#because you can't get top surgery and can't get hormone therapy and can't safely learn to lower your voice | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

deerlottie · 10 days

Note

hc’s about riley w/ a transmasc boyf? :)

okayokay thinking about meeting her when ur pre-t :3

ur scared of getting ur hair cut shorter and she decides to get hers cut with you ☹️ if u hate what the barber did she will Not leave a tip...already writing a bad review in her head

you're in the process of starting hormones and she's there for you every step of the way :(((

going to walmart to print out ur name change form because she doesnt have a printer???? you get her to treat herself and buy one and now shes obsessed with printing of photos she took of you on her camera :(

bakes u a cake with your Official name on it :p

late night talks in the fort about who's taking whose last night name when you get married, how she can't wait for your voice to drop when you start T and that "you should totallyyyy get heart shaped nipples when you get surgery"

both wanting to go all way with each other but your dysphoria is too much :( u both console each other when things get bad and it's just so good. just holding each other tight and whispering how much you love one another while they cry in ur chest and get it all out, reassuring riley that you're here and ur never gonna leave no matter how much she tries to push you away.

literally throws u a party with mutuals friends when you start T ^__^ makes a whole speech about how proud she is of you and how far you've gotten and she's proud to call you her boyfriend

doing ur T shot for you if ur scaredddd :((( makes you hug a pillow tho because the first time she did it, you almost broke her hand the way you were squeezing it 😭

uses her mom's money to pay for ur top surgery too lets be real....

loveslovesloves ur scars and would be sad if you wanted to cover them up tbh 😣shes obsessed with kissing them and tracing them with her fingers

both going to therapy with each other!! either sitting outside n waiting or she'll ask you to come in with her because she doesn't wanna be alone

clothes stealer >__>

before you were living together, every time you'd go over to her apartment it seemed like she was just adding more and more of ur sweaters to her closet... the first thing she says to you when she opens the door is "let me take ur jacket for you :3" and you never leave with it

ur boxers arent safe either!!!! u slept over for a week one time because ur apartment was getting worked on, so you brought over spare clothes and you wake up to riley watching dateline in ur boxers, shirt that you wore the night before AND ur sweatpants....

u cant complain tho because she looks so good in it

mind going blank but just thinking about shaving and shes watching you in the mirror with the most loving gaze ever and u have to tell her to leave so you can breathe properly 😭

riley making this little game when you two watch true crime docs to see who can guess it first and the prize is always a kiss :3 and $10. you've learned to pretend that you dont have ur wallet so you just bribe her with makeout sessions to forget about the money

#riley hart x reader #riley hart thoughts 💭

31 notes · View notes

asexual-means-no-attraction · 2 years

Note

How do you think, if someone is uncomfortable with all things transgender, should they force themselves to engage with such stuff and like it?

This is gonna be pretty long so I'm putting it under the cut.

Anon continued their ask:

I probably should've explained a bit, I'm sorry if this is rude or insensitive. To me, transgenderism (sorry, I don't know a better word) looks like an extreme form of self-harm. I'm not the most educated, of course, but it looks like cutting off healthy parts of the body, constructing new ones which don't work and often bring serious health problems to the table, hormones also seem to wreck one's body and make a person dependant on them for years, there are articles on long-term harm done by puberty blockers. And I can't understand, why people who are obsessed with losing weight are advised to accept their body and psychological therapy, but if you say anything about therapy around a gender question, they will say you are pro-conversion therapy. But it's sex change that is used in some countries as conversion therapy for gay people. People obsessed with losing weight also say things like "it's not my real body, my real body us hidden under these layers of fat". I just don't understand, although I wish I did, and I wish I was wrong, because otherwise if I'm right, it's really sad that self-harm gets so much approved by the society.

Answer:

-Trans people deal with gender dysphoria. People with body image issues and eating disorders usually deal with body dysmorphia. The way to treat these are very very different. Even when it comes to eating disorders and shit the solution isn't just "learn to love yourself as you are." There is a lot of therapy and various things that can help the person feel more in control while they work on feeling worthy of love and support as they are, as well as learning how to love themselves as they are.

