#and i get to choose how i deal w it

[lazaruspiss]

catholic moment

#'repent' shhhhhhut up #i always forget i was supposed to catholic until i visit my dad's family or i hear/see one of The Words #repent... forgive... etc.............. #i vaguely remember at least one prayer! it came up in a fic once and i kept going 'HEY. HEY WAIT I KNOW THAT THING.' #our father who art tho in heaven give us this gay our daily bread or whatever #thy kingdom come thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven yada yada forgive our sins as we forgive others and let us chow down already #in the name of the father son holy spirit amen i STILL do that shit on reflex #theres a whole motion- father at the head down on son then up to a shoulder on holy and cross to the other on spirit! #i should not be so proud of myself but shut up its MY vaguely hostile relationship with my sort-of catholicism #and i get to choose how i deal w it #yeah i dont remember cracking open the bible very much but i DO remember prayer stuff. american church am i right

[tvlandofficiall]

from the motion of their hand

#ooc #art #swatch #mettaton #deltarune #mild body horror #ask to tag #this one gets a tag ramble. i think a lot about how horrifying it is to be used. we see a lot of symbolic fanart of kris dealing w their + #lack of agency but so little for the darkners! who ALL are reflections of that aspect of kris in some way or other. all objects. #as usual; no one can choose who they are in this world. it's horrifying. horror games. #bonus points to anyone who can pick out what the letters are from and why i put them there

[hella1975]

genuinely the moment you find an aesthetic you love and start owning it life gets better

#red is My Colour it’s my thing everyone knows that about me and sometimes I catch myself being like wow this is like actually really lame 😭 #bc my hair is red my nails (when i have them done) are red i wear red clothes #and it was always tiny things like that where yeah it’s fun and noticeable but not super in ur face if you don’t know any better #but recently I’ve really been leaning into it like I ordered a red wallet and a red bag AND red sunnies #and i actively choose red whenever colour options are available for day to day stuff #like red perfume instead of the original black one (this is my pride and joy) or dumb shit like getting cherry coke instead of normal #and it’s SO dumb it’s so lame but it brings me so much genuine joy #like i fr feel like a character it’s such a harmless way of making myself happy #AND it makes me happier w how i look bc on top of the red I’ve leaned more into grunge aesthetic lately #bc i used to be too scared to whereas now I’m really enjoying it #like i cant remember the last time i was this comfortable in myself physically and that's kinda a big deal for me #fr find an aesthetic you love and just go with it idc if it’s silly I can’t recommend it enough

[navarice]

bridgerton fans on tumblr save me bc the ppl over on twitter are choosing to be obtuse on purpose…

I’ve never been opposed to being a little shit over content/media we all consume but my god ppl just wake up and decide to be assholes on the internet for no reason. cant say how many people I’ve blocked bc of it 😧

long story short, if you don’t like what the season will offer for any reason at all, please do us a favor and don’t watch it. Please we are begging. Some of us want to get lost in the fake regency and pretty dresses and plenty of fucking. not everything has to be another reason why you think teenagers who write burn books are the literal worst ppl to walk the planet or how you don’t find fat people hot. Both are valid and fine but don’t come into a working kitchen and be surprised people are using the utensils.

#bridgerton #I cannot believe how many of these I’ve come across #poor Nicola thought she would be getting dragged over being leading lady #and luke put into the spotlight has to deal w sm shit #charithra and literally all the cast members #all the expectations are there. no one has to be here if it’s not their thing #it’s like when you clearly have a tag that says dead dove do not eat and ppl still choose to open it and be surprised about whts inside #then again I’m the dumb one for expecting something more considering how much shit simone got for being Indian #I’ll say it rn the books were good but in a rare case the shows are better #so. to the ppl. go cry abt it ig

[whitedemon-ladydeath]

it's so crazy I'm being vague posted about with my own screenshots from my own kindle by teenagers who will stan Rhys and be anti Nesta and will still say its different that Tamlin was abusive towards Feyre but not Rhys with Feyre/Nesta. like. babygirl, they're both abusive. both of them. they are doing the same thing of abusing their power. considering I have this girl blocked, I'm guessing someone is possibly doing the leg work for her

