#but i think it's also like a pretty apt metaphor for a lot of things like setting boundaries or going to therapy or choosing recovery

[inkskinned]

something bad happened to you, and you died, and you came back wrong.

not wrong all the way. the little ways. you forget important dates, stopped going out with friends. it's harder to make you smile. you're apathetic towards things you used to love, afraid of places you used to go to cheer up. quieter. flinching. different.

you came back for love. you're still here for love. what pulled you back was a brightness so loud that even death couldn't outshout it. death heard the call and smiled at you and said okay. go home. somebody is waiting for you.

but you came back different. like lot's wife; you've turned into salt. you used to chirp through life in hops and skips; but now you lose skin just standing up. you have to move slower, skimming across this world without-touching-it. most things feel dull - until they're suddenly all-too-much. life, and being alive just rushes up and over you and you get hopelessly crushed.

you try to explain it to them: it is ugly, but this is what you are, now. the huge golden hoop of your halo now a little bronze ring. you are still watering your plants and wearing the same clothes. after all, you worked hard to come home. this life; so odd and off-color, now that you are wrong.

but they waited for you - it's just that they wanted the "you" that happened before this. the "you" that could sing in the show and hug people tight and look at a blade without breaking down to cry. the you with a smile in pictures. god, holyshit, it's like looking at a completely different person, isn't it. that other-you; the one they actually wanted.

you are the consolation prize. you are the body that forgot the ghost. you are the memory of the bad thing, and the death after; like you are wearing that memory as a banner. you are a fragment, an assembly. simulacrum. you don't make eye contact in mirrors, afraid the light will glance off and your true nature will flash back at you.

you hear them talk about it in their hushed, desperate whispers. sometimes they even admit it to your face; harsh and violent, acid thrown at christmas dinner. god, can you just fucking be normal again. you do not remember what normal is. you had to climb so far to get back here; you are far too exhausted. you want to open the glass door of your heart and show all the gears. can you help resolve whatever got messed up?

you try so, so hard. you came back for them. because you believed they would love you, even when you were so horribly broken. because you believed they would be patient. because you believed unconditional meant "without exception." you cannot do things the same way. you just get tired too quickly these days.

you want to put them on a couch and pour them the tea with hands that shake more than they remember. you want to line them up and draw them a map of where you have had to wander. you want to show every bruise in a backsplash; the little helpless ant of your soul carrying all that weight, over and over. you want to say: yes! it is different! but i did it for love!

you want to say: "i'm not the same, but i'm yours and i'm here. can that be enough?"

#this is very obviously about my battle with #ptsd #but i think it's also like a pretty apt metaphor for a lot of things like setting boundaries or going to therapy or choosing recovery #i was thinking about the 'comes back wrong' trope and i was like. oh no i have feelings about this bc i have mental illness #and once i stopped masking - i was WRONG. i was different #here's the good news: i am now INNUNDATED with love. fucking swimming in it. excelling at it. the people who stayed #learned my new self. my new different body and how i am different but i am trying. they have held me so tightly #and my life no longer feels quiet. it is not based in my suffering. it feels like i have been growing a tree in my chest #and now it is flowering. #it is so lovely to be surrounded by people who have said - oh! you cut off so many branches i was worried you weren't the same. but now... #... this is just a new you. and i love you. and i love that you're different and happy. #(but yeah also im nb so i was absolutely influenced by Trans things)

[sysig]

Getting up to trouble is his speciality (Patreon)

#Doodles #SCII #Helix #ZEX #The Captain #Mixed set! :D Lots of singular doodles - one-offs or ones that apply to a few different scenes #The kiss is random tho <3 I still haven't gotten to ZEX showing off his uniform to Zelnick! I want them to!! #Him seeing his Captain in his uniform was so lovely tho <3 I love Big Love and that was so <3 Hehe #Smooch ♥ #ZEX does not eat enough ;; He eats like a bird and it's highly distressing #I actually wrote in my notes that I was surprised he wasn't hurting In The Same entry as when he was experiencing hunger pangs haha #It doesn't help that he tends to talk through meals rather than eat - he's so much more interested in making connections with humans! #As far as metaphors go - killing himself for the sake of trying to bridge that gap - I mean it's apt but ZEX please #I think it was while he was talking to Wally at one point that he framed the War in a very flippant light-hearted way which was funny to me #I don't think that's the descriptor most people would use haha #Swearing <3 <3 VUX terminology <3 <3 #I want a VUX glossary of terms so badly hehe I've been slowly compiling a few here and there :3 Direct translation! The dream ♫ #Him getting stressed enough to swear is very endearing haha ♪ What do you mean I'm endeared by everything he does don't be silly #The next one of me deeply enjoying when he's creepy is not proof of anything! Just because I Happen to also like that!! #I do really love when he's creepy tho agh <3 <3 The mental image of him as The Hunter - casually cornering and capturing his prey <3 #In that instance he was interrupted pretty quickly but the setup was there!! And it was extremely good!!! #I love how huffy he gets as well haha ''All these humans interrupting my seduction attempts >O( ...Wait O|'' lol #And finally an exchange on the board between him and Scarecrow haha so many fun faces around!! #I love him being completely baffled by a non-mechanical construct it just short-circuits his brain haha ♥ #He's so intelligent but there exists things unknowable! #The image of him tapping his pen is so Incredibly cute ah <3 Where did he learn such a thing! Does it translate from his VUX form to this ♪ #Anything everything ♥ Learned or known! It's wonderful

[crispycreambacon]

The Journey to Break Free • An Analysis of Malevolent's Themes

This is more like a ramble, but analysis sounds more professional y'know y'know-

Major Spoiler Warning for Episode 19

-

Episode 19 may be my favourite episode at least for Season 2 – bear in mind that as I type this, I haven't gone past Episode 19. Regardless, it is definitely a highlight of this podcast for me. It unpacked a lot about Arthur and John, and it explored many interesting themes. The strength of kindess and letting yourself be vulnerable, the reality that healing and becoming a better person isn't always a clean journey, the significance of the connections we make and the memories we carry from them...

The first one is subversive in how despite Arthur losing some of his morality in order to survive, he still retains some of it and uses it ro his advantage. It may be baffling to see Arthur still wanting to trust others and treat them kindly, as seen with Arthur wanting to offer water to the cana, because this world can turn on you so quickly. However, that may be the point. The fact that Arthur can still find it in himself to care about the beings in this world is a true testament to his resilience. The Dreamlands is unrelentlessly cruel and tests you, trying to mold you to become the monsters that roam this realm, and I think that is why Arthur won't succumb to this world's terrors like so many before him did.

It ties into the tone of the podcast and how it shifts. Arthur may need to be cruel at times, but that doesn't mean he needs to be a monster. Likewise, Malevolent may be a bleak story, but it is not one which needs to overly indulges in tragedy and darkness. Even within the episode itself, there are moments where Arthur and John laugh. There's an entire section in which Arthur interacts with a buopoth, and it's the most adorable thing ever. These moments provide a balance that help emphasize the impact of intense moments even more than if the entire story had just been trudged in grimdark.

(Putting the rest under a "Read More" section as to not make this post too long to scroll through)

As for the second theme, I particularly appreciate it as people who try to heal, typically victims of trauma, are often villanized for not being perfect, nice or behaving. Anyone who doesn't fit the mold of being sad and helpless via lashing out or express anger about their trauma get dogpiled with insults and accusations from those who refuse to understand them. Those who only want to imagine a narrative that recovery is always pretty and always going up with no relapses whatsoever. That narrative formed because society crafted it and enforced it with media tackling trauma victims in a shallow way at best. Because it's uncomfortable for society to face the truth that trauma is ugly, and those that went through it won't come out unscathed like people want them to.

The theme of names being significant is an uncommon but meaningful one. John Doe is a name to give the King in Yellow a new identity, a way to rebuild himself. Lilly is a name that meant a lot to John as the only form of human connection he had while Arthur was comatose and the catalyst to John becoming a better person. Faroe is a name that Arthur keeps recalling because he can't let go of his daughter and the trauma that came with it.

Even the name of the episode is important. I think "the Prison" truly is an apt title for this episode. Not only because this involves Arthur and John escaping the pit they're trapped it, but it's also a metaphor for Arthur's situation. His body is a prison for John that both want him to get out of, yet Arthur is the real prisoner as he loses control over everything from his body to his life. He is trapped in the past because he can never let go of Fareo. He can never forgive himself for causing her death through his neglect no matter how unintentional it was.

And he gave in at the end. He gave in to the past and went to the city to search for Faroe even though the cana instructed them to avoid the city. Even though so many signs point to it being yet another trap. Even though the chances of Fareo being there were next to none.

Yet John didn't protest. It really shows how much John has grown to emphathize with humanity. How he has grown from someone who is selfish and uses others to his whims, discarding them when they no longer serve him purpose to someone who may not fully understand humanity but can genuinely appreciate and care about it. He may not understand why Arthur still clings onto Faroe, but he understands Arthur deserves closure, so even if this may be a trap, he lets him walk in. We, the audience, may not fully understand either, but we understand this is a necessary step for Arthur even if it may be one that leads to his doom.

