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#but i feel like i have to try idk !!!! if i don't try then nobody in this family has any real hope of improving !!!
gamerbearmira · 1 day
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Guess I'm OOOOGGLY GOOOO
Body Swap Alma and Mirabel❗❗❗
No but I have been thinking about this au a lot as of late. Idk why. I originally I was only gonna post the colored drawing, then I ended up writing the snippet, and then the drawing, then I finished the snippet. A real rollercoaster 🌚
ANYWAYYYYYYYY get a load of these two and. To an outside person, a 6 year old explaining why what man said was mean to a literal senior citizen.
EH IH IT
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Alma stared up at the man who had said some...well, rather different words to her. Of course, Alma herself had never been spoken to like that. But given that she was in Mirabel's body, and nobody but her, Mirabel and Camilo knew? She was Mirabel in the eyes of everyone else.
"What?" Alma said, though her voice came out to that of her 6-year-old granddaughters.
"I said that maybe if another baby is born they won't be giftless like you," the man said, before shooing her off and walking away.
"I...That was...condescending," Alma muttered, walking away as well. She scanned the crowd before spotting Mirabel; herself, walking out of a bakery with a bag. Alma made a beeline for her, pulling her aside whilst she was in the middle of enjoying a bollo. The two ended up in an alley, and after making sure they were away from prying eyes and ears, she spoke very quietly.
"Abuela? What's wrong?" Mirabel said, her mouth full. Alma would have to remind her about speaking with her mouth open, especially in her body no less. Alma pulled Mirabel done, the girl squatting down so she was her grandmothers height.
"Mirabel, a man had denied my help and then went to say that if another baby is born...t-then he hoped they wouldn't be giftless like me—er, you," Alma explained. Mirabel had a blank look on her face, staring at her grandmother with wide eyes. She swallowed before shrugging.
"So?" Mirabel said, shrugging. She dug around in the bag, perking up at the sight of another roll.
Alma was dumbfounded. Why was Mirabel not offended? Or upset? Or at the very least concerned? She had virtually no reaction! Alma stuttered for a moment before speaking. "Mirabel, that's very mean. Do people say stuff like that to you often?"
Mirabel seemed to be in thought before swallowing and nodding. "¡Si! People say things like that all the time," Mirabel laughed. "But they always laugh, and say it's a joke, so it must be a joke, right?"
Alma stared at Mirabel. That's right. Mirabel was only 6. She probably didn't understand the meaning behind those words. How mean they were. How cruel it was to say that to a child. A literal child. Alma, she...she never expected Mirabel to be treated like this by the townsfolk.
"M-Mirabel, that's not ok. People shouldn't say things like that," Alma explained, her small hands grabbing Mirabel's larger one.
"Why?" Mirabel asked seeming genuinely confused.
"They...they're trying to..." Alma bit her lip, moving to adjust the large green glasses on her face. How would she explain this to a 6-year-old? Alma looked up at Mirabel again, who was waiting for a response. "They're trying to hurt your feelings," Alma said.
Mirabel stopped, putting her half-eaten bollo back into the bag, her eyebrows furrowing. "They are?"
"Yes. It's not a joke. Well, maybe it is a joke, but they're not laughing with you. They're laughing at you," Alma explained and Mirabel's face visibly fell.
"Oh," Mirabel said, her tone dejected. "But...they always laughed and said they were kidding!"
Alma walked closer, grabbing Mirabel's hand—her hand. "Mirabel. People can be mean, and they'll say mean things and pretend its a joke. But it's not. They're trying to make you feel bad."
"Why?" Mirabel asked and Alma frowned. That's right. She probably didn't understand why, she was barely out of her toddler years.
"I don't know. People are mean because they have their own problems and take it out on other people," Alma said softly, looking down. She looked back up at Mirabel. Alma cupped Mirabel's face. "But don't let them get to you ok? You...You're just as special as any other Madrigal. Ok?"
Mirabel smiled softly, but Alma could still see the hint if sadness in her eyes. Mirabel stood and Alma grabbed her hand, leading her away frim the alley and towards Casita. Sure, to the town, it looked weird for a six year old guiding her grandmother, but they didn't know the roles were reversed. Literally. Alma didn't have time to dwell on the strange looks.
