#but Nueng doesn't want Palm to know that

[kennyomegasweave]

I've seen a lot of posts saying Nueng should have kept the bracelet or asking why he didn't just keep it and I just. He couldn't. He could not keep that bracelet and still leave. He wrote a goodbye note telling Palm he doesn't work for him, he doesn't want him to follow him, he wants him to meet someone and love them and be loved in return, but that can't be him. We know Nueng loves Palm. We know Palm love Nueng. We know they're the children of the sun and they were once glued up back to back. But Nueng thinks all that follows him is heartbreak and loss and that's all he can ever bring Palm, so he is willing to break both their hearts to keep Palm safe. It's misguided because Palm can't just walk away now. Palm knows they once had four legs and four arms. Even if his mom was still alive and his dad wasn't in jail, he can't just walk away from Nueng. But Nueng needs to break Palm so he stays away from him. So he breaks up with him in a letter after his mom dies and leaves in the night. And he leaves the bracelet, he has to leave the bracelet, because if he doesn't Palm might realize how Nueng still believes, even while breaking his heart, that they were once glued up back to back. And if Palm thinks Nueng still believe in their love, he will want to fight for them. Palm is a fighter, he's been fighting his whole life. And Nueng leaves needing Palm to fully believe his words and leave him alone and move on.

The tragedy of this show is we know neither of them will, or even can, move on. But they can't be together. Nueng can't just be a dude working on an island with Palm. Palm can't be Nueng's CEO house husband. They both love each other more than anything. But that doesn't mean it works. That doesn't mean they work. And so Nueng leaves the bracelet. And we all cry.

#never let me go #I have seen a lot of people mad at my boy Nueng but like #he truly believes he's doing the right thing #and like how can you say he isn't at least from his perspective #he has to leave palm all he's ever brought him has been sorrow #his mom is dead his dad is in prison he's not safe himself #nueng needs to leave palm because he loves him that much #he loves him enough to let him go #now palm doesn't want to be let go #and palm is most likely not gonna be like THANKS FOR DUMPING ME IN A LETTER AFTER MY MOM DIED #but Nueng is truly believing that Palm will read his letter with the bracelet and be like welp moving on #because remember Nueng doesn't think anyone would ever like him for him #and he def had to leave the bracelet or it would be a sign to palm that like #I DIDN'T WANT TO DO THIS I LOVE YOU BUT I WANT TO KEEP YOU SAFE #but Nueng doesn't want Palm to know that #because he knows Palm #he knows Palm would be like FUCK MY SAFETY I'M STAYING WITH YOU #so he has to leave the bracelet #he has to leave every trace of Palm's love behind #because he has to reject it so maybe just maybe Palm will believe him #and Palm will stay away from him and move on with some other person and be happy #but this is a show so it won't be happening but like dammit #Nueng isn't the bad guy here okay #and I'm in my feelings #obviously from these tags and this post #about how it seems like all of yall are making him that way #I am chris crocker levels of LEAVE NUENG ALONE LEAVE HIM ALONE lol #regular clyde #if this isn't the most coherent I am very drunk lol

[respectthepetty]

I need to stress something somewhere. And I know you will be able to help or even help be observe but, I have a haunting feeling that in the clips we have of Mork reading to Day, is in the future and….Mork isn’t actually there anymore . … many reasons with the scenes set up but the main things for me is the fish. There is only one in the rank now in that scene. And the book marks in the book. 1 fish bookmark, the other an avocado? And their legs are covered with a blanket. So no 2 slippers of fish is shown……am I creating narrative things that are not there or seeing things wrong? it just feels almost a melancholy scene set up in front of the tank…… and I’m scared!!

What are your thoughts pretty please?!

Anon, I'm choosing violence first, then I'll be kind.

On Spanish TikTok, or as I like to call it Tea Talk, someone stated they saw the book's ending, and it ended with Mork dying and donating his eyes to Day.

The people of Tea Talk ripped that video to shreds. The comments section was not pleased with the mentiras (lies), and Indonesian TikTok even showed up in the fray with the actual book to prove the original poster was "Livin' La Vida Loca."

I don't know how this cookie will crumble, but let me remind you of two things:

#1 - This is GMMTV.

It gave us The Shipper in 2020 at the height of the pandemic, and I think it has been correcting that wrong since.

And it gave us Only Friends in 2023.

I wanted murder and mayhem. Instead it gave everyone happy endings except the slut because apparently he had too many "happy endings" and *morality* or some bullshit.

If you are watching Playboyy, it's what Only Friends could have been if Disney BL hadn't produced it.

I might sound salty (because I am), but I'm really just trying to emphasize that GMMTV wouldn't. Period. Full stop. GMMTV wouldn't give us a sad ending to a branded pair. It will kill a mom quick, but sad times for a branded pair? ¡Nunca! For example, how did we all know Palm x Nueng were gonna be safe and sound in Never Let Me Go? Our Skyy 2. Can't have Our Skyy 3 if it kills a ship now can it?

#2 - This is Aof

The director, producer, and screenwriter extraordinaire shot Pat (Ohm) on Christmas Eve.

He killed Papang!

Hell, he killed Singto before the series even started!

Mork (NOT GAWIN, NO!) got beat up and was hospitalized!

And yet, we got a happy ending each time.

The man wants to make use cry, but he has never ended with queer trauma to do so.

Which is why there are still two fish in that tank.

And I think the avocado is a shout out to Jimmy's love of them (because who doesn't love avocados, am I right?).

So as much as I do not think the reading scenes we keep getting are set in the present,

I don't think they are setting us up for a sad future, especially because Korea already did this trick.

If you watched To My Star 2: Our Untold Stories last year, you know that shit hurt, every, single, episode,

and because it hurt, we were too blinded by the pain to notice the happiness sprinkled throughout.

The happiness we were seeing wasn't flashbacks of their past relationship or even snippets of their current one.

THEY WERE GLIMPSES OF THEIR HAPPY FUTURE!

Korea gave us The Eighth Sense and Strongberry's Choco Milk Shake, both which had the perfect premises to fuck us over, and yet my only complaint was NO POLY!

If Korea can delivery happy endings, Disney BL can too (but not the kind it punished Boston for. Never those kind). It isn't Taiwan, and it certainly isn't Japan who is ALWAYS itching to give maximum pain. This is "soft power" Thailand, GMMTV, Aof, and a branded pair. If GMMTV brought out Gawin to get Krist and Joss back to kiss a homie, I greatly doubt it would tank the JimmySea ship for a sad ending (did you get the pun?). If there is one thing I can count on GMMTV for, it's to secure the bag. Sell merch. Sell novels. Sell a special box edition of the series. Sell the ship. That won't happen if this is sad.

Also, color-coded boys in love get happy endings.

It's science.

#last twilight #last twilight the series #mork x day #this ain't ending sad #GMMTV wouldn't #not even putting on clown makeup #GMMTV wants to collect the coins #and Our Skyy 3 won't make itself

[jojotichakorn]

archer rewatches nlmg: episode 3

🏆 achievement unlocked: threw hands with a teenage boy

nueng is getting better at convincing chanon that what he wants to do (and also just the reasonable thing to do lmao) is the right call

i've got bad news for you, bud

i forgot palm says this JGLKDFJGLKFDJGLKFD up top, my guy, we got his ass!

palm.exe has stopped working. please contact support urgently.

avert your gaze from the kids bonding and having a good time, you daëmon

nueng, when he is being bullied: doesn't bother standing up for himself.

nueng, when palm is being made fun of: i'm gonna call you a dog and then i'm gonna contemplate stabbing you. bitch.

palm is so happy nueng helped him 🥹 look at that smile! i wish he could feel like this forever.

well sorry, bud, but he is gonna tell someone about it and it's gonna be palm and he's gonna be a complete fucking dickhead about it.

i am about to throw hands with a teenager

THAT'S IT, BEN! SQUARE UP, BITCH! I'M GONNA BEAT YOUR ASS!