-However, when it comes to gender dysphoria, transitioning is the only solution (not necessarily medical). You do get people who think they're trans when they're not. And for them, medically transitioning can and often will cause irreversible damage mentally and physically. That's why you need to talk to a therapist before medically transitioning. To make sure you're confident that you're trans.

-Trans people will often do a social transition BEFORE they do anything medical (if they medically transition at all). This includes: hairstyle changes, outfit changes, getting people to call you by your actual gender and a new name, etc. Things that don't require any sort of medical intervention. This is a really good way to gauge if you're actually trans or if you're just gender non conforming.

-Medically transitioning is a BIG deal. Like you said, it is completely changing your body. It's not something that should be decided on a whim. And it's done in close consultation with doctors to make sure it's still safe. I have to see a doctor every so often and get blood work done just for my hormones to make sure everything is within safe levels. It took a few appointments before I got top surgery scheduled to make sure that I understood exactly how the operation goes, what it mean, am ok that it's irreversible, and am positive I want to go through with it.

-The alternative to medically transitioning is a lot of mental issues. Before transitioning-- even just social transitioning-- I had major issues with disassociation, depersonalizing, depression, and identifying emotions. This is due to the fact that every time I looked in the mirror, saw my closet, was referred to as "she" or my deadname, it was hard to accept that was me. Something was wrong and I didn't know what. My first thought was not that I was trans. I thought I just had body image issues, so I worked on solutions based on that. They didn't do anything but make me feel worse. I explored the idea of being trans by pure chance. I participated in a drag show fund raiser at my university as a drag king and for the first time actually felt like myself. It took a bit to figure out if I just liked drag or if I was trans. But after socially transitioning I was confident that ya, I am trans. That's when I started exploring medically transitioning-- talking a lot about it with my therapist, friends, and family.

Had I not socially or medically transitioned, I don't think I would be nearly as ok as I am now. I am much more comfortable in my body, a lot more aware of my emotions, and I disassociate a lot less. There are some trans people who have committed suicide because they couldn't transition. There are some with other mental health issues that have developed due to untreated gender dysphoria. Medically transitioning is a big deal, and it's not to be treated lightly. But for actual trans people it's not self harm, it's helping them gain back their sense of self. And help them live as their real selves.

-Someone with body image issues saying "the real me is under a buncha fat" isn't the same as a trans person explaining that they aren't their birth gender. They have different issues going on and thus the treatments are going to be different even if the explanations sound similar.

-social media has created a subgroup of people who idolize self harm. There is some really bad parts of Tumblr and other apps where people glamorize it. And ya, it sucks how much it's been normalized in general. It's something that I am glad is being talked about, I just wish it was being talked about as something that requires support and attention, not something to think is neat.

-For the first part of your ask, about avoiding or not avoiding trans topics. I think doing proper research and listening to trans people's stories is a good thing. It's good to get out of your comfort zone. But I don't think you should force yourself to engage with topics that make you too uncomfortable. Especially online. You should be enjoying your online experience, and if you're not, you need to change how you're interacting with the internet. So long as you treat everyone (trans or not) with respect and don't misgender them then there isn't really a big issue. Just being a decent human being and seeing people as they are is really all I think people really want.

-Not proof reading this, so if there are any errors, f it.

#ask #answered #lgbt discourse #long post #hope that helps #kinda still asleep so who knows #lol

10 notes · View notes

transgenderteensurvivalguide · 7 years

Note

Ok I'm sending this in bc I'm genuinely confused and want to be corrected if necessary. Why aren't trans people taught to embrace their body instead of changing it? I've seen posts going around with words like 'its ok to be a trans man and feminine' and I agree because your gender is what it is no matter your outward appearance. why can't trans men be men and be feminine why is 'transition' needed? You can be a man with a vagina and that's okay.. I don't understand why that needs to change

Kii says:

If a man is comfortable with his vagina, then there is no reason that anyone should pressure him to change that, but if someone is uncomfortable with a part of their body and that discomfort is affecting their mental health, then they also have the right to change that.

