#but i am feeling better 💜

[bee-rosmyth-art]

Robots need love too :)

#artists on tumblr #illustration #my art #digital art #portal #portal 2 #glados #wheatley #chell #wheatley portal #chell portal #still recovering from being sick #but i am feeling better 💜 #just dont have the energy to draw all day like i used to

[cherry-bomb-ships]

Like father, like daughter..? 😅

I've seen ppl in the Crash fandom talk abt Coco being a little fucked up and evil despite bein' on the side of good and I love that. The idea of her sharing a few minor traits with Cortex would be fun, methinks

#ruby rambles #💜: the man of my schemes #🥭.frnd #coco bandicoot #neo cortex #and like dont get me wrong. i am NOT saying cortex is any kinda fathet to either crash or coco 💀 #THE deadbeat dad of all time 😂 #but idk man i just saw this expression from coco and i was like. hmmmmmm <0< #(feel like my point might have come across better with gifs but oh well. maybe later pfffff)

[deceptigoons-attack]

She just got let in. 😔😂 Typical Gunny Behavior™.

#She is feeling much better!!!!!! Thank you all for your thoughts & well-wishes! 💜 #To be honest I was not expecting her to get better like this - but obviously I am very happy!! 😭😭 #Gunny tag #my photos

[gummy-axolotl]

If you don't have a SOUL, what happens when you…?

#probably going to be the last one for tonight #I'm feeling a little bit better #and it's 1:40 am so I should probably sleep now anyway #gummyart💜 #undertale #undertale fanart #flowey #flowey undertale #art #digital art

[uhbasicallyjustmilex]

personal rant (tw chronic pain, chronic illness)

i don't normally post stuff like this on here at all because i love keeping this space here just for fun fandom stuff, but today has just been so unbelievably shit and i feel like i just need to scream into the void about it for a moment to try and process.

basically, me and my sister had vip tickets to meet and see this band today who's incredibly special to us. they were a total lifeline for us when we were growing up, but we never got the chance to see them live. in august when we finally got these tickets over ten years after we both started listening to them, we were both over the MOON. it was such a special moment for us, but also felt like such a milestone because both of us have been through so much since we were those kids sitting in my room finding so much solace in this band's music together. it felt like such a significant thing to be going to see them all these years later, having overcome so much and both of us being in places now that we never thought we could get to.

anyway, fast track to today and i woke up in excruciating pain. some of you might know that i have some issues with various chronic illnesses/pain already, and one of the conditions i have is endometriosis. for anyone who doesn't know, it's an incurable condition where tissue similar to the lining of the womb grows outside the womb and causes chronic pelvic pain, fatigue, and a whole bunch of other fun symptoms. but it's biggest symptom, for me anyway, is the WORST period pain you can imagine. like, no medications can touch it, passed out on the floor for hours, screaming in agony kind of pain. i've lived with it for over half my life now and yes, obviously it affects me - but also i've got pretty good at learning how to manage it, and i have it down to like. a day or two per month where i'm incapacitated by pain rather than half the days. some months i don't get days like that at all now. i wouldn't say i feel good - a lot of the time i'm in pain and on painkillers/carrying around a hot water bottle with me when i'm at home etc - but i'm like. mostly functional. it hurts, but when it does, usually these days i can push through it when i really need to (even if that makes it worse later).

but today? today of all days, i woke up with the most excruciating pain i've had probably all year. i couldn't see or move enough to reach out to my bedside table and take my painkillers, let alone think of getting on a train and going to a gig. it's been over twelve hours and i'm only now able to sit up enough to watch stuff on my laptop for comfort and type this out (and i'm still in a lot of pain). of course my sister had to go to the gig without me, because there was just no way i could physically move to get there. and i'm just feeling so shit because although of course she was lovely about it, she was so nervous about going by herself and also really sad we couldn't go together, and i feel so much like i've let her down and that my body hasn't just ruined this incredibly special thing for me but also for her.

i generally try not to dwell on the stuff i can't do because i've learnt that it's NOT helpful, and it doesn't change anything anyway. i'm used to missing things i want to go to and not being able to see friends sometimes, working and having no energy left to do anything but sleep at the weekends. and most of the time it's okay, i've kind of made my peace with it. but on days like today i just feel so sad about it, all the things i don't get to do - especially things like this which are such special, once in a lifetime kind of opportunities. i know i shouldn't really complain because on the whole i've been really lucky with the things i've got to do despite my condition - i think this is the first time in a good five years or so that it's caused me to miss going to something really big like this, and i've got to go and see so many wonderful bands over that time. but this one... they're just such a special one to me and to my sister, and it feels like such a loss. and it just brings home how much this condition really does affect me - i've got pretty good at downplaying it over the years, but it's days like today where i'm like, no actually. this is awful and there's nothing i can do about it. which is a really scary kind of position to be in.

