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tinydefector · 12 hours

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Do you think cybertronians ever get a bit freaked out on how tough we are? Yes they can break us like toothpicks but humans seem to be able to take a good beating as well with adrenaline helping. Even our own body and oxygen trys kills us and yet we stick around like roaches. We're fragile in some reasonable and dumb ways and then resilient in the most dumbest ways.

Oh definitely, alot of the bots are very off put by how fragile humans are just in general and tend to avoid them.

But then there's the moments like Ratchet working a late shift and a small knock on the door alerts him someone's there, he turns around expecting it to be Rodimus or Whirl who he's about to scold but instead it's one of the humans and they look worse for wear. After fussing over them for a moment, detailed scans relay fractured ribs, a broken collar bone, and a heap of bruises and yet the humans just like. "Can I have some Panadol, Nurophen, and a glass of water?" Because they don't know what else to do its what they would get. Most of the times they ended up in the hospital. Ratchet is losing his God dawn mind as he rushes around looking for the best painkillers he can find for orgaincs in the smallest dosage he can give, hoping to primus it doesn't shut their heart down. In the end, they end up on a medication that makes them extremely drowsy, almost like the green whistle/ Weed.

Ratchet ends up doing alot of study on the human body and realises just how fucked up little monsters we are. We literally need oxygen to survive but he we have to much pure oxygen it will kill us. Water, we need a certain amount of it, if we don't have enough we will get dehydrated and die, if we have to much we will get water poisoning, intoxication, or a disruption of brain function. This happens when there's too much water in our cells, such as the brain and blood cells, causing them to swell. When the cells in the brain swell, they cause pressure in the brain, resulting in death. The issue is that it can become an addiction to drinking too much water for the effect it has on the body. Same with nearly everything we consume, it can kill us, but we need a lot of it in moderation.

Human: "I just need some basic pain killers and a nap"

Bot: "No, you need full surgery, sedations, and 3 weeks of recovery!"

Human: "nah she'll be fine!"

Bot: "Absolutely Not, bed now before I cuff you"

____________

Following that imagine a first contact AU where Cybertronians and humans are just slowly getting to know how the other works and next thing a human is kneeling over in horrific pain and it send the bots all into panic mode trying to help them, wondering what's happening and thinking they are dying. And the human after about ten minutes some pain killers still looking rather pale and unhealthy just go. "Sorry about that fuck I hate, Cramps/palpitations/ phantom pains/ and such" and the bots are just looking at them horrified like.

Bot: NOT NORMAL!!!"

Human: what you talking about?

Bot: everything that just happened you literally just short circuited!

Human: nah that's causal wait till you see the really funky shit.

______________

Human pet AU

Cybertronian's keeping humans as pets is like humans keeping hamsters. Humans are some of the most homicidal, suicidal and just deranged creatures that Cybertronian's could keep as pets. It's gotten to the point that they are a luxury/ exotic pet because if you do not feed them the right stuff, give them the right amount of light and socialising, and they will just die. There are so many Cybertronian's who take their human into clinics worried as and its just the human being a little bustard because they didn't get the treat they wanted 2 weeks ago and are still holding that grudge. Not to mention, we are prone to causing as much trouble and issue. We are like cats.

But we are also very easily sick and primus forbid a human gets sick because to a bot they think it's a death sentence for their sweet little spitfire of a human who they have had now for ages. And the human looks ready to die, and the next day, they are up and about like nothing ever happened.

Human: if you don't feed me the meals I want I'm going to pretend to die. If you do feed me what I want I might actually die because I shouldn't be eating it.

Panicked bot: "MY HUMAN HAS GOTTEN SICK. HELP!?!"

Human: totally worth it.

_________

In conclusion, the cybertronians are rather wary/ concerned about how resilient humans really are.

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martinpilled · 16 hours

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nika x fem reader with nika falling hard for a reader who’s in like a STEM related job? like basketball is like not her thing, but she learns about it for nika?

you know how to ball, i know aristotle

– warnings : n/a

– summary : you and nika meet at a bar one day and immediately become close friends, the friends title changes the second she gets a basketball into your hands though.

a/n : FIRST NIKA FIC!!!! i loveeeee nika i am very excited rn. also idk Croatian, bare with me and google translate !

