#but like. ashton and imogen really do Not get each other in a lot of ways. cad and jester were very opposite in a lot of ways

[shorthaltsjester]

taliesin and laura remain truly so fantastic at making characters who… don’t necessarily have something extremely and inherently in common but do have experiences that were caused by similar sources and that lead them to have quite different opinions/ideas about things but in ways that are typically very reconcilable? which is a lot of qualifiers but it’s a through line of vex/percy with nobility, jester & cad with loneliness (and also god stuff but in a different post maybe someday i’ll talk about how actually their god stuff is intensely related to their different experiences of loneliness), and now imogen & ashton with being left behind.

like vex was this character who technically had a claim to nobility due to her blood but at the same time was burdened because of that same claim. and percy who was born into and raised by nobility but that nobility ended up making his family the targets of a massacre. and then vex who lets down her walls and Do I Look Like I Come From Money? and percy giving her the title grand mistress of the grey hunt because it has nothing to do with blood, or his love for her, or anything aside from the fact that it’s something she can prove herself worthy of simply by virtue of who she Is, not who someone makes her. and percy and vex’s conversation about forgiveness and it’s necessity for growth as probably two of the characters most inclined to hold grudges.

and caduceus clay who gets left behind with nothing but his Belief while his family goes off into the world. and jester lavorre who gets shut inside with no company except her Belief as her mother protects her from the world. and they both get the burden of loneliness and the understanding of love’s nonmalicious imperfection. and caduceus having a panic attack on a ship and jester telling him that the world is a lot bigger than his cemetery and that means he has to break out of his comfort zone to find his path. and caduceus telling jester that he doesn’t think she gets as much credit as she ought to and she deserves more pastries. and jester thanking caduceus for showing her how cool it is to actually heal people and caduceus asking if she wants to use his shield while he doesn’t need it.

and ashton who was left broken and dying on the ground and was given inescapable pain as their means of survival. and imogen who was left behind by the only person who could provide true understanding of the pain she’d one day come to feel. and ashton who’s a barbarian, who wields their rage casually and unapologetically and who sees the Shittiness of the world but is unrelenting in his version of optimism. and imogen who is weighed down by pessimism she doesn’t Want to have but hasn’t cracked how to undo and who doesn’t admit her anger until it comes up again and again and again and carries it like a burden or like guilt, who we only see really Grasp and feel Confidence about her anger being something good in front of others when she has those conversations with ashton. and like. ashton who looks at imogen and sees a superhero. imogen venturing through ashton’s mind and holding his bleeding and exhausted head and saying i’m sorry. i’m sorry. and imogen who looks at ashton and sees someone special. and fucking “we got him killed.” and “no, we didn’t. don’t you dare. […] we are not what fucking killed that man. […] we are his eventual victory. we are his fucking revenge.” and “i’ll be his revenge.” and “i have no fucking doubt.”

and in general rp wise they both tend to make some of my favourite characters (also typically the ones i find most frustrating) because they both tend to make flaws that are easy to hate and they make those flaws very central to their characters but i think that’s also what makes their character interactions so deeply compelling because so frequently it’s like. yes yes these two characters have like. a helix of things they have in common but also things they deeply disagree on but they’re going to spider-man point at the things that are the same and they’re going to honour their differences while doing so. and it’s just. i always enjoy it so much and i was psyched when i heard about an imogen and ashton side pit stop in last nights episode and i was not let down when i watched the episode today.

#also gotta emphatically say that i Do Not Mean their characters understand each other better than others or completely #i just think those two consistently have characters that have opinions that would perhaps naturally be the most at odds but then #they always craft these dynamics that like. web together pieces of sameness so that their characters end up having deeply #meaningful relationships with one another. #but like. ashton and imogen really do Not get each other in a lot of ways. cad and jester were very opposite in a lot of ways #percy and vex i think probably had the most in common but also like . they had and have vast differences . #idk this probably is worth a longer post that lingers in my brain about how relationships between characters whether romantic or not #are actually Much more compelling and rewarding when characters Don’t just click and have perfect matching experiences #because. to have to Choose to want to understand someone and what they’ve experiences and why they differ from you #if actually a much stronger act of love than searching for your reflection in everyone you meet. #someday i’ll string together that post but. until then. tal and laura my beloveds. storytelling duo truly #cr3 #cr2 #jester lavorre #imogen temult #vex’ahlia #caduceus clay #ashton greymoore #percy de rolo #cr1 #critical role #cr spoilers #no molly and jester input here because i haven’t watched early m9 in a Long time but. i’m sure there’s similar scenes in there. #honestly even like. jesters Earnestness with her still manipulative trickery vs. mollys much more . not necessarily Cruelness but just. idk #there’s something there with the way that when they meet jester is all in for the tarot cards for the experience that they both get out #of her choosing to believe what molly says vs molly going in to get something out of jester? yk. #but they’re still bestie icons. jester still tears a man in half in the hopes of saving molly. molly still died trying to help get her back. #anyway. beloveds #laura bailey #taliesin jaffe

[utilitycaster]

I think this is the last I have to say about it, certainly not until new episodes air, but the thing about What The Fuck Is Up With That is that it's emblematic of the issues Bells Hells have - and to be honest I suspect always might have - regarding trust. It's a party game. It's a fun way to get surface-level answers. It's an infodump. It's telling not showing. It's not a bad thing, but you don't build trust, actually, by providing every piece of information! In fact, sometimes, it's good to keep your inside thoughts inside! You build trust with other people through your actions: through keeping your word, through proving your ability to do what they expect of you. Perhaps this is a personal experience and not a universal tenet, but people who share everything about themselves right away and people who end up being genuinely reliable and close and trustworthy are often two nearly entirely separate camps.

This also does once again feel like something with an interesting echo within the fandom. Earlier on in the campaign, before the introduction of 4-Sided Dive, I received a lot of questions about whether it would be helpful if we had something like Talks and my response was usually "no, the issue is that I know everything about the backstory and not actually much anyone's motivations; I have a factual list of personal history and I'm looking for a sense of someone's personality." This still comes up occasionally when I talk about Laudna, whose motivations remain hazy much of the time; we have a quite detailed outline of her history but it is missing the only things that actually matter. We know what. We don't know why. Bells Hells knows so much what about each other and they still struggle, even now, with "why".

And when it comes to why, telling people is nice, but it's very easy to lie about motivations. Indeed, that's why Imogen ends up fooled by her mother; she knows what Liliana did but assumed there was a deeper why than there ended up being; that Liliana wasn't simply seduced by the idea that Predathos would free her and Imogen from the burden of their powers but was also working as a force for good within the Vanguard and wouldn't hurt so many people. The revelation that the "why" really was that simple was ultimately why Imogen felt betrayed. Knowing more details about Liliana doesn't help.

Chetney ends up being the illustrative exception here, if that helps. He arrived late to the party. He never played What The Fuck Is Up With That. He even told them what he was there for (looking for Gurge) and lied about the "why" (werewolf reasons) initially. He to this day keeps secrets. But he's open about keeping secrets. That caginess allows him to be one of the party members most people trust on a fundamental level. They don't trust him to be kind, or generous per se; they don't even trust him to not hurt them. But they trust him to not hurt them intentionally, since he's repeatedly shown he will take steps to avoid this. He is cagey and uncooperative during most of the honesty exercise, but when he finally says something, it isn't a judgement - it is an explanation of his own behavior. When he declines to share his deal with Morri, he still reassures them that he did not do anything that would fall to them - and that's honest, and that's what matters, that he made a deal for himself and himself alone. Compare with Orym, who hides even the fact he made the deal, or Ashton a couple days ago, who hid their true plans with the shard. On the surface, Chetney is the one hiding something - but he is honest that he hides things. If Chetney's secret comes out? It won't change the party's understanding of his trustworthiness; it will just change some of the facts. If Orym's comes out or when Ashton's was revealed? That's a huge change in the party's understanding of their motivations.

Honesty in this party has been a game from the start, and as the exercises show, it still mostly is. A panopticon is, unsurprisingly, not a great way to make people trust each other; a little open hiding and actions over words are in order. I don't think that's necessarily a problem, in that I think Bells Hells share, if not a vast overreaching goal, an agreement regarding their pretty significant task. But I think any deeper trust is yet to be actually tested, tried, and forged.

