Room to Breathe
Based on this post by @sleepyvirgilprompts but I deviated from the intent a lot.
Tw: Panic attack, Unwanted physical contact, yelling, accusations, anxious thoughts, swearing
Ship: Platonic LAMP
Virgil was an idiot, a tired idiot, but an idiot. He’d just wanted out of his room, the shadows and the dark making it impossible to relax that night. Just like it had the night before. He was exhausted, he didn’t even plan to sleep that night, he just wanted to breathe a little. So, he grabbed his blanket and headed to the Light Side living room. It was the first time he’d really left his room in the last few days.
He’d turned the tv to the lowest volume and clicked on the first thing he saw. An episode of Over the Garden Wall. That was fine, Virgil liked the animation.The low volume was soothing, he turned the subtitles on and let himself zone out.
This of course was dumb, relaxing somewhere he shouldn’t be when he was exhausted. Predictably, he fell asleep.
He didn’t know how long he was asleep, but he woke up to the sound of footsteps, footsteps coming closer. He woke up slightly at that realization, looking around and realizing where he was, sending himself into a panic.
He looked around in vain for a place to hide, the tv was still playing softly, when the footsteps sounded impossibly close and Virgil had gone completely delirious with the cocktail of exhaustion and pure panic in his body, he threw the blanket he’d brought over his head and willed himself to stop breathing so loud.
Now, in any other state, Virgil would’ve recognized this as stupid and ridiculous. But right now, his brain seemed to be operating with a child’s ideas of object permanence. “If I can’t see them, they can’t see me.”
So when he heard Princey’s voice his heart almost stopped, “Hello? Patton?”
When Roman got no response, he tried again, “Lo?”
Virgil briefly thought of making a run for it, if he kept the blanket on his head, maybe the prince wouldn’t know it was him. This plan actially sounded pretty good, but just as Virgil was about to make a breal for it, he felt the blanket being tugged away from him.
He was too shocked to resist, suddenly, the anxious trait found himself staring into the eyes of Creativity.
“Anxiety!” The Prince cried incredulously.
Virgil flinched away at the loud noise, “Good Evening, Princey.” He said in a forced casual tone.
“What in Thomas’s name are you doing down here?!” Roman looked mad. Virgil could feel himself moving closer to the edge with every shouted word.
“I could ask you the same question.” Why was he making this worse?
“I live here, you creep!” Roman is in his face now and it’s too much, Virgil has to get out of there.
He pushes Roman away, not hard, but enough to get him to back out of his way. He runs to the stairs, panic blinding him. He bumps into something solid and firm, arms catch him from falling down the few stairs he’d made it up.
“Woah, there, kiddo? Whatcha doing down here so late?” Patton. Patton, oh no oh no oh no oh no...
“That’s what I’m trying to find out,” Roman huffs angrily from the bottom of the stairs. “He pushed me, trying to make an escape attempt. Good job, Pat, you got him.”
Patton frowns, “Anxiety?” He asks softly, “You wanna tell me what’s going on?”
Virgil lets out a strangled cry, Patton’s arms are still holding onto him, keeping him in place and it’s all too much. He can’t get away, he has to get away. He’s settled on flight, he didn’t want to hurt any of them, but he was so close to losing all control. Why couldn’t they just let him go?
“What are you all doing?” God no. Why did they all have to be here? Why couldn’t he have just stayed in his room?
Virgil was hyperventilating, he couldn’t get himself to focus enough to even explain himself. The only thoughts in his mind right now were, “Go! Go! Go! Danger!” And it was making it impossible to even listen to the words being spoken to him.
“Patton let him go, for Pete’s sake! He’s having a panic attack!” Logan snaps.
“Oh no, kiddo, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize-” Patton stops talking when Virgil yanks away from Patton’s loosened grip and immediately starts running up the remainder of the stairs. They all three flinch at the sound of Virgil’s bedroom door slamming shut.
Patton makes a move to follow the anxious trait, but Logan puts a hand on his shoulder, “Don’t.”
“But he-”
“Is in a serious state of distress, due to the both of you. I doubt he wants any comfort right now. Give him space,” Logan interrupts irritably.
“He left his blankie...” Patton mumbles sadly.
“Logan, that fiend was down here doing gosh knows what, and you want us to give him space?” Roman cries indignantly.
“Ro,” Patton frowns at the prince, “He probably didn’t mean anything by it. He hasn’t come downstairs in days, why’d you chase him out?”
“He was hiding under a blanket,” Roman rolls his eyes, “That’s pretty suspicious. You need to stop being so nice, Pat. Not everyone is good.”
Logan descends the stairs with a blank expression, he looks around the living room critically, “It appears he was watching television,” he drawls.
“Well, yes, I’m sure it appears that way,” Roman defends weakly.
“You chased my dark strange son away for watching cartoons,” Patton looks like he might cry. “Ro, he may never come back down here again!”
“While I doubt that’s true, he may be reluctant to leave his room for the foreseeable future.”
Patton shoots Roman a sad look.
Roman huffs, “You won’t make me feel bad. It’s not happening.”
“Ro...” Patton whispers in a pleading voice, “He didn’t even do anything.”
“Maybe not this time,” Romman mumbles defensively.
“Any-” Logan pulls out a vocab card “-beef, you have with Anxiety is merely because he’s doing his job. Just because you don’t like it, doesn’t mean you can treat him like a criminal for every little thing he does.” Logan states firmly.
