#but now i'm just devastated

[lazylittledragon]

domesticating your vampire: a memoir

(beautiful high res version on patre0n)

#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #astarion #tavstarion #KARLACH #i nearly forgot her #when you just escaped vampire slavery but now you have to save for a down payment #i can't stress how important it is to me that astarion has a birthday #i don't know why #also sex is fine but have you ever had someone wash your hair for you. there is nothing more intimate #i'm devastated that i had to desaturate the polaroid because the lighting was so pretty

[ruporas]

chapter 90 vash

#vash the stampede #trigun #trigun maximum #trimax spoilers #trigun spoilers #i forget how the blacklist stuff works on tumblr again... uncertain whether it matters or not for it to be in the caption itself #anyway my mind was reflecting again on the later chapters of trigun :lying down: i'm not sure how to collect my thoughts #but i think all the time about vash's “if i shoot him now she'll die” line in ch 15 #and considering vash haven't had long at all to grieve after ch 64... aughh... augh.... mourning both of them in ch 91 #vash's emotional state after 64 is really so. It's devastating watching him bc he's still being all smiley around his friends and allies #but when he's alone - charging the bullets and during those first two battles - he's just so quiet #and all of that kept emotion just breaks like a dam in 90... all of that to say.. legato is really incredible dgmks #ruporas art

[mlobsters]

supernatural s11e20 don't call me shurley (w. robbie thompson)

#happy valentine's day #supernatural #mygifs #sam and dean #spn 11x20 #dean winchester #sam winchester #robbie thompson #spngifs #frustrating episode because in isolation this scene is heartbreaking and i'm crying over it now - yet in the episode i was 😐 #because it felt so contrived! and got resolved immediately. and sam had nearly died a few episodes ago! #but they executed it really well and the Feelings are definitely there #i just wish it had taken place in an episode that for me had room to breathe and feel the impact of it #because it's just devastating at the end there where dean is having to deal with watching him slowly die #my more thorough bitching is in my recap with the episode tag #anyway i was croaking along to fare thee well in the car tonight and was gonna post a video clip of that #but then realized this was more thematically appropriate for the day #sam and dean mush

[sweetbunnytears]

#i just recently ordered a new vanity and i saw this and now i'm literally devastated #kawaii #pink #cute #aes #aesthetic #cutecore #pinkcore #girly #adorable #coquette #princesscore #coquettecore #vanity

[dear-buttercup]

So... I got a pen display and this is my first masterpiece on it 😌

#also i was inactive for a while because i was busy doing the important job of lying around and scrolling social media #but now i'm back with the tiniest and cutest of heroes #(also i'm devastated that we'll probably never see her again :( ) #miraculous #miraculous ladybug #ml #ml fanart #marinette dupain cheng #multimouse #(and pls ignore the lack of earrings bc i just realized it and am too lazy to fix it :) )

[thefirstknife]

The thing about the final lore tab is that, besides the fact that I'm devastated in ways I can't put into words, the way Saint was affected by this whole thing is unique.

This is obviously primarily Osiris' trauma that we can't really properly comprehend, but Osiris wasn't fully conscious for most of it. It fell to Saint to wait, and hope, that Osiris would be brought back and that he would wake up. There was no certainty for him there. And even before that, he watched "Osiris" being strange and distant and acting weird but obviously nobody could even begin to speculate that the person he interacted with wasn't Osiris at all, so the trauma went from there, from learning that he lost Sagira, then to the shock of Osiris being kidnapped and then the quest to bring him back and then him being brought back in a coma and then the 9 long months of waiting until he woke up.

The state of constant anxiety he experienced for almost 2 years total is nervewracking and gutwrenching. I don't think we can fully understand the impact of that on someone. And the best, or worst, thing is that Saint is infinitely patient. He is infinitely emotional and merciful and opts to be the better person and to wait and wait and wait. And hope that it can be fixed.

Except it can't. It can't be fixed. And not only can it not be fixed, but there will never be justice for it. It's impossible. There isn't a way to truly punish Savathun for what she's done. There is no relief or catharsis for Saint. While Osiris can mostly move on, Osiris did not really have to go through what Saint had to go through. Their traumas are different and Saint's is the type that no one can really understand and there is nothing he can do about it.

