#but i kept doing other stuff & then kept forgetting

[a-pastel-edgelord]

uhm friends with benefits megumi is in my brain......please say more.....

I'd be delighted to anon!

Friend with Benefits Megumi

"Is somethin' going on between you two or...?" Yuuji lets the question hang in the air, looking up from his phone.

Megumi, to his credit, barely froze and kept his facial expressions to a minimum as he turns a page in his book. "Not really."

"Uh huh. So you two disappearing together the other night—"

"I was borrowing a book, remember?" Megumi lifts the one in his hands for emphasis.

"Right. So, Choso is gonna come around next weekend. I thought we could all get dinner then see that new horror movie." Yuuji slumps back into his beanbag chair, glued to his phone once more.

Megumi doesn't read the next page. You don't like horror movies. You watched one together and you were tense the entire time. "They just make me feel so awful." He then spent the rest of the night helping you forget.

He cracks his neck before flicking his gaze to Yuuji. "I actually heard that it sucks."

"For real?! Aw man, I was looking forward to seeing it... Crap, what're we gonna watch now?"

"I don't see why we all have to hang out."

"Do you not get along with Cho or something?"

Megumi rolls his eyes. "Maybe I already had plans."

"Oh, for real? Whatcha doing?"

Getting take out, hanging out in your apartment then fucking you until you cry—"I have a paper coming up in a couple of weeks. I'm getting a head start. Unlike some people."

"Hey, I get stuff done!" Yuuji defends himself, puffing up in indignation.

"Yeah, and you come crying when you need help getting your shit sorted last minute. I haven't forgotten about midterms." Megumi closes the book and sits up, giving his friend an unimpressed once-over.

"Fine then, I won't ask for your help next time!" Yuuji sticks out his tongue. Declaring he would ask you for help instead. At least you would be nice about it.

#jjk x reader #megumi fushiguro x reader #fwb megumi #thank u for the anon #fanfic #jjk inbox #megumi x you #reader insert #jjk fanfic

[spielzeugkaiser]

[First Part] - [second]

Baby (who still has no name) is warming up to Geralt, who also starts to connect some dots. (Like, I think he suspects that he's Jaskiers son, adopted or otherwise, but he won't even humor the idea that he could be the dad.) That being said - the kid is an angry teenager sometimes. Jaskier tried all he could as a single parent and they have a very loving relationship, but I also think they do argue quite a bit, and there is some tension.

And the more he gets to learn how Geralt truly is the weirder is gets, cause. He's a good guy? And either Jaskier is petty and was too dramatic and kept him from meeting his dad for nothing, or Geralt isn't a good guy AT ALL and has hurt Jaskier really bad, and he doesn't think Geralt has it in him, but some people (and especially alphas) get really weird and archaic around omegas? And he had to witness again and again, with how little respect his unbonded, single father of a bastard child was treated - is Geralt like that too? But Jaskier still only ever talked somewhat kindly about him. And from all he saw... he trusts Geralt. He's a quiet, but witty and honorable man. But is it fair to doubt the parent that was there for him, that raised him, that sacrificed so much for him? The poor kid is so conflicted.

#please tell me your headcanons and prompts about this 'verse it's just vibes so far and like 10% plot #geraskier #geralt of rivia #the witcher #ciri #omegaverse #geraskier lovechild #jaskier #i don't know where this came from #but I imagined the kid as quite sickly (which is ironic) - Geralt does not really remember that he was sick as a child all the time too #also I do think Jaskier can play the lute but it's no fun for his fingers and he switched to other stuff over the years #I'm quite sure that Jaskier kept a low profile after the Rience incident because he was TERRIFIED by the thought what could have happened #also I really wanted to look at this with a kind of more realistic lense when it comes to parentage #and Jaskier did all the things right where it counts #He's loving he's emotional open he communicates - but would Jaskier always be a reliable parent? a structured one? an easily available one? #I don't think so #professor Jaskier can work for hours on end and forget to get you on time from your play date so you have to awkwardly wait and #he forgets to cook and to wash and it's always messy and once he writes he writes and gets annoyed when interrupted #but he also tells bedtime stories and stays at your bedside when you're ill and plays with you when you moved AGAIN and have no friends yet #he's easily pulled into arguments but also knows how to apologise #but he lies again and again #and he tells heroic and brave and honourable stories about your dad but still has a chest with your unsend letters and looks so so sad #when you put another one in his hands #and he never tells you to stop but doesn't send them and you know your Papa would be too kind to ask you to stop #ALSO #I think the kid is old enough to understand some of the inherent consent issues that are rampant in omegaverse #and while I imagined that 'verse here a bit tuned down #I think that the kid has seen and heard some shit! and what if Jaskier in only talking kindly of Geralt to soften the blow for him and- #kid is 100% ready to break Geralts nose if it turned out that he forced himself on his pa #(which he did not ofc but nobody communicates here)

