#but it also never feels any harder | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mumblesplash · 1 year

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getting better at drawing when you’re not trying for realism is kinda funny bc it’s like wow now my art looks even MORE like the exact midpoint between old-school disney and late 2010s anime. i didn’t think it was possible and yet i’ve done it again. inspiring

#and soon? even More.#there’s also the additional layer of not being able to explain what about my art is better than it used to be #like idk what to tell u it’s just better now. all my old stuff is crap compared to this. leaps and bounds #source: dude trust me #tbh i think my artistic abilities probably seem much more consistent from an outside pov #bc i never want to draw anything i can’t draw #like if i TRIED to draw that cuteguy stoplight drawing a few months ago it would have looked terrible #but i wouldn’t have tried bc i wouldn’t have wanted to bc i couldn’t you see #that’s the thing about art it never feels any easier #if you start out frustrated by your skill falling short of your vision guess what #your vision will continue to improve as you gain skill and that frustration never goes away #but it also never feels any harder #my first experience with drawing was being pleasantly surprised to find my skill slightly exceeded my aspirations #(i was 3 and my aspirations were draw a duck)#and you know what. to this day the pleasant surprise remains #what i’m saying is dream small stay in your comfort zone and do not strive for great things #cannot recommend complacency enough #this isn’t sports you don’t get gains through effort you get gains and then the effort happens on accident #don’t listen to me i probably don’t know what i’m talking about #but i AM having more fun drawing than you so maybe i’m onto something #impossible to say #i’m certainly not smart enough to figure that out i’m an idiot have you seen the kind of advice i give #mumbling

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chryblossomjjk · 8 months

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#literally this #extremely sad how adhd isn’t recognized n severely underdiagnosed in women #only got diagnosed w it n other things as an adult #n now it’s much harder to develop coping mechanisms but #we move lol #a win is a win #so if u guys are ever wondering why kiki rambles about bs that nobody cares about #n then over thinks n deletes all posts #or is v sensitive #n takes forever to yield any fic bc never satisfied w work #✨adhd brain✨#also friends #gentle reminder to pls advocate for yourself #like you know your body and mind more than anyone #and if you feel like something is lacking or you need help #pls push for it #bc sometimes the healthcare system is #yk #but yeah #it’s super scary but there’s also so much relief in receiving a diagnosis #like you made it this far without knowing #the only thing that changes once you receive the diagnosis is that you have more access to tools than you’ve ever had maybe #yeah #anyways #love you all #n i hope you’re happy and healthy #n i hope you have a support system #and if you don’t currently you will in the future #if you ever need to talk or anything #im here

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arkiwii · 2 months

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very sad still see the saria/silence divorce headcanon still going around

have you ever tried to consider that they never dated before lone trail because it would be unrealistic with the timeline and the events and also because it would be overshadowing the actual truth of why they couldn't get along

#i'll elaborate #firstly it's ok if you headcanon this i don't want to invalidate what people think #it's just that I think it's a fanon joke that have been going around for way too long #and I can't help but shed a small tear when I see people really headcanoning it #I personally think it's way more interesting if we consider that they never had something going on before Lone Trail #mostly because it's weird that they started dating in like some months when they barely knew or saw each other #but also because it adds nothing but just makes things even more harder for them #my personal headcanon is that Silence was maybe having feelings for Saria but like #you know these very premature feelings #like just “oh wow she's pretty and nice”#but nothing like really deep #but they never had anything going on before the diabolic crisis #and after lone trail after they made up and saw each other's true person #they start to actually get real feelings #I'm just complaining but I've been still seeing it around somehow and it's sad to me that this joke became a fact for many people #there's still a lot of fanfics about how they had been dating and now they're on bad terms #I think that going on the “they're exes” route is way too easy and actually hides the potential and interesting reason #of why Silence was mad at Saria #it's not because she hates Saria or blame her #it's because she's mad at herself for being so weak #really making them appear as exes just hides this really interesting truth and makes it all seem to be a sad love story #consider that they never had any of this and that this tension between them is because they blame themselves!!#their story is not a love story but above all a story about self love and acceptance #just my two cents enjoy my rambling i go back to bed now #(not putting this in the main tag I don't want to start a war I'm just rambling)