A younger Saint would've killed Immaru and then Savathun, 100%. But now he can't, because he isn't that person anymore. And yet, the grief and trauma remain and he has no outlet for them and nothing that can be done to enact any sort of justice. So he settles for pure rage, letting himself essentially vent that anger out, but still leave everyone alive. And there's really no true release here. He got a brief satisfaction of killing Savathun over and over, but at the end of the day, she will walk away and nothing will change and there will be no fix.

Which is why he comes back and just cries. As he said, this wasn't for Osiris, it was for him. It was his outlet for anger and nothing else. After that, there's nothing else left to do but cry. No one can really help him carry the burden of what he's gone through and besides: he's a Titan. He's the one carrying other people's burdens. Which just added to the trauma because for so long he's only cared for others, mostly for Osiris, and never really let himself fully grieve or talk about it. Saint never really processed the horrifying ordeal of constant concern for his loved one, then the realisation that his loved one isn't even with him, then the desperate search and then waiting for months and months for the hope that his loved one might wake up. Then Osiris is awake and we're forced to play allies with the person who traumatised both of them in an incomprehensibly terrifying way. Saint had no other way of attempting to make his peace with the situation.

Year of processing grief. I'm in shambles.

#destiny 2 #destiny 2 spoilers #season of the witch #season of the witch spoilers #saint-14 #osiris #o14 #i haven't stopped thinking about this and i never will #i genuinely cried like a little baby reading this #the whole time of this ordeal it's been told through saint's patience and devastation about the situation #so we know just how much he stretched his limits here #again. a younger saint would've gone apeshit months ago #but now he has a limit and he's more patient than ever and literally no one can help him #i'm in tears over this man he doesn't deserve any of this bullshit #i could go on for approximately 17 more hours about this #if i see savathun again she will die by my hand

[littlesmartart]

HANDS DIRTY | DELTA RAE

I've been thinking about this song + JGY for a long time ("I get my hands dirty, I show up so early, they show me no mercy, so I just keep working" hello???? hello??????), and I would like to personally thank ZZJ for his wonderful face and brilliant acting 🙏

#jin guangyao #making this video truly made me appreciate how much on-screen abuse and violence we see inflicted on JGY 😬 #also godddd!!! the scene with Madam Jin yelling at JGY at phoenix mountain!!! #JGY doing this quick little panicked look around when she's done talking to see if anyone is going to do anything #and the pan we get of Zixun + Zixuan + Yanli + freakin Sect Leader Yao #and even XICHEN. all just standing there like :T awkward. #then it cuts back to JGY's devastated little face as he tries his best to carry on. probably fucking mortified that this is public #and both relieved yet slightly upset that no one tried to defend him over something that everyone knew was not his fault #UUGHHHHH #sorry I'm done now #the untamed

[jeysuso]

“Don’t leave me here alone! It’s your Sam calling. Don’t go where I can’t follow! Wake up, Mr. Frodo! O wake up, Frodo, me dear, me dear. Wake up!”

#stedit #strangerthingsedit #tvstrangerthings #stranger things #eddie munson #dustin henderson #eddie x dustin #dustin x eddie #joseph quinn #gaten matarazzo #lotr quotes #i cried making this and i don't wanna talk about it #dustin is the sam to eddie's frodo #and i won't hear any different #dustin and the dad who Definitely would let him set fire to things for Science Purposes #the way they smile at each other outside the trailer #stop it right now #the devastation in eddie's eyes #just before he says i'm buying more time #because he knows #he knew there was such a small chance #of getting out of it alive #and that that was probably the last time #he would see his little brother #i fucking hate this show #if they don't bring eddie back istg #mine #mine*

[hum--hallelujah]

actually "tell the boys where to find my body" is like top 3 FOB lyrics that makes me feel like I'm going to throw up