[synthshenanigans]

Really dumb set of messy doodles of Whole meeting Darrell for the first time & being very confused as to why there's a chicken in his head

more context/the idea I had:

#i wanted to make this like legit maybe 7 months ago #but i kept doing other stuff & then kept forgetting #oh well its done now at least #chonny jash #chonnys charming chaos compendium #cj whole #cj darrell #-atlas art-

[statementlou]

Do you collect vinyl? What are your favourite records that you own?

I DO and so many! I have hundreds and I got rid of like a third of my collection a few years ago so the result is that everything I still have is something I actually really want. It's funny I just moved all of them from one place to another like 2 hours ago (not a common occurrence) so I was looking at some random ones on the way like ooh hey you... oh and that, and this! But for us I'll go with a few that will ping for people here, which are number one the Louis Just Hold On rock version single with lyrics etched in the B side which was not sold in the US and it was SUCH A HASSLE to get without paying a million dollars for it but I CHERISH IT (even though it's not that great a recording of the song :/) and the hot pink 2LP Icarus Falls, that album is so dear to me and I wanted to own a physical copy of it so bad but it didn't come out on vinyl at release but then randomly years later it did?!? It's beautiful and it's the way the album is supposed to be with the two halves separated, perfect, listening to just the Falls half is transcendent honestly. Also the Sign of the Times single, and signed Walls, but I will forever regret not getting the Lights Up single I want it so bad :(

#they way I finally got the JHO single: bought a bundle of a bunch of stuff including it from australia for like $200 #then resold the other things in the bundle (shirt picture disc other versions of walls I forget what all...) #but kept that. it worked out. but the distance it all traveled! the records all flying back and forth all over the world! the ts of records #if anyone wants to trade me smth for a lights up single I got stuff!!!! I would do it! #why and how do you own so MANY records bander you may ask no I'm not wealthy #I'm just old and an ex punk so I've been getting everything on vinyl and being nerdy about records since I started owning any music at all

[dimiclaudeblaigan]

If there is at least one thing I can credit FE for doing better than Tales in localization, it's not trying to actively go out of their way for an entire game to avoid subtext or direct text between two men that is romantic or implied romantic. Funny when it's so present that the attempt doesn't even work; infuriating that it was attempted to begin with.

So as much as I often have issues with some of FE's localizations, at least they have a leg up on loc Tales for that.

#DCB Comments #imagine changing entire sentences and vocal tones just to try to avoid it #if anything I'd say at least in FE the locs just... keep what's there like #they could've toned Soren and Houses Yuri down and they didn't. they just kept their lines or in some cases #especially with Houses Yuri I'd say leaned into them #have to specify bc Houses Yuri got to keep his bi agenda. Vesperia Yuri had the unfortunate issue of #the loc not wanting to keep his gay and trying reeeeally hard to avoid it #including altering entire sentences to avoid any woe is them misunderstandings about men having feelings for each other #meanwhile Houses Yuri is free to call men cute and lo and behold everyone loved that for him #they removed and altered a LOT of Vesperia Yuri's personality traits #(including any ability to express real sadness or fear bc woe is them if he's not a cool edgy man) #but they also really changed his tone toward Flynn PLUS some of what they say to each other #and twisted it to make it sound like Yuri was either angry or wasn't actually emotional abt him #forget the way they brought Grant George in for the DE release and made him sound just completely DEAD with zero personality #like. I can tolerate playing Houses dubbed despite my gripes with it (story based stuff) #it didn't feel like they were trying to alter LBGT+ aspects and they even for some rly leaned into it #basically if you haven't played Vesperia Yuri is... really gay coded. the loc pretended not to notice #in fact he's queer + gay coded bc and doesn't fit male gender norms and the gacha games LOVE that with his hair/outfits #Rays mind you is JP only bc it was shut down very quickly in the west and Vesp Yuri's story in Rays is uh #basically it centers around Flynn he loses his shit to protect Flynn and they do the usual like #don't-admit-it's-gay-outright in fictional media by using the ''Yuri's important person'' shtick #but he activates a special power in the middle of utterly raging to get Flynn back from their enemies #funny thing? that game never made it to that arc. I was told in about five months the western ver would've gotten that #but in some way I'm glad it didn't bc who knows how they would've tried to spin that #It's BAFFLING to me how you can get characters in Tales like JAY but the locs shake in their boots at the idea of queer gays #but given how allergic fictional media is to admitting a male character is gay -gestures to Ike and Vesp Yuri- #I'm not surprised I'm just actually angry that the locs try to censor homosexual relationships as much as possible even when they barely ca #if anyone does know Vesp Yuri and is confused on why I'm calling him gay coded despite what the dub did with Judith feel free to ask #bc I do ship them a little bit myself! but I just recognize that canon wise I really can't see him as anything but gay-demiromantic #but again at least FE locs don't shake in their boots anymore abt same sex pairs including men (side eyes Lucius/Raven)