#critical role #critical role spoilers #bells hells

[its-your-mind]

Tbh I??? Really love these Bell’s Hells Company Retreat Activities???? Bc like. It’s not like any of them have been overly cagey this whole time, or actively hiding big secrets from each other. (someone at some point mentioned how BUCKwild it would have been to watch the M9 try to play What The Fuck Is Up With That within the first ten episodes of c2, with all the shit all of them were hiding and how much their early relationships were based on a mutual understanding that no one would expect each other to bring up the past unless it became a danger - the only one who ever poked that particular bear was Beau with Caleb at the start when she traded access to the Archive for the reason why Caleb gets fucked up by fire, and that private conversation shaped their relationship for the rest of the campaign BUT I digress.)

Nothing anyone confessed during the Honesty exercise was… a surprise. The only one who hadn’t shared the entirety of his past (that he remembered) was Chetney, and his was never the past that felt like a threat - that revelation was more along the lines of FCG’s type of “tell me about your family trauma so I can fix you” line of questioning.

The truths the Hells offered up to each other… they were significant (Fearne, I was disappointed in you for being afraid of your power), and scary (deep down, both Delilah and I kind of want the shard), and hard to say out loud (even on the nights I bunk up with one of you, I feel so lonely), but critically, so little of it was surprising. No one was sharing anything earth-shattering about their pasts or previously unknown plans for future betrayal.

And during the Communication exercise - none of them - Chetney, Imogen, Ashton, or Orym - doubted that their directors were leading them the wrong way. They listened, and paid attention to instructions, and didn’t try their own path because they felt like they knew better.

And then during Trust! The part that should have been the hardest!! All of them were obviously distrustful of each other, shooting around stressed looks, sending familiars to dive-bomb to check for flesh, but like… none of them actually turned on each other. None of them ganged up, or broke off, or stood in opposition - they were wary of each other, and they got the task done.

So… it didn’t really lead to any huge shifts in the dynamic. But that was never really what they needed! The Hells have trusted each other since the beginning, and even when they’re actively having to fight each other, it’s always with a desperation born from a place of concern. They really do care for and love each other. I don’t think any of them, if they sat down to think about it, truly believed that one of them was going to betray the others.

But they haven’t had time to sit and think about it. They have been actively fighting the literal end of the world since like… ep 45 (first irl Ludinus sighting/convo). The apocalypse happened. Has been happening. For thirty episodes now. They spent a good chunk of that time apart from each other, and then the rest of it desperately reaching out to anyone with more power than themselves to beg for their help.

So yeah! It’s not a big surprise that they’re all bottling up a lot of their own shit right now! There aren’t that many personal issues that feel like they deserve more attention than the literal end of the world.

It was inevitable something was going to give. And since Ashton’s shit was up next for dissection because they had a past that brushed up against the Primordials? Of course they were the one whose internal lockdown broke first. And of course when it did, it physically shattered Ashton, too, right along those same fault lines where Milo put them back together the first time. It’s so good that they had friends who were there, past and present, to make sure none of the pieces got lost. To put them back together.

We watched Laudna break down right after, specifically because she was back home, in this place where Delilah had first tortured and killed her, where she had lived as a wraith haunting a castle. Delilah had been slowly picking the lock on the cage the Hells had forced her into, and Ashton’s “betrayal” was the last tumbler Delilah needed to snap into place to break the lock in Laudna’s mind. And her mind shattered, fragmented in the same way it had been after she was first brought back as Delilah’s vessel. How beautiful that it was Laudna’s love of children and her desire to make Ashton a gift (meant to be part insult, “because you’re a child,” and declaration of her care for him, “I like children.”)

And Fearne… Fearne almost broke down after them. Slamming the hammer down next to Ashton’s head over and over and over, screaming at him, wandering away through the city, sleeping alone in the woods… She saw the cliff’s edge coming. That’s why she asked them if they could stop at her Nana’s first.

Because she needed it. And the rest of the Hells say, “Why? Do you think Nana Morri can help us in this?” And Fearne says, “Well, I don’t know, but…” And Imogen says, “Do you need it for you?” And Fearne says, in a small and shattered voice, “…yes.”

And that’s the end of the discussion.

They go home, to a place where they are safe and have time, for the first time since Ruidus was locked in place.

And so they have time to be Honest - and they are. Fearne likes to watch them all and play with their hair while they sleep. Orym has thought through how he would neutralize them if he absolutely had to. Ashton thinks it would be better for him to be dead than for Fearne to be hurt. Imogen is scared to face her mom. Laudna dreams of leaving this behind. FCG is jealous of the people around him with a heart, because they have possibilities he doesn’t. Chetney hasn’t settled down once in 400 years because he’s scared he’s cursed to drive away any family he has.

Behind all of this - I want to know everything about you. I need to make sure you don’t hurt each other. I would sacrifice myself to keep you from pain. I don’t want to choose between my blood and this family we’ve built. I want you all to be safe. I want you to pursue happiness. I don’t want to lose you.

And then, Communication - follow along this path. Listen to my voice. Keep calm, keep quiet. Stay the course. I will keep you safe. Keep walking, keep walking, and… you’re there, honey.

And finally, Trust. Two of them are going to be replaced by fae beings bent on preventing them from completing their mission, and they have to complete this task without letting the infiltrators stop them. Okay. Let’s all stick together. Keep eyes on each other. Wait for the doppelgängers to give themselves away somehow. Do you remember these small, banal details about our mutual history? There’s a possibility that action you took was malicious, but I know you well enough to know that might have been a mistake you made on your own. Here, I’ll walk into traps to show that I’m not going to stop you. I’ll get out of your way and take out the threats. I’ll be eyes in the sky and send my familiar to poke you to test if you feel like you should. But nothing you’re doing makes me see you as a real threat - just the possibility of one. I trust you. I trust in you. I trust myself to know enough about you to identify if you’re doing something differently than normal.

And the result of those exercises? No new information, but maybe some things that we all had lost track of amongst the chaos. I am not shocked by your Honesty. I know deep down that I can rely on your Communication. I do Trust you. I know you. I care for you. I know you care for me, too. Even when I have doubts, even when you fuck up, even when things break bad and you make the wrong call…

We are a team for a reason, and no matter what we said in the beginning, it is not just out of necessity or convenience. Are we a bunch of fucked up, broken people? Absolutely. Are we going to continue to fuck up? Probably. Does that change how we feel about each other? No. Never. As long as you’ll have me, I’ll be here, fighting alongside you. Helping you up when you stumble. Offering a shoulder when you need to cry. Standing over you to protect you if you fall. Laughing with you in good times, kicking ass for you in bad. This is our family, damn it. It is strange, and broken, but it is ours, and it is good.

#critical role #bells hells #c3e80 #cr3 #c3 #this got away from me a bit maybe??? but fuck!! I was feeling so many damn emotions this episode!!! this is obvs a v watsonian take #I also wanted to add the doyalist take that the players needed some role play that was like… thematically appropriate (shit be fucked) #but without world-altering stakes #it’s been a stressful time!! #I am glad that they were having fun with the dnd mini games matt made for them #but anyway the post got too fuckin long so there it is in the tags #fuck I love this story

[towards-toramunda]

What bothers me most about 'Orym is the reason Laudna killed Bor'dor' is iirc in the episode Marisha pretty clearly states Laudna didn't even really notice the nod? She didn't notice much of anything because she was fixated on that one objective, and nothing was going to get in her way. But of course, it still becomes 'Ashton and Orym were horrible for not stopping her.'

Yeah tbh I’ve seen a lot of people bring up that in 4sd Marisha said she was looking to orym and Ashton and Liam said that he wasn’t gonna let bordor leave that scene alive and he knew in that moment she might bring Delilah back but that Orym thought they might need Delilah for this fight and… Like… yes we can acknowledge the enabling, but I’ve seen so many people act like enabling someone to do something he would’ve done either way makes Orym an irredeemable person. I truly believe that the nod didn’t change anything and she would’ve killed bordor regardless. I remember while I was watching the episode thinking the nod felt almost like an act of tragic kindness in the moment. Like Liam/Orym could see how hurt and emotional Marisha/Laudna was in this moment and nodded to let her know that “its okay. I agree with you.” Almost as a way to attempt to lift the burden from her and let her know that she wasn’t alone despite how awful the situation was.

I think it’d be interesting for the story if Laudna was gonna kill him either way but was so traumatized by it all that she began viewing Orym’s nod as “the reason she did it” so she could deflect accountability for it all, BUT I really think she was gonna do it either way.