#''I went to sleep a poet and I woke up a fraud'' is another #and ''I'm having another episode/I just need a stronger dose'' is probably the number one #like. pete...... #tell the boys where to find my body....... I could cry right now. #actually I've got all this ringing is lowkey messed up all around #I'm a canary you're a coal mine.... take one for the team (you all know what I mean).... #the rammys.... #every day I wake up listen to ioh and realize another way it's so devastating and then post about it on Tumblr 👍 #she speaks! #fob #fall out boy #ioh

[riemmetric]

A collection of my favourite Bobby looking at Athena screenshots, from season 1-4. (episodes: 2x03, 2x04, 2x10, 3x09, 3x17, 3x17, 4x02, 4x14)

#911 abc #bobby nash #911edit #mine:edits #athena grant #oh peter krause we're really in it now #he's just SO CUTE #(except for the 3x17 screenshots which are ofc devastating) #they only go up to season 4 because this is how much i watched so far #*yes? you really said yes! it's a christmas miracle!* i'm not a romance girlie but that one got me so bad #and the shot of him looking up at her when she has her hands cupping his face. romance of all times

[dazais-guardian-angel]

Chapter 110 is 13 pages long welcome to hell!!! so in a lot of ways this is just more fuel for a theory that I've had for a few weeks now, that's only gotten stronger with each recent season 5 episode, which is that the last episode of the season is gonna end on 110, and that Asagiri/Harukawa and Bones have been collaborating to make this happen, specifically because it's a major turning point that would be the only good place to end the season on.

When we started getting especially long chapters again (like from 25-35ish pages, with the exception of 107.5, the last two being some of the longest we've ever had), at first I just assumed that Asagiri/Harukawa got freed up from some other obligations they'd been having to cause the extremely short/half chapters, like promotional stuff for the anime/Beast movie, or working on light novels. But then 109 happened, with the "supposed" death of Dazai, and heavy emphasis at the end on how literally everyone is at their lowest point right now, and I got to thinking. 11 episodes is a strangely specific number for an anime season -- why not 12, or 13, or even 10, like you'd usually see? Why have we gotten suddenly gotten two 35 page chapters out of nowhere, that's almost unheard of at this point? They're both beautiful chapters, don't get me wrong (as always), and maybe A/H simply just didn't want to cut them in halves because they felt like the full emotional impact wouldn't hit/that there were no good cutoff points in them, but you can't deny that it's surprising, after all the shorter chapters we've been getting. Why has the anime been going at such insanely breakneck pacing for the most part ever since around the Sunday Tragedy chapters, even more so than it has in the past? So much so that it feels dangerously close to overtaking the manga?

Well, maybe, just maybe, it's because..... Asagiri decided a long time ago that whatever happens in 110 is the only point that feels "season finale"-worthy enough, in an arc that still isn't anywhere close to being completely wrapped up, and so both the manga and the anime have been specifically coordinated to reach that part within 2 and a half weeks of each other?

I've seen a lot of people now think season 5 will end with 109, and as much as my sadistic side would find that hilarious, I honestly don't think they'd do that and realistically don't want it to happen; it'd be so cruel to cliffhanger the anime for years like that, and just doesn't feel like a season cliffhanger BSD would do, a series that is ultimately hopeful and uplifting. Seasons 2 and 3 had a positive, conclusive ending; the only reasons seasons 1 and 4 didn't was because they're technically not really full seasons of their own, and are more like the first cour of another "season" that also came out that same year (seasons 1 and 2 both aired in 2016, so they're more like one big season, and seasons 4 and 5 have both aired this year, so they're also more like one big season, again taking into account how episodes 12 and 50 are not satisfying finales like episodes 24, 37, and hypothetically, 61, are). I really can't see season 5 ending with Dazai and Fukuzawa's supposed deaths, Sigma being unconscious and maybe close to death, Atsushi being vulnerable and limbless again, everyone we love still vampires, and the entire world being basically doomed; that's just too depressing and not like BSD at all. However, having said that, if it doesn't end there, there really isn't any good place to end the season before that, either, that feels in any way satisfying or like a finale at all. And so, to me, that only leaves after 109: chapter 110.

