#but if i dont do this we dont know if i need surgery

[freyito]

while it's a very popular headcanon that boothill can't feel anything from the neck down, i think there's some validity to him still being able to feel, albeit, not exactly on a human level.

while on the outside what we see is metal, considering the fact that in his lightcone his guts are literally getting rearranged... there needs to be a barrier between the metal and wires or else they will get damaged more quickly and he will short-circuit more.

so.... he mostly likely has synthetic skin between the metal plating and his wires (also to keep his blood in, since his lc also confirms that he does. have blue blood ((or it could be metaphorical, who knows?)). now, there are definitely parts of him where he can't feel, like the barrel in his arm. i assume that the entire arm was cut off from the entire "nervous system".

which, on that note, considering his entire body was unsalvageable, they needs to create some sort of stand in for a nervous system so he can actually control his body. if he didn't, then he'd most likely be toyed with by the IPC, against his will (which is quite sad to think about.)

the nervous system paired with the synthetic skin i think would actually provide... some sort of sensation. I can't go into the details of it cause I am not THAT smart... but let's just saw it could be some sort of nerve mimicking device patched along with that nervous system.

Because he is so heavily plated (as in we literally dont see any synthetic skin or anything of the sort), the touch he feels is very very muted. It's be more like... he can feel the vibrations. So faint touch doesn't register, and it's something people would have to be more firm with. So... touch may not be that meaningful to him (aside from the face and the little bits of skin we see), but I believe he can still feel it, albeit, very muted and dull. It's kind of like when you wear knee braces or something of the sort with the plastic on it and the padding, and you tap it. Just, metal is a lot denser so it'd feel a lot more fainter.

I think he'd also have some phantom pains and touches, kind of like when you're in vr for too long and like your friend pokes at you or something, you know? Or what those with prosthetic limbs feel (which is a lot more accurate to this).

also for those who write him with a PEANITS.... he'd probably have that made out of entirely synthetic skin. And most likely would've had to do his own bottom surgery or get it done at some sketchy ass place, considering the IPC adjusted his synthesia beacon AND made him as a war machine, essentially. BUT good news.... that'd be the most sensitive part of him for sure.

#hsr #honkai star rail #boothill #boothill hsr

[twowivestwoknives]

well i made it to the medical appointment, got all the way to the procedure room, had a panic attack and couldnt go thru with it

#i can FEEL needles inside me #instant overstim panic attack overwhelm #and the procedure is 5min of 3 diff needles In My Shoulder #and i just couldnt keep it together #but if i dont do this we dont know if i need surgery #i feel like such a fucking pussy #idk why i feel so bad #i keep fighting hard to get my body taken care of #and this is a Part of That #but i just cant fucking do it #ffs i wanna die (not for serious just) #i have so much run off panic #im going home and eating leftovers and playing sims and going to bed early #and only wesring soft things #i feel like such a fucking child #im 27 and scared of /needles/ ??? #i broke my foot and didnt notice but NEEDLES #i hhave chronic pain at a 4-7 daily but NEEDLES #i find cuts and bruises cathartic but NEEDLES #who the fuck am i why am i lile this #life and times #medical t #needles t

[silenthillbunni]