The night you met Nika was one of the best nights you've ever had. You two had met through mutual friends and ended up at the same bar and had a blast. You two got absolutely wasted together and immediately became close, sharing many stories. Even after that night you two hung out every week. You attended her games, and god she was hot. Earnestly, you had no clue what was going on. You did microbiology and had no fucking clue about basketball.

You were honest with Nika about this,

"I've never even watched a basketball game before, are you sure you want me to come?"

"Of course dijete, I want you there to support me." She grinned.

She called you something in Croatian often, dijete, she told you it meant something completely different than it did. She was actually just calling you baby. She was just as head over heels as you were.

As you went to more games, you started to pick up on certain things, you understood how the scoring worked and how plays were made, and Nika was thoroughly impressed with how quickly you picked up on everything. She also appreciated it heavily. After a game one day, she made an offhand comment about it,

"You're getting smart about this, I'll have to 1v1 you some time." She winked.

The thought of playing basketball with her made your heart race, she was so hot while doing it you weren't even sure you would be able to focus.

Weeks pasted and she had seemingly forgotten about the 1v1 comment, you assumed she would never act on it.

You were laid out in the living room of your apartment, matching mindless tv, when a buzz came through your phone.

Nik: Can I come over in a bit? I have something I wanna do.

You shot back a text almost instantly.

Y/N: Of course :)

You had no clue what that something was, maybe she just wanted to hang out. About a half an hour had passed when there was a knock on your apartment door, you opened it to see Nika standing there in a tight fit white tank top and basketball shorts. She was holding a basketball in one arm and with her other she was holding an extra pair of shoes.

Holy shit.

She was fucking gorgeous. You cleared your throat to cover up the fact that you were definitely staring in places where best friends don't stare. She smirked at you, she knew you were staring and it made her smile, which made you blush.

"I'm taking us up on the 1v1, I wanna play with you. Go get changed into something athletic and we'll go down to the park." She said, pushing past you into the apartment and sitting on the couch. You didn't question her demands, you just did them. You would only do that for Nika, no asking questions, just trusting her.

You rushed into your bedroom and checked the weather app on your phone before deciding a sports bra and shorts would work since it was hot outside. You went back out to the living room to see Nika laying back, playing something on her phone. Once she heard you come in she sat up and looked you up and down.

"Lookin' good, dijete" She winked and the blood rushed to your cheeks. You stared at her for a moment, face completely flushed before quickly snatching the shoes from her hands and going to put them on.

You two walked down to the courts in the park of your complex and talked.

"You're gonna have to go easy on me, I barely know anything."

"You're smart, you'll figure it out quickly." She smiled as you two made it to the outdoor courts. She set down a water bottle and dribbled the ball around. She directed you on where to stand for the tip off and you two started playing.

It was a bit rocky at first, she made multiple points on you til you finally made one. She gave you a solid chest bump to congratulate you.

"You did it!" She cheered, hugging you right after. You two were both sweaty and sitting in the sun hugging each other. Once she pushed away you could see her baby hairs sticking out of her ponytail and sticking to her skin with sweat, she was slightly out of breath and you watched her chest rise and fall.

You seriously had a staring problem.

She kicked the ball to the side and you were confused, she came closer to you, so close your lips were practically about to touch.

"Can I kiss you?" She murmured.

"Yes."

#nika muhl #nika mühl #nika muhl x reader #uconn wbb #lesbian #wnba #wbb #seattle storm #kal.fics

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kakashixhatakesxwhore · 2 days

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Random NSFW headcanon please? (If you do nsfw...)

alrighty roo, buckaroo, lets discuss kinkage - thank you so much for the request

Random Kinks They Deffo Have

They: Iruka, Kakashi, and Itachi (with additions of Sasuke and Shikamaru) (f!Reader)

Warnings: whew! Swearing, explicit smut, power play, somno/free use, auralism, names of authority, praise kink, spit/blood/cum play, idk just please be 18

Notes: This one is for the freaks, obvi Boruto!Sasuke and Boruto!Shikamaru, I'm begging for everyone's thoughts and opinions

Masterlist💿

Iruka

Power Play

He just fucking loves when you take control

Anything you tell him to do, Iruka will do compulsively, and he's absolutely twitching when you tell him how good he is for doing so

All! About! Your! Pleasure!

