#but it doesn't feel accessible

[th3e-m4ng0]

re: that post about the lack of enrichment in trucks

i bring yet another megop au where op is another depressed fellow whose EM field is always emitting gloomy and tired vibes. vs megatron who is at his happiest when hauling materials and messing with his coworkers/friends

they haven't seen each other in years since the war ended and they signed all these treaties and paperwork !

#wip #au #op wonders why he's the only odd one from his peers that feels specially unhappy with his post-war life. he shouldn't. work pays well and h #has a house all by himself. he's not in immediate danger. no one is actively trying to kill each other. has access to energon and treats #his friends are all near him (and yet he doesn't try to contact them bc he might be bothering them) #by all means he should be happy but alas. he is not ! (sadge) #and then megatron's like YEAHH. ROCKS. I HAUL THE MATERIALS. i will dump dirt on top of you if you are distracted. do not try to tip me ove #i will punch you. oh optimus prime? idk he's probably passed away idc. look at this buiding. i'm helping #[truck with Sufficient enrichment vs truck with lack of enrichment]

[akiacia]

the psyche/eros parody in hades style!

#akia art #olba #baxter ward #hades 2 is in early access!!! #tho truthfully i'm waiting on console release bc the switch is more forgiving of my 0 gaming prowess 🤣 this is me living vicariously #bgs and assets are from 1! #i gave up halfway and started using my own style shorthands tbh LMAO this was fun but humbling fr #also writing dialogue for maggie that didn't read dialectically californian was rly uncanny 🤣💀 #meanwhile i just took baxter's from drinks and it doesn't feel out of place at all LOL

[sequencefairy]

Ya know, I was gonna be done. I spent hours yesterday talking friends off ledges when people were harassing them for being excited about the watcher announcement, or when their anxiety ballooned while watching the never-ending fucking tide of absolutely entitled morons kept piling on and on and on and spreading baseless bullshit every where.

But like, I cannot be done.

Because I am just so fucking disappointed. I'm so fucking sad to be sitting here watching people writhe with glee over the reactions to the announcement, and fill their little vengeful mugs in anticipation of watching the fall of a fledgling independent media company they are literally standing around lighting matches to throw onto the pyre.

Y'all make me sick.

You profess to love these guys, to want to see them succeed, to enjoy the stuff they make for you. You beg and demand and scream for more time with Ryan and Shane and bitch constantly during periods of the year when it's not Ghost Files or Puppet History time. You complain to anyone who will listen about how this is a betrayal, as if they're your fuckin' friends who you know personally.

News flash, they're not. They never were. You're parasocially attached to the plush puppet and the guy who sticks his hand up it in a way that is detrimental to your critical thinking skills and you know what? Fucking don't subscribe to the streamer. Who fucking wants you around anyway?

I would bet American cash money that none of you have EVER had to sit with your staff in a meeting and figure out how you were going to keep your company afloat. That none of you have ever had to decide to take a risk like this, in this kind of economic climate and be cautiously excited about what it might mean for you and then to have this absolute viciousness being the response.

I'm really sorry that for some people the price is just out of their reach. I completely understand wanting to join in on something and being unable to because of the money. The amount of times I've had to say no to doing something fun because I just didn't have the cash is not a small amount. It sucks. It really sucks.

But you know, the emotionally mature response to not being able to afford something is to be like, well is there a way that I can save up for this? Something else I can cut out? And if the answer is no, then, unfortunately, sometimes, you just have to be left out. This is a fact of life.

Do you people also get bitchy with artists who charge commission prices that mean they can afford to live?

The comparisons of Watcher to non-network television streamers are laughable. Like, Watcher is absolutely not on the same level of operating profitability as other streaming services. They are an independent production studio that gives a shit about making content that they like to make and taking care of their employees and the other people who are associated with them. And in order for them to continue to make the stuff we like (Ghost Files, Puppet History, et al), we're gonna have to buy-in.

Seeing people say with their full chests that they should just fire people? Are you fucking hearing yourselves? Who should they fire? Their queer employees? The people who write and do sound and edit? The people who make Ghost Files or Puppet History look the way it looks? The people who are the reason the shows work?