WHEN I CATCH YOU, BEN, WHEN I CATCH YOU----

palm and maggie are dancing and suddenly nueng is fully ignoring ben. hey there, bud, remind me again, who do you have feelings for?

gonna tell my kids this is skam thailand

palm imagining them dancing instead kind of breaks my heart right now, i'm not gonna lie

*i turn around, huge cartoon hearts where my eyes used to be* huh? did you say something? i was... distracted.

idk about nueng, but ehhh... this would probably make me shoot even worse kgjkdfljgkfldjg

ngl, palm is insane for this. it's episode 3, what do you mean the answer is already clearly nueng???

no, he's not actually. you are though. and you would be perfect if you had better taste in guys.

obsessed with the fact that he has to like literally physically look up at her. as a short king, i can tell you that this man is a short clown, and he is trying to compensate for his height by being a complete fucking asshole.

i know i say this all the time, but i love him 🥺

au where chopper flirts with palm

*screams of suffering and torment*

my boy pulled out the "all i care about is how you feel" (yes, i do have malec quotes tattooed on my subconscious, thanks for asking)

now the real question is whether he was intentionally flirting here or not

#never let me go #archer rewatches nlmg: ep 3 #long post

[recentadultburnout]

The difference between Thai and the English sub pt.1

It's not actually important. It's just something I noticed.

Well, except for that birthday scene. It's important to me. I really don't like it! They make Thanya look so bad for saying that Nueng should understand that he isn't as important to his dad as his work. I already made a post about it, but an extra one won't hurt. Lol

In Thai, what he says is that he understands that work is more important, and that's all.

Otherthings is just some random moment that I notice as being a little different. It is not meaningful in any way, but I am bored, so here it is.

การที่มึงไหว้อะ ไม่ได้ช่วยให้มึงพ้นความผิด-Wai won't help you get free from your guilt

You can read about Wai more here.

He actually used the word "want" here and not "need."

ถ้าหากจะให้พูดกูมึงกับคุณหนูเลย ผมคงทำไม่ได้-If you want me to use Gu-Mueng with you, I wouldn't be able to.

So Nueng says that he is fine with either Neung, Nuengdiao, or even Gu-Mueng pronouns. Just don't use Khun Nhu. And Palm replied that if he used Gu-Mueng with Nueng, his father was going to kill him. So they settle with Khun Nueng.

Since there isn't a rude version of you and me in English, I understand why they cut Gu-Mueng out, but I think it makes this convo look a little off. But I'm not proficient with how a normal English conversation should look yet so idk. (The fact that I live here on Tumblr didn't help with "normal" either.)

You can read about Thai's pronouns more here.

เอาปาล์มมานั่งข้างหลังดีกว่าครับ-bring/take him to the back is better krab.

กวนตีน = intentionally annoying someone or making someone pissed off.

อยู่ด้วยกันจะได้พอดี-Together, we will be balanced/just right.

Here he used the word ดูแล, which wouldn't be wrong to translate as "protect," but I like the more direct one, "take care," better.

The word he used here could mean not simply applying to the basketball club for Palm by normal means but also using his influence to ensure that Palm got in. I don't think a school club would be hard to get into, I am 100% sure that Ben intentionally chose that word to jab at Palm.

Its right after he says he knows Thanya used her influence to put Palm in the same class as Nuengdiao (a class that we know from those bullying words is supposed to be for a student who has some level of Chinese that Palm obviously doesn't have), how can this not be intentional?

Pt.2

Index

#never let me go the series #never let me go #TH&ENsub

[justafriend-ql]

"what is your relationship with him?" (never let me go, ep. 3)

in episode 3, ben innocently (*narrows eyes suspiciously*) asks nuengdiao what his relationship with palm is. but the answer to that question is not so simple. in the last several episodes, palm and nueng have made several attempts to define their relationship, but their tentative answer (friends with a frankly uncomfortable level of sexual tension) conflicts with their assigned roles (master/servant). the tension borne out of this ambiguity is building, and it looks like it will push palm and nueng to a breaking point in episode 4.

let's start with palm. he clearly likes nuengdiao romantically; he day dreams about slow-dancing with him, flirts with him during the few instances he's comfortable (in the pool and at the shooting range), and gets flustered when nueng initiates physical contact with him. but he's getting a lot of conflicting messages: his interactions with chanon, kit, chopper, and ben in this episode all remind him that he is a servant to nuengdiao, and nuengdiao at least *seems* to like ben.

while palm is happy to be nuengdiao's bodyguard ("the one i need to worry about is you"), he chafes at the label of servant. when chopper asks palm if he has to act like nuengdiao's servant at school, palm is visibly upset. later, when palm asks nuengdiao if he told ben that he was his servant, he tries (unsuccessfully) to hide this hurt, saying nuengdiao can call him whatever he wants. his body position, looking up at nuengdiao from below, underscores this (reluctant) acceptance of a subservient status.

in episode 4, the status of "servant" will prove to be intolerable for palm. from the trailer, we know that following the fight at the dance studio palm will have an argument with his father in which he challenges the idea that they need to act so subservient to nuengdiao and his family. he claims chanon is living life like he is a "slave," something palm will no longer accept for himself.

nuengdiao chafes at the master/servant dynamic too, but from the opposite direction. he is jealous of how easily chopper and maggie become close to palm, and repeatedly asks palm to ignore their status difference and the associated formalities. what he doesn't fully realize is the precarious position this puts palm in, who will be punished for violating "proper" conduct with his boss. (see: chanon hitting palm when he challenges him in ep. 4).

lacking complete understanding of palm's circumstances, nuengdiao takes out his anger on palm. in the episode 4 preview, nuengdiao demands to know why palm will dance with maggie but not him. he takes palm's reluctance as a personal affront rather than the painful but carefully considered self-restraint that it is.

if they are to move forward in their relationship, nuengdiao will need to have empathy for the difficulty of palm's situation, and palm will need to have the courage to go against the commands of his father. until then, the ambiguity of their relationship will continue to add fuel to a powder keg - one that's dangerously close to exploding.

#can't wait to see my sons snap next episode! #lmao i'm living for the angst #never let me go #never let me go the series #never let me go meta #nlmg #palmnueng #palm x nuengdiao #palmnuengdiao #nuengpalm #pondphuwin #pond naravit #phuwin tangsakyuen #thai bl #bl series #bl drama #asianlgbtqdramas

[heretherebedork]

Palm and Chopper respond to their crushes realizing new love almost identically: with self-sacrifice and kindness and a tenderness that does nothing to hide how much they love the person even as they support their new relationship. They're both breaking into pieces inside but still hold themselves to kindness when dealing with the person they love.

There's no outburst, no anger, no jealousy sending them into a fit of rage. Just two boys in love trying to support the person they love even as they ache inside.