📓🕯️🐇🖤pt.2

#only 30 tags lol i ran out... so furthermore #we only get one life. im gonna try as much as i can to enjoy the little moments. nd to not give up on myself nd my life #i will die one day anyway. why rush it. i'll enjoy as many books and as many walks and songs and tv shows as possible #if i get a loan nd have more money i wanna bleach my hair nd dye my hair green #and later this year i think i might change my name #it was the name i wanted to change to from the beginning. but i was in such a bad headspace i just picked eden at random #i do kinda like it now nd im attached to it but i more feel like this other name actually is me. my birth name nd my current name dont feel #really right. so maybe. i havent decided yet. like i rlly dont know. im also attached to this name for some other reason. like it's who i am #to a person i rlly like and if i change... will i be anything to them? i cant put it into words but that makes me hesitate #but it's unhealthy to stay attached to someone i cant truly have even if i want to. so i mean. idk im just weird abt it #but i do kinda wanna change my name (to embla. my mom wanted to give me that name but my dad was like nooo >.<) i am not 100% sure tho so #when i've been getting used to going to school nd working out at the gym. nd after my surgery nd i have more energy #i will try to face my avpd and try apps for making friends. there r two apps where u can find new girl friends!! maybe i can try that #also like i've never tried apps but i think maaaaaybe i can use bumble to try to find friends and women to date. potentially. idk..... #rn it's hard for me to think in those terms bc. i mean i am hung up on someone!!!! i cant evwn imagine dating or being intimate w anyone els #sometimes i feel like.. they're the only person i've ever felt like it'd even be possible. who i'd event want to do that w #not only physically but emotionally. so ig it's even harder to let go bc im so scared i will never feel like that w anyone else #but i rlly need to try to make the most of whatever life i have. the world will collapse soon anyway #that makes me even more sad that i cant be w who i wanna be w nd do what i wanna do but #all pain will all be completely descimated eventually. it's not forever bc life isnt forever #i've just never felt this before. like i want smth to be real so bad but if it happened once surely it can happen again? right? #i wont spend my life alone without intimacy and love and comfort nd support nd understanding right???? :o hope not #im still so sad nd exhausted rn. nothing in my life is working nd theres no repreive nd no help #it gets sooo hard to endure everything sometimes when everything just keeps piling up and gets so heavy it feels like im drowning #nd atm i dont feel like i have any anchor. nothing that keeps me grounded nd im just floating away nd im constantly being overwhelmed by my #feelings nd emotions. im like a stupid little kid who dont understand how to handle what im feeling. or make rational decisions #i feel so ... stupid and useless. i dont know what im doing. i have no idea. i have no compass. its so scary

[yuukei-yikes]

haruka and takane are literally said to be experimented on but we never know what exactly happens to them and rly they didnt Have to get experimented on to get to where they end up on, just killed. but also its so much more fun to imagine they do get experimented on. my hc is since their red eyes case is kinda unique the experimenting bit also plays a part in the way saeru cheats the system to get 2 snakes out in 1 day. cuz technically ONE snake should be out by killing two people. for 2 snakes to get out you’d need 4 people!!

also something i never got is HOW is ayano able to open the daze by herself and keep one snake when it’s supposed to be when 2 people die. all 3 of their cases are a little ridiculous or i just personally dont get it. i take pride in understanding kagepro but ayano’s thing is something i never quite got lol. HOW DO ALL 3 GET A SNAKE IF THEY DIE ALONE(?) i thought maybe the daze opens for ayano bc haruka and takane’s deaths already opened it that day?? we dont rly know if ayano dies before or after haruka and takane after all. erm. 1 million thoughts in tags like always