And, I'm sorry, but if you think that the solution here is that they should just ... make worse shows, I don't even know what to say to you at all. Sorry that Steven and Ryan and Shane wanna do more than lifeless unsolved copies for the rest of their lives. Go watch fucking unsolved if you want that, watcher has always wanted to do more, do better, make bigger things. And you know what? They are for sure allowed to do that.

I am also utterly enraged by the racism. I cannot even imagine what it's like to be any Watcher employee of colour today, watching the hate and the cruelty roll in. Y'all are just fucking mean, and gross, and I hope you all walk on legos in the dark in bare feet.

Everyone who is acting like this is some fucking personal betrayal needs to go smoke a bowl or do a bong rip and chill the fuck out.

#things jess says #i did not sleep for shit last night #i am exhausted #i am sad #i am disappointed #i am enraged by the racism #by the way that people are out here being their worst selves over six fucking dollars #over some videos they feel entitled to because they were once accessible for free #breaking news but shit costs money #i'm sorry you live in a fantasy land where it doesn't #it must be really nice

[scribefindegil]

Obsessed with the POV choice in Imperial Radch as well, both because Leckie does some really wild stuff with how expansive the strict first-person is able to become due to the worldbuilding and who her narrator is, and because it's SO entangled with the central thematic concepts of identity. In the first book flashbacks when the narrator is still a warship, "I" can encompass so many things, and sometimes explicitly refers to different facets in the narration--is "I" Justice of Toren, or One Esk, or a specific segment, or Breq narrating from twenty years in the future? "I" isn't simple, isn't unified, and while this is most literal and obvious with Breq/One Esk/Justice of Toren and Anaander Mianaai's split factions it's true constantly throughout the work at every level of scope. Individual characters struggle with internal conflicts and hit their breaking points--what is it that makes someone decide they have to disobey orders and make a stand or they won't be themself anymore? How do you know who you are if you've been forcibly changed (Tisarwat) or if the world you knew has moved on and become unrecognizable (Seivarden)? How does a character on a colonized world navigate the split identity that comes from the pressure to assimilate to the dominant culture? And then there's the Radch writ large, all the Radchaai so deeply invested in the idea that there is only one true concept of Radchaai society, of civilization, but of course there isn't! It changes based on location and over time, and Breq muses that the Radchaai empire would be largely unrecognizable to the isolated sphere of the Radch itself. In these books, even if you aren't the last remnant of a destroyed spaceship and its legion of bodies, "I" is such a complicated concept and the narrative never lets you forget it.

#imperial radch #i looooove it #first-person but Let's Make It Weird #and that's not even touching on the way Breq can get data from Mercy of Kalr once she's captain #so as long as Ship is watching she can see third-person-style scenes with her crew #and has access to their biometric data #so she can see what they're doing and make guesses about how they're feeling #but sometimes she's very very wrong! #('Seivarden doesn't love me.' girl please.) #and how that's ALSO tangled up in The Themes #because she's not a ship anymore! she only has one human brain so she can only pay attention to one thing at a time #can only watch one scene playing out; can't process all the data that Ship's collecting #can't swap out bodies when she's tired or regulate her own emotions or hold herself or sing with herself #and it reminds her of everything she's lost and it breaks her heart! #but it would also break her heart to give it up.

[canisalbus]

Vasco and Machete are absolutely adorable, your style is so lovely and you draw the softest beds I’ve ever seen in any art ever

.

#thank you! #softest beds is a whole new compliment that's so sweet #let me go off on a weird and personal tangent for a minute #I've always found the concept of sleeping very touching somehow #it's this mandatory resting period literally everyone has to plan their life around no one has the power to avoid sleeping #if you neglect it your mind and body start to break down very quickly #sleep is such a neutral state of being no one is particularly sad or happy or evil or good while they're asleep they're just logged off #sleeping feels nice it's rejuvenating it's one of the few universal pleasures every single person has an access to #and I find it terribly cute how people have different little bedtime rituals #socks on socks off various pillow and blanket arrangements certain sounds that make them sleepy etc #and sleeping next to someone is such an act of trust #it's extremely intimate as is sex doesn't necessarily have to factor into it #getting comfortable and going unconscious with someone at the same place at the same time that just touches my heart #especially if you're invited into their bed which is a very private space a person's own little nest where the world can't reach them #even if you fall asleep in public transport there's this vulnerability to it and for the most part people respect the sanctity of sleep #and tend to leave sleeping people alone at least in my limited experience #I like drawing my characters sleeping because it feels like I'm doing them a favor granting them a little respite #anonymous #answered