i don't even really know what the purpose of this post was other than to just let some of that out. normally i'd speak to my sister about it because she understands it the most, but i didn't want to let her see how upset i was about not being able to go because i still wanted her to have the best time possible and not be worrying about me. anway yeah, sorry to anyone who's read all the way through this, i know it's long and rambly and super negative. usually i'm able to take this kind of thing in my stride, but today it just really got me and i just feel so sad and defeated. i know in a few days it won't loom so big, and there are other wonderful things on the horizon that i'll get to do - but yeah. for today, i think i just need to let myself feel sad.

#i am at least finally feeling physically a little better this evening #i have been comfort watching some of my favourite shows and i have my trusty hot water bottle #so i'll be okay #and shouting all that out into the void helped a little too #i'm going to get up and make some hot chocolate when my next lot of painkillers kick in and watch the new doctor who #anyway i'll stop rambling now #thanks to anyone who read and listened 💗 #i feel like not everyone gets how important bands can be to someone #but i know you all understand that here 💜 #chronic illness #chronic pain #endometriosis #lulu posts

[hcdragonwrites]

Your writing is absolutely amazing! Do you have any tips you could share?

THANK YOU !!

And oh dear. Mmm. Tips — well. My biggest one would be very simple - its one that I live with every day.

Read books.

All the books. Consume stories like they were water and food. Listen to audiobooks to get a feel of flow and tempo. Read mysteries and thrillers, horrors and romances, fiction and sci fi, fantasy and young adult. Read outside your comfort zone. Manga and light novels, comics and mythologies ! Any book will make you better at writing. At crafting a story.

If you read you will begin to find your own rhythm. You will see all the other rhythms and voices and how, though two may be similar, none are the same.

Storytelling is a fluid art. It comes in many media forms and whichever one you wish to master- sink yourself into it and consume its relative media. Wanna be a comic book artist? Read comics.

You learn by proximity. By consumption. If you cant find a teacher weeeeell …

Books are the best ones.

#hcwrites #writing stuff #personal things #aks #i wish i had more tips #but i truly dont #i feel when i write #i can correct myself at times when i feel a sentence go off the course #but even i am fallible and am still learning myself. i will forever be trying to get better then i am today #but my best tip is to devour #consume whatever makes you passionate and reap the rewards. #cultivate yer creativity in a sense. #sorry i wish i had REAL logical advice. but i do not #i am just a retail worker with passion for paper. #💜💜

[peachyykira]

.

#I don’t know how intentional it is #but the way he’s encouraging me and pushing me to take better care of myself in what feels like subtle ways just has mt heart all warm #this man helped me figure out budget friendly options for my groceries and is giving me different ways to put them together #I’m eating real food. meals. at home. for the first time in like at least a year? #he answers all my dumb baby cooking questions #he encourages me when i feel like idk what I’m doing (like today when I was making a breakfast bowl and nothing was done at the same time) #like idk how to explain it totally #but basically I feel CARED for. looked after. loved? #even though he’s 4 hours away #and like this is just one aspect! there’s so much more he’s doing all the time that makes me feel safer and happy #idk man. I just have a full tummy (of REAL FOOD) and am feeling feelings. #idk if or when he will see this but I just needed to get it out. I hope he knows how much I appreciate him 💜 #🤓 daddy #talking peach

[byanyan]

byan finally getting comfortable enough with someone that they'll let that person take care of them and even go to them for care any time they're sick/hurt/not in a good place mentally/etc. is such a fucking dynamic goal tbh

#they actually have... two relationships that're already there or close #and a couple that are getting to be within range of that potential #bit gosh it's just. THAT'S when you know they're fully comfortable with u #ur not only allowed to see them at their lowest and/or most vulnerable... but they actively come to u in those moments #that's them putting their full unwavering trust in u ok #that is no small fuckin thing alright. that is Huge. #look ok my weekend has been shit... I feel like garbage again today so I'm just. I'm thinkin about Them ajfkgsg #I am thinking about those prompts waiting for me even tho I still haven't got the brain to answer them adjgksh #love u guys... hope ur all having a better time than me lmao 💜 #━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ ooc ⋮ don’t @ me.