#Overall 10/10 episode!!! I love it #Now if you'll excuse me I'm gonna take a thousand year long nap #It's almost 4 AM but screw it I needed to get this out #I have so much more to say about Episode 19 #but I need SLEEP and it will take FOREVER and I have THINGS TO DO EOUGH. #But yeah I love love love this and I love Malevolent #What an outstanding podcast I love it #malevolent #malevolent podcast #malevolent spoilers #arthur lester #john doe malevolent #analysis #media analysis #character analysis #commentary #chris p fried rambles

[haintxblue]

still haven't deleted cos I can't get my art blog to download/back up for some reason and keep forgetting to retry

Spoiler free review ahead

Anyway since I'm still here: interesting experience with monkey man where I agree with almost all of the negative reviews but still liked it a lot. I am guessing maybe I just have different priorities from the bad reviewers so what's deal breakers to them were just minor drawbacks to me.

With that said I do get why a lot of people are going to find it frustrating. It really needed a much more brutal editor and maybe a little script doctoring in the back half. It feels a little bit like it knows it's a movie that's more style than substance but it keeps reaching for the substance and falling down (an apt metaphor, if you've seen it). And there's about fifteen minutes in the middle that could have come out entirely to no detriment whatsoever, in what feels like an attempt to bandage two things together that maybe didn't even need it and felt like they were building towards a reveal that, if it came, didn't seem like a reveal to me. There was also a scene near the end that was basically like "`what was even the point of that" that desperately needed cutting imo, it was only about forty seconds but it took me out pretty hard.

I think maybe the movie knows it's trying to do too much in some ways, but also I think it's ok for an action movie to just let things be set dressing. I do get why people are uncomfortable when the set dressing is sociopolitical commentary, but that doesn't bother me so much as the feeling that it knows it's failing to make it more than set dressing, halfheartedly attempting to course correct, and failing. Would have been better to lean in.

With all that said I thoroughly enjoyed it. I'm pretty hard to put off if the experience is mostly enjoyable, and it was to me. I read some people saying the fight scenes were hard to follow in the front half and strongly disagree, though - I normally struggle to follow messy chaotic frenetic fights on screen and I never felt confused. It's also pretty clear to me that the difference in the way the fights were shot and cut from the first half to the second was VERY intentional and in keeping with the movie thematically.

#Monkey man

[arcplaysgames]

Man do y'all remember when I was sad at the start of P4G because the game did not adequately pat my head and feed me soup and give me friends on day one like P3P did

that was fucking little leagues. I'm gonna light everyone in this game on fire.

Anyway, we are in the tutorial stages so lemme sum up except with there's weird shit I wanna pontificate on.

Reverie missed a bunch of school on his first day with frankly doesn't look amazing for him. We met Ryoji GODDAMN RYUJI on the roof, because all Persona games love the school roof, and he wants to go back to the App World so he can poke around on Kamoshida.

There is palpably some Beef between Ryuji and Kamoshida. There is some fucking t-bone 3-inch cut that I have seasoned in mushroom salt and fresh ground pepper and left to air-dehydrate for three days, there is soooo much beef between them.

In the Not-Velvet Room-- Look, I am gonna start calling it the VR for efficiency's skae but be aware I do not think this is actually the Velvet Room, or if it is then someone has booted Igor and is pretending to be him.

But yeah Notigor says our rehabilitation can begin and I just wanna claw my hair out. What's funny is I know for a lot of fans, Persona 5 was their entry point. Did they know this was as severely fucked as it is? I feel like the game is pushing Fucked As Hell vibes pretty well, so maybe it was obvious even to the initiated.

Oh so Notigor is the one pushing the unauthorized APK onto my phone. I think Reverie is rocking a Samsung, it's got that Chonk to it.

Also, I dunno what it's called in the Japanese... hang on, to google!

Isekainabi, or "Otherworldnavi" that's pretty good. Which, the adjustment of "navi" to "nabi" reminds me that Japanese doesn't use 'v' does it? Or.... wait.... R is also a no, right?

(That is shit I learned from fucking Metal Gear Solid 2 actually, because my beloved Problematic Fave Kojima called the big villains the La-Li-Lu-Le-Lo, because they were 'invisible', they weren't even a part of the language, metaphorically speaking, which when I understand that I thought was fucking smart as hell, though I imagine the original voice actors who had to say it a lot and rapidly did not agree.)

ANYWAY I AM GETTING DISTRACTED, POINT IS, I picked a hilariously un-apt name with Reverie Vantas. That is a tongue-twister and I am sorry.

what the fuck was i even talking about OH YEAH Netscape Navigator, yeah. That's our Dark Hour/TV World, the Metaverse. I find it cursorily interesting that Persona has many different manifestations of the whole Jungian Collective Subconsciousness. P4's TV World was fully separated and impossible to access without the power of Persona. But Reverie and Ryuji stumbled like idiots into the....

wait, that cutscene from the start, that was Reverie's awakening to Persona. So what caused it. Also: Is that relevant to the mystery here like it was in P4, because in P4 that was super important, and I would prefer it wasn't Super Important again lmao.

God the Izanami thing was dumb. ANY FUCKING WAY.

I briefly meet THAT ONE GIRL FROM THE INTRO on the train, and her personality traits seem to be "worryingly doormat-ish" and "thin'

Like man, P5R is not hitting me over the head with DIET SODA ADS but we are still fatphobic, don't forget! BTW if you want a Persona game that doesn't do that shit, P3P Girl Route baybeeeee best Persona.

I am apprently ribbon girl's senpai and she bows to me twice nad runs off to school. Later, gator.

holy shit this game doesn't fuck around with its classroom questions, are you kidding me

also I am sitting behind Moot in class. how's your life been since relinquishing 4chan, moot? I hope it's better.

Mitsuru would use her rapier to carve you like a chunk of roast.

Kamoshida's influence over everyone is kind of baffling to me. It's a VOLLEYBALL TEAM. Oh is that the Japanese equivalent of a football team? Because then I TOTALLY GET IT, CARRY ON.

Like, I understand sort of academically that having sports teams is good for students but also I fucking hate school sports culture. Dunno if its as vile in Japan as in America but if its even half as bad, yeah, abolish it.

Ryuji is so far not the brightest bulb on the tree, bless him. He keeps trying to locate a castle and getting frustrated. Finally, we put him out of his confused misery and use the app to make castle happen.

HE IS JEALOUS! In almost every jock there is a theatre kid's soul, crying to get out.

Ryuji has like no indoor voice, Morgana, I am sorry.

Also, I have so far zero indication of Morgana's gender, which I do like. 8) Gender don't matter, just don't call me a fucking cat.

There is a huge tutorial section, and I immediately understand why this game is +100 long, these sequences are much more complicated now. There's psuedo-stealth mechanics? Blurgh.

Ryuji wants to save the volleyball slaves and Morgana explains that these aren't actually them, they are cognitive copies that are.... essentially the projection Kamoshida has of each person in the school.

I don't wanna be a jerk Persona but this is adding more and more complexity to your already complex world. But maybe I am still in P4G mode, where every aspect of how the Midnight Channel worked was a clue. At this point, there is no central mystery.

hey yo what the fuck

Somehow Kamoshida broke Ryuji's fucking leg?????

What the fuck happened there? Also yeah, Ryuji, I don't know you super well yet but I'm with you, we can wreck this guy. Holy shit.

boy howdy getting your persona stings a bit in this one huh

Ryuji has Captain Kidd as his, with is pretty fun NGL. So our theme is literally Various Types Of Thieves in this game, huh? I'm cool with that.

#p5 #persona liveblog

[astro-break]

Thoughts on the 10th ep of Hypmic Rhyme Anima+. Spoilers beware

Season 1 | Ep.1 | Ep.2 | Ep.3 | Ep.4 | Ep. 5 | Ep. 6 | Ep. 7 | Ep. 8 | Ep. 9

LETS GOOOO MCD flashbackkkkk

Oh look finally a good look at TBH and the mastermind's faces, nice thanks OFC the big bag is Kaibyaku the medical dude

ah so in the end it all leads back to that company if all three of them worked in the same place

Ofc the classic cheek punch then pass out, always happens

LMAOO they knocked each others teeth out and made friendship bracelets out of it thats a romance right there.

Oh damn does that mean that kaibyaku has some of of medical issue? that was an IV in his arm im pretty sure or at least some sort of drip. Maybe Jakurai will play some sort of big end of series role that heals him? I hope not, that would be a bit boring but it would make sense since kujaku posse is the only duo not affiliated with the whole TBH trio thing

Leader battle lets goooo we'll probably get another leader song which is always fun

I hope we get a TBH one

EYYY HEADSET MIC LETS GOOO I looooveddd rosho's one and im so glad theres another one which is always fun

Huh mic embedded in the hand? Thats an interesting concept

[On a second rewatch I think its interesting how Kenji specifically says "I can't fall here. Not we. Theres some foreshadowing that he is the only real one here. He specifics in his rap vers that its "that wretched party" that belongs in a grave, not any of our characters in particular]

[also another detail. The necromancy + skull imagery to their rap verse…. they are bringing back old ghosts with their song… they are so tragic. The rap on as second watch is just so much more tragic once you know everything]

Kuko's rap uses the letters T B H as the starts of his verses which is fun

NIce imagery of three dragons fighting for dominance, a very apt metaphor for IchiSamaKuko who are just hothead extremes

huh wonder what was ripped up

oh thats a neat explanation of how they were able to do a lot of supernatural stuff. I feel like it would have been more interesting if it was a hallucination, but hey I'll take that L its not that bad even if a bit uninspired/not very well foreshadowed

Also the vibrations as controlling element, as someone who can hear electronics, is something that would work for me 100% wwwww I would go crazy if i had to hear those annoying sound waves 24/7

I mean exposition episode but its kinda cute actually? I hate that they're doing this after revealing that they're dead but it does put in the point that they were people, not good people, but still people

bro… bro… satoru specifically says in his rap that the world's our kitchen… he has so many kitchen metaphors here…. bro still holds his dream of opening a restaurant with his totally platonic life bro even after death… bro…..