[anti-ao3]

society: why are so many young ppl developing eating disorders and other mental illnesses???

also society: you will only be truly happy if you lose weight/if you're skinny! that's self-care! 😘

#the mental health tag on tumblr is filled with the same skinny white women going to the gym every single day #and btw i know the gym itself isn't the problem #exercising isn't the problem #it's how society romanticizes it for the sake of losing weight #they say it's not about 'aesthetics' but it's still definitely about body image lol #also i feel like they exclude disabled ppl who aren't able to exercise #or can't afford a gym or doesn't have access to one #it's still fucking ableist!!!! #lotus.txt #ableism tw #fatphobia tw #ranting #ranting in tags

[becca-e-barnes]

Don't tell anyone but I love the thought of pornstar Bucky's girl asking to do livestreams with him. The thought of him taking the chat's lead?? Or reading the filthy things they're saying?? 🤤

"They're making fun of you, sweetheart." Bucky teases between chaste kisses placed to the soft inside of your spread thighs.

'Is she wet already?' The most recent message in the chat makes you squirm in your seat. Not that you're getting very far. Bucky is quite well known for his skills with a rope but he's left you just enough wiggle room that you can still grind your cunt desperately against the chair beneath you. It's not much relief but it's something.

"Of course she's wet already. Aren't you, baby? It doesn't take our girl long to get herself all worked up when she knows she's being watched." Bucky smirks up at you, his fingers trailing over the slick lace of your panties, gathering just enough of your arousal on his fingertips to show the camera.

'Our girl' doesn't sit right with you but you know it's all for show. You're his girl. Only his. Those people watching on the stream, whoever they are, mean nothing to you. You know he'll remind you of that later too. Reminding you that you're 'his girl', holding your chin so he can look into your eyes while he slides every inch of his length home over and over.

You whimper at the flood of messages into the chat as your viewers respond to the crystal clear evidence of your arousal on your partner's fingers.

'Fuck, she's making a mess.' 'Always such a good girl.' 'What I'd give to be able to taste her.'

The comments run up the screen so quickly you don't have time to read them all.

'She's so desperate, what a good little slut.' 'You've hardly even touched her and I'm already hard.'

"You're right, I haven't really touched her much, have I?" Bucky asks while reaching over for the wand vibrator he'd picked out for this stream. He clicks it on and the toy buzzes to life.

He seems satisfied with the lowest setting for now. Not that you are. That setting is almost always just for warm-up and that's not what you need in that moment.

"Please." You whine, tugging against the restraints, only feeling satisfied when your partner presses the soft, silicone tip to your clit, over your panties.

Everything feels heightened despite the low setting. You've been so turned on for so long that anything at all is welcome.

'Such a pretty little thing.' 'She sounds so hot when she whines like that.'

You hadn't even noticed yourself whining, much less the way you tried to grind yourself pathetically on the toy, trying to feel more than the featherlight touch Bucky was offering you.

You felt Bucky flicking the toy up a speed, startled by the groan that left your own throat. It sounded desperate. It was filthy and unrestrained and totally shameless.

"You like that?" Bucky's voice was all that could tear you out of your own head. He rolled the head of the toy in vertical motions, laughing quietly to himself when the sensation made you gasp.

'She's so loud tonight.'

The commenter wasn't wrong. You knew you were louder than usual, a testament to just how much you found yourself enjoying this.

"Sit still, sweetheart." You hadn't really registered what was happening until after it was done, although you'd agreed it beforehand anyway. Bucky carefully tugged the side of your underwear away from your skin, cutting the lace and then mirrored his actions on the other side. With the pretty blue lace in tatters, your sex was fully on display.

Bucky pulled the fabric free from underneath you, balling it up in his hand before pressing it to your lips.

