment of self awareness from Lorelai Gilmore whenever I see one. Now get your daughter into some fucking therapy.
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Peaches and Herb are the 70's duo behind the sensual song "Reunited". (look it up; you've likely heard it before). So, let me get this straight: your kid's been gone for the entire summer and the first thing you think about upon her return is "Gee, I bet Rory's been just aching to give Dean Forrester a mediocre handy on my living room couch all summer, let me just roll out the welcome mat, give her my full blessing, arrange her schedule for her and even suggest a sensual musical selection." Between this and Rory persistently asking her mother about naked Luke in this episode (twice), we need to establish some hard parent-child boundaries here,okay? If Jess even deigns to hope for a little tug from Rory, Lorelai tries to decaptiate him. Luckily for him, he has now known the pleasures of Shane Shane the Handy Queen, She Has Jess, Rory Has Dean. Handjob jokes are really funny to me, because inside of me beats the heart of a 12 year old boy, or the heart of Beavis and or Butthead. Expect a lot of them going forward now that Handy Shane has entered the picture. Where is that goverment agent that almost arrested Lorelai, and his dog that's trained to attack on command, when you need him? Obviously, Lorelai had been lying to Emily about the date of Rory's arrival in order to spring Rory from FND so that's good, much better use of her time that trying to pimp Rory out to Dean and agitating agents of the United States Goverment a year after 9/11. (this episode aired on September 24th, 2002). Lor: I lied to my parents, which proves my deep love for you, I just wanted you to have one night of happiness. Only in Lorelai Gilmore's world would spending an evening with Dean Forrester be classified as a "night of happiness." Even the night of Dean's birth wasn't a night of happiness for Dean's parents. When Dean was born his mom tried to shove him back in. I really hate Dean. Anyway. Back at home Rory and Lorelai are discussing Crusty business. Both ladies are on a Crusty Freeze, as it appears they've been ignorning his calls and messages. So Lorelai has been freezing out Luke AND Crusty the whole summer. Their lives are probably a lot more peaceful now. Lorelai is anxious that she will have to break the news of Crusty's absence to the parents later and Rory offers to come along and distract them. Instead, Lorelai declines her services. Lorelai Gilmore, Go More than 15 Seconds Without Talking About Dean Challenge. And...GO!
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Challenge failed, you lose, do not pass go, do not collect $200, no consolation prize, thanks for playing, please shut up. We learn that Lorelai has managed to avoid eating at Luke's all summer by taking shortcuts through bushes and eating at Al's Pancake World instead. Will it ever occur to her there are other restaurants just outside The Hetereosexual Hollow she could patronize? LIke an IHOP or something?
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The gilly girls stop by S&J's and find them fighting amongst an antique explosion. LOL. This is pretty funny. Later they'll have lots of newlywed makeup sex with the giant bear watching over them. Then we're FINALLY off to the festival. See you for part 4.
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adoredmarigold · 2 months
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Questions!! Yay!!!!!! I've got a lot to ask about, I'm sorry
1. What are your favorite ships other than david and lingard (tbh in some way that ship reminds me of kirk x bones, not sure if youre into star trek tho xd)
