#but almost every other girl in the show

[namari-hime-moved]

me and magical girl genre deconstructions are at war

#ive never posted about it on here but magical girl anime has been a very very long running interest of mine #my credentials are having watched a bunch of classic 80s magical girl shows and Almost all of precure and a bunch of other stuff #and its just. every deconstruction ive watched so far doesnt even understand what makes the genre tick #BROTHER I CAN TELL YOU SKIPPED MAHOU SHOJOU CLASS #theyre all like 'heh wouldnt that be fucked up. nothing personell kid. childhood = soul murdered' #and im not even saying magical girl media cant be dark it very much can i enjoy when it does. what im saying is they do all edge no point #HALF OF THEM DONT EVEN CARE ABOUT THE GIRLS #OR DECONSTRUCT THE GENRE FOR THAT MATTER. THEY JUST ADD ON TOP OF EXISTING GENRE CONVENTIONS BADLY #sorry this is a topic i am just very passionate about #mel talks #this post isnt about madoka btw. i have Many thoughts on that show but they arent listed here

[the-lark-ascending69]

Lab kid Robin who was thought to be dead by the lab at age 15 during an experiment gone wrong and was "discarded" and then found by the russians. They couldn't quite make their own supernatural kids but they might as well "recycle" this one. They had to compete with the other american kid somehow.

So they kinda brainwash her and send her to the school so she can get closer to the gang and try to kill El.

Accidentally getting adopted by Joyce Byers was not part of the plan but she's not complaining.

#lab kid Robin AU #feauturing: El happy to find another ''sister'' #edgy indie jonathan trying to show Robin his ''real music'' for super special 'not-like-the-other-boys' boys #extremely well-calibrated gaydar Will vs. frustratingly bad gaydar Robin who couldn't recognize a lesbian if she was proposing to her #awkward but supportive Hopper who always drives her to and back to school thinking something about this girl's behavior feels oddly familiar #and surprisingly protective Nancy who despite going through a rough patch with Jon she shows up at Joyce's door almost every day to hang out #with this new weird girl whom she's sure has some connection to the lab and Nancy must prove her theory despite having no proof #also she's really pretty #yeah theres ronance in this but it comes later

[neon-in-the-night-time]

casting directors of literally any percy jackson adaptation when they get to the part about clarisse wearing a xxxl t-shirt (meaning she is fat or at the very least muscley enough to be wearing a 3XL shirt that fits her comfortably)

#percy jackson #pjo #like. dior goodjohn fucking slayed #but you couldn’t have casted a fat girl? #come on #the movies make sense bc they suck #then the musical was a little more sus but they’re double casted #and gOd fOrBiD they have a fAt giRL play characters that were skinny in the book #but come on. what was the show’s excuse #especially when (almost) every other casting was literally perfect #(i say almost bc i’m still not 100% on board with lmm hermes) #rr crit

[yotd2009]

oh yeah. the reason why i decided to reread tbhk (and thus it was able to hit me like a truck this time around) was actually not bc of mitsukou going canon but actually bc i maybe accidentally started a tbhk book club w my kids at work and wanted to check the contents of it justttt in case before i put the books in their hands