And like… everyone angry that “he is the reason she leaned back into her addiction” I mean since then Laudna and Imogen have talked about leaning into their dark side with each other and harnessing that power for the mission and nobody in the fandom seems angry at either of them for enabling each other. It feels hypocritical to be so upset with orym still after all this time because he… nodded in agreement with her killing a guy he was going to kill either way and thought they might need Delilah. (For the record I’m messy and I like drama so I’m always gonna support PCs enabling other PCs to do morally questionable things for the sake of the story like Imogen and laudna are doing with each other and like Orym did with the nod. Like yeah push that big red button what’s it gonna do? I’m curious and like messy stories)

#cr discourse #critical role #also this is a dnd game. if we were talking about real people enabling addiction thats bad but this is a dnd game. #like how many people have they killed this campaign alone and we’re acting like this is a murder most foul I mean… this is a dnd game #man… I already regret joining the discourse

[sparring-spirals]

How perfect. How poetic. How painful. How unfair.

How perfect.

A resurrection ritual is equal parts magic and love and luck. The party is not lacking in love, not at all, and they're a little short on magic, but they're working on it- thats what they were asking for. But luck. Luck, in this party? Banking on luck, on the goodwill of the universe? Ashton? Imogen? F.C.G? Fearne? Orym? Chetney?

Of course it turns out the friend they want so dearly to bring back is tied to the mortal enemy of the person helping. Of course, then, the only way around it is to- adventure into a dreamland (a nightmare) of souls and spirits and unknowns, to do battle and to stall, to get their friend back.

How unlucky. How lucky, that this new plan is not really about luck.

Their only option is to dive into an unknown, cold and unfriendly and hostile space and do battle for their friends soul, try to bring her back without her worst enemy digging her claws into her. They said yes. Of course they did. They need to stall, they need to risk their lives to get Delilah far enough away that Laudna can come back unburdened.

They said yes, they said yes so fast.

They're there, now, fighting and adventuring and the enemies are not random, the enemies are- darkness, whispers, taunts. Awful recollections of one of their friends worst moments.

Personal demons, in the most literal sense.

The Bells know, about personal demons. About checkered pasts and hurts and darkness nipping at your heels. They don't always know a lot, they don't always know how to defeat them, but they all know, intimately, about personal demons. About personal fights and worst memories circling your neck like tangible things.

They know. And they know about each other's demons, too, they can recognize what is fire and what is a burning. And part of the issue is that your personal demons are often your own to fight. People can know, people can hold space, people can listen and support but they cannot necessarily fight your battles for you.

But- what luck. Here- here- they are. Dousing fires set by awful townspeople, they are fighting off encroaching darkness, they are diving, deeper, and deeper into darker depths and calling out for Laudna, fighting through some of her worst experiences with hope and determination and the kind of love that burns a path (that douses a fire). You cannot always fight battles for your loved ones, but here, they can. And they will.

Resurrections are equal parts love, magic, and luck.

What luck, they put together a solution so reliant on the first.

#critical role #cr spoilers #c3e36 #bell's hells #this is So Poetic i love it and i love THEM and they love laudna and i am. very happy with this turn of events #character meta #my meta #narrative meta #found family #laudna #c3 #aaaaaaa #love in critical role

[aeoris4lovers]

i think ashton’s got a big storm coming when we switch teams. and by that, i mean i think they’re about to get aggressively cared about, whether they like it or not.

i have a feeling that he probably won’t be doing so hot after the end of 51 — this is, what, the third time he’s had the experience of something going wrong and then waking up (mostly) alone? i can’t imagine those parallels would be lost on him, and taliesin said some stuff on 4sd tonight that seemed to suggest that ashton is going to be pretty solidly in “it’s happening again” mode.

and who are they with? orym and laudna. you know, two of the people in the party voted most likely to ignore their own problems by focusing on someone else’s (along with fcg, of course). orym is for sure having lots of bad feelings about not being able to stop otohan again and finding out his family died for what was essentially a test run, and when he’s not doing great, his main coping mechanism is to just focus on worrying about someone else instead. and laudna is definitely super worried about imogen and freaked out by not having her there, and i think she needs someone else to focus on and take care of now that she can’t give that attention to imogen. and god only knows they won’t be able to let that out on each other because then they’d actually have to think about their own shit.

so what are they going to do when they see that their other friend is having a certified bad time? they’re going to make that their problem and ashton is going to experience the full force of his two designated helper friends who not only genuinely care about him, but also really need someone to care about so they don’t totally lose their minds. and that’ll only be amplified if my other suspicion is right and that team starts delving into ashton’s backstory, because i have a feeling that’ll be...a bit rough.

i don’t know, i’d just really like to see ashton get a healthy dose of “everything is fucked but these people do in fact give a shit about you and they’re going to be so annoyingly insistent about it that even you can’t deny it.” i think it’d do them some good, and i think laudna and orym are arguably in the best position out of anyone in the party to give it.

the hells have been slowly chipping away at ashton’s walls for a while and it’ll take a long time for them to get all the way through, but i’d like to think the split gives orym and laudna a shot at making a really good dent.

#is this just wishful thinking? maybe but i think its definitely possible #its just a matter of how they decide to play it really and id love to see it go this way #i just need ashton to get some love okay #cr theory #ashton greymoore #laudna #orym of the air ashari #c3 #bells hells #critical role

[shriekshrike]

y’know what’s really interesting about last night’s episode is that it really revealed the BIGGEST flaw that bells hells has as a party:

they don’t fucking trust each other enough. or rather, they don’t trust themselves.

sure, they have the “you can have my back, you can save my life, you can heal me and switch places with me in a fight, you can head into danger and come out just fine” trust because if they didnt, they wouldn’t have made it this far. literally.

but they’re all so fucking careful when it comes to their suspicions! chet never says anything to anyone about dusk, orym doesn’t say shit about reading chet’s and dusk’s lips, imogen doesn’t say boo about not being able to read dusk’s mind. it’s not that they don’t think the others aren’t capable, but more like “if i don’t get all my ducks in a row no one will believe me” which!! is so much. to think about.

because when it’s said like that it’s not like they don’t trust one another, it’s more like they DON’T TRUST THEMSELVES individually! which makes so much sense! ashton got betrayed by ppl they thought they knew better than anyone else in the world, FCG finds out someone they thought was dead is actually alive and never bothered to get them back and they’re also fucking glitching more and more often and he finds out not only did dancer not make them but also they are MUCH MUCH older than anything or anyone else they’ve ever met (pre divergence BABY aeor is for LOVERS nd robits), imogen was a hermit in her own fucking home bc no one wanted to be around the girl who could get into your head (not like she had a choice sometimes) and she doesn’t trust herself not to somehow cross lines with people whether that be on accident or on purpose, laudna licherally spent 30 years post-death being ousted from town to town because people found her a freak and a witch and has a DEAD NECROMANCER WHO KILLED HER IN HER HEAD, fearne is slowly coming to realization that her parents maybe weren’t sending her post cards all those years and that her life really wasn’t all it was cracked up to be and her memory is a little fucky (that feywild shit, huh), orym still probably feels residual survivor’s guilt in being unable to protect the one person who really truly mattered to him and sees it as a failing in himself rather than just something that happened, chet is a werewolf who literally gets run out of towns because of what he is and he could literally lose control if he’s too hurt or out of it and hurt someone else (as seen w orym)

like they’re so...aware of the trust they have for one another, but because they don’t trust themselves, they never SAY SHIT bc they’re always second guessing their suspicions which is so fascinating to watch; they don’t trust themselves enough to follow their instincts to trust one another even moreso. they’ve all got like folie a deaux but it’s mass imposter syndrome instead.

and it’s not like dusk knew that abt the bells, but it worked so well in dusk’s favor bc even if it was an 11th hour realization and discovery for the pc’s who did start to get suspicious, it would have been enough time to maybe do something. but they DIDN’T and it kinda doomed them!

after this i hope they get more...confident in their own capabilities. or at least learn to trust their own guts without needing confirmation or waiting for all the chips to land. sometimes, you just gotta listen to the sirens in ur head because that’s the part of u that wants u to survive no matter what.

dusk says a lot of shit and idk how much was truth laced with the sweetness of lies you wanna hear, but they got one thing fucking right. bells hells are special. and they gotta realize it before it really lands them in hotter fucking water.

#cr spoilers #critical role #bells hells #i wuv them and i think about them a lot ok #they really gotta trust themselves #as much as they trust one another.

[isagrimorie]

[initial reactions] Critical Role: Bells Hells episode 49

That was such a good episode, I know that the characters were stressed being on board the sky ship, eating up time as the Apogee Solstice creeps ever forward but it was such a great moment for the characters to unwind a bit and talk. I always love their planning stuff despite how many people gripe about it on the chat and reddit, I love their thought process and the way they try to mitigate the damage they do.