[hecksupremechips]

Honestly though I think it’s really a bad sign when I look at Shin Tsukimi and literally feel like he’s a self insert 😩

#the klock keeps ticking #yttd #i wanna replay yttd so bad but i also like Gotta play other stuff with the time i have akskks #but yeah the brainrot this specific character has given me idk if I ever really talked about it but it was BAD #i like obsessively played the game in like 3 days and it was not a good idea lol but just like shin #i had to take like a week to recover from this guy cuz i couldnt stop thinking about him and how hes just like me fr #first off just the very inconsistent personality hes got going on that is very me he has these different personalities he wears to cope with #all the traumatic shit happening hes both so helpless its comical and so manipulative its terrifying #and idk its really interesting how like good and bad he is at being manipulative like hes very smart and can analyze weaknesses and lie so #good not even he knows the truth but hes also grasping at straws he doesnt think things through at all #like the second main game he just didnt prepare at all hes fumbling his way through everything its going so bad #he just wants to go home he wants to outdo the game makers but hes being used by them so bad he wants it to STOP #and its just the way that like. it hits so hard cuz you know hes really not a bad person not at all he doesnt want any of this hes just #being horribly manipulated and doing whatever he can to survive but its also really scary how #well hes able to lie and manipulate and claw his way through but hes also weaker than a grade schooler #and you never forget that either and as much as he cheated his way through he still failed it was all just a cheap trick in the end #and all of this hits very hard like his personality is eerily similar to mine and just the way he thinks and acts #cuz im the same like im weak and a dweeb who likes funny cats but im also emotionally detached and observant and selfish #but where it hits the hardest is his relationship with midori like oooof that one was too real just like #the first person who was ever his friend was horribly abusive and treated him like a child and didnt respect any boundaries #and he just got sick pleasure out of seeing shin be upset and he was like. a groomer #and shin was fucking relieved when he died but also kept his scarf and adopted his personality to survive #and still goes by sou after ch2 and the scene that gets me the most is when shin ai is asked about his relationship with midori #and you can just SEE how horrified shin is because his deepest shame his abuse is being shared to everyone without his consent #and hes reliving it all in that moment and literally seeing who he used to be experiencing the abuse #he just curls into himself and like covers his ears and pulls his hair thats literally what i do AAAAAA #im just so grateful for the direction they took this character kokichi ouma wishes he was shin tsukimi so bad #and yeah just like damn. its scary how similar i am to shin like damn i really am going through it huh oof #I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I WILL DEFEND HIM WITH MY LIFE HE DID ALL OF THAT STUFF YOUR HONOR BUT LISTENNNN #have you considered that hes cute and smart and weird and maybe just needs friends who arent assholes

[lazaruspiss]

catholic moment

#'repent' shhhhhhut up #i always forget i was supposed to catholic until i visit my dad's family or i hear/see one of The Words #repent... forgive... etc.............. #i vaguely remember at least one prayer! it came up in a fic once and i kept going 'HEY. HEY WAIT I KNOW THAT THING.' #our father who art tho in heaven give us this gay our daily bread or whatever #thy kingdom come thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven yada yada forgive our sins as we forgive others and let us chow down already #in the name of the father son holy spirit amen i STILL do that shit on reflex #theres a whole motion- father at the head down on son then up to a shoulder on holy and cross to the other on spirit! #i should not be so proud of myself but shut up its MY vaguely hostile relationship with my sort-of catholicism #and i get to choose how i deal w it #yeah i dont remember cracking open the bible very much but i DO remember prayer stuff. american church am i right

[thevegetablewhichnoonedaresname]

.