I mean its not that bad of a motive, im not that convinced that they're in the wrong. I'm also very much a sucker for acts of destructive love which is why i may be more inclined to cheer for kaibyakumon

While I do wish that they had fleshed out Kenji's relationship with Satoru and Akira a bit more, I do feel like the duo's dynamic on its own was really well presented before the big reveal. Like what's Kenji's feelings about SatoAkira, why is he so invested in this whole plan other than borderline idolizing kaibyaku?

I feel its hilarious how kenji's just sitting there while kaibyaku is just going on his monologue wwww

Nice, i like how they used Oosaka's island nature into their planning but there Are other bridges going into the mainland im pretty sure?

okay but why should you care? Like hes doing a overall good? Kaibyakumon's goals are aligned with the overall cast's motive of making sure that the government is placed in check so if the team wants us to have a reason to root against them, gotta give a good reason, esp after that backstory

LMAO HIFUMI oh i feel so bad for him

#hypmic #hypnosis microphone #Hypnosis Mic: Division Rap Battle: Rhyme Anima+ #hypnosis mic rhyme anima #hypmic spoilers

[gabriella-trn1042]

I think this has started to become clear from some of her threads, but Spider Girl Gabi is more than a little bit of a mess, which honestly, just makes her a Spider Person in some ways.

Now seems like a good time to talk a bit more into some of her physical characteristics and her body dysmorphia with some of it.

Gabi's accident happened when she was around 13 - 14, which means the ol' puberty metaphor is all the more apt and being a 2099 Spider Person the physical changes were more pronounced. From Gabi's perspective she was in a lab accident while there with her father. She does not know what her father was working on, but we can kind of guess that he was experimenting on himself/trying to alter his DNA because of rapture etc. Minus the accidental spider, it may have done what it was meant to.

The TL:DR of it is that she's looking at graceful dancer inspired Gwen with a fair amount of jealousy while also chilling with Spider Ham bemoaning how much he misses the days of just being a plain old spider before he was bit by the irradiated pig saying "preach, lil' pig. I know those horrors well."

For those who are interested more about her physical characteristics below the cut.

We've covered most of the big ones already - red eyes, talons, fangs, hunger, organic webs and predatory vibes - but she also assumes her overall size was likely impacted by the lab-created Spider Person issue.

Gabi is pretty tall. She'd probably claim to be 5'10" - 5'11" but in reality she's probably closer to 6' - 6'1" which is totally clear to anyone looking at her, but she'll still lie. In truth, her height may have nothing to do with anything other than her plain old human genetics (Miggy's a big ol' guy after all), but she she definitely had some pretty immediate and painful growth spurts post-transformation so it helped things along at minimum.

She's more obviously muscular than some of the other Spider Girl's. She doesn't necessarily need to work to maintain these muscles thanks to altered DNA, but she also can't hide them. She can hide with less form-fitting clothes, but her arms, legs, and back muscles are bulkier than she would choose to be in another life. She is self-conscious about this and informs a lot of how she dresses.

Her organic webs also come out of spinnerets in her arms, just above the inside ofbher wrist. They aren't the most noticeable and to lay people, she can easily play it off as a scar or mole or what have you (besides if a lay person is most concerned about that, she's probably mostly in the clear lol), but she's very self-conscious about them around Spider People who being science-minded Spider People likely make a big deal about them and in a way that's not super mindful that she's their co-worker not their lab experiment.

She's proud of what she's able to do, all the more so when a Miguel is willing to say nice job to her, but she's very guarded and isolated even among Spider People in some cases by her own choice.

#headcanon #tw: body dysmorphia #disucssion only

[anettrolikova]

people in the blockchain world talk about “ossified protocols” a lot, but why is that an apt metaphor? What about protocols is, or can become, bone-like? I think it has to do with how protocols exist in time.

we can’t predict most things about the future, but some things we can predict with an eerie amount of confident precision. For example, I am pretty confident that this time 5 years from now, whether or not the US exists as a country, and whether or not zombies or aliens have taken over, we’ll still be driving on the right-hand side of the road on this continent and using 110V electricity. That’s because road rules constitute a pretty ossified protocol and are part of the bones of time. The electric grid is built around a set of standards and protocols and is also part of the bones of time. These social realities seem to have a preternatural stability across the fan of possible futures, and a kind of inflexible hardness we normally associate with the natural laws of physics.

One of the reasons the pandemic felt like such a dramatic disruption of life was that several foundational protocols of life, like shaking hands and smiling, got broken.

Protocols create artificial “vertebrate” time out of natural “invertebrate” time.

The same lens can be applied to the past. We structure our understanding of the past in terms of bone-like procedural social realities that don’t change easily, and induce a certain hard-edged quality in event streams. We have histories of the United States, China, the Catholic Church, and railroad technologies in large part because those entities enjoy an ontological stability that emerges out of the protocols defining their ossified social realities.

Protocols are a bit like laws of nature in this regard: defined by stable symmetries and conservation principles that limit the space of possible futures and pasts.

That they are the product of social contrivance and technological artifice doesn’t really matter. What matters is that they endure for long periods while changing slowly or not at all. They may be made-up and arbitrary, but they create persistent laws of social reality.

#bones #protocols #standards #structures

[homunculusgirldick]

Dark Souls and Hollow Knight

Ok, this whole thing is mostly for my girl @demigirlie but i got a bunch of thoughts about hollow Knight and Dark Souls. It has spoilers, for both.

So, I was confused about the whole infection thing in hollow knight, because i think i compared it with the undead curse in Dark Souls, and it is a pretty apt comparison.

In both stories, proudful god-kings realize their eternal kingdom and age might end, in dark souls it is clearly a sort of natural ocurrance, and the same is implied in hollow knight, nothing last eternal, the dawn will break for hallownest, and the night will come for the age of fire.

The kings hate this, so they fight it, and they commit a terrible crime, condeming their people, in order to keep their age, their rule, going beyond its due date.

By doing this both kings provoke an “stagnation” an era eternal, but stuck, and crumbling. In both cases, this breaking of the natural cicle causes a terrible thing, it makes things come back from the dead, it makes people into husks, and hollows. 

The difference seems of course, that the infection in hollow knight existed before the king comits his crime, he comits it in part to stop the infection, while in Dark Souls, it is clearl that, it was because the king tried to make his kingdom eternal, that the undead curse happened, it is a clear theme about how trying to opose the natural passage of time, trying to avoid death, avoid lost, avoid things from breaking apart, means only to rot, and stagnate, become a corpse, rather than living or dying. But while hollow knight doesn’t present this theme as explicitly as Dark Souls, i think it is still there, the pale king is still that proud ruler that refuses to let himself die, and his time to pass, even if, that is what is natural.

Both stories also share a variety of interesting aspects, like your main character in dark souls is called “choosen” but you later learn that you where just a random guy, tricked into thinking you where special.

While hollow Knight never calls you a choosen hero, it does i think give you the impression that you are special, before you find the statue of the hollow knight, a lot of people assume that they are the hollow knight, that the game is named after them, but then you learn, like in dark souls, that you are one in millions, a nobody that failed and that just managed to get further than the other dead or discarted. 

Both also have the promise to become a great hero and defeat a powerful legend, only to find that legend a husk of their former selves, and also find that, the great role you are supposed to take is simply to sacrifice yourself to maintain the rotting stagnation, replace the previous puppet, and eventually, be replaced by a future puppet, once you break as well. And that, the only better end is to usher in a terrible abyss of darkness, to bring the posibility of a diferent future, a change of age.

Also, i love how both games have this world building concepts, like the radiance and the age of fire, that are both real metaphisical parts of the setting, but also obvious metaphors. The wavering of the first flame is both a literal change in the in universe magic and world of dark souls, but also, a clear cut theme of the slow crumbling of an era, and a dominant rulling sistem.

The radiance is the goddess of light that controls dreams, but her sealing is also, taking away dreams, and taking away the dawn, so that the next day doesn’t come, again, so that change never happens.

#hollow knight #dark souls #hollow knigh spoilers #dark souls spoilers #stuff i write while on meds #thoughts on cool games

[nautilusopus]

18, 19, 8 and 1 for the ask game!

1) Who is your favorite character to write for and is this the character you find easiest to write for?

I mean Cloud obviously. The "six different anxiety disorders in a trenchcoat" aspect of him means he bounces nicely off pretty much every character or situation.

8) Do you take inspiration from real life? If so how do you incorporate it into your fics?

I mean there's the usual, "Oh yeah I watch for weird anecdotes or details and use those in writing," but everyone does those. The most important takeaway is just knowing how people fucking talk. (It actually infuriates me how people manage to struggle with dialogue. YOU'RE a people. YOU know how to talk. Just have them do that. Do you think another human being would say these things in this way? Great, then don't have them do that. Please you're slowly killing me.)

Some people double back and stutter and clarify more than others. Some people like turn of phrase. Others don't. Almost no one talks in a clean, unbroken line, and the ones that do have either had a moment to think about it or have had a moment of clarity, and then that needs to be incorporated into the dialogue: the thought process, the rhythm of what they're saying, so on and so forth. Writing dialogue might not be second nature to you, the writer, but talking is second nature to everyone with sufficiently language skills, in one form or another, whether or not they're thinking about what to say as they say it, and if they are, whether that makes them suddenly pivot on subject matter halfway through.

Everyone KNOWS these things, even if they don't know they know them, and in fact everyone does them every day if you are ever around another human being. Just do that.