2. Ava or Tripp?
3. Favorite S2 characters? Do you have any S2 ships?
4. What do you think are the best possible and your favorite endings of S2, S3 and S4??
5. And of course, I wanted to ask, whats your opinion on Bonnie.
I feel like I've been asking you some questions before but I dont remember excstly what it waasszzzzzzddsdszs if I already asked some of these questions IM SO SORRY but I cant say no to asking twdg questions
hello :) 1. VIOLENTINE!!!! It's such a lovely ship I will defend it with my life, istg Violentine haters have yet to bring up a valid point as to why they don't like it. I have some crack ships like Eleanor x Kate or Eleanor x Ava, I don't have much to say about them I'm just gay and wanna ship my girls together lmao. hmmm, I've been seeing some Mark x Lee stuff to and that looks pretty cute. Ermmm this is making me realize I actually don't ship much in twdg lmao, I guess I also ship Clouis and Gabentine Clouis is sweet and has good moments but I just don't find them as compelling as Violentine (sorry Clouis shippers). As for Gabentine I guess I would say I ship it, but more so in a "first crush/puppy love" kinda of way, The relationship never becomes anything serious they're just kids with a crush on each other and honestly I don't need them to become anything more than that. aaaannnd I know nothing about Star Trek but you're gonna make me look into Kirk x Bones now, thanks. 2. Well if we're just talking about the characters in general then Ava, she's so underrated imo. BUT, if we're talking about whether I choose to "save" Tripp or Ava during the execution, I always choose to let Tripp live. I'd rather have Ava die here than get that stupid fucking death she gets in ep 5, Tripps death in ep 5 is a lot better cinematically and writing-wise. 3. Sarah :) She's been my fav season 2 character since the season first came out and I will never forgive the writers/fandom at the time for how they treated her, SHE DID NOTHING WRONG. As for ships I guess I don't really have any for season 2, I mean Alvin x Rebecca I suppose though I'm not particularly invested in either character. Never been a Nick x Luke fan, I get the appeal but it ain't for me. 4. I can't really say which ending for each season is the best cause it's all pretty subjective, but I will give you my favs :) I guess I don't really have a fav ending for season 2? I choose the alone ending each time just cause I can't deal with Jane and Kenny's bs, don't hate either character but Clem doesn't deserve to put up with their bullshit anymore, she's the main character it's fine let's just ignore the logistics of an 11-year-old going off alone with a newborn. I also like the Wellington ending alot though! Not only because it's the best location for Clem and AJ to end up at but it also gives a satisfying conclusion to Kenny's character imo. Kenny spent all of season 2 trying to keep Clem and in the end AJ by his side for ultimately selfish reasons and he became extremely violent and unhinged in the process. So to see Kenny finally be selfless and be willing to give them both up to ensure their health and safety really redeems him for me. Kenny loves Clem and AJ but I really don't think he's fit to take care of them, this is the best possible Kenny ending for me. 5. Bonnies cool. It's been awhile since I've played season 2 and 400 days so I am in a desperate refresh of her character, but from what I remember she was interesting. I def think the fandom goes WAY too hard on hating her, from what I remember she's not really any worse or better than any of the other adults in season 2, she's extremely flawed but hell who isn't in The Walking Dead. I get being frustrated with her but the lengths people go to shit all over her character is kinda insane to me. So overall I guess I don't have much of a strong opinion on Bonnie, she's an interesting character with alot of flaws but I don't think she's evil or cruel. I hope her and Mike where able to get away and join a community or something. Also, I distinctly remember her being my fav 400 Days character and having a crush on her when I was a kid lmao. wowie okay that's all I gotta say, and don't worry you're all good! If you (or anybody really) send me a question and I don't reply it's probably just cause I forgot to or I'm stumped on what to say. CRIES
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numinousmysteries · 6 months
Text
Vanquish by Wisdom Hellish Wiles (9/9)
On AO3 Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8
@today-in-fic
I started this story in October 2017 after first seeing the season 11 trailer, forgot about it for six years, and then finally finished it. Compared to what some other amazing writers in this fandom are creating, it's honestly not great, but coming back to it helped me remember that writing can be fun. I hope to keep writing and hopefully keep improving. Thank you so much for reading and I hope you enjoy my vision for how the show could have ended.
As a baby, William moved the mobile above his crib using his mind. As a teenager, he employed his psychic powers to save his birth parents’ lives by spontaneously killing an entire cadre of black ops forces and, presumably, the smoking man and Reyes as well. And yet, in Scully’s mind, neither of those facts were the most impressive thing about her son.
To her, it was simply that he was there—alive and in front of her in the flesh. She wanted to stop time and catalog every detail of his body the way she and Mulder did days after he was born, laying him out on her bed and silently marveling at his tiny toes, chubby limbs, and rosebud mouth. She wanted to run her hands over his face and memorize every feature. Her baby was almost a man and he was just as perfect to her as the day he was born.
There was so much that she missed and so much she doesn’t know. When did he take his first steps? What’s his favorite food? Was he a cautious rule-follower like herself or was he constantly pushing the limits like his father? She’d never get those years back and she’d never forgive herself for giving him away, but in that moment all that mattered was that they were together again.