I think things are really gonna turn around next chapter. Like I said, everyone is at their lowest point right now, it cannot possibly get any worse, the framing of Dazai, Fukuzawa, and sskk at the end of 109 is telling us that; this is the time for the heroes to finally start winning again, with Aya being so close to pulling out the sword, and for all the thematic reasons other people have talked about to death that I don't need to go into here again. This upcoming chapter being so short again makes a part of me wary of 110 being "the one", so to speak, I won't lie, but at the same time, it's very possible that it needs to be that short because that's all the final episode of the season will be able to reasonably fit in, since it's already gonna be VERY close if they do make it all the way to 109. And at the end of the day, I don't doubt at all that Asagiri and Harukawa can make these the most monumental and game-changing mere 13 pages ever if they wanted to; a chapter does not at all need to be extremely long in order to be an important and impactful one, even if short ones we've gotten in the past haven't felt the most important.

An additional thought I've had, though this is much more crack territory than all this already is, is that since we know from Anime Expo that a Stormbringer movie at some point is highly likely (judging from Asagiri's reaction when someone brought it up), it's possible that chapter 110 and thus the final episode will involve the long-anticipated return of Verlaine and/or Adam, or at least some other major reference to Stormbringer, that would naturally and smoothly lead into a Stormbringer movie to explain things to people who haven't read the novel. It would make a lot of sense, especially since the s4 OP has the Old World sign behind Chuuya, which might be a hint that this has been in the works ever since seasons 4/5 were first in planning with Asagiri. We also know that Dazai and Chuuya's voice actors apparently struggled to record their lines together this season, which probably relates to 101 and possibly 109, but it could be 110 too.... I could be very wrong, as I'm no expert on this kind of thing, but I kinda doubt they would bring Chuuya's actor in for just the vampire growls, and Asagiri placing heavy emphasis on Chuuya's importance this season in that one interview gives me the impression that he's talking about much more than just 101/109. But that's the least solid evidence I have, that's just mostly based on vibes I get.

So basically, I think a lot of factors -- the unusual episode count, how close the anime is to catching up to the manga with three whole episodes left, the seemingly arbitrary recent chapter lengths, and the climactic events of 109 -- can tell us that 110 might be a very, VERY big deal. Again, there's of course no way this arc is anywhere near close to being finished, with so much left to address and resolve, but since it is currently incomplete in the manga, unlike the previously adapted arcs, if the anime was going to adapt it at all, they'd have to find a place that feels satisfying enough to end this season, knowing there won't be more anime for a long time after this, and so I think they specifically planned for that, from both Bones' and A/H's sides. 10 episodes might not have been enough to reach that point, but 12 or 13 might have been too many it wouldn't have been if Bones actually decided to slow down and let the story breathe the way it needs to, but this post isn't meant to criticize the anime, so maybe 11 was just right. And maybe Asagiri and Harukawa specifically pushed to make recent chapters longer than usual, in order to make sure that the manga reached the story content in 110 the monthly release right before season 5 was to end.

Is this just copium? Absolutely. Am I going to look like an absolute clown in two days when this post ages like milk? Probably. But the evidence is There, so let me just enjoy my delusions until Sunday, okay 🥂🫡

#bungou stray dogs #seriously call me a clown and point and laugh at me if I'm proven wrong all you want #but I really feel like there's solid evidence for this #either s5 isn't gonna reach 109 at all (but I seriously cannot fathom where you would want to stop before then) or they'll go beyond it #if they really do end it with 109....... well i'll give Bones kudos for having the balls to do that ig lol #maybe i'm underestimating (overestimating???) them idk #also just to clarify I don't wanna make it sound like I think Asagiri let the anime/Bones dictate the manga's pacing #like I'm sure these were his/their (him and Harukawa's) own decisions first and foremost #not that (if this theory is true) the anime had a major impact on how the chapters were split and that it- #-would have been extremely different otherwise #i'm pretty confident in that Asagiri does not do anything with BSD he isn't comfortable with #and he doesn't let anyone tell him how to write his story #I just feel like he worked with Bones to make this near-simultaneous release happen #BUT if this is the case I don't feel like it had any major effect on the writing/final product that is the manga #like the last handful of chapters have been so incredible #so I at least am still perfectly happy lol #(i mean i'm devastated and a nervous wreck but u know 🫡 in a good way lmao) #anyway 110 in two days please let this theory be true because I need some fucking hope already #please let Oda show up as Dazai's guardian angel to help (see what I did there-) #it would be the perfect way to end the collective season that is 4/5 with s4 beginning with Oda and now ending with Oda #Asagiri are you reading me are you picking up what I'm putting down please please a ghost Oda is long overdue please- #Oda Verlaine Adam just GIVE ME SOMEONE ALREADY 😭😭😭 #MAYBE EVEN A TASTE OF THE FYODOR BACKSTORY TO TIE INTO HIM BEING IN ANIME UNTOLD ORIGINS. THE POSSIBILITIES ARE ENDLESS