18) What's the most obscure thing you've researched for a fic?

All the different ways you can apply for a doctorate in certain regions of France before realising I didn't give a shit. I should've never tried to do anything fun with Cissnei, she's caused me nothing but pain.

I don't even know if that's a good answer. Google thinks I actually for sure have crippling erectile dysfunction even more than Google usually assumes that. Does a set of all sets actually contain itself? Are any of my friends familiar enough with fluid dynamics to be able to calculate how long it would take something to float up a specific distance through water, as in several miles, and how buoyant is a human body anyway? What all is even in a blood test if we ignore the usual rules about sample viability? (Not a lot as it turns out which is why I had to lock myself into that stupid chromosome setup/payoff thing.)

I have done a frankly disgusting amount of number fiddling for the sake of TNI and I look forward to never doing it again.

19) What is some random info you happen to have that you used in a fic?

I'm decently-ish familiar with how engines work because I had a stupid gearhead phase in high school and therefore have decided that Fenrir's engine is a rotary that Cloud designed himself, and I shove this headcanon into every fic I can because I'M RIGHT.

I think it's apt, metaphorically speaking, and also given what Fenrir's canonical top speed is (a whopping 250 miles per hour -- would need to be packing some serious power under the hood without it weighing too much).

#asks #spitegarbage #lets-jam

[gothprentiss]

Hello please give commentary on the boxing au cos it’s my favourite thanks

yes! so! this one is a bit of a wander down memory lane since i don’t have any of my drafting notes, as far as i can tell, but (at characteristically great length):

i know i definitely had wanted, for a while, to write some sort of boxing au. james ellroy is one of my favorite writers and the boxing rivalry part of the black dahlia is the part i remember the best— i thought it was really incredible characterization and also really dynamic writing. probably i started writing this fic around when i was thinking about a sotl fic too— probably the three driving impulses were a) working more intentionally with lit that was really formative for me, b) realizing i’d rather reread my fave books than rewatch criminal minds again (lol), c) i think martial arts are generally a hot look on women. but also i think of ellroy’s writing as very like, stylish and sparse in a way that’s perfect for crime writing, and i wanted to try that on. i don’t think i really did, in part because his prose stylings are remarkably first-person and i’m not that kind of writer, but it was fun to try.

as i’m reading it now, i find it kind of endearingly clumsy— i think there’s something definitely off about the focalization, and i’ve always found my prose style a bit ungainly. like in the first place it’s always trapped between two poles (academic writing, and underdeveloped creative writing), but here you add a third, which is ellroy, whose prose is zippy and fast and highly colloquial, and it’s just kind of frankensteiny. also this fic is too long. i remember reading it and being like it’s too long, but i wrote this whole damn boxing scene and felt obligated to sketch out multiple rounds, and now here we are. it’s also trapped very clearly between the sort of like, thing about writing jemily (for me, at least), which is that what you have to get around with jj is her life, and what you have to get around with emily is granting her the right level of interiority. it’s typically easier for me to write jj as a way of looking at emily and dealing with her own life— it makes more sense than the reverse, because a lot of that would then have to be conducted in dialogue, which i hate to write. so that’s another thing here— on one hand, very experimental for me, on the other hand, very much squarely in a comfort zone in order to enable that experimentation.

in a lot of fics i remember pretty precisely where i started, or the multiple, i don’t know, nodes that i wrote outward from, but it’s surprisingly hard to tell with this one. here are some bits i remember starting with, though:

i wasn’t going to screenshot all of this but there’s a lot of early retreading of the gold vs silver metaphor, a riff on ellroy’s fire and ice thing—which also would have worked but struck me as less naturally apt. i spent some time on it because i thought it was fun, and i love to stack and overdetermine metaphors— probably the last 2 sentences in the second paragraph above are my favorite part of the whole fic. there’s also the obvious element of contrast in jj and emily, who are fairly polarized on levels of class, have the sort of contrastive girl roles (brunette and blonde, the two poles of 00s tv white woman personalities, yk), are differently reserved and tempermental, and obviously distinct color palettes too. i said above that i thought the fire and ice rivalry was really good characterization on ellroy’s part, and that’s because it really allowed bucky to speak about himself both as he was perceived, as he saw himself, and how he aspired to be and be perceived; it also allowed him to size himself up against lee, and many of those same matters of perception relative to lee, albeit secondhand. so what i had going with jj was, on one hand, seeing emily, seeing emily through the eyes of others, and looking at herself in those same terms. the thing the rivalry of contrasts produces is this kind of categorical thought (if x is true of emily, it must have its analogue in jj), which has some validity, but also— as we get to the end of the paragraph— doesn’t have much momentum, and is largely an aesthetic judgment. one of the things i was kind of playing with here and throughout is how the terms of the rivalry fail them, but also guide them.

the above i remember writing quite early on, in the sort of like exploratory writing stage where i was setting up contrasts. this comes later in the fic, but i’d initially had it earlier (which makes sense, very much a fic about the various things hands can do), with jj sizing them up in action settings. i.e., there was going to be a bit where jj is like, ‘actually it’s kind of wild that prentiss is into boxing given that she’s very much characterized by stillness [this still makes it into the fic but not so explicitly],’ but i got impatient with that part.

okay so THIS i remember because the line “some far-flung desert of the mind, governed by bizarro logic and surreal slips of sound and light” was written to replace a line which is in a different fic of mine, which i’d borrowed and then decided it was totally out of place here. i don’t like the replacement, actually— it reads like a sort of terribly amateurish description of dali’s persistence of memory, but i’m not gonna fix it now lol. but i did have fun with the win under her belt / medal around her neck thing. i don’t think this has much payoff for readers (maybe?), but i did think it was fun to pivot between idioms/cliches in a way that’s like, halfway materially meaningful.

i’ve had to actually reread this fic to comment on it (cursed), so here are some things i remember really leaning on while writing:

i think jj’s juvenile insect collecting (was it just butterflies?) is kind of an early season deep cut, but this is a fic that’s really, like, relishing in how technical language and practices can be analogized to all sorts of settings, and have implications there. for example, the sort of post adrenaline rush slump / parallel to dom drop i was writing for jj— part of that is the fact that she’s still thinking of them as sparring, as rivals, and as engaging in (if minimal) violence. this sort of budding mutual attraction (she’s been looking at emily, hard, but not thinking about how that looking works) makes her amateurish, on one hand (in a variety of ways, from hitting too hard to feeling guilty about participating in recreational contact sports), and kind of traps her in boxing on the other. an embrace is like a clinch (literally sometimes called a hug, very on the nose), and is a way of limiting your opponent’s offensive capacity (they can’t punch freely, can’t set up combinations, can’t build momentum), and so on, and this colors how jj thinks. i think the same is true here— like again what I’m getting at is this sudden reversal for jj, where she feels a sinister edge to her interests. so this fic is just them hooking up in a locker room, but part of jj’s journey is making peace with herself again— or more specifically, finding that peace that’s already there, that she’s just lost for a bit.

that reversal was also what i was thinking about here, and comes full circle in the question of whether jj’s feeling turned on or riled up— words which mean, on one hand, very different things, but also are nevertheless fairly synonymous. so here, as above, it’s a question of like— what is jj even able to think here, and how is she getting past this moment where she’s only seeing things in negative terms. it’s more about care and mutuality than having sex with a woman being the ultimate panacea, but you know. that also fixes things.

also, as i said above, this is kind of a fic about perception, and there’s some of that strewn around as well:

just like— looking? seeing and re-seeing. it’s occurring to me now that this fic is extremely about Interpretation and Perception, which is very annoying english major behavior, but wcyd. i also do simply love to return to things. not foreshadowing but figuration, maybe, with full and gratuitous apologies to auerbach.

this is sort of way too long and simply noting themes. i guess the other thing was this:

which is like, again, full circle gold and silver, and again about jj’s own self-awareness and perception. i think if i were to write another scene to this fic it would be jj just being like, damn i have been doing a whole lot of looking and no seeing! but i also (iirc) was thinking here about what kinds of commonalities jj sees between herself and emily, particularly in this moment where she has ground to feel quite superior (winning the fight) but instead is feeling quite vulnerable, and at the mercy of a lot of new emotional stuff going on. an audience is on one hand just a figure of speech, but on the other hand it’s also the language of the spectated match still pervading jj’s thought process, and it’s something she’s rebutting, thinking past that setting to the one she’s actually in. it’s also something she can play with, as they’re makin VERY dumb jokes about gold and silver, as my spectacular flair for incredibly weird dialogue rears its tiny furry head.

so like, yeah? i think my concern throughout this was that jj was merely a way of looking, or a perspective, which was partly intended and partly unconscious and i think i’ve made my peace with that unconscious aspect, due to it being fairly critical to what this fic is. oh and the FBI female body inspector shirt gag, which is terrible but it makes me laugh.

#fic #lmao this is very long and probably quite boring too condolences to anyone who opens the readmore xoxo

[hamliet]

The Crows Summon the Sun

Or, Hamliet’s review of Shadow & Bone, which gets a 4.5/5 for enjoyment and a 3.5/5 in terms of writing.

The true heroes of this story and the saviors of the show are the Crows. However, the problem is that the show then has an uneven feel, because the strength of the Crows plotline highlights the weaknesses of the trilogy storyline. But imo, overall, the strengths overshadow (#punintended) the weaknesses. 

I’ll divide the review into the narrative and the technical (show stuff, social commentary), starting with narrative.