Mulder’s eyes reflected her astonishment back at her. In their almost 30 years together, they’d learned to communicate without words. A glance, a wink, or a nod could convey missives of emotion. As they stood in the driveway, too stunned to move, she could tell he was as overwhelmed—by shock, by love, by awe—as she was.
“Come on,” William said. “There might be others coming. Let’s go.”
Her son’s voice. Low and deep like his father’s.
“Yeah, Scully,” Mulder said, reaching for her hand. “We better get going.”
She could only nod in response and let Mulder lead them both back to their car.
“You call each other by your last names,” William said. She could tell it wasn’t a question but him logging a fact about them, or confirming one he had already sensed.
“We work together,” Scully said. “And it just stuck.”
William nodded. She was grateful he didn’t ask any questions about her and Mulder’s current relationship that she couldn’t answer. Working together the past couple of months had been good for them. They’d found their old rhythm and had been spending more time together outside of work as well, but she hadn’t felt ready to move back in yet.
Back at the car, Scully realized she didn't know where they’d go. Would they bring William back to DC with them? If colonization was imminent, she needed to get started on developing a vaccine as soon as possible.
“Can we go get my parents?” William asked, as if reading her mind. “They’re probably worried about me.”
Mulder smiled. “Sure,” he said.
“Sorry,” William said sheepishly. “I mean my adoptive parents. That’s just…what I’ve always called them.”
“Don’t apologize, William,” said Scully, even though she admitted to herself that it cut like a knife to hear her son refer to strangers as his parents. “I’m thankful you were placed with a good family who took care of you all these years.”
“Yeah,” Mulder responded. “And I do imagine they’d be worried about you.”
******
They arrived in Wyoming the following morning. William slept on the plane but Mulder and Scully, sitting on either side of him, stayed awake—both keeping guard and watching him in awe.
“This is where you grew up?” Scully asked, after William directed them to a small but well-kept farmhouse.
“Yup, lived here my whole life—well, that I can remember.”
Scully nodded. His childhood must’ve been so different from the one she could’ve given him. Instead of living in a city, he had fields to run and roam in. She wondered if he played baseball like his father and what kind of games he invented for himself when he was little to stay busy in this wide open space.
As they approached the house they noticed the front door was open and the screen door was swinging on its hinges.
“Do your parents normally leave the door open like that?” Mulder asked.
“No,” William said. “That’s weird.”
“I’m going to go check it out,” Mulder said, reaching for his gun. “You two wait in the car.”
It was the first time Scully was alone with her son since finding him the night before. She sat in the passenger seat stealing glimpses of him in the rearview mirror.
“This must be a lot to take in,” she said.
William shrugged his shoulders. “I always knew I was different. Monica told me about you guys.”
Scully swallowed. She wanted to ask Wiliam so many questions but it was impossible to even know where to start. How do you make up for fifteen years—an entire life in his case? She had once known every inch of skin on his tiny body and now he was essentially a stranger. Did he have any scars? Any broken bones? She didn’t know what he liked to eat or his favorite movie.
“Have you ever seen The Exorcist?” he asked from the backseat, startling Scully.
“It’s one of my favorite movies,” she said.
“Me too. My parents don’t watch any horror movies but I started downloading some classics and I love them.”
“William, were you reading my thoughts just now? Why did you bring up The Exorcist?”
“I guess I had a sense of what you were thinking,” he said. “It’s not so clear cut like listening to someone talk out loud but I get sentiments and sometimes words. It’s strong with you. And Mulder, too.”
“Could you read your parents like that?”
“Yeah, I got better at it over time.”
Mulder emerged alone from the house. He jogged back to the car and knocked on Scully’s window, gesturing for her to come with him. She followed him to the front porch.
“Scully, there are two bodies inside. A middle-aged white male and female. Looks like gunshot wounds. I think I can guess who they are and I’d rather not ask William to have to identify them.”
“Shit,” Scully said. “What do we do?”
They heard William’s car door open and watched as he came to stand with them. “They’re dead, aren’t they?”
“Oh, William,” Scully sighed.
“I had a feeling,” he said, looking down at his sneakers.
“Is there anyone else we should try to find? Any other family or friends?” Mulder asked.