"Let's go back to Casita, ok. It's almost lunch time anyway," Alma said, guiding Mirabel. "Besides, Camilo probably wants to play with you."
Mirabel perked up, beaming. She did her best not to run ahead or squeal in joy, she knew that if she did their cover would be blown.
Alma smiled at Mirabel. Maybe they would get through this.
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Do they get through this?
Anyway, I might do more of this au later??? Also going to be doing some vampire au, I have some drawings but I might end up drawing more before posting all of the. Or maybe I’ll post one now and then another later. Idk 🧌🧌
L8R M8👩‍🏭👩‍🏭
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nostalgia-tblr · 3 months
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"are people not into that?" i ask, after posting my weird niche shit to the internet, despite knowing it to be weird niche shit.
#jsyk sylkius or anything adjacent to it does not “Do Numbers” in any way and i observed this some time ago#i assume that's the “rival ships” element at work but who knows really#that sort of thing is like femslash in that everyone approves of it but nobody actually reads or writes it#but who would have thought sylvie beating loki with a stick would not bring in droves of readers???! shocking twist there!#& i don't consider sifki a rarepair but my rarepair standards are VERY strict like if there's >5 fics a pairing is basically mainstream#chasing popularity would annoy me though & i just don't have the mental spoons to try writing stuff i wouldn't personally read#yeah i *could* put my blorbos to work in a coffee shop but what cost to my own enjoyment levels? AT WHAT COST FANGELA???#you can't please everyone so you may as well just please yourself and if anyone else likes it you've found some fellow freaks so yay#i don't mean please yourself in a wanking sense. though feel free to do that too it probably counts as a cardio workout idk.#BUT ANYWAY#fic related#ps i am v glad there's the “warning: loki” tag because i think/hope it acts as a filter for 'he did nothing wrong in his life ever' types#who are Valid & etc obviously but i write my morally grey characters to be morally grey and the tag might help avoid conflict#though tbh i write almost every character to be morally grey in some way so i can't claim to have left my comfort zone here#(i'm not joking when i say the 1987-89 run of Dr Who shaped my entire future fannish life from a young and apparently v impressionable age)
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backslashdelta · 29 days
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they don't know how you've haunted me, so stunningly
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ssaalexblake · 1 year
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it’s also baffling to me that tumblr, home of the ‘why are white men Still being cast as the doctor’ for So many years now (For you know, like over a decade.) is somehow not appalled that they hired a white dude to be the next Doctor because look okay it’s okay if it’s This white man. 
I mean, I do not consent to acknowledge that they’ve shoved him in there under any circumstance, but my Only need for the casting of the next person was that it was Not a white man, otherwise i didn’t care who it was, so when they “announced” Gatwa I was satisfied (i am hesitant to say they announced it bc it was more like a tiny footnote than an announcement, oh the disrespect) and it took a whole seven days (it was literally seven days. Yes i counted. it was easy since it was only seven days) it was ‘actually sorry no it’s this white dude we’ve already had before did we forget to mention that???’ and it’s steadily gotten worse and worse. 
That This site of all places is not up in arms about both the situation and how it specifically played out is depressing, but also massively and darkly hilarious.  
Especially since i Also remember nobody on this site thought casting Whittaker was good enough but literally going backward to a previous white man is?? This is not even a metaphor about diversity getting worse, they literally looked backwards. 
But, yeah,  tenn/ant with the ‘what the future looks like’ headline is uh... Good???? Not super worrying and ominous? 
I feel like i’ve been dumped in some weird parallel universe by reactions to all of this on here like??? the whole way this was done was appalling, the situation is appalling, but i guess the bbc/disney should get a rousing round of applause for accurately judging that nobody would care about their poor actions if the specific white guy they cast was popular enough that next to nobody would care. 
( and to the ‘it’s an anniversary ep’ thing, they legit could have just set a couple of eps in the past. i don’t mean they travel to the past. i mean just say ‘hey this ep is set during s4!’ and nobody would care. this show does weirder stuff than this every second episode. and it would still be bad, but how they did it is so much Worse.)