#IDC. takane has scars on her scalp from saeru messing with her brain for shit like her spirit to be able to leave for opening eyes #LIKE... HAVING A SPIRIT IS CANON IN THE KAGEPRO UNIVERSE WE DONT TALK ABT THIS ENOUGH #and haruka already has scars from normal surgeries he's had in his life #but when he gets his body back there's SO MANY NEW ONES and he has no idea if it's from konoha's misadventures or whatever the fuck saeru #did to him and takane #i know awakening can like. regenerate the body #but maybe for a body like azami's it works flawlessly but for a human body like haruka's it leaves a lot of sequels #and thats why when he gets his body back and he's not rly able to properly use or rather control awakening #his appearance gets stuck like midway between konoha and himself #HARUKA STILL POSSESSES AWAKENING IN STR HE JUST CANT CONTROL IT #it focuses entirely on his health all by itself #he has wounds from shit like konoha taking bullet wounds from saeru #hehe #the dan asking haruka and takane how the hell did saeru manage to get 2 snakes out with them #and them being like UR ASKING US?? HOW THE FUCK WOULD WE KNOW WE WERE LITERALLY PASSED AWAYED #ur always in that damn autopsy table tumblr post. #sorry. experimenting in a lab is such an interesting plot point and the fact its so confusing and really kinda makes no sense to use the #word experimenting its rather that saeru kills them. WHAT DO U NEED THE FUCKING LAB FOR #saeru getting influenced by kenjirou's freak science interests. it's like i just want to get this over with but man this human's brain has #interesting concepts. lets play around with it a little. #idk. i think mixing the experimenting bit with the How The Hell Did U Get 2 Snakes Out is interesting #like saeru rly using it to cheat the system. IDK. its clearing it just be knowing shit #with human knowledge from kenjirou's brain and its snake knowledge of snake things whatever that is. yeah. total sense #my aunt texting me while im writing this. she's asking me if im busy #YES IM BUSY IM WRITING A KAGEPRO POST #kagevinnie #is this kagexplain or kagenalysis or headcanons. what tag do i use. man i dont fucking know. kagepro is such a joke #kagenalysis

[soggypotatoes]

having a dissociative disorder is so fucked up and confusing

like, I feel like that's obvious, but no... once you know you have it, once it's confirmed, it just gets so much more confusing than it was before

#ed mumbles #it's all fun and games till a mental health professional starts talking to you about it #and im like nononono noo that is something other people experience not me #and shes like 🧐 #anyway. its been bad the last few days #ive been experiencing states simultaneously and switching very rapidly #getting double vision and not sure who's where #i have a young part thats obsessed with flossing her teeth for hours on end and i am gripping her leash rn like NO #last time we did that we fucked up our gums so no #and then another part is like. i need top surgery NOW. #in therapy today i was switching rapidly #and i was overheating when one was present and freezing when another was #it was fucking weird i dont know what's going on #i have to see her most days bc shes like an anchor so i know who i am and whats happening each day #also i do take this w a grain of salt bc i dont have an official diagnosis #but thats only bc i didnt want one #she told my psychiatrist about it but i told him nope dont talk to me abt it i dont wanna know. #i dont want that on my record this is insanely personal and i dont need it in writing where people i dont know might see it

[ozlices]

really fucking sucks that it does not matter how openly we cry about how fucked up we are after everything this year has put us through, we are just. ignored. like. we're very open about having abandonment issues & a burden complex, but nobody gives a fuck abt ensuring that isn't. you know. constantly fueled in the aftermath of all the shit this year put us through.

we haven't suffered in silence. quite the opposite. but we're literally just. ignored. & left to rot. no matter how transparent we are abt how badly we're doing. & it sucks. like it's getting to a point where we're genuinely starting to get apathetic towards our friends & we don't fucking care to fight it off anymore.

if my friends were posting the kinda shit we do during our meltdowns, id be rushing to call them as soon as i could. maybe im just different. maybe im just a dumbass for caring so goddamn much! cause jfc it clearly isn't mutual no matter what!

how am i supposed to fight off my persecutor telling me nobody fucking loves me bc i don't deserve it when i can beg for somebody to lend their hand to me, & all i get is silence.

we haven't been checked up on. anyone we used to talk to daily has just decided we're too depressing or whatever to be around, i guess. like. idk what anyone wants from us anymore. i really fucking don't. all we want is to have somebody give a shit abt us & fucking MEAN it. actually be there for us. actually take care of us the same way we take care of everybody else.

but nah nah instead we're just. having our complexes fueled. our persecutor's ammo refilled, meanwhile we're left with nothing. absolutely fucking nothing.

the best relationship of our lives couldn't even last longer than a month & no matter what, we can't fight being made to feel like we just weren't worth keeping around.

we've never escaped being "too depressed to handle" as our token in a friend group, but like. idk. maybe if we weren't made to constantly feel so fucking alone & like nobody genuinely gives a shit abt us, we'd be able to At Least cope a bit better.