#pickle pontificates #girl help is the lilyorcharddungeonmeshi video gonna be what finally drives me to make a video essay now that school's over #or am i just gonna watch it and rant to my sister and then forget about it as usual #OR am i gonna decide to be normal and not watch things i know are gonna make me mad #i barely know anything about The Discourse surrounding her and i do not care #i just know i saw the steven universe video and another one awhile back and i kept watching because i was hoping in good faith #that there would be A Point #but there never was #it's just a really weird anger and vitriol and attempt to justify not liking something by arguing that it's bad #and a stubborn insistence on analyzing the separate parts of a thing without even attempting to see whether there's anything #in how the parts fit together. like that's media analysis 101. you see what's there. you see how it fits together. you interpret it #you turn it around and play with the interpretations #you try to figure out what the author was trying to convey and then you look at what you got out of it and what others got out of it #you acknowledge that stuff can be good and you can still hate it. or you acknowledge that stuff can be bad and you can still like it #and you acknowledge that sometimes stuff is just neutral and may have different effects on different people #not just ''raaaaaagh this character did bad things and is therefore bad and irredeemable and there is no other option'' #newsflash babe. most characters are like that #and like. i acknowledge that there may be ragebait at play here #but i do like engaging with weirdo opinions sometimes because it gives me a chance to articulate my own feelings and investigate why #i feel that way #but i do have to be careful to make sure i'm not just getting off on being mad and falling down the hole for no reason so. we'll see #edit: i remember what it was now it was the writing tips video #it's the weird black and white there's only one way to do art and i'm right about it all the time attitude

[onethousxndvoices]

removed the main tags from my mocha doodles bc i lowkey dont want em lumped in w my actual hfr fanart 👍

#been meaning to do this i just kept forgetting LOL #i dont wanna clog the tag w oc stuff. eek #everything should now just be under 'hi fi rush oc' if u wanna scroll thru Just the mocha stuff. for whatever reason #also that other oc of mine. teehee #skip speaks

[elipsi]

remember when i listened to the mdzs audiodrama. peak derangement time

#yes it was a exclusively audio medium in a language i do not understand and hardcoded subtitles #after 6h+ i kept forgetting i do not speak mandarin and tried to do other stuff while listening

[dragons-and-yellow-roses]

It's dead af at work. We got through our four reservations and have had no walk ins, and my manager won't cut me because he hates doing my job (and we're friends and he knows I need the money) and tbh I don't want to be cut (can't really afford to be) but I'm actually going insane from sitting on my stool, going through Tumblr, Insta, Kindle, then standing up and going through those apps again, then sitting down and going through those apps again, etc. it's nice to get paid to do nothing, because tbh if I was cut then I'd just be doing this but in my bed, but I'm getting so fucking restless.

#truly im unneeded rn #my other manager gave me the option to be cut before my shift even started but again. I'm broke af #so i came in. and im getting paid $15 an hour to scroll through all of my apps #and im trying to be mildly productive #trying to do some resding because i didnt resd as much as i wanted this month #to make up for it i finished three books in the last two days and im going for a fourth #one of them i had already started. one was pretty short. and one was so good that i tore through it fast #this is a more difficult story. about a school shooting. not super fun but a good story nonetheless #you ever read a book and then want to forget it so you can read it for the first time again? #i just read jumper by Melanie Crowder and it was so good. although apparently the diabetes information isnt accurate #but the story was very very good and kept me interested the whole way #the problem with this school shooting story is that its good. it draws my attention. but its understandably very hard to read #fourteen ish minutes until my paycheck goes through and then i find out if i can pay rent this month #that's part of why im restless too. nervous about paying rent. my job hours are unpredictable and so are the paychecks #i think ill be okay but as always im terrified that it wont #anyway im in a bit of a reading rut. if you hsve any book recs (not a big fan of fantasy. generally like realistic fiction. ya. lgbt) #that type of stuff. like jumper. the Miseducation of Cameron Post. message not found. stuff like that #open to recommendations #love yall. i hope you all have more thsn enough money to pay rent

[lucalicatteart]

Poll adventure (paventure? lol) Day 13: read the small story tidbit below the poll for more details, OR just vote based on initial impression

(✦ see past poll results + further information HERE (link) ✦)

Yesterday's poll decided that The Adventurer should just start crying whilst being robbed in the abandoned barn ...

