#bruce is freaking the fuck out

[nerdpoe]

Tim lies, probably for the last time.

He's on his way to a date with Bernard, arguing with Jason about what restaurant is the best for the kind of vibe he wants, when a group of men in white suits pull up in vans and have him cornered.

They point what looks like a Geiger counter at him, and it lights up, shrieking.

"Are you Jason Todd?" One of them asks, leveling some sort of gun at Tim.

Tim, fully aware of Barbara's eyes through CCTV and the actual Jason Todd yelling at him on his phone, hangs up the phone and fully faces the man in white.

"Yes."

There's the click of a trigger being pulled, and then the world goes dark.

On the other side of Gotham, Jason launches himself from the couch the second the line goes dead, throwing on his gear and pushing the panic button he swore he'd never have a need for.

His idiot little brother did a sacrifice play, he doesn't know to who, and he has to go get the twerp before he gets seriously hurt.

Or: Tim, to ensure he would be able to do his mission after losing his spleen without succumbing to an infection, was given a shot of Lazarus Water without him knowing it. This means that when the Guys in White go to hunt down Jason Todd, who they are convinced is a ghost and therefore the only being in Gotham that can set off their Spook-o-meter, and Tim sets it off? They think they've got their ghost. Tim lies and says he's Jason, because he isn't sure what these people want, but if they're prepared for Jason then they aren't prepared for him.

#dpxdc #dcxdp #dp x dc #dc x dp #phanfic #story prompt #once upon a time in an effort of reconcilliation #bruce gave jason a panic button #jason told him to go fuck himself #now bruce is staring at the alert that says it's been pushed #internally freaking the fuck out

[robintherobiner]

need more de-aging fics.

specifically i need everyone finding out Dick was an angry murder baby or realising just how obsessed with Dick Tim was.

#batfam: awww i bet dicks going to be so cute and sweet! #baby dick: BRUCE. WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN ZUCCO IS STILL ALIVE. #batfam: okay we have to be careful not to freak tim out cuz he has no idea who we are #baby tim: omg Dick Grayson. i have framed pictures of you on my dresser. i dont care how i got here i just want a hug oh my gosh!!! #do you see my vision #dc comics #dc universe #batman comics #batfamily #batfam #tim drake #dick grayson #de aging

[ideas-ideasideasideas]

JayTim omegaverse AU where Tim presents as an omega when he’s stalking Batman and Jason-as-Robin. Jason finds him collapsed on a rooftop and tries to help him but the proximity triggers his own presentation as an alpha. From there things go to hell in a hand basket and they ride out their first heat/rut together. In the immediate aftermath, once they have both recovered enough presence of mind, they agree that this is no one’s fault but it doesn’t stop Jason from feeling guilty about taking advantage of Tim so he escorts Tim home (in the process finding out they’re neighbours) and asks if there’s anything that he can do for him to make up for whatever the hell just happened.

There’s a lot of trauma to unpack here for the both of them but Tim is barely a teenager and Jason has emotionally repressed Batman for a parental figure so they just mutually decide not to mention it ever again because if you pretend it never happened then it can’t hurt you right? (Wrong.) Anyway, Tim tells Jason that if he really wants to do something for him then maybe he can just not tell Batman that Tim was on a rooftop at night, pretty please? At which point Jason, horrified that a boy Tim’s age is running around on rooftops unsupervised in the most crime-ridden parts of Gotham at the most crime-infested time of the day, makes it his personal duty to figure out why Tim does this and also how he can convince him to NOT do this. What he did to Tim was wrong on so many levels but oh god, what if someone so much worse found Tim instead? He agrees to Tim’s request on the condition that Tim carries a beacon at all times during his nighttime extracurricular activities.

Jason brings the beacon over as soon as possible, which turns out to be the next day after school (as Robin of course), and the sight of Tim alone in a giant house compels him to stay for a while, and a while turns into the rest of the day. Tim shows off the photos he’s taken of Batman and the Robins, and Jason is reluctantly but appropriately impressed by Tim’s stealth.