And then there's Nueng.

Grieving, aching Nueng.

Nueng who accepts Ben's confession and his kiss but can't stop thinking about Palm. Nueng who teases Ben but gets drunk watching Palm talk to his friend. Nueng who demands that Palm dance with him and breaks down when he doesn't. Nueng who handles his own pain by lashing out again and again against the one person he knows can't leave him but he doesn't think loves him the way he wants, needs, to be loved by him.

And we see Ben next episode, Ben with his face crumpled as his father accuses Nueng of planning this, of doing this on purpose, of being the one ruining his son. Ben who hides his own pain and fear behind a smile and Ben who cannot love who wants because he is not free and his love does not matter.

There is so much pain here in so many ways, from the quiet to the lonely to the desperate to the aching and all the pain is there even if the people around them don't realize it's happening.

#never let me go #never let me go the series #nlmg #palm x nueng #nueng x palm #ben x chopper #chopper x ben #nuengdiaopalm #nuengpalm #chopperben #benchopper #palm x nuengdiao #palmnueng #thaibl #gmmtv #thai bl #bl drama #bl series #ql drama #ql series #thai ql #thai drama #thai bl series #thai bl drama

[dragonsareawesome123]

"Are you searching for your other half? Are you going to do everything to find that person? Should I make an announcement for you? Palm is looking for his other half. He doesn't know where his other half is. If you know where his other half is, please come to this beach. Come to meet handsome Palm if you think you are his other half. Or you want to find him and will do everything to make him your life partner." "Mr. Nueng, please stop it."

Never Let Me Go (2022-2023) dir. Jojo Tichakorn Phukhaotong Episode 8

#never let me go #never let me go the series #palmnueng #phuwin tangsakyuen #pond naravit #neverletmegoedit #asianlgbtqdramas #dailylgbtq #asiancentral #romancegifs #usernuria #userpharawee #usertaeminie #vishingwell #mjtag #userjap #userlotad #tonanons #userstream #pondphuwin

[lotus-soup-pot]

My precious cutie pies

An assembly of BL characters and couples who hold a dear place in my heart.

AePete - Love by Chance

The OG: Love by Chance was the first BL I watched, so with no doubt, AePete holds a very special place in my heart. Especially Perth has stolen my heart with his acting - that's part of the reason why Ae is one of my favourite characters and I love almost unconditionally every character Perth plays.

WangXian - The Untamed

My Precious Bunnies: chaotic disaster bi x stoic devoted gay, who doesn't love this combination? At first, I was put off by the immense length of the show, but once I started to watch it I begged for more episodes. The love and trust they have for each other, the way they convey it through eye contact - I'm a goner for WangXian.

AkkAyan - The Eclipse

The School Rebels: The Youtube Algorithm played matchmaker (once again) and introduced me to The Eclipse. I went in without knowing anything about the storyline and First & Khaotung (what a shame) and immediately fell in love with the characters and the dynamic of the relationship. How Ayan respected Akk's boundaries while pursuing him and both being each other's support system.

NuerSyn - Cutie Pie

The Fresh Breath: The innocence of Syn and Nuer's patience with Syn won my heart. Their story is sweet, simple, and pure - just what I needed & wanted. I also love how Syn doesn't shy away from physical contact even though he is religious. Somehow this couple reminds me of the smell of freshly washed bed sheets. (<- does this make sense?)

TinnGun - My School President

My Serotonin Boost: Whenever I watch them I feel so warm and happy. Tinn and Gun are both so precious and adorable while being mature and supportive of each other. Tinn encouraging and helping Gun to achieve his dream of winning Hot Wave and being a Singer, showing him through his love for him that he is more than worthy to be loved. Gun seeing Tinn as the true him, not as the perfect school president, but as a goodhearted sometimes goofy boy. Giving Tinn's future of becoming a doctor meaning. I just love them.

PalmNueng - Never Let Me Go

Locked in Cages: The complexity of the characters, of the relationship, and the surrounding social constructs that cage them and trap them fascinates and captivates me. And I love, love the way Palm looks at Nueng with so loving eyes, the way he devotes his everything to Nueng, the way Nueng does his best to treat Palm like an equal and be on the same ground with him and how they just love each other so much despite and because of the barries and differences.

Will update, whenever I adopt new cutie pies. 💗

#my precious cutie pies #I love them all #they have my heart #aepete #love by chance #wangxian #the untamed #akkayan #the eclipse #nuersyn #cutie pie #tinngun #my school president #palmnueng #never let me go

[lutawolf]

Never Let Me Go D/s breakdowns Ep 4

As of right now, there is no D/s relationship, friendship or otherwise. Is there a D/s element? Yes! Palm is without a doubt submissive. The verdict is still out on Nueng. Is there a power imbalance? Abso-fucking-lutely. But is there a distinct power play line between work and play? That's the question. One that has only gotten murkier rather than clearer, but I'm a determined bitch.

Phum deserved what he got, but Palm really didn't. We're seeing an interesting dynamic here. Nueng wants to go to defend Palm, but Palm stops him. Now, I can hear you guys now. The way Palm is talking to Nueng isn't submissive. Actually... It is. So once again, submissive doesn't equal doormat, and it doesn't mean that they won't speak their mind. It's in the phrasing. It's in the body language. We see confidence but don't domination. This would be the same way my husband would talk to me when he is aware that he has more knowledge on the subject.

The way Palm let his hand glide down to grab Nueng's fingers before letting go! Then that little smile. Oh, my goodness.

Nueng taking Palm as his school partner.

Nueng goes back and forth on how he uses his dominance. Sometimes it really is Dom, but most of the time it's to cover how nervous or unsure he is. It's a like a mask that he slides into place. However, when Palm asked him if the teacher assigned them together, we see the real Nueng come out. That smile. This playful Nueng is really him.

"No. I chose you to be my partner. I chose to work with Pannakorn Jannaloy. Does Mr. Pannakorn have a problem with it? Do you want to change your partner?"

See the Dominance we see, at this moment, where he enters the room and talks about scolding him. That's real.

Gifs stolen from @happy-xy from this gif set here.

There is a lot of D/s in this particular conversation. Let me type it out for you to see.

"Let me put my clothes on." Palm is more asking than he is telling. "This is your room. Do whatever you want." See the permission and dominance in this statement? Then Palm sits on the floor and Nueng looks at him like he is stupid and pulls him up on the bed. "What are you doing? Why are you sitting on the floor? You can sit here. Are you a slave? Get up and sit here. Why are you so afraid of me? That’s it."

OH DAMN!!! See the way Nueng grabbed Palm's jersey. Palm liked that. Woot! Okay then.

And here we go with the foreshadowing again. "Why did you pick the number 13? Did you know that 13 is an unlucky number for Chinese people? 1 + 3 = 4. Number 4 in Mandarin sounds similar to the word ‘dead’." But there is hope because look how Palm responds. "I don’t pay attention to things like luck. No matter what number I wear, I will do my best to win the game. I will overcome any obstacles." Palm doesn't believe in luck, but he believes in fate.

Now we know Chopper is a liar.

Nueng is a very jealous boy. It causes him to go very Dom and Palm loves it. He brats back. Yeah, that's the dynamic he likes.