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vt-scribbles · 2 months
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Something seriously lacking in my art is the ability to tell a story in a single illustration.
I've gotten so used to drawing my characters standing around doing random things that I've never practiced telling a full tale/putting implications into my pieces that require more thinking/looking.
It also comes from a lower amount of details in my works by default [since I like to get pieces done fast], but I'm tired of using that as an excuse.
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luvsavos · 5 months
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random vent(?) in the tags, feel free to ignore i just have a lot of pent up emotions to get out today apparently
#mar.txt#it's weird being aro(?) and yet also longing for a relationship. maybe its just bc almost all of my friends are in one#maybe it's bc of how easily jealous i get#maybe its the fact that i'm constantly being reminded that i am nobody's most important person. there's always someone more important.#maybe it's just the all-consuming,gaping hole of loneliness within me#idk.#i don't even know if i AM actually aro or if i'm just so demi that i may as well be aro or if ive just had so many bad experiences that it#feels impossible for me to feel romantic attraction#a few of my ocs (shara and the alatreon) are how i think i'd describe myself; aro,but willing to be in a relationship provided the other#person isn't bothered by them being aro,bc they have their own equivalent to romantic feelings#i know i'll never have one though. for all my confidence and whatnot i still very much am insecure about my own loveability. because the#only thing life has shown me is that i very much am not loveable. all the way back in first grade ppl were already using me instead of#actually caring#'dating' me to make someone else jealous. so they could have a drug buddie. a fuck buddie. so they could try to manipulate me into things#because i was a young teenager desperate for validation and to feel like i mattered and belonged and they were nearly adults who knew they#could exploit that. i'm surprised i never had anything happen to me beyond being pressured into trying chew tobacco (awful and disgusting)#and doing it every time i was around my 'boyfriend' and his friends#the only two genuine relationships i had didn't last either; one lost feelings after three years and the other just sorta stopped talking to#me and iirc eventually picked up a boyfriend that was actually local instead of long distance#i am not worthy of love. i will never be loved in the way that my friends are. hell i won't ever even find a qpp(?). and that makes me sad.#to know i will always be alone. that i'm destined to die alone. but it is what it is i guess. i just wish it didn't bother me so much.#i wish i could be content in my loneliness and not be jealous of everyone around me. i wish i could accept that i will never be anybody's#most important person. that the only person i can or will ever be the most important to is myself. self love,yeah? ha.#maybe 2024 will have something in store for me. god i hope it does. but i doubt it will. more of my friends will get into relationships,#those already in them will stay in them and/or take a step forward in their relationship. and i will remain alone. just as i always have.#anyways. sorry vent over i'm just. ugh. upset today. emotions are stupid and i want a refund on them. i did not ask to be saddled with the#burden of feeling such intense,suffocating displacement and loneliness. i did not ask to feel these negative emotions so strongly.#i just want to be someone's most important person. i just want to matter.
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I kind of miss getting to know the interior of other people’s homes. So many of my friendships in adulthood are distant, or long distance/only talking over the phone, difficult to make actual plans with because of Real Life Schedules Now, etc. etc., but like in school and stuff as a kid you can just hang out at someone’s house for a few days, have a sleepover every weekend, etc. etc. I still remember the interior of all of my childhood friend’s homes, I remember all the details to the rooms and the layout of the yards and etc. etc. There’s just something kind of neat about Knowing another person’s housing space, what the décor says about them, the history of how they came to live there and their household routines and what it’s like, etc. I feel like it can be an important part of really deeply understanding someone so it’s weird to talk to and vaguely know a handful of people, but also not even know what their bedrooms look like or how they organize the dishes after washing them or etc. etc. 