#tl;dr i have this one 4th grade boy who's a total weeb and knows that i'm the only one in this town who's more into japanese media than him #so he pesters me abt it every time he sees me. and the thing abt this kid is that he gets bored easily and if he does he turns into a #complete menace. now a couple weeks ago. he shows up at the program w one piece volume one and spends the entire time he's there peacefully #reading and not causing any problems on purpose. my coworker owen (the one who climbed onto the roof) and i were shocked and in awe of how #peaceful he was being and came to the conclusion that he NEEDS to have a manga volume in his hands at all times. few minutes later. #he finishes reading and isn't bored yet so he decides to go talk to me abt manga. specifically he starts pestering me abt what shonen i've #read despite the fact that i am a shoujo reader and told him that. but he knows i've read kuroshitsuji bc he previously asked me abt what #the worst anime i've ever watched is and i will never not take an excuse to drag the adaptation. and he figures that if i've read kuro i've #probably read more. and so i mention tbhk and he asks more abt it bc of the name involving toilets and him being a 4th grade boy so i give #brief overview and he wants to read it. and i come up with a scheme to make him peaceful AND to give him something to talk to me abt which #isn't 'i know you've read more shonen manga' 'let me gacha on your phone' or 'i saw an ad for rent a gf. thought it was lame. and now want #you to tell me how it sucks bc i assume you know everything abt every animanga ever' (<does unfortunately know too much abt rent a gf bc i' #a bit of a nosy bastard and watched the mother's basement video). so i offered to bring it in bc i own physicals of the whole series and of #as previously mentioned. gave it a quick reread in advance just in case. and got hit by it. hard. i love you tbhk almost as much as i love #when ppl get into things through me. honestly i think getting to live vicariously through him might be one of the main reasons it got me #this time around and not as much the first time (still loved it the first time though). flash forward a little while. one of the 3rd grade #girls is like. really into reading. and also macabre things. like ghosts. and she has two books from the school library. and has had the #same two books from the school library for over a week. she reads quickly and finished them both in under a day and is now bored out of her #mind rereading them. she asks to read the books i've been letting the other kid read. now there are two of them #romeo.txt

[themidnightcircusshow]

@heartofstanding tagged me in this meme months ago and unfortunately it took me this long to get to it because I had a mild crisis over how long it's been since I've read a novel, let alone one that I loved 😅 so this is nine of my favourite novels (not books, because if I included manga/short stories/comics/etc this would be giant)

0The Picture of Dorian Gray -- Oscar Wilde// Pyrrhus-- Mark Merlis//The Scarecrow--Ronald Hugh Morrieson//Unnatural History--Kate Osman//Tunnels of Blood--Darren Shan//The Coffin Dancer--Jeffery Deaver//Hero--Perry Moore//Frankenstein--Mary Shelley//One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest-- Ken Kasey

#TPODG I feel like is obvious. But a genuinely hilarious book that is also poignant and tragic and so /so/ compelling #The more work you put into it the more you get out of it and I get so sad every time I see people #not wanting to look deeper than what's beyond the surface #Pyrrhus gets the extremely high honour of Greek Myth Retelling That is Actually Good #it's less about the Trojan War and more about the journey there set in the 1980s gay scene #the cursed spot that gets Philoctetes abandoned is an effective allegory right until the moment it isn't an allegory at all #and you should see the gut punch coming but somehow you don't #The Scarecrow is my Token Kiwi Representation and it's also the one that got me into the genre I now write almost exclusively #reading it feels like watching a cheesy low budget slasher that accidentally says some really interesting things about sexism and misogyny #(I say accidentally because it is the 20s and my tutor very loudly hated this book for being sexist) #(and I both totally agree and disagree because Prue is the prototypical final girl and needs an adaptation that does her justice) #Also the story of this novel's publication is freaking hilarious and why I will only write under a pseudonym because I would be next #Unnatural History is an exact blueprint of what I love about sci-fi done well in the way we've only very recently started to see on screen #and I hate that the show of Doctor Who rarely if ever reaches this level #Tunnels of Blood is my favourite of the Darren Shan Saga but really is just a stand in for the entire series #yes it's a kids series but it's a kid series that got me into horror and surrealism #and delivers the most effective and heartbreaking plot twist that not even Hannibal pulled off as well #The Coffin Dancer is just some damn good crime fiction and I wish Jeffery Deaver wasn't so slept on #(yes I know The Bone Collector got an adaptation but The Bone Collector isn't even in the top ten of the Lincoln Rhyme series) #unfortunately Deaver's strongest point is his use of point of view #but he still manages to get the twist to be shocking (and Coffin Dancer is the best example of it) in a way that other media fails at #Hero is about a gay disabled teen with superpowers and somehow tumblr does not know about it #It is such a fun riff on superheroes while also being genuinely sweet and touching and sad #It was meant to get a tv show but the writer passed so it got stuck in production hell :( #Frankenstein is Frankenstein. It's just good on like every level. Victor is my problematic fave. I will take no criticism. #I am however on my knees hoping the Guillermo Del Toro adaptation finally gets it right #one flew over the cuckoo's nest means so much to me but no one ever talks about it beyond the Ratched and Mcmurphy stuff #who are the least interesting characters to me. And I find the debate about the sexism ignores that the novel is about the structural abuse #of the mentally ill