[marlenacantswim]

hey gang, do we all agree that ten's massive ego and god complex (or rather those traits being especially prominent in his regeneration) were a direct result of what happened in Parting of the Ways?

"marlena what the fuck do you mean" okay well think about it; ninth doctor. fresh off the time war. thinks himself unlovable, unworthy of love. just did a double genocide, including against his own people. he's returning to his old ways of lallygagging around helping humans in a more-than-desperate attempt to repress his feelings and try to mimic the person he was before the war. he's so vulnerable.

enter rose tyler. to him? she's the most amazing person in the universe. he loves her, full stop. she makes him feel like maybe he's still capable of love, but does he really trust her love for him? after all, she doesn't really know him, does she?

all that comes to a head when rose tyler becomes the bad wolf. in that moment, she sees everything. everything everything. the doctor's past, and the doctor's future. every horrible thing they did and will do.

and in that moment, with all this truth streaming constantly into her brain, most amazing person in the universe rose tyler looks at him and goes "i want to save you. you are worth saving."

bro no fucking shit ten has a motherfucking god complex, jesus christ i would too!!!

now personally i think nine would have rationalized it and been relatively Normal 'bout all that noise had he survived onwards, but unfortunately he didn't, and so when the doctor's subconscious and the universe were holding hands deciding what their new little guy should be like... well, we're already making him just for her, and she loves him.

rose tyler loves me. she loved me even when she knew me.

i'm just saying, that "Bad Wolf chose to save me" to "the laws of time are mine to command" pipeline is a straight vertical drop only a few feet long.

#there's also an argument to be made about the time vortex being responsible for his death #and how that might have contributed too #yeah sorry the inpenatrable waves of time lived inside your boyfriend and killed him #yeah and it kinda fucked up his regenerarion #so sorry girl your boyfriend's new life is tainted with the pull of ultimate power over one's domain #this won't actually mean much to you since your boyfriend will split in two #and the one you'll get to keep is too busy having a human brain and being warborn #but this will have horrible consequences for him after he turns six #and will emotionally devastate just about every other person he crosses paths with #but hey that's alright; remember that drunk guy who foretold good tidings on new year's? #yeah that was your boyfriend. he went back to see you as he was dying from the results of his god complex. #he came back to be with the reason he did everything— the reason he was— one last time #okay i'm making myself cry right now i gotta chill #running my mouth #doctor who #nuwho #tenth doctor #10th doctor #ninth doctor #9th doctor #the doctor #rose tyler

[softerhaze]

idk if it was the venus retrograde or what, but july 2023 was quite literally the worst month i've ever experienced in my life like.....every single day? awful? worse than the last? it's more likely than u think

#u know sometimes you'll experience something bad in the moment and look back later like lol that was fine actually! #not july :) she was actually really bad :) #tmi but if u wanna know why i was gone lol #my partner of 6 years cheated on me in early may. on her birthday. at her party that i planned. with her coworker. and i saw it #on top of just being like. completely devastated? i was just so embarrassed? i hardly told anyone because it made me feel like #just SO worthless. and then i was embarrassed about feeling worthless and it was a whole thing #anyway they started dating in july and it was really tough for me #it was like every day i'd wake up and have to like grieve? and come to terms with reality? and accept that a lot of my future plans #were no longer going to happen - at least with her :/ it's a really tough thing to grapple with #esp since it felt like she wasn't nearly as sad as i was - which unfortunately makes sense but still sucks #ANYWAY im doing a lot better now lol i started telling people in my life and letting them be there for me and it's helped so much #it's still hard sometimes but i know now that i'm gonna be fine eventually #this is so dumb to post on my sims blog but it feels good to get it off my chest so SUE ME I GUESS