I digress a little, but I think a topic that often gets left out of the body positivity movement is the right to body modification. So, if someone (cis or trans) has small breasts and they feel insecure and that insecurity is affecting their clothing choices, relationships, etc, then they have every right to get breast implants if they feel that is the best way to remedy that discomfort. They shouldn’t be shamed or told that they should learn to love their small chest because if they are resorting to surgery, because they’ve probably tried. Surgery is expensive and painful, so it’s generally not something people decide on overnight.

Many trans people experience dysphoria about their bodies and have experienced that for awhile before they make the decision to pursue physical transition. It’s impossible to know what’s best for a person unless you are that person, so trans people shouldn’t be discouraged from transitioning if that’s what they want, as long as they’re making informed decisions.

Lee says:

I think people tend to overlook the fact that a lot of trans people don’t medically transition in every way possible, and there are a lot of trans men who have vaginas and choose not to get lower surgery. In fact, I think the majority of trans men don’t get lower surgery.

There are many reasons why trans people might not to transition:

Medical transitioning can be expensive and time-consuming

They may have health issues or disabilities that make it physically unsafe to medically transition with hormones or surgery

They may feel comfortable with how their bodies are currently and just don’t feel the need to change it

They may not want all the changes that come with starting hormones, or the scarring or potential sensation loss or complications that come with surgery

Some trans people don’t have dysphoria so they don’t feel the need to medically transition

Other trans people do have dysphoria, but try to manage it in other ways than pursuing medical transition wearing masculine/feminine clothing, binding/wearing breast forms, packing/tucking, etc.

They may be genderfluid or have a changing gender expression/presentation and not want to change their bodies in a permanent way

Some non-binary people may feel dysphoric no matter what genitals or hormones they have, so they figure it’s not worth it because none of the options are what they want

Some people may not be able to access medical transitioning due to medical gatekeeping

They may be mentally ill and can’t get a letter in support of them and their mental health (hello ableism) and their local medical teams may not do informed consent

They could be larger and a surgeon refuses to operate on them because they aren’t skinny enough (hello fatphobia)

Some people may not be satisfied with the current surgical options available and feel that they aren’t a good choice for them

Younger trans people may not be able to transition medically without their guardian’s permission and many parents/guardians say no

If someone is financially reliant on a transphobic or abusive relative they may not be able to safely medically transition

They may be able to pass without a medical transition so don’t feel the need to bother with it or they may not care about passing or not want to pass

They may be waiting to medically transition until they’re ready emotionally and when they’re in a stable situation

Some people would rather not go through the whole process of getting surgery and going through the recovery

It can be hard to afford to take time off from work to get surgery or keep up with school while recovering from surgery

Trans people who are comfortable with their bodies because their bodies are their bodies even if most people of their gender have a different body are valid

Relevant links:

Here’s What Trans People Who Aren’t Medically Transitioning Want You To Know- Buzzfeed

Transgender people: 10 common myths

On Choosing Not to Medically Transition: what transition has and has not meant for me

How I’m Transitioning Without Transitioning

Are you still transgender if you don’t want, or are scared, to have surgery or hormone therapy?

Debunking the ‘Surgery Is a Top Priority For Trans People’ Myth

So yes, there are some trans people who do embrace their body instead of changing it, and people who can’t ever quite embrace their body but still choose to stick with it.

But that doesn’t mean that path works for all trans people. There are trans people who just aren’t comfortable in their bodies, and medically transitioning is the path that will make them the happiest in life. There’s nothing wrong with choosing not to medically transition, and there’s nothing wrong with getting surgery and hormones.