More fucking foreshadowing. "I found out about Qi Xi Jie. It falls on the 7th day of the 7th Chinese lunar month. It’s the day celebrating the tragic love between the weaver girl and the cowherd. This is their story. The weaver girl who lived in heaven fell in love with the cowherd. They were living together for years. When the wife of the Jade Emperor found out about their relationship, she interfered between them. She drew a river in the sky to separate them. The queen was later moved by their love. They were allowed to meet each other on a bridge formed by magpies. But they can only meet once a year." "It’s a story of impossible love." "I feel sorry for them. They loved each other but couldn’t be together." "But I think it’s romantic. The two of them overcame major obstacles for their love. Even though they could meet only once a year, they were patiently waiting for the day. That must be tormenting. If you were them, would you wait for that day?" Then we get hope, "If I was them, I would wait for it. When I love someone, I can endure everything for that person. Maybe it’s because of the long waiting and their different backgrounds, that makes their love become a legend. The queen might want to test their love."

So I asked one of my darlings about this story and this is what she told me, "Only once a year, but they will always meet on the 7th day of the 7th lunar month. That day is now the Chinese equivalent of Valentine's Day. It represents everlasting love."

I love this next moment so much.

And Palm looking directly at what he wants.

"Just make me proud." This is Dom and the way Palm responds is very subby. Then the way Palm proceeds to work his ass off is very subby. For instance. I told @thequeenofsastiel that I was expecting a fanfic by the end of I Will Knock You. Who wants to lay bets that she's already started an outline?

I don't like Ben. Just saying. Awe! Poor Palm. This next part is very D/s.

"What’s wrong with you? Why are you answering me curtly? You also don’t look at me." "It’s nothing. May I be excused? I need to go help Aunt Nid." I can see why it would be confused with Boss and employee, but you got to put ALL the parts together. "Wait. You need to talk to me first. What’s wrong with you?" "Nothing. I don’t have a right to be mad at you." "Just tell me what’s going on here. Aren’t we friends?" See, even though Nueng will become Dominant, he doesn't associate himself with Dominant and boss. He sees himself as Dominant with a friend. Does he blur this? Absolutely, but so does Palm. Which is why we are all fucking confused. Right now though, Nueng is not boss, he is friend. "If we are friends, we should be able to talk to each other about everything. Why don’t you answer me? If you have something you want to say, just say it. You are easy to read. You cannot hide your feelings from me." This is a very interesting comment. How much truth does it hold? Not much considering the next convo, but we continue to see a D/s element to the conversation. Down to Palm asking to be excused.

And Nueng acts like a shithead in his jealousy. Notice that Palm doesn't mind being submissive to Nueng, but he has an issue with being treated inferior.

Well, this ended up a lot. 🤣🤣🤣 Hope you enjoy 💜💜💜

#never let me go series #never let me go #palm x nuengdiao #palm and nueng #luta talks kink #luta talks never let me go #coconuts mafia

[watchinglikeafangirl]

I think Ben's kiss is very important. If it wouldn't have happened, Nueng probably wouldn't have snapped that extremely. But now he got to feel how it's like to have someone who craves him thus he realizes he craves Palm. The kiss opened his eyes but he knows he has to handle it himself like he always has...he's certainly not good at it.

The struggle was visible the second Nueng set foot into that party and saw Mackie. He talks to Ben and Ben wants to "rush" things whereas Nueng is just very pissed off. My anxiety went up because Nueng was honestly scary. He didn't smile, he talked monotonously, he was very stiff. He looked like someone either ready to kill himself or go to war. I can't describe the feeling but all alarms set off in my mind. Nueng tortures himself and he doesn't know what to do because everyone has a certain idea of him. The pressure and heartbreak and grief are all right there and he feels it. He felt how someone loves him and I think it really cracked him because he's still grieving his father after all. Receiving intense love can remind you of the love you once had in your hands and I think Nueng was just so pressured all the time to not let it show that he would have snapped any time soon. We know he's lonely, he knows it too but nobody else does and it truly nags on him that Palm doesn't look at him the whole party when he knows his secret.

Ben wants the same Nueng wants from Palm, so Nueng feels trapped in his own life. He hurts himself and others and he cannot handle it. He can't keep it together. He is overwhelmed. And because he knows it's all so complicated and because he thinks Palm likes Mackie, he ends up being a total asshole and screams about whatever just to scream at Palm. Just for the sake of it but it doesn't make him feel better. That's the sad realization we can see in his helpless eyes. He screams for help and Palm notices, so he wants to get Nueng out of there but well, Nueng is lost in drunk thoughts and seemingly unreasonable anger when he's just very sad.

Nueng wants to be saved so badly and he was never really mad at Palm. He would rather cry if he could but instead it's anger we and he get. It feels unfair and the world is always unfair. In the end it's Palm's name he calls when he can't breathe.

#never let me go #i got a little carried away #they are all such sad characters

[aprilblossomgirl]

Never Let Me Go Episode 4 (Favorite + Ambivalent + Not so Favorite Scene Edition)

Previous posts on episode 1, episode 2, and episode 3. Now, this episode is about "love," many sides of it, many kinds of it, at first, I thought. But is it actually a little too specifically lean on the "forbidden" territory, or was it the "tragic" one, or the "one-sided" thing? This episode wrecked me yet confused me. I'm so heartbroken for almost everyone here. However, should I say that this episode is a somewhat meta-story of the series (a kind of meta-data, maybe). I feel like there were so too many hints that some of them might come a little too early. Or they're just about in time -- I'm just not ready for more than this to come.

No images here. Companion still sets here and here.

As for my favorite scenes:

Favorite scene #1. The hands lingering

This scene almost makes me not want to move on to the next. The slow motion they do when they let go of their hands off of each other. The way they look down at their linked hands in synchronized movement, and then both very hesitantly let go of the other hand, and then look back at each other again. Damn, those eyes. I just wanna stay right there. On the other side, the preceding scene at the teacher's office just confirmed one thing for me. There was no way Palm would have any say should anything happen to himself while putting his body protecting Nueng. He couldn't say anything when his father came and asked (more like ordered) him to be in charge of protecting Nueng. He couldn't say anything even to himself whenever his instinct takes over and tells him to do everything to defend Nueng. He couldn't say anything to anyone when, subsequently, he gets into trouble for protecting Nueng, yet he could also never say the partially real reason for him doing that. He couldn't say he was there to protect Nueng. He couldn't say he was friends with Nueng either. Only Nueng has the right to tell, and clarify, anything to anyone. But he didn't or couldn't. And that one time he did, he did it a bit vaguely, he allowed a gap for misinterpretation. Now, back again to the teacher's office, it's just a painful scene to me that Palm couldn't stand up for himself while getting reprimanded by Phum's dad. The lingering hands were the only way for Palm to tell Nueng please understand our boundaries, which Nueng clearly didn't understand, yet.

Favorite scene #2. 20 May - Wu Er Ling - Wo Ai Ni

The boys are in their feelings, one knows it for sure, one not really, you know which is who. That's it, that's the whole thing. There's nothing more heartwarming than seeing both Nueng's and Chopper's little smiles over the teacher's explanation about the date. Chopper's soft gaze down, and Nueng's quick glance back into the direction of Palm's desk. The boys are in their feelings. The talk about love, and confession, might nudge something inside them. Something they secretly want, something they are not aware of its power, yet, to either light them up or burn them down.  