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transmascutena · 2 months

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thinking about how akio sees his younger self in utena and wondering if there's any fondness there. doesn't change the horror of what he does to her obviously but i do wonder

#akio and utena #m #long ramble in the tags sorry:#the thing about akio is that he's so evil bit he's also so human #he has feelings. i just don't know what they are (if anything) toward his victims #he loves anthy at the very least i'm sure of that. even if he hates her too. just like she loves and hates him. the lines are blurry.#and i just. i have to wonder whether any of that extends to utena at all. we know anthy at times feels similarly about utena and dios #(and akio by extension.) the simultanious love and resentment. so it's not too unlikely i think.#like. even though he never had anything but bad intentions in getting close to her #i'm not sure it's possible to do everything he did and feel nothing #not that he has any meaningful amount of guilt or remorse for it. i don't think that.#and i obviously don't think he “loved” her in any of the ways she might have thought he did #but did he not care at all? did he not feel any kind of fondness or sympathy or just. idk. pity? for her?#whatever the case it wasn't enough to reconsider having her killed so you know. how much does that actually matter anyway #idk. i think about it a lot. how abusers are rarely entirely indifferent toward their victims #the role he's playing in her life is so fucked up but it IS a role he's playing and i wonder how much he you know... internalizes it?#how much does he believe the illusion of family that he invites her into? because akio DOES often buy into his own illusions.#(similarly i think it's possible that akio is fond of touga too. their mentor-protégé relationship is horrible and abusive #but that doesn't make it less real. you know? maybe real is the wrong word.)#when he talks in episode 25 about wanting utena and anthy closer that's obviously so he can continue to groom her #but is there something genuine there too? i don't know.#again. it obviously does not make anything he does better or even different. but it is interesting to think about to me.#on the other side of that coin does seeing his own past youth and naivete and desire to do good that he (maybe) once had #reflected back at him through her mean anything?#is there resentment there? that she is what he couldn't be? or more likely he just thinks that idealism is stupid.#either way it's something he wants to take from her. anyway ramble over.#i talk a lot about utena's feelings toward akio (familial vs romantic love and the way the two are intertwined in fucked up ways)#but not much the other way around. probably because utena is actually a sympathetic character whose feelings the show very clearly #wants you to analyze and think about.#which is... less true for akio i think. though he's still a complex character with complex motives. he's just harder to get a grasp on.

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rexcaliburechoes · 4 months

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does gale know that he's appreciated? does he know that he's loved? does he know that he's funny and witty and charming and worthwhile as a companion because of his simple existence? does he know that there is fulfillment in following the ambition to live? does he know? can he see the paths laid before him, the paths he is destined to walk, some that end in his death, others that continue on with his life, does he understand the ramifications of his choices, does he understand how his choices have affected the other companions' courses just by asking for a hand?

does he understand how the act of taking his hand grounds him in reality, towards a brighter future?

of course he doesn't; he's a fictional character and he only knows thst he sees in front of him and that is his death several feet ahead of him. he is entangled in the fabric of the universe like a moth in a spider's web, the strands of his ambitions and regrets clinging, gossamer thin yet sticky and strong, holding him fast to the paths that rip him in too many directions.

all he needs is a little push into the spider's maw or free to fly and live another day.