William shook his head. He was still looking down but Scully could see him starting to cry.
“I’m so sorry, William,” Scully said. She embraced her son and felt his tears dampening her blouse. Mulder stepped closer and wrapped his arms around both of them.
They were three broken people. Parents who’d lost their child and a child who’d lost his parents, but somehow they were also a family. They just had to find a way to pick up the pieces and find each other once again.
*****
Mulder and Scully offered to move to William’s hometown in Wyoming for him to finish up high school and start their vaccine research there, but he felt no connection to the place without his adopted parents. If anything, he was desperate for a fresh start. His old town was filled with reminders of what he’d lost.
So instead Wiliam moved into their home in Virginia. It was an older, more rundown house but he could tell they had made it a home. He preferred that it wasn’t in the heart of the city because it was less of a dramatic change from his childhood home. Mulder explained that he and Scully had been giving each other some space and she had her own apartment, but as soon as they were back from Wyoming she started every night at the house and slowly moved her belongings back.
There was a spare room on the second floor for him to move his things into.
“I know this is uncomfortable,” said Scully, showing him to his room. “We love you so much, but we know you’re still just getting to know us. I don’t want to rush you into anything you’re not ready for.”
“What was in here before?” William said.
“Nothing,” Mulder said. “We never spoke about it, but I think we both hoped you’d be here one day.”
They’d had nearly everything from his old bedroom shipped out to Virginia to try to make the transition smooth. At first he told them he didn’t mind starting over, but as he sat in his new-old room he realized he appreciated the small comforts of home—his snow globe collection, his family photos, and his worn-in baseball glove.
“We should have a catch sometime,” Mulder said, picking up the glove.
“I’d like that.”
They had a lot of work to do. They were racing against an unseen clock to beat the invasion. Scully had already taken blood and saliva samples from William to try to isolate his alien DNA to create a vaccine. They had some old associates who were going to help with the science but there was still the issue of convincing the entire global population to take a vaccine to prevent the colonization of the planet–without inciting mass panic.
William had faith in his birth parents, though. Every night they told him about their old cases which never failed to thrill him. And each day the awkward silences between the three of them started filling up with inside jokes, spirited arguments, and stories of the past that helped close the fifteen-year gap since the last time they were together.
They were careful about giving him space and typically after dinner he’d retreat to his room while his parents sat and talked on the front porch. He couldn’t hear what they were saying but it was comforting to hear their voices drifting up through his bedroom window.
One night around a month after moving in, he decided to join them outside. Scully smiled and scooted over, making room for him to sit in between them on the bench.
“I know you guys keep saying I don’t have to thank you for taking me in,” William started, “but I really do appreciate it. Growing up, I never thought I’d meet you or that if I did… you wouldn’t want anything to do with me because of…who I am and what I can do.”
“William, we love you for being exactly who you are. As I’m sure you’ve started to realize, the two of us aren’t exactly the picture of normalcy either. I think, together, we make a great team,” said Scully.
“Now we just have to save the world,” William said smiling.
“No pressure, right?” Mulder chuckled.
His parents draped their arms around him from either side and he felt himself relaxing against them. For the first time in his life he felt like he was exactly where he should be.
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pikahlua · 1 year
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Pika Rambles about the new OP because why not
If there’s anything I’ve learned from season 6 of MHA, it’s that whatever Twitter’s reaction is to something, I’m likely to have the opposite reaction.
I’m not often one to go into my opinions on things in MHA I feel are “good” or “bad.” Sometimes it happens, but just generally I’ve been trained to read and analyze a lot of things without respect to whether or not I like them or agree with their philosophies. I’m usually trying to understand a story more than anything.
But OPs are a different matter.
I have a weird thing for OPs. I’ve watched many over the years, and in some cases even decided whether or not I would watch an anime based on its OPs. (I’ve also...made a lot of AMVs.) OPs are supplementary material that are opportunities for animators to showcase their creativity and their understanding of the story’s themes. For that reason, I’ll happily ramble about my love for MHA OPs 1-4 and 7 anytime (god, especially 7; I’ll never get over the candy apple sakuga).