Iruka's favourite encounters would be when he's not allowed to touch you, though, funnily enough

You're riding him, and all he can do is watch your sultry smile and feel your pussy hugging him tight - he wants to feel you, to run his hands all over your body - but he can't - or else you'll slow down to a halt and sometimes even pull him out, just to give him a beration of sorts

Now, that said, Iruka does not fuck with demeaning talk - you better love on this motherfucker, he's trying his goddamn best for you, and if you should negate that, it would allow a dark cloud to form over Iruka's mind

You don't want that, right? Exactly. So you keep it sweet, you give him stupid, little commands then fan the flames of his ego when he completes the command in spades

Lowk gets boyfriend-brain when he's with you, so kinda does need to be told what to do

Iruka is a sweetheart!!! He's always going what he can for you, all the time, even if you don't explicitly ask him to every time

Kakashi

Free Use/Somnophilia

When you said you would be okay with giving it a trial run, Kakashi was elated, and fucked you four seperate times that night, and began again before you woke up in the morning

He fucks you slow, almost trying not to wake you up, but the stretch is unmistakable

"Good morning, pretty lady. Have any good dreams?" He would ask, noticing your quickened breath, making you instantly relax into the situation

You love it - you stop sleeping in any amount of pant, just so Kakashi could have you as he pleased

When you got home, he would be pressing you against the door, when you try to start chopping vegetables for dinner, he would bend you over then pop you up on the counter when he just couldn't get enough

Kakashi's condition is that everything spontaneous happens within your shared, lovely, little home

He might sneak you away occasionally while the two of you are out, finding a small cache in the forest, but Kakashi would be asking for permission, assurance, consent at every step of the way - public is just different, but he's not entirely opposed

Kakashi just can't believe he's got you, and every time he looks at you, he needs to have you

Itachi

Auralism

He needs to hear you; the way your voice quakes, the way your nails rake across the skin of his back

Itachi's favourite sound though, is the harmony of your bodies meeting, skin smacking skin, squelches and a slick plunging sound, filling the room

Yeiff - let alone fucking outside - my god - Itachi wants your encounter to be so loud that the whole world knows what's going on

With his shit eyeslight, Itachi would prefer to close his eyes while fucking you, letting your beautifully wanton sounds paint a picture in his mind

In a perfect world, he would totally love to get tied up with a blindfold on - just to be at the mercy of your light touch and the intoxicating sound of your pleasure - Itachi would break the binding eventually, desperate to have his hands on you, needing to fuck you hard enough to hear the smacking and sloshing

Itachi is also the primo dirty talker, insisting you reply to him through your stinted pants, sharp gasps and breathy moans

His whole arousal around the subject of sound is cranked up to ten the second the two of you are in public - your little yips when he squeezes your ass, or the biting 'Itachi' that slips out of your mouth when he corners you to cop a feel

Oh, he fucks with names, you can call him whatever the fuck you want, so long as he's the one you're screaming about - but he likes it when you speak to him with more authoritarian honorifics (sir, daddy, lord)

Sasuke

Praise

Ooh, tell him he's hitting the spot and Sasuke would lose it, only trying to hit the exact same spot again

If you're ever out, singing his tune to another party, about anything, and Sasuke catches wind, he's taking you home immediately to prove he can provide more than you bargained for

Y'all, lets be real, and acknowledge that sweet Sasuke craves praise in any and all capacities, but most fervently in the four walls of your bedroom

Again and again, it doesn't matter how many times you tell him, he wants to hear it again

"Sasuke, your cock is so fucking big," you gasped as he slid in slowly.

"Louder. Tell the neighbours."