#rex rambles #bg3 #gale dekarios #gale of waterdeep #bg3 gale #gale bg3 #having a lot of feelings about the nature of character studies the metatextual presence of dnd #how gale is caught up in the weave and how the weave is the world and how. mystra plays into this #how the player (tav durge or origin) can push and pull gale based upon their actions with the player freedom afforded by the game #but how ultimately there are so many endings that get coded into the game due to its size limitations and how he's fated #destined even #to call victim to his ambition or grow wise to it #also BTW he's funny and a breach of fresh air from the rest of the relatively murdery cast #in a technical sense you need that buffer character or setting to make the hard hitting moment hit harder #can't make a sweet pastry without salt. can't make a rich dish without acidity. can't have a heavy story without levity #(well. you can but it may very well veer inti the melodramatics which may or. may not be desirable)#having a lot of meta thoughts. they players are gods. the players control the characters' actions #wouldn't that be a revelation a crisis of faith even #for him (or any origin character really) to realise he's never truly free.#don't look at my waxing poetic at 4am this barely makes sense LMAO. dom't percieve my barely coherent thoughts #baldur's gate 3

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greensaplinggrace · 11 months

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the curse of playing any video game on the hardest difficulty even once is that there is literally no going back to an easier one afterward

#and the curse of playing a videogame for the first time on the hardest difficulty is… well you get it #any other difficulty feels ridiculous after that #anyways this is what happened to me with dying light #i have literally never played that game on anything but nightmare and I regret everything #but also it’s fun so 🤷‍♀️#dying light #metro 2033 #dishonored #dh1 #Altho with dh it’s more like.. even hard is too easy and I have to customize the difficulty setting to make it even harder than very hard #this is me with civ 6 deity mode rn #hell on earth btw #but it is physically impossible to go back #myramblings

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danothan · 7 months

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I like to think of halbarry as two gay men who haven't come to terms with their sexuality and complete denial bc of their trauma and bullying

like what you said in flashpoint paradox where in that timeline he got the support system and no trauma I think

I think it makes sense to me them being gay than bi/pan. etc

oh this could not have come at a worse time, i’m drawing the most bisexual halbarryisms in the world rn 💔

#danswers #dc #halbarry #hal jordan #barry allen #green lantern #the flash #danbles #i never updated on this but i finally decided my ‘true canon’ is that they’re both bi!#and yes including hal’s pansexual ass. it doesn’t rly make a difference either way but EYE personally interpret him as bi too #and ik i said all that stuff abt fpp but i think the problem is that the hc dismisses barry’s current life #as if having trauma could negate newer experiences #i think it makes more narrative sense to combine the memories of both timelines to make him feel more complete rather than choose either or #rings some bisexual bells doesn’t it?#not to mention barry’s compartmentalization is not strictly gay in fact it works thematically with the bi angle #as for hal. well i want her to be bi^2 to put it simply. the bisexual bigender agenda. bigenda #i also think that the way hal views gender is deeply fascinating and makes it harder for me to view him as pan bc of it?#not that i think being bi or pan has any singular experience but ig it makes more sense to me as someone that has identified as both #idek if hal would use labels i just describe her with specific ones as a way to communicate my own interpretations. he’s just living life #so yeah they’re repressed for sure. but i also don’t think that makes them gay #the post you referenced was an oldie tho i’m glad it still resonated with someone!#none of this is canon anyway so hc whatever you’d like <3 #i’ll only fight someone if they say barry specifically is the token straight. targeting him just bc he’s boring smh…

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tw1stedthicket · 4 months

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i think i might be a lesbian

#first read the lesbian master doc over a year ago #when i was questioning both attractions to men and women and what they were based in #just kind of accepted i was bi prolly #didnt really know enough of what i felt to say #but i have explored this and questioned this and everything more this past year #finally got tired of saying “i dont want to be with men” wHaT dOes iT mEan #just spent the last hour and a half reviewing it out loud to myself and recording my thoughts #and damn it does hit so much harder now #all signs are flashing YOU ONLY LIKE WOMEN but ima be fr with u....#im afraid to admit to not liking men #bc the question has never been: “what do you want?” it's been “but is there a way it can work out with a man maybe”#“and you can feel attracted to him enough to be with him?”#and if the answer is in any way yes even slightly #then by saying you are a lesbian you are a LIAR #and what if you miss out on a great guy???????#yoUr oNlY chAnce For HapPiNeSS??#the truth is. it's right there. it's literally with women #but also #internalized homophobia #it's like crossing a line i can't uncross #to not have a way to be “normal”