Narrative: The Good 

It’s What The Crows Deserve

I went into the show watching it for the Crows; however, knowing that their storyline was intended to be a prequel, I wasn’t terribly optimistic. And while it is a prequel, the characters have complete and full arcs that perfectly set them up for the further development they will have in the books (which I think should be the next season?). Instead of retreading the arcs they’d have in the books, which is how prequels usually go, they had perfect set up for these arcs. It’s really excellent. 

Jesper, Inej, and Kaz are all allowed to be flawed, to have serious conflicts with one another, and yet to love each other. They feel like a found family in the best of ways. Kaz is the perfect selfish rogue; he’s a much more successfully executed Byronic hero than the Darkling, actually. Inej is heroic and her faith is not mocked, yet she too is flawed and her choices are not always entirely justified, but instead left to the audience to ponder (like killing the girl), which is a more mature writing choice that I appreciated. 

Jesper is charming, has a heart of gold despite being a murderer and on the surface fairly greedy, and MILO THE EMOTIONAL SUPPORT GOAT WAS THE BEST THING EVER. I also liked Jesper’s fling with Dima but I felt it could be better used rather than merely establishing his sexuality, like if Jesper and Dima had seen each other one more time or something had come of their tryst for the plot/themes/development of Jesper. 

Nina and Matthias’s backstory being in the first season, instead of in flashbacks, really works because it automatically erases any discomfort of the implications of Nina having falsely accused Matthias that the books start with. We know Nina, we know Matthias, we know their motivations, backgrounds, and why they feel the way we do. It’ll be easy for the audience to root for them without a lot of unnecessary hate springing from misunderstanding Nina (since she’s my favorite). Matthias’s arc was also really strongly executed and satisfyingly tragic. Their plotline was a bit unfortunately disconnected from the rest of the story, but Danielle Gallagan and Callahan Skogman have absolutely sizzling chemistry so I found myself looking forward to their scenes instead of feeling distracted. Also? It’s nice seeing a woman with Nina’s body type as a romantic and powerful character. 

Hamliet Likes Malina Now

Insofar as the trilogy storyline goes, the best change the show made was Mal. He still is the same character from the books, but much more likable. The pining was... a lot (too much in episode 4, I felt) but Malina is a ship I actually enjoyed in the show while I NOTP’d it in the books. Mal has complexity and layers to his motivations (somewhat) and a likable if awkward charm. Archie Renaux was fantastic. 

Ben Barnes is the perfect Aleksandr Kirigan, and 15 year old me, who had the biggest of big crushes on Ben Barnes (first celebrity crush over a decade ago lol), was pretty damn happy lol. He’s magnificantly acted--sympathetic and terrifying, sincerely caring and yet villainous in moments. Story-wise, I think it was smart to reveal his name earlier on than in the books, because it helps with the humanization especially in a visual medium like film. Luda was a fitting (if heartbreaking) backstory, but it is also hard for me to stomach knowing what the endgame of his character is. Like... I get the X-men fallacy thing, but I hope the show gives more kindness to his character than the books did, yet I’m afraid to hold my breath. Just saying that if you employ save the cat, if you directly say you added this part (Luda) to make the character more likable (as the director did) please do not punish the audience for feeling what you intended. 

I also liked the change that made Alina half-Shu. It adds well to her arc and fits with her character, actually giving her motivations (she kinda just wants to be ordinary in a lot of ways) a much more interesting foundation than in the books. Also it’s nice not to have another knock-off Daenerys (looking to you Celaena and book!Alina). Jessie Mei Li does a good job playing Alina’s insecurities and emotions, but... 

Narrative: The Ehhhhhhh

Alina the Lamp

Sigh. Here we go. Alina has little consistent characterization. She’s almost always passive when we see her, yet she apparently punches an officer for calling her a name and this seems to be normal for her, but it doesn’t fit at all with what we know about her thus far. Contradictions are a part of humanity, but it’s never given any focus, so it comes across as inconsistent instead of a flaw or repression. 

I have no idea what Alina wants, beside that she wants to be with Mal, which is fine except I have no idea what the basis of their bond is. Even with like, other childhood friends to lovers like Ren/Nora in RWBY or Eren/Mikasa in SnK, there’s an inciting moment, a reason, that we learn very early on in their story to show us what draws them together. Alina and Mal just don’t have that. There’s the meadow/running away thing, but they were already so close, and why?  Why, exactly? What brought them together? The term “bullies” is thrown around but it isn’t ever explored and it needed to be this season. If I have to deal with intense pining for so many episodes at least give me a foundation for their devotion. You need to put this in the beginning, in the first season. You just do.

A “lamp” character is a common metaphor to describe a bad character: essentially, you could replace the character with a lamp and nothing changes. Considering Alina’s gift is light, it’s a funnily apt metaphor, but it really does apply. Her choices just don’t... matter. She could be a special lamp everyone is fighting over and almost nothing would change. The ironic thing is that everyone treating her like a fancy lamp is exactly the conflict, but it’s never delved into. We’re never shown that Alina is more than a lamp. She never has to struggle because her choices are made for her and information is gifted to her when she needs it. Not making choices protects Alina from consequences and the story gives her little incentive to change that; in fact, things tend to turn out better when she doesn’t make choices (magic stags will arrive). 

Like... let’s look at a few occasions when Alina almost or does make choices. For example, she chooses to (it seems) sleep with Kirigan, but then there’s a convenient knock at the door and Bhagra arrives with key information that changes Alina’s mind instantly despite the fact that Bhagra’s been pretty terrible to her. If you want to write a woman realizing she’s been duped by a cruel man, show her discovering it instead of having the man’s abusive mother tell her when she had absolutely no such suspicions beforehand. There’s no emotional weight there because Alina doesn’t struggle. 

When she is actually allowed to carry out a bad choice, the consequences are handwaved away instead of built into a challenge for her. Like... Alina got her friends killed. More than once. I’m not saying she’s entirely to blame for these but could we show her reacting to it? Feeling any sort of grief? She never mentions Raisa or Alexei after they’re gone, just Mal, and I’m... okay. They were there because of you. Aren’t you feeling anything? Aren’t you sad? The only time Alina brings up her friends’ deaths is to tell Kirigan he killed her friends when they were only there because she burned the maps. She yells at Kirigan for “never” giving her a choice, but she almost never makes any, so why would he? Alina has the gall to lecture Genya about choices, but she herself almost never has to make any. 

Which brings me to another complaint in general: Alina’s lack of care for everyone around her when they’re not Mal, even if they care for her. Marie dies because of her (absolutely not her fault of course) but as far as we know she never even learns about Marie. She certainly doesn’t ever ask about her or Nadia. Alina seems apathetic at best to people, certainly not compassionate or kind. 

The frustrating thing is that there is potential here. Like, it actually makes a lot of psychological sense for an orphan who has grown up losing to be reluctant to care for people outside of her orbit and that she would struggle to believe she can have any say in her destiny (ie make choices). It’s also interesting that a girl who feels like an outsider views others outside her. But the show never offers examines Alina’s psychology with any depth; it simply tells us she’s compassionate when she is demonstrably not, it tells us she makes decisions when it takes magical intervention to do so. It’s a missed opportunity. This does not change between episodes 1 and 8, despite the episodes’ parallel structures and scenes, which unintentionally reinforces that Alina had little real development. 

Inej and ironically Jesper and Kaz embody the concept of “mercy” far better and with far more complexity than Alina does. The Crows have reactions to the loss of people who even betray them (Arken, etc), learn, and course-correct (or don’t) when they are even loosely involved in having strangers die. They’re good characters because they change and learn and have their choices matter. When they kill we see them wrestle with it and what this means even if they are accustomed to doing so. Jesper can’t kill in front of a child. Kaz wonders what his killings do to Inej’s idea of him.

Narrative: The Mixed Bag

Tropes, Themes, Telling vs. Showing

So the show’s themes in the Alina storyline are a mess, as they are in the trilogy too. Tropes are a very valuable way to show your audience what you’re trying to say. They’re utilized worldwide because they resonate with people and we know what to expect from them. The Crows' storyline shows us what it wants us to learn.

Preaching tells, and unfortunately, the trilogy relies on telling/preaching against fornicationBad Boys. It’s your right to write any trope or trample any trope you want--your story--but you should at least understand what/why you are doing so. The author clearly knows enough about Jungian shadows and dark/light yin/yang symbolism to use it in the story, but then just handwaves it away as “I don’t like this” but never does so in a narratively effective way: addressing the appeal in the first place. If you really wanna deconstruct a trope, you gotta empathize with the core of the reason these tropes appeal to people (it allays deep fears that we are ourselves unlovable, through loving another person despite how beastly they can be), and address this instead of ignoring it. Show us a better way through the Fold of your story. Don’t just go around it and ignore the issue.

The trilogy offers highly simplistic themes at best--bad boy bad and good boy good, which is fine-ish for kid lit but less fine for adult complexity, which the show (more so than the books) seems to try to push despite not actually having much of it.

Alina and Mal are intended to be good, we’re told they are, but I’m not sure why beyond just that we’re told so. Alina claims the stag chose her, but in the show it’s never explained why at all. Unlike with Kaz, Inej, Jesper, and hell even Matthias and Nina, we don’t see Alina or Mal’s complex choices and internal wrestling. 

Like, Inej’s half-episode where she almost killed the guy they needed was far more character exploration than Alina has the entire show, to say nothing of Inej’s later killing which not only makes her leaps and bounds more interesting, but ironically cements her as a far more compelling and yes, likable, heroine than Alina. We see Inej’s emotional and moral conflict. We can relate to her. We see Kaz struggling with his selfishness and regrets, with his understanding of himself through his interactions with and observations of Inej, Alina, the Darkling, Arken, and Jesper.