idek what to do or say anymore. like our persecutor gets on our ass for saying "nobody cares" like "oh well you're just being manipulative & fishing." bitch i GENUINELY fucking feel like nobody fucking cares about me & not a single goddamn person has tried to significantly fight that notion to any genuine degree.

it'll be fought with filler words in the moment, but again. nobody checks on us. nobody just randomly tells us they love us and care about us. nobody does the little things we've always done for our loved ones we know are going through rough times. even if we directly tell people it helps. so, what the fuck else am i sposed to say or think.

im tired of feeling like this. im tired of being lonely, and unloved, and uncared for, and like it's all fucking pointless. im tired.

i just feel like we're just forgotten about until we're needed. but when we are the ones who need someone else to help us? well, we can just fucking rot, then. i guess. we're just an annoying burden who's too depressing to be around. not worth any genuine effort. and we cannot keep fighting that notion when nobody gives a shit to stand with us against it.

#mine #vent// #i just had to get this out. like it's to a point where it's even significantly hurting our little. #they often are the one making our statuses the way they are on our priv discord #& like. idk. v much fucking sucks ppl KNOW we have a little in our system who tends to front the most #the statuses on the acc are not some uwu im depwessed moment. it's a little being hurt & crying for help #& just. being ignored. like... idk. idk what to do or say or think anymore. wtf are any of us sposed to do w this. #what does anyone want from us. we've been open abt how brutal this year has been. how badly off we are #& our health has only gotten WORSE & worse. we have no idea what's even going on w our body anymore #but like! the aspect of maybe smth is seriously wrong & we could be hospitalized or need surgery is just like. #cool i literally do not fucking care bc nobody else would. so what's the point! #im tired of being in pain and suffering alone. it hurts & it's cruel & it all feels so empty. #i just dont fucking know what to fucking do anymore. none of us do. #we just usually sit in a circle in the front & hold each other to avoid having a breakdown/meltdown everyday #bc we feel so suffocated by the loneliness & misery & having to fight it on our own. #fucking... bullshit. i wish i could stop caring i hate having a heart it isn't worth it i wanna tear it out

[cottageivy]

baker isnt peeing again :)))) this time we genuinely have like no way to afford anything, even if he just needed a catheter again. i have no idea what to do

#mia rambles #like. my brain keeps going to worse case scenarios and i hate it so much #on top of not getting the job its just. fuck #pet health tw #im also like pretty sure we didnt actually get approved for the credit but we didnt know until we used it #so who the fuck knows if the vet will let us even bring him in #they also dont do payment plans which is ugh #itd be $1000 if he just needs another catheter but if he needs surgery itd be like 5 grand like #god. i dont fucking know

[riverofrainbows]

I want to look like a boy so bad its lowkey ruining my life

#tw i am venting in the tags so read with warning if you're not in the headspace for that #own post #trans #dysphoria #i want t so bad but i cant until I'm done with uni to not ruin my state exam with transphobia and i kind of have to get top surgery first #because i cant wear a binder (because of the same disability that causes me to need an extra semester longer for uni i am so close to the #end of my degree) #and top surgery might also take time #and then t comes with a ton of requirements in my stupid transphobic country so it might take even longer #and there is a law in the making to make informed consent possible (and changing your name and gender marker without two evaluations and a #court case) but it'll probably take two more years and there is always the risk of them taking it to the next election period and fucking #everything up because we all know politicians never hold their promises #and i am so burnt out all i want is to sleep #i have been alone at home for a week and i realised i need so much more alone time than i thought as soon as i got used to it I started #having meltdowns going to the grocery store this is so stupid #and i could talk to my parents about it but what could they do? help me process my emotions? dont be ridiculous #they love me so much and support me in everything but they know jack shit about helping me with my emotions #so now i am emotionally neglected while having loving parents bc they were emotionally neglected and never fucking figured it out #which they should have #before popping out a kid #and i should go to bed because this is very much a 'dont trust your emotions after midnight' moment #but i am currently sobbing uncontrollably so that is not very practical