#idk man its exhausting dealing with children on the internet who pick and choose their flavor of abuse #are yall This obsessed with me #if nesta Was abusive AGAIN how does this cancel it out? rhys is still abusive? hes abusing his wife hes abusing Nesta like lol come on now #it doesn't? cancel out? the power dynamics between rhys and nesta are INSANE. power dynamics are uh kinda a hallmark trait in abuse #nesta being an abusive sister does not get canceled out by Rhys using his power as a HL on her Body #imagine the president using his Uthority to take away his wifes sisters HOME along with eveeyone rlse who lived there #also not that kid arguing nestas alcoholism against a NURSE???? it is literally on google too ffs #bookishfeylin is a medical professional 💀 #nesta abusing alcohol? yes. Nesta an alcoholic? NO #some of the teenagers ive met are so insightful and i enhoy talking w them about these books but why must most of the ppl i deal with #Harassing me be teenagers

[emmaspolaroid]

i’ve got headaches and bad luck, but they couldn’t touch you, no

rayvio sketchdump. i will drag you all down with me 💜🖤

#banging my fists on the table EMO KIDS EMO KIDS EMO KIDDDDDDSSSSSS #walk with me. she totally kissed him just to ~get it out of her system~ and it backfired SEVERELY now she has to deal w all these. feelings #bc he would never initiate no matter how much he likes her (which is a fucking lot trust me besties trust me) aidjunskasdjklds #they saw you from across the bar and fucking hate your vibe #they’re so punk rock to meeee oh my god do you get it DO YOU GET IT #gentle reminder that punk is inherently gnc and rayvio is bi4bi to me xoxo ily #this doodle dump was so fun i borrowed some Pinterest poses to break up my brain worms and tried new brushes on all of them hehe #also rereading the manga i think Vi has lighter eyes than what I’ve given her here but i rly like the idea of her having big brown eyes so. #I spent literally so long choosing the perfect FOB lyric (i knew immediately but had to comb through everything just in case) #Nikki draws #the promised neverland #rayvio #Rachel please see this lmao

[haemosexuality]

parents be like, i understand that signs of depression include things like having difficulty leaving the bed/house, general lack of energy, messed up sleep schedule, not eating etc. not my daughter tho she does all that because she wants to and bc shes lazy

#they genuinely think i like living like this. they think i stay in bed all day and dont sleep bc i think thats fun. they think i dont do #activities i promised id to bc im lazy or irresponsible. i dont know if they just like #Know all those things about depression in an intelectual level but cant realize that thats what that is when confronted with how it looks #like in reality #if theyre choosing not to see it bc its easier to deal w me in their heads if im just lazy #if theyre just... dumb and blind #or if they think the few months where i was taking antidepressants after my half baked sui attempt cured me forever #idk #but i dont have the courage or energy to break it to them (again) so ig we're just waiting until i get so bad i blows up (again)

[wethecelestial]

they should invent a grief thats uncomplicated and purely cathartic to experience. has anyone thought of this before

#cw death #not to be ungrateful that when i get tired of 'feeling guilty abt putting off ur trip to go see family until the summer bc u didn't want to #have to deal w international travel over winter break and now ur grandma who u haven't seen in 8 years is dead' i can distract myself with #'being furious that your family wasn't going to tell u she died until u came home for the summer' or 'giving urself a headache abt whether #you're even allowed to be upset that she died when u grew up hearing stories abt how horrible she was to ur mom' or #'being irrationally and unfairly jealous that your dad has multiple siblings who could all take turns checking in on her and sitting with #her in the hospital bc u definitely will not get that when ur parents die' or 'getting paranoid abt how ur OTHER set of grandparents #might die and/or go fully blind before u get to see them (also for the first time in 8 years) this summer' #like. not to be ungrateful to have so much enrichment to choose from in my enclosure #but have we considered just like.....being sad. and that's it. #lmao literally as i was writing this my mom texted me 'it's already happened just move on' so BACK TO SQUARE ONE! #anyways like it's fine lol. we (obviously) were not close. and also she was a full 98 years old lmao like it was her time. #but also truly. what goes on lol

[doyeons]

going back to my apartment tmrw. everything just feels kind of incorrect rn i cant describe it

#bella.txt #like ok my parents moved to be 3 hrs away from where they used to live #but my friends + my grandma r still where my parents used to live #so i have to choose btwn being w/ parents and my dogs or being w/ friends and grandma #and it's not like. a SHORT drive at all. 3 hrs on a good day w/ minimal traffic #+ it takes 7hrs to get from my parents to my apartment but only 4ish from my grandmas to my apartment #so i wanted to be.. over here.. before heading back to school #but idk things worked out so weirdly i only saw my one friend once and i missed her bday and i didnt see my other friend at all and i left #y parents and dogs earlier than i wanted and for no reason bc i didnt even go see anyone i just went to my grandma's immediately like #idk this probably sounds like it's not a big deal but i feel so weird i feel like i didnt plan right how to split my time #and now i'm leaving and idk when i'll be back #and i dont have to go tomorrow but i also. do? kind of? i dont know #kill my entire brain why cant i just think normally abt these things

[zevrans]

.