"Good girl. Take it." You hadn't expected this. Automatically, brattiness takes over, your defiant natures tells you not to do as you're told. You hold out for a second, up until the toy clicks up one more speed and when you gasp in surprise, the panties are pushed past your lips, resting heavily on your tongue and you get to enjoy the taste of your own arousal.

#becca's thots #becca writes spice #ps!bucky #bucky barnes smut #Bucky Barnes x reader smut #I have to watch 8 hours of class before tomorrow #thank god I have the option to play the videos at 1.5x speed #I'm desperate for an interesting module #just one #last week I was writing my equality law essay #this week it's mediation #pls let me go back to contracts or something #I have class from 9-5 Monday to Friday this week #with work meetings to fit in around that. and a conference. and some finalising for a week of events that I've planned. #and if anyone ever tries to tell me that postgrad courses are accessible to part time students ever again #I'm showing them this module #BECAUSE AS A PART TIME STUDENT #THIS DOESN'T FEEL VERY PART TIME #I just need somewhere to complain about this so it's going in my tags and then I'll shut tf up about it #I had the most interesting conversation this week #where someone said 'my parents love that you know exactly what you want' #and if that's the impression I give I have terribly misled people #I know what I want to do with my life but this masters won't get me any closer to that career #and spite is lowkey all that's motivating me to finish it

[hephaestuscrew]

I'm still thinking about that scene in Victoriocity S3E7 where Fleet runs back towards the Beast so as to lure it into the path of the train...

Clara's exclamation of 'Teamwork, Fleet!' after Fleet says he's got a plan reflects her conviction that any plan that Fleet has will be a shared plan, something they do together.

This conviction is a kind of trust, and that trust is part of the reason Clara takes a moment to realise Fleet has headed back towards the Beast. She trusts that he's following behind her. She keeps talking to him, her words full of optimism.

When she realises Fleet isn't there, she immediately realises what that must mean he's done, and her voice sounds more small and scared than I think we've ever heard it before.

Fleet's attempt at self-sacrifice is a kind of betrayal of Clara's trust, but when he echoes her celebration of their teamwork in a more somber tone, I think it suggests that he understands the weight of that betrayal.

If Fleet's plan is that Clara won't realise he's gone until it's already too late, then he thinks "Teamwork, Clara" will be the last words he'll ever speak to her. In what he imagines will be their final conversation, Fleet affirms Clara's understanding of them as a team who work well together, even as he is making a choice that rejects the possibility of their teamwork in this scenario. It's a recognition of what their dynamic has meant. It's a goodbye and an apology, even if Clara doesn't understand it as such at first.

I don't think Fleet sounds scared as he initially faces down the train. When he shouts "Yeah, this way, you stupid machine! Come on then!", he sounds defiant and grimly determined.

In fact, I don't think he sounds afraid until Clara appears, until she might be at risk of being in the path of the Beast or the train as well. It's when he shouts "Clara, stay back for God's sake!" and "Please, get back!" that there's real fear and desperation in his voice. He can confront the idea of giving his own life, but not the idea that doing so might put Clara in danger.

Another thing about these lines is that the move from 'stay back' to 'get back' suggests that Clara didn't obey his first instruction but got closer to him (and therefore to the path of the Beast and the train) between those two lines.

Then Fleet gives what might be another attempt at his last words: "I'm sorry! I'm sorry."  A repeated apology before an attempted self-sacrifice is an implicit acknowledgement of how much losing him would hurt Clara. He regrets causing her pain.

Even so, he's accepted that he is about to die and that it'd be worth it to destroy the Beast. But Clara very much hasn't accepted either those things. She's still trying to yell over the noise of the train; she's pulling off her ring to throw at him.

I think it's a good illustration of how Clara's optimism is a kind of strength. She always believes that they can "make a new plan" and that it'll be one in which no one has to die. I think Archibald Fleet needs someone like that, someone who'll tell him to drop to the ground when his death advances from both sides, someone who - even in a dark tunnel with an murderous metal monster and a speeding train - won't stop shouting that there's hope.