[andragoras-in-vanity]

so, if i tried to make little things to selle like scrunchies or soemthing (cause theyre easy and i have a lot of scrap fabric) would anybody buy them? simple clothing of some sort?

i really need help if anyone has any ideas, ive been unemployed since basically October and ODSP fucked me, i cant work but i cant get help from the government either because i cant take medication to 'prove' i should be on disability, but i really really need money

#im going to learn how to alter clothes but im in no shape right now to go in and learn #and im really kinda desperate at this point #i need fabric to make some summer clothes and its super costly #i need to make a fall coat before fall comes and i need to pick up soap and dish soap and medicated body wash #and groceries #my health is suffering because i cant eat much but i can eat what i bake but butter is seven bucks a pop so i cant bake #nor do i have a proper oven to bake bread #i need vitamin water cause i dont remember to take vitamins and supplements and what i do remember tastes like roadkill #and dont even ask me how much those cost #and all i actually want is to leave this province which my gramas having surgery on her leg so now my family wont be able to travel this #summer even though my mums be telling me for 5 years wed go to the coast for my birthday and we never do and im not able to go on my own #and i had been all set for tattoos before the pandemic and now i cant afford any of them and i dont think i can convince my old man to pay #for them cause he thinks im just lazy but i just wanna be pretty and everything i do backfires and ends up worse including my hair #and a piercing I've had for ten years #everything sucks and if the plan i have to get me to the coast happens i meed to pray the bank will give me a massive loan so i can #buy a place with three units so the rent would cover me because as i am now i dont know how to make any money #unless im able to get disability out there #and on top of that i finally have reached the point i need a cane and im so ashamed of this stupid body #that no one has ever loved and i dont have money enough to paint it or make it look fancy if i have to use it #i can barely walk i felt better today then made it three steps ar the store before i almost fell down again #i dont know what to do and i need advice on how to make some money when i cant do much and rn i just want to be outside anyway #all of this would be so much less stress if i just had my person but hes not here and i dont know how to meet him #and im so afraid i never will i dont want to pass another fucking year alone and untouched and not knowing what its like to be wantwd #and the more time passes the less my own family wants me and the worse my health gets amd no one cares #and i just want my person cause i know he always would and i dont know what to do but ache for him #and be afraid ill always be trapped in this shitty boring lonely life #but at least i meed money of nothing else to prevent running out before top surger and not affording it and also to get tattoos #im so tired and scared and no one ever knows how to help if they even want to #someone just see me and save me already #i dont want to be doted on or paid for i just want someone to see me and ask me to run away with them

[makeitpoppy]

being a very brave, big girl today

(27 yo grown ass woman is organizing her health check docs, blood test results, mental health diagnosis comprobation and vaccination cards)

#theres a fucking gap in my vaccination cards from around 2013 to 2020 #when i was a broody teenager who was afraid of needles #and now i dont know what fucking vaccines im missing so i can get them #alflieajflfhalifhdldhl HELP #i know i have to get the fourth covid shot and the flu shot #maybe the bcg's second dose??? #otherwise im lost #doing this because i have some big appointments coming up #and i just got my new blood test results which funny story just told me i am in fact vaccinated againt hepatitis B or at least immune #from when i caught it as a child (its also nice to know which fucking one because it keeps coming up and i never know i was too young) #its a combination of post operation check up and new problems that need to be solved that we dont know if (...) #(...) its from what caused me to need surgery in the first place or if its something else entirely #seeing that my family's health history? NOT. SO. GOOD. #at all tbh #personal #sheryl talks nonsense

[localdorkincombatboots]

Idk if I really did but I might've made a small impact locally. I did a lot of research and calling the LRC and getting other folks to call about a bill in my states house that would've banned street camping and opened up a world of hell on our homeless population and it took a little while but they removed the provision. Idk if I actually influenced it at all but I at least got multiple people to learn about and actively start using the LRC line and the provision specifically was removed so yay there's a small win at least.

