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twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat · 4 months

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ari i’m curious do u have kenny hcs

RIKO U HAVE NO IDEA THE MONSTER UVE UNLEASHED.....

i do have some kenny hcs <333 take a seat here's a snack we’re gonna be here for a while 🧁🧃 (THANK YOU FOR INDULGING ME <3 this man genuinely makes me feel ill im sooo delusional abt him)

okok so first of all; general hcs !!

he likes art!! loves art!! this one is canon to me i just think he is so interested in any and all of humanity’s creative outlets and ofc art is the most prominent one. he loves all different forms of art — from sculptures to paintings to writing to video games (HEAVY on the latter btw i think he's so entranced by new technology) and so on.

and on that note!! i think he paints and writes himself :3 hes been alive for so long, learned so many languages, there's no way he didn't have time to pick up a paint brush. i think he paints to release stress!! and his styles vary but there's something mildly macabre abt all of his pieces. tends to gravitate towards expressionism above all else, especially the abstract kind.

i also feel like he sincerely enjoys ”bad” art like low budget movies and modern romance fiction and goofy video games…… he just thinks they're fun. def gets a good laugh out of them (this man canonically had a whole comedy phase he just wants to have fun!!)

and and and!! this is self indulgent as hell but i also think he cooks. there's just so much to learn when it comes to different cultures and their cuisine and i think they all interest him. but i hesitate to say that he's a good cook bc i feel like he’d make really weird fucked up food combinations just for the hell of it…. he's a freak. 100% the type to mix orange juice w black coffee just to see how it tastes.

i also hc that he has a soft spot for children, seeing as he literally carried and birthed one of his own LMAO... i just think he admires the innocence of childhood !! that childish and simple hope that adults tend to lose. he's very good w them too!! gentle and patient. and in geto’s body he has the softest nicest voice so i feel like kids gravitate towards him (i'm just thinking abt that One scene where he blows bubbles at a playground and all the kids chase them… they love him i just know he's a regular at that park)

OH AND……. idk if i’d call this a hc exactly but i just wanna see kenny in more feminine clothing. he literally has All the genders i don't think for a second that he cares abt gender norms. one moment he's in that tacky middle aged divorced father core hawaiian tshirt (he's so Me), the next he's wearing a purple floral dress or a puffy turtleneck <33 i just think he could pull anything off.

NOW FOR THE GOOD STUFF……. relationship hcs <33333 hes a whole red flag but hes also my silly pookie bear just trust me on this

FIRST OF ALL he's huge on quality time. if he's in a relationship w u then that means he sincerely enjoys ur company and therefore has a tendency to just bring u with him wherever he goes. otherwise he gets bored and starts whining abt it (silly silly man) hes a lonely guy ok </3 i feel like he gets very sudden urges to explore new places / do new things and he’ll make sure you’re right there w him !! you’ll wake up in his arms only to find you're in a snowy forest or some shit and he just WILL not tell u where he's taken u bc its ”a surprise ^_^” LMAOO

he also takes on a teaching role in the relationship and i think that's where hes happiest !! gets a kick out of it but it's also kind of special to him. especially if you haven't seen much of the world, or if you're just a naturally curious person — preferably both. he just enjoys teaching you new things, leading you towards new sights, drinking in your expressions and reactions. it's precious to him. something to cherish.

ON THAT NOTE i think he has this unquenchable curiosity that gets temporarily sated when he tries to like . Dissect you. see inside your mind. it's like hes solving a puzzle that never runs out of pieces. hear me out riko but i see him as somewhat similar to makima, he's detached and has trouble connecting w people and handles you almost like a math equation….. but since he unlike makima is a human being, i think he still has the capacity to grow to care for you and treat you like an equal (or something close to an equal). he genuinely does love you, but he's rusty. kenjaku just wants to know all there is to know about you — every single thing. he’d dig into your brain if he could, but he’ll settle on just brewing you tea, listening to you speak about your fears, hoping it’ll give him the same insight.

he's a little possessive . kind of a Lot. idk i just think he feels a pang of jealousy when he sees u laugh and have fun w someone else (he's like a preschooler getting pouty bc his bestie is playing w someone else LOL) and that makes him Uncomfortable so he just waltzes in and steals u away w a smooth smile and a hand on ur waist. pretends like it doesn't bother him in the slightest but if u tease him too much he drops the smile and gives u a Look (it's scary as hell so u immediately shut up LMAOO) and god forbid someone else is like… teaching u something… a subject they're knowledgeable abt while u sit there listening happily to their rambling……..... ohhh he gets so jealous it's funny. researches that particular subject in frightening detail JUST so he can correct your little friend and teach u abt it himself <33 weirdo. freak.

also (this is extremely important to understanding kenny's character) he's both mother coded and father coded but in the worst possible ways.

he's mother coded in the sense that he's a smidge controlling, good at coaxing you into doing things outside your comfort zone, an expert at making you feel guilty by acting especially sweet and gentle, has the ability to make you cry w one disappointed look etc etc

and he's father coded in the sense that he's easily offended but pretends not to be, wants to see you succeed so bad that it's almost more for him than you, forces you to have really deep onesided philosophical talks at 2am when you just want to sleep, sucks at voicing his love for you out loud so he just buys a bag of your favorite fruit, cuts them into slices and calls it a day. etc etc. he's awful actually. i need him

but !!! as for more soft hcs i think he's honestly an affectionate guy deep down… like deep deep down but it's there. he just likes having u close. preferably touching him. not constantly bc that’ll annoy him but he wants you to stay near so he can pull u into his lap whenever. loves reading to u while u rest ur head on his thigh, playing w ur hair and lulling u softly to sleep <3333 (it's the geto kinnie in him) AND idk why this came into my mind but i think he likes nose kisses. just bc ur face scrunches up and he thinks it's cute. he can be sweet !! probably.

OHHH AND he loves playing board games w u <33 everything from chess to monopoly. he thinks it's fun + a good bonding activity but it's only fun in the beginning. he's condescending if u lose and petty if u win but he’ll still ask u to stay up w him all night just so u can finish the game (he's insufferable actually) if u decline he’ll huff and play by himself while shooting u petty glares until u feel bad and join him. then he's back to being all suave and calm and mature ohhhh i hate him

he wants to be the mature stoic indulgent person in the relationship sooooo fucking bad but he’s plagued by silly impulses day and night. he’s just good at hiding it. but deep down he is and always will be a silly nerd <33

and finally; i think that in a no curses au he's significantly less of a freak but still weird and obsessive and a lil mean. bullies u just a tinyyy bit and acts condescendingly sweet but he cares for u a whole bunch. probably struggles w showing it in a way that isn't too overbearing or mildly alarming… maybe through writing. poems and paintings of u… sculptures…. just wants to portray the beauty he sees in u (can u tell artist!kenny makes me go a little crazy)

overall hes a weirdo hes a freak (def wants u to kiss his brain just to see how it feels) and he may or may not be a bundle of red flags but i love him dearly <333 hes a silly goose. i want to study him in a lab

#ive been thinking abt this for a while riko ty for indulging me <333 PLSSS IF U HAVE ANY AKI HCS GIVE THEM TO ME 🙏🙏🙏#these hcs make it glaringly obvious how down bad i am for him i think but just pretend that i like him in a normal way ok #kenny is just so sillyyyy he was crafted specifically to fix my parental issues (he would make them worse)#kenjaku x reader #<- tagging this in case some starving kenny stan stumbles upon it. enjoy ur food beloved <33 #i have a sudden urge to write an artist!kenny x reader fic hmmm wonder what thats all abt (riko u just made the brainrot worse ily <333)#ask tag ✩

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gold-rhine · 9 months

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If it's not too much trouble, could you expand on Diluc's "already incoherent characterization" you mentioned in one of your recent posts? I'm just curious cause I also feel that there's something off about him writing-wise but I can't put my finger on it.

sigh. so, at the start of the game hoyo wrote diluc as super aggressive and negative towards kaeya specifically and knights in general, and all of their interactions are very hostile. they are having bitch fights every time they are in the same room.

like, fandom likes to pretend that diluc has guilt, bc of like some anonymous message on a public board that sounds like it's diluc feeling bad, which hoyo back-wrote. but they can't gaslight me, i just recently replayed start of the game content on my new account. like first time diluc appears is in kaeya's domain after traveler and kaeya cleared it, and diluc bitches at kaeya for no fucking reason and kaeya is v passive aggressive back at him. they have bitch fight in venti's quest. diluc's entire quest is about him trying to keep kaeya from discovering he's darknight hero and he specifically makes it known that kaeya is unwelcome every time he shows up in the tavern. and he sounds negative when bringing up kaeya for any reason.

and then hoyo started to back-pedal. idk what happened, maybe the direction of the plot shifted. maybe the writer who was writing them in this conflict vein quit. maybe at the start they only had vague idea of like brothers at war with each other, and once they started to flesh it out and add nuance, they've realized that like, burning your baby brothers' eye out might be understandable in the moment of trauma and shock, but then acting like you're on high horse and treating him like garbage for YEARS after is a bit of a psycho behavior.

quick aside bc i know there are ppl who think that, um, kaeya "deserved" it and like. he was what, not older than 10 when he was left at the winery. and he was about 17 when he confessed. he was a traumatized kid who kept a secret bc his bio father told him that the fate of his entire country depends on it. get a grip. but as i said, with the same logic, diluc was also in shock and trauma, and i do not fault him the fight itself. what doesn't track is how diluc acts years LATER, when he had time to think.

so they started to drastically soften diluc AND back-writing retcons. Hidden Strife letters are all about it. They were like oh, brothers were always in contact! Diluc is not a maniac, he was polite to the knights and he told kaeya to take care :) :) :) this creates new set of problems. not only it gives diluc personality split where he was incredibly aggressive to kaeya in person, but apparently normal in the letters. But also, we have letters from Kaeya that make it obvious he knew immediately that diluc is a darknight hero and they both were chill about it. But like! diluc's entire story quest is about him trying to keep kaeya from learning that! like, come on! why then diluc did all these stupid scooby doo shenanigans with slimes and shit???

now i think they are trying to shift responsibility for reconciliation from diluc to kaeya, which is the only issue that affects kaeya's own characterization. bc they are very hard going into "all servants at winery ADORE kaeya and treat him like family and welcome him!!" and fandom like, extends it to diluc now, like diluc is welcoming kaeya too and kaeya is a silly goose who has his hang ups and refuses to visit. as if getting your eye burned off, trying to reach out first and getting "ugh, its you" treatment when you show up at your brother's tavern is just like. a lil awkward situation that kaeya himself should get over without any effort on diluc's side and he should just ~realize~ that he's still part of the family lol. and ppl justify it like "well we don't know how diluc actually feels, he probably feels guilt (anon message) and wants to reconcile". which like. so we don't know, but kaeya is supposed to figure out and reach out AGAIN, when diluc at any time could've just told him that he's welcomed.

and now in kaeya's hangout we learn more about their childhoods which tbh hurts diluc even more. like how are we gonna be pretending that diluc cares about kaeya when he returned to mond and found his baby brother, who was apparently the sweetest gentlest child in the world, his loyal shadow for entire childhood, couldn't lie, was taking punishments for diluc, and see him now becoming a high functioning alcoholic with brazenly unhealthy persona of liar and manipulator, and like NOT get worried and try to reach out. which i don't think it was hoyo's intention, they just wanted to add the tragic sweetie uwu to kaeya's characterization, but they did not think how it reflect on diluc in global context

so now diluc's characterization flip flopped in several directions, and he doesn't really has an arc or plotline going. he's kinda just there now, more of symbol than character, and hoyo just writes whatever they want for him without any regard for any previous lore

#rhine talks #diluc

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bazooka-overkill · 2 months

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MR SANDMAN BRAINROT EUEUUUGGHHH

okay yay brainrot won the poll. also i might psot dragon chan headcanons requested by wallet becuz yaaaaaayyy

uhhh also i dont really gaf about timelines. so if something doesnt line up time wise. ignore it. shh

ermmm cw for child fighting!! mr sandman didnt have the best middle school experience

BAZOOKA'S THOUGHTS:

i need this man so badly PLS MR. SANDMAN ONE CHAAAAANCEEEE

who typed that omg…

GENERAL SANDMAN INFO (canon + headcanon)

full name: isaiah joseph banks

birthday: april 12th

age: 31

height: 6’5” (197 cm)

weight: 284 lbs (129 kg)

origin: philadelphia, PA, USA

gender: cis male

sexuality: bisexual (might be in denial lmao. men say theyre fighting demons and the demons r bisexuality LMFAO)

family:

victoria banks, mother, alive

george banks, father, alive

no siblings

HEAD CANON TIME:

- insomniac. goes between sleeping for 11 hrs during the day and not sleeping at ALL, also explains the eyebags in his TD

- incredibly horrible sleep schedule. stems from his childhood

- also stems from his childhood but not exactly the best at socializing w other people

- somehow is friends w glass joe. don't ask me how it works they just ARE (and they may be a little. fruity.)