We don’t explore what makes Mal or Alina good and what makes them bad. We don’t know what Alina discovers about herself, what her power means for her. We are told they are good, we are told she knows her power is hers, but never shown what this means or what this costs them/her. Their opportunities to be good are handed to them (the stag, Bhagra) instead of given to them as a challenge in which they risk things, in which doing good or making a merciful choice costs them. Alina gets to preach about choices without ever making any; Inej risks going back to the Menagerie to trust Kaz. Her choices risk. They cost. They matter and direct her storyline and her arc, and those of the people around her.

Production Stuff:

The Good: 

The production overall is quite excellent. The costumes, pacing, acting, and cinematography (for example, one of the earliest scenes between the Darkling and Alina has Alina with her back to the light, face covered in his shadow, while the Darkling’s face is light up by her light even if he stands in the shadows) are top-notch. The soundtrack as well is incredible and emphasizes the scenes playing. The actors have great chemistry together, friend chemistry and romantic when necessary (Mal and Alina, the Darkling and Alina, Kaz and Inej, Nina and Matthias, David and Genya, etc.) All are perfectly cast. 

The Uncomfortable Technicalities Hamliet Wants to Bitch About:

The only characters from fantasy!Europe having any trace of an accent reminiscent of said fantasy country's real-world equivalent are antagonists like Druskelle (Scandinavia) and Pekka (Ireland). When the heroes mostly have British accents despite being from fantasy Russia and Holland, it is certainly A Choice to have the Irish accent emphasized. The actor is British by the way, so I presume he purposely put on an Irish accent. I'm sure no one even considered the potential implications of this but it is A Look nonetheless.

The Anachronisms Hamliet Has a Pet Peeve About: 

The worldbuilding is compelling, but the only blight on the worldbuilding within the story itself (ignoring context) was that there are some anachronisms that took me out of the story, particularly in the first episode where “would you like to share with the class” and “saved by the horn” are both used. Both are modern-day idioms in English that just don’t fit, especially the latter. The last episode uses “the friends we made along the way.” There are other modern idioms as well.

IT’S STARKOVA and Other Pet Peeves Around the Russian Portrayal 

Russian names are not hard, and Russian naming systems are very, very easy to learn. I could have waved “Starkov” not being “Starkova,” “Nazyalensky” not being “Nazyalenskaya,”  and “Safin” not being “Safina” as an American interpretation (since in America, the names do not femininize). However, “Mozorova” as a man is unfathomable and suggests to me the author just doesn’t understand how names work, which is a bit... uh okay considering a simple google search gets you to understand Russian names. They aren’t hard. I cannot understand why the show did not fix this. It is so simple to fix and would be a major way to help the story’s overall... caricature of Russia. 

Speaking of that... Ravka is supposedly Russian-based, but it is more accurately based on the stereotypes of what Americans think of Russia. Amerussia? Russica? Not great. 

The royals are exactly what Americans think of the Romanovs, right down to the “greasy” “spiritual advisor” who is clearly Rasputin and which ignores the Romanov history, very real tragedy, and the reason Rasputin was present in the court. The religion with all its saints is a vapid reflection of Russian Orthodoxy. The military portrayal with its lotteries and brutality and war is how the US views the Russian military. The emphasis on orphans, constant starvation, classification, and children being ripped from their homes to serve the government is a classic US understanding of USSR communism right down to the USSR having weapons of destruction the rest of the world fears (Grisha). Not trying to defend the Soviet Union here at all, but it is simplistic and reductive and probably done unconsciously but still ehhhh. 

However, I’m not Russian. I just studied Russian literature. I’ve seen very little by way of discussion of this topic online, but what I do see from Russian people has been mixed--some mind, some don’t. The reality is that I actually don’t really mind this because it’s fantasy, though I see why some do. I'm not like CANCEL THIS. So why am I talking about this beyond just having a pet peeve?

Well, because it is a valid critique, and because it doesn’t occur in a vacuum. The Grishaverse is heralded as an almost paragon for woke Young Adult literature, which underlines itself what so frustrates me about how literary circles discuss issues of diversity and culture. Such praise, while ignoring its quasi-caricature of Russia, reflects a very ethnocentric (specifically American) understanding of culture, appropriation, and representation. All stories are products of their culture to various extents, but it bothers me on principle what the lit community reacts (and overreacts sometimes?) to and what people give a pass to. The answer to what the community reacts to and what it gives a pass always pivots on how palatable the appropriation is to American understandings and sensibilities. There’s nuance here as well, though. 

I'm not cancelling the story or thinking it should be harshly attacked for this, but it is something that can be discussed and imo should be far more often--but with the nuance it begs, instead of black/white. But that’s a tall ask. 

#s&b #hamliet reviews #shadow and bone #six of crows #kanej #jesper fahey #kaz brekker #inej ghafa #alina starkov #malyen oretsev #the darkling #darklina #malina #aleksander kirigan #netflix shadow and bone #s&b review

[tuiyla]

idk if you've said anything like this before but you're the only glee & avatar person i see anymore sooo... what kind of benders do you think all the glee kids would be (or just the ones you feel like talking about lol)

Ah yes, the intersection of Glee and Avatar is... quite something lmao. I think I listed them out like a year ago and on a different platform so that's no longer relevant anyway. These are most vibes-based but Avatar does have a pretty neat system of symbolism behind the elements so I'll try to keep that in mind - unfortunately, Glee lacks any kind of thematic consistency lmao.

Fire

I've seen people say water as Santana's element (in a non-Avatar context) and as interesting as I find that choice, I kinda can't not go with fire for her. I think she'd initially rely a lot on anger and I like the idea that she needs to be more like a waterbender and find that push and pull balance. Can be a chaotic and destructive force but also someone who breathes life into things, metaphorically? Heck yeah.

Rachel’s the most difficult character for me to envision in the Avatarverse and I feel like this is a pretty surface level choice but idk, it’s her drive. That passion and persistence, the way she burns so brightly in spite and because of everything. And she will not shine with a lesser intensity for anyone.

Blaine’s friendliness also makes me think of air or others for him but I think the passion with which he creates makes a case for fire. Because fire is creation, and I think the fire peeps together could represent different but equally fascinating aspects of the element. He can be intense like Pezberry but is more aware of not, well, burning out as it was. Like a more lowkey firebender? But other elements could be compatible too.

Air

Mike as major air vibes, with his fluidity and easy-going attitude, willingness to remove personal glory, all that. He’d be such a fun airbender, showing off on his glider and all. I’m also manifesting Harry Shum to play some kind of role in the franchise, whether that’s Avatar Studios or the Netflix live-action.

While I’m drawn to the idea of fire and water Brittana and the binary opposition there, I think air fits Brittany more. She’s one of the least grounded characters and very much about different perspectives, finding her own way, that eccentricity that we see from flashbacks with the Air Nomads. She’d follow her own path for sure.

I swear I only thought of Theo after I thought of this, but Artie. Bending is something that can turn traditional disabilities into strengths in the Avatarverse and I like the idea of air being an escape for Artie where he’s flying free. His creative vision also makes me think of airbending and how it’s full possibilites and the freedom to do whatever you want.

Water

I can see Quinn being a lot things depending on which personality she's using that day but I gravitate towards water for her. Sort of ice queen vibes, starts out solely as a healer but breaks away from her traditional family. I also think she'd be the most likely to dabble in bloodbending just because of the thematic importance of generational trauma and breaking the cycle there. Out of all the elements and subtypes of bending, I'm the most fascinated by bloodbending but convo for another day haha. Water is also the element of change and that’s a huuuge thing for Quinn, learning to embrace it.

Kurt, and I can’t really put my finger on why. I suppose, the adaptability, associating him with the colour blue, maybe the defying of traditional gender roles too. I could see him being air as well but yeah I’m going with water.

Sam could probably be different ones depending on the season but there’s something about the fluidity of water, the sense of community and adapting to different tides. Push and pull also feels kinda apt for him and I think he embodies different qualities of the element than Quinn and Kurt do but still fits. A more lowkey waterbender.

Earth

Finn could be different things depending on how you read him and I’m tempted to say fire because of his temper but earth feels more accurate. He’s stubborn and finds it hard to find a different perspective but once he opens up his world he can be a really grounding presence for others. There’s also a special kind of community feeling to the Earth Kingdom where they’re quite scattered generally but have this greater sense of belonging that I vibe with for Finn, who does have this arc of being the uniter.

Puck goes here because of his toughness but I also like a metalbending arc for him. Metalbending is about pressure, and social pressure hardening you until you can turn it around and live by your own terms. I think Puck has a lot of redefining to do and I like the idea of him starting as such an indelicate earthebnder and learning to appreciate and use the finer things. Handle things with more care as it was.

Tina could also be water on a different day but today I’m feeling earth for her. The stability, but also the danger of being stagnant and struggling to break free of the mold others have created for her. The power to shape so much around her but the willingness to do so being a key component. Also the endurance of putting up with so much, often unappreciated. Yeah, today I’m feelign earthbender Tina.

And, finally, hear me out... Mercedes as the Avatar. I see maybe earth being her base element but I just vibe with the idea of her being the master of all four elements, the one being the most balanced and capable. She's also the only one I'd trust with my life, frankly.

Shout out to @randomcanbian and @md-drawz who influenced some of this!