~

(----- tw for mild violence (he gets into sort of a fight) until after the next orange text section in parentheses -----)

Not sure what else to even do, The Adventurer simply collapses into a ball on the floor and starts sobbing, screaming, and rolling about. The hooded figure pauses in confusion at first, but.. apparently is not very sympathetic to his plight.

They rush over, grappling with him as he cries, fighting to pry the backpack out of his hands. The Adventurer continues screeching frantically, and during some of his flailing accidentally swings his arm up, elbowing the hooded figure in the face. They let out an exasperated sigh, knocking him against the wall then firmly yanking him up by the hair, securing their arm around his throat to restrain him as they grab for the backpack. He kicks a few times, struggling, clawing at the hooded figure's arms, but just isn't strong enough to free himself.. There's a thwack and a sudden sharpness in the side of his head, the backpack pulling away from his shoulders, cold ground, and then… nothing at all..…

(------------------- mild violence tw over -----------------) ...............

The Adventurer slowly opens his eyes to a quiet foggy morning.. Tiny particles in the dusty barn air gently flutter to and fro, dancing around in the streams of early sunlight trickling through the slight crack of the front doors. With a groan, he rolls over, suddenly feeling every ache in his body. His head, his wrist, his leg injury from crashing the raft.. He spends a while just laying on his back, watching the dust and gazing hopelessly at the moldy boards of the roof, mustering the strength to sit upright… What can he even do next? He's failed.. His first EVER actual quest of his adventuring career, and he can't even keep a stupid egg safe for more than a few days! What type of adventurer is that?? Maybe he should just give up.. Go back home and do nothing with his life, just as he was meant to... He sighs, turning back onto his side and curling into a ball to sulk even more dramatically. The cat trots over to him to interrupt his swirling thoughts, pawing at his face, then directing him towards a small stack of hay in the corner where... there it is! His backpack!! He scrambles over, immediately digging through to check for his belongings.. To his surprise, everything it still in it's place. His food, his money, all of the cool shiny rocks he's collected so far.. And tucked away in the very bottom, the Mysterious Egg box remains, completely undamaged.. somehow with the egg still inside! And... a note? He shakily unfolds a crisp sheet of pale yellow paper dotted with a few scribbly letters: "I took care of her for you. Be more careful next time. Just get where you have to go."

Well...... He supposes that if there's apparently going to be weirdos following him around anyway, maybe he's lucky at least one of them seems nice. Better than trying to ROB him, at least.. Even if it is a bit creepy. He realizes now that his injuries have been bandaged as well, and that when he woke up, he was wrapped in a blanket, and.. where is the hooded figure? What does the stranger mean that they "took care" of her?? He turns to the cat for answers, as if they'd be able to clear up his confusions, but they simply make a "mrrp!" noise and stare blankly in response. Figuring that it's all far too much to think about first thing in the morning (especially with the headache that he has), he just decides to be thankful he at least still has the egg, and thus can continue on his grand adventure!! He will NOT let himself fail again! Sore and limping but full of renewed motivation, he leaps up (at least as best he can) and continues back onto the road. After walking only a few hours, he comes to a clearing at the top of a large hill, overlooking the next stop on his journey (then double checks the map just to make sure it actually IS the next stop). This is a much bigger area than the previous villages he's been to, possibly large enough to even count as a small city. With a wider variation of shops and attractions available to him than usual, he wonders if he should just take a break and relax the rest of the day.

He's too tired to walk much today anyway, soo.. maybe it'd be good for him to spend some time in a safe public space, doing something to help take his mind off of this morning's drama… But, what should he do?