Loves, loves, loves to be able to hear the affect he's having on your body, every wave of pleasure, every jolt from your orgasm

Even if it's visibly clear that he's got you like putty in his palm, Sasuke will demand that you tell him how good he is, how deep he can reach, how much your pussy loved him

You're a blabbering mess, and it strokes Sasuke's ego to no end that he can bring you to this point, absolutely drunk with pleasure

Shikamaru

Spit/Blood/Cum Play

Anything Shikamaru can ingest that comes from your body (not excretions, sickos), he will

It's insane when you two hit the trifecta - Shikamaru cumming all over a patch of knicks on your stomach then spitting on the pile of liquid, he would mix it all together with his index finger, on top of you, before he would lean down and lick it all up, shoving the finger covered in the rose-tinted mixture into your mouth

Mm mm mm, and your cum, my good Christ, does he ever love your cum

Nothing brings Shikamaru so much joy as pulling his fingers out of you, being coated in a shiny slick

There's also something about the way your face screws up every time he brings a kunai into the bedroom - Shikamaru goes weak in the knees when he sees your crimson blood, glinting on the tip of the knife, losing it even further when you lick it off without hestitation

He's going to cum on your face, just to see you try to open those pretty eyelashes of yours, beads of white weighing them down

Shikamaru had no clue he was into fluids, until you randomly asked him, one day, to spit in your mouth - it's been a done deal since then, spitting just comes with the territory eventually

He always loved seeing your body get painted with his cum, but it's a whole different ball game to watch you play with it, to watch you lick it all up without wasting a drop like you used to do (honestly, Shikamaru can't even remember why he used to wipe his cum off of you)

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shesmore-shoebill · 20 hours

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new blood on the clocktower video is SO fucking good, wowwwww. Might become a new fave. Like, baller lineup, but also everyone played really well! Everyone was fully locked in, being very funny, thinking about their moves (even if they were confused), and like. People generally made really solid calls that kept the suspense Up™ and did big brain plays. Especially Arasha and Tommy. holy shit.

And on that topic. New unexpected fave duo, tomrasha????????? They started out strong with the dual bit of silently grinning and staring at the camera and continued to be deeply charming and deadpan and beautiful while lying their asses off throughout the video.

Arasha especially did her work so beautifully. Oh my god. Incredible. Queen of Lies. I was absolutely rooting for her and Tommy to win by the end 😭. Navigated Courtney's suspicion, won her over, successfully played into the confusion between Amanda and Anthony and Angela and Trevor, AND even threw off Chanse who I think is unarguably one of the best at these games. So cool under pressure, so well spoken and also gave us. The Jizzler™. She can really do it all.

That said, if they were going to lose, at least it was through Angela doing something ill-advised that somehow also blows the whole thing wide open, combined with Amanda not understanding the rules. The Changela yelling match somehow turning into CORRECTLY IDENTIFYING THE DEMON AND THEN SWAYING EVERYONE INTO A TOTAL 180 is the funniest fucking thing possible. What a GREAT video.

my only complaint is i wanted more info about whatever the fuck they were talking about during the night rounds bc the clips of sentences we were catching were unhinged.

#smosh #smosh games #what a fucking fantastic video. i will be clipping stuff from this for sure.#amanda lehan canto #arasha lalani #angela giarratana #courtney miller #chanse mccrary #anthony padilla #blood on the clocktower #botc #tomrasha #going to screenshot and clip so many clips from this once i have time....

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girlsworldillusion · 3 days

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Guys, with all due respect, WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN THE FANDOM?

I disappeared for a few days and when I came back I thought the war had started. I swear, I thought I was on x. The season two hasn't even premiered, and people are fighting like their lives depend on it.

Sweetheart, you know this is a show, right? Is not real. There is no reason for you to spew hatred towards each other - because in the end, it is all pointless. You are fighting and offending each other and creating tension over fictional stories that will have no interference in your lives.

It's okay to choose a side, HBO itself is friendly encouraging this with that "green" and "black" trailers. But you understand that there is a limit to everything, right?

All I've seen lately are violent and offensive discussions about the 'Lucerys vs Blood and Cheese case' and which atrocity is more justifiable...FOR GOD'S SAKE! None of them are justifiable!! When will you understand that there is no one right in this shit?

I'm not commenting on this without basis. There are several recent posts here on Tumblr with big blogs engaging in cruel debates, using rude words to offend and hurt, using the "loyalty" to their chosen team as an excuse... seriously guys, you've lost track of the limits.

Honestly, it's unnerving. I absolutely love the fandom, especially because of the wonderful people I've met over these almost two years. But I swear sometimes I don't even know what I'm doing here yet.

And the season two hasn't even premiered...

I'm really afraid of what's coming.