A friendship grows between them.

And then Jason dies.

And Batman grows too reckless.

And Dick refuses to be Robin again.

And Tim becomes Robin—

Except he doesn’t. Not really. He wears Jason’s Robin suit for a very short time before random bouts of nausea take him off the field. But Batman is still beating the shit out of petty criminals and Tim is desperate to help, so he allows Alfred (bless him) to call him a discreet doctor to ensure that his illness is not due to anything he was exposed to while Batman-wrangling before he’s allowed back on the field. Tim just wants it over and done with quickly so he can get back out there and—

He’s not allowed to back on the field.

He’s holding a little black-and-white picture of a literal human growing inside him and he is absolutely benched until there is no longer a literal human growing inside him.

Doctor Thompkins lays out his options, is brutally honest about how his body (too young, too small) will handle a pregnancy (not well), and asks if there is anything he wants to tell her (if there’s anyone Batman needs to put in jail for touching him). Tim doesn’t have long to consider his options—he’s nearly too far along for most clinics to be comfortable performing an abortion (although, given his age, they might be sympathetic enough to bend the rules if Doctor Thompkins can’t perform the procedure for him).

He decides to keep it, a parting gift from his friend Robin to be cherished beyond his death. There is a difficult conversation with Bruce about the child’s father (no, you can’t arrest them, they’re already dead, no, I’m not defending a heinous rapist, it’s your goddamn son, Bruce, this is your grandchild). An unforeseen but extremely welcome consequence of this is that Batman starts pulling his punches, now that he has something to live for again. He looks only half-broken now and he offers Tim a room at the Wayne manor when he finally learns about Tim’s extremely absent parents.

(Tim worries about how to break the news to his parents until he no longer has to worry about it because his mother is dead and his father is in a coma and god he wanted to avoid having that conversation with them but this wasn’t how he wanted it to happen.)

Properly benched now for the foreseeable future, Tim picks up remote vigilante-wrangling instead (from Babs?) and makes headway in some cold cases. He pulls out of school to be homeschooled instead, keeps out of the public eye, and generally avoids leaving Wayne manor because a thirteen-year-old pregnant omega living alone with an adult alpha (and his butler) is a Very Bad Look even for Brucie Wayne and Tim would rather not be known as Bruce Wayne’s child bride thank you very much.

Life proceeds in this manner, the child is delivered by Caesarian with very little fanfare. It is, unfortunately, very difficult to hide the presence of a whole infant. The public settles on the theory that the child is Bruce’s illegitimate son from one of his many dalliances and Tim allows the misconception to propagate simply because no good can come out of him, all of fourteen, publicly claiming his child. But it still stings, just a little. He made this child, held him safe in his womb for eight months. He puts him to bed and nurses him and loves him so much but nobody outside the manor will see it.

Tim bursts back into society when he’s officially adopted by Bruce. He refused to register his son as Bruce’s (it takes some extremely deft work by Oracle to file the appropriate documents for Tim’s claim on his child to be legally valid without alerting the press) but he also understands that Bruce wants a legal connection to his grandchild, so he becomes his son’s dead father’s legally adopted brother. It’s a mess, but at least people who should be are allowed into hospital rooms. It’s not like it will matter, right? Jason’s dead, right?

Wrong.

Jason is very much not dead and very much bewildered by the presence of a baby Wayne that isn’t Damian and it completely derails his plans to exact revenge on Bruce for not killing the Joker. It fucking hurts to see that he’s been replaced by not one but TWO new children but at least they aren’t Robin. At least no one is Robin. At least one of them is Tim, his lonely friend who deserves a family. He returns to Gotham, heads to Crime Alley, becomes Red Hood, and buries himself in shooting out enough kneecaps to push Bruce and Batman from his mind. That was another life. He’s fucking furious at Bruce and his replacements but god the baby has the same curly hair that Jason did and Jason can’t help but think that Bruce might actually have missed him, at least a little.