[moe-broey]

Technically this is the second part to something else but I feel bad the og sketch still gets notes every now and again LMFAOO so as I'm in between projects. I have some ideas for Alcryst Forging Bonds whenever he's added to FEH 👁️👁️

#fire emblem #feh #now is takumi really short or is alcryst really tall? the answer is yes. #the color job is kinda messy but i didn't wanna spend too much time on it LMFAOO #ALCRYST'S ARMOR. IS SUCH A PAIN (don't tell him that though he'll start crying and throwing up) #anyways i think they'd have a lot of fun together. after the initial hurdle both of them leaving a HORRIBLE first impression #like the worst anyone has ever done it. and then the hurdle of takumi scaring alcryst shitless #and then after three other hurdles and one instance of alcryst seeing takumi's kind side and acknowledging it #takumi is just like 'okay yeah i can fix him' and goes ride or die for him. #if they don't have at least ONE convo i will be SO DEVASTATED. there is SO much potential here #not to mention i'm certain some of alcryst's battle lines are a direct ref to takumi's lines (esp crits) #i just think. they need to be besties. like yesterday #fe takumi #alcryst #my art

[chilledagridolce27]

no because why is elemental the literal embodiment of the absolute PRESSURE 1st & 2nd gen migrant kids face? the overwhelming reality of the unfathomable and tremendous sacrifice your parents made to give you the opportunities they never had...the weight of all that expectation to not only succeed but to succeed excellently because you are the culmination of generations of hopes and dreams, of blood, sweat and tears... The hopelessness of wondering how you could EVER pay back that kind of sacrifice and loss? the desperate need to be strong and do it anyway? The frantic desire to never disappoint, to never be the reason they regret it all... The constant internal struggle between your dreams and their legacy, your desires vs weight of their sacrifice, your future vs their past?? The burden of having to carry all of that and hating yourself for hating it because how could you spit in the face of all that sacrifice???! Why can't you just be grateful??!!

I'm a bad daughter

#ugh i'm weak from tears #I feel so seen and yet so devastated #The only reason I'm not a puddle on the floor #is because Wade soft water boy Ripple #and his love for Ember just has me in my feels y'know #sorry I'll stop now #I'm just so soft for them #I feel you Ember #been there #all I need is a Wade now #elemental #ember lumen #wade ripple #wade x ember #elemental 2023 #elemental pixar #migrants #immigrants

[logicpng]

I think I can with certainty say I'm past the halfway point with this. there's not that much random dialogue left to make up

I can only hope the switch works as intended on other computers, since a different timing left them mid-transition. it seems like it doesn't interrupt the bubbles switch but it's only if the menu switch/shell reset comes at a specific point before it 🤔

sakurascript is really weird with calling functions, but I Think if you call it as a variable ( %(function) ) it doesn't interrupt the script?? maybe??

[Image ID:

Two gifs showing off Vega complaining about the messiness of Windows' system32 folder, providing the user with a link to open it and see for themselves, and the right click context menu changing its color scheme alongside Vega switching to Rigel.

End ID]

#original #CaelOS #aster #aster ghost wip #I've ran so many times into wanting to do a Thing and it being outside the scope of what you can reliably do with YAYA/SakuraScript #or at least without involving external libs #you can do anything if you write external code and put it into a .dll it seems #but now that's outside the scope of my patience /wheeze #I'm hoping to test some of this with a couple people at least #I'm sure many things would've had answers if I was brave enough to step foot into an ghost dev discord server but. I am Shy #we figure this shit out on our own and die like men /j #and like I could've just stuck with the template and make it much simpler but NOU I need to make it NEEDLESSLY COMPLICATED without actually #providing much function of my own or that good of a story #if any ukagaka devs read this pls be nice to us we're doing our best 8v8 #also I recently realized the terms 'ghost' and 'shell' are meant to be a reference to... Ghost in the Shell. I'm devastated /j #vega (aster)