Favorite scene #3. About #13 and #4

Shall we forget a bit about the explicit mention of “unlucky” and “dead”, this conversation literally shows the stark difference between Nueng and Palm on their view of life, and perhaps their social status and privileges. In a way, Nueng implies a belief in luck and its symbolism, while Palm doesn't, or is in no position to, think too much about things like luck. Nueng has everything from his family, while Palm needs to work hard to get something. Dealing with obstacles comes naturally to Palm. However, some things left me wondering throughout this scene: Why is it necessary for Nueng to grab Palm's jersey from the back just like that to the point Palm got startled? And when Nueng gets too comfortable to lay down on Palm's bed, something just tickled me in a very weird way. Invasion of Palm's personal space, I would say, initially, but back to that first scene: Nueng doesn't get the boundaries between Palm and himself.

Favorite scene #4. Nueng and Palm talk about Qi Xi Jie

Tragic love. Impossible love. Classic story. They really spell the words we should brace ourselves to get into. Parallel with the scene where they talked about luck and numerical symbolism, here also implied their rather different perspective on the story. Palm feels bad about the weaver girl and the cowherd not being able to be together despite loving each other, as he called it a tragic love. Meanwhile, Nueng views it as romantic in that he thought they overcame the major obstacle for their love. Although later he acknowledges it must be tormenting for them to meet only once a year and need to patiently wait for the day. When Nueng asks Palm if he would wait for a year like the couple, Palm implies that he would endure everything for the one he loves. But his last statement about the story, "Maybe it's because of the long waiting and their different backgrounds, that makes their love become a legend. The queen might want to test their love," with those long stares, feels like an explanatory to the tragic love he mentioned earlier. The long waiting. Different background. Add those to the list of keywords when extra pain is needed later. Oh, also, the queen who might test their love.

Before getting into the not-so-favorite scenes, there are some other scenes that I couldn't decide how to feel (ambivalent) about them:

Ambivalent scene #1. Nueng and Chopper shooting training

I was so happy whenever I saw Chopper and Nueng's casual interactions. I truly wish they were really cut off from their parent's feud. But some instances made me doubt such a delicate wish. Both clearly know what their respective parents expect of them, to take over the family business one day. The difference is that while Khit made it clear to Chopper that he's expected to compete with Nueng, Nueng might not be aware of the competition between Thanya and Khit. Or perhaps he's aware of it, but only to a certain degree. Was he partially clueless or was he just still naive, there's still so much more to see. But to be honest, the conversation he had with Chopper just suggests the latter. In this case, Chopper might not be so innocent about the issue. They jokingly tease each other about taking over the family business. At this point, somehow, I think Nueng was always serious about not wanting the position as his father's successor, and most likely to give it up if there was a way of doing so. At this point. That doesn't mean that won't change at all in the future. And Chopper also said that he wanted to build something on his own. But we don't know yet just how much power his father, and Ben, have on him. I still believe Chopper doesn't want to take over the business in place of Khit, but I have this strong feeling he will have no doubt to use that as a tool to get back at Nueng should something happens with Ben in his relation to Nueng. They're walking on a really thin thread, I'm afraid, if that last look on Chopper's eyes when he gets back to shooting the target while Nueng taking the phone call outside didn't tell me something.

Ambivalent scene #2. Palm and Maggie talk after the basketball training

Simultaneously happens right after Nueng and Chopper's scene at the shooting range, Palm and Maggie also talk about the future. Similar to both Nueng and Chopper, Maggie is also expected to take over one of her father's businesses one day, yet she doesn't want to do that and wants to live her own life instead. "Palm, what about you? What do you want to do?" I can see Palm's discomfort when confronted with the questions because he's in no position to even think about that. But he can only say as far as that he didn't have a plan so he's just going to live his life the current way. Back when he was still in the village, he said that he sees no future there. Now, his answers to Maggie in a way also still reflect that. It may be a real no-future-to-see thing, but it can also be a shield he uses to protect an innermost dream he might always have and take it anywhere with him.

Finally, the not-so-favorite scenes:

Not so favorite scene #1. Chopper and Ben talk

Oh no. I don't feel good about all that, "If you like him, you should tell him." No, no, show, you don't do Chopper like that. "One more thing. Who wouldn't like you?" If Chopper was meant to convey a little of his feelings to Ben, I hope Ben catches it well. Also, I hope Chopper was aware that, "What do you have to lose? At least, you get to tell him how you feel. You never know if you will get that chance again. Being rejected can only hurt you once." applies to him as well.

Not so favorite scene #2. Nueng and Ben talk and kiss

No words beyond why would you kiss him, Nueng? *frustrated cries* *throw hands, throw bottles* Okay, two things that come to mind about this scene are the simultaneous preceding scenes: Palm working on completing their assignment and Nueng practicing the song he made on the piano. "Love. Social class. Separation." Another explicitly spelled words to explain the tragic love story both Nueng and Palm are working on, and by extension, the (love) story between them. I wonder what's on Palm's mind when choosing those words, finding their meaning, and writing them down. Or perhaps he didn't think much about the words? I don't think so. And then we have Nueng's song, about a lonely man's love who thinks he doesn't deserve to love someone or receive love from anyone. And Nueng subtly admitted it was about himself, and that to some extent, was it not about all the four boys. Because if anything, loneliness and not deserving of love are two hard terms that might push them to put the barrier between themselves and the people they love. Fortunately for Ben, he has Chopper to help him tear down the said barrier. But at what cost? All this makes the scene where Palm found out about the kissing more painful. It's more than jealousy. It's more than a concern for Nueng's safety. It's also as if the kiss was a finality, a confirmation, of their distance. For all the things Palm did to establish boundaries between them, but that Nueng continued to break, the kiss serves as a reality check to Palm that the boundaries are always there. Also, a realization that it was Nueng, and his confusion, perhaps, who had been playing on it, breaking it, invading his personal space, unknowingly, hopefully. Regardless, all this makes watching Palm's shocked expression all the way more hurtful.

Not so favorite scene #3. (By all means, the most unfavorite of this episode) The dance club scene

Everything about it. But more specifically, the way they write Nueng for this particular part. Before why Nueng would say all that to Palm, it's more of why Nueng would let himself drink that much to the point of getting that drunk almost as if he loses control of himself. I don't know, it's just so unlike Nueng, to me. But also, to be fair, it's as if the words Nueng said to Ben when Ben confessed his feelings repeated themselves and hit hard this time, "Are you sure you know me well enough?" Did they already show all of Nueng's characters to us? But then, right at the end, Nueng was shown as if to mirror Palm's pain but for a totally different reason. As if, at the moment, they were halves of the other. Shit, if that's not an agonizing way to end the episode. There is still so much to feel about this particular episode, but the prospect of having a possible imbalance of character exploration here kinda struck me.

#never let me go #never let me go the series #never let me go ep4 #nuengpalm #benchopper #maggie #*🎬 #*📝 #long post #(too) long post #nlmg 🧡 #this took me two days 🥲 #guess next time i should break the post down into several posts but that would tempt me to not finish them at all maybe

[bengiyo]

Never Let Me Go Ep 5 Stray Thoughts

Last time all hell broke loose with no adults around. Nuengdiao spent much of the episode yearning, and flirting with Palm. Despite that, he entertained Ben's advances and shared a kiss with him. Meanwhile, both Chopper and Palm sustained severe heartache over this notp. Maggie continues to do nothing wrong. We left off with Nuengdiao struggling to breathe and Palm getting his ass handed to him.