This time, OP 11, the ramble isn’t a good one. “What? Really? But everyone agrees it’s the shiniest one yet! Is it just that weird Ochako shit they threw in there?” No, stock anon. It’s so much more than that.
I have opinions.
If you like OP 11...you may not want to read my thoughts under the cut.
I’m just gonna complain in list form from here have fun.
1. First, all the good: I like the song. I realize not everyone’s gonna like the song, but I happen to like it. I also like some of the OP, particularly the first bits of it before the title card drops. I think it’s a good use of some of the cover/non-story artwork Horikoshi drew during this arc. Except already saying that, I can’t help but notice a huge missed opportunity. This cover art would’ve made for an EXCELLENT theme in the OP:
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It would’ve made up for the egregious lack of All Might too.
2. That title card is awful. Come on. They used to do fun things with the design or colors or something. This is just...weird effects that maybe will cause someone a seizure. It’s certainly not pleasing to the eye.
3. I don’t have a problem with the split screen bit. It’s not great, but it’s not terrible. Except the animation they give Ochako was basically already used in OP 8 so I don’t know what that’s all about.
4. All the Lady Nagant art is super lame sorry why do they repeat the same angle and pose twice? They could have used other camera angles at least, or even do something more with her younger self and angst? This is about as one-note as her actual role in the story (okay maybe it fits then).
5. I don’t need to complain about the weird ship bait that is the Ochako scene in the way everyone else already has done for me. I have a pressing urge to bring up though that Bones once again shows their lack of creativity here, and it feels like they have a vendetta against Ochako too. Where is her action shot? Her sakuga? There are plenty of moments from this arc that could’ve made a much nicer action shot here. Her smile is so weird because this whole arc she’s getting serious for Izuku’s sake and frowns at him a lot and stands up to him essentially. This feels like heroine-ization and it’s awful. Ochako does much more impactful and moving shit this arc than whatever the hell this is.
6. How dare you cheapen the hand-holding symbol of this series do you even know what the fuck is happening in this manga??? [clings to Iida’s leg]
7. The sakuga of Izuku swinging around is okay, probably the best part of the OP--except then we run into the Lady Nagant issue again
8. What the fuck is the weird white corpse from AoT doing here? What? What is that? Hello?
9. It needs to be said: the sakuga of Iida et. al. looks like absolute ass. I’m sick of fandom just salivating for nothing but sakuga while having absolutely no standards. “Action lines? Cool angles? Speedy animation? Yay it’s perfect!” No, seriously, if everyone’s gonna be so critical of the story and animation and pacing all the time, where’s your criticism of the actual sakuga? This shot looks awful and no one is talking about it. Not only do all the characters involved move awkwardly, you can’t even tell who they are. I wish we could have seen better highlights of the characters themselves, their faces even, including Shigaraki’s. YEAH THAT’S RIGHT. THEY’RE FIGHTING SHIGARAKI IN THAT SHOT. DID YOU EVEN NOTICE? YOU PROBABLY THOUGHT IT WAS IZUKU, RIGHT? SEE HOW DUMB THIS IS? IT MAKES NO SENSE FOR THAT TO BE SHIGARAKI EITHER, BUT IT IS. GO PAUSE A FRAME AND CHECK IT OUT. The special effects of their super attacks at the end also look like ass. This was the worst sakuga we’ve seen since the third movie and I am not impressed and I’m mad other people are.
10. Epilepsy colors Izuku is also terrible sakuga he’s so off-model it hurts I can’t stand watching this bit.
11. The Izuku+Tenko sequence is nice and a good show of creativity, and yet Izuku also looks off-model and I can’t stand how this is NOT the right season for this imagery. So that makes this a spoiler, basically? It doesn’t belong here. I like the subtle hint at the OFA star with the sun glare behind Izuku’s offered hand, but still this feels like they have no idea what this arc is about.
12. Exhibit #999999 that it feels like the animators have no idea what’s up with this arc: the ending image of Izuku doing the All Might fist in the air pose. Like, maybe it works if you read it as “he’s able to represent All Might because everyone else is there with him,” but it just doesn’t...feel right. It’s not earned based on the rest of the OP. Why couldn’t we just have them all be around the All Might statue? I don’t know what are you all even thinking when you draw this shit
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