But probably not enough to love Jason as he is now, full of anger and rage and impulse to hurt hurt hurt the people who hurt others. He channels it all into cleaning up the Alley, perhaps more aggressively than Batman would (should) have, but Batman doesn’t give enough of a shit about the Alley to know that what he’s doing isn’t enough and it’s up to Jason to get his hands downright filthy if he wants to make any changes around here.

Tim notices Red Hood, because of course he does. And it takes him no time at all to realise, oh, that’s Jason. That’s Jason.

#jaytim #notfic #there's potential for drama here if Jason finds out that the kid is Tim's while still thinking it's Bruce's #especially if Jason and Tim have become friends/lovers as adults #I want to be a fly on the wall when Jason punches Bruce not for Joker still being alive #but for knocking Tim up when he was 'just a fucking child you fucking freak what the fuck' #Bruce with a hand on his smarting cheek like a wronged maiden: ???? that's YOUR child????? what are you on??????

[frogaroundandfindout]

Bruce you make me so ill (Batman #416)

#how does one even process everything that just happened in this issue #Jason jumps the gun on a drug bust that he’s apparently doing alone #Nightwing saves him #pays the drug guys off with a big wad of cash #and lectures jason about arrest laws #then we find out jason doesn’t even know who Nightwing is and freaks when he mentions the cave #THEN we find out joker shot dick and Bruce fired him bc he didn’t want to be a responsible for a kid fighting crime #even though dicks literally 19 when it happens #then dick leaves with just the money Alfred gives him #and THEN WE FIND OIT BEUCE DIDNT FOLLOW ANY OF DICKS MOVES #and that dick got kicked out of college after Rome semester and spent time hitchhiking #AND THAT HE ONLY LEARNED ABOUT ROBIN 2 FROM A. NEWS PAPER #then bruce says he only took in Jason because he missed dick #yet still didn’t make contact with him for 18 months #but despite it all dick belatedly gives Jason Robin and takes down the earlier drug people as brotherly bonding #while Batman #for some fucking reason #is watching them land internally thanking dick #god they are so messed up #dc #dick grayson #nightwing #dick and bruce

[spectral-snippets-and-drabbles]

Schrodinger's Human: The Star Child

Halfa's aren't natural by any stretch of the imagination and they certainly were never supposed to come into existence. Yes, you could come come back as a zombie or a revenant, maybe even return as good as new or the complete opposite, but never truly return so... cleanly split.

Despite being the balance of both the living and the dead, Danny Phantom was never truly supposed to come to pass and was a happy accident, a one in an extremely rare umpteenth chance, rather than Danny Fenton dying in the unfortunate lab accident like in all the other timelines and multiverse.

Despite the truly miraculous odds of his survival, the young Halfling realized something was wrong somehow, when he awoke in the hospital. At first he thought it was because of the lab accident causing the scarring on his body and face that made people look away, but that wasn't it. It has been months and yet nobody looks his way.

Not once since the accident has his parents, sister, or his friends (or anyone, really) have looked him in the eyes. He just suspected that they must've felt guilty for getting him hurt...but then even his rouges seem to have always averted their gaze when they fight, so what gives!? Was the damage that severe? He likes to think he healed up pretty nicely with just a few prominent scars.

As Phantom, they weren't even visible! Then one day, he snapped after a particularly rough fight and demanded an answer, pinning the ghost and demanding, screaming, that they look him in his watery eyes.

"We can't! We physically can't look at you without adverting our gaze. Even the humans you call friends and family are unable to so much as look at you. We don't know why!"

It made Danny stop and think. Did...did he get a meta gene awoken from the lab accident? For his sanity, he deduces that it was some form of attention repellant power, that had to be it...right? After confronting his friends and family, they told them the same thing. At least the explanation was there. It made the pain bearable when he was around them.