#now if only the rest of the bad luck could stop happening cause my man recently broke his elbow and had a bad tear in his shoulder from a #fall on the ice and now he needs surgery #i dont know what to do #i could make another post but i feel like such dogshit having to make any of them especially with how many ive had to make but shit #literally will not stop happening always #hes still dying of cancer and its still getting worse and we still have no transportation and were still really struggling with how little #we make and bills keep getting more expensive and nothing ever gets any easier and its taken more than everything we've had for literally #years at this point and every fuckin time we turn around we get fucked with another goddamn problem or injury or death or what the fuck eve #i want to give up but thats not a option so i guess ill just cry #at least i mightve helped protect the homeless people near me a little bit let me have this one tiny win #jaye shut up

[rayvern-sheep]

I think out of spite of all tooth whitening & straightening products im gonna give all my characters yellow and wonky teeth, unless they’re vain assholes where it makes sense for them to shill out all the money for it

#shut up ray #unless your teeth are causing physical discomfort (like mine do sometimes) i rlly see no reason for ‘fixing’ them #i have one tooth literally being pushed to the back by another and it worries me #not cos its ugly #but cos its 100% gonna cause me problems in the future #ppl think gaps between the top incisors need ‘fixing’… are you shitting me???? #unless its causing genuine problems i dont see the problem #im just… im getting sick to death of purely cosmetic shit being done to ‘fix’ things that aren’t broken #and i know ppl will call me a hypocrite cos i want top surgery but idk man #that feels different? i cant explain why #as someone w/ wonky stained teeth and a big bent nose #it makes me fucking furious to think that society views those things as needing to be ‘fixed’ #maybe being trans puts my bodily issues into perspective idk #but to me top surgery is the only surgery i ever want to have #any other issues i have are small fucking beans compared to how uncomfortable my chest makes me #its not just ‘oh ew kinda ugly’ its ‘this makes me unable to live in my body. i have to constanly live in a state of partial dissociation- #-just to get by’ and idk man… #big noses are beautiful #teeth ate unique in all their patterns #why do we have to all look the fucking same i hate it here #tag rambles #anyway…. i know there’s more important shit to talk abt.. #but idk #i just see fucking red when im forced to watch the 1000th advert for teeth whitening shit #as long as my teeth and causing me pain or falling out or breaking. dude thats great w/ me! #if i can get to 50 and still have all my teeth intact that would be a fucking miracle

[asumichen]

I hate the US medical system I hate the US medical system I hate the US medical system

#I’ve been getting the run around for over a week #and my primary was like 🤷🏼‍♀️ maybe get an ultrasound thats not good #we dont think you have cancer but like maybe a biopsy if it comes back off #and Im like just point me m8 i don’t know anything #and the ultrasound place sent the results back to my primary #and they were like uhhhhh you should go to a dr about that maybe and get them to do smtn #like YOU ARE THE DR???? point me to a more dr dr then 😭😭😭 #so they were like maybe we can see you in dec but its kinda urgent so if it gets worse go to the dr right away #and like THAT IS WHY IM HERE. AT THE DR #so now im at the er that probably doesn’t take my insurance and they were immediately like oh yeah this is very not good we gotta do a ct #and you’ll probably need to have a minor surgery today #like thank you this is going to cost so much money 😭 #my og dr and og ultrasound was POINTLESS but at least Im getting some help now #(but the good thing is it is like 99% probably not cancerous so yay) #rant

[hoshiyoshis]

ive never hated a doctor quicker than i have now.