#Victoriocity #victoriocity spoilers #clara entwhistle #archibald fleet #I have feelings about them!! #I've listened to this scene a normal number of times... #Can't decide if it's more angsty if Clara heard his apology or if she didn't... #Also on the topic of Clara's optimism #I think it is a part of her temperament #but I don't think that means it's always easy or that it isn't something that takes active effort #The 'midnight overthinkies' scene showed us that there's a lot going on under the surface #As previously established I don't personally see Clara and Fleet romantically #but nonetheless there is something Orpheus and Eurydice #about two people who care deeply about each other #in a dark tunnel trying to head towards safety #and one of them trusts that the other is behind them #except Clara doesn't look back for a while and then he actually is already gone #and she's alone wondering if she's lost him forever #I think I can draw those parallels platonically #Oh also there's something impressive about a show that can literally raise a guy from the dead in the first season #and yet still have real stakes when he's in life or death situations after that #something deeply sinister about how in Even Greater London no death ever needs to be permanent #but we know that the vast majority of deaths would be because access to that technology is so restricted #inspector fleet #victoriocity season 3 #victoriocity podcast #Clara & Fleet #The empty man posteth

[transgender-chiroptera]

Can you share some of your favorite bat facts? I wanna add more to my lil arsenal of cool random facts. :]

Of course! Apologies for the late response, I saw this at like 1am four days ago, forgot everything I knew about bats, and then fell asleep and only remembered I even got this ask today. Anyways! Some bat facts :)

Common Vampire bats are some of my absolute favourites, mostly because of their ability to run on the ground! They can gallop with their forelimbs and take off from the ground by leaping into the air and catapulting themselves with their wings, which is speculated to be how Pterodactyls took off as well! Most bats cannot take off from the ground, and must be elevated to take flight, so this is pretty cool. Makes sense too, since they mostly feed from the ankles of large mammals and so need ground maneuverability!

Here's a video of a vamp taking off, and here's a video of one walking around! I think their skittery movements and lil' faces are just the CUTEST, but I know I'm probably in the minority there. Also there's a large dish of blood in the second video, so fair warning there!

All three true Vampire bats have evolved special grooves in their mouths in order to act as a gutter of sorts to funnel the blood into their mouths, but the exact arrangement differs between them. The Hairy-Legged Vampire bat has a groove along the roof of the mouth, whereas the White-Winged and Common Vampire bats have lingual grooves under the tounge! Speaking of White-Winged Vampire bats, they're the only bats in the world with 22 teeth, for some reason (likely no reason since the molars are vestigial), AND they have scent glands in their mouths that might be used to deter predators. Pretty cool stuff!

Finally, all three species of true Vampire Bats are cute as hell. Look at these lil' guys!!

(left to right- White-winged, Hairy-legged, and Common Vampire bats!)

#idk why the vampire theme these guys are just always on the brain. I love them so much #they aren't scary at all! being a hematophage doesn't automatically make a creature scary or bad in any way #No worse than being a carnivore. the blood to blood contact makes them vectors for disease but that's not their fault #besides so would being carnivorous if they didn't have to kill their prey most of the time lol #I love and appreciate these beasts. They have an important place in the ecosystem and should be respected. the best that can be done #to mitigate the diseases they are vectors for are vaccination efforts and improved accessibility to healthcare #but that's a wholee other discussion lol. hate that i feel the need to go on the defensive when saying i like an animal I'm passionate abou #ANYWAYS tag ramble over. thank you for the ask!!! always love an excuse to talk about bats haha #ask #raybytheway #bat #common vampire bat #white-winged vampire bat #hairy-legged vampire bat

[shit-my-asexual-friend-says]

So, I recently reblogged a post about the asexual experience and realized that my addition was twice as long as the two other comments combined. This feels a little weird, since of the three posters, I am the one who is not asexual.

However, I am fairly confident that I know why.

The asexual community is regularly shunted to the side in other sex-positivity and queer-positivity movements, which is horrible. One of the side-effects of this, though, is that allosexuals who experience these same types of love and lifestyles - for example, my own bisexual queerplatonic ass - are not only shunted to the side, but basically invisible to the community at large. This isn't just harmful to me. If you read the post, I talk about @why-are-the-allos-like-this and my's shared experience of feeling that our relationship is lesser than any romantic relationship I might be a part of. Which is bullshit. It's not.