Then the fight with Pariah Dark happened and everything went down hill from there (he just didn't know it yet).

It made Danny glad that the Ghost King couldn't see him properly (he stuck to the side with the eye patch) and continued his assault on the blind spots with gusto. It took a while but he eventually felled Dark and took the title of King of the Infinite Realms, much to his shock.

With the Ring of Rage and Crown in his possession, he returned to Amity Park exhausted, muttering to himself a desire before he let sleep take over.

"̸̙͐M̷̫̕a̶̯͗ỳ̸̲b̶̙͆e̵̳͋ ̸̹͆n̴̗̏ó̴͙w̸̖͂ ̵̢̀a̶̳͛ş̷̈́ ̴̡̒Ķ̵̊î̷̝n̸̻͌ĝ̷͕,̴̤̈́ ̵͓͗I̴͇͌ ̵̙͑c̸̣̀á̴̮n̷͕͝ ̴̫͐ơ̸̱r̷̮̆d̵̜͗e̷̲̊r̶̞͐ ̸̘̉g̵̖̈́h̵̝͊o̶̦̓s̷͎͂ț̷̂s̶̢̐ ̶̰̚t̵̠̐ỏ̵̺ ̷̘͋g̸̩̕o̷͉͝ ̵̣͋b̶̮͋ā̵̩c̸̨͆ǩ̵͍ ̴͙͘t̴͈͛ǫ̶͊ ̷͇̓ṱ̸̚h̴̞̀e̸̱͋ ̸͖͋R̸̲̀ë̸̪́ả̷̺l̸̙͝m̷̡͘s̶̢͒.̴̮̓.̵̤́.̸͖̈́ȁ̵̡t̸̖͂ ̵̺͐l̵̙͐e̴̢͘a̴͙͆s̶̼̔t̶̢̔ ̷̭̑ú̸͇n̸̗͗ť̷͖ǐ̷͜l̸͇̄ ̸̛̬I̶̺̾ ̶͔͂c̷̫̿a̸̟͊n̶̺̓ ̴̻͝f̶̦̒i̴̥͗ň̶̡i̸̡̊s̷̗̄h̶͖͐ ̵̝̒a̵̧̓ĺ̷̮l̷͍͐ ̶̤͠m̵̲̆y̷͎̐ ̸͙͌s̷̘͛c̵̯͋ḣ̵̖o̴͔͂o̶̫͝l̶͕͛ī̴̼n̴̝͋g̵͝ͅ ̷̨̿f̵̤͆ì̸͈r̸̥̆s̸̠̎ť̶̞,̶̧̑ ̸͈̅i̵̠͌n̴̻̉c̵̩̈́l̷̳͌ǘ̷̲d̵̟͂ĩ̸̳n̴͓͌g̴̪̈́ ̸̲̈c̸̗̿o̶̪͆l̴̤͋l̵̹͋ë̶͍́ä̸̼́g̷̼̑ủ̶̝e̷̩̿.̶͕̂.̸͈̾.̵͖͂I̴̞̽ ̵̣͘w̴̙͝i̵̯̚s̸̼̈h̸̦̉ ̸̟̓t̶̡͒h̵̨͊á̷̖t̵̛͕ ̷̨̿ĩ̴̡t̵̳̐.̷̫̄.̷͙̔.̶͎̃w̶̲͊a̶̳͝s̶̨̋ ̷̫̓t̴̜́h̵̢͌a̵̗͌ṯ̷̾.̵̠̕.̶̤́.̷͓̍ḛ̷̈́a̵̙͘s̷̭̔y̴͈͂.̵͉͂"̴̼̍

(Maybe now as King, I can order ghosts to go back to the Realms...at least until I can finish all my schooling first, including colleague...Yeah right...I wish that it...was that...easy.)

And like a true wish upon a star, it overidded all logic in the universe to the Boy King's whimsy. The ghosts left over night and all natural portals sealed themselves shut with no means to open themselves back up anytime soon.