Roman groans, “Why do you always take his side?”
“Because he needs the support,” Patton shoots Roman a firm look, “You shouldn’t be so mean to him, Ro. He doesn’t mean to make you mad, he’s just doing his job.”
“Okay, okay! Enough with the guilt trip! I’ll apologize to him!” Roman stomps up a few stairs before Logan stops him.
“Not tonight,” Logan looks at both sides seriously, “Neither of you should bother him anymore tonight. He needs some time to breathe. We can discuss it in the morning.”
Patton nods sadly, “My poor kiddo...”
Roman rolls his eyes, “Whatever, I’m going back to bed.” He never even gets the glass of water he came downstairs for in the first place.
*****
Virgil spends the rest of the night on edge, waiting for the other shoe to drop. For someone to come pounding on his door, demanding an explanation for the previous night, and his solemn oath to never do it again.
Neither of those comes, not even in the morning, when Virgil is sure everyone will wake up angrier than before.
Roman was probably furious. His worst enemy lounging on the couch.
Virgil waited all day for that pounding knock, it didn’t come. Instead he spent the whole day expecting it. And being shocked when he heard a soft tap early on in the evening.
“Kiddo? I brought you some pizza?” Patton. Probably to lull him into a false sense of security. Still, he couldn’t bring himself to ignore the moral trait.
“No thanks, I’m good.”
Outside the door, Patton frowns. “Are you sure?”
“Yeah, I’m sure.” Virgil wants him to leave, he wants him to leave. The silence stretches on for long enough to make him start to think he had.
But then, “Anxiety, I’m sorry Roman chased you out of the living room last night.”
Virgil freezes, his entire body tenses up. He knows he should say something but his entire mind has gone blank.
“He really shouldn’t have done that, kiddo,” Patton continues, “I’m sure he feels bad about it.”
Virgil seriously doubted that, Roman didn’t feel bad. About anything, ever. “It’s fine, I shouldn’t have been down there anyway.” His voice sounds nonchalant, but the fact that this was just another way he’d never be accepted made his heart ache.
“Oh, Anxiety, no!” Patton cries in a horrified voice, “Kiddo, you’re allowed to be in the living room.”
“Yeah, sure. Thanks, Pat.”
“I mean it.” Patton’s voice had done solemn and serious. “Roman shouldn’t have chased you out, you have just as much of a right to be there as the rest of us.”
Virgil sighs and climbs off the bed, he stalks to the door and swings it open. Patton blinks at him in surprise, “You don’t really want me there. I appreciate the thought, I really do. But you and I both know I’d make it awkward. No one really wants the embodiment of fear and nervousness in a room, Pat. Thanks anyway.” He attempt to shut the door, Patton stops him with his foot.
“Wait! That’s not true at all, Anxiety. I’d love for you to come downstairs and hang out with us. Logan doesn’t mind you doing so, either.”
Virgil nods, “And Roman?”
Patton grimaces, “He’ll come around. But he doesn’t own the living room. You have just as much right to be there as he does.”
Virgil shakes his head, “I don’t want to piss him off.”
“Language,” Patton warns lightly, “and he’ll get over it. Why don’t you come down with me? I won’t let him chase you out again, promise.”
And he looks so hopeful, and Virgil didn’t even realize he’d nodded until he felt Patton’s hand grab his and suddenly he was being pulled along downstairs.
“Wait, Patton!” Virgil protests.
Patton stops in the middle of the hall, “If you don’t want to go, I won’t make you. But I really don’t want you to feel like you’re not allowed downstairs.”
Virgil nods, “I just don’t want a repeat of last night, I’m sorry I ran away. It was just...”
“Overwhelming?” Patton offers, “that’s okay, Anxiety. You didn’t do anything wrong. I’m just glad you’re not mad at me, I shouldn’t have grabbed you like that. And besides, Roman promised me he wouldn’t do that again.”
“He did?”
“Yeah, I think Lo and I made him feel bad. He shouldn’t have chased you out.”
“I—are you sure he’s not more mad now? He did find me downstairs in the middle of the night.”
“Which you’re completely allowed to do,” Patton replies.
“I’m just saying, it was odd. And I know I’m not the easiest person to trust. Just...don’t be too hard on him about it, okay? He doesn’t deserve that.”
“Do you really mean that?” Virgil whirls around to see Roman standing at the end of the hall.
“Jesus! Are you trying to kill a guy? Who sneaks up on Anxiety?” Virgil cries exasperatedly.
“I wasn’t sneaking up on you, I just happened to over hear. But you really aren’t upset with me for last night?”
Virgil shrugs, “I was in your living room in the middle of the night. It’s fine.”
Roman shakes his head, “It isn’t, you...you were just watching cartoons. I’m sorry.”
Virgil’s eyes widen in surprise, “Thank you.”
Roman offers a tentative smile, “Would you like to come downstairs and watch a movie?”
Virgil smiles, “Yeah, thanks, that sounds great.”
Patton squeals excitedly, “I’m so glad you two made up! Now! Let’s go get Logie to make us snacks!”
__________
I just ran with this i don’t even have an explanation
Taglist: @idont-freaking-know @aceawkwardunicorn @emo--nightmaree @a-yeet-bop-bop-boom @me-a-mess-morelikelythanyouthink @katlikethesword @tranquil-space-ninja @book-limerence @cute-and-angsty-princess
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