#having mental breakdown and crying at midnight because i don't want to get hurt again in my next root canal session 🥴🥴🥴 #is possible to have a ptsd from dealing with root canals?? because i think i have successfully developed one last month.. #the amount of pain i went through in the dentist chair.. i've been jumping and enduring and anesthetics wouldn't work no matter #how much the dentist gave me.. literally the worst physical pain in my entire life hands down #i'd honestly choose my worst period cramps with temperature and etc i had over what i experienced throughout last month in that chair #only to find out i have to go through this again with another tooth.. #i literally had half of my face paralyzed at one moment at the amount of anesthetics she gave me and STILL it hurted as hell #i don't understand why i have to go through so much pain.. i had appointment next week #but i am going to go there tomorrow i dont care there has to be someone on the emergency shift this poison or w/e is it called they put #to kill the nerves in the canals is causing me unbelievavle amount of pain ALL of my upper and down teeth on the side of this tooth are #hurting and aching and the pain strikes the jaw i've took all the painkillers we had in the house abd nothing worked i dont get it;;;; #if it wasn't free healthcare i'd just pull out these mofos honestly rather going through this 🤡🤡🤡 #sorry this huge ass rant i will delete later i just neede to vent 😩 #tbd

[sweetsweetbumblebee]

OMG I GET MY HAIR CUT 2MORROW I JUST REMEMBERED

#sfw #🍯 #IM SO FUCKIN READY #ive wanted it cut 4 literal months #u dont understand #maybe ill also get some dye idk #depends on how my mothers feelin bc m an adult who can choose her own hair color #but also i have 2 still live w my mother until i go back 2 school n i dont rlly wanna deal w her #so #well see lol

[latinokaeya-moving]

after all of this tho i still think diluc sucks lol he still irritates me bc it’s clear the game wants you to sympathise and admire him sooooo bad and they lay it on soooo thick when i’m just like :/ no. lmao.

#x #gi posting #i don’t like the way this game consistently shoves down ur throat how ur Supposed to feel abt characters or whatever it’s so annoying #they use paimon as a mouth piece everytime and i’m just like ? no thanks #like they do it consistently w eulas whole story. like narratively the traveller DOES feel sorry and sympathetic towards eula when it’s like #but what if i don’t lol. #i get dilucs deal now though i had been ruminating on his like. motivations/goals for a while now and they make more sense now #his whole thing is to do with self righteousness and believing himself to be the only one able to enact justice into the world #so he neglects or at least has put to the side all other personal issues bc he believes only his vision/delivery judgement takes precedent #and that. is incredibly annoying in terms of his relationships w others #like what’s worse than a self righteous white man lmao. come on #(me being at my most unforgiving and bitter bc i’m a hater at my core£ #also random thought but i think it sets up an interesting parallel between diluc - choosing to continue to sort of. enact his fathers legacy #perhaps at the expense of himself and his relationship w others? (in the sense that they do not take precedent !) #vs kaeya - choosing to… ignore(? lol) his fathers legacy/wishes bc of all the ties he has to mondstadt now #and how He actively maintains those familial and friendly relationships bc they’re what matters to him #and how that translates into kaeya more obviously / desperately hinting towards wanting an active/true reconciliation w diluc while diluc is #more like… willing 2 accept what they have as of now. at least until his job of playing judge jury and executioner on all threats to mond #or whatever is finally done (which it never will be lol) #anyways a lot of assumptions and leaps of understanding r made here but it clicks fairly well in my head so i’ll accept it for now #i’ll admit they were on more neutral terms than i thought. tbf not my fault consenting all the interactions #we’d had until this moment were either tense or actively antagonistic lmao #so yeah. sure they care for each other n want to reconcile 2 a certain extent #still only one person rlly putting in most of the work tho