[girlcrushau]

#me? about to use tumblr as a diary again? in 2024? unfortunately:/ #but here have a waterfall i saw on a hike last week as payment #i am sO tired and exhausted emotionally after dating #there's this guy that i fr thought was going to last and be around for a long time. we spent like every moment together that we could for 2 #months straight and if we werent physicaly together we were texting or calling or on ft . just every part of our day had the other in it #not once did i ever feel unwanted undesired or uncared for. not once did i feel that i wasnt sure of his intentions. i felt safer with him #in those 2 months than i ever did with any one else i could think to compare to. #until one day he just didnt think it important to communicate any more. after 3 days of nearly nothing .. hardly any talking . i asked if #he was ok if we were ok. what was going on in his head. he said some ive just been with my buddies and family and havent been on my phone #and just. immediately thats heartbreak yanno. thats :// thats what they say when theres a new girl. but there'd never been a reason to think #there was another girl so i was like ok we're gonna trust bc this dude has been So good in every way. so i said imy but i understand. enjoy #your time with your buddies and with your fam -- i cant wait to hear about it (and hold you) #and i havent heard from him in the 3 weeks since. just randomly #so last night #i send the dreaded 'i miss you' text. #i dont expect to hear back and i accept the hurt that will come with that and the confusion that i've felt settles deeper into my heart #until this afternoon i hop on ig and see a hard launch that was posted an hour after my text was sent #that shit kinda hurt different. but also sent me into a bit of a delirious state where all i could do is laugh bc are you for fucking real #did she see my message? i know it. bc i know him and i know that he wouldnt hide anything from the person he's giving his heart #and his softness to. i can almost imagine how he showed her and promised her theres nothing to worry about #and there really isnt anything to worry about because he genuinely is the type to give his all to the relationship he's in #which feels silly to say after what happened w us. like no there wasnt a title ever #it sucks to call it a situationship because a month ago we were laughing in bed together about how we could never bc we were all in. #just the timing of the hard launch makes me giggle. did my text push them to have a conversation about what they are. was she really the #reason that he went away on me. #im trying not to blame myself . trying not to think about the phone calls i didnt answer. about what i could have done differently. trying #not to think about where we would be if i didnt let my anxieties hold me back. if i wasnt scared about what he'd think of the parts of me #that i keep hidden just a little bit longer than the rest. #and at the same time im trying not to put him on a pedestal. but that pedestal is just where i wholeheartedly believe he belongs #he set the bar for me. he set the standard. i was never too much. i was never too little. he made me feel perfect just as i am

[born-to-lose]

Double shift last weekend and this is the only picture I got (which my coworker actually took with me for her Facebook story RIGHT when I looked like shit and it was low effort makeup day because I had to be there early to open the bar)