#house of the dragon #hotd season 2 #team black #team green #aemond targaryen #ewan mitchell #rhaenyra targaryen #aegon ii targaryen #alicent hightower #aemond one eye

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velvetvexations · 2 days

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I've mentioned before that I'm scared of posting too much in the transandrophobia tag because I'm constantly paranoid about overstepping in basically any context for any reason, but it's important to me, just on a purely selfish level, that I talk about the absolute fucking shit I have gotten for being a trans woman who disagrees with consensus about transandrophobic discourse. Like, I am furious. The actual, literal transmisogyny here is making my blood boil. I am nerve-twitchingly angry about how I personally have been treated by people who's names will be redacted because I'm such a nice wonderful generous fucking woman. The message I sent and the bullshit gossiping about me that incited it below the cut.

Shot:

That's not what "literally" means. Idiot.

Chaser, which if I were funnier would be some kinna pun:

I forgot to address this, but the next morning after I was getting swarmed with that person's anon hate, a non-anonymous user sent me an ask about her being a trans separatist, and my only commentary was that I found that disagreeable and more appropriate to come to me criticizing someone over. Furthermore, I want to highlight that in that commentary I called the (assumed transmasc via language) anons I received the night before "freaks" - because shortly thereafter one of the points used against me to prove I was a crypto-TERF was that I referred to transandrophobic transfems as "freaks".

I've also been accused of maliciously they/theming trans women, so anticipate more of that because a "them" snuck in there once while referring to the blog I was accused of brigading. I want to note that as I've said in a previous message, in the project I'm currently working on a TERF is punched so hard she loses multiple teeth for doing exactly that at the worst possible time.

#transandrophobia #transmisogny #seriously I want to shatter glass in my hand

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rocknroll7575 · 2 days

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Gardian ghost

*In leader class*

Pyrrha: (OK Pyrrha just apologize for what Weiss said and promise to be a better leader and just maybe you can salvage your friendship with Jaune) Hey Jau-

Jaune: Unless Weiss genuinely apologies for what she said my team and I don't want to talk with your team and I already told the teachers that until the bad blood we have is resolved we don't want to be in groups or the like unless absolutely necessary. Oh don't worry I only told them we are having an issue with certain members so they won't force us to get along for now at least, you can keep this table I'll move some were else.

Pyrrha: *Sadly watches ARCZ walk away*

Yang: Yikes... that's cold

Arslan: Can you blame them though? Weiss fucked up majorly, hell have you noticed that even CFVY is giving us the stink eye?

*Yang Looks over at CFVY who glare at them with disgusted looks*

Yang: *Groans* Greeeat! If Ruby hears about this she's gonna be so disappointed!

Arslan: Screw whatever your sister thinks, if this keeps up, who cares if we're the strongest team, can you imagine what would happen if we're out on a mission and need backup? No one is gonna come and help us! We're public enemy number 1!

Yang: *groans louder* Shit... ya right...

Arslan: *turns to Pyrrha* so what now... Fearless leader? We can't let this go on

Pyrrha: I know... let me think of something and I promise we'll get this fixed, I promise.

Yang: You better, because I don't wanna be on the same team as the 2nd worst Schnee in modern history.

#rwby #rwby meme #rwby asks #rwby au #rwby guardian ghost au #pyrrha nikos #yang xiao long #arslan altan #team pays

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notquitedeadpod · 6 months

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sometimes i get caught in little brain loops about the mechanics of how vampires eat. i get lost in the sauce about how much blood they'd need, what the exact mechanism for that might be

then i have to be like 'no u gotta be more loosey goosey about this' bc in reality, blood is so nutritionally incomplete that vampire bats, the only mammal obligate blood-eaters, consume so much blood just to get enough nutrients to live that they sometimes can't take flight after a meal, and have to piss pretty much constantly in order to get rid of excess water weight to be able to fly

which isn't very sexy

#and it IS very important that the vampires are sexy #so they can't have 'normal' digestive tracts #that would be hilarious though #more power to people who want to write vampires who need to consume so much blood they have to just lay around all bloated #pissing themselves to deflate enough to move #it's also really hard for vampire bats to rear their young #like if you think about it #the blood has to provide not just nutrition for the mother but also be converted into milk to nourish the batlings #but blood is absolutely SHIT to use for this #so the babies take FOREVER to grow #anyway thanks for coming to my TED Talk #eira speaks