#angelhummel #glee asks #sorry it's been a few days but this was fun! #glee avatar au #wow what a tag lol #sorting nd #i need a better tag for new directions posts? #eh future problem

[baixueagain]

I haven't read hp in a long time, so I may be wrong. But wasn't the thing about house-elves wanting to stay slaves also a critic of Hermione's behavior and how she thought that just she was doing the right thing in her mindset didn't mean it was the same thing for the people concerned, and that she was basically trampling over them to "enlighten" them?

Yeahhhh the house elf thing is...well, honestly I don’t actually think it’s nearly as bad as people say it is. The metaphor she’s using is (like the werewolf thing) insensitive and could’ve been handled way, way better, but the fundamental message of it isn’t actually that controversial or hideous.

First of all, there’s the whole idea that JKR invented a race of slaves. I’m leery of this statement, because throughout HP, especially in the early books when house elves are introduced, JKR plays a lot with classic folklore. House elves/fairies, while not being as well-known in America, are a pretty common trope in European and British folklore. There are dozens of stories and legends and folk tales about how people can leave out butter or other things for the spirits of the house (often elves or fairies), and that in exchange the spirits would clean and do other chores for you. So JKR picked that up and ran with it, and asked, okay, what if those stories were real, but wizards figured out a way to manipulate that traditional exchange into a form of exploitation?

JKR pretty clearly problematizes what’s happened to the house elves from the get-go when we meet Dobby. Those who treat elves as subservient and inherently lesser are consistently portrayed as straight up evil (Lucius Malfoy, the Ministry statue, etc). Harry isn’t actually that dismissive of Hermione’s views, either. He wrestles with it, too, and feels distinctly uncomfortable, but for some time he doesn’t really seem to know what else to do except to go along with it - which, while not a good thing, is a completely normal reaction for a young teenager to have when faced with that kind of situation. Furthermore, while in general house elves are “said” to be happy with their situation, the two major house elf characters (Dobby and Kreacher) are portrayed as distinctively unhappy about it from the moment of their introduction, though Kreacher has clearly internalised things. Even Sirius’s mistreatment of Kreacher is portrayed as a massive flaw in his character and a giveaway that he’s not exactly the perfect Cool Uncle Type that we originally see him as. Finally, don’t forget that one of the most triumphant moments of DH is Kreacher getting fed the fuck up with the way he’s been treated all his life and leading what amounts to a house elf revolution against those who would keep house elves completely and utterly subservient for the rest of time.

As for Hermione, IMO she’s portrayed as having her heart in the right place but going about things all wrong, to the point that her ignorance about the situation becomes comedic. Which...honestly, that comes across as a pretty apt criticism of the “saviour” types who really sincerely do want to fix the world but end up just talking over the people they’re trying to help - and ultimately pushing those people away.

JKR never actually questions whether or not slavery is a moral evil. What is questioned, however, is this: when someone in an unhappy situation says that they’re happy, how far can and should we go to help them without it becoming a violation of their consent and free will? And that’s not at all a new question in fantasy and sci-fi. Star Trek has asked it. Doctor Who has asked it. Even the Hitchhikers Guide books have asked it. 

Example: I have women relatives who truly sincerely and whole-heartedly believe that women were put on this earth to be subservient to men. They were raised to believe this and have never questioned it. If you asked them if they’re happy, they’d say yes, and tbh, I believe them: they are lucky enough that the men they’ve married are legitimately kind and loving husbands. However, I still find their situation to be morally abhorrent and I fundamentally disagree with how they view femininity and marriage. So what can I do? I’ve had arguments with them about it, and they won’t budge. I’ve tried to expose them to literature on women’s liberation and they dismiss it. In fact, it’s only made them get defensive and dig in their heels, because they resented me telling them that their worldview was an unhealthy and wrong one. Who was I, after all, to tell them that they were wrong to be happy with their lives? Am I supposed to end their marriages by force and strong-arm them into feminism, or is that in and of itself a violation of their consent and free will?

There’s no easy answers to those questions. There never has been and never will be. And I think that’s what Rowling was attempting to wrestle with. Did she do it clumsily? Yes. Should she have chosen a different metaphor other than slavery? Very probably. Is it open to criticism? Yes again. Has she written other cringe-worthily bad and ignorant things into HP? Absolutely - Cho Chang is the shining example, IMO, though there are plenty more.

However, I also think it’s extremely disingenuous to paint the house elf plotline as promoting/condoning slavery, telling people that they should be content with their lot in life, or mocking those who try to challenge the status quo. That reading of HP ignores a metric shitload of evidence to the contrary, especially in the later books. And while I love literary criticism and think there’s plenty to be criticised in the HP books, this is one of those things that I truly do believe is not only unfair, but the product of extremely selective reading.

#jkr #jk rowling #house elves #harry potter #meta

[otterskin]

Loki and Letters - Part π - The Time Keepers

This is feeling very relevant right now after the last episode. Here's a new pic of the runes behind the Time Keepers:

So, what is this? I previously posited that it looks like a combination of Kenazes/Kaunazes, and I think that can still hold. It looks like a mirror has been held up to two sets of Kenazes and created the reflection, which makes sense for the various 'reflections' we see of Loki. It also implies these Time Keepers are reflections of each other. It also still looks a lot like Jera/Jeran, the rune for controlling time and which represents the harvest (also connecting it to Sætere, another kenning for Loki, if you remember that from a previous post - we do a lot of callbacks here).

Wikipedia has some interesting things to say about Jera. To quote:

As the only rune of the Elder Futhark which was not connected, its evolution was the most thorough transformation of all runes, and it was to have numerous graphical variants.[2]In the later period of the Elder Futhark, during the 5th to 6th centuries, connected variants appear, and these are the ones that give rise to the derivations in Anglo-Saxon (as ᛄ ger and ᛡ ior) and Scandinavian (as ᛅ ár) traditions.

So those symbols might be worth keeping an eye out for in future and past episodes, as they could represent 'variant' time and connecting 'variants', but I'm stretching a bit. But here's a look at Jera's different variants over time, in case these shapes show up later:

However, it might be another rune we've covered here previously, when talking about Eternals - Ing/Inguz/Ingwaz, named after the hero Yngvi, who united warring tribes together as family.

Or its variant:

To quote Rune Secrets, first Google hit if not necessarily the highest academic resource, Ingwaz is the:

Rune of isolation or separation in order to create a space or place where the process of transformation into higher states of being can occur. Rune of gestation and internal growth.

Interesting. Very interesting. That is their goal with this series and with Loki, after all. It also seems to tie into the realm Loki finds himself in in the Post-Credit scene of the episode.

It also mirrors Kenaz and its 'destructive/beneficial potential and transformation' well.

This rune is also about bringing together different tribes and joining them as family. It seemed apt for Eternals, and might just be relevant here as well as the Variants all come together. To further the possible relevance of that linked old post, names and the importance of them was again highlighted in episode 4, as it was in 3. Being just a 'number' was an insult Sylvie threw at B-15. I would say that letters/names and their significance as a means of controlling others will continue to be an emerging theme. Whether Loki will go on a spiritual journey a la Odin and 'sacrifice himself to himself' remains to be seen - or maybe we just saw that happen. Is Loki 'dead' in this limbo? Metaphorically or otherwise? Is this where the journey towards knowledge of the self and the universe begins, and with it understanding of the 'runes'?

I can stretch pretty far and I'm willing to try.

#loki meta #runes #loki #loki 2021 #meta #jera #ingwaz #time keepers #huginn and muninn

[septembercfawkes]

Dos and Don'ts for Writing Your Viewpoint Character's Voice

Recently I had to introduce a new viewpoint character into one of my WIPs, and it was tricky. In the process, I was reminded of a few things that do work well, and that don't work well.

But first, let's review what character voice actually is, because for a lot of us, it feels elusive and magical--like something that just "happens" (sorta like how people view theme). Here is my voice equation:

What the character thinks about + How he or she says it = Voice

I already did an article breaking this down here, that you can read if you want to know more about this. And it should be said that one of the key components to crafting a voice, is working from the inside, out. You need to really know your character, first. You need to know his or her wants, contradictions, flaws, motives, fears--all that jazz.

But today, I want to talk about actually putting that voice onto the page. Because sometimes, even when you know the equation and character, it can still feel elusive when you go to actually write. In part, in reality, this is because--like everything in writing--we are trying to take a notion, an aesthetic, or a feeling that is somewhat abstract, and make it concrete with actual words.

And when you are doing this with a brand new character, it's hard not to fall back on other voices you've already used. Or already heard.

I have no problem if you want to grab inspiration from other characters, but since this character is a different person, he or she needs to sound like a different person.

So let's assume you already know the character rather well.  

From that point, I've found there are a few things that are usually best avoided when working with a viewpoint character's voice, and things that are usually good ideas to implement when working with one.  

Avoid

"Always" Sentence Structures (ex., always talks in long sentences or short sentences)

- When looking at developing voice, it might seem like a good idea to play with sentence structure--heck, it is a good idea, to an extent. But if you are too rigid with it, there are problems. The most obvious is that trying to read a story where every sentence is about the same length is a terrible experience for the reader. But it's more than that. Sentence structure is also used to control pacing, tone, and emotional experience. If you get too locked into a specific type of sentence structure, you doom other parts of your story. Also, most people don't adhere to a specific structure, constantly, in real life either.

Dominating Emotions that Undercut the Story

- If you are writing in a voice where the viewpoint character almost always sounds calm or relaxed--guess what? Chances are it's going to minimize the tension you have in your story. Because if they are calm, the reader is calm. If they aren't worried, the reader isn't worried. The only way you can get away with this consistently, is if you are writing a story with extremely high stakes at every turn, so that the calmness is a counterpoint that adds humor or irony. Likewise, a character who is consistently sad about whatever, might start to sound melodramatic--and when you get to the really sad part later in the story, it won't be as powerful, because we've already spent so much time feeling sad. In short, frankly, some dominating emotions work better as a viewpoint character's voice than others. (And every character should have their own dominating emotions.) Avoid dominating emotions that are going to undercut the power of your story.