And across the planet it vanished as well, stray pools of fermented ectoplasm, medicines that used it and even machinery powered by the stuff went missing, with the exception of the Fenton Ghost Zone Portal, that sealed it self with no means for anything to enter or exit.

The young Boy King's actions were far from subtle.

Many are now without their precious magic, Gods have llst their powers, the Speed Force had been stripped away, and Lanterns across all the emotional spectrum found themselves on their homeworlds with rings that failed to respond, their lights snuffed out. Two birds are now sound asleep, unable to open their eyes.

But before Nabu had been pulled out of his Helmet, he told his wearer one cruical message.

"The Source has been sealed away by a being powerful enough to possess all Sapient life in Multiverse, The Anti Life Equation has been unleashed."

#dc x dp #dp x dc #dp x dc crossover #dp x dc prompt #Anti Life Equation!Danny #Danny: Can't I catch a break!? 😔 #Infinite Realms: Sure thing Short King #The Infinite Realms is the Source #Everyone who uses Divine/Otherworldly power: WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON!? #Nobody can look at the Anti Life Equation so that means nobody can look at Danny and now he has depression #Obtaining the Ring and Crown has elevated his powers to bend the sentience of both the Mortal/Spiritual planes #The Leauge memebers are freaking out because they think it's Darkseid #While Darkseid thinks the Earthlings may have discovered it and is preparing to invade #Jason and Damian are in comas because the Ectoplasm in their bodies was ripped out by the wish #Ras al Ghul and many of his ninja has been bathing in sewage for so long that it sent them to the Realms and is executed for cheating death #When the Leauge eventually finds out about Phantom they're gonna demand he fix everything #Bruce wants his boys back and will probably threaten if nobody gags him first #Danny will be beyond pissed because he has struggled to keep Amity Park safe for years and got zero help from the “Heroes” #Only for them to barge in and start chastising him #He's gonna fix the issues first and then beat them into paste for their lack of empathy and ban them from Amity Park #It's like they forgot that he didn't know he some unstoppable force and is actually a teenager who needed so much help #Darkseid shows up in the middle of the fight and Danny erases him and every evil being on Apocalypse with a snap of his fingers

[faeriekit]

If youre still doing the WIP game, its gonna havve to go with alien Danny dp x dc (1)

At the time you sent this, we hadn't even started yet, haha. You're good!

More Health and Hybrids WIP:

He doesn’t know what it is.

He doesn’t know who to ask. He can’t understand anyone and he doesn’t know if he trusts them.

They put something in him. There’s something embedded in him.

He thinks he’s going to cry.

Something touches his arm—Danny flinches. His core tightens with stress as he puts a metaphorical hand on the button, ready to run and hide at any notice.

It’s the lady. He knows her.

No, he doesn’t. He doesn’t know her at all. He can’t talk to her in any way that matters. She’s not a doctor. He doesn’t know why she’s here, or why she’s keeping him here.

She’s nice. She fed him. But is that all it takes to trick him? To make him compliant? Pliable?

She stops touching him when he gets scared, her eyes worried. She kneels—closer than Danny would like, probably, but she keeps her hands to herself. Danny’s heart races faster, out of order, starting and stopping and starting again like a bad engine.

“Eow eart wel?” she asks from his left arm rest, a common question, so softly. Danny doesn’t know what it means. “Eall es wel. Ænlic eow, ænlic me. Bruce bræð wið me?”