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reds-skull · 3 months

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I am thinking about yet another AU

#call of duty modern warfare 2 #cod mw2 #cod ghost #cod soap #john soap mactavish #simon ghost riley #call of duty modern warfare #cod fanart #call of duty fanart #so yeah thinking about a futuristic au #but its like. Knights. In the future.#they use swords and shields and instead of horses they have motorcycles. And ghost is a full on robot android thing #soap is just wearing a helmet... bc its cooler #gaz and price are also in this au but i. didnt have time to design them #so just to keep track i now have blood hunger to finish #rev au part two planned after it #and this. new. goddamn. au.#do i have time for all of that? no #am i still gonna do it bc i like all of those ideas way too much? probably #am i doing this instead of working on the shit i actually need to? absolutely #uhh also the working title for this au is #cyberknights au #and ill edit this if i decide to change that

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samarecharm · 2 months

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roughhousin'

#persona 5 #goro akechi #blood #WHO was he fighting?#its ryuji #dont worry its good for them. its enrichment #this would be the first time they really fight #ryuji n makoto spar all the time and they eventually add goro to the mix #but BEFORE hes buddy buddy w them he is still um.#a piece of shit whos cocky and full of himself #and is a hell of a bully w a shit attitude w a habit of running his mouth #so this would be him severely underestimating ryuji and getting his pretty face roughed up #ryuji looks just as messy but hes used to it. goro however is absolutely NOT used to getting his ass beat #humbling him one ass whoopin at a time #SOMEDAY i will draw his redesign w a fullbody #theres not MUCH changed except for the gauntlet weapons and added harness #but it would be nice to draw it up to see his body type. very defined arms. very toned everywhere else. very Tall. very Legs.#very intimidating. someone who thoroughly enjoys throwing his muscle around to get what he wants. hes a brute and he embraces it #its just. well he has met a team that had their own muscle (ryuji and makoto) and hes a bit peeved that it doesnt work on them #sorry man; u gotta learn some new tricks heehee

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love-toxin · 3 months

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"i support women's wrongs" yeah but do you support whatever the fuck eun-ji has going on in all of us are dead?

#rerunning aouad for the 2nd season soon while im writing term papers feel free to scream about it with me #god i love her. character development <3 i absolutely need to see her go off the shits in s2 #not only do i support women's wrongs i support the full antagonist arc of girls on a quest for vengeance & chaos <3 #all of us are dead #min eun-ji #aouad #eun-ji aouad #tw: blood #ellie talks

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bonetrousledbones · 10 months

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legitimately the only explanation i have for the process of this is that i listened to lights out by mindless self indulgence once and blacked out for an hour

#trousled arts #eye strain #blood #injury #?#i mean half his face is gone . so #papyrus #undertale #i did most of the coloring with my screen filter on because it is 2:49 am #and then i removed it just to check and. look yall are so lucky i did that ok #all of these colors were at their Absolute value. as in instead of getting them off the color wheel i used the number sliders #as in that red was (255 0 0)#and then i took off the filter and flashbanged myself #god. msi is full of shit people but they hype me up so much apparently where the hell did this come from #i guess my brain decided its been too damn long since i drew papyrus covered in blood. FINE !!!!!!#edit switched out the scanlines for a cooler texture lol #edit edit added the scanlines version back in because i am indecisive 😎#edit edit edit yknow what they have been combined. whatever

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trek-tracks · 1 year

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If Jim is the pina colada of mental health, Bones is the whiskey sour

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epicfirestormer · 10 days

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What I love about Hellboy and Abe Sapien's dynamic in the comics is that, if you came into this blind, you'd expect Abe to be the voice of reason or the straight man to Hellboy's impulsive and hotheaded personality. But no, Abe is more often than not the crazy one. Hellboy would deal with fighting evil monsters and bad guys by just sighing and getting it over with, while Abe is going rabid over tearing the creature apart when he does get into a fight. Hellboy acts like it's a 9-to-5 job and will reasonably talk things out with a guy that had nearly killed him before, Abe acts like a madman in a slaughter house and his first instinct is to shoot first kill second and ask third. They're both insane, but on completely different levels.