I already love Laudna but IMO she was in fine form this episode, finally cracking Ashton open and getting that long awaited talk out of the way. I can see why the dynamic of Keyleth and Percy work so well in C1 and I wish its something they can show more in the animated series. *crossing fingers for season 3 of TLOVM!

It does feel like its a dynamic Taliesin and Marisha want to recreate in a different flavor with Ashton and Laudna, and they're doing so successfully. I love how Ashton and Laudna talk, and call each other's bullshit out but this episode especially, Laudna is showing off the wisdom she learned in 30 hard earned years she's lived.

Orym's also successfully reaching out to people with Dorian and I love how we're getting hints of things in EXU Prime that in their end, things are also very dicey. Opal getting dark???

I am so into that and Fearne's immediate concern is apparent. But also, Marisha knowing the details of the EXU Prime plot is so juicy!

The gang accomplished so much recruiting Ira, finally telling some more people in authority or approximate authority about how dire the situations are. Telling Pike, even though she can't do things, maybe? Possibly? Apparently, things on Tal'dorei are also very dicey, so Whitestone might have its own problems with the Ziggurat.

I'm going to heap more praise towards Laudna because of the interrogative sort of femme fatale honey pot play she did with Ira, getting Ira to talk more about it, tagged teamed with Fearne at the end.

Speaking of, Fearne is very much still ambivalent towards her parents, sure she's nice to them but as she told Nana Morri, her parents feel more like strangers than people related to her.

Also, Thank Goodness, the team's finally equipped but I need Dani to remind the cast that they still have residuum and the bracers of defense!

I feel like there's gonna be some Mad Max shenanigans that's going to happen on the Apogee Solstice, and its going to be heart pounding and epic and so great.

FCG also learned some things about himself, about how he is not alone and Devaxian also stressed how from this point on he is gifted with a chance to own his own future. A future of his own making. (A theme that will be repeated a lot!).

And then there's that moment when Imogen meets with Liliana again and, and, and I am VINDICATED!!! LILIANA IS A TRUE BELIEVER. She might even be Ludinus's real right hand and not Otohan which would be DELICIOUS.

I love that Liliana tried to get Imogen on her side and Imogen genuinely considered it because the vision she painted was tempting, for someone like Imogen who was tormented by her powers that's a siren call.

But of course, Fearne and Orym was around in the dream and they played it as silent observers instead of actively interacting with the dream space like how the others did it. It does feel like Fearne and Orym are still at heart, a unit. In a similar but different way to Laudna and Imogen. I love the talk they had about Imogen, about the possibility of Imogen turning because of her mother. Orym and Fearne will do what's necessary to stop things from happening and it's really fascinating how that will go.

Laura's face was interesting the whole time too.

And then, and then just when the group thinks its hopeless they get a possible help and distraction of the big army with Keyleth coming in, sounding exhausted and heart sick but still willing to help to put Ashari volunteers to help. I hope the group remembers to warn Keyleth about the antimagic that's going to happen.

I feel like Keyleth and the Air Ashari can act as distraction while the Bells Hells, as a strike team can go and take down the Malleus Key. Everyone in the cast looked happy at this development, except for Marisha who looked worried and had her Thinking Face on.

Near the end, Imogen talks to Orym and asked how he can go on after everyone he lost and they have a heartfelt talk. Orym tells Imogen that he believes in her but Imogen is not convinced but doesn't try to read his mind to know if this is true. Instead, at long last, after many episodes.

Imogen goes back to the room she shares with Laudna and finally talks to her. Whatever impetus it was: her fear, uncertainty, or the realization that she shares some similarities with her father and that's the reluctance to talk.

Laudna asks if Imogen is okay, and automatically, Imogen answers she is. Laudna gently tells Imogen she didn't need to lie to Laudna about 'being fine'. And so Imogen opens the conversation with admitting that she's been afraid of really talking to Laudna after she was resurrected, that she had something to tell Laudna.

Laudna asks Imogen what it is she wanted to say but Imogen hesitates and then says something about her fear and god I love how Laudna approached her talk with Imogen. I love that Laudna went about it with understanding because, of course, who more than Laudna hasn't thought what would have happened if life had been different.

Laudna had thirty years to think similar thoughts, to wish a different life than the one she had. She candidly told Ashton she made Patê so she won't lose her mind wandering alone.

But through everything Laudna lived through she is very cognizant too the reason she met Imogen and the other Bells Hells was because of who she is and became. And I think Marisha has her answer to Aabria's question from the 4 Sided Dive a long time ago -- there is a part of her that is a little grateful for Delilah or whatever patron that made her a Hollow One, that she has this powers now and ability to be spooky. Things she enjoys.

It's a little messed up and complicated.

I also love that while Laudna didn't hear Imogen's promise about how Laudna will always have a choice, Laudna unknowingly echoed back Imogen's words. Imogen has a choice. She will always have a choice and having the ability to choose is a power all its own. Its not something gods can take away.

Honestly, I love how Laudna is talking to Imogen from a place of understanding and I think more than anything, this helped Imogen solidify her grasp of why they're fighting. It's not just because its wrong and kill other people. All morally right reasons why they need to stop Ludinus and his group.

It's because every individual deserves a right to choose. And that love also means loving every part of a person, especially the weird parts of them.

Imogen might have lost her nerve to tell Laudna she loved her, loved her, romantic stylez and Laudna might slowly be waking into the part of herself that can access it. But its plain as day they love each other and I'm okay to wait on how long and slow this will cook, but also saying things like:

"I feel so comfortable and bonded with you. We transcend words in our relationship.

"You'll always have me."

"I'll always be there to support you whatever choice you make.

"You're my tether."

"That tether goes beyond this realm and this life."

C'MON. Those words are my ship Kryptonite! If I hadn't already shipped them, this would have definitely tip the scales! And I feel very well fed tonight!

God I love them. I love the Bells Hells.

#critical role spoilers #cr spoilers #critical role #critical role c3 spoilers #bells hells #imogen temult #laudna #fearne calloway #orym of the air ashari #ashton greymoore #chetney pock o’pea #ship: laudna x imogen #ship: imogen x laudna #ship: southern gothic #imodna #southern gothic #cr 3x49 #long post

[c-is-for-circinate]

The thing is, the Bell's Hells are the mindfuck party. They're the read-your-thoughts, grift/goad/gaslight party. They're going to pick your pocket, they're going to terrify you down to your bones, they're going to force you into therapy and make you question your sanity and steal your secrets and your stuff and they'll smile doing it.

So much of the way they've demonstrated respect for one another, in fact, has come down to not doing that. Not prying. Not lying. They play "What the fuck is up with that?", and it's about asking instead of taking. Some of them were evasive. By and large, they were allowed to be.

Fearne picks the party's pockets and Ashton picks hers back -- it's not permission, exactly, but it becomes a game, something very nearly consensual. This party asks each other for consent so much. "Do you want to tell us what's wrong?" "Do you want me to help?" "I can try to look inside your mind, for your sake -- do you want me to?"

It means that by and large they have been more open to each other when questions get asked, because they all know they can say 'no comment'. (Chetney's still an evasive motherfucker, but what can you do.) It means that we get things like the Imogen-Laudna fight, with mutual friends who want to help and will offer advice but also won't ask too many questions about the details because my business only extends to what you want to give me, and we were all a little worried about that but it also worked. Laudna and Imogen worked it out themselves. They asked for forgiveness and it was granted.

They don't take no for an answer from Fearne's parents. They don't take a casual brush-off for an answer from the Nightmare King. They don't back off on other people, they only back off for each other, because they respect each other and obeying boundaries is how they show it.

Which has a lot of impact, I think, on the way the FCG fight ended on Thursday night, because the conclusion the group came to is, "if any one of us flies off the handle, the rest of us will stop you." Imogen says to FCG that she will look into his mind without asking if she has to. As a party, as a team, they agree to keep an eye on each other. To keep watch and be ready if anybody else explodes. To interfere.

And I think part of why that conversation is so powerful is because it is, in its own way, still more of that asking for consent. We are telling each other right now that this is how it's going to go: these are my boundaries, these are my limits. I will not fuck with your shit unless your shit is going off the rails, and if it is, I am telling you now that I will stop it. I'm telling you now, so you can register a record of your own boundaries. This is our new explicit mutual agreement. We will step into each other's business as a group in these situations, and we know this beforehand. If you can't consent to that, then I like you and I'll miss you and I wish you well, but I can't agree to adventuring with you any more.