#tw medical #tw dehumanization #kinda. this is set after #health and hybrids secrets #no it's not Bruce's name that's just an approximate conjugation of the verb haha #also nothing happened to him that wasn't a normal medical procedure. however he is freaking the fuck out as is his right

[muddlemore]

i think the stupidest shit ever is that i am STILL scared of bruce the shark. like i respect him but i still cannot rock with him im sorry

#behe you are 22 fucking years old scared of a pixar shark #we went on that gayass nemo ride at epcot today and literally he freaked me out. angler fish didnt #in fact the angler fish was just fucking cool. but noooo bruce made my skin crawl. idiot #AND THERES SOME LIKE. GIANT SCULPTURE OF HIM WHERE U CAN POSE IN HIS MOUTH??? i literally couldnt even take a pic from a distance #''haha seeing that wouldve absolutely mortified me as a kid'' #''[walks faster]'' #ok i will say that him having a snort laugh is really cute and helps him be less scary BUT NOT ENOUGH

[zenlosingit]

I’m seeing a lot of people as of late making posts about how Jason would react to finding out that Dick killed the Joker in the last laugh and bagging on Bruce for reviving the clown.

Which yeah I’m all for cause 1) let the clown die 2) it deserves to be known that Jason was avenged for his death and 3) Dick Grayson deserves to go off

But like, can it also be said that one of the reasons to why Bruce revived the Joker was that like, Dick was having a fucking panic attack from doing it?? Yeah, Dick is known for his overwhelming anger and plans of killing criminals (i.e: Anthony Zucco) but killing criminals, at the end of the day, is a line he generally doesn’t want to cross, regardless of who they are.

So boiling the whole Bruce reviving Joker thing to just be about Bruce and his no killing rule is completely ignoring the fact that having Dick carry this weight of killing someone was causing him to spiral and would have been detrimental to his mental state if Bruce had not stepped in to change that.

#idk I just want it be recognized and talked about #cause like Bruce stepped up to help his son from breaking #I don’t think he would’ve given a flying fuck if Dick had ended up killing the joker #yet he didn’t want his son to carry that burden #and people are just… disregarding that #idk im also looking at this through the lens of Good Dad Bruce (TM) #cause im pretty sure in the comics the spun it like Dick was freaking out that he broke Bruce’s killing rule #and afterwards Bruce let Dick go and left him alone saying ‘he needs to think about what he did’ or something like that #yet I still take away that Bruce just doesn’t want anyone else to carry the burden of offing someone #and he probably let Nightwing go to give him space and process what happened #but that’s my interpretation lmao #batman #nightwing #bruce wayne #dick grayson #the joker #dc comics #dc

[danny-chase]

anyways thinking about how Bruce always reacts the worst way possible any time Dick is injured like dude I know you care but yelling isn’t the way to go ;-; bruh it’s so toxic and fucked up and probably contributes to Dick’s perfectionism complex i’m...

#like i'm not even talking about just the Ric situation #there's Robin Year One with Bruce screaming in Dick's face after the two face incident #and Bruce is pissed when Dick gets shot in the arm #and he literally holds Dick by the face with his thumb over radiation burns after the chemo incident #and then there's the post-crisis telling of Bruce firing Dick from Robin after getting shot #and i saw panels Red shared today from Wolfmans run on nw where Dick flashes back to Bruce yelling at him for getting injured #just... dude i know you're freaking out because your kid got hurt but could you not traumatize him more he's already traumatized enough #from yah know - being the one who got injured #anti bruce wayne #negativity #it's so painful to watch because you know it stems from a place of love deep down #but it gets fucked up because of how intense the fear he feels is #i can understand but he's not helping things and actively making the situation worse and just like... i wish he could be better but he'snot #momo don't look

[nerdpoe]

Lazarus Water is a special water to Ghosts. Not for drinking, but more for like...baptism. Into servitude.

Anyone who has been dunked in Lazarus Water is bound by soul contracts to serve the Ghost King, whoever it is.

The more someone has been dunked, the more binding the contracts.

Jason and Bruce? They would have to be given a direct order.

Damian? A side-minded mention would force his body to comply with the Ghost King's wishes.

Ra's? Ra's is screwed.

Because the Ghost King is now a fourteen year old boy, and Ra's has been dunked so many times that all said boy has to do is think and the Demon Head is scrambling to comply.

Danny doesn't know what he did to have ninjas at his beck and call, but they're really taking the workload off of his shoulders by fighting his rogues when he has homework to do or sleep to catch, so he's very okay with all of it.