Relying too Heavily on Accents

- There was a time where people did not really know what a particular accent sounded like, so it was helpful to actually write how that accent sounded in the text. Today's audience is different. Most of us have heard all kinds of accents. And if we don't know one, we can look it up online. Today, it's better to sprinkle in a few regional phrases here and there to remind us of the character's accent and background, rather than write the whole thing that way. (Not to mention, that makes it more difficult to read).

Stock Voices

- Once in a while you run into a character voice that sounds like a hundred other character voices of that genre. For example, YA is known for protagonists having a snarky voice. That's not a bad thing necessarily, but if you do have a viewpoint character whose voice sounds similar to many others, find a way to individualize it. Lots of people are snarky. But they are snarky in their own ways. How is your character snarky?

Pretty Much "Always" Anything

- One of the problems I sometimes run into is when the text is trying so hard to be voicey, that it's annoying. Like almost anything in writing, if you go too extreme, for too long, the reader can't wait to close the book. The same thing can happen with voice. We sometimes hear people say things like this about books: "Every viewpoint character sounded totally different and unique!" In reality, while someone may have felt that way, I'm willing to bet there wasn't that much "total" about it. Like accents, usually the most successful voices today aren't "always" anything, but instead regularly something specific--a dash of snark here and a dash of slang there. 

In this sense, it's okay to have a character who regularly talks in a particular sentence structure, has a regular line of a particular emotion, or who regularly uses regional phrases. But if you have a reoccurring viewpoint character who has a voice that is always _______--chances are it's going to get annoying and be very difficult to sustain over a whole book.

Not even viewpoints like say Lemony Snicket--whose main appeal is his character voice--is constantly going to be quirky for every sentence.

This is not to say you can't do this with minor characters--characters who aren't viewpoint characters, or characters who are viewpoint characters only very briefly, like in a teaser. But if this is a viewpoint character that needs to sustain a big part of the story, avoid "always" extremes.

Not only do they get annoying, but again, can sort of "handicap" most stories, by limiting tone, tension, and emotion.

Sure, all rules can be broken, but these are good guidelines for almost all stories.

Do

Now that we got that all out of the way, let's talk about some tips about what to do when actually writing your viewpoint character's voice.

Regularly Use Point 4 POV Penetration

- Point of view is more than picking first, second, or third person. It's also about how deep the prose gets into that character's mind and experience. This is called point of view penetration. Years ago, I talked about this and outlined the different points on the POV penetration spectrum. For simplicity, here is that again:

Here are the four different points on the spectrum, from the most distant to the closest:

(Point 1) Out of breath, Todd wiped the sweat off his face and fanned himself. He got a glass of cold water.

(Point 2) Todd was thinking about how hot it was outside as he got a glass of cold water.

(Point 3) It's freaking hot outside, Todd thought, like the devil's oven. He got a glass of cold water, even though it wouldn't do anything to fight the heat. Better than nothing, Todd thought.

(Point 4) It was freaking hot outside. Like the devil's oven. A glass of cold water wouldn't do squat, but it was better than nothing.

Notice the first example shows that Todd thinks it's hot from the outside. In the last example, the prose takes on his thoughts and attitude and we know he thinks it's hot from the inside. Point 4 is the most effective place to be to get character voice on the page.

Note that the last example, Point 4, is "showing" and "telling" simultaneously. The writer is "showing" us the thought process in the character's head, but humans (usually) think in "telling" sentences. Don't shy away from deep penetration because you have been told it's "telling" and that "telling" is bad. This kind of "telling" is actually "showing," and if used correctly, can render emotion more raw and more powerful than just regular "showing."

* FYI, the points of the spectrum are my own labeling/making. They are real, but I'm just letting you know that since I'm the one who labeled them, if you use this terminology elsewhere, people probably won't know what you are talking about.

When switching to a new viewpoint character, it's usually best to get to Point 4 quickly. This is where the strongest voices reside.

Utilize Comparisons (Similes and Metaphors)

- What your viewpoint character chooses to compare something to will tell us a lot. If he compares the color of the sky to the white static on the television, we know he spends more time around or thinking about t.v. than he does nature. In contrast, someone who spends a lot of time in nature, might would compare the static of the t.v. to storm clouds. Consider what matters to your character and what he or she spends her time doing and thinking, and try mining that for an apt comparison. If you are introducing a new viewpoint, this is a great way to start building a sense of his or her voice.

It also works well to convey his or her mood for the scene. If she uses a comparison that is positive, we will probably assume she is in a positive mood. If he uses a comparison that is negative, we will probably assume he is in a negative mood. So also consider your character's emotions when picking comparisons. This will in turn give us a sense of his or her attitudes.

Slightly Deviate the Inner World from the Outer World

- We all think and experience things that we don't share. In fact, some of what we think and experience is in direct contrast to what we show the world. There should probably be at least a slight deviation with your viewpoint character too. And if this happens at POV Point 4, even better (usually). What the character thinks about and experiences privately and how it is rendered in the text, will tell us a lot about the person. When it is at odds with what he or she presents to the world, we want to know why, which gives you another opportunity to further define your character's viewpoint.

Add Lines that Speak to Worldview

- In a story, it can be easy to just get focused on what is happening--I mean, obviously. But watch for opportunities to slide in a worldview your character has about something that comes up. Maybe someone your viewpoint character is listening to references the police. Assuming it suits the passage, go ahead and slide in a brief line that clues us into what that character thinks about the police. Are they "pigs"? Or are they protectors? Are they crooked? Or are they unappreciated? People to avoid? Or someone your viewpoint character dreams of being? This will help bring in their perspective.

Sprinkle in Unique, Surface Specifics

- You can actually get away with not doing this and still have a successful character voice and story. But if you want the voice to feel more defined, it can be useful to sprinkle in one or two or three surface quirks. Just remember that anything taken to an extreme can become annoying. So the keyword here is "sprinkle." In some scenes, you may sprinkle more generously than others, depending on the needs and tone of the scene. But you won't be dumping the sprinkles on in every paragraph through the whole book.

The quirk might be favorite words (Jack Sparrow says "savvy" and Smeagol says "precious") or regional phrases (in Utah, we are known for having a lot of strange "swears," such as "Oh my heck!", "flip", and "Son of a biscuit!"). It can also be something related to the prose. Brandon Sanderson has a viewpoint character who is terrible at writing similes and metaphors. Another character may be prone to using sentence fragments. Or maybe another is a bit more generous with the dashes. Or maybe one occasionally gets distracted.

Just make sure what you pick makes sense for your character.

Now, as one of my followers mentioned to me several weeks ago, often what sounds like a great voice, breaks writing rules. When working on surface specifics, what writing rules are broken, can help contribute to how the voice sounds.

Viewpoint Voice at Work

Next, I would like to show how you can take a passage that seems to have very little voice, and utilize these approaches to give it a stronger sense of one.

Impatient, Jason tapped the steering wheel, thinking about how this drive always seemed to take longer than it actually was. He had another fever. Others would have found it annoying, but he thought the irony was funny.

These days he regularly felt sweaty, and he hadn't had time to do his laundry yet.

He considered how the feverish episodes were become fewer and further in between and wondered if that was a bad thing.

Jason had a belief that everyone had a secret worth knowing.

He was keeping several right now, and one was that the only other person he knew with this illness had recently died.  

Finally, he arrived, parking alongside the forest, a decent distance from the A-frame cabin--in his friend's car.

He'd stolen it temporarily, but he would return it before she needed to go anywhere.

Now compare it to this:

Jason tapped the steering wheel incessantly. Ugh, this drive always took a century. Because it was boring. His body felt like firecrackers had bred with the flu--he was sure he could melt a dreamsicle in a single lick. It was kinda hilarious.

Because whatever he attempted, he ended up sweaty.

And he hadn’t touched his laundry in forty years.

The feverish episodes were becoming fewer and further in between though. He wondered if that was a bad thing.

Everyone had a secret.

And one of Jason’s, was that Peni Anderson was already dead.

Finally, Jason parked alongside the forest, a decent distance from the A-frame cabin--in Heather’s car.

She had work off today, so it’s not like she needed it.

I admit that a little bit of the context is missing in the second version, but I would plan to add it earlier in the story or soon after. But let's break down the difference.

Jason doesn't see himself as impatient, so I cut that. When life is boring to him, everything seems to take longer, so he exaggerates the time--it's one of his quirks. He loves pranks, bangs, and excitement, so using "firecrackers" fits with that. Maybe not perfectly, but enough to illustrate the point for now. "He was sure he could melt a dreamsicle in a single lick"--okay, so maybe he's a bit imaginative and likes sweets. "It was kinda hilarious"--well, that's not how most people would respond, so why is he? It seems he's one of those people who finds irony in his own bad circumstances funny.

Notice that much of the text has gone deeper, to Point 4. But not all of it. That's okay. Remember, we just need to sprinkle in enough. Notice too that this version uses more implication. Deep POV does that. We see he's hiding something about this illness from others. "Everyone had a secret" seems to touch on his worldview. Maybe not a perfectly comprehensive example, but it definitely has more voice than the first.

Now go write that viewpoint voice!

#writing tips #writing tips and tricks #writing help #writeblr #fanfiction #voice #character voice #author #editor