#a drunk girl in the bathroom called me pretty and two other regulars kissed me on the cheek and called me pet names this is why I'm gay #one of those regulars (who's the bff of my coworker i haven't worked with yet because she's taking a break) asked me to have shots with her #she and the other girl are the sweetest every time i swear they're there almost every weekend and they call me Schatz and Maus #the moment i came back in after putting away my bag and jacket on saturday a middle aged guy mentioned my volbeat hoodie #talked about all the metal bands he's seen like judas priest acdc saxon iron maiden and showed me some new songs he's been into lately #later sang mama i'm coming home to/with me and he and another guy gave me lots of career advice and encouraged me to be bolder in interview #a metalhead dude with long blonde hair and beard (who was also at a concert I worked at last month) winked at me and gave me like €4 tips #and every time he ordered his drinks he put his hand on the back of my head to say it in my ear #because the music from the speakers above was kinda loud but technically not loud enough to do That gjsgfjdshhh 😭😭 #he's so hot too he looks like a kind boyish viking idk if that makes sense but 😫😫 #the amount of people who have flirted with me or acted a little bit 😏 in the last three months #but nothing came of it so far just trusting they'll come back soon when i'm working the shift again #no phone numbers no insta handles we pine like in the old days and smirk when we see each other for the first time in a while #my face #the bartender chronicles

[hopecel]

Uuuh guys? Hadestown really blew up.

#dont know if you noticed #we went from marginally small fandom with 1 post in the tag every 3 days #to thosands of notes on its meta posts lyrics being put in tumblr compilations and references in other media/video essays/etc #and i was here watching it get big almost from the very beginning thats crazy never fails to blow my mind #and im not sure how closely the concept album fans had been following this show's progress #but if you were one of these people i bet it feels even more crazy #idk time to time it just hits me that ht is like BIG big now. huge in fact #damn anais you did it girl #i resent the recent lyric changes but no doubt she created something so fresh and interesting and it actually found its audience #AN IMPOSSIBLE DREAM

[torgawl]

everyone here was soooo excited because a national channel was going to bring back this iconic tv series, directed specifically to the youth, from our childhood and adolescence that we are so nostalgic about after 11 years for them to disappoint us all with the trailer because it looks like elite 2.0

#they ruined morangos com açúcar i dont think you guys understand #this was supposed to be a cliché show with bad acting about students and dramas at school not a fucking disappearing mystery show #with parties and sex and whatnot 😭 #they're making it release in 10 episode seasons like streaming shows too.... that's not morangos!!!!! anfngngnbg #the vibe is so different that it actually makes no sense why they would try to tie it with the other seasons plot and actors shsjshs #yes morangos had your occasional topics of teenage pregnancy and queerness and all that jazz but it was actually explored well #the way they're making girls kiss and parties happening and everything of those sorts in the new season is literally like any of those #spanish teenage shows with too much sex scenes and it's embarrassing actually. #the essence of our national tv is getting lost because they want to do stuff that 'sells' except morangos never sold because it was trendy #or even good because the acting was honestly not great. it was literally our company and part of our routine all year around almost #it was the show we would arrive from school to watch before dinner every day #we watched them experience the school year at the same time we did and on holidays there was a special summer edition #it was a whole thing that this new version isn't. #it was a novela directed for the youth and not whatever show they're trying to make and i'm so mad #i actually wanted to see it. morangos was special to so many of us everybody knows the songs everybody loves the artists that came from #that generation we all grew up watching it.... literally. #and capitalism strikes again 👍 #the auditions were a joke too. they announced auditions for anyone who would like to because another thing about morangos is that it was #a talent factory it gave opportunity to newbie actors and pushed their careers and the new season has a bunch of already renown actors and #actresses and they didn't even care to hide how fake and rigged the public auditons were lol #anyways never building expectations about anything ever again this actually broke my heart man agjshs #i'm gonna mourn this listening to d'zrt 4taste and just girls ✊

[be-good-to-bugs]

2023 / oh to be such a lesbian that your crush turns into a god and changes the laws of the universe itself in order to change your fate. meduka meguka you truly are like no other.