- has one of those light up squishy things that u hit to change the color. yeah he either fucking SLAMS that thing or gently pats it when he wants to change it. it’s a bunny for anyone curious

- goes thru the 5 min nap to the 5 hour nap pipeline. “oh im just gonna take a small nap,” then wakes up w the blankets all over the fucking room, the god damn windows r open, he’s somehow upside down, etc etc

- him and the ref have beef after his TD victory animation

- was one of those kids that would be on his knees near some mulch playing w the roly polies on the playground. he'd have like 20 in his palms in 5 minutes

- if u catch him right when he wakes up (like. RIGHT right when he wakes up) he accidentally calls people “baby.” it’s a habit he picked up from his mom and he’s pushed it back into his mind, but it slips when he isn’t exactly thinking (totally not projecting my own habits onto him guys)

- adding to the above that the person who originally found this out was glass joe. take that as you will

- he sends some of his boxing money to his parents to support them (he’s a mamas boy LEAVE ME ALONEEEEE)

- doesn’t exactly search for a relationship, believes that when he decides he’s ready for one the right person will find him

- gets dragged into world circuit outings by either super macho man or aran ryan. on the rare occasion it’ll be soda. one time they all went bowling and sandman watched aran ryan throw a bowling ball like a fucking baseball and it broke the ceiling

- knows how to make a MEAN philly cheese steak. will be mentally freak out (positively) if someone mentions they’ve never had one before. if he wasn’t so stoic he would be jumping up and down and going “YAAAAAYYYYY🎉🎉🎉” becuz he finally gets an excuse to make one for someone

- has 100% almost broken the world circuit ring's ropes (see his intermission animation in contender)

- his locker in the locker rooms is either completely spotless or dented to hell and back. bonus points if theres like. a fake succulent in there or some shit

- luvs animals. takes pics of cool animals he sees anywhere

origin backstory thing under cur bc its long

origin:

isaiah joseph banks, known as his boxing alias mr. sandman, was born on april 12th to victoria banks and george banks in the Doylestown Hospital. born to loving parents, isaiah grew up as an only child.

isaiah learned to keep to himself and care for himself very early on, as both of his parents were usually at work. they worked hard to provide for isaiah and themselves, but always put their son first. they

the time they spent at work would be made up at home, albeit this time could never be fully made up for a young isaiah. he had spent more time with babysitters and nannies than his own parents. of course, isaiah knew his parents loved him, but all the bonds that were supposed to be formed hadn’t; the time frame had passed.

the time they did spend together was… memorable, really. not in a bad way, but every moment— every waking minute— made isaiah into the man he is today.

every night, when his mother was home early enough, she would sing him a soft lullaby. when she wasn’t, his mother had recorded this lullaby onto a tape for him to listen to. this lullaby was the song that made mr. sandman: Mr. Sandman by The Chordettes. it wasn’t a typical children’s lullaby by any means, but by god he loves that song— present tense intended.

then, a problem arose: school. starting middle school is one thing, but isaiah found out how cruel children could be.

isaiah was big, to put it lightly. five foot six at age 12 was enough ground for bullying, and being dropped off by a few different babysitters/nannies in the morning only added to the ammunition.

with how big he was, the bullying never went farther than verbal harassment. soft giggling every time he talked in class, glances from across the classroom, the bullying was subtle except for the occasional direct blow to isaiah.

his boxing interest began when he was thirteen, where his parents enrolled him in a self defense class that revolved around boxing and the sort. they had found out about the bullying from the babysitters, as isaiah had been reporting what they had been saying to him. there, young isaiah learned the basics of boxing: dodging, punching, and jabs had been added to his arsenal.

isaiah had always relished in the safety of knowing that he’d never get attacked at school, but unfortunately this was false.

it was brutal really; the poor boy had been caught in the bathroom and was attacked from behind, slammed his face into the sink, and assaulted from there. it took around two minutes for teachers to hear the commotion, but they were two minutes too late.

there, isaiah was brought to the hospital. no one truly knows the full extent of his injuries, minus his parents. if you look closely at mr. sandman, his top teeth are a little crooked.

nothing exactly eventful happened other than he moved schools, and everything was smooth from there.

his boxing career began to take off when he was 17, when he met an old babysitter of his— one who had taken care of him up until he was 13. he had become a boxing coach and offered to take isaiah up as a student.

if you ever ask mr. sandman in an interview about his boxing idol, he’d most likely say his coach. that man taught him nearly everything he knows, and even taught him the dreamland express move that mr. sandman is most known for, albeit modified.

mr. sandman picked up his alias when his coach told him about the WVBA and their boxers. it was almost inevitable he’d choose mr. sandman in honor of his mother.

he had his first fight at age 18, where it went swimmingly well. records of this fight have been lost to time, but, according to word of mouth, mr. sandman nearly killed the poor man.

i gotta be honest w u all idk how to continue this. umm mr sandman meets a wvba recruiter and then uh yah.😁😁😁

#punch out #punch out wii #mr sandman #mr. sandman #IM MR SANDMANS BIGGEST FAN IVE SAID IT BEFORE BUT IT STANDS #AAAAAARRAGHHH #half of this is me just projecting onto him #also can we talk abt his hairstyle in TD like. who is ur barber #bazooka-overkill #bazooka overkill #also maybe hourglass if u squint

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meowzfordayz · 2 years

Text

to be loved by — izuku

Author’s Note: Boyfriend!Izuku bc he makes my heart go 💥💥💥 aka my brainrot for him’s overflowing. 😂☺️ *insert throbbing heart here* 😭💓 DON’T MIND ME IGNORING MY ♾ WIPS!

to be loved by — izuku

Midoriya Izuku x Reader

Word Count: ~2,000

CW: explicit language, mild sexual content

~faqs~

Boyfriend!Izuku who makes a mental note of how you fold your clothes, and where you put them away, so he can do the laundry properly

“Why is the hamper empty, and where are my clothes?” you raise an eyebrow, slightly concerned, albeit mostly curious. “Check your drawers!” he beams expectantly, not even blinking, hands sweaty, “And the closet!”

This man gets an 11/10 on laundry duty 😌

Boyfriend!Izuku who delicately undresses you to whatever degree you prefer if/when you fall asleep fully clothed

Boyfriend!Izuku who (if you ever work a food service job) comes in toward the end of your shift to drive/walk you home, and immediately locates the nearest broom so he can help

Does he use One For All to make it go faster? Does he ?? He does ????? Duh

“I’d feel awful just sitting and staring!” eyes narrowing, “And don’t you dare try to split your tips with me!”

Boyfriend!Izuku who encourages you to get dressed up, no matter the occasion, bc turns out he really does listen whenever you lament over all the nicer clothes you own, but never get the chance to wear

Boyfriend!Izuku who’s the reason you’re usually late to aforementioned occasions: did you truly believe you could get dressed up w/o him needing wanting to take a bajillion photos of you ?????

Boyfriend!Izuku who makes an effort to swing by your favorite bakery ~once a week to surprise you w/ a slice of pie for dessert-before-dinner

He’s never offended if you’re not in the mood for it right then and there, but, “No worries baby! It’s the thought that counts.”

He may or may not eat a lot of pie, as a result

He also may or may not get a lot of pie for free #adorable broccoli perks #you mean to tell me you wouldn’t give him free pie if you got to ring him up ??

Dw tho! He tips generously to compensate 😅

Boyfriend!Izuku who makes sure your pencils—graphite and colored—are always sharpened (if you use mechanical pencils and/or pens, then you somehow never run out of refills/ink)

You’ve yet to catch him in the act, btw

Boyfriend!Izuku who babies you a lot tad when you’re sick

I adamantly disagree w/ the hc of him being a neglectful partner. 💔 Yes he has ambition, discipline, and goals and tunnel vision regarding those goals, and yes he gradually learns how to balance being a Hero and a lover. 💞 Is he perfect? Ofc not! Is he fucking clueless alrightalright he’s a lil clueless lol about how to cherish those closest to him? N O P E !!!!!

✨end tangent✨

Boyfriend!Izuku who: cooks soup from scratch, concocts freshly chopped ginger + freshly squeezed lemon + freshly harvested honey (jk lmao the honey’s from a bottle) tea, tells his primary sidekick he’s unavailable to work for the day For personal reasons, please only contact me IF AND ONLY IF there is an emergency DEKU? SIR? Oops heh nothing major! My partner’s feeling unwell Sir… WHICH IS A VERY SERIOUS MATTER, and does basically whatever the fuck you feel like doing

Binge your newest obsession until his vision blurs? ✅

Play Monopoly until he feels like crying? ✅

Massage your feet until his fingers cramp? ✅

Watch you bathe until he swears you’ve turned into a prune? ✅

Read aloud to you until every sip of water in the world wouldn’t be enough to save his voice? ✅

Boyfriend!Izuku who’s lowkey relieved that you typically just request cuddles, and then pass tf out halfway through the movie that he got to pick

“I don’t care, Izu. S’more for you than me,” you mumble, cheek warm as you nuzzle into the dip between his shoulder and chest. “You know I’m never bored simply snuggling with you, right?” he murmurs softly, lips tender as they graze your hair, bicep flexed protectively, happily, around your waist, palm snug on your hipbone. “Mmm, but just in case,” you protest sleepily, thumb tucked securely into the hem of his shirt, “Your tummy’s cozy.” Ears pink, abs flexing subconsciously teehee, he kisses your hair again—firmly this time—palm shifting briefly to your stomach, “Yours is too,” patting lightly, “The coziest.”