[goth-automaton]

When I think about it, it's pretty funny how in just two years I went from reviewing everything I create just in case it would be read wrong to going "fuck it, we ball" and just posting whatever the fuck I'm into.

People who want to misinterpret my shit will do it anyway. And I'm fine with that. No one has to like everything I create. I'm just doing what I like. And me liking it is enough.

#am I writing this to make myself feel better about what I do? #maybe #anyway #there are only two months left before 四肢切断・欠損の日 on Twitter and I have only one artwork so far #I wanted to do at least 4 #I don't have to but I want to #I want my creations to cover areas I'm interested in #and to share them with like-minded people 💜 #Hakanate once said #creativity

[laughinglynx]

.

#it is so pathetic how lonely I am right now #legitimately ridiculous #and I’m not even that mad at anyone other than me #for the fact that I can’t make in person friends #I wouldn’t want to be my friend either!! can’t blame anyone!! #I’m still pretty sure my online friends are flukes #and I try to not question that too hard #but like. come on. I know I’m not fun or warm or whatever #like I’m not stupid I know I’m the problem here #and I swear to god if one more person tells me it’ll get better eventually I’ll hit someone #(I won’t. I would never. but god it’s a thought.) #like yes I know it will get better. that does NOT make an impact on how I feel right now #ugh #(to be clear this isn’t dismissing my online friends. I love them more than I love pretty much anyone else 💜) #(not even pretty much it’s just a fact) #(I’m just extremely touch starved and miss getting to like. talk to people)

[bloodydeanwinchester]

okay this is such a random question but you're kind of like. in the larger group of spn fans and i was wondering how you feel about non-spn blogs like. interacting with things? this sounds so random but for some reason sometimes i get really self conscious of rbing from people because my url is for another fandom and sometimes i think people find that annoying- like im some kind of outsider or something?? idk this is so random and feel free to ignore it i was just wondering if things like this matter to you or anyone else when it comes to other people interacting? (so sorry if this is weird, again-)

okay so first of all this is not weird at all i love getting nice asks like this<3

and second of all the only thing that spn fans love more than obsessing over spn is GETTING OTHER PEOPLE TO OBSESS OVER SPN!!! no literally tho i know i cant speak for everyone else but i love it when people who are maybe outside of spnblr show some love for this thing that i love so much. to me it’s something that we can share together which i think is pretty cool. so no it’s not weird at all i think it’s actually really awesome<33

#i have found almost everyone that i have interacted with on spnblr to be really cool and friendly #now obviously i am an spn blog too so maybe it’s not the same for people from other fandoms but i think it probably would be #as long as you can accept how insane we are about this show tho lol im sure it can be a lot for the non insane people #anyway i hope this helps you feel better about it 💜 #anon ask #jenna.ask

[cherry-bomb-ships]

Was thinking earlier about Cortex's choice to use minions with sentience and how R. Marie would love her own loyal unthinking robots and would argue Cortex is "doing it wrong" when it comes to subservients, but then I thought... it's probably just his desperate attempt at having any type of connection to others. Yeah even if he created his mutant army and the robotic assistants, they can still think for themselves which means any type of connection with them is genuine, and not because they were just ordered to. Which kinda makes it hurt all the more when they end up ditching him...

#hrnshxhf sorry if this is too sad but i like this idea! #he is a pathetic little man and lucky for him i am attracted to that. he is getting so many kisses #ruby rambles #💜: the man of my schemes #🍒🧠: evil does it better #neo cortex #getting bold and putting this in the main tag. feel like other cortex enjoyers (the few that dont already follow me) will enjoy this

[tvrningout-a]

depicted: my muses while i go frolicking around faerun and try to decide who to romance

#ASDGH listen….. my sister wanted to watch me play :’ ))) #and who am i to deny her?? when i definitely always wanna play??? #i literally just got to halsin asdfg but i’m here now!! for a lil bit at least!! #dunno how much writing i’ll get done but thankfully i feel better than i did earlier #my headache was killer ngl #but i hope y’all are having a good night 💜 #get ready to ramble | ooc

[babacontainsmultitudes]

😭 BABS I LOVE U SM. IM SO SLEEPY BUT U SAW U ON THE DASH AND WAS LIKE OMG BABA I NEED TO TELL THEM I LOVE THEM

OMG CAAAAAAAL FIRST OF ALL I LOVE YOU SM TOO MWHA MWAH MWAH BUT ALSO BRUH I SWEAR I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU- nothing even remotely important shshsjka I was just walking back and forth between the cupboards and the fridge hunting for a snack (after forcing myself to get outta bed cause I too am quite sleepy I might add) and I thought "I bet Cal would understand this struggle they probably do this a lot too" LOL LIKE I SAID THE MOST INSIGNIFICANT THING BUT ANYWAYS HAD TO SHARE GOT VERY HAPPY WHEN I SAW YOU IN MY INBOX HEHEHEHE LOVE YOOOUUU 💜💜💜