#madoka magica #pmmm #madoka kaname #magical girl #puella magi madoka magica #fanart #orbs art #anyway. these were quick lazy stuff but im very happy with them. trying very hard to change how i draw #i need to be more chill and silly about it. feeling to stiff and bleh about drawing lately. this was v good for me #i had wanted to shade this but itd take so much effort to shade the lineless and the lined its not really worth it #i think it looks good as is and ik id just get bored and then never finish this drawing ever if i tried to shade it #anyway. just rewatched this show and. its so good. it like. changed something in me when i first watched it 6 years ago #and not exaggerating. i have though about this show almost every single day since then. my brain ran with the whole concept #thats good though. its been 1 of 2 main focuses since i was 11. it means a whole lot to me. when i finally learned of and watched rebellion #my little brain was ecstatic. i hadnt felt joy love and inspiration like that in such a long time and i havent since. #idk. its my only main special interest that wasnt tainted by others thinking it was stupid. hell even my mo watched the show and loved it #anyway ill stop talking now uh. its 6am and im rambling. not that i wouldnt do that at 6pm too

[lil-oinks]

my issue with movie peach isn't that she's not feminine because obviously she is, and anyone sensible already knows "she's too feminist" or whatever is dumb. my issue is they made her into every generic cool serious surface-level "strong female character" action girl in a group of all men whose only character trait is "capable" that they've been writing over and over and over for the past ten years. I genuinely feel like they erased any personality she had past her appearance in favor of the single superficial female character type men tend to write when they want to be feminist and "modern." I'm not saying she shouldn't be capable and she shouldn't be cool or fight things because (I love paper mario) those things already are a part of her personality. this point is difficult to make with all of the "they're erasing feminine dainty proper women" takes because that's not what I'm taking about at all. I've seen people say if they wanted a character like this daisy was right there, but I wouldn't switch her character over to this trope either. daisy's LOUD and energetic and fun and the subdued woman whose role is being picking up the men's slack doesn't really fit her either (although I agree the two of them together would balance each other out (and it'd be nice if there were two women and they could interact)). it's exactly what I'd expect from a movie like this so I don't know why I complain, but I wish they would've done her differently. the character mario is about the whimsy but so is peach

#to me at least #no hate to you if you like her I just think they passed up an opportunity for variety. could've fought things And been a little silly #people say 'what personality' but I think she has a pretty equal amount to every other main mario character #and imo the Strong Female Character has less personality and isn't unique either. there's barely any variety between characters like that #people use paper mario etc to say look she's always been like this but the two are different characters. paper peach being better imo #your female character doesn't need to be serious all the time to be taken seriously #/The/ princess peach and they made her interchangeable with almost any marvel movie girl #honestly I think they also just didn't have an existing movie character trope to change her to that was very close to the original #and refused to keep her the same #also benefit of the doubt that she's wearing motorcycle outfit because she's on her way to ride a motorcycle #but when they first showed her in it I thought they wanted to put her in a cooler more heroic outfit than dress but for whatever reason #they couldn't come up with literally any other outfit for that (or they couldn't for nintendo reasons or smthn) #which to me made it read like She didn't have any other outfits for the situation and had to wear her motorcycle outfit like a costume #like I said later they showed the mario kart thing but that just initially made it worse for me dfghjgh #super mario #princess peach #I bet she's not even gonna fly just flip the axe around a bunch in her hands with a lot of swishing sounds

[aroaessidhe]

2023 reads // twitter thread  

Song Of Silver Flame like Night

YA wuxia/xianxia inspired fantasy

a girl in a colonised country with a mysterious seal on her arm left by her mother before she was killed

when a state magician finds her, she escapes with a boy to his school of secret traditional magic practitioners, and discover the secrets her mother left her