Well at least Nuengdiao doesn't look worse for wear, so I guess Palm did his job?

Palm is literally beat to shit and getting chewed out? WTF he slapped Palm???

Noticable that Nuengdiao doesn't flinch at all when Palm gets slapped.

At least we're finally getting some context for Chanon's devotion. Curious how Mr. Pop saved Palm's life.

Will at least give Chanon credit for asking about Palm's arm, even if I'm still disconcerted.

Ah, this episode is called "Mother." We know Palm's mom left, Ben has only mentioned his dad, and Chopper's mom also doesn't seem to be around.

Interesting that, despite his retreat from Nuengdiao, Palm continues to use "Mr. Nueng" as his address. Also, loving Pond's choice to keep giving "fuck me" eyes any time Nuengdiao gets too close.

Ben, don't run in to spoil the moment.

Okay, Pond, I felt that restrained glare. That was good.

Oh, we rarely get this kind of classic framing from Thai BL. Nuengdiao and Ben are in the foreground having their moment, but Palm is out of focus in the background yet clearly placed between them. Excellent choice, Jojo, and good job hitting your marks to the cast.

Everyone is doing a great job with their face acting in this scene. Props to the editors not overdoing it.

Even if I'm not on Ben's team, I totally get his frustration at this being turned into a non-date and being chaperoned.

Maggie is doing our beauty product placement? Good for her!

Palm is fucking up this Swiss roll.

Maggie continues to do absolutely nothing wrong. She is so correct that Palm needs to value himself more and not make excuses for Nuengdiao's bad behavior. Being his bodyguard shouldn't include that.

What an aggressive sound cue. We definitely fighting about these shoes.

"You said that I should know my place." Jot that down, Nuengdiao.

"May I be excused?" and immediately walking away? Loving this version of Palm.

The production values on this bullying getting higher is not what I signed up for.

Homophobia? How trite.

Glad Nuengdiao isn't ashamed of himself. He does need to apologize for his rude behavior last episode, but he doesn't need to apologize for responding to Ben's advances. He's also correct that he is a victim of a bullying campaign.

Hey, so Chimon and Phuwin are pretty good. Ben, clearly upset, looks to Nuengdiao first before responding. Nueng gives him a small nod of encouragement, and only then does Ben lie for his father. Curious to see if Ben misread that signal.

Oh, hm. Chopper got here awfully quick. Don't make me suspect you, baby boy.

Ah, yes, let's return to this rooftop and reassess our fractured relationship.

Phuwin is so good at playing up overwhelming feelings. Nuengdiao visibly trembling with pent up frustration is such a nice touch.

So Ben clearly misread the signal, but this was a great emotional breakdown.

I like the way the music is used in this sit down on the roof. I like that they paused it when Nuengdiao dismissed the idea that he loved Ben.

The era of the episode 5 kiss continues, again with consent. Love this for us.

Of course Nuengdiao wants to cuddle after making out. He's so lonely. Again, good job Pond and Phuwin. I like the choice to lean into each other but to keep their arms still for this first kiss.

Again with the audio cues. I audibly laughed when we cut from the cheesy afterglow of their first kiss joking to a sharp sound with Tanya sitting on a couch.

I am sobbing and vibrating out of my skin because of Tanya. Preventing Nuengdiao from forcing himself out and making him sit down for dinner to reveal that she's always known he hates vegetables, and only eats them to please her, as a gentle way of easing into the conversation is so powerful. Then again stopping him from saying anything and letting him know that she will wait for him to be ready. Finally, assuring Nuengdiao that the only disappointment she feels is in herself for not being emotionally available to her son when she learns that he was clearly struggling. The era of great GMMTV parents of queer kids continues. Fantastic scene. Organ and Phuwin, applause for you.

Chanon may not know his son personally very well, but he knows what romantic glee looks like on a teenage boy.

You see that smile on Tanya's face and that determination on Nueng's? That's what it looks like when a queer kid is loved and supported at home. Shame is not taught in schools; it's taught in the home. A kid can face so much if they know their families and loved ones have their backs.

Was that Ben's dad dead on the ground?

Damn, has Nuengdiao watched both of his parents be gunned down now? FFS, I should have called the death flags on Tanya being a good parent.

Next week, we meet Palm's mom and get a beach episode.

#never let me go #thai bl #bl series #Ben watches

[respectthepetty]

Hey. First, just wanna say that, just like you, I'm living for Dangerous Romance. With so many shows on the weekend, this is the one I look forward to the most. If I had the time I think I would gif the whole episode, cause their faces are giving me everything I need.

Anyway. I came here because I just wanted to talk about Kang. That boy is just so touch starved. And also starved for everything else. But that's a whole other story. His reaction both times that he was hugged by Sailom was of someone who doesn't know how to deal with that. Specially in the pool, his face, it's like it's the first time someone hugged him like that. He seems uncomfortable both times he gets hugged by him, not because he doesn't like it, but more because he's unfamiliar with the gesture. At least that is my read. What do you think? (thanks for the space)

@nothingsbetterthancoffee, I've been looking forward to 1) seeing Joke and Jeng cry all week in Hidden Agenda

2) getting to know why Top and Sand are the Taylor Swift and Katy Perry in Only Friends aka "Bad Blood"

and 3) Laws of Attraction healing what it broke so beautifully last week.

But above all else, I needed to know how A Sugar Daddy & His Baby The Series would handle Kanghan's shift from wanting to see Sailom beg at his feet by any means necessary to actually getting Sailom to beg at his feet and having no idea what to do with all those feelings™.

So I'm thrilled the show leaned into this starting with Kanghan yelling up at Sailom like every lovesick prince calling out to his lover.

Then we moved into Kanghan's facial journey going from smiling to contemplative as his friend explained "love tutoring."

Which caused Kanghan to awkwardly stare at Sailom while Sailom was focused on his work before he collected himself and approached his crush tutor.

Because as much as I'm with everyone else that Kanghan seeing the reality of Sailom's life snapped him out of his bullshit, I think the real kicker was all the feelings™ it brought up in Kanghan, and we see it happening here.

When in danger, Kanghan knows what to do - protect Sailom.

He threatens the gang members, he punches the tourist, and he grabs Sailom, with minimal hesitation if any.

Kanghan is an aggressive kid, so, in a sense, he knows how to deal with a threat because he has always been the threat.

But he has never known how to handle Sailom's responses because Sailom isn't a threat, or at least that's not what his head tells him.

The thing that most people are discussing is why Kanghan is so fearful of his father. Kanghan's grandma shows him affection. It seems like Kanghan's dad loves him and isn't abusive, so why the ominous music when the father is around? Why did Kanghan's entire demeanor change when his father walked in, both times.

And why was he so anxious? Why the father's response?

I, surprisingly, don't have any wild ass theories, but the show is telling us to watch the boys' hands, especially Kanghan's, because that is where the truth lies.

Strangely, Kanghan and Sailom have the same dynamic that Never Let Me Go's Palm and Nueng had, but for the opposite person. Nueng was the brain and rich. Palm was the body and poor. Here, we have Sailom who is the brain and poor, and Kanghan who is the body and rich, so Kanghan would struggle with English, while Sailom would thrive. It's words. But Kanghan knows what to do with his body.

Even the way he pushed Sailom in attempt to protect him was aggressive.