#daisy.txt #im gonna rant in the tags and >> has to do w it so i'll just tag it with a tw so anyone doesnt get exposed to this kind of shit #fatphobia tw #mr bone doctor guy... can you please talk to my father abt the fractured bone and treatment for that #instead of going off on a VERY LONG speech abt how hes fat and needs to lose weight or he'll die #like. you can talk abt how he needs to lose weight without harping on it endlessly. #was it relevant? yes but not to the extent of 'i'm going to rant about this for several minutes before i even talk to you about the actual #injury that you're here to see me about. btw sugar is the devil and poison dont put it in ur body ever' #like. my guy. i know ppl with eating disorders. ive seen ppl say this kind of talk directly contributed to the way they felt abt food #like. say what u fucking mean. EXCESSIVE amounts is bad. not all sugar is automatically bad. #like. yes i know he has a point! my dad and i both agree he has a point! but i heavily disagree on how that message was put across #he has a fractured bone in his upper arm. this doesnt mean 'rant for several minutes abt how all sugar is poison.' and then be wishy-washy #as hell with the actual reality of shit. we went from 'yeah we'll need a CT scan ur gonna need surgery' #to him bringing a coworker in who said 'are you sure that (bone fracture he said) is what it is? it looks like (diferent thing) to me' #and him agreeing like oh yeah thats it #(nothing against getting a second opinion btw like im glad he did!!! but the man didnt say 'you might need surgery' he said 'you will') #(and i think he could have held back on the definite until he KNEW) #and then he went from 'its 50-50 surgery or let it heal let me talk to my colleagues in [city]' to #'ok theyre not gonna do surgery they think it can just heal naturally and i agree w them' #like. my guy! im glad u got a second opinion but can u literally not come in guns blazing with 'UR DEF GONNA NEED SURGERY' if ur not a hund #on whether or not he'll need surgery??? cite it as an option bc the moment he walked out of the room my dad and i looked at each other like #'well... fuck.' because we thought he'd have to have surgery!!! #these tags are getting long but holy fuck i do not like this guy. something abt all of it together just pissed me tf off

[transmasc-malleus]

theres something deeply wrong with my reproductive organs and hormone balances what is going on

#speaking in runes #last time i went to a gyno i was just told to never go off birth control ever cause they didnt know what was up #but like. thats not sustainable for me lol #like i tell you oh when im off BC i bleed non-stop and have huge clots that happen every 30 mins #and they just go well when we ran the tests it was ok so just dont go off bc haha #like yeah the test was ok cause i was back on BC!!!!!!! so i wasnt bleeding anymore!!!!!! #they didnt see any cysts or whatever but like. theres SOMETHING happening #my guess is endo honestly. but cant confirm that unless i get surgery #best i can do is just get a bisalp and hope for the best i guess #gughuhguhgugu i need to move NOW i need health insurance i need to figure out whats wrong with meeeee #sorry rant cause i have a lapse in BC rn and im cramping and feel like shit so im like. angry about my current health situation #ALSO the cramping is giving me dysphoria on top of everything

[bazoombas]

.

CW pet injury ??

No read more because mobile sorry

#my 13yo dog brownie (loml) apparently has a slipped disc?? #yesterday she lost some movement in her lower (rear?) extremities and was panting really hard #we called our vet who said it was probably a pulled muscle in her neck?? #then we callex the vet hospital (which is an hour away) and they said to bring her in #since the visit fee is the same either way #my dad brother and sister all took her #(i cannot handle vet visits i have panic attacks) #they said it was most likely a slipped disc #but the only way to know is with an mri which is like $2-3k #and if it is then she needs surgery which would be another $4-5k #we dont have that kind of money lol!!!!! #the hospital gave her a methadone shot (the good stuff lmao) #and today we're taking her in to our local vet to see what we can do #maybe a payment plan or s/t #maybe we can find a pet insurance that doesnt care about pre-existing conditions or s/t #i love this dog #i know shes old but her last check up the vet said she was doing fantastic and she didnt even need senior dog food #i hate the idea of her being in pain #if the surgery is going to be a long and difficult recovery process #i dont think i can handle that #but i also dont think i can handle the other option #sis(19) is an absolute mess about it #so naturally im doing my thing of being the strong older sibling #personal #i hate this!!!!!!