#fr ur such a crazy sweet person smh smh I swear straight outta da candy shop #god I feel you on the sleepiness #like. #The Sleepiness #The chronic kind #Our burden to bear but it genuinely makes me feel better to know it's not just me fighting this battle haha #I AM WISHING MANY GOOD THING UPON YE CALCULUS INCLUDING SOME RESTFUL GODDAMN SLEEP #AND THESE HEARTS CAUSE ILY 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜 #asks

[mymitochondriaforpresident]

Young Royals Season 3

That’s it. That’s the post.

#YASSSSSSSSSSSSSSS #wilmon boyfriends :) #young royals #wilmon #netflix #young royals netflix #that s3 announcement picture made me cry more than the actual announcement #they love each other 🥹 #s3 my body is ready!! #i am tired of the angst that is ENOUGH!!!!! #the light in that picture 🥹💜 #i am a wilmon stan first and a peripheral yr viewer second #and i think s2 is better than s1 purely based on that last scene alone #i have a feeling on principle alone s3 will be my favorite #they are untouchable now really #netflix really out here coming through for a bitch (me) #the icing on the cake is gonna be that fucker’s downfall. you know it’s coming. #september going to jail??? #the grave??? #FINALLY #wake me up when september ends 😴 #😏😏😏😈😈😈 #LET’S FUCKING GO 😎 #update: like i better not see anyone bitching about this show getting renewed like for real. #they worked hard and it’s a beautiful love story and we NEED s3. #and it’s about more than being queer anyway it’s about being human. #and wille’s anxiety storyline? means a lot to me. #so y’all can catch THESE hands 🙌🏼 #get mad about hs or something else getting renewed lol #or better yet leave our boys alone and go touch some grass :) :) :)

[the-girl-who-cried-wolf]

I wasn't planning on reblogging the other ask because I'm embarrassed about the drawing but then I read your tags and was like: woah...

I told you about that day, I recall I described it as: I woke up today and my heart was hungry for something more. And you're so right, you got it exactly right. First of all, that fic sounds amazing. I have been reading a lot of fanfiction too lately, due to shortage of free time, but it's also a way to satisfy the yearning and daydreaming which sounds sick but it's really true, and I wish it wasn't that bad.

"Like it's painful sometimes but it's the very thing that's keeping us alive" <- this here got me, because I haven't been able to put into words!

When I wake up with this intense feeling, I feel like maybe I should take a step back (from whatever it is that's feeding these emotions, making them thrive), but then I'd feel such ache, like I have to consume whatever it is that could make me feel something, to relax, to stop this feeling from being so intense. It's a loop. I am literally so tired of it but I also love feeling it? I could curse it a thousand times but lowkey wait for the emotions to hit.

I don't know this is embarrassing for me and maybe I am delusional. [Stoned at the nail salon kinda feeling].

Have a great night/day, full of insanity 🫶

yeah i understand that! fanfic really is one of those niche things that just Helps So Much, even if it can almost become... can i say addictive? that's the only word coming to mind rn. like there's nothing else that quite fills that hole inside your heart, right? apart from music, maybe. (that's how it feels for me anyway.)

I've been trying to make more time for other hobbies and creative outlets lately, mainly drawing and painting, to try and focus more on creating things rather than just consuming fic after fic but there's so many good fics out there! i want to read them all!

and don't worry mais, i'm also delusional. i get it <3

(also i found the fic i was quoting! this one; a marvel fic from yelena's pov. i would recommend any and every fic by this author if your interested in marvel fics! i've been slowly reading my way through their ao3 page and i love all them so muchhhhh.)

#definitely stoned at the nail salon vibes for sure #like yeah maybe we did figure out the meaning of life !! but we're also just a pair of crazy girls that love the worlds in our heads <3 #and the worlds in OTHER people's head too <3 #and thank u i am having a great day full of insanity 🥰 currently vibing hard to friday im in love by the cure as i type this #it's RAINING i went out for BRUNCH earlier and it's been a GOOD day so far #i hope yours is even better 💜💜💜 ILY #mais <3 #ask #why can't i remember if ur into marvel or not #i have a feeling u are #at least a little bit #ANYWAYS #that ao3 profile has been feeding my sambucky obsession for MONTHS now <3333