Boyfriend!Izuku who chops various veggies to pair with hummus and other dips, bc if it gets you to mindlessly munch aka remember to eat, then it’s worth the extra effort on his end

Boyfriend!Izuku who has to put your # on Do Not Disturb while he’s out w/ his mom and/or friends, bc he’ll remain glued to his phone otherwise

You do your best to avoid texting him if you know he’s busy, but sometimes he forgets to tell you his plans

Boyfriend!Izuku who’s significantly less reckless nowadays, bc I promise to come home to you Forever? For as long as you’ll have me

Hold up

I made myself emotional typing that last sentence 😭

Boyfriend!Izuku who appreciates how you rarely berate him if and when he does acquire injuries on the job

You’re not mad? Why would I be mad? I got hurt I stubbed my toe yesterday Baby… a stubbed toe isn’t the same as a broken arm and a lacerated thigh Are you mad at me for stubbing my toe? No? And I’m not mad at you for being thrown into a building They’re still not nearly the same?! Shh Izu, no need to think so hard *head pats*

Boyfriend!Izuku who turns off the light bc he’s already bundled you up for the night

Don’t bother attempting to beat him to it in the warmer months — he’ll just use One For All

Boyfriend!Izuku who’s written sooooo many notebooks worth of info about you (in the least creepy way possible)

He’s got tutorials for maneuvering your plethora of moods (Note to self! Do NOT pull out tutorial for JUST WOKE UP as soon as they wake up), doodles of you ranging from Not Too Shabby to You Should Be Insulted That It’s Supposed To Be A Doodle Of You, lists upon lists upon lists of your Likes and Dislikes, and exactly 1 pg (the last pg) that’s yours to write in

He never reads what you’ve written until he actually reaches that last pg, and he always cries when he inevitably gets there (and reads it)

Has he almost ruined a couple notebooks w/ his waterworks?

[✅] Yes [ ] No

Boyfriend!Izuku who has your cafe order memorized (if you like to switch it up, then you order, but he pays for it)

In return, you regularly prepare katsudon for his work lunches

Boyfriend!Izuku who casually holds your hand under the pretense of being cute, and then refuses to give it back bc he misses you

“Izu? I, uh, am trying to work?” you pull at his steady grip, unimpressed glint in your stare. “And I’m holding your hand?” he smiles widely, stubborn divot creasing his chin as he squeezes fondly, “You have a very nice hand!” Snorting quietly, you nod toward your desk, tone stern, “How about you hold my hand in… an hour or so?” Mouth twitching in defeat, he relinquishes your hand… and then promptly sits on the floor beside you, scarred biceps hugging just below your knee as he pouts upward at you, “I’m not moving.”

Boyfriend!Izuku who, if you’re not a green thumb, waters your plants: “Izu! My plant! This might be a new record!” you squeal, “Can you believe I bought it half a year ago?” Whooping with delight, he pecks your earlobe, dutifully admiring your plant’s waxy, healthy leaves, “I’m so proud of me you baby!”

Boyfriend!Izuku who, if you are a green thumb, buys you plants

He has a notebook, whether you are or aren’t a green thumb, for describing and naming your plants—like the Plants vs Zombies Almanac—from their D.O.P. (date of purchase) to their ups and downs, and their D.O.D. (date of death)

If you aren’t a green thumb, then he has an entirely separate notebook dedicated to their obituaries

Boyfriend!Izuku who cuts the tops off strawberries for you (I hced this for Tokito Muichiro in bff, but it’s so sweet that I had to hc it for Izuku too 🥺)

Boyfriend!Izuku who’s grateful that you ask for his opinion(s), but knows deep down that if you show even the barest inkling of a preference, then he’s highly likely to go w/ it

Boyfriend!Izuku who lets you choose your seat on the plane (you generally end up snoozing w/ your head on his shoulder anyway, so it’s a win <window>, win <middle>, win <aisle> situation)

Boyfriend!Izuku who accidentally-on-purpose becomes a hoarder bc he keeps everything you gift him

It was quite an emotional evening for him when you finally went through his ~collection together and tossed/recycled some of it

Boyfriend!Izuku who sends you funny memes first—before sending them to anyone else—bc it’s okay if he gets distracted and forgets to send them to Iida, Uraraka, or Bakugo, but gosh forbid he forget to send them to you 😤

Boyfriend!Izuku who informs you when he’s going to take a shit, bc he doesn’t want you to worry about him disappearing for so long

Boyfriend!Izuku who swaps meals w/ you in an instant if you side eye/drool over his choice more than your own

He genuinely enjoys most foods, so don’t feel too badly about his sacrifice!

Boyfriend!Izuku who highkey likes being teased about how whipped he is for you, bc he’s oftentimes anxious that his devotion to you isn’t as obvious as he thinks it should be (bc yanno, #tunnel vision regarding his Hero goals), so the fact that friends and randos notice how head over heels he is for you ?????

That’s a win in his (note)book(s)! 🏆

Boyfriend!Izuku who, through trial and error and COMMUNICATION, figures out his boundaries

Aka

Sure he’s whipped 😍, but you never (intentionally) walk over him either 👍

Boyfriend!Izuku who brings along an additional hoodie anytime you go out, bc he LOVES the glint in your eyes when you bury your nose in its collar (near the drawstring holes is where his scent’s the strongest)

“Izu? I brought a jacket.” “But baby, mine’s better.”

Idk about you, but I wouldn’t argue w/ him *puts on his hoodie* *contented noises* 🥰

Boyfriend!Izuku who wears anything you buy him

Do you abuse your power? 👀 Ik I would… at least a lil 😇

Boyfriend!Izuku who belts karaoke w/ you bc if you’re giggling and having a good time, then he’s laughing and having a great time

Boyfriend!Izuku who dances in the kitchen w/ you while waiting for water to boil, popcorn to pop, and dinner to burn onions to caramelize

“Oops?” he grimaces, lid lifted off the smoking pot #pun intended, “I guess we get another dance session!”

If you don’t want to burn the second dinner, then you’d best set a timer

Boyfriend!Izuku who isn’t whipped; he’s in love

Boyfriend!Izuku who doesn’t give a damn what, who, where, when, why, or how it’s labeled

If it means he gets to wax poetry about your sneezes outshining the stars; your kindness aching his heart; your touch redefining secret language

If it means he gets to call you at 1am, rasp in his soul as he whispers You complete me heart in his throat as you respond Midoriya Izuku, you’ve always been whole soothing fullness in his belly as he revises his initial statement Thank you gentle tingling across his scars as you promise You’re always welcome

He knows this to be true

#izuku midoriya #midoriya izuku #izuku x reader #midoriya x reader #headcanons #boko no hero academia #my hero academia

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blackberry-gingham · 1 year

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Give me your favourite blorbos and favourite headcanon for them

Is this a Christmas present for me anon? Bc if it is, I love it and thank you 😚💖😭😭

I have a lot of characters I like, but as far as absolute faves rn, here's Gambit and Nightcrawler :) thank you so much for this generous ask and enjoy!

Gambit

Gambit's father tried to send Remy to receive formal education as a kid, but Gambit wasn't very cooperative about it (like, at all) and so he never finished

You would hardly know this though, as Gambit is not only, of course, able to read and write perfectly- but he is also bilingual (English and French), can write in cursive, and can read Roman numerals

Gambit grew up Catholic in comic canon, but as an adult he now carries and proclaims himself as atheist (this is also canon, I believe) however, in his heart of hearts, he's really more agnostic

Sometimes in dark hours, he will pray the rosary to soothe himself. That and, very rarely, he can sometimes be found sitting in the local chapel- just to think, he says

Also in comic canon, Gambit dreams of having a family and wants to be a dad one day- as for the headcannon, he'll never say a preference aloud, but secretly he hopes to have mostly girls

He has learned to braid and tie those big, glittery hair bows in preparation for this, but he would die before letting on about either of those skills

This is canon as far as the cartoon is concerned, but just for the record I hc that not only is Gambit indeed a really great cook, but it is also secretly one of his hobbies

Here's something interesting- in comic canon Gambit has his powers surgically reduced by Mr sinister so that he can better control them. For the hc, I believe this is where their red color comes from, but when he was at full power, his eyes were purple

Free fun fact! But this is how you can tell if the gambit I'm writing or drawing is at his full, godly power or not- I intentionally depict him with either color to suit my story/imagination

This might be actually controversial to some, but I am in this category of women myself, so do not fear: Gambit secretly is very (VERY) into curvy women, especially after having grown up in the south (he's a hips and thighs guy, if you're curious)

However, and this is the controversial part, he's one of Those Guys™ that feels ashamed of attraction, so he will very rarely pursue or even entertain them if anyone he knows is watching

If he thinks he can get away with it privately tho- he most definitely will go for it

In a world where he either doesn't end up with rogue or something tho, this weird embarrassment thing goes away entirely as he gets a little older and more emotionally mature

For my followers: this reservation does not exist at all in regards to dad bod Gambit. He proudly enjoys great food AND fine ass women- no holds barred

Gambit's love language is quality time, his myer briggs is ESTP, his sign is Leo, he's about 6'4 (I like to imagine him a little extra tall), and if you see me write/draw him with a dad bod he's at least about 34 years old

Nightcrawler

Nightcrawler cannot swim, at least- not formally

This has nothing to do with physical ability, but rather that he just never learned, mostly bc he has/had no need

He's never had any formal education either, and only learned to read and write at the monastery in his early 20s

This also means he barely spoke English until meeting the professor- now, he's fully fluent tho

I feel that some people are going to act like this is controversial, even tho it shouldn't be lmao- but I hc that Kurt is a virgin

I don't care what the comics say/imply or how old he is: on this blog he takes his faith very seriously and is waiting for marriage

While he grew up staunchly Catholic, as he has gotten older and had more opportunities to study religion on his own, he later converted to Christianity

On the subject of older Nightcrawler- as he ages, certain attributes of his mutation become more pronounced: his fur grows to a thicker, almost woolly texture, his top fangs are longer and protrude from his lip, and he gains slightly keener senses more akin to Wolverine's

On that note- Kurt's hair is naturally curly (although he does nothing to care for it) so once his fur starts growing thicker, this is where it gains it's interesting sherpa like quality instead of just the short, velvet like fuzz he's known for

While his human disguise changes all the time from comic to comic, I like to headcannon that Kurt's disguise is just his natural face and hair, but with human colors- obviously

I toyed with the idea that his human hair would be red/ginger like mother mystique, but ultimately I hc it to be a very light blonde and his eyes are honey brown

On virtue of being an extremely thin man, Kurt ALSO is strongly attracted to full figured women- unlike Gambit tho, at no point in his life does this attraction bother him nor impede his romantic pursuits

Kurt's love language is physical touch, his myer briggs is INFP, his sign is Cancer, and if you see me draw/write him with a dad bod he's probably about 38 years old

#i could write hcs just for dad bod versions of these characters tbh- but i shall restrain myself #im so happy rn like you legit have no idea #XMEN CONTENTTTTTTT WOOOOHOOOOOO #nightcrawler x reader #gambit x reader #marvel xmen

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batrogers · 3 months

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For any of my super niche fans curious how MY boys interact with taxation (based off this), here you go, under the cut bc *why do I have so many posts about taxes right now I stg*

Skyloft: doing the paperwork for Gaepora and Zelda wrt taxes, what's getting built and who needs help. He's honestly super happy to have stuff he can do at home to help out

Minish: dear Hylia please do not come near him with numbers, he will have fits but he CAN happily keep the store rooms sorted and he loves working with wire and other metals. His grandfather handles their taxes.

Kokiri: he's spent a lot of time helping Nabooru and Ganondorf with taxation among the Gerudo prior to this. His main use to Zelda is as a Threat against Lords that aren't paying their taxes.