powerful demon gods

#Song Of Silver Flame like Night #aroaessidhe 2023 reads #with the caveat that i am clearly not the audience. i kinda hated this lol #for a few very specific reasons #i think there’s interesting concepts & worldbuilding #but i am just so burnt out on girl-and-boy-with-no-friends-and-instant-attraction-travelling-together as the centre of a story yknow #this random girl dies and then after she’s referring to her as her best friend but like….i didn’t get that from their single conversation. #it almost feels like shoved in last minute because of feedback of no other female friendships #when there’s finally another woman it’s the stereotype of a mean girl. and they are just calling each other bitches and whores….like jesus… #she is so one dimensional but also in concept she is 20x cooler than the mc sorry i’m rooting for her now #from the end seems like they’ll be forced to work together and probably become reluctant allies/friends in book 2 or something but like…. #if that was intended from the beginning you have to make the initial hatred make sense in the first place #also boys getting all embarrassed by periods……it’s 2023. come on. it's not cute and endearing. #if ur looking for dragons bc of the cover. there are barely dragons. the one shows up in like the last chapter #also the audiobook narration is one of those where the normal narration is a normal voice but the dialogue is so cartoony? #like the girls have such high pitched voices.the boys have the deeper voice. except for like random side boys who have comical ones. #idk none of them sound like real people #things i did like: the magic i guess. though to be quite honest the colonisers metal based magic seemed more original and interesting asdhgf #i thought there were some interesting elements to the dudes backstory #oh another thing i disliked is theres a side character with a cleft lip and the MC brings it up EVERY TIME like like.....what. #every time she sees him shes like. ppl used to discriminate #against this and call them (a bunch of slurs) and say they're cursed but actually maybe it's just a scar. people used to call them slurs btw #. i am going to bring this up every time i look at them.

[magentagalaxies]

idk why my brain decided folding laundry while listening to rollercoaster by bleachers at 11:26pm was the perfect conditions to finally process the fact that other girls is going to be finished in less than three weeks but im genuinely gonna lay motionless on the floor letting all these feelings wash over me rn????

#i'm just. no one will ever be able to comprehend how much this show truly means to me #even *i* can barely comprehend how much this show means to me #i keep trying to put it into words. the show itself is me trying to put that feeling into words #but it always sounds like hyperbole when i say other girls is the most important thing i have ever done and may ever do #most of my audience is only seeing the final 1% of what this project has been for me #and that's the part people should see bc it's the finished product #but also like. this is the same show i thought was going to genuinely kill me when i was eighteen #i worked on this for three years because every time i got close to completing it something took it away #and i realized it's more empowering to remake it on my own terms than give up on it even when it hurts #this show has seen me through my school almost being shut down. my first major depressive episode (and my whole recovery process!) #and that's not even to mention having to cut off multiple toxic friendships with the very first cast i had in 2020 #when i got into my dream school senior year all i felt was anxious because i thought other girls was never going to happen #and i thought that meant i would never make it as a comedian (don't ask me how that works depression makes you believe weird things) #and in the years since i've found my way at this school and realized my worth as a human being doesn't depend on other girls #and that other girls belongs to me and not the other way around #and i was able to take this source of shame. this perceived failure #and turn it into a production far bigger than i could've imagined back in 2019 #it gave me a chance to connect with a cast and crew full of some of the most incredible people i've ever met #and most importantly i'm able to make the show i wish i could've seen when i was young and alone #other girls is just a love letter to my younger self. like even though i know you can't hear me i just want to tell you you'll be okay #anyway side note i'm gonna get to talk to paul bellini again tomorrow #SPECIFICALLY because he said he wanted to talk to me before other girls is out bc he thinks it's really cool and wants to hear more #and he asked me to send him the video as soon as it's up #so year other girls is honestly the wildest ride i've ever been on. going from crying in my room at 3 a.m. over hating the ending #to chatting about the production in less than 3 weeks with one of my comedy heroes #nothing is ever going to top this

[em-bandaid-boy]