Love is love is kind of the slogan of the entire Queer community, but I know I'm not the only one who has had this experience. So I'm telling it to everyone: love is love is a radical idea. Love is love applies to everyone. It applies to me as a bisexual woman who is in love with a man; my love for him does not negate my bisexuality. It applies to me as an allosexual person who is in a queerplatonic relationship; my asllosexuality doesn't destroy that relationship.

When you shunt one part of the community to the side - asexuals, bisexuals, whichever trans identity we're villainizing today (it's always somebody), people who have detransitioned but remain allies, literally anyone - you are erasing a lot more experiences than the ones you have decided are lesser or unimportant. You're also erasing the ones that you literally do not know exist, because you never made a space for them.

To be clear, it is correct and important to give special attention to people who are going through specific extreme challenges. It is also important not to pretend that all of our challenges are the same; I have never faced violence in the way the trans women I know have, for example. Amplifying voices that need amplifying does not need to come with a side dish of invalidating and shouting down the voices that you don't think need amplifying.

#Shout out to: #Trans women who are currently under another fucking wave of accusations #Trans men who are currently being loudly told that they do not actually experience oppression because they are not women #Asexual people who are treated as second class citizens in most queer-friendly spaces because of the overwhelming focus on sex #People who do not know how to self-describe because they were systematically denied access to education #People who are not trans but were pressured to transition and have since detransitioned #Trans people (especially butch lesbians or former butch lesbians) who felt like transitioning would betray some cause #People who are currently in the closet and plan to stay that way long-term #People who experience queerness in a way that doesn't feel as life-altering as it is for the people around you so you keep quiet #queer culture #queer solidarity #asexual #bisexual #queerplatonic relationships #queerplatonic

[charleezard]

Can I just say that, as a society, we need to do better in supporting and accepting disabled people when they aren't "aesthetic" or "convenient enough".

If you have incontinence and need to wear diapers, if you are depressed and sometimes can't shower for 2 months straight, if you have POTS and need to lay down in the middle of the supermarket, if you're autistic and sometimes you have loud stims or meltdowns, if you have memory loss for any reason and need to be told things multiple times, if you're HoH and need people to repeat themselves or speak slower or communicate in a different way, if you have a colostomy bag, or any of the many other ways disabilities can manifest. You're valid and you deserve love. You deserve to be accomodated, and you deserve to be surrounded by people who understand you and include you and treat you with respect and dignity.

I just want to tell y'all that I love you. If you're disabled and you'd like to use this post to talk about any aspect or symptom you wish people would be more accepting of, feel free. I won't judge you and I am always happy to learn more about others and how I can be more inclusive in my own life

#disability #activism #inclusion #inclusivity #accessibility #neurodivergent #im just saying disability doesn't need to be pretty and palatable to deserve accomodation and inclusion and acceptance #idk what else to tag it with but feel free to go wild with that

[br1ghtestlight]

bob's burgers is like the opposite of those cartoon network or disney shows that are explictly written for kids but have a few darker scenes so everyone is like "omg there's no way this was meant for kids!!!1!!1" in that its an Adult animated sitcom on a network for adults and airs alongside adult tv shows like the simpsons and family guy but people keep trying to say it's a family-friendly show and totally made for kids bcuz it doesn't have excessive shock humor or swearing or gore. u can tell the intended audience isn't children bcuz they exclusively make pop culture references to middle aged dad movies from the 80s and 90s

#I do think it's mostly fine for anyone over the age of like nine or ten to watch. maybe even younger #depends on the episode #but calling it a kid-friendly show feels like a bit of a stretch lmao #and being somewhat appropriate for kids viewing doesn't mean its accessible for them on a humor or storyline level #(kinda. it's a complicated situation bcuz of how it is written now) #bob's burgers #txt

[super-paper]

is this too soon.