#'intrictae knowledge of another person in an extremely mundane way' my beloved#i also just really love looking at interiors like I'm fascinated with how people decorate their own spaces or what they have aorund#in the environment and what it says about them. Does anyone else snoop the backround of photos and videos and stuff?#like if theres a youtube video or a picture or something anyone posts and it has like a candid normal indoor space as the background#I'll pause or zoom in or whatever and really try to look around. see what's there. just make observations#not in a crerrpy way but just like.. idk I feel like it Says Something. I also love seeing people's computer desktops and phone screens#amnd looking at how they organize their apps or files or what aesthetic they give things. If I'm wathing someone play a game and they#accidentally exit to the desktop or something I always pause and try to see whatever I can glean from it lol#Bedrooms. Phone screens. Desktop of a computer. Also real life desk top that the computer is sitting on. etc. These are all spaces that are#mostly organized by and utilized by really just the ONE person themselves. like nobody else is going to usually be using your#computer or your bedroom nightstand. it's your space that you don't have to think about anyone else interacting with so they way you organiz#e and decorate it is very personal and Just For You. something about spaces like that are so interesting to me like in telling#little tiny details about someone and stuff. And also on a borader scale I just love thinking about how like. you could give 5 people the#same exact space and each of them would organize it and decorate it completely differently. and all of it would be an indication of their#tastes and personality and lifestyle. I used to want to be an apartment complex maintenace man because I would get to enter into everyone's#identical layout apartments and see how different they all are and what variety of things people have done to customize the same space#and what it might say about them or etc. etc. etc. Also probably weird but sometimes when throwing something away#I'll look at people's trash a little like if I'm in a realative;s house. which literally gives no important information but I love little#details like 'oh someone in the house had a snickers bar earlier today.' 'oh they bought a lightbulb I wonder which of the lightbulbs#went out' and then I look around the house at the shapes of the light fixtures or if there are any other clues (like a screwdriver or#ladder nearby) to see which one it is or etc. etc. ANYWAY .. idk..#one of my Big Fascinations. I just love seeing people's personal spaces and knowing little obscure mundane details that#dont matter really but it Matters To Me just because I love gathering every miniscule tidbit of data about anything in any situation#whether it's relevant or not. seek knowledge just for knowledge's sake I guess lol. Maybe thats an enneagram type 5 thing or something#else lol. ANYWAY.. thought about this because I have such a strong compulsion to ask everyone I know like long distance friends#for pictures of their bedrooms and phone screens and desktops but also for people who don't have the same Weird Interest In Interios#*Interiors and stuff that I do I feel like that just comes off extremely freakish ghbjhbb#I PROMISE IM NOT GATHERING DATA ON YOU! or like.. I am. but not maliciously. just in a manner of earnest detached intellectual fascination
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annie-thyme · 8 days
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and once again I am suddenly overwhelmed with an intense feeling of not really fitting into a gender
#honestly I don't even know what this is about I just saw some stories on insta and it's like oh look#she is so proud to be a woman whoa ppl...actually do that huh#and I just realised I never really felt that way like. not fully!! maybe a bit of that yeah but not to this full extent of this#womanhood thing#and I mean yeah I probably felt more of it in my teens and like 20s but it only just occurred to me that it's never been to this full extent#of being womanly and motherly and nurturing etc etc#and now I do not feel like that art all I mean I mostly am a creachur. a divine being. if you will. a freak#and I love it tomorrow I'm gonna go try on some skirts which I haven't done in ages and I'm definitely gonna be doing it in a queer way#not in a girl way#anyway#I know this is really weird going on tag rants here where nobody except a few of my mutuals (hey guys love you lots thought u should know)#is gonna see let alone read this but I really don't have anyone irl to talk to abt gender stuff and I mean I tried?#but just idk. ppl don't get it? like everyone in my life already knows I'm queer and they sorta hand wave it away like that is too#complicated and not that important - and it isn't!! but it also is!#I think they might have been more understanding and sympathetic if I were trans but I'm not and being nonbinary is somehow too difficult for#them to grasp idk#and when I say I don't want to be a different gender and feel increasingly outside and to the left of my assigned gender the more I think#about it they just. do not get it. and it is kinda discouraging and leaves me feeling like not talking about it with them ever#I don't know why I'm writing all this tbh#gender#queer things