I’m a trans person who has been under the knife more than once. I’ve been through major surgeries, a double mastectomy to give me a flat chest, and a hysterectomy to remove my uterus and cervix and fallopian tubes. That was about 8 hours of surgery and I’ll be going through a much bigger surgery when I get phalloplasty. In total, I’ll be going through at least 4 transitioning surgeries, maybe more (there are multiple stages of phalloplasty). And surgery has risks, it’s expensive, and it’s disrupted my life. I really wish that I didn’t need this surgery because it would make my life easier, but I do.

Trans people sometimes have to take drastic steps to reduce our dysphoria, but we do it because it’s necessary. I had debilitating depression that I had been hospitalized for despite taking antidepressants and being in months of intensive outpatient. Once I got top surgery, I no longer had to spend hours fighting off dysphoria about my chest and my depression decreased and my mental health improved.

Maybe I could live with this body I was born with- but I shouldn’t have to. If I could be happier after surgery, then getting surgery is the right choice for me.

And multiple mental health professionals have agreed with me on this- I’ve actually needed to get multiple official letters from licenced medical professionals according to the WPATH guidelines saying they think surgery is the right choice for me before I could get surgery.

Some statistics:

Suicide rates dropped from 29.3 percent to 5.1 percent when there was access to transition-related treatment. (De Cuypere, et al., 2006)

A meta-analysis of transgender people who transitioned medically demonstrated that the average reduction in suicidality went from 30% pre-treatment to 8% post-treatment, and that 78 percent of transgender people had improved psychological functioning after treatment. (Murad, et al., 2010)

86% of patients who accessed transition were assessed by clinicians at follow-up as stable or improved in global functioning. (Johansson, et al., 2010)

In a cross-sectional study of 141 transgender patients who accessed medical transition, suicide fell from 19 percent to zero percent in transgender men and from 24 percent to 6 percent in transgender women. (Kuiper, Cohen-Kettenis, 1988)

“Although more evidence would be welcome, adequately treated gender dysphoria is likely to be safer than the untreated condition, which is associated with an enhanced risk of depression and suicide. Reassuringly, few transsexuals regret undergoing treatment.” (Levy, et al., 2003)

“Second to social support, persons who endorsed having had some form of gender affirmative surgery were significantly more likely to present with lower symptoms of depression.” (Boza, et al., 2014)

“Studies show that there is less than 1% of regrets, and a little more than 1% of suicides among operated subjects. The empirical research does not confirm the opinion that suicide is strongly associated with surgical transformation.” (Michel, et al., 2002)

Testimony for HRT, by TransActive

WPATH’s statement on the medical necessity for transgender healthcare

AMA Resolution 122, which determined the American Medical Association’s stance on the medical necessity of transgender healthcare

The APA’s statement on the medical necessity of transgender healthcare

TranScience Project’s Hormone Therapy and Safety, which offers several citations that talk about the medical risks (and overall importance) for HRT

The Endocrine Society’s Clinical Practice Guidelines for transgender patients, which details their recommendations in full favor of HRT beginning on page 4

More info: What does the scholarly research say about the effect of gender transition on transgender well-being?

So back to the question. “Why aren’t trans people taught to embrace their body instead of changing it?”

Well, as I stated before, plenty of trans people choose not to medically transition. And those people aren’t visible enough. There’s a lot of pressure to medically transition and look cis-passing from both cis people and misinformed/misguided trans people (truscum/transmedicalists) because trans people who choose not to transition are often invalidated and misgendered. So yes, your gender is what it is no matter your outward appearance, and not medically transitioning is valid and it needs to become part of the mainstream narrative too.

But the trans people who do medically transition have probably tried to embrace their bodies, but that doesn’t always work. It just isn’t the way our brains work, for whatever reason. People who do choose to medically transition do it because it’s what will make our lives the happiest moving forward.

And there are many studies and experts who will attest to the necessity of medical transitioning for the people who need it, as you can see from the sources above.

#kii says #Lee says #breasts /#genitals /#medical /#surgery /#dysphoria #physical transition #Anonymous #transgenderteensurvivalguide

213 notes · View notes