#dpxdc #dcxdp #dp x dc #dc x dp #phanfic #story prompt #ra's is consulting every single magic user he knows #and the answer is always the same #“lmfao ur fucked” #bruce is keeping track of the League's movements #and they're going to Illinois for some reason #he's pretty confused #and Tim is so freaked out by the nonsensical migration he's made a conspiracy board

[duckapus]

Crossover idea:

-Ash and Pikachu show up unconscious in the Watchtower(the reasons don’t matter), which the Justice League obviously finds very suspicious because who is this random kid, how did he get in here and what the hell is that weird mouse thing?!

-Ash wakes up in this strange high-tech facility staffed by people in weird outfits with Pikachu nowhere to be seen and logically concludes from past experience that he’s been captured by an evil team.

-So now there’s an Angry Teenager Loose in the Watchtower and HOLY SHIT WHY IS HE SHOOTING BLUE ENERGY OUT OF HIS HANDS?! And in the meantime Pikachu has also woken up and doesn’t appreciate that he’s being prodded at by scientists with Ash nowhere in sight and makes that known in typical fashion, i.e. electrocuting everyone nearby.

-Eventually things calm down and the misunderstandings are dealt with, but the damage has been done and neither side particularly likes or trusts each other.

-This is made worse by how interested everyone is in figuring out how both their powers work, which Ash is put off by since the last person who was that invested in how “special” he is was Lysandre.

-There’s also the issue of Bruce’s unique blend of paranoia, parental instincts and emotional constipation making him set off nearly all of Ash’s red flags without realizing it.

-Eventually the League hands the two of them off to the Titans, and while not being confined to a space station anymore and being around people their age makes them much more comfortable it doesn’t actually address the trust issues.

#pokemon #pokemon anime #dc #justice league #teen titans #ash ketchum #pikachu #ash's pikachu #bruce wayne #batman #when ash genuinely doesn't like you you have Royally Fucked Up #if pikachu doesn't like you it's business as usual #batman's brooding habit doesn't work so well on someone who's never heard of batman #it wasn't relevant but ash also happens to have more willpower than every human green lantern combined and it kind of freaks them out #also the Batglare doesn't intimidate him at all #if anything it backfires by pissing him off #martian manhunter tries to read ash's mind exactly once and gets psychic backlash and an iron tail to the face for his troubles

[daydreamerdrew]

All-Star Batman and Robin, the Boy Wonder (2005) #2

#sorry but I like this #the appeal to me isn’t in finding Bruce acting like a maniac entertaining in the same way #extreme things happening all the time in 60s Marvel comics is entertaining to me #I find this relationship interesting #the way Bruce is out of touch with Dick #projecting a lot onto him #thinking Dick will have fun with the car chase the same way he does #while Dick hates it and him #Bruce’s assumption that they’re the same therefore what ‘worked’ for him is also what Dick needs #his fucked up view of the world #and how he /needs/ the validation of Dick feeling similarly #and is forcibly bringing Dick into his world #which I think is weakened by how fucked up this world is portrayed to be #so it’s based in Bruce’s actual reality and not his messed up mind #and then Dick’s perspective with his feelings of hating this guy and being freaked out by him #being dampened by realizing how lonely he is #also as a fan of fun charming superhero-sidekick dynamics #I find stories about the other side of the coin interesting #I’ve been meaning to get back into Ahoy Comics’ Dragonfly/Dragonfly-Man stuff #dc #bruce wayne #dick grayson #my posts #comic panels

[todderwodders]

Man I need to finish my one shot of my post Arkham knight au where poison ivy comes back to life via using the spores she released to absorb scarecrow’s fear toxin as incubators for various clone parts of herself using compatible organic hosts … people collapse all over Gotham because some ginger cunt’s plant-kidney is ripping its way from their lung out of the closest orifice it can find, and all of those many little parts travel from all over Gotham to the botanic gardens to put Ivy back together again. Stronger and nastier than ever. Also she can just produce fear toxin now.