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sysig · 1 year

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Haven’t seen you around these parts (Patreon)

#Doodles #Deltarune #Rouxls Kaard #Pink Addison #Blue Addison #I feel like it might be a bit out there to say that Rouxls Kaard and the Addisons are equivalents to their respective chapters but like #Hear me out for like half a second lol #Handsome masc salespeople with an interesting relationship to the Secret Boss - yes I fully admit to being No Suit trash lol #I know you can't buy from the Addisons in the same way - like they don't get the vendor close up but they're Super trying to sell you stuff #I'm just saying there are enough similarities to justify mushing my previous fave with my current - faves I guess lol #They're all very Design y'know how it is - I think I still love Rouxls more but he's more difficult to draw so it's getting harder to tell!#It's all Blue's fault anyway lol as soon as I started drawing Rouxls again I had to have them meet somehow - he's literally in Chapter 2!#Why not wandering around lost lol #Me? Projecting onto my current fixations?? Psh no - they think he's handsome totally irrespective of me definitely lol #He is handsome ♥ If they happen to notice well what's the harm in that lol #The pirate hat is very goofy but I forgot about the eye patch :( It's also quite a handsome accessory!#You'll never get any sales if you get flustered by handsome customers! Very unprofessional!#Pink recovers but poor Blue lol - gotta be aggressive in today's fast paced market!#I do love the idea of the Premium Travel Package just being a map lol - ''You can find your way there'' thanks Pink #I am very pleased with that last panel haha they all turned out so cute! Poses and legs and expressions ah! Fun!#Maybe once he turns them down they can talk shop lol - literally

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eddis-not-eeddis · 7 months

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#things in my life are actually getting better #but i don't really know how to cope with that because it's been about seven years since anything really good has come my way and i #i am freaking out #i might be having a mid-life crisis a little early #i'm a year behind but some of the BIG plots I've been scheming and dreaming of are finally about to come to fruition #and i cannot be even remotely normal about it #i feel like i'm paralyzed #i am so so scared of everything right now #i just want to hide myself in a dark corner and never have to see a single person ever again #it's not the first step on the path #but it's the first one where the end goal is FINALLY in sight and i have worked SO HARD for this for five years #(but really seven because for two years just hanging in there and not dying was harder than any of the work)#now that my goal is within my grasp #real and tangible #i don't really know what to do with myself #it's terrifying #and exciting #i feel like i can do anything but also like i'm going to crash and burn #ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

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xumoonhao · 11 months

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(a few bonus shows that i love just as much but didnt make the cut since i could only choose 9: the end of the world, with you; tsuritama; yuri!!! on ice; original sin; solomons perjury.)

the wonderful @lovenee tagged me to post 9 of my favourite shows!!! thank you soooooo much for the tag omg, im sorry it took so long ||orz like i saved the pictures so long ago and then simply . forgot..... but!!! this was a lot of fun to do!!! i really dont watch a lot of shows tbh but picking my favs was easy bc the ones i watch i tend to love bc i truly do have So much love to give. if i enjoy something slightly it becomes a fav. im really so easy to please <3

i will tag @hoshogie, @grlfriends, @chanonara, @earlymay, @jeonghanurl, @deshimango, @faguts, & @grenocket to do this as well!!! no pressure, ofc ofc (p≧w≦q)

#btw i feel as tho i need to specify for tiger & bunny it is only season 1 that counts. season 2 does not exist as far as im concerned 🙏🏻#also that poster for modern family is SO hideous . like did they ps everyone in serparately?? im laughing so hard rn its so bad 😭#i dont think i forgot any shows but i just KNOW im gonna post this and remember something else i love =_=#also i really rec pegasus market to rveryone it is SO funny and weird omg...a show has never made me laugh harder i dont think??#i mean modern family is vvv funny too but pegasus market is something so special to me <<<333 #once again thank u for the tag nee (´▽`ʃ♡ƪ) this was fun to do!!!#tag games

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sweet-star-cookie · 8 months