-

-

Additional Information

the adventurer's current main quest: follow his map to reach the abandoned castle ruins and see the rare animal specialist about the mysterious egg he has

#paventure posting #poll #polls #choose your own adventure #ERM.. okay I didn't mean to take a 2 week break from doing these. I just got really really busy with Life Things #had various appointments in a row and stuff to sort out. I kept thinking like 'oh I need to get back to that!' and then would be doing #other stuff all day and then at the end of the day just realize that I.. hadn't.. BUT i AM DOING IT NOW!! #I think it's more effective if it's at least once every 1-3 days so that people don't forget the entire story before the next one is out lo #*lol.. but.. alas #Sorry I had to have something bad happen to him. I know I could have made it silly instead like the hooded figure was just like #secretly very sensitive and thinking 'AWW sowwy ur crying #do you want a donut? :(' or something but.. I had to be realistic lol #If some obviously threatening person is coming after you because they want to steal and extremely valuable item from you #for their boss or to sell themselves or whatever. you being vulnerable is just going to give them a chance to take it from you #there are very few instances where realistically that WOULDN'T happen. gbhjb.. #Also note: I did not make up the mysterious person who ''saves'' him as a cop out from giving him actual consequences t #o his actions or something. I know it's convenient - but it does make sense. There have always been multiple people following him ever #since he was at the Inn. Even though the Inkeeper tried to hide it very fast and keep hush hush about it. there were people there #who were alerted to the fact that he has the egg. Mostly two specifically. One of them has always been more benevolent because #they have a different end goal. Which is like.. not extremely benevolent actually ghhjbhbj.. but it makes sense for them to act #benevolent at the moment because they have an interest in seeing that the egg is taken to it's ''proper place''. #The two people following him were not directly connected or working for the same people or anything. But the one who just helped him #obviously was very aware of the other. and the other didn't know about the helpful one. ANYWAY #A stumbling block in the beginning of his grand adventuring journey. hopefully things go better for him from here lol #His injuries are pretty minor but he still feels bad since he's not used to fighting. I think he deserves a relax day #he was already 5 seconds away from crying at any given time. now on top of that he's got bruises and a sprained wrist and a headache #and he's not used to having ever been injured or ''fought'' anyone before so he WILL be being very dramatic about it in his head and #finding every possible chance to mention to anyone who will listen about how he was so so brave and got in such a wild fight #and also feels so so bad and please tell him everything will be okay and oh he is so so so injured *big wet seal eyes* #he IS going to feel sorry for himself for weeks gghbjhb..

[dandyshucks]

i should put together speedpaints... honestly just for my own sake bc i like watching how i did things bc i forget so quickly SBDBDKL but also perhaps I'll upload them here too hmmm

#I've always just liked speedpaints a lot dbdkdl idk why! its fun to watch other ppls processes #but even my own like... i will put them together just for fun to watch mesmerized a few times and then delete them LMAO #scratches my brain to watch the art process all sped up like that i guess dhfkdl #thank god medibang has a built in timelapse feature that can be kept on bc I would forget to record my art sessions otherwise LOL #anyways perhaps i will do that tomorrow... or friday bc i have my old lady group tomorrow fhfkdl so i might be too busy/tired we'll see #and i might chicken out of sharing it here anyway sbdjdl i get shy abt sharing stuff a lot of the time djdkdl #dandy.cmd

[eggmeralda]

I may have lost all hope

#it's a weird feeling? #like since late 2022 it's been kind of like. bad vibes consistently #and i tried to stay somewhat positive throughout it #but idk there's this very distinct feeling now of like. i can't describe it but it's completely gone #like I've actually got nothing to live for #nothing I've done or wanted to do since i was 14 has ever really like amounted to anything #all the friends i made i never feel like i can talk to #once again in that state of 'only alive so my family don't get sad' #like even when i wanted to just stop existing when i was 21 there was this tiny bit of hope still there a little bit #like i remember for that whole summer i kept getting quick thoughts about suicide but I'd always push them out of my mind instantly #but there was one day where i let the thought stay in my mind for a little bit and like properly considered how i would do it #and then after a bit i was like FUCK and then went and walked like an hour away from my house to try and forget it #and then after that day i slowly got better. and it was annoying bc it meant now i had to walk a whole hour back to my house #but even if those 2 months there was still this feeling of this isn't gonna last #bc i knew i was back at uni in a few months and at least i had music to listen to #and all the other times I've been in that state there was still this sort of feeling that it'll get better bc I've got things to get me #through it #but it doesn't feel like that now. like no job no friends no hyperfixation and now i can't even enjoy any music #anything i create is pointless bc only i care about it #all my friends are busy doing other stuff I'm like not even second best I'm the most forgettable person anyone might know #the only thing that would fix me is getting a random train to like some place I've never been #just to see a new thing i guess #but anyway #ramble #suicide mention