So what can he do with his body when it isn't needed to protect? What does he do with his body when he isn't the threat? What does he do with his body when it's Sailom holding him?

We saw this in the first episode. Kanghan doesn't know what to do.

I don't think he's touch-starved, but I do agree that it's unfamiliar. All roads lead to GayVille to me, so Kanghan's reactions seem more about feelings™ than anything else. Kanghan knows love. He knows touch. But when it comes to Sailom, he doesn't know how to respond because he doesn't know *this* feeling.

He is not a boy of words. He is not a brain.

He is a body that takes up space, even in his own house.

So these feelings™ that surface whenever Sailom is around are unfamiliar. When Sailom wouldn't acknowledge him, it pissed Kanghan off more. He needed Sailom to look at him because to Sailom, Kanghan isn't just a body taking up space.

To Sailom, Kanghan is a safe space.

And being someone else's safety instead of a threat, being a wanted space instead of useless space, being a body needed for comfort rather than protection . . .

That must be terrifying.

Mostly because he doesn't even know he wants it.

#dangerous romance #long post #sailom x kanghan #I'm in my feels #and so is Kanghan

[jojotichakorn]

archer rewatches nlmg: episode 5

🏆 achievement unlocked: wish you could kill a parent (2x)

🚫 error: achievement detected for almost every other media watched

‼️🏆 rare achievement unlocked: praise a parent

your CHILD was ATTACKED, is BRUISED, BEATEN, and HAS A BROKEN ARM, and THIS is what you ask? i'm gonna kill this man. i'm gonna fucking kill him.

YESSS GO OFF BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!

btw idk if we've ever talked about this, but chanon is a very classic case of "i'm taking out my hatred for my ex spouse on my child"

he's asking it like it's an afterthought, like it's some annoying obligation. literally please jump off a roof.

buddy, could you locate the words "i'm sorry" in your surely extensive vocabulary?

oh! go fuck yourself, ben :)

i hope to gods this is a new personal signature, nueng

their evil rich people horse riding vs my pure good cultural horse riding

i love her 🥹

my boy is not pulling any punches this episode and i for one think it's iconic!!

DEEPLY unprofessional to invite one student without their guardian, while the other has one present. do you not fucking see the clear issue that will arise there?

your dad died so now you're a homosexual. famously, that is how people become gay. if your father is alive but you are gay, please contact your mother and discuss the possibility of her cheating urgently.

go OFF, babyboy!!!!

SHE knows that? why the fuck would the principle know your son's sexuality, you fucking weirdo?

now this is just a bad argument. we all know the likelihood of a class or dare i say school president being gay is extremely high.

palm is truly the sweetest boy on earth

yay! everyone cheered!

they were insane for this btw. both of them but especially palm.

this is when we should have known there is no turning back for this boy. he's down bad.

not gonna lie, this conversation is almost a masterclass on how to do this correctly. she explicitly says that her child's happiness is more important than the family business and reputation. all she wants from him is to live a life that will make him happy, even if it doesn't fit with what she imagined his life would be like. she does something, which many parents fail at, which is telling him that he is an adult who now makes his own decisions and whose first thought shouldn't be what his mother wants, that he needs to centre what he wants in his life. she says that she is ok with anything and anyone he likes and that she is proud of him no matter what. really, my only minor complaint is her saying that she is disappointed in herself because he didn't feel like he could tell her, because it briefly centres the conversation around her, but even there i'm already being nitpicky, just because everything else is so 🤌 11/10.

trust me, it's going to be very easy to multitask dating and taking care of nueng in his case

the brief but constant shots of their hands. jojo knows his audience.

#never let me go #archer rewatches nlmg: ep 5 #long post

[kattahj]

"Why are you pointing your gun at my son? Put it down!"

This line has been bouncing around my brain for weeks, because of what it says about Kit's and Chopper's relationship, and how that in turn informs Chopper's character arc.

Kit's just been shot by Chopper. He probably doesn't think his son would go so far as to kill him, but he didn't believe he would be shot by him either, and that just happened. But in that moment, his immediate reaction is to yell at his henchmen to stand down.

Because out of the two possible risks here – he dies, or he has to see his son die – he vastly prefers the former.

Compare and contrast the similar scene between Shin and Thana in 3 Will Be Free. Thana cares for his son, may even love him, but when Shin betrays his father, Thana doesn't hesitate to throw him in with Neo and Miw to be killed.

Kit, on the other hand, only points a gun at Chopper for a second before turning it towards Nueng (who is unarmed, cradling Palm, not a threat at this moment). He is certainly angry with Chopper. He wants to punish Chopper, for stepping out of line, for being disobedient enough to choose those two over him. But he doesn't ever want Chopper to die.

And Chopper doesn't want Kit to die. (In this, he is of course entirely similar to Shin, who also cries over his asshole father, except Chopper gets his wish. Kit survives.)

In a show full of daddy issues, Chopper is closer to his father than any of the other characters. Nueng's dad was distant, Palm's harsh, Ben's homophobic. Chopper is used to being by his dad's side, the apple of his eye. Used to being told that everything Kit does, he does for him. And no, Kit doesn't listen when Chopper protests that he doesn't want it, but what BL father ever properly listened to his son?

I don't know if Kit was the kind of dad to give piggyback rides and come to school concerts, but it wouldn't surprise me.

And that's half of the reason it takes Chopper so long to stand up against his father. Resisting abuse is hard, but resisting love is hard in a different way. To look at someone who has cared for you, who you have cared for, and sever that bond in a way that hurts both emotionally and physically. To have to make that sacrifice to save not only yourself, but others, because the person who was so kind to you was a monster to others, and in order to keep their love you have to become someone else entirely.

It is, in its heightened, soap opera way, a quintessentially queer experience.

The other reason it's so hard for Chopper to take a stand is that he is by far the most empathetic person on the show. He feels for everyone. His father, yes, and his beloved cousin, but he also feels for Ben even as Ben is pursuing Nueng. He feels for Palm when he senses Palm's awkwardness in his new employment. He feels for the guy who gets his finger cut off as punishment by Kit.

And what does he do in the finger-cutting scene?

He turns away.

Empathy isn't always positive. Empathic distress is a term used when someone is so overwhelmed by other people's emotions that it starts to hurt them, and that's a common cause of burnout and can be a hindrance to actual help and compassion. You don't want a surgeon who starts crying in the operating room.

Chopper wants everyone to get along. He wants everyone to be like him, and not hurt anyone. But not everyone is like him, and someone is going to get hurt. The longer he waits to act, the worse the situation gets. Chopper has been trained to shoot, but it's not until the end that he can steel his heart enough to do it – and even then, just until his father is arrested. Then he's swept up by his emotions again, taking on all the guilt that Kit ought to be feeling.*

"You are nothing like me," Kit admits at the end. He spits it out in anger and disgust, a curse – but in a way also a blessing. At last, he truly sees his son, and through that, Chopper is finally set free.