Btw guys. I'm in my guyliner era now

Also I added way too many tags on this post hhhhh sorry girlboss </3

#text #just thought you should know #its almost midnight bro #anyways yeah i bought BLACK eyeliner and i am still kinda figuring out how to use it #my birthdays coming up this is my gift to myself #i dont wear it all the time. just when im feeling extra unhinged #today wouldve been good. i had a monster energy #GIRLL ok so yesterday. this isnt related to anything. but i took my waterbottle and filled it with all the pepsi products available to me #is waterbottle a word. #anyways um it would taste like. um pepsi. but then the aftertaste was every single other product at once #id drink it and then be like yep. this is 12 drinks #i dont think its 12 actually i lied its like 8 or 9 #so basically. yeah um is waterbottle an actual word i feel like it should be #if i go to sleep rn i will get. about 7 hours of sleep for tomorrow </3 #anyways um. nice talking to u even tho im not actually and youre just reading this. unless you saw all of it and didnt wanna read it all #like. yeah i get it #also um yesterday there was like. episode one of the my little pony show based off the new movie and i watched it #i wanted to see what they did with the characters afterwards #its alright ig. for what it was i think they did a good job. nothing groundbreaking but like. im not exactly expecting deep lore from mlp #girl.. one. MILLION... likes and i make a mlp oc. actually i might do it anyway #ill rewatch the movie itself and see if that makes me want to more #girl im sorry i have so many tags #idk how this happened #HHH ok i have to go to sleep um ok bye bye ill see u later <3 #remember when i said its almost midnignt. guess what time it is now oops

[lesbian-space-fish]

.

#girl its great that theres a renewed interest in ql!! really!! its a great show and im glad people are getting into it/getting back into it #but my god some of these yahoos make me yearn for the days when it was just the same five people passing posts back and forth to each other #it was so chill people could disagree but it was in a chill civilized way #now? everyone has to have an opinion on everything and you have to publicly love or hate (no inbetween) every single thing #and jfc if its '''''''''not your quantum leap'''''''''' then just shut up and get the fuck out of the tag #im not afraid to block a bitch so anyone not behaving (aka acting like a grown ass adult) will get blocked this is a threat #sorry for going off its just been so long since ive had to deal with fandom drama #i mean ive seen it in wwd*ts and iw*v (where someone was complaining that they aged up one of the characters bc #'''what's the point of eternal youth if you're not young?''' #girl the character is like 30 now idk how to tell you this but 30 is still young!!! #almost threw hands then and there #but like im not IN in any of those fandoms not the way i am with ql #i hope its not gonna be like this moving forward #almost makes me wish the next couple eps are bad if only to weed out the jokers

[0rionz-belt]

I JUST REMEMBERED WHO HE IS HOLY SHIT HOW DID I FORGET ABOUT HIM??? WE HUNG OUT ALL THE TIME—

#for context: i found one of my vent posts from 3 or so years ago in which i mentioned a bunch of people i used to friends with #There were two names on that list who i could not for the life of me remember anything about. no face or memories or voice or ANYTHING #it actually took a few days or so of brute forcing my brain to even remember what my brain associated their names to their appearances #like i could remember that the girl i forgot had curly hair like mine but that was all. #and today i saw someone who i now can recognize as looking like him #and it just clicked in my brain and i felt a chill wash over me #but it makes the fact that i forgot him like i did so much more concerning #because i had been giving my brain the benefit of the doubt and letting myself think that maybe this was a guy i didnt know for very long. #But now I know that this was a very good friend of mine who I knew for multiple years in elementary and hung out with almost every day. #i can remember his voice and where we talked to each other after school and how tall he was and his most noticeable features. #I have thought about those years if my life countless times within the past few months purely because of all the shit that happened there. #stuff that formed me as a human being. the good the bad and the flat out weird as fuck. #and somehow NONE of those memories of him ever showed up. #its incredibly upsetting to me. i value nostalgia and sentimentality to a high degree. #ive kept old apps on my phone YEARS after ive stopped using them out of fear that all the convos and data will be erased. #and its troubling to me that i still can't remember anything about that other girl except for her name and hair and when i knew her. #its so fucked the human brain is so weird. literally this is why im a psych major. #vent