[matoitech]

gay n bi men dont tend to rly talk abt this stuff  alot bcuz we know it wont go anywhere, the normal ppl who care r going to be conscious of it and act like normal fucking people and the ppl who dont just ignore it or may just say they care soo much and totally support us and dont want us to deal w these things!! while their actions def dont come off that way at all. esp when ppl just do not care enough to say anything bcuz we r just not worth saying anything or they r scared of being made fun of or harassed for saying they dont think like some homophobic joke is funny. but anyway it does wear on u its why a lot of us stay pretty far out of anything ‘fandom’ adjacent and just hang out w each other and other normal ppl on the sidelines lol. bunch of dudes in a circle passing images of galolio promare to each other and saying dont look outside man its weird as fuck out there

#like most of my prmare followers n mutuals r other gay n bi guys #u wouldnt know it from ppl making their 'isnt it soo funny n strange how only wlw like [media w good n normal m/m] lol so weird' jokes #like u guys have 2 stop fucking saying that cuz how is it not reading as embarrassing to admit that u dont know any of us #I KNOW U KNOW WE WATCH MOVIES N MAKE SHIT FOR IT. WE JUST DONT APPEAL TO /YOU/ SO U DONT LIKE IT #its not Relatable to u so youd rather get ur gayboys from ppl who match ur identity #that way u can avoid the discomfort of having to interact w real life gay guys #who will see how u talk abt characters like us #likeit just says more abt u than anything. it says a lot abt who ur choosing 2 engage with #if media w m/m is good n normal then we r There. it is on u if u r ignoring us #ppl dont rly want to deal w their own bigotries they just want to have a Fun Fandom Experience at the expense of other ppl #obligatory this is obv not saying everyone is like this this is more yeah this is def a major thing we have 2 deal with #even trying very hard to avoid Fandom Shit bcuz a lot of these ppl r Fandom Haters themselves

[dirtynamjams]

im so frustrated

#being disabled is hard af #hard to work in a physical location w that strain #even harder when youre dealing with social security #still harder when insurance wont pay for your service dog training so you're doing it all on your own #i wanna jump #i wanna scream #i wanna dance with somebody i wanna feel the heat with somebody #dont worry im not gonna kermit today #this is just an intermittent wallow in self pity as i look back at my life and see how crappy its become #i want to time travel back to before it all went downhill #id also choose better friends #and maybe i'd go get a second opinion on my diagnosis so that none of the other crap wouldve happened

[theghostofashton]

.

#ppl like that anon are annoying for a lot of reasons but mostly like #i am so tired of the 'all classics authors are old white men so i don't read classics' or 'most books are white so i don't read them' #like..........do y'all not get how buying and raising sales of authors of color will then result in more of their books being acquired #publishing is a numbers game it has nothing to do w how good a book is #if a book by an author of color sells really well publishing houses are more likely to acquire others #it's all about money and execs being too afraid to lose out on an investment #that's why often a lot of authors of color get lower deals bc publishers don't believe they can earn out their advances #if you buy their books you contribute to changing that narrative!! #i'm not expecting everyone to know all of this obv but it is really baffling to me that people admit to not supporting books they want #and then complain that there aren't more of them lmfao #please support authors of color #please explore and find their books (it really is not hard there are so many) and support them #instead of slapping white in front of 'authors' and thinking you've done something lol #we have come a long way there's no excuse now it's just you being lazy and burying your head in the sand #plenty of wonderful books by authors of color exist in every genre every topic you could dream of #if you choose not to see them that's on you

[atomicqueer]

.

#i love how i was looking for like secretary type work for so long and felt kind of ashamed about it like it wasnt ambitious enough #but now that i am doing a similar job its 1000% the most enjoyable job ive ever had overall and i looooove having a variety of tasks to do #and sure i still dont always love dealing with customers but. like. getting to clean the front office & order office supplies #& get the mail & run things to the bank occasionally all on top of my actual 'talk to customers. keep the schedule. handle AR reports' job #its just. enjoyable! its nice coming into work and going ''i want to focus on __ today'' and just getting to DO that (for the most part) #without anyone ever being like ''hey you have to do an AR report on monday every monday or else'' or whatever #like i can choose when to do things as long as its reasonable and it gets done on time and ive just never had that freedom in a job b4 #(& it goes without saying that having occasional downtown AND having coworkers to talk to during that downtime is AMAZING) #(making friends w/ my coworkers (and being able to talk to them at work!!) is doing wonders for my mental health #it used to be ''if i get stuck & take my break late my break can overlap with ******'s and thats nice'' #or before that ''im the only employee in this building for the next 5 hours'' #and thats all kind of a bummer at the end of the day