Outset: he could not care less about harbour dues, and the fact that Tetra avodis them isn't a bad thing. The disaster in Gamelon happened because of the norms about letting people inspect the hold, so he's acquired some of her avoidance since.

Chief: If the gods could spare him from writing another budget about how much tax money they need for the Royal Engineers, he'd die happy. Unfortunately, Chief Royal Engineer means that's his life now. He WILL judge you for not paying your taxes. He will judge you hard.

Ordon: Mayor Bo handles taxation for the village, and Ilia ensures their herds (and children) have been accounted for, and Ordon honestly doesn't give a damn past that and doesn't have to.

Four: His father isn't dying anytime soon, so his only crime against taxation is not actually showing up for duty in the military... But fortunately, Zelda likes him and frankly nobody wants the chaos that would ensue if he DID. It just can't make the absence legal.

Prince: Legally speaking he's still a soldier who owes service for another decade and a half, but marrying the Queen has certainly redefined what that service looks like. He spends a lot of time doing paperwork about taxes. Most of his time, in fact. He would prefer to never have to account for acreage of wheat again in his life.

Rabbit: His uncle is still handling their household and he's quite happy to leave it that way, thank you very much. No further comment needed, thanks.

Smith: Upon becoming an apprentice to the castle smith, rather than the village smith, he's got a lot less to worry about with regards to guild fees and so on. Technically he's done his apprenticeship and could work on his own but he enjoys learning and also enjoys not having to pay anything but the head tax so he's happy to stay working for someone else.

Ravio: Gods save him from the ravages of doing numbers on yield from different fields. Please. It's gotten better but that just means there's more numbers. What did he do to deserve this.

Far: He sometimes does the tax rounds of the villages he knows to collect tax money because they'll trust him to be honest about taking it where he says he will. He also occasionally goes and deals with people calling themselves tax collectors who aren't. Zo and Zelt are a little hesitant, but in pursuit of legitimacy it's helpful. Just don't ask him to do the numbers himself.

Hateno: He has the uneviable position of paying taxes in both Tarrey Town AND Hateno Village, because he won't relinquish living in Hateno just because Zelda moved Flowerblight into her house. But it does cost him, and he's annoyed by that. He's been bugged about the whole 'aren't you going to do labour' before and rapidly shut them down, because everyone knows he's the guy who you ask to fix the really intractable problems not the general ones. He's also gotten into the "What kind of tax do you want anyways, I've got gleeok bits?" negotiations.

#That Broken Promise #Zelda meta #my writing #why do I keep doing this to myself #(because I already did the work that's why)

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lanshappycorner · 1 year

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wait i need u to expand on why you hate malyuu… but i lowk get it bc it’s kinda shoved down ppls throats in the fandom but i think there’s been wholesome fics that make me get it.

if you don’t feel comfortable to talk abt it then that’s ok!! i was just curious!

I don't mind talking abt it as long as everyone promises to not boo me with tomatoes!!

This will be a long rant I'm putting it under the cut

First off, I do not generally read fics with them, so that's probably why I cannot relate💀 but the thing is that fandomwise, it's just really annoying whenever ppl r like "wdym tw/st isnt an otome game *gestures to some generic Malleus quote*" like I've seen ppl calling this game an otome bc Malleus offered to let Yuu ride on his broom .

Like theres 1939593204 more near explicitly romantics lines in this game and u choose the one where this guy offers to let u ride on his equivalent of a bike ?? Rook literally calls Yuu "Love" at one point they r more canon to me and I dont even LIKE Rook like that

But anyways yeah it's just the fact that they're so often shoved down my throat as the "canon" ship that it annoys me, BUT BESIDES FROM THAT (theres more)

I do think that theoretically they could be a great ship bc isekai protag who is just some guy and an ancient fae who does not know of friendship is honestly such a good dynamic. But that is only theoretically because most content I see of that ship turns Malleus into just...Yaoi Boyfriend. Like idk how to explain it💔

Malleus in canon is a very selfish person and while I do believe he cares for Yuu, I also believe that he cares for his own desires more. I don't think he's learned to properly care or put others above himself, and that's what makes him fascinating (also given the events of ch 7 so far...). But in interpretations of that ship, he's just watered down to Yuu's bf, and bc Yuu is his first friend, he just suddenly became obsessed with them and has a soft spot for them or sumn

I think that Yuu's relationship with Malleus isn't as deep or close as a lot of the fandom portrays it to be. Malleus does not hang around Yuu as often as adeucegrim, and as far as I'm concerned, they r only as friendly as friends could be on a surface level. Yuu is one of the only people unafraid to speak to Malleus, so of course Malleus isn't going to be hostile towards them, but that doesn't mean that Malleus is going to have a heart to heart and hold hands and become bffs with them.

He's just happy someone's open to talking with him💀 and considering Yuu comes with a set of Interesting Circumstances, it's no wonder Malleus takes interest in them a little more than he would any other student. But that interest is once again just fueling his own curiosity and desires, it's not because he has any particular feelings for Yuu as a person

Sorry for rambling but in conclusion, I think they r theoretically good together and I'd be open to shipping them if they werent shoved down my throat 24/7 and mischaracterized in 4 different directions

#can you tell ive been holding this in #i have too much to say

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valleynix · 10 months

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More information on the signs/ how I think they suit the sisters:

Cancer main personality traits: loyal, protective, intuitive, sensitive, and caring.

I mean…does that not describe Bela to a T? Her emotional side is kept mostly to herself, while her protective and loyal side is more at the forefront. The way she interacts with the maids shows more of her caring and intuitive side. Meaning that if someone has done something wrong, she pretty much just intuitively knows. But she’s caring and treats them fairly well

More traits include: Nurturing (she takes care of her sisters), self-protective (hence why she tends to hide her emotions, she doesn’t want to get hurt by being vulnerable), as well as security-offering (she has an aura about her that makes people around her feel safe)

Sagittarius main personality traits: honest, direct, passionate, outspoken, and self-assured

Again….pretty suitable to Cass’s personality (in my humble opinion) she is VERY direct in her approach to “hunting” her victims, and she shows this by telling them exactly what she plans to do with them. She doesn’t evade the topic of death as much as her sisters(ie.there’s no flirting or teasing. Rather just…threatening). She’s passionate in that she would do anything to protect her family/the castle. She makes it very clear that there’s no tolerance for anything even slightly perceived as a threat to her family’s safety. She’s pretty outspoken, as shown by her chattiness when it comes to killing her victims. For example, she says things like “taken alive, dead, which would you prefer?” But then almost immediately moves on to say something else before they can respond. (The “let me string you up and slice your jugular” line or something). And lastly, she shows her self assured-ness by the way she moves with all the confidence that her method of killing will work. She clearly knows what she’s doing, and she clearly knows that it has always worked in her favour. (The self-assured trait can be assigned strictly to her work, as her general posture ie; keeping her head down, the way she keeps her flies covering her most of the time, tells a different story about her confidence in other areas of her life)

Some additional traits: Impulsive, impatient, and unforgiving. ….need I explain more?

Gemini main personality traits: quick-witted, charming, inquisitive (can be perceived as nosiness), scattered, and unpredictable

OHHHH YES. THATS MY DANI. YUPPERONI.

She’s definitely witty, i can’t name a specific instance from in-game that would prove this, but I CAN imagine her being witty with her sisters (mostly Cass), anyways… she’s charming and it’s proven by the way she flirts with her victims (and probably the maids, regularly), as for the inquisitive trait, I again, cannot name a specific instance in-game for an example, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t fit. I can imagine her asking lots of questions and just being curious in general. With everyone. She loves to learn new things about people and just seems to know everyone on a personal level. AH got distracted. Um. Okay. She shows her overall scattered-ness in her attacks. She doesn’t have one particular way of killing/injuring her victims. The only consistent part of her attacks is the flirtatiousness she exhibits. She tends to copy her sisters and mothers mannerisms (adorable) and sprinkles in some of her own here and there, which contributes to the scattered manor of her personality. She’s generally very unpredictable. She could be flirting with you one second, and have her sickle flying towards you the next.

Additional traits: child-like whimsy (she lives in her own little world and is a tad delulu), deceptiveness (seems harmful and not very intimidating but you better watch your back bc that can change in an instant and it’s horrifying)

That’s all! (I say as if I didn’t just write a whole essay…)

These are mostly just my personal opinions/ideas of their personalities and my general knowledge of the signs mentioned. For anyone reading this: please dont be mean to me :(

OUGH THE WAY YOU JUST DESCRIBED ALL OF THEM PERFECTLY??? HOLY SHIT

i am a firm believer in all of these simply because of how much is suits each one. like… it’s kind of difficult to get specific instances when they were barely shown in-game, but taking what we know and expanding on it seems to fit them PERFECTLY with these descriptions. Bela is typically such a mystery to me (which is probably part of her wanting to keep her emotional side in check and not show it often) but the way you described her???? oh my god

AND MY BABY CASS… god i loved reading that. she keeps herself more hidden than her sisters with her flies and i always thought that was a little strange, but i fully believe she’s not as confident in her looks/appearance as they are (bc like… while she’s not “conventionally” attractive, she’s still fine as hell) but then she also doesn’t quite seem to care?? so maybe she just puts on this front that she doesn’t care what people think of her or what she looks like, but deeper down, maybe it bothers her a little?? IDK ACK

AND DANI… MY LOVE… please she is so so sweet but also SO dangerous and i LOVE HER. i think a lot of her flirtatiousness with her victims comes from the fact she reads a lot of romances/wants to be in one, while also having very sadistic tendencies. i HATE when people mischaracterize her as this immature child who cannot function without someone because it’s just not true!! she’s a little delusional and can get lost in her own world, but she’s very capable and is an ADULT. she’s smart like her sisters, perhaps without the killing confidence? she probably has all the appearance confidence tho LMAO

ANYWAYS idk if any of that made sense but i loved reading your essay because it just DOES make sense with their characters. it seems very… them?? like i could see each trait in them and how it connected to what we see in-game and how others have expanded upon that. your honor i love them and i love this little essay sm <333

#asks #AAAAA #i will talk about them all day every day #i’m insane that’s why

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risingsoleil · 1 year

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hey

what do you think would happen if somehow tenzin got to au world instead of lin (and tenzin from au world to canon)?

really can’t stop thinking about it since you start publishing the fic bc it would be so hurtful sad and fun like you know how awkward sometimes tenzin can act

maybe someday you’ll post small clippings from situations in which he would stuck into i’ll climb on cloud nine

Hey anon! Someone also suggested this as a oneshot and I've thought about it a little bit! I don't know exactly what will go down if this were completely written out, but here are some general ideas:

Canon Tenzin

He'll probably hear some distorted voices while getting carried back to the island, and see hazy visions of Lin by his side along with these new faces who look so much like her. Some of them are saying "Dad" and he is not coherent enough to ask who they are and he knocks out

I think the kids' feelings are really gonna hurt when they hear him say "You're not my children. I'm sorry, I don't know who you are." Lin is prob pissed lmao

When they find out he's not their own Tenzin, there's def gonna be an interview haha He has so many mixed emotions bc this is the life he envisioned and wanted with Lin, these are their children who he daydreamed about having. Here they are now, he's learning about their personalities and knows what they look like

All of the kids are gonna spar him bc how dare he break up with their mother and marry an acolyte in the same year? They're all gonna win bc they know how to beat him 🤣

Lin is gonna be the one who has the most difficult time with him. She wants her husband back, this is not the one she created a life and family with. Tbh for some reason, I can see her actually pulling away from canon Tenzin while the kids are the ones spending more time with him. The kids are familiar of their parents' history together, but Lin and Tenzin are the ones who lived it together (albeit different experiences with this switch) and they both take it the hardest

Despite her frustrations with him, she wouldn't turn her back on him. Just make him sleep in another room until he goes back to canon lol

He's also prob trying to stay in this universe ngl and Lin wants her airhead back

AU Tenzin

I feel so bad for him

While I think he'll be very cordial and civil when addressing Pema and her kids, it's quite obvious that he has no emotional connection to her or them. I can see Pema trying to spark that connection with him, but he's very clear on his boundaries that he's married to Lin and he has children with Lin and will remain faithful to her. While he may look like her husband, he's not.