[fantabulisticity]

I SEE KESHA IN LESS THAN 48 HOURS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#there are still tix available at some of the shows -- all of them are out west-ish #i am SO fucking excited and also SO broke after the car stuff I had to pay for and won't be able to buy all the merch I want 😭 #and i'll have to reschedule my next car fixing appt to after payday bc i CANNOT afford it right now 😭 #but it'll be fine. next month will be a little tight but then i'll be able to afford stuff again. hopefully. #GOD i'm so FUCKING excited!!!!!!!!!!!! #I LOVE KESHA SO GODDAMN MUCH #soooooooo curious what my spotify wrapped is gonna be this year now that i listen to music at work a bunch #it's so much harder to guess when i expand the hours that much #but i do think kesha's still gonna be top 10 if not top 5 even though i've been going through other artists' entire discographies bc. well. #i listen to a Lot of kesha 😂 #i'll post pics of my outfit and shit #it isn't anything special bc i kept forgetting to plan for it but. i threw something together and it works. #personal #kesha #only love tour #gag order album #gag order tour

[mako-island-moon-pool]

You want to know how bad my memory is?

I was writing last night and I just straight up forgot that Sanji exists. I have been watching this show since 2012, he was my fave Strawhat outside of Luffy pre-TS, and I FORGOT HE EXISTED.

I was like 'hm yes well the ones who would understand are Nami and Robin... W- wasn't there one more I was thinking of a moment ago? Wasn't there another one who'd Get It?????'

'it's not Chopper. Definitely not Usopp. And it's not Zoro. That's all the remaining Strawhats at this point in the story. So... Why am I convinced I'm forgetting someone? Let's go through the arcs in my head agai- OH MY GOD, I FORGOT SANJI'

#When I tell you my memory is shit... 😭 I used to own a Sanji shirt. What the fuck?? #When that post about the memory issues finally leaves my queue #Like I joke about it but this shit can be genuinely terrifying. Like knowing my brain is getting worse. Knowing I'm probably forgetting #Seriously important things and just 'oops I can't remember haha' #It's scary. #I'll never get better because I'll just relive the pain over and over because my brain refuses to remember the help and progress I make #Every day I wake up back at step 1 it's so depressing and scary and horrifying and I hate it #I can never process anything bc I just forget and if I do remember it's like a punch to the chest for the first time every time #And people get SO sick of you after a while. Constantly asking for help. Never remembering anything. They get so annoyed with you. #Anyway. On a lighter note (not actually) I'm trying out a new one-shot :) #Not to speak ill of the 'soon-to-be' dead but Garp was a shit grandfather #So I was like What If Me And Luffy Had The Same Reaction #Because self love starts in recognizing your self through the other god damn it #Even if I finish this idk if I'll post it bc of how personal it is but it has been very cathartic to write #Then again I could just publish it anonymously so my irl friends won't see it. No harm no foul. #I (kid) once pushed my mom (grown adult) out of my room when she caused me to have a meltdown so I could 100% see Luffy doing the same thin #In my defense she had a habit of taunting me and destroying my stuff to punish me after inciting meltdowns and I just wanted to be alone #I was like 7 years old at the time (hell year hell year) so I doubt I actually hurt her. She just looked surprised. I remember that. #Sometimes I wonder why I identify so much with werewolves and then I remember ah yes. The childhood of being treated like a monster. #Like a freak because when people kept pushing your boundaries you'd rather bite than let them do whatever they want to you #Oh boo hoo such a terrible thing for a child to be... Protective of themselves... #ANYWAY. like I said this wasn't going to be much lighter. #I want Luffy to punch the lights out of Garp to protect his friends. Not even in-canon just in this fic #Ik in-canon Garp is a complex guy and loads of fans love him but... Smash eggs make sandwiches know what I'm saying? #Yeah GROOVY