I really love how distance has been an expression of closeness for this group, the paradox and the respect of it. After all, you don't need to be careful with a stranger you don't care about, the same way you do with your friends. I'm eager to see if and how the group dynamics develop after Thursday, though, to see how careful changes. To maybe see the Hells reach the point where they can be a little more careless with each other again and still feel safe and okay. To see them choose to still take care in handling one another anyway, because they love each other enough to give it.

#cr spoilers #c3e31 #look there was just a LOT in this one okay #I have feelings

[littlefanthings]

I know some people didn’t like Orym’s reaction and speech following FCG’s “episode” but I read the situation differently. I don’t think he was intending to yell or blame FCG, I think he was trying to get the group to behave more responsibly in general.

In this episode alone we had some very frankly fucked up behavior from a lot of the group just because they’re a big bunch of shiny red button presssers who’ll do crazy things just for laughs. But they’re getting to a point where they have to stop pressing all the shiny buttons and think a little more before they leap or someone is really going to get hurt.

Ashton haphazardly smashed an extremely important and powerful crystal “just to see” if it would break as a means of testing it when there were a variety of other less destructive ways to go about it. No talking it over with anyone, just smashed it while everyone else was distracted. He could have cost them a vital tool in solving the Ruidus puzzle.

Fearne took purple rocks that she knows are dangerous and have caused a lot of drama and heartache between Laudna and Imogen and hid one in Laudna’s dollhouse. Because, as has been pointed out numerous times, she doesn’t think about or understand the consequences of her actions on other people. Not only could those rocks actually harm someone, but it caused Laudna a serious amount of emotional distress.

Chetney decided to whack FCG with a mallet during his “episode” which was what actually set off the whole PvP situation.

FCG literally takes on the pain and suffering of others, sacrificing his own health and mental well being. He’s constantly refusing to look out for himself because he’s so focused on helping others that he’s stressed out to the point of going catatonic and violent. He won’t consider that taking care of himself is another way to care for others as he can’t help anyone if he’s a broken wreck.

I think Orym’s speech was less about FCG’s attack and more about the group needing to get their acts together and behave as a team instead of a bunch of people who hang out together but still all just do whatever they want.

Was it a perfect speech? Maybe not, but I think it wasn’t about blame as much as it was about forcing everyone to see they need to get over themselves and really be there for each other.

#critical role #orym of the air ashari #cr c3e31

[centaurianthropology]

Given how things are shaping up in C3 I have some thoughts about what might happen next (moon scouting aside). It’s clear that the Hells are given power-ups similar but different to the Vestiges of Divergence quests in VM. And honestly, I totally understand how the shard ended up with Ashton rather than Fearne. From an in-character perspective (and even from a player perspective), of course it went to them. The shard appeared at the end of what has essentially been Ashton’s backstory quest, which has been all about titans. Ashton is about titans and dunamancy. Fearne is about fae and a touch of infernal. So when people insist she get the titan shard just because they’re both fire-based? The shard that appeared right at the end of Ashton’s quest for information about himself? Yeah, I’d want to give it to him too, concentrating titan power into Ashton.

And that leads me to my real thoughts about what happens next: essentially the Hells, or at least several of them, have doubled down on what originally gave them power. Ashton has doubled down on titans, Laudna on Delilah (and I think we’ll get a full quest of that later).

I think that the moon scouting mission will double as something of Imogen’s continued backstory quest (a lot of the early part of the campaign started it, but this, I hope, will focus on Leliana). I think we’ll probably gain some moon object for her to absorb and power her up with moon stuff. And that’s another thing about the way this is shaping up: they are embracing the most dangerous parts of themselves, the parts that could kill them or turn them evil. That’s what each of them will have to grapple with (and why I’m thrilled it was Ashton who got the fire shard, because that puts them on a collision course with repeating the choices their father made, and really coming to terms with what being Hishari means. From a storytelling perspective, this is by far the cooler choice).

I have an idea that Laudna could literally absorb Delilah in a way that Delilah is no longer in control. Laudna becoming her own patron is the best possible end to cutting her puppet strings, and that would be a fascinating way to do it: stealing all the power and the last bit of essence of the woman who murdered her. There is something of a darkness there, with the end of a vengeance storyline, which will be juicy.

Fearne would have two options: doubling down on being Fey by obtaining something from another spelunk in the Feywild, or going to the hells and retrieving something infernal. I think the infernal route is likely the real Dark Fearne route, while the fey route likely puts her on the path to becoming Archfey, which could be a very interesting end for her character (and likely one Ashley would be intrigued by, to become the new Grandma Morri).

Chetney is likely going to delve either into something Catha-related (other moon, whoo!) or something nature-related. I think going white moon to Imogen’s red moon would be cool, and would really focus in on controlling his werewolf side.

FCG is likely going to have to go Aeorian. They could go divine, but I think Aeorian would be juicier. Delving into their past and the person they used to be before they lost their memories is something I’ve been excited for, and even though they’re already coming to the conclusion, realizing that what makes them themselves is their choices now, not a thousand years ago, will be very cool. We might even see a different side to FCG come out and be in conflict with his current self (something else I’m expecting in a lot of these storylines).

And finally there’s Orym, the little guy. He’s actually the hardest to define how to give a power-up to, because so much of his story is about not having that. All his friends are magical powerhouses, and he’s a little dude with a sword. So I actually am hoping that Orym either goes for another nature-based Wildmother powerup (making him the one with divine powers), or one of entirely humanity-based power, possibly by teaming up with someone like Percy, who was also never divine.

Anyway, this all may get proven wrong (and a lot of the finer details almost certainly will!), but this is sort of the trajectory I see in the next leg of their journey: getting their own legendary power-ups, but those power-ups forcing them to confront their past and the possible futures. And because they’re incorporating them into their very beings, those confrontations are both inevitable and necessary.

#critical role #thoughts about where to go from here #still loving recent developments

[utilitycaster]

Do you think that Laura and Marisha are deliberately making their relationship somewhat toxic and unsustainable or do you think they see the relationship as healthy? It is just so different from all of the other relationships they have been a part of and not really in a good way. Would love to get your perspective on it if you have one

I am honestly unsure. I would like to say it's deliberate. Prior to it becoming canon, in fact, I, and a lot of other people who were less than enthused by Imogen and Laudna's romance and weren't entirely sold from the start, made the case that we expected they would be talking to each other and would put together a compelling story, not the dull fluff so common in fanon. While whether it's compelling is a subjective judgment, we know for a fact they didn't talk to each other. We know for a fact Marisha was surprised by the question of "Can I kiss you," and Laura was surprised by the answer. We know from a 4SD not long after (4SD #16, Kiss and Tell) that several episodes later they still hadn't talked. We know that Marisha perceives Laudna as holding Imogen back (and that Laudna perceives herself as doing so) from the Rose City Q&A. We know that from 4SD #20 (Episode Twenty) that Laura doesn't like conflict in narrative and Marisha does, and that Laura was thrown by Laudna's regression following Ashton's attempt to absorb the shard (4SD #19, Shard Candy).

I don't know if it's deliberate or not; I don't have any extra insight that isn't public knowledge any fan can easily access. But man, it doesn't feel like these are two actors on the same page about what's going on.

I've touched on this before but mostly in tags or whisper posts but I've always felt ill at ease with a number of for lack of a better term "fandom-approved opinions" and one of the ones that has baffled me the most is this idea that Marisha and Laura have exceptional chemistry. I watched Campaign 1 knowing the endgame ships but deliberately avoiding the fandom, and Vex and Keyleth did not even once occur to me as a thing. I watched the first year of Campaign 2 without a ton of fandom interaction because I was avoiding additional C1 spoilers and it seemed crystal clear that the obvious ship was Beau and Yasha; it felt like Beau and Jester only even had enough potential for me to multiship it as my general "whomever Jester picks" for like, 30 episodes. And yet people - people who didn't even ship either of the above ships and in some cases disliked them- would just say "oh man I can't wait until we get to a campaign where we can finally explore Marisha and Laura's incredible chemistry!" and it's like. I feel like I'm the kid in the Emperor's New Clothes on this! I understand that chemistry is to an extent a matter of taste and subjectivity, but it just increasingly feels like people looked at two campaigns of tables where Ashley was frequently absent and said "well, if I want an F/F ship that's between two of the women in the cast, I guess this is what I have to work with" and repeated to themselves that a flat pamplemousse La Croix was a Piña Colada until they started to believe it. I mean if someone wants to explain it to me in good faith I suppose be my guest and I will try to take it in, but it feels like people just treat this as incontrovertible fact and if you doubt it they're like "don't you have eyes" and it's like, well, pretend I don't. Explain like I'm eyeless and five because I have never understood this. They both have more chemistry with every single other cast member; it's not all romantic but man, I didn't even buy Laudna and Imogen as platonic best friends of two years. I have never had this problem with any other pre-existing character relationships Marisha and Laura have played, platonic or otherwise. It's literally just them. I just never feel like they're quite on the same page.