Compared to AU Lin who has only two photos on her, Tenzin has multiple photos lmao he has a family photo and individual ones of the kids when they're all young.

He's trying to spend more time with Lin, but he's learning very quickly that she was hurt badly in this universe. She's the only connection he really has and he wants to be there to support her. Meanwhile Lin trying not to get lured by how much better this version of airhead is is getting a headache figuring out how he can go home to his family. But she's genuinely curious about their life together

Lin would act like she doesn't care about the photos, but inside she's studying it so intently. Wondering what they're all like, what their voices sound like, how the atmosphere feels if she were to ever meet them. Tenzin is hyping them up lol he prob also tries to hype her up and she's building up an extra wall

I think if he were switched, he wouldn't be in other world for very long. He'd prob stay for there for no more than a week? I really enjoyed this ask bc I haven't had the chance to think super hard about Tenzin switching xD if you have any other ideas that you want to see as a oneshot to expand on the CCC fic, feel free to send bc I only have a few atm 🥲 im gonna do a short one of pema being switched to AU world but this is after Lin gives birth to the twins just to be spiteful mwahahaha

#fic ask #linzin au #tlok

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brokebark · 2 years

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thoughts on steadied in general??

do you mean steddie / steveddie? i’m gonna assume so based on my blog content lol, lmk if you meant something else :-)

in general…. hoo boy. there’s something so fun about taking an unknown character from bts pics and preemptively shaping him into a dynamic character. also just the joy of basically building a collective oc with other people, sharing headcanons for this character we only have a visual reference of, etc. and as we learn more and more about eddie and get closer to seeing him be an actual fleshed-out character on screen it’s even more fun bc they have so much potential for a super fun dynamic! steve is weird and so is eddie. i could talk abt steve all day every day but he’s just this character with such a sense of protectiveness and responsibility for everyone else and he doesn’t really treat himself with the same respect and care and he’s got all these insecurities and i feel like there’s so much unknown about him and how he’s feeling i feel like hes unsure of himself a lot of the time. and i think hed just be kind of. fascinated by eddie. outwardly eddie is so confident and unashamed and sure of himself, so unapologetically weird and “different”. but i think eddie although a lot of himself is out there he still holds a lot of his cards to his chest for his own sense of safety. i dunno!!!! i have no idea where i was going with that. i think once they met they would just be very curious about each other. they seem very different but their circles have intertwined. i am literally making this up on the spot but i feel like it kind of makes sense i have no idea what im saying anymore

#anyways. t4t #steveddie #asks

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caffeinelemur · 1 year

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✋I'm interested in the bear story!

Oh! Well here’s a not as cool as it sounds story of how I saved some people and a bear by knowing about bears (specifically brown and grizzly bears) and the National Park Service:

Well, I live on/near a few National Parks and Parkways, and as such there are a lot of scenic drives and walks you can take for photos and such. My mom and I are photographers, and it’s beautiful up on the mountains when the trees start turning in autumn, so we like to go take photos on various drives and trails. We were on one of the drives on a park proper, aka- watched over by the Park Rangers, and we were taking photos out the windows and occasionally stopping at places designated for viewing over the mountains. As we were getting near the end, a somewhat large amount of cars and people (comparatively, it’s not generally crowded as such, so seeing more than three cars at the side of the road at an unmarked spot meant something interesting was happening) were staring and taking photos of something in the forest. As we got closer I saw an adult brown bear, not very close but worryingly close (worryingly to me, not to these people apparently) enough to be visible from the road, and these idiots were all out of their cars, some with children, taking pictures with flashing lights, and I was immediately in Autistic Animal Welfare Mode and went on my phone to find out how to contact the Rangers or the Park Service or someone, as I ranted about it to the my parents and the air in general.

The bear was most likely a mother who was either looking for her child or food, the only reasons she would have come that close to the road, and so that situation needed to be taken care of on its own, she was in danger and the Rangers have safe ways of handling that, but the people and flashing were going to make her feel threatened, in turn causing a domino effect of bullshit that could end with a lot of injuries.

I was at the point of trying to call a phone number which if you know me means I’m very serious bc I don’t talk on the phone, I don’t answer calls that are important I cannot do it, when we came up to the small station you generally have to pay toll/entrance fees at but we have a pass, and I made them stop the car and in another unprecedented move from someone with severe social anxiety and very little time to come up with a script, told the Ranger posted there exactly what was going on and my fears about it, my parents had to help me remember/describe exactly where it was bc I can’t describe/deal with directions well, but she immediately got ahold of more people to get over there. She thanked me and said she didn’t know very many people who would even know to tell them, let alone do it, and I told her the Rangers taught my preschool class about bears and I held a baby one, and I’ve only learned more since then, so full circle moment I guess, and she said she was glad I payed attention because I probably just saved both the people and the bear from at the very least severe injuries, and possibly even a life. So that’s my bear story.

Bears aren’t maneaters or killing machines, they can be very gentle and sweet and curious; but they are wild animals and in a threatening environment will react as an animal would, and people can be seen as a threat. This will generally result in injuries to both the person and the bear. Do not try to get close to a wild bear. Leave the bear alone. Most bears just want to be left alone. If you are in the bear’s environment, you are much less likely to be in harm’s way than if the bear is in yours, ex. you camping in the woods vs the bear near a road. Do not get out of your car with your young children and take flash photography of the probably hungry and already stressed bear. This has been a message from The Bear Council Caff.

For more information on how to interact/be safe if you come into contact with a bear, the National Park Service has some useful info.

#caff answers #caff rants #BEARS!!! i love them #stop being stupid about bears #i have a photo of me/my preschool class with that baby bear #in my preschool yearbook #if i can find it #this is kind of US-East-Coast-Centric probably #idk how useful this info is anywhere else #but ive only ever lived here so #my one big move changed nothing in that sense #i moved from one parkway to another nearby park like we all be on dem mountains dough

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obscuremarvelmuses · 9 months

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Darkstar Reread

Iron Man #110 picks up with Iron Man and Jack of Hearts having entered the egg and then been seemingly vaporized, but actually been teleported to another ship, which is full of little green men (yes really, though they’re not Skrulls) doing stuff, and they fight. It turns out this is the command ship of a huge colonizer fleet, and they want to take over a world called. . .Wundagore II? So like…a planet…with the same name as Mt. Wundagore? Is there any connection? I normally don’t really care about the plots in these stories, just what I learn about Laynia, but I’m kinda curious now because that’s a hell of coincidence. Also, does anyone else think that Wanda was probably named after Wundagore? I mean she was born at its foot and her name sounds a LOT like “Wunda” I know she was created looong before that was decided as her birthplace, but I mean in-universe! Anyway, back on the moon, Vanguard says it’s been hours since the Americans went on the egg “braving dangers unknown” and that it’s not right, that they should follow them, die with them if need be. So he doesn’t like them, but he does have a strong sense of honor, even if he puts it before reason. Luckily, Darkstar supplies the reason, telling him that such a sacrifice would be senseless and that if that egg is an alien menace, someone has to survive to warn Earth. I hate to say it, because I dislike this trope, but I think that the Soviet squad is yet another case of “the only girl on the team also has its own brain cell” Superiors from Moscow send a communication, and Darkstar immediately says they are safe thanks to the bravery of American heroes. I love her and I do like her ability to be open minded and think beyond “this person is my enemy bc our countries are at odds” but I also dislike how her praising Americans is the main way we know she’s The Good One and The Reasonable One. The general from Moscow informs the team that the egg is a danger to all so they’ll be working with the Americans, and a SHIELD mission is going to join them, but it’s going to take time so they have to remain where they are and report on any further developments. Vanguard is pouty about having to miss out on “glorious combat” and Darkstar wonders if they will ever see Iron Man and Jack again, or if whatever is in the egg has killed them. Stuff happens with Iron Man and the aliens, and they arrive at Wundagore II, and clearly it definitely does have some connection to the Earth’s Mt. Wundagore, because it’s being defended by human/animal hybrids on mechanical flying steeds! I recognize these guys—it’s the New Men, animals who were “uplifted” by the High Evolutionary! Did he get himself a freaking planet?! Who knows! Til next time, comrades!

#darkstar reread

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clairecrive · 3 years

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Hi could we please get a really angsty fic with nikolai (with a happy ending pls) where reader and he has had a fight so they maintain the facade on the outside bc they're royals but in private it's just ignoring each other/angst?

Young Royals

A/N: ahh, this is angsty alright but it seems I'm only capable of writing hurt/comfort lately. This took a life of its own and it's long af but I hope you like it anyway x

Warnings: miscommunication, angst, fighting, hurt/comfort, Nikolai is a bit absent, you're a bit jealous of his relationship with Zoya

Tags: @jupiterandbutterflies, @agentsofsheilds , @for-bebbanburg , @randomoutsiders , @pansysgirlfriend , @hannaxmaria , @vintagebitc , @story-scribbler , @crowssixof , @odetostep,@lizzie-he4rts, @korol-lantsov, @subjecta13-thefangirl, @gallysonegoodlung, @a-c-lee, @mriddlemethis, @carnationworld,@thanossexual, @luvxginger, @sanna2020,@partiesandblurrypolaroids, @edithsvoice, @wafflesandschemingfaces (tag list form)

SHADOW AND BONE MASTERLIST

"Do not put words into my mouth, Nikolai."

"Please, you already have so many, my love," he scoffed and the use of the term of endearment hurt the most.

"You're making me sound like a brat while I'm providing you with a viable solution," you insisted with a flare of your hands, frustrated by his unwillingness to listen to you.

"No, you're not. What you're doing is being childish."

"I'm your queen, Nikolai. I'm only asking to be more involved."

"You're my wife, y/n, and you know nothing about politics or running a country." He retired, putting emphasis on wife. This felt a lot like being put into place. And the fact that it was your husband doing so, hurt. It was also the most you had seen him this week.

"Neither did Zoya, nor Genya or anyone who's currently running the country."

"That's different and you know it."

"Only because you're making it so," you exclaimed finally exploding. His despondency got on your nerves and this conversation was going nowhere anyway.

Surprised by your raise of voice, Nikolai stood before you just blinking at you.

Sighing, you took a step toward him, holding your hands up, "look, you're right, I don't know about running a country but teach me. I'm not stupid, I'll pick it up."

"Why are you insisting so much? You've never shown any interest in politics before." He gave you a puzzled look like he didn't really believe your intentions.

"I've never wanted to be queen before." before meeting you.

"Ah, I see," he chuckled mirthlessly, "I put you in this situation and now you're taking your revenge."

To insinuate that your marriage with him was you "being put into a situation" rather than a consensual decision you had made out of love was absurd.