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trans-cuchulainn · 1 year
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i guess the reason so many books featuring trans characters have them able to go stealth and make it so other characters don't know they're trans unless they say something is because that's an escapist fantasy for many trans authors who don't get that and want to imagine what it's like to live in a world where you don't get misgendered on sight every single day, and because they don't want to write about the latter (very fair)
but also when these are YA books it depends on the characters being able to medically transition at like 14 and i have literally never in my life met a single person who was able to do that (partly because I live in the UK where you can't and also I am old enough that for people my age, coming out as a preteen would've been way harder and rarer than it would be for current teen-aged protagonists)
so idk. i would like to read a book with trans characters who feel like real people living in the real world occasionally. it's hard to walk a path when you never get to see other people do it first and never get to witness it safely in fiction before you experience it IRL, and only ever seeing people walk roads that don't even exist in your reality doesn't really help at all tbh
#i have mostly only read fantasy and historical adult books with trans protags#aside from Confessions of the Fox i guess. which is still 50% historical#but i never come across contemporary-set adult books with trans protagonists#compared to the growing contemporary trans YA scene#this may be that i am looking in the wrong places#but i can more easily find historical trans romance than a novel with a relatable 20 or 30something transmasc protag#oh i did read detransition baby i guess. but it didn't really speak to me for various reasons#(most of them to do with me being trans in a different direction but not all of them)#anyway idk. i read a lot of YA because a lot of my friends write YA and it is easy for me to find things#but even though i am glad there are trans YA books now I can't relate to them at all#i guess because I didn't know i was trans as a teenager#so the trans teenager experience is always inherently one i did not have#i am looking for something that will never be what i need it to be#i want coming of age and self discovery and all that because I don't feel like I've DONE it yet in gender terms#that's why i want the YA vibes but. i guess as a 27yo still trying to do that I'm not going to find it there. not meaningfully#so i need novels about adults coming of age and figuring shit out and being newborn baby trans adults i guess. where are those#and nobody is allowed to be cool in those books because i am unable to continue reading about cool people sorry#néide has opinions about books
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piplupod · 21 days
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re: prev post, just an anecdote of my family's bs
i remember when i was trying to have a conversation w my family, esp my brother, a while back (last year) about the prev post's topic, and ohhh my fucking god. it was one of the worst convos I've ever had with them. my brother was whining about how difficult it was to not be racist and to know what qualifies as racist and what's "okay to say" etc (along with ableism, but racism was the main point of that convo at that point), so I said he just needed to go searching out some musicians and podcasters and streamers of colour and you'd pretty quickly diversify your media intake and pick up good habits and good viewpoints just through that one simple action. it's like,,, really not that hard to find POC to subscribe to/follow if you do a simple look-around in your usual spaces u spend time in on the internet.
and he said, and I quote, "i'm going to be honest, i just don't care enough to do that" and yet he had just been whining about how hard it is to not be racist and how he was stressed because people kept telling him he was being racist,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, head in my hands !!!!!! he went on to explain just how little he actually cared and how it seemed like too much work to him even though he'd literally just been complaining to me for like 20 full minutes about how he was so stressed and didn't like people telling him he was racist.
like i know what he wanted to hear was "its okay if ur racist, im sure ur just doing ur best :)" but i'm not going to fucking say that to him. even if it would make me safer in this hell house, i am not going to fucking affirm anyone's comfort in being racist.