#mha spoilers #spoilers #it needs to be stressed that I don't think he's dead or going to die but that doesn't mean i'm not gonna have fun with toshibomb #my thoughts rn is that this is a set up for Toshi to gain access to the OFAFO vestige realm through a temporary death #Like... I kinda feel like he needs to hear NANA telling him to live because she and gran torino both enabled a lot of his issues #and he also needs to be there for Izuku's "I am here moment'' which I've always expected was gonna be in the vestige realm-- #--as a deeply personal/private moment between Tenko and Izuku rather than a bold announcement to the world #we shall see! #yagi toshinori #my hero academia #dank mha meems #god melissa would be fucking devastated though. like bro she built that to protect you. she's watching this on live stream. 😭

[damnation-if]

Hi, I just played the demo and I loved it! I was wondering if you could give us an estimate of when the next update is coming?👉👈 (Or link a relevant post, if you already talked about and I just didn't scroll down far enough to see it 😆)

Also, I wanted to check, can you be in a romantic relationship with more than one character, and not just a sexual one? Because I might be in love with every single character in this game 🤭

hi, thank you! i'm glad you're enjoying the game :) i've answered the question about romancing multiple characters a couple of times in a couple of different asks but the posts all kind of link back to each other so you should be able to find all the info by. following the various links in each ask i think, starting here XD

i'm going to put the answer to your other question under a cut because some of it is quite emotional for me

i did Sort Of talk about this at the time when it happened, by which i mean that rather than making a post, i talked about it in the tags of an unrelated post i was using to distract myself (i think it was character playlists and how i'm not sure if it's a good idea to do them or not if i recall), but earlier this year while i was already going through a really rough time, my laptop died and i lost a lot of work on the game.

i knew my laptop was old and that this was possibly approaching so i made regular backups and the good news is that because i write in a separate word document and keep backups of those also i didn't actually lose any Writing. however. my twine has a problem in that every second or third game file that i publish from the build is Haunted - it contains passages i removed weeks ago, or writing that i deleted long before publishing it, that kind of weird annoying shit. (other authors have seen my files do this lmfao) and i just have to hope that the backups i make either won't be needed or aren't haunted. anyway... because hope is futile, the last backup i made was indeed haunted, and utterly useless to me as a recovery file. because it's just twine, i still have all the writing, as i mentioned... but i would have to re-code the entire chapter and put it all back together again because of how much the file did not export, which is a complicated and daunting process.

so i made a rambling explanation of this in the tags of a post and decided to take maybe a couple of days off and cool down from this specific disaster before getting into it.

i wake up the next morning to find the IF community absolutely plastered all over with Helpful Informative PSA posts about how Silly it is not to make backups and how if you just make backups you'll never have problems again and you should know better than to not make backups.

now. i'm not a catastrophist. i know for a fact that nobody was making or spreading these posts out of cruelty or a desire to make me feel bad. i also know that it's not particularly realistic to expect people who don't even know me to hunt down the source of a piece of hearsay that's like "i heard from someone that someone said that an author lost a bunch of their files and is really upset about it" to find out what the situation is and whether or not it's what they imagine. i don't even think the vast majority of people knew who it was that was the author involved, or who i am either.

but to already be going through an extremely stressful time and then lose my laptop on top of that and then be obliquely referenced by people i thought of as my peers as kind of just a big silly bumbling goose who didn't know how to manage my files and a "don't be like this person" attitude really, really hurt me. i can't express just how deeply it hurt me. one particular author was openly laughing at me and saying it was my own fault for being too stupid to make backups using a certain twine peripheral program.

so. there was a period of time where i could have found the motivation to just restart the whole chapter myself and re-code it in a frenzy because i wanted to get right back into writing it because. like a lot of authors, i LOVE writing. that's why i do this even when it's difficult. but that potential recovery was sandblasted away by the reactions of people that i thought of as my colleagues in some sense (even though i understand that they didn't do it with bad intentions, in most cases). and i hope people can understand that it greatly lengthened the amount of time i needed to spend away from the game recovering emotionally, despite being a Very Small issue to most people. i'm literally upset again just typing out this answer lmfao

however one other small piece of good news is that my laptop seemingly just lost the ability to turn itself on (because of its age) so i Think the hard drive is intact. meaning that i think i can get someone to pull all the files off it and just have them back fine once i do. the other piece of bad news is that my life is a trainwreck! and i cannot afford that right now. which is why i sort of pivoted to writing the 2000 follower celebration sidegame as a way to enjoy myself while i hurtle through hell sdjgbdfhfdgh

shortly after this thing with the laptop the house i was living in was sold out from underneath me, even though it wasn't supposed to be, and i had to find somewhere to live with my 18 year old cat, but the city i lived in had zero places that would allow cats (they're totally fine with Dogs though of course) so i had to move to an entirely new city on my own while worrying about her health. and right now i spend every fortnight desperately trying to scrape together enough to survive the next fortnight. there were entire months where i had no access to internet! it's been pretty Bad!!