Nikolai was right. You had never cared about politics or diplomacy before meeting him. You were a soldier. There was no reason for you to meddle with something that didn't concern you.

But now you were queen and you felt a responsibility towards your people. You wanted to help but so far, Nikolai hadn't allowed you to take part in any meetings. He said that anyone who needed to be there was already involved. What he didn't tell you was that while Grisha made excellent soldiers and even good councillors, one of them being a royal was a very different matter.

He had indulged his love for you by marrying you. You were his vice and he simply couldn't accept the idea of being without you anymore. He had married you, consequently making you queen, going against what his advisors told him.

While he ignored his warnings he was painfully aware, however, how difficult it was going to be for a Grisha on the throne. It was the first time something liked this had ever happened and unfortunately, the country was filled with people who resented Grisha for their powers.

Nikolai feared that the people were never going to accept you. Hence why he'd been keeping you secluded in the palace.

To be fair, you were doing a wonderful job. Like he had pointed out, you were not accustomed to politics but you made up for that with empathy and kindness. You started to interest yourself with the problem of poverty and lack of provisions for some parts of the country.

And while no one was aware of it, Nikolai often turned to you for military strategy. You were an apt soldier and had fought bravely alongside him and everyone else in the battle of the Fold. You were the very reason why he was still alive, to be honest.

While this arrangement worked for the first months of your reign, it was starting to feel an inadequate effort. You needed to do more, you wanted to do more. You didn't expect Nikolai to oppose it so vehemently.

"If I didn't want to be here I wouldn't be, Nikolai, you'd do well to remember it," you pointed out coldly, straightening your spine.

"Since you seem so adverse at spending time with me or including me in important matters, I'll find someone else who will." And with that, chin held high, you walked out of the room.

You missed him. It felt absurd to say this but you missed your husband. He was always busy with meetings or official visits to some noble across the country. For most of them, he went alone or with Zoya.

You knew that she was his first in command but you couldn't help but be bothered by it. It was one thing to accept the fact that he hadn't given the role to you "because the queen cannot have that role as well", it was a whole other thing to accept the fact that another woman spent more time with your husband than you did.

Countless were the fights you had with him in this regard. But they were pointless. Nikolai was still set on not bringing you and he and Zoya were always found together.

You didn't know what hurt more. The blow at your pride for being denied a position you deserved because of who you loved, the jealousy or being punished for your identity.

One thing was sure though, it was getting too much. At first, you pulled thought for Nikolai but now that you didn't have him anymore, your efforts seemed to be in vain.

So, like you had told Nikolai, you looked for someone who was willing to teach you. You wanted to help and if Nikolai wasn't going to let you here at the palace, then you'd find somewhere else.

Count Kirigin had always been nice to you and he was a very generous host. You knew that he played a central role in Nikolai's plan so you thought that there was no one better than him.

You reached out to him, wrote him a letter in which you showed interest in his activity and asked him if he was willing to show you. Of course, anything that came from the queen or the king couldn't be denied but you knew that the Count truly enjoyed your company. If your position didn't put so much higher than everybody else, you'd even consider him a friend.

You waited for his reply before putting in motion the preparations for your departure.

In the meantime, you and Nikolai kept conducting your separate lives. Usually, you'd only see him at night when he returned to your chambers if you were still up. Now, you had decided to sleep in separate rooms too.

If he wanted a wife, then a wife he'd get. But kings and queens do not sleep together.

If the new arrangement was bothering him, you didn't know. He hadn't reached out to you nor made any move to rectify your decision.

Turns out that he wasn't even at the Palace. He had left for a mission near the border with Shu Han and wouldn't be back for at least a week. Well, then. Of course, he didn't even bother with telling you. Not even a small note.

Jokes on him though, you thought, since when he was going to come back, he'd finally get what he wanted. You weren't going to be there to bother him anymore.

Differently from him though, you did indeed left him a note. Nikolai found it a week after you had set it on his pillow. Its presence made him furrow his eyebrows since he had already been wondering where you were. You usually came out to meet him at the gates whenever he'd come back from a mission and even though you had fought before he went away, you weren't one for holding grudges. So e guessed there was something holding you.

Unfolding the paper he was met with your familiar chaotic writing.

"I don't know when you're going to find this letter but if I'm not there yet it means that I'm still at Count Kirigin's. Do not bother with writing or visiting, I'll come back when my business with him is done.

Y/n"

What in the name of every sweet loving saint???

The letter wasn't dated, no dear, no yours no nothing. Fuck. You were still mad or worse, hurt.

Asking one of the servants, he learned that you had been away for a week already. But what business could you possibly have with the Count??

Nikolai had nothing against him. Seeing Kirigin get all flustered as he tried to flirt with Zoya amused him to no end but the idea of him and you in the same house? Alone?? Unacceptable.

Not even bothering to change clothes after his long journey, Nikolai headed to the stables to ask for a well-rested horse. Luckily, Count Kirigin's estate was not too far away. A couple of hours ride.

Turns out that the Count had a lot to teach. Despite his aloof reputation and extravagant clothes, he was very observant. He lacked ambition, which was why Nikolai trusted him and had a curious way of behaving in social situations.

But Emil had been born and raised in high society. He knew how things were run even if he had no desire to be in charge of them.

So far, you'd be having a wonderful time. Emil was a wonderful host, as you remembered, but without Nikolai's presence, he was even more extravagant. He had an unexpectedly dry sense of humour and a never-ending list of jokes.

Being in the open and in the company of someone who saw y/n instead of the Queen of Ravka proved to be even more needed than you thought. You felt reinvigorated and much lighter than you'd ever been.

You had also been learning a lot. Emil had been teaching you about diplomacy. About the best ways of formulating a sentence so that you wouldn't offend anyone but still get what you wanted. He had also been talking to you about your husband's ministers. About their weaknesses and vices and what was the best way to approach them to get what you wanted.

So far, it was proving to be a wonderful decision to come here.

Whenever your mind strayed on Nikolai, you willed it to focus on something else. You didn't know if he had already come home or seen the letter. A part of you thought that if he had, he would at least write one back. But the thought felt a lot like hope and seeing as how little he saw you even before you left, you didn't think it safe to harbour it.

When Nikolai reached the estate, he was met with Kirigin's servants. They welcomed him inside and profusely apologised for the Count's absence. They told him that at this time of the day, Kirigin and his guest would usually go out on a ride but that they were also about to return.

So Nikolai waited, sitting in the most comfortable chair the Count owned, fuming at the thought that his wife had felt the need to go away and be in the company of another man.

"If I didn't want to be here, I wouldn't be Nikolai. You'd do well to remember it."

Your words haunted him. They were the last thing that you told him. How stupid had he been to let you walk away. How utterly careless of him to disregard you like that.

He had promised himself to truly talk to you about it once this pressing matter of state was taken care of. Apparently, he had waited too long.

But Nikolai knew that the problem was at the source. He noticed how hurt you had been when he made Zoya his first in command. Or how sad you seemed everywhere he went somewhere with her and didn't ask you to join.

He was doing so to protect you from the inevitable slander you'd be met with. He should have known though that putting you aside was going to be even worse. You were a fighter just as much as Zoya was, if not stronger.

She hid behind her veil of indifference and superiority while you had never lost that emphatic verve that made everyone love you so much. In his attempt to make you safe, he had only managed to hurt you.

You were a warrior. You had accepted the role of queen only because it was the only way for you to be with Nikolai. And instead of praising you by making you a warrior queen, he had decided to hide you away.

Well, no more.

If his mistakes had not ruined everything already, he was going to make everything better.

Lost in his musing, he didn't hear the sound of hooves approaching but he did indeed hear your laugh. It immediately brought him back to the present and a wave of ugly jealousy hit him.

He couldn't remember the last time he made you laugh.

"I shouldn't even laugh Emil, the joke was terrible," Nikolai hear you giggling from somewhere in the hall. So now he was Emil, huh.

"You know you can't resist my charm, your highness," Emil replied and Nikolai had to call on every bit of his self-control to not barge out of the room and punch him.

"Stop it, you know you can call me y/n."

Before Emil could reply, they had both made it to the sitting room where Nikolai was waiting for them. It looked like no one had warned them of his presence because Kirigin looked surprised then utterly mortified.

"Your majesty, I wasn't aware you were here. Please forgive me for making you wait."

"Don't fret Kirigin, it was an impromptu visit. I came to see how my lovely wife was doing." No matter how green he was feeling right now, he knew that Kirigin was loyal to him and the crown. Whatever was happening here wasn't one of his schemes.

"Of course! I'm going to send for some tea while you two get reunited." Kirigin quickly bowed before hurrying out of the room.

Nikolai met your eyes for the first time since you had arrived. If at first, you were surprised to see him, now you couldn't help but be a bit sceptical about this visit.

"What are you doing here?" you asked breaking the ice.

"You leave with only a few lines on where you're going and you expect me to just accept it?" He scoffed, his hands curling on the armrests of the chair.

"It's more than what you gave me," you quipped, crossing your arms on your chest.

Nikolai sighed while his gloved hands run through his hair. You were right and he knew it. He had been a horrible husband lately.

"I know you're mad at me, honey, but listen-"

"I'm not mad. You didn't want to give me what I wanted so I went looking for it somewhere else." Scrolling your shoulders, you interrupted him without meeting his eyes. A list of excuses was not what you wanted nor what you needed from him.

Nikolai didn't miss the innuendo. His jaw clenched, his hands closed in fists. But he willed himself to stay calm.

"You think Kirigin can give you something that I can't?" Nikolai was a master in diplomacy. Never did he get frustrated or angry or raised his voice, even with the most aggravating people. Here though, with you, he didn't have to keep a façade. He spoke through his teeth barely containing his anger.

"Well, so far, he's been giving me attention and interesting pointers that no, Nikolai, you refused to give me."

"So this is how you solve your problems? Running away in the countryside with Emil?" Nikolai sneered, his tone souring around Kirigin's name.

"Don't you do the same with your precious first in command?" Tired after your ride with Emil, you plopped down on the chair in front of Nikolai's. Completely ignoring his tone, you pointed out calmly. The perfect image of aloofness even when it was the last thing you were in this moment.

"That's different," he snapped trying to meet your eyes that were carefully analyzing your hands.

"Yes," you signed, "it seems that when I'm concerned everything is different."

"There's nothing between me and Zoya, y/n and you know it." Nikolai was getting more frustrated by the second. He came here to apologize, to make things right and so far, the conversation was going in the opposite directions.

"Maybe now, but you spend more time with her than you do with me. It's only a matter of time before it happens and you're sorely mistaken if you think I'll just stand by and watch."

"This is not about Zoya," he insisted but so far, he wasn't getting the reaction out of you he wanted. You seemed... resigned at the situation. And that worried Nikolai to no end.

"It never is."

"Why did you run away?" Opting for a more direct approach, he bit the bullet and went straight to the point.

"I did not run away," you scoffed in contempt at his choice of words, "I told you I wanted to do more and Emil is teaching me. Not everyone is so against spending time with me, you know." You shot him a glance.

It was the first time that you had looked at him since you had been left alone.

"I married you, y/n. How can you possibly believe I don't want to spend time with you?" As desperation slipped through his words, Nikolai leaned towards you in his seat. As if he couldn't bear the distance between you anymore. But you knew it wasn't that. You and he had been distant for months now.