Back to the relationship between Imogen and Laudna onscreen, this was easily the best conversation since the start of the gnarlrock fight, and it is my hope it doesn't fizzle out the way that did. You can't keep kissing Laudna whenever she fears she's lost forever to Delilah, Imogen. Or you can, but that won't fix the problem. Again: are you disgusted? Do you feel betrayed? If you're not, why did you say that? If you are, how will you move past it? Do you want to be with someone who never feels like they're good enough for you? Laudna, do you want to be with someone who, no matter what they say, you feel you're holding back?

Early in the campaign, my feeling was that of our current situation, switched - Imogen felt her powers were a burden and a curse and Laudna kept referring to them and to her glowingly. It's just...ships passing in the night, no pun intended here. I hope it's on purpose and whatever comes from it is a good story - and either a tragedy or a happy story could be a good one. But I have a nagging sensation that Laudna wants out but is afraid to say no, and Imogen is afraid to let go, and I honestly don't know if the actors have realized this impasse and how the characters might resolve it, one way or another, besides the insufficient bandaid of a kiss whenever the conversation gets too uncomfortable.

#answered #minxie-the-sabertooth-kitty #really the mission statement of this blog is I am the kid in the Emperor's New Clothes #also i know i keep relying on food metaphors sorry i really like food and feel it's fairly universally accessible to understand #anyway. i am sure some will not believe me here but I think I and most people who agree with me desperately wish we liked this ship #i do not think most people who dislike it are actively hoping it crashes and burns it's just #it feels so fundamentally disconnected and lifeless. at least the conflict shocks it into something vaguely animated #the vindication i was right about this lack of chemistry is still ultimately a consolation prize. i promise you i'd rather be proven wrong #i'd rather be wowed by a brilliant dynamic ship i didn't expect to like. but here we are. #cr spoilers #long post

[seasinkarnadine]

Thanks @luckyfirerabbit​!

“Alright c’mon baby, bring papa the big money, big money–” Chetney tosses his dice. “YE-ES! Take that you little shit!” He thrusts a gnarled finger at the poor dealer. 

“Be nice, now,” Orym scolds gently.

“Oh, this one’s hot! Hey, is this table free?” A young elven man squeezes in at Imogen’s side as Chetney scoops up his winnings. 

“I was here first!” A woman nearly knocks into Imogen trying to secure her own seat.

“Watch it!” Someone else snaps, even as their elbow nudges against Imogen’s. The contact sends static slithering up her forearm.

“Fuck off,” she snarls. “There’s other tables.”

“Lady all the other tables are full, and you’ve been here for an hour.” What? No–oh. So they are. So they have been. The crowd’s really picked up at the Lakecap Skyport since she last looked up. That’s–that’s a lot of people. 

“You okay?” Orym’s voice is gentle but it still manages to cut through the hum of the crowd.

“Mmhmm.” She nods with what she hopes is conviction. Her chest is tight. She inhales deeply tin an attempt to loosen it up some. Maybe it’s the alcohol. She’s had two more of those “lavender martini” things that Ashton brought. Her head’s certainly buzzing. She raises a hand to press against her temple. Orym’s saying something.

“Yes, feel free. We’re heading up.” 

“What? No! There was– oh. Oh! Okay. Yes, ah, um, keep the table warm for us, we’ll be back in the morning!” Chetney adjusts his vest with an air of self importance.

“Wait, what? No.” They think they’re being subtle, do they? “I’m fine! Let’s go play that card game–what was it? Stork of the Storm?” She slides off of her seat and bumps into a half-orc whose drink nearly sloshes out of his hand.

“Hey!”

“S-sorry,” she stammers. It feels like her whole side is staticky from the contact. A burst of nausea rolls over her. She clamps it down and grits her teeth. The Stuck of the–Stork— Storm game. With the cards. It’s over in the corner. Gods where even IS the corner? There!

‘Fewer people, see?’ She points it out to Orym and Chetney. ‘See? I’ll be fine.’

‘It’s getting kind of late. I’m ready to go to bed. I think the others are wrapping up.’ 

‘I’ll just tell em to meet us at that table, it’s fine,’ Imogen replies. She won’t let them stop having fun on her account. Not even if her head is screaming with each word sent. There’s all kinds of voices pressing in on her. Needles, needles, ice picks, knives. One foot in front of the other, Temult.

“‘Scuse me,” she murmurs as she pushes past a dark haired man.

“You’re excused!” If her head were in better condition she might psychic lance his rude ass. No, no–no harming civilians, Imogen. She’s still heading for the corner table. Right? The world’s going a little blurry around the edges. The world tilts. 

Someone’s yelling. What? My drink all over–arrested for being drunk and disorderly–Skycap shouldn’t let so many people–Please dice please dice please dice— That woman is absolutely wasted–If I roll once more I’m sure it’ll turn out– Should I call security –PERFECT ROLL!--Kind of behavior— intolerable—

Stop, stop, stop. Quiet. Can you not yell? I can hear you just fine, you don’t have to–

‘Imogen.’ The thrum of a cello slides right through the clamor. She knows that voice. She’d know that voice anywhere.

‘Laud?’ She swallows. ‘Where are you?’ There’s a dozen faces in the crowd all directed at her but they won’t stay still. It feels like someone’s stabbing her eyes. 

‘Can you open your eyes?’

‘Light’s too bright.’

‘Okay. Can you feel me?’ There’s a pressure against her palm. Something cold, even through the leather. The string quartet of Laudna’s mind swells and the nails-on-chalkboard of the crowd fades.

‘Yeah. Yeah.’ She squeezes. The leather squeaks. ‘Chetney wanted to…we were gonna play cards.’ It wasn’t supposed to go like this.

‘Tomorrow, hmm? We’re all a bit tired. Let me take you to bed.’

‘You gotta–’ she hiccups. ‘You gotta buy a lady dinner, first.’ She feels Laudna’s mirth through their connection more than anything else. Imogen thinks maybe she laughs, too.

‘How about breakfast?’

‘Yeah. Breakfast sounds nice.’ She keeps her eyes shut, trusting Laudna to guide her through the crowd. They can always play cards tomorrow.

#imodna #cr3 #critical role #prompt fill #original content #my writing #short fic #imogen temult #laudna #luckyfirerabbit #no editing we die like men

[deramin2]

Bell's Hells as imposters:

Chetney

Travis would have so much fun. Chetney is always a bit of a wild card and Travis said on 4-Sided Dive that he loves to play by listening to his intrusive thoughts. This could be his ultimate form. Just sew chaos. Travis and Marisha have also recently come out of Candela Obscura dealing with a similar situation. I think they should get a turn at it.

Laudna

Absolutely juicy with their existing fears about Delilah. This is Laudna's nightmare scenario. She's so scared all the time about being untrustworthy but also desperately wants to be trusted and loved. Especially since one of her truths is that she doesn't know where she ends and Delilah begins. And Imogen's truth was that she's disgusted that Delilah is always watching them. (Don't unpack how you actively watch everyone else, Imogen, and took off the circlet deliberately to keep doing that.) Marisha would go absolutely ham with this. Sometimes a highly responsible woman who people rely on all the time just wants to go a little apeshit.

Fresh Cut Grass

Losing control and hurting their friends is something FCG has struggled with that's really fucked up their life and the lives of their (former) friends. They're scared that they can't be trusted, and they never can be. So this just plays right into their insecurities. What happens when their friends really can't trust them. Sam is really good at playing close to the chest. If FCG is the imposter, he's likely to sabotage them in subtle ways they won't recognize until it's too late. He may get things thrown at him (again), and he would enjoy it.

Fearne

Fearne is an agent of chaos on a good day. I think it will be very hard for the group to tell what side she's on no matter what. When she feels threatened she acts more in her own self-interest anyway. Especially when she doesn't know who else she can trust. I'm really looking forward to her either way. I think Ashley deserves to actively work against her friends, as a treat. Ashley didn't get a chance to fight the party as Yasha while she was at the table, so I think she deserves the opportunity.

Imogen

Let's be real, everyone is worried that with the moon stuff Imogen will turn on them. Either because she willingly sides with her mom in a desperate bid for approval, or because the pull of Predathos takes over. Bell's Hells are likely to be highly suspicious of her either way. Imogen's been under a lot of pressure for a while to prove she is still on their side. If she's the imposter she's likely to keep doing that, but also be working against them for real. I think Laura would have a lot of fun really leaning into this.