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-SIGH-

#welp back at it again in Colour Hell™#this was originally made for another character (who i also need to redesign lmao) but it's relevant again for what i'm working on tonight #sometimes I genuinely wonder if I'm actually any better at this or if I'm just giving myself harder stuff to do #it feels like it never gets any easier #though with the amount of colours and saturation i use on the regular i suppose i'm deliberately playing on hard mode lol #this isn't a serious vent post btw i'm just sitting here staring at my wip like 'ah shit here we go again'#another day in the life of a character designer

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adore-gregor · 3 months

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ugh

#altough it got better in a way my self confidence is still so bad :(#some days it's worse than others it changes with my mood or idk #just lately i have been feeling kinda down about myself #i just have never been this naturally confident person and i feel like i'm not enough or not doing enough a lot at times :/#when i was younger it was even worse and i thought of myself that no guy would ever like me bc i'm so not good looking #obviously that was not true and guys do like me and i would not go that far anymore but often i look at myself and think average at best #even though that might not even be true and sometimes i like what i look like in a mirror but i think to myself just good lighting or sth #and so often when i see a bad picture of myself i feel so ashamed like i'd just wish i looked differently #and when guys tell me i'm pretty or also other people i find it so difficult to believe that like i don't see that in myself #but it does not make a sense i know others don't think of me like that also guys i think of as a attractive but i don't see myself like that #but it's not just that i often also feel doubtful i will ever achieve much #i always think i should be finished with uni already or have better grades #and mostly that i'm not smart enough in general #but my grades are not even bad and i'm not failing any classes #like i just got another a in that class (i'm actually really happy about that one) but then i think okay but some people have all a's #like i could do better i could study harder #unfortunately i'm a master of procrastination as well 😅 and quite good at lol #what i mean is that i manage to study very little compared to others and still get good grades - sounds good but keeps me lazy 😅#and i also think when i achieve a good grade often that i don't deserve it that much because i could have studied more #and that i just got lucky which is not very rational i know 😅#or once i actually just passed an exam (i studied the night before) and i though yeah the teacher just felt sorry for me and let me pass #realistically i don't think it was like that #and at uni i studied for big exams which were feared by students for 2 days and got a b #which should indicate i'm somewhat smart but i think i just know the right study techniques and got lucky again #altough i do know good study techniques i think :))#buuut sometimes i do things which are so dumb like i do have these moments my mind is going like blank #and it's not difficult things even #like in football we did this exercise of a series of passes and everyone got it but me until a few tries like how is this harder #i'm just kind of bad at envisioning like this series 3 dimensionally in my mind idk i usually get it once i do it and remember the movement #what it feels like

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gideonisms · 1 year

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burnout is supposed to end at some point, I have read this. However, how do you know when it has ended and you should gradually force yourself through more activities to get used to living a life again, and when doing that will send you Directly back to an even worse ring of hell. Is there like a guidebook or

#in some ways it sucks i've never had one massive breakdown just like small ones that didn't really justify lying in bed for a month #like when i say i'm doing that i'm also usually doing bare minimum reading eating exercise #in addition to lying in bed and scrolling for 5 billion hours #i'm still making plans and attempting to get better it's just at a glacial pace #it's not working i'm not feeling better i still feel like if i find a job or try to make a decision i'll probably break in a million pieces #then any time i try to work harder the rebound of that hits me even worse #every job i feel like i can deal with less and less masking. until one day i just won't be able to hold down one for more than 2 months #i kept trying every strategy i knew and it just wouldn't keep me from having to go to my car and scream sometimes #feels like walking over coals trying to apply for internships rn but schoolwork is the only task i like some of the time #need the internship to graduate if i don't graduate i'll just be stuck doing things i hate even more #ik you shouldn't apply to grad school just to go but if i can put off dealing with living a life outside of academia for even 1 year longer #worth the mountains of debt #like even if i drop out and everything goes horribly that's a year i didn't spend saying thank you have a nice day #god. i'm going back to thinking abt lesbian necromancers now. wow that brief look into my mental state sucked

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yoojinluv · 8 months

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