"Because that's what's happening, Nikolai," you clipped back and Nikolai had to refrain from wincing at your tone.

"It's not intentional, my love, I've just been busy." His tone softened. It was a poor excuse of an apology but it was sadly the truth.

"But when I say that I want to join or help you with it you strongly oppose?" Again, there was that suspicious implication in your words that Nikolai just couldn't stand. To think that you believed he'd ever cheat on you with another woman when he had done so much, taken so many risks, to be with you.

"It's not what you think, y/n." He insisted again but immediately realized he had said the wrong thing when he saw you leaning back into your chair shaking your head.

"I don't think anything, anymore. Do whatever you want. You do your thing and I'll do mine. I won't be a bother to you anymore." Holding up your hands, you gestured as you spoke.

A beat. Nikolai froze in his seat at what you were suggesting.

"You're never a bother to me. Never." He leaned even forwards in his chair, basically only propping on it now. The desperation was now clear in his voice. He reached out to you to try and take hold of your hands but you were too distant.

"I love you more than anything in this world and if you think that I'm going to let you go without a fight, you're sorely mistaken." The steel determination of his words caught you off guard. Nikolai was strong-headed, you knew that better than anyone else, but it had been a long while since that determination had been directed to you.

"You already did." It was barely a whisper. The sad truth about your reality, the downfall of your relationship. The wavering of your voice, the pain in your eyes were enough to tip Nikolai off the edge.

"Milaya, please."He fell onto his knees in front of you. Leaning forward he reached for your hands that he could now hold. "I'm sorry. I put you in a difficult position when I married you and I tried my best to protect you."

"I don't need protecting, Nikolai, especially if it's by pushing me away."

"I was keeping you away from danger and I know that you're strong and capable but I hate to think of you as the object of public slander." His eyes darted between yours, frantic, desperate to make you understand.

"I'm Grisha, Nikolai. It's nothing new to me," you pointed out but then it hit you.

"By difficult position, you meant a Grisha Queen, didn't you?" Your eyes hardened at the implications, your hands going slack in his hold. You would have pulled them away if Nikolai didn't tighten his hold.

"Please, do not think I'm regretting my choice or I think you're not worthy of the title because that's not true." Pulling your hands, he tried to get you closer to him. "I fear that there will be repercussions among the people." And there it was, at last, the truth.

"And among your ministers," you added remembering Emil's lessons on the people at court and their role.

You scoffed when he stayed silent. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I thought I was doing the right thing, my love."

"So Zoya can handle it and I can't?"

"For the millionth time," he groaned, "I don't care about Zoya."

"I only care about you and I know you can handle it. I just didn't want you to. You deserve happiness and peaceful life and I know it's impossible to have in this saints' forsaken country but I can at least try." His eyes lowered in shame and his confession sent a pang through your heart. You took a moment to take in what he said.

Never had you thought about the possibility of Nikolai's distance was a form of protection. You were a soldier of the Second Army, after all. But being a queen, especially a Grisha one, was a delicate thing.

It was the first time in history that something like this happened. Nikolai's worries were not unfounded since even after the destruction of the Fold, anti-Grisha movements were spreading fast.

It was sad to see the General's attempt of assuring safety for Grisha, provoking exactly the opposite thing.

"Oh, Kolya," returning his grip, you leaned towards him, "I just want a life with you by my side."

"As do I. I want you always and forever but above all, I want you safe. There's nothing I wouldn't do for you, you know it right?"

"I just ask that you tell me the truth and let me play the role I've been given."

"It's not going to be easy. People at court-"

"I know. That's why I'm here. Emil's been teaching."

"Well, no more. I'm going to take care of it from now on."

"Is this a promise or a threat?"

"Rest assured my love, the difference between the two is almost nonexistent." He flashed you a smirk and you couldn't help but smile at him. Here it was, your beloved Nikolai.

"Things are going to change, aren't they?" you murmured softly as he gently rested his forehead against yours.

"We're going to show everyone what a "power couple" is." Here was his promise. Sealed with the gentlest nudging of his nose to yours. The action made you smile and your heart soar. You missed these little moments of intimacy with him.

One of his hands came to cradle your face as the other kept hold of your left hand. Your rings softly clicked as they touched. A form of reassurance.

"I love you, y/n."

"And I you, Kolya."

You were completely lost in your little bubble, even more so when Nikolai's lips finally met yours, that you had forgotten where you were. And that there was an embarrassed Kirigin outside the door waiting for the right moment to come in with tea.

#nikolai lanstov #nikolai lanstov x reader #nikolai lanstov x you #nikolai lanstov angst #nikolai lanstov fic #nikolai lanstov imagine #nikolai lanstov imagines #nikolai lanstov one shot #nikolai lanstov fluff #grishaverse #shadow and bone

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robininthelabyrinth · 3 years

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🧿🤠🐇🍲🍯: Lan Wangji does not think it’s safe to raise A-Yuan in Cloud Recesses after the Lans participated in the killing of his zhiji and the entire Burial Mounds community (or more accurately that it’s not safe while he himself is in seclusion and can’t watch over A-Yuan, at least) so he delivers A-Yuan to the one person who he knows did not stand against Wei Wuxian (and got away with it, bc this person has never stood against anything, since standing takes effort): Nie Huaisang.

Little Side Door - ao3

Nie Huaisang’s rooms in the Unclean Realm had a little side door that no one but him ever used.

They hadn’t originally. The Unclean Realm was a fortress, designed to maximize protection and defense; there was no better place for keeping things safe by locking them away. While it had its fair share of boltholes and escape routes, they were not common and universally difficult to access lest the enemy learn of them and use them to their advantage. Even the layout of their open spaces were carefully planned lest the attack come from the sky, a concern that only cultivators had, and not about how they themselves could escape – after all, weren’t they all Nie, ready to die rather than endure dishonor?

The little side door that led to Nie Huaisang’s room opened onto a small rock garden, left to grow wild with weeds rather than reveal its presence to more people. It existed only because his brother had ordered it constructed by those he trusted most, all in secret in the dark of the night. He had never explained why he had gone to such lengths to create such an unwelcome and inauspicious place, but then, he hadn’t needed to – Nie Huaisang had been there, too, when his father had descended into madness and they had been trapped in the familial quarters with no way out that did not take them through him. If his brother had been the one to brave his father’s rage directly, Nie Huaisang had been the one stuck in a small space that was only not claustrophobic because it was so painfully familiar.

Now, though his father was long dead and gone, Nie Huaisang had a little side door.

A little side door, and a little garden that almost no one knew about; in combination with the saber that his brother forced him to learn and the golden core he had so begrudgingly formed, he now had a way to reach the sky and the illusive freedom it represented – the freedom to flee and leave his home behind.

If it ever happens again – his brother had said once, the closest he had ever come to speaking of it.

He did not finish his sentence, as Nie Huaisang had thrown his plate into his face and stormed off, steaming mad and close to tears. He did not raise the subject a second time.

Nie Huaisang did not often use his little side door.

Although he enjoyed gardens, he preferred the aviary he’d constructed, or one of the myriad of well-tended gardens in the main part of the sect; even the vegetable gardens out back beside the kitchens were far more welcoming than that sparse straggle of land. He’d only ever spent time there when he was a child and in desperate need of some quiet, wanting to avoid adults with their arguments and their miseries; he’d taken some friends there because he thought it might impress them, but it hadn’t, and anyway his brother had put a stop to that soon enough.

He didn’t even think about the little side door, most days. It was just a part of the room, a small tucked away corner with nothing in it. Nothing to think about.

And then, of course, years after he’d put it out of his mind entirely, there came a terrible banging noise at that little side door, like someone was kicking at it furiously from the outside.

Nie Huaisang nearly fell over sideways in his scramble to get up, and then once again when he realized where the noise was coming from – almost no one knew about his side door and its little garden, and so no one had ever come to him through it. Who would be knocking now…?

He opened it.

Lan Wangji, white robes stained with blood and cheeks bright with fever, shoved something into his arms. “You have a child now,” he said through bitten lips. “Congratulations. He is called A-Yuan. I entrust you with his care, for my sect cannot be trusted with it.”

And then he turned and staggered away, mounting up on Bichen and flying off before Nie Huaisang could say anything – before he could even finish searching his memories and recalling that yes, in fact, Lan Wangji had been one of the friends he had shown the side door to, years and years before, and thus knew how to find it. Before he could even start processing the thousands of thoughts that had spring to life, fully formed, at all the information he’d just received: the bloody robes, the desperation, the reference to the Lan sect – the Lan sect! – being somehow untrustworthy…

He looked down at his arms.

“Congratulations,” he echoed blankly. “I have a child now.”

The child blinked up at him, and then smiled.

“Da-ge!” Nie Husiang howled, rushing into the sect leader’s study where his brother was doing work – luckily it wasn’t receiving hours and he wasn’t in the main hall, as that would have been unfortunate. “Da-ge, you have to help me! I have a child now!”

His brother stared at him, expression blank and mouth slightly agape. The brush in his hand dripping ink onto a now-wasted piece of paper.

“Huaisang,” he said after a moment. “What the fuck.”

Nie Huaisang nodded furiously.

“Where did you get – how – who – what did you do?!”

“I am currently unable to disclose any details,” Nie Huaisang said promptly even as his brother tossed aside the brush and got up, striding over with a storm brewing in his face. “All I can say is that I have to raise this child now. By which I mean, you have to help me raise this child now; I can’t raise children! I’m not mature enough to raise a child!”

“No kidding! Why would someone entrust – to you…” Nie Mingjue trailed off, looking down at the child with a frown that shifted from disbelieving irritation to concern. He pressed his hand to the child’s forehead. “Huaisang, this child has a high fever. We need to get him to the medical wing at once – is that blood?”

“Not his, I don’t think?”

“I don’t want to know,” his brother decided. “Move.”

Some time later, they were both sitting next to the bed in one of the spare rooms in the family quarters; Nie Huaisang thought it might even have been the same one that he’d used when he was very young. A-Yuan was sleeping, and Nie Mingjue was still holding his little hand in his own, having been clocked as the oversize comfort animal that he not-so-secretly was from the very first moment A-Yuan laid eyes on him.

The doctors had declared A-Yuan’s fever to be very severe, but they had applied plenty of medicine – the Lan sect might have more esoteric healing techniques, but there wasn’t anything like the Nie sect when it came to standard medicine for injuries and illnesses associated with the battlefield, and despite A-Yuan’s tender age Nie Huaisang would be willing to bet that his injuries were from a battlefield. They were confident that A-Yuan would make a full recovery, body and mind both intact, although they warned that his memory of the past might be impacted.

Nie Huaisang had thought about all that blood that wasn’t his, of Lan Wangji pale-faced and wild-eyed, and decided that a little bit of forgetting might not be so bad after all.

“Are you going to tell me anything more,” his brother said after a while. “Or should I just give up now?”

Nie Huaisang leaned over and patted his knee. “It’s good that you know your limitations.”

His brother rolled his eyes.

“I can’t believe this is my life,” he remarked.

“What part?” Nie Huaisang asked, curious. “The fact that we have a kid now, because obviously we’re keeping him? Or the fact that someone gave a kid to me?”

“Both,” his brother decided. “Definitely both.”

“His name’s A-Yuan,” Nie Huaisang said. “Apparently.”

“Well,” his brother said. “Obviously that won’t do.”