*A couple of thoughts from Scandinavian children's fantasy: I've been thinking about the Shamer Chronicles, Drakan who does so much evil and feels no shame vs. Rosa who does no evil and feels so much shame. Also, the argument from The Brothers Lionheart about how Jonatan can't kill anyone and Orvar says, "If everybody was like you, evil would get to rule forever!" and Skorpan counters by saying that if everybody was like Jonatan there would be no evil. But I'm not entirely sure where I'm going with either of those thoughts, so that's why they're stuck in the footnote. :-)

#never let me go #never let me go the series #chopper nlmg #kit nlmg #suphakit nlmg

[justafriend-ql]

how we fall apart - palm and nueng's relationship with rage, repression, and responding to trauma

throughout never let me go, palm and nueng contend with extreme instances of emotional distress that push them to their breaking points again and again. what's interesting is that palm and nueng experience and respond to this emotional distress in completely opposite ways - nueng becomes big (reckless, loud, violent) whereas palm becomes small (contained, quiet, empty). there are three main aims of this post: 1) to compare and contrast palm and nueng's responses to emotional distress, 2) to point out how this relates to their respective upbringings and personalities, and 3) illustrate how they way they respond to traumatic events changes as a result of their presence in each other's lives.

nuengdiao: turbulence, entitlement, and outrage

nuengdiao appears to have a handle on his emotions from an outsider's perspective, tending to put on a facade of apathy and arrogance in order to protect himself from others, yet he is actually quite sensitive and emotionally turbulent. tanya gives us this insight when she asks palm to protect nueng both physically and emotionally in episode 2, saying he is "too sensitive" and "soft-hearted."

in part because nueng is so sensitive, when he is hurt, he reacts in a big way - he becomes loud, violent, and reckless. his emotional volatility is like a loaded gun; he usually exercises restraint, but if you set him off, on accident or otherwise, there's going to be blood. some of phuwin's best performances come right as the "madness" takes over and nueng lashes out (e.g., when he punches phum, when he desperately yells at palm to dance with him at the party, when he rages in palm's arms on the rooftop following ben's betrayal of him). you can see the hysteria come into his eyes and entirely replace the refined, aloof boy from moments before.

in these moments, nueng makes himself bigger - by throwing a punch, by screaming, by pushing palm away. he gets loud and takes up space, perhaps because as a child living in a mansion staffed with servants, he knew that if he didn't get what he wanted, he would as long as he threw a fuss and got someone's attention. there's certainly an aspect of entitlement to his breakdowns early on. in episode 3, he feels that he is owed respect from phum and is angry when he ignores nueng's commands to stop talking badly about his father. in episode 4, he's upset that he can't have the one thing he wants (palm) and clumsily resorts to his position of power in an attempt to make palm his (demanding that he dance with him, since he is a servant of nueng's family). in episode 5, he feels blindsided by ben's betrayal, believing that ben should have honored the trust he placed in him ("i opened up to him. why did i get this in return?").

while we can debate whether these feelings of entitlement are justified or not in each case, the common thread i want to point out is that nueng's breakdowns are all quite centered on himself. they happen when something is taken away from him, something he wants (respect, affection, trust). as a kid who never had to want for anything, who had the world at his fingertips, this is a new and uncomfortable experience. Denial and rejection are large, scary feelings he doesn't know what to do with. so he blows up, usually disregarding the perspectives of the others involved (e.g., the struggles of phum's family, the lack of freedom palm has when it comes to expressing his true desires, the consequences ben will face if he tells his father the truth).

2. palm: stability, resignation, and repression

while nueng expresses his feelings loudly and violently, palm pushes his feelings down and stays quiet. every time nueng rages at him, he's even-keeled and steady, there to hold onto nueng until he's exhausted his anger and slumps into palm's arms. palm absorbs all of nueng's emotions and carries them inside, along with his own buried desires and pain. unlike nueng, palm had a childhood of little love and luxury. he didn't grow up screaming and thrashing when things didn't go his way because there was no one around to listen or care. instead, he learned to resign himself to unhappiness and plow ahead nonetheless.

again and again early on in the series, palm devalues his own feelings. he's hurt when he sees ben and nueng kiss, but he masks his pain with a neutral expression, telling nueng he "doesn't have a right to be mad at him." he should be upset when nueng calls him his servant and running dog in front of the other partygoers, but when maggie asks "how his heart is," he insists that he's fine and that he actually feels sorry for nueng instead, since he must be embarrassed about the scene he caused. palm repeatedly represses his own feelings and prioritizes those of the people around him instead. this is the opposite of how nueng handles emotional distress and exactly why palm is so well-suited to offer nueng support; nueng has a lot of negative feelings, and palm devalues his own emotions enough to have the space to manage nueng's. obviously this isn't healthy in the long-run, but their dynamic evolves over time as they each grow through the experiences they share together (see part three: learning from each other).

you don't see palm break until his mother's death in episode 9, after which he appears numb, empty, and unresponsive. he indulges in a brief nueng-like episode of screaming on the rocks, but as soon as he accidentally hurts nueng in doing so, he's back into repression mode. he turns to alcohol to cope with his pain - a habit undoubtedly learned from his father, who became an alcoholic when mam left. when nueng asks, he says he's okay, only to cry silently in the bathtub once he's alone. this scene, and the following dance sequence in which he wordlessly seeks comfort from nueng, is some of my favorite acting from pond in the series.

3. learning from each other

now that we've established how nueng and palm dealt with emotional distress and trauma at the beginning of the series, let's talk about how their approaches change as a result of having one another in their lives. to put it simply, nueng starts orienting himself more toward the feelings of others, while palm starts valuing and expressing his own feelings more. they each adopt some of the other's approach into their own way of being.

nueng's breakdowns shift more in content than they do in character. at his core, he is always going to be a sensitive, impulsive person, and he teeters dangerously on the edge of mental collapse as things escalate toward the end of the series. but what changes is that his own well-being is no longer what's driving him to break down - it's his concern for palm that sends him over the edge. we see this shift first in episode 9 when he breaks down on the rocks, yelling that palm and his relationship is impossible and that palm will be killed if he continues to stay with nueng. we see it again in episode 11 when he points palm's gun to his own head, rashly ordering palm to kill him so that he can save his father's life instead. we see his hysteria appear once more in episode 12 when uncle kit tortures palm in order to coerce nueng to sign over his rights to the hotel business.

in parallel, palm becomes empowered by nueng persistently encouraging him to act on and express his true feelings and stops keeping all of his feelings to himself. when they reunite at the end of episode 10, palm is able to express his anger at nueng's decision ("is this how you treat people? the time that we shared together. the things that we did together. do they mean nothing to you?"), claim nueng for himself ("i won't let you run away from me again), ask for comfort ("i want to hold you just like when we were living on the island"), and admit that he isn't okay about his mom's death ("no, i'm not. i still miss her"). given that he's spent the entire series dismissing his own feelings, all of this is huge.

we see a continuation of this development in our skyy 2, with palm advocating for himself and actively voicing his anger at nueng not initially consulting him about his plans to study in the u.s. i have more to say about this at a later date, but for now, the point is that palm is recognizing that he's allowed to want things. he doesn't have to "settle" or minimize his emotions in order to get by, because now he sees that his feelings are important and nueng is there to validate and support him.

it's not like nueng and palm are somehow 100% in control of their emotions or manage their feelings in a completely healthy way by the end of the series. that wouldn't be realistic - can anyone claim to have achieved this? i'm less interested in making a claim about palm and nueng "fixing each other" and more interested in looking at the moments when they "break" as a lens through which we can better understand their characters, their development over the course of the series, and the trajectory they're on at it's conclusion.

#never let me go #never let me go the series #nlmg #palmnueng #nuengpalm #never let me go meta #tw guns #hello i hope you enjoy this completely self-indulgent character study :)