Imogen and Laudna being the two traitors together would be very fun because they're like 50% of each other's impulse control and it would be entertaining to see them against the world for real.

Orym

Orym is the person the group trusts the most, and who supports and believes in the goodness of the group the most. He also has contingency plans for everyone (hey Batman). I would love to see Orym get to totally snap without undermining the hope and aspiration built into the character. Plus Liam loves horror and fucked up stories and I think we'd get some phenomenal drama out of it. It would be fun to watch Orym hunt them for sport.

Ashton

Ashton probably trusts himself the least out of the group right now and his fuck-up is why they're here in the first place. They were told to their face that their friends don't trust them and that they seem in it for themselves. So I think it would be very entertaining to work through that by leaning all the way into it. Taliesin has fought the party before and it was very fun. *Slaps Ashton's back* This genasi can fit so much angst in him.

Conclusion

Everyone at the table would have a really fun time getting to work against their friends in a safe controlled environment. This is Bell's Hell's worst fear that they've been working very hard to try and prevent. They're scared of each of them turning for different reasons. This is definitely a hag's challenge. This will be so much juicy drama and angst for Nana Mori to feed off of. Whoever pulls the traitor cards is going to be a fun combo. This might break them, but hopefully it will also build them back up.

They're so afraid they can only save the world if all of them are on board and are terrified of failure. This actually lets them test it with lower stakes.

Maybe? We don't actually know what the penalty for failure is because FCG willingly had his memory of the deal erased. They haven't failed an exercise yet. So it could be that nothing happens. Or it could be that if they win all three challenges, she messes with time in exactly the way they want. But if they fail she works against them in a way that makes it more dramatic for her. Is she more a hag with a certain nature, or is she Fearne's grandmother with will protect her from all harm? We'll find out!

#critical role #critical role spoilers #critical role meta #critical role campaign 3 #Bell's Hells #chetney pock o'pea #laudna critical role #fresh cut grass #fearne calloway #imogen temult #orym of the air ashari #ashton greymoore #long post

[fluidstatick]

I've finally had some coffee and given myself the chance to look back over the last four episodes of cr3, figuring out how this happened. This got long. Strap in.

In 3.74, Ashton told Evontra'vir "I seek my past, I seek power. I seek to know who I am." Evontra'vir tells them that their father, Evterin, came to ask for power. "He was a broken man of burning purpose. He came to ask me for the golden purpose they felt the world owed them. He claimed visions that promised greatness. He was not wrong. I showed him his future, and showed him the way to the necropolis of Toramunda, where he recovered the final shard of Ka'mort. He thought his destiny was his to embrace, but he was wrong. He was meant to create and destroy the Hishari, and in the process, create you. He could not see beyond his own aspirations, but now you have returned to me seeking another piece of history's sorrow, in the name of finding your own destiny."

Too Flowery; Didn't Read: Ashton contains a shard of Ka'mort, the primordial titan empress of Earth, because their father blew up the Hishari trying to wield it incorrectly.

Evontra'vir vagues for a while about who and what he is, but that's not relevant to this investigation I'm doing. Ashton gives the tree a hit from their pipe of heroism, to try and give insight into who he was. They only get back vague images of the tree collecting souls from the air around him.

Matt's delivery of this conversation is extremely slow, and I found myself easily distracted, so I missed a lot of Tal's microexpressions during this bit the first time. Watching it back again, I note that Ashton is visibly processing the fact that they're here because of their father's big greedy mistake, and that the calamity was a big greedy mistake that created Evontra'vir. The gears are turning, and they're deciding it will probably benefit them to make massive, stupid decisions and create something legendary. They've decided to get suicidally reckless, because to them, that's how creation happens.

In the latest 4sd, one of vanishingly few things that stuck out to me was Taliesin saying, basically, "I've realized that Ashton and Percy hate each other because they're pretty much the same person. They're both stubborn, reckless, broken assholes who make big stupid moves, and they see that in each other, and they can't stand it." Marisha was surprised, but Ashley wasn't. In fact, Tal said to Ashley shortly after that, "we're going to have a chat about this fire shard off camera. But I think we're on the same page."

Anyway, Evontra'vir says, slowly and with much cryptic flourish, that ashton will have to make a few very big decisions and become someone of great importance soon, whether they want to or not. Then the tree splits open to make a portal and says I'm sending you to where the shard is. Hurry, you're running out of time." They hop through the portal into a blizzard. Episode ends.

In 3.75, when they get to the bottom of the cave diving situation, they find a bunch of little fire imps guarding the shard. It's made abundantly clear that the fire shard and earth shard are meant for two different vessels, and if they're put into the same vessel things won't end well. Ashton's eyes sparkle like Oh Really? The party hems and haws for a bit about the safest way to retrieve the shard, but Ashton gets frustrated, says fuck it, and hops into the pool of lava that the shard is sitting at the bottom of. They start taking disgusting amounts of fire damage. Imogen asks telepathically if they're ok, and they just scream back. Fearne says well, fuck this, and dives in after them. They both come up out of the lava, somehow not dead. Their combined lack of self preservation saved both of them. Ashton says "I always wanted a sister." (Mirroring what imodna said about each other earlier in the campaign, basically rigging the callowmoore ship to sail.) Fearne misinterprets this as setting a hard boundary ("that's not where I was seeing this going - never mind.")

But that sets another leg of this awful table. Ashton has swung for the fences, gotten their shit rocked, and Fearne has saved them. The expectation has been set: Ashton fucks up, Fearne runs damage control.

The rest of the party wonders who should have the shard. Fearne doesn't want it, she's cagey about it. The party reconfirms with Matt that letting Ashton have it wouldn't end well. Ashton looks unconvinced; "He said it might be bad, not that it definitely would be bad."

A while back when they said I'm done fucking around, i wanna be a hero, they wanted to believe they were going to become more like Orym. We wanted to believe it too. But their version of heroism isn't being prudent and proactive. It's being hungry, reckless, stubborn. It's who their father was, it's who they are. A legacy of big swings, and even bigger misses, that change that course of history. They'll win or they'll die, and it's not out of love and duty. It's out of anger and self obsession. They care about others, but they don't put in the work to respect others with their actions.

They're not alone in this mistake. Letters is reckless and stubborn for moral reasons (harming laudna repeatedly to prove a point about the changebringer), but Ashton is unique in that they're reckless and stubborn for egoic reasons (get revenge on the bad guys for making them suffer all their life, get famous in the process, and fuck everybody else's feelings).

Taliesin made the right character call. It blindsided everyone because they saw Taliesin first, then the shadow of Caduceus' wisdom, then Percy's sense of justice, and finally just a flicker of Ashton's hypocrisy and bitterness. Matt was upset because he made the consequences extremely clear. But Ashton didn't care about consequences, they wanted revenge and glory, in that order, and if they died first then they wouldn't have to say goodbye to the hells or face the emotional consequences of their decisions.

When tal said "you gave me a big red button," he didn't mean "heehoo spicy plot device go boom lmao." He meant "this was my opportunity to show y'all just how unstable and fucked up the barbarian really is. The possibilities are endless, and that's not a good or fun thing. We're literally all powder kegs and don't you dare forget it."

Delilah encouraged Fearne and Imogen to go dark, and now they're seriously considering it. Orym spent every single dime he had in Whitestone, at Gilmore's and the Slayer's Cake, as a love letter and an apology to VM for what he's about to do. He gave Fearne the spyglass he stole off the ghost ship, because in his words, "now you can keep an eye on me." Implying she'll lose him soon. (he believes he's going to die on the moon, and very probably fail to save Exandria from Predathos, because the group is so disjointed.)

Chet is rolling death checks at disadvantage, hitting on Percy's sister, muttering jokes about how there won't be wood on the moon so he doesn't want to go, and basically hanging back from connecting with anybody around him. He doesn't give a fuck.

Matt's teeing them up with so, so many existential decisions, and they're all leaning in the wrong direction. Laudna is leaning into Delilah. Fearne is leaning into Ashton's hubris and chewing on the possibilities of Dark!Fearne. Imogen is flirting with the idea that her mother's power might not be so morally reprehensible after all. Orym and Chet are marching toward death. Letters continues to play the one song they know, myopically fixated on the gods who have done nothing but ask them for things and show them darkness. And Ashton is finally, textually, metaphorically and literally, melting down in the name of Glory. You win or you die, and it doesn't matter which anymore. Not to any of them.