#this family drives me nuts. i lost all respect for my brother that day ngl#and he has gone on to be continually racist and brush off anything i've brought up in family conversations about racism#like that one youtuber that he and another brother love so much that is white and bastardizing an indigenous spirit for profit#he got so fucking mad when i said the words ''white saviourism'' fdsjjkl i saw smth in him just snap when i said that about the youtuber#and then he uses ''tribal savages'' in his DnD campaigns and i'm just....... so tired. having to listen to him excitedly explain his-#-new campaign that he came up with and he's yet again using the tribal savage horrific stereotypes#and if i say shit about that then i get yelled at by the rest of the family and made to feel like im oversensitive and crazy#anyways. wah wah poor me etc. im sure this is somewhat normal and nowhere near the difficulties other ppl face#i just rly hate trying to slooowly teach them and suggest the tiniest steps towards being less racist and they get so fucking angry at me#im still smarting over yesterday bc i had to hold my tongue through a lot of shit and i feel awful about it#i want to teach them so they aren't going thru the world hurting ppl but i have to weigh my safety against it#and tbh they are not receptive anyways so i'd just be throwing away my safety for no real progress w them#but i feel like i have to try idk !!!! if i don't try then nobody in this family has any real hope of improving !!!#god knows theyre not going to take the initiative themselves. thats been proven repeatedly over my goddamn lifetime#sigh. head in my hands. tearing my hair out. etc etc etc#pippen needs 2nd breakfast
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anirudhpisharody · 1 month
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#alright these tags are super embarrassing but i needed to rant publicly so uh. you can read this but please don't perceive me too much#it is so fucking exhausting having nobody to share my life with#i have literally zero friends at this point bc ever since my grandpa died i've pretty much stopped trying to keep in touch with my hometown#friends and i cut off my 'friend' group that were racist assholes who treated me like a doormat back in october and haven't really made any#close friends at college since. and i just fucking hate that this is the same way i've felt for so many fucking years like you'd think it#would be bearable at this point and i'd be used to being alone and for a while i honestly was but it just hit me tonight how fucking lonely#i am and how tomorrow i have to keep on just doing the shit i have to do in life without anyone to talk to and share it with#other than my mom who's been pissing me off lately so i've been pushing her away too!#it's so tiring to have to go out and do things and have responsibilities everyday and not being able to share that with anyone idk it makes#it feel almost like i'm carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders which is SO dramatic i know#like today i wanted to talk about the stupid false alarm gas leak thing with my sort of friends in this club i'm in but i didn't get to talk#to anyone at the meeting bc everyone was just talking amongst themselves in their little groups of best friends and it just reminded me that#i don't have that and i've never fucking had that i've only ever pretended i had that#it's like all these years i've been pretending to be a person that has friends and knows how to live life normally but i never have#more than anything i just miss my friends from home bc they're the closest i've ever felt to having friends that are like family but. i#don't know how to talk to them anymore. i didn't tell any of them when my grandpa died and i think they just assumed that i've moved on so#they've probably moved on and i already know that they have their own lives and friends at their schools that are a lot more full than mine#wanna know the worst part about all of this? i just had therapy and basically told her everything's fine#and i won't meet with her again until 3 weeks from now so literally the only person i can talk to about this right now is my mom#which i am absolutely not gonna do bc she's gonna get so scared and worried for me and i can't have that rn#anyways yeah. this isn't even that big of a deal like i haven't had friends for at least the past 6 months it's not like anything's changed#i just feel extra sad about it right now. i need a distraction stat gonna go watch watch some tv goodnight#shut up hanna
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meezer · 1 month
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when I basically stopped talking to all my friends except one but then even I and that person aren't interacting all that much anymore........
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rawliverandgoronspice · 4 months
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anyway I think I have Impa's theme basically ready to be shared ;;
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wereshrew-admirer · 1 year
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.txt
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pabulumm · 5 months
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x
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brainfullofbees · 6 months
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#can i be so fucking honest right now#being like the only one in my friend group who doesn't do or even want to try drugs is so fucking isolating#i don't even want to be around it but i can't fucking escape it#they're constantly getting high before or while we hang out and i'm so tired#like we planned to hang out this past weekend and of course i get there and one of them is high and all they wanted to do was sit and#quietly watch always sunny#like. thanks. i barely get to see you guys and the one night in like 3 months i do we don't even get to talk really. cool#and then their parents and parents' friends were smoking in the living room all night as well#and nobody thought to fucking warn me about this even though they know about my shit fuck brain#and then like. the other times when i've made plans with someone and they've bailed because they wanna go drink and get high#thanks i'm glad i'm so fucking boring to you#i don't get to go to a lot of get togethers anymore because they're full of drunk and/or high people#and i'm just. tired.#sick of my shitty fucking brain that doesn't let me chill#sick of feeling like i'm bringing people down and stopping them from having fun#because i don't want to spoil their fun. i want them to be happy#i just. idk. sometimes i really feel like they don't want to invite me out specifically because of this#like i miss out on so much because i have big anxiety about drugs#it's tiring and i'm tired and sad and angry at myself and. idk#today's been. a day i guess
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