so i get that people really want updates, and i'm really flattered that people do and it makes me happy that people like the game so much. but i am currently expending so much time and energy trying not to die lmfao, and i need to save up the money to get my files back around that. i truly cannot tell you when the next update will be, but i promise you that it Haunts me, probably more than you can imagine XD the sidegame will Definitely come out before it though, if that's something you're looking forward to.

thank you again for your message, and i'm sorry that i don't have good news for you. but i am trying, constantly. every day.

#what does the chaos mirror see #eternal-flame #i hope it doesn't come across like i'm mad about this question because i'm not<3 #it's just that my life is really terrible! and i constantly feel tense and upset about it! lmfao #i was SO nervous when i published the game for the first time that the build i published would be a haunted one lmfao #literally combing through every single accessible passage with a magnifying glass to make sure it wasn't #would it have been better to get the haunting out of the way with publishing the game or keep it for this backup problem?? i don't know #wish it just wouldn't do it i guess. but then again i haven't noticed it as a problem since getting my new laptop #so hopefully i won't have to worry about it in future #hurgh... still not over this properly i guess lmao

[textiletattoos]

Only the Brave, Eroda and Sweet Creature patches are now available on my site! As always, everything is vegan, biodegradable and as sustainable as possible 🌱

If you buy 3, you get £1.50 (1.89 USD) off each one, which also includes my tote bags 😊

#tell me which one is your fave in the tags!! #praying tumblr doesn't fuck up the quality of these photos #daylight patches are coming next!! #and walls is nearly ready to relaunch #i'm hoping these will be a reasonably priced option #it doesn't feel good to have to choose between accessibility versus sustainability of the products :/ #fuck capitalism honestly! #hljournal #hlcreators #yourlarrysource #ltpolari #1dsource #tracksintheam #fan merch #fan made merch #louis merch #trackinghappily #hldaily #trackinghome #louis fan merch #hlsource #harry styles merch #adore you #eroda #eroda mv #eroda music video #larry stylinson #larry merch #larry stylinson merch #stylesedits

[talentforlying]

tbh i think the coldest and most shocking thing that can happen in an argument with this man is if you call him "john" and he corrects you to "constantine". biggest red flag you can find on the play. sounds pretentious when you're not experiencing it. means he's absolutely fucking furious with you.

#like here's the thing: he's not going to correct you if he doesn't know you or like you. he won't give anyone that power over him #he won't ever let some random jackass know they've gotten under his skin. it's just not worth the effort to him. #so if he's correcting you? it means you know him on a personal level. it means you're at Bare Minimum good friends #and it means he's so fucking angry that he's rescinding your place in his life until the argument is resolved. the castle gates are closed #you are now on professional speaking terms until this is resolved and the professional constantine is a real nasty piece of work #who will not spare your feelings or try to salvage whatever you've built with him. professional constantine wants the job Done #i've talked before about how little effort his father put into naming him after his mum died and how unemotional john's been about it since #and how unique it must feel when someone says 'john' to him with love or care or compassion after a lifetime of hearing it in anything but #like his first name doesn't usually mean a lot to him! its use is not a closely guarded privilege! #but if he cares about you then calling him 'john' can feel as intimate to him as a kiss #and if you burn him he will snatch that level of access away from you for Months. sometimes Years. #so! yeah!! if he ever corrects your name choice in an argument then you've Really Fucked Up Buddy!!!! #( also. hypocrite that he is. if you're on 'john' terms and you call him 'constantine' in an argument FIRST he will be absolutely WOUNDED ) #( and he will cover with that professional veneer. that cold uncaring mask of anger. but it's trapped-cornered-animal anger ) #( it's let-me-cover-this-injury-before-you-can-really-get-your-fingers-in-it defensiveness. and he will be cautiously distant afterwards ) #( headcanons. ) I'M JUST LIKE THE BASTARDS I'VE HATED ALL ME LIFE.