#the resulting harlivy lesbian relationship is explosive cruel and fucked up #like god intended #dc comics #nic writes #tomoko my semi immortal girl gets an entire head growing in her intestines #Bruce gets one in his lung #both of them freaking out for two weeks thinking they have #they’re both such cringe fail losers with medical degrees so of course they don’t go to the doctors #parasitism

[spectral-honey]

AU Jason comes back to Gotham but he's not pissed w the batfam and just goes back normally and has a whole emotional reunion but totally is still doing the crime lord shit just like in the background. Jason's like "bye guys I'm out to go vigilante-ing" and Bruce is like "cool let me come with you son" and Jason's like "UGH dad NO you're so embarrassing I'm an adult now I can go on my own!!" And Bruce is like ":( okay son. Oracle will you stalk Jason for me" and then Jason goes and does his magic and babs is like "well no one else was gonna touch crime alley" and minds her business

#red hood #jason todd #batfam #the batbros figure it out eventually and are like hmmmm. not sure abt that but okay #alfred been knew he approves so long as jason remembers his manners #by which i mean if jason disrespected his weapons alfred would have a fit #'have you been keeping up with cleaning those?' 'yes of course alfie.' 'very good master jason.' #by the time bruce finds out and freaks the fuck out literally everyone is like 'whats the big deal. chill out bro' #bruce sulks and the kids patronizingly comfort him #heres how batfam can still win lmao #i actually wrote this post pre-lawyer jason and then forgot about it in my drafts. think the idea came from a similar place just diff vibe #dc

[blusandbirds]

titans jason thinks bruce putting a tracker in his arm is cool and okay because that means bruce cares. i am okay.

#blu talks #blu is dcposting #meanwhile dick is freaked the fuck out because bruce put a tracker in his arm

[thebibliosphere]

I feel like Bruce Wayne projects the kind of amiable playboy 'fun' vibe that he'd be the type of celebrity that certain interviewers feel comfortable surprising with puppies.

You know the kind of shows I mean.

The late-night talk show situations where they're making benign small talk with their smiling guest, and there's a segment where animals get brought out, usually to talk about some sort of ecological relief effort.

So you're watching your trash TV talk show late at night, and you get to watch billionaire pretty boy Bruce Wayne be begrudgingly talked into holding a (relatively) harmless creature which inevitably gets a lot of delighted shrieks from the audience as it starts being a lot more active than the handler promised. And to his credit, Bruce doesn't flinch, he doesn't freak out. But his eyes are a little wide, and his voice a little tight as the smile on his face takes on a slight rictus quality before he's inevitably rescued by an apologetic handler who is also laughing because they all know there was no real danger, it was just funny to put Bruce, who is an undeniable good sport and already laughing along, out of his comfort zone for the sake of charity.

Meanwhile, up in the Justice League headquarters, several founding members of the League are wondering how fast they can get a fake Oscar award shipped to the space station because fuck off. Absolutely fuck off, Bruce. Where the fuck did he study? Juilliard? (Probably.)

(Clark ends up going to a novelty store during the commercial break. It's faster than trying to get anything shipped, even with the infrastructure Bats built for them. He finds it several days later taped to his console in a conspicuously empty briefing room. It's gaudy and awful, the words "Best Actor" engraved on the plaque. No one's around to see him smile. No one comments when it vanishes. Everyone thinks it's been yeeted out an airlock. Dick absolutely comments when it shows up in the manor, stashed in one of the trophy cases that sprung up for all the bat kids' school awards. Bruce has no idea how it got there. Must have been Alfred. (It was not.))

Anyway, consider, for your amusement, Bruce Wayne getting highjacked on The Gotham Toight Show with a handful of wriggling puppies and, for a split second, not having to pretend he's delighted to be there.

#batman #bruce wayne #batman shitpost #batmuppet