It stings like a motherfucker, but it's narratively consistent.

#long post #cr spoilers #critical role spoilers #cr3 #this isn't the most concise or eloquent explanation #but i feel less betrayed now that I've chewed on some motivations and flipped some assumptions around

[wordstrings]

Understanding Harmony

Critical Role: Bell’s Hells. Ashton and Imogen take a watch after the events of episodes 33–38. Written for @feather-aesthetic for the Squealing Santa 2k22 fic exchange. Prompt: playful/bonding situations. Words: 1,500

—

“I just…” Imogen’s voice hitches with a tiny, incredulous laugh that lilts and wilts into something almost sad. “Just can’t believe she’s back.”

Ashton stares into the fire for another moment before dropping their eyes to the twig they’ve been fiddling with between their knees. 

“Crazy, huh?” they say, for lack of anything more intelligent to add. 

Imogen twists her fingers into a loose fold of her skirt. The fabric tightens across her hands, a smart pair to the tension still visibly lingering in her body. 

“It’s not supposed to happen. Bringin’ someone back from the dead. Though, I guess, for Laudna… maybe it’s not so strange. I don’t know.”

“No, it’s weird,” Ashton assures her. The nubby end of one toothpick-thin branch snaps under their thumb. They roll the broken bit between their fingers. The tiny splintered end is sharp. 

“I never… never would’ve thought I’d see somethin’ like that. That I’d be part of that. Y’know? Heck, I just thought I’d be spending the rest of my life staring at fields and feeling alone. It’s just… a lot,” she finishes quietly. 

“Being alone isn’t so bad.” Saying it is almost habit. It’s true enough. 

The firelight catches in the glance Imogen darts their way. “Feeling alone, though. It’s different when you don’t really have a choice.” 

Ashton shrugs. “Not much different, in my experience.”

There’s a gentle scoff in Imogen’s voice when she says, “Then why’re you stickin’ around with us, huh?”

“Because Letters needs people.” It’s just as quick to surface, just as habitual. 

“But you don’t.”

Ashton knows a jab, even in the dark. The retort is already in their throat, clambering on the back of their tongue. But they swallow it, because Imogen isn’t coming after them, not really. They don’t have a ready-made alternative response, though, so they focus on the splintered nub, trying to crush it between their fingertips. It’s too small and just digs in, a tiny hard granule of dead wood.

A soft glow leans toward their mind but doesn’t quite enter. Ashton braces internally anyway.

“They’re pretty important to you,” Imogen says aloud, instead.

Having someone important is dangerous. That’s how stupid decisions get made. Case in point: letting a complete stranger put them all under so they can go fight the spirit of a necromancer in order to yank a not-quite-living, not-quite-not woman out of a tree-shaped manifestation of her trauma, or some shit. 

But then Ashton is caught completely off-kilter when Imogen continues: “What the fuck is up with that?”

Ah, fuck them, but it works. They crack a laugh.

Imogen laughs quietly along, too. It’s something shared, and it evaporates the murk that’s been crowding Ashton’s throat. 

“Somebody’s gotta look out for ‘em,” they say with half a smile. “Otherwise Letters would end up trusting some pack of fools hell-bent on getting dead for each other out of some poorly-advised sense of integrity.”

“Out of all of us, I think FCG is the only one with integrity, sometimes.” Imogen’s grin has seemed to soften her, as well. “They take good care of us. So do you, y’know. You both make a good team.”

Ashton does their best to skirt the compliment, but there’s still some warmth that surges up unattributable to the campfire. Riposte. “Can’t talk about a ‘team’ without looking at you two.” They tip their chin toward the sleeping form that is Laudna, with an empty gap at her side for only as long as Imogen’s on watch. “Closest I’ve ever seen two folks who aren’t in each other’s pants.”

Imogen huffs softly. She rubs her forearm with one distracted hand. “Lotta people don’t get it. That’s fine, I guess. But she just… she saw me when nobody else really did. She knew what it was like. Keeping away from people, feeling like connections were impossible. Laudna was the first new person I got physically close enough to touch in… god, in years. That kinda messes you up after a while, doesn’t it?”

It’s said rhetorically, but her tone clearly expects agreement, and Ashton isn’t inclined to agree. Being messed up: sure. One hundred percent, all day every day. Being messed up because nobody’s holding your hand, or lying close while you sleep, or filling some sort of sappy hug quota: nah. 

They settle for responding with a noncommittal grunt. 

“It was the simplest thing,” Imogen continues, smiling wistfully down at her hands. “Just touching my elbow to draw my attention to a flower. Handing me an acorn cap or a dead worm or whatever she was decorating her next little doll with. Her hands were always a bit cold but it was still soothing when she’d hum to me, like this.”

Imogen side-leans in just a bit, and it’s a testament to how far Ashton has relaxed with this group – for good or for ill – that they don’t duck away from her approaching hand. Her fingers alight on the back of their neck, gentle as a songbird, as she begins to hum a folksy, unhurried tune.

The touch on their nape drifts back and forth with the cadence of the song. Ashton doesn’t recognize the melody, but it’s easy to imagine it tells a story of land remembered or beauty witnessed. Imogen’s fingertips are… fine. Ashton wouldn’t call them soothing. Wouldn’t really call them anything. Their skin doesn’t register much of anything duller than a slap, so the fire-heated warmth and pressure of her hand is barely notable. But, they suppose, it could be nice – for a person whose body is not constantly, quietly ringing with the ache of pain. It’s yet one more luxury that Ashton is not permitted to experience. It would feel unfair, if they weren’t just used to it.

Imogen’s humming trots up and down in scale as she reaches some chorus line. Her fingers shift, tapping nails in staccato on the back of Ashton’s neck with the time.

Ashton’s shoulders pull slightly inward. Okay, they can feel that a bit more than the softness of fingertips. Kind of itchy.

Doesn’t seem like Imogen is paying any close mind, though. She’s gazing into the campfire again, her head canted gently in unseeing reminiscence. The chorus ends and her fingers fall back into drifting touches with the next wordless verse.

This is so foreign. 

Not hanging out with a group, or even having a low conversation in the night; it’s this kind of interaction, this connection, with someone who’s sharing something beyond job-related banter or a clipped story. Apparently Ashton is going to be treated to a full song with tactile accompaniment for no reason except Imogen wanting to give it.

The second verse ends. The chorus picks up again.

Shit, that really does itch when she does that with her fingernails. But, like, a shivery itchiness. It makes Ashton’s belly clench up a little. Especially when the nail tips drag short little lines in a wave pattern up and down their nape. An involuntary shudder trembles through Ashton’s neck and shoulders, but what’s so remarkable is that they don’t want it to stop. 

Imogen must notice, because her humming bobs with a light chuckle. But she doesn’t stop the song. She carries into a third verse, this time keeping her nails gliding. 

Ashton would feel teased, except for that glow leaning against their mind again. It still doesn’t push in. Rather, it rests against the doorframe, watching kindly from just outside; a sentinel, careful and attentive. 

This is so, so foreign.

But fuck it feels… good. And that’s a revelation as much as everything else about this interplay. Ashton’s not thinking about the ever-present, spine-deep ache in their body. Not thinking about when the enjoyment might be soured. Just listening to a friend’s gentle music while fingernails dust sparks of static across their skin.

The hummed song dances off its by-now predictable path into a melodic bridge. Imogen’s nails skitter up and down with the notes, out in wider arcs and spirals, tapping and scraping along Ashton’s scarred, calloused skin, and it’s just– fucking hell, it tickles. 

Ashton can’t help the way they hunch even further at that realization. They’re fracturing into laughter before they have any hope of getting a grip on themself.

Imogen’s mental glow warms. It’s okay. It’s okay to sit here and snicker, to crane up one shoulder and then the other in conflicted attempts at protection, to grin and squint and squeeze their fists between their knees and just feel something good for once.

It’s okay.

The tune winds its way back to the notes Ashton now knows by heart, turning reflective and peaceful. Imogen’s humming slows, as do her fingers. She caresses long, gentle lines with the edges of her nails. Ashton’s eyes fall closed, though they still chuckle and shiver through their sighs. 

Maybe this is soothing, after all.

#squealing santa 2k22 #tickle fic #stringswork #Critical Role #Bell's Hells #Ashton Greymoore #Imogen Temult #queerplatonic imodna rights! #ticklish!ashton #gen #Understanding Harmony #feather.aesthetic #aaaaa coming in right under the wire of my extension deadline!! it's late but it's here! #hooo gettin' back in that writing saddle i feel like i need chaps #also inaugural cr c3 fic woooooo