Nie Huaisang had the ability to be sneaky when he wanted to be. It wasn’t a matter of stealth, he had explained to his brother, but sneakiness– a completely different concept. Stealth suggested that he was doing something to conceal himself and required skills and talent, or else a lot of practice, and obviously Nie Huaisang was not going to go in for either of those.

Sneakiness, though…

He didn’t need people not to be able to see him in order to be sneaky. He just needed them not to care about him, or wonder where he was.

“Psst,” he said, knocking on the window to the rooms where Lan Wangji was purportedly practicing seclusion. “Psst! Lan Zhan!”

Lan Wangji had given him a child. They were definitely past the ‘Lan-er-gongzi’ stage.

“Lan Zhan!” he rapped at the window with his fan. “We need a courtesy name!”

There was some sounds from within the jingshi, mostly stumbling around. Nie Huaisang waited patiently, and after a few moments the window opened and Lan Wangji stared out at him. He was as pale as a ghost with lips as red as blood, and very clearly not in seclusion at all, but rather in the midst of healing whatever wounds had left him bloody – he probably shouldn’t have gotten out of bed to answer.

Oh, well. Too late for regret now.

“You shouldn’t be here,” Lan Wangji said, voice dull and eyes blank as he stared at Nie Huaisang. It was unclear if he meant in the Cloud Recesses generally, or here in particular, interrupting his ‘seclusion’.

“Didn’t you hear me?” Nie Huaisang said, scowling at him. “We need a courtesy name! A courtesy name for the child, you hear me? You know, of course, that Qinghe Nie don’t use personal names, not even for children – certainlynot for children older than their first year. It’d be a complete giveaway that he’s not organically ours if we call him something like A-Yuan.”

Lan Wangji raised a hand to pinch his nose. “Please go away.”

“Courtesy name, Lan Zhan. I mean, I may be the one who’ll be raising him, but please think carefully: do you really want meto be the one naming him?”

“…call him Sizhui.”

“Sizhui,” Nie Huaisang repeated. “With the characters…?”

Lan Wangji nodded.

“Uh, no,” Nie Huaisang said. “I need a bettercourtesy name. Are you joking?”

“Nie Huaisang. Go away.”

“But –”

Lan Wangji slammed the window shut.

“…fine,” Nie Huaisang said to the closed window. “Be that way, see if I care. Not like we don’t need to build up a decent coparenting relationship or anything eventually.”

He thought he heard a choking sound from behind the door and smirked.

“Don’t you think you can baby-trap me and just walk away, Lan Zhan,” he said in his best ominous tone. “If you wanted someone to raise your kid without ever consulting you again, you should’ve dropped him off in the Lotus Pier with Jiang Cheng, who’d probably be too busy being confused to even question where he came frome – but no. You came to me. I don’t make decisions in the best of times, least of all good. I have questions. A lot of questions.”

He thought about it for a moment.

“Not about how you got him or anything like that,” he said. “I’m not stupid, I can tell a secret when I see one. But, you know, other types of questions. Parenting stuff. Are you a ‘go sit and think about what you’ve done’ sort of parent? Or more traditional discipline, with copying lines and occasionally strikes when they’re naughty? Do you want him to learn the Lan sect rules along with the Nie sect principles –”

There was a muffled sound from inside the house.

It sounded angry.

“…we can talk about it later,” Nie Huaisang decided. He might’ve pushed his luck a bit too much. “Talk later!”

“You have a…what?” Lan Xichen asked, his smile a little fixed and stare a little wilder than normal.

“A nephew!” Nie Mingjue gushed. “Isn’t he wonderful?”

“Nephew.”

“He’s so well behaved, too! He plays quietly by himself most of the time, drawing and even writing a little, and Huaisang’s already teaching him how to play the dizi –”

“When you say nephew, do you mean Nie Huaisang’s child?”

“Do I have other brothers?” Nie Mingjue rolled his eyes at him. “He’s obviously not yours. Anyway, I know Meng Yao is expecting one, too, but he wouldn’t be dressed in Nie colors if it was his, would it?”

“Yes, but…are you telling me that…that Nie Huaisang…”

“It’s a battlefield child, Xichen,” Nie Mingjue said patiently. “Obviously. Someone entrusted him to Huaisang.”

“Oh,” Lan Xichen said, looking relieved. “Yes, that makes more sense…wait.”

Nie Mingjue waited.

“Someone entrusted him to Nie Huaisang?”

“I know, right?” Nie Mingjue said, and Lan Xichen didn’t notice how strained his grin had suddenly become, or how thoughtful his eyes were as he surveyed Lan Xichen as if trying to find an answer to a question. “I would’ve assumed they’d go for someone more responsible, like you. Guess you never know…”

“I guess you don’t,” Lan Xichen agreed, looking down at the child with a bemused expression. A battlefield child, entrusted to Nie Huaisang… “They must have been truly driven to desperation.”

“Perhaps,” Nie Mingjue said, and then changed the subject to little Nie Sizhui’s accomplishments, of which he could list many at great length and very great enthusiasm. By the time he was done with that, Ln Xichen was so overwhelmed that he didn’t ask a single other question.

“So I’ve got an idea on how to do this whole co-parenting thing,” Nie Huaisang said, cracking nuts to eat. He was sitting next to Lan Wangji’s bedside, and dropping the shells straight on the floor, too, staring dead-eyed at Lan Wangji as if daring him to say something – which he wouldn’t, of course. “Since with Sizhui starting classes soon it’s become much more urgent, on account of me needing you to attend meetings with his teachers and discuss his progress.”

Lan Wangji looked deeply long-suffering. He’d only invited Nie Huaisang inside because Nie Huaisang had threatened to start shouting out his business loudly on account of oh but Lan Zhan, how was I to know if you could hear me in there, I just had to raise my voice just in case because I wouldn’t want you to miss any of the extremelyimportant news –

It was all Lan Wangji’s fault for being born earlier than Nie Huaisang, Nie Huaisang thought virtuously. It was merely Nie Huaisang’s lot in life to fulfill the role of annoying younger brother to everyone.

“See, it’s the music,” Nie Huaisang continued. “You do music, right?”

Lan Wangji’s ice-cold glare suggested that he did, in fact, ‘do music’.

“So your brother has been playing this song for da-ge on a regular basis,” Nie Huaisang explained, ignoring the glare entirely. “And when he’s not available, which is most of the time nowadays, he’s been sending san-ge instead. Even though, of course, poor san-ge’s so busy back at Lanling all the time…ughh, it’s so unfair, you know! Poor san-ge has to do all the work of being the heir and gets none of the benefits, and they pile even more work on him on top of that – really, he gets no respect.”

Lan Wangji’s expression suggested he didn’t care.

“And think about the inconvenience to us!” Nie Huaisang sallied forth, undeterred. “People coming and going all the time, da-ge having to interrupt his schedule of spending quality time with me and Sizhui – and sect leader work, of course, though that’s less important – in order to march over to greet them and host them and listen to them…what a pain it is!”

Lan Wangji appeared on the verge of suggesting that Nie Huaisang consider getting to the point.

“So you should come do it instead.”

Lan Wangji’s expression cracked, suggesting that Nie Huaisang had actually managed to make an impact.

“You remember,” he said, voice low and a little hoarse from all that refusing to speak he’d been doing. Really, if Nie Huaisang wasn’t around to goad him into it, he might’ve lost the voice entirely – he didn’t even have little Sizhui around to force him to speak! “That I’m in seclusion. Right?”

“You’re horribly lonely is what you are,” Nie Huisang said briskly. “You require company. Therefore, coming to take up a semi-permanent posting in the Unclean Realm to play the Song of Clarity for my brother morning, noon, and night is clearly the finest way to solve all of our problems, and for you to see little Sizhui as often as you like.”

Lan Wangji visibly wavered. “My brother,” he said, then coughed. “My brother will never believe it.”

“That’s your problem,” Nie Huaisang said. “Find a way to sell it.”

He stood, shaking the remaining shells onto the chair.

“See you in Qinghe soon, Lan Zhan..!”

Lan Wangji was trying to kill him with his mind, Nie Huaisang thought happily as he wandered off with a whistle and a vaguely silly expression. Good – he’d been inside for too long. He needed the stimulation.

“Truly,” Nie Mingjue remarked, strolling around their gardens without any apparent notice of the small child perched on his shoulders, giggling wildly at the feeling of being tall, “I feel far better than I did before! One can scarcely compare it – night and day, really. Your Lan sect’s Song of Clarity is a marvel, even if it does take a while before it kicks in.”

“Mm,” Lan Wangji said, walking slowly with his hands behind his back. He was still unsteady on his feet on account of the absolutely horrific injuries he’d incurred – but if the Lan sect’s response to everything was seclusion, seclusion, seclusion, then the Nie sect’s equivalent response was exercise. These little excursions through the gardens were the result.

Thus far, they were still only doing laps around the main gardens, but Nie Huaisang had plans to eventually force Lan Wangji to go even as far as his own little side garden. He’d made it through his side door once, after all; why not a second time..?

At any rate, Nie Huaisang still wasn’t quite sure how Lan Wangji had talked Lan Xichen into allowing him to come to the Unclean Realm, but it really did make the whole co-parenting business a lot more convenient. And his brother had had so much fun making Lan Wangji stiff and awkward over all his thanks and praise for his decision to come ‘help out’ with Nie Sizhui’s raising until finally, at last, Nie Huaisang had taken pity and revealed that Nie Mingjue knew perfectly well whose battlefield child this was.

Both in terms of who had gifted him to Nie Huaisang, and who’d adopted him originally, and of course even his original surname – The little tot’s been through enough adoptions to make anyone’s head spin, his brother had said, his voice gruff as always. There’s no point in thinking back too far, is there?

Lan Wangji had been very relieved.

“Run, bobo!” Nie Sizhui cried, pointing over at a bird. “We need to get it for Sang-gege!”

Nie Mingjue snorted like a bull but obediently quickened his feet and left the rest of them behind, heading in full charge straight at the wild pheasant that was far more likely to end up on Nie Huaisang’s plate than in his aviary. It was about even odds which one Nie Sizhui meant, anyway.

“Nie Huaisang,” Lan Wangji said, his voice low, and Nie Huaisang looked at him. “The Song of Clarity does not take time to work. These effects should have happened at once.”

Nie Huaisang opened his fan, hiding his face as he frowned. “How odd,” he said. “And after san-ge put in all that hard work.”

“Perhaps he played it wrong.”

“Odd,” Nie Huaisang said again. “When san-ge gets so very little wrong…has your brother sent any word on the Xue Yang issue?”

“…he has not.”

“He’s going to need to pick a side eventually.”

“He does not want to make things difficult for his sworn brother.”

“Does he have only the one?” Nie Huaisang asked archly, and Lan Wangji averted his gaze. “It’s awkward for us if he doesn’t back us, and is a bad look besides…truly, it’s a wonder that san-ge managed to squeeze out the time to come here.”

Lan Wangji’s frown deepened. “Indeed,” he said. “One would think his father might be tempted to stop him.”

“Wouldn’t you just?” Nie Huaisang said. “Wouldn’t you just…you know, maybe when you’re feeling better, we should go visit Lanling ourselves.”

Lan Wangji glanced at him, arching an eyebrow, and Nie Huaisang smiled, fanning himself casually.

“I’m not the only one with a little side door,” he said. “Let’s go knocking and see what we find, shall we?”

#mdzs #nie huaisang #lan wangji #lan sizhui #nie mingjue #lan